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haejjoon · 1 year

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I just finished Royal and I've been really enjoying the swap au, and your take on the characters!

You said you had lots of thoughts about Yusuke too? 👀

WE REALLY ARE TAKING TURNS WITH CHARACTER ANALYSIS i should just make it a tag at this point. ykw im gonna do that.

okay, onto yusuke:

I adore him. completely and utterly. he’s my favorite boy apart from akeshu and for WILDLY obvious reasons: he’s fun, SUCH a character, and his story arc feels whimsy but not so out there that it feels unrealistic. adding onto the fact that i’m an artist myself, gunning to go pro, and he’s so relatable it hurts. straps yusuke onto the operating table let’s do this

1) his struggles relating to madarame

one thing that i’ll say right off the bat is that i HATE how the pts approached him. its nonsensical. even if ryuji and ann aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed how the hell did they think that approaching a stranger and saying “YOU’RE BEING ABUSED WE CAN HELP YOU FIGHT YOUR ABUSER” was going to turn out well in any way possible?? the writing suffers from something similar during ryuji’s run with akiren to question the volleyball team members. ryuji and ann, as dull as they may be, are abuse victims themselves; surely they’d understand why abuse victims would be hesitant to say anything? especially when a stranger gets all up in your face about it.

but apart from that: i love how yusuke dealt with all of it. i’m not saying that him becoming defensive over madarame was a good thing, but in terms of realism, it just Makes Sense. children raised by abusive guardians often aren’t aware how they’re taken advantage of, and when they’re as isolated from society as yusuke is, their obvious first instinct is to defend those who raised them. it’s like rapunzel about mother gothel from disney’s tangled. of course yusuke defended madarame’s ‘love’; he never knew what love was.

it isn’t even only that. yusuke and madarame are both branded as very traditionally japanese, from how they speak to how they dress. it’s even shown in their primary art medium—traditional painting and japanese oil work. i’m not japanese, but i am korean, and if there’s anything i’ve learned while growing up in a traditional asian household: it’s very suffocating. the filial piety you learn from high school history class isn’t just a far-off tradition in the old ages, it’s EXTREMELY prevalent even today. i can’t even count the amount of times i was put down or chastised for simply speaking out of turn, and that was with my parents trying to adapt to the american standards of respect.

in this context, it makes even more sense for yusuke to defend madarame so vehemently. it’s literally been ingrained into him growing up. the entire “parents are right, children are wrong” mentality is SO strong with the Growing Up Asian experience, and that’s coming from a korean-american. i can’t even imagine the kind of shit yusuke’s had to go through.

and it’s with all that that i find it so cathartic and admirable that yusuke finally managed to recognize madarame for the shitbag he is. genuinely, the amount of brainwashing he’d been forced through should have made it impossible for him to fight back, but my boy did it—and in the most stylish way possible, might i add!!! he stuck it to madarame and finally recognized his own worth. that’s incredible. i’m so proud of him.

but what makes all that even BETTER is his CONFIDANT STORY, and OH MY GOD I’M NEVER SHUTTING UP ABOUT HOW AMAZING IT IS MOVING ON TO POINT TWO

2. HIS CONFIDANT STORY OHHHH MY GOD

one of the biggest opinions ive heard about yusuke’s confidant story is that it doesn’t make sense or that it’s in his own head. SLAMS ATTORNEY DESK. OBJECTION YOUR HONOR ITS TIME FOR THE CROSS EXAMINATION

of COURSE it’s all in his own head. his confidant begins after madarame’s arrested and he finally, finally gets to be his own person and live on his own. the physical threat is gone!! but one of the most amazing things about his story arc is the depiction that childhood trauma never truly goes away. madarame being gone for good doesn’t automatically mean that yusuke’s mentally safe and sound. in fact, it fucks with him even more that he’s free—he doesn’t know how to live on his own, or how to make art for himself.

he’s literally lived his entire life for someone else; how can you expect him to suddenly go out and do whatever he wants? until this point in time, yusuke’s wants didn’t matter. he didn’t matter. the only important thing to him was pumping out art for madarame to display at his next show JUST TO SURVIVE. to EAT. i’m gonna get into his whole thing with eating in a second but i’m just putting that out there: it’s all in his own head because it has to be. he has to grow mentally in order for him to to do anything.

with that point out of the way: yusuke doesn’t forgive madarame for what he’s done, especially with his mother, but he also just has no idea what to feel about him in general? there’s two clashing images: one, of the teacher who (in yusuke’s view) loved and raised him, and one, of the monster who let his mother die in cold blood to get his hands on her personal artwork. and you might say “oh well yusuke’s being delusional again because madarame never truly loved him.” no. it isn’t delusion. it’s how yusuke’s been raised. he didn’t recognize madarame’s abuse because he never registered it as abuse. he was never taught that it was abuse. unlike shiho and ann who knew that what kamoshida was doing was wrong, yusuke never had anyone to tell him that madarame was taking advantage of him.

yusuke didn’t have anyone.

throughout his confidant story, he agonizes over his purpose for creating art at all—it makes sense, as his only purpose thus far was to put food on the table and to avoid verbal abuse from his father figure. yes, he said that his only purpose for creating art in the past was because he wished to put beauty in the world like his mother did with sayuri, but is that really all there was to it? i don’t think so. yusuke created art to survive, and coped with it by staring at his “sensei”’s magnum opus and telling himself that he was creating things for the sake of creation, not to give in to his survivalist instinct. it was a coping mechanism. i’ll live and die by this.

and this is also why he crumbles so much over that art director coming to him to monetize his work. he’s now aware that what he was striving for in the past was fake. he wants to truly pursue that goal again, to create something beautiful just for the sake of creating, but now he’s been thrust into the real world—one of capitalism, one where corruption thrives. the pure art he wants to make just doesn’t exist here. it never did. and that realization destroys him.

now if you Didn’t Know, i’m also an artist. i’m literally the same age as yusuke is (if not a little older), and that truth hurts. the fact that i have to make art in order to feed and clothe and keep myself warm hurts. there’s nothing i’d like better than to just make things i want to make, but i can’t, not in this world. his struggle is so realistic, and it rings so deep. every time i experience his story it always leaves me feeling bittersweet.

but then!!! at the end of his story!!!! he comes to a very important realization.

all of that’s okay.

it’s okay to profit off of your work. it’s okay to make things other people like. it doesn’t make you any less of a person to seek compensation for your work. it’s doesn’t make you any less of a human to seek praise for the amazing things you create. it’s okay.

and to the non-artists out there who might not understand why this is such a groundbreaking revelation: artists are constantly being put down in this capitalistic society. art is literally everywhere you look—it’s in the buildings you occupy, in the subways you ride, in the words you read, in the shows you consume. art is one of the cornerstones for what makes humans human, and those who create such beautiful things are never given credit.

just look at the ai discourse happening recently. look at how artists are treated when they stress about having art stolen or watermarks erased. to people like us, our creations are proof of us being alive. it’s our living mark on the world, one that will remain (physically or digitally) long after we ourselves pass away. but we’re constantly, constantly told that “it’s not that deep”, “you’re being selfish”, yadda yadda yadda. we’re shit on simply because we want to survive in this hellish fucking world. and that builds up.

so many aspiring artists out there give up too soon because of this. because art isn’t profitable, because we have to survive, because no one appreciates what you do no matter how beautiful it is or how much work you put in.

but then, persona 5 finally turned around, and told an entire generation of aspiring artists that their work was important. you are important. it’s okay to profit off of what you do.

that’s fucking incredible. it’s also a really, REALLY low bar, but it’s something. yusuke coming to the realization that creating art for himself is okay, whether it be for monetization or praise, was so cathartic to me. i’m sure other artists feel the same way.

his story arc is a fucking fantastic depiction of how much artists suffer, no matter what medium or era.

…….. and then people turn around and shit on it because they don’t understand its intricacies. as expected.

sigh.

3. the theme of going hungry

throughout the entirety of the game, yusuke’s depicted as the quintessential ‘starving artist’. he’s always hungry, and never knows how to budget his money, and that shit’s hilarious but also really, really fucking sad.

i remember reading a fantastic yusuke study on ao3 a couple years back—forgot who the author was, but it’s called “the emperor”—and it said something along the lines of this: “you have to eat in order to starve.”

like.

oh my GOD.

and it plays in so terrifically with the experience of creating art, as well. you have to eat in order to starve; you have to taste in order to crave. you have to experience praise in order to want it more. i’ve gone through dry spells where no one saw what i made, and it only made me go hungry for that appreciation again—and then i get it, just a little taste of it. i keep making content. i keep on going and going and going just to get the smallest bit of acknowledgement.

for those who’ve ever gone hungry before: would you be able to turn down a feast, if offered? would you be able to pace yourself, or would you inhale it quick as you can? if you’ve ever eaten a large meal after being hungry for a day or two, you’d know that it would immediately come back to bite you in the ass. you’d stop eating for a bit, you’d get hungry again, and then you’d scarf down another gigantic meal, rinse and repeat.

the correct choice here is to moderate yourself. take it slow. eat enough to be full, and pace yourself so that you won’t have to go horribly hungry to eat again.

yusuke, starved for appreciation, suddenly finds himself with the offer of his life. he’ll be sponsored by one of the most influential art directors in all of japan. he’ll be successful; he’ll have a scholarship, he’ll never, ever have to go hungry again—

and then he turns it down.

because this entire time, the hunger allegory was about success. you get the opportunity of a lifetime, and you invest everything you have into it—you eat and you eat and you eat until you can’t anymore, and then you find that that the satisfaction of finally feeling full has long since gone, and now you’re hungry again. you’re still a nobody. no one remembers your one-off success.

yusuke refuses the incredible offer, and decides to build his success slowly. he won’t take it all in stride. he’ll pace himself until he doesn’t have to be starving to eat.

that’s FUCKING brilliant.

i have so much more to say about yusuke than just this—how i feel about him (being, in my opinion, incredibly autistic-coded) as an artist with adhd, how his behavior is treated by the phantom thieves, how he plays into the phantom thieves as the sole creative mind of the group—but if i get into all that i’ll literally be typing on my ipad forever. i’ve already been sitting here for thirty minutes instead of finishing up chapter 5 of ex machina. oh god i love yusuke so much.

if you somehow came across this gigantic character dissection on your tl, hey hello hi, i also write stories! currently working on a swap au in my spare time, you might’ve heard of it. ex machina by hhaeyeun on ao3. check it out <3

thanks for the opportunity anon i’m So Sorry to have filled your inbox with this absolute beefcake of a reply. have a lovely day <3

#yusuke kitagawa #character study #persona 5 royal #p5r

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ao3feed-itafushi · 1 month

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In the flutter of a dragonflies broken wings

by Willifer Guilt still resides, both parties are hosts, but each will help the other, and the burden will lessen. It will, within time. However long that time will be. Some things can’t be taken back, never, but that’s okay. You cannot say words to the dead, you cannot ask for forgiveness, but you can find it in you to forgive yourself. Forgive those around you. To move on, trek forward, become better. Things got better, and they will continue to. Or, at the very least, if it doesn’t, they can say they tried. ————— Or, Satoru Gojo convinced his other half to return, in hopes that they can start anew. Words: 2007, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: M/M Characters: Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru, Fushiguro Megumi, Itadori Yuuji, Kugisaki Nobara, Nanami Kento, Hasaba Mimiko, Hasaba Nanako, Fushiguro Tsumiki, Ieiri Shoko, Iori Utahime Relationships: Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru & Gojo Satoru, Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji, Ieiri Shoko/Iori Utahime Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, satosugu, Gojo and Geto are married, Gojo Satoru Needs a Hug, Getou Suguru Needs a Hug, Getou Suguru Lives, Parental Gojo Satoru, Parental Getou Suguru, Pre-Shibuya Incident Arc (Jujutsu Kaisen), Soft Gojo Satoru, Soft Getou Suguru, Teacher Getou Suguru, Married Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru, Trans Gojo Satoru from AO3 works tagged 'Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji' https://ift.tt/GzLkFOC

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #itafushi #itadori yuuji #fushiguro megumi #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fushiita

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knightprincess · 2 months

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Forgive Me (Echo x Medic Reader) Part 21

Words: 1.7k Warning: None - Set during TBB Season 2 Finale Pronouns Used: She/Her (Use of Y/N)

"You said you needed help with something," worded Tech upon reaching Echo, finally regaining his stable balance after Omega's flying lesson over the sunny skies of Pabu. He readjusted his goggles slightly upon the Arc Trooper holding out a data stick filled with what remained of the imperial encrypted data from the prison ship he, Gregor, and a few others had retrieved Howzer from.

"Where's (Y/N)?" questioned Omega, briefly looking around Echo to the ship he'd been piloting. "You said you'd bring her with you," she added, hope filling her golden eyes at finally meeting the famed medic. The one she had heard stories about from both Echo and her other brothers. Tech had a few videos of her, although he'd only shared the humorous ones. Hunter's mood seemed to lift, too, when someone mentioned the medic, whereas Wrecker could never stop the grin from appearing.

"She on her own mission," sadly spoke Echo, the worry and dread he'd felt since they'd separated shimmering in his pale eyes, the fear he'd tried so hard to bury bubbling to the surface again. Although deep down, he questioned where his Snap was safest, on the run with Wolffe or within the imperial ranks as one of their specialized personnel, or maybe she would have been safer with the Batch there on Pabu. Out of the way and hidden. The latter two options posed a significant danger. The Empire had already shown its cruelty and willingness to dispose of those who failed or refused to do what was asked of them. However, being on the run wasn't much better, being constantly hunted and trying to survive in the ever-changing galaxy, the bounty hunters, and the lack of trust in everyone around.

"You'll meet her someday," commented Tech, stepping back toward the Marauder to decrypt the information on the data stick. He could sense the urgency and felt the information would somehow link to Snap and her mission. Omega soon ran over to Lyana, a playful but happy smile on her lips, Wrecker nearby, ready to play the game of tag he'd promised them days prior.

"How dangerous is Snap's mission?" asked Hunter upon the Arc Trooper joining him near the arched pillars. They watch the scene of Wrecker playing with the kids unfold before them. "I don't need enhanced senses to see you're afraid to lose her, Echo," added the sergeant, a shadow of a smirk appearing across his lips.

"As part of Cody's plan, she joined the Imperial ranks and the Dark Trooper project," began Echo, trying his best to push down the fear bubbling again. Even more so as he remembered Rex's last words before he left for Pabu. "She had a tracking device disguised as a necklace to find the Advanced Science Division's secret facility. It stopped transmitting weeks ago; the last known location was Wabani. Intel from Senator Chuchi suggests she was on Daro for a short time before being moved elsewhere," he explained, feeling the familiar feeling of impending doom again. No matter how hard they fought to get information and fight against the Empire, The Imperials and the Empreror always seemed to be several steps ahead.

"She'll be alright, Echo," started Hunter, placing a comforting hand on the Arc Trooper's shoulder. "She's a fighter. Stronger than most realize," added the Sargent, fondly recalling the past. The few times Snap had been on loan with them during the war. Despite her fragile appearance, she was anything but; easily getting each of them to submit to her, she'd read each as if they were an open book, even Crosshair. Like Omega, (Y/N) had picked up skills and learned from each—Tech more than most, who had taught her to fly confidently and a few other things.

"Found something," came Tech's voice over the coms, unusually void of emotions as if trying to hide how he felt about something. Hunter and Echo glanced at each other before their attention turned to Wrecker and the girls. Turning just in time to witness the human bulldozer trip over a tree root and fall while playfully chasing Omega and Lyana. The girl's laughter could be heard before Tech's message reached them. After which, it was as if the fun and laughter had been erased, as if they had never been in the first place. Replaced by cold seriousness as if the axe of execution hung in every shadow.

