#(i swear this wasn't inspired by the GO hype)
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Don't leave me
Comforting Farleigh after Felix's death
Farleigh Start x female reader
a/n: I really wanted to write this because I feel like Farleigh needed someone to comfort him and tell him everything's going to be alright after he got yelled at and he definitely deserved better, poor baby, (also that's what I think the scene is about, if I got it wrong, sorry)
warning: Felix dying, swearing, everybody treating Farleigh like shit, drugs, Farleigh crying a lot
word count: 3,299
You have known Farleigh for as long as you can remember. He's always been there for you. Your rock, your shoulder to cry on, someone who knew all of your secrets and all your problems, always ready to help you. Even if it was 4 pm or 4 am, you called and he was there.
And you were always there for him. Even though most of the times you two were on different continents and hours and miles away from each other, you never let something like that ruin what you two had. Then things started getting a lot easier because Farleigh came to live in England and since then you were inseperable. Yes, you did spend quite some time at Saltburn even when Farleigh wasn't here because you were really good friends with Felix and then later met Venetia, who you've clicked with just like that. Yes, sometimes they had their own opinion on Farleigh and sometimes you hated the way they talked about him but he somehow learned how to shake that off and not take it too seriously, so you did exactly that even though deep down it hurt to listen.
When you joined Oxford university, you and Farleigh became even closer and you eventually fell in love with him. You kept it a secret for quite some time because you were afraid to talk about your feelings because you didn't want to lose him. He was your home and you weren't planning on losing that, but luckily he felt the same and that was it. He was everything you always wanted and you swore you would never let him go or do anything that would harm him or let him battle his problems alone. No fucking way.
Everything was going great. You finished another year at Oxford, celebration obviously planned there and then later at Saltburn. Summer was about to begin and you had a feeling this summer was going to be one to remember. And oh boy it was.. but for very different reasons.
"Hey baby." Farleigh walked into your dorm, closing the door behind him, his arms immedistely wrapping around your body, hugging you from behind. "Did you finish packing?" He aks gently as he looked around the room, your clothes still splatered across the floor and your bed, messier than the first night you came here.
"Shut up." You playfully hit his arm as you heard him chuckle in your ear, his lips connecting with the top of your head in a gentle kiss. "I still have so much to do, I'll never make it in time."
"Yes you will, I'll wait for you, you know I'm not leaving." He spun you around, his hands resting on your waist as he pulled you closer and hugged you tightly, one of those as you called them grizly bear hugs.
"Then help me pack?" You batted your eyelashes at him and made a pouty face, hoping it would work.
"Oh no, that's not fair, don't do that, you know I can't resis that face" He said and kissed your lips swiftly, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Of course I'll help."
"Is anybody else coming with us?" You asked while folding your t-shirts, placing them neatly inside your suitcase.
"Oliver fucking Quick." Farleigh trailed off.
"What?" You quickly turned around to look at him, unsure if you heard that correctly. You obviously didn't like him, I mean Fekix though he was a very inspiring person but you and Farleigh? You didn't get the hype and always held him on his toes.
"Yeah, Felix invited him. I don't know why, something about him not wanting to go home because of his parents."
"Do Elspeth and James know that?" You asked, crossing your arms.
"Yes, apparently Elspeth is extremely excited to meet him. That'll be interesting." Farleigh closed one of your bags and placed it on his shoulder. "Damn, what do you have in here, rocks?"
"Very funny, no, all the vibrators you gave me." You said, laughing, seriousness washed over his face.
"Oh really?" He dropped the bag on the floor and grabbed your waist, hoisting your body up on his shoulder, his large hand smacking you on the ass. Your laugh echoed throughout the room, probably audible outside too, but that's how Farleigh always wanted you to be. Such beautiful laughter, it was like music to his ears, like daisies adorning a beautiful meadow. He gently put you down on the bed and laid on top of you, his thumb caressing your soft cheek.
"I love you." He whispered, a special kind of sparkle in his eyes, a smile plastered on his face.
"I love you too, Farleigh." His hot breath washed over your face, his lips slightly brushed yours before he kissed you gently, a moment of bliss before the big storm.
~ ° * ° ~
Summer at Saltburn? Always crazy and busy, but the busy part? Partying and laying out on the freshly cut grass or swimming in the pool. That was all you did there every summer. Not a bad life, you always thought to yourself, but sometimes it was nice to go back to reality and to a real life.You'd be lying if you said you didn't get used to this kind of life, the glamour, the dinner parties, dressing up,it was quite fun to a certain point. When it was too much, you and Farleigh packed your bags and left for a week or two, all alone, away from all of it. But to someone, this life was inviting them in more and more as each day passed.
And then the Cattons decided to throw Oliver a birthday party. 200 people? 300? You lost count. I mean if it's a party then it's a great idea, but for the entire night Farleigh had a very strange feeling about everything that night. He watched Oliver just skulk around almost every room in the house, people not paying too much attention to him. Most of them only knew him as "the birthday boy" but only a few of them knew his actual name. There was something strange about him, Farleigh always kept an eye on him.
...and he was right...
Around 11 am you felt someone shaking your body, trying to wake you up. You opened your eyes and saw Farleigh standing in front of you and you immediately knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking, his mannerisms completely different than how he usually is.
"What is it?" You asked and instantly sat up on the bed, fear in your eyes and in your voice, your heart suddenly picking up its pace, a sudden wave of ringing filling up your ears.
"Felix is missing." Farleigh trailed off.
"What?" You quickly got up and didn't even bother to put on shoes. You ran outisde and saw Venetia in the water, walking around, waving her hands underwater. You ran towards her with Farleigh, both of you joining her, hoping he's not in here and that he's fine. Then you heard a gut wrenching scream coming from the maze. You looked at Farleigh and instantly felt tears well up in your eyes. You shook your head and walked as quickly as possible to the edge, climbed and got up, the three of you running towards the maze.
You knew the maze like the back of your hand so it was easy to get to the center, but at that moment you wish that you could just get lost in there because what you all saw was something you would never be able to forget as it was buried inside you mind very deeply.
Felix was laying there on his stomach, golden wings still attached to his back. His body a pale colour, almost a hint of blue, his beautiful eyes now without that incredible spark that you got so used to seeing. His lifeless body was something you never thought you would have to see in your life nor did you want to but for some reason you couldn't look away.
Venetia, you and Farleigh fell to your knees, grasping onto one another, looking for comfort as tears just started coming out, the pain in your chest unlike anything you've ever experienced before. It was as if someone ripped out your heart, a huge hole right in the middle of your chest. Your ears started ringing and you felt like you were going to pass out. You suddenly felt like you weren't on this planet anymore, completely disoriented and if Farleigh and Venetia weren't grasping onto your body, you don't know how you would have dealt with this alone. You let out a loud scream, your chest convulsing from all the sobs that kept coming out of your body.
You don't know how or when you got up, left the maze and changed your clothes or when on earth did everybody gather for lunch, but there you were, sitting at the table with James, Elspeth, Venetia, Farleigh, oh and yes, of course, Oliver.
The curtains shut as the room plunged into darkness, making it look red like blood, not a hint of daylight. It somehow looked terrifying and gruesome, very unpleasant. You were sitting next to Farleigh, his face kind of emotionless as he kept staring at the table, not moving his gaze from the same spot. You reached out to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, making him snap out of his thoughts, a sob suddenly falling from his lips. On your left was an empty chair and an empty plate. Felix's spot and when you first walked in and saw it, you broke down again.
Suddenly there was a hint of a squeaking gurney on the outside, meaning they were passing the window with Felix's body and then there was a sound of doors closing. A tear rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes, your hand suddenly slipping away from Farleigh's.
"Oh my God... May I be excused, please?" Farleigh whimpered and got up from the table, his cheeks stained with tears.
"No. We haven't finished lunch." James replied, not even looking at Farleigh.
"Lunch is cold. You want me just eat it like nothing is happening?"
"What else is there to do, darling?" Elspeth looked at him, sadness noticable in her eyes.
"Anything! Anything-" You looked at him as he screamed out, a whimper escaping your lips as tears started falling from your eyes again. The pain was unbearable and seeing Farleigh like that broke your heart and how everybody acted like nothing ever happened, like Farleigh was the only one who actually cared and the only one who saw how messed up it was that everybody was acting like this. James slammed his fists on the table, the plates clattering. You jumped, your body shook from fear, the sudden change in tone almost too much.
"Farleigh! Will you be quiet?! Sit down and eat the bloody pie! Just eat it! Eat it and shut up! Eat the bloody pie!"
Farleigh sat down and grabbed his fork, placing the pie in his mouth but unable to chew through the meat. Small pieces flew out of his mouth and onto the plate, a tear rolling down his cheek.
"You're not the only person here with feelings. None of us wants your bloody American feelings!" James trailed off and suddenly there was silence inside the room. You didn't even try to put anything in your mouth because you felt like you were going to throw up.
"I think it’s delicious." Oliver suddenly said, Farleigh snapping at him.
"What the fuck are you still doing here?" you look at Oliver and his expression and there was nothing on his face. Like he didn't care. You wiped away your tears and placed your hands in your lap.
"Wait, does no one else find it weird?.. No one else finds that weird?"
"Farleigh.." you whispered and placed your hand on top of his, your fingers grazing his in a comforting way.
"I wouldn’t throw stones if I was you, Farleigh." Oliver replied in a strict tone, a fork in his hand.
"Excuse me?"
"Please stop." Venetia sighed and said quietly.
"What is he saying?" James asked and looked at Oliver.
"I..I've no idea." Farleigh said, clearly confused what Oliver wanted to get with all of this.
"What I'm saying is that I'd feel guilty too."
"Guilty?"
"If I was the one racking up lines the night someone died."
"Fuck you." Farleigh stared back at him, cursing, only hate for Oliver in his body at that very moment.
"That's not a denial." Oliver replied as he leaned forward a little bit, his gaze moving between you and Farleigh.
"You took it too far, Oliver." You interrupted them, defending Farleigh.
"Is that true?" James asked, pale with fury. He looked towards Duncan signaling him to leave. "Search Farleigh's room."
"No." Farleigh crumpled into his chair and started sobbing. Now you were a little bit scared. Your eyes widened, not surely understanding what they were going to do about this situation. Seeing and hearing what was happening was making the situation even harder. You couldn't take your eyes off Farleigh and when you saw tears continuously welling up in his eyes, you couldn't help but start sobbing as well. Your heart was breaking.
"Get out." Sir James said angrily.
"Please, he didn't do anything.." You looked at Sir James, begging, trying to make him see that it really wasn't his fault and that he had nothing to do with all of this. Of course he didn't believe you, he didn't even acknowledge you.
"No, wait-" Farleigh whimpered and wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his jumper.
"What's happening?" Elspeth asked after wiping her mouth eith a linen cloth.
"Aunt Elspeth- Elspeth-" he said desperately but got interrupted by James.
"Don’t you dare look at her!"
Elspeth looked liked she was now ignoring Falreigh, not wanting to look at him at all. Could she ever look at him again after this? Who knows.
"Get out!"
Farleigh looked around the table, searching for somebody to look at him, to see they were making a mistake but no one looked at him except for you. Not even Oliver. He got up your hand slipped off, hanging next to your body. Your lip trembled at the sudden empty feeling, your head hung low as you kept staring at your fingers. Farleigh grabbed onto the chair, picking at the stitching.
"I won't mention this to the police. That's all you get. Nothing more. Ever again." James trailed off and that was the last thing you heard from him that night. Farleigh turned to the side and left the room, leaving you alone with the Cattons and Oliver. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand.
"You didn't have to do this. It wasn't his fault." You snapped back at Oliver, his eyes quickly looking back at you. A hidden smirk adorned his face, a sinnister look in his eyes.
"You know he did it. He was racking up lines the whole night. Felix could've taken whatever Farleigh was using." Oliver replied, his plate now half empty. "Even when you two were fucking outside. It was like a freak show."
"Fuck you." You quickly got up and threw the linen clot on the table, your legs feeling like jello. "If you'll excuse me, I can't be in the room with someone who cares more about a fucking stranger than a member of this family."
You turned around on your heels and walked out of the room. The second you closed the doors, you let out the biggest sob, a long hallway making it echo throughout the house. You felt like you were falling apart from the inside out.
You stood outside Farleigh's room as you quietly knocked on the door, only a quiet sob audible. You silently opened the door and what you saw broke your heart completely. Farleigh was laying on the floor, his knees pulled towards his body, his arms wrapped around them as loud sobs fell from his lips.
You looked around his room and saw how big of a mess it was. Everything was scattered on the floor. His clothes, his books, all of his belongings on the floor. You bit your lip in hopes it would stop you from crying, but it didn't help.
You walked over to his sobbing figure and knelt down, your arms immediately wrapping around his body.
"Farleigh... baby.." you whispered, his body shaking.
"They think I killed him." He whispered through his cries, his tears soaking the carpet underneath him. "I didn't do it." His cries kept getting louder and it was harder for you to stay quiet because you couldn't stand him being like this, broken, like he didn't mean anything to anybody. Like it was all his fault. You wanted to fix everything and make it all okay for him because that's exactly what he deserved. He deserved better and to be treated right.
"No, Farleigh, you didn't do it. It's not your fault, please don't think that. You didn't kill Felix." You told him, your hands caressing his arms, comforting him, hoping it would help him even just a little bit.
"Now I feel like I did." He cried out, his face now buried in his hands.
"Hey, come here." You grabbed his arm and gently pulled him, moving his hands from his face. You intertwined your fingers with his and helped him sit up, his knees once more pulled towards his body. You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, gently caressing his cheeks before you cupped his face, making him look at you directly in your eyes.
"You didn't do it, why would you think that? Because of Oliver?" He just nooded and closed his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It felt like someone was sitting on your chest, the pressure and the pain in your heart from seeing Farleigh like this was unbearable.
"Fuck him, Farleigh. He's a nobody, a fucking leech and if I could get rid of him, I would. You're so much more than all of this. You deserve everything in this world and if they can't see it, fuck 'em." You trailed off, tears welling up in your eyes and your voice breaking every other word.
"Everybody is leaving me, pushing me away like I mean nothing." He sobbed and quickly got up as he started pacing around his room, his cries so loud that it seemed like he was fighting for air. You jumped up and stood there in place for a few seconds, somehow unable to move.
"Are you also going to leave me?" His voice cracked and right then he looked like a little kid. You dare to say that he looked absolutely defeated. "Please don't leave me."
A loud cry fell from your lips, his words hurting you, hurting how he thought that you would actually leave him after everything. You shook your head and practically ran towards him, your body smashing into his
You wrapped your arms around him tightly, your face buried in his chest as you sobbed quietly. His arms squeezed you, almost as if he was afraid if he held you lightly or if he let you go, you would somehow slip away.
"I will never leave you, Farleigh. I could never. You're a part of me and if I lose you, I'll lose myself. Please don't ever think that I would leave you." He kissed the top of your head, one hand still wrapped around your body while the other gently caressed your hair.
"Now let's get out of here. Okay?" You kissed him on the lips gently, his arms resting on your hips. You had to get out of this house, had to get away from Saltburn as soon as possible. The only good thing about all of this? Farleigh by your side.
"Okay."
#farleigh start#saltburn#farleigh start x reader#saltburn x reader#farleigh start smut#saltburn smut
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my experience at am's show (rock in roma, ippodromo delle capannelle - 16/07/2023)
SO you know the drill by now this is the compulsory recap post i need to write because i'm terrified of forgetting about things and i also have so much more footage this time around (i basically recorded the whole concert while in paris i kinda did but idk i had much less stuff it was my first time so i was just too overwhelmed ajfnwidjsj). you knew it was coming i just needed to sort my thoughts out and i know some of those things have already been said but idc i'm writing them down anyway + i rewatched all my videos so i have a lot to say so LET'S GO
• first of all i want to preface this by saying that it was +40° degrees in rome and gates were opened at 3pm. opening bands started at ~6:30 and am came on stage at 9:40. needless to say everyone was cooking under the sun and slowly losing our collective minds i swear i've never drunk so much water my entire life and still felt like i was shrinking
• it was also my first proper concert standing in a pit + i was lucky enough to have tickets for the closest section to the stage and kind of a decent view despite the fact that i'm literally 5'2
• still i confirmed my opinion that i very much prefer seated tickets (not a big fan of standing in a crowd i must admit) ESPECIALLY when it comes to summer concerts because there was literally NO AIR just weed smoke and most importantly sweat i swear i couldn't breathe. we were fairly close to the stage but at what cost
• i wasn't particularly excited about the opening acts (as i wasn't for inhaler back in may) BUT i have to say they both slayed so hard??? willie j healey was so fucking cute and thoughtful with the crowd (we were under the shadow of the stage but the more far back section of the pit was directly under the scorching sun his whole set and he kept asking if they were okay) and the hives hyped up the crowd so fucking much??? their stage presence was incredible everyone loved them
• the breaks in between opening acts and am were filled with the festival replaying the same harry styles/rosalia/*random italian trapper* songs over and over again and at some point the crowd was about to riot because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN THAT SHIT OFF not even joking when i say we heard the same hs song at least 30 times i swear dante alighieri used that as inspiration to write his inferno
• everyone was sweaty dirty tired and kinda fucked up from the sun and by the time am was about to come on stage i was contemplating my chances of not passing out and praying to god clinging to the bit of energy i still had in me to hold on for just an hour and a half more
• just making it clear this wasn't in any way their fault they came on at the time they were supposed to and everything turned out fine it was just. concerts in rome in the middle of july are.........something
• BUT ANYWAY after hours of us slowly decomposing it was finally time for am!!!!!!!!!
• they opened with sculptures and honestly THANK GOD because (maybe unpopular opinion? idk idc argue with the wall) that is just how it should be. not a big fan of brianstorm as an opener
• alex introduced teddy picker by saying "haven't you heard? teddy is back!"
• he also introduced the view with "let's go back to the very beginning" at which my heard did a bit of a !!!!
• after the view and before 4/5 he randomly went "feeling professional... 🎶 tonight 🎶
• he was feeling sooooo silly the whole show (<3) but he really went crazy with the spoken antics during 4/5
• he clapped his hands as he sang "with coloured old grey whistle test👏 lights👏" which weirdly scratched something just right in my brain
• "and that's unheard of... here in roma or anywhere else for that matter... nobody's done that!"
• he changed the lyrics and went "the only time that I stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss" and then proceeded to send a kiss to the crowd
• "four stars out of five... why don't you put that in your [pile]? / four stars out of five... ten times out of nine"
• "four stars out of five... that's right... that's why i like it! 😜" at the very end, said in the most adorable tee-hee way i can't even begin to describe it
• the piano interlude before high was sprinkled with the saddest series of "why... why... why..." ever uttered by man 💔
• after high he said " fantastic! ... what a night"
• "i wanna tell you about a girl that i made up... 💁♂️ ages ago 💁♂️" as an introduction to arabella
• i'm sure you've seen the video going around but during arabella he noticed a fan was (i think?) crying and asked "are you okay?" before resuming his singing
• "the horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes...... ‼️RRRRRRROMAAAAAAA‼️......... as arabella"
• after the song ended he thanked the crowd by going "good work everyone... jolly good. grazie"
• he thanked the crowd a lot, said grazie/grazie mille a lot, and frequently said roma instead of rome (idk why i found that cute but yeah <3) and his way of rolling his r's when speaking italian was just too adorable i wanted to put him in a blender and drink him as a smoothie
• the version of do me a favour that they've been playing lately sounds slightly softer than the original and i'm all for it. it amplifies the vibe of exhausted resignation that lingers in the lyrics and it just sounds so devastating i love it
• he lifted the mic stand during the song + pretended to break something in half during the "to start to break in half" line and yeah. that was also what he was doing to my heart
• no he did not have a mullet he just arranged his hair in a way that made it seem like it for a split moment. why did i see people on twitter hoping for the mullet........DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS
• "tremendous.... thank you 💅"
• also about that rumour going around of him pointing at louise during the "may i call you her name" - he literally acted out the whole line, pointed to himself, then at a random hypothetical you, then sidestage; he was not pointing at anyone specifically + why would anyone want that song dedicated to them lmao like. did the people saying it's romantic read the lyrics or
• also you know who else was in the general direction of him pointing? that's right everybody. mr jamie cook himself. maybe he uses he/she pronouns and alex wants to call someone jamie's name. have you considered that
• okay i'm sorry enough with the bullshit
• he said something during cornerstone and right before dancefloor that i caught on video but i can't really understand what he says so i'll probably end up posting those bits to see if we can figure out wtf he was on about
• "crawling back to you..... ‼️OH‼️ ever thought of calling when you've had a few"
• "🎶 ~rooomaaaaa~ 🎶.... thank you for having us everybody, what a beautiful audience.... soooo predictable i knowwww what you're thinkiiiing"
• he was so obsessed with crooning "roma" every chance he got <3 the silly <3333
• "lone ranger riding through an open space... THANKS A LOT in my mind when she's not right there beside me"
• now a list of random things he does at nearly every show that i still found very endearing:
- the "squeezed me very tightly" bit which is always so 💞💞💞
- "NO! you can't call me her name" with the NO said in the most 'child throwing a tantrum but make it cute' way
- the way he directed matt during the mirrorball intro and matt going 'y'all hear sumn?'
- "5......0......5......"
