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hum-suffer · 7 months

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We'll say hello again (Nevermind the chasm between us) 7

When she comes to, Gauri hears the voices first. It's Maa and uncle, maa is whispering-yelling and uncle is shouting.

"My son is feeling guilty for the inability of this girl to ride a simple animal!" Uncle snaps,"He hasn't spoken, he asks about her every hour! His birthday is ruined because of this attention seeking girl!"

"Whatever do you mean, husband?" Maa whisper yells at him, sounding just as furious,"Would my daughter want to fall and drown? Would any sane person? The lengths that your imagination goes to!"

She hears a clacking of shoes, and uncle speaks in a dead tone,"If she was so sane, why did she not get off the horse beforehand?"

"We have witnesses, including our son, who say that she was trying to get off when her horse lurched! Stop trying to make a little girl a villain, husband."

Uncle huffs. She doesn't hear more but the shoes clack again, this time going further. Maa's hand comes to Gauri's hair and her caress feels like home and acid all in one.

Does everyone really think that?

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The next time she wakes, her head is in someone's lap. Gauri is forced to open her eyes this time.

Bhalla.

She's in Bhalla's lap.

He's looking down at her in worry and surprise. "Bahu, get maa! She's awake."

"Gauri." Bahu sounds absolutely wrecked and when she looks over at her right, his eyes are red and his hair is a mess. He leans over and presses a kiss to Gauri's forehead.

Gauri smiles at him, tries to raise her hand to caress his face but the burning jolt of pain that sears through her makes her curse. Looking down, she notes the ugly bruise and the unnatural swelling at her right wrist.

Oh.

Bahu scrambles off the bed, presses a quick kiss to her knuckles and rushes out of the room.

"I'm so sorry, Gauri," Bhalla says, squeezing her left hand softly. "I did not intend for any of this to happen."

"It's not your fault, brother," she says, squeezing his hand back. "I'm sorry your birthday was ruined because of me."

He scowls at her. "Stop saying things like that, it's not your fault that your horse suddenly became a brat."

"So, it's not your fault, either." She says with finality. He doesn't reply and Gauri sighs, craning her neck to look at him. "Bhalla, brother. Trust me. Whatever happened to Ratan, isn't your fault."

"I insisted we go there."

"And I would do anything for you in a heartbeat." She releases his hand and raises her left hand to his face, caressing his uneven stubble,"You are my brother. You were happy to be in the forest, I know you were. I would gladly do everything and anything to keep you happy, Bhalla."

He leans down and kisses her forehead. "I love you," he says, sounding choked.

Gauri laughs,"I love you more."

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Her wrist is fractured. It will take three months to heal.

Bhalla is extremely angry— at Ratan, at Bhairavrath and at that foot soldier who scared Ratan worse.

They're in a small council room; their family, Bhairavrath and Katappa. The foot soldier has already been suspended from his job for a month. The liberal punishment makes her think it was her uncle's idea, with the way he is extremely relaxed and says the meeting is unnecessary.

"You have saved the life of the only princess of Mahishamati." Maa says, voice firm and clear,"You deserve a reward."

Bhairavrath bows his head as he's kneeling. "I have only done my duty towards my princess, Rajmata. It is unnecessary to reward me."

Bhairavrath spares her a glance and Gauri feels everything that he does. The reverence, the stricter amusement, the discomfort of the attention, the duty.

He is a weapon, Gauri thinks, breathless at her own epiphany. A beautiful, glided weapon, made with utmost care. Powerful, purposeful and dangerous— he is a trishul and Gauri wants nothing more than the power to wield his prowess.

He looks at her, head down and gaze upward— there's a gleam in his eyes and amusement and challenge sparks off of him in waves that Gauri can feel even at a distance.

The gratitude in her grows wings.

"Make him my sworn sword," she says, eyes never leaving Bhairavrath. "He has proved himself trustworthy and daring. He has the intelligence and loyalty." Finally, she looks at Maa. "There is no better reward."

Bahu raises his eyebrows,"You want to reward his momentary bravery with everlasting trust?"

Gauri smiles— a smile of teeth and arrogance. They don't see the importance he holds. None of them do.