The short walk to the Marauder was filled with silence, neither pairing speaking a word even when they joined a small group and met Tech aboard the ship. On the screen before Tech was a picture of an unknown man and the limited information known about him. On another screen were the old communication logs from the war; it was clear there was a reason for their old communications to be up.

"Dr Royace Hemlock, head of the Advanced Science Division. It appears the clones Echo and co-rescued were being sent to him. All data regarding location had been erased; for all intents and purposes, he is a ghost," Tech started, a deep sigh escaping him. "I found a list of clones sent to him, and Crosshair is among them," he added, hearing the surprise lacing Wrecker's voice upon the question escaping his lips. Crosshair turned on the empire? "I checked our old coms as well. And found a message from him. Plan 88: The Seeker"

"I have a bad feeling about this," worded Echo, feeling the heaviness set over his chest. Everything seemed to point to the Advanced Science Division, and Snap was now in the middle of the danger with the mystery doctor. "I'll contact Rex to see if more information can help us," he commented before walking toward the cockpit. He sensed the sudden wave of tension, the confusion regarding Crosshair. He could sense the oncoming disagreement regarding joining the fight, even temporarily.

"Any word from Snap?" asked Echo once Rex had answered the call. Deep down, Echo already knew the answer but couldn't help hoping. "Or Wolffe?" he questioned, knowing Wolffe had also joined the ranks of the Empire intending to protect (Y/N), although it hadn't worked out that way. Instead, they'd been separated. Wolffe had been incorporated into the security bureau his knowledge and skills deemed worthy of a high position, and he'd been able to pass along valuable information.

"Wolffe found intel of a meeting on Eriadu," started Rex, a sense of guilt about him as he was once again to deliver the news there had been no word from Snap, despite Gregor monitoring the coms and tracking device with the hope of finding something. "Tarkin and a select number of high-ranking imperials. Hemlock is one of them."

"Send me the information," replied Echo without hesitation. Quickly devising a plan, if they could tag Hemlock's ship, they could track him back to the highly secret facility he was in charge of. With luck, they'd find Crosshair and (Y/N) there too. "It appears Crosshair turned on the empire, so he might be able to give us some more information if we can get him out," spoke the Arc Trooper once again, trying to bury the feelings bubbling up: fear, concern, dread, grief, and hopelessness. "Let me know if you hear from Snap," asked Echo before ending the call and rejoining the others, already knowing there would be no backup. Their numbers were already limited and stretched to the brink.

"He's our brother, and we don't leave our own behind," commented Tech as Echo returned to the gathering. At least confirming the Arc Troopers' suspicion regarding a disagreement had been correct. Wrecker was clearly unsure how to feel or express his feelings. Crosshair had chosen the empire but now seemingly turned on them. Meanwhile, Hunter was suspicious, as if suspecting a trap. On the other hand, Omega and Tech were ready to launch a rescue mission to retrieve their brother from the jaws of the empire and uncertainty.

"Rex's intel suggests Hemlock will be attending a meeting on Eriadu, Tarkin's fort," spoke Echo, almost spitting the last two words as if they were a vile poison. "If we go, we'll be going alone, no backup," he added, knowing there'd be no one to get them out if they ran into trouble. Like with Kamino the year prior and Skako Minor before that. Each time, they'd come close to losing everything, but by the luck of the maker, a Jedi, and AZ, they'd managed to get out on their own.

"Any word from Snap?" asked Hunter, knowing he was outnumbered. The risk was great, but each was willing to take it to rescue Crosshair and help the uprising gain more valuable information. The Sargent knew if there was a chance to get ahold of (Y/N) as well, they might as well take it, even more so knowing the chance may not arise again for some time, if at all.

"None. Even Rex is starting to get worried now," admitted Echo, suspecting the Captain regretted his decision to send Snap into the thick of things. She was a friend, and each had put her in harm's way, Snap herself included. "All we know is the facility is highly secure, nobody knows of its location, and imperials erase everything to do with it when under attack or caught," explained the Arc Trooper, pushing away the intruding thoughts of losing someone he cared for, a member of his family both those of Clone Force 99 and outside of it.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go get Crosshair and (Y/N)," called Omega, walking off toward the cockpit, almost as if she was silently saying she would fly them to Eriadu if needed. With a nod of confirmation from Hunter, Tech followed to input the coordinates. Meanwhile, Echo tried to busy himself by preparing the kits and ensuring all had what was needed for the cruel terrain waiting for them. Hunter, on the other hand, re-read over the data they had on Hemlock and the illusive advanced science division, trying his hardest to push away and bury all the feelings something was about to go horribly wrong. He wanted Crosshair back, too, for his small family to be whole once more, but he found himself asking what the cost would be. Just as he questioned what the price of Echo and Rex's war would end up being?

Series Masterlist

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best-underrated-anime · 3 months

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Best Underrated Anime Group E Round 3: #E4 vs #E7

#E4: Gay found family criminals versus corrupt nobility

#E7: Teenage boys use empathy to solve problems for youkai

Details and poll under the cut!

#E4: Moriarty the Patriot (Yuukoku no Moriarty)

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Summary:

During the late 19th century, Great Britain has become the greatest empire the world has ever known. Hidden within its success, the nation's rigid economic hierarchy dictates the value of one's life solely on status and wealth. To no surprise, the system favors the aristocracy at the top and renders it impossible for the working class to ascend the ranks.

William James Moriarty, the second son of the Moriarty household, lives as a regular noble while also being a consultant for the common folk to give them a hand and solve their problems. However, deep inside him lies a desire to destroy the current structure that dominates British society and those who benefit from it.

Alongside his brothers Albert and Louis, William will do anything it takes to change the filthy world he lives in—even if blood must be spilled.

Propaganda:

The story isn’t quite on par with the manga (solely due to there being not enough episodes to cover full character arcs), but the ‘eat the rich’ vibes are immaculate, the plot is complex and interesting, the queercoding and subtext are both wonderfully done, AND there is a CANON TRANS CHARACTER !!!!

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Rape/Non-Con, Self-Harm, Suicide

#E7: The Morose Mononokean (Fukigen na Mononokean)

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Summary:

Without realizing it, a high schooler named Ashiya Hanae shows kindness to a youkai and is subsequently possessed by it on the first day of class. The spirit clings to his shoulder, making him progressively sicker each day. After a week of collapsing on his way into school, Ashiya notices a “Help Wanted” flyer for an exorcism service in the nurse’s office. Desperate, he calls the service, only to find that it is run by his grumpy classmate.

Abeno Haruitsuki prefers youkai to humans, sleeps through class, and is the master of a sentient tea room called the Mononokean, where youkai come for help with their problems. It turns out that they’re mostly benign, and exorcising them to the Underworld is safer for them. Ashiya convinces Abeno to exorcise the spirit possessing him, but Abeno demands he work part-time for the Mononokean as repayment. Abeno’s intimate knowledge of the spirit world and Ashiya’s empathetic nature form a great contrast as they work together.

Propaganda:

The Morose Mononokean is a beautifully written and animated coming-of-age story— with youkai, which can only ever make a piece of media better. The characters, both human and youkai, are fully three-dimensional, and although there isn’t much of an overarching plot in the first season/early manga chapters, the episodic stories contribute to the growth of both Ashiya and Abeno; their juxtaposed methods of problem-solving, and the way they affect and learn from each other’s perspectives as they become closer, are very satisfying both to analyze and to experience on an emotional level. Beyond the writing, the art is outstanding as well. The designs for the youkai characters are frequently adorable, occasionally terrifying, and always quite original, brilliantly incorporating characteristics of existing creatures in novel ways. The occasional visits to the Underworld are always a visual treat, with vibrant colors and a unique animation style painting the backdrop. Both the art and the characters are delightful and moving, and the OP is a banger. As a connoisseur of urban fantasy, Fukigen na Mononokean’s focus on emotion over action has made it my all-time favorite anime in the genre.

Trigger Warnings: None.

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

#anime #best underrated anime #polls #poll tournament #tournament #anime tournament #animation #group stage #group stage round 3 #tournament polls #group e #yuumori #yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #fukigen na mononokean #the morose mononokean #morose mononokean

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sofonn · 1 year

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Hello! I wanted to thank you for being such a big lhs fan, hehe. For a long time, it did not seem like he got too much attention (lonely first writer of kdj/lhs on ao3 (but now the tag is a bit bigger!)) so seeing your art has been very enjoyable. I also find your sense of composition and imagery very beautiful! Thanks for making the lhs tag more exciting!

This. All of those nice things you written here... truly the best words a fan can receive from anybody, for real. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) ❤️

I began to read orv not a while ago, only last autumn, but LHS caught my attention almost immediately: I just love this type of characters who are strong, big, kind, loyal (sometimes dog-coded hehe), but besides of this character features I adore his own story and arc. It may seem simple but I never thought simple=bad or worse than complicated stories since simple stories can be more heartcatching (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

And his story... Well, his story is quite catching and somehow relatable to me. Every single moment we saw his development in text he didn't just "evolved" like game-char with bigger stats but sometimes more of that. He was been becoming more... human, during all those arcs and with every other character, making the power of the orv's narrative only stronger.

LHS's change from reluctant soldier to a willing protector was a long way, but I saw it was inevitable (good for him). All moments he chose not to throw himself away for others but become stronger despite all pain... Well, this made me cry.

I recall the moment from Oz arc and dialog between LHS and his sponsor which made my cry for like half an hour:

Every single moment from this arc is precious. Idk if I have enough time to write a long ass post about how and for what i do love LHS, but the best I can do is drawing, even tho now it's hard thing to do. Drawing him helps me cope with war trauma i experiencing now (and maybe this was one of the thing why I love military character lol).

And I deeply appreciate your compliments. They gave me a smile and this tiny warm feeling in a heart that I surely will remember.

Can I please ask you to share your ao3 account? I've read every KDJ/LHS fic there (and even wrote some by myself, the only pity it's on ukrainian), but I'm not sure what are yours. Wanted to thank you for your work too!

P.S. I also have few spotify LHS-related playlists, adding it here

This are "classic" and 999th LHS playlist and somehow second happened to be better than first but still

Next ones are related to his dynamics with other characters. It may seem little romantic in some song choices but romance isn't main motive there

Once again thank you so much!!! Happy to know my art brighten your day (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

#reply #orv #lee hyunsung #lhs #text post #song headcanons #:3 #orv lhs

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ngmn2002 · 8 months

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I wonder if Nene becoming younger will mean she is less on her guard with Tsukasa... so she will trust him more? Maybe also as he shows more of his caring side, like in Monster Nursery (?) he will win her over, what do you think? It could be the first step in learning to trust Tsukasa?

I do think so, too! I think she still didn't get to see much of Tsukasa's caring side! Let alone sharing some time with him under let's say... sort of normal circumstances, alone together... once he shows her that side, I think she will start warming up to him little by little.

Judging by her relationship with little Tsukasa, it was too good, they became close pretty quickly and she showed to really care for him and enjoy his company.

12 y.o Tsukasa... she didn't see on guard around that one, too. So, it feels to me... it's not that she is afraid of Tsukasa as a person and all that stuff, but of the "Scary" things he might do. I believe their first meeting is a factor on how her way of seeing him developed.

ooops... that's a bad guy.

Then in the tea party... he just kidnapped her, joked about eating her, got her living a terrifying experience and what he said doesn't make things better.

this thing really hit her hard to the point she still recalls it in future events.

I can't keep my guard down around him! I can't trust him or what happened in the tea party will happen again! I can't risk it!

Then we got to hell of mirrors... wow... she sees him as an enemy in there, even.

well yeah, after what he said about him and Amane and what he did to her... maybe she has to feel this way. Also, what happened with No.3 and Mitsuba in front of her, then what he did with her didn't help much......

Then the p.p arc came and I really appreciate after getting to see glimpses of how the twins are together, she kinda started thinking in a different way, and took this into consideration.

"What Tsukasa-kun is really after?" A small step into the right direction.

Then, ch 91...... uh... can't tell how she feels in there.... she asked him to let her go... what he put her in after sending her to Sumire's place (destroy her or never leave the boundary).... is not too comforting.....

on the other hand... her little fantasy world shows she is into these stuff and finds them attractive in a way?

Anyway, overall... her experiences with yorishiro Tsukasa, unlike little Tsu or 12 y.o one, are not that "fun". But now!! This whole "misunderstanding" can change!! Strating with the little game of tag, maybe more fun memories between her and Tsukasa will be added to the record!

Tsukasa trying to take care of her, showing his sweet caring side, she will open up to him, right? these nice gestured will warm their way up to her heart, right? "maybe I was wrong about him? maybe I didn't see the whole picture and kept focused on one side?" "Tsukasa- kun is actually nice" "it's fun to be around him" maybe with that our guarded Nene may start to get her guard down around him little by little, those scary memories of their interactions will start getting overpowered by warm, gentle ones... causing a sparkle of trust would bloom in her heart? maybe then she will go like "little Tsukasa-kun was like this, too..." "I want to know more about Tsukasa-kun! I want to get to know him better!"

I think her being younger will also play a role in breaking the ice between them! judging by Mr. T... wining little Nene's heart will be an inevitable thing for Tsukasa! ♡ maybe her moments with little Tsukasa will play a rule in getting her to warm up to him and trust him as well?

I don't know how long things will take with her until she fully trusts him and view him as someone really dear to her... like... will it happen right after this thing is over, or start building up in her more and more with their later interactions in the future... but...

Once Nene-chan decides to be by someone's side... she never leaves them behind and won't ever give up on them. No matter what.

She is that nice. So, naturally, I want to see her this way with Tsukasa, too. Can't wait to see this happening, actually.

So, yessssss.... by all means I consider this as the first step into having Tsukasa and Nene put into the right direction with their relationship! starting with this little "oh, he is not scary... he is caring" "being around him is kind of fun" "maybe I judged him too fast..." "maybe there are sides I still didn't get to see in Tsukasa-kun" "I want to get to know Tsukasa-kun, too". And I'm here for it!!! YAY!!!

I'm sure we'll be seeing them this way for real one day. ☆

#talking about my 2 cuties ♡

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lmelodie · 1 year

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Long Day?

OK YES, I KNOW. I accidentally posted this recently with the latest CS art drop because the queue got all messed up somehow. But it's here for real now! It being random BlackIce fluff drabble. This is very bare bones writing wise, just because the concept itself doesn't have a lot of substance, but it's a concept that hasn't been able to leave my head recently.

With every new chapter of Chance and Choice I get out, the closer we inch to the canonical post breakup meet and I'm getting all my fantasies about them being happy and nice to each other out before the angst drops. Very difficult to follow your own canon when you wanna skip all the growing redemption arc steps and get to the happiness.

Jack frost x OC (for anyone unaware lurking in the tag)

The heavy footsteps sounded off of the porch stairs into the surrounding snow. They made their way in a huff to the front door, and the man attached to them was too tired to care about being sneaky right now.

He reached out and jiggled the doorknob expecting the door to swing open. But when it didn't his scowl only deepened, a fitting match for dark circles under his eyes.

Locked? Since when does he keep this locked? Whatever, I don't have time for this.

Today Killian was not in a mood for semantics, he needed to get straight to the point. He quickly bypassed the lock by deconstructing his form into a mass of shadows and slipped through the gap under the door instead. Briefly thinking about breaking a window, but ultimately that was too much work. Silently reforming on the other side, all the lights were on downstairs which means he’s here.

Good. All of that would've been for nothing if he wasn't.

“JACK! Jack Frost, you better make yourself known!” he yelled into the open first floor, a small demonic reverb added to his voice.

Now for step two, to remember where he keeps the good alcohol. Making his way down the entryway with the same fast and heavy steps he finds the kitchen and makes quick work in starting the search for the booze.

“Kills?!” Jack calls out from somewhere else in the house.