- him swaying his hips in a way that made everyone's knees buckle in a 10-mile radius
• about the interactions with the others: he didn't interact with them that much, i think he didn't even scissor with jamie during the body paint outro :( BUT we got the directing matt bit before mirrorball + a shout out to tom rowley
• i think in paris i noticed it less because i was seated, or maybe i just noticed it in a different way because i got some different songs (star treatment with the green/purple lights, pretty visitors with the red ones), but still - the lights are incredible and the fact that they create different lighting games for each song (like the blue ones for body paint or the golden ones for am songs) is so cool and fascinating i was mesmerised
• about the crowd: i made the mistake of getting into a telegram group of people who were going to see them and most of them were such casual fans they even believed the fake setlist that was going around a while ago as a joke on twitter 😭 the one with songs like the jeweller's hands. my brother in christ that's never going to happen
there were people going like "if they play r u mine i'm gonna die" and like bruh i appreciate the naivety but it's so painfully obvious they're gonna play it at least have a bit of creativity with your wishful thinking 😔
generally speaking the crowd was really REALLY hyped for am classics and wpsia/fwn oldies, while they were mostly completely dead during the car tracks it was disappointing to say the least. once again i was the only one popping my pussy
• BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS. i was so fucking scared they wouldn't play cornerstone and perfect sense but mostly the latter bc it's much less likely to be played... and it meant so much to me to hear them live, i didn't get either of them at the paris show so i just. ugh. they're in my top 5 am songs if not my absolute favourites and they just mean so much i fucking needed to hear them
• AND THEY PLAYED THEM BOTH. they did it for ME. cornerstone had me so emotional and i'm not joking when i say perfect sense had me ugly sobbing while singing along
• i just. i love that song so much. he just looked so small on that stage singing such vulnerable lyrics, and even tho the crowd was mostly dead (rude if you ask me) he still finished the song by sending a kiss and saying the nth "grazie mille" and i just wanted to hug him so bad i was literally devastated i love him so much
• we also got the jet skis/star treatment/iwby mashup!!!!! most of the tiktok fans had no idea what was happening and kept singing the original lyrics while i once again popped my pussy rapping along with him. i'm so glad he decided to do it and i got to hear it live!!!! it just sounds so damn good ugh
• the setlist as a whole was everything i could've wished for i was so satisfied with it
• the show ended with him sending and catching kisses and just smiling so much i just wanted to tear him to pieces what who said that
• as usual they all sounded and looked INCREDIBLE and alex was just.......... ugh. the most gorgeous of boys. he's so beautiful it makes me SICK. the crowd was literally hypnotised by him, his charm and stage presence is CRAZY and everyone just can't help but stare at him in awe and reverence because his aura is just something else. no one does it like him fr. leaves me speechless every single time
• they're all so fucking beautiful and talented and seeing them feels like a fucking out-of-body experience every single time
• i miss them like air I MISS HIM LIKE AIR....... the pcd is hitting hard and i honestly have no idea wtf i'm gonna do with myself once tour is over and they yeet themselves out of the public scene for god knows how long i don't even want to think about it
• long story short i love them so much it literally hurts it's not even funny and i already want to see them again </3
• also bonus: after the show ended there was a HUGE traffic jam due to the fact that 35k people were trying to leave the place all at once SO we spent the next two hours (TWO HOURS) stuck in the parking lot exhausted dirty sweaty and still dying in the heat bc it was literally 1am but it was still so hot it was hell. then danza kuduro came on the radio and it was so random that was the last straw to send me k.o. for good
• overall crazy experience but yeah i love them so much i want to see them again sooooo bad </3 PLEASE COME BACK </3333
• so yeah that was my experience at rock in roma i hope you enjoyed my ramblings xx
#THIS IS SO MESSY IM SORRY IM SLOWLY LOSING MY MIND.................#arctic monkeys#rock in roma#the car tour#my show
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"Halloween Bash" pt. 2
S.H. x Female Reader
Summary: You and Steve drop Dustin off at the snowball which leads to the mention of past lies and a revealing truth
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: st2 spoilers, best friends to lovers, sweet Dustin boi, swearing, mutual pining
Additional Notes: thank you all so much for all the love and support on the first parter to to this! I hope you all enjoy this second part as well! I kinda lost inspo halfway through writing this but tried to give it my all. Likes, comments, and reshares are always appreciated :)
Pt. 1 is linked here! :)
Tags: @onlylauraa @makepastanotwar13 @pagesfalling @loulou0101 @mrsjaderogers @frostandflamesfanfic @my-tin-can-mans @asmilinghopefullromantic
It had been two months since Tina's Halloween Bash incident and you weren't really sure where Steve had gone.
After Halloween night he had separated himself from you, not picking up any of your phone calls for almost over a week straight. He was never home either. It worried you, but you wanted to remain positive. Maybe he had gone on a spontaneous road trip with his family? Who knew?
You were worried.
Then at some point around one in the morning on November 8th, he had come knocking on your bedroom window and when you opened it, he seemed so relieved to see you.
The male hugged you tightly and you had never been more happy to hug him than in that moment. You didn't ask where he had gone, only glad that he had returned and was safe. You of course lectured him on not stating that he would be gone for a period of time and to not panic as you had been panicking all week.
He apologized, and the longer you looked at him, the more you noticed how he had seemed to have changed. Steve was different somehow. More nervous, more anxious now that he had seen you.
Almost as if something could have happened to you. It was strange yet you hugged him once more anyway.
Now as the colder season approached, you sat in the backseat of Steve's car, listening to him as he hyped up Dustin, one of the kids you had grown to love.
"Now you're gonna go in there."
"Yeah." Dustin nodded.
"You look like a million bucks." Steve continued to boost Dustin's confidence, your eyes focused on the head of hair Dustin had.
It was different than his normal curly hair, almost as though he had taken inspiration from Steve's hair and tried to make it his own.
"Yeah!" Dustin agreed, nodding once again. "And you're gonna slay 'em dead." Steve promised.
"Like a lion." Dustin then proceeded to purr with a grin on his face. You couldn't help but smile, always finding it a bit silly when he did that but also rather cute for his age. Steve, however, winced a bit.
"Yeah..don't do that, okay?" He asked, causing Dustin's smile to fall. "Okay."
Steve then held his hand out to Dustin, the boy shaking his hand as goodbye. "Be safe in there, and good luck." You told him, placing a small kiss to the boy's cheek. Dustin smiled a bit and nodded. "Yeah, good luck kid."
"I will and thanks." He nodded again before turning and removing his seat belt. He then opened the car door, and made his way out. Once he shut the door and began walking in, Steve rolled down the backseat window so you could also watch him walk inside.
"It's like sending our kid off to school," You joked, making him chuckle a bit. The both of you watched as Dustin turned his ticket into his science teacher and picked up a conversation, making you smile. Looking over at Steve you expected to see him smiling proudly as well, but he wasn't.
His face had contorted into one of slight hurt and sadness, making you confused. You looked back to where Dustin was, only to see the real problem. Behind the door that led into the gymnasium was Nancy Wheeler.
"Still hurts?" You asked, crawling into the front passenger seat. Once you were situated, the male nodded. "I still love her, but not really in the same way anymore." He shrugged his shoulders, making you arch an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, beforehand I loved her and wanted to really be with her. Now it's somehow turned itself into a friendly sort of love. I just want her to be okay." He sighed, and his answer made you smile.
"I'm proud of you Steve." You told him, the male smiling a bit in return. "Did you think I'd be miserable forever?" He questioned which made you laugh. "No, I'm just glad you managed to figure that out on your own."
"God knows how many times I had to step in when you couldn't dump a girl or tell her things weren't working out. I think I've gotten most of the Hawkins High females to somehow hate me yet love you still." While it was a joke, it was somewhat true. Anytime Steve had been too much of a high horse to break up with a girl, you'd have to do it for him. He finally was off the whole King Steve thing.
"Yeah that won't happen anymore." He promised, though you didn't really believe him. "Yeah sure, who's next on your list? Am I gonna have to start helping girls develop feelings for you now too?" You teased, making Steve chuckle.
"No, I uh..I think I can handle this one." He spoke, your playful manner quickly dying.
"Wait, you already have eyes on another girl?" You questioned, your chest tightening a bit from the sudden painful news.
"Yeah, I've actually had my eyes on her for a while. Before Nancy actually, but then Nancy came into the picture so I figured it would be easier with her." He shrugged, glancing inside the middle school one last time to make sure Dustin got in okay before driving off.
"And you've never mentioned her to me before?" You asked, now slightly offended at having never been told about your best friend's secret crush. Your mind was spinning, going through a flip book of names. "It's not Tammy Thompson is it?" You questioned, nose wrinkling up in disgust.
"No, no, it's not Tammy. She sounds like a muppet when she sings." He huffed, the comment making you giggle. The longer you tried to figure it out, the more lost in thought you became.
Steve glanced over at you, smiling softly because of your confused expression. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to tell you because this was more entertaining for him.
He enjoyed the way your eyebrows scrunched together when you were stuck trying to figure out the answer to something; it made him enjoy keeping it from you even more.
You were beginning to give up, a small whine leaving your mouth. "Oh come on, Stevie you know I'm not good at guessing." You frowned, making him laugh again.
"I know you aren't. Thats what makes this so fun." He stuck his tongue out at you, making you huff a bit. "Harrington, don't test me." You playfully warned, waving a finger at him.
He raised a hand up in surrender, keeping his eyes on the road. "Wouldn't dream of it, babe." The nickname while commonly used still made your heart flutter. You tried to calm yourself by thinking of any other girl that would have Steve's eyes, going through the years of highschool.
"Who was that one girl in Ms. Click's class? Robin I think her name was?" You questioned and Steve shrugged his shoulders as he turned on the radio. The beginning to the song "Keep on Loving You" by REO Speedwagon played, almost a little too fitting to the conversation. "Don't know her." Steve mentioned, making you nod a little.
"Well its obviously not Carol Perkins. She and Tommy are still a thing, number one. Number two, she was down right just a bitch." You didn't have too great of a past with Carol, a past you didn't really want Steve to know about as he used to be friends with her.
"Definitely not Carol Perkins. It's not Heather Holloway either." He practically read your mind. "God, Steve! You've associated with so many chicks these past four years, how am I supposed to guess who this girl is?" You asked as he pulled up to his house.
When the car was put into park, he turned to face you, smiling softly. Confused, you arched an eyebrow at him and faced him as well. "Steve?" You questioned, unsure if he had something to say.
His eyes shifted to your lips for a moment, making you suddenly nervous. You subconsciously licked your lips, a soft smile forming on your face as you figured he was just being a goof as usual. "Steve, what's up? Have you finally caved and are gonna tell me who it is?" You questioned, meeting his eyes.
"Yeah," He let out a small breath before nodding his head up and down. "Yeah, I'll tell you." He swallowed harshly, hands fidgeting as they moved from the steering wheel and now rested in his lap. "But I have to tell you something else first." Steve practically teased you, yet you let him tell you what he had to say anyway.
"Fine, what is it that you have to tell me?" You asked him, relaxing your shoulder into the cushioned seat of the car. Steve seemed hesitant to tell you, but ultimately took a deep breath and asked, "Do you remember Halloween night?"
You sighed softly, figuring he was going to apologize for the millionth time. "Steve—"
"Do you?" He asked softly, your eyebrows furrowing as you weren't sure what he was getting at. "Yes, I do. I remember the whole night." You promised him, tilting your head slightly as you took in his figure.
Steve seemed nervous, rubbing his hands on his jeans before running his fingers through his hair. "Okay, good. Good."
You couldn't help but giggle a bit. "Is that all?" You knew it wasn't, but it was clear he needed a little assistance in getting out what he had to say. "No, um, I had a confession I wanted to make."
His words caused your smile to slowly fall, your heart beginning to beat a little faster. What could he possibly have to confess about Halloween? Was it something involving Nancy?
"Y/N," He began, "I know I kissed you."
Your stomach dropped. "What?" You blinked a few times as you weren't even sure you heard him correctly.
"That night? I was drunk, but I know what happened. I kissed you, and I'm so sorry." He apologized, making you shake your head. "You have nothing to apologize for. Why are you even apologizing, Steve?" You asked, seeing as that was literally two months ago.
The high school senior's lips parted, and yet no words left his mouth. After a moment, you called his name.
"Steve."
"I wanted to apologize for kissing you that night. And I'm apologizing now because I want to kiss you again."
At first, you thought it had been a joke. Payback for Halloween was what you assumed. And yet it was very real. Steve's cheeks were flushed from embarrassment, his eyes frantically searching yours for some sort of sign of comprehension to what he had told you.
Slowly, you reached forward and grabbed Steve's hands. "Steve, listen." It was clear that just from those two words, Steve began to panic. He was worried you didn't feel that way too. "Halloween night wasn't just you. You may have initiated the kiss but I didn't necessarily stop it right away." You admitted, eyes focused on his hands.
It was hard to confess that while looking him in the eye. "Why not?" He asked nervously, making you smile. "Because I've been in love with you for a while Harrington." Your eyes finally met, and a smile was quick to grow on his face. "Really?" He asked, making you nod shyly.
"Thank god," He leaned forward, hands stretching outward to cup your face in them. Once he had, he met you halfway and pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was slow and gentle, despite the adrenaline boost you both had gotten beforehand.
It was like a dream. If it was, you never wanted to wake up. Your hands slowly inched their way up and around his neck, leaning into him as the kiss continued into multiple passionate ones.
"Steve," You mumbled against his lips, making him groan softly. "God, I really do love it when you say my name." He mentioned, making you tense suddenly. Slowly, you pulled away from the kiss and gave him a confused look.
It wasn't the first time you heard those words leave his mouth.
"Exactly how much of Halloween do you remember?" You asked him, making him chuckle a bit. "All of it?" He seemed nervous to tell you.
Your cheeks burned from embarrassment, you quickly hiding your face in your hands. His hands moved to your arms which he rubbed sympathetically. "Oh my God, you mean to tell me that for the last two months you've known I had feelings for you?" You questioned, Steve shrugging his shoulders.
"I was worried it wasn't true." He admitted, making you sigh and reveal your face once again. "Steve, you make me so frustrated sometimes." You couldn't help but laugh a bit in shock from the whole ordeal. He chuckled as well before gently intertwining your hands.
"I know." Was all he said before you both leaned in again. As you kissed, you felt completely and entirely whole. Nothing could ruin this chance you had with Steve. No one could, not even Nancy.
Once you both parted for air, Steve continued to grin like a fool. "What do you say we go inside and watch some Christmas movies?" He asked, your smile matching his own.
"How could I possibly say no?" You questioned, unbuckling your seatbelt. "Y/N?" Steve asked as you both exited the car, you looking over to him as you shut the car door.
"Yeah?" You let out a small breath, a cloud of air revealing itself on the chilly and snowy night.
"I love you."
Steve had never said that before. Not to you anyway. By the puppy dog look on his face, you knew it was a true statement.
"I love you too." You told him, sprinting over before hugging him tightly. He brought you into his arms, holding you just as close.
The ground beneath you both didn't seem to support the hug as Steve began to slip and slide a bit on the thin sheet of ice that covered his driveway. "You okay?" You giggled before screaming as you both ended up falling into the snow covered lawn.
Looking to each other, you proceeded to bust out laughing and stayed laying in the snow for a bit longer to simply enjoy the moment together.
"You're such a dork." You giggled, leaning in to press your lips against his. He pressed your body closer to his, practically melting under your touch.
"I'm your dork." He corrected you, gently brushing your hair out of your face. It was like you were living life inside a holiday romance movie.
And honestly? It's a movie you'll never forget.
THE END.
#steve harrington fluff#stranger things x reader#stranger things imagine#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington fandom#x reader fanfiction#fanfic
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I can't stress enough how sad I am i cant read your works for the first time again. Like yes I can reread them but it's not the SAME. The feelings are still allover the place but there was just something special about reading it all for the first time qwq
I can't even explain how hyped I get with new starlist updates AHHDKSNDM your writing is literally so stunning and with all your attention to details in your works I swear I could die happy reading the things you wrote. It might seem like much but I find you as a writer I admire a lot and I really wish I could write as well as you one day. Also can not wait for any future projects of yours that might cOME!! be it a new fanfic or even a written book you once mentioned bc I know I would enjoy every word of it.
BUT NOW TO RANT ABOUT THE CHAOTER BC I HAVENT SENT A SINGLE ASK EVER SINCE STARLOST STARTED COMING OUT AHHH I got- so unnaturally and absurdly happy when yeonjun showed up and I love love love his relationship with y/n already even if we saw a small glimpse of it. Also. Miss hana 😐 I really have no words left for her 😐 she's acting like a very very very bad friend and I hate that 😐 y/n deserves so much better istg she really needs to have a real one to one talk to hana about everything bc I feel like she's trying to somehow control her LIFE- I swear, the part where she said she had to cut off al contact with yeonjun, her best friend, bc hana said so- I was 😀😀😀 SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM TOO!!!
And ever since someone pointed it out in your asks, I keep noticing more and more his hyunjin always said he 'had' to go get dinner with hana. Kinda made me snicker heheh- but they're tHROUGH- And I'm 78% sure hyunjin told her he wasn't ready to date to let her down slowly or something like that bUT NOW WE CAN FOCUS MORE ON THE GROWING RELATIONSHIP OF Y/N AND HYUNJIN AND IM SO EXCITED FOR IT!!! ALSO I CANT WAIT TO SEE LIX'S REACTION TO THEIR GIFT AHHH
God this ask got so long I am so sorry
hi !! ahh what ?? thats the sweetest compliment ever. i say that in terms of my favorite books and shows so to know that you want to read it for the first time makes me feel so grateful !
im so glad i inspire you 😭 it all comes with practice and im sure you’re an amazing writer <3
all your opinions on hana are shared with my readers, don’t worry 😭 she can be a very bad friend indeed, especially when asking her to stop talking to yeonjun :( unfortunately that kind of stuff happens so much with people i know, it sucks !!
its definitely possible hyunjin said that to hana to let her down easy, but we’ll see as the story progresses :)
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"You...you do realise I base my new outfits off of you, right Big Red?" Yvonne asks, eyeing him, "The red to match your mask, the tears and rips for that spikey shell of yours; the tough initial look...but the use of softer materials because you're actually a big cuddly teddy bear?" She explains her reasoning, "I uh, suppose that's a long way of telling you you're my inspiration Raphie~"
| Muse interaction
Raph liked looking at all the stuff Yvoone made, she wanted to show off some new outfit she finished, even if Raph didn't well know or undersatand a single thing about fashion he tried. He found some magazines to read you know when he would stop dozing off every time he tried to. But he swears on his family name one day he’ll get past one paragraph and then clearly he’ll be far more useful to his girl. Grinning proudly to himself over that until then least he could do was hype her work right? Yeah he knows he an’t pinpoint a stitch or how the fabric was cut like Donnie can. Raphael wasn’t all to sure if that was impressive or scary either, no wonder Don’s head was so big he truly had a lot going on in it. The snapper started to hum in thought over that a second no wonder Donnie was the way he was had all these thoughts in his head compared to Raph who had far less, you know if you don’t punt every waking second he spent worrying about literally everything.
So lost in his thoughts he kind of zoned out when Yvonne was talking to him, she seemed excited to share another design with him that she finished. Despite his concerns though he did still smile brightly both hands held up to give her a double thumbs up. “Look amazing babe!” He boasts out. He did always mean it at least and he just hopes she knows that at least even if he can’t properly appreciate her hard work in the least he could tell her how amazing she was for being able to do it in the first place. “I think ya got another top tier outfit Von, it’s no wonder you seem to get business here I mean I bet the yokai here lose thier shit when you tell them you made you outfits yerself and all.” He smiles proudly as he hypes her. Hey that had to be the case Yvonne was just so talented, and so creative! She made all kind of stuff like her teddy bear bag, well and his teddy bear bag. Since she was nice enough to make one for him too after seeing how much he liked hers. How could he pass up on that he loved stuff bears toys and still collected them.
Uh? It never crossed his mind before but why was it a teddy bear bag? Blinking a bit as he looked back to the current look she was still talking about. Quirking his beak, as he slightly shifted the lower half back and forth. Teeth grinder a little when it did it, damn it that was bad habit of his still. He turned he attention away from her and started t look around her shop a moment. She didn’t seem to stick to one style but a lot of her outfits seemed to share stuff in common now that he finally starting to take noticed of it. But mostly what she worse seemed to have tears and red? That was a style right? Or maybe he can impress her a bit recalling something he saw on a few covers of magazines before. "Course you always pull of thst uh rocker punk look?" He question okay so he wasn't that confident in his answer but still he made an attempt at least! "Hey is that like your favorite look or somethin?" He asks tilting his head to the side now "I njust notice that yous always kind of seem to got with a certain look I mean it looks great of course but I knkw fashion says peps got a style preference is that yours?"
"You...you do realise I base my new outfits off of you, right Big Red?"
Yvonne asked, suddenly.
If the expression wasn't enough his lack of an answer should be. "Wait what do you mean? Nothing you wear looking like my ninja gear?" He suddenly asks as if that would be what she meant. Luckily she was ready to answer that.
"The red to match your mask, the tears and rips for that spikey shell of yours; the tough initial look...but the use of softer materials because you're actually a big cuddly teddy bear?"
The last bit git him to blush a bit, only she got away with pointing out he was in truth a major softie under the rough and tough get up.
"I uh, suppose that's a long way of telling you you're my inspiration Raphie~"
And that blush gre darker "I I uh oh heh t that so?" Okay suddenly words were all lost and he coudltn recall how talking worked. Slightly smiling to himself as he rubbed at the back if his neck. "Now I feel like my compliments might not mean as much if your making your outfits match to me." He jokes a bit attempting to cool off from the sudden bit if flattering from her comment.
#muse| hamato donatello#madamkezzie#aflockoffeathers#[ ones trash is anothers treasure aflockoffeathers]#muse interactions#stay queued
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Hidden Truth
Since I’m leaving for a few days (and I’m also very inpatient), here is the story! Tada.
(I hope the basics of this AU are somewhat understandable throughout the story, because I have planned more stories for this AU and giving you some extra information may give away what’s about to come.)
Have fun reading!
- - - - - -
It’s rare to see an angel’s wings.
This has been common knowledge since people knew about the existence of angels. They would always hide their wings and their halos. Their halos were simply too bright to look at; people would go blind. And their wings were too fragile to be even seen by a person. The wings of an angel tell you a lot about them. The more black feathers they have, the more they have sinned. The more feathers they have lost, the more they got hurt. A bigger and more noble pair of wings meant that the angel was higher ranked. This of course did not mean that an eminent angel’s wings could not have black, broken or lost feathers. Some with the brightest, shiniest, almost golden feathers have the deep-darkest black feathers. The more elevated the angel is, the more frivolous they are as a demon. A good angel makes a bad demon.
While people know that angels exist and walk among them, it is difficult to spot one. Unless they decide that someone is worthy, they will hide their identity.
It seemed like Shane was finally selected to see an angel’s wings, although he wished the circumstances were different. He really wished that Ryan wasn’t risking his life right now, and therefore had to get rid of his cover. And he really wished he wouldn’t have to do this next.
They have been discussing new haunted locations for BuzzFeed Unsolved. It turned out that constantly finding new locations that were somewhat easy to reach was getting harder the longer you’ve done this and the more sets you have already visited. So, they needed more money to be able to travel further away and visit more places. The problem was, in a capitalist state, big companies don’t like giving away their money.
Shane leaned back in his chair, yawning, listening to what the others had to say. He never understood the concept of capitalism. Why would someone assign a certain amount of value to something? Or just the whole concept of money. Who the fuck looked at a piece of paper and thought to themselves “I shall now exchange this for food! And everyone will follow my example!” But, then again, it wasn’t his problem. All he had to do was to adapt to those rules and act like they were normal, and he would be fine. Dare he said, he was quite good at acting human. Sure, sometimes he did not quite fit in, but he tried his best, and apparently, it worked. Most people just thought he was weird, which was good enough for him. No one really questioned him and his actions in a serious matter and that’s all he wanted.
