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sincethegenesis · 3 months

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I think it's a slippery slope to use "abuse victim" when violence is so engrained into Cybertronian culture in general. Like, we have definitions of abuse in human contexts - but when is punishment considered too excessive to strong, powerful, robotic aliens that can have their parts swapped out? It's cyclical abusive violence to us, but what is it actually to them? It's one thing to say Megatron has more power, but Starscream also comes from a place of privilege. Megatron (as a gladiator) learned to resolve conflict through violence. Violence is very much something that gives him value and identity. Starscream came from a position where he looked down on people like Megatron, and likely this entitlement and privilege still serves him/motivates him to think he should have what Megatron has through whatever means. Violence is worth it if he gets what he wants in the end. To me, this doesn't fit the abuser/victim dynamic because they both have something to hold over the other. I'm curious as to your opinion, because to me it's literally two fucked up people fighting over power and control.

I’m not sure whether you’re referring to ‘abuse victim’ in the context of Megatron or Starscream, because I think I said they both were at different points…or if you meant just the term in general. Sorry. But overall, I’ll see what I can explain!

The whole culture is just fucked up. I mean, Megatron growing up where violence was widely accepted and expected of him doesn’t mean he was any less mistreated by the people who put him in that position. The whole point of his battle for reform was to eradicate that sort of mistreatment, but he perpetuates it even further. Groups within Cybertronian society are aware that the violence and mistreatment is bad…so they are aware to some extent that abuse is real. And it’s very similar to what Starscream went through. Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s right, sort of thing.

And obviously, yes, humans are going to view the show from a human lens. And considering the human input that is canon in the show, I don’t think it’s far off to interpret things that way.

It’s not a slippery slope to use abuse victim in my opinion — I think it’s more harmful to deny it. The relationship is incredibly complicated, sure, and it’s not your cookie-cutter representation on what abuse has been popularly portrayed to be. But you can piece your body together, again and again, by virtue of being mechanical and robotic and still suffer the long-lasting effects the mistreatment caused you. Abuse victims aren’t defined by how well they can recover from its effects, or if they experience them at all. It’s about what objectively happened. Which in this case is multiple beatings and verbal humiliation. (Edit: Starscream was also hospitalized for a considerable time, and Knock Out stated that Starscream’s antique construction made it difficult to provide replacement parts. So in certain cases it’s not as simple as swapping out parts.)

Megatron was dealt very similar controlling, violent mistreatment within the gladiatorial ring and energon mines, so though violence is all he knows, there’s also a part of him that knows it’s wrong. His whole Galvatron arc In Megatron’s case, when he realizes what he was doing was wrong. And generally, he makes himself the oppressor so that he can’t be oppressed by others again.

Again, if Megatron can be a victim of unjust circumstances, and both the narrative and the fanbase can accept that, then so can Starscream. (Again I wasn’t sure which one you were referring to, or if you meant the term in general. But by wide consensus abuse does exist in the TF universe)

As for the privilege bit. Yes, Starscream was privileged on Cybertron before the war. But unless I missed something in the books, I believe Starscream operates under a more, ‘I inherently deserve power for myself, and I use my achievements to enforce that’, rather than a strictly classist worldview. He uses everything from frame type, his past positions, his strategic experience, etc. to portray himself as more qualified, and if he can’t portray himself as such, he’ll try to prove people wrong. That’s my personal interpretation of the character, anyway; I can use canon to support my theory if you’d like. I would genuinely appreciate hearing you flesh out the privilege bit more, because while I don’t deny its previous existence, I have complicated feelings about how much it still influences the relationship when Starscream is so far removed from his actual position of privilege. (Being commander doesn’t really count; his life is still dictated at Megatron’s discretion). I could only see his position of power leveling the playing field when they are on Cybertron, where he has an armada to enforce his otherwise empty title.

Starscream is 100% an entitled brat who gets on Megatron’s (and everyone else’s) nerves. But he’s viewed as more of a nuisance than a threat. Because he doesn’t have anything to support his claims of grandeur. He doesn’t actually have anything to hold over Megatron’s head…anymore, at least. That’s when the situation devolves into an imbalance.

