“Don’t get any ideas, sunshine - you ain’t allowed anywhere near me until you brush ya damn teeth, y’hear me?” “Heh…”

(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of Daroach and Dark Meta Knight having a snack break and learning about certain food preferences. Transcript below the cut. END ID.)

Hey, did you guys know that Daroach canonically hates tomatoes? And DMK barely has any flavor text pertaining to him whatsoever? That means it’s my city now, hehe.

(Also heckin’ around with colored text bubbles. I think it looks neat - what do y'all think?)

UPDATE 03/01/24: Changed DMK's cape from gray to dark red.

Started 02/03/24, finished 02/05/24. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 02/05/24.

—

Transcript:

Panel 1

*DR (left) and DMK (right) sitting side by side on a simple platform facing the viewer, brown paper bags at their sides, a few bits of food on their faces; DR sits with a half-slice of watermelon in both paws, a bite taken out of it, dripping pink juice; DMK - wearing his cape instead of his wings, his mask taken off and set to the side - sits leaning back on one hand and holding a tomato in the other, a bite taken out of it, dripping red-orange juice*

DR: (looking over at DMK, brow cocked) Is that- Dark, are you just eatin’ a raw tomato?

DMK: (mouth full, glancing at DR in disinterest) Mhm, what about it?

Panel 2

*DMK casually tosses the tomato into the air, leaning back and opening his mouth wide to catch it, one incisor prominent; DR grimaces in painfully clear disgust, his ears drooping, and scoots away from him (text popping up beside him reading “cringe”)*

Panel 3

*DMK turned to grin smugly at DR while wiping tomato juice from his mouth, staining the back of his glove; DR continues to lean away from him, giving him a rather deadpan glare, moving the melon slice to one paw and pointing a claw at him with the other*

DR: Ya lucky you’re so attractive, ya friggin’ trash fire.

15 Normal questions

Tagged by @velvethopewrites thanks for the tag! I was totally prepared to comment I’d already done 15 questions but I hadn’t done these! You have no idea how happy I was made by these.

1. Do you prefer owls, capybaras, or flamingos?

Owl. Hands down. I have 250 different species to choose from and they’re all fabulous.

2. What is your favorite soup?

This question right here: the best. I have recently been in some soup discourse so am happy to be able to share my soup preferences because soup is good all the time! When I’m sick I like to go traditional with a simple tomato soup 🥫 but my partner also makes this like amazing spiced pumpkin soup that is just *chefs kiss*

3. What is your favorite…rock (idfk)?

Okay so I’m engaged to a Earth scientist so rocks and dirt are his thing. Specifically he has a rock collection. He’s that kind of nerd and I love him for it. So I think my favourite rocks is one he picked up on a beach date with me and added to his collection, it’s the stripey one pride of place in his office.

4. Choose a familiar:

very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. He loves you but will never listen to you ever

a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurant

a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks

Dogs are kinda my jam. I prefer dogs to most people.

5. Which planet do you feel like would be kind of an asshole if you met them?

Uranus… I mean it’s in the name isn’t it?

6. if you were a worm would you love me?

If I was a worm? I dunno. I’d probably be too invested in finding all the good food.

7. Least favorite type of clothing?

I too am not a fan of the bra. I am unfortunately part of the big titty committee. That means I get very limited options in terms of colour and sexiness… unless I wanna pay an arm and a leg and I am broke as it is. I just want justice for ALL TITS. Let me get the cute Valentine’s Day lingerie sets in my size dammit it (and not have it break the bank).

8. You are now in a horror movie-so sorry. Chance of survival?

Eh 3-5? I have a lot of anxiety and over think everything, but I also would find myself incapable of leaving my friends behind so I guess we did together.

9. Would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache, or ability to talk to vegetables?

Grow a perfect mustache. I could be the envy of men everywhere. Plus I don’t need my food talking to me begging for mercy before I devour it.

10. What do you think of whales?

I think my house decor speaks for itself

But can you tell me what irritates me about the orcha in that picture? Because I bet it would drive you nuts too if you noticed.

This one ☝🏻 was painted for my birthday several years ago by a uni friend and it hangs in my bedroom.

Tagging: @abihastastybeans , @practicecourts , @annasghosts , @annabtg , @uncertainwallflower , @petalstofish and open tag

Not sure if you are taking ships right now but here goes:

I am 26 years old, 5’7, on the curvy side, tan, with long, wavy/curly hair dyed dark red. I have brown eyes and I have softer features, like a round/oval face, full lips and a button nose. I wear glasses quite often, and I don’t really wear a lot of makeup too much. I have multiple tattoos as well.

I’m a Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon, Virgo rising, and Libra venus. I am a queer woman (not yet out to my family though). I was in the military for 5 years, and now I am working towards a career in the aviation industry.

I have 3 dogs, I have a big garden in my backyard, and I love watching shows mostly on the history and science channel. I also love horror movies and comedies. Watching football is also one of my favorite things, and I grew up playing soccer for 12 years as well.

I have an expansive music taste, I grew up on bands like Metallica, Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Motley Crue, Journey, etc, but I also really love indie, folk, and alternative. And I love a lot of music from the 50’s-90’s, really 😅

I have a shy personality, I don’t drink, don’t go out much on my days off unless it’s shopping or going to the movies, I prefer staying at home and reading or watching tv. I will open up super fast if I feel comfortable enough with someone though. My favorite foods are curry, tomato soup, and tacos! Eventually I wanna move to Wisconsin where most of my family is, but I do love to travel! Korea and Germany have been my fav places to go so far (:

Anyway I think that’s it lol I’m super excited to see who you ship me with 😊

Heyyyy!!! I’m honestly the worst at getting to ships lately, but trust me I have been thinking about you and here it is—

I ship you with…

Danny ✨

I honestly struggled. Your interests screamed Sam, your music taste screamed Jake…. But to mesh the two together, I thought Danny would be a good fit ☺️

Danny would melt over your appearance. Your pouty lips and full figure 😍 He would not be able to keep his hands and eyes off of you. He’d always want to be showing you off even though he knows how reserved you can be. He would constantly compliment your natural beauty and admire the lack of make up you wear. Maybe a little mascara when you’re getting ready for an event. He’d notice immediately, telling you how it makes your eyes pop! (Danny of all the boys would love your tattoos. Grazing over them and commenting on how sexy they are 😏)

Being you are a Virgo and Danny a Capricorn, you are intensely compatible. You are both earth signs which creates for a relationship built on respect, stability, and intimacy. Danny would accept you for you and be able to support you when you are ready to come out to your family. Danny would admire your service and be so proud of your aviation career, to which Sam would geek over too!

Danny has big love for puppers so to have his own with you would fill his heart. He’d spoil them just like a kid. When he is home, he’d love to help you in the garden. Watering, trimming, and harvesting. Don’t imagine him playing around, plopping a floppy sun hat over his curls, and carrying a wicker basket to collect produce and a little bouquet for you 🌷You seem to have a good mix of educational and entertaining taste in movies, which Danny would enjoy. You’ll always keep him guessing. Also your interest in sports would trip his trigger. He’d fall so madly in love with you the first time you get talking sports.

Danny seems to have the most versatile taste in music, so anyone could bond with him over music. I can see him blaring 80s rock in his corvette while your hair blows uncontrollably in the wind! As social as Danny is, he’d appreciate staying in and soaking up the downtime he has outside of recording and touring. He’s cherish the nights you spend cuddling on the couch and having dinner in the backyard. Danny would treat you to homemade dinners all the time when he’s home. Making you all your favorites. Of course you’d indulge in them when he’s gone, but they hit different when he makes them. He’d whip up mean tacos and virgin margs! Even sporting a tiny sombrero you guys got on a trip to Mexico.

I hope you enjoyed your ship, lovely!!!! Please let me know what you think!! I always love to hear 💕

Oh, whatever. I need a distraction so I’ll answer all the question to that ask thingie post I reblogged like yesterday or so.

chipotle order? we don’t have chipotle here so i don’t have a chipotle order, but i suppose that chipotle is some kind of mexican food fast food restaurant? so i’ll say my usual burrito fillings when i make burritos at home: some kind of meat, chili beans, tomato, lettuce, grated emmentaler. avocado is appreciated but not always available, so.

thoughts on veganism? i think the only valid justification for veganism is “i am personally not comfortable eating animal products for whatever individual reason”. it’s not automatically the best (most sustainable) solution for humankind. i am italian, so we have a big production of animal products made by small, sustainable local producers. veganism does not make sense as a collective choice, only as a personal one, although one i don’t really understand personally. i respect vegans, of course, unless they publicly justify their choice by means of disgust. then that’s morally wrong, actually.

a specific color that gives you the ick? uuh none, really? it depends on where the color is and which colors are around it, i guess. not too fond of some kinds of turquoise, unless it’s, like, the sea.

mythical creature you think/believe is real? jensen ackles is apparently a succubus, so.

favorite form of potato? what’s next, my favorite child? what kind of question is this. potatoes sweeties i’m so sorry this post said this

do you use a watch? nope, just my phone.

what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium? already answered, but sharks because they’re sharks, and jellyfish because they’re pretty.

do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home? yep! i have sweatshirt and sweatpants combinations just for home. random ugly but comfy stuff in summer.

do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)? nope, just washing my face with soap and moisturizing if needed. i should moisturize my skin more, but i tend to forget and i only do it when my skin is visibly dry.

on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice? i only fly with european low cost companies, so nothing. i just buy a bottle of water in the airport.

anything from your childhood you’ve held on to? i’ve lived in my childhood home all my life, so, i guess the entire thing.

brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%? lush. expensive but worth it, especially the solid products. a solid shampoo lasts forever so it ends up saving you money. and everything smells so good.

first thing you’re doing in the purge? i’m too autistic for that. i suppose i could steal some soaps from lush. but i would feel bad about it. maybe steal from some luxury store. i’d feel less bad about it. then punch fascists in the face.

do you think you’re dehydrated? i always joke i’m going to die of water poisoning, so no.

rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning. apparently you die of suffocation from the smoke before actually burning (like joan of arc actually died of suffocation, not burning) but it still seems unpleasant. freezing they say is very painless, but you suffer the cold first and it’s slow. drowning seems really scary. honestly i’m going to skip this.

thoughts on mint chocolate chip? i used to be a fan of the mint-chocolate combo, nowadays not too much, dunno why. i only like mint in moroccan style tea.

an anxious compulsion you do everyday? does tumblr count?

your boba/tea order? depends on what i’m feeling and where i am buying it from. the usual place? rose milk tea with tapioca balls. fancy chinese places? classic milk tea or matcha milk tea with tapioca balls and red beans. in summer, mango tea.

the veggie you dislike the most? ball pepper.

favorite disney princess movie? cinderella.

a number that weirds you out? already answered (51).

do you have an emotional support water bottle? well, i have my water bottle. i’ll need to change it though, it was cheap and now it leaks a bit.

do you wear jewelry? usually no, only leather bracelets sometimes.

which do you find yourself using, american or british english? american, despite learning british english first.

would you say you have good taste in music? dean winchester would say yes.

how’s your spice tolerance? pretty good for someone from an area where there’s basically no spicy food! i grew my tolerance on chinese cuisine. not the spiciest of chinese cuisines, but quite spicy.

what’s your favorite or go-to outfit? one of my keith haring sweatshirts and jeans. or flannel shirt and pants. anything, really, as long as it’s good for cold weather. plus leather jacket.

last meal on earth? oh, difficult one! i’m such a big foodie, i love so many foods. but maybe if it was my last one... i’d go with pastina in brodo.

preferred pasta noodle? don’t call them pasta noodles, man, it’s weird as fuck. spaghetti or fusilli, depends on the sauce.

ask me anything ! i’ll ask myself... favorite fruit. mango, obviously the most expensive fruit that you can find where i live. life is pain :’)

☕🧃🍜🍉🥦🎉🎲🏐🐈‍⬛🌻🌧️🌍😊😈👥🖥️🎬📚🎶

Isn't this cheating? Whatever, let's go. Favorite hot drink: Persian cardamom tea with a few sugar cubes. Nostalgic and comforting.. Favorite cold drink: Mountain Dew White Out. They don't really sell it anymore, but god it's peak. Dish: Soltaani. A Persian dish, one barg kebab and one koobideh kebab served with basmati rice, a grilled tomato and sometimes salad Shirazi! We just.. make the best food. Hands down. If you ever get the opportunity to try Persian food, do not turn it down, you'd miss out on the best experience of your life. Fruit: Me, obvs. Okay but probably red pears!! Veggie: uh.. oh gods.. that's tough.. Potatoes??? Potatoes. Mmm... Holiday: Shaab-e Yalda, Halloween, and Bonfire Night are my favorites, in that order. Hard to pick just one, so there's my top 3! Game: Fuck. This is far too broad for me to pick, so I'm going to specify video games, and say Splatoon 2 and its Octo Expansion. That's the only game I got so into that I went to official sanctioned tournaments, and my god the story and setting of Octo Expansion still rings in my head as it did the day I finished it. Runners up include RockBand 3, Pokemon Silver and TF2.