However, there was one thing bothering him. It was the people accusing him of being a demon. When he first read one of these theories, he thought he was in serious trouble and that people really did find out that, well, he was a demon. He ignored those comments at first, but at the same time, Ryan started acting differently around him as well. It wasn’t anything grave, it was just like he was more observant and careful around him. Shane was pretty sure he just imagined this because he was more observant and careful and projected this onto his friend as well, but it didn’t really matter now. He eventually found out that those people were just joking and making fun of his strange behaviour, and everything was fine again. After all, anyone finding out that he was not as human as he pretended to be, could lead up to some serious problems. But Shane didn’t like to think about this. Or anything regarding his spiritual friends and foes in general. He liked being left alone in the human world. Things were easier here, and more fun. A lot of demons ridiculed him for this point of view, but he didn’t listen to them. Different beings like different things, and Shane definitely enjoyed a calm and peaceful life on Earth.
… Okay, he couldn’t deny that he also missed being surrounded by demons. Not enough to actually go back to hell, but enough to have spent some nights thinking about the what if’s. Luckily his good old friend Ryan Bergara offered him a chance to connect those things without knowing about it. They could be paranormal investigators. Perfect. And the people loved it! Really, he could not have wished for more.
It was dangerous at times, yes. Sometimes he had annoyed a ghoul too much in the past and now he had to be careful to not give this spirit the opportunity to show the world who, or what he really was. Sometimes a demon simply could not stand him. And some just thought it would be funny to mess with him. Thinking about it again, most investigations went like this. Actually, he couldn’t recall a single session which did not go like this. He really didn’t have any friends in hell, did he? Ah well, it did not matter anyway.
Back to the topic. Finding new locations. Yeah. Sometimes it was annoying that he couldn’t use his abilities which would make things so much easier. In the blink of an eye this room could be filled with money. Or they could be right in front of a different building before they noticed that they have left the room. And with a bit more effort, Shane could bring the ghouls to them. But all of this would blow his cover, so they were stuck with the true devil’s work: bureaucracy. Unfortunately he wasn’t even in a position where he could let others do the work for him. And what was almost worse was the fact he had to be careful when he did use his powers to make things a bit… simpler. At least Ryan was there, too, and he wouldn’t have to do all the talking himself.
After a lot of arguing, convincing and evaluating, they were granted more money for trips. And with this bonus, they could start planning the next season.
That was a few weeks ago. Today, they were filming the season finale. Despite this, it was not like today was an unusual day. It was, in fact, quite usual. A very ordinary day. Apart from the demon hunting part. But that was nothing special as well. Hell, if only the people would know how many demons they have already walked past during their lives…
Shane had a tough time focusing. He honestly was somewhat uneasy. He… wasn’t on good terms with this demon. Messed a bit too much with the wrong guy. He hasn’t seen them in… a few hundred years, so maybe they have forgotten about him already. But Shane was afraid that this would not be the case, and that he maybe had to defend himself, which would not exactly help keep his cover up. Maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out okay nevertheless.
Surprisingly, for a demon they were well-behaved. They definitely had fun with Ryan and Shane, being one of the most active demons they’ve ever encountered, but they never went too far. Shane should be relieved. After all, they didn’t blow his cover. But this doubtless meant that they would let Shane suffer once they were alone. This was not exactly something worth looking forward to.
Which is why Shane decided to use this break for something useful and tried to find the demon. Maybe apologizing or making up for what happened in the past or something similar would make the solo investigations easier, and he would not have to delete half the footage before anyone could see it. Problem was, his time was limited. After all, this was just a short break to replace the batteries or check how much storage was left. This wasn’t enough time to hold a long conversation, talking about how everyone does stupid things when they’re younger and that others should be forgiving and not blow their covers. Shane really hoped no one would come looking for him, and if they did, not find him at an unfittingly time. He was confident that he could deal with this demon, but it would be very difficult to find a good explanation.
Much to his surprise, this plan did not seem to be one-sided. As soon as Shane left the room, he could feel a strong gust of wind which was clearly leading him somewhere. He had a bad feeling, but he didn’t have the time to reconsider his decisions. He did the one thing no one should ever do, and trusted the demon to lead him somewhere isolated, as it probably was not in their interest to get caught either.
As he was standing in front of a room, the wind suddenly stopped and instead, he could hear a voice whispering inaudible things to him. Nope, he really did not want to do this. But there really was no going back. So he entered the room.
“Hey there, old, uh… friend. Long time no see.”
He looked around the room, only being able to assume where his opponent was. A really annoying thing about demons was that they were able to merge with the shadows. In a dark room, just like the one Shane was standing it, this could mean they could be anywhere.
/What are you doing here, traitor?/
The voice seemed to be directly in his head, which made finding the source even more difficult. But it was an age-old trick and wouldn’t intimidate Shane one bit. It actually made him braver, knowing that the other demon was a coward who played with deceitful tricks.
“You’re here as well. Now show yourself. Or do ya want me to say mean things about you again?”
Shane made sure to put a lot of sarcasm in that last sentence, but the sudden pressure on his throat showed him that this may have been too much. Gee, demons sure didn’t know how to take a joke.
“Okay, okay, you can let me go again”, Shane quickly added, his voice a mere whisper. Talking was certainly not easy when you suddenly could not breathe anymore, but they had obviously understood Shane, as the pressure disappeared as fast as it had appeared.
“There was no need for that, really… Anyway, my buddy… can I ask you for a favour?”
He could basically hear the laughter echoing from the walls around him. Not to be a pessimist, but this would not end well.
/You? Why should I do anything for you?/
“Because we’re both demons, duh. And it’s about this whole” - Shane gestured around wildly - “ghost investigations thing. In short, please pretend you don’t know me.”
/That’s not hard, everytime someone mentions you I wish I didn’t know you./
“Yeah, haha, very funny, but this is serious. We’re filming this, and I can’t let anyone know that… I’m… a demon. A demon who knows you. But that’s not even really the problem, it’s more that it’s… my thing to mock all demons and ghosts and what-nots we encounter. The people think it’s entertaining. So if maybe you could keep your temper and not slam me against a wall, that’d be great.”
Then he saw how deep in the shadows, something started to shape. Firstly there were vague contours, it looked like the darkness was playing tricks on you, but then everything got more refined until you could make out the details. They definitely looked diferent than from what Shane remembered, which was not a good sign. And the way they moved towards him made it even worse. Oh, Madej, you’ve done it, you’re in trouble now.
Before he could do anything, he got slammed against one of the walls. “Ouch, ah, fuck dude… Okay, suggestion: We don’t fight, you leave me and my friends alone and we’ll act like this never happened! Sounds good to me.”
The demon scoffed at him, grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted him up. “And let this opportunity go to waste? You will pay for betraying us. What did you just call those pesky humans? ‘Your friends’? You seem to be forgetting whose side you’re on, traitor. You’re a hopeless case. Maybe ending you would be the right thing to do…”
Shane grabbed the demon’s hands. “Wouldn’t that be paradoxic? You keep calling me traitor, even though I never betrayed any of you guys, and now you’re the one wanting to do the right thing by killing me, which, by hell’s rules, is considered a crime.”
For a second his opponent stared at him slightly confused, then angrily, and just as Shane wanted to escape, he flew through the room, again. Did this dude have any other tricks, preferably less painful ones?! He needed this body, after all. Although Shane had to admit that he deserved it for provoking them. Force of habit.
“You’re going to hell with me.”
“Stop right there!”
Shane was sure that neither of them turned around because of what has been said - hell, even he did it out of a reflex, and not because he recognized this voice - but rather because a third person, who was standing in the doorway, said it, slightly out of breath. Shit.
“Ryan?”
“Shane, you need to leave, now.”
As if this situation wasn’t bad enough already. Why the fuck did Ryan have to be here now too? This only made things more complicated, fucking hell!
“Aw, look who’s here to save you, it’s your little human friend.”
The demon stepped towards Ryan, and Shane immediately stood up and grabbed the demon by their arms to hold them back. “Ryan, you should be the one to leave…”
Instead of looking intimidated or something else fitting his character, he was smirking. Wait a second. Ryan was clearly standing in front of a demon, - okay, technically two demons, but who cared about the details - and he was not freaking out? Who was this person and what did they do to the original Boogara?
“Trust me, I’ve got this.”
And next he pulled out a little water gun which Shane knew too well. It was his little holy water protection gun. Oh yeah, that could be very painful and therefore very effective. But even if he was weaponed, this wasn’t the right place for Ryan to be. It was too dangerous.
“Yeah, no, give it to me, I’ll do the rest”, Shane said while quickly walking past his demonic foe in order to grab the gun, but he ended up being the one held back this time.
“Don’t you dare think I’ll let you off the hook this easily”, they said, and then almost whispered to him: “If this is what I think it is, you will be the one in trouble.”
At least Ryan seemed confidient. Understandably, after all he was not the one who had to be afraid of holy water. “Nothing can hurt you, you need to trust me.”
“I would, Ryan, but, uh… I hate being wet. And I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t trust you with this gun. It’s too risqué if you’d ask me.”
Then the demon spoke again. “Oh, you should trust your friend. After all, nothing can happen to you.”
Shane could not see their grin, but he could clearly hear it. What an asshole. And what a god-awful, shitty situation in general. Ryan was pointing a watergun filled with holy water at him, not knowing that he was a demon and even one drop of this stuff would be incomprehensibly painful. And right behind him was a demon who apparently wanted to see him dead. Great. Fucking fantastic. How on fucking earth should he escape this?!
And then he had an idea.
Oh, please, god, if you haven’t already completely given up… let this work.
Shane mouthed a ‘I will count to three. One, two, three’, and to hopefully make his message more clear, he mimicked his words via facial expressions as well.
Ryan seemed to have understood at least something, because he slightly nodded while re-positioning himself.
Alright. Cool.
This could go wrong. Terribly wrong. So fucking wrong, holy shit…
But he trusted Ryan. He trusted him to not take any risks with this shot. After all, he did not have an endless supply of holy water and therefore had to be careful not to spend too much.
One last, deep breath, and here goes nothing.
Shane counted silently to three, blinking along, and then ducked.
The next thing he heard was the screams of the demon, who had let go of him and must have stumbled back. This was his opportunity.
Shane turned around to fight this demon, but Ryan was faster than him. He pushed him aside, quickly telling him to run, and jumped on the demon.
But Shane stared at him instead, paralyzed, because he just noticed something he’s never seen before.
Ryan completely focused on defeating that demon. So much, that his cover gave up and slowly, a pair of white wings and a halo appeared.
What the fuck.
So… Ryan was an angel. Okay. Cool. Fine. Whatever.
…
Holy fucking shit.
This was bullshit. What the fucking hell? How the fuck did he not notice that? How the fuck was that possible? That couldn’t- How the fuck- What the fuck- Fucking hell.
“You’re an angel”, Shane whispered subconciously, more to himself to make this situation a bit less bizarre. Which, of course, did not fucking work.
Ryan turned his head around. “What? Me? An ang-? I’m not-” Then Ryan realized that his… angelic features were visible.
“Okay, I-I’ll explain this afterwards.” And with that, Ryan focused on the demon again. Shane gulped, then waited a few seconds.
“You know what, Ryan? Leave him to me. I’m the one who’s in trouble with him.”
“No way, you can’t even defend yourself!”
“Trust me.”
Shane put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, who glanced at him shortly, and then longer.
“Black wings…”, Ryan whispered. Shane nodded.
“Leave, I will take over from now on.”
Ryan kept looking at him completely flabbergasted, but did leave the room. And Shane quickly took his demonic foe to hell and dropped them off there.
When he left the room, he wasn’t surprised to see Ryan waiting for him. It did caught him a bit off guard to see him still without his cover, though.
“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we.”
“You’re a demon! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well, why didn’t you tell me that you’re an angel?”
“Okay, well played. I, I just can’t believe this. How could we be friends for years without knowing this?”
Shane shrugged. “Guess we’re good at keeping secrets.”
While saying this, he took a closer look at Ryan’s wings. They did look fairly average, but the white of his wings was a quite beautiful shade. His feathers did not look damaged, but there were a few black feathers in between the rest.
Ryan put on a slight smile. “Yeah, you’re probably right… Well, we should go back to the others, I bet they’re really angry at us.”
Shane laughed. “Oh yeah, definitely.”
And as they were walking back, Shane saw how another feather turned black before Ryan could hide his wings again.
They were in trouble. But not only with their team.
#my writing#bf au#spiritual au#(this is not a good name ok i know. but hear me out. there are more stories to follow which wouldn't quite fit an angel/demon au name)#angel!ryan#ryan bergara#demon!shane#shane madej#(i swear this wasn't inspired by the GO hype)#(ok this is partly a lie)#(i've started writing it before watching GO)#(then i watched GO)#(and suddenly the story was finished)#oh hey look at me being able to write something without being inspired by q#... but by GO instead#god damn it#i tried making shane not too crowley-like but it was difficult when crowley is one of the only things constantly on my mind
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Hello! Hope you're doing good, here is an idea of a scenario or a oneshot your pick. What if reader was a famous criminal by their talents in robbing and they met Mr. Wolf or the gang in one of their heists and with the past of time reader joins the bad guys and develops a crush to Mr. Wolf.
lets go oneshot!!!! not my best work i must admit but i popped my god damn pussy for this oneshot damn it
hype + beast (mr wolf x gn! reader)
before u read: 2nd person pov, reader is partially inspired by hype by tokyo machine, webs fangirling moment, guns are mentioned and used but not lethally, swearing, semi enemies to lovers but in a less tense way??? idk how to explain that LMFAO
wolf would say that he didn't really run into people while he and the others were on a heist. well, other people like them, that is. because of the bad guys' reputation in the big city of metropolitan, no one ever dared to rival them on their turf. yeah, the bad guys never actually hurt people, but no one trusted them due to their species anyways.
it was like that until he and shark were attempting to rob some rich man's gala and they both spotted a sneaky figure creeping around in the shadows. wolf had noticed the glint in their hands and recognized it as the super expensive necklace the group of criminals were targeting.
"stay here, wait for my order." wolf patted his aquatic friend on the shoulder, before slipping through the crowd. he kept his eyes on the figure in the shadows, following them out of the main room of the gala and into the empty hallways that led to a less populated section of the mansion.
wolf cupped his mouth, "you know, you got a lot of nerve taking our target!" his voice echoed down the hall, alerting the figure and making them jump a foot in the air.
"jesus christ." they whispered under their breath, looking over their shoulder. still in the shadows, wolf could only make out that they were wearing dark green dress pants and a crisp white button up.
to wolf's shock, they didn't do anything but give him a once over before turning back around and continuing their trek down the hall. now mildly offended, wolf broke into a sprint after them, which prompted the crook to start running as well.
wolf was many things and one of them was an incredibly fast runner, so he had no doubt he'd catch up to their person and be able to take the necklace from their hands. but, the longer the chase had gone, with both parties moving to the far side of the mansion, long gone from the party, it had shown that that wouldn't be the case. this person was just as fast as wolf and they seemed pretty strategic as well, since every hall they turned into never led to a dead end.
wolf had seen a glimpse of them pulling a mask over their face in the darkness, but ignored it for the most part. he gasped when they pulled out a gun and turned around pointing it at him. "whoa, whoa, whoa! hold on now!" he stopped in his tracks instantly, barely seeing the figure in the moonlight.
a third surprise for the night was when they pointed the weapon upwards and that was when wolf noticed that it wasn't a gun, but a grappling hook, that latched up to the sunroof of the room. the glass shattered and the hook caught itself on the window's edge, forcing the thief upwards.
"hey!" now that he wasn't scared of dying via bullet, wolf was angry as he searched himself for his own handy grappling hook. fuck, he must've given it to piranha today. "fuck!"
now on the standing roof, the mask figure let out a few giggles, mocking poor wolf as he sneered up at them. they tilted their head and waved their fingers. in that moment, their head was far enough back that wolf could make out a neon green and sharp grin painted on their mask.
the bandit pulled out goggles from one of their pockets and turned away, putting on the eyewear and sprinting from the sunroof and out of sight.
wolf stood there in the glass covered room before grunting angrily and tuning into his earpiece. "mission's over. someone else took the necklace."
"what?" the enraged cry that came from webs made wolf wince and suck in air through his teeth. "wolf, you made me research this damn necklace for weeks--"
"yeah, i know, but this guy was good. they already had it by the time shark and i were in the ballroom." wolf began to make his wack back down the halls he and the other sprinted down, now looking for an exit. "they were fast and were prepared. i think they knew we were coming."
"eugh. i hate it when people know what our plans are." webs sighed. typing could be heard from her end. "got any descriptors? height, body type, gender? anything?"
"uhhh..." wolf drawled, still walking the maze of a home. "they were shorter than me... couldn't tell many other features, we were in the dark for the most part-- oh! their mask was all black and had a green smile painted on it. they also had goggles--"
"OH MY FUCKING GOD." webs shrieked, blowing out wolf and shark's ear pieces. both men winced and groaned at the spider. "sorry-- but-- it's just that the person you ran into is, like, really fucking famous."
that was news to wolf. "they are?" he had finally found an exit through the gardens and started his stroll towards the car he and the others took to get here.
shark let out a confused hum. "what? like crimson paw famous?"
"nearly!" webs sent messages to their heist group chat and wolf opened it. it was links to articles, all of them having photos of the masked crook he just had a run in with. "their name-- well, alias, is hype and they're one of the best criminals of our time. they're on snake's level of thievery. maybe higher!"
"hm." was all wolf said, staring at the blurry photo. behind the silver goggles, he could pick out shining eyes that crinkled happily at the person taking the photo. "well... i guess that's understandable. we probably wouldn't have gotten the necklace anyways if that's the case."
he then heard webs let out an almost dreamy sigh, something that made him freeze. he never heard a noise like that from the youngest. "god, i wanna meet them so bad. you're so lucky, wolf."
he smirked to himself, a bright idea popping into his mind. "ah, who knows? we might meet them again someday."
waking up to your 7am alarm, you groaned and rolled over. your hand smacked against your bedside table until the music stopped and momentarily, there was peace.
and then your phone began to buzz, a phone call coming in. you let out another groan, picking your head up from your pillows and snatching your phone to your ear. "h'lo?"
"hey, i was just wondering if you could come into the shop today and pick up miranda's shift." your manager, damian, grunted through the phone. you could heard shuffling on his end and some clicking noises. "miranda did some shit and now her parents are flipping out on her. she lost her car privileges, so she can't--"
"save me the sob story." you cut him off, voice scratchy. "what time do i need to be in by?"
"9am on the dot."
"alright, see you then." you hung up before he could finish and let out a long sigh, flopping back against your comfortable bed. fuck, you were so tired of having to work and keep up appearances of being a normal person. once those student loans were gone and your parents didn't have to worry about you, you were going to live as a criminal for the rest of your life.
for now, though, you had a shift at a certain flower shop you had to prepare for.
you took a shower and after dressing in the light green polo and brown khakis that were apart of you uniform, you only had a coffee and a breakfast sandwich before walking out of your comfortable but small apartment. hopefully, life on the run will give you a better home to live in.
the drive to the flower shop was always less than thirty minutes, so you had arrived at the large shop. seeing damian out front and water the plants, you gave him a wave as you parked on the street and shut off your car. "what's good, big d?"
"never call me that." he snarled, glaring at you. "i got flowers that need to be put into pots in the back."
"at least say please, princess." you joked, smiling wider when he gave you a heated stare. you decided then to walk inside the large store and past all the flowers to go clock in.
shifts at the flower shop were normally either extremely busy or extremely boring. today was a busy shift, thank god, as you spent a majority of it giving people bouquets or explaining the significance of every flower when asked. you taught some kids how to properly pot some seeds and let some of them leave the store with pretty pink roses.
once 9pm had hit, you and damian got to work cleaning up the shop as best as you could. you swept the dirt off of the linoleum flooring and mopped afterwards, ignoring how much of the dirt had gotten onto you. damian and you counted up the money from today and split it, with him patting your back.
"i knew i could count on you."
"shut up." you replied, still smiling as you watched him lock up the shop. "when's my next shift?"
"two days from now, same time. i'm not sure when miranda will be back so i'll just put you on her schedule entirely." yay, more money for you.
you both went your separate ways, going to your cars and driving away from your job. you let out a hearty yawn, twelve hours of work finally catching up to you.
working wasn't something you enjoyed, but then again, most people didn't like it either. still, you found more purpose when you were out stealing things as the criminal, hype. when you would successfully break in and out of places, irreplaceable items in your palms. it was so worthwhile to see social media pages and new sites blowing up at your recent successes. you liked the attention you got from how good you were and wouldn't mind having it constantly.
still, the anonymity you got from wearing a mask would be unmatched. it was nice to go out and get essentials still and you knew most other criminals wouldn't get that luxury.
like that wolf you saw last night. god, you almost forgot about him. he was so angry with you, pretty fast runner too. of course, you knew the ever famous bad guy from anywhere. you'd be dumb not to, since they were always robbing the bank around the corner from the flower shop. you had seen them a few times, but never as close as you did last night.
they must've been living the high life. all they needed to do was steal and in style, it was what you wanted. but, alas, here you were. driving home half awake because of your shitty college debt. damn it, you should've never gone to school.
eventually, you reached your apartment complex and sighed in relief, shutting your car off and grabbing your bag before going inside. god, you shouldn't have taken a shower this morning, you were tracking dirt everywhere.
going back up to your apartment, you unlocked the door and stomped inside, being mindful to take off your dusty shoes before moving into the kitchen. you set your bag down on your kitchen counter and began rooting around in it. let out a small "aha!" you found what you were looking for and pulled it out.
cocking back the pistol, you turned and aimed it at the five animals frozen in your living room. "i'll give you ten seconds to get to fuck out of my house."
the wolf spluttered, seeing the deadly glint in your eyes and your finger on the trigger, the gun's sights aimed on him. "woah-- hold on a second!"
"wow, they didn't even hesitate!" piranha gasped, already liking your unpredictable nature.
"look, we don't mean to alarm you--"
you cut wolf off with a scoff and an eyeroll. "yeah, doin' a real good job of that by breaking and entering."
"--okay, that's understandable, but we were just looking into your government file--"
"ah, stalking. great." you sarcastically muttered, expression turning angrier by the second. "i'm going to singlehandedly bury you all in a few seconds. i'm not saying it again. get. the. fuck. out."
this time, webs crawled forward, holding her hands high as to not set you off. "sorry for breaking in, but we had to know whether or not hype lived here. i assume you're hype?" she asked, eyes shining with admiration.
you looked down at her, mouth curling into a frown. "you obviously know the answer to that question. don't you hack government databases daily, little spider?"
wolf shuffled and you returned your gaze back to him, still having the gun trained on him. "well, after running into you last night and doing some of our own research, we realized how good of an asset you'd be." he explained, sweating a little. you were terrifying to him right now and had he known this would've gone like this, he wouldn't have ever considered coming to you.