"He saved my life, brother." Bhairavrath sucks in a breath at that,"He deserves such trust."

Bhalla scowls. "And what if he turns out to be a traitor?"

Gauri chuckles, the idea is absurd. "He won't." She's seen how much dedication he has towards his sword. If he puts his sword in her service, he's never going to dishonour her and never let her be dishonored.

If he is her sworn sword, she has every honour that he will give to his sword.

Maa looks at Bhairavrath in question.

He quickly bows his head again. "I am honoured beyond words at your command, my princess. I will do whatever you deem fit."

"It is decided then," Maa says. "Katappa, as the commander of the royal guard, you must teach him his duties and schedule. Gauri, coordinate your schedule with him. Draw up a contract. Bhairavrath, I trust you know the words to the oath?"

Bhairavrath nods. He rises from his position and walks towards the arm chair where Gauri is sitting and kneels in front of her. He places his sword at her feet. She distantly notes it is not of the quality that Katappa has but it gleams sharply.

"I, Bhairavrath Prabhu, swear on Mahadev, my blood and my sword, that I will always honour Princess Gauraangi Devi to the last of my days. I will protect you, serve you and perform every command you ask of me. I swear to protect your honour and person, I swear to kill and die in your stead. So I've sworn, and may Mahadev strike me dead if I stray from my oath."

Her heart beats wildly at his variation. He added her honour to his oath—it is not customary.

Gauri decides to break traditions as well.

She leans downward and swipes her left thumb across his blade and uses her blood to do a tilak on his forehead.

"I, Gauraangi Devi, swear on Mahadev, my blood and my sword that I shall always honour your oath. I will respect you as you deserve and I will never ask a task of you that will bring you scorn. You are my protector and sword, thus, I will be your defender and shield. You shall face no stigma under my service. So I've sworn, and may Mahadev strike me dead if I stray from my oath."

There are tears in Bhairavrath's eyes as he looks at her. "My princess," he says,"you did not need to—"

She nods at him, feeling the gazes of her family acutely on her,"I know. However, if every master swore to keep the dignity of their server, this world would be a more honourable place."

Gauri lifts her eyes to Katappa, who is looking at her with pride and tears in his eyes. Maa caresses Gauri's shoulder and gives her a proud smile.

"Rise, Bhairavrath."

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The next day, Gauri sits at the side of the courtyard to practise her sitar. She uses her left hand to play it and can play it well enough by putting it in her lap.

Bhairavrath is sparring with Bahu and Bhalla is again sparring with Katappa. Bahu seems intent on testing Bhairavrath.

Gauri shakes her head, intent to talk to her twin about his conduct with her sworn sword. He is protective of her, she knows, but his manners must never be amiss, especially in regards to someone she has sworn to shield. He knows that she is particular about her words— she will have to reiterate.

It's when she's almost finished with her practise that an arrow flies towards her, and Gauri ducks out of the way. Her eyes narrow at Bhalla and Bhairavrath— the previous culprits.

Bhalla raises his hands in surrender and glares towards Bhairavrath. Bhairavrath shrugs.

"The enemy will not wait for your hand to heal, my princess."

"Aren't you getting more audacious by the day, Bhairavrath?" Gauri asks him, amused by his bluntness as she somehow manages to put away the sitar and stand up. He ducks his head, fastidiously ignoring the way Bhalla and Bahu both are glaring at him.

Bahu opens his mouth and Gauri shoots him a look. He closes his mouth.

"I apologise if I've crossed my limits, my princess," Bhairavrath says passively as she nears him,"But you are a warrior as well. I pray that you never have to see a battlefield but if you do, no enemy will be kind to you because of an injury."

"What is your use if she has to fight battles?" Bahu asks, still scorned.

Gauri raises her eyebrows,"What is the use of Mama if you two have to train to fight?"

"We're princes, Gauri," Bhalla says while Bahu colours in embarrassment. "We must be prepared to fight. Who will fight for the King who doesn't enter the battlefield amongst them?"

Gauri counters,"And I am a princess, Bhalla. Who will fight for a Queen who doesn't enter the battlefield amongst them?"

