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thestarsarebrightertonight · 17 days

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cinnamon girl // theodore nott x fem reader

"violet blue green red to keep me at arms length dont work"

playlist : cinnamon girl - lana del rey

summary : everyone knows you have a crush on theo , even he knows! so when you randomly start avoiding him one day , theodore cant help but go crazy.

sunshine reader , y/n used , hufflepuff reader

masterlist

"theo!" you called out happily , running to the boys side and catching his wrist to stop his strides down the corridor, "hi, ive been meaning to talk to you!".

he looked at you , seeming displeased and just grunted in response , turning away and not even looking at your smiling face that admired him so softly.

"so you have a match on saturday and i was just wondering wether i should support you or hufflepuff? i always try and do my best in encouraging you but when youre against my house it becomes difficult-"

"i dont care do whatever." he said simply , finally turning to look back at you with an annoyed face.

your expression dropped for a split second , a moment so small it was hardly detectable but for that single second your smile dropped completely. and theo noticed. he thought that was probably the first time in your whole life youve stopped smiling. and the first time youve dropped your delicate hold on his wrist.

but you quickly regained composure , smiling up at him although not as sweetly as before , it almost seemed strained this time , "right , thats fine. ill just see what i can do closer to the time. bye theodore"

theodore. ouch. theo watched as you walked away silently , not turning back at all. he tried not to read too much into you , he didnt want to think he cared enough to, but hearing you call him by his full name and not theo? he hated to admit it stung a little more than he thought it would.

----

"hey!" you said enthusiatically as you sat down besides your close friend hannah , she looked up from the desk and greeted you back.

usually in charms you found yourself sat besides her , talking all lesson or admiring theodore , but you could help but avoid his side of the room like its the plague.

the plague being the pretty ravenclaw girl that for some reason was sat next to him as they discussed something civilly. usually theo sat with mattheo or alone since mattheo wasnt regularly spotted in charms , so to see him sat next to a girl youve never seen him with? you felt your heart shatter right onto the ground around you.

"y/n? are you listening?" hannah tried to ask you until she followed where you stared and saw theodore with the ravenclaw , "oh".

you nodded besides her , forcing a tight smile onto your lips and finally dragging your eyes from them , "its fine , everyone knows he doesnt like me back, i guess i was just in denial about it."

hannah saddened at the forced laugh that you let out , pulling you into a hug and rubbing your back , "he was never good enough for you anyways. youre a whole galaxy and theodore nott is the moon , nothing compared to you."

"i love the moon," you said softly as your eyes began to well up with tears.

hannah pulled back and scanned the room before grabbing your hand , "professor flitwick isnt here yet , leave now and if he asks ill say you were sick. go to our dorms and ill get snacks from the kitchen and we can stay in tonight , sound good?"

you smiled happily at her , "thank you hannah"

she returned the smile with a light nod before handing you your bag and shooing you away , watching as you left the classroom hastily.

failing to feel theos eyes that burned into your fleeting figure.

---

the next few days were odd for theodore nott. something felt missing but he couldnt quite place his finger on it...

that was until he made eye contact with you in the hall and watched in suprise as you looked away and practically sprinted down the corridor , rather than coming up to him with a bright small and a new topic to rant about.

and he didnt like it. not one bit.

for the rest of the week he picked up on the things that you did - or didnt do.

how your smile would drop when you made eye contact with theodore. how youd talk happily to lorenzo and then make an excuse to leave as soon as theo tried to join the coversation. how you stopped sitting next to him in potions and instead sat with hermione , chatting away to her and not noticing the glare theodore sent towards the both of you.

but the one thing that pushed him over the edge was when he flew out onto the quidditch pitch and immediately searched for you in the stands , only to spot you waving at diggory , wearing his jersey?!

theodore had never felt jealous before -lies- but in that moment he held onto his broom a lot harder than before , his whole body felt hotter and his eyes glared holes into cedric diggorys back.

lets just say that throughout the match he made sure to shove diggory with every chance he got , eventhough none of it was necessary as they had completely different roles in the game.

"nott get off diggorys fucking broom and do your job!" adrian shouted at him from across the pitch , making theodore roll his eyes before giving cedric a last shove and flying away.

from the stands you watched theodore in confusion ,along with the rest of the audience , staring as he yet again flew in the path of cedric and shoved him to the side before contiuing to chase the hufflepuff chaser.

"it seems like nott is more concered in giving the golden boy diggory a good push rather than actually fulfilling his job , typical slytherins playing dirty in my opinion-" lees comentating was cut off by professor mcgonagall clearing her throat , "sorry professor."

----

the match had ended and purely because of the rest of the slytherin team , they won , however the poor performance of theodore threw the whole teams goal points off.

"what the fuck is wrong with you theodore!?" draco shouted as the team entered the changing tents , "if i hadnt gotten that golden snitch we wouldve lost AND been the comedic relief of all the other houses!"

theodore let out a heavy sigh before sitting down on one of the benches with his head in his hands , pulling his hair aggresively, "shove off malfoy im not in the mood".

"all this because of some hufflepuff mudblood wearing diggorys jersey-" draco started again , before being pushing harshly by a now infuriated theodore.

"the FUCK did you say malfoy?!" theo screamed in his face , being pulled away by lorenzo who tried to calm the situation.

"guys we won and thats all that matters!" enzo tried to reason with the furious boys.

"barley , berkshire! theo over here nearly fucked everything up because of childish jealousy!" draco shouted back , venom dripping off his words.

"who said i was fucking jealous?" theo shouted back as majority of the team turned to him with disbelief.

"you nearly dropped the quaffle twice because you were too busy figuring out how you could shove cedric on the way to the goalhoops-" mattheo started before being cut off by the curtain of the tent being pulled back.

revealing a girl covered in bright yellow , covering her eyes and trying to walk into the tent without falling, "c-can i look?".

the whole tent gaped in shock before lorenzo finally spoke up , "yeah..yeah you can look y/n dont worry."

you quickly uncovered your eyes and blinked as they adjusted to the light , looking at the scene before you which showed theodore being held back from draco by lorenzo and a disapproving mattheo stood in front of the lockers.

"theodore what are you-" you started before being cut off by the boy shaking his head rapidly.

"stop - stop calling me theodore i cant stand when you call me that."

you stared in suprise as theodore shrugged off lorenzos hands and walked over to you, this was possibly the most emotion the boy had shown to you.

"oh uh right sorry , i just wanted to say well done for the match. i was rooting for hufflepuff but there isnt any other team that deserve it more than you guys!" you smiled awkwardly as the team thanked you a short silence following , "anyways , theres a certain hufflepuff thats a bit gutted about his loss so im gonna-"

"diggory?" theo asked with a sour tone as he stepped closer to you , not breaking eye contact.

"yeah , hes upset but i said if he lost id make him a crochet blanket to make him feel better so-"

"but you only make me crochet things." theodore said coldly as you stuttered again , unfamiliar with this behaviour from theo.

"ha , yeah i do but um , i didnt think you liked them so i thought id just put my efforts elsewhere!" you laughed awkwardly.

"the blanket you made him's on his bed , he takes it home aswell because he cant sleep without it-" mattheos teasing was cut off by a sharp glare from theo.

"shut up riddle!" theo seethed before turning back to you.

"no dont be embarassed theo - its nice to know you love it!" you said , finally regaining a comfort in theos presence at this news.

"i love you." he stated simply as the whole room fell into a dead silence.

your mouth hung wide open , as did his teamates before they were ushered out of the room by enzo , your moment with theo requiring the upmost privacy.

"you- you what?!" you asked in pure shock as the final player exited the tent.

"i love you," theo stated again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"but- but you like hate me , you dont even reply when i talk or smile at me-" you ranted.

"youre right, i hate you. i hate how you love me more than anyone else has before you... i hate your hair and your perfect smile.... and i despise how you make me feel," he stepped so close that your bodies touched and his hand rested on your cheek firmly , "but theres a very thin line between love and hate."

you gaped up at him in suprise , "theo-"

he quickly took a step back and walked to his locker , pulling out a top, more specifically his jersey that he now handed to you.

"take that god awful jersey off i dont think i can handle looking at it for one more second" he said bitterly , staring down at the yellow top you wore with distaste.

"i love you too." you said , still frozen in place and staring up at him.

"i think everyone knows that princess." he said with a laugh , the first laugh youd heard from him in a long time.

a blush spread to your cheeks , both at his words and the addictive sound of his soft chuckle.

"why have you always ignored me if you love me?" you asked still being slightly unpleased with his random confession.

his smile dropped as he frowned and looked at you sympathetically , "i just thought you were doing it all for fun , maybe to mock me or something. i tried to shut out the fact i like you and it clearly didnt work , i was just ...scared." he confessed in a moment of complete vunerability.

you admired him with care and empathy as he spoke from his heart so purely , before your face cracked into a teasing smile , "you know i wasnt actually rooting for hufflepuff?"

he smirked wrapping arms around your waist and pulling you in closer ,"oh really?"

you nodded and pulled the braid in your hair over your shoulder , to reveal the dark green bow that wrapped around the end of it.

theodore grinned upon seeing this as you both giggled , a sweet first kiss following the heart to heart.

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chamerionwrites · 9 months

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Now and then I have a little giggle when I recall that JJ Abrams made Rey Palpatine's grandkid via some sort of nonsensical cloning plot. It's not the worst thing in the ST but I do think it's emblematic of why it's bad. Signifier without substance. Derivative *and* gutless. Tried to rip off ESB without understanding how the Vader reveal works as a narrative beat, gave Sheev spawn, and didn't even have enough courage of their convictions to admit that he fucks.

Like we all know Vader spent two decades pining gloomily after Padmé. But Palpatine? Sheev Palpatine? The guy whose two modes are smiling smug self-satisfied secret smiles to himself and crowing POWER, UNLIMITED POWER? The guy who cackles with maniacal relish anytime he gets to let his hair down and have a lightsaber fight? That guy is a hedonist. Tell me I'm wrong. That man is at all times enjoying the hell out of being irredeemably evil. He is a literal emperor, the vastly powerful and mostly unchallenged ruler of the galaxy, reveling in a victory he spent many years plotting and scheming for. And they had to invent some half-assed narrative afterthought of a cloning program rather than simply allowing us to assume that at some point in the two+ decades between ROTS and ROTJ, that man got laid? The cowardice. The incompetence. The sheer commitment to taking every conceivable L

#sheev probably fucked somebody on the THRONE #what else was he doing? lounging around the jedi temple and giggling to himself? subjecting vader to awful medical procedures for fun?#he has people to rule the galaxy with an iron fist dude is fully living his best life watching operas and doing lil sith research projects #i'm sorry i just find this SO funny. literally what is the point of the cloning shit except the creators nervously wringing their hands #and assuring us that we don't have to contemplate the evil toad man/walking corpse in bed #COMMIT TO THE BIT COWARDS #obvs i'm being a bit facetious but i'm also not #star wars #palpatine #my posts #also #on writing

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waywardstation · 3 months

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I'm Glad You're Here

It is Akari's sixteenth birthday, and a surprise party is thrown for her. She isn't able to appreciate it as much as she wants to though, and Ingo can tell. Emmet also struggles with facing his first birthday without Ingo, but Elesa is there for him.

HAPPY (VERY LATE) SECOND ANNIVERSARY PLA!! What a wonderful game that has given me many friends and creatively compelled me for more than two years!! I tried to get this out on the date, but lots of things made it very hard to. So now it's out on valentine's day instead, so I'll just excuse it with saying this is my love letter to PLA haha, and it fits with palentine's day, as it contains a lot of appreciating friendships and found family.

I wrote this including three prompts that I had gotten, such as requesting something about Akari or Ingo dealing with their birthdays in Hisui, Ingo and Akari acknowledging the found family dynamic I write them with, and Akari talking a little more about her own family.

OR read it here on AO3!

Enjoy! —————

“Goodnight, Akari!”

“Hope you had fun at your party, Akari!”

“Happy birthday, Akari!”

Standing by the Galaxy Hall’s doors with Ember at her feet, said teen thanked partygoers and bid them goodbye as they trickled out into the chilly autumn night. Protecting themselves from the ongoing rain as best they could, they were quick to make their way down the steps and back to their village homes.

“Oh, Professor! Rei!” Turning away from bidding goodbye to Darego and thanking him for the photos he took, she saw Laventon and Rei were next to leave. “You’re heading out now too?”

“Unfortunately so,” Laventon seemed a bit sheepish, as if apologetic for leaving despite the event having already ended. “Early mornings filled with paperwork are not the most forgiving of late night festivities. Otherwise we’d stay and properly take care of that whole disaster upstairs!”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Akari waved him off with her hand. “I already said Ingo and I would take care of it! Honestly he’s probably already done by now, so it’s fine, you guys can go home! You both already did so much for me tonight with this whole party, anyways; I don’t know how you did it!”

Laventon returned the smile she gave them both with one that was twice as big, seeming very proud with the compliment. “Well it was quite a delight to finally reveal all this, I’ll say; having to keep all of it hidden from you for the last few weeks was by far the hardest part!”

“You did a good job, I had no idea until everyone shouted ‘surprise!’ , honestly.” Akari shrugged her shoulders, giving a little laugh about it. “Thank you for all of this, Professor.”

“You’re most welcome, my dear girl!” Laventon held her in a tight embrace when she stepped forward to give him a farewell hug. “Once again, happy birthday!”

“And Rei, you too; thank you so much for the party,” She next reached out to grab her friend’s arm and pull him into a hug when Laventon stepped aside.

“Well of course-!” He choked out with some strain, crushed in her sturdy grip but doing his best to return the embrace. “You deserved it!”

As the two moved out the door to head back for the night, Laventon gave one last look back, shielding his eyes from the rainfall with one hand. “I hope you have a very good night, we’ll be seeing you tomorrow!”

“Yes, goodnight Akari, happy birthday!” Rei added on, following behind.

“Goodnight, guys!” Akari made a show of waving and bidding them both goodbye, but as Laventon made his way down the steps first, she reached forward and grasped the end of Rei’s scarf, tugging him back.

“Rei, wait!” She whispered, pulling her confused colleague back to her. “Real quick-”

Before he could even protest, Akari reached around behind the Galaxy Hall’s door, and handed him a small woven basket. Holding it out, she waited for him to take it.

“Here, take these. I know the Professor would say no if I tried to give it to him. But it’s for you both, as thanks for putting this whole party together for me.”

Rei studied the basket for a moment. Quickly picking up the sweet smell coming from inside, he put his hands up. “Akari, thank you but we couldn’t take that, those are yours!”

“I know, but please; I love Radisa’s cakes, but I also have a ton of dango from Beni, and Cyllene got me all those imported pastries from the Ginko Guild, and Floaro made me a whole box of muffins…” Akari explained, numbering all the confectioneries with the fingers on one of her hands. “There’s no way I can eat all of them by myself, and I’d rather someone gets to enjoy them rather than let them be wasted!”

“Rei!” Amongst the rain, the professor’s voice called out from down by the units; he’d finally noticed he was gone. “Are you coming?”

Looking back over his shoulder at the call of his name, Akari took the chance to shove the basket into Rei’s hands, to his surprise. “Hey!”

“Uh-oh, yours now!” Akari put her hands behind her back and took a step away from him, a mischievous grin on her face — Rei was now entirely stuck with them. “Guess you gotta take them now!”

“You can’t just- that’s not fair!” Rei seemed stuck between amusement and exasperation as he looked between her and the professor’s direction, caught in the middle of two different options and no proper time to consider them. He shook his head.

“Agh, fine! Thank you for these, Akari, really-” With a free arm, Rei pulled Akari into another quick hug, before whipping around to rush down the steps, protecting the basket as best he could from the rainfall. “Coming, Professor!”

As her colleague made his way down the steps and into the rain, Akari waved him off until he disappeared. Once he was out of sight, the teen’s big smile waned into a more neutral line, and she turned to go back inside the hall. With Ember quick to follow behind as she headed for the staircase, the door closed behind her.

The drizzle continued on.

—————

“Did we miss another spot?”

Ingo glanced over his shoulder from where he stood up on a chair. Akari had entered the otherwise-vacant room, Ember at her heels while she pushed stray paper streamers aside from where they dangled.

“It appears we overlooked the ceiling,” The warden returned to the task at hand, stretching an arm back up to scrub as Akari came near to watch him. “And I’ve overestimated how stubbornly bean paste clings to surfaces once it’s dried. Would you mind holding that bucket up for a moment?”

“Even up there? Man, Beugene really did get it everywhere, didn’t he?” Akari laughed as she retrieved the bucket from the table and held it up to him – she could already hear Beuregard profusely apologizing again to her tomorrow for letting his wurmple get into (then burst out of) her cake. He really could stand to keep a better eye on Beugene, seeing as Miki’s staravia almost flew off with it the other day, but she truely hadn’t been upset at the incident. It had honestly been too impressive seeing just how much cake and paste the little Pokémon had managed to splatter all over the walls, carpet, and guests to feel mad about it.

“Thank you,” Ingo dunked his paste-covered rag into the bucket, wringing the soapy water out generously before going back to work on one last spot. A couple thorough scrapes, and the last of the cake seemed to finally be gone.

Ingo handed the rag back to Akari as she reached out to take it, having already placed the bucket back on the table. She set it aside as the warden took one last look around the room from atop the chair, a final scan. “There. While I wouldn’t be surprised if a Galaxy Team member somehow finds another spot somewhere tomorrow, that should be the last of it.”

“Ok, now get down,” Akari gestured to the floor with one hand while she held the chair with the other. “Don’t want you hurting your old man back.”

“I’m not that old,” Ingo played along with her teasing as he always did. But regardless, he began to step down with a soft grunt that did suggest some tightness, at the very least.

Normally, Akari would have pursued it with more of her usual teasing, like asking how old he really was then — he always came up with something funny when she asked that. But she knew he didn’t really remember his age. And yes, he always said it didn’t bother him in the grand scheme of things. But reminding him he didn’t have that right after they had finished celebrating her sixteenth birthday felt uncomfortable, especially considering he didn’t remember his own birth date either. So she left it there this time, watching him get down.

“Well, exploding cake and its messy aftermath aside, I’d say your party was quite a success; what an array of festivities we had tonight!” With his feet back on the ground, Ingo sang his praises as he set the chair back where it belonged against the wall. “I’m glad to see the sudden rain didn’t dampen the mood; it’s good the professor had opted for an indoor celebration! I do hope you had a good time and enjoyed yourself.”

“Yeah,” Akari began to pick the few remaining scraps of colorful paper out of the carpet, though with a contradictory tone. “I did! It was really nice tonight.”

Ingo’s frown tugged slightly. He pulled down a bundle of streamers and crumpled them together, but he kept a careful eye on her. “…It was all alright, wasn’t it? Because I can understand if the whole, well, cake incident is still upsetting, what with no one actually being able to have any.”

“No, no-” Akari waved it off and turned away from him as Ember handed her a mouthful of paper she had picked up herself, though it also felt avoidant in nature. “Sorry, no, it’s not that. Really, that didn’t bother me! I’m just tired, I guess. It was a really late party!”

Ingo didn’t quite buy it with the way his features held tight. “Well then, that makes two of us I suppose.”