But I see how that conclusion could be made, since I know he’s prejudiced against pretty much everything that isn’t a high-class energon seeker (and even then, I’m pretty sure he would find an excuse to deem himself superior. lol.)

But seriously, if I missed something about where that happens, I’d like to hear about it.

It absolutely is two people fighting for power and control. Overall in their relationship, they’ve managed to one-up each other at some point or another. But Megatron outclasses Starscream in many areas that align with abuse criteria (?? not really sure what to call it). His influence and power over the Decepticon army only enforce his physical might. If Starscream were to abandon the cause, Megatron would have no issue ordering his termination and capture…it would only depend on Starscream’s evasiveness whether that were to occur. Power imbalances are key factors in abusive relationships: inability to escape, fight back, reach out to others. And with how human-like other Cybertronian traits are, I don’t see how abuse would be viewed as drastically different.

Again this is all my opinion and interpretation. I have evidence to support if you’d like but nothing is set in stone.

This was fucking horribly written I’m so sorry anon, lol. But if you’d like to explain your viewpoint more I’d love to hear it and help expand on my own as well, since I don’t think I did this answer justice. And thank you for my first ask :)

#ask #this was actually interesting and helped me flesh out some points I hadn’t thought about #tfp starscream #tfp megatron

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kenren · 1 year

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The Great Hunt ❄ Aokiji (Kuzan) x Female Reader ❄ Chapter 1 of 7

I cannot tell you now; When the wind's drive and whirl Blow me along no longer, And the wind's a whisper at last— Maybe I'll tell you then— some other time. The Great Hunt, Carl Sandburg

A story of departures and returns. And sex. Of course there's sex.

.・゜゜・Author notes: I'm finished writing this fic; it's 9 chapters (7 on Tumblr) and about 12k words. I somehow want it posted before I move in a week so I'll probably be posting 1 to 2 chapters a day lol. Big shout out to @thehanging-gardens for feeding the Kuzan thirst.

.・゜゜・This chapter is SFT; enjoy it while you can.

.・゜゜・Selected AO3 tags for context: Kuzan ends up working with the Revolutionary Army at some point, Reader is an editor for the Marines but leaks documents because she's not a cop, "Navy" and "Marines" are used interchangeably, Author has no idea what's going on in One Piece, So if this is non-canon-compliant eat my shorts I guess

.・゜゜・

“...Nasty business.”

“Yeah.”

“Disgusting, really.”

“...Yeah.”

You eyed the report Kuzan had placed on your desk with disdain. Not a week had passed since the Summit War of Marineford, and you sat in your makeshift office in one of the Navy’s makeshift interim headquarters, surrounded by box after box of complaints and excuses. The Marines admitted no wrongdoing in regards to the war, but with the guilt and desperation that bled through in their poorly-written accounts of what actually happened, it didn’t make much of a difference.

Few people could walk away from watching a kid of no more than 20 bleed out in his younger brother’s arms and feel good about it.

Akainu was one, you supposed.

Kizaru was impossible to read as ever.

And the third admiral—

The third admiral was standing in front of you now, eyes pinned to the title of a report on another stack of almost-identical reports that you were meant to review and edit for grammar and style.

You couldn’t help the flood of resentment that struck you upon remembering that the man in front of you was out in the field, capable of influencing the course of events in real time while you were stuck cowering behind your desk, praying for his safety and for the whole situation to somehow disappear.

You stared at Kuzan a moment longer and gritted your teeth. “You agree, but you participated,” you hissed.

His eyes snapped to you. He looked mildly startled, but not particularly surprised, already aware of your shared proclivities and the gray area in which both your loyalties lay. “Don’t be like that. You know I didn’t have a choi—you know I had to.”

“But you did have a choice.”

“I caught myself already; thank you very much.”

You barked a bitter laugh. “One more ‘just following orders’ to add to the stack, eh? Somehow you struck me as better than that. Well, sometimes.”

“...Sometimes. When I can be better.” Kuzan turned away once more, and the hideous fluorescent lighting of your office caught on the dark circles lining his eyes. His face seemed gaunt, the sharp angles of his cheekbones cutting more insistently at his skin. “I’m fighting, you know.”

