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feddy-fagbear · 3 months

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I am more intrigued could you explain me the Michael and Charlie lore of your version of the fnaf?

so- ironically enough thats kinda what my current wip is about (okay really its abt explaining how the actual fnaf plot ties into everything but shhh) but- well ig let's start at square one

THIS ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IM SORRY FOR GIVING YOU AN ESSAY, this like is basically the entire plot of the au, im sorry, im just- really insane

Charlie's Dead, Now What?

funniest way i could subheader this thing.

charlie and michael are ~2 years apart in age, she was killed when she was 10, michael was 12, this was shortly after his younger brother died, i dont wanna get into why cuz thats a tangent abt william and his Things. so basically, michael's 12, his brother's dead, his best friend's dead, he's kinda curling into himself and then suddenly, like 5 years later, surprise, charlie's back. she didnt die??? but michael like- went to henry's house after a funeral didn't he? did he make that up? how else did he get her hair tie???

yeah, henry did some unethical shit, but who cares? william did worse so surely we can just- gloss over this. and that michael does, because HOLY SHIT CHARLIE'S ALIVE???? LIKE SHE DIDNT DIE???? (she did, just- she's back.) notably she feels like, sounds like, bleeds like a human. she's a human, and there is flesh that is very real, and- i made a post abt this literally earlier today abt the fact she's basically a meat puppet of a creature, but she's back! who cares! she got better

michael was also having a notably Not Fun time during those 5 years btw, 3 years later his little sister goes missing (dont question the timeline, i dont know if it works, i just thought of it and decided it was good enough) and so he's kinda dealing with the weight of that, his parents' marriage is crumbling and he's supposed to ignore that, and just life is getting Bad. so he becomes a total scumbag, really. (in turn, henry views him as a disappointment, and about as good as his father and this is important, it plays into things later)

Yay, Things Are Decent Again!

famous last words. michael and charlie obviously catch up, start getting close again, charlie's told to stop hanging out with him, and she says "no im gonna keep hanging out with michael, youre a dumbass, dad", and this just means michael deals with worse shit for like the last year of his teens, cuz like the moment he's 18 his mom basically fucks off to nowhere (maybe like- washington? who knows. she could be in europe for all michael knows, he didnt keep in touch, she hated him!) and his dad like- kinda also disappears for long swaths of time but who cares abt him, michael's kinda happy abt that, and henry is just- harping on his ass for being a "bad influence" around his daughter who might start smoking or something because of him, the fucking... bastard??? he's a teen with trauma but who cares, its like- the 80s, everyone's kinda fucked up and doesnt care (joking)

but yeah, michael still refuses to stop hanging out w/ charlie cuz 1) homie's got a fat fucking crush and 2) no one tells him what to do. but yknow, charlie hears abt this, gets into a fight with henry abt it, nothing like comes of it but its put strain on their relationship ("oh but pyro its important charlie cares abt her dad" i like destroying canon, henry's a shit dad TO ME and charlie doesnt feel all that connected to him to begin with), and michael starts yknow- doing odd jobs, mostly customer service cuz he doesnt have a reason to fucking go back to freddy's yet because honestly?? why would he without someone like basically forcing him to

he gets an apartment and like by the time charlie's 18 she's moved in with him, theyre sailing pretty smoothly, and... henry cuts off all contact with charlie. she's not really fussed about it (and he's not dead) so it impacts nothing, just means theyre... on their own. but they manage for a couple years and then things get bad enough michael has to work at freddy's for a bit!!

Oh This Is Where The Nightmares Start

this is just where i put all the gore. no but michael decides to work a week at freddy's just for the little extra cash it'll give them, and yknow he talks abt how terrifying the job is to charlie and midway through the week they realize something...

there's something that shouldnt be there in those suits.

anyways he finishes the week, ends up fired for tampering with the animatronics, and then goes back after getting fired, scrapes out the whole- regrowing dead children inside the suits, and then like- he and charlie uh- "properly dispose of the bodies" (burn them in the woods)

yeah this solves the dead children thing, sorry. yeah this au is mostly abt them healing after the fact

and then they get a Call. from who? william Some Strange Random Guy who's like "michael, i'll give ya a tip about how you can find your sister" and michael is So Fucking Broken at this point he's like "yeah sure i'll work at an Afton Robotics Company to get answers"

.... he survives... gets attacked by ennard at his apartment, charlie saves his ass, but uh- yknow- the thing about humans is theyre persistence predators... and ghosts dont have bodies to worry about....

so yeah he gets fucking ripped apart one day in the most brutal of ways, charlie can really only watch, helpless, and then there's this like year? two year gap were michael's like- dead and a skin suit as far as charlie's aware, and she's kinda- fucked- and has to finally reach back out to her father- but eventually! michael turns back up!

Part 4: Corpse Era

OKAY COOL SO MICHAEL'S NOT DEAD, except he's totally dead, but there's no like- metal spaghetti monster in him and he's just- walking about like normal, the scar apparently healed so whatever reason he's alive charlie... doesnt know.... but yknow what? she isnt gonna question it they have greater worries

like a metal spaghetti monster, and also the fact No One Knows Where William Is, and thats kinda Why Henry Disappeared, so like.... yay??? but anyways everything after this is just general lore bullshit so let's get back to the fun stuff

after william's dealt with (burned to death, it works the first time, steel wool era doesnt exist to me solely because im not a Lore Expert and we have such little info rn it feels like id just slam myself into a glass wall), and ennard is... gone (yeah this is a plot hole, listen, i'll patch it soon, maybe it also dies in a fire real nice and easy like) charlie and mike are kinda- left to their own devices now figuring out what to do with their life and well.... they just make the best they can out of it. theyre stuck on the outskirts of society but... it's perfect to try and find a way to heal, to move on past... everything they've seen and had to do and.... yknow- maybe they'll get to be truly happy one day. not in any traditional sense but who needs things to be in any way traditional when your entire life's never been that

i do plan to write some fluff and really bulk out this last bit but for now its kind of nebulous and floaty in my head cuz i just- suck at writing endings that feel... whole and complete? but i think a sort of vague "things arent good but they'll get better" is all you can really ask for in a situation like this yeah?

#corpse boy #robopuppet

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mcflymemes · 1 year

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PROMPTS FROM STEP BROTHERS * assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

this house is a fucking prison!

we're in the bathroom!

i don't believe in belts.

it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself.

i'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.

this wedding is horse shit.

you guys have an outstanding track record.

i was faking. i used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

i smoked pot with johnny hopkins.

you're not gonna come down and say hi to me?

i thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.

i want you out of my fucking house!

i just want you to know i hate you.

oh stop it!

i dont have to swear to shit!

you must feel just terrible.

i owe you an apology.

you gotta keep an eye on it.

you take that back.

we do it because we love you.

hey, can i ask you something?

this is my house now.

what do we do now?

you're failures!

i wasn't fired from my job. i was laid off.

whoa, calm down, man. i'm just joking.

you know what? i still hate you.

you were dead. i saw you die.

sweet jesus! i love korean food!

maybe someday we could become friends.

do you wanna do karate in the garage?

we could hug.

i didn't want the salmon! i said four times!

it sounds a lot like the plot of good will hunting.

how old were you when they got divorced?

why are you so sweaty?

this is what i live with!

this is just like cold case files!

get out of my face, or i'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

was that a fart?

in no way, shape, or form do i feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

what if i were to tell you i could sell this house for 30% above market?

oh, i'm exhausted.

well that's fine.

i always wanted to be a dinosaur.

i can taste it on my tongue.

we're here to fuck shit up!

on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur.

i swear, i'm so pissed off at my mom.

i remember my first beer.

we can bicker about this all night, but what's done is done.

i would follow you into the mists of avalon.

shut the fuck up!

you're alive! oh my god!

my little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

i'm just saying, you need to think about your options.

i'm not gonna call him dad.

did you touch my drum set?

he had the craziest look in his eyes.

you have the voice of an angel.

believe me, i've told him that.

hey, you're embarrassing yourself!

do you want to talk about some of those feelings?

we like to shit with the door open.

guess what? i hate you too.

now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

you better not go to sleep, 'cause as soon as your eyes shut, i'm gonna punch you square in the face.

stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.

hey, you awake?

are you fucking crazy, man?

you're not feeling this?

i tea-bagged your drumset.

i know you two are technically married.

i'm not going to! ever!

my best friend is ben affleck.

look, i didn't touch your drum set.

okay, i'll be honest with you. i did fart.

you know what's good for shoulder pain?

we're putting the house on the market.

don't even think about it.

what's your problem?

i would've done the exact same thing.

did we just become best friends?

i feel like i'm smarter than most of the people who go there.

you and your mom are hillbillies.

it stinks. and this is a small room.

obviously... you don't know me.

my penis is tingling right now.

we make our own beef jerky.

you better not get in my face.

where are we moving?

ready? one, two, three.

i think it's time for a change. for both of us.

your voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus.

i know that we started out as foe.

i've seen him do it.

this house sucks ass.

the clown has no penis.

we are living the dream.

i'm just thinking about our life together.

what kind of dreams are you having?

shut up!

it was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him.

i hope you stay still when you sleep, 'cause i'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.

why do you have randy jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?

you leave me money for pizza?

well what about us?

we literally have never done any of those things.

what's this all about?

shut your mouth!

what the fuck happened?