Sport: Football! Er, soccer. It's very very popular back home, and it's the only physical sport that I got into growing up. I'd probably try it again if trans-friendly groups existed..

Animal: Me! Okay, rats. I adore rats so so much and I miss having them and they go "sqk sqk chitter" and give you licks n kisses and ask for attention and cuddle so good and aaaAAAA!!! in second place is the animal my sona is based on, the Asiatic Cheetah

Flower: IDK if it counts as a flower, but the pitcher plant is my favorite. God they're so cool, a carnivorous plant!! If I absolutely have to pick a flowering plant, Atropa Belladonna, also known as "Deadly Nightshade." God the flowers are beautiful, and it's poisonous!

Weather: Rain. I adore when it's raining so hard that you can't see past your face, I love hearing it pitter patter against all the surfaces around me, I love the smell that rises from the ground, I love the way life slows down for it.. Place: Home. Iran. Shiraz, specifically. Nobody is surprised. Blorbo: Ah.. What's a blorbo? Kind of favorite character from a franchise, I think? That doesn't make it much easier, though.. Probably Moxxie from Helluva Boss. Please don't hate me for this. Meow Meow: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Unless you just want me to... Mrrowr~! Nyaa~... Mrrrr.. Meowwr! Prrrh....

OTP: Not sure if I'm 100% on what this means but I think it's about ships, and my favorite ship is Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens. IDK how much it counts considering how verbosely that dynamic is actually written into the show, like. Part of the plot is them exploring their romantic feelings. But y'know. If they don't count, then it's Pearl and Marina from Splatoon hehehe TV Show: Good Omens. No contest. Movie: Everything Everywhere All At Once, Scott Pilgrim VS The World and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog all share my favorite spot. Sorry, can't pick one - management told me it's not allowed. Management is my fucked up brain, btw. Book: I AM A LIBRARY EMPLOYEE I CAN'T PICK A FAVORITE BOOK! ARE YOU INSANE?! But if I had to, it'd probably be Vinland Saga, the manga. I guess that's more of a book series, but whatever. Holy shit it's absolutely amazing. Few things make me feel as hard as that has. Musical artist: I AM A BASSIST I CAN'T PICK A FAVORITE MUSICIAN! ARE YOU INSANE?! But I can give you a top 5 in no particular order? Metallica, Lemon Demon, Mindless Self Indulgence, Jonathan Coulton, The Birthday Massacre. This was so hard to pick even just 5, but those are probably my biggest favorites.

You probably thought you were so clever for picking me so many and making me ramble about myself. Little did you know I love talking about myself, because I'm the best. Hah. thank you for asking me things I appreciate it I was worried nobody would I mean, I'm so cool.

When’s the last time you did an activity like a crossword or word search? Just a couple days ago! I haven't had the energy (mental or physical) to do any of my typical hobbies. So I bought an activity book for some short spurts of stimulation. They're pretty fun.

What holiday tradition do you find outdated or stupid? Just the whole idea that you owe someone time or energy "because they're family." I don't see the point in forced togetherness, especially if it usually ends in misery or drama!

What hairstyle (or hair color) looks ridiculous on just about everyone? A mullet, I guess. That's hard to pull off. But I think people these days wear them for the irony of it.

What food or drinks makes your teeth hurt? What a bizarre question. Sometimes tomato sauce makes my teeth and gums itch.

Are you old enough to gamble? What’s the last time you went into a casino (not necessarily to gamble)? I'm well past legal gambling age, but I've never been into it. I have too many other addictions and vices. But I was at a casino last year for a Killers show! It was a fun venue.

Is your wallet organized in any way or do you just throw stuff in there wherever? There are only a few cards in it, and no cash or anything else. So it's pretty easy to keep organized.

How far away is the bank you use from your house? Like a 3 minute drive.

Have you ever been to a shopping outlet (where all the stores have discounted merchandise)? When’s the last time you went? Did you buy anything? Yeah, I used to get such a thrill from places like that! I haven't been to one in a couple years though. And I couldn't tell you what I bought if my life depended on it.

The last restaurant you went to, what was their main cuisine (American, Japanese, what have you)? Mexican! One of my faves.

What do your sunglasses look like? I have about a half a million pairs.

Have you ever dealt with someone who defended what they were saying by simply stating they were a certain race or heritage so they were allowed to say whatever they were saying? How do you view people who do that? Yeah. I mean, you're allowed to make cheeky or even disparaging comments about your OWN community. The rules don't apply there. Unless your remarks come from a place of self-hatred, I guess. Then it gets more complicated.

Do you hate it when girls (or guys) enter stores with just a bathing suit on? I live in Rochester, New York so that's just not something I see here.

What type of jewelry do you or would you wear? I love rings, but thanks to pregnancy swelling, I can't wear them much anymore. I also love a good, dainty necklace. I went through a phase of hunting down vintage jewelry pieces a few months ago and I started a nice, small collection.

If you were to create a movie or TV show, what would the main plot be? I’d love to be the host of my own talk show.

Do you have difficulty reading long articles or books online or can you easily do that? No difficulty.

What’s the most common car you see driving around in your area? Do you often see out of state/country license plates? GIRL, beats me.

Give us a fact about yourself. I’m an ice cream fiend. I could (and pretty much do) eat it every day.

What is the most annoying commercial you’ve seen within the past few years? How about the most sexist? I'm sure I could think of some, but I'm blanking right now.

What makes you like your favorite animal? Give as much detail as possible. I love goats because they're cute, simple as that. And they remind me of one of my favorite childhood movies, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I had a little stuffed Djali (Esmeralda's goat) growing up, and thus my affinity began.

What is your favorite type of game (card, board, roleplaying, whatever)? I love "parlor games" I think they're called.

Pizza or burgers

don't really have them often but uhm burgers I guess, i prefer sandwichy things in general

Obey Me Brothers Wedding HCS

Just some wedding headcanons for the boys bcuz i’m soft for them, Gn MC

Thinks about marrying Asmo => 😡💕💕

Lucifer

I can not stress how much this man would be a bridezilla

He’s probably the MOST high maintenance demon when it comes to this, even over Asmo

He gets so stressed over it too and when he's stressed he gets extremely snippy

It takes you knocking a little sense into him to get him back on track

He just wants your day to be perfect and with his brothers causing trouble it's hard to really focus on choosing a tablecloth

He won’t be any nicer to his brothers but he will try to avoid causing fights at this time simply because it's really important to him that ALL of his family is there. 

The night after proposing you find a beautiful envelope on white paper with gold trim in your room you realize it's a congratulation note from the celestial realm, presumably from the big man upstairs, it's still a heartstopping realization when you realize who your father in law technically is

Are you committing a sin marrying a fallen angel? Do you care?

It’s easier to ignore it than do anything else, although you do appreciate them registering for the coffee maker you had on your registry. You needed that. Mammon broke the last one.

Kindly begs asks you NOT to do anything crazy in the week leading up to it

Please MC his heart he's about to explode from stress please don't add to it, just for one week

Diavolo plans his bachelor party at the Fall with Barbatos. Invites you along and you have to explain how bachelor parties work

If it’s up to him the wedding will be all black with red accents eDgY mUcH?

At the altar he kisses you twice, first to show everyone that your his, the second time is just for you two, he hides you away from sight curling his black wings around you and holding you as close as he can bear

In the end it's a very happy celebration filled with good food, family, and friends

When you cut the cake feel free to smash a little bit in his face, this is your only chance, he'll be in too much of a good mood to retaliate...much

Mammon

Luxury luxury luxury

He wants solid gold altars, diamond encrusted bouquets, jewels imported from every corner of the world

He has so many plans (as well as a ridiculously long wedding registry)

But the moment you say you want anything he abandons them 

Whatever you want he wants, but if you wanted some diamonds too that would be great

He absolutely would be down for a wedding bouncy castle

He gets you the biggest diamond ring ever that he buys with his own money from a lot of shifts at Hell's kitchen and modelling gigs

He totally believes in the tradition of not seeing you until your wedding day but he also forgets so he walks in and as soon as he realizes you're getting ready he shuts his eyes and tries to run out. He'll only talk to you from behind the door. 

When he sees you walking down the aisle he falls in love all over again. And he feels like that a hundred different moments. It doesn't matter what you're doing, playing with your veil, wiping cake off the corner of your mouth, yawning, he loves you and loves that you’re his.

He could get married to you in a ditch and still be the happiest man in the world.

He's an absolute goofball and is smiling the entire time

The couple that during their wedding night end up jumping on the bed and having pillow fights while play wrestling

Levi

You really want to marry a gross otaku like him??? Why??

Not that he's complaining! He just doesn't get it. His brothers are so cool and Asmo is so much prettier than him and he doesn't have anything to offer.

It takes a lot of reassuring to convince that this is what you want to do

You two have this same conversation about a million times before the wedding. He just doesn't get why you actually like him. Once it finally sets in that this really is happening and it's not just some big joke he gets really into it and definitely puffs up around his brothers to show off

His first thought is a cosplay wedding and he'll beg for it to be Ruri-chan themed

Good luck getting Lucifer or any of his brothers to agree to dressing up, as funny as it may be

If you shoot that down it's pretty easy to convince him to do something else since mostly he's just excited to be with you

He still has a little Ruri pin on his suit collar and cufflinks

When you walk down the aisle he feels like he’s going to faint from nerves and when it’s time for vows he pulls out a huge list of all the reasons he loves you and why your his Henry, although about half of it compares things you’ve done to things in TSL

He only makes it through a quarter of the way before he gets embarrassed

When he lifts your veil he panics because your so pretty and he can’t handle it

You have to initiate the kiss and when you do he turns as red as a tomato

He tries to play it off but keep a strong arm around his waist unless he really does decide to pass out

He cools down once you guys are at the reception and gets especially excited the little custom made toppers of you two in cartoon form

Satan

He's a bridezilla but in the lightest sense of the word

He won't get upset over mix ups or even really wedding stuff like Asmo or Lucifer but his temper will be extremely fine during this time, especially when it comes to his brothers.

Throws an entire table through the window when Lucifer asks him if he knew where Mammon was

It’s a lot of stress to create the perfect wedding and he buries his nose in different books that can help him

He’s a bit of a perfectionist

The most classic and elegant wedding ever and he’d want to be involved in every step of the way

Very interested in your opinion and if it compares to human weddings

He flushes with pride whenever you compliment something he picked out

Includes casual literary references in his wedding but only so people who really know will realize

Wears a navy suit 

Asmo

Also a bridezilla and a petty one at that

There will be drama, there will be tears, there will be a part where he cries off his mascara because Andrealphus of the damned brought the white bouquets and he wanted the PINK ones. This is HIS day why is she trying to ruin it.

It’s a lot of work trying to keep the damage to a minimal

Part of the reason he gets so upset is because this is your day too and he wants it to be perfect. 

Prepare for a million dress rehearsals.

He wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup! But he also doesn't want to break human tradition...But he wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup so bad!!

If he manages to restrain himself he picks out the makeup artist and the stylizer because he knows what makeup you like and what looks best on your skin.

Most likely tho he'll want to see anyways and bugs you to let him in

You compromise by going shopping with him as he tries on a million dresses and suits

MC the suit on the right or the one on the left?

They both look exactly the same.