A couple times tonight near the party’s end, he had wondered if something was bothering her. It surely seemed so, but asking unobtrusive questions and gently inquiring if certain things were ok had come up with nothing but reassurances. But still, something felt wrong. As the evening went on, Ingo had been suspecting it went a little deeper.

And when the teen asked if he could possibly stay back and help her clean up, he was afraid it went even deeper than he initially suspected. Like, displaced-person-problems deep. Something he would come the closest to understanding out of everyone here. It was her birthday today after all, being spent in a time period she didn’t belong to. He could easily see it being a day of conflicting emotions, if that was the problem.

But Ingo didn’t know if Akari was simply seeking company from him, or conversation. And if it was as personal as he thought it was, he would never ask about it before she was ready. So for now, he would stick to the former, but he was prepared for the latter if she asked for it.

“Ok, I think that’s all of it.” cramming the last of the colorful paper scraps into a wad, Akari dropped the last of it into a bucket they’d been using for trash. Besides a table standing a little crooked, and a few chairs a little out of line against the wall, it seemed they had restored it to its previously-clean, empty state. “Thanks for staying after to help out, Ingo.”

“I was happy I could be of service,” Picking up the scraps-filled bucket and stuffing the streamers into it, Ingo went for the doorway and stood at the exit. “Before I dispose of this and depart, is there anything else you’d like any assistance with?”

Another chance for her to get out what was clearly weighing on her. But only if she wanted to. Grey eyes patiently watched her as she looked off to the side, clearly considering what to say.

“Um. I’ve got like, a ton of gifts downstairs.” Akari pointed down, in general reference to the floor below. “Would you be able to help me take them back to my unit? Normally I wouldn’t mind a couple trips, but the rain…”

Ingo gave her a flat-lined smile. “Not a problem at all. I’d be happy to help you carry the extra cargo.”

–––––

The drizzle was there to greet them all when Ingo pushed one of the Galaxy Hall’s doors open with his back, holding it open as Akari and Ember hurried out. Carefully going down the slippery steps, they hurried down the empty street to the teen’s unit, burdened with various birthday presents.

“Quiw!” Ember reached the door first, and eager to get out of the rain, squeezed through the moment Akari opened it by a crack. To the teen’s dismay, her Pokémon began shaking the freezing rain out of her fur with a vicious full-body shake.

“Ember, no! You’re supposed to do that outside!” Akari scolded the quilava as she opened the door the rest of the way, but she already seemed resigned to the fact she’d have to dry the floor and walls off later. She opened up her damp blue hanten, now bulging considerably with boxy shapes, to quickly remove the gifts she had sheltered inside it. At least they were still dry.

Ingo stepped into the doorway after her, holding his own similarly-bulging coat closed around the rest of the gifts. Akari retrieved a towel and began to chase after a protesting Ember with it as the warden placed her presents down near the door, but he then stepped back out to wait under the unit’s eave. He wanted to minimize how much rain he tracked inside – he wouldn’t add to the trails of puddles that Akari and Ember were currently leaving all across the floor.

“Ember! You’re dripping everywhere!”

“Qwill!”

Akari was completely absorbed in catching her Pokémon, Ingo could see. He supposed part of him had been curious if she had wanted him to come with her so she could share what had been bothering her – maybe she just hadn’t wanted to say anything at the party, which was understandable.

But now he supposed not, and that was ok. Maybe she’d share another day. Or maybe not at all. But regardless, he had given enough openings for it, so it was now entirely up to her on if she wanted to share or not.

“Well,” Ingo cleared his throat, “I suppose I should get going then, and leave you two to enjoy the rest of your night.” He pulled his cap down further over his eyes in anticipation of going back out into the rainfall. “But I’d like to say that I had a wonderful time at the party tonight, and thoroughly enjoyed being a part of it. I hope today’s celebrations made for a fulfilling and memorable day with those close to you, and I wish for even better ones in the future. Once again, happy birthday Miss Akari, and goodnight.”

“Wait! Ingo, wait-” Akari abandoned the chase. Throwing the towel at Ember (who was subsequently swallowed up by it in an instant), she came back to him. Arms wrapped around his middle and squeezed tightly as she hugged him. “Thank you. For being at the party, and for helping me after. And for the really nice birthday wishes too.”

“You’re very welcome.” Ingo returned the hug as best he could. “Sixteen is a special milestone, after all.”

The restraint that was Akari’s arms only tightened instead of loosening. She stood against him, turning her face into his tunic and let out a long sigh. She didn’t say anything immediately. Ingo wondered for a moment if he had said something wrong amongst those ten short words.

“...Sorry, I know you’re tired and you have stuff you gotta do tomorrow, and you’re trying to leave,” She finally looked up at him. “But, would you mind sticking around for a second? It won’t take that long. But, um, I can make us some tea.”

So she did want to talk to him.

Ingo’s frown once again pulled into a neutral line, his eyes indicating a reassuring smile behind the shade of his hat’s brim. He would certainly be tired tomorrow, but he found that didn’t bother him much in this moment. “Of course.”

—————

“I… don’t believe I follow. What do you mean it didn’t count?”

“I mean it didn’t count, because today can’t actually be my birthday. Like I didn’t actually turn sixteen today.”

With one hand absentmindedly stroking alongside Ember’s back as she curled further into his lap, Ingo watched Akari take the steaming tea kettle from off the irori. The warmth from the pit was a welcome heater against the cold breeze of the cracked-open window behind him — he would have preferred it closed, but Akari liked to listen to the rain. “But today is the date of your birthday, correct? Did we get it wrong? Oh dear, I… I apologize profusely if we did!”

Firsthand embarrassment crept close. No one ever liked to have the date of their birthday forgotten, or gotten wrong. Secondhand embarrassment trailed behind. He knew Akari would never have the heart to tell everyone they got the wrong day after everything they had planned. It must have been so awkward to know the whole time and not say anything for everyone else's sake; no wonder Akari seemed so bothered today.

“Woah, no, it’s nothing like that!” Akari briefly stopped pouring the tea, surprised at how flustered Ingo seemed to get. “Sorry! No, you guys didn’t get it wrong! And I mean technically, today is my birthday. But it's also… not?”

“...While that is certainly a relief, I’m afraid I am still in the dark.” Ingo insisted.

She had told him once that some things felt wrong, like her name. It hadn’t seemed wrong and she certainly felt it as her own, but for all she could remember, she could never recall the name ever leaving the mouth of her friends or family during moments with them. Not even her mother.

She had considered when she was put here, some personal information had been messed with in her memory to ‘protect’ things. She said it would make sense if her name was one of those things. She also said maybe she was entirely wrong and had watched too many time-travel sci-fi movies, a concept he could only dimly recall once re-explained at length.

Ingo couldn’t tell her if she was right or wrong about that. But he was aware of her thoughts on this by now, and he wondered if she had begun to suspect if her birth date was one of those altered things as well.

Setting the kettle back over the irori and getting up with the two cups of tea, Akari handed one to Ingo as she sat down next to him against the wall. Ember, who had previously been comfortable in Ingo’s lap, immediately abandoned him for Akari’s instead. “Um, ok. Let me try and think of how to explain this… Oh, wait- I have stuff I’ve written-”

Leaning over Ember, Akari reached into her satchel, now placed near her bed. She pulled out her Pokédex and set it across her quilava’s back. Ingo, both intrigued and surprised, sat forward to get a better look. She had written things down about this? He watched her flip through the back pages until she reached the sections she had been looking for.

Notes. Dates. Scribbled out nothings. Timelines of the year by its months. Arrows, jumping backwards and forwards on said timelines. Numerous question marks etched deep and dark with frustration.

Page after page. Attempt after attempt trying to understand.

Ingo blinked, keeping down a reflexive mouthful of questions. Whatever this was, it had been bothering her for a long time, clearly. And she had been trying to figure it out by herself the whole time, because this was the first he had heard or seen anything about it.

“Ok, so I remember that before I was put here, when I was still at home, it was almost spring. It was at the beginning of the year, nowhere close to my birthday! But after I got here, and I first showed up on Prelude Beach,” Akari held up the Pokédex, tapping at the page. “I learned that here, it was almost fall. And only a few weeks after my birthday!”

She was tapping at one of the many timelines she had made that took up two pages, surrounded by notes and question marks, and overall seeming to be one of the simpler ones. All of the months of the year, in chronological order. There was a blue dot on March, and on August, a red dot — an arrow connected the former to the latter.

“I skipped like, five months ahead into the year when I was brought here. Kind of. I went back in time, but like, that doesn’t affect my age, does it? So looking at it that way, I really just kind of lost five months, if I went straight from March to August?” The notes lost Akari’s gaze as she blinked up at Ingo, as if wondering if she was even making any sense to him. “Right?”

“Uhm,” while the diagram she had written out certainly helped visualize the jumble somewhat, this was still a lot for Ingo to process. He sat back, scratching under his hat with one hand. “I might require another run-through or two to fully comprehend it, but I believe I’ve grasped the gist of it. That seems probable.”

Perhaps it was because he himself had no birthday, year, date, or even season of his own to compare with as a reference point anyways, but he’d never really given much thought to something like this. It made sense though, he thought. Just because someone went back in time on a certain day, doesn’t mean they’d show up in the past on that exact same day, down to the second. Akari certainly could have showed up here, with the year five months ahead from when she left her own time.

Not that it even mattered much, but maybe something like that had happened to him as well.

“Ugh, I’m sorry, I know all of this sounds so confusing, and all these scribbles probably aren’t helping. It was hard trying to figure this out with nothing but books to use as reference.” Akari seemed to become self-conscious of her rant; she closed her Pokédex and set it down at her side, replacing it with her cup of tea. “But I know dates aren’t the same. It was technically my birth-day today, yes, but not my birthday . It hasn’t been an actual year since my last birthday. I honestly don’t count myself as turning sixteen for another five months.”

“Well, I can understand the conflicting emotions with the celebrations now.” Ingo swallowed down a long sip of tea in order to verbalize his sentiments. He did not understand, though. Not entirely. When he listened to her talk, he heard confusion, and perhaps a little self-directed frustration. He didn’t exactly hear the well-hidden sadness he saw at the party.

This didn’t feel like it was all of it. But he was beginning to suspect he knew what the rest of it was, and he would not broach it himself.

“It was entirely unintended, I’m sure you understand, but all the same, I’m sorry to hear that the party brought up unwanted reminders.” He added on another statement to address it as best he could, more genuine to his true thoughts. “I’m sure the others would be too, if they were aware.”

“I know, I know… and I feel bad about that.” Akari confessed. “But they didn’t know. And I don’t want them to.” She looked down into her tea. “It wasn’t like, obvious that I was bothered at the party, was it Ingo?”

“Not particularly,” He half-lied. It certainly hadn’t been obvious, but it had been enough for him to suspect something, at the very least. He couldn’t speak for anyone else though, and he doubted anybody would ever be able to guess the reason if they did notice anything. “I don’t believe anyone would suspect themselves as the cause of your troubles.”

“You were asking me a lot tonight if I was ok.”

“An exploding birthday cake can be quite a distressing matter.”

The dry humor got a little laugh out of Akari. “…Yeah, ok. But. It’s just…”

Ingo waited.

“I don’t know,” she stumbled, though Ingo could see she very clearly knew. “The party wasn’t really the problem. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate everything they did, because I really did! I know it took a lot of work! But… I dunno.” She stumbled again. “You saw the party tonight. It was huge! And it’s not like it wasn’t super fun, because it was, or that it was too much for me or anything, because it wasn’t , but I kind of just…”

Akari shrugged, looking off to the side. Ingo watched her, patient as she set her cup down on the windowsill behind them and began fidgeting with her scarf.

“I don’t know, I guess I wished my mom had been here to celebrate it too.” Her voice wavered for a moment. “Even though I know that’s impossible right now. I just didn’t want her to miss it. Or more like do it without her, I guess. She would always talk about how turning sixteen was so big and so important, and it was going to be a special milestone. Just like what you said earlier.”

Oh. So it was something he had said.

“I think my mom was looking forward to this birthday more than I was!” Akari continued. “SO I felt bad that I did it without her. And I really miss her a lot, all the time. And I know she doesn’t know what happened to me. And I’m worried about that, and I just… Yeah. I didn’t want her to miss it.”

Ingo bit the inside of his cheek; it was what he suspected it to be – missing her family. Her mother.

But despite all the growing suspicion he let build up inside him over the course of the night, shamefully, he still wasn’t quite sure what to say. Akari’s mother was rarely the topic of their discussions, on account of the teen’s own emotional distress over it. Ingo never tried to bring it up on his own, and treated it with caution the few times she would bring it up herself, but it meant words always came slowly and with much difficulty when they would turn to it.

“That’s why today just can’t be my birthday. I want to be back with my mom by the time it actually is.” Akari kept handling the fabric of her scarf. “Because tonight I just kept thinking about how she was missing it. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever have something like that again. And I’m afraid that she thinks that too.”

“Oh, Miss Akari,” Ingo set down his own cup as she looked back up at him, sniffing with newly-misted eyes that threatened to well up. The sign that that was all she was going to say on the matter, and she was done. He opened his arm when she leaned closer to him, and she slumped into his side at the invitation, rubbing at her eyes to catch anything before it could fall. “I’m so sorry, I know you miss her dearly.”

A child separated from their mother. A mother who doesn’t know what happened to their child, or if their child is dead or alive, and is only more inclined to assume the former as time goes on. Except the child is not, and has no way to reassure the mother, or comfort her — no way to tell her she’s still alive, and that she hopes she doesn’t somehow suspect it’s her fault, and that she’s thinking of her every day while trying to find a way back to her.

It should not be this way.

But it is.

Ingo’s heart hurt; did he leave behind some terrible situation like this as well? Broken hearts and unanswered questions? It was easier for him to forget possibilities like this sometimes, when memories were not there to remind him of them.

“I do.” The teen settled more comfortably, rubbing at her eyes again when Ember reached up to lick at any stray tears. Her voice was shaky, but not uncontrolled — she took a deep breath to regain it. “It is really hard.”

Gears were turning in Ingo’s head, trying to figure something out. What could he say to this? She had been upset to the point of tears, and he wanted to comfort her. But he could not offer a promise to her, telling her she’d get back to her own time, see her mother again, and celebrate with her the way she wanted. Because as much as he wanted it to happen for her, he just did not know if it would. And Akari knew he did not know. Telling her something like that would just be empty, and maybe even painful. And he felt that lamenting the ghosts within white-out memories was a different kind of heartache compared to the vivid grieving over separation from one’s mother. Or maybe it was. But he didn’t know if in trying to console her with relatability, he would end up referencing too much loss, or not enough. What could he possibly-

“But it’s been easier. With you around.”

All the overworked lines speeding through Ingo’s mind halted. “...Oh?”

“I mean, you’re like the only other person in this entire world that can understand this whole thing right now. Like, really understand it. Even though I know they’ll listen, I don’t really know how to bring this stuff up to other people sometimes, because these aren’t things that anyone can really help.” Akari went on, seemingly not even noticing that he had mentally stalled. “Like I obviously couldn’t tell Rei or the Professor the party made me feel like this after all the time they spent putting it together for me, that would be terrible. And I don’t know how obvious it was, but I kind of took a long time working myself up to even tell you tonight. Even though to me, you’re like my, um…”

A very heavy pause as she mulled over her words.

“...I don’t know, my time-travel buddy here.”

Akari pet Ember as she talked, who by now had settled back into her lap, seeing as there were no more tears. Ingo found some appropriate humor in the title she gave him, but was otherwise quiet. She wasn’t finishing her sentences with a tone that suggested she was really done; it seemed like she kept wanting to say more but was cutting herself short.

“So… thank you for listening to all that. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to that really understands what I’m talking about.” Was all that came out instead, all that summarized her feelings on the matter. “I just wanna say I’m glad you’re here too, so I don’t feel so out of place, or lost, here.”

Ingo took in a breath, ready to thank her for such kind words and add in a reassurance that yes, he was there for her, but it seemed the moment of silence had led to quick reflection, then overthinking; Akari became noticeably flustered, suddenly leaning off of his shoulder to sit up straight.

“I mean, wait, no-” She stumbled. “I’m… I’m not saying I’m like, happy you ended up here just to make me feel more comfortable or anything, of course not! It’s terrible that it happened, especially the way it did! Obviously! I’m just-”

A pause to gather her thoughts.

“I’m… thankful I have someone else who can understand my situation, and helps me. And I’m not alone in this. Is what I’m trying to say. If that makes sense.” Akari finally killed her choppy ramble by taking a hasty sip of her tea.

“I understand,” Ingo tried to reassure the flush of embarrassment on the teen’s face; it hadn’t come across like that at all. “And as long as we’re being honest, I must admit I hold similar sentiments.”

He leaned his head back against the wall. Staring at the square of dim moonlight stretched across the floor from the window behind them, he watched the shadows that the rainfall projected as it came down outside. She told him she appreciated that he listened and talked through these things with her, but he hadn’t said much of anything yet. Well, now it was time to do that.

“I hope I’ve been transparent enough about just how much your arrival has changed my tracks for the better.” He started slowly, idly turning his cup of tea in his fingers. “From when I first arrived here until our routes crossed, I felt… entirely derailed. You know that. I’m even sure you can recall that disposition from when our tracks first crossed.”

“Yes,” Akari slowly allowed herself to settle back against his shoulder. She didn’t really give their first meeting much thought these days. Looking back, it felt polarizing to compare him to the man she had first been introduced to, now paling as distant and directionless in comparison to how he was now.

“But I’ve regained an amount of myself that I thought was indefinitely lost due to your assistance. I know that I lived in a time period comparable to yours, if not the very same — wouldn’t that be something?”

It had to be the very same, Akari just knew it was.

“I also know that I conducted many exciting battles alongside someone who enjoyed them just as much as I did, if not more. And I know that this someone was similar to me in many ways, and very dear to me. Perhaps family, from what I’ve gathered at this point. And while the identities and locations are still quite blurred, I’ve recovered many fragments that indicate I was fortunate enough to be loved by friends and family, seemingly up until my sudden derailment.”

Akari recalled the times when Ingo first remembered these things. When she first helped him recover shards of these cracked but significant recollections, whether purposely or accidentally.

He always cried.

Whether that was uncontrollably in the moment with her, or later in the evenings when he had resigned himself to the privacy of Lady Sneasler’s den, there were always tears.

She knew it hurt him to recall such loving, warm, comforting memories when all his situation did was serve as a reminder that it was out of reach, had been for a long time, and may still be for much longer. Questioning if it would ever be felt again by the same people who extended so much love to him, and he couldn’t even do them the decency of remembering their faces. Weaponized grief accusing him that it had all been taken for granted – that it hadn’t been appreciated enough back then.

Akari knew, because she would cry over similar things when she was alone at night, sometimes.

But she could do that. She was a teenager. Teenagers could cry.

Ingo was an adult. Adults could cry too, but it always felt harder to deal with when it was them. Especially when it was Ingo. Ingo, someone who always comforted her. Ingo, who didn’t cry.

At least, he didn’t before he started regaining these memories that she’d helped recover.

“But, it…” Akari looked down into her cup of tea, conflicted. In a way, she felt like Ingo was thanking her for simultaneously helping and hurting him. “I mean, it feels like-” She didn’t know how she wanted to phrase it. “-I know it hurts a lot sometimes, to remember. Would you… knowing what you know now, would you rather not have, um…”

It seemed Akari was becoming disheartened with the question, probably beginning to find it an insensitive question to ask. Ingo understood what she was getting at, and she realized that.