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suiciderape · 9 months

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jesse vidal jr. is not my type its liminal mall ew! get real ew ok so i was staring outside of my window thinking nah this bitch geto realerr tha real imma finna die this ur in my prisoner walls? yes! why bc hes geto real how real? da fuq bitch its my room walls

shes a cunt hahaha

nah it hurtz

what the fucking bitch stupidee cheeze nvm! geyy eww delete we can be geto real murderers without partna in south korea where is he? in the center? me? in the front hm literally shes right next to u ew! mhm what day is it? march 1st mhm nah ok surf fuck get her off of me! huh

i had a vision shes a cude lmfao no it went different u were literally in her fucking house! mrs. b?! hell nah bitch she went ugly geto to stay off me no im confused about what to right its not even the point dudee u do rmbr she died its ugly to follow her on tumblr 1st post cheeze its disgusting no followers its disgusting! its digusting! shes dead!? look im in her liminal mall im a zeus heaven gate? spotify lured her into her mistress mind 1st perioud ew shea ugly as fucke and ew she wants to fuxk me ew shes geto real rude ew ok go home weeno noo no mo mo no! shes in the rume haha rhis is stupid not u surf im in the romeo ew! shes a back stabber im her romeo real real geto bitch! she told me she told me that i would die for dating her sister and not send in the bean eww hahaha damn sk sui shordy 9 what the fuck is this! thats fux yes ew shes geto real real ghetto what is there to do no its me! im gonna fux u right now no! ur soul sister? shordy hes cutee do it asian bean 9 lcg ok! i said no im not put my hands on u! or do anything to u? scene in senesense mean awkward mean girls stole my sign language! posted up? yes i changed into ur clothes hahaha!! he is in my body dudee romeo no fucking way! lets get out of her bitch! yes im her fuck buddy toy bad omg i love her bad ass dicks! omg her lux traineer yes! tumblr queeno britney who the fuck said u couls cunt crack kill crips apple crisp daamn its ghetto liminal mall geto 4realz asian gangster sister luv were sissyboiqt tight? yes! eww hahaha shes not lying its tight wait fr? yes! omg! no! someone else chillmaxextremist omg where? twitter no! where is hee i killed his luv gang im on her bed next to her smoking a cigarette im making sure u dont type her into her liminal mall ew bitch geto ugly door handle um! im in her room rn! fucking nigger! im dead i killed myself how did u kill urself? i typed in liminal mall on tumblr and fell into my macbook pro hhaha ew! ur so weird thats hella geto? how did it get into ur room? jesse vidal jr. put it on my bed the wrong one it was z flip 3 geto hahaha ew! ur fine? yes babe shes in my liminal mall space myspace diamondz u killes him! ew bitch macbook pro? cuter nah they finna get jazelle fag stupidee bitch um cuntz nah were gemimi geto hell 3 she brought in a faggot yoon keeho from eboy manga romeo ew stfu and type sk8r boi

#gemimi geto hell 3 zip

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pandasized-crevice · 2 years

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MY FRESH JUST WATCHED KINNPORSCHE EP 14 THOUGHTS

are y’all freaking ready cus I’m not😭

back at the house okok

Ig after he remembers he’ll go get Korns headass?

Vegas looks so innocent and sweet just then

As you should protect pete!!!!

OH PORSCHE IS REMEMBERING

Baby chay!! 🥺so cute

PHOENIX TATTOO ORGINS

Bitch im gonna cry DEADASS

OH WE THERE THE WHOLE TIME🕴🏻

I’m scared Porsche is gonna shoot Korn on accident and kinns gonna come in at that moment

OH KINN IS HERE

Tell them the ACTUAL TRUTH KORN

Say sike we can’t be c o u s i n s 🕴🏻

SIDEBAR:Everyone was so quick to be like omg they’re cousins as if Korn would let them be together/bring them together if they were actually blood related

There it is:foster sister

GUN YOU FUCKER

W H A T NO😦

OH SHIT KORN HAVING A STROKE

Kinn don’t look at him like that🤨

ALL THE BROTHERS FINALLY

it would be their dad nearly dying that brings them together

wait…😶

WAIT😬

KORN DIED?!?OH SHIT I THOUGHT HE’D PULL THROUGH

oh kinn THAT DAMNED RING BRO

YOU SHOULDVE DIED GUN (he better die on god)

wait poisoned?i thought the stress of the truth got him…..🤨

His dad dead and he can’t even mourn DAMNED MAFIA LIFE

Porsche my boy☹️

Hey girlies💃🕺

All these whores underestimating my boy 😤

YUHHH MAFIA LEADER KINN THINGS

oh lord there goes the minor families boys

Vegas in the tan suit🥵

pause:are vegas pants like flared? thats giving

Wait if Chan dies……😶

OH TELL HIM CHAN

Chan you are so cool sir🗣🧎‍♀️

ITS STARTING WHORES ITS STARTING

🚨THE MAFIA SHOW IS MAFIAING🚨🔫

NO CHAN I WAS JUST KIDDING NOOOO

DAMNIT SOMEONE BETTER END GUN DEADASS

one last smoke i salute you chan🫡

GOOD LORD MY BOYS

POL NO YALL CAN'T TAKE POL TOO

FUCK THEM UP KINNPETE

PORSCHE PLEASE PULL UP SOON

YESSSS OUR BOY IS HERE

FUCK YES DUDE OMG

kinns "porsche" AYAHAHAH

THIS QUEEN GO GIRL YESS

it time hoes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IM ON YOUR SIDE AHAHAHhAHAHFHBDRJ.FJKRHFNJERHNER ER

🗣YESSSSSSSS THE GUN SPINNING🗣

KINN PLEASE🫣😳😏

FINALLY FREEFALL WITH KINNPORSCHE

*the woman was too in awe & stunned to speak*

CRAP KINN GET UP

NO PORSCHE FUCK YOU VEGAS

pete NOWS YOUR TIME WHERE ARE YOU

NOT PORSCHE NOT THE HEART

um.....🤨🕴🏻

TANKHUN?!?!

YESSS MY KING ARM DOES IT AGAIN🫶

ERIKA YOU ARE A QUEEN

YESSSSS GO GIRL🫶

HEY CHAY

hair dye product placement nice nice

AHAHA KIM IS THERE TO PROTECT CHAY

FUCK THEM UP KIM YESSS

his face dude 😂

chay just chilling while kim fighting for their lives💀

kim the badass you are🧎‍♀️

NO NOT ERIKA😦😩

no fuck you,you killed my parents

OOOOOOH WHAT😯

NO FUCKING WAY 😦

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK😧

these fools i stg

PETE!!!!!!!!!GET HIM PETE FR

shiiiiiit🫢

OHHH MY GOD

SAY FUCKING SIKE RN

HE'S ALIVE?!??????!!!!!dude what the fuck

NO FUCKING WAY

YALL ARE SHITTING ME

SHE'S A L I V E?!?!

dude once again WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

W O W

DUDE WHATS THE ACTUAL FUCKING TRUTH

man i'd shoot korn anyway,just a little🤏

oh hey vegas

your dad was trash vegas highkey better this way

AND IF VEGAS SHOOTS KORN WHAT THEN🧍🏻

pete don't leave NOO PETE STAY WITH US

bro im crying

damn that was an all day fight huh

bitch im sobbing

*THE WOMAN WAS TOO FUCKING STUNNED TO SPEAK WTF*

WHAT?! PORSCHE MAFIA LEADER ERA?!😮

oh so chay didn't know kim was there?typical

OOOOOH YEAH PORSCHE HEAD OF MINOR FUCKING FAMILY LOOK HIM ASHHEK.FIWRN🫡👏

NOT THE TRASITION TO WHEN HE FIRST GOT TO THE HOUSE😭

HE. IS.SO.FUCKING.F I N E😳

yall see their fucking rings bitch im levitating

THESE BITCHES ARE SO HOT POWER FUCKING COUPLE BITCH

TANKHUN AND TAY YES!!!!!!!

yes and pol is okay thank god

hey chay what goes on

THIS IS THE LOOKING AT HIS PHONE AND CRYING SCENE

ITS KIM SINGING WHY DONT YOU FUCKING STAY!?HIS CONFESSION TO CHAY😭

jeff fucking it up rn AS HE SHOULD YUH

OH WE ON DA BOAT

tankhun getting emotional i love him you honor

porsche not that type of surprise girl💀😏

dude just....apo is so fucking gorgeous who allowed this

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MILE

porsche smacking kinns ass is something i never knew i needed

kinn bartender era!

kinn is so fucking cheesy

BOTH OF THEM ARE THE HAND KISS PLS

I KNEW VEGAS HOE ASS WAS ALIVE

you can't kill the devil that easily😈

become one? sounds like a marriage proposal

dude i fucking love them so.much

tankhun just like me fr

their mom deserved so much better☹️

this is heartbreaking 😭

PETE MY BOY

the last glimpse we see of macau and he's asleep

WHY YOU THINK GIRL

bro stop look at them 😭just a little family fr☹️🫶

WHAT A FUCKING ROLLARCOASTER MAN. but it was an honor to ride it with yall my fellow kinnporschers🫡

#cellulars fjwkpt #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #thai series #thai bl series #kinnporsche finale #kinnporsche ep14 #i love kinnporsche #I’m gonna miss them dude😭#season two when pls & thx

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scentedchildnacho · 6 months

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Uhm the couple that came......this morning with shit and McDonald's...i only said to them your dog left shit over by where that homeless man goes and he won't appreciate that.....so I was screamed at to mind my own business or I would get slapped.....so I said im a homeless person i dont have any business people like me organize and find business unhygienic disgusting people just into fucking and acting dull...