"ah, sick. you guys need my skill set." you grumbled, looking over the five of them. "why not use your little reptilian pal here? isn't he a modern day houdini or some shit?"
"i'm flattered, sweetheart." snake droned, with a sarcastic smile that you felt compelled to return.
"alright, i like you." you told him, breaking your glare to nod at him. wolf and piranha looked at you like you were crazy while shark muttered something about "seeing double" and webs wilted a little. "no, for real, why?"
"i believe you'll have to ask her that." wolf pointed at webs, who now was pink in the face. she flinched when you fixed your steely gaze on her and stuttered.
"ah-- i mean-- you-- you just have been a super big figure in the crime scene and-- it's kinda cool to see a human criminal. you guys are pretty rare." she was right, most criminals in the past had been animals. "and-- i kinda really admire your work. the whole anonymous thing is really hard to pull off and i'm surprised that you've never been found out."
"that brings up my next question: how'd you figure out it was me?" feeling your will slowly dissolving from the adorably sincere spider, you decided to change the subject. "i've been keeping everything on the down low."
this time, webs perked up again and began to ramble. "well, you had a great track record of keeping out of camera's sights and finding hidden places to make your escape, but i tied together all of your crimes to the camera footages of the places you had been to--" and webs just kept going and going, growing out of breath the more excited she got.
you held up your other hand, silencing her immediately. she muttered an apology but you waved it off. "okay, i can tell that you don't have any shitty intentions, so i'll trust your judgement for now."
"oh, but when i tell the truth, i'm the untrustworthy one." fed up with wolf, you turned and fired three shots at his stomach area. three bb bullets bounced off of him and he let out a yelp, crumpling to the floor in pain.
the other four were terrified for a moment, but you let out a chuckle. "not a real gun, by the way. he'll be fine in a few minutes." you reassured them, setting the gun on the counter. "now, i'm covered in dirt and you all look hungry, so why don't i order in and we can talk this over some pizza?" no longer feeling threatened, you smiled at them.
"pfft, after you just fired three bullets into our boss's kidneys?" shark guffawed, "fuck yeah, i'm down for dinner!"
after wolf had licked his wounds (not literally) and you had gotten a quick shower in, all six of you sat in your tiny little living room and ate dinner together. right off the bat, you and snake were best friends, sharing the same sarcastic humor and same love for thieving. webs was another fast friend, but that was more in like an older sibling younger sibling way.
shark and piranha were alright, they both were a little too excitable for your taste, but they made funny jokes so it was easy for you to ignore that. wolf, on the other hand, pouted the entire dinner, angrily munching on his pizza as he watched you bond with his friends. you knew it was getting on his nerves but you couldn't really care less about how he felt. served him right for being a little bitch.
"i'm super curious," shark said after he finished wiping his mouth clean of pizza sauce, "why haven't you quit your day job?"
you shrugged, debating between telling them the truth or not. despite actually only getting to know them for less than an hour, they already were closer to you than most of the people you interacted with on a daily basis.
you settled for not saying the specifics. "my parents got money troubles, so i gotta stay on the grid until they're fine. it's gonna look suspicious if i become a famous criminal and i'm still shooting money back home."
surprisingly, snake nodded like he understood and wolf gave you an empathetic look from across the room. "well, we can help with that." wolf shrugged like it was nothing, making you freeze. he noticed immediately and smiled, "yeah. what if we help you pay off whatever they need? would you join us then?"
fuck, he was saying all the shit you wanted to hear. you looked away, trying to think about it. i mean, all you needed was the money and you literally could have the life of your dreams that you wanted.
you tapped your fingers against your leg. "if you can get the money to my parents in a way that won't get them in trouble, i'll be a part of this crew." you conceded, raising your eyebrows as shark, webs, and piranha cheered. snake and wolf gave you smiles and shared a look with one another.
it was only four days later that you got a call from a number you hadn't saved. you were chilling in the kitchen, waiting for the water in the pot to boil and decided to pick it up.
"h'lo?"
"your parents are going to call you in a few minutes." wolf's voice echoed on the other end, making you stand up instantly.
"what--?"
"tell them that you've been applying for loans and this one was given by the new governor because she's a friend of a friend." and then he hung up. you had pulled the phone back from your ear and jumped when your mom's contact came up.
when you answered, you heard her sniffling like she was crying. "baby, i don't know what you did, but you did it! we just got a check for your college funds from the government!" your stomach dropped and your jaw popped open as she blubbered. "it's enough to finish it off! where'd you even find something this good?"
"i-- eu-- i had connections." is what you settle with, walking to your couch with shaky legs and sitting down. holy fuck, they actually did it. just like they promised. "who-- uh, who called you?"
"some man who called himself mr. poodleton-- that's not what we're worrying about right now! honey, we're debtless! you can start building your credit like we told you to--" as she began to go and rant and rave about the new steps in your already adult life, you stared down at your floor in awe.
just like that, you were free.
you smiled, the widest smile you had ever had on your face in the last six or so years. finally, you would be living the life of your dreams. and you only had one last thing to do.
"hey, mom." you cut her off, standing up and rushing to your bedroom. you pulled out your suitcase and popped them open. "why don't you and dad use the money that you were saving up and take a vacation this week? maybe hawaii? panama? somewhere beach-y?"
"that's a great idea sweetheart!" she squealed. "i'll tell you when we buy the tickets, let me go tell your father this now!" and she hung up without saying goodbye.
works for you, you're shit at goodbyes anyways. and while your parents were off at some island somewhere in the world, you were severing the last of your ties to regular society. you called damian and told him something had come up that caused you to quit and you gave your landlord the last of your lease's payments, because she was a nice landlord. you sold your major furniture and made sure to cease your phone plan, as webs said she was going to give you a personalized one.
at the end of that week, the five bad guys came and helped you move the last of your things out of your apartment. and since they were going to be driving downtown, you decided to wear your hype gear on your face, the mask and the goggles.
people gawked when they noticed the six of you in one car. it sent the right message, judging by the double takes.
the bad guys got a new member and just like them, this one's just as good at being bad.
piranha and shark were insistent on celebrating the occasion once you were back at their home, so you sat down and let piranha sing feliz navidad to you (because he said it was like an early christmas gift to have you around) while you sliced open an ice cream cake. on the top of the cake was written "welcome to the bad guys, hype <3" in green frosting. shark began passing around champagne and that's when the celebration truly kicked off.
you laughed and talked the most you had in your entire life. criminal activities weren't something you'd ever find yourself bonding with someone over, but here you were, sharing your best heist stories with webs and snake. hell, you even found yourself happily chatting up wolf, who was especially eager to hear all about the tale of how you took the necklace before he and shark could.
the festivities lasted until the early morning hours and by then, everyone else had gone to their bedrooms. this had left you and wolf on the couch, still talking and sipping your drinks.
"so, how'd you get yourself out of that one?" he asked, pouring the last of the champagne into his glass.
you snorted and rolled your eyes. "how else do you think? i beat up the rich piece of shit and hid his body so his staff would panic looking for him more than the ring." you were confident with every word, a smug smile on your face that made wolf's eyes lock onto it.
he went quiet after chuckling and darted his eyes back to your own. "y'know, up until recently, i thought you were a major jackass." he admitted.
"oh, not surprising." you smirked. "most people hate me. i just don't have time for bumfuckery, my canine friend." you had taken off the mask but your goggles hung around your neck. wolf then realized how much he liked seeing you in your gear. "but i also thought you sucked dick until you paid off my debt. seriously, dude, you saved me so much time." you tone had begun to be sincere and wolf found his ears tilting backwards at it.
"eh, it's nothing." he tried to shrug off your thanks but you were determined.
your smile dropped and you glared at him. "maybe not to you but i had tens of thousands i had to account for. shit, i didn't even want the damn degree in the first place, and you saved me from actually having to use it."
he snickered, drinking his alcohol. "well, i think you would've been fine. you were, like, in the fifth of your class. i'm sure anyone in that field of work would've wanted you."
"and i would've wanted myself in a casket after year one." you grumbled, making him bark a laugh. you laughed with him, finding it easy to unwind with him. "i'm serious! you five made me a very happy criminal. i don't know how i could make it up to you."
he smiled mischievously and jokingly stated, "i dunno. maybe a kiss would suffice." he laughed afterwards, turning to you.
you were already crawling over and he had to do a double take. "whoa-- wait, it was a joke!" he spluttered, going pink in the face as you stopped less than a foot away on all fours.
"well, you asked for one!" you defended yourself, giving him the biggest smile he had seen on you. "i did say i wanted to make it up to you."
for once in his life, wolf was lost for words as you continued to move forward. he subconsciously leaned back on the couch as you moved to be on top of him, knees on either side of his hips. a part of him screamed at him to stop this from escalating but the rest of him could only focus on how right it felt for you two to be this close.
you leaned down, just enough so your nose would brush against his gently. "hey, tell me if you don't want this." you whispered, staring him dead in the eyes.
wolf felt like he had swallowed a frog when he croaked out, "please kiss me."
you laughed under your breath before pressing forward and kissing him, starting slowly to make sure he was comfortable with this. wolf's hands came up and wrapped around your back, pulling you closer. you fell to your forearms. holding yourself above wolf's head and continuing to kiss him.
he tilted his head, slipping his tongue past your lips and deepening the kiss with a soft groan. you felt yourself smiling into the kiss, mentally cooing at the man below you. when he wasn't being a little shit, he was pretty cute you had to admit.
and yeah, kissing him is probably going to muddy up your already muddy relationship, but that honestly didn't stop you. for now, all you cared about was getting more groans out of him.
when you ground your hips into his, he let out a louder groan and glared up at you, pulling back. "you're evil." he pouted.
you laughed. "yeah, i know."
#mr wolf x reader#mr. wolf x reader#reader insert#gn! reader#x reader#the bad guys x reader#polaris107#gender neutral reader
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if all the donghyucks disappeared from the world || l.dh [TEASER]
¤ pairings: lee donghyuck x reader
¤ synopsis: long story short, the devil has informed you that you were going to die soon. what better to do than start checking off the things written in your bucket list! unfortunately for you, the first thing that was written the god damn thing was 'get a boyfriend'. but luckily for you, lee donghyuck was a stranger you met at starbucks who wasn't one to say no to being asked out.
this was the story that made you wish all the lee donghyucks disappeared from the world.
¤ genre: fluff, comedy, angst, slowburn! highschool au! college au! strangers to lovers au! runaway au! hyuck is a year older than the reader au! mentions of alcohol!
¤ warnings: angst. swearing. financial issues. hyucks parents are assholes. abandonment issues. arguments. crying. mentions of death. fear of planes. (more to be added)
¤ wordcount for teaser: 500 words
¤ release date: tbd
¤ send an ask, dm or reply to this post to be added to the taglist!
¤ a/n: inspired by if cats disappeared from the world
You slapped a few slips of cash on the counter without even looking, patting Yeji’s shoulder to silently inform her to get your drink once it’s ready. Yeji let out an affirming hum, assuming you were probably going to the bathroom, too cooped up with texting her girlfriend to notice how you were walking towards the pretty boy you had spotted merely seconds ago. You shamelessly trotted over to the table the pretty boy with messy brown hair and slightly dark eyebags who was talking about some random bullcrap with his friend (whose back was facing you).
‘Just for me’ by pink pantheress blaring through the speakers of the cafe, encouraging you to continue with marching forward, similar to the sea creatures serenading Ariel and Prince Eric during the ‘Kiss The GIrl’ sequence on their little boat trip. However, this feels less dramatic considering you didn’t have Yeji or her girlfriend, Gwen, to hype you up like Flounder the fish or whatever the name that seagull from the little mermaid movie.
Beggars can’t be choosers, you suppose.
“Dude, you really need to stop skipping classes, I know you don’t even like anything to do with science but even the professor is worried,” the boy’s friend exclaimed, fidgeting with the frames of his glasses as the sun-kissed boy leaned back against his chair. “Mark, the other day I found out that the nearest pet store is selling hedgehogs at a discount. Hear me out, a pet hedgehog. An investment into my happiness,” the boy took a deep breath, putting his hands together in a pleading motion in a futile attempt to convince his friend.
“Dude, no,” the black haired boy responded with a shake of his head.
“Hey you, the guy with brown hair!” you called out, placing your palms on the table enthusiastically, completely ignoring the black haired boy who flinched at your sudden presence interrupting their conversation. “That is I, the boy with brown hair speaking. What do you need, girl who just came up to my table out of nowhere?” he nodded in slight confusion, going along with your nonsense by using the same enthusiastic tone you did. “Can you be my boyfriend?” you asked bluntly without an ounce of hesitation.
The black haired guy beside you dropped his jaw to the floor at your words, clearly baffled, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confused. Everything all at once. However, those emotions multiplied tenfold the moment he cocked his head to look back at his friend’s reaction, to his surprise, the sun-kissed boy visibly beamed like a ray of sunshine as he nodded eagerly as if his parents had just offered to buy him a lifetime supply of milk bingsu.
"Me?" He asked in disbelief, pointing a finger towards his chest in awe, only to receive a rapid nod from you. The boy let out a small laugh, shaking his head at how bizarre the situation was unfolding. And for a second, that black haired friend of his was convinced that he was going to turn you down. To be fair, it wasn't an everyday event that a stranger just walks up towards you and asked you out, who the hell would accept a random date with a stranger from Starbucks?
“Yeah sure! Can I have your number?” he exclaimed with an equally eager nod, unlocking his phone to open his contacts.
"My name's Donghyuck, by the way."
taglist: @neowritingsnet @neoturtles @nct-writers @ankathi-a @songchan @tyongishs @nuoyi-city @haesexual @fullsunic @frickyratz @elysianahhh @hello-yav @skuezk @ryu-naa @aehyei @cookiebutterisbomb @daegalfangirl @saeyeoniee @nshitae @thesunsfullmoon @shwizhies @skye-is-here @lebrookestore
#neowritingsnet#nct-writers#neoturtles#ankathia#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#nct angst#nct dream x you#nct u x reader#nct fluff#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 angst#nct 127 fluff#haechan fluff#nct haechan x reader#haechan x reader#haechan scenarios#donghyuck x reader#lee donghyuck x reader#nct donghyuck x reader#nct lee donghyuck x reader
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JY ; almost lovers
almost lovers answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering
pairings: sim jaeyun x gn!reader
genre: fluff, angst if you squint
words: roughly 1.4k
masterlist ⸺ series masterlist
~guides and warnings~
italics - reader speaking
bold - jake speaking
[enclosed] - interviewer speaking
italicized bold - both reader and jake speaking
[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)
heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink
warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking and swearing
i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
hello~ my name is jake!
and i'm (y/n)
and we're almost lovers
[you guys were invited here today as almost lovers for a fun little drinking game, you guys aware of that right?]
yes we were
[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]
yup!
i'll be drinking regardless if i answer or not btw
why?
it's free alcohol
[how long have you guys known each other?]
since middle school ??
yup, so like 6 or 7 years ?
[wouldn't you be childhood friends then?]
oh no, jake and i weren't friends
*jake laughs and (y/n) grins
we really weren't, we were just somehow always put in the same classes
classmates, that's literally just what we were
ah i got it, we just knew of each other's existence
yup that
*both laugh
[how did you guys became almost lovers then?]
oh it's the classic project partners thing
we became seatmates, and like for that whole school year almost every teacher assigned seatmates as partners
it's like they all collectively agreed to it
yeah so we just eventually got close and ,,,
chaos ?
chaos.
*both giggle because jake's giggle is contagious
[why didn't you guys get together?]
we were both cowards and dumb with feelings
and jake had to move back to australia
and i had to move back to australia
[so if jake didn't move, you guys could've been together?]
,,,, i honestly do not know
yeah same
jake was the popular dream guy, i wasn't even dating him back then but so many rumors spread
i'm sorry about that really
don't worry, it wasn't your fault
*you pat him on the head making him smile widely
[how about we start the q&a between you guys?]
yeah, let's go~
*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jake wins
okay! first question
*jake picks up a card and laughs in disbelief
why?
[do you still find me attractive?]
*(y/n) bursts out laughing
i don't know if i should be offended that you're laughing or what
no, because it's ridiculous!
whY?
jake i literally compliment and hype you up whenever we meet
*jake blushes
so yes i still do find you attractive because you ARE attractive.
*(y/n) smiles teasingly
*jake rolls his eyes
*(y/n) picks up a card
oh wow
[did you see ever yourself loving me?]
*jake takes a shot
you know that just makes you sus
it's not like you don't know the answer?!!
that's the point! i do know so you could've just answered instead of drinking
shut up *jake grumbles
*you take a shot to make him feel better
the answer is yes btw, i did see myself loving them
*(y/n) almost chokes
*jake laughs
it's different hearing it out loud
*jake g i g g l e s
just read the next question
[do you think it's my fault that we didn't become a couple?]
pffft-
i mean
yeah yeah, but for me i'm blaming australia
sure buddy.
*jake :O
but no i don't think it was your fault, like we said a while ago, even if you didn't move, we were still dumb with feelings and we probably would've prioritized our future than a relationship. it wasn't the right time i guess??
*jake nods in agreement
[sorry, was it ever clarified between you guys that you had feelings for each other?]
oh yeah! we knew about it
yeah bUT AFTER I CAME BACK FROM AUSTRALIA ???
*(y/n) laughs
we met up when he came back and i just went "oh did you know i liked you back then?" and then jake just -
*(y/n) can't finish the sentence because (y/n) remembers the scene perfectly and is laughing hard
*jake groans
thAT! he groaned like that and basically slammed his head on the table.
yeah and you gaped like a fish after i told you i liked you back then too!
*jake :P
*(y/n) :O
i did not
yes you did! you went *jake imitates a gaping fish
yah! *(y/n) hits jake's arm lightly
*both laugh
*(y/n) reads the card and takes a shot after
why are you drinking? i'm the one answering
i know, i just needed that shot to prepare myself
[do you still have feelings for me?]
*jake turns red and reaches for a shot
moving on-
i'm answering
*(y/n) error404 please restart
*both cannot look each other in the eye
i don't know honestly? i still am kind of dumb with feelings but the reason why i say i don't know is because i'm trying to make sure that what i'm feeling for (y/n) is real?? like i actually do like them and not with the feeling ??
*(y/n) nods understanding what he meant
because wouldn't that be unfair to (y/n) ? saying you have feelings for them when you aren't really sure? i don't want that, i don't want to hurt (y/n) in any way or form
*(y/n) downs a shot and covers their face in embarrassment
why~ ?
*(y/n) narrows their eyes at jake and just hands him the card to read
*jake laughs
okay let's go,
[do you still think about what could've been?]
goddammit
*(y/n) takes a shot
*jake is basically just laughing at everything at this point, but that's okay he's cute when he laughs
yes, i do. i think what plagued me the most were 'what if?' questions. when i see my friends getting into relationships or hearing them talk about someone they've been seeing. i would often ask like "what if we just had confessed earlier?" "what if you never moved?" "what if we actually got together?" things like that
but i think my hardest 'what if' was "what if we just tried?"
*please put jake in rice he is not working
*he raises his glass to do a cheers
here's to painful confusion !
and dumb feelings~
*both take a shot
[question for both: do you regret that you guys didn't get together?]
honestly, no? i feel like if we did, we would be two completely different people right now?
yeah, i like who i am and who you are right now, so i don't think i regret it either.
and we were shit at romantic feelings
we aren't kidding, we really were
i feel bad for everyone who had to witness that phase in our lives
rip
*both laugh
[freestyle! ask any question you want]
hmm,,
don't think too much
no <3
*(y/n) rolls their eyes
okay, okay, i have one
this better be good sim.
[you said a while ago that it wasn't the right time for us before. how about now? do you think we're finally at the right time?]
.........
*(y/n) is speechless
*(y/n) downs a shot
jake don't ask me out on television
*jake bursts out laughing
i don't know jake, you tell me, you're the one confused with feelings.
... .. ... .
*(y/n) realizes what they said
*jake literally 👁👄👁
,,,, what?
*(y/n) clears their throat
huh?
nu uh, what did you just say ??
i haven't said anything yet?? are you okay?
*(y/n) looks at the crew around them that were covering their mouths preventing laughs and squeals
you definitely said something that meant you have feelings for me!
i did not! you need to get your ears checked
*(y/n) is blushing and is avoiding jake's intense look
[that's one way to end, huh?]
oh yay! we're done, good job everybody!
*(y/n) is hurrying to escape like a pokemon
*jake is still dumbfounded, poor guy
[is he okay?]
don't worry about him, he's rebooting
*jake glares adorably at (y/n)
we are talking after this
sorry i have plans, i need to water my dog
*(y/n) teases jake making him facepalm
[i think i smell another feature, but maybe as couples next time?]
*both blushes at the statement
that's all up to jake, director :D
*jake :O
honey, close your mouth, you'll catch flies
*jake wakes up at the term of endearment and his blush deepens
yah~ !
*(y/n) grins widely and waves to the camera
bye~
»————- ♡ ————-«
bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)
masterlist ⸺ series masterlist
a/n: AAAA ENHA CB !! the enhypen dimension opens owo <3 anyways, i made jake's lighter since i couldn't make it angsty, he's too precious, i must protect him. also, my jake timestamp (oh worm?) received a lot of love, thank you !!! i hope you like this one as well~ sunoo's will be uploaded next !! please look forward to it <33
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#speak or shot#enhypen series#enhypen x gender neutral reader#sim jaeyun scenarios#sim jaeyun imagines#sim jake#sim jaeyun#enhypen jake#jake x reader#sim jaeyun x reader#enhypen jake imagines#enhypen jake scenarios#jake scenarios
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red; tom's version|one.
chapter one: sad, beautiful tragic.
“Long handwritten note deep in your pocket”
pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (tom's not famous here)
story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship months after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?
chapter summary: you haven't seen him since he ditched you, after months of wearing plaid you go out and realize he's back in new york
warnings: angsty, I mean it's a breakup, swearing.
word count: 7.3k
playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music
fic masterlist
next chapter
a/n: Hi, I couldn't wait to share it so I said, screw it, I'm posting this. You don't know how excited I am to write this and share it with you. As you know, this is inspired by Red by Taylor Swift and will hurt. So I expect us all to be crumpled up pieces of paper wearing scarves by the end of this. (perennial is still coming, I'm just waiting on a few people who're reading it). SPECIAL THANKS TO @erodasghosts for reading it and hyping me up and helping me figure this all out. I hope you guys all like it as much as I did. The story is set in New York. Please give feedback!
One month after the breakup.
Strong whiskey, on the rocks. That was his drink of choice that night. The night before had been a beer. You knew you could imagine the taste of his lips by only looking at him. You wondered if he’d gone there for a second night for the same reason you had.