Killian pays no mind to him and doesn't answer back. Instead, he continues opening and closing random cabinets, growing more frustrated with each one that passes without premium alcohol in them. He really should know where all of his stuff is by now, but god dammit he is too tired to remember where off the top of his head.

Eventually after another moment he found the jackpot. A floor cabinet near the fridge held all the top shelf liquor a snob like Jack would own, and that Killian himself was not willing to pay for.

"Killian, I know you're here! What are you doing?!" Jack's voice rang out closer than before now accompanied with fast approaching footsteps.

The redhead however still doesn't care. Kneeling on the floor he spots a half empty bottle of Evergreens whiskey (a very potent fae brand), and promptly pops the top open and starts sipping. NOT downing the whole thing, but just enough to help the process along quicker.

It was then that Jack sped walked his way into the kitchen, and abruptly stopped in his huff. Finding the sight of his partner on the kitchen floor drinking up all his good booze, at three in the afternoon. Definitely not the most unusual thing he’s seen him do, but more annoying than anything else.

"What the hell?!" He throws his arms open in exasperation, "That's the good stuff, Kills! I have those saved for special occasions only.”

Killian shoots Jack a steely glare from over his shoulder as he pulls himself off of the floor. He holds up one finger in Jack's direction, taking another longer sip from the bottle. Jack can only watch out of morbid curiosity, indignance painted on his face.

“You have something I want,” he growls in a low tambor.

His tone sounded more like a threat than anything, with every word enunciated. He has a very dark, determined look in his eyes and Jack knows that this kind of behavior can only mean two things. Either he’s messed up and he’s about to really enjoy this next part. Or he's messed up and he’s about to die. The fear of not knowing what exactly he’s done to warrant whichever choice is palatable.

“Now, I don't know what youve heard. And I will be honest here, I don't know what I did. But w-whatever it is, I'm sure it was blown WAY out of proportion!”

He punctuates the sentence with a nervous chuckle, very put off by Killian still not giving him any context and now coming closer. And with each step he becomes less and less confident that he WONT be receiving a deadly fate. Jack tries to instinctively move back a couple steps, but it was too little too late, he was already far too close for comfort. Killian sets the glass bottle down on the countertop, halfway between setting it down and slamming it.

“Listen! I haven't finished writing my will yet, and I was going to leave everything to you anyway! And-and you need my signature on all that paperwork if you want any of my SHIT—!”

In one fell swoop, Killian stooped close to the ground, got a hold of Jack by the legs and hoisted the man up onto his shoulder. Always heavier than he looks. But now with both arms securing Jack from on high, Kills starts making the trek to their final destination just in the other room.

Jack, completely red in the face, and after the moment of shocked silence, instinctively went combative.

“KILLIAN! YOU KNOW I DON'T DO WELL BEING MANHANDLED! I WILL start ice blasting my way out and I am not afraid of taking you down with me!!”

But as much of a big game as he was talking, Jack wanted to do little else than to just be carried around his own home. Flustered and embarrassed? Yes. Completely opposed? No. But he still thrashed a little bit and endlessly complained the entire way to the living room.

And when faced with the couch in front of him, Killian tried his best to untangle Jack from himself as much as possible before unceremoniously body slamming him onto the cushions. Tossing aside his beanie, before Jack can recompose himself and even think about escaping, Killian quickly crawls over top of him. Blocking out any escape routes.

“I haven't slept for the past week and a half and it's just now catching up to me and I feel like I've been bit by a bus,” Killian explains in the same dark warning tone, “I've been making night terrors all week and I just need one hour where nothing happens.”

And yet again, before Jack could protest any of this, Killian flopped the rest of the way down laying directly on top of Jack. Making himself very comfortable and making it very clear that he was going to be napping with Jack as a pillow. He turned his head to the side, putting his ear onto Jack's chest. The sound of his spiking heart rate through his ribcage was soothing to him.

After the moment of surprise had passed, Jack laid there for a second more. His face still incredibly flushed but overall thrown for a loop that he’s chosen neither the sexy nor deadly options. But confusion aside, Jack gathered his wits and tried to brute strength his partner off of him. Attempting to tip him over off the edge of the couch and onto the floor.

“And as much as I would love that Kills, I really would enjoy doing absolutely nothing with you. But I have snow business to attend to!”

Jack did not get very far in his attempts to shove him off however, before Killian pushed himself and subsequently Jack further into the couch. Squandering his tiny bit of progress.

“I wasn't asking,” Killian mumbles, adjusting himself somehow even closer to his partner.

Curiosity for why about all of this suddenly popped into Jack's head. No sleep for the past week? And night terrors the entire time? Killian usually loves making night terrors, but there are notoriously draining. Forcefully putting someone in a terrible dream state and then keeping them there for an extended amount of time? And doing that for a week and half straight? He must be all kinds of drained, physically and magically.

“Was it really that bad?”

“Maybe..” Killian responds, barely audible.

And Jack knows that Maybe is boogeyman code for Definitely. He deliberates back and forth on this idea for a moment. He really does have a lot shit to do, it's almost November for sky's sake! But ultimately, he cannot say no to him. Especially not since he’s already very trapped and can't do much about it one way or another.

“Ugh fine, you creep,” Jack sighs, putting one hand in Killian’s hair and the other arm over his shoulders, “But you only get thirty minutes.”

“Fifty.”

“Thirty five.”

“Forty five.”

“Deal.” Jack agrees, adjusting himself, “You're just very lucky that I happen to like you sometimes.”

They both smile, out of view from the other as Killian falls asleep. Jack followed suit not too long after that, and both stayed asleep for the full hour.

#musings #nonart #The Santa Clause #the santa clause 3 #jack frost #OC #BlackIce

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bitchyzombieenemy · 1 year

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a question on the support forum that has NEVER been answered truthfully with an answer from a player why.

Hey all, when clicking on Support due to a problem in-game I constantly get referred to a site where I cannot login nor even make a ticket. Website is:

Clicking on sign in is of no use, clicking on make ticket also is of no use. The site just does not work. I expected better from ARC.

answer from another player:

According to the European GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) we have the right to refuse certain trackers and cookies that may violate our privacy, especially if they are not necessary to ensure the proper functioning of a site. So what is the case here. I also cannot use the support and will therefore be disadvantaged, and I will certainly not be alone here, and I asked a lawyer who has knowledge in this area, both in the IT world and in the game world, and this went forward to the European Parliament. So ARC does not have that right to exclude certain players from support by referring to the obligation to use certain cookies and trackers, and certainly not if they are European users, and if they already see which cookies and trackers they are. (HasOffers - Snapchat - TikTok - Ad Partners) should ring all alarm bells. I do agree, and that is also the case within the GDPR, with cookies that are necessary or necessary for the proper functioning of the site, but not for Cross-device tracking and Browser history, because with the latter two they violate my basic rights and are the gross violations of my privacy. So….. If I have a problem I can't tell my story to support and I'm not entitled to help? I don't know what would happen if all the players hidden from help from support thought the same as me and media attention was given. Perhaps ARC should think seriously about this to organize the possibility to contact support differently without collecting unnecessary data. I'm having a problem right now and can't contact support, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it's fair to those who stand up for their rights of privacy.

Zendesk / necessary

Cross-device tracking / not necessary

Browser history / not necessary

Google Tag Manager / not necessary

Google Adwords / not necessary

HasOffers / not necessary

Snapchat / not necessary

TikTok / not necessary

Ad Partners / not necessary

If one asks a GM or other moderator why they should know the history of the players browser and thus find out which site the person has visited, one cannot give any sensible answer because this is a gross violation of one's privacy, even one's fundamental rights as a human being, and it is unconstitutional even in the most democratic countries.

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esleep · 2 years

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tag 9 people you want to know better!

I was tagged by @fairybumpkin , thank you!

I’ll put this under a cut since it’s a bit long ^-^ I’ll throw the tags up at the top though so they show up, I have no idea if tags under a readmore provide notifications and on this website it would not shock me in the least if the answer was no. Lots of my mutuals have been tagged in this already uhhhhh let’s see, I’ll tag @savory-babby @wizardkins @organicmatter @alleyjunk @streetworms2019 @woylies and anybody else who’d like to do this! (absolutely no pressure to anyone I’ve tagged, only do this if you feel like it :D)

Favorite color: This one is tricky for me. I’ve never met a color I didn’t like. My current interior decorating runs the gamut of reds/oranges/mustards accented with deep forest green, and I love all those colors a lot. But I also really love deep dark blue and lavender and pale petal pink...colors are grand. They’re like my children. I love them all equally, but differently. Why must we pit strong women against one another. Peace and love on planet earth.

Currently reading: Artemis by Andy Weir. I decided I needed some more near-future ‘hard’ scifi in my diet since I tend to focus on either millennia-distant futures, or different realities altogether. I’m only a few chapters in but I am finding it interesting so far! I am simultaneously re-reading Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey (reminds me of my youth, I loved the Pern books as a teen), and also trying to finally actually finish Midsummer Nights Dream by good old Billy Shakes. I never actually read MND in school like a lot of my classmates did because I was in a different track of English classes and we never got into that one, though we did read others.

Last song: I’m listening to music as I type this and it’s “Paracosm” by Washed Out. I’ve been on a kick lately of just shuffling all my songs together in one big deranged playlist. It’s a good time if you enjoy genre whiplash. (By the time I finished writing this post, it ended up on “Heartbreak Beat” by The Psychedelic Furs.)

Last series: I’m assuming this means TV series. I think it was HunterxHunter. I’m slowly chipping away at the chimera ant arc. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but it still feels so far away. Help.

Last movie: I’ve been too ADD to watch much in the way of movies lately. I really would like to see Nope but I think it’s going to have to wait until I can find it online or rent it somewhere so I can watch it in annoying 15 minute chunks while I do something else. I genuinely dnWAIT as I was typing this I remembered that Shannon and I had a movie night recently and watched Emperor’s New Groove because we had been talking about how formative it was for both of us. So I guess it’s that one. Not going back to fix the first part though.

Sweet/savory/spicy: Ideally I love all of these things in a little snack rotation. Sweet in one hand, savory in another, spicy in the third extra hand sprouting between my shoulder blades. And two beverages to accompany that - one for health and one for joy. However if you were to break into my home and force me to choose only one of these flavors to eat right now, I would probably have to go with spicy. I would also probably politely ask you to leave.

Currently working on: Not counting work projects, which are boring and stressful, I am currently writing a project which will become either a written novel or a graphic novel, I really am struggling to determine that right now. I have a good portion written as a regular novel but was struck with inspiration on converting it to a graphic novel (because then I get to draw ALIENS) and now I’m hung up in decision-making as I doodle character designs on sticky notes at my desk. It’s called Vessel, it’s scifi leaning towards fantasy, and I have a sideblog for it. If we’re mutuals and you want to follow you’re welcome to, just message me for the URL. I don’t post there terribly often but I do want to start adding more of my already-written stuff over there. I’m also in the middle of a small embroidery project (my first attempt at embroidery, I figured if I do basically every other form of fiber craft I might as well take on this one too) which I need to get back to, and I have a sketched out painting on canvas that I will someday actually finish painting. I’m also nearly finished with knitting a produce sack for my grocery trips, which has been languishing in nearly-finished limbo for about about two years, and I’m also finishing up unpacking/organizing my apartment after I moved at the beginning of this month. I still have so many random items sitting in boxes that I just don’t know what to do with. Right now I am dealing with completely uncontrolled ADHD and that’s making me a little miserable in all things personal and professional but once I get a handle on that one of these days I hope to be able to make more progress in many of these things. At least I finally have a diagnosis that isn’t “you aren’t trying hard enough”, so that’s progress. I feel safe putting all this here since it’s under a readmore and absolutely no one besides perhaps a few sweet mutuals will even make it this far.

Anyway that’s all g’bye!

#did this one on desktop so I could type on a full keyboard for my own sanity LOL #this was a good distraction from a stressful workday so thank you!

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redundare · 1 year

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I posted 1,759 times in 2022

That's 839 more posts than 2021!

12 posts created (1%)

1,747 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@albabutter

@rotconsumer

@borgevino

@zombeesknees

I tagged 1,754 of my posts in 2022

#visual - 153 posts

#our flag means death - 151 posts

#words - 143 posts

#happy tag - 96 posts

#art - 91 posts

#doctors can't change rule number one - 77 posts

#film - 77 posts

#otp: hey. do you wanna do something weird? - 75 posts

#current events - 55 posts

#queer as in fuck you - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#that one rick speech from the season finale about rick and morty forever except it's ren and pink tagging each other in the same posts forev

My Top Posts in 2022:

I’m never going to get better at linking fic, but let’s try.

Title: it’s very far away (but it’s growing day by day) Rating: T Ship: Stede/Ed Tags: Episode: s01e05 The Best Revenge Is Dressing Well, Hair Brushing, Touch-Starved, Intimacy, Pining, picking out clothes is something that can be so personal, Missing Scene Summary: The episode 5 missing scene where Stede gets Ed ready for the party.

15 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

the manic pixie dream girl in OFMD

feyburner on twitter posted this absolutely incredible insight:

and i added my commentary on twitter, but i wanted it on one block here:

OKAY BUT THIS IS SO GOOD BC the broodingly soulful man is too intellectual and/or aware of his own narrative, which causes his angst. the antidote is manic pixie earnestness, but the manic pixie HAS to remain unaware to be the antithesis of postmodern over-awareness.

Elizabethtown, 500 Days of Summer, Garden State, Scott Pilgrim: all feature a hyperawareness of trope and the brooding man frames everything in terms of story, narrative, arc -- just like Ed. they're trapped by their story but don't have the tools to write something different.

in Elizabethtown the woman LITERALLY gives the man a map to navigate out of his current life. at the end his choices are to follow the map home or go a new direction, and he's able to choose new direction bc he's sufficiently rejected rationalism and embraced emotion

in 500 Days, though, the man's still trapped in his head, and therefore trapped in the narrative. he can't give up the power being aware gives him; the very last shot is him looking to the camera and winking. he's still in control, but at what cost?

it's a reductive binary understanding of "male" rationalism vs. "female" emotionalism, ofc, but there IS something to be said for a balance between both, and the trope is really more about the male writers trying to escape what they know to be toxic masculine traits

what happens when you, a man, are fucking tired of being A Man, when inside you feel soft and bruised like a mishandled plum, when none of the exclusively men around you seems interested in anything other than hyper-masculine posturing? how do you escape?

the answer comes thru MPDG's lesson on self: there is no escape. you can't hide or run. you have to make a permanent choice. and the choice CANNOT BE merely choosing to be with MPDG; the choice must be about the man's self and future, one that he can't hide from the other men

Ed latched onto Stede but it doesn't actually help if Ed can't internalize those lessons. Ed wanted to run away to China, but that's not changing, that's hiding. the MPDG doesn't represent escape, they represent transformation.

Blackbeard transformed into Ed through MPDG power, but Ed wasn't ready to be Ed in front of Izzy. As long as Ed remains scared of what other men think, he hasn't fully embraced the emotionalism of the Manic Pixie Dream Stede

That will be his arc in s2: reading off the map Stede left in his heart, finding his way to his real self, and then choosing himself, for himself, not for anyone else

34 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

how to raid (according to Stede Bonnet)

Don’t go in the first place; you were just landed gentry, but you’ve been around the aristocracy enough to know what this is going to be like

But if you have to go...

Maintain your backstory

Be boring in a calculated way to draw attention away from yourself; don’t under any circumstances try to impress these people

Let your crew pull off a flawless scam in the back room; why pillage when you can get them to hand you their money?

If When they hurt one of your own, shift to the offensive

Weaponize the servants: treat them with dignity, promise them revenge, listen to them, and let their information inform the plan

(No one will see it coming, because they never see those they consider below them; you know better than most how they treat weakness)

Trick the aristocracy into tearing themselves apart; why attack when you can get them to hand you your victory?