People in business just dont appreciate all they have in life and i like the states my family has been from the states a long time and I even if its rough like people here

And those are harmless Germans so if it's not appreciated its displaced here then

That was when they brought the seven eleven then they brought the mcdonalds so I told her dont ever stare at me....they kept walking up at me

Then I was white so she wanted to call me a bitch so I said oh no you as everyone can see may not be anything here but an ass and you show that to everyone so it's you actually now that you let everyone see ass that will never be anything here but a bitch you can project that tragedy onto white but stupid is stupid and its to be behaved

You should know that here all you said was slap bitch and business and you do only have to be sentenced to bitchery....i think they will be more shocking then that but that's wrong because your a very wrong person

Well slapping or shitting or injuring people after outside detainment is a very wrong thing....so people will be very shocking and wrong to her

Bitch is just having to be unwanted hospie insurance but I don't think she will get away with being just a hospie i think she will get weird jail sentences like she is the library nazi that dance lady was to us....she accused me of being someone that did something a cop did so now she has to live that....

Well she will have threatened me someone in her weight class....but those are male serial killers and if you

Go around telling them you gang fight they will really watch you till they get to really really beat you

So quite frankly if your an ass bitch this place is really really frightening and i dont recommend to anyone that they allow themselves off house arrest

They came onto the public area because they claimed they were helping a homeless couple with food.......so I asked the homeless couple.....if they were their friends and they said yes....so I asked if they are why they sleep there because that place is less safe then other places....and she said no they don't tell them to do that to themselves....

They sleep in an area trucks drive up to so I was like maybe they are environmentalist and they train to protest wilderness destruction but it's been my experience segregative crime is just a mask terrorists wear if it's me it's also them maybe they beat up on....

Or their terrorist rapeists it's us it's children it's....

I think they just smoke some pot and don't like moving in the morning but friends that jail appears to me like they put them on foriegn dope the truck drives up and they just don't move

Now we all know that white bitch may only be from the states.....people who start business to cop people are foriegn....im from the states and the conflict is at a state of emergency and there is no positive cause to steal people's wallets till they die and justify it propagandically

I have been to white sands only feds do that naval dental....

Foriegn people have Paris agreements feds did that to me

Conscription to the union army is very cruel....English didn't do that feds did

If it's a creepy begger down at mc Donald's that will fuck ya over if you won't give it it's daddy allowance that is English....if you don't give English their pounds they pound your head in....

She wanted to accuse me of all the military knows of french torture that I don't know so I said no maam ya lie to yourself about paradoxical truth most people are normal and militants go to Him and tell Him their psychopathology so they may be comfortable and at greater peace.....you are who didn't get to be military....

I was white and I learn about life people enjoy predation and those are predators and they were upset and agitated

Well business is foriegn when people cant exhibit any common or normal empathy or compassion they kill you to send money to foriegn banks....im from the states no bank can fix what an incumbant has to do....

Growing power is an organization there is some business to it but those people refuse to treat people like their all the same and all deserve incrimination....

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thegardensstory · 1 year

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It’s Been Awhile.

I guess I didn't realize I posted on here when I deleted my main Instagram account. Well, since then I used my tagged Insta account that I added to my main one, and just deleted that one LOL. Silly me.

I have, once again, removed myself from the main stream world. I still have FB. Dont worry ;)

I have been really struggling in a lot of areas. I guess its true when adults say they really dont know what theyre doing. Theyre just getting older. I am almost 30, married, we own a home and have a kid, and guess what? I still feel mega lost. All the time.

Im anxious a lot lately. I still have heart palpitations that drive me nuts and make me feel crazy and I absolutely cannot control my thoughts to save my life. Thoughts of Leon dying by falling over the edge of the Grand Canyon? Check. Thoughts of me dying in a fiery car crash? Check. One day my husband leaves me and I have to fend for myself by paying for the house and becoming a single mother forever? Check.

Its nuts because I love Jesus and live my life for Him. I read the Word everyday and pray. A lot. Maybe im doing something wrong? Or maybe this is all normal and just a test of faithfullness and character. I PROMISE LORD, I LOVE YOU.

I know it seems like I hate my life on this page since leaving college but I promise thats not true. I LOVE my life and its amazing. I think Im just experiencing some weird “growing adulthood” things that my generation has not gotten around to talking about yet on the internet so it feels really lonely.

I am the generation where you got participation trophies for coming in last (yay me and my chubby middle schooler days when it was pulling teeth to run a mile!) I hated it. But all growing up I was told that I would be famous for singing, theater, dance, leading worship, songwriting. Well, Im almost 30, have a kid now and have almost no time to even pick up my guitar.

Maybe all the words were just smoke? Do I let the dreams die in place of normalcy and just being a peaceful human? Is it enough to just live a regular life and not have the weight of “content creation”, fame and work your ass off attitude all the time?

I think I would like a clear answer. If I had a clear answer (either way) I could just snuggle up and be cozy, or start my hard work without fear of failure. But thats impossible. God doesn't just tell you everything thats gona happen in your life....unless you’re Laura Harris Smith and know everything *sarcasm*.

Anyways, I’ve said too much. G’night.

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bishiglomper · 2 years

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Our house. Its flippin’ terrible. Like we’re definitely getting evicted if the landlord gets wind of it. Which is always possible, I mean, he’s the fucking next door neighbor and also he’s taken it upon himself to change our air filter personally. So he comes in through the basement every month or two.

My once monster of an aloe I was so proud of and loved giving away it’s babies has shriveled to a husk because my sister refuses to let me open a corner of the curtain to give it some fucking sunshine because we can’t let the landlord see inside. Not even a corner of the curtain. The plant is directly against the window but NO. Do you know how much care an aloe needs? Hardly any. My sister had an aloe she forgot about for a year on a shelf above her living room and that fucker THRIVED. She bought me a box of tiny succulents that all starved because I literally have no windows I’m allowed to uncover in this house.

My tolerance for the bullshit has broken, like. I used to have full blown panic attacks after my bar gradually got full but I can’t bring myself to care anymore. Because it never changes.

Mom and I weren’t the best housekeepers ourselves, but after a week or two of letting things go, we’d get a bug up our butt and clean. After a week or two. Of two people. It worked for us.

My sister and her family are hoarder bad. No one can keep up with that. No amount of come-to-jesus talks helped. Charts don’t help. Lists don’t help. Everyone is very anti-authority here. Small simple shit like “put ALL the groceries away” or “dont leave trash in the sink” goes ignored.

That shit gets mentally and physically tiring and I don’t have the wherewithal to bother caring anymore. I physically don’t have the energy to bend down and pick up every piece of trash I pass by. Maybe if OTHER people did their part, there might be a point in trying, but they do not. I used to be the panic-cleaner. I’d get exclamations of “Holy shit!!” every time someone came down to see the progress I’d done. It was lovely. But that was back when I wasn’t as chronically ill.

It takes everything I have just to keep peoples paws off my immediate corner, which I only have so much control over. They still leave drinks, food, toys, mess on my table I use my laptop and tablet on and it’s a pain in the FUCKING ass to MOVE the table so I can get up, because they let shit accumulate in the living room so I have no choice but to heft my sore joints over the chair arms to wriggle out. I take out two handfuls of trash every time I exit my chair. Only a quarter of it is mine.

Shit is always falling apart and we have to just. Tolerate it. Because we can’t let anyone in. Because even if it’s not the LANDLORD, my sister is like “They’re gonna call CPS on us and take my child” Like maybe that would be a good fucking incentive to not like it be bad then???

Like the smoke that came from the sink the other day. Apparently there’s just a clog or something and sewer gasses erupted into the house. Not dangerous, so it’s nothing we can do.

But not we don’t get any water from our kitchen sink. And no one plans on doing anything to fix it so I guess we just won’t have water there.

We went like 2 years without AC. the house got SUPER BAD. Fleas, shit all over the house, (Which I can usually say NEVER fucking happens because the litterboxes may get bad, but NEVER. NEVER that bad. I do not let piss and shit just accumulate, okay? But that year? That year I had to go take care of grandma and I abandoned the house and my cats.

Pantera didn’t die until after we got AC but I’m still convinced the stress of that whole situation is what did him in. My cat fucking died.

Then there was the year or two we didn’t have HEAT. Felt like a fucking refugee trying to stay warm in a dilapidated building. 3 pairs of socks at a time, everyone camping out in one room. Showers at another house. It’s awful.

I don’t know why but today we don’t have electricity upstairs. If my fan doesn’t work by tonight, I’m gonna have to sleep downstairs. The upstairs is always hot. Like it smells like hot wood all the time because so much heat rises. Even if we try closing the downstairs vent to push the AC up.

Usually mom is a crying puddle in the bed. For months at a time. I legit tried to get her into those electric shock therapy clinics because it was so fucking bad.

Somehow though, she’s been active and functional. I don’t know how she does it because even she says there’s no hope. (I once picked up a teapot, because I have a collection packed away and by picking up a new one she exclaimed that “I had hope” and it broke my fucking heart because. yeah. I was thinking this would go so well with the theme when I get to see them again, I just wasn’t thinking about WHEN I’d get to see my teapots again...)