When you had seen him across the place the night before, you had tried to decide how to feel. We always think we will react one way or another when we see our official heartbreak walking through. Victorious as he is perfectly dressed, with his hair flowing.
He hadn’t brought her. Which you didn’t know how to feel about.
The day before you had not been alone, Jules, Matty, and Lula were there.
“Shit, the axolotl at 10 o'clock, you’ve got to be shitting me,” Lourdes, Lula, had whispered before sipping her drink, a Long Island Tea. “We are celebrating she’s doing better, can’t fucking believe this,” she hissed at Jules who only lifted her chin slightly to see who she was referring to. “What the fuck is he doing here? Ay, es que, con qué huevos se atreve a venir aquí? Que no mame.” [with what balls did he dare to come here? He shouldn’t fuck with us. ]
You loved hanging out with Lula and listening to her very refined Spanish cursing.
“It’s not him,” Julia said.
You tried looking back to see who they were referring to. “Who is—?”
“Y/N, wait I just noticed the haircut!” Matt pointed out, reaching over, getting your attention back to them and not at whatever they were referring to. “It looks great. It’s like a new you!”
This new you. The one that had been screwed over twice. Men really have the nerve when it comes to breaking hearts. They recklessly go in and let you believe love comes in all shades of colors, passionate red like the roses they send, and tender pinks like your sweet innocence that they end up stealing. But they never tell you it’ll be you all alone in a dark room with shades of grey under a flickering light that barely warms you.
The new you, which was still a bit lost. Your old self was a stranger to you now. You had no idea who this new you was, she was quiet now. Didn’t have a heart because someone had stolen it and broken it and left it behind a dumpster. Still trying to find it. The new you wasn't.. you.
Your friends were glad, however, they finally got you to go out again. After weeks of wearing plaid and watching Fleabag, and even considering watching Greys Anatomy, a low point, you had finally decided to come back to see if there was any sunshine left for you.
It’s important to point out that you had been broken-hearted and almost crazy when the breakup had happened. Very… delusional. You were not proud of the way you’d reacted. Although you wouldn’t have reacted any other way.
The city had been quiet, the red lights seemed to last longer, and the crowds would often swallow you. The city you once loved was now an open book of a relationship that seemed real, should’ve known it was all fiction.
In your dreams they’d be bright, colorful. The village is aglow. Cold days with warm hearts. Like his.
You’d been cold ever since.
“Ah, yeah, the haircut. Got it today. Lula’s idea” The haircut had come as the solution to a problem that would never be solved. As if cutting your hair meant there was something you had the power on. You didn’t.
How stupid was it? You couldn’t control your life.
“It suits her well, doesn’t it?” Lula admitted proudly.
You still had his picture engraved in your heart. You still dreamed he would come back and say it was all a nightmare.
“It’s nice, I’m glad to have you back,” Jules commented. Julia had probably been the most surprised with the news of the breakup, she had almost gone and killed Tom when he had….unimportant. She hadn’t, though, and she had yet to tell you the reason why. Julia had been mysterious since.
“I’m glad to be back,” you confirmed. You’d ordered a beer, and maybe you shouldn’t have. Stella Artois, his one favorite. You pocketed the beer cap. “Though I was not gone.”
Matt watched you, him and Julia had recently started dating. Best friends since kids who just recently confessed their feelings for each other, took them long enough. “How back are you, though?”
“Meaning?” You asked, taking a sip.
Matt shrugged, “I could introduce you to some friends from work, there’s this hot guy—“
“No,” you interrupted him, leaving the bottle down as you had almost choked. “No, no. Not in the dating area yet. Won’t be in a long time. Still healing.”
Lula still had her eyes glued elsewhere. “Healing from a bullet hole, y/n, whatever you’re doing isn’t working, and band aids won’t fix it—Jules it is, I swear to god it’s him.”
“It’s not him,” Julia rolled her eyes.
“Ay, que sí!” [he is]
“Who?” You asked.
Julia took your hands, “you know Lula,” she rolled her eyes. “I love that you ordered a beer.”
“Yeah,” you gulped. “Beer is universal language for men as in: ‘don’t get close to me.’” A lesson someone dear had taught you once.
Matt tilted his head in agreement, “Yeah.”
“Really?” Lula frowned, “should’ve ordered one. Next time I’ll ask for my drink but instead of a glass I’ll ask them to put it in a beer bottle.”
“Wouldn't it be easier to order a beer?” Matt suggested.
“But then I’d break our tradition.”
Matt watched her, “you really are something.”
You chuckled.
“Why is beer seen as not—feminine?” Matt questioned.
Julia shrugged. “It’s beyond me, really. It’s a drink.”
“Like does my drink make me less of a man?” Matt watched his glass, another Long Island Tea. A stupid inside joke you all had.
“No,” you admitted. “But you know how society is. Since it’s sweet, it’s got to be—“
“Oh, no, no, I love you, y/n, but tonight I don’t want you lecturing us on it, no, tonight we are having fun, ok?” Lula reminded you. “We will not talk about femininity or lack of a beer—or whatever your agenda is up to these days, which, hey! Why does y/n get to break the rule?” Lula questioned. “No Long Island Tea?
Julia glared at her, “Because she can do whatever she wants tonight,” she hissed and then turned to you. “But how are you feeling? It’s your first time going out in months, is it as fun?” Julia was the one to try to cheer you up the most.
No, it wasn’t fun.
“I—feel good!” You lied. Although you were not. But you guessed that’s the response they wanted after seeing you laying down on the ground and crying yourself to sleep. Staring at windows and walking down in the rain. They wanted you to feel better.
Your body was covered in scars.Though, they were from adventures.
“Bullshit,” Lula intruded. “You seem sad. Maybe I’ll get some shots,” she announced before going to get some.
“Well,” you chuckled. “My first time going out and you bring me back to the place where it all started?” You answered cynically but then shrugged. “I’m—I…no. I just—It’s weird. I still see him everywhere, and as I’m here it’s like watching a movie of our greatest moments,” you admitted. “Like hey, look over there, it’s Tom and Y/N’s greatest moments,” you stated, Lula got back. “Let’s start memory lane…”and you sighed and continued with the best presenter voice you had. “Here you’ll wonder how the hell did it go so wrong since they were so perfect, what the hell went wrong, when did it turn into some sad stupid love affair. You’ll be asking yourself hey, they seemed in love, over there, they danced! Over there… they sang a song together! See over there? There was a fucking jukebox in which they have memories! Oh they have memories there too! And you’ll ask yourself, he made it seem real, what the hell happened?” You sighed exhaustedly. “What happened? What the fuck happened? How was I so stupid?” You ran your hands through your face.
Your friends only watched you, with pity, sadness. Even Lula had turned her gaze guilty.
You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“No,” Lula sighed, “it’s our fault for bringing you here. We’re fucking idiots. Besides he is—Julia I swear to god, he is there.” Lula raised her hand and Julia quickly pulled it down.
Julia bit her lip, “I—hadn’t realized how much Tom there is here.”
“Yeah.”
“He called me—“Matt had started.
“No, no, we can’t talk about him, baby,” Julia reminded him. Matt widened his eyes and nodded.
You blinked, “no, it’s—He called you? Tom?” Why had Tom called Matty? What for?
“Yeah, had a missed call,” Matt explained, ignoring his girlfriend. “I—it was this morning.”
You felt your chest twist. “Yeah, I get a lot of those too.”
Perhaps he wanted to talk to you and thought Matty was dumb enough to give you the phone.
Julia glared at Matt. “We promised not to—“
“No, hey,” you stopped her. “I—sorry, I brought him up.”
“But we shouldn’t talk about him,” Julia insisted. “Tonight is all about having fun,” she stated as she handed everyone their shots.
“No, it’s alright,” you said. “I’m fine talking about it.”
Lula turned her gaze to you. “Shouldn’t you hate him?”
Were you supposed to hate someone who gave you something so beautiful? Just because it’s over doesn’t mean you have to look back and hate it.
“No,” you answered simply.
Matt watched you. “Wait, really?”
You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m—I decided I’m thankful for everything. He really… I… I mean I knew from the start he was trouble. But he got me to get rid of Will. So I’m thankful for Tom. He showed me some beautiful things about him, about myself and… I’m thankful. Even the part when he broke my heart.”
It was a lie. Partly. You had been so full of doubts that you only tried wondering why it had gone so wrong. Or course, the lie was there. His lies. But how could any of it be a lie?
Julia smiled gently, “You’re really a grown up.”
“Or very stupid.” Lula commented.
“Thanks, Lula, I appreciate it,” you rolled your eyes. “I… well, I’ve gotta admit I was pretty stupid.”
Lula shrugged, “Hey, I don’t blame you, boy came in with an accent, he had a cute smile, he was hot, I must admit, and he wasn’t one of those Brooklyn fuckboys that take you to the rooftop and offer you a whiteclaw to watch the sunrise together,” Lula gave in.
“Oh, and they take candid pictures, and they say that their phone camera isn’t as good as their polaroid,” Julia laughed, “But hey, you’re lucky they took you to the rooftop, they never take anyone there, they took you there just because you’re…”
“Different,” Julia, Lula and you chanted.
Matt laughed, “You guys are the worst.”
“Anyway,” Lula said. “We should drink these,” she pointed at the shot glasses as she raised her own. “I came here to get drunk. So, to Y/N being thankful Tom was a piece of shit even when the boy had a dreamy accent?”
You closed your eyes, and let out a defeated dry chuckle. “Yes, to that.”
“To the piece of shit, then!” Lula grinned as the shots clinked and were downed. You instantly regretted drinking it.
Lula scowled as she had her eyes glued back at the bar, “It’s him, Julia, it’s him! What is he doing here? Pendejo, I swear to god I’ll go kill him.” She was furious, and you tried once again following her gaze.
The bar was crowded, red lights crossed around the place, with girls walking with tall heels, trying to smile and nod at guys who were talking to them but clearly were not of interest to them. Friends laughing, people flirting. You didn’t know who your friends were watching.
But the bar seemed to be enough of a reminder of him. How he had made you feel like crowds were never there, and how whenever you had been with him everything disappeared just to be with him.
“Who are we killing?” You questioned.
“Is new y/n a murderer?” Asked Matt. Matt and Julia were your oldest friends. The three of you grew up in Staten Island, and now moved to the crowded places.
Lula coughed. “Hope she is.” Lula, on the other hand, you’ve met in college, she was a very defined addition to the friend group. With more personality. A strong one. Lula, Julia and you shared a small apartment.
Julia cleared her throat.
“The fucking scarf,” Lula scowled.
“What scarf?” Matt asked. And you had the same question.
Julia whispered to her boyfriend’s ear who had turned cold. He lifted his head.
“But it’s not.”
“It is him,” Matt confirmed to Lula. “Jules, it is.”
And now your three friends were acting strange. Usually they did but this was strang-er. They all shared looks, Julia struggled with her hands.
They were watching you with pity but you’d gotten used to that. After the breakup they had been extra careful around you, kinder, you guessed.
Fools they were to believe that by not mentioning him you wouldn’t think of him. He was a memory that would haunt you for the rest of the days.
“So, y/n,” Julia was clearly hiding whatever Lula was seeing.
“Wasn’t he in London? What in this fucking world is he doing here?” Lula continued.
“Shut up!” Julia ordered.
“London?” You asked and you lifted your head, and any noise that was bustling before had stopped.
Tom.
Tom was there.
Thomas.
Tom who had broken your heart. In every possible way that he could’ve. Like he had planned it. Like he was aware.
He was there, on a stool with a beer in his hand and wearing a red scarf. The red scarf. As if he was mocking you.
Tom.
Did he pride on hurting you?
He had always said you were invincible. That you were unrivaled in matters of the heart. Was he proud he had beaten the unbeaten?
You’d always thought he would.
When we love deeply, getting hurt comes as a given. But when we love deeply, we are never expecting it to come. And when it does come the skies cannot turn grayer. Funny thing, you were a fan of the rain but when the rain doesn’t cease, the hope doesn’t perdure.
But he was back in your life. Or at least he had been in the same room as you after months.
What was he doing back in New York with your scarf?
You turned back to your own table, breathing in quickly, bringing your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm yourself down.
You saw your friends speaking but you couldn’t make a word of what they’re saying. Your heart was rushing. Thomas was there. Tom. Your Tom. And there was a part of you that had completely forgotten over the heartbreak and wanted to run to him.
Kiss him, try to fix it. Try to bring back the beautiful thing you both had. Because it was. And it hurt looking back.
You were having trouble breathing now, the heartbreak had come.
That’s the worst thing about heartbreak. You never saw it coming, though you should’ve. Though it was beautiful you’d known from the start you’d end up hurt. But when a lie is crafted so beautifully, how could you?
“It’s him.” The words had come in whispers.
You barely remembered what had happened next. You had only stood up, decisive to leave, you’d seen him try to walk his way to you. You’d heard him call your name, but you hadn’t turned back, you had seen Matty stop him from running to you.
It was blurry. You didn’t know how you got home. Desperately trying to understand why he was there and how the night had turned too badly.
Lula and Matt had come back later to find Julia trying to comfort you, hugging a pillow that you were sure he had slept on. Breathless.
But it was in the past now, you were there again. Same bar, both in stools far away.
You were almost sure he’d gone to that bar in hopes of finding you again.
Just like you’d gone again.
His eyes the night before were guilty. You only took a deep breath, you remembered trying to avoid his glance at any chance as you had walked out.
Why were you there again?
That feeling in your chest growing, like there was something heavy expanding. Yet your stomach falling smaller. The pain was but a shield, as if it was creating a special protection around your heart, and though it hurt it was enough for it to make your heart strong to leave the place.
You didn’t want to see Tom. You hadn’t talked to him since. Even when he’d tried to call. Even when you’d tried calling.
Not when you had replayed the breakup over and over and over again since he was gone.
Everyone deals with breakups in different ways. Yours, specifically, was avoiding it. Everything and everyone. Especially Tom.
It was hard when he was everywhere. In that tattoo he’d convinced you to get, in that ring he’d left, in that cereal box that you still hadn’t finished. Whenever you listened to a song he’d recommended. Whenever you’d open Netflix and that series you had started watching together was still recommended to you even when you’d deleted it.
Everywhere.
You couldn’t use your favorite colors because you could hear it, in the back of your head “I love how it looks on you.” “You should wear more blue, it suits you.”
Even your stupid laugh remind you of him. “Your laugh is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard, even if it’s so ugly.”
You missed the person you were when he was with you. How everything was happy. Who was that y/n? Who didn’t mind if she was slightly late to a place because he’d come with you? Who didn’t feel alone at parties when she knew nobody because you knew him?
A y/n that existed only for a short period of time when he’d been around and that he’d shattered like glass when he had the chance.
You missed that y/n.
The y/n that would sometimes lose her breath and catch it back when he walked into the room. A y/n that sang along to her favorite songs all day. The one that would give her heart in a rush to him. The one that watched movies no matter if they were good or not.
Life had colors back then.
Now you were full of regrets and of doubts. Wondering what you had done wrong? Where did it lead you?
You looked up at him then. He was staring down at his glass.
There was a slight trace of him still there, the Tom you once loved. The one with the silly smile and the gentle chuckle, the one with the jokes about everything.
You wondered how much of that y/n he saw too.
You were the same two people, in essence. But how different you were now.
The Tom you knew before finding out it was a lie.
There was still a hint. You knew. But there was so much of him in you that it was hard to see if you still were there. Or the Tom you thought you knew. Not the one with the lie. Or maybe this was the truest Tom he could ever be.
He had to move on, rather quickly, you recalled. If he ever did.
There was a stupid reminder of you in his hand, that red scarf from the very first day.
You still remembered how it all started, a stupid red scarf. He kept it, then, and he wore it.
You had ordered a beer, too. You pocketed the cap again.
But there was an image in your mind, maybe he had gone back and probably had his arm around her and he laughed at a joke she made. Maybe she was funnier than you. Definitely prettier, with her hair falling down all the way to her waist, her clothing accentuating everything you didn’t have.
You recalled having to leave the room when you found out. You had been a mess.
Leaning against a wall as you caught your breath before the tears came down, as if he had pierced right through it. A pain chest that had expanded all the way on your body, not sure how you were able to keep walking back to your place. Falling down to your knees when you did.
Pain. Words failed to describe such a deep sentiment.
But it was gone now. Not entirely but at least you could hold your breath fine when he was just across the room.
What went wrong?
You could ask him. He was right there.
Maybe even tell him how you had lost sight. He hadn’t walked up to you. He was nervous, but he seemed calm enough to see you were there. You were still unsure why you had gone there.
Maybe all the good things were enough to bring you there, maybe the fact that you still didn’t believe it was a lie brought you there. Maybe the fact that one of those pictures from that photobooth was still in a locket. So stupid.
He fiddled with the glass.
You waited and waited but he didn’t approach you. He took out a paper out of his pocket as he stared at it.
You wouldn’t approach him. No matter how happy he had made you once, you wouldn’t walk to him. No matter how beautiful it was. No matter if you were lonely and that when you dared to sleep he’d be haunting your dreams.
It was a tragedy now. What you both were, and not even worth enough to try and save it. You knew you were haunting him too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here.
He was shakin, as he stared at you, nervous. He downed his drink, you guessed it was for some liquid courage and stood up, with the note in one hand and your red scarf in the other.
Your own courage for coming here was gone, as you saw his intentions, the urge to run you had the night before was becoming you. But he couldn’t walk. He had to sit down again, rubbing his face.
The courage that had come when choosing what Lula called the ‘revenge black dress’ was nowhere in sight. You were cold and regretting putting it on.
“I can’t do this,” you said to yourself and quickly let out some dollars to pay for your drink before picking up your stuff to leave.
You saw he panicked when he saw you leaving, he quickly called the bartender to pay for his drink.
You closed your coat as you were shaking yourself, punishing yourself for going there. Why had you gone there? The man had broken your heart? Were you really there to see him?
Was your heart foolish enough to ignore the warnings in your mind once again?
You walked your way to get to the subway station, how irrelevant you were through the crowds. You hadn’t felt this way for a while, caring for the crowds. But you had to get through them. There was a part of you that wished Tom was following you after. But the crowds didn’t let you see if he was.
Besides, you shouldn’t want that.
You finally managed to get to the station, you clung to your purse as you stared at the tracks, waiting for the next train to come. Peaceful it seemed, the station. As peaceful as New York could be. You guessed if you cried nobody would care.
“y/n!” You heard your name in the distance and you couldn’t handle it.
You took a deep breath and shook your head, angrily. Why had you gone? You could’ve easily kept ignoring his calls. You could’ve stayed in your apartment, crying as you watched SNL videos on youtube, or rewatching a cartoon for the hundredth time, letting your own sadness and self pity swallow you.
But you had gone to him. This was your fault. You should’ve taken a cab, instead, he would know you’d get at this station and he for sure would know what train you’d take.
“y/n, y/n!” He kept calling as he finally arrived next to you. “Sorry I would’ve gotten here faster but the damn MetroCard-”
“I’m not doing this, Tom,” you stated before he could go on rambling like the idiot he was. You couldn’t do it. “Not here, not anywhere. I don’t know what you’re doing here.”
“I…” His face was kind, and he seemed to be nervous. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping, probably the jet lag.
You took a moment to look at him, he didn’t look as victorious as you had thought he was. His hair was messy, and his cheeks flushed, the buttons on his shirt were not buttoned right.
Seeing him again, with that signature look he had made you want to go down to your knees.
“Aren’t you supposed to be back in London?” You snapped. “With that pretty girl-”
“No, no, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Tom stuttered. “I was an idiot.”
You stared into his eyes, you were not ready for this. You were not ready to look into his stupid eyes. You looked away. “That’s all you have to say?” You tried walking away from him..
He shook his head. “No, no, no, no, I… No, I actually… I had this… I wrote down my apology,” Tom confessed. He showed you a sad, handwritten paper, now slightly teared up with the ink running. “I… I had….”
You looked down at it, his messy handwriting, crinkled with words scratched down. “You wrote it down?”
You didn’t know why you felt your heart warm. This kind of stuff was why you couldn’t understand what had happened. Someone like him, who writes his apologies down. Someone who stutters when he’s speaking.
“Yeah, I… but I spilled my drink on it after seeing you fled,” He explained, swallowing hard. “I… I… I had written it down so I wouldn’t forget it but now I realize how stupid that is… I’m… I’m really sorry, y/n.” .
You could hear the train coming. You were seeing him again. It hit you right there. And this was not the reaction you thought. You had said you would be delusional, crying and fighting and questioning him why the fuck he had done that.
Yet you weren’t. You were only watching him, eyes full of tears wanting to slide down but unable to. But there was that pain still in your chest.
How could he ever dare to hurt you that way? “I don’t want to talk to you,” you said. And meant it. “Please leave me alone.” You said before walking into the train.
“Y/N, please, no, please, please, listen to me,” He followed you in, the scarf still in his hand.
You tried sitting as far away as you could. Arms and legs crossed as you tried breathing in.
He sat beside you and you changed seats. He sighed but followed you again. “Please, I need to talk to you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Well you did,” you snapped. “You did, and now you come here a month later with a handwritten note apology thinking I will be fine with it?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I had to solve-Please, would you listen?” Tom asked, knowing damn well he had to ask, and not just straight up blurt it out.
“Why would I, Tom?” You turned to him, with a tear traveling down your cheek. You were incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right? I… You… You think that just because you show up with that stupid face of yours and my scarf I’ll want to listen to you? You’re an idiot.”
He sighed and reached to give you the scarf. You ignored it.You were furious now.
The other people on the train were certainly getting a show. A guy with a backpack was trying to pretend he wasn’t listening but his reactions were giving it away. Another woman pretended to keep reading her book but she hadn’t turned any pages.
Tom took the scarf back staring at it. “I need to explain everything to you.”
“What if I don’t want an explanation?” You snapped. Though you did. You had been waiting for one, you wanted one. You would beg for it. But your pride was taking the wheel of the conversation. “Don’t you think it’s fucking late for it?”
“Is it?” Tom turned back to you.
“Yes!” You couldn’t believe him. But this seemed a bit too familiar of a conversation. “And beside no explanation would make me forgive you!” You stated, whispering, not wanting any of the attention you were receiving.
“I’m not… I… If you just listen to me,” Tom said.
You glared, “I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Then why did you come to the bar?” He asked.
He fucking asked.
Your eyes widened. He had gone there. He knew. He fucking knew you’d gone back because you wanted an explanation. Or so he thought. No, you’d gone back because… Yes, because you wanted an explanation. Because everything he’d done had been beautiful. Until the heartbreak. He had crafted and vexed his way into your cold stupid heart and then he had gone and pierced right through it, crushed it.
You wanted to ask why. Why did he do it so vehemently?