Make no attempt to put out the fire

Make no attempt to save any of them

When you leave, you’ll only have so much time before the fire spreads. Don’t loot; instead, use that time to ensure all the servants make it off safely

Give all the money you scammed earlier to said servants; make sure to point their boat in the direction of the nearest port

Destabilize the world economy by letting a massive ship full of England’s .01% sink to the bottom of the ocean

Turn to your best friend and smile. You’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time.

37 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

"i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies" from "take me to church" is the izzy hands thesis statement, i will not be explaining further

85 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I’m on my “Stede has it in him to be just as ruthless as Ed, it just manifests differently” bullshit and I am in need a gifset of Ed saying “it was the fire that killed them” juxtaposed with Stede rowing away from the on-fire ship of aristocrats as they throw themselves into the ocean to escape the flames. because I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PARALLEL.

So the first scene, where Jack puts Ed on blast for lighting that ship on fire and leaving the crew for dead, is a stark slap across the face for the viewer: neither Ed nor Stede are reliable narrators. Ed is lying to himself and Stede about who he is.

BUT SO IS STEDE. AND SO IS THE SHOW. So much of this series is from Stede’s POV, which we know is massively flawed. Because while Stede looks mildly horrified at the story, he’s already done the same thing -- three episodes earlier.

While Ed and Stede have a lovely little moment rowing away, in the background there’s a massive ship burning up, with no help coming, and all those people are going to die. It’s a moment of objective POV: here’s what’s really happening. But then the ship blurs, and we enter subjective POV. Importantly, it’s Ed’s POV -- Ed, looking over at Stede with a furrowed brow. Ed knows what’s going on in the background. He’s fucking Blackbeard, and he’s left a ship to burn before. He knows. And when Ed says, “When you cut loose, you really cut loose,” (probably thinking something along the lines of, fucking hell, this guy is pretty chill with all this murder), Stede doesn’t apologize. He says, “Thanks.”

And, very importantly, no one looks back. Not even once.

Stede is a Gentleman, but he’s also a Pirate.

287 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#wish my ofmd hyperfixation had lasted a little longer but what can you do #it'll surely come back next year tho #next year has ofmd AND good omens content; god help us all #about me #tumblr culture

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jerzwriter · 3 years

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Delaying the Inevitable - Chapter 22A - To Make You Feel My Love

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC, Tobias Carrick x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter: Casey looks for the perfect gift for Tobias, and presents Ethan with his… Vivian counsels her son… The Edenbrook Holiday party is underway and Casey encounters an old love, and maybe a new?

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Language (I’m sure at some point… it’s me)

A/N: Hey. Chapter 22 became a monstrosity in size. So I’m breaking it up. This one leaves off… in a way… but don’t hate me. I’m releasing 22 Part 2 tonight after midnight EST. I’m not torturing you that much.

A/N 2: Ethan stans. Tobias stans were patient. See if you can do the same. 😊

A/N 3: I’m leaving these two things as a permanent note: This is a love triangle – that means Casey loves more than one person. I’ve made that clear from the start. Casey won’t make her choice until the final chapter. So no, it’s not a foregone conclusion. I’ve made that clear for a while. And while Team Ethan, and Team Tobias, and Team God I’m Torn exist out there, there is only one that matters to me and that is Team Casey.

A/N 4: I hope those who are not happy with the current arc stick around, but I can’t force you. 😊See you tomorrow, folks.

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs always appreciated. 😊

“Hey, Mom, what’s up?”

“What’s up? What’s up are those gorgeous photos I saw on Pictagram this morning! I’m not up 20 minutes and I have already received calls from two of my friends in DC as well as your Auntie Sherrie inquiring about them. Now, what exactly am I supposed to tell them, Tobias?”

“Oh, I don’t know? My son and his friend put up a beautiful tree in their condo last night, they put on some silly Santa hats and took some pictures. Isn’t that hard?”

“Hmmm… except Casey isn’t exactly a friend now, is she? And don’t think that doesn’t come across in those pictures! Besides, last I checked I thought you lived in your condo. Now you want me to say that it is “their” condo. Not that I have any problem with that.”

“Of course, you don’t,” he laughed.

“How is Casey’s present coming along, dear? Was Hector able to help you with the restoration?”

“Yes! He is a magician! It’s almost done and the photos he sent… man, I put them next to the one Casey’s dad gave me from when she was a child and, you would hardly notice the difference.”

“Oh! I am so happy to hear that! Hector is a genius! If anyone could do it, it is him! It’s so important to have the perfect gift for Casey, son. Not only for you but for me as well.”

“It’s important to you?” he chuckled.

“Don’t play with me son. You know I will not rest until that lovely young woman is my daughter-in-law. She is a treasure. I am already losing patience with you for not sealing this deal. I thought I raised you better.”

“You raised me just fine, Ma,” he laughed, “and trust me, Casey, thinks very highly of you, too.”

“I know. We text all the time. If things don’t work out between the two of you two, I may adopt her and cut you loose.”

“Wow. I’m hurt.”

“Oh, you know I kid. But since I am keeping you around, this begs another question. What does the man who has everything, you, want for Christmas this year?”

“I honestly don’t need anything Ma…”

“Apparently your listening comprehension skills have not improved since childhood. I didn’t ask what you needed, I asked what you wanted. You are impossible to buy for! And it’s not just me asking, your beautiful girlfriend wants to know too!”

“My girlfriend, huh,” he shook his head laughing.

“Why are you laughing, son?”

“Well, because leave it to you to find the one thing that I don’t have after all.”

____________________

“I have no idea what to get him, Si. I mean, the man has everything.”

“He doesn’t have you.”

“Sienna!”

“Sorry, it just seems so obvious.”

“Can you focus on the task at hand?”

“Well, you enjoy cooking together… or rather, you enjoy watching him cook. How about something for the kitchen?”

“No, it’s so… impersonal. Plus, he already has so much. I’m at a loss. Maybe Vivian will be able to get some answers out of him for me.”

“You and Vivian have gotten close?”

“Oh, she is amazing! Witty, sharp, takes no crap, but she’s got this beautiful soul, a heart of gold. I wish she lived closer to here.”

“Hmmm. Sounds to me like the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Well, I don’t think she had the scoundrel phase Tobias went through,” Casey laughed, “she was none too pleased to hear of some of his exploits during those times.”

“You outed him!”

“A girl has to have some fun.”

Casey’s face fell as she took on a more serious tone. “You know, I was unpacking a box I had left in the back of my closet the other day and… I came across a gift I had purchased for Ethan late in the summer, I put it away in hopes of giving it to him for Christmas. With everything,” she waved her hand dismissively, “I had forgotten about it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Case. That must have been difficult.”

She smiled sadly. “It was sad. It made me think about the way I thought the holidays would be this year. I thought I’d be with Ethan, we’d be sharing his apartment,” she looked to Sienna who gave her a knowing look, “I thought we’d be engaged. My life… it seemed so mapped out, so certain… yet, look how it turned out.”

“So, how does that all make you feel? Are you doing OK with it?”

“It just seems surreal. Unsettling. I’ve learned in more than one way that life can turn on a dime and, it makes me scared, Si. I know that nothing in life is certain, not even life itself. Yet, on the other hand, being aware of how fleeting life, love, everything can be… I appreciate the things I have so much more. My health, my career, my family, my amazing friends… I know I’m so blessed, even though… everything doesn’t work out as planned sometimes.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing amazing. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do a few months back I would have never thought you’d be so festive and embracing the holiday spirit, and here you are! That says something about you, Casey!”

“Yeah, it says sometimes a therapist and knowing when to go on Wellbutrin is a good idea,” Casey laughed.

“Well, yeah! That is part of it! Getting the help you need, whatever that help is.”

“Well, you’ve been a big part of that help, Sienna.” She gave her friend a side-hug as they walked on. “I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“Well, you give as good as you get there! And as your friend, it’s my job to get you back on track. What are you going to get for Tobias? I’m assuming a boudoir photoshoot would be out of the question…”

“Sienna!!!!” Casey said hitting her arm, as the two women continued their shopping.

____________________

The morning of the Edenbrook Holiday Party was always a special day. Many departments held informal luncheons, festive music played in the halls, and it seemed that every person entering the building, visitors, and staff alike, brought a tray of cookies to share. If co-workers exchanged gifts, this was the day they did it. Because of the awkwardness within the diagnostic team right now, they decided to skip their annual grab bag. Casey was the one who implemented the tradition, so seeing it go saddened her. But she had learned that life was about adjustment, the only constant was change. She refused to concentrate on the negative when there was so much good surrounding her.

She was the late person on the team’s calendar that day, so she would not be going to the party with her friends. Sienna and Tobias both offered to stay behind so they could accompany her there, but she insisted they head off to the pre-party festivities at Donahue’s, she’d catch up with them back at the hospital later. She smiled because that also meant she would likely have the chance to watch them in an inebriated state while she was still decidedly sober, always good for blackmail material later on!

With all the activity, the day passed by quickly. Casey returned to the team’s office to gather her belongings before she left. She took out a large shopping bag she brought from home. Based on prior years, she knew she’d be heading back with a small haul of trinkets from patients and staff, and she was prepared. But her heart skipped a beat when she opened it up. Ethan’s gift lay at the bottom of the bag, and she was still unsure about what to do with it. She considered leaving it on his desk anonymously, but it seemed cowardly. He would undoubtedly know it was from her and it could send the wrong message in different ways. She picked the box up, mindlessly caressing the shiny gift wrap as she contemplated what to do. Suddenly, a deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Casey?”

“Ethan,” she jumped. “I didn’t’ think you were still here.”

“Well, I am. I’m sorry to startle you. I thought you’d be long gone to get ready for the party tonight.”

“Well, I’m on the late tonight. You know that.”

He shrugged. “I should have told you to go. I’m sorry. You can head out if you like. I’ll take care of anything you need to do. I’m not going to the party so it’s not a big deal to me.”

“Oh, you’re not going?”

He looked at her from under his glasses with a sad smile. “I’m not feeling particularly festive this year.”

Casey looked down at her hands and swallowed, “Well, I… I hope that changes for you in the future.”

She began to put the gift back into her bag but suddenly veered course.

“Ethan,” she said abruptly, “do you have a moment?”

“For you? Always.”

Though said with sincerity, he instantly knew his word choice was poor. Casey’s face, which had shown slight signs of warmth just moments before, turned bitter. For you? Always. He knew he had no right to use those words with her, not after how horribly he had treated her. He considered apologizing but that might only make things worse. To his great relief, the intensity of her gaze quickly reverted to what it had been before.

“This is a little bit awkward,” she said as she sat in front of his desk. “I bought this for you earlier this year. I planned on giving it to you on Christmas, but….”

“Casey, you don’t have to…”

“I wasn’t sure what to do when I found it, but I think you should have it. So, here.”

She abruptly handed the gift to him as she stood to leave. “I hope you like it.”

“Casey, wait. Would you please stay while I open it?”

She let out a small breath and bit the inside of her lips.

“Sure. But just for a couple of minutes. I still have to go home and get ready.”

“I promise not to keep you.”

She slumped back into her chair, immediately questioning her decision. The doors that were shut between the two of them were shut for good reason. She didn’t want to open them, at least not now. She didn’t know if it was the holidays that made her soft, or perhaps the look of sad desperation on Ethan’s face. He didn’t deserve her empathy, not after all that had transpired, but it wasn’t about who Ethan was or what he had done, it was about who she was. And she was not one to walk away from someone in need, even if it were to her own detriment. She immediately made a mental note to share with her therapist later this week. But now, she sat with a pensive look on her face as Ethan gingerly tore at the elegant wrapping.

A look of genuine shock passed over him as his jaw fell slack. For a split second, she saw something she hadn’t seen in his face in a long time, not since before Louise began showing signs of regression, he appeared… joyful.

“Casey!” he gasped, “Casey, is this….”

“It’s the performance of La Traviata you attended at Teatro La Fenice. I know you had always been looking for it, so I….”

“How… how did you find this? I had searched for a copy for years before I finally gave up.”

“Well, you know me. I don’t give up when I want something badly enough.”

Ethan’s eyes fixed on her; she was right. When she wanted something, she fought relentlessly to get it. The only reason they had a past worth remembering was because of her. She was the one who was brave, he was the one who pushed away and ran. He was the one who hurt her, but in the end, he hurt himself most of all. Now, she was moving on, and he was lost in the reality of the destruction caused by his own hand. He was finally aware, yet still afraid to take the next step to bring him to a better future. How the tides had turned, she came to Edenbrook hoping to be like him, and now, he wished more than anything that he had been like her.

“You are right. You don’t. Thank you, Casey… this means so much to me. I think I’ll listen to it tonight and, I’ll always treasure this.”

He stared down at the box, shutting his eyes tight to prevent tears from falling. A sadness gripped his chest and claimed his voice as his mind went to Casey’s ring, locked away in a box in his closet. It was almost as beautiful as she was. When he had imagined this year’s holiday party, he saw the two of them, finally open, out together with the ring on her hand for the whole world to see. She was his, he was hers and they were meant to be. But now, it sat in a box of memories that were never to be realized, it would never see the light of day and there was only one person to blame.

Breathing felt like too great of a task and Casey noticed his distress. Part of her wanted to escape. After all, he had put her through, he had no right to expect her to be supportive. You don’t get to break someone and ask them to comfort you for what you did. Yet, she could not pull herself away. So, she remained in her chair, even as a tempest of emotions began to stir inside her.

He decided to speak through his quivering voice.

“I had bought something for you too. I have it back at home, but… it’s no longer appropriate. But, I feel like I should have something to give you…”

Casey lowered her eyes. She knew exactly what gift he was referring to. The memory of the day she and Sienna accidentally came across the ring flooded her mind.

“Oh my God, Si, is this what I think it is?”

Sienna clasped her mouth and gasped, “I mean, it really can’t be anything else…”

“Oh my God, Si, I didn’t do this! It was on the shelf, and when I pulled the notebook off it hit me on the head, and then it fell to the floor, and I swear to God I was not snooping!”

Sienna just stared with her hands over her nose and mouth.

“Sienna, say something, what should I do. I mean, I had no idea, and now I feel so bad…but, Jesus does he has good taste or what?”

“Good taste?!? Casey, that’s a 3-carat diamond with side stones, that’s not good taste, that’s a fucking masterpiece. OH MY GOD CASEY, he’s going to propose!”

Sure, she thought bitterly, he was going to propose. How does one go from wanting to marry her to putting her out with no place to go, when she had done nothing wrong? When all she did was love him. The excuse of “he’s damaged” was no more than enabling, she could see that now. He had damaged her, more than once, and it had lasting effects, but she knew she had no right to take it out on others. Why did she stay? This was too painful. She needed to leave, but she wanted to do it gracefully.

“Ethan, it’s not necessary. Please, don’t get me anything. But….” She trailed off.

“But?”

“Do you understand that all I ever really wanted was for you to be happy?” she asked, her emotion evident in her voice. “Even if it was to my own detriment. Before we were together, while we were together… even now… after everything. You deserve to be free of ghosts that haunt you. You deserve to put the pain in the past and to truly live. And you could if you weren’t so goddamned stubborn. You may not see it yourself right now, but you’re a good person Ethan; but, by not fixing things, you’re doing things that are very, very wrong. You know the path to make things right for you, you know what to do. If you want to give me a gift, fix yourself, Ethan. One day, allow me to look at you and see something other than pain.”

His lack of response spoke more than any answer ever could and the discomfort in the room became to be more than Casey could bear. She wanted out. She wanted to go back to her new life, where this sort of worry didn’t shroud every day. She was allowed to feel for him, she realized, but that did not mean she needed to be absorbed by it. She fought too hard to be where she was today. It was time to leave.