But mom has been working to get the house right. I think it started at being upset over us having to get a storage unit, throwing random shit in it... HARDLY utilizing it right and shelling out $60 a month for nothing useful. She started by sorting out our attic/ storage closet. Then she did the other big closet. It was all background stuff that didn’t affect the house in any way, really, except by shifting around the christmas stuff back into submission.

But lately she started in on DISHES. Like holy shit, a main priority.

Unfortunately she picked that right before we lost our kitchen sink.

But apparently that didn’t stop her. Because she’s been carrying literal buckets of hot water down from the tub to do them

Some of this shit has been sitting there for years. There’s black mold. We should honestly just... throw this shit away, it’s so horrific. But she’s trying to clean them. I’m very proud of her but at the same time I don’t want to go anywhere near it because NOTHING EVER CHANGES we’ll be right back to hiding bins of dirty dishes under the kitchen tables and shit. I mean I’m trying to do the things she asks me to, but with my sister still living here...... ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ )

Like don’t tease me with hope plz. just go.

#vent #im just so tired #long post

0 notes

strawbxrryneptune · 3 years

Note

Hood Bakugo gives me life.

I NEED you to write about the whole UA gang in the hood because this was just *chefs kiss*

Easily in my top 5 fav fics of all time ♥♥♥

Idk what you mean by whole UA gang but here's a lil smth smth

♡♡

Bakugou in the hood is beautiful. Dating him is like a religious experience tbh. He's definitely the plug/dealer everyone's afraid of. If you owe him money or anything, I pray for you. He does not take shit lightly, you will leave his place with 4 missing toes, and if you don't pay your debt by the end of the week, you won't have any legs 🤷🏾‍♀️. Carries a glock around all the time, but you wouldnt know cause he hides it. Has a temper but it's not as bad as it used to be when he was just starting out. He sits back and watches, the kind of gangsta that doesnt do the whole 'gang signs for everything' type shit, and he's not soft. For you, yeah. For his bros, sometimes, but if he needs to kill a bitch he won't hesitate.

He loves ass. Like if you walk into his crib and you're wearing shorts??

Game over.

He'll push you down onto the plush carpet of his office and make you suck him off while he takes drags of a blunt, offering it to you while you gag around him. If you accept, he'll have you blow rings around his cock while you suck it, then when he's about to cum he'll pull you off and fuck you from the back, grabbing at your ass and cursing into the air.

Gives you a smack on the ass and a bunch of rolled hundreds so you can go shopping. Get as much shit as you want, but at the end of the day you better be in his bed.

♡♡

Denki's headass is a fake hood nigga . He's probably a super senior (got held back lmfao) cause he kept getting caught either blowing bitches backs out in the stairwell or hot boxing the bathroom. When he was in high school, he was def the type to put a speaker in his backpack and blast NBA youngboy. He throws gang signs in the hallways, not even knowing what some of them really mean.

He's been shot at multiple times.

The only reason he's not always in trouble is cause he and Bakugou grew up together. No one fucks with Bakugou's crew.

He has an unhealthy obsession with tits for sure. He sees you in a tank top or an off the shoulder and hes pulling you to a secluded corner and kissing you breathless, hands tugging and pinching at your chest.

Loves when you ride him cause he can watch your tits bounce.

Even if you dont have big ones, he still loves them, sucking at your nipples and rubbing up and down your stomach.

Leaves lots of marks.

Would die for you. Has threatened to shoot your parents for making you cry, even though all he has is a pocket knife.

Has to beg Bakugou for a glock.

♡♡

Sero is the plug. Like, Bakugou does some runs for him occasionally but Sero has everything. He's always in this really ratty recliner with a pitbull at his feet, smoking a blunt and playing some dumbass game.

He has so much money constantly, its crazy.

Even tho what he does is against the law in so many ways he's friends with all the neighborhood cops. Mans never gets in trouble LMAO.

He and Bakugou are the ones who run shit.

He loves thighs. Around the house you're only allowed to wear short shorts and thigh thighs. Or, even better, naked with thigh thighs 👀

Sadly, the last option is virtually impossible cause there's always people coming in and out.

But when he isnt working, he loves to lay you down and feast on you, making you play his game or try to finish his blunt without choking or losing.

Goes down on you for hours, won't even fuck you unless you beg for it.

Doesnt give a shit about himself when it comes to you :((

♡♡

Kirishima isnt a part of the hood LMFAO

Hes like that one friend who everyone loves but doesnt belong there.

Like Jaden, Shawn, Daeshawn, and Mark.

We love Mark.

Kiri was Bakugou's childhood best friend. He and Bakugou went on different paths, and Bakugou is a growing gangsta while Kirishima is manager in training at Game Stop.

He doesn't smoke often but when he does it's really fun.

Gets the gang discounts at the store, even tho they can all afford to buy the entire Gamestop chain.

That's why Sero has every new Play Station, Balugou has every Xbox, Denki has all the Legend of Zelda merch, Mina has a bunch of cute plushies.

He always comes in clutch 😫

He loves everything about you.

Like he cant pick a favorite body part, but loose clothing (sundresses, baggy clothes, his clothes??) Makes him lose his mind.

He will lift up whatever you're wearing finger you till your creaming all over him, then slide home and make your legs shake for days.

Feral Kirishima is not a common thing, hes usually sweet and doting, the ultimate service dom, but wear his shirt with some thigh highs or a garter belt?? Or even his uniform shirt ??

R.I.P that pussy, ayyy

♡♡

Mina is literally the most fun out of all of them.

She always has some type of substance on her, a little flask, some weed in a cute baggy, some suspicious pills, you name it.

Always dresses in juicy merch.

Shes always wearing those silky sweat outfits with the crop jackets, with a gold chain and some filas.

Nails always done, hair always done.

Ms. Girl can fight, period.

Will and has beat a bitch for you.

Don't get her mad. She angry cries, and will swing on you if needed.

She also loves everything about you, but she be staring at your ass a lot.

Doesnt care what you're wearing, she will smack it.

Shes usually more domineering. Shes definitely a switch, but she takes control in the way that she knows what she wants and she'll guide you through it, even if shes "subbing"

Loves going down on you.

She gets insecure sometimes when you wanna eat her out, but always shakes in pleasure at the end of the night, manicures nails scraping down your back and scalp as she screams your name.

You literally have no idea what she does or where she goes when she disappears randomly, but she always has cash.

No one asks questions tho

♡♡

Let me know if you want a Dekusquad or individual fic/drabble :)

721 notes · View notes

obsessive-ego · 3 years

Text

Just go with it part 2

Musical beetlejuice x reader

You have to meet juno and pretend you and bj are getting married

Nsft sorta, mentions of activity

Part 1

"Babes"

....

"Sugar"

...

"Y/n"

...?

"Y/n wake up, come on babes"

...!

"Beej?" You mumble rubbing your eyes "what's wrong?" You say in a whisper.

He doesnt respond, you turn on the lamp by your bed and check your phone clock

5:42am

You sigh, looking back at the demon, now being able to see him clearly, you freeze upon seeing that the demon was now completely purple, his hair, his beard, his tie, all deep purple.

"What's wrong?" You ask again, more fear in you voice then intended

"Okay y/n" he starts, using your name rather then a pet name was never a good sign "so you remember a few nights ago when that suit came by to see if I was lying about our relationship?"

"He's back?!" You sit up, more awake "wait... wasnt the repercussion to that not that bad? Just some extra work for you?"

Beetlejuice rubs his neck "yeah, thing about that, it's not him... my mother is here, to talk to you personally..." he trails off refusing to look at you

"Your mother...." you repeat feeling your stomach drop

"Yeah..."

"What's gonna happen if she finds us out?" You ask in a whisper

"...who knows with her" the demon spits before looking away.

The two of you remain in silence over the shit beetlejuice has gotten you into it.

Beetlejuice huffs out his nose as his focus goes back to you.

"So y/n, I mean honey~" the demon pulls you up from your bed and into a side hug "ready to meet mommy dearest?" Beetlejuice tried to smile, make light of the situation, but his hair betrayed him, remaining a deep purple, even though he tried his best to plaster a grin across his face for your sake.

You didnt know much about Beetlejuice's mother, other then she didnt exactly win mother of the year, beej only opened up about her a handful of times, long story short, you knew this was gonna be a rough experience for both of you, but mostly Beej.

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders, pulling the same ring he gave you to fool the suit, the same tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, your heart swelled at the sight of the ring.

The ghoul drops on one knee, and gently slides the ring onto your middle finger, pausing to kiss your hand before giving you wink, under different circumstances you would die from such a cheesy romantic gesture, but now was not that time, you did appreciate beetlejuice trying to lighten the mood.

"Alright honey, you remember the drill?"

"Yes"

"That's my future wife, let's not keep the bitch waiting" he smiles linking arms with you

Future wife...

You couldnt help but give the ghoul a soft smile at the thought.

Beetlejuice takes a deep breath, smoothing his hair back, wiping the purple away in favour of his default green.

The demon grabs your hand begins to lead you to your living room, you could barely focus over the sound of your heart pounding, who could blame you, you were about to come face to face with someone Beetlejuice was afraid of.