You didn’t answer, instead you moved one seat away. He kept his eyes on you.
“You wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t want an explanation,” he said. “Or to see me, at least. I know I did, I needed to see you.”
You saw the guy with the backpack purse his lips, knowing that Tom had got you. There was little context for them. The girl with the book directed a glance to you, trying to read your emotions.
If they knew, they’d be on your side and yelling at him as well.
He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.
“I didn’t, it was a coincidence,” you answered coldly.
“No, it bloody wasn’t,” Tom scoffed and then sat up. “No, I’m… No, but you know, you went to the bar for a reason.”
“And I left for a million more,” you frowned.
Tom pursed his lips and took out the paper again, trying to make out whatever he’d written before. “I’m really sorry.” His eyes traced through the note.
“Are you genuinely trying to read it? Don’t you know what you’re supposed to apologize for?”
Tom looked up, “So you do want me to apologize?”
The guy with the backpack squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Tom had fucked up.
“You’re kidding, right? Yes, you have to apologize, what you did is really, really shitty!” You pointed out.
“But you won’t forgive me, then?” Tom watched you.
“I don’t know,” you said and he looked up, a beaming gaze. “No, I won’t.”
He wrinkled his eyes, “I… I know I’m supposed to apologize, not to expect you to forgive. I'm just…”
He gulped, and then sat back, staring at the dirty walls and lights. He had dressed up. Badly, but he had tried looking good, you could tell. You could smell his lotion, too.
He was fiddling with the paper, crumpling up and then it fell to the floor. You looked at it and somehow related to it, not sure how.
You took a deep breath so you wouldn’t kill him and turned to him. “I have questions for you, if you answer them I might consider listening to you.”
Tom’s eyes brightened up. “Yes, yes, anything.”
You eyed him up and down as he watched you with begging eyes. You avoided his gaze. Tom followed your gaze as you tried to figure out what was the first thing you could ask him. Why had he hurt you?
Why did he not stop and think before making you fall in love with him?
Why did he not stop and tell you the truth?
“Where are you staying?” You asked,
Tom blinked. “Is that… is that the question?”
“No, but I know you don’t know how to fucking get anywhere,” you said.
Tom gulped, “I… uh, again with Harrison,” he explained.
You sighed. You remembered Harrison alright. And though there was a petty part inside you, you would help him out. Knowing he’d always get lost in the city. Though you could let him get lost, so you’d have to go after him and spend a bit more time. With an excuse, because you didn’t seem to have any excuse to be with him.
It hurt. What hurt the most was trying not to look back at the incredible moments you had because none of them were true.
You sighed. “Okay, when we get down you’ll take the F train—“
Tom stopped you, taking your hand. “No, wait, I don’t care if I get lost, okay, I… I just.”
You snatched your hand away from his cold hands he had. You darkened your gaze at him.
“Please, Y/n, I just need a chance. If you don’t want to listen… maybe I’ll just…” He handed you the note.
You crossed your arms, and tapped your foot, trying to decide whether or not to give it to him. “Fine,” you took the note.
You've gotten to your stop. So you stood up.
The girl with the book and the guy with the backpack watched you both as you walked out, pitying they couldn’t follow the drama.
Tom followed after you, he licked his lips. “You… you had questions, right?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, taking yet another heavy breath. You turned on your feet to look at him “One, did you lie to me?”
Tom was taken back by this, his eyes, consternated, only watched you. He gulped. “What?”
“Did you lie to me?
“I… well.”
You were getting desperate. “Did you ?”
“I didn’t lie about how I felt,” he said. You knew he wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t. He couldn’t have ever lied about how he felt because you knew he had felt it too, a bit, at least,
You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”
“I mean it, I…” Tom gulped. “I really liked you.”
“Yeah, I know, you liked me yadda, yadda,” you started. Liked not loved. “Cut the bullshit for once, did you or did you not lie to me?”
Tom took a deep breath. “Yes. But I had feelings for you.”
You bit your inner cheeks. “Uh-huh, yes, okay, good, yes, you acknowledge it. So, we have two statements here, Tom. You say you had feelings yet you lied to me,” you squinted. “Sounds-”
Tom gulped and avoided your gaze. “I know yes,” he looked down. “But, if you give me-”
“Ah, buh-buh, nope, I’m just gathering my thoughts here,” you coughed. “I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what you felt.”
Tom shook his head in confusion. “I—I’m”
“Go on,” you motioned your hand.
“Y/N,” he said. And the way he dared to say your name was like having a knife right through you. “I had—I have feelings for you,” he said looking right into your eyes.
He didn’t say what feelings.
You were not sure where you wanted to go with this. “Fine, my next question…” you really didn’t know where this was going. “So, alright, you…” You couldn’t even phrase it. “You… made me fall in love with you knowing….Well, we both know what you did. What you hid from me. You’re a liar who made me—“
Tom took a deep breath. “Yes, but I didn’t… plan that.”
Your eyes widened. “Oh, so it’s my fault?” You stepped back. “Sorry for developing feelings for you. Sorry for ruining your life—“
Tom closed his eyes, “No, no, look, I… wasn’t. I didn’t come here expecting to meet you, I didn’t want… It just happened, okay, I never thought—You're making it sound like it’s some big master plan. I—I never planned—I never would’ve ever planned on hurting you.”
You watched him, incredulous. “Thomas you do realize what you did to me?”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t! You’re trying to make me seem like I’m crazy for not even wanting to talk to you!” You called him out.
“I’m not, I’m just saying that if you’re here—you must miss it too, you know it was too real, and you want it back, possibly—M-maybe not, but if you came to the bar tonight it was in hopes of finding me again because you knew I’d be there, and you want to feel how you felt before, and i just… you know I miss it and that you knew I didn’t lie—“
You glared at him. “You did lie!”
“Okay—yes, yes I did—But not entirely, I just happened to omit one truth—“
“One very important truth,” you snarked.
“Fine but—please listen,” he tried to convince you. “and I’m sorry, okay? I—I didn’t want to hurt you. But I never planned this. It just happened. I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with anyone, I didn’t come here trying to date, and I never expected it to be someone as complex—“
“Complex?”
“Yes, I never came to New York trying to find the most mental relationship I’ve ever had—“
“Mental?” You snapped.
“Yes! I love you but you’re fucking crazy! And I am too! I’m fucking crazy and mental but I—I—I loved being crazy and mental with you! We are fucking mental! Driving to nowhere? Breaking into places? Getting a jukebox on the subway? That’s mental! But—but I love that about you, alright? Don’t you get it? I could’ve stayed in London, I could've been the asshole who just ditched you and lied to you—“
You scoffed. “Well that’s comforting!”
“But I’m—I’m here, ain’t I? And I know I fucked up, I know, I accept that, I’m the asshole here, and I know you’ll never—I hid it from you because I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t even get it myself. I’m here to give you my version of it. I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you…I am…,I am in love with you, and I never planned that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. I may have thought it was just—Some fling, initially.”
You laughed cynically. “A fling.”
He gulped. “And the moment I realized what was really going on—”
“You left, that’s what you fucking did, when you realized it was way too real for you, you destroyed the one real thing you’ve ever known,” you barked, he stepped back. “I fell in love with you, I—I—and then you ditched me, and I thought that was the worst thing you could ever do to me but then I realized that it wasn’t real! I—you were never mine, Tom! I simply was—a break you needed or—a fling.”
“It wasn’t that—“
You watched him. Looking so innocent, kind eyes and tender lips. You would’ve believed him had he come before.
“You used me!” You snapped, the words that had wanted to come for a while just blurted out. “I just can’t believe you,” you said. “You don’t feel sorry.” You shook your head, your voice was cracking. “You're not sorry because you don’t understand. You don’t know what I went through, and if you had come earlier, if you hadn’t left me, I probably would have believed you. But—No! No!” You stepped back. “No!”
“I did call! You never picked up the phone! I tried—“Tom started.
“Was I really expected to pick it up? Let’s get back to it. Shall we? The facts. Did you or did you not date me? And made me fall in love with you?”
Tom sighed. “I—yes.”
“Did you lie?”
“…yes.”
You nodded. “Was I the other one?”
Tom squinted his eyes. “No… yes, no.”
You took a deep breath. “Did you leave me without an explanation?”
Tom looked down. “I did.”
“Did you ditch me?”
Tom looked everywhere and nowhere. “Yes,” he answered, defeated.
“Now, do you think I can ever forgive you?”
Tom didn’t answer.
You reached for your purse, for the locket that dug deep inside. “I don’t know you,” you stated giving him the locket, the stupid locket you’d bought as a joke when making fun of other couples and now laughed in your face. “Whatever happened means nothing. Because that’s the thing Tom. Everything we lived was a lie, those two people in the locket are not us, because you weren’t who you said you were, no matter how much I loved it, it’s not true and though it was too many emotions all at once I’m—It’s not real, not for you. I spent this whole time thinking I wanted you to apologize but I don’t want it. That charming guy wasn’t truly you because you omitted one very important thing. You—What were you thinking? Were you planning to never say it? Or did you plan it like that? Just ditching me, hoping I wouldn’t find out—“
Tom took a deep breath. “No—No, I didn’t. I just—-I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you and I should’ve fixed it before—-“
“No, no you didn’t because it wasn’t enough for you.”
Tom gulped, “It was, it was—-the best thing I’ve ever had.”
“And you ruined it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“How little words mean when you’re a little too late, huh?” And that was the cue you needed to walk away. He silently watched you as you tried not to cry.
“I’m really sorry.” He said.
Was he?
“What if I try to prove it to you?” He asked as you were steps away from him.
You didn’t stop.
“If we go over this, you’ll see I never lied about it.” He continued.
“I already went over it, I remember everything, Tom, and maybe that’s why I don't want to talk to you.”
Tom walked behind, slowly. “I just happened to be very unlucky when it came to my own circumstances,” he reached over. “And I wish the timing had been better. But you’re right, it’s the one real thing I’ve ever had and I lost it because I hid something in fear of losing you. I lied because it was too good to be true. And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me but I think you deserve to know why. But you went to the bar for a reason, and you had the locket for another.”
You stopped this time. Looking down at the floor and then at his hand, holding your stupid scarf. You shook your head, you really didn’t want to go through it all over again.
“I know you won’t forgive me,” he stated. “But I can’t let you go. You’re everywhere. And I miss the person I was when you were around, and I won’t stop fighting because you’re everywhere. Dreams, nightmares.”
Funny. You were his demons too.
“Am I haunting your nightmares?” You asked. Tom only watched you.
He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just need—I really need you to listen to my version.”
“Fine then, let’s go down this sad, beautiful tragic love affair.”
-
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bnha characters as swifties ~
— you convert them into swifties and there's no going back
characters: bakugo katsuki, todoroki shouto, yaoyorozu momo, jirou kyouka
warnings: swearing (bakugo's part)
notes: i don't know what came over me when i decided to write this,, happy 1 year of folklore ig ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
- bakugo katsuki -
katsuki would only know the name 'taylor swift'
he knows she's some famous celebrity, but he has no idea what she's known for : /
when you first introduce him to her discography, you started with her debut album and 'fearless.'
he didn't like it :') he said it was way too cheesy
katsuki also criticized how inaccurate love story was because romeo and juliet didn't end that way : |
he also despised the "shitty country music" pls never play 'our song' when he's nearby, he'll absolutely destroy whatever it is you're playing it from.
you then introduced him to the most successful album, 1989, hoping he'd at least give it a chance
no, he thought it was "hella annoying" 🙄
"YOU'RE TELLING ME 'ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY' AND 'I WISH YOU WOULD' AREN'T THE SAME FUCKING SONG? FUCK OFF."
but you persevere— you introduced more tracks, explained the lyrics to him, and you forced him to watch the reputation stadium tour on netflix.
he won't admit it openly, but he LOVES reputation.
he loves the new sound, the darker theme, and how edgy and angry it is.
his favorite songs are 'i did something bad' and 'don't blame me'
but he also secretly falls asleep to 'new year's day' 🥺
folklore enraged him in a good way,,
"FUCK JAMES, AUGUSTINE DESERVES BETTER."
and for the album red, "FUCK JAKE GYLLENHAAL, TAYLOR DESERVED BETTER."
this man will make a stan twitter account and demand a punk rock era from tswift because katsuki knows the queen is ✨versatile✨ and she can definitely thrive with a new sound like that 😌
- todoroki shouto -
"taylor swift??? what year and class is she in?"
"shouto— "
you need to present this boy a whole powerpoint presentation,, he badly needs it.
at first, he wouldn't mind the lyrics, he pays more attention to how it sounds.
he likes the mellow ones like 'begin again' 'untouchable' and most tracks from both sister albums, 'folklore' and 'evermore'
for some reason, he loved taylor's country music. those were actually the first songs he added to his playlist.
"it's a bop." he says this with a straight face and a monotonous voice 😐
then, you urged him to read and take in the lyrics, and shouto LOVED her as an artist a lot more.
he definitely cried to 'never grow up' :(((( he can't listen to it again though because he's afraid the song will lose its meaning if it was played too much.
he also appreciates 'seven' a lot. 'tolerate it' and 'soon you'll get better' reminded him of his mother :((
also, he always plays 'mad woman' when endeavor's nearby 💀
he turns up the volume when taylor sings, "does she smile... or does she mouth "fuck you forever. ~ "
he'd definitely buy a lot of merch from taylor, and he was very dismayed when the cardigans sold out before he got to buy one :(
he is very excited for red (taylor's version) and even marked november 19th on his calendar >:)
- yaoyorozu momo -
momo listened to taylor swift a lot when she was younger. she loved singing along to the album, 'fearless'
but she eventually phased out from her songs, not for any particular reason though.
she knows the famous singles like 'shake it off' and 'blank space' and she's mostly neutral about it.
so you force her back into the fandom by having her listen to her whole discography >:)
momo LOVES 'folklore' and 'evermore' this woman will break down the lyrics, analyze it, and upload long-ass essays about them.
"the lyrics are just absolutely exquisite! it's amazing how she manages to use a different sound each album and pull it of :)) you have my deepest gratitude, y/n for having me listen to such a beautiful masterpiece!"
she'll never stop gushing over the jamez-betty-augustine drama. she'll definitely be empathetic towards each one, but she does love augustine the most 😔
she understands james too though and loves 'this is me trying' :') she's not sure if she likes the song 'betty' tho 😧
you'd get under a blanket with momo and cry to 'champagne problems' and 'tolerate it' for fun.
"such a heartbreaking story..." she sniffles into a napkin.
momo was also inspired to write poems because of the two sister albums.
i don't think she'd be interested in taylor's dating life, but she does think it's amazing how you're able to witness the artist's growth by just listening to the songs she writes over the years :))
- jirou kyouka -
"of course i know taylor swift..." she looks to the side sheepishly. "i don't really like her."
"😦"
kyouka unfortunately thinks taylor swift is overrated </3
you can't really blame her though because apparently, she only knew her singles 😃 specifically, 'we are never going back together,' 'blank space, 'shake it off,' and 'ME!'
she says they're catchy but she doesn't really understand the hype.
so you make her understand >:)
you start with lover which later became her favorite album along with reputation and red.
she looves 'cruel summer' and she's angry that it wasn't a single in the album, she also loves the song, 'lover' she won't admit it but she thinks it's incredibly sweet and it makes her want to have a lovelife like taylor's.
she also loves 'the man' and she also sings the bridge of 'death by a thousand cuts' EVERYDAY.
kyouka will also make her own covers of taylor's older songs,, she'll make a cover of 'sparks fly' that sounds edgier. it sounds amazing 😌
she'll lie on her bed, and probably cry to 'superstar' thinking how sweet it would be if someone wrote a song about her like that :((
folklore and evermore aren't her favorites, but she adores the writing so much that it influenced hers.
kyouka will write a song for you out of gratitude for making her listen to the queen, miss swift 😌
#bnha imagines#mha imagines#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#bnha x y/n#mha x y/n#bnha x you#mha x you#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#todoroki shouto x reader#yaoyorozu momo x reader#jirou kyouka x reader#bakugo katsuki x y/n#todoroki shouto x y/n#yaoyorozu momo x y/n#jirou kyouka x y/n#fanfiction
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Moss's 400 follower celebration! (+ mutual appreciation)
Thank you so much for getting me to 400 followers, that's absolutely insane! As a way to celebrate I've decided to do a Sarah week (as suggested as @thatspookyagent) as I absolutely love writing for her characters and wished there was more content for them!
Although my requests are closed, I'll be making an exception and accepting requests (headcanons/oneshots/ect) for any of Sarah Paulson's characters in American Horror Story! (+ Mildred Ratched)
Already planned I have some Sarah stuff in my drafts! A Sally smut, some Ally headcanons, a Sarahs react and I even have some inspiration for an Ally smut! 👀 I have a lot of free time due to isolating, so I'll be trying to get 1-2 things out a day until next week (I might run just slightly over a week if I have too much fun tho—)
And i just want to thank my moots and followers who've been here since the beginning for sitting around and putting up with my bullshit, especially when I say I'll post something then don't or when I get self-deprecating on main
I just want to show some mega appreciation to my mutuals and uh,,, it's gets kind of long so I apologise in advance,, here we go!!
@undeadcortez bestie, you're always hyping up my fic ideas and I 😌😌 and even though I still haven't watched mare of easttown, your Colin fics are >>> they're my substitute for watching it lmaoo
@sapphimoff @whiiiiplaaaaash @divineruler fellow sub boy enthusiasts!!! On a site where dom boy fics rule all, your accounts are little pockets of comfort and validation for my love for subby boys
@tatestripedsweater @mrs-march-ahs you guys were honestly the first two ahs accounts I followed and pushed me towards actually publishing my own fics, the two of you are very supportive of me and it makes me 👉👈 bc I look up to you big time
@thatspookyagent bro, you are like a beam of positivity I swear, like whenever you send a random ask to me or I interact with you I just 💖💖💖 I know it may not seem like it, I'm not used to this kind of energy so sometimes I don't know how to react, but it just makes me heart go brrr, and you icons and gifs >>>> 😌
@tatesimper @darlingkitt I've probably convinced myself that I'm closer with yall than I actually am, but I really appreciate you guys ajdjjd like I know I'm shit at dming and always forget to reply but neither of you ever seem to judge me for that! And that's just jsjdjd, so special to me—
@no-mercy-bby I'd tag everyone in the groupchat but that's so many people aaa, I really appreciate you making the gc because honestly the whole chaoticness of that has been the main thing that keeps me coming back to this site somedays, I've honestly had so much fun with it and am so thankful of you creating it!
Writing whole things out is so exhausting but I have some many other mutuals who I love, I'm so sorry I cant write whole pieces for everyone but in my head there's so much I can say for you all
Hope nobody feels left out, heres a lightning round of other mutuals—
@forevercountess (honestly amazing icons, i love the filter), @therenlover (number one zemo writer, 100% recommend), @amourtentiaa (vv positive energy, also some great Harry Potter fics if you're on the lookout for any!), @kitwalker02 (fellow Kit Stan 😌 could talk about my ideas for him with her for hours if I wasn't such a pussy) @americxn (great writer, I especially recommend her newest Kai fic!) @kitwalker64 (honestly still thinking about that xavier fic you wrote sjdnnd)
Okay, i really hope that's all, if I missed any feel free to STAB me! <3 I also didn't proof read this post so I hope it isn't a complete mess of unreadable garbage
#400 followers#mossy mumbles#Sarah Paulson#Sarah Week#Ahs#American horror story#Ratched#X reader#Gender neutral reader#Male reader#Fem reader#One shot#Imagine#Headcanon#Drable
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Backstage quickie - H.J.S.
a/n: inspired by the look in the picture. pictures and videos of han from that show keep coming to haunt me i swear.
member- han jisung
summary- han looks so good in his concert outfit you just have to have him before he goes on.
word count- 1.8k
warnings- little exhibitionism, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, slight dom!jisung
jisung is supposed to be on stage in twenty minutes now. him and all the other boys are ready, makeup and hair done and stage outfits on. they're doing what they usually do before concerts and sing loudly to music, some of their own songs and some from other artists.
but your eyes are fixated on your boyfriend. none of them really notice, they're all trying to get hyped up for the concert. it's just that the way his hair is styled so perfectly, and how good he looks in this outfit is killing you. the pants make his legs look way too good to resist. his thighs look so thick, and every time his shirt rides up enough you see the waistband of his briefs sticking out at the top, begging you to stick your hand under the material.
so when he plops down next to you, laughing loudly and slightly out of breath from messing around with his band mates, you're quick to attach yourself to his side. "hey baby," he mumbles as he wraps an arm around you instinctively, kissing the top of your head. but then his eyes are back on on chan and jeongin while the elder teases the poor boy by pinching his cheeks. what chan is teasing him about, you don't know and can’t even pretend care. you just care that jisung is more focused on them than he is you.
so you take one of your hands and lay it on his thigh. he glances down at you for a moment, but looks back up at his friends again when they burst out in more laughter. you groan internally, wondering how far you'll have to go until he gets it.
you begin to move your hand further up his leg, too close to his crotch for being around the boys. they don't see it anyways, too focused on goofing around to even look towards the couch. you give his leg a slight squeeze, pulling a quiet gasp from him as his eyes snap to you. 'guess not too far,' you think smugly. "babe," he speaks as a warning, but you keep at it and continue rubbing at his thigh.
while it's still enough to make him gulp, you get bored quickly and decide to sit on his lap instead. facing him, you rest your head on his shoulder and stare at him as you grind your hips down as subtly as possible. he quickly wraps his arms around your body to try (and fail) to still your movements, beginning to breathe a little heavier. you know that none of the boys will think it's weird, you and jisung are always being affectionate in front of them. and the way you two are sat it only looks like han is hugging you.
you nuzzle your face into his neck and grind down on him again, his arms squeezing you tighter against him. "you better cut it out right now, babygirl. you're on very thin ice," he growls lowly into your ear. his voice sends a shiver down your spine.
still, though, a smirk grows on your face and you do it again and again. "but sungie, i need you so bad. please help me?" you say sweetly.
he groans a little and pulls you back to look at him. he's mad. you can see it in the way his eyes burn into you. "you're really gonna be a fucking brat right now?" he whispers, watching as you look up at him innocently. "fine," he speaks through gritted teeth this time. jisung forces you to stand up, placing you in front of him to hide his semi from the others.