“Well. I really should be going. I’m already going to be arriving late tonight, and….”

“Yes, of course. Thank you again, Casey. For getting this for me, for not just throwing in the trash after all that has happened…. I will treasure it always.”

“I’m glad you like it,” she smiled sadly. “Goodbye, Ethan.”

She turned and she was gone. Once again, he watched as she walked out a door, needing to get away from him. He sat back in his chair staring in wonderment at her gift; he truly had no idea how she found this…but she was right… that’s who she was. She didn’t give up. He closed his eyes desperately wanting the release that tears would bring, but no matter how he tried, they would not come.

____________________

She stalled and took a final look at her reflection in the glass doors before she entered the hospital lobby. Her long blonde hair was pulled to the side, creating a cascade of loose blonde curls that skimmed down past her shoulders. Her make-up was perfectly applied, her matte lips just a shade lighter than the deep burgundy gown that hugged her every curve. She took a deep breath, suddenly nervous. Was the plunging sweetheart neckline too much for a work event? Jackie and Sienna assured her it was fine and if they said so, well, if Sienna said so, it had to be true, right? She considered paging a friend so she wouldn’t have to walk in alone, and she wasn’t sure why she felt that way. Or perhaps she did, after all, she had turned denial into an art form. A few moments passed and the frigid December temperatures helped push her to finally step inside.

_____

“So, my friend, you think we can set up a little boy’s night out soon?” Bryce asked Tobias seated at the bar. “I’ve barely seen you since you got married.”

Tobias gave him the side-eye.

“You know damn well I’m not coupled, much less married. You also know our schedules have not meshed. You’re always welcome at my place, you never need an invite. In fact, given how much pleasure it gives me taking you down a peg or two, you’d actually be doing me a favor.”

“Well, Casey did suggest the idea of a weekly game night…. That may be just what the doctor ordered. Speaking of doctors, here come my favorite former residents.”

“Yeah, unlike you, meathead,” Jackie grinned.

“Hey, I’m quickly catching up!”

Sienna was spinning around in wonderment. Her mouth was agape as she took in the atrium twinkling lights and dangling icicles everywhere, it was a virtual winter wonderland.

“Hey, Si, you OK, you look like you’re in another world?”

“Yes, it’s just… wow, Edenbrook really outdid themselves this year! I don’t think I could even make it look this good!”

“Well, that’s highly doubtful, Sienna. You would likely have all this plus life-sized gingerbread castles scattered throughout,” Tobias chuckled.

“Delicious gingerbread castles… that she would prohibit us from eating until the event was over,” Raf laughed.

“Of course!” she smirked. “They’d be part of the décor! But it’s hard to imagine this place looking more magical.”

Bryce turned his head toward the entrance just as Casey made her entrance. He could tell that she was attempting to be inconspicuous, but that was an impossibility.

“Holy shit,” he said, slapping Tobias’s shoulder. “I thought it was impossible for the room to be any more beautiful, and, just like that, it is.” He turned to his friend with a shit-eating grin, “Don’t you agree, Tobias?”

Tobias hoped he didn't really expect an answer. How could he possibly speak when his breath was taken away.

“And there is so much mistletoe around here,” Bryce winked. “I think

“Oh, it’s definitely possible to miss it!" Jackie laughed. "I am meandering around it right now to avoid having to kiss you, Lahela.”

Bryce flashed his bright smile and placed a kiss on Jackie’s cheek before she had a chance to protest. “There! Now, all of your dreams have come true. It's a holiday miracle!”

“ICK!” Jackie exclaimed, wiping her cheek. “More like The Nightmare Before Christmas!”

“Hey, T. You can look in another direction, you know,” Bryce teased.

“Tobias, what gives? You have a thing for Casey?” Raf asked.

“Always quick on the uptake, aren’t you,” Jackie said with a roll of her eyes. “Hey, Casey! Over here.”

Tobias averted his gaze. He may have been a lovesick fool, but he wasn't about to let her catch him looking that way.

Bryce shook his head in amusement. Tobias. His good friend T. The man with the worst pick-up lines, but it didn't matter. Delivered with cocky confidence and his seductive smile, they worked every time. Yet when it came to Casey, he was rendered to being a speechless seventh-grade boy with a crush on the prettiest girl in the class. His friend had it bad, and it wasn’t showing any signs of changing.

“Hey, guys!” Casey said hugging each one. “This place looks incredible tonight!”

“It sure does,” Raf replied. “Would you like a drink? We’re all a few steps ahead of you?”

“Sure," Casey grinned. "Come on, I’ll walk you to the bar.”

Bryce, Sienna, and Jackie all turned and glared at Tobias. Jackie & Sienna’s arms folded blatantly in front of their chests.

“What?!?” He asked with annoyance.

“If you don’t do something tonight, I will lose any and all respect for you. Now, granted, I never had much to begin with, but you’re in danger of going into the negatives, my friend," Bryce jeered.

“I mean, maybe not in front of the whole place,” Sienna cautioned, “We are still at a work event, but there are plenty of little alcoves you can veer off into, and we're willing to cover for you.”

“Mmmm,” Bryce quickly swallowed his drink, “or you can always remember something you need to discuss with her back in the office.”

“And we all know what happens in offices during holiday parties,” Jackie said as Bryce gave her a high five.

“I’m surrounded by freaking comedians,” Tobias grumbled before gulping his drink.

“Except, no one is laughing,” Jackie smirked.

“Well, as much fun as this is, I’m going to go talk to the new x-ray tech. He's too cute to be sitting all alone. Watch and learn, T!”

“I’m going to see some of my co-workers in peds too," Sienna announced. "I'll be back in a bit, and there will be dancing!”

“That leaves you and me, T!” Jackie smiled.

“Jackie, you have no idea how much that frightens me.”

“I don't know why you and Lahela are both so scared of me! But I like it. Someone has to keep the two of you in line.”

“Hey, well, I don’t mind helping with that!” Casey smiled as she slid into a barstool next to them.

“Well, this is my lucky night!" Tobias declared. "Flanked by the two most beautiful women here. I don’t know what you did to deserve this.”

“Apparently, not a damn thing because it's short-lived. I see Harper motioning for me and Casey to come over,” Jackie said.

“How do you know that doesn’t include me?” Tobias asked.

“Because she told me she wants to introduce me and Casey to the woman she’s speaking to. She is the director for the American Women’s Medical Association. Unless you’re interested in joining?”

“Nah, I’m good here with my beer,” he laughed.

People were still arriving, and the DJ’s assistant was making her way around, asking attendees if they’d like to make any requests.

“Hey,” she smiled flirtatiously as she eyed Tobias, “anyone special you’d like to make a dedication to tonight?”

“No," he answered cordially. "But thank you.”

“Hmm… so you don't have a special someone here," she grinned. "I’m delighted to hear that. But, if you should change your mind, you know where to find me."

She walked off with a wink, and Tobias shook his head and returned to his beer, his eyes fixed on Casey across the room. She was smiling, her hair flipping back as she laughed. She was just magnificent. There was no way he was getting over her, but there was no way he would ever try to make it more. He tapped his fingers against the bar and jumped out of his seat. He hadn’t realized that Jackie and Casey had moved across the room, not far from the DJ booth where he was heading.

“Hey,” he said tapping the DJ’s assistant on the shoulder.

“Hey!” She grinned.

“I uhm. I changed my mind. I'd like to dedicate a song to someone.”

“Oh,” she said, as her smile faded. “What’ll it be.”

He stood in contemplation as if the fate of the world depended on his choice.

“To Make You Feel My Love, Adele’s version,” he smiled confidently.

“Oh, that’s far too deep for the dedication to be for me. Damn it!" she teased.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he chuckled.

“So, who is the lucky person we should send this out to?”

He hesitated, not able to answer.

"Or I could just say who it's from, and let the lucky girl or guy guess?”

“You know what... just say this is going out to someone special, from someone who's still not able to admit it.”

“Well, don’t let that go on forever,” she advised. “Life’s too short to miss out on a good thing, no matter where it takes you. But I’ll do my part to nudge you in that direction.”

“Thanks.”

When he turned and walked away, he was oblivious to Casey and Jackie, standing just feet away. A look of panic on Casey's face.

“Holy fucking shit, Case!!! You know that's for you!! Where is Sienna? I have to tell her.”

“No, Jackie, you will do no such thing! We… we don’t even know if he meant me.”

Jackie looked at Casey with disgust. “Do I need to call the reality police for you? It's you, dumbass. And totally better go snag him for a dance when that comes on… or I swear, I will kick you…”

“Hi, Naveen! I’ve been looking for you!” Casey beamed as she raised her eyebrow at Jackie. She had her out.

_____

Jackie marched off to find her friends and found Bryce, Sienna, and Raf sitting at a table next to the dance floor.

“Bryce, what are you doing here?” she asks, “Did you crash and burn that quickly?”

“He got back with his ex,” he shrugged. "Easy come, easy go."

“Likely story!" She spat. "Anyway, we have a mission if we choose to accept it, and I’m telling you, you all choose to accept it.”

“Jackie! Slow down, you’re frantic! What’s going on?” Raf asked.

“Tobias just dedicated a song to Casey! Not only song, a freaking disgustingly romantic song!”

Sienna covered her mouth and gasped and Raf’s jaw dropped.

“I guess we should get you up to speed, Raf." Bryce started. "Tobias is madly in love with Casey. And Casey has it bad for him, but they’re too goddamn stupid to do anything about it. So Jackie's just delivered some pretty big news."

“Well... yes and no,” Jackie faltered.

“It can never be easy, can it?” Bryce said, throwing his hands in the air.

“Nope, it can’t. So, he dedicated a song but didn't mention her by name. It's going to go out to “someone special” from “someone who isn’t ready to say yet” or some shit like that.”

Bryce shook his head, displeased.

“When all this is all out, I am so kicking his ass just for coming up with that shit.”

“I’ll help you!” Jackie agreed. “But for now, let’s at least get those morons to dance to the song together.”

“How do we do that?” Raf asked.

“Well, Casey knows.”

“WHAT?!” Sienna gasped. “How does she know.”

“Because we accidentally overheard him talking to the DJ! But of course, our brilliant but dense friend isn’t convinced he didn't mean it for her."

“Who the fuck does she think it is for?!?!” Bryce yelled.

“Shhhhh!,” Sienna chided, "Your drawing attention this way. What song did he pick, Jackie?"

“To Make You Feel My Love.”

Sienna covered her mouth as her eyes began to water.

“Oh my God! I think I'm going to cry!”

“Sienna, so help me God if you do….”

“Oh, stop, Jackie," Raf interrupted. "It is really romantic.”

“Thank you, Raf.”

“CAN WE SKIP TO THE SUBJECT!!!!” Jackie yelled.

Bryce was still shaking his head. “How does she not see it's for her?"

“She realizes,” Sienna replied. "But she's probably afraid."

“None of this matters!" Jackie insisted. "We just have to get them to dance to it and let nature take its course. So, what's our game plan.”

“I can shame Tobias when the time comes,” Bryce offered.

“And I can coax Casey,” Sienna chimed.

“I can watch them to make sure neither tries to leave the room,” Raf added.

“I can do that, too," Jackie nodded. "I'm also happy to threaten them if need be…”

“That may be too direct. OK, set up a group text for the four of us; we are so don't this. Operation Let’s End This Shit Already is underway!” Bryce grinned.

____________________

Upstairs Ethan had yet to leave his office. After Casey left, he sat thinking for a good, long time. Her parting words hit hard. The best gift would be healing himself. For three years he denied her everything: confirmation, legitimacy, truth. He didn’t give her what she so fully deserved, his time, his attention, his undying love. It took her nearly dying for him to even begin to make those strides and, when he finally surrendered, he wanted to give her the world. But looking back, the only thing he should have given her is what she asked for tonight, healing himself. By not doing that, everything they had was built like a house of cards it was only a matter of time before the wind came and knocked it all down.

He couldn’t leave the building because he knew she’d be coming back. The desire just to be near was insatiable. He knew she didn’t want it and he knew if he wanted so much as friendship from her it would be best for him to lay back right now. That bit of interaction today was a step in the right direction, it was more than he deserved. He shouldn’t overstep.

Yet, he walked to the closet and slipped on the suit jacket and fresh tie he kept there, just in case there was an emergent board meeting or unexpected VIP visitor. I just want to be near her. I won’t talk to her. He changed his shoes. I won’t engage at all. Slipped on the fresh jacket. I’ll linger on the sides. I just want to see her. He promised himself, yet even as he did, he knew it was a lie.

He stood in a corridor, watching from a distance. The party was now filled with revelers, so it was next to impossible to spot her. He moved inside and lingered around the perimeter, honestly, not too far from where he would normally be found during an event like this. Well, at least until there was Casey. He found a dark, quiet spot near the staff entrance. It offered him a good vantage point where he could watch unobstructed. But he still never caught sight of her.

This is ridiculous. I need to go home.

Then, there she was. Across the room speaking with Naveen and Dr. Tanaka. She was a vision. Talking to Naveen and Dr. Tanaka, afforded him the easiest possible way for him to walk over and segue into the conversation. But he knew he shouldn’t. He knew she’d probably scurry away. He found his left leg glued to the floor, and the right wanting to run to her. He didn’t know which one would when the tap came to his shoulder.

“Hi,” Harper said handing him a glass of scotch. “I never see you at one of these things without one in your hand. I figured you haven’t made your way to the bar because you’re over here acting like a creepy stalker. So, I thought I’d lend a friend a hand.”

He was caught. “Thank you,” he smiled.

“Now,” she said tugging his arm, “let’s go find a table. Because you need a talking to, and as a friend who loves you, I am not taking no for an answer.”

She commandeered a small cocktail table in a secluded corner.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m attending the hospital’s holiday party, why are you acting like it’s such an anomaly.”

“Because you’re not attending it, you’re lurking. You were quite clear that you weren’t coming this evening. Yet, here you are, standing at the staff entrance hell bend on… on… on…”

Ethan had completely tuned her out. She turned and followed his gaze. Of course, there she was.

“Ethan,” Harper said snapping her fingers in front of his face.

“What?”

“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”

“Of course, I did! You said… you said… you… OK, I never heard a word you said.”

“What are you doing, Ethan? You know damn well this is not healthy.”

“It’s not…” he stopped, snorting, he shook his head.

Harper turned around once again. Tobias had joined Casey & Naveen, and even Harper could see the change in Casey’s demeanor after he arrived. She softened, her eyes were aglow, and her smile was brighter, it was impossible to miss. Harper had seen it before, it was the way Casey used to be when she was around Ethan.

“Ethan, I hate to say this to you, but you have to let go. I can’t tell you to fight for her because, I can’t lie, what you did to her was too cruel. I know she is being very admirable and trying to establish a good working relationship with you, but you honestly have no right to push for more. That is something that only she can decide to do if she ever wants to.”

“You think I don’t know that? Why do you think I’m lurking in corners, or even sitting here with you? I just to get a glimpse of her,” he sighed deeply. “Then, what do I see, her beaming next to Tobias. You’re one hundred percent right, Harper. This isn’t healthy and if I saw anyone else doing this, I’d be the first to tell them.”

“Well,” she said smiling, “there you go. In some places they would say that you just took the first step, Ethan, I’m proud of you.”

“Tobias told me he’s in love with her.”

Harper's eyes widened and she put down her drink.

“Really? I’m shocked he was so candid!”

“You knew?”

“I have eyes.”

“Then your eyes must also tell you that it appears she returns his feelings.”

Harper turned again. Though they stood at least a foot away from one another, there was no denying the aura that surrounded them.

Harper reached across the table and tenderly touched Ethan’s hand.

“Do you still love her?”

“No,” he lied.

She saw right through him but knew better than to challenge him right now.