As the two of you head down the hall , she was finally in sight, you felt your stomach drop, in your recliner sat an old woman, dressed completely in red, she had a permanent scowl across her face, her whole presence give off a bad feeling.

"Lawrence, you took your sweet time fetching your fiance" she barked causing beetlejuice to flinch

"Ya know breathers, they like their sleep-" he forces a laugh, purple slowly creeping back into his hair

"Nonsense, it's nearly 6am, that's more then a reasonable time for breathers to wake and start their pointless routines" she waves off, beetlejuice frowns and leads you to the couch, where the both of you sit.

"Its been awhile huh Ma? Like I was saying earlier, it's nice to see you again and-" beetlejuice was babbling

"Zip it" was all she said and beetlejuice clamped his mouth shut and gazed down staring at his feet. "Lawrence, I didnt come here for pointless pleasantries" her eyes meet yours "y/n l/n I dont know what Lawrence has done to you or promised you, but I can assure you he doesnt care about you, and just wants freedom, further more Lawrence, do you honestly think this breather could love you? This game of yours needs to come to an end, there is alot of paper work tied up in this farce of yours"

You were taken back by her words, she really didn't beat around the bush.

"I dont-" you start, voice trembling

"Ma, y/n loves me and I love them, see~" beetlejuice grabs your hand to show his mother the ring, she eyes the ring for a moment, then goes bad to staring daggers into her son, her scowl never faltering.

"Tacky" she huffs, a simple response like that was enough to shut her son down, beetlejuice pulled away from you, pressing his back firm against the couch, lips pressed shut and hands clamped together in his lap.

"As I was saying, Lawrence is a natural born troublemaker, and youd be smart to back out of this farce before he gains life, knocks you up with a life ruining disappointment, and vanishes from your life" she droned as she lights a cigarette, taking a deep inhale, smoke shooting out from her neck.

You swallow hard.

"I would prefer if you didnt smoke in my house, ma'am"

Juno stares at you for a moment, then shakes her head as she puts out her cigarette on your coffee table.

"Ma'am I really do trust beetlejuice, and I love him, this isnt a farce-" you began, but your words were ignored

"If you want to throw yourself into a mess, I wont stop you, I'm not here to save you, but I have to applaud his efforts on tricking someone LEGAL this time for his little game. Even though this mess of yours is going to keep him out of my way for awhile, it doesn't cover the fact that Lawrence's efforts have caused my office nothing but work. And even if this "love" was real the boy ruins everything thing he touches, cant do anything right, having him around only causes headaches, you'll see soon enough y/n," Juno's hurtful words drone on, as if her son wasnt sitting across the table from her.

"Back to the matter, even if you do choose to marry this fool, I wanted to warn you about the mess your getting yourself into, giving him life would only cause you grief, and I dont want to hear it when you get to the netherworld after a suicide his actions caused"

You grit your teeth at that last remark, you knew juno thought poorly of beetlejuice, but did she honestly thing her son was so awful that youd kill yourself over his actions, you felt like you were going to be sick.

"Lawrence, why is your hair purple?"

You glance over to beetlejuice, who infact was completely purple, the deepest purple you've ever seen him wear.

Beetlejuice bites down on his lip, his hands clenched in fists as they sat on his thighs, he was frozen.

"Bee?" You gently whisper as you slowly place a hand on his, the ghoul flinches at your touch, beetlejuice slowly takes your hand in his and gives it a light squeeze.

"Come on Ma, y/n my be dramatic, and get mad at me from time to time, but they'd never kill themselves over anything dumb I'd do, and hell we already talked it over, we dont want kids" the ghoul leans into you for support.

Juno scowls "to remind you both, I'm not here to stop you two, the only thing I'm here for is to warn this foolish breather, and double check to make sure YOU arent mucking about and blackmailing the living again, there is a lot of paper work involved in this little game of yours, and you still havent delt with the paper work of your failed marriage and death by the hands of that poor child you tricked" her eyes narrow down to beetlejuice, juno pauses, then sighs

"Lawrence just come clean, this little game of yours has gone on long enough, even if you didnt blackmail this poor soul into marrying you, do you honestly think they love you? You dont actually think this breather wants you around do you?"

"That's not true, I do-"

You werent able to finish that sentence, with a snap of juno's fingers your mouth is now cover with a strip of duct tape.

"You've honestly fooled yourself into thinking you could be loved didnt you? Pitiful, maybe this breather found you amusing now, but you dont think it's going to last do you?" Her questioning goes on, she was convinced her son was unlovable, you tug away at the duct tape but it refuses to budge, beetlejuice was too focused on his mother's words, to the point where he was starting to believe her, the purple slowly faded from him in favour of white, a color you've never seen on him.

"Lawrence you're little game is over, and you're going to clean up the mess you made, I have a decade's worth of paper work for you to fill out over this farce and every other little issue you caused, I knew from the start this was fake, no living person in their right mind would let you into their life willingly"

A decade's worth of paper work?! Was that so important that she was willing to manipulate her own son into thinking he was worthless?

"Lawrence you are such a screw up, the amount of work your little games keep giving me is coming to an end, you will never be alive, you will never be loved, let alone tolerated, and you are coming back to my office to straighten up ever little issue you have caused, if you think being invisible for a millennia is bad-" she raises her voice with each hateful word.

This duct tape wasnt going to budge, so you went with plan B, you roughly bump into the demon's side to get his attention, beetlejuice looking your way, your eyes grow wide at his expression, he was crying, black gooey tears. The two of you stare at each other what felt like an eternity, Juno's voice no longer reached him, beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the duct tape vanishes from your mouth.

You jump up from you position on the couch "I'm sorry ma'am but bee- Lawrence isnt worthless, and yes, he can be an ass, and insensitive at times, but I love him and I really do want to marry him! And whatever stupid paper work that is tied up in this, can just fuck off..." your voice tweaks as the ghoulish women sitting across from you stands up, eyes dead set on you.

You werent great with confrontation, and beej knew this, but here you were talking back to his mother, you his tiny sweet breather talking back to a literal monster. The white from Beetlejuice's hair quickly left in replacement to pink 'I really do want to marry him!' Those words from your lips could have made his heart start beating , tho that was shortly lived when he saw this mother stand, purple took hold of his form once again.

He couldnt let you fight his mistakes alone, though he found it hot that you could be his knight in shining armor.

No, beetlejuice is quick to jump up and link his arm with yours "see ma, this little breather stole my heart, and hell, we've been planning our little wedding for months" beetlejuice snaps his fingers and in a flash his and yours clothes change. Beetlejuice wore a red tux made with crushed velvet, with a lacy front, his whole outfit screamed tacky, but that was him. Looking down at your self, you stifle a laugh, here you were, 6:30am, dressed in a red puffy lacing monster of a dress, in all honesty this wouldnt be your first choice, but now was not that time. Beetlejuice pulls you close, you could swear he could hear how hard your heart was pounding, could you blame yourself? He looked so handsome all dressed up, even if this was fake.

"My, my Lawrence, doesnt that dress look familiar, isnt that the dress you forced that poor child to wear the last time you played this game?" his mother sneers

"Its called a call back, and y/n loves it" he sneers back you nodded in agreement, beetlejuice continues "we're still working on a venue, trying to find a band, believe me, planning a wedding is exhausting, and oh! dont be surprised if your invite gets lost in the mail ma" the demon gives a shit eating grin, you smile seeing beetlejuice has gained SOME confidence back.

"I have no interest in attending your little wedding Lawrence" she spat "it's clear you're not going to budge, and still refusing to take responsibility for your actions, you always were a slacker, and if that's the case, once you die again you will be returning to my office to deal with the mess you made" her focus turns to you "or I could end this little charade by killing your ticket to life"

Your heart stops at her words, she was a demon, Beetlejuice's grip tightens on you, the silence must have been hurting him as much as it did you.

"But I wont, itd be too much a hassle ending a life before it's time"

You sigh in relief, and beetlejuice loosens his grip.

"This will end poorly for the two of you, and I dont want to hear it" juno walks past the two of you, and with a gesture of her hand the livingroom wall opens up to reveal an office full of the dead.

"Lawrence before you join the living I need to deal with one last errand, so I will see you later, and you" Juno's boney finger points to you "you have no idea what you've signed up for" and with that she was gone, the wall closes up as if nothing happened, the two of you collapse on the floor

"Shes gone" you sigh, you've never been more scared in you entire life then you were talking to Juno

"So you like your future mother in law?" Beej jabs you side

"Oh yeah, a delight" you snort, "how long do you think we have before she notices we havent gotten married?" You tone shifts to a more serious note

"No clue, guess you'll actually need to marry me now" he pulls you into a side hug

"What?" You stammer, beetlejuice laughs at your response

"HA! Just pulling your chain there doll, theres no way in hell she's coming back to check, if I know that Bitch shes going to file away those papers for me, there's no way she'll let them just sit there for who knows how long, and this time next week she'll be harping about something else" beetlejuice stands up and pulls you up with him as he sees you struggling to move in that dress, as you raise to your feet you mumble a thanks.

"You know beej, you really do clean up good, I mean, you look very handsome all dressed up" you smile, now that that two of you were safe, you felt it was the right time to say it.

The purple in the ghoul's hair quickly vanishes at your kind words and is replaced with pink.