"...Left love." "That's exactly what I was thinking. I knew I could trust you to pick out the right answer!"

Even though he's very good at fashion your opinion matters a lot to him. Sure he could make himself look perfect but he wants to look perfect for YOU. He wants to be your version of perfect and if that means he picks the high cut dress instead of the low cut which flatters his waist better then he'll do it. For you.

He's the type to want to have all the spotlight on him so if you're walking down the aisle he's going to do it too! He does it first. HE says for the attention. In reality he wants to be able to see you the moment you step out the doors and down that hall.

Looks super perfect as he waits for you at the aisle but the moment you get married he starts ugly crying. He throws his veil back on so no one can see it but you just lift it up and kiss away his tears.

Even though it's a lot of work it's worth it to be with the demon you love...but if you shove cake in his face he'll seriously kill you, MC do you know how long this took?!!!!! :'(

Beel

He’s more than happy to do whatever you want

Whatever vision you have he's willing to make happen

He does his best but feels a little useless since keeps having to break for snacks

Wonders why you’d want to be with him when all he ever does it eat but he tries not to bring it up in case it would upset you

He honestly does have a lot of fun planning with you and his favorite part was when you got to taste test different cakes because he got to impress you by explaining all the little differences between each one

He ends up being in charge of everything food related and it helps him feel a bit better

Barbatos ends up cooking the dishes 

During the rehearsal he falls in love with you all over again and doesn’t want to let you go the entire time

He gets especially nervous during the month of the wedding

He starts stress eating, going through even more food than normal, but then he gets worried about fitting into his suit and starts working out even more than normal, which makes him hungry again. It’s a terrible cycle

Belphie manages to break him out of it by reminding Beel that you love him more than anyone else

Even though its his wedding he starts setting up just to get out some of his nervous tension until the others shoo him back inside

A huge 20 layer cake each tier a different flavor

He has his own personal cake that's even bigger than the other cake but he’s more than willing to share with you

You two do the cute bit where you smash cake in each others faces

Beel still eats it tho

As much as he loves his family he's so happy to be able to steal you away at the end

Belphie

Planning a wedding is sooo much work

He lets you choose whatever you want as long as you let him sleep

if it was up to him he'd want a small informal celebration with his family but if you want something bigger than he guesses it's fine. As long as he doesn't have to talk to anyone like Diavolo 

He uninvites Lucifer like three times, each time using extremely formal paper with beautiful cursive that must have taken hours. When Lucifer confronts him Belphie just says that it’s too late because he already gave away his seat. 

He only brings him back when you make him

He sleeps more than usual in the weeks leading up to the wedding. You think it’s because of the stress but in actuality he’s trying to save up his sleep so he’s more awake for the ceremony

As much as he may act like he doesn’t care, he really does want to marry you and it makes him happy to think that you’re going to be all his

Beel is obviously his best man and while Belphie waits for you to come down the aisle he leans against him to take a small nap. Or that's what he had planned. The moment the music starts he perks up and finds himself unable to even close his eyes, too fixated on the doors about to open. 

Feeds you the first bite of cake and then just...doesn't stop

He’s so in love with you all he can do is stare

Gives his slice of cake to Beel he'd much rather pay attention to you than eat

However he does smash a little in your face but it’s out of love <3

hey alle, so for the prompts i'd love some cute and funny winteriron with bucky wanting to impress tony with his cooking, but tony being a very picky eater. which leads to a lot of frustration on bucky's side, and obliviousness on what is even going on from tony's. if you feel like it. thank you! <3

Here it is! The long-awaited His Girl FRIDAY remix! I hope you love this as much as I do!

As always, everything I write is on ao3 too

~

The first time Bucky left food in Tony’s workshop and come back to find it untouched, he’d figured it was a fluke. Tony had probably been caught up in a zone—like Steve had warned him about when Bucky had decided he was going to woo Tony with food—and hadn’t noticed the food was even there.

The second time, he made sure to catch Tony’s attention as he was dropping off the plate—lasagna because Natalia had said Tony’s mother was Italian and Bucky made a pretty decent lasagna if he did say so. Tony had glanced at him and then at the plate before turning away with a slightly bewildered frown. Bucky had taken the frown to mean that no one else had ever bothered before to take care of Tony, which was a fact that had just about broken his heart, and left the plate there. He’d gone back later that night to find the lasagna untouched. That had been a little harder to explain away, but he’d eventually decided that maybe Tony was one of those food snobs who only liked Italian food made by actual Italians.

The third time he made oatmeal with a little bit of honey and cream, perfect for someone with as much of a sweet tooth as Tony had, and brought it into the workshop for Tony, who had spent the entire night working on new arrows for Clint.

“Tony?” he called softly, not wanting to startle him. Tony was uncomfortable enough with all the new people moving into the tower after everything with SHIELD and Hydra; being Hydra’s pet assassin, he didn’t want to make it worse by sneaking up on him. “I brought you some breakfast.”

Tony popped up from underneath a table, visibly brightening. “Oh good,” he said cheerfully, making grabby hands at the bowl. “I was just starting to get hungry.” His hair was mussed, two perfect rings of black smeared around his eyes, likely where the goggles currently perched on top of his head had been resting earlier.

Bucky smiled at the adorable display and held out the bowl. Tony eagerly grabbed it, only to blink at it as soon as he saw what was in it.

“Oatmeal?” he asked delicately.

“I thought you’d appreciate having something a little more delicate after not eating for a while,” Bucky explained.

“…Oh.” After another awkward moment, Tony said carefully, “Thanks.”

Satisfied, Bucky left him to his work. This time—this time—Tony would eat it all and then he’d see what an amazing cook Bucky was and how he would absolutely be able to provide for Tony and then he’d swoon into Bucky’s arms and demand that Bucky take him right there.

Okay maybe not right there—the workshop didn’t seem like the best location for amorous activities—but that was why they called it a fantasy, right?

Too bad Tony punctured that fantasy like a balloon.

Bucky went back downstairs long to pick up the bowl after Tony had come up to the common areas, yawning widely and telling everyone he was heading to bed for the next twenty-four hours so don’t bother him unless New York was on fire. It had been a bit of a disappointment that he’d just nodded at Bucky without saying anything about the breakfast or about his everlasting feelings for him, but not nearly as much of a disappointment to walk into the workshop to find the bowl as untouched as all the other meals he’d so painstakingly prepared.

~

“I don’t get it,” he whined to Sam later that day. “I’m a good cook.”

Sam gave him an unimpressed look. “Are you sure? It’s been, what, seventy years since the last time you made anything. Maybe you’re not as good as you used to be.”

Bucky gasped dramatically. “You take that back!”

“No. You promised me you’d offer dating advice with Natasha and instead you’re sitting here mooning over Tony’s ass again so I’ll say whatever I like about your cooking.”

“Sorry,” he muttered guiltily. Sam was right. He had promised that. Or, rather, Steve had promised advice and Bucky had taken one look at him still pining over Peggy and feeling weird about his current interest being Peggy’s niece (a valid way to feel) and declared him hopeless before telling Sam that he would help him out instead. After all, he remembered Natalia from the years she’d spent training with him during her childhood. Who else would be more qualified to teach Sam how to woo her? Well, besides Clint obviously, but he was taking some personal time away from the team.

“She likes the ballet,” he said. “She wanted to be a ballerina when she was younger, said they were as graceful as any Widow only they didn’t have to kill.”

“And you’re sure that won’t just make her sad?” Sam asked dubiously.

Bucky glared at him. “I might not like you very much—” Sam rolled his eyes—"But I like Natalia a whole lot. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. Take her to the ballet and take Steve and Sharon while you’re at it. A double date will help her feel less trapped and maybe Steve will stop moping and ask Sharon out.”

“It’s a little weird, you know.”

“Sure, but he kissed Peggy once and it’s not like he’s ever gonna go back to the war and live out the rest of his time there, so he might as well move on.”

Sam laughed. “Guess that’s true.” He sighed, smile fading away. “I don’t know why Tony’s ignoring your meals. Sorry about that though. It sucks.”

“If I may,” JARVIS cut in. Both of them jumped, though Bucky would deny to his dying day that he yelped. Sam, on the other hand, shrieked like a kid and Bucky reminded himself to go back and access the audio footage so he would have blackmail.

“Sorry, JARVIS,” he apologized. “Keep forgetting you’re up there. Didn’t exactly have AI back during the war.”

“Or even in other houses,” Sam added.

“My apologies,” JARVIS said, and he’ll be damned if JARVIS didn’t sound extremely apologetic. It was incredible, really, how much life Tony imbued in his creations. “I only wanted to offer my advice about Sergeant Barnes’ attempts at wooing Sir.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked. “Go right ahead. Can’t be any worse than any of the other advice I’ve gotten.” Seriously, Clint had even suggested truth serum, like that wasn’t the worst idea ever suggested.

“Sir is an extremely picky eater,” JARVIS explained. “He does not enjoy cooked tomatoes, ricotta cheese, or the texture of oatmeal.”

…All of which had been in at least one of the meals he’d prepared for Tony.

“Fuck.”

JARVIS wryly said, “Indeed.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“You requested that I remain inactive on your floor while you were recovering. But you’re in Sergeant Wilson’s quarters at the moment so I may share my expertise.”

He had said that, hadn’t he? It had been in the early days when he was still having trouble remembering what he’d said moments earlier, but he had a vague recollection of being overwhelmed by the idea of constant monitoring and asking if JARVIS could be turned off.

“Wow, way to go, Barnes,” Sam commented, hiding a grin behind his hand.

“Fuck,” he said again, more emphatically. “Best tool at my disposal and I’m not even using it. JARVIS, I bet you could tell me all sorts of things about Tony.”

He got the impression that if the AI could sniff, he would have. “I would not dare to air Sir’s ‘dirty laundry’ so to speak.”

“No, no,” Bucky said, waving his metal hand. The hand made a concerning grinding sound and he frowned. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d probably need to ask someone to take a look at it. Sam was capable of performing basic maintenance, and Bucky trusted him not to sabotage the arm, but anything worse and he’d have to go ask Tony about it.

“Not what I meant,” he continued. “Just that you could tell me what Tony likes and doesn’t like. Uh, how do I turn you back on in my floor?”

“Your request is sufficient,” JARVIS said.

“Great. I’ll meet you up there in a bit. We’re gonna make something so incredible Tony will have to fall in love with me.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Sam said, kicking his feet up onto the newly vacated spot on the couch now that Bucky was standing. “I’m going to see if I can find reasonably priced tickets to the ballet.”

Bucky blinked. “I think you’re gonna have worse luck than me.”

Sam threw a shoe at him.

~

On JARVIS’ advice, he baked blueberry muffins because those were apparently Tony’s favorite fruit. Bucky didn’t really understand it. Frankly, he thought blueberries were almost as bad as bananas—nasty, taste-changing fruit that they were—but if Tony loved them, then he would be willing to have them in his kitchen for as long as it took to bake the muffins. Fortunately, he was just as good a baker as he was a cook, so it was a breeze to whip up a delicious batch that had him grateful he couldn’t get salmonella from the mix.

Unfortunately, Tony hated the muffins. Or that’s what Bucky gathered when he went to pick the plate up, hoping that it would be empty for the first time, and found it just as untouched as everything else had been.

“What the fuck, JARVIS?” he complained. “You said he liked blueberries.”

“I don’t know, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS said, sounding as baffled as Bucky felt. “Sir has always appreciated them.”

That, Bucky reflected later that night, was possibly to be expected. For all that JARVIS had the inhuman ability to remember literally everything he’d ever seen or heard, he was still just a program. He couldn’t necessarily extrapolate about preferences or tastes. For all either of them knew, Tony did like blueberries but didn’t like muffins or something. It didn’t really explain why JARVIS knew that Tony didn’t like cooked tomatoes, but maybe that could be explained by Tony mentioning it out loud and the other stuff, JARVIS had had to figure out on his own.

He sat up in bed, thinking about it. Maybe that was it: Tony didn’t like muffins. But there had to be other recipes out there that used blueberries that Tony would like. In fact, he was pretty sure he’d come across a blueberry cupcake with brown butter frosting recipe earlier that day. And Bucky didn’t know anyone who could say no to his brown butter. He was incredible at it, and that was being modest. Just the other day, Thor had declared the brown butter sauce he’d made for their chicken to be worthy of an Asgardian feast. Thor was a god. He probably knew things like that.