“Nevermind,” she finally ended the struggle and cut herself off. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” Ingo reassured her. “It can be quite hard, yes, to know what I’ve been removed from. It weighs heavy on my heart when I stop to reflect on it. But I know I have something to return to now. And while it can be painful at times, it is, to me, a welcome change from the plaguing hollowness of loss and confusion. I would not have, well… myself without you, and for that I am immensely grateful.”

It was heartening to see his words put her at ease, but he realized he was getting off track from what he was trying to express.

“ Ahem, all of this is to say; likewise, Miss Akari, if I had any say in the matter, I would not wish for you to be displaced here either. Yet you are. And as unfortunate as it might feel sometimes, all one can do is make the best of their situation. And there was nothing either of us could have done about our destination, but your presence at this station is a pleasant one, both in company and agency.” Ingo cleared his throat. “I am thankful for our friendship.”

“Me too…” Akari sounded almost choked up again, her voice quiet. “ See, you always know what to say. Thank you.”

The ambience of the rainfall against the unit’s eave became prevalent as conversation died. They sat like that for a while. Whether listening to the rain or replaying the conversation in her head, Ingo didn’t know what it was that Akari was doing. But the relative darkness in the room, the internal warmth of the tea, and the relaxing pattering of rain against the roof outside was a very dangerous combination for him. His eyes were already growing heavy, he should probably get going before he falls aslee-

“Hey Ingo,” The warden started when he felt a bony elbow suddenly nudge him in the side. “When we both get back, I’m gonna have another birthday party, one on my actual sixteenth birthday, with my mom there so that she doesn’t miss anything this time.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Ingo yawned, sitting forward to help rouse himself from the weakening grip of sleep. She was treating an ‘if’ like a ‘when’, and he sometimes warned her about doing that, but he found that right now especially, he couldn’t not indulge her a little.

“Yeah, and it’s gonna have tons of balloons, streamers and confetti everywhere.” Akari leaned her head against his shoulder to look back at him. “Like so much, even five days after the party, you’ll sneeze and confetti will still come out.”

“Every proper birthday party needs that.” Ingo couldn’t help but huff a laugh through his nose at the visual she’d constructed. “What colors for the theme?”

“Everything’s gonna be blue, of course!” She knew that he knew her favorite color would be the only choice. “You know that! Oh, and also, one birthday cake that’s the size of two! To make up for the one that exploded today!”

“What flavor?”

“Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. So everyone can have a flavor they like. And-” Akari sat up and fully turned to him, like this next part was serious. “I'm gonna have every single one of my friends and family come. So that means you’re going to be invited too! And anyone else you wanna bring! I’ll get to introduce you to everyone there!”

Ingo smiled. Because it did sound nice, truely. But the small smile quickly dulled. Indulgence aside, he didn’t want to encourage setting herself up for hurt. “You know I would love to. And if I can, I certainly will. However… Miss Akari, I truly hate to bring it up, but please be mindful of what we’ve talked about. I wouldn’t want there to be… any hurt. In case our tracks do not run as close as expected.”

Hopeful prospects built upon skewed expectations are terribly vicious if time reveals those expectations are wrong. It would leave deep wounds if they did go back to their own times, only to be separated by a gate of decades that stretched so far, they’d only ever be able to assume that’s what had happened, and never know for sure. But it would hurt more if they had convinced themselves that would not happen and took that as fact.

And so Ingo did not.

And while Akari had said over and over that she did not either, he could tell that really, deep down, she did.

And all of this wasn’t even considering the very real possibility that Ingo might not have a ticket back home like she did. She had told him time and time again that she’d drag him back by the arm if she had to, and stop anything that tried to keep her from doing so, but… what was a teenager against the Unknown?

“I know, I know.” Akari said it with concerning brevity. “But we have to come from the same time. How could we not? You also know what Pokémon gyms are, and contests! And you actually know what double battles are, too. And you know what cellphones are, and pizza, and video games!”

“It is… convincing.” Even though it was more vague than anything that narrowed things down to decades, not a single year, Ingo decided to just leave it there for now. This was not something to talk about at length tonight. Not after all she had just told him.

“So you’re gonna need to come! I really want to introduce you to my mom. I know she’d wanna meet you after all you’ve done for me! Knowing her, she’d probably try and repay you with tons of home-baked things, and I need to warn you she’s going to hug you with the strength of an ursaring trap.”

“Ah, well now I know where you get that from.”

A quick, simple sentence said without much of a tone, but Akari caught the humor of it. She laughed into her tea. “No, hers are like three times as strong as mine!”

With her leaning into her cup, Ingo did not see the playful look she gave him in the stretch of silence.

“And, just thought you’d like to know, she’s single too…”

“O-oh-” Ingo found himself sitting forward suddenly, his ears steaming hot with sudden embarrassment at the implication. Arceus, of all the ways for her to confirm his suspicions that a father probably wasn’t present. Surely not- “I- no no, with all due respect Miss Akari, I don’t think that would-!”

“Kidding, kidding, I’m kidding!” The teen shouted in between laughs, pushing his shoulder playfully and giving him a big, stupid smile. “Geez, you’re always so easy! I know! That wouldn’t work anyways, you’re like… the weird, distant uncle I didn’t find out about until like a year ago, if anything.”

“Weird uncle?” Ingo snorted at the notion, perhaps a bit too loudly — he hadn’t been expecting that, but it was certainly less heart attack-inducing than the former proposition.

“Yes!” Taking his laughter as disagreement more than surprise, Akari shoved his arm again. “I mean, you let me do a lot of things that I don’t think responsible parents would let kids do-”

“Because I’m- I’m not your parent,” Ingo hastily tried to correct her, still somewhat processing the topic. “And I’m not letting you, I’m simply ensuring you’re performing the proper safety checks when doing them!”

One would have much more success trying to properly equip her with tools and knowledge than to try and stop her from doing anything she was set on doing. Anyone who knew Akari well enough would know that.

“Yeah, well, I know my mom would kill me if she knew of all the dangerous things I was doing, and you don’t. There.” The teen poked him several times to drive her point home. “That’s what uncles do. And, you respond to my jokes with more jokes, and you like all my pranks-”

“I wouldn’t say all of them,” Ingo squeezed in, shaking his head but allowing himself to laugh a little.

“-and you let me hang around you like every time I come by, and you listen to my problems, and you help me when I need it-”

“You make it out to be a chore, I assure you it’s not-”

“-and! And! I don’t know how you do it, but you can fall asleep anywhere within like, thirty seconds.” Akari started snickering, looking back at him to see his reaction. “You were doing it like two minutes ago! I’ve only ever seen three types of people do that.” She began numbering off with her fingers, “Dads, uncles, and grandpas. You kind of best qualify for the latter in that area because you’re like, super super old, but…”

“Hey!” Now it was Ingo’s turn to nudge her with his arm – she was already joking with him again. She laughed more freely this time, quickly settling back against his shoulder.

“Point is, you’re um, kind of what I wished my actual uncle would have been like when I was growing up… if that’s not too forward to say. You’re the weird, distant uncle. Except the weird is a good weird, and the distant part wasn’t your fault. I appreciate that you um, basically look out for me here. It helps with missing my mom.” She finished, ending it by returning to her cup for another long sip of tea.

What a confession.

Ingo had known she had grown very attached to him over the months, and he could not deny he had done the same. She had made it very easy, he supposed; her frequent company filled time that had previously been spent alone, and those times were much happier now. And while he had grown to feel some sense of responsibility over her – she did often follow advice or guidance from him anymore, so logically there was some responsibility there – but he hadn’t thought much past it. He never felt like he had to.

However, she basically just admitted she felt like his ward, if he could compare it to anything. He had not known she had grown to see him like that, exactly – he wasn't sure he even saw himself like that – or when that had even first begun.

But it was comforting, in a way. Whether he had a spouse or children before Hisui, he did not know – he very much doubted it, but realistically, he didn’t know for sure. And siblings? Or parents? The scratched-out faces and names that haunted his cracked memories never made it clear. Those people could have been family, but they could have also been just close friends, and while that was certainly family in its own way, it was… hard, not really knowing.

And although he certainly did consider the Pearl Clan his family in Hisui, eternally indebted to Irida and the rest of the clan for their kindness to him, the circumstances of his acceptance had unfortunately felt purely obligatory or pitiful by some. It felt... different. And he didn't know if that would ever change.

So it was nice to hear someone call him family.

Akari had never said that phrase explicitly, but basically confessing of her own volition that she saw him as a member of hers was, in all honesty, painfully consoling and cathartic.

Ingo realized he hadn’t said anything yet. He turned to address the teen; she was sipping the last of her tea, but her cheeks were pink now, eyes down as she pet Ember with her other hand – she had grown self-conscious of her vulnerability in his silent processing, perhaps thinking he didn’t reciprocate the proposed connection. Or worse, he thought she was clingy for it.

She had confessed everything to him that she’d held back earlier, hadn’t she?

“Well, I am glad to know I live up to the expectations then, Miss Akari.” He made sure to give her a smile, still turned down in the corners but clearly, genuinely happy with his eyes. “I believe the feeling is mutual.”

Very few words, but relieving and emotional all the same. Arms reached around his shoulders to give another steel trap hug. “Thank you. For that. And for talking with me tonight. I know I said it would be quick, but…”

“It’s quite alright. I’m glad we could talk as well.” Ingo picked it up when she trailed off, squeezing her back with an arm in a side hug.

Weird uncle.

Yeah, he supposed he could get used to that.

“Ok then, you’re definitely going to need to come to my real birthday party now, no way you can’t.” Akari finally let go of him. Ember leapt off her lap and onto the floor as she moved to stand up and collect both of their tea cups, now empty. “And you’re gonna have to start showing up to family barbecues too! And your own family’s gotta come too, so you can introduce them to mine, and we can get even more get-togethers!””

She was joking, but he could tell she also was not. Another pang of future uncertainty dampened the sentiments, but Ingo looked past it as he made his own move to get back to his feet, and help her put everything away. “I can certainly try my best to do so.”

Hmm. His own family too.

His heart ached. He did wish he could remember them. He found himself wanting to meet them just as much as Akari did, if not more. (Surely though, he did.)

A part of him once again wondered if they missed him the way he missed them. Or the way Akari missed her mother.

—————

“Thank you, Elesa. I know you didn’t have to.”

“Please, don’t even mention it! You know I’d never pass up another opportunity to drag you around with me.”

Emmet pulled his cap down over his eyes as he stepped out of his apartment to join his friend. After he locked the door, the two of them began to make their way down the stairs to the street below. “Though I’m happy to go with you, I'm sorry to hear about Skyla. That was very unfortunate timing.”

“It really was; she said she’s already feeling better, though! She just told me to tell you to enjoy the premiere for her.” Elesa hooked her arm around Emmet’s as they continued down the steps.

It genuinely had been unfortunate timing for Skyla to catch a cold only a few days before the premiere of Pokéstar Studios’ newest movie that Elesa had a part in. But even if she hadn’t, herself and Elesa had long before agreed that they were going to come up with an excuse to take Emmet in her place anyways.

His birthday was not until tomorrow, and while many things had been planned with friends and family to occupy the day with good times and love, Elesa did not want him confining himself to his dark apartment tonight. Things were often just as painful the day before, as well.

“Skyla’s name is on the ticket.” Emmet absentmindedly observed as she handed the decorated slip to him. The dozen pokeballs within his coat weighed heavy for a moment. “And all of my Pokémon will be there, not Skyla’s. Will I have to show them ID or something?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it when we get there.” She reassured him. “Again, last-minute stuff, but I can work that out pretty easily.”

“Mmm,” Emmet hummed. That seemed like it would be his only response. But as he continued to scrutinize the name on the ticket, he spoke up again. “It’s ok, Elesa. I know that this was not last minute.”

While she couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, Elesa also couldn’t say this wasn’t unexpected. Emmet had always been very good at picking up on things.

She just didn’t want him to think this was being done out of pity or anything.

Which maybe part of it was, how could it not be? But moreso, Emmet was her friend. And she wanted him to have something to think about other than grief tonight.

“I’ve been saying it’s last-minute too much, haven’t I?” She asked, seeming a little rueful.

“Yes, you have.” Emmet sounded almost amused as they continued down the steps. If he was bothered, he certainly wasn’t showing it. “But you also have not said a thing to me about my birthday all week. That is verrry unlike you.”

Harassing himself and Ingo with silly cards, gaudy gifts, and at least one big activity the week of their birthdays. Making Ingo and Emmets’ birthdays a week-long, inescapable reminder of the big day they shared was Elesa’s style of celebration. Not this.

But to be fair, just like how this year was… a first for Emmet, it was a first for her too. It was a first for everyone. Emmet understood why she was walking on eggshells – their birthdays had very much been an Ingo-and-Emmet thing. One was not without the other, ever.

Except this year, it was.

It was understandable why people would be nervous to bring it up to him in all the ways they had before. They were afraid it would serve as a reminder that someone was not there anymore to celebrate it with him. And they were right, it would. But while Emmet appreciated the sensitivity, he didn’t want a careful birthday where everyone was afraid of how to handle him. It wasn’t intended, but it would be demeaning.

“I’m sorry, Emmet. I just didn’t really… know how to do it this year.” Elesa confessed what he had already known. They were practically at the bottom of the stairs now. “And I didn’t want to say or do anything that would be- I didn’t want you to be alone, or thinking of anything that’ll hurt right now. I just want you to feel as loved and appreciated as you are, not sad. Not on your birthday.”

“I do feel loved.” Reaching the bottom of the stairs and stepping onto the sidewalk, Emmet stopped so that they could talk face-to-face for a moment. “Tonight I was invited to an event that was very much not planned last-minute, with my dear friend, to see a movie that she is in. And tomorrow, I will get to spend the entire day with friends and family. And even after that, when I am back in my apartment, I have all of my Pokémon, who need me as well. You all do a verrry good job of making me feel loved. It is a good birthday already.”

“Oh Emmet,” Elesa let go of his arm to reach out for him. She settled into his shoulder as she gently hugged around his neck. Emmet reciprocated, arms secured around her back.

Emmet knew tomorrow was going to be different. Difficult, certainly. For the first time, only half of him would be there. The reminders were still daily and constant, but tomorrow they were going to be a little sharper, a little more poignant. He couldn’t avoid that. But he did not want to try and bury it – he had already slipped into that once before, and learned how destructive and painful it was. And he certainly didn’t want others to feel like they needed to as well for his sake. He was hurting, and a part of him always would regardless, but he was not fragile.

“And it is ok to talk about Ingo.” Emmet spoke into Elesa’s shoulder. “It will be his birthday tomorrow too. And even if he is not right here at this moment, I would not want him to be excluded from it.”

“Alright,” There was relief in the way she sighed, squeezing him a little harder.

“Thank you, Elesa.” Separating from the hug, Emmet gave her a reassuring smile, though it was not without a hint of melancholy. “You are a very good friend.”

At the edge of the sidewalk, a sleek black car pulled up to them and stopped, engine thrumming quietly.

“Oh, that’s for us,” Sniffing, Elesa carefully wiped at her eye and cleared her throat. “You know, Emmet, I’m really…” She stopped, seeming to think better of it. No more apologies or condolences for tonight, she was supposed to be cheering him up. “...I’m glad you could come with me tonight.”

“I am too, very much.” Emmet seemed doubly grateful for the lighter change of topic. He followed her as she led him over to the car, and opened the backseat door for her. “I have not gone with you to one of these in a while! Last time was several years ago when you took Ingo and me with you to see that terribly cheesy rom-com you had a cameo in.”

“Well, funny you should bring that up,” A bit of Elesa’s playfulness slowly began to show itself again, a smile brightening her features as she scooted across the seat to make room for him. “Because lucky for you, tonight’s movie is also a romantic comedy!”

“Blech!” Emmet made an exaggerated gagging sound as he stepped into the car after her, which sent Elesa into a fit of laughing while he closed the door. “I will be watching this for you, not for the romance!”

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stargirl-writes · 7 months

Text

devotion

pairing : f! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 1.3k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

when you decided to sleep with anakin skywalker, you have set an arrangement to keep it purely physical. but it was getting harder to repress that you've fallen for him. and tonight, you aren't sure if you can keep seeing him in like this anymore.

tags : angst, hurt/no comfort, pining.

warnings : !mature content! (implication of sexual themes, but not discussed) and drinking. kind of a cliffhanger (i'm debating whether i should make another part still)

notes : hello lovely people, i'm currently hyperfixiating on media referring/relating love to faith and cannibalism (as smone with religious trauma haha!) so here's my tiny drabble on that, i hope ya like it 🪽

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Corruption begins at the mouth. To consume the flesh— the wanting. The thought of being ready to devote entirely. And to be devoured with the same intensity.

So when you agreed to have sex with Anakin Skywalker, you convinced yourself it was purely physical. The attraction has always been there, one of you is bound to break, and to your favor, Anakin had been the one to come to your quarters.

But it doesn't matter. Whatever you feel is overcome by your fear of intimacy. You can satiate the physical sensations without ever needing to commit.

He wanted you. And you wanted him — in the same manner. Purely physical, that was the arrangement you set.

The days are most exhausting but you can give into the relief of coming apart by Anakin's touch, and his hungry kisses, and his deep thrusts. You'd forget the stresses of the galaxies. You'd allow him to hold you, without him knowing that no one has ever stood to your soul as he does when his eyes fix on you at the edge of your climax.

And Anakin would fuck like you were the most beautiful thing he'd got his hands on. He becomes greedy, he'd become the closest thing to intimacy you can define.

It never mattered how you felt before.

He always made sure to have you feel good first, and you'd always make him crumble by your touch after.

It was a mutual exchange.

There's no need to complicate such a clear line by confusing his kisses as something romantic.

You knew he was carnivorous about love— he'd want to be teeth deep in possession. He could love you, if you let him, you could become his God.

And that terrified you more than your fear of intimacy.

You stood up from the sheets, legs still trembling.

Despite the moments earlier, you wrapped your robe around your body, feeling exposed.

You know Anakin would never stay after. It was good that he didn't. At least, then you can reestablish some space after such a binding ritual of fucking and vows that leave his lips in the heat of the moment.

You sat down by the chair away from your bed, pouring yourself a drink. It was a vice you developed during the war. One you can't entirely quit because it sends you straight to sleep.

Anakin was steadying his breath. You heard him shuffling, as if he too was trying to come down from the high.

You downed your drink and poured another. Begging for that warm buzz to come over quickly so you'd stop feeling so... excessively.

Through the mirror, you saw Anakin put back his garments— his hair stubbornly a mess.

You take your gaze away from lingering on his bare torso. Or his sharp jaw. Or his tight back.

You drank your shot once more.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Anakin says, his profile the only thing you could make out from the reflection.

Your heart aches, torn between wanting to say yes, i'll see you tomorrow, please come find me tomorrow, hold me tomorrow, and no, i can't keep doing this tomorrow, i don't want to see you tomorrow.

You cannot admit that you knew loving would destroy you. if he comes tomorrow, you fear you'd break and finally tell him. But then again, if you refuse, he'll know how you felt.