“Then move on. She appears to be doing that. You told me that’s what you wanted. And, for what it’s worth, try to take solace that it is with Tobias. You know he’s a good man; he’d treat her well, I don’t think he’d hurt her, and I know you don’t want to see her hurt anymore.”

“I’m sure some people would have said the same things about me,” he smirked.

“Valid point.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, I told you, I will always be honest. I know we’ve all told you that you should talk to a therapist, I’m not going to foolishly waste my breath on it anymore, but you know it’s true. I just hope you come around to see it.”

He looked down into his drink, not saying a word.

“Why don’t you go home, Ethan. If you want, I’ll even get out of here with you, grab a cup of coffee, if it will help.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I should get going, alone. This wasn’t a good idea.”

She smiled warmly, “I’m always a phone call away.”

Ethan stood up and began to make his way across the crowded room. His plan was to head directly to the exit, until he saw Casey standing at the bar waiting for a drink, alone. His head told his feet not to change their trajectory, to head to the door as planned; but his foolish heart was in control.

She would have been here on my arm tonight. There is no question of that. She would have my ring on her hand. She was my Casey. What the hell did I do!

He was no more than three feet away from her when she turned with a drink in hand and a bright smile on her face. That smile fell the moment she saw him approaching her. He knew he should walk away. He didn’t.

“Ethan? Oh. I thought you said you weren’t coming tonight?”

“I had a change of heart.”

“That’s good,” she said taking a gulp of her drink. “I, uhm… you should get out, you know… it’s good for you.”

“Well,” he chuckled ruefully, “the jury is out on that. But I’m giving it a shot.”

She smiled politely, as her eyes darted around the room. Someone had to be around, there was someone she could say she had to talk to.

“Casey, you look absolutely beautiful tonight. Honestly, you’re just radiant.”

He could see the discomfort on her face grow into vexation.

“Ethan… you… I…” she stopped herself after stumbling on her words. She started again, she didn’t want to be harsh, but she needed to be clear. “Thank you, but I really don’t think that is appropriate for you to tell me that right now. You have to understand….”

“I know. I’m sorry. I am out of line. But there was no way I could leave here tonight without telling you and, now that I have, I’ll take my leave. Please, go. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.”

She eyed him uncomfortably, then walked off without a word. He stood and watched as she walked away, and he realized, that was now his role to play. He felt a hand tug on his jacket.

“Hey, you look like you could use a friend,” Floria smiled gently up at him.

“What I could use is a stiff drink… or ten.”

“Well, there is a bar right there,” she pointed.

“Yeah, well, I think if I stay here, that ten could easily become twenty, so I’m going to check out.”

“We could walk over to Donahue’s. I’m sure it will be empty with everyone here and, honestly, I think you may be better drinking with a friend tonight. What do you say?”

“With a friend?”

“Yes, with a friend. So, would you like some company?”

“Sure. Why not,” he smiled, and they walked together toward the door just as Casey shot a look back over her shoulder.

“HEY!”

“Ahhh,” Casey jumped. “Jackie! What the hell are you doing, trying to give me a heart attack.”

“Well, if you’re going to have one, this is the place to do it. But you’re looking too damn fine for that, so come on, why don’t you get out on the dance floor with me girl, I haven’t seen you all night.”

“You know what,” she said placing her empty drink on a table, that sounds delightful! Let’s go!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

Sienna and Bryce watched them from the bar.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Sienna grinned.

“Hell yeah! RAF! Get your ass over here, it’s time for this crew to get the party started.”

Tobias returned from the men’s room and saw the five of them cutting up the dance floor. He smiled seeing them all so happy, but, of course, his eyes stayed on Casey. She was beaming, she threw her head back laughing, the exact same way she did the very first time that he realized that he loved her. She was living with him, he worked with her and, still, on some days, it was hard to believe she was real. He decided to head to the bar, where he sat and watched them, careful not to make eye contact. Yeah, he was part of the crew, but they were all the OG’s, and he felt they deserved some time alone. Eventually, Bryce took a seat next to him, while Raf and the women continued laughing on the floor.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the DJ’s voice came blaring through the speakers, “we have our final dedication of the night and, oooh, it’s a heartfelt one for sure!”

Casey looked like a dear in the headlights as she locked eyes with Jackie.

“It appears someone has a secret admirer… this is being sent out to someone very special, from a guy who is just not ready to tell you yet… oh, come on man! It’s the holidays! This place is full of mistletoe! Take it from me, never give up a day you can be missing out on love. And I am not just saying that because I’m available for weddings by the way!”

The crowd rumbled with soft laughter as Jackie took Casey’s hand.

“Please, Casey. Go dance with him.”

She looked over to Tobias at the bar, he and Bryce had their backs to her.

Bryce tilted his head, “You can’t tell me that wasn’t you.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“Go ask her to dance. You went this far, take that step.”

Tobias turned around and saw her as Jackie pleaded with her on the dance floor.

“Nah, man. I don’t think…”

“Wow, and this guy picked a beauty,” the DJ finished, “someone has some real feelings going on, to that special person, here is Adele’s ‘To Make You Feel My Love’.”

The first chords of the began to play and the remaining couples began to flock to the floor, all except the one the song was intended for.

“When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love”

“Casey, please,” Jackie begged, still holding her hand, “please, you know it’s for you! I know what you feel for him! Go ask him.”

“When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one there to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love”

Bryce shook Tobias’s shoulder.

“Bro, you’ve been in love with her forever. This is not going to go away. Don’t miss this moment, T… go!”

“I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong”

“OK, if you don’t ask him, then I am. And do you really want to watch me dancing with your man…”

“He’s not my man…”

“He could be!”

“I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong”

“If you don’t ask her, I am….”

“Bryce, I just….”

“Tobias,” Jackie interrupted, as she shot Bryce a look, “would you dance with me?”

”I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue I'd go crawling down the avenue”

Bryce saw Casey pushing her way through the crowd.

“Excuse me,” he said running off in her direction.

Jackie turned to Tobias, “You know I won’t take no for an answer. Better to just give in.”

“Fine, he sighed,”

“No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love”

“You’re dancing with me!” Bryce said grabbing Casey’s hand at the edge of the dance floor.

“What, I…”

“I said you’re dancing with me, come on!”

Jackie’s eyes met Bryce’s and implored him to move closer. He spun Casey around to face him just feet away.

“The storms are raging on the rolling sea And on the highway of regret”

Jackie and Bryce maneuvered so Casey and Tobias would be forced to see each other. After a couple failed attempts, their eyes locked. Bryce felt Casey’s breath hitch. Jackie noticed the split second when Tobias stopped moving. Case smiled, softly, nervously in his direction and Tobias’s eyes said all he could not bring himself to say.

“Though winds of change are throwing wild and free You ain't seen nothing like me yet”

“Go cut in. Please, Tobias,” Jackie whispered.

“Casey, you’re too smart not to see it. Go to him.”

“Jackie, I…”

“Bryce, I…”

“I could make you happy, make your dreams come true Nothing that I wouldn't do Go to the ends of the Earth for you To make you feel my love To make you feel my love”

“… I can’t.”

Tobias lowered his head and quickly made his way off the floor. Jackie’s shoulders dropped in defeat.

Casey turned to walk away, but Bryce grabbed her arm.

“No. You’re coming with me,” he said leading her to a side door.

“Bryce, what are you doing!” Casey demanded as the cold December air assaulted them.

“Casey, what are you doing? I can’t keep quiet anymore. I’ve been watching him for seven months now….”

“Seven months? What… what are you talking about?”

“Tobias! Casey, you’re brilliant! You’re a freaking diagnostician, you have to see it. He is crazy about you, don’t you see?”

“I… I…”

“Do you feel the same way about him? Because it’s time. It’s time to make it clear that you do, or it’s time to make it clear that you don’t. You can’t leave him on pause like this forever Casey.”

“What... what… Bryce, you said seven months. What are you talking about? Seven months ago I was with Ethan, and Tobias, he was all hung up on some woman that didn’t… that she….she didn’t….”

She covered her mouth and gasped.

“Yes, he was madly in love with someone.”

“Bryce? Bryce, no! She…she… wasn’t me? Was she?”

He let out a deep sigh, taking her hand in his.

“Casey, I feel like I’m betraying him right now. But you’re both my friends, and this has gone on too long. You share a home; I don’t want to see this implode… so… yes. Yes, Casey. It’s you. He is so in love with you, I have never seen anything like it.”

She stood in stunned silence as tears began to fill her eyes.

“Casey. Say something.”

“Why, why didn’t he ever tell me?”

“Well, for one thing, you were happily involved with someone else. Someone he’s friends with. He would have never interfered….”

“But we were so close, and we’d go places and… we talked about her….”

“He never wanted to lose your friendship, Casey. Even after you and Ethan were apart. He never wanted to take advantage, and he’s petrified of losing you. He didn’t want to fall for you, but he did. We can’t help these things. But he has the right to be happy to Casey and pining after you forever isn’t going to let him achieve that. The two of you, you need to get some resolution here. Do you have feelings for him?”

“Yes,” she whispered, “I do.”

“Then tell him!” Bryce said frustrated, “I know you keep thinking it’s impossible that he feels that way about you, well, that barrier is gone. I’m telling you what he feels for you. So, for heaven’s sake Casey, what’s so hard! Why can’t you tell him?”

“Because I love him, Bryce!” She cried, “I love him. If I had to count on one hand the people in this world who mean the absolute most to me, he’d be on it. I never want to hurt him, and I never want to be hurt by him,” she began to sob. “Bryce, he means too much to me.”

Casey was shivering as she attempted to wipe away her tears. Bryce pulled her into a hug, rubbing her arms to warm them.

“Casey, come here. Come here. Come on, no tears.”

He took his jacket off and placed it around her shoulders.

“Casey,” he said as she stared at her feet.

He lifted her chin. “Casey, look at me.”

“Casey, no day is promised to any of us. And, in the end, the only thing we will regret is the chances we didn’t take. Sure, there are no guarantees, it could not work out. We didn’t work out but look at us here now. Have some faith that if it doesn’t work, you’d still be OK. But… Casey…. you’re so busy focusing on what will happen if it doesn’t work… but just imagine, what happens if it does?”

Casey looked at Bryce and nodded, emotion overwhelming her.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to go ask him to dance,” she said handing him back his jacket. “I’m going to ask him to dance.”

“Atta girl! Now go quick, the party is almost over!”

“I am,” she said jogging off in her high heels.

Bryce sighed as he leaned back against the brick wall.

“If these two make it and I am not the best man, I’ll freaking kill them both,” he laughed out loud.

Casey entered the atrium and scanned the crowd for Tobias. People were leaving, but it was still very full. She didn’t see him, and her frustration was mounting. The DJ would be leaving soon, and she knew herself well enough to know that if she didn’t take this chance now, she would lose her nerve. She had to find him. After several more minutes passed, she saw him. He was by himself, leaning back on two legs of a chair in a back corner. He looked defeated. She nervously brushed off the front of her gown before approaching him. He leaned upright and smiled timidly as she neared.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. Where have you been?”

“I just stepped outside for some fresh air. Then I decided I needed some quiet, so I crashed here. No biggie.”

“I saw you dancing with Jackie before.”

“Yeah. I saw you dancing with Bryce,” he grinned. “I mean, she asked me, and she’s pretty persistent. You don’t… you don’t mind, do you?”

“Oh, God, no! Of course not, it’s just….”

“Just?”

“I had kind of hoped that I’d get a chance to dance with you tonight as well. Do I need to be equally as persistent?”

“No, not you, Casey. All you have to do is ask, and I believe you just did.”

“I did,” she said, biting her bottom lip.

He rose to his feet and extended his hand, “Then, may I have this dance?”

“Yes, you can.”

She took his hand and followed him to the now much smaller crowd on the dance floor, a slow ballad was winding down. They turned to each other with almost petrified grins on their faces. She threw her arms around his neck and momentarily stared down at his chest. His hands found their way to her lower back, oh, how he wanted to brush that soft velvet, but there was no way that was happening. Casey looked back up and smiled at him as they began to softly sway to the music. No words were spoken and then, the song reached its end.

“And that’s it for this evening Edenbrook family. I hope you all had a wonderful night! Now, there are taxis outside for those who need them, and you be safe getting home. Happy Holidays!”

“Are you freaking kidding me!” Casey exclaimed jumping back from Tobias. “UGH. That’s what I get,” she said shaking her head.

“Hey, Case, it’s ok, we can,” he stopped as a loud noise came from his pocket. “Ah, shit!” He pulled out his phone, “Jesus!”

“What is it?”

“Mr. Cortez he’s out of surgery but there were complications. They want me to come up right away.”

“No! Not now!! Do you want me to come?”

His face grimaced in frustration as he shook his head.

“No. No, hon, this one could be an all-nighter. Why don’t you get a car home?”

Casey lowered her eyes almost crying.

“I guess. Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting up for you, if…”

He brushed her cheek. “Just go home and get some sleep, Casey. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, T,” she smiled as she let out a soft breath.

“Good night, Casey. I really better go.”

“I know, I know… go ahead.”

Casey watched Tobias as he jogged down the hall. What, she wondered, do we do now?

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mermaidxatxheart · 3 years

Text

Better Together Chapter 3

Here's chapter three. I'll keep this short. Let me know what you think. If you like this chapter and want to be added to my tag list, please let me know. Reblogs are most welcome, it lets others view my work. Comments are even better, it lets me know I'm doing a good job-we all need validation once in a while.

Word Count: 3155

Warnings: Violence, language, Poe being cute.

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

The cliffs are further than you originally thought. Your legs are cramping, throbbing. Poe lets you rest as long as he can but it’s still crucial to reach the elusive cliffs before dark.

He helps you over massive logs, crooked roots, down sharp hills. His hands are firm on your waist as he lifts you over fallen branches, they’re steady in yours as he helps you clamber over the gnarled roots.

He never once complains, never once tells you to get over it, never once makes you feel weak or useless. Every once in a while, he’ll glance over his shoulder at you, his pretty eyes lingering on your face for a second before smiling. You can feel his eyes on you as you stoop to gather the vegetation samples. He’s never intrusive, only giving his help when you request it.

“I’ve thought of another reason the bugs are so big.” You huff, hauling yourself over another massive branch.

“Tell me.” He wipes his forehead.

“The trees are so big, they’re pumping so much O2 into the air that the bugs can get big enough to take as much as they need in.”

“Come again?”

“Bugs have big tubes that intake oxygen through their skin to their organs, bypassing the need for lungs. In the places we’ve populated, the oxygen level is way down compared to this place. They’d die before the air ever gets to their organs.”

“How do you fit so much in that brain of yours?” He chuckles and you roll your eyes, clinging to his shoulders as he lifts you over another root.

Finally-finally, the base of the cliffs come into view and you let out a sigh of relief. The light is already getting dimmer, so you’re just barely in time. Then you take a second to look up at the sheer wall of rocks in front of you. It shoots straight up, higher than you can even see at this range. The edge disappears into the clouds and you know there’s no way you can climb to the top. You’ll have to find a way around.

But maybe, if there’s a natural cave system, the mechs can make a decent base inside.

You follow Poe along the wall, resisting the urge to drop your arms. Now that the end of your day is in sight, your shoulders feel tighter than ever after holding your holopad in front of you all day.

Up ahead. You can see the shadow darker than the rest surrounding it. Poe seems to already have spotted it, turning towards it. His head swivels around to glance at the forest behind you.

“How’s that gut, kid?” He tosses over his shoulder at you and you want to make a snide remark about being the same age. But you don’t.

“Hard to tell. Relieved at finding the cave. But.” You leave it hanging.

“But.” He agrees, turning towards the entrance of the cave. He digs into his bag, pulling out a torch. You take it from him, falling into step next to him.

“Poe,” you start, shining the light towards the back of the cave.