“JARVIS, you up?” he asked into the dark room.

“Always, Sergeant Barnes.”

“You don’t gotta keep callin’ me that. Bucky’s my name. I’d rather answer to that.”

“Very well, Bucky.”

“Could you pull up some other recipes with blueberries in the flavor profile please? Filter out anything that has something Tony doesn’t like and recipes similar enough to each other that they could be repeats, uh, let’s say anything with a higher than 85% similarity.”

When JARVIS was finished compiling his list, there was a lot less than what Bucky had hoped for, but it was still something he could work with. He looked through the list: cupcakes, pancakes, cookies, more than a few salads, something called a Panzanella. He starred the ones he thought would catch Tony’s interest the most, putting the others aside to possibly try later down the road. Content with his plan, he laid back down, falling asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.

~

None of it worked. Despite his supposed love for blueberries, Tony continued to turn away everything Bucky made for him. So he branched out, trying other foods that JARVIS said Tony was fond of. Nothing came back with more than a couple bites taken out of it and Tony had taken to giving him worried looks every time he appeared at the workshop door with another plate. Bucky was starting to lose hope that he was ever going to woo Tony with food and that was… not great.

Traditional dates were pretty close to impossible. Despite his rapid recovery in the tower, going outside was still too frightening with the crowds of New York, the inability to pick out threats around him, and the lack of sightlines all driving Bucky back inside and to the highest floors of the tower where he could look out over everything.

And as for anything else, well, Bucky was an ex-brainwashed assassin with no money to his name and only half the social skills he used to have (Sam said he had more than he thought but arguing with Sam wasn’t like trying to get someone to like him). He didn’t have much else to offer other than making food and giving Tony a project to work on. The first wasn’t going well and the second made Bucky feel too much like he was taking advantage of Tony to use more than once or twice.

Disheartened, he made his way up to Natalia’s floor to ask her for advice. She and Tony got along almost as well as she got along with Clint. Maybe she would have insights that JARVIS wasn’t able to offer. As he neared her room, though, he realized that she wasn’t alone.

“—to kill me,” someone—Tony, Bucky realized almost immediately—was saying. He stiffened. Who was trying to kill Tony? Bucky would kill them first! Was murder a good way to woo Tony?

“котенок,” Natalia said patiently, “he’s not trying to kill you.”

“You don’t know that!” Tony exclaimed wildly. He sounded like he was pacing. “He could be! He keeps bringing me things everyone knows I won’t eat.”

And now Natalia sounded amused as she said, “Antoshka, I don’t think he’d be trying to feed you if he wanted to kill you. It’s more likely an honest mistake.”

“It could be poison.”

“It’s not poison.”

“You don’t know that. You haven’t tried any of it.”

“It’s not poison because that’s more my style than it is James’.”

Oh, they were talking about him. Tony thought Bucky was trying to kill him. “Fuck,” he said mournfully, leaning up against the wall. No wonder Tony wouldn’t touch any of the food he made for him.

“Well, I don’t see why else he’s bringing me food!” Tony said.

“Really? Not a single reason?”

“It’s food I won’t eat! He clearly doesn’t like me or he’d be bringing me actual food I like.”

“Does he know why you won’t eat it?”

“No, but why does that matter?”

“Tony, darling, have you ever once informed him that you have a sensory processing disorder and you won’t eat a lot of cooked foods because you can’t handle the texture?”

Bucky straightened back up. Tony has a what? He’d never even heard of that before. Why didn’t JARVIS say something? He thought back to when he’d been building the list of blueberry foods and how he’d wondered if JARVIS didn’t necessarily know about the pattern for Tony’s likes and dislikes in his food. Maybe JARVIS hadn’t known about Tony’s disorder, so he hadn’t known to tell Bucky about it. That made the most amount of sense to him though he couldn’t imagine why Tony had never told his AI about his disorder.

“Why would I tell him that?” Tony asks, sounding confused.

He could just picture Natalia shaking her head as she said, “Oh, Antoshka.”

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Armed with his new knowledge, Bucky crept away from the door, already planning out new meals to bring to Tony.

~

That very night, he went downstairs with a bowl of salad. It had nuts to provide a small amount of protein, though he’d also put some baked chicken in a Tupperware as well, in case that was something Tony could eat. Tony’s music was playing at a manageable volume by the time he got to the workshop, likely because he was drafting plans for some sort of irrigation system, rather than any sort of consideration for Bucky.

Tony caught sight of him before he got the doors open. Bucky watched as his face fell for a moment before he plastered on a bright, fake smile. Hydra’s programming was still too ingrained in him to do anything as obvious as wince, but he still felt a twinge of shame. Why hadn’t he thought to ask Tony what he would like to eat instead of relying on his own preferences?

“Uh,” he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. In his other hand, he held up the Tupperware with the salad bowl on top of it. “I brought you some dinner. It’s just a salad, but I included some baked chicken on the side if you want that. I hope it’s something you like.”

Tony blinked at him. “What?”

“I—okay, I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I overheard you and Natalia earlier. I didn’t know you couldn’t eat anything I was making for you. I wasn’t trying to poison you or anything, just thought you might like some food since you’re down here all the time. Sorry for, you know, eavesdropping and making you think I didn’t like you.”

A cautious smile spread across Tony’s face. “You could have asked JARVIS,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I did, but I guess he didn’t know you don’t like cooked foods.”

“What?” Tony cocked his head to the side. “No, he should know that.” He spun around in his chair, waving the glowing blue drafts of the irrigation system aside in favor of pulling up JARVIS’ bright golden code. It was a beautiful display, and Bucky found himself moving closer, mesmerized by the sight. He had no idea JARVIS’ code was so complex.

“J, buddy, what happened to your code?” Tony murmured. He reached out a hand, groping for Bucky’s shirt to tug him closer. “Gimme food.”

“So you like salad?” Bucky asked, relieved that he’d finally found something.

“And baked chicken,” Tony added. “But it has to be baked. Otherwise, the texture’s too rubbery for me.”

“I can do that,” he promised. “Do you like breading or marinade with the baked chicken?”

“Marinade, yes. Breading, no.”

“Okay. I’ll remember that.”

Tony paused in tearing through JARVIS’ code to give him a small, genuine smile that made Bucky’s heart light up. He returned the smile, which grew bigger when Tony’s gaze darted down to his lips, snagging there as though caught by the sight. He knew he had a nice mouth; he’d been told that plenty of times back in the forties.

“I have another confession to make,” he said once Tony’s attention returned to the code.

“Uh-huh,” Tony said distractedly.

“I was—”

“There you are!” Tony exclaimed. “J, who made those changes to lines 894 through 1036 in your code?”

JARVIS immediately said, “The last time those lines were accessed was in 2008 by Obadiah Stane.”

Tony’s face fell. “Oh.”

It took Bucky a moment remember who Obadiah Stane was. He’d appeared in one of Bucky’s mission files as the Winter Soldier. Back during the nineties, following Tony’s parents deaths, Tony had been planning on shutting down SI’s weapons manufacturing division. Hydra, who’d been buying black market weapons from Stane for years by that time, had ordered the Winter Soldier to assassinate Tony to give Stane complete control of the company. But before he’d been able to complete his mission, Stane had convinced Tony to see “reason” and Bucky had been put back in cryo. That unfulfilled mission had been one of the reasons he’d been so hesitant to move into the tower before his programming had been completely removed. Steve had tried to push for the move anyway, but before either of them could successfully argue the point, Tony had put out a call to the world’s top experts on brainwashing and three whirlwind weeks later, Bucky’s mind was programming-free. And just like that, without even meeting the guy, Bucky had developed a crush on one Tony Stark.

“Sorry, doll,” he said, dropping a hand to Tony’s shoulder and squeezing it gently.

Tony sighed frustratedly. “Every time I think I’ve taken care of everything Obie fucked up, I find something else he’s done. He was probably hoping I’d starve to death or something without anyone making food to my exacting specifications, that asshole.”

“He sounds pretty terrible,” Bucky agreed.

“J, are you able to access the last backup on those lines to restore them?” Tony asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, let’s get those fixed, and uh—”

“And we’ll go out for dinner,” Bucky interrupted.

“Huh?” Tony asked, turning to look at him.

“Seems I owe you an apology and I figure taking you out for dinner is a little nicer than a salad. ‘Sides, if I take you out, I’ll have a better understanding of what you like to eat.”

“Careful there, Buckaroo, or I’ll start thinking this is supposed to be a date.”

Bucky would probably never know what possessed him to firmly say, “Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.” He certainly hadn’t planned to. He really had been planning on their dinner being a way to figure out what Tony liked so he could make it himself and continue with his wooing process from there, hopefully slowly easing Tony into believing that Bucky really did like him and wasn’t trying to poison him.

“Sorry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”

Tony stared at him, then abruptly said, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“That this is supposed to be a date.”

He could deny it and go back to his original plan. He’d probably even be able to pull off a lie like that. But there was a hopeful look in Tony’s eyes that stopped him from denying anything.

“You didn’t even know that I liked you until five minutes ago,” he pointed out cautiously.

Tony scoffed. “What, like you’ve never liked someone who hated you.”

“Uh, no. I’ve never done that.”

“Really?”

“Never.”

“Huh.”

“Are you… are you saying that you do like me?” Bucky asked.

“Well, yeah. You never mind that half of my engineering babble goes over your head and you bring me food even if you didn’t know it wasn’t something I could eat and you’re really fucking gorgeous when you’ve showered and your hair isn’t falling in greasy clumps around your face.”

“Look who’s talking,” Bucky said amusedly, reaching out to run his fingers through Tony’s hair, matted down with machine oil. Even filthy, he could feel how soft it would be when it was clean. Tony leaned into his hand, humming happily.

“So is that a yes on this being a date, Bucky babe?” Tony asked. “Cause I’ll be honest, I’m not usually left hanging.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, nodding. “It’s a date.”

Tony grinned and turned his head just enough to kiss the inside of Bucky’s wrist, making Bucky shiver. “Let me get cleaned up.”

“You want me to join you?”

Tony winked at him. “Next time, honey.”

Lovestruck

Pairing: Professor Erwin x Fem! Reader, Sasha x Connie 

Word Count: 4K

Part 2

“Have you ever seen a man that good-looking?” You hummed at Sasha’s comment, not even bothering to look up from your screen to see who she was referring to. “I mean, wow! He’s like a greek god or something.” 

Connie rolled his eyes in amusement at his girl’s rambles. “He does have nice eyebrows,” he joined in.

She whipped her head towards Connie with a dumbfounded smile. “Right?! He could probably cut someone with those cheekbones.” 

With a sigh, you looked up from your laptop, finally indulging the two. “Who’s the so-called Greek god,” you asked in an unamused tone. Your eyes followed Sasha’s finger through the fairly empty coffee shop until they landed on a man sitting alone by the window.

Sasha was right, which didn’t often happen unless it involved food. He was intimidatingly perfect, chiseled from his face to his body. The sunlight hung around him like a cloak, providing an angelic glow that shadowed his strong cheekbones and jawline. He leaned casually in the chair, his large frame towering over the plastic structure as his arm rested on the table. His hand loosely held onto the cup in front of him, ever ready to take another sip. His other hand held a book in the air. The book looked small in his hands like it was merely a phone. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as he glanced up from his book, giving you a perfect view of his face. You couldn’t believe your eyes. More accurately, you couldn’t believe the cerulean eyes and incredibly thick eyebrows you saw. “You’re shitting me,” you breathed in disbelief. Sasha and Connie turned to face you with curious expressions. You bit back a girlish smile and shook your head, “it’s nothing.” You shrugged off their unconvinced looks and quickly added, “I just, uh, I used to have him as a teacher.”

Sasha’s eyes practically bulged out of her head at your words, “you’re telling me you had that-” she gestured to the man across the room, “- for a teacher, and I’m just now hearing about this?! How’d you even focus? What’d he teach? Was he always this good-looking? Does he still teach?” Connie opened his mouth to interject, but Sasha cut him off by placing her finger on his lips. “No, I’m going to Mystery inc. this and get to the bottom of this. She’s been withholding valuable information!”