Bhalla actually chuckles and a shimmer of fury burns in Gauri at his tone as he speaks,"You're going to go to some other place after being married, Gauri. And your husband will be responsible for battles. Mahishamati is a Kingdom, not a Queendom."

"Who cares about the rules of old ideas?" Gauri says,"Even if I don't rule this kingdom, I will rule some other. And I'm no damsel, waiting for a defence. Bhairavrath is no immortal. He will serve me for all his days, but I will not rely on only him for my protection."

Katappa nods. "Gauri is right here, Bhalla. She trains with you to fight because she is a warrior too. She is a princess and it is her duty to protect her people as much as it is yours. Not only Gauri but you two must also learn to fight with both hands."

Bhall lightly stomps on Gauri's foot. "Did you really need to do this?"

She elbows him, hard. "Yes, you brat."

"I will break your other hand."

"I will throw you off a cliff."

Before Bhalla can retort, Bahu shoves the two away from each other. "Children, please!"

Gauri spies a smile on Bhairavrath's face and rolls her eyes. "Since you had this brilliant idea, why don't you tell me how I suddenly use my non-dominant hand as proficiently as my dominant hand, Bhairavrath?"

He bows his head, that audacious smirk in place. "As my princess commands."

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They start with laathis. Gauri feels like a child but tries to grip a laathi as she would with her right hand. The grip feels wrong, even as she tries to balance it between her fingers. It's not the same, her fingers tremble at the weight of it and she feels pathetic.

It's only her and Bhairavrath in the courtyard for now, as the sun starts setting down. He seems to hold himself with ease and a burn of envy goes through Gauri.

He encourages her and Gauri tries to strike the grass doll as hard as she would with her right hand but her force isn't even enough to knock out the thing— while she would have previously wrecked it with one strike.

"Let's try again." He says, and comes at her right. "Look at my hand, princess." His left hand is holding the laathi as his right often holds his dagger. There's no awkwardness. He loosens his grip and tightens it again to show Gauri how his slender fingers grip the laathi.

"Take a deep breath, my princess. You are too worried about your performance." She raises her eyebrows at him incredulously but he doesn't seem to care, eyes on how she grips her laathi. She takes in a deep breath, forcing her shoulders to relax and her arm muscles loosen. "That's good. Now, do what you do with your right hand— same grip, same pressure."

"Oh, thank you, that is such great advice, Bhairavrath!" Gauri huffs sarcastically and hears his snort but doesn't pay attention to him as she adjusts her grip, the pressure on the laathi decreasing.

He raises his hand and she mimics the motion, feeling the trembling start in her finger tips again. "Focus on what you want to inflict, my princess," he says,"don't focus on what you feel."

Gauri nods and waits for another instruction.

"Hold your hand like that for as long as you can," he says,"but shift your legs, you are leaning too much on your right side."

She shifts. "Has anyone ever told you that you are a bad teacher?"

"As you are my first student; no, my princess." He snarks at her, that goddamn audacious smirk in place. Gauri rolls her eyes.

She lets her left arm fall down as he begins to feel it tremble as a whole. "I can't change my ways suddenly, Bhairavrath," she tells him as he puts away the laathis,"I'd have a better advantage if I had learnt it from childhood, but this sudden shift is throwing me off kilter."

Bhairavrath hums.

"Tell me, my princess, is there any task you do in which you particularly use your left hand more?"

"Sewing," she says, leaning against a wall, waiting on him. "I play the sitar with my left hand as well." She doesn't tell him, but she applies her kohl better with her left hand as well.

Bhairavrath hums as he returns to her side, keeping himself an arm's reach behind her as they begin to walk towards her rooms. "You weren't taught to give your right hand a preference in these activities, correct?" She nods, shooting a glance at him over her shoulder. "Your bias for your right hand leaves you feeling unable to fight with your left. You must first acknowledge that your left hand is just as capable as your right."

Gauri hummed. "Why don't you walk beside me, rather than behind me? I find conversations are more comfortable this way."

She stops and turns and he stops walking as well. His jaw locks in place. "I cannot breach my limits and walk beside you, my princess. I am meant to walk behind you."