“We’ll just go back about two hundred feet, just to make sure it’s empty. Then we’ll camp at the entrance.” He promises, looking over at you. You nod and follow him back. The sharp pebbles littering the cave floor jab into the bottom of your feet, but complaining about it won’t do much good now.

Two hundred feet back and it’s clear, no bones, no signs of a nest. Good to camp in. Poe shoulders his long gun and turns towards you, taking your hand and leading you back to the mouth of the cave.

“I’ll go get some firewood, start setting up camp.” He says, squeezing your hand once before leaving the cave once more.

You glance nervously towards the darkness behind you, before starting to pull materials out of your bag. You manage to scrape out an even space for two sleeping bags and a campfire in the middle. You get the meal rations out just as he starts to come back with his muscular arms full of wood.

“Looks good.” He comments, dumping the hardwood off to the side. While he sets up the fire, your eyes are searching the trees across from the cave, the splintered shards of rock creating a beach almost, a boundary from the thick grass.

You can still hear the creaking and groaning from the trees. At some points, with the right echo, it’s almost as if they’re alive. The trees sound as though they’re moving, waking up as the last of the light disappears. The constant groans during the day were just them shifting in their sleep, now they’re ready to move.

Did they sense the presence of two tiny beings crawling around them? Are they coming for you now? Or are you too minuscule in comparison and therefore not worth the hassle?

“What’s going on in that big brain of yours?” Poe asks, looking up from the crackling fire.

“What if the trees are alive?” You ask worriedly and he laughs, pushing himself to come over and stand behind you.

“Okay, you’re way too tense. The trees aren’t alive. The wind is picking up out there, I think the temperature is about to drop. It’s natural for wood to expand and contract as it shifts. And if they are alive? Well, they’re too fucking tall to get us in here. I didn’t cut any trees to get this wood, just picked up what was scattered around.” He promises, those big, warm hands settling on your shoulders. You tense at the sudden touch, but it’s Poe-he's not going to hurt you. He would never hurt you.

“I might be a little uptight.” You admit sheepishly.

“It’s all the lack of orgasming.” He teases.

You open your mouth to fire back, but then his thumbs press deliciously into the flesh of your back and shoulders, and you’re cut off with a strangled moan. He squeezes, and then drags his thumbs up towards your hairline, your head dropping forward onto your chest and electric arcs race along your spine. He alternates his thumbs, pushing in and stroking upward on either side of your spinal column. Heat spirals through you as he slowly, methodically works all the tight muscles out of your back and shoulders. All the stress from worrying, all the aches from carrying the heavy pack and your holopad all day.

“Poe-“ you groan and he chuckles, guiding you forward to lay face down on your sleeping bag.

“Relax. We’ll eat in a minute.” He says softly, his breath ghosting across the back of your neck. His hands are strong, manipulating your flesh to get all the knots out along your back. He uses his knuckles to work out the taut muscles between your shoulder blades, easing the tension out of the bands of overworked, under appreciated tissue. He drags his fingertips up into your scalp and the stretch of it is heavenly. He squeezes the tightly wound muscles at the base of your neck and it sends tingles all the way down your spine as your breath comes out in a woosh.

Your eyes drift closed, drowning in the feel of it. He slowly works his way down the outside on your arms, getting all the sore muscles and you have to roll your face into your blanket to stifle the noise. To his immense credit, he doesn’t say anything to make you feel bad or embarrassed. He just keeps working until you’re a boneless mess in front of him. His hands grip your open ones down by your hips as he pauses.

“I’d offer to massage your legs, but even I know that’s too far.” He says teasingly and it’s probably a good call. But then he mumbles something under his breath, a little too quiet for you to hear properly, but it almost sounds like “I know my own limits.”

You start to push yourself up, but he stops you. “I never said I was done. Your feet must be killing you if mine are any indication.”

“You’re not wrong.” You mumble, laying back down. You shift and roll over onto your back, feeling your spine release the last bit of tension and it cracks as you exhale fully.

He eases your boots off and you flex your toes, trying to prepare for the inevitable tickling as soon as he touches you. He grips your ankle, all firm touches as he sits and pulls your foot onto his knee.

He glances at your face, which holds some kind of look of distress. “Don’t worry, I remember. I’m not looking to get kicked in the mouth again.” He grins, easing your apprehension once more.

“Why are you so good at this?” You sigh, resting your head back.

“At massages? I’ve had lots of practice.” He says casually.

You snort, having no doubt. “I meant all of it, dummy. Being isolated like this, you’re not afraid, you’re not losing your mi-iiind.” You gasp as he digs his first knuckle into the heel of your foot.

“You’re not losing your mind.” He laughs, dragging it up through your arch, adding more pressure so it won’t tickle. “And I’m okay with it because of you.” He adds. “You said that the bugs are big because they don’t have to be fast for survival. So, honestly, we’re probably the most dangerous things here.”

“So, why am I all jittery?” You ask, toes flexing as he presses his thumbs into your arch. Maker, it feels good.

“I don’t know. Maybe you don’t trust me to have your back?” He says, and you know it’s a joke. He would never believe that, so you roll your eyes.

“You are such a jerk. I take it back. You’re the absolute worst.” You huff and he grins.

“You tell me, Y/N. What’s making you so on edge? Why are you so nervous? Don’t sugar coat or rationalize.” He prompts.

You think for a long minute. “The trees creaking? It’s always behind us. Never once has it come from in front of you. It’s always behind me. Sometimes, I felt like something was coming up behind us, not a butterfly or anything. But I’d turn around and there was nothing there, nothing I could see, anyway. And when we would stop for water, or because of my weak ass legs, I would feel eyes on me. Something was watching us, it felt wrong and dangerous. Predatory. Even though we might be the only sentient beings on this planet, I don’t think we’re the most dangerous. It doesn’t feel that way.” You shake your head.

He’s quiet for a long time, working out the arches of your foot. “Alright. We’ll stick together. No going off on your own to take a leak, or get some pretty flowers. If you go, I go. Understand? If you’re that freaked out, or sensing something that strongly, we stay together.” He says, meeting your eyes.

“Deal.” You agree. He finishes with your feet and you push yourself up, gesturing for him to lay down.

“What?” He asks.

“Your turn. Fair is fair, and you know I’m good at it.” You remind him and he chuckles, laying down for you. You straddle the back of his thighs as he lays face down on your sleeping bag and you start with the thickly corded muscles in his back. You work slowly, being just as methodical as he was. By the time you get to the base of his scalp with his thick, luscious dark hair, his breathing has evened out and it’s shallow. If he’s not already asleep, he will be soon. You work out the tension in his hands, spreading the tight muscles with the pads of your thumbs. He makes a soft noise and you smile down at him, brushing his soft hair out of his eyes.

You shift down to his feet, easing his shoes off, working the heels and arches until his soft snores reach you. You chuckle to yourself and lean over him, pressing a kiss to his big shoulder as you take his rifle and go to sit by the door of the cave for the first watch.

He sleeps for a while, the massage clearly helps. You eat your food while you watch the night bugs float by. They’re huge, but thankfully don’t seem interested in you. About halfway through the night, Poe jerks awake with a start, looking around.

“Over here.” You call, pushing yourself up.

“I can’t believe you let me sleep.” He mumbles, wiping his eyes before pulling you into a hug. You rest your head on his chest for a moment, listening to his heart, strong and steady, as he’s always been.

“Well, it would hardly be fair for me to lull you to sleep and then wake you up to take the first watch.” You grin. “Besides, you needed sleep.”

He pulls back and cups your face gently. “You okay?” He asks. That’s what you love about Poe, he’s never been shy. If he wants to touch you, he will. Holding hands, hugs, pushing your arm, guiding you through a crowd. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t particularly care for your boyfriend, or maybe that’s just who he is as a person. But you like the honesty of it. He’s never changed a part of himself to suit anyone else.

“Yeah. I didn’t shoot any bugs by accident.” You shrug and he grins.

“That’s my girl, keeping it together one thread at a time.” He teases and you laugh, dropping your head forward.

“Go get something to eat. I’m gonna go use the little girl’s tree and then get some sleep myself.” You yawn, handing him the gun back.

“Did you forget what I said already?” He rolls his eyes. “If you go, I go.” He nudges you towards the entrance. “Go pee. And then I can get food.”

“It's right there.” You complain.

“What if I’m over there, stuffing my face, and you’re over here with your pants down, and some bat the size of a bantha carries you off into the night? How am I supposed to make it back to the ship?”

“So, you’re admitting you’re useless without me?” You tease and he searches your eyes for a minute before straightening and walking past you, shoulders brushing softly.

“Yes.” He adds and you pump your fists in triumph, turning to follow him. He leads you to the nearest tree, and waits on the side facing the cave while you walk into the dark shadows. Admittedly, you’re much less brave now. It’s so dark, neither of the planet’s two moons are visible behind the cloud cover. The only light is from Poe’s flashlight.

You quickly unbuckle your pants and lean back against the tree, nerves rattled. Your bladder freezes, refusing to relax.

“What’s the hold up?” He asks.

“You’re listening.” You mutter, trying to coax it out by repeatedly tensing and relaxing your muscles.

“Seriously? Now you have stage fright? It’s not like I haven’t heard you go before.” He reminds you and you cover your face with a groan. Shit, he’s right. Just fucking do it.

“Can you just… like… five steps, that’s all I’m asking.” You please and he grumbles but stomps loud enough for you to hear him walk away. It takes another second, but finally, you go. Peeing against a tree is hard work when you have a vagina.

You take care of your business and buckle up, walking back around the tree to find Poe exactly where you left him, having not walked away at all. “Dirty, rotten trickster.” You mutter and he slings his arm around your shoulders.

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“I’m not answering you. Good night.” You huff and turn to leave him at the entrance, before you pause and turn back. You quickly kiss his cheek and mumble a quick “eat something,” before walking away completely. The kiss was unprompted, and probably not very professional, but he very easily could have made you feel crazy earlier and didn’t.

You settle down on your sleeping bag in front of the fire, a chill sweeping through you. It’s not cold outside, but it could just be from being still for so long.

After a minute, you can hear him rustling through his bag and then the fire gets warmer in front of you. You smile and drift into unconsciousness.

In your dream, Poe is talking to you. You can’t quite hear what he’s saying, his words are muffled, and every once in a while, the crackling from the fire drowns him out. But his words are soft and gentle. His eyes are looking at your sleeping form, warm and melted chocolate in the light of the flames.

You move, ghost like, towards the opening, drawn to something outside. But the outside isn’t the same. There aren’t any trees as tall as the buildings on Coruscant. There’s white walls, smooth black floors; cold-sterile. A door hisses open to your right and you’re sucked through like a vacuum. This room is all black, red lights dot the walls sporadically and there are two uncomfortable looking contraptions in the middle, tables with metal straps, but upright and facing each other.

The floor drops out from under you and there are two men fighting with lightsabers, one a wicked looking double edged red blade, the other an elegant, cool blue. The one with the red saber, his face is horrifying, red and black streaks down his face and dangerous horns protruding from his bald head. The other man is young, short reddish hair, cream colored robes. They’re fighting for their lives around a massive return tunnel in the center of the floor.

A big gust of wind blows you down the tunnel and you cry out, rolling to a stop in the middle of the trees. You don’t know where you are, all the giant landscape looks the same. Your heart is pounding wildly as you turn around. Something is definitely alive, definitely evil.

As you turn, you spot your best friend, your partner, your commander. He’s fighting someone. You can’t see who, they’re just a dark shape-an outline. “Poe!” You cry out, trying to move through the dense foliage to get to him, to help him!

The shadowy figure pulls a knife out of thin air and plunges it into Poe’s chest, dead center. His warm brown eyes flick over to you as you scream, the earth trembling with your anger. The shadowy figure pulls the knife slowly from his chest and then stabs it up through his jaw, into his soft palate, piercing his brain. You scream, feeling your entire being shake apart at the molecular level, dispersing into the wind as Poe slumps to the ground, unmoving.

Chapter Four

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captainrexisboo · 3 years

Text

Shameless Flirt

Hey hoes! I’m (partially) back!!!

I had a sudden burst of writing inspo. I am very excited to finally give y’all my long awaited Hevy X Reader fic!! I loved writing this, Hevy was so fun to get into the head of. I was going to post this yesterday but then (of course, right as I wanted to start posting again lmao) Life Happened aHA-

Anyways! The Reader Is A Lady (although, it’s not really specified aside from she/her pronouns. still tagging it as female reader though)! No warnings apply, just a lot of flirty banter and a bit of smoochin! Reblogs, replies, and comments are highly encouraged. I love hearing from y’all! Enjoy!!!

Technically, it was your day off. However, being the workaholic you were, and bored just sitting in your quarters, you decided the best course of action was to pick up some things you had left at one of your workstations in the ARC training sector...like the stopping point of your last project. You waved and smiled past the guards and troopers patrolling the halls, the vode knew you so it’s not like they were surprised when you strolled through the stark fluorescent halls in your lounging civvies you brought from Corrie. It’s not like you didn’t do this every other off day. It’s not like they haven’t tried to stop you- but not even ARC Commander Blitz could give you orders to go relax as you hunch over another blaster, detonator, or even some type of launcher, without you grinning like a cheeky loth-cat, “I am relaxing, Commander.”

After the first few months of working alongside Blitz, he came to understand that nothing was going to come between you and your work. At least nothing short of the consequence of you kicking and screaming all the way back to your quarters. So he let you be. “Don’t mind her, boys, that’s just our weapons tech. She’s always at the armory, or here in the target range. Think of her as a part of the training- don’t you dare get distracted.” Every new batch of ARC-trainees got told the same thing, and everytime you’d smirk into your work with a casual but polite wave over your shoulder, not even bothering to look back-

“And what about after training, Commander, will she still be ‘distracting’ up here?”

-until today. His shameless intention laced his words, and you could feel his eyes run up and down the curve of your spine, following the shape of your legs. You stood straight from your bent position over the standing turret, turning around with an unimpressed brow as you cocked out a hip, “I sure will, but you’ve got curfew to make, trooper.”

It was easy to single out the flirt, even if they were all wearing helmets. There were five trainees this time, four of them had their shoulders shaking as they choked back giggles with varying snorts and fake coughs at their brother’s expense. The one second from the end to your right seemed taken aback by your retort, spine stiff, and visor still looking at you dead on. You slid your eyes over to where Blitz was sighing and shaking his head, taking as step forward as he ordered, “Fives, thump your brother’s helmet for me.”

“Aye, sir,” Fives managed to breathe out the two syllables without breaking, but needing to clear his throat before swatting the upside of the flirt’s head, effectively taking his gaze off of you and immediately to the floor. Blitz made his way across the room to stand in front of the trooper, and even though they were the same height, Blitz carried himself in a way that made him seem to loom over the younger soldier.

“CT-782, you said your name was Hevy, right?”

“Yes sir,” Hevy confirmed, voice coming out low, in a natural huskiness some clones seemed to have, as he stood even straighter, trying to mimic the Commander’s practiced stance. Blitz nodded a couple times, humming sagely- you recognized this though. He wasn’t thinking at all, he was just adding tension, the dramatic bastard. You couldn’t help but scoff silently at his demeanor as he took an inhale before continuing.

“I’ve read up about you and your brothers, soldier. The outpost at Rishi, getting recruited into the 501st, your entire batch surviving every fray, hells I just saw all five of you in action during the Separatist invasion just a couple days ago,” Blitz took a moment to exhale, something that could have been mistaken for a sound of intrigue, “You no doubt deserve to be here. An entire batch making it to ARC training? This hasn’t been done since the last batch made specifically to be ARCs themselves. But son-” in the pause, now you could never be sure, but you were positive in that moment you heard the grating clicking of Hevy grinding his teeth at the term, “-I don’t recommend playing with fire. Lucky as you all have been, even in ARC armor, you’ll get burned.”