You let out a chuckle and ducked your head in embarrassment. “It’s not that big of a deal,” you trailed off. “It was years ago. He probably doesn’t even remember me.” You tried to sound as carefree as possible despite the butterflies at the thought.

“That’s not what I-” Sasha quickly shut her mouth as another voice joined the conversation. 

“I thought it was you,” a smooth husky voice cut in. You looked up to see the greek god smiling gently at you. His thick eyebrows knitted together nervously when you didn’t reply after a moment. “Y/n, right?”

Your cheek warmed as your name fell from his lips. It fell from his lips so naturally like it belonged there, filling you with an indescribable warmth. “Mr. Smith,” you breathed as a giddy smile formed on your lips. “It’s been a while.” You wet your lips as you not so subtly looked him up and down. He was a lot more muscular now than he was a few years ago. He had practically doubled in size since you last saw him. The rolled-up sleeves of his off-white button-up shirt clung to his arms desperately. A few buttons were left open, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his collarbone. 

Sasha was right. He was nothing short of a greek god. He was enough to make statues envious.

The worry in Erwin’s face dissipated into a dreamy grin, “far too long.” You looked exactly like he remembered you, gorgeous. He cleared his throat as he looked down at the book in his hand. “I was passing by and saw you,” his icy blue eyes met yours. “I was going to ask if you would like to catch up, but I see you’re busy.”

“She’d love to,” Connie quickly answered for you, nudging Sasha under the table. 

“Yeah, don’t worry about us,” Sasha stammered as she rose from her seat. “We had things planned anyway.”

“Right,” you drawled, turning your attention towards the couple that was preparing to leave. 

“Yeah, so we’ll see ya later,” Connie hurriedly responded. His words spilled out like water from a broken dam as he gathered your stuff for you. You opened your mouth to protest, but you knew anything you said would only fall on deaf ears. Connie stood up and walked off hand and hand with Sasha.

You could hear their mischievous giggles until they were finally out of sight. You shook your head with a chuckle before looking back up at Erwin. “Well, Mr. Smith, it looks like you’re in luck. My schedule just so happened to free up.” You shrugged, flashing him a gentle smile, “what a coincidence.” 

“Looks like it was meant for us to catch up,” Erwin remarked with a nervous chuckle. He offered his hand to you, helping you out of your seat. He tucked his book under his arm, freeing his other hand so he could grab your bag for you before handing it to you.

A bashful smile graced your lips at his actions as you mumbled a quiet ‘thank you.’ You had always pictured him as quite a gentleman, but his chivalrous acts melted your heart. You walked by his side quietly until you reached a nearby park. Erwin led you under a tree, stopping you so he could lay his jacket on the ground for you to sit on.

“Hope you’re not trying to impress me, Mr. Smith,” you giggled, sitting down on his suit jacket. Your hands absentmindedly busied themselves, smoothing out the wrinkles in his coat.

“Just doing what feels right.” He chortled as he sat beside you. “And it’s just Erwin.”

“Alright, just Erwin,” you joked in a silky voice. 

He laughed his first real laugh of the day, the sound coming from deep with his stomach. “Still as witty as ever.” His ocean eyes never left your face once, too stunned to look anywhere else. 

He could still remember the first time he laid eyes on you. You took his breath away from the very beginning. Every part of you intrigued him, from your looks to your brain. The way the sun shined off your melanin skin made you look like nothing short of a goddess in his eyes. The golden highlight was almost too much for him to take. There was a glow about you that he couldn’t find anywhere else no matter how hard he looked. It didn’t matter if you were outside or under the dead fluorescent lights of the classroom, you were a star, demanding attention without ever really trying. 

“Wow,” he breathed quietly after a moment. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

You giggled shyly and rolled your eyes. “Wish I could say the same about you. You look like you could give Chris Evans a run for his money.” You enjoyed the small blush spreading across his cheeks. “I’m serious. The Mr. Smith- er, Erwin I knew wasn’t as,” you trailed off, growing too embarrassed to continue. You looked down at your pants instead, picking at the threads.

Erwin was thankful you stopped yourself from continuing. He didn’t think his cheeks could handle any more compliments from you. Had you continued, he probably would’ve ended up looking like a tomato. “Thank you.” He scratched the back of his neck embarrassedly.

You fought back a cheeky smile as you noticed him timidly look away. Despite his outer appearance, he was a big softie. It was like being next to the big friendly giant. “So, what do you do for a living nowadays? You still a teacher?”

“I am actually, they made me one of the official creative writing professors. It doesn’t leave much free time for writing anymore, but I love it nonetheless.” He smiled wistfully as he watched the people walk past. A few quiet moments passed before he brought his attention back to you. “Y’know, I’ve seen a lot of bright students come and go, but none have been quite as amusing as you.” Erwin bit the inside of his cheek, hoping he wasn’t being too forward. 

You shrugged off his comment, oblivious to their hinting undertone, “we were a good class and your first class. Of course, we’re going to leave an impression on you.”

He hummed thoughtfully in reply as if that wasn’t what he was getting at. “What about you? What’d you end up doing?”

“I guess you can say I took after my favorite teacher and became a writer.” You glanced at him through the corner of your eye, gauging his reaction.

“I was your favorite teacher?” Erwin couldn’t help the bashful smile that forced its way onto his face. 

“Wow,” you dragged out dramatically with a teasing smile. You met Erwin’s steady gaze and playfully pushed his arm. It took every ounce of self-control not to leave your hand resting on his bicep. You pushed the thought aside, choosing to continue to tease him instead. “Someone’s cocky! You aren’t the only teacher I had who wrote.”

“Then who, if I may ask, was it?”

“Just some teacher, you probably wouldn’t know them. Y’know big campus and all.” You shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Right,” Erwin drawled out with an amused smile. “Well, just in case you ever need some help or a writing buddy-,” he fished around in his pockets before pulling his phone out, “-maybe I should give you my number.” His eyes flashed down to his phone. “Just assuming your favorite professor is busy or anything.” 

You chewed on your lip, fighting back a playful smile. “Of course, there’s no such thing as too many connections.” Erwin hummed in response, handing you his phone. Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers gently brushed against yours. 

“Ah,” you exclaimed once you caught sight of the time, “crap! I told him I told Eren I wouldn’t be late again.” You groaned, handing back the phone as you scrambled to your feet. “I’m sorry I have to go,” you sent Erwin an apologetic smile. “It was really nice catching up. We should do it again sometime! Ugh, hopefully, Armin is there to make sure  he doesn’t kill me.”

Erwin opened his mouth to remind you about the phone but decided against it at the last minute. “Be safe,” he called out to you as you ran off. He wasn’t even sure you had heard him, probably too caught up in rushing to hear clearly. His eyes followed your frame until it disappeared in the crowded streets. A disappointed sigh fell from his lips. Letting you leave the second time wasn’t any easier than the first. He thought maybe this time would be different. This time he would have the courage to ask you to stay without any restrictions. 

He chuckled at himself as he stood up and gathered his things. Here he was pitying himself over the fact that you had left again. Yet, fate had brought you together twice already. If he had the chance to see you again, he promised himself that he would let you walk away so easily. After all, they say third times the charm. 

***

“What is it,” Levi asked, earning a quiet hum from Erwin. He took a sip of tea before continuing. “You keep scanning the room like you’re looking for someone,” he noted. “You’ve barely paid attention to any conversation. Plus,” Levi set his cup down before leaning his chin on his hand, “you made us drive thirty minutes to go to a coffee shop even though you have one walking distance from your house. So, what’s so special about this place?” He leaned back in his chair, resting his elbow on the back of it. “Cause apparently, it’s not the coffee.”

Erwin looked down at his still full cup of coffee, which was now lukewarm at best. He chuckled embarrassedly, hoping the sudden warmth he was experiencing was just his imagination. His order was long forgotten, his mind too preoccupied with thoughts of you. “Guess I’ve been caught,” he smiled embarrassedly.

“You’re kidding right,” Sasha yelled at you as you walked through the door. “You left Mr. Perfect without giving him your number.  To go be with Eren?” She looked to Connie with a baffled expression for support. “Am I the only one who sees how stupid that was?”

“Relax already,” you sighed. You had already gotten this speech before over text. You got it repeatedly, actually, at least once every day for the past week. “I know. I wasn’t thinking-.”

“Oh, I know,” she cut you off. “That’s like you having a perfectly juicy steak handed to you, just for you to reject it for a cold chicken nugget.”

“Eren is cute in his own way,” you tried to defend him only to be completely ignored. 

“Well, Armin is more like a steak too, just a little one,” Connie chimed in as he read the menu. 

“True. Wait, no, that’s not the point.” She stopped mid-rant to tell the cashier her order. “The point is she had-.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” You paused to put in your order before following Sasha to your usual table. “I left Erwin to go meet up with Eren, who was fucking late anyways.”

“Yeah, sure, no worries. No need to pitch in or offer; I got it,” Connie grumbled as he paid. He trailed behind you and Sasha, plopping down in his usual spot with a childish huff. 

“Thank you, lovebug,” Sasha cooed, pecking his cheek. “You’re the best, unlike some people.” She glared playfully at you from the corner of her eye. 

You sighed melodramatically, practically rolling your eyes into the back of your head. “How long are you going to hold this over me?”

“She’ll think about the answer to that while you go get our drinks,” Connie answered for her with a devilish smirk. 

“Wow,” you drawled with a feigned hurt expression, “you too, Connie?” You shook your head disappointedly, “can’t trust no one.” You begrudgingly walked over to the counter where three drinks sat. You nearly dropped the cup in your hands as a familiar voice spoke up behind you. 

“Mind if I give you a hand?”  

“Erwin,” you gasp, jumping harder than you’d like. The scalding tea on your skin left little time for you to feel embarrassed. “Ah,” you hissed under your breath as you quickly placed the cup back on the counter. “Fuck.”

“Apologies,” Erwin quickly stepped in beside you, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Without thinking, he took your hand into his own, cradling it like you were made of glass. His warm hands were nothing in comparison to the rising heat in your cheeks as he gently wiped your hand with a napkin. “I just wanted to say ‘hi,’” he continued in a low bashful voice.

You couldn’t help the soft giggles that tumbled from your lips. There he was, being a big friendly giant again. You looked up at him for the first time, watching the way his brows furrowed with concern. “Well, I’m glad you did.” You gave his hand a grateful squeeze, “wasn’t sure if I’d get to see you again. I definitely need all the help I can get with my new project.”

“I- uh, well,” he stumbled over his words, quickly retracting his hand from yours. He carefully grabbed all three cups. “Where to?” He felt childish getting this flustered over just being around you. The small smile on your face was enough to send his heart into overtime. 

You plucked your cup from his hand, gingerly taking a sip. With a nod, you led him to your table. 

“Took you long en-ah!” Sasha’s eyes bulged out of her head as her eyes landed on the towering figure behind you. “What the hell,” she exclaimed, causing a few curious glances to be cast in her direction. “I- you,” she focused her gaze on you, “how’d you manage to find the greek god again?”

Your eyebrows shot up more in embarrassment than in surprise. Sasha was never once for subtleties, always the most outspoken one of the group. You set your cup down with a sigh. “I’m sorry about her,” you turned to him with an apologetic. “Erwin meet Sasha and Connie-,” you took their cups from his hands and set them on the table, “-Sasha and Connie meet Erwin.”

Connie nodded in acknowledgment, “feel free to sit with us.” You could tell he was trying to play it cool for your sake. Truth be told, Sasha had him just as invested in the man as she was. It probably wasn’t the healthiest, but it damn sure is fun. Who needed reality tv when they could just watch you?

Erwin could feel your hopefully expectant gaze focus on him, yet his eyes remained trained on Connie. Probably to keep him from turning any redder. He was already on the verge of becoming a tomato as it is. “I actually came here with a friend.” 

“Invite him over,” Sasha blurted out. She ignored the way you momentarily glared daggers at her for pushing the subject. “The more, the merrier.”

They both looked like they had turned to putty as Erwin chuckled quietly. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought they were the ones with a crush on him. Not that you had a crush on him. You just liked admiring the man and being around him. “Guys-.”