"Well you know doll, the tux suits me, but it looks even better on the floor, you'll see on our honeymoon~"

"Is that so?"

"Dont believe me? I'll show ya right now baby~" the ghoul pulls you close pressing his chest against yours, as fun as this little exchange was it came to a halt when you yawned.

"What a way to start a weekend, early and terrified, I think I'm gonna get a few more hours of sleep" you grumbled rubbing your eye "you mind helping me out of this dress?" Beetlejuice goes wide eyed at your question, in a flash his hands were groping for the zipper on your back.

"Naughty minx" he purrs before you swat his hands away

"I ment with magic" you breath out, you may be tired, but your genitals were now wide awake.

Beetlejuice grumbles as he snaps his fingers bringing you back into your pajamas and him in his suit.

"Thank you, I guess this wouldnt be good night, see you in a bit" you shrug as you head to your bedroom to get a few more hours of sleep, you glance back at beetlejuice, who was purple once again, you frown

"Beej do you want to sleep with me? I mean you dont need to sleep, I just thought maybe, you wouldnt want to be alone right now?" After seeing his mother maybe he could use some comfort.

There was a long silence as the demon only stares back at you, you panic

"I'm sorry, that was stupid, I'll just, uh, see you in-" you babble as you spin in your heels eager to get away from this embarrassing situation. Before you could hide away in your bedroom you feel the dicey grip if the demon's hand on your shoulder, and in a deep gravely voice he purrs

"Isn't it normal for a husband and wife to sleep together?~"

you honestly felt a shiver run up your spine.

The ghoul, now only in a pair of boxers has now cuddled up to you his legs intertwined with yours, his arms wrapped around your waist, hand rubbing up and down your back, and head nuzzled into your chest, the demon now pink, purred feeling your hands scratching his scalp, his mother was wrong, you did love him, truly and unconditionally, maybe not now, but soon, he will marry you.

Bonus

It's been days since you met his mother, and it seems like beetlejuice has been back to stop caring about it, but sometimes you see him just staring off into space.

The ghoul had only one thing on his mind, replaying the memory over and over, of you shouting "I REALLY DO WANT TO MARRY HIM!"

#beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader #rambling

206 notes · View notes

massivetyrantduck · 3 years

Conversation

We're back! Incorrect quotes part 3 let's go

Warriors, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Steam(im experimenting with names for him): *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*

Legend: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*

Hyrule: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*

Warriors: I hate all of you.

Steam: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Legend: Not by the law!

First: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Wind , nodding: Knife Monopoly.

First: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Twilight: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Legend: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

Sky: Fuck you.

First, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??

First, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Time: Wake me up-

Steam: Before you go go

Wild: When September ends

Warriors: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Time: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Wild: Bet you I can!

Steam: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

Time: Guys where did Wild go?

Twilight: They got arrested.

Time: How the hell-

Wild: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Wind : I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Hyrule: Sky is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Wind .

Sky: I feel like Wind is the more responsible one of us two though.

Wind : We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Sky: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Wind : Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?

Time: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

Legend: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Twilight: So... what’s goin’ on?

Steam: You want the long version or the short version?

Twilight, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?

Steam: Shit’s fucked.

Twilight: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

Hyrule: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

Time: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.

Hyrule: Cool.

Time: Do you know who Joe is?

Hyrule: JOE MAMA!

Wind , not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

Time: I have an idea.

First: A good idea?

Time: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Legend: We’re about to do the tazer challenge. You want in?

Twilight: What's the tazer challenge?

Steam: We taze eachother, then drink. (no Steam my hc is that ur 17 and my hc is drinking age in hyrule is 18 dont underage drink)

Twilight: How do you win?

Legend: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

Warriors: Do you have a bobby pin?

First: Yeah. *searches in their hair*

First: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.

First: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.

Steam: way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

Time: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Hyrule: Mine just says "Hyrule no."

Time: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Twilight, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Legend: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Hyrule: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.

Legend: ...Don’t you mean benevolence?

Hyrule: No.

Legend: *proud mentor noises*

Legend: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Wind : I don't want your advice.

Legend: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Hyrule: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Hyrule: That's why I own TEN guns.

Hyrule: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

Time: Stressed.

Four: Depressed.

Twilight: Possessed.

First: Obsessed.

Wind : Impressed.

Warriors: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Warriors: I just wanted to join in.

Hyrule: Good morning.

Wind : Good morning.

Wild: Good morning.

Warriors: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Four: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

Warriors: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

Four(Blue and Vio): BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.

Time: That is not something you actually have installed.

Four: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Time: If I run and leap at First, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Time, running towards First: Coming in!

First: No! I’m holding coffee!

First: *Drops coffee and catches Time*

Time: You know you can die from that, right?

Sky: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.

Wind : *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.

Legend: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

#linked universe #lu four #lu wild #lu time #lu legend #lu wind #lu sky #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu hyrule #lu first #lu spirit #lu incorrect quotes #incorrect lu quotes

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mde1011 · 3 years

Text

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 14 first part

(RR The Untamed Masterpost) (Canary’s Pinboard - more Masterposts)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Murder Turtle, Continued

Lan Wangji wakes up after a good night's sleep leaning against a rock wall, to find that his leg is no longer splinted, and his perfectly clean and unbloody headband has been put back on his head while he was sleeping.

Leaving aside the "not waking up" part of things, how, exactly, did Wei Wuxian get his headband on without mussing his hair? Did he bring a crochet hook?

Wei Wuxian gives him a sitrep and then they cozy up and have an extended conversation about the nature and history of the Tortoise of Slaughter. Wei Wuxian is interested in everything Lan Wangji has to say, and Lan Wangji talks a lot more than usual; they are completely on the same wavelength here and are enjoying swapping obscure knowledge.

Lan Wangji: My lacerated leg and I are actually super aware that it has big teeth, but thanks for the reminder.

In the course of the conversation, Wei Wuxian mentions his plan to 1. sneak into the tortoise's shell and 2. drive it out of its shell so they can attack it.

OP did a little tortoise research and learned that the only species of turtle that can leave its shell is the Koopa Troopa.

Good news for Wei Wuxian: If you jump on its shell in the right spot, you can rack up a pile of extra lives.

Does that make the Tortoise of Slaughter a giant Koopa Troopa? Perhaps...the king of the Koopa Troopas?

I'm gonna say yes.

(More after the cut)

Let’s Go Killing

Wei Wuxian is exhilarated by the idea of fighting a giant dangerous monster with Lan Wangji. Some day Wei Wuxian will found the Nike clan, because his motto is definitely "Just do it."

It's sweet how, in his romantic notions about chivalry and Lan Wangji, he's completely elided the original reason they were (sort of) told to venture together.

Wei Wuxian: I'm still on the "find the Yin Iron" quest; I'm just skipping the "suppress it" part.

Wei Wuxian weighs up their chances against Bowser and tells Lan Wangji that even if they die, it will be badass to be killed by a famous monster, so they won't have to feel embarrassed.

This is the exact moment that Lan Wangji's feelings for Wei Wuxian go from "smitten" to "gagging for it."

Lan Wangji: as soon as we get out of here I'm going to borrow a whole lot of books from Nie Huaisang

The boys come up with a plan that involves a rather long montage of collecting archery equipment and deconstructing it. This potentially-dull montage is fun to watch because they are both very, very good looking.

Artists who want to draw Wang Yibo as an elven archer, this is your episode.

Now we suddenly have, with zero explanation, telepathy. Ok, sure. It seems to work kind of like a phone conversation, in which they say specific things to each other, rather than like Cherry Magic telepathy where you can hear everything the other person is thinking. Or at least, neither of them is embarrassed, so I assume they are maintaining some mental privacy.

Club Ruohan

Same, Wen Chao, same

At some point there is a boring sequence at Club Ruohan. Wen Ruohan doesn't know where Xue Yang is, but really wants his hunk of Yin Iron. Wen Chao thinks that WRH's 3 pieces of Yin Iron should be able to beat Xue Yang's 1 piece, but apparently he is dumb and that is not how math works. O...kay? OP does not understand this either but whatever, Wen Ruohan is boring, moving on. This scene is really just here to make us think about Yin Iron before Wei Wuxian jumps into Bowser's shell.

Bigger On The Inside

So then Wei Wuxian climbs into Bowser's shell, which is, to quote The 12th Doctor, bigger on the inside.

Bowser’s shell is the approximate size of my entire house. It is also bathed in a hellish pure red photo filter, which OP has done her best to remove for these gifs, because it gives me eye strain and it obscures Xiao Zhan's hotness.

Camera Operator: What did I do?

Wei Wuxian wanders around inside, finding random corpses encased in slime cocoons. Tortoise, spider, xenomorph, whatever. There are also random curtain things hanging all over, and then at one point Wei Wuxian stares into the face of a corpse, and then does a jump scare response at the camera operator even though nothing particular happened.

I imagine the corpse was supposed to open its eyes and say "killl meeee" but it got censored. He also makes about 8 other faces at the camera operator, so we get that the inside of this TARDIS-like tortoise shell (must...resist...temptation...to...say...TORDIS) is yucky.

Lan Wangji waits outside listening to Wei Wuxian telepathically complain about the smell. He is anxiously clenching a bundle of string and an arrow, and wishing he could clench Wei Wuxian Bichen instead.