"i'll be back in a minute, guys, y/n isn't feeling too great so i'm gonna help her find somewhere to lie down," he informs everyone. "okay, just be back quick we're on in like fifteen minutes," he nods at chan before leading you out of the room. grabbing one of your hands, he hurries down the hallway and turns a couple times before finding an empty dressing room, pulling you in and shutting the door behind you.
in a second you're pushed up against the door, a gasp leaving your mouth as he doesn't hesitate to attack your neck with his lips. "you're really so worked up you had to tease me in front of the boys?" he mumbles against your skin. you say nothing, just appreciating how his lips feel while he kisses and nips at your neck and collarbone.
but jisung quickly reminds himself that time is limited, so he pulls himself away from you and puts his hands on your thighs, mumbling for you to jump. you do and he carries you over to one of the makeup counters set up in here. his lips are back on you right when he sets you down, one hand slipping under your dress to move your panties aside. he rubs you up and down with his long fingers, feeling how wet you are.
"wow, baby, want to tell me what made you this wet? hm?" he shoves two fingers inside your heat, staring down at you darkly as he moves his fingers inside of you already. you breathe heavily as they go in and out of you, curling up to tap on your g-spot every time.
"you did, ji. you just look so hot in this outfit. fuck, i love those pants," you let your head roll back as he starts kissing your neck again. and you’re able to feel his smirk against your skin. for a second you think about how you won't stop hearing about this one for a while.
"oh really? i'll have to wear these a lot more often for you, then," he chuckles as he pulls back from you. "fuck, i wish i could take my time right now, y/n..." he watches for a moment the way that his fingers slide in and out of your wet cunt, and he wants nothing more than to kneel down and taste you, but there's no way he can go on stage with the raging boner he's got right now.
with a shake of your head you move to start undoing his pants. "’s okay, sungie. i want to feel you inside me anyways," you moan as you speak since his hand doesn't stop moving. he lets you push his pants and boxers down his thighs, one of your hands traveling back up to feel his abs under his shirt while the other grips his cock. you pump him a few times before he groans out and removes his fingers from your heat. you whine a little at the loss, but he's quick in grabbing your wrist and pulling your hand off of him, shoving himself inside you instead.
you almost moan out loudly when he does, but jisung is shoving the two fingers that were just inside you into your mouth the second it even opens, muffling the sound just in time. "gotta be quiet, babygirl," he hums as you immediately begin sucking on them, cleaning off your juices. he starts slowly rocking into you, allowing you to get more used to having his thick member stretching you out.
soon enough he's fucking into you rapidly, his fingers in your mouth the only thing keeping your moans under control. his other hand is squeezing your hip hard enough to leave bruises, something he always loves seeing on you the next day.
his dick moves in and out of you impossibly fast as the table shakes, various items falling over and rolling off the surface from the movement. your hands are balled up in his shirt, your head thrown back as your boyfriend works you both towards your peaks as quickly as he can. he takes his finger from your mouth and presses his lips harshly onto yours instead, both of you moaning into each other's mouths. the kiss is sloppy and hot, your teeth clashing together as your tongues wrestle.
his now free hand move down to your clit, rubbing messy circles to help you get there faster. you throw your arms around him, pulling him closer to you as the new sensation makes it harder for you to not pull away and moan out. you both know that if it wasn't for him knowing to muffle your moans you would have been caught already.
his hips speed up, amazing you that he can even go any faster than he was already. it's too hard now to keep your lips on each other's so you instead lower your head to bite on his shoulder. he practically growls, the feeling a blurred line between pleasure and pain. his nails dig into your hip hard in response. you're both so close, and you can each feel that the other is going to cum.
"fuck, come on baby. let go for me, i know you want to," his tone is smug and the words push you over the edge completely, high pitched whines coming from your throat. you clenching around him so tight causes jisung to shudder as he cums inside you, the feeling of his seed spurting against your walls making your jaw go slack as you finally release his shoulder from your teeth.
you breathe heavily together as he pulls out of you, licking his lips when he sees his cum seeping out of your hole. he plants a kiss on your forehead before pulling his pants up, walking away to grab a small white towel stacked up on one of the counters. he comes back over to you and uses it to wipe you clean, pulling your panties back into place too.
he scrunches his nose slightly while tossing it aside randomly. "hope no one tries to use that one," he chuckles. you smile up at him with a little giggle. both of you stare into each other's eyes for a moment before he pulls you into a hug.
"you know," he sighs, "i'm glad that you weren't able to resist my extreme good looks."
you scoff and push him away from you. "whatever!" you laugh and slap his chest lightly. his eyes crinkle up as he laughs with you. you guys still giggle as he begins pecking your lips every couple of seconds.
"hannie?" the both of you snap your heads towards the door. "jisung-ah, where are you?! come on, man, we got two minutes," chan's voice calls down the hall.
you look back to jisung and slightly grimace. "you'd better go then. good luck tonight, my love," you grab his face in your hands and kiss him for good luck. you two pull away just before chan calls for him again, this time throwing in a few mild threats.
"bye, love you," he rushes out and leaves you with a wink and light slap on your ass, hurrying to join everyone else to go on stage.
#han jisung smut#han jisung#stray kids han#stray kids han smut#stray kids#stray kids jeongin#stray kids seungmin#stray kids chan#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids minho#stray kids changbin#stray kids felix#stray kids smut#smut#kpop smut
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The Gyro They Called Edith
You ever had one of those moments where you wake up all at once? You wake up so suddenly that it feels like you've already been awake, and just didn't know it? That was how my day started. It would've felt like any other day otherwise. This time, something was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Until of course, I had a postman show up on my doorstep with a package to be signed for. "I didn't order anything." I stated, somehow feeling both confused and annoyed. He took out a tablet and tapped a few times and said "Edith Thomas?" And stared back at me coldly. "I guess that's me then." I said hesitantly, signing my name on his little tablet and taking the package in my arms.
I scoffed as I walked away from the front door. "Edith," I said mockingly "ugh, my mom sure wasn't doing me any favors with that one. Edie. No matter what I sound like an old lady." I sat on the couch leering over at the package. There it was on the coffee table, obviously doing nothing. It felt like it was taunting me. "I haven't ordered anything, or won anything, nor does anyone really know my new address so what is this about?" I asked to myself. Glaring at the package like it was my enemy, I wandered off to find a letter opener to get it open.
Back on the couch, the package and I stared at each other for a good minute. "Let's DO this!" I said to hype myself up. I'm glad I didn't have a roommate yet to judge me. Because believe me, they would. I twisted the letter opener around in between my fingers for a moment, then tore through the tape on the box.
What hit me first, was the scent. It was heavenly. I could smell herbs of all different types; from rosemary, to thyme, to dill, to basil, you name it. There was a faint citrus smell to the box too. Then came the earthy smell of vegetables. Potatoes, carrots, beets. It smelled like a dream. I opened the sealed bag inside to reveal a huge selection of fruits, vegetables, and fresh herbs. Along with a small note of paper. I grabbed that and started reading. "Dearest Edie," it started off. "Just kidding. No time for formalities here. I miss your cooking. I miss how happy you were when you cooked. So I'm sending you this in hope it will inspire you a little bit. It's a monthly subscription. For 6 months. After 6 months, you better hope you've taken time to prepare! Because there's a contest, and you've been entered. No I will not reveal who I am. Take that as an extra flame to the fire and get going! Kindest regards, A friend!"
I swear, I read that letter over 30 times to try and get some sort of clue as to who sent it. Nobody I knew talked that way. And certainly nobody I knew really cared enough about food to send me monthly boxes full of fresh produce. Something had to be up. And contest? You had to be kidding me. The only contest I knew of that was local to me now was a big deal. I hadn't cooked in months. What was I supposed to do in such a short time? I wasn't going. I'd use the produce so it wouldn't be wasted.. But no contest.
The following month, I got a call from the landlord letting me know that I'd finally be getting a roommate. Utilities were decided by us on payment, rent was split down the middle. Thank God for that. They were due to move in that following weekend. I decided I'd make some dinner for my new roommate.
As much as I kind of resented the box of produce, it was actually very high quality. There were even some things in there I'd never used before. It was exciting if I'm being honest. I used to have such a passion for cooking. It was my go to stress reliever both because the act of cooking helped, and eating the food after was the cherry on top. I had my reasons for no longer cooking. They happened to be the same reasons why I moved away all together.
The weekend crept up and pounced on me really suddenly. Before I knew it, I was creating appetizers and entrees as well as planning a dessert for us both. I chuckled to myself. "If I didn't know any better it would look like I was trying to set up a dinner date." That was when I realized I had no idea who my new roommate would be. I think my landlord tried to tell me about them, but I kept asking questions about the money and the rules. He never got a chance. I sighed as I pulled the dish out of the oven.
I didn't get fancy with the food. Don't get me wrong, it smelled great. But it wasn't anything too complicated. Bacon wrapped asparagus with a garlic sauce as the appetizer. And parmesan crusted chicken breasts, with baked potatoes as the entree. The most difficult part was the dessert. Chocolate lava cakes. My favorite, but ultimately came down to perfect timing. Or else you'd have a really dry brownie, instead of a molten center. And that's no fun. Thankfully, this apartment had up to date appliances with built in timers and temperature adjustment down to the single digits. I pulled them out perfectly on time, the center was just jiggly.
My mouth watered. I hoped that my roommate would show up soon. Or I was gonna eat it all to myself. The bacon was crispy along the edges and chewy in the middle. The asparagus was soft enough to counter the bacon, but still had a little bite. And the garlic sauce was simple, but velvety and smooth. It would make you ready for your next bite without a second thought. God, don't get me started on the chicken. I have a way of cooking chicken that crisps it up nicely, but leaves the center bursting with juice. With the Italian breadcrumbs, parmesan, and fresh herbs, I knew it was going to be filled with flavor. It was crunchy on the outside, but I knew that was just a shell. I had the chicken marinating for hours before cooking it.
As I sat there drooling all over myself like a buffoon, the doorbell rang. I scurried over to the door to open it. "I have a pizza here for Thomas. It'll be $16.47 please." I was baffled. I gave this guy a look that would've made a baby cry. He stared back carelessly. "$16.47 please ma'am." I swung the door open and looked straight into his face. "I didn't order a pizza, you need to leave. I will not be paying for something I didn't even order." I said coldly. He looked like he was almost 30. Why was he delivering pizza? Not my place to judge I guess. His laughter broke me out of my thoughts. "What is so funny?" I asked, clearly irritated. He slid the cap off his head and opened the pizza box to show me what he'd written inside it. "Welcome to your first judging."
He walked inside and took off the pizza top. He had a regular old grey tshirt on underneath. I was suddenly furious. "Who the HELL are you?" I asked, storming up to him. "Name's Malcom." He said, holding out his hand. I looked at his hand, then back up to him, raising an eyebrow. He laughed again and started to explain what was going on. "You know that box you got in the mail?" He asked lightly. "Well. I was sent to help you. I'm here to judge your food and possibly improve what you've got going in order for you to win this contest. My full name is Malcom Rider. I'm your roommate."
My head was spinning. I sat on the couch and waved my hand in the direction of the kitchen. He stood there for a moment, and when I looked up, he took off. Guess my glares work pretty well. I felt sick. I had taken the time out of my day to make a nice dinner in order to get to know my new roommate. To find out that they were sent to "judge me" was just insulting.
I glanced over to the kitchen to see this man loading up his plate with everything. I hopped up. "Stop it!" I cried, clearly startling him. "What's wrong?" He asked sounding concerned. "Who puts everything together all at once? Eat the appetizer, then grab the chicken and potatoes, then you eat dessert. Why would you shove it all onto one plate?" He carefully placed the asparagus onto a small plate and poured some sauce over them. "Okay." He said calmly, walking off to the livingroom to eat his food. Frustrated as I was, I grabbed my plates myself. I was starving. This meal was hours of prep, and I knew it was good. I had confidence in my ability as a cook. In order to avoid this "new roommate" I sat at the kitchen table to eat. I uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured myself a small glass. Something dry would pair well with the strong flavors in the food. I took a small sip before starting to dig in.
The food was about the level that I expected it to be at, but I hadn't cooked for myself in so long I savored every bit. The asparagus had absorbed the flavor of bacon on the surface. The bacon had crisped up creating this salty crunch with every bite. Once you started chewing, the earthy, astringent flavor of the asparagus shone through. I spread the sauce so it covered only parts of the asparagus. And rightfully so, it was buttery, creamy, peppery, and most importantly, garlicky. The fresh garlic bits in the sauce gave little bursts of flavor on top of the bacon. If I wasn't too busy eating it, I'd still be drooling all over myself.
Malcom walked out, 3 plates in hand and began washing. "He's already done with his food?!" I thought to myself. I sat in disbelief for a moment, watching him wash his dishes. Shaking my head I decided to shut him out and just enjoy my dinner. I'd be going straight to bed after I finished eating anyway. I wanted to be left alone. This was all too much for me.
I started in on the chicken, but at this point I was too tired to enjoy it properly. I could feel the crunch from the crust. I could taste the saltiness from the parmesan. I could even taste the herbs and the spiciness from the marinade. But it felt like I was eating out of habit. I just wanted to go to my room. I finished up my chicken and stared at the plate with the cake. Okay so... maybe savoring a few more bites wasn't too exhausting. I used both milk and dark chocolate in the cake. As well as a bit of espresso powder to bring out the chocolatiness even more. A single drop of chili extract gave the cake its "lava" name. It didn't add much, but after you'd finished the cake, your tongue would feel warm, the heat lingering for a bit. The top edge of the cake had crisped up, so breaking into the center was that much more satisfying. The chocolate center oozed out and coated the rest of the cake, and I dug in.
With that, I placed my dishes quietly in the sink, and slithered off to bed. I really didn't wanna talk about the technicalities of my food right now. All I wanted was a nice dinner. So much for getting away from everything. I washed my face and stared into the mirror for a while. I still had the scar on my temple. It was small, but you'd notice it if you looked at my face for more than a moment. That scar made me angry everytime I saw it. I worked hard on covering it up every day.
Without my makeup, I looked different. I didnt do much besides a little eye makeup and some concealer so I didnt look so tired.. but it made enough of a difference once it was gone. My false auburn hair had finally reached my ears. I cut it all off a few months back and was growing it out. When I moved into my new place, I dyed it a vibrant auburn color. My roots were coming in, of course.
I was always given a hard time because of my looks. Not necessarily because people thought I was ugly, they always thought I was angry. My face was made up of sharp angles. High cheekbones, a heart shaped face with a cutting jawline and a pointed chin. The softest part of my face was my nose. Small and button-like, I always hated it. My eyebrows had a high arch, but pointed inward, so no matter what I kinda looked like an angry face. My lips were thin with a bit of a pout. And a prominent cupids bow on top. I had big eyes, which only made the tiredness that much more noticeable. I had bags under my eyes so bad that it looked like they were sunken in. That probably meant that I should be getting more sleep. I rubbed the scar on my temple and saundered off to bed.
The next morning, I pretty much planned to stay in my room until I'd heard Malcom leave. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like he planned on going anywhere that day. I dragged myself to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. I applied my makeup for the day, and got dressed in a t shirt and some shorts. I wasnt looking to impress anyone. I grabbed my phone and walked out into the livingroom. Malcom was sat on the couch, reading my cookbooks. Who reads cookbooks? He turned and looked at me and hopped off the couch. "Good morning to you!" He said cheerfully, handing me a cup of coffee.
It was clear that Malcom waited around all morning to have a talk with me about my cooking. He jumped straight into it. Malcom was portly man. Tall, but he had a round face that looked like he forgot how to shave. He would be an intimidating presence had he not been smiling all the time. He was large with dark eyes and hair, and pretty much opposite me. While I was small and scrawny, with sharp features; He was tall and round with very soft features all across. All that aside, he spoke clearly and diplomatically. It was obvious that he took this seriously.
"So." He started, his smile disappearing for the first time since I'd met him at the door. "The asparagus was good, but you didn't drain the oil from the bacon, so some pieces of it got soggy on the ends..." and so started my first real critique of a meal I'd made. He told me about both the cooking and taste testing experience he had, and impressed as I was, I still felt a little insulted by his presence.
Once we had talked for what felt like hours, he offered to make brunch for the two of us. "I don't want this to feel like some.. business partnership or something." He said gently. "I want to be a good roommate, and I think we'll get along well. But that doesn't mean I cant help improve your cooking along the way." He turned and smiled. As much as I felt uneasy, the warmth in his smile felt real. I decided I'd give it a shot.
The next few months felt like a blur. Constantly churning out dish after dish, night after night. Taking the time at night to just enjoy the food, then discussing it over brunch the next morning. Of course, meals and brunch didn't happen everyday. We both worked differing hours after all. The days that we had the chance actually ended up being really nice. Malcom liked to read cookbooks for fun, as I found out over time. He would use a pen and add in comments, possible adjustments or additions, and whether or not he'd tried the recipe. It's something I never thought of doing, even though I had probably over a dozen cookbooks lying about.
During one of our midweek brunches, the doorbell rang yet again. Nobody ever really came by the apartment, as neither of us knew many people from the area. It was probably another package. Not the monthly box though, so what could this one be? I opened the door swiftly and stared back at yet another postman holding a large box. "For ehhh, Edie?" He asked, with an accent I couldn't quite place. "That'd be me." I said, signing and taking the package from him.
The box was heavy this time. It felt like it was filled with weights. I really didnt know what to expect out of it. It had the same handwriting the first letter I got had, so obviously it was sent by the same person. Too bad people don't handwrite things as much anymore, I may have recognized it. Oh well. I called to Malcom to ask for help getting the box inside. He stumbled through the hallway and excitedly asked "Is it here?!" He was practically bouncing. "Yes.." I started. "But I wont open it until you tell me what's in it." I kept as straight a face as I could muster. "Supplies." He told me, simply shrugging off my question. I rolled my eyes, and rummaged around to find the letter opener.
Upon opening the box, I realized why Malcom didn't get specific about what was in the package. It was cooking supplies. Pots, pans, utensils, appliances, electronics, pretty much anything you could dream of needing all neatly tucked away in this box like a game of tetris. I looked over at him suspiciously. "What exactly is this about?" I asked. He reached in, and opened up a little mini grill. Inside the grill was, you guessed it. Another letter.
"Hey again Edie. There's something I didn't tell you about this cooking contest. You're entered, but so is your new roommate. Malcom has a plethora of experience cooking food. He's fascinated by the world of cooking, but in no way is it his passion. It's yours. It always has been. That being said. The prize for winning this cooking contest, as you know.. is a full year of all expenses paid travel. All around the world. Focused centrally on the culinary high points in different countries, it's a perfect opportunity for a chef. You and Malcom have had plenty of time to watch each other's cooking and understand a little about the type of dishes you'll want to make. I expect you will take that into consideration. Also keep in mind, that I will be there. For the whole duration of the contest. Do me proud Edie. Do us all proud. You deserve this. Malcom even knows that. That doesn't mean he will hold back though! Good luck! -A friend"
I finished reading, and folded the letter slowly back up into its envelope. I stared blankly into the box, placed the envelope back in where it came from and started to walk away. Malcom stopped me with "What's the matter? Isn't this exciting! We get to compete!" And smiled at me.
He had the audacity to smile at me. After months of manipulating me, watching me, judging me, now he was going to compete with me for my absolute life's dream? You had to me kidding me. I rolled my eyes and went to walk away again. "Edie!" He exclaimed at my back. Without control over my own feet, I stopped and turned at my heels. I stomped over to him, and kicked the box over in the process.
"Edie? You dont have ANY right to call me Edie! Just who do you think you are? I've worked my whole life to be where I am right now. I've walked through HELL in order to get to this point.." by now, I'd started shouting without noticing it. "I probably still have blisters on the soles of my feet from walking through the embers! And you want to try and take that from me? Why do you think I moved here? Why do you think I've got no friends? It's not because I simply didn't want them. I was forced out of my NORMAL life, by some crazy person who decided that what I wanted wasnt good enough! I worked my ass off in that kitchen for 3 years! And one crazy guy comes in, and effectively ruins not only my whole career, but my life as i knew it, in my own home town!" I could feel my face getting hot, and I tried to stop myself, but the words kept flowing. "OH but you already knew that didnt you? Whoever this person is, they told you my personal business and now you're here exploiting that for your own personal gain! I didnt deserve anything that I went through and I know that now, but even to this day, it makes me a little sick to think too much about cooking. That bastard stole my passion from me, and here you are, and whoever the hell this other person is discrediting that. This is absolutely abhorrent!"
I huffed, and felt a tear slide down my cheek. It was hot against my skin and I only felt angrier. I kicked the box again, effectively hurting my foot in the process, and stormed off to my room. My vision was immediately blurred with tears once the door was closed. I wandered into the bathroom to splash my face with cool water. Staring at myself in the mirror, I rubbed the scar on my temple again. I didn't have the energy to be mad about it right now. I thought back on everything that happened.
I worked for a high end restaurant in my home town. I started low on the food chain, just working the bar. It was fine with me. But I put in the effort, and I made my way up to being one of the sous chefs. All I had ever wanted was to be a chef. It took me over 2 years, but I had finally been recognized as head chef once my predecessor retired. I was head chef for about 4 months, when a man came in one day. He ordered a meal, just as anyone else did. He requested it be made specifically by the head chef. I was honored, of course.
Honored as I was, it as I would find out, was the wrong move. I got behind on other duties in the kitchen, and ended up being chewed out by my boss. Naturally, this man came back a few times. He would request I make his meal. Eventually he had learned when I would be working. He asked to speak with me directly. I felt nerves settle in as I approached the dining room. He thanked me profusely and ranted and raved about how wonderful the food was. He said he was surprised to see a beautiful lady behind these tasty dishes he had been eating for so long.
A week passed and he hadn't come by the restaurant at all, which after a couple months of consistency was very odd. Suddenly, he was there for every single one of my shifts. I would go into the dining room every time, and he would thank me directly. It really inflated my ego. That was around the time I got another job offer. Here, in the city I'm in now. I love the hustle and bustle of the city anyway, so I told everyone about it. Including this man. He was less than excited. I chalked it up to the fact that he would miss my food. I was wrong.
That was the night that I got followed home from my shift at work. He walked next to me once I got closer to my house, and begged me not to leave. He was frantic by the time I got to my block. "Please, don't leave, you don't understand what I'll do if you leave." He said, stepping in front of me. I got scared, but I still kept calm on the surface. "Haha... I have to.. it's better pay, and it's in the city, which I prefer anyway." I trailed off as he stared at me. He looked incredibly angry. There was a tension in the air that I couldn't handle. "Um, I'll be on my way now.." I said, side stepping to get past him. He started laughing, a dry, calculated laugh. I felt chills run down my spine. This was the moment he attacked me. I'll spare the details. What you need to know, is this man had a knife, and that is how I wound up with this scar on my temple. He was frantic and obsessive, and his latest obsession was me. With a history of harming others, I was surprised he was walking around openly with no awareness of the things he'd done.
I was in the hospital overnight after getting stitches for the slash. Had he hit me an inch over, he would've done permanent damage.