The stage is finally set; for you and Anakin to dance and circle around waiting to be consumed by one another.

Possession is cruel, it corrupts. You thought, with all the love you have— you could eat him whole.

You don't speak, Anakin steps forward, standing very close to your back.

The heat of his body emanates to your robes— casting imprints on the fibers of your soul.

You saw Anakin's gaze land on the drink you were having. He never did like how you turn to alcohol for some sort of relief.

"Did you not want me to come tomorrow?" He insists after noticing your silence.

Your lips purse, "No"

He tilts his head, lost by what you meant.

"No— no, you can, if you want to" you clarified, unsure how committed you were to your own words.

You downed the rest of your drink— feeling the familiar haze of its effect.

"Then what's bothering you?" Anakin speaks softly, you hated how much you didn't want to ruin this.

You sigh, shaking your head "Nothing"

"Nothing at all"

Anakin kneels down, wanting to see your eyes. His eyes were dark, intent, you wondered what they'd look like if he fell in love.

"Did I—" He begins, Your eyebrows furrow at the concern coating his voice.

"Did I hurt you? Did I do something?"

You pressed your palm against his cheek, forcing him to look up. "No, Anakin"

Under your touch, he looked like everything you asked for. Underneath your sinful fingers, he becomes something you could worship.

You caught yourself dreaming and withdrew your hand, taking the glass of alcohol instead.

You could feel his eyes burn at your skin watching you drink.

"I'll see you tomorrow" You dismissed, standing up, trying to establish some space, so you can stop being so encased by his warmth, or his eyes, or his hair, or his hold on you he was so blissfully unaware of.

Your head spun, you fought through the blurriness.

You found yourself at the balcony instead, a breath of fresh air would do you good.

You waited to hear your door lock— held your breath til he left.

But he stays.

"You know, you really should stop depending on alcohol" Anakin appears next to you.

You ran your finger to the rim of your drink, huffing a breathless laugh.

"It's the only thing that comforts me nowadays" You sigh, not intending the double entendre.

Besides, you doubt he'll interpret your attraction to him as anything else.

The silence hung once more. The cold of the midnight air felt crisp against your bare legs, so you hugged your robe against your skin.

"I worry about you" Anakin's voice was husky, exhausted. "We used to be able to talk about everything before"

Your heart tinges in guilt. Along the way, you somehow have pushed him farther away by denying how you felt.

"I'm sorry, I've just been trying to figure out some things"

You're doing it because of love. And for love, you disappear.

"Well, come to me. You know you can always come to me, whenever you need me." Anakin stresses.

You look up, biting your tongue. Begging to stay in one piece.

If you offer yourself— it'd be the most selfish thing you'll do.

You'll be mine. You thought as you get lost in his eyes.

Burning devotion. For all eternity.

"Anakin, we can't keep doing this anymore" You said finally, submitting to your truth.

Anakin's eyes furrow in focus. "Doing what?"

You frown, trying to explain something incommunable.

You've always felt ashamed for wanting. For taking. It wasn't a virtue, it was a disguise. Because you can't love without giving yourself entirely, bones and all. Ravenous, intense, unforgiving devotion.

Because isn't bite also a form of touch?

Finally, Anakin seems to understand the expression painted on your face. You held your breath, bracing for his reaction.

"You wanted this" He reminds. The sterness of his voice made you flinch. It felt like the cruelest rejection.

"I know"

"You said clear lines. No attachments"

"I know" You felt like you were being caught in the act of doing something forbidden.

Anakin's expression hardens, seeming to process your admission.

Your tears were threatening to fall, but you refused to let them. You didn't want him to feel sorry you felt that way. You didn't want him to know how far you've pathetically fallen for him.

He turns to his heel and your heart breaks.

The tear finally leaks your left eye, as your hand reaches out, just enough to grip on the end of his robe.

"Stay"

part ii?

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have-you-seen-my-sanity · 2 months

Text

I am better

Poe Dameron x fem!Reader

A/N: I kinda roasted Rey at the end. I can't help it, I hate her. The only reason I tortured myself with the sequels was literally only because Oscar Isaac as Poe lol.

Quick summary: At a conversation between you, Finn and Poe about the old Clone Wars, you spoke faster than thinking, saying Anakin Skywalker is the best pilot in the Galaxy. Poe did not like that.

Dead dove do not eat - you'll get exactly what's in the tags!

Tags: nsfw, PinV, dom Poe, punishment, cockwarming, kind of dark Poe, jealous Poe.

A/N 2: Just realized the pic looks perfect. Finn is like: "Girl, you better run..." and Poe looks like: "Excuse me? What did you just say?!"

Sometimes it's better to think before speaking. It all started harmless, Finn, Poe and you were talking about the Clone Wars. Poe was worshipping the Clones, wishing they would be still around, Finn was drooling over Ahsoka Tano...and you? You were all over Anakin Skywalker, admiring everything about him.

"Anakin Skywalker? Come on, that's overkill!" Finn snorted, looking down at the Dejarik round they were playing.

"Why? Just because you're worshipping Ahsoka?" You chuckled, watching Finns dejarik player getting slamdunked.

"Ugh, you and your crushes..." Poe scoffed and leaned forward, preparing his round.

"Atleast we have one individual we love and not millions." you backfired at him, grinning cheekily.

"I think Poe chooses the Clones because all the other ladies are ugly and Ahsoka is the only sexy looking one." Finn nudged Poe, making him give a confused expression.

"Poe, how about Obi Wan?" you asked.

"Nah. He's way too noble, way too jedi-like..." he retorted with an disgusted expression.

"Wait! What about Bo Katan? Isn't she someone you'd be into, mate?" Finn suggested.

"I would even arrange the date between you two." You chuckled.

Poe just looked at you two, surprised but uncaring "You two are absolutely unfair, you know that?"

You three kept playing dejarik for a bit before Finn spoke up again.

"Hey, but what about you? Why Anakin Skywalker? Is it because he turned bad and you're kinda into bad boys?" Finn grinned at you.

"No!" you smiled, turning your head to hide the slight red on your cheeks.

"Don't be shy! Come on, spill it." Poe teased, giving you a cocky grin.

"Alright, alright, you won. I like him because he was the best in everything. Best at fighting, strong in the force." you leaned back in your seat.

"Wait, nothing else? Really?" Poe asked curiously.

"He invented the spinning." Finn joked.

You laughed hard. "And he's the best pilot in the Galaxy." you retorted but gulped as realization hit you.

You looked back up at Finn and Poe, Finn had his hand on his chin, trying to suppress the laughter threatening to come out of him. At this point you were glad at sitting opposite from them as you saw Poe's jaw tensing.

"Pheww, okay guys, I gotta go to Chewie and talk with him about something." Finn broke the silence, preparing to stand up.

"Wait, Finn! We didn't even finish our dejarik round!" You gave him an almost pleading look.

"I- uhh, I'm sure you and Poe can finish it just fine, right mate?" Finn chuckled nervously, giving Poe a pat on the shoulder.

"Yeah, we will get this over with and see who's the better one." Poe gave you a scowl.

"See? That's why I chose Ahsoka!" Finn grinned, finding the situation amusing.

"Anaking was Ahsoka's master!" you retorted, seeing Poe giving you a warning glance.

"See you guys later!" Finn waved and stood up, walking off, leaving only Poe and you alone.

"Poe...listen, I didn't mean to--" You got cut off by Poe, who stood up and made his way to you.

"I'll teach you better." he grabbed your arm and lead you out of the Millennium Falcon, leading you towards a small freighter nearby. Once inside and ensurring they were alone, he lead you to the cargohold and locked the entrance of the ship.

-----

Now you were on Poe's lap, his cock buried deep inside you, he held you firmly in place, not moving a little bit.

"Repeat what you said." Poe demanded lowly.

You squirmed, desperately trying to get atleast some friction "I-I'm sorry..."

"No, no, no, tell me. I wanna hear it coming out of your mouth again."

"Anakin-... is the b-best pilot in the Galaxy-..." you tried to move again but Poe had an iron grip that made it impossible.

"But is he really? Or is there someone better, hm?" Poe asked, holding you in place.

"Yes, you." you replied, making Poe's hips move a little bit before stopping once more. The little friction he gave felt so good, causing you to whimper after he stopped.

"So you admit I am the best and Skywalker is nothing compared to me?" he asked again.

"Poeee, please move. It's killing me..." you begged, feeling how slippy everything down there is.

"Answer." he tutted.

"Anakin is nothing compared to you. You're the best, Poe. Only you." you whimpered needily.

Poe chuckled, "See? It wasn't that hard now, was it?" he started moving slowly, only enough to make you crave for more.

Your eyes lulled back, you wanted Poe to move faster "Please faster."

"Is there something else you might tell me about Skywalker?" Poe asked, his pace increased slightly.

You knew exactly why he asked you that, he knew your mind was clouded with pleasure and thinking wasn't your speciality rightnow.

"He's handsome.." you slipped out.

"Handsome, huh?" Poe repeated, his hips stopped again.

"No- I mean- you-you're handsome. Anakin's not." You stuttered, trying to correct yourself.

"Damn right I am." he started moving again.

"If you ever say someone is better than me again, I will make sure to fuck you so hard you will forget all their names and only remember mine. Now enjoy the ride, honey."

Poe's thrusts increased even more, moving you up and down simutaniously.

Your orgasm approached so fast, it was only mere minutes before it ripped through your body. Poe's orgasm came right after yours. He grabbed a rag and cleaned both of you up while you put your clothes back on.

Poe and you left the freighter, walking back to the Millennium Falcon as Finn approached

"Heyy, did you two finally got an agreement?" Finn asked, looking at you two.

"Yep. We uh- we came to an agreement that Anakin is better at..." you trailed off, looking at Poe who was looking back at you expectantly.

"He is better with his lightsaber than Rey. I mean- come on, Anakin got training and Rey didn't, right? Having powers without getting trained is no right to call themselves a Jedi, right?" You chuckled nervously, your eyes flicking towards Poe for a split second.

"Damn, girl, you're really into the mood to fight anyone today, eh?" Finn laughed.

You glanced back to Poe, seeing him inhale heavily and closing his eyes briefly.

Noticing this, you quickly nudged Finn's shoulder, "Hey Finn, wanna finish our Dejarik round? I beat Poe, but the others are still in it." you urged him.

"Alright. Let's do this." Finn agreed casually and started walking.

You walked closely beside him, looking over your shoulder to see Poe shooting you another warning and his expression turning dark.

Oh no...

#poe dameron #star wars #dark poe dameron #poe dameron x reader smut #poe dameron smut #oscar isaac

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 3 months

Text

02/05/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew; Rhys Cameos; Samba BTS; Samba & Rhys Goofyness; Wee John Wednesday + surprise Leslie; UK Launch; Watch Party Reminders; What We Do In The Shadows; New Watch parties: Love Birds; Articles; Fundraisers; Schadenfreude; Trends; Morale/LoveNotes/MORE RHYS CAMEOS; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

Jeez Louise fam today was a seriously jam packed day! Once again Im worried I'm gonna miss something because there was just so much so please feel free to let me know!

== Cast & Crew ==

The Crew section is a hefty one today, so buckle up buttercup it's gonna be a chaotic and heartwarming ride.

Okay so, yesterday we had that lovely message that was edited from our beloved captain. But then our dear friend @meowzawowaza_ over on twitter released yet another part of the video that specifically went over Rhys' frustrations with the cancellation. Now it's less positive, but as she says, it adds another layer that is helping rally the troops to keep fighting. Here's the thread with the videos. Apologies if you don't have twitter... I don't have a link outside of there at the moment. If I find one, I'll update it here.

THEN because she's awesome, our lovely @lucyrosebutler decided to share the cameo she had gotten previously. Which he ended with, "Yeah, you be you, keep rock'n, and yeah, you be you, and do it loudly."

Before continuing with the cast & crew...

== Kudosboard! ==

Wanna send our lovely captain, Rhys, some kudos and love after all he's given us, especially the last two days? You can do so over on kudoboard.com! Thank you @madzilla84 for making this happen! Get on over there and send our sunshine man some love!

Alright! On to more Cast & Crew.

= Samba =

Samba, our favorite BTS buddy posted a new BTS picture + was making sure to shout out the new S2 out on BBCIplayer today!

= Samba & Rhys =

Then because our entire cast and crew is a pile of goofballs, Rhys and Samba shared this little exchange on twitter:

= Wee John Wednesday Monday! =

And well, then there was Wee John Wednesdays Monday! Where we not only got to see the expected three cast members: Kristian Nairn, Vico Ortiz, and Madeleine Sami, but a SURPRISE guest, Leslie Jones who crashed the Instagram live party.

You can watch the whole thing on Kristian Nairn's IG Here. WHICH I highly recommend because it was an absolute blast and got so many of us pumped and ready for more. Some highlights that absolutely cannot describe the pure and wonderful chaos were:

Rocket Jousting

Leslie fucking every alien in space

Leslie wants to come to a convention

Horny pickle ball

Jenkins is on board for s3 if it happens

They see how hard we're working on SaveOFMD and they said "they deserve it" (s3) and "so do we!"

Mads just randomly runs into Taika on the beach

Gypsy made a chest binder for all Vico's outfits @edscuntyeyeshadow ty for the screenshots here on tumblr

Oh and David Fane popped in because he's a gem of a human being. Thanks @madzilla84 for catching that!

= Leslie Jones + Convention =

PSSSST: Wanna help get Leslie to a con? Go request her on the Galaxy Con Websites! Thanks @insane_foliage on twitter for the suggestions!

= Vico Ortiz =

Upcoming cast events! Sunday Feb 11, 4PM PST, Vico will be interviewing with the lovely Samantha Rei on Instagram Live

= Erroll Shand =

I just, can't get over how amazing Erroll's IG Stories are, and how much he interacts with the goofy fan memes. I love this guy.

== Uk Launch ==

So many people logged in for the UK Launch of S2!!! Thank you everyone! The data teams over at @saveofmdcrewmates are still crunching numbers to show how things went the first day, but we can definitely see #OurFlagBBC trending for a bit!

Also Pink News was tweeting about the launch, and Wee John Wednesday!

Great job everyone-- please keep it up if you have the spoons! Wanna watch OFMD again? You can help support the UK Launch by watching it on BBCIplayer! Once again, if you are outside the US you can get instructions on how to here on @reallygoodplants page, or from this article.

== Watch Party Reminders! ==

= What We Do In The Shadows Watch Party! =

Tuesday February 6th, 9PM GMT, 1 PM PST, 4PM EST

Watch Party Hashtags:

#VamPirates

#SaveOFMD

#AdoptOurCrew

== New Watch Parties! ==

FINALLYYYYY we have a Love Birds Watch Party! Feb 9th - 9 pm GMT, 4 pm EST, 1pm PST.

Watch Party Hashtags:

#AdoptOurLoveBirds

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

==Articles==

So many articles today with the UK launch, including the Guardian again!

What’s On TV This Week: 5th February – 11th February

TV Tonight: It's the Final Series of Curb Your Enthusiasm

Our Flags Means Death fans get TV licence just to watch pirate show

The Best Romantic TV Series to Get into the Valentine’s Day Spirit

8 TV Shows Were Canceled in January 2024, Including 4 From HBO

Why won’t there be a Our Flag Means Death season 3?

= Fundraiser Status =

eSIMs and Sanitary Products for Gaza by Our Flag Makes A Difference is currently at 27% of their goal. If you're looking for a good cause to donate to, these folks have been incredibly transparent about all funds.

@One of the crew, @mcstuffiesphd is selling Jeff stickers as well as other SaveOFMD merch and donating 50% to the Our Flag Makes A Difference group for the above fundraiser.

== SchadenFreude / Trends Time ==

Thank you @btweenhisteeth on twitter for capturing this metric! Looks like WB Discovery is still having a bit of trouble with their stocks. Wonder why that could be?

Other fun trends that popped up today: Thank you @merryfinches catching a shot of the pile of royalty below.

== Morale / Love Notes ==

So normally I just want to say all the things about how lovely you all are, but Rhys posted YET ANOTHER video on cameo tonight, and I feel like his voice is the sunshine we all need. The longer one up, is dedicated to LGBTQIA+ folks with some anecdotes from Rhys' childhood, and another specific to the crew for this show (it's about 3 mins 10 seconds long). Please take a few minutes to go watch them, you don't need a log in or anything for them. It's just worth it to hear our lovely captain say nice things.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

And to end the night, just some silly gifs that maybe sort of but don't quite go together for tonight. Goodnight lovelies, it was a LOOONG day today, please go get some rest. Love you.

#daily ofmd recap #ofmd daily recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recaps #save ofmd #saveofmd #save our flag means death #ofmd #our flag means death #rhys darby #vico ortiz #kristian nairn #madeleine sami #leslie jones #erroll shand #samba schutte #ofmd bts #our flag makes a difference #ofmd watch parties

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short-wooloo · 17 days

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"It makes no sense for Rey to want to be a Jedi/continue the Jedi, she only knows them from stories she has no connection to them"

-a thing a I actually read

first off, this... disdain for the notion that stories can inspire people is just, wow

and there are plenty of reason for Rey to want to be/continue the Jedi

a general desire to do good

a desire to make the galaxy a better place

desire to fix the damage Palpatine did

related, a desire to reject her relationship to palpatine by being the opposite of what he was and undoing his work

a desire to continue/finish the work of Luke and Leia-the ones who trained Rey as a Jedi!

and also Rey does have a connection to the Jedi, she's Force sensitive, that automatically is a connection to the Jedi (yeah yeah, being Force sensitive doesn't mean you HAVE to be a Jedi, but c'mon, be serious, this is Star Wars, its the Jedi)

@nateofgreat you'll get a kick out of this, they also said "by having Rey rebuild the Jedi, they (disney/lucasfilm) are trying to make Rey into ahsoka"

...

Ahsoka

....

the joyless myopic drifter who has done fuck all to rebuild the Jedi and constantly shits on them

By rebuilding the Jedi, Rey is being made into a copy of someone who has nothing to do with the restoration of the Jedi

#wooloo-writes #wooloo writes #star wars #sw #rey #rey skywalker #in defense of rey #jedi #jedi order #anti ahsoka #anti ahsoka tano #ahsoka critical #ahsoka tano critical

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itwillneverbegojover · 11 months

Text

Why Obi-Wan and Anakin being a Force dyad not only makes sense but doesnt contradict canon

First of all: what exactly is a dyad?

A dyad is two physically separate individuals being the same presence in the Force. The only dyad bond that currently exists in canon is, of course, the one shared by Rey and Ben. They have an 11 year gap, meaning two people are not born a dyad, but develop a dyad bond over the course of their life (keep this in mind). They have a lot of amazing and unique abilities that nobody else has (like extremely powerful Force healing* and object transfer), but a few of their dyad feats are also found in the Obi-Wan/Anakin duo.

*Force healing isn't exclusive to the dyad btw, several Force users had this ability, including Anakin and Obi-Wan.