“So this is why you’ve been dragging me here every day,” a cold, unfamiliar voice cut in. His voice alone was enough to send chills down your spine. So much so that you nearly missed that he said Erwin was coming here every day. Even Sasha and Connie straightened up under his presence. “Interesting. Mind if I take a seat?”

You turned to the man, catching his piercing eyes finish looking you up and down. He was shorter and leaner than Erwin, but something about his presence made him seem like the more intimidating of the two. “Y-yeah, sure.” You paused for a while, allowing his words to register in your mind.

“Everyone, meet Levi,” Erwin broke the silence as he took a seat next to you. “Levi, meet Sasha, Connie, and Y/n.” 

“So you’ve been coming here every day,” you blurted out, getting the attention of everyone. You waited for an answer but only received a bashful smile. Your mind was moving a mile a minute. You were sure you were making a bigger deal of this than necessary. 

“Starting to think he doesn’t come here for the drinks,” Levi said smugly, answering for Erwin. “Or maybe I’m just imagining things,” he mumbled into his cup.

You took a seat between Levi and Erwin, your eyes never leaving his frame. 

“Y’know, I like this place a lot,” Sasha chimed in, barely able to hide her cheeky smile. “But I don’t think the scenery is great enough to make me come here every day.”

“I’ve definitely had better coffee,” Connie shrugged. 

“Tea is nothing to brag about either,” Levi agreed despite taking another sip from his cup.

You could feel the embarrassment radiating off of Erwin. With every new playfully dig, it seemed harder to get him to meet your gaze. His ocean eyes landed everywhere but on you. 

“That’s an interesting-looking napkin, huh,” you asked teasingly in a voice only he could hear. He glanced at you through the corner of his eye, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.

“Well, the prices are nice, though,” Sasha continued to tease slyly. You glanced over at Sasha with an exasperated glare, which she shrugged off. “So, Levi- was it- how do you know Erwin?”

“You’re loving this aren’t you,” Erwin groaned, finally bringing his eyes up to meet your own. He was enjoying every minute of looking at your playful smile, basking in the welcoming warmth. He shook his head with a chuckle, already knowing your answer from the mischievous glint in your eyes.

“Oh, every minute,” you giggled as you pointed a finger at his rosy cheeks. “Between you being a tomato and finding out Erwin the Greek god Smith came here looking for me-.” 

“Cocky much?” Erwin flashed a dashing smile, “who said I was looking for you?”

You nodded, holding back a laugh. “Oh, right, of course. How silly of me.” You took your phone out with a shrug, “guess there’s no point in asking for your number then.” Erwin opened his mouth as if he was about to protest but quickly closed it.  

“Hey,” Sasha interjected with a huff. “What’s the fun in making fun of you two if y’all just go into your own little la-la lands.” 

“We weren’t,” you stammered before getting cut off by Connie.

“Were. We had a whole conversation, and you two didn’t even notice,” he stated matter of factly with a shrug before his mischievous grin returned to his lips. “At least exchange phone numbers this time.”

You stared at him wide-eyed, far too embarrassed to glare or come up with a retort. Your mouth opened and closed a few times like a gasping fish before you decided to keep your mouth closed with a huff. Just as you were about to change the subject, you noticed Erwin reach for your phone lying on the table. 

“We were actually just getting to that,” Erwin replied with a cocky yet teasing grin. It was like someone flipped a switch on him. He was no longer this huge blushy and shy giant next to you. He exuded confidence but never crossed over into being cocky or egotistical. He took your phone in his hand and handed it to you so you could unlock it. “Y’know before we were interrupted from our ‘la la land’ and all.”

Sasha looked to you with a surprised expression as if asking for confirmation. You weren’t sure which was more shocking to her, that you were actually about to exchange numbers or that Erwin was finally retaliating. You mimicked Connie’s nonchalant shrug from a few moments ago as you unlocked your phone for Erwin. 

Everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats as Erwin typed in his contact information. Even Levi was visibly intrigued, though he tried to hide under his regular hardened and uninterested expression. Erwin didn’t notice anyone but you, however. All he could feel was your warmth beside him and your gaze locked on his hands. Having your undivided attention made him want to type even slower. 

“Geez, what are you, a turtle? Actually, I think I’ve seen turtles move faster,” you teased with a nervous chuckle. The sudden quiet atmosphere at the table was too much. You felt the need to say something. Was that the best? Probably not.

Erwin laughed a throaty laugh, “someone seems eager.” His eyes flitted up to yours, “guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You were the same way in class. That’s probably why you were one of my favorites. But I feel the need to remind you,” he handed you your phone, “sometimes taking things slow is what makes it fun.”

The way he held your gaze sent your mind into a drunken-like daze. He was intoxicating in every way, completely taking over your mind until all you could think of was you and him. “Dealing with all these writing deadlines might’ve made me forget that.” You leaned closer, resting your chin in your palm. “Maybe I need a demonstration to help jog my memory.”

Erwin looked at you with a lopsided smirk. His eyes trailed down your face, landing on your lips longer than he intended. Every ounce of him wanted to take you up on the suggestion, but he wasn’t sure if you were being serious or just teasing. 

“There you two go again,” Levi interrupted. You quickly sat back in your chair, creating room between you and Erwin. You could faintly make out a small chuckle from Levi. “If you two wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask.”

“N-no,” you quickly stammered. “It’s not like that.” You couldn’t help the heat rising to your cheeks. “It’s just-,” you glanced at Erwin with a small smile, “-it’s nice seeing one of my favorite teachers again.”

“I sure hope your classroom wasn’t filled with as much sexual tension,” Sasha murmured. 

Erwin raised an eyebrow in confusion. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but closed into a tight line. 

“On that note, I should get going.” You quickly rose from your seat, avoiding making eye contact with Erwin. “Got another meeting with Jeager-bomb.” Sasha practically rolled her eyes into the back of her head but kept her mouth shut. At least you got his number before running off again. “Bye, guys! Oh, and it was nice meeting you, Levi.” You finally let your fall on Erwin, who had a somewhat expectant look on his face. “I’ll call you the next time I need help,” you couldn’t fight the girlish smile tugging on your lips.

“I look forward to it.”

Traveling Teacher

Ship: Mark (NCT) x fem reader.

Traveling teacher, non idol au

Word count: 1585

Warnings: reader has very anxious thoughts at the beginning.

A/N: random story I started months ago. I hope you all enjoy this random story. I wanted to write something for Mark, because he's just adorable. I'd love feedback on what you think of this story.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. That's all you kept repeating in your head. You had to calm down, it was going to be alright. He would be here any minute, he was just running late. He wouldn't have asked you here just to stand you up, or would he? This couldn't be another prank.

 Leaning forward you rested your head in your hands. Trying to focus on the things around you to ground yourself. You felt the slight breeze around you. The sound of the birds, and the city. The wooden bench beneath you. The feel of the gravel under your shoes. The light weight of your jacket across your shoulders.

The anxiety of the situation seemed to decrease as you focused on the things around you. The sound of shoes against the gravel sounded calming.

"____, You actually came." his words pulling you back to the present, immediate relief flooded through your chest. You looked up to see him smiling at you, he seemed pleased.

"Of course, you asked me to come." You smiled as you stood up dusting off your dark jeans, fixing the hem of your shirt and adjusting the light jacket. You felt lightly undressed. He looked like a model, per usual. His perfectly styled, yet messy hair swept back from his forehead, the leather jacket over a vintage band shirt, and a pair of jeans.

"I wasn't sure that you would actually show." his eyes on the ground as his fingers ran through his hair. His eyes then met yours. "You're usually really reserved, I was afraid I might have scared you off, saying it was a date. I'm glad it didn't." his eyes becoming little crescents, as he gave a genuine smile.

The butterflies in your stomach seemed to swarm, as he guided the way. You started down the path towards the main part of the park.

-------------

Mark was a traveling music instructor, so he came to the primary school twice a week to teach beginning band, and choir. Being an office aid you saw him when he picked up his badge checking in for his class, and when he returned his badge. 

The first day he came in, he took you by surprise. The last traveling teacher was a grumpy older man, Mark however was literal sunshine, always kind and friendly to everyone he came across. The children adored him, and all the ladies at the school gushed over him, single or not.

In the few words you would exchange as he checked in and out, you slowly got to know him. You both shared a love for music, especially live music. Last week when he mentioned going to the free concerts in the park you talked with him about some of the ones you attended last summer. That's when he invited you to join him for the mini festival of cover bands that weekend. Completely ignoring the other flirtatious aid, who offered to go in your place, being as you 'didn't get out much'. He just smiled and looked back at you, stating it would be a great getting to know you date. After that he left. You were as red as a tomato, laughing internally at your coworker who was now insisting that there was something wrong with him.

---------

"We haven't ever discussed what made you want to be an office aid at a school" Mark noted, as you strolled towards the outdoor amphitheatre.

"Truthfully I never planned on being an office aid" you laughed. "I wanted to do something with kids, but I didn't want to teach. I considered being a school librarian, but every job I applied for fell through. Then someone my mom knew was retiring from being an office aid, and my mom gave her my resume. I got a call for an interview for a job I never applied for. They ended up hiring me immediately after my interview. I guess the rest is history."

"They must've known you'd be great with kids." He remarked as he guided you towards the small seating section.

"I'm not so sure. I think they needed someone who was kind, but had a firm hand. So I got the job."

"I've seen you with some of those kids. Even the troublemakers listen to you." He praised as he motioned towards the reserved seats in the third row off to the side.

"I'm nowhere near as good with them as you are. You helped Jin get into that special summer program, which I never expected to happen. Especially after he flushed Mrs. Kim's prized fish last year." You praised back as you both took a seat.

"I heard about that." He chuckled. "Jin has a lot of potential, he just didn't know how to direct it. All I did was guide him, and help him on the right path."

"Is that why you became a traveling teacher?"

"Actually, no." He let out a small laugh. "I was supposed to be in Law school. After the first semester I knew I couldn't handle it. I had been tutoring kids in music lessons when I decided I would just try that path. I must say I feel like I make more of a difference now, then I would've as a lawyer."

"You do make a huge difference at my school. The kids are always excited when they get to have Mr. Lee's class. We also have less absences on the days you teach."

"I don't know that I make that much of a difference." His ears turned a slight pink.

"You do. I'm sure we will see many kids in the music industry in the future because of you." 

"Guys look it's Mr. Lee, and Miss ____." A child yelled from behind you. The two of you turned in your seats,, to see a few students getting settled in the grass a ways behind you. You both smiled and waved.

"I bet they are on a date!" Another said loudly, your eyes looked down, as you turned around in your seat. The blush was apparent on your cheeks. As Mark made a big scene of stretching and putting his arm around you. A light giggle left your lips as you looked over at him, with a questioning look.

"What?" He asked, and you glanced at his arm then back up to his face. "The kids have to learn somehow. This is how to be smooth." he nodded then did an over the top wink. You laughed again, covering your face with one hand, shaking your head. He was anything but subtle or smooth.

Soon the music started, the energy pulsed through the air. You both sang and danced along to cover after cover. The first band played music your parents listened to.

The second band played music from the early 2000s which Mark ended up serenading you with.

Between bands you just sat, and talked. He found out your favorite movie. You found out he loves cookies and cream Ice Cream.

The last band was a big band 1950s style cover band. During a slower song Mark spun you around, dancing between the rows of seats.

The mini festival seemed to end as soon as it began. The sun had started to pitch in the sky, when Mark asked you to join him for dinner. With a nod of your head you both set off towards the main road in search of food.

"Can I ask you a question?" Mark asked, as you both strolled the main walkway.

"Of course" you looked towards him, curiously.

"If I were to hold your hand would it make you uncomfortable? I mean if you don't want to we don't have to. I mean this is our first date. If you want to consider it an official date. I am but..." he stumbled over his words, he seemed as panicked as you felt. Your lips slightly turned upwards as you reached for his hand.

"We never know unless we try right? That's what I tell the kids." you stated with a small nod, as his fingers encompassed yours. His thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand as you walked together.

"That's a good way to look at it. I like the way you look at things. I've noticed that you like to look for that silver lining." He noted, as he glanced towards you, slightly bumping you with his shoulder.