The battle between your sympathy for the colleague you had grown to love and your sense of justice—just the word left a bad taste in your mouth now—was settled with an inconclusive sigh. “I don’t think I can ask whose battle while we’re within these walls.”

His lip quirked when he looked at you, but the exhaustion didn’t leave his face. “Quite a bit thinner than the walls at Marineford, eh?” After a long beat of silence, he ripped a corner off another useless report and leaned over your desk to jot something down. “Meet me there. Tonight at 8.”

#one piece #one piece x reader #aokiji x reader #kuzan x reader #i can't be assed to put any more effort into formatting this LOL just take it #idk if i should tag this as anything else #aokiji #kuzan

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anticomedygarden · 10 months

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some people say they will never believe another promise they hear in the dark

Cash just got off a sudden eight hour flight. He is soaked and tired. Somehow, that isn't his biggest problem, but Shaan may have some comfort to offer.

(or that night at Kensington from Cash's perspective)

also posted on ao3

title from billy joel's 'an innocent man'

all of the dialogue between the beginning and them actually entering the palace is taken from the book, and because it is killing me not to properly cite it:

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: Collector's Edition: A Novel. St. Martin's Publishing Group, 2022.

As soon as they pulled up to Kensington, Cash and Alex stepped out of the car into a downpour, and Shaan, the bastard, was the only person standing in the way of the warm, dry palace. He, of course, had an umbrella.

"Mr. Claremont-Diaz," he said. "What a treat."

Predictably, Alex didn't waste any time on formalities. "Move, Shaan."

"Ms. Bankston called ahead to warn me that you were on the way." Of course she did, Cash thought. Thank God. "As you might have guessed by the ease with which you were able to get through our gates. We thought it best to let you kick up a fuss somewhere more private."

"Move." Again, with the patience.

Shaan smiled, and Cash really thought he might throttle him. Maybe he should be the next one on the eight hour flight into the pouring rain. "You're aware it's quite late, and it's well within my power to have security remove you. No member of the royal family has invited you into the palace."

"Bullshit," Alex said through his teeth. "I need to see Henry."

Cash prepared to be arrested and vowed to never, ever tell Zahra exactly what Alex said tonight.

"I'm afraid I can't do that. The prince does not wish to be disturbed.

"Goddammit Henry!" Even better, Alex started yelling directly up to what was presumably Henry's bedroom window. {"Henry, you motherfucker!"

Cash finally decided it was time to step in, not that it would help. "Alex."

He was ignored. "Henry, you piece of shit, get your ass down here!"

"You are making a scene." Shaan said, not looking all that put out.

"Yeah?" Alex said, not quieting at all despite Cash's concerns. "How 'bout I just keep yelling and we see which of the papers show up first!"

Zahra was going to have a heart attack (if Cash didn't first).

Alex turned back to the window and started flailing his arms, too. "Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness!"

Shaan touched a finger to his earpiece. "Team Bravo, we've got a situa-"

Just then, Henry appeared in the doorway, not looking much better than Cash felt right then. "For Christ's sake, Alex, what are you doing?"

Alex stopped moving, stopped yelling, finally, his mouth still open.

He dropped his arms. "Tell him to let me in."

Henry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's fine. He can come in."

"Thank you," he said, looking at Shaan just so he could have the last word, little shit. They all walked into the palace, Henry and Alex up a massive staircase and Cash following Shaan through the empty hallways, though the word empty was honestly generous. A better description might have been cavernous. At over 6 feet tall, Cash could stretch out both arms and not ever touch a wall, and, as a man who had personally experienced the opulence and greed of the American upper-class Republican party, he wondered why anyone would ever want that. He thought about Sir George Coppin and William III and Mary II and centuries of royals who had walked these walls and attempted to feel a lick of guilt about the mud and rainwater he was tracking through them. Oh, well.

After passing half a dozen nearly identical doors, Shaan finally led them into one that was, upon further inspection, a small kitchen. A marble top island sat in the center of the room surrounded by stools with a large black fridge, oven, sink, and counter to the right. Cash was a bit surprised by how modern it looked, though he wasn't sure exactly what he was expecting. A brick oven set over a fireplace, maybe? A giant portrait of King George III? Really, he didn't know.