Here are some examples:

they can communicate telepathically from across the galaxy. Neither of them is very proficient at this as they only found out about it way too late, when they were very much enemies and Obi-Wan made himself undetectable (and from the Rako Hardeen arc we know that when he does this not even Anakin can recognize him);

they share feelings, memories and pain through the Force as if they're experiencing them together, as one, at the same time;

during their duel on Mustafar, Palpatine felt that Anakin was in danger, despite them not being nearly done fighting. This could be due to Palpatine sensing the dyad bond being severed, and any Force bond severed is dangerous as it can create a wound in the Force. Palpatine could have been worried about Anakin becoming a wound (tho i personally think that Obi-Wan is more likely to have become a wound instead);

upon realizing Rey and Ben are a dyad, Palpatine says that the dyad bond was "unseen for generations". It technically has been generations since Obi-Wan and Anakin, plus 'unseen' doesnt meant 'non-existent'. Palpatine might simply not have noticed, as "A Force dyad, binding two separate beings together, was not an easily discernible phenomenon." After all he only realizes Rey and Ben are a dyad when they fight him directly and as a team and he accidentally siphons their life force, which is a situation he has most definately never found himself in with Obi-Wan and Anakin;

remember the dyad bond being created over time? Palpatine tried (unsuccessfully) to form a dyad bond with Anakin, meaning that not only he knew about the prophecy of the dyad, but he sought to realize it in himself and, likely, getting rid of Anakin in order to avoid the prophecy of the Chosen One being realized instead. Anakin/Vader at that point had surrendered himself to Palpatine entirely, so there would be no reason for the bond not to be created. Unless, of course, Anakin already shared that connection with someone else;

them being a dyad would explain why Anakin had to die in order to bring balance to the Force, despite having already killed Palpatine: he needed to reunite with Obi-Wan so the dyad could be one again. Rey doesn't need to die because Ben transfered his life force to her. This is also why Ben doesn't appear as a Force ghost: other than lacking the training, he lives on in Rey;

on that note, Obi-Wan and Anakin being a dyad would also explain how Anakin was able to learn how to become a Force-ghost despite having no training at all (Sith cant become Force ghosts so Palpatine certainly didnt teach him). and even in legends, its Obi-Wan who reaches out to him in the space between death and beyond and teaches him the way.

An argument against the Obi-Wan/Anakin dyad is the "Rey and Ben are unique and nobody can do the things they can do" argument. Which is true, they are absolutely unique and we have never seen any character, in either legends or canon, do the things they can do, but I wouldn't consider it a strong argument. Nearly every Force bond is different and unique (some Jedi could create bonds with other Force users, some could create bonds with anyone, some could create bonds with animals, others could only create bonds with their master/apprentice) and the strength of those bonds varies depending on the people who share them.

We only have a single example of what a dyad looks like, in canon, and that is simply not enough to rule out the possibility of other characters having shared that bond, especially knowing how difficult it is to recognize!

Obi-Wan and Anakin could not transfer objects through the Force or touch each other across light-years, but I would argue they never needed to, as they were so inseparable that they were concieved as a single entity by the entire galaxy:

(Revenge of the Sith - Matthew Stover)

And to further confirm the depth of their bond, here is Yoda sensing** the effect of Obi-Wan's death on Anakin all the way to Dagobah:

(There is Another - Gary D. Schmidt, from From A Certain Point of View)

**He sensed Obi-Wan and Anakin clashing against each other as well, describing the fight as follows: "Then the two vibrations met, and their pulses fought across the back of the Force."

Making Obi-Wan and Anakin a dyad would also make the Rey and Ben dyad make more sense: Anakin was created by the Force itself to be the Chosen One as a response to Plagueis trying to create the perfect dark side user and Sith warrior -> Anakin then forming a dyad bond with Obi-Wan, a steadfast light side user through and through -> that bond being severed causing the dark side to take over the light -> Anakin's twin children being equally capable of redeeming him (perhaps another dyad, or something akin to it since they could also do some of the things obikin/reylo can do) -> the dyad being reunited with Anakin's death -> Palpatine is actually not dead so balance needs to be brought back yet again -> Anakin's grandson forms a dyad bond with Palpantine's granddaughter (finalizing what Palpatine had failed to do with Anakin) -> the dyad is fully realized when Ben dies to bring Rey back to life.

This would make Anakin retain the most important role in the story as the Chosen One and the 'patriarch' (word used loosely) of the dyad lineage.

And last, but most certainly not least, Obi-Wan and Anakin lead the Open Circle Fleet during the Clone Wars. The Open Circle emblem, specifically, represented the two of them and the power of their bond: "The heraldic emblem consisted of a yellow circle that was formed by two separate semi-circle arcs. One arc represented Kenobi, the other, Skywalker. The image signified that while they were both two independent halves, together they formed a single entity."

(Revenge of The Sith - Matthew Stover)

#tldr; let people have fun obikin can be a dyad and lukeleia can be a dyad too why not #star wars #obi-wan x anakin #its half past midnight and im still writing this. what is my life #let me know if you want a wound!obi-wan post like this one <3 #dyadposting #force dyad #obikin

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monsoon-of-art · 1 month

Text

Donut Hole - Chapter 20

Silhouette

The fire I began is burning me alive But I know better than to leave and let it die

I'm a silhouette asking every now and then "Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?" I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone So I watch the summer stars to lead me home - Silhouette, Owl City

[(deep breath) been a while huh :') A ton of stuff has happened in my life that really hindered my writing; being moved to full time, my dad having a stroke (he's recovering with no permanent damage) and my PC breaking. But here's a new chapter!! Where Dawn gets involved, and Barry learns of some very crucial things…] [ao3 link]

Dawn chose to hide away in her home, not wanting to leave Jubilife but unable to stand hearing the curious whispers of the townfolk. She tried to keep herself busy; cleaning her space, organizing her things, checking in on her pokemon…

But nothing could keep her mind away from her friend in the medical wing for long.

She lay in bed, her pokemon lounging around the home, reflecting their trainer’s sullen demeanor.

Her Samurott, Riptide, lay by her side and allowed her to nervously pet and pull on her whiskers.

“I wonder…what they did with his Pokemon.” She wondered aloud.

The woman who helped run the pastures was nice enough, but Dawn doubted she could care for Barry’s team. No, they were most likely with Laventon.

Barry was a good trainer. He treated his pokemon back home with love and care, verging into ‘spoiling’ territory, Dawn might dare say. Honey for his heracross, sugar cubes for his rapidash, mangoes and fruits for his Torterra.

His new team…they were strange. Scruffy, dirty, thin looking. Barry wouldn’t willingly let his team look like that. What had they been subjected to in the wilds of Hisui? With no Galaxy Team, no Laventon to find him on a beach-

Her thoughts drifted to Barry himself.

Scruffy. Dirty. Thin. Deeply upsetting. Like a childhood toy nearly torn to shreds, hanging on by bits of thread and stuffing.

Riptide let out an unhappy chitter, Dawn realizing she had been tugging on her whiskers a bit too hard for her liking. “Sorry.”

Her mind wandered elsewhere. Somewhere less sad. Somewhere angry.

Why hadn’t anyone come to her when Barry arrived? Surely someone had to have made the connection; a strange boy her age with outlandish clothes and a gift for training pokemon?

Why did they let him suffer in the cold and the damp and the dark?

If a single person had told her - not even her, if someone had told anyone in Jubilife - then Barry wouldn’t be in the medical wing. He wouldn’t be so thin and dirty and hurt.

She replayed Adaman’s words in her mind. “Because we weren’t totally sure. And I didn’t want to raise your hopes in case it wasn’t.”

And the worst part is…Adaman was right. If they had come to her with a description of Barry, and it wasn’t Barry? She’d be crushed.

Luckily for her mental state, she didn’t have to think about this for long. There was a knock at the door, followed by Rei’s voice, “Dawn? Are you in there?”

Dawn stood to get the door. She had learned not to let her pokemon answer the door anymore, not since her Kadabra answered the door for her once, and then rumors swirled around town about how she had turned into a Kadabra.

She hoped she didn’t look too disheveled when answering the door. It had been a very long day.

Either it wasn’t too obvious, or Rei decided not to comment on it.

“Uhm, the leaders left not too long ago…” he started to say, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I dunno what they said to Kamado, but it was loud. On both ends. But it seemed to have worked, I don't think the commander plans on practicing his fighting moves tonight…”

“Okay.” Replied Dawn, unable to really muster any excitement in her voice. Sure, it was nice that Kamado wasn't going to start suplexing people, but that certainly wasn't on her mind.

“Well, now that things have calmed down, uh, Miss Pesselle says you can come visit your friend. He's not doing so well right now, but she thinks he'll be alright-”

“REALLY?!” She struggled keeping her voice low. “Why didn't you start with that?! Let's go!”

Consciousness was proving to be rather fickle and fleeting. Barry felt himself drift in and out, like the waves on a beach. Awake, not awake. Awake, not awake. Drifting at sea, below the waves.

And being awake sucked.

Every part of his body ached. Even parts that he didn't know could ache. He couldn't even scrounge up the willpower to open his eyes. Sounds were muffled, distant, unfamiliar.

So he would just lay there…aching.

It wasn't all bad. He could sense the presence of someone nearby tending to him, and even if it hurt when they had to change bandages, he knew it was probably a good thing. Cups and bowls were gently pressed to his lips, and even though it tasted distinctly medicinal, he really didn’t care.

And sometimes, when the ache and the pain grew too much, he could feel a warm hand slip into his own and squeeze.

It was comforting. He wasn’t alone. Someone was there with him through it all, here to hold his hand when it hurt.

And Barry would try to smile and squeeze back before drifting, drifting, drifting…

He wasn’t sure how long he spent drifting. Hours, maybe. Days, weeks.

Until one day, he finally opened his eyes.

Barry was in a bed he didn't recognize and a room he didn't know. Things were kinda blurry, and fuzzy, and his head hurt, but it was something.

Breaching the surface of the water for the first time in a while, it seemed.

He hesitantly squeezed the hand holding his own and glanced over to his side.

“... Barry?”

Dawn looked tired. He wondered, numbly, if she had left his side at all.

But she was here. Alive and well and not just a terrible gap in his memory. She had the same eyes, the same face, the same tired smile that she'd give him when he'd do something stupid-

“D-Dawnie.” He croaked, dry lips cracking into a beaming smile. “I did something stupid again.”

“That's OK, dummy. We can talk more about that later.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “How are you feeling?”

He groaned, trying to think of an accurate description. “Numb. Aching. Like a piece of gum left to dry on the boardwalk in Sunyshore.”

Dawn giggled, a beautiful sound that he had grown to miss so, so much. Barry couldn't help but weakly chuckle alongside her.

“Pesselle said it's a miracle you're alive. She said you had a foot in the grave, and a shovel in your hands.” She looked at him, tears welling in her eyes. “I-I was…I was so scared…w-wh…what if you didn't wake up?”

She let go of his hand, trying to wipe away the tears as she began to weep.

“Hey, hey-” he sat up slightly, ignoring the aches and pain, “It's alright! I-I’m fine now! I'm not going anywhere.” A serious look crossed his face. “No one's gonna try and stop me.”

“Th-there was drapion venom in your blood. Pesselle said i-it was a miracle you kept your leg.” She continued to whisper. “You won't be able to walk for…I dunno how long.”

“I've been walking on it for a while! It'll be fine!”

“I think that's part of the problem.”

Dawn gestured for him to lay back down, to which Barry ignored. “I couldn't stop and rest, I was on the run! It's crazy, just listen to-”

He paused. A strange look came across his face, and he grabbed Dawn's hands and held them tight. “I need you to tell me something. Something that only you would know.”

“Barry-?”

“Please. Please. Something only you would know. Please.”

Sadness overtook her features, not directed at him, thankfully, but she clearly felt bad for him, and wanted to soothe his worries.

“When you were little, you wanted to have a big birthday party with a big cake. And you invited the entire class. Your dad asked Elite 4 member Lucian, to borrow his Mr Mime for entertainment. And…uhm. When Mr Mime walked out with your birthday cake, you were so scared that you started crying, and you even-”

“NO! DAWN THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT?!”

“What did you mean then??”

“I dunno! Something deeply personal and special to us??”

“Well you didn't specify! What about the time you got your Halloween costume based on heracross and you asked me to hit you with a branch to ‘prove how strong' you were?”

“No, that's not what I meant either! I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose! Do you need me to fine you?!”

Dawn couldn't help but laugh. When was the last time she had been threatened with fines? She couldn't remember. It felt good, familiar.

For a moment, the medical room walls melted away. They were back home, camping, just teasing each other after a long day of training.

“Do you remember the time you poured yourself a glass of vinegar at a buffet because you thought it was soda, and you nearly barfed-”

“You are! You are doing this on purpose!!” Barry shouted back. “Two can play that game, missy! Don't think I've forgotten about the time our class started singing happy birthday and you were so surprised you started crying!”

“Hey!” She squealed in fake offense. “I did not!”

“Did too!”

“OK, OK, let's stop with the yelling.” Dawn said, pressing him back against the pillows of his bed. “Not sure we want Pesselle to come yell at us-”

“No no, wait, wait, hold on-” a frightened, almost desperate tone crept into his voice. “I know it's you. There's no way. I can trust you.”

“Of course you can trust me?”

“This place is crawling with Team Galactic!” He hissed, “Absolutely swarming! They tried to stop me from finding you, I think they're the reason you're here! They kidnapped you!”

Dawn opened her mouth, but no words came out. She just let Barry continue.

“I haven't seen Cyrus yet, but I've seen Mars and new commanders and Galactic Generals, and they're hellbent on capturing me! This is a universe where Cyrus won, don't you see? There's no civilization, people and pokemon don't trust each other-!” A moment of panic overtook his features, and he frantically looked around. “My pokemon, where are my-”

Dawn grabbed his shoulders. “Barry. Barry.”

“Huh? What, what?”

She took a deep breath. “That's…not right. That's not what's going on.”

Barry also took a breath. “OK. I'm listening. Tell me what's going on, I'll believe you.”

Dawn hesitated. “It's a bit crazy…”

“The last few months have been nothing but crazy for me. Whatever you say, I promise.”

“I think…we're in the past.”

He gave her an incredulous look. “...when I said I'd believe you-”

“Barry!”

“It's just a little hard to believe!”

“Oh, but your theory of being kidnapped by an alternate dimension Cyrus is more plausible?”

Barry tried to think of a retort, but couldn't. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Touche. What's your evidence?”

“Do you remember the history class we took about the late edo period?”

“Yeah, I failed that one.”

Dawn reached into her bag currently on the floor and pulled out a pokeball. “See how it looks rough? These are carved by hand, using apricorns. Surely you remember the pokeball lesson.”

That clicked in his mind. Before the modern manufacturing of Pokeballs was established, people would carve out their own using apricorns. Some could even make special ones with unique traits, but the skill and craft was a dying art.

“I thought…I thought they were poorly made…” he said slowly, softly. Barry shook his head, “That doesn't entirely prove it. If this was a world where Cyrus won, obviously Silph Co wouldn't exist.”

Dawn then gestured to the room around them, which Barry finally began taking note of.

There were no medical devices, not really. Mostly beds, blankets, pillows, panels to give some semblance of privacy, and a sleeping croagunk in the corner.

It did look a little old fashioned, like visiting the Old Chateau, or the homes in Celestic town. The way the wood was carved, the way the paint looked…

“Look at the clothes they gave me!” She continued, taking off a red scarf to show him. “Not fake fabric at all, this is real!”

All of the little inconsistencies, all of the assumptions based on a worst-case scenario. The pain he went through. The pain he caused. It was all starting to climb up his throat.

“Dawn. I don't feel so good.”

“What? Why? Should I go get the doctor? Her name is Pesselle, she's really nice-”

He grabbed her arm as she stood to leave. “I think…I did a lot more stupid stuff than I realized…”

Dawn had an inkling that his time in Hisui was less than pleasant. But the sheepish anxiety in his voice worried her.

“What…did you do?”

The door behind them creaked open. Dawn turned, relieved to see Pesselle carrying fresh bandages. “Ah, good! The two of you are awake. The captain wanted to see him.”

The relief quickly faded when Pesselle stepped to the side and Captain Cyllene entered the room.

And Barry started to scream.

#pokemon legends arceus #pla #rival barry #barry in hisui #dppt barry

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theresattrpgforthat · 8 months

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gundam themed/similar games?

THEME: Gundam

Hello friend! This actually made me go back into my previous game recs and realize that I hadn’t properly tagged my Mechs Part 1 and Part 2 recs - so now you should be able to find them! Out of the games listed there, I’d definitely recommend Disaster/Wing by A Couple of Drakes, Mobile Zero Firebrands,by Lumpley Games, and Apocalypse Frame by Binary Star Games.

Now, let’s see what else we can rustle up.

Last Sentinels, by Jason Price.

The people of AUGUR-V had been cast into the stars, pursued by the vengeful forces of the New Alliance. But one Sentinel pilot still offered them hope. This is their story.

Last Sentinels is a GM-less storytelling tabletop roleplaying game for 3 or 4 players. It focuses on one main protagonist, a gifted young civilian who escapes the besieged planet of AUGUR-V on a titanic starship with their remaining people. They must defend these survivors against overwhelming odds as a vast fleet pursues the ship through their former empire.

But your protagonist is doomed.

Their story will end in death or betrayal when they succumb to the intense pressures of hope, despair, scheming foes and high-stakes mech combat.

Last Sentinels is more focused on the structure of the narrative than it is on the fights between mechs. Because the game is GM-less, the story becomes a negotiation, with the responsibilities of the players depending on where they sit at the table. Another thing unique about this game is the fact that no one player is responsible for any one character. This is because this is a story with one protagonist - similar to Amuro Rey from the original series. The game isn’t meant to tell a happy story - this is a game with a tragic ending. If you want a game that treats the subject matter of war with the same gravity as Mobile Suit Gundam, this is the game for you.

IGNOBLECORPS: Pilots of Command, by Declan Lowthian.

Hello Pilot You are about to embark on your first mission for the glory of Command. We have faith that your training will not fail you, and that you in turn will not fail us. You have your mission. Ready for launch.

IGNOBLECORPS is a game about desperate mech pilots working within a titanic organization spanning the galaxy. Fight for and against Command's control and try to get out alive.

This is a hack of a game called NOBLECORE, a game about metal space fantasy with legendary heroes. This system uses exploding dice pools, which means that when you roll the highest number on any given dice, you get to re-roll for a chance at more success! This is also a collaborative game, so it expects all of the players at the table to generate the galaxy around you, rather than providing you with chapters and chapters of lore. This game reminds me of Gundam because it expects combat to be brutal and desperate - even if the moves are flashy, the war behind them is gritty and dark.

Armored Battle Frame, by Mundos Infinitos.

The WORLD is in a WAR fought with MECHAS. You are a PILOT, shaped to fight, witness to atrocities, bearer of wounds, a tool for victory. This is the story of your dreams and ambitions.

As a pamphlet game, expect Armored Battle Frame to be quick to pick up and quick to play. The designer, Benjamin A. Reyna, is very good at fitting a lot of information into a small space. This game can be played with or without a GM, and it can also be played solo! Mobile Suit Gundam is also listed as an inspiration in the game description. The designer also has another Mech game called Real Robot TechaMech: Professional Level, which uses a game system found among a number of Reyna’s games.

Battle Century G: Remastered, by GimmickLabs.

Express your creativity without mechanical restrictions. The game is effects-based, so how you do something does not matter as much as what you do. And what you do is pilot a kickass Mecha, command a badass Battleship, or ride a terrifying Kaiju.