After that, I took all my vacation time from work so I could get my pay, and accepted the job as head chef at this new restaurant. I had a few months of leeway with the restaurant due to "trauma". What trauma? Some crazy guy swung a knife about and hit me once. He ran, and got away with it. Haven't heard anything since. It was months upon months without cooking. I was ordering takeout the majority of the time specifically to avoid it. It just made me sick to think that doing what I loved, hurt me.
I looked back into the mirror and sighed. I guess it was bed time. Was I angry that Malcom had come to judge me? At first, yeah. But I grew to appreciate it. I grew as a cook because of it. And, it helped me finally start cooking again. Putting the passion back into it, instead of running on auto pilot. I was mostly angry that he hid things from me. He knew about a very personal thing, and never mentioned it. He had planned to compete with me on this, the whole time.. and I had no clue. That's what made me angry. How slimy. I turned out the light, even though it was hardly sunset and I called it a night.
I slept from about 7pm until around 4am. I tried to go back to sleep, but I had already slept too much. I was groggy, but grossly aware that I was now awake. I laid around in my bed for an hour before rolling out and waltzing into the livingroom. Malcom was gone. I wondered if he'd gone to a hotel or something for the night. No matter. I took my time and I cleaned up the house. Finally, came the box. Malcom had put everything back exactly the way it came, aside from one small detail. There was a new note.
"Edith, I'm sorry I lied to you. Your friend honestly believed if you had a surprise competition, you'd be inspired to cook at your highest. I dont know you well enough to know how you handle things like this. I was convinced without first getting to know you. And for that I am sorry. As far as your personal business, I don't know. Whatever happened, I've got no details. I just knew that you'd been through the ringer and stopped cooking because of it. That part made me sad. People should always pursue their passions. That being said, I've gone out for the night. I'll be back tomorrow with groceries. Please rest up, and we can talk tomorrow. - Malcom"
I sat on the floor and fiddled with the note for a long time. Maybe I'd over reacted. This was a hard topic for me to jump right into. And this was not the way to go about it. Anyone who knew me, should know that. It really made me wonder who it could be. Someone I worked with? No? I was sat cross legged on the floor, chewing on my nail when the doorknob rustled. I glanced up at the clock. It was 10am. I dont know how or when that happened, but it did. Malcom fumbled through the door with arms full of groceries. He would've tripped over me if I didnt squeak out a small "hello".
I picked myself up off the floor.. I should more say I plucked myself off the floor. I was so reluctant to have this conversation. Malcom called to me from the kitchen and quietly asked if I'd help put away the groceries. We sorted everything in silence together. Once everything was all put away, he looked over at me tentatively. "What do you say we both cook something? For brunch?"
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Both of us?" He formed a small smirk on his lips and he said "Yeah, I wanna see what I'm competing against." I laughed abruptly. "You are going down." I said, tying my hair in a ponytail. "I see the competitive spirit still lives." Malcom said, rubbing his hands together in a mockingly evil way.
Once we started cooking, it was like I'd never left cooking behind. I missed cooking side by side with people who had the same passions as me. As much as Malcom saw it more as a fascination, he still had fun doing it. And that was always important to me. I checked on what ingredients he had, trying to see if I could gather what he was making. He huddled over his part of the counter and shook his head no. Rolling my eyes, I got to work on my food.
I had a whole plan for this brunch. I was going to make home made honey waffles, fried eggs with runny yolks, and some fresh hash on the side. I had a small idea of what Malcom was going to make, but I wasn't sure. He was hiding from me after all. I smiled to myself. This was going to go well. If he made what I thought he was going to, there was no way he'd beat out what I was making. No way. I timed out cooking everything down to the last detail so that once I was finished, it would all still be hot.
Malcom finished a few minutes before me, and left his dish on a hot plate so it wouldnt get cold while he waited for me. He'd done exactly what I figured he would. Eggs Benedict. It was not only his favorite brunch food to eat, but also his favorite to make. It was always top of the line ingredients, and definitely top of the line quality. Whatever, I couldnt let that falter me right now. I was almost done. Just down to the plating now.
Most people like to speak ill of plating. "It's pointless to make a plate look pretty when I'm just gonna mess it all up anyway." Yes, but visual appeal is such a huge part of a dish. I plated everything up neatly, and placed my dish on the counter. Each of us had split our servings down the middle. We wanted to taste each other's dishes, but we needed the comparison. We agreed to taste Malcom's dish first, to keep the flavor as fresh as possible.
I wasn't kidding when I told you that Malcom made high quality eggs Benedict. He did something different this time. He used quail eggs. And instead of English muffins he used... crumpets? As always, he used a cut of thick ham, and lightly pan seared it. The hollandaise sauce was perfected as always, but this time he used a spicy paprika instead of any run of the mill paprika like in the past. There was this fresh acidic lemon burst, then a small kick of heat to the back of your throat to follow it up. The quail eggs made the dish that much richer to counteract all the acidity from the sauce. Then there was the ham. It was a smoked ham this time. He smoked it himself, he'd told me. Amazing. And the crumpets? Buttered slightly, but otherwise untouched. They were perfectly toasted as they could be. Malcom was a purist with this eggs Benedict and it showed. The velvety, buttery, acidic, and smoky taste of one bite could have sent me straight to heaven. Okay. So.. I had a little more competition than I'd anticipated. We finished up our servings and quietly stared at our plates for a moment. Then came my turn.
"Why am I so nervous?" I thought to myself, shaking it off. As good as Malcom's food was, I knew mine stood a pretty good chance. I'd made the waffle batter like any other waffle batter. The difference was, I added raw honey to the batter itself. On top of that, when I put it in the waffle iron, I sprinkled honeycomb bits on the surface and let them settle before I let it cook down. This gave the waffles a soft sweetness throughout, with little bursts of honey flavor in assorted bites. They were fluffy, but golden brown on all the edges. They held up to the sauce well. Instead of going with a typical maple syrup, I'd made a orange syrup to glaze them. The orange also paired well with the hash. Potatoes, yellow onions, red & green bell peppers, and a little bit of citrus juice. I'd fried everything up together in one pan, so it could absorb all the flavors together. The sweetness of the yellow onions and bell peppers would be what harmonized these parts of the dish. The eggs themselves weren't anything too special, but I still used a slightly more advanced method than normal to fry them. I browned the butter with salt & pepper in the pan, then cracked the eggs in. The edges of the eggs crisped up, leaving the whites firm, and the yolks gave a pleasant burst. The yolk mixed in with the hash and left the last few bites of the dish with a rich savory vibe.
Malcom and I both finished our food and glanced over at each other. We nodded, and cleaned our plates. I knew it would come down to the technical process of the dish. Where my dish was delicious, Malcom's was clearly more sophisticated as a whole. I knew I'd lost this one. But that was how I cooked. Sure, I knew how to elevate it. I just didnt like to make everything complicated if I didnt have to. We started discussing the different aspects of each dish, and it was unanimously decided. Malcolm's dish was superior. We spent the next couple of hours talking ingredients, and methods to which we would be cooking. I'd forgotten all about everything that had happened between us.
The next day was the big discussion. Malcom had mended things temporarily by offering up some old fashioned competition. Now it was time to get down to the nitty gritty. We talked about the contest, now only about 2 months away. We also talked about the why behind my loss of passion. The final thing we talked about was the fact that he'd hidden his involvement from me. I confided that I'd been hurt by his actions. The conversation was solemn, and just a little too overly personal. It did however, prepare me for what was to come. The person who had kicked everything off was also going to be in the contest beside us. What a turn out. If this mystery person was encouraging me to cook, as well as sending me all my favorite kitchen gear.. chances are, they knew what they were doing.
Two months went by in an instant. I didn't know that an entire six months could feel like a few weeks. Even after everything, it still didn't feel like half a calendar year. The final two months were over before they even started. It was 2 days before the contest. Malcom had taught me a lot in the 5 months he spent as my roommate and mentor. He became incredibly critical of my dishes the last couple months, in order to prepare me for the contest. The contest was named "The SilverWare & Tear". Apparently the play on words drew people's attention? Maybe not in the best way. Anyway, the point of the contest was to create one cohesive complete dish.
I spent the final two days with Malcom, doing nothing but perfecting the basics of cooking. He kept insisting that I should work on the specific dish I'd be making. I knew better. He'd have an edge. I wouldn't be doing that. So if I could perfect all the little technicalities of the dish, it would come out that much stronger in the end.
The morning approached, and I hopped into the car with all the personal equipment I was allowed to bring. One cooking pan/pot/dish, one electronic or handheld appliance, and one ingredient from home. It gave everyone the little personal gain they would want, without overdoing the advantage. 3 hours later, I had made it to the venue.
After I'd made my rounds, meeting the other competitors and judges, I tried to find Malcom. It was to no avail. I also noticed that I didn't see a single face I recognized. Whoever this mystery person was, they werent going to show their face until the actual competition started. Fine by me. I worked hard. I wanted this so badly. My passion was finally back and it was a roaring wildfire. I wouldn't go down so easy.
I waded through waves of people to get to the staging area. Did I ever mention I suck in large crowds? Yeah, I started to get nervous. I thought about the dish I would be making today. I hadn't once practiced it with Malcom. Matter of fact, he didnt have a clue what I'd be making. I made sure of that. But I knew this dish. It was going to be the best dish I'd made to date. It was my signature. I hadn't made it since that night. That was the last time. Now why on earth would I end my signature dish on that note? The tunnel vision started as I found my station. I sifted through faceless bodies without a second thought. There it was. I was at my station.
The amount of people in the venue was insane. I never knew so many people gave even half a mind to cooking. That doesn't even include all the chefs. I was one out of maybe a dozen on the floor. I made my way over to the pantry and began grabbing all my ingredients. I also grabbed quite a few things that I absolutely wouldnt be needing, in order to keep people off my cooking trail. I stuffed everything in assorted places around my station and gathered up all the dishes I'd be using for prep.
Waiting to start was the hardest thing I'd ever endured. I have such little patience and that was not helping at all. Once it was time, they started the clock. You had 3 hours to complete your dish. That included prep, cooking, and plating. Not a lot of time when you'd be making 5 servings of something complicated. No matter. I had this. I started by cutting up all my veggies. Once all my prep work was finished, I pulled out my secret weapon. I had a cast iron skillet I'd used the entirety of my time cooking. I got it for Christmas when I was 16, so it had almost 20 years of use on it. I seasoned & oiled it every time I used it, so it had soaked up the flavors of pretty much everything I'd ever taken the time to cook in it.
I took my time with the prep, to make sure everything was perfectly prepped before starting to cook. It didnt take me as long to cook and season everything. I'd done this a million times over. My dish was something so simple. I had elevated it several times over. At home, at the old restaurant, and in my free time while I used to work there. It was a sandwich. Not just any old sandwich of course. And I had my sides. The bread was baked fresh and made from scratch. I made Rye bread, with sunflower seeds baked into the crust. I'd seen it done a million times, but never had I had it fresh. Not until I did it myself. As for the meat, I had a butcher take apart some cuts for me, and I cured it myself. That was my cutting edge ingredient. Since I was balancing flavors very delicately here, I made certain not to salt cure the meat like many delis did. I used dandelion greens as well as baby spinach as the fresh component. Dandelion is as bitter as they come, whereas spinach has a very light taste. Of course, no high end sandwich came with just some meat & leaves right? Of course not. I also pickled some hot peppers in a brine made to simultaneously bring out the heat and the underlying sweetness. The pickled peppers would be the perfect thing to couple with the shredded chicken and pork. Why both chicken and pork? Well, chicken absorbs flavor pretty easily. Standalone, chicken is painfully mild as far as flavor is concerned. But pork has a high fat content, and a prominent meaty flavor. Combining the two, I could both absorb flavors while maintaining texture, and contrast flavors while giving the buttery texture of the fat. Like I said, I had worked this sandwich over and over again.
I kept working on my sandwich, adding in the last few ingredients, and I was ready to work on the side. The great thing about the sandwich, was the fresh factor. Everything about this stayed fresh in the right temperature. I didnt have to worry about keeping it hot or cold. It was perfect as soon as I finished it, and would stay that way until it hit the judge's bellies. My side was a little more temperamental. That one required the right temperature or else it wouldnt be pleasant. I should say, temperatures. The hook that I had on this dish, was that the side was contrasting. The base was hot, and I mean scalding hot. While the topping was meant to be served ice cold. The idea was to deliver a shock to the mouth of whoever was eating it. The cold hitting the roof of your mouth, the aromatics hitting your nose most directly. The hot hitting your tongue, and the flavor hitting your throat at the same time. It created this perfect harmony between scent and flavor, hot and cold, etc. That was the working theory anyway. If it wasnt served just right, it turned into a lukewarm mess. And it didnt taste nearly the same. I had to be careful.
Time was up. I looked down at my plate, and stepped back as I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Let's not ruin the food now by crying all over it, Edith. The judges called for me, and I had a few people step up to help me present my dish to the judges. I never in my life, felt more nervous than that moment. So much was riding on this. Mostly my dignity. A lot of my passion for cooking, too. I mean, the prize wouldnt be bad either... it was kinda always my dream. Oh god, stop day dreaming Edith! This is real, it's here, it's happening.
The judges looked down at the plate emotionlessly. A short woman called out abruptly. "Tell us about the food." She cawed. Wow, she was intimidating. Short, with long black hair and eyes that I couldve sworn were made of ice. Steel gray, with little remorse in them. She looked like she belonged overlooking the city from a skyscraper. Not judging food. "Ah, yes." I said, my voice shaking notably. "I've made you all a chicken and pork sandwich with pickled peppers, dandelion greens, baby spinach, olive oil vinaigrette, and a chili lime spritz. The bread is fresh Rye, with sunflower seeds to accent. The side you have there is a little more complex. It's a hot potato cake, made with shredded red potatoes, onions, and scallions, with a goat cheese frozen cream on top. I request that you at least try a bite of the side, before digging into the sandwich."
I stepped back and looked to my feet. I didnt want to watch them eat my food. I would get the results after. If I watched I would only be more nervous. Suddenly, I heard clapping. I looked up to see the cold woman who called out to me, standing on her feet. She had cleaned the plate in its entirety. She was applauding me. "I knew I recognized you." She said, giving me a smile. "I would know that dish anywhere. I'm glad I got to taste it again." With that, she sat back and smiled to herself, clearly satisfied. In awe, I whispered "thanks..." and scrambled off back to my station to watch the rest of the judging.
Malcom came up after what felt like 50 other people. Of course, everyone loved his food. He smiled politely, turned on his heel, and sat on the counter of his station. He was so confident in his ability, but I knew something was up. A few more people went through judging and we were onto the final person. He was an older man, about the same height as me. Plain as day, he didn't look like he would stand out in a field of dead grass, let alone be in a contest like this. He had pale blonde hair, muted blue eyes, a small posture, pale skin, and a quiet voice. I scoffed to myself. There was no way this would offer any real competition. He didnt even look like he wanted to be here. Once they finished his food, all 5 judges simultaneously thanked him for cooking for them. Who the hell was this guy? I'd never seen him before.
The final judging took about 2 total hours. How they were going to judge so many chefs on just one dish each, I couldnt understand. Everyone met in the common room to wait for the judging to finish. You could feel the nerves simmering in everyone. A few were boiling over. Then you had the people who were laughing and enjoying themselves. I wasnt sure where I fit in with this group. I gravitated toward Malcom. I knew him, after all. Not as well as I'm sure others did, but I spent almost 6 straight months living with him. He was with the uninteresting guy. Now I'd find out who he was. "Edie!!" Said the small guy. "What? Who.. do I know you?" I asked, shocked. He approached me directly. Up close, he was a lot taller than he seemed. I think it was probably his posture. "Not directly," he started cautiously. "you did however used to work for me. My name is Benny."
I let the name settle for a moment, and then I realized. He had been the chef before me! He was the chef that coined about 12 different dishes at my old restaurant. I took over for him, without ever seeing his face. I never realized this, but the way the kitchen was set up didnt allow for the head chef to really interact with the sous chefs. I started to piece together where I'd seen his face before. Since he was so.. plain looking, it wasn't very memorable. He had dined at the restaurant several times since I'd taken over. He always raved about the food to the servers. I never thought a single thing about it.
My stomach did flips. "Benny. As in.. my predecessor..as in the Benny who had 12 signature dishes. As in..." my sentence was drowned out by the laughter from both him and Malcom. "WHAT, is so funny?!" I asked, my voice cracking. "You're sweet, Edie." Benny said. "I loved the way you cooked all my dishes. I loved the dish you made signature to you. You came such a long way. And the food you made was always custom to you. Knowing that you stopped cooking, it hurt me. I missed having the passion in the food I loved to eat. When you left, so did a part of the restaurant. That's why I did this. I didn't think youd take well to a total stranger begging you to start cooking again. So I turned it into a game. And here you are. In the top of the game. With a real chance of winning. I'm not actually entering today. I was here as a favor to the judges. They asked for me personally. Good luck out there Edie." He finished with a small push against my shoulder.
It was time. Benny stepped out ahead of all of us. "Guess it's time for me to announce." He said through a smile, and walked off. I stopped dead in my tracks. He was announcing? That would mean that if I didnt win, he would be totally disappointed in me. He did this, for me. Oh God. Calm down Edith, it's not that serious.. breathe. Malcom put his hands on my shoulders and nudged me forward. I walked back out to the staging area and toward my station. Before I even reached my station, Benny had started his little speech.
"Hello everyone!" He said, enthusiastically. For being so small, he had quite the charisma right now. "Don't you all love surprises? Well I've got one for you now! Whoever wins this contest, gets to take ONE guest! The stipulation is that it must be another competitor from Silver Wear & Tear. On top of traveling to culinary centers of the world, you will also be taking 3 classes in each place. Of course again, all paid for. Boarding or housing is taken care of, travel expenses are taken care of, and your 3 meals for the day are taken care of. So even if you dont win, you have the opportunity! Two of you will be going! That all being said, who is ready to get the results of the judging? We will announce the top 3, starting at the bottom, going to the top." He shifted to grab a note from the cold lady. She walked back to her spot and winked into the crowd. Her appearance and personality hardly matched.
"And.. to the third place, I give you my congratulations! Edith Thomas!" Benny cheered and motioned for me to come forward. My heart sank, while at the same time, I felt like I was light headed. This couldnt be real. I hadn't cooked for so long and.. 3rd place? That was amazing! But I didnt win... but i proved something.. people would know my name. My legs began to shake as Benny motioned for me to bow. I had no idea how to feel right now. I wanted to be excited because I'd placed so high among all these active chefs.. but a part of me felt sick because I had worked so hard with nothing to show for it. I took my bow and saundered off back to my station.
The next two names werent names that I knew. I figured as much, there were a lot of high tier chefs that came out to this competition each year. They called the top 3 up to the judges table after the names had been called. The number 2 got offered a job as head chef for one of the judges restaurants. What an honor. I got a medal. It had a cute little carving of a bowl of ramen on it. The back was engraved with a quote. "A recipe has no soul, you as the cook bring soul to the recipe."
It was actually quite beautiful. I was happy with that. The cold lady approached me. "My name is Chloe." Oh how fitting. She extended her hand. I took it gracefully. "I used to eat at your restaurant all the time, you know. I mostly ate there when Benny worked there. But once he retired I decided I would try the new head chef on for size. I asked for your speciality. They told me that it was still experimental. But that sandwich, miss Thomas. Every time I ate it, it improved bit by bit. This time? It almost moved me to tears. You have come so far. Be proud." She ended with a small hug.
I never knew that so many people recognized me for my food. After that night, I took compliments with a grain of salt. Sure, before then I had patrons give their thanks to the chef, but I'd never taken it to heart. I figured they were being polite. Foolishly, I started crying. Well, that caused a hell of a scene. Benny came up to me and hugged me. Malcom jumped his station and ran over to ask me if I was okay. All of this only made me cry harder. I missed this. I missed this feeling. Cooking itself, and the unity that cooking brought between chefs. The best friendships I'd built had been with those in the kitchen with me those few years. I missed my friends. I missed me. This felt so right, it just had me in tears. I couldn't help myself. The emotions passed and everyone backed off to let me breathe.
The person who'd won then approached me. I knew his name. They chanted it. Everyone in the venue was chanting it after it was announced. Darren Terrance. What an unfortunate name. It made for a great chant though. "Excuse me?" He said in a surprisingly sweet voice. "Edith Thomas, yeah?"
I nodded slowly and looked up to meet his eyes. He smiled at me. "You're probably my favorite chef." That took me aback. He laughed and looked into my eyes again. "My little sister loved your food. We didn't get to go out to eat real often, but when we did, she almost always wanted to go to your restaurant. She was a picky eater, but your food.. it was always perfect. One of your meals, was the last she'd eaten." He still smiled through his words. "She passed in a car accident about an hour after we left dinner. I will never forget that day though. She was so happy. She was singing and dancing about the food in the car when we were on our way home."
He knelt in front of me. "Thank you." He said, looking back up to my face. He had tears in his eyes. "Thank you for giving my baby sister a good final day here." Then he held out a paper to me. The tickets. My mouth fell open. "I want you to experience this with me. I want you to show me how to cook food like you do. So I can make dinner for my family sometime. Please, I would be honored."
I honestly had no words. It was the first time I'd ever been truly speechless. He had just won this prestigious contest... and he wanted to learn from me? I opened my mouth a couple times like I was about to say something, but no words came out. "I understand if you need time to think it over." Darren said, looking concerned. "No no its not that!" I found my voice. "I just.. I cant believe it. You want me? To teach you? Its unbelieveable." I chuckled softly and looked down at my feet. "But... I would be honored if you would have me." And with a smile, we embraced. "I can't tell you how exciting this is!" Darren said. Benny stepped over. "Now, Mr.Terrance you have some paperwork that needs to be completed before you can take off. Follow me."
Malcom came up from behind me and slapped my back playfully. "I guess it's a good thing I held back huh Edie?" I turned on him. "Held back?!" I practically shouted. "Haha. Yeah. If I didnt, I would've definitely placed in top 3. And that darrence guy never would've known your name! Youd be stuck here forever!" Malcom had a grin on his face to tell me he was trying to push my buttons. I wasnt afraid to push back. "Darren. And at least people know our names..who are you again? Marshall..?" I said playfully, and tossed my hair over my shoulder. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare some paperwork so I can follow through on my dreams. Unlike some of us." I stuck my tongue out and skipped away. Undignified as it was, hearing his laughter fill the staging area had my cheeks hurting from smiling so big.
I dont know when it happened, but I'd made real friends doing this. I found a new passion for food, stronger than ever before. Doing this... Something I was so reluctant about. Something I despised with every fiber of my being to begin with... ended up being the... 2nd best experience of my life. I had the world to travel after that! Anyway, this is where my story ends. Because, well. It's also where my journey begins.
Wish me luck out there.
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