Serendipitous Yin Iron

Wei Wuxian backs his way through the TORDIS until his butt bumps into a sword that is steaming with resentful energy. That's right: Wei Wuxian is about to pull a piece of Yin Iron almost literally out of his ass.

He grabs it and is overwhelmed by its screaming resentful energy and has to let it go again.

So this is what a vibrator with 4 batteries feels like

When Bowser comes looking for him, however, he quickly decides to go for it, grabbing the sword and singing "I've Got the Power (Gonna Make You Sweat)"

Wei Wuxian plunges the sword into Bowser's lower jaw, and Bowser pulls his entire head out of his shell with Wei Wuxian attached, while leaving the rest of his body and all rational laws of physics inside the shell.

Gamera Versus the Cultivators

What follows is one of the more ridiculous action sequences in the history of the world, and I say that as someone who likes Mothra movies.

Wei Wuxian hovers in a perfect horizontal plank while “hanging from” the sword, which is held well below the level of his torso. While Bowser spins him around. For much of the time, Bowser keeps his head still and just waves his neck around.

Lan Wangji and the camera operator do everything they possibly can to make "guy pulls on string" look interesting.

Everybody tries really, really hard and the actors are great at pretending something is there when it isn't, but this whole sequence is just horribly conceived.

What works well, though, is the Yin energy and Wei Wuxian's wrangling of it. He starts off being frightened and overwhelmed, and looking like it's too much for him; I dont' know if they made his face puffy on purpose or if that's just what happens when you spend days hanging from the ceiling fighting an imaginary monster. But he looks slack and unwell as he grapples with the iron sword.

Which makes this moment, when he gets control of it, deliciously creepy. He uses the power of the Yin Iron to stick a bunch of pokey things into Bowser's neck.

Lan Wangji has seen him struggling and now sees him...not struggling. Which scares the piss out of him, and he moves to finish the fight as quickly as possible, slicing up his hand and breaking the string. Combined with the pokey things, this does the trick and Bowser dies while Wei Wuxian faints and falls into the water.

Do the Whumpty Whump

Lan Wangji rescues him and wakes him up, and Wei Wuxian clutches the Yin Iron sword and tells Lan Wangji that he was knocked out by the screaming of disembodied voices.

This certainly sounds like a strange and dangerous phenomenon, so Lan Wangji carefully asks him to explain everything.

Ha ha ha j/k. Lan Wangji asks him exactly nothing about the strange sword or the black smoke or his weird evil smile or his new power over pointy objects. Lan Wangji appears to have a Star Trek: TNG level of unconcern about strange phenomena happening directly under his nose. But in fact he has noticed what's up, which is why he will be instantly distressed when he sees Wei Wuxian's flute moves at the Wen Corporate Headquarters.

Wei Wuxian has a fever (stay positive test negative) and comments on Lan Wangji's being so nice to him.

Wei Wuxian: I could never have imagined Lan Er Gongzi acting this concerned about me. Lan Wangji: what else have you never imagined me doing, while we're on the subject?

Lan Wangji transfers a stream of spiritual energy to him. Lan Wangji has so much spiritual power he can be a battery for Wei Wuxian without breaking a sweat or, like, noticing whether Wei Wuxian has a golden core or not, for that matter.

Wei Wuxian basks in the nice feeling of gigajoules for a while but then decides he's bored. So then he pouts, whines, and cajoles Lan Wangji in exactly, EXACTLY the way he whines at Jiang Yanli. I think this, while annoying of him, is a leap forward in his relationship with Lan Wangji.

He's letting his guard down and not just allowing Lan Wangji to take care of him; he's demanding to be cared for on multiple vectors, when he asks the guy who's already busy healing him to sing to him as well.

Lan Wangji obliges, singing him the song he composed about their love cultivation journey, while Wei Wuxian (or possibly Lan Wangji) (or possibly both) has a flashback to assorted sexy interactions that they've had so far.

Wei Wuxian memorizes the song perfectly on one hearing, before passing out.

Writing Prompt: Baldur’s Gate III / Untamed Crossover AU featuring elf archer Lan Wangji

I DARE YOU

Soundtrack: 1. Everybody Dance Now by C+C Music Factory 2. Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

Wei Wuxian fainting tally (cumulative): 3

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #the untamed spoilers #restless rewatch the untamed #my gifs #canary3d-original #asian whump

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ringmyheart · 3 years

Note

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

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hcywards · 4 years

Text

comfort crowd — jj maybank

summary: jj maybank just needed someone around

words: 1.6k+

t/w: kissing, swearing, death and murder references, underage drinking, drug use, implied sex

note: gracie posting about someone other than jj? whats that, i dont know her

This hurt that I’m holding’s getting heavy

But I’mma keep a smile on my shoulders ‘til I’m sweaty

Begging on my knees

Screamin’, someone come help me

But by the time that they’re there

I’ve already hid the body

“I was gonna kill him, Y/N, I swear I was gonna do it!” the boy stood inside the hot tub cried, his voice broken and his eyes wide. Tears streamed down his cheeks in a waterfall of anger, sadness and all of the words between. “I held a gun to his head — a fucking gun, Y/N!”

“JJ, it’s okay,” she tried to soothe, stripping herself of her shorts and shirt and stepping into the hot tub with him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her head against his and feeling the cold wetness of where his tears had been running. He shuddered in her grasp, arms wrapping around her waist weakly as he cried into her hair. She ran her fingers over his bare skin in soothing patterns, but that only made him sob more; Y/N’s heart hurt a thousand times more, because it was the comfort he wasn’t used to, the comfort he needed.

“No, it’s fucking not, Y/N.” he mumbled. “I could’ve killed him — that makes me so much worse than him. I just— I just can’t take it anymore.”

“JJ, it’s okay. You didn’t do it, that’s what matters, alright?” she whispered. “We’ll run away to Yucatan, yeah? You won’t have to use the gun, and your dad’ll never find us. Think about how calm we’ll be, JJ.”

He nodded, taking a deep breath. He knew what she was doing. This was what she always did when she wanted him to calm down. They’d been talking about Yucatan since they were kids, when they thought that running away would bring them a better life; they knew different, now, but that didn’t matter, because all JJ needed was to hear her voice.

And Yucatan with Y/N sounded incredible — even though they’d undoubtedly die if they went with as little money as they had now, it would be the time of his life, because she was his best friend, his rock, and she could make everything and anything seem fine.

That was one of the many reasons why he was absolutely, head-over-heels in love with her — she was the only one who could calm him down when he got like this. She was the one he called, the one who’s window he climbed through at three in the morning, the one who could see the second something had happened and the one who wasn’t afraid to come and pick him up and take him back to her place if she felt even slightly suspicious his dad had lashed out again.

My breath’s getting short and I’m unsteady

Wellin’ up in tears as I lay upon your belly

Tellin’ you I’m fine

I don’t really need nobody

But you say through a sigh

That I said that lie already

“Okay,” he let out after a moment, raising a hand from her waist to wipe a tear away from his cheek. “Okay, I’m fine, you can—” His voice broke, a dead giveaway that he was lying, but he continued on anyway, not wanting to be any more of a burden than he already was. He already had a suspicion that she was growing tired of his constant calling, and he didn’t know what he’d do if she told him she didn’t want to be his person anymore— “You can go home, go to sleep.”

She shook her head, looking up at him with a knowing expression swimming in her big eyes. His throat constricted just looking at her, knowing he was stupid for ever thinking he could lie to her. “JJ, you’ve told me that a million times before. I’m not going home, okay?”

He smiled gratefully, despite the guilt pooling in his gut, and lead her to sit down on the seat of the hot tub with him, unsure whether it was the steam turning to water or tears on his face.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and Y/N could only not, too busy trying not to cry at the sencerity and shock and the plethora of other emotions she could hear in his weak, raspy voice.

“Always, JJ,” she soothed, grabbing a champagne flute and downing the whole thing before handing another to JJ, who took it gratefully.

This was a tradition for the two — JJ would cry, show her her bruises, she’d hug him, calm him down, and then they’d get drunk and high off of their asses so that they could forget. Sure, it might not’ve been a healthy way to deal with it, but it worked, and that was all that they needed.

I just needed company now

Yeah, I just needed someone around

Yeah, I don’t care what song that we play

Or mess that we make

Just company now

Comfort crowd

Y/N was JJ’s biggest comfort, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind about that. As they sat there, smoking, drinking, crying and laughing, with some unheard of song playing in the background, it was pretty obvious. The contrast between how he’d felt twenty minutes ago and how he felt then was immense, and it wasn’t just the drugs doing that to him.

Somehow, she managed to take the pain out of his heavily bruised ribs, the pounding out of his head, the stabbing out of his heart and the self doubt out of his brain, all just by being there, and he was certain he’d either be dead, in jail or a murderer if he’d never met her.

She laughed at something, and he grinned, putting an arm around her shoulders and sipping some more champagne. The sound of her laughter made him forget why she was even there, and, wanting to hear it again, he joked: “You know, this’d feel great if we were skinny dipping.”

She laughed again, feeling drunk already as she slurred out: “Shut up, JJ.”

JJ threw his hands up in defence. “What? It would!”

She howled at that, taking his hand and pulling his arm around her bare shoulders again, resting her head back on his skin and smiling at him.

“I love you, J, do you know that?” she asked, and JJ couldn’t hear a single hint of it not being the truth in her voice, causing a grin to break out on his face. “You don’t deserve any of this.”