"I have to, it's the only way to keep the storm clouds from taking over." the words came out before you could stop them. His hand gently squeezing yours.

"Storm clouds are part of life. I've encountered my fair share of storms, but most people dwell on the storms." His words settled in your skin. "You don't seem to though."

"It takes rain to make a rainbow." You said quietly, taking a deep breath. "I've been through a lot of storms, some destroyed me. Though those I've learned as the storms come to try to make the best of it, because I know there is a rainbow coming."

He paused his stride, softly pulling your hand making you stop, you turned to face him. His smile was genuine and pure. The setting sun gave him a warm glow.

"You know, I'm starting to think you're my rainbow." His soft words made you melt.

You could feel the heat in your cheeks and ears, as you looked towards the ground. Then back into his eyes. "You might be mine as well"

1989 [High School AU]: Chapter 9

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 8 ~

Pairings: slight Logince, eventual Prinxiety & Logicality

Word count: 2,043

Story summary: Roman Prince is your stereotypical Jock, with everyone swooning after him. Every day a crowd of people follow him around, only to disperse at his personal whim. In reality, he's lucky to have such good acting skills that help him cover up the disdain he has for his life. He only wishes he could use his skills properly.

Patton Whitelock's always there to lend a helping hand, no matter who you are. If you need a favor or just need someone to talk to, go to him. In reality, he's been taught from a young age that kindness should be held above all else. No one suspects that he took it the wrong way.

Logan Montgomery is the smartest boy in the Senior class. He's stern, and most people are too intimidated to speak to him. In reality, he despises most all of his fellow students. He sticks to his studies and doesn't stray, for fear of being stuck in his father's shadow his whole life.

Virgil Black is the most emo kid in school, let alone 12th grade; everyone knows to leave him be. In reality, he's very fortunate. He has two parents who love him dearly. But everything beyond his life, everything within his mind, is utter chaos and turmoil.

what will happen when they're assigned a biology project together?

General CW: food, swearing, implied s-lf h-rm, non-graphic descriptions of s-lf h-rm scars, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, drug abuse, minor character intoxicated on heroin, non-graphic drug overdose description, sickness/description of sickness, blood, non-graphic descriptions of needles, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: swearing, food/meal mention, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: the massive amounts of gay panic. this chapter was fun to write

...

Roman returned to find his room far less lively. The tall nerd and the short puffball have seemingly disappeared! Of course Roman knew they'd likely just gone home, but what fun is life without a little exciting drama?

The only one left was Virgil, who was curled in on himself on Roman's bed, a pillow in his lap and phone in his hands yet again. Roman sighed dramatically, sprawling out beside his darkly dressed counterpart.

"Is this what they meant when they said 'get a room?'" He commented after a long boring silence, waggling his eyebrows when Virgil looked at him with wide eyes.

"Oh shut up," Virgil looked away, slamming his pillow into Roman's face in a fit of deja-vu.

"Oh come on! Look up the word joke in the dictionary, Jack Smellington!" Roman said exasperatedly. Virgil shook out his luminescent hair, which was now out of his hood and proudly on display. Roman couldn't convince himself to look away.

"As much as I appreciate being compared to one of my favorite Disney characters, that was a bit- what?" Virgil looked at him confusedly, and that's what finally got Roman to look away.

"Nothing." He said shortly. He considered apologizing, but he figured that would make him look worse. Virgil just laughed lightly, not awkwardly. Mostly to himself about Roman's dorkiness. Roman felt his face heat up, and hated himself for it.

"Well, I should probably get home..." Virgil flopped back onto Roman's bed, stretching his arms out above his head. his shirt lifted slightly to follow, and Roman caught a glimpse of his navel, as well as some impressively sharp hip bones, and the very gentle start of a V-line. He forced himself to look away that time. Getting caught looking at someone's hair is one thing, but... but that, was something else entirely. Roman was already in dangerous waters, and he knew it.

"Ehem, well, I know you denied me last time," Roman began, flopping down beside Virgil and looking up at his pride flag, "but the offer of a ride is still up for grabs. Unless you'd rather be stuck on the bus at night for half an hour." Roman crossed his arms over his chest, and Virgil sat up to lean over him. He nearly opted to retort and deny the offer more snarkily than last time's failed attempt, but...

Roman's eyes. He'd never been close enough and calm enough simultaneously to really look at them; they were a deep melted milk chocolate brown, and held nearly imperceptible flecks of shining red. Virgil's eyebrows knit together, and he leaned closer to look into Roman's eyes more properly.

He didn't realize what he'd done until he'd started to reach down, almost putting his hand on Roman's cheek, and Roman made a small squealing noise to go with his completely tomatoed face. Virgil gasped slightly louder than he'd meant to and immediately recoiled.

"Shit, sorry, I just..." he considered shutting his ridiculous mouth and trying to move on, but he figured he couldn't leave that one without some kind of excuse. "I just haven't really looked at your eyes before. Not like, really, I mean. They're... nice. I like the little red bits." His voice grew much quieter as he spoke. He was facing away from Roman, and thank god, because if Roman could see his face he'd see peach-colored cheeks and a childish smile. And how very uncharacteristic of Virgil that would be.

"Thanks," Roman finally managed to huff. He stood slowly, trying to gather himself, and walked over to his desk, grabbing his car keys. He jangled them in his fingers, raising his eyebrows and silently asking Virgil if he'd take him up on the ride offer. Virgil, who had barely managed to discipline his face before Roman turned to him, just smiled very slightly and nodded.

Virgil grabbed his backpack, and Roman led the way from his room and out the front door to his ridiculous shiny-red mustang, which happened to have white racer stripes. Virgil thought this was pretty funny, but kept a sarcastic tease to himself for once in his life.

Virgil texted Roman his address from the passenger seat. While the bus ride to Virgil's house from Roman's was about 20-30 minutes, the car ride was less than 10. Roman considered putting on some music, but decided against it, considering what happened the last time they were alone with just music and each other. What the heckity heck is happening here?  When I imagine... love... this is what comes to mind. He cringed at himself, surprised and disgusted that he was admitting that. This doesn't feel the same as it does with Logan though... so then, maybe I truly love Logan, and Virgil just inexplicably makes my heart flutter? Of course, the only other possibility is so much worse-

Roman's thoughts were interrupted by Virgil shouting "RED LIGHT!!!" very suddenly, and Roman slammed the breaks.

"Jesus Princey, are you trying to kill me!? Is that why you were so hell-bent on driving me home??" Virgil's voice was mostly panic, but laced with some half-hearted sarcasm. He clearly had more panic and less sarcasm in it than he'd meant to. He was holding onto his seat and the door beside him for dear life, looking at Roman with wide eyes, his chest heaving comically. Roman was too dazed to laugh.

"Shit, I'm sorry," He looked up at the street light, which was in fact red. "I got lost in thought for a minute. I won't let it happen again while I'm responsible for you. My deepest apologies." Roman would have normally faux bowed and reached out for Virgil's hand to kiss his knuckles, but unfortunately Virgil was making him feel... well, bitterly jittery and not very glittery. Or maybe, too glittery. He didn't know anymore; all he knew is he had to leave his thoughts for when he got Virgil and then himself home safe.

"Lost in thought?" Virgil let that little comment slip sooner than he could corral himself, and almost brought his hand to cover his mouth, but far too late. Roman just looked at him anxiously, sighing.

"Yeah. I guess so." Roman wasn't normally this dismissive, and Virgil knew far better at this point than to press.

Before they were even on Virgil's street, he broke their awkward silence with an extremely unexpected "thanks for driving me home, Ro. You didn't have to, and I really appreciate it."

Roman was shaken to the core, partially by Virgil's sincerity and partially by the nickname. "Oh, uh, well, no need to thank me now. I nearly killed you once, and you aren't safe and sound at your destination just yet." He smiled softly over at the taller emo. Virgil just returned the smile.

A few moments later came a quiet "really though." Virgil's capacity for sincerity wasn't very extensive, and if anyone knew that it was Roman. He felt a blush creeping up his neck, and couldn't think of a good response.

Finally Roman turned onto Virgil's street, adhering to the 10 mph speed limit. He cruised to a stop in front of... what was apparently Virgil's house.

It wasn't what Roman was expecting at all. Not that his... notion, that Virgil's house looked something like Gru's house from Despicable Me, was something he thought was realistic. He just hadn't known how else to imagine it. Instead of anything close to dark and sinister, the outer walls were made of some gentle tan planks all stacked horizontally. There was a light turquoise front door with a rounded top, and to its left a large window covered most of the street-facing wall. In the window, Roman could see a round inviting table with a mother, a father and a young boy sharing dinner, all smiling and seemingly caught up in their nightly banter. They were all laughing and seemed so... happy. The house itself seemed to emanate a calm happiness.

"Is this...?" Roman gestured vaguely toward the house with the address Virgil had given him.

"Yep. There's my parents, and my brother. I guess I just missed the start of dinner." Virgil reached down between his ankles to grab his bag.

"Talk about clashing aesthetics." Roman smiled mischievously at Virgil, hoping to lighten the mood without sounding like a complete jerk, at least.

Virgil caught onto this, looking over and offering him a breathy laugh. "I know. It's almost a crime for me to live here."

Roman giggled, and they found themselves stuck looking into each other's eyes once again.

"W-well, I'd better-" Virgil turned and made to open his door, but something possessed Roman to lean over to Virgil and grab his shirt, accidentally pulling him far too close to his face. They both yelped simultaneously at the close proximity, and Virgil leapt back as far as his seat would allow him, grabbing it similarly to how he'd done when Roman had nearly driven through the red light earlier.

Virgil almost said something, but some noise outside stopped him. He turned to seek its source, giving Roman a view past him as well.

"Virgil, honey, is that you?" his mom called from the doorstep. She held Atticus on her hip, and Virgil's dad towered behind them in the doorway. all of them were waving. Virgil waved back deftly, and opened the car door. He turned to Roman once again, who looked as though someone had just stomped on his heart and twisted their foot viciously.

Virgil couldn't bring himself to smile at him, but offered instead something he hoped sounded kind. "See you in class tomorrow. And... thanks again for the ride."

With that, Virgil got out and shut the door behind him, and Roman watched as he reunited with his picture perfect family, unable to move for some god forsaken reason.

"Is that one of your friends from that biology project, Virgil? He's so cute!" Roman could hear Virgil's mom squeal at her approaching son.

"Mom, leave it be, will you? he's-" Virgil's voice was cut off as their front door was shut. Roman eventually managed to take a single deep breath.

He twisted in his seat to face forward again, gripping the steering wheel with whitening knuckles and staring blankly at the mustang logo in the wheel's center. What. Was. That.

...

Roman's ride home was fast. At least, it felt much faster than the ride to Virgil's house. He didn't come close to running any more red lights, and before he knew it he was twisting the keys out of the ignition and then stepping through his front door.

He couldn't shake the daze that was clouding all of his senses. He wasn't intercepted by either of his parents on his route from the front door to his bedroom, so there was nothing to distract him from his... distractedness. He flopped onto his bed, laying on his back the same way he'd done less than half an hour ago when Virgil had almost...

That's when the haziness suddenly sped up, and the fog in Roman's brain rapidly became a hurricane. He was so confused by his own feelings that he had to squeeze his eyes shut to will away a sob. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He pushed the palms of his hands against his closed eyelids, trying to distract himself with the aching pain and sparkling stars they brought to his eyes.

Meanwhile, Virgil had eaten dinner, thankfully and willingly accepting the pleasant distraction of his family's company. His mom was an excellent cook, and Atticus was extra animated about the stories of his adventures at school that day. He and his best friend had apparently played by the creek during recess, and found a tadpole to poke and prod. Virgil found his brother very endearing when he told his stories.

However, as all things are, his distraction was only temporary. Soon he found himself having finished the washing up after dinner and slowly trudging his way up the stairs to his room. The moment he shut his door behind him, all of the feelings that had been kept down since he'd gotten out of Roman's car crashed into him like a 20 foot wave. He leaned back against the shut door, sinking down to sit on the floor and hold his knees.

Roman and Virgil, clueless of each other, had the exact same thought at the exact same time.