"You can sit down, if you'd like," Shaan said, already taking a place at the kitchen island. Cash pulled out a stool and sat down heavily across from him.

"You think they're gonna work out whatever this is?" Cash asked, wincing when he heard a shout, probably from Alex. If anyone's lungs could transcend the distance from here to Henry's bedroom, it was Alex.

Across from him, Shaan sighed sadly, betraying more emotion in a single breath than Cash had ever seen from the man, and he began to wonder if the last ten minutes were simply for show. "It may not matter if they do."

It was, Cash knew, the truth, no matter how much he wished it weren't. "I've never seen him so happy," he noted.

He knew it was incredibly cliché, but it was the truth. The kid had always been excited, maybe a little too excited, actually, but since things with Henry had gotten...important, so to speak, he'd been happy. Really happy. Not that he wasn't before, exactly, but, honestly?...He really wasn't.

Before, happy wasn't something Alex always had time for. Now, somehow between the DNC, classes, fundraisers, and media appearances, Alex had started making time for happy, and that happy came in the form of Henry. Prince Henry of Wales.

Cash knew exactly what would happen if that suddenly went away. Alex would run himself right into the ground.

When Shaan turned his shadowed face to Cash, he knew the other man was thinking the same thing. "For Henry as well." He paused, a pained look crossing his face. "I am afraid that no matter the outcome of tonight, the fallout will be devastating."

Cash couldn't help but agree.

They lapsed into silence, at least until Alex's voice speared into the room. "-fucking love you, okay?"

Groaning, Cash said, "I'm so sorry."

Shaan waved him away. "Don't worry about it. No one else in the palace should be able to hear them." Something appeared to dawn on him. "Although, Philip and Martha are here, so we can't allow them to get too loud." At Cash's uneasy look, Shaan said, "They're staying on the other side of the palace. I wouldn't be too worried."

Cash nodded. "That's good."

A couple more minutes of tense silence later, Shaan said, "Would you like something to drink?"

"Coffee, if you have it." Shaan looked at him oddly. "If this turns ugly, I should probably be awake for it."

He didn't know what he was more worried about: the fight turning violent (unlikely), or Alex and Henry waking up Philip, and that encounter turning violent (much more likely).

Shaan nodded in understanding and turned the coffee maker on. "How do you take it?"

"Black."

For a while, the only noise was the sound of the coffee maker working, leaving Cash to wonder how the fuck he was gonna explain this all to Zahra. Maybe, if they didn't break up and Alex came out the other side relatively unscathed, Cash could make him explain it all with very little remorse. If they didn't, well...Zahra may not be the biggest problem.

To Cash's surprise, the next voice was unmistakably Henry's.

"I don't want it!" He couldn't imagine what that was about, and he really didn't want to know. There were more shouts, but Cash couldn't make them out.

"Didn't know he could get that loud," he said instead.

Shaan sighed again and set a mug down in front of him. "Alex seems to bring it out in him."

Cash snorted and took a sip of coffee, reveling in the bitter taste as he felt the warmth seep into his bones and wake him back up. "He brings it out in everybody."

There was a lull in the shouts, and Cash hoped they might be winding down, but of course Alex started up again.

Thankfully, they didn't last as long this time, tapering off into angry hisses, until there was a sudden thud noise.

Cash was already halfway to the door before he registered the other noises being made: a groan, some stumbling, and the vivid sound of bed springs.

Shawn stood then, obviously eager to not hear them anymore. "Let me show you where you'll be staying tonight."

Cash nodded. "That sounds great," he said, a bit too loud, for now there was the horrifying sound of quiet crying and far more vibrant moans.

Quickly, Shaan led him down even more identical hallways - he couldn't get out of this place if he tried - and eventually landed on a dark wooden door indistinguishable from the ones next to it. Blessedly, he couldn't hear the boys anymore.

"I'll come get you in the morning provided your charge doesn't decide to leave before then." Shaan's voice had gone flat again, but Cash thought he saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "If you need anything, you