Employ tactics and teamwork to defeat your enemies. Enemies in Battle Century G are powerful, you'll have to adapt on the fly to their weapons and schemes, watch each other's backs with your allies to ensure no one gets shot down, and employ synchronized combination attacks to defeat superbosses.

Explore a solarpunk future. The setting included in this book presents an environmentalist, inclusive and transhumanist society opposing an industrialist empire with the looming threat of kaiju mechabeasts on the horizon. It is inspired by the likes of Turn A Gundam, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Dune and Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.

Battle Century G boasts fast-paced combat and big powers that make you feel more than competent. It also includes advice on playing for both GMs and players, in what looks to be an effort to make the game as easy to step into as possible, and the themes and setting information allow for a number of societies that look very different from our own - great for speculative fiction.This is a game that is the result of various playtests and previous editions, so it’s less likely to feel like a quick hack and more likely to feel like a full game.

Maharlika, by makapatag.

MAHARLIKA RPG is a technomystic Science Fantasy mecha RPG inspired by Filipino Mythology, centered around Mekanized Weapons or Meka, and their pilots: the eponymous Maharlika.

You will play as these titular spirit-warriors, mavericks, aces, and knights that all swear loyalty to a Datu, one of the CEOs of the Megacorporations, so that you can protect the technospiritual galaxy of Arkipelago.

As a Maharlika, you venture out into space where you will take on dangerous missions, fight for your ideals, hack the spiritual internet that is the Lambat, repel Xenobeings, trade love and resources, and participate in fiestas to survive, thrive, and protect what is yours in the dangerous Starsea.

Maharlika is inspired by a number of mech media, including Mobile Suit Thunderbolt and Iron Blooded Orphans from the Gundam series. The game has two modes of play: Maharlika (narrative) and Meka (mech combat). You’ll use mainly d10s and d20s for these rolls, and add modifiers for skills and stats that your character is strong in. The setting itself is described as technomystical, and the lore is heavily inspired by Filipino mythology, so if you want to really lean into the supernatural abilities such as the psychic abilities suggested in Mobile Suit Gundam’s Newtypes, this might be worth checking out. Maharlika is possibly also the most technically complex game on this list.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Spectres of Brocken, by ehronlime.

Lancer, by Massif Press.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #dnd #game recommendations #asks #mechs

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doodlejoltik · 24 days

Text

the unwinnable game

[~2.7k words. Read it here or on Ao3]

Zugzwang (from German 'compulsion to move'; pronounced [ˈtsuːktsvaŋ]) is a situation found in chess and other turn-based games wherein one player is put at a disadvantage because of their obligation to make a move.

Centuries after their battle atop Mt Coronet, Rei confronts Volo in a nondescript forest, somewhere on Pasio. But the answers he's seeking aren't so easily given.

aka. a continuation of that one dialogue cliffhanger in the Mysterious Stones chapter because I'm extremely normal about these two

///

“There's something you'd like to say, isn't there… Rei?”

Volo turns around and Rei musters up the bravest expression he can.

Now that he's here, he doesn't know what to say first; all his planned questions bounce around his head, clamouring for dominance. Why are you here? How? Since when? You have a Togepi and a Togekiss? Why a tournament? What do you know about the mysterious stones?

Were we ever really friends?

That is, it takes an embarrassingly long time for Rei to respond. In the end, what he says isn’t a question at all. “That Togepi in the ruins was yours.”

Volo only shrugs. He's got a languid smile on his face. “It might've been. She likes running around.”

Internally, Rei is relieved. So he hasn't been seeing things. But he doesn't let it show on his face, and crosses his arms. “Why’d you hide from everyone for months, and only show yourself now?”

“Now, I wouldn't call it hiding,” Volo replies, waving his finger. “This is a big island, and I've made a good few acquaintances here on Pasio already! Perhaps our paths simply didn't cross.”

With the number of times Rei has visited the ruins for mysterious stone research, the odds of that are vanishingly unlikely. “But why didn't you even try? It's not like I've been keeping a low profile.” Of course, the reason is probably something like I tried to end the world and it would be awkward. And that's what Rei needs Volo to say.

The Arc Phone sits heavily in his belt satchel, recording every word.

“Oh, I was just preoccupied. The ruins here are simply fascinating! Even though they're replicas, teasing apart all the ancient cultures used in their construction is such a fruitful area of study. You know me.”

Yeah, I know you. “Find anything interesting about Arceus?” Rei snarks.

“Not particularly!” Volo shakes his head, looking disappointed. Then he perks up, and continues, “Now, Dialga and Giratina however…”

“Oh?” Rei seethes quietly. Of course he had been watching. Why hadn't Giratina said anything?

“It’s curious, isn’t it, how they have seen fit to partner themselves with new wielders?” Volo smiles. “And Palkia too, I’ve heard.”

“It is interesting,” Rei forces out, adjusting his scarf. He recalls Volo's last parting line about Arceus, all those months ago. “Nice to know that they've bonded willingly with people in this time,” he says pointedly.

Ignoring Rei's tone, Volo continues, “That man, Cyrus, who controls Palkia. What a character, wouldn't you say?”

Rei has a lot of thoughts about the Sinnohans’ decision to allow Cyrus - a man who has literally tried to remake the world and not disavowed said goal - to keep the embodiment of Space with him. He'd thought Adaman and Irida had to be joking, at first. What would the Captain think if she saw what her descendant had turned the Galaxy Team into…

“I suppose you see yourself in him.” Rei says flatly.

It's only the two of them here, in the middle of a forest, in the dead of night, so Volo should have no reason to be evasive. And yet -

“Hardly,” Volo laughs off. “Intellectual curiosity, nothing more.”

This is going nowhere. Does Volo seriously think he can fool him again? Probably not - every remark is undoubtedly purposeful, but with just enough plausible deniability to appear innocent. So maybe he just wants to mess with him. Great.

A different strategy, maybe. He’ll surely make a mistake at some point if Rei keeps pushing. “This… tournament that you proposed,” Rei says. “I suppose you're participating?”

“Naturally!” Volo says cheerfully. “Battles on Pasio are done in teams, are they not? Perhaps you'd like to-”

“No.” Rei glares at him. Oh, now, that was going too far. Going to shut that line of conversation immediately.

“So hostile,” Volo sighs. “A united Hisuian contingent would've been a sight to see. Well, the clan leaders should be more receptive, at least.”

“Not if I can help it,” Rei says, crossing his arms. He’s well aware of how childish it sounds, but the thought of his friends falling for Volo’s innocent merchant act, again, is too horrible to consider. Mentally, he rapidly revises his priorities - he has to meet with Adaman and Irida as soon as possible and explain everything. Tomorrow, ideally. Does he have the energy for that? It’s something like one in the morning, right now. He's dead on his feet. But he’ll make it happen. He has to, before Volo does.

But what if he’s already too late? When had Rei last spoken to them? The dance competition, that wasn’t that long ago, right? At least a week, maybe more, his mind supplies. He'd just been so busy… and surely they would have told him if they'd met Volo.

This little anxious spiral must be evident on Rei’s face somehow, because Volo chuckles, stepping closer. “The world doesn't revolve around you, Rei. Not here.”

“You don’t get to act all high and mighty,” Rei snaps. “Not when you’re pulling everyone along on your own strings. I suppose you think you make the world go ‘round.”

But Volo has a point, no matter how much he hates to admit it. Rei’s been assuming he was someone significant to this whole saga. The appearance of the mysterious stones coincided with his and Akari’s arrival to Pasio, after all, so was he really wrong for thinking that?

And Arceus spoke to him first. That had to mean something.

“On the contrary, I simply meant that we’re all on equal ground,” Volo says. For the first time, goes unspoken.

“I’ll still beat you,” Rei vows. He’d done it before, he could do it again. No matter if he was still favoured by Arceus or not. “Because my bonds with my Pokemon, and my friends, are real. And you don’t know what that feels like.” Though intended to be a sharp jab at Volo, instead, a deep bitterness colours those final words.

Volo’s expression twists into something briefly unreadable before it settles into a polite half-smile. “You’re quick to assume the worst of me.”

“Quick?” Rei barks out a harsh laugh. “No, it was exactly the opposite.” He’d been strung along so thoroughly, accepting every strange behaviour as simply one of Volo’s little oddities. Only up at the Celestica Ruins did those allowances start to crumble – and by then, it was too late.

Volo’s look at Rei is one of intrigue. The way Rei's seen him examining ancient ruins, like he's something Volo wants to observe, or study.

And Rei has had it. Enough dancing around the subject, trying to draw it out of Volo; clearly it’s never going to happen. “Is this all just a game to you? You tried to destroy the world! You want me to think you care about anyone?”

Volo raises an eyebrow. “That's a bold claim. Surely if that had happened, it would've ended up in the history books, somewhere.”

Well – okay. The only person who knew what happened was the Professor, sort of. And Cogita. Arceus knows how she found out. But Professor Laventon didn't know half of it, even, Rei had just incoherently vented everything emotional and hurting at him, swore him to secrecy, and then hoped that he'd never have to unpack that again.

Clearly Arceus had other designs.

“We were friends.” Rei’s voice cracks a bit, there; he hates how true it is. “I thought we were friends. But you were going to kill me for standing in your way!”

Volo frowns. “Now, why would I do that?” He takes a few paces towards Rei and smiles, purposefully, grin stretching tight across his face. “I wouldn't want to lose my favourite customer, after all!”

Stumbling backwards to regain the distance, Rei exclaims, “I’ve bought maybe one thing from you. Stop calling me that!”

“Recipient of free samples, semantics,” Volo shrugs, entirely unaffected, and Rei wars with the competing urges to punch him or bolt into the treeline.

“Play dumb all you want,” Rei hisses, “but you’ve already shown your hand. I could tell them everything. You won’t be able to fool anyone ever again.” Least of all me.

Volo tilts his head with a smirk. “Well then, why are you here?” he asks, calling Rei’s bluff.

And though he can’t know that the Arc Phone is listening in Rei’s satchel, Rei realises that his motivations must be laughably transparent. Maybe Volo thinks Akari, or Cynthia, is watching the whole thing from the treeline. The specifics of it don’t matter, really. Rei’s been outplayed from the very beginning.

Volo makes a little movement with his hand. There's a sudden rustle of movement behind Rei, and he whips around, hand on Decidueye's Pokeball -

But it's just Volo's Togepi, who warbles in alarm and quickly toddles past him.

“What would people rather believe in?” Volo says lightly. “The accusations of a boy who jumps at shadows?” He bends down to pick up Togepi. “Or in the innocence of their friend?”

In Volo's arms, Togepi lets out an adorable squeak.

Over the Pokeball on his belt, Rei’s hand is trembling with misfired adrenaline. He carefully drops his hand to his side and raises his head up high. “Cynthia trusts me. I’ve been here for months, and we’ve worked together on the mysterious stones since they were first found.”

“And so?” Volo shrugs. “A working relationship is hardly worth much. I thought you would've known better, with what Kamado did…”

Rei flinches.

The worst part about it all was that no matter what ulterior motives Volo might have had, back then, when he’d been thrown out into the wild with barely a few days’ worth of supplies – Volo had been there for him when nobody else was.

Volo had seen Rei fall apart and put himself back together with forced cheer. And so, he knew exactly where the cracks were, where to strike with his words to disassemble Rei all over again.

Of course Rei knows Cynthia is responsible, and smart, and has been nothing but friendly to him – but he doesn't really know her, does he? And Volo is her ancestor. Which is pretty obvious, honestly. She’d probably like him immediately.

Just like everyone else did. Including Rei.

“Besides, you're not the only one who's been making friends in high places,” Volo adds smoothly. “I’ve heard that Bettie’s word is quite well regarded.”

So now that Rei had wised up to Volo's true nature, he'd gone and found himself new people to use. “You’ve always been like this, then,” Rei huffs. None of it had been real; their entire ‘friendship’ had been predicated on Rei's usefulness. “They deserve to know the truth about you.”

“Truth? Or your own opinion?” Volo scoffs. “You think so highly of yourself, Rei, but you're not the beloved Hero of Hisui here. No…” he smiles. “You're entirely ordinary. Do remember, it was everyone in that stadium who heard Arceus' voice.”

Admittedly, that stings. He'd thought - maybe - that Arceus was finally telling him why He'd brought Rei here. What he was supposed to do in this strange new land. But he'd failed, unable to clearly hear Arceus’ voice.

Rei spares a thought for the Arc Phone, once a vessel for divine inspiration, now reduced to recording mortals’ petty feuds. His messages to Arceus have been left on read for months. He's probably allowed to be a bit petty, at this point.

Volo continues, “Imagine! Any one of us could become Arceus’ champion.” Togepi makes a little noise. “Yes, even you,” he says indulgently, lifting her up to face him, and she goes cross-eyed following his waving finger.

It's horribly cute, the sort of thing Rei would've been charmed by before. And it's clear Volo is no longer taking Rei seriously at all.

What starts out as a wavering thought suddenly asserts itself with startling clarity. “I don't need anything from you,” Rei realises. He'd told himself he was here for evidence, something concrete he could hold against Volo, and that was true. But beyond that, he'd been after something entirely more personal.

He can walk away.

“I don't need anything from you,” he repeats, with force this time.

Volo turns his attention away from Togepi, and this of all things is what finally seems to make him genuinely confused. “Leaving so soon, Rei?”

Rei doesn't elaborate. He turns on his heel to stalk through the forest back to civilisation. Now, because if he says anything more he doesn't know if he'll ever bring himself to stop. Because he's asking for something he'll never get.

Volo's saying something. He doesn't care to catch all the words, though some of it filters through - “challenge”, “tournament”, and “rivals” among them. The general shape of the message is clear. They'll meet again; Rei's powerless to stop that. But as best he can, he'll shake off whatever lingering grip Volo still has on him.

He doesn't stop walking as the trodden earth turns to paved cobbles under his feet, and he makes it all the way up his building's winding stairs to the little studio apartment that he's been given. Home, for now. Collapsing onto the lone armchair, he takes the Arc Phone out of his satchel and turns off the recording. Thank Arceus for divinely bestowed infinite storage, he supposes.

Rei knows that if he were to listen to it, there'd be nothing of use. Only hidden barbs and Rei’s own ugly, wounded anger. It feels fitting to delete it, to banish the whole encounter to memory, and perhaps eventually, less than that.

He doesn't, and instead tucks it away in a folder several layers deep.

Maybe Professor Laventon wrote about the whole disaster in his private diaries. Rei knows he has them, bless the man. He'd once stumbled into the Professor's office late at night, after an exhausting, terrifying escape from an Alpha, ready to tell Laventon off for sending him there – and startled the Professor fiercely, who quickly shut the manuscript he was writing with a blush. So even if Rei had sworn him to secrecy, he might have confided in the written word.

That's something he can set Cynthia on digging up, then. Even just the suggestion that Laventon, the First Pokemon Professor, had such personal writings, would probably send her into an unstoppable research frenzy. That much about her, at least, he knows. If it still existed in this era, Cynthia would almost certainly find it.

And maybe he doesn't need evidence. Not for the people who matter, anyway.

Akari’s only a few doors away, their apartments close neighbours just like back in Jubilife Village. If he wanted, he could wander over there once the sun rose, have her fantastic tamago rice, and tell her everything.

Is he ready to take that step into thin air? To trust that he'll be believed, in something that's infinitely more convoluted and improbable than the simple plea – “I don't know why the sky is red, it's not my fault, I only ever did what you told me to” –

Well. Volo might've been the last one to break his trust, but he was in no way the first.

Can he make good on those words that he’d levelled so confidently against Volo? That his bonds with his friends are real?

Akari had never doubted. And Adaman and Irida had gone against Kamado's will, risking the standing of their people, just to help him. He would be doing them a disservice if he didn't at least try.

And in this dangerous game, it might be the only winning move.

Even as he makes this decision, he feels the pull of sleep. It's offensively late, or early, in the morning now, depending on perspective, and all of this is Tomorrow Rei’s problem.

There's no energy left to even stumble to bed. Rei falls asleep right there in the lumpy armchair, hand loosely gripped around the Arc Phone, Adaman and Irida’s Poryphone numbers on the screen, ready and waiting.

And, though Rei will certainly wake up sore with a crick in his neck come the morning…

For the first time in a long while, his dreams are not restless.

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starblightbindery · 17 days

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Binder's Note for Forms by Trebia

How Forms fits in the long tradition of Star Wars fanfic.

My hope is that this project captures a snapshot in time from Star Wars fandom het shippers between December 2015 and December 2017, before the franchise confirmed any emotional intimacy—if you can call it that— between Rey and Kylo Ren in Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017).

Trebia, then aged 24, wrote and published the first chapter of Forms on Archive of Our Own on December 18th, 2015—the exact release date of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. When posting this first chapter, Trebia noted, “I’m just working off of memory from the one viewing I saw last night.” The entirety of the fanfic was completed and posted an exact month later, making this fic historically significant in Star Wars fandom as one of the earliest published “Reylo” stories.

A serialized novella that was churned out in an astonishingly short time frame, Forms is notable for predicting many elements of The Last Jedi (2017) and The Rise of Skywalker (2019), including the Reylo Force bond, Rey walking away from her training with Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren pleading with Rey to join him, and Kylo Ren pushing his Force energy into Rey to save her life.

Throughout the story, Trebia mashed new and old Star Wars elements together—characters like the Mandalorians and Admiral Daala, settings like Illum and Kuat⁠—evincing her fondness for the Galaxy Far, Far Away. Forms has classic tropes from this franchise, like stealing a uniform to go undercover in an enemy base and the forced proximity of a “Slow Boat to Bespin.” Present in Forms are scads of fan theories from between the release of The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. These included the theory that—echoing a Legends plot line from Dark Empire (1991) where somehow Palpatine returns and Luke Skywalker joins the dark side to try and take him down from the inside—Kylo Ren had strategic reasons for his apprenticeship to Snoke. Like many Reylo fan-works set in-universe, Trebia lends justification to his many antisocial acts, part of shipper efforts to make the character more self-relevant and sympathetic.

Forms weaves in tantalizing threads that were tossed around by fans and concept artists but ultimately not pursued, including Dark Rey, Stormpilot (Finn/Poe Dameron), and Rey's saberstaff. Trebia even predicted the Kuat Drive Yards plot line started in The Last Jedi (Rose Tico’s contempt for weapon's manufacturers on Canto Bight) and continued in the abandoned Episode IX: Duel of Fates script by Colin Trevorrow. Forms also addresses loose ends that probably should have been covered for a more cohesive nine film saga, like the Chosen One prophecy and direct interaction between Anakin Skywalker and Kylo Ren.

No discussion of Forms can be complete without also placing it in the context of Star Wars fandom in 2016. Reylo was a fringe pairing that made intuitive sense to many Star Wars fans, particularly women; however, prior to The Last Jedi, the ship was dwarfed by the popularity of slash ships like Finn/Poe and Kylo Ren/Hux. At the time, many fans theorized that Rey was Luke Skywalker’s long-lost daughter, making her Ben Solo’s first cousin, making Reylo an incest ship.