Hevy stole a glance back at you, to which you gave him a mock salute with your screwdriver and a delightfully crooked smirk before turning back to your work.

Instead of taking his Commander’s words to heart as a warning, he took them as a challenge. From that day on, whenever he found himself in the same room as you (provided Blitz wasn’t there to reprimand him) he would try his hand to win you over. Admittedly, it was very fun to trade bouts of wit with him. He was a cocky brute, but held a sharp tongue. His hot-headedness made it especially entertaining to get him all riled up, teasing him back, only to give him a flick on the nose or a poke on his chest plate. Hell, there was one time you went as far as squeezing his bicep. Specializing in weaponry, especially the heavy duty kind, his arms were definitely impressive. How could you not take that chance?

On the slower days, when he was too tired to even run his eyes over you, he’d still find you hunched over your workspace in the armory to watch you perform your task of the day. An arms specialist finding interest in a weapons technician’s work? Shocker. Still, being surrounded by the blasters and countless ammo and bombs in the armory, listening to the gentle clicks of your tinkering and watching your fingers go through repeating nimble motions over metal plates and little rivets did seem to put him at ease after a rough day. It was something you could much too easily relate to. Over the course of Domino squad’s ARC training, those days where he gave you quiet, warm company were your favorite.

Today was not one of those days.

You had been given a new assignment, transferring from the training base...to travel with the Domino squad once they graduated in the next few days. And it seems like they just got the message too. You rolled your eyes as you heard his low whistle from across the room, but from the safety of being turned around you couldn’t help a sly grin take over your face.

“And what, praytell,” Hevy’s gruff voice fills the armory as his boots echoed off the walls with their weighted falls, like you could hear the sway in his step to the beat of his walk, getting closer to you as you continued to lean over your work table, “Did the Domino ARCs do to get a pretty little thing like you to be our weapons technician?”

“Oi, leave her alone, Hevy,” ever the gentleman, Echo tried to ‘defend your honor’ from the shameless flirt as he walked in not a moment later, “Unless you want her to issue herself for a transfer to a different band of ARCs? Keep talking to her like she’s some meat pie, see where it gets you.”

“Awh, thank you, Echo,” you cooed over your shoulder before pushing up your goggles to give Hevy a sugar-coated pout, “Eat shit, Hevy.”

Hevy knew this game, taking his helmet off he shot you a charming wink, before turning to his brother, “What other ‘band of ARCs’? We’re the only notable ones, all the other ARCs are in CO positions, or are riding it solo and getting contracted to separate battalions for separate missions every day! We’re the only full squad of-“

“Half a squad,” Echo interrupted, taking off his helmet to shoot his brother a criticizing arch of his brow, “You realize a full squad is nine soldiers, right? This stuff has been drilled into us since decanting-”

“Then why do they call us the Domino squad?”

“Rolls off the tongue better than Domino batch,” you grumbled into your work, slipping your goggles back on and trying to focus amidst their conversation, “Look, are y’all actually here for something, or-?”

You trailed off, continuing your practiced movements as you waited for an answer. Hevy leaned next to you on the table, careful not to jostle it, or you, with his weight. He had learned that lesson the hard way...some nights his shin still throbbed with the memory.

“We’re gonna celebrate, not just the graduation, but now with you getting to tag along!” Hevy’s unusual cheeriness made you pause in your work. You turned to him, about to say something when he continued, “And we want you to join in the celebration too, mesh’la.”

You blinked at him, surprised by his offer. Sure, you were friendly to the troopers, and Hevy seems to have gotten especially comfortable around you, but you didn’t think they’d want to invite you to something as special as that. You pulled the goggles completely off your head, setting down your tools as you turned around to lean against your table, “I’ll bite. What’s the catch?”

Echo and Hevy looked between themselves, before glancing at you with mirroring expressions of confusion.

“Why do you want me to join?” you elaborated, bringing up a hand to count on your fingers, “You wouldn’t want me there unless you had a reason for me to join, what is it? Contraband liquor? Snacks? Do you want me to secure the armory for the get together so you don’t have to have it in the barracks, or my quarters, or what?”

“The catch,” Hevy took a careful step into your space, mimicking your new pose, giving you an amused if not surprised smile, “is for you to have fun, not surrounded by guns and ammo.”

“And that’s coming from Hevy,” Echo scoffed, but agreeing with a wide shrug of his shoulders as he crossed his arms. You looked between the two of them as the moment stretched out for what felt like a lifetime… for Hevy at least. All the times he spent with you, all the terrible flirting and unashamed eyeing- he really wanted you to join. He could feel sweat begin to creep down his neck, the longer he waited for a response, swallowing down a gulp of dry air as his gaze flicked nervously over to Echo. Echo simply rolled his eyes- all of Domino Squad knew about Hevy’s true feelings for you. It was hard not to take notice when Hevy was just, well, like that. But they never seemed to learn about Hevy’s quiet times in here with you, how you two would partake in silent togetherness, finding peace in each other’s company. Not that Hevy was embarrassed, far from it, but he liked having that little piece to himself. Of course, he wanted more of you to himself, but for now those comforting silences while you built and rebuilt blasters were enough for him, because they were enough for you.

You kept your gaze neutral as you weighed the option of joining in your mind. It was far from a bad option, you liked this batch. They had been through a lot together, loved and protected each other like brothers should, and along with Hevy they accepted you as one of their own. What was one night?

“Yeah, alright,” you looked between the two ARCs, a grin forming as you stole a glance at Hevy, “I’ll join in. When is it?”

Hevy could jump for joy at your agreement, but he was still leaning on your workspace. Instead he smiled wide, tattooed cheeks crinkling parallel to the corners of his eyes, letting out a relieving breath, “Tomorrow night, the eve of our first deployment as ARCs. Be at our bunks at 1930…and if you do have any liquor-”

“Hevy-”

“Of course I have liquor,” you interrupt Echo’s chiding with a wink to the heavy gunner, bringing your forefinger up to trace Hevy’s jawline, gliding along the sharp edge, the pad of your fingertip calloused from years of work, and swelling with pride at how his dark eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into your teasing touch. Coming off with a playful tap to the tip of his chin, his eyes snapped open at your sultry chuckle, “See you tomorrow, soldier.”

You turned back to your work, slipping your goggles on a final time, but not before a quick and casual wave over your shoulder, “Later, Echo.”

Echo couldn’t figure out your mood toward Hevy worth a damn. He looked between your aloof manners and Hevy’s moony grin, deciding it just wasn’t worth trying to pick your brain at, partially because he was smart enough not to get involved, but also he wasn’t certain he’d be able to stomach the answer. Catching his brother's eyes, he made a discreet gagging motion to him before fitting his helmet back on and walking out the door, “See you, techie.”

Hevy stayed back a bit longer, continuing to watch you work. He was completely quiet, but his silence was deafening. You breathed out a huff of laughter, the tops of your ears beginning to heat up at his attention, wetting your lips, “Well?”

“Hm? Well what?” he shook himself out of his stupor, blinking back into time at your voice.

“Are you gonna leave now n’ let me work?” You cursed inwardly at your harsh words. You liked Hevy, deep down he was a real sweetheart, but you always found yourself being so coarse to him. Thankfully, he was as much of a hardhead as he was a hothead, and he met your indifferent glare with a devilish grin that made your heart jump doubletime.

“No, I think I’m gonna sit right here and watch your lovely hands make something amazing.”

“Amazing?” you scoff, shaking your head at his compliment, “I’m just fixing up another DC-15A that some cadet broke. You need to head to the med station if you think that’s amazing. We both know the Z-6 rotary is far superior-”

“When you’re done with it, it’ll be the best DC-15A in the GAR,” Hevy interrupted, eyes shifting between your face and your hands, “Everything you do is amazing.”

You stopped what you were doing at the genuinity that filled his praise. He always spoke to you with a hint of truth, a bit of heartfelt sincerity to make his easy way of speaking more personal to you, more interesting. But there was something in his expression, maybe the dreamlike haze filling the depths of his eyes, or the way that his accent rolled off his tongue that had you placing your palms flat on the table before speaking low to him, “Hevy, what are you doing?”

“I thought I was pretty clear,” he shrugged with a sideways grin, still careful of the lean on your table, “I’m watching you. You’ve let me before-”

“I mean with the…” you gestured to his full self, keeping your eyes on your now resting project, “The whole...flirting thing.”

You caught him off-guard. The two of you have been at it for months now, but neither of you had ever said or acknowledged anything about it. It was like a silent pact between the two of you, continue the performance, but don’t mention the game. To suddenly come out of the unsaid arrangement, Hevy felt himself draw back, slowly lifting his weight off the table, “Do you...not like it? I mean I figured that you...you know, you’ve always responded…”

You couldn’t believe it. After always having something to say, being able to trade quips, building a friendship over the shared banter and ripostes, the fearless ARC trooper you’ve seen grow so much these past few months was babbling out broken sentences at a single question.

“I can stop, if you’d like.”

It was that whispered phrase that brought you back into the moment, turning to him with burning cheeks, “I didn’t say that.”

“Well then what do you want?” He took a step into your space, brow set and a jaw flexing as he frustratingly tried to understand your sudden shift, “We’ve been...flirting-” the word left him like he was saying it for the first time, each syllable carefully leaving his lips- “since the day I met you. Mesh’la, if you don’t like it, say something! We’re about to go to work together, travelling the galaxy for a long time-”

“Exactly,” you countered, poking at his chest as you stood defiantly to him, tearing off your goggles and mussing your hair off to the side, “Whatever this is, are we gonna continue it? Continue dancing around each other like some kind of goddamned soap opera where everyone but us gets off on our own self-denial?”

“Self-denial?” Hevy repeats, an incredulous sound leaving his chest as you saw a fire spark behind his stare, “Sweetheart, I’m not denying anything, especially things I haven’t been asked!”

“Alright then, fine!” Somewhere down the conversation, your voices had raised to shouting in the small space, even as you two stood almost nose to nose, and your breath hot on his lips you asked, “Do you like me, trooper?”

“Like you? It was love at first sight when you first told me off,” Hevy couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed at his confession, just focusing on fueling the flames between you, “And what about you, techie? How do you feel about me?”

“I think you’re a smartmouthed asshole with a heart of gold and a pretty face- yeah, I like you a whole fucking lot!”

This was ridiculous. You knew it was ridiculous. You could see it in his face too, the two of you breathing heavy, barely a hair’s width away from each other. You’re unsure who started it, later on you two would always claim the other giggled first, but eventually you found yourselves holding onto each other for support as you laughed out the rest of your pointless venom. His arms fit around you perfectly as your hands held strong to his wide shoulders, your laughter filling the room together, the sounds swirling in their melody as everything started to click perfectly into place. Once everything quieted down, your head resting against his chest as his hands ran up and down your back, you exhaled low and steady against him, slowly rocking in his hold, “Plastoid isn’t that comfortable to rest on, huh?”

“You should try wearing it,” Hevy snorted at your comment, leaning over to rest his cheek on the top of your head, “So...what now?”

You hummed, feigning thought before angling your face to brush your lips over the column of his throat, murmuring into his skin, “I wouldn’t be against a kiss.”

Something rich left his throat, the sound deep and thrumming through his chest before one of his hands found its way into your tresses on the back of your head, tugging gently at your hair to guide you to his lips. You couldn’t stop the brief hitch in your breath at the daring move, but you wouldn’t have expected anything less from the brash soldier. At your word he took the lead, slanting over your mouth in a soft motion, breathing you in as easy as air. You followed in confidence, welcoming the boldness with which he kissed you as the same boldness that had him playing the game you both set up. A small noise of satisfaction left you, not just from the perfect pressure from his lips moving so softly against yours, but also from the way his hand gripped so firmly at your waist through your canvas jumpsuit, his other hand still carding so thoughtfully through your hair; it was a sweet little gasp that Hevy swore he’d be replaying in his head for a week. Or at least until he was able to make another sound tumble out of you.

Your hands came up to cup his cheeks, thumbs tracing the edges of his tattoos, pulling him impossibly closer. The payoff of this single kiss was absolutely worth all those months of gentle torture, the teasing touches and glances, discreetly watching his lips when he’d talk and thinking about how he’d feel against your own. Or even how he’d taste. In a stroke of your own audacity, you ran a slow, languid lick of your tongue against his lips, and the growl that came from him made the most delightful of shivers shoot right down your spine.

He had a robust, spicy taste, earthy and rich with a bit of heat that came tickling at your tongue. It wasn’t too surprising- he smelled the same way, smoky and hearty with the biting musk all clones seemed to carry with them. What did surprise you was the honeyed velvet of his own tongue eagerly coming to meet yours as you repeated your action. You could feel his infuriating grin at the helpless whimper that dripped from you at the feeling, and you nipped brazenly at his bottom lip in retaliation.

Before he could respond to your playful attack, the two of you froze as a throat loudy cleared from the entryway of the armory. Hevy almost didn’t pull away from you, a near silent broken whine coming from him (for your ears only) as he came off of your lips with a wet smacking sound. After a quick flex of his fingers, he removed his hands from you just as slowly, your own hands sliding down from his face to clasping behind your back. You both turned to face the bucket of Commander Blitz, arms crossed and stance wide in the doorway. He nodded toward the hall, “You left the door open.”

You cleared your throat, pursing your lips to keep from saying something ridiculous. Hevy clenched his jaw, trying to accomplish the same thing. Blitz’s visor smoothly slid to gaze over you, and you straightened in the mimic of his cadets. “You finally relaxing, techie?”

A short chuckle escaped you, lips twitching up in a coy grin, “I am, Commander.”

He nodded, that same dramatic humming leaving him as he turned then to Hevy, who tensed at full attention to the ARC Commander. “What about you, son. How’s that burn feel?”

“To be perfectly candid, sir,” Hevy, always pushing the limits, turned to shoot you a look with a quick lick of his lips before responding, “Absolutely thrilling.”

Blitz nodded again, taking slow steps into the room, like how Hevy had earlier that day, letting each step echo off the walls until he was about two feet away, “I’m happy for you both, but please. Don’t be stupid. You’re lucky it was me walking by and not one of the longnecks, or the nat-born chief trainers. Close the doors. And do me a favor, wait till you’re both off Kamino for any of the heavier stuff, okay?”

You and Hevy both confirmed the Commander’s request with quick nods and mumbled “Yes sirs,” making him let go a long breath. Uncrossing his arms, he pointed to Hevy, “Trooper, hit the showers. Move it.”

Hevy shot you one last look, if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was bashful, before saluting Blitz, grabbing his helmet and marching out of the armory. You stood straight, still under Blitz’s cold stare from his visor, until he sighed, slapping a companionable hand on your shoulder, “If he steps out of line, I better be the first vod you call. I will kick his ass so hard, he’ll be knocked back to failing the Citadel the first time-”

“At ease, Commander,” you rolled your eyes, you hand coming up to hold onto his, brushing your thumb over his knuckles with a soft breath of laughter, “He didn’t lay a hand on me until I asked him to.”

Blitz squeezed your hand, taking off his own helmet to look at you. He looked a little older than Domino did, cheeks slightly hollowed and eyes a bit deeper set, a bittersweet shine coming over his amber stare, mouth twitching up into a lopsided smile, “I’m gonna miss you, after you go off with those fools.”

“You’ll make great friends with the next techie who comes along. Who knows, maybe they’ll actually listen to you,” you smile back at him, the two of you masking the tears threatening to fall from your lashes. He pulls you in, touching your foreheads together, before giving two more pats to your shoulder.

“And remember,” he pulls off of you, placing his helmet back on and causing his voice to come out in a soft static, “Please, for the love of Jango, don’t-”

“Don’t be stupid,” you salute to him, winking for extra effect, “Aye-aye, ori’vod.”

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