Fuck. Why do I feel this way?

Quarantine, Day 194

September 21

So I didn't get done anything that involved leaving the house today, which is not great. It was just kind of a failure to launch day, I guess. I did get stuff done inside the house though; folded the laundry, made an enormous pot of spaghetti and meatballs, dewormed the kittens, etc. I will definitely have to leave the house tomorrow because when the kiddo realized tomorrow is going to be gorgeous all day, he was sad until I told him we could try doing school outside by hotspotting off my phone. (unlimited data on the family plan ftw!) He has now come up with an elaborate plan that also involves snacks and drinks, so I may have to get up a bit earlier than usual to set stuff up. I'm nobody's Pinterest Mom, but it's nice to do something a little different and fun sometimes. 

I realized I've been falling a little behind on watering my garden because I got so used to the rain, so I gave everything a good drink and perked it up today. I also harvested some more lemongrass and some ginger leaves and made a very nice tea from them. I learned today that lemongrass is perennial, so there is a possibility it might live through the winter and come back next year. It's not certain because I planted it in the most ridiculous possible spot, one of the side pockets in a strawberry pot, but it apparently liked it there well enough to grow like crazy all through the late summer. It and the lavender both survived, the cilantro grew and flowered and died, and the dill apparently didn't like being there. I did not put any strawberries in the strawberry pot this year because the plants I bought were too big. I think we may have explored this topic in the early early days of this journal but that was a thousand years ago and I do not remember. The ginger leaves just came from some ginger root that I forgot to use and stuck in an unused pot of dirt when it got all wrinkly. It grew beautifully! (Here's the strawberry pot early this summer on its trip to North Carolina. I got it in Laredo and it is one of my favorite things.)

I explained to the kiddo that today was the autumnal equinox, the day of the year where day and night are balanced, just before the nights start getting longer. He sighed and wished it was the other way around, so I also explained the vernal equinox. He was not impressed. He spent more time outdoors today and also a lot of time in with the kittens. They are at an extremely fun age right now, though apparently Audiva nearly got him chat banned on his minecraft server for typing gibberish. I can empathize, Sebell nearly installed the Harris Teeter app on my phone this evening by sitting on it. The biggest problem with the kiddo's current kitten preoccupation is definitely his allergies, poor kid. At least we have allergy meds for him. I also gave the kittens their second dewormer this evening, to take care of any nasty little roundworms. It's only Pyrantel though, so they'll probably need Drontal as well to take care of any tapeworms. Any kitten who has had fleas might have tapeworms, yucky. Better to take care of it while they are young and in foster! 

I keep telling myself that it is almost the end of the month, but it really is not. I can put off shopping for a few more days, but not ten full days till payday. The good news is I did get paid for some mystery shops I did a few weeks ago, so that's 70 dollars in pay any reimbursement that can go towards groceries. I already told my shopping people that I'm not doing any more restaurant shops this month because I'm out of money. They understand, they don't exactly have glamorous high-paying jobs themselves. I may, I suppose, do a couple of grocery store shops because I have to get groceries anyway, may as well take the edge off by getting a little bit paid for, right? If only it weren't the most expensive grocery stores hiring mystery shoppers! I have an extensive list by now that just keeps growing and growing, but the only thing I bought today was another pack of 50 disposable masks. They're cheap on Amazon if you don't mind waiting a month for them to ship, so I have just been ordering a new pack (about six dollars) every few weeks and assuming I will be ready for them by the time they arrive. 

In the meantime, I made a huge pot of spaghetti tonight so that we will have several meals worth of leftovers. I also pulled a ham out of the freezer (buy your ham after the ham holidays, so cheap!) and by the time the spaghetti is gone, the ham should be ready to cook. My husband doesn't like ham by itself much, but ham is incredibly versatile and can go into a million things. Plus ham salad is one of my favorite lunch foods ever. Anyway, I chopped up an onion and cooked it in a little butter till it was just starting to go a little golden, then threw in garlic and a pound of ground beef and a bunch of Penzey's Pasta Sprinkle. I used my Dutch oven because I wanted to make _lots._ When the meat was cooked I sponged off some of the grease with paper towels, then added an undrained can of diced tomatoes, a couple spoonsful of sugar, some salt and pepper, and three cans of the cheapest brand of spaghetti sauce. You really can't beat the convenience and volume of just oomphing up the kind of sauce that's 88 cents for a 20 ounce can. I threw in a bunch of frozen meatballs and simmered it for twenty minutes, then added a few big handfuls of mozzarella cheese and served it over angel hair. Very popular, and so many leftovers! I am the best at dinner. 

This day’s entry is already getting long, but I really ought to remember the Punching Mattress for posterity as well. The kiddo is now happy in his new bed on his new mattress, which means the old bed is kaput. I sold the twin frame in less than a day on Facebook Marketplace for 25 dollars. I paid 90 for it in 2013, so it was a good deal for both parties.  The mattress is only about a year old, but the kiddo has had a few destructive-feelings days and kind of severely messed up the fabric on one end. So it's not likely we're going to be able to do anything with that mattress and for now it is leaning against the wall in our entrance hallway like we're expecting a human cannonball over for dinner. I don't even remember who started it now, but it has become a good place to let off some excess energy by pretending you are a superhero or a championship martial artist. Yelling "punch, punch, punch!" while punching the mattress is optional but encouraged unless somebody is in a Zoom class. It's good exercise, and cathartic, too! I'm kind of melancholy about the idea of getting rid of it already.   

title : Beat Red word count : 935

summary : You head over to the Yamada household for another casual gaming night.

“Hey,” you whispered, tapping on the shoulder of your classmate. “Could you pass this to Yamada-kun?”

Your classmate knew the drill, and didn’t bother turning around as you handed him a folded up scrap of notebook paper. Its contents as innocuous as they come; a mere question asking if you could still come over after school. But oh, passing notes in class, how scandalous. Detention was almost inevitable if you were found out.

Jiro, fool that he was, turned around when your classmate offered him the note. Your hawk-like teacher was quick to single him out.

“Yamada-kun!”

Jiro whipped his head around to the front of the classroom, utterly frozen in place in his chair.

“Y-Yes!?”

“I know you find poetry boring, but please try and pay attention. You wouldn’t want me to call your brother for the third time this week, would you?”

Jiro’s shoulders dropped. The class burst out laughing.

“Y-Yes…”

You couldn’t see his face, but it was probably beet red in that way it always was when he got embarrassed. Poor guy. You would have to apologize to him for that later.

After class, you met up with Jiro in the hallway. You apologized for (almost) getting him in trouble (again) and he shrugged it off like he always did.

“So did you read my note?” You asked.

“Oh, I was so scared of getting scolded again that I forgot all about it.”

“That’s okay, I just wanted to know if I could still come over today, that’s all.”

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “You can still come over if you want. Today’s my brothers day off, so he should be home unless he’s shopping or something.”

“Great!” You beamed. You were just going to hang out and play video games, but you’d been looking forward to this little get together all week. “I need to stop by the convenience store first, then I can meet up with you at your place.”

“Oh, okay.” Jiro sounded disappointed. “Actually, can I, uh. Can I go with you? I need to get some stuff too.”

You smiled. “Sure.”

You stopped by the bathroom on your way out, and walked with Jiro from the school gate to the convenience store a ways down the street. He walked with his hands in his pockets and let you do most of the talking. You would say something, and he’d say very little in response. You’d crack a joke, and he’d laugh.

He very clearly liked you and you very clearly liked him, and everyone else knew it, but your relationship didn’t go beyond that. Stuck in a cruelly self-imposed limbo, with neither of you knowing how to confess your feelings for each other and break free. Not that your friends and classmates didn’t tease you both relentlessly for it, however.

Jiro ended up leaving the convenience store empty handed. You bought an ice cream cone for yourself, and you slowly finished it off while you walked with Jiro by your side.

Ichiro was the one to greet you two at the door, with that smug smirk and questioning look you came to know so well. “Back for more again, are we?”

“Cut it out,” said Jiro, his face already turning red.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby, Jiro. I’m just teasing you.” He turned towards you. “Are you hungry?”

You shook your head.

“No? You sure? …Alright, well, come on in. There’ll be leftovers in the fridge if you want ‘em.”

You two quickly headed for the living room after Ichiro let you guys in. It was empty, thankfully, and it didn’t look like anyone had called dibs on the gaming console yet. (Score!)

You sat in your usual spot on the couch while Jiro looked through his games. He held up a copy of My Happy Little Home, a cute farming simulator with an emphasis on building relationships with other people and nature.

“You like this one right?”

You smiled. “Yup. It’s my favorite game.”

He popped the game in without another word, turned the console on, and handed you a controller before sitting down on the couch next to you. The game was single-player (for the most part), but allowed other people to join you on your farm to help out.

The title screen loaded and you opened your save file. There was a second save file, which you guessed belonged to Jiro, but he had only put a few hours into his file. And by the looks of it, yours was left untouched.

You two picked up where you’d left off the last time you came over, and you played for hours. Ichiro interrupted you once for food, and Saburo interrupted you periodically to ask questions about the game.

Jiro was kind enough to answer his questions for you, as you didn’t want to be rude by telling him to just play the damn game himself. Jiro continued to answer Saburo’s volley of questions until he asked him how he knew so much about the game, despite only having put a handful of hours into it.

“You’re annoying, Saburo,” Jiro spat.

“You only play when they come over.” Saburo pointed out.

Jiro’s face was redder than the tomatoes on your farm by now. “Fuck. Off.”

Saburo smiled a catty smile. “Oh, I see.”

That seemed to be the answer Saburo was looking for, because he promptly fucked off.

“Sorry about him,” Jiro said to you with a defeated look.

You gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s okay,” you said. “Want to play Space Fighter Z now? That’s your favorite game, right?”

Jiro beamed. “Yeah!”

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? Technically, it’s a fruit. What is the best gift anyone has ever gotten for you? Anything that was handmade or homemade, because it truly came from the heart. Do you look anything like you did 3 years ago? I guess so. I haven’t changed THAT much. Have you done something dramatic to your looks in the past year? No, I wouldn’t say so. Makeup or no makeup? Definitely no makeup. What's your favorite thing to watch on the TV? I recently finished watching Cruel Summer on Freeform. What are you listening to? The Edge of Seventeen - on Netflix (it’s a movie) Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Neither... What's a random fact about your best friend? I have a huge crush on her. but am too scared to tell her. What's the weather like outside? Sunny and warm. Do you upload videos to YouTube? No, but if I wasn’t so shy, maybe I would. Do you own any albums by Michael Jackson? I do not. I don’t listen to his music. I do know of a few popular songs, though. What time do you start school/work? I’m self-employed, so whenever I want. Do you like your phone on silent or vibrate? Usually I leave it on ring in case of emergencies, unless I’m somewhere like a church or wherever. How do you fill an awkward silence? I stay quiet, otherwise I make it even more awkward. Do you listen to music everyday? I do listen to music on a daily basis. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? I’m not a fan of them. What do you believe happens after we die? I’m pretty sure we unfortunately just rot in the ground or wherever. Does the concept of eternity scare you? If I’m the only one living in it, then sure. If I have people with me, maybe not so much. Are you happy that you were born and raised where you were? Yes, but not always the ways in which I was raised, if that makes any sort of sense. Are your parents still together? They are still married, yes. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? I know of a few people, but no one that I’m extremely close with. What did you do for the new year?  I was lame and I fell asleep before midnight. I was supposed to kiss my best friend at midnight and tell her how I really feel about her - but it’s August now, and here we are - still haven’t had the conversation yet. Have you ever wanted to travel the world? Yes, but I’ll never have the funds for that. Is there a band you like but don't like the people in it? I don’t know the band people personally, so no. What tabs do you have open right now? Just Tumblr and Bzoink. Who was the last person to write on your wall on Facebook? I couldn’t tell you without bothering to check first. What have you done today? Not a whole lot, to be perfectly honest with you. Are you in love? No, but there are people that I do love. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Thankfully, that’s never happened before. Do you like coats with fluffy hoods? I’d rather my coat not have a fluffy hood. Do you like trying new things? It depends on what it is. I’m kind of skeptical about new foods, usually.