“Of course you love me, Y/N, I’m irresistible,” he managed to get out without breaking down at her words, the words he so wished he could hear from his father.

“I’m being serious, JJ,” she stated, and his joking grin slipped to a geniune, happy smile.

He nodded. “I know, and I love you too, Y/N.”

We rot, thinkin’ lots about nothing

Yeah, I could spend a lifetime

Sitting here talkin’

And even if I cry all over your body

You don’t really mind

Say you like your shirt soggy

“Hey, do you reckon plants feel emotions?” JJ asked suddenly, looking up at the dark sky, framed perfectly by the soft yellow lights strung across the trees. “Like, because they’re alive, and everything.”

Y/N pondered for a moment, grinning at the question. “No, but did you know that the smell of cut grass is the grass telling the other grass to save itself? Also, do you think pigeons are real?”

JJ snorted at that, “Uh, yeah, duh.” Y/N just shrugged, smiling and awaiting another weed-fuelled question. It never came, though — instead, JJ pressed his lips onto her forehead softly, before she cupped his jaw in her hands and pulled his lips to meet hers.

She wasn’t sure what this was. It could’ve been him seeking comfort in a friend, it could’ve been alcohol, or weed. It could’ve been his less than normal mental state, or his emotions raging, but she knew she liked it. And, judging by the way he so eagerly kissed her back, pulling her onto his lap and gripping her by the waist, he liked it, too.

Yeah, I just needed company now

Yeah, I just needed someone around

Yeah, I don’t care what song that we play

Or mess that we make

Just company now

Comfort crowd

Y/N stayed at his house overnight, having moved from the hot tub to the bedroom at some point. Her head pounded as she woke up, a stark reminder of the many bottles of champagne they’d had that night, but she laughed when she saw JJ walk in to his bedroom with a pained expression contorting his features at the headache he was obviously also experiencing. His hair was all over the place, and there were now red hickeys mixed in with the bruises coating his chest, but, despite how bad he looked, he managed a grin.

“Yeah, you don’t look too great yourself, princess,” he responded jokingly, passsing her a glass of water which she took gratefully, swallowing down the pill he’d handed alongside it.

She stood up to get dressed, stumbling into him on shaky legs as she did so, causing another laugh to erupt from the boy. She started laughing, too, resting her head on her shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back, and, unlike the hug they’d shared only a few hours prior, this one was happy, both laughing rather than crying.

We mess around

And laugh too loud

And make the sounds

We try to hide when people are around

By blood we’re bound

Through ups and downs

Through smiles and pouts

Comfort crowd

You can always count on

“Thank you for being here, Y/N,” he said once their laughter had finally subsided, and she grinned into his shoulder — the shoulder she’d been biting into less than six hours ago.

“Of course, JJ,” she responded. “You’re my best friend.”

“You don’t understand how much I love you, Y/N.”

“I think I do, JJ.”

Yeah, I just needed company now

Yeah, I just needed someone around

Yeah, I don’t care what song that we play

Or mess that we make

Just company now

Comfort crowd

taglist! there is a form in my description if you would like to be added!

@thorsangel @dpaccione @ceruleanjj @thatsonobx @spilledtee @supremestarkey @babypogue @sadcupofcoffee @sacredto @poguemacking @outrbank @ilovejjmaybank @calumbroutledge @headedfortheopendoors @thelocalpogue @decap-quadrant @everydayimfangirling @raekenliar @jayjaymaebank @apoguecalledjj

#jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #obx jj #outer banks imagine #outer banks #outer banks x reader #obx imagine #obx x reader #obx #popcsheywards

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goodomens-goodomenseverywhere · 3 years

Text

BIG FUCKIN LOKI EP 5 THOUGHTS (spoilers ahead…obviously)

-big smoke babey???

-Sylvie's curly hair 🥺🥺🥺

-judge renslayer I don’t fuckin trust you one goddamn bit

-WHY WOULD SHE FICKING TRUST YOU FUCK YOU

-alligator Loki is everything to me

-"All I know is I got pruned and I woke up here, and now I’m surrounded by variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange” I LOVE YOUFJENDK

- I am in love with alligator loki

-buff Loki sarcastic ALSO HOLY SHIT???? KID LOKI FUCKIN KILLED THOR?? KESUS FUCKING CHRIST

-TINY THORNSCJSKDJ

-”why do you want to return to the TVA”

“Did you leave your glorious purpose there?” JFKSKFKD GOT EM

-tHEY JUST CONVENIENTLY HAVE A VOID SOACECRAFT LYING AROUND OKAY BITCH GOOD FUCKIN TIMING RAVONNA

-fuckin called it bitch

-"do you have any good memories?” Fuck you ravonna

-HOLY SHIT SHE PRUNED HERSELF

-marvel if you pull this selfcest bs when Loki and Sylvia reunite I’ll go rabid

-HAPPY GIGGLE ALLOGATOR LOKI IN POOL

-AALOGATOR LOKI ATE THE BEIGHBORS CATDKSJCKSJ

-classic Loki is the only smart bitch

-so….Loki’s timeline continues? HE SIRVIVES AFTER INFINITY WAR???

-Loki:*rousing speech*

The other Lokis: no ❤️

-okay so what’s the beef between these Loki groups

-THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL WHATD SHE DO

-is it mobius

-pls tell me it’s mobius

-ITS MOVIUS ITS MOBIUS ITS MOBIUS IM GONNA CRY ITS MY BOY

-I’m crying real tears i haven’t felt this much serotonin since I watched Save The Cat from shera s5 I had to stand up and walk around my house but I can’t DO THAT BECAUSE ITS 3 am

-I walked around my room I had to pause for a bit

-moving on

-“you should be careful just jumping into a strangers car like that” I LOVE YOU YOU FUCKIN BASTARD

-“watch out!”

“I see it I see it”

“Really because you’re driving RIGHT towards it”

“God you really are one of you”

-THE MONIUS/SYLVIE INTERACTION IVE BEEN CRAVING

-loki veing super fucking done with his own variants is SO FUNNY

-TBEY JUST KEEP BACKSTABBING WACH TOHERRKDIFJSJ

-"WHY RHE HELL IS THERE AN ALLIGATOR IN HERE"

"HES A LOKI"

-HE BIT OFD HIS FUCKING HANDKFODKCKS

-KID LOKI HOLDING ALLIGATOR LOKI LIKE A BABYYYYY

-our Loki trying ro sneak out of the Loki brawl

-"and whenever one of us dares to fix ourselves they send us here to die" cries?? Ur so little

-sylvie I love u but girl

-"cmon Mobius let's just drive into the thing that EATS MATTER"

-"just bc its not complicated dossnt mwan it's bad"

"doesn't mean it's good"

-THE ALLIHATIE IS PRAYINGDJCKSJD

-did the tva ORUNE THE SHIO???

-better yet did they ARRESTTHE SHIP??

-many questions

-REUNION EEUNION LOKIUS REUNION

-IM GONNA CRY

-I LOVW RHEM

-CRIWS

-"US AS AN ALLIGATOE"

-ALL QUESTIONING THEIR PLANSJCISJFKS

-sylvje being like "oh my God THAY was your plan"

-mobius I love you

-I wanted a better ruinion marvel I better get SOMETHINF

-UR TELLING ME LOKI ALMOST CRIED WHEN MOBIUS WAS ORUNED AND HE JUST GIVES HIM A HALF ASSED 'MOBIUS!' WHEN HE SEES HIM AGAIN??? OKAY

-ravonna what r u up to

-B-15 NOOO

-I want more b-15 content

-also she's hot

-ur telling me Mobius read about literally everything Loki related and doesn't remember the ALIGATOR???

-I am loving the Lokis and Mobius interactions

-questioning alligator Loki on whether or not he's Loki

-"HE CARWS ABOUT YOU" LOKIUS??

-pls dont

-pls dont share the blanket

-okay cool no selfcest

-pls

-this is awkwaed

-FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS

-God pls just admit you're friends

-theyre sharing the blanket OK fine

-judging his blanket conjuring skills I see

-i am actually appreciating the friendly nudges I do want them to be close

-nebermind I take it back

-THE DAEK ASTERRRRR

-HEY BITCH

-sylvie I believe in you

-loki you stupid bitch

-WE'RE SPLIRTING UP LOKI AND MOBIUS AGAIN?? HOMOPHOBES

-im mad

-I better see more of them I STG ILL GO FERAL

-HUG HUG HUG

-THEY HUGGED I'M GONNA CRY BUT STILL

-HE CALLED MOBIUS 'MY FRIEND' GOODBYE

-I LOVE THEM

-sob

-stilk mad abour them splitting up

-alioth is baby right? Can we all agree?

-loki if u sacrficie yourself

-bitch

-OMG AZIRAPHALE MOMENT

-FLAMINH SWORD???

-hot

-SO FUCKING TRUE CLASSIC LOKI LOVE U BITCH

-HW JUST CREATED AN ENTIRE ASGADD ILLUSION

-LOKI I BELIEVE IN U

-NOOOO DONR EAT CLASSIC LOKI

-OH HES HELPING??

-ope

-nvm

-GOT EM

-FUCK YEAAHHHHY

-K so what's all this then

#loki spoilers #loki tv #loki episode 5 #loki episode 5 spoilers #MOBIUS #sylvie

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