As noted on the Fanlore wiki, the tags on this fic changed over time. In addition to “Riding the bus to hell either way” Trebia joked with tags like “Possible incest?” and “Not incest until proven guilty in the court of law.” Following the release of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Trebia celebrated by replacing those tags with a celebratory “IT AIN’T INCEST.”

The story's strong influence in early Reylo fandom reflected a hunger for more Star Wars romances about the pull between light and dark. After all, the sequel trilogy did not set up Kylo Ren as a horned, alien-appearing monster or a wrinkled geezer. Unblemished by the ravages of the dark side, Kylo Ren was depicted with pillow lips and a fabulous, voluminous coiffure unencumbered by his helm (which really should have flattened it to his scalp.) The groundwork for a lightsider/darksider romance was previously explored in other Expanded Universe stories. At the forefront of these were watered down lightsider/darkside romances like the tepidly written romance between Luke Skywalker and former Palpatine agent Mara Jade. Given Mara Jade was hardly a champion of the dark side, there was no risk of corrupting Skywalker. But the Expanded Universe also boasted stories that played with this dynamic, like the twisted connection between Fable Astin and Jaalib Brandl by Patricia A. Jackson for the Star Wars Adventure Journal (1994), the conflict between Jaina Solo and Zekk in Kevin J. Anderson's Young Jedi Knights (1996),or the passion between Darth Revan and Bastila Shan in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003). In this respect, Forms and the rest of the Reylo fan fiction oeuvre continues the grand fan tradition of Star Wars villain fucking.

“Darksider and lightsider conflict is one of the most fascinating points of Star Wars,” Trebia said in 2016, when interviewed by Spencer Kornhaber for The Atlantic. “Rey and Kylo represent the fight to find the balance.” Yet, at the time, the fledgling “Reylo” ship was abhorred by affirmational Star Wars fans who despised the emphasis on shipping with a female gaze, as well as scorned by media commentators who found the ship to be “problematic.” In male-dominated, established fan spaces like Reddit and Jedi Council Forums, discussion of Reylo was effectively banned by moderators through the freezing of threads. In other fandom spaces like Twitter and Tumblr, discourse about Reylo mirrored larger purity culture. The ship became a convenient target for alt-right misogynists, and also for anti‑shippers concerned that the ship “romanticized abuse.” Productive and unproductive debate arose around media consumption construed as agreement or approval, whether a sympathetic Kylo Ren lends people to give more latitude to real-life white right-wing men with anger management problems (or if it's the other way around), and if shippers can tell the difference between a fictional antihero and the same dangerous thing in real life. Critiques of Reylo fandom also included the implicit racism inherent in the sidelining of John Boyega’s heroic character Finn in favor of white whiny fascist Kylo Ren. (It did not help that 2016 also saw the election where white American women voters decided to displace a competent Black man with a white whiny fascist.)

In the September 2020 issue of the Journal of Fandom Studies, Andrea Marshall notes that Reylo “fan fiction acts as a locus of resistance to gendered oppression as feminist authors construct selves that critique the source material and the fandom for gendered oppression within tropes and attitudes.” By having Rey actually interact with and befriend a woman other than Leia, Forms already improves on the source material. It's a delight to see Forms depict older women over age fifty who are plot-significant and interact which one another, if only because Star Wars movies are fairly gender regressive. On the other hand, Rey's strategy to convert Kylo back to the light is to uh, suck the badness out of him. It's Padmé Amidala logic—sure, he arranged the wholesale slaughter of an entire village, but he can also deftly finger you to orgasm! Granted, Star Wars is infamously a franchise of excuse making, where really shitty dudes manage to turn it around and do the right thing at the last minute. Forms also doesn't push all that hard to actively resist the neo-fascist allegory in the sequel trilogy, particularly in Trebia's appendix, which dissatisfactorily explains that all of the First Order war criminals in the story ended up as instructors in military academies. (Who would even hire them, Albus Dumbledore?!)

Fics like Forms led to “ship wars” discourse, which led to the publication of ozhawkauthor's “The Three Laws of Fandom” meta essay on January 1st, 2016. “Laws” is a bit of a misnomer since there is no enforcement body; the essay is more of a request for courtesy in fandom spaces. The laws were also meant to apply specifically to shipping, not fandom or media criticism as a whole. “It’s not up to you to decide what other people are allowed to like or not like, to create or not to create,” wrote ozhawkauthor. “That’s censorship. Don’t do it.”

For fans conscious of fandom history and the impact of censorship in spaces like FanFiction.net and Livejournal, ozhawkauthor's guidelines—(1) Don't like; don't read, (2) Your ship is not my ship, (3)Ship and let ship—felt intuitive. This is reflected in spaces like my bookbinding guild, Renegade, which—similar to Archive of Our Own—takes a hands off approach to policing content. This did not prevent widespread handwringing about Reylo content. Star Wars fan ughwhyben reflected on the “gigantic fandom that is suddenly experiencing a renaissance, where an influx of mainstream folk are trickling into (or running into) the fic side for possibly the first time right now and don’t have this training. It’s like we’re flickering back and forth between the modern evolution of fic side fannish culture and what things were like in, for example, 2001 when I first stumbled in.”

Decades ago, in May 1981, Lucasfilm reacted to the publication of “Slow Boat to Bespin” by Anne Elizabeth Zeek & Barbara Wenk by declaring a ban on smut in fan fiction. I've included in the errata of this binding a letter from 1981 written by the Star Wars fanclub president to circulating fanzines threatening legal action. While slash was also caught in this net—disproportionately targeted given non-explicit gay romance was not okay even though Star Wars has non-explicit het romance—it was this fairly tame (by fic standards) heteronormative fic, featuring Han Solo and Princess Leia, that signaled to Lucasfilm that smutty fanfic was no longer on the fringes and now needed to be addressed to protect the “wholesomeness” of the franchise. Subsequently, fanfic writers had to make a conscious decision to flout Lucasfilm’s policy and go forth with propagating their smut.

And, in 2016, of all the ships in all of fandom, it was the Reylo Star Wars pairing, featuring this specific heteronormative female power fantasy (of being able to leash a villain by the dick to drag him back to the light) that led to a communal reaffirmation of these fandom norms. In her interviews with the The Atlantic, Trebia directly quotes from the Three Laws of Fandom, endorsing “ship and let ship” as a basis for creating Reylo fanworks. “I am fully involved in the garbage compactor that is this pairing, and I love it,” Trebia said. “No matter what way it goes, I will stick with it.”

After studying early romance novels from the late 1600s and early 1700s, Ros Ballaster observed a polarity between didactic love fiction and amatory fiction. Didactic love stories are sweet—aspirational, moral, and idealized—while amatory fiction is spicy—erotic, transgressive, untethered from social sanction. We do see representations of didactic love in Reylo fan fiction, particularly in contemporary romance “Modern AUs” like Ali Hazelwood's The Love Hypothesis (2021)where the Kylo's homicidal Sith rage is sanitized to a more socially-acceptable grumpy academic brooding. One can comfortably bring Adam Carlsen, Ph.D home to meet Mother. But certainly, the majority of Reylo fic written by fans gravitate towards and come with the self awareness of the amatory. For one, Trebia loudly proclaims in her Chapter Two author note: “MORE TRASH FOR THE TRASH GOD.”

Discourse over the “morality” of Reylo fan fiction tends to overlook the distinction between the didactic and the amatory. As compelling as the idea of a “Force dyad” is in fantasy, this relationship is not meant to be aspirational in a literal sense. Yet, readers of Reylo fiction were and continue to have to defend their interest in the archetype with disclaimers—yes, it's trash, yes, I know it's problematic—while men in fandom are not held to the same standards when it comes to “problematic” media they consume or enjoy, whether it's a Michael Bay blockbuster film or male-gaze pornography.

As Deborah Lutz notes, “The Dangerous Lover Romance” is a centuries old, conventional way to represent erotic desire and romantic love. The “sublimely tormented Byronic hero” is hardly groundbreaking, to the extent that Rian Johnson's depiction of Reylo in The Last Jedi subverts the trope—at the end of the film Rey isn't enchanted, she's repulsed. The same way Star Wars replicates Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey monomyth, Reylo stories like Forms reflect the broad appeal of the “how-the-turntables” Dangerous Lover romance—where the woman protagonist, initially subjugated by the debased, restless misanthrope, ends up subjugating him through her strength of will and the power of love. Trebia's Kylo even sports malevolent scars like so many Gothic male romantic leads before him—always on the face. In the Gothic romance, the heroine accesses socially undesirable aspects—power, rage, craving, desire—as expressed by her double, the Dangerous Lover. His presence in the story provides a basis for her disinhibition. The Reylo ship follows a well-trodden cultural script of transgressive female desire.

Forms the fan fiction novella is a notable cultural artefact reflecting a distinct period of time in Star Wars fandom. At the time, Reylo fanfic held all the promise of improved representation for women characters, crossed with the instinctual, regressive insistence that maintains a white male character in the forefront. Reylo fan fiction produced in early 2016 also led to the reification of anti-censorship values in fandom. Seven years later, a fandom that was once derided has gone fully mainstream, as fic writers like Ali Hazelwood, Ashley Poston, and Thea Guanzon top traditional publishing bestseller lists. What Trebia knocked out, hours after her introduction to the characters, is now it's own Star Wars literary tradition.

#fanbinding #bookbinding #reylo #reylofanfic #fanfic binding #ficbinding #star wars history #holocron #jedi holocron

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david-talks-sw · 1 year

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Luke Skywalker in 'The Last Jedi' (1/2)

Luke in The Last Jedi... love it or hate it, it's a difficult subject.

I personally stand somewhere in the middle. I don't think Luke was "ruined"... I'd argue that, from a purely in-universe perspective, his subplot actually tracks with what was previously established in the original films.

There are issues, but I think they are mainly found on an out-of-universe/structural level (which I'll get into in post 2/2). For now, let's take a deep dive and unpack why this portrayal isn't all that problematic.

The most commonly-heard argument is that:

"They ruined Luke's character! He would never go into exile or abandon his sister and friends!"

Simply put, Luke used to be:

an optimist

so brave he'd risk his life to save his friends,

aspired to become a Jedi.

Whereas, in The Last Jedi, he's:

jaded and depressed,

hides/abandons his sister and friends, like a coward,

says the Jedi need to die?!

Now the fact is... Luke is 24 years older when he goes into exile, 30 years older in The Last Jedi. People change, with age.

In Luke's case, he matured from an impatient kid who'd rashly run to save his friends, like in Empire Strikes Back, to a grown-up who makes hard choices and restrains himself from doing that, even though he desperately wants to.

Luke tells himself this is a self-sacrifice, this is for the greater good.

"Because he’s the last Jedi and a symbol of that it then becomes this self-sacrifice, he has take himself out of it, when he knows his friends are dying, when the thing he’d most like to do is get back in the fight." - Rian Johnson, The Empire Film Podcast, 2018

And Rian Johnson didn't want Luke to come across as a coward, so he also gave Luke an argument that initially seems to make sense:

The Jedi way is flawed and inevitably leads to arrogance. Proof: the Sith originally came from Jedi. His own new order is no exception to that rule, even if he thought it was (in his arrogance, he believed his own legend).

So if he leaves and stays in exile? No more Jedi, no more Jedi-turned-darksiders that can mess up the galaxy.

The Force will keep trying to balance itself and a new, worthier source will appear (in the form of Rey).

But while his reasoning that "the Jedi are inevitably arrogant" seems sound and reasonable... it's wrong.

Just like Dooku's reasoning that "the Jedi are corrupt" seems sound, but is ultimately wrong.

Just like Anakin's rationalization that "the Jedi are evil" seems sound nope, that one doesn't even seem sound, it's just plain wrong.

Where is it wrong, in Luke's case?

Well, he's rationalizing his actions by blaming the Jedi religion, instead of admitting his own failure.

"The notion of, 'Nope, toss this all away and find something new,' is not really a valid choice, I think. Ultimately, Luke's exile and his justifications for it are all covering over his guilt over Kylo." - Rian Johnson, The Art of The Last Jedi, 2017

"In his own way, [Luke is] trying to disconnect, he’s trying to throw away the past, he’s saying 'Let’s kill [the Jedi] religion. It’s the thing that’s messing us up, thins thing right here, let’s kill it.’ And the truth is, it’s a personal failure. It’s not religion, it’s his own human nature that’s betrayed him." - Rian Johnson, The Empire Film Podcast, 2018

He fucked up, plain and simple.

But it's not because “he’s a Jedi and that made him arrogant and the Jedi mentality is flawed”, as he claims early on in the movie.

He failed because he's flawed. Luke is human and had a moment of weakness where he was scared shitless and acted on instinct.

Yoda's spirit helps him realize this, and he fixes his mistake by allowing Leia and the resistance to save themselves. And as he does it, he acknowledges the importance of the Jedi and their teachings.

And it's also why, in The Rise of Skywalker, he has the maturity to admit that he wasn't staying on the island out of some self-sacrificial gesture, as he kept telling himself. Truth is, he was afraid. Afraid he'd screw up again.

Do the movies go about this in an emotionally-satisfying way? That's debatable. But, on paper, I don't think Luke's behavior in The Last Jedi is too much of a shark-jump considering how

THE ORIGINAL IDEA CAME FROM GEORGE LUCAS!

In the couple of months after the Disney sale, Lucas developed the Sequels with Michael Arndt in late 2012/early 2013, and concept art was made by artists like Christian Alzmann.

Note: the image on the left got a “Fabouloso” stamp of approval from Lucas!

Lucas’ sequels would feature a Luke Skywalker who was a figure like the jaded, reclusive Colonel Kurtz in the movie Apocalypse Now (which, fun fact, Lucas helped write and was originally set to direct).

The reason why Luke was in self-imposed exile wasn’t specified, all we know is that he was:

hiding from the world in a cave,

haunted by the betrayal of one of his students,

and spiritually in a dark place.

Other concept artists, like James Clyne, tried to illustrate the First Jedi Temple and some of the designs were approved by Lucas, such as the one below.

Eventually, Kira the female Jedi-wannabe protagonist (who eventually became Rey) would seek him out so he can train her.

This Luke would be a much more prominent part of Episode VII (instead of only appearing at the end) but still died at the end of Episode VIII.

For sources and more information about George Lucas’ plans for the Sequel Trilogy, read this post.

The only part that wasn't detailed by Lucas were the specifics of why he went into exile. But all in all, this sounds pretty similar to what we got in The Last Jedi.

"Luke would never try to kill Ben!”

I agree. And he didn’t try to kill Ben. He stopped himself.

And this version of the event?

This didn’t happen.

What Kylo tells Rey is his version of the story. And he thinks he’s telling the truth... but his recollection of the event is warped as this was obviously a very traumatic event for him.

"I don't think he's lying actually. In my mind, that was his experience. [...] I think that it's probably twisted a little bit by Kylo's own anger and his own prejudices against Luke, but I feel like he's actually telling her the truth of his experience." - Rian Johnson, Star Wars: The Last Jedi commentary, 2017

The narrative frames the third version of the story as the one that’s objectively how events went down. Because Rey believes him, and Rey is both the protagonist and a stand-in for the audience.

Now, if you think Luke’s word is unreliable and you have an easier time trusting Kylo’s version of the story, go to town.

But I think that if you actually believe would Luke would never try to kill Ben, you’d take Luke's second retelling of the story at face value.

I know I do.

“Okay, but he would never consider killing a child, like Ben. He saw the good in Darth Vader!”

First off, Luke refers to Ben as "a scared boy" because, he's a middle-aged man. But objectively, Ben was 23 years old.

But also, I mean... with Vader, Luke actually had the luxury ignorance.

Do you think would have truly gone on that Second Death Star if he had actually witnessed Vader:

choke his Padmé,

kill Obi-Wan,

actively try to kill Ahsoka,

murder Jedi younglings,

betray and hunt down his other Jedi brothers and sisters,

and cold-bloodedly kill countless innocents, one by one?

There’s a difference between watching him kill Ben Kenobi (who still ‘lived’ as a ghost and talked to him seconds later) and hearing a couple of rebel pilots get blasted in the trench run, and actually seeing all the horrors he’s committed.

Don't get me wrong, Luke knows Vader is evil, absolutely. But if he had seen this side of Vader, the needlessly cruel side...

... I'm not sure he'd have been as compassionate.

Proof: Obi-Wan, someone who deeply loved Anakin (to the point where he could never bring himself to kill him), someone that genuinely wishes that Luke can redeem him... also feels that, realistically, attempting to do so would be pointless.

And hell, even without really seeing all the massacres Vader committed, the second the latter threatened his sister, Luke went berserk and almost killed him!

So the question becomes:

“What could make Luke - trained Jedi Master, long-time optimist and overall compassionate to a fault - consider killing Ben?”

All we’re told is that he looked into Ben’s mind and saw darkness and the destruction, pain, death, and the end of everything he loves.

The specifics are left to our imagination. They could include:

the sight of Kylo slaughtering his parents and Chewie with a smile on his blood-smeared face,

the smell of Han's burning flesh in the air,

the wails of Chewbacca as he's run through by Kylo,

the faint sound of Leia's tears hitting the ground,

the destruction of the New Republic's citizens and planets.

Whatever it may have been, it was intense. Because Force-induced visions are vivid as hell, as has been shown throughout the franchise.

It's not like watching something on a TV, you're there, all your senses are affected in an extremely powerful way.

And the vision Luke experienced scared him so much that even shortly after it, when looking at a sleeping young man, all he sees is that evil monster from the vision. So he tremblingly draws his saber.

But it's evident that Luke wasn't thinking clearly or rationally.

His base emotions had taken the wheel, he was being tempted by the Dark Side.

"He doesn’t give in to the Dark Side, it’s a moment of temptation to the Dark Side. It reminds me very much of when Vader is tempting Luke, when Luke is underneath the stairs in [Return of the] Jedi, lit with that very beautiful half-and-half, the duality of these two sides of him being pulled. And that’s really what that moment is for me, it’s a moment of temptation to the Dark Side for Luke." - Rian Johnson, IGN, 2017

And yet despite seeing all that... Luke catches himself.

It's not the first time that Luke almost does something horrible to a family member and catches himself. Again, 24 years prior, he almost murdered his own father in a fit of rage.

The scene in Ben's hut intentionally parallels that outburst he has in Return of the Jedi.

A terrible future is presented before Luke.

He reacts instinctively, is tempted by the Dark Side.

He snaps out of it.

Even the angle and framing of the shot is designed to match:

tumblr_video

"Some of these parallels are just “it’s a close-up of the same character” but this one was very intentional. It’s why I had him look down at his mechanical hand holding the saber." - Rian Johnson, Twitter, 2019

The only real difference is that, in Return of the Jedi, Luke only comes to his senses after a frenzied onslaught during which he actively tried to kill his own Dad.

24 years later, despite having witnessed that terrible future even more vividly than he did on the Second Death Star, he catches himself merely seconds later. Instead of going on a whole rampage, he stops the moment the lightsaber turns on.

I'd call that "progress".

"But Luke should've learned his lesson and known better than to give in to the Dark Side!"

Resisting the temptation of the Dark Side is by no means a one-and-done thing. It's not a power-up that you get, it's a constant struggle.

"I think it disrespects the character of Luke by treating him not as a true mythic hero overcoming recurring wounds & flaws, but as a video game character who has achieved a binary, permanent power-up." - Rian Johnson, Twitter, 2019

Dave Filoni says so too.