"Let's strike a deal," she says, beginning to walk backwards. She knows the palace like the back of her hand, she can navigate the place blindfolded. Walking backwards is no big deal, but the way Bhairavrath's eyes widen, she knows she has made the impact she wanted to. "You will walk behind me when we are in company. When alone, you will walk with me." She sees Bhairavrath opening his mouth to protest and speaks over him. "It's that or I walk backwards while facing you in order to save my neck some cramps."

He nods reluctantly and Gauri waits for him to catch up to her. "No one has felt the need to make conversation with me before, my princess. I apologise if I was rude in any manner."

"Well, I like to converse with persons close to myself."

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Part 6

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hum-suffer · 7 months

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We'll say hello again (Nevermind the chasm between us) 6

They're going to be fifteen soon and the fact seems to entertain both of her brothers way too much than it does her.

Gauri rolls her eyes as she spars against a smiling Bahu, her leather urumi clashing against his wooden longsword. Behind them, Bhalla is sparring against Katappa and his mace rings loud as Katappa retaliates, with his own mace in return.

"Faster, Gauri!" Amrendra yells at her laughingly,"You're my sister, be better than this!"

She doesn't reply but raises her eyebrows and twirls out of reach of his sword point and kicks his bicep in one step. Bahu stumbles but stays standing on his feet. He looks at Gauri in what she assumes to be a reluctantly impressed look. She smirks at him.

He stands up in a flourish of limbs and his sword point comes dangerously close to her torso but Gauri ducks and rolls away, the pressure at her knees and calf almost knocking her out. Laying down, Gauri swipes at Bahu's legs and he dodges, jumping away.

Panting, Gauri rises. Bahu moves to loosen his shoulders and gives her a cocky smile. Gauri shakes her head and adjusts her grip on her urumi and charges. Bahu charges back at her and she's aiming to hit his shoulder in a fatal attack but he ducks at the last moment and his foot kicks out. Only, instead of hitting her elongated sword hilt, Bahu's armoured shoe lands on her knuckles.

Gauri yelps, embarrassingly enough and everyone around them seems to still.

"Good match," she tells Bahu, who looks like he's on the threshold of panicking. Gauri feels the blood slither from her split knuckles as Bhalla jogs over and pats Bahu on the back.

Katappa smiles at them and shakes his head. Gauri gives him her leather urumi and he looks taken aback at the blood on her knuckles. "I'm fine," she lies before he can worry about her,"I'll see the healer and then see you all for dinner."

"You know that you also lost the bet, right?" Bhalla says, grinning from ear to ear. Gauri rolls her eyes. She enables her brothers too much, she's extremely aware of that. Just this once, Gauri protested against the idea of spending Bhalla's birthday in a forest, hunting a wild bear and they made it their mission to gain Gauri's assent, free or forced. She shouldn't have taken a bet for sparring but why not make things memorable, even if she knew she was always going to agree with whatever those two wanted?

The blood on her knuckles drops on the beige stone of the courtyard and Gauri smiles. Her voice doesn't work, the instinctive lump in her throat that is a reaction to the pain won't let her speak. She nods and Bhalla punches the air, a grin on his face.

She looks down at her hand. The blood looks like liquid alta.

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Bahu crawls into her bed that night.

"I'm sorry," he whispers in a broken voice as he had done all those years ago. He kisses her knuckles. Gauri wonders if he feels the blood there. If he tastes it.

She smiles at him and brushes his hair away from his eyes. He's growing his hair longer these days, it suits him, but this is the awkward phase where even Gauri needs to acknowledge that he's looking awkward. "I'm alright, Amar," she whispers in the air between them.

He hiccups and burrows closer to her.

"Don't cry, beta," she coos at him even though he's older to her by ten minutes, "it's alright, I'm not even hurt. See?"

She flexes her fist and the jolts of pain that run along her arm are suppressed in her throat because she can't see guilt in his eyes again.

He's laying lower than her, face burrowed in her shoulder. Gauri presses a kiss to his crown and slides an arm under his head as a pillow. "I didn't mean to," he says, trembling still. "I can never see you hurt, not because of me, never."

"Oh, brother," she sighs and pulls him tighter to herself, cradling him. "I know you would never hurt me, I know. It's just a scratch, Amar. It'll heal by Bhalla's birthday, you see. I'm fine." She pushes his hair back again and kisses his hairline tenderly. "You fought so well, I'm so proud of you."

Bahu shifts his head on Gauri's hand that he's using as a pillow, and lays more comfortably in the crook of her elbow. His hand goes to his neck and pulls at the chain he always wears.

Gauri gifted it to him when they were twelve, a simple and dainty gold chain. Bhalla had received a similar gift, but he had refused to wear it because he felt that it was too feminine. Bahu hadn't taken the chain off once and over the years, he developed the habit that he's currently perusing.

He pulls at the chain, hard enough that had it been a lesser craftsmanship, the chain would end up broken. He learns it from Gauri, she thinks. She does the same to the rudraksha mala she wears, only, her habit is born out of a need to ground herself and his is born out of a need to reassure himself.

She takes his hand, with her harmed hand, and gently pulls it away from his chain. Her fingers envelop his and she feels the heavy impressions that the pulling has left behind.

She kisses his forehead again. "Do not worry, brother. You could never hurt me."

Bahu lowers his gaze and tightens his hold on their joined hands but doesn't say anything.

Gauri keeps her eyes open until she hears the telltale snoring of her brother. "I love you," she says in the air between them like it is a secret that will stay buried between them. He is the moon to her stars, he is the sky to her sun, he is the heart to her ribcage. He is her brother.

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By the time they do go out on Bhalla's birthday, Gauri's hand is healed, almost, barring the spasms of pain she feels if she lifts heavier objects. The cancellation of her sitar learning classes has put her in a mood so foul that even Maa knows the reason.

Still, Gauri and Bahu ambush Bhalla in his room, jumping on his bed to wake him up like they've been doing for years and years on end. She doesn't even remember when the tradition started and she's well aware that they're getting too old to be jumping on beds, but every year she thinks of declining and every year she gives into Bahu's big eyes.

Bhalla hits them both with his pillows— any and all pillows he can get his hands on are flung at the twins, who dodge or even return the attack. Bhalla laughs loudly and finally pulls them down, Bahu by his foot and Gauri by her pallu.

They sit on his bed, huffing and puffing, big smiles on their exhausted faces.

"Happy birthday, Bhalla!" Gauri and Bahu say in unison. Bahu once again tries to attack Bhalla with tickles but falls face first on the mattress when Bhalla rolls over. Gauri snickers, wishing she could capture this moment forever.

Bhalla, never gone to let an opportunity go, rolls back again on Bahu's back, laughing rowdily when Bahu squeaks.

Finally, when Bahu pinches Bhalla's ear and they both untangle themselves from the mess they've created, Gauri pulls out her pouch from her waist and passes it on to Bhalla. He gives her a smile and rushes to open it, grabbing out the Mahadev idol that Gauri herself made from clay. Bhalla whispers thanks with teary eyes and gives Gauri a half hug.

Bahu pulls out the bag that he had earlier stowed away under the bed and passes it onto Bhalla obnoxiously. Bhalla hits Bahu with the bag first before opening it and pulling out a pair of golden and blue mojdis that perfectly suit the favourite outfit that Bhalla has.

"Thank you," he says to Bahu, giving him a hug as well. He reverently puts the Mahadev idol at his bedside table and gently puts the shoes on the floor before he tackles Gauri in a hug that sends her sprawling on the mattress. She laughs loudly and tickles him in retaliation, to get him to let her go. Unfortunately, Bahu, that traitor, joins Bhalla and just laughs.

"I'll never do anything for you!" She threatens the two of them.

Bhalla sticks out his tongue at her,"You will, you love us too much."

Before she can spew out a lie about declination, there's a knock on the doors and Maa calls out Bhalla's name and enters.

She takes one look at them, Bhalla and Gauri faux wrestling as Bahu has a pillow in his hands, ready to hit the two of them, and raises her eyebrows. Bhalla scrambles off of Gauri and Gauri sits up so fast that she's dizzy with the sudden blood flow for a moment. Still, she snatches the pillow from Bahu's hands and puts it back near the headboard.

Behind Maa, uncle Bijjaldev stands. He scoffs,"What are you, children? Getting into the room of your elder brother and ruining his sleep is what you do for his birthday?"

Regret makes Gauri look down instantly. Bhalla shares a lot of his thoughts with his father. He's a good man, Bhalla, but really, if he only tolerates their presence and doesn't anticipate it? Is it even any good?

Maa gives uncle a look but smiles at them. "Get ready for breakfast, my children." Gauri nudges Bhalla and he breaks out of his trance to stumble towards his parents and touch their feet.

"May you always be brave and glorious." Maa blesses him with gentle eyes and cups his face as she kisses his forehead. Uncle pulls Bhalla to embrace him roughly and blesses,"May you be a worthy King."

The word suffocates the levity in the room and Gauri slips off from Bhalla's bed.

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They have a successful hunt, they do. They capture the bear— injured from Bhalla's multiple arrows— and they're going back towards the city when it happens. Gauri's horse, Ratan, balks and jerks suddenly.

She's nervous about the sudden behavioral change in her faithful horse but everything she tries doesn't work at all and Ratan doesn't move forward at all. He shifts jerkily even when Gauri turns forceful to make him move.

The forest they're in is at the edge of the state of Mahishamati and the river that flows through the forest, which is as near to them as possible since it is a landmark of their way home, as well as the impending waterfall all make her extremely jittery.

Bhairavrath appears beside her, walking on foot, and tries his hand at gently caressing Ratan. Ratan neighs loudly and now they've finally gained the attention of the rest of the party. Bhairavrath tries his damnedest, but gentle ways isn't what Ratan is understanding. Gauri doesn't know what's wrong with the horse but she knows what dangers she's going to wade in if she keeps riding him.

"My princess," Bhairavrath says, extremely serious as he has an eye on Ratan and one on Gauri. "May I suggest stepping down."

"That's exactly what I'm planning, my archer." She quips back as she begins to rise. But at that moment, a foot soldier approaches them, his spear parallel to the ground and tries to command Ratan. Ratan, who shares the temper of Gauri, snarls and rises in an obvious challenge and Gauri— Gauri falls.

The ground is already slippery because of the season as well as the river flowing mere feet away and she rolls off the rock laid terrain, her dominant hand colluding with a boulder in an attempt to steady herself.

She falls into the river, mouth open in a silent scream as agony burns through her hand right down to the lungs and she can't breath. She can't see anything and all she feels is water on her skin, on her clothes, in her nose and she can't breathe. Panic bubbles in her chest and the darkness under the water makes her fear larger still as the water begins to flow. Gauri kicks her feet in an attempt to rise above or swim but her right hand isn't responding well to any pressure and every moment, even ones made by forceful waves, becomes hurtful.

She doesn't know if it's mere moments or hours but the next thing she knows is there's another person near her and as her eyes are beginning to droop and head starts to buzz, a hand laces around her waist and pulls her up.

As soon as they are above the water surface, Gauri gasps, greedy for the air in order to calm her lungs as much as she can. Her rescuer is saying something but it doesn't make sense to her and she realises some water must have gone into her ears as well.

The words sound far away but she recognises the voice.

"You're alive, my princess," Bhairavrath says,"just hold onto me and we can go back to safety."

Gauri does as she's told because she has no energy. There's a headache blooming in her mind and the throb behind her ear makes her wonder if she hit hear head somewhere.

"Gauri!" She hears Bahu shout, because she will always hear him, no matter what happens, his voice is always going to be loud and clear to her. And then, as the water turns shallow, there's another, more familiar arm around her shoulder. Gauri slumps against Bahu.

"Her hand is swollen." Bhairavrath says somewhere. She hears someone say something in retort but can't make out whatever is being said.

She buries her face in Bahu's shoulder. "Amar," she whispers,"my head."

His hand instantly goes to the back of her hand and in a light caress, travels to her nape. Her eyes continue to droop.

"The Princess needs immediate medical attention," Bhairavrath says somewhere.

Bhalla barks an order to Katappa, oddly sounding like his mother in tone. Gauri scoffs at the thought and her eyes close completely.

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Hola, amigos!!!! What do you think?

Tagging: @vijayasena @alhad-si-simran @o-merebholebalam @multifandom-boss-bitch @ambidextrousarcher

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