"In the end, it’s about fundamentally becoming selfless, moreso than selfish. It seems so simple, but it’s so hard to do. And when you’re tempted by the dark side, you don’t overcome it once in life and then you’re good. It’s a constant." - Dave Filoni, Rebels Remembered, 2019

Hell, even George Lucas stated something along those lines:

"The Sith practice the dark side and are way out of balance. The Jedi aren’t as much out of balance because they’re the light side of the Force. They still have the bad side of the Force in them, but they keep it in check. It’s always there, so it can always erupt if you let your guard down." - George Lucas, The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020

Learning the lesson once doesn't mean you've learned it forever. Especially with the Dark Side, which poses a never-ending battle.

In-universe examples: Anakin learned to let go of his attachments during the “Padawan Lost” arc of TCW.

A year and a half later, he’s butchering kids because he can’t let go of his attachments.

And during wartime, Yoda found himself repressing his darker instincts and ignoring their existence. Thus, when he had to face them, he struggled to acknowledge and control them.

So considering Luke didn't go "rampage mode" with Ben, as he did when he tried to kill Vader, I think he deserves some credit.

Finally, I've heard this insane argument many times, as a response to the above points:

"Yeah but Luke wasn't actually trying to kill Vader! He was holding back, he was trying to keep him alive!"

And, uh... no. He wasn't.

He lost his shit, folks. And almost killed Vader.

Like, right here?

⬆️ If Vader hadn’t moved his saber to intercept Luke’s blade, Luke would’ve stabbed Vader in the face.

⬆️ If Vader hadn’t held his sword up in time, SWISH, there goes the top of his helmet AT LEAST, if not the rest of his head.

⬆️ If Vader hadn’t dodged he’d be chopped in two.

⬆️ If Vader’s arm gave out slightly sooner, if his blade faltered just a little lower, if he loosened his grip on his saber a bit, Vader would be cleaved in two.

My point is that if you swing at someone with a lightsaber? They’ll get chopped. And if you aim for the head or the chest? You’re trying to kill them.

Before Luke got a grip, throughout that whole rampage, the only thing that kept Vader alive was his own skill.

Otherwise, Luke would’ve murdered him in a fit of rage.

If Luke was holding back, then the theme of "resisting the Dark Side" completely falls apart.

There's no indication that he was restraining himself, in he script.

And just look at the imagery.

Luke is surrounded by darkness, symbolizing how he's being seduced by the Dark Side, he's being tempted to give in to his anger towards the man who hurt his friends and took his hand.

Then Vader threatens Leia.

And the next time we see Luke, he's silhouetted, his face is all black.

Luke was originally trying to hold back and talk Vader down, but fails to control his instincts and gives in to fear, to anger, to the Dark Side... and goes all out.

He swings at his father furiously and keeps swinging, until he cuts off Vader's hand... and he is about to deliver the final blow…

… when he sees Vader’s mechanical hand and realizes that by giving in to his anger, that path will inevitably lead him to become exactly like this half-machine half-man laying at his feet. That’s where the path to power leads.

And so he makes a decision:

He’s a Jedi. Like his father before him. His compassion for Anakin is stronger than his hate for Vader.

That's the narrative intent.

It has to be.

Because if he had been "holding back" throughout that entire bit, then the stakes are lowered immeasurably, John Williams' saddening score is misplaced, the lightsaber choreography is misleading, etc.

For the above-listed reasons, I think Luke's portrayal in The Last Jedi doesn't really contradict anything in the previously-established lore. It works, it's the typical "old cowboy needs to get back in the saddle" trope. Frankly, I can defend this subject all day long... so where's the problem?

The problem comes in at an out-of-universe level. While it's not inconsistent... it's also not satisfying.

The thing is, if you...

... take one of the most brave and optimistic characters in the franchise, then open the film saying "well, now he's jaded and in hiding", without giving us context on how he became that way...

... take a character whose arc was specifically about controlling his emotions, then show him be ruled by those emotions without providing context for what made him do that...

... then that kills the suspension of disbelief, for a lot of fans.

And, as such, they'll have a much harder time going along with what you're saying.

Because "show, don't tell" is one of the most basic principles in visual storytelling. And we weren't shown:

"Ben being increasingly violent during training",

"Luke sitting Ben down and having a talk with him, only to be ignored" or

"the horrors Luke saw in Ben's head".

I have no doubt that those things happened, in-universe.

But if we're talking about a movie-going experience, many were left emotionally-unsatisfied.

Because all that stuff was in there... but only subtextually. It was up to the fans to imagine on the details. Normally, I'd argue that's what Star Wars is all about: allowing fans to dream and think outside the box. But in this specific case, I think many fans would've rather had a more complete and explicit story. Because it's Luke Skywalker.

And yet... even these structural and writing issues had a logic behind them, and if you ask me... there was no other direction that this story could be taken in.

We'll explore this in more detail in part 2/2.

#Luke Skywalker #The Last Jedi #Rian Johnson #Star Wars episode VIII #star wars #jedi order #meta #long post #Ahch-To #in defense of the jedi #episode 8 #Ben Solo #Kylo Ren #Mark Hamill #star wars sequel trilogy

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beskarinhyperspace · 11 months

Text

A Ripple In Space

Silly girl, I need you alive..

More Chapters | Masterlist

1. More Air

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

wc.3.4k

You have been kidnaped and brought on the finalizer where you meet the famous Kylo Ren. The one who brought so much fear and destruction to the galaxy. Not being able to know the truth about your identity, he keeps you imprisoned on his ship.

[Kylo Ren x femReader]

*Canon Divergence, slow burn, softdom, hurt/comfort

**Kylo is supreme leader, Rey? we don't know her..

Tags; slow burn, fluff, eventual smut, angst, comfort, touch starved kylo, fools in love, shy/insecure kylo, he needs a hug, feelings, top kylo ren, reader insert, no y/n, female reader, pet names.

+ Italics are thoughts. +

The night was cold, like all the previous ones you've had since you embarked on the finalizer. It was by far, the biggest ship you've seen from all your years fighting against the first order. You just wish you could explore it, especially since you’re trapped in a cell right now. All this big and spacious spaceship and you're stuck in this shoebox. You were sitting on the bed with your back against the wall when you hear a voice coming from across the room. “Hey, get up..” and you do, walking towards the door. Gawking at the sight of the two stormtroopers waiting for you. One of them unclips a pair of handcuffs off his tool belt. Which makes you roll your eyes to the sight of them. Sighing as you present your wrists so they can put it on you. Wondering where they were taking you this time. You never knew what leaving the cell had in store for you. Maybe today was finally the day you get to walk out free or worst, killed. As you begin to walk, your feet felt heavy navigating the corridors as you follow their fast pace. You didn’t get the chance of coming out of your cell very often, so you didn't really know what to expect on this ship. Especially since you've been here for months and nothing major has happened yet. It doesn't help that no one is giving you any information. Only getting the essentials. Food, water and a shower here and there. You see the soldier on your left pressing a button on his arm. Feeling a bit nervous arriving in front of a massive double door entrance, parting as you were approaching it.

The room was echoing, windows were covering the walls almost in its entirety. You were able to see ships arriving and departing the docking station from the other side of the vessel. The room was dark and mostly empty. There was a sofa back to the wall near the door and a desk with only two seats in front of it. Walking closer to the desk, you see a tall man standing near it. Staring outside the window facing the view in front of him.

The man was broad and intimidating. Everything he was wearing was black and made of leather except for his cape who seemed to be made of wool. As you are approaching, he turns around slowly. Immediately you noticing the mask covering the man's face. You try to swallow your nervousness, but it’s getting stuck in your throat. It’s him..

“The one you asked for, sir.” one of the soldiers say.

The stoic man simply nods to the troopers who are now walking away. Your hands were getting wetter as they left, leaving you alone in this grand, dark and empty room with him. He remained silent as he walks towards you. Looking at you up and down. You felt scared, but mostly uncomfortable by his awkward gaze. “Why am I here?” you finally ask, no longer able to keep the tension going.

He tilts his head, “why do you think you’re here?” speaking through his modulator in a calm yet playful way.

“I don’t know you tell me.” Slowly getting impatient. You were on edge by the lack of clues you're getting in this hell hole.

He takes a hand, coming closer to your face and closed his eyes as he starts to focus. What is he doing? He's freaking you out. Suddenly you feel it tingling. A vibration trying to push itself into your mind. What is this? You hold as much as you can. Is he the one doing this? After a moment, realizing that he can't get inside your head. He looked surprised, almost shocked but he can't let you know that. “I know what you are and what you do. I know everything there is to know about you.” he claims firmly.

Your eyes rounds up to his words. If he knows, you need to warn the others. So many lives could be at risk. You need to play dumb, say something.. “I think you have the wrong person here sir. I don't even know what you're after.” You reply trying really hard not to cough as you feel the anxiety coming back to your throat.

In a quick movement, he throws his arm up, extending it in your direction. You begin to feel a weird sensation passing on your stomach before it slowly moves to your chest. The warm yet soft touch, crawls upward to envelop your throat. You can feel it tightened as you’re being dragged across the floor. Having no control over your body whatsoever before it brings you right in front of him. Floating mid-air, feet slightly above ground. The invisible force around your neck was preventing you from breathing. Feeling your chest compressing as you try to reach out for air. He holds his hand firmly in your direction before he starts to walk towards you. “Do you take me for a fool?” voice laced with anger. You couldn't place a single word even if you wanted to. Your face was becoming redder by the second from the lack of oxygen in your lungs. On another hand, the supreme leader seemed to be enjoying watching you suffer at his mercy. “You and your little friends won’t be the end of me. Mark my words, I will kill them, I will kill them all!” He yells out to you. His voice-corder cracking to the intensity of his outburst. You were still struggling to breathe. Panicking as you were trying to remove the invisible hand wrapped around your throat.

Noticing that your breathing is slowly slowing down. He lets go of his grip as he's watching you fall to your hands and knees. No longer in the air, you were desperately searching for your breath. Feeling your throat dry and in pain, you cough a couple of times before speaking. “Sir, no one wants to come at you..”

“What are you talking about?” He asks confused.

You look at him from below, taking a deep breath before pulling yourself back up on your feet. “I’m saying that everybody is scared of you, why would anyone try to come directly at you..” saying to him as if it wasn't obvious.

Which pissed him off more, “That’s not what my sources have told me. If you want to get out of here alive, I suggest you change your attitude.” Now moving closer to you. He gently pushes a fallen strand of hair framing your face, back. You can hear the static of his modulator as he whispers softly into your ear, “It would be such a shame to kill such a pretty girl, but I wouldn’t hesitate..”

You felt incredibly small and powerless as you try to control your shaking body. Why do you suddenly feel so hot? It's not like you knew what he looked like underneath his mask. Maybe he was ugly, could you imagine feeling this kind of way about a super old crispy man. Chills were rising up your back. While you were anxiously trying to recenter yourself, all you could hear were his muted modulated chuckles. “That’s enough for today.” he says, pressing a button on his arm. The hissing sound of the door sliding open echoed in the room, seeing the same soldiers reappear. “Take the girl back.” He orders them cold and firm.

As he’s about to turn around you can see him moving his fingers slowly. Feeling the same previous sensation going down on your stomach before it moves to the side of your hip and thigh. You don’t have time to process what is happening as you’re being quickly picked up from under both of your arms. Your feet didn’t touch ground once as you were dragged back into your cell.

Being thrown inside of it, you see a plate of food waiting for you. Although upon seeing the supreme leader today, you were now more afraid than ever to eat it. Scared it might've been poisoned but you didn’t care. You had too many emotions going on inside of you to have any kind of appetite right now. As you move directly towards the bed, you get under the covers before hiding yourself fully underneath. The complete silence of your prison cell was making you crazy. What do I do? What can I do? He might be wrong about a detail or two, but he knew you did something and that is still too much for him to know. You cry as you start to shiver a little. The room wasn’t even that cold anymore, but you couldn’t help it. Feeling completely drained by your day. You could’ve died today, and no one would’ve have known since no one knew where you were. All you could think about was your sister. Wondering if she was okay. You knew she was probably at home well and alive. Trying to convince yourself of that fact was doing very little to comfort you. You were way too overwhelmed to have any rational thoughts right now. The lack of human contact and basic needs were killing you inside. The last time you saw her was two, three months ago? You didn’t even know how long you’ve been here. Having no clear indication of time really played with your sanity at this point. The days were all starting to blend together but tonight thinking about her helped a little.

Three days has gone by since you touched the food, they brought to you in daily. On a normal day, you just stayed in bed creating songs or searching for flaws inside the cell. There was a small window letting you see the outside, but the ship hasn’t really moved. Which gave you the same view for days now. You were talking to yourself aloud when you see a stormtrooper enter your cell. He tilts his helmets looking at you before walking around the tight space. Looking like a mad man as he searches out your bunk. Throwing the covers off your bed as well as the mattress. Shocked and in fear, you try to make yourself as small as you possibly can. Pushing yourself back into a tight corner. Trying to remain calm as he does his checkup, not wanting to interfere. “All clear.” you hear him speak simultaneously pressing a command on the side of his helmet. You watch him walk away relieved as you let out a blow of air. You don’t know what he was looking for but you’re for sure happy they didn’t find it here. That was the first time something like this ever happened since you're here. Useless to say that you were freaking the fuck out. After a moment of attempting to relax and calm yourself down. You thought that refusing food would've been harder. Dying by famine was probably not your best way out but you were content with it. You just wished you could see your sister one more time before leaving. On another hand you'll see your parents again which you miss painfully. You had less energy as time went by, so you tried to move as little as possible to conserve your energy. Lost in your thoughts, you jump as you hear the swooshing of your cell door sliding open again. Forcing you to straight up to the guard who doesn’t need to talk for you to understand as he shows you a pair of handcuffs in his hand.

Once they were on, you start walking the corridors. Curiously looking at the other troopers roaming the ship. You recognize the path you were taking. It is the same one you previously used to see the Supreme Leader. Quickly recollecting what happened the last time you were in his office. His hand chocking you as you were floating in the fucking air. That’s it I’m going to die tonight..

Arriving in front of the grand double doors, the soldier's halts. The one on your right moves his hands closer to your arms, removing your restraints. Gesturing with his helmet to get inside. Are they not going to follow you inside? Now this is weird, you truly have no idea what to expect anymore. He probably regrets not killing you the last time he had the chance. Maybe he simply wants to talk to you. That's a possibility, right? Either way you were stressed. You didn’t want to find out, you didn't want to be here at all. If you were to die on this ship, you'd prefer it to be alone, safe and peacefully thinking about your loved ones.

As you walk inside the darkly dimmed room, you slowly move cautiously. Hearing the supreme leader breathes as if he was near you. Although you can clearly see him from across the room. He was looking outside the window just like the last time you were here.

“Why are you not eating?” voice cracking from the electronics of his voice-corder.

You stay firm, trying not to show fear, “Is this what this is about? Why do you care if I live or..”

He turns around sharply cutting you off, “Silly girl, I need you alive..” now raising his voice at you.

You roll your eyes to him before he starts rushing towards you. Coming to you way closer than you would've liked. You prepare yourself to choke as you see his hand moving towards your face. Your blood becoming cold to the knowledge of your apparent death. Dropping a single tear along your cheek thinking about your sister, leaving her to be reunited with your parents.

Instead, you see him bring his finger up to catch it. Talking low and soft in contrast to his previous outburst. “I’ve been trying to read your mind, but you’ve seemed to have closed yourself to the outside. Sadly, I don’t know if I was misinformed by my sources but until I find out, I need you to eat and keep your attitude in check. Surely you can manage to do that?" asking you as he pushes your hair off your shoulder. You don’t dare to speak, simply nodding as a confirmation. Maker how long will he keep you here? He takes his thumb to softly caress your bottom lip with the tip of his gloved fingers before quickly pulling his hand away, clenching it into a fist.

You can hear the crinkling of the leather. As he’s about to turn away, you stop him, “Then why have you tried to kill me last time..”

He stays still, puzzled by your question. “Why do you have a death wish?”

You can hear the smile in his tone as you keep yours neutral. If you're trapped on this ship you need to find out why. Yes, he can't read your mind but why does he need to anyway? You can't possibly be this valuable to him. Maybe you can make him open up by pushing him a little. “I don’t, but I would’ve liked to see the face of my killer before I die..”

He tenses up to your statement not knowing what to really think of it. “Is there a problem with my helmet pretty girl?” asking arrogantly.

Did he just call you pretty? No stop that, you need to stay focus here. You lock your eyes to were you think his are through the helmet. “No, I just think that only cowards cover their faces. Especially when they kill..”

You hear him breathing hot and heavy. Thinking that you've finally done it. He’s going to lose it and kill you on sight. Instead, he removes his helmet in a quick single motion. His eyes looked tired with bag under them, pained as he’s staring into yours intensely. You wondered what happened to him. His eyes were so soft yet so lost. Your face starts to relax as he remains silent. Giving you time to observe and analyze him like he did with you. His lips were twitching as if he was fighting to stay calm. When he sees yours slightly parting as if you’re about to speak, he begins walking straight to you. His cape moving stiffly behind him. Now being able to smell him from the proximity. You were probably too afraid last time to notice it. Smelling a clean scent mixed with leather and metal as he gets closer to you.

“Are you satisfied?” he demands, his voice vibrating and shaking a little. Oh yeah, he's anxious..

You only nod to him in response. You had to admit, he was truly something. You were honestly stunned by his features. How can he be this beautiful? That can't be the supreme leader, right? He wasn't old like you did previously guess. No, you were wrong, he was actually cute. He seemed a bit older than you which you didn't really mind. He had long raven hair going almost to his shoulders. His curls looked soft even pushed back away from his face. He was large and tall, especially compared to you. Slowly leaning to your lips, you feel his breath tingling your jaw as you close your eyes. You don't know why but you're ready to let him do whatever he's about to do.

“Good” he replies simply quickly pulling himself away.

You open your eyes extremely confused. Did I do something wrong?

“Come get the girl..” You hear him speak eagerly between breaths into his wrist.

In a matter of seconds, you see the doors opening while he stays unmoved. Taking a moment to stare at you before putting his helmet back on, turning away to go back to his past position. You try to stop the soldiers from picking you up like last time, but they still do. You protest saying that you can walk by yourself and that they're hurting you but one of them reaches to his hip. Unclipping a glowing stick from his belt. All you can hear is the quick sound of electricity before letting out a cry of pain. The adrenaline caused by the high frequency voltage was debilitating. Making you fall automatically to the ground, moving your knees instinctively fast to your stomach. As the guard was about to strike you with another hit, you hear the static of a modulated voice. “What are you doing !?” He yells to the soldier.

The man appeared lost, not knowing what he did wrong as he looks to his partner. The supreme leader extends his arm, throwing him into the wall before turning to look at the other. “Just bring her back..” He orders him, speaking through his teeth angrily.

Back into your cell, you were lying on your bed trying to calm yourself down. You were still feeling dizzy from the attack. Although all you could think about was the supreme leader. He was leaving you with more questions than answers. He was hot, then cold.. He almost killed you, but then he needs you alive. He is violent but then talks to you softly. The way he looked at you, you could've sworn he wanted something from you or was it all in your head?

What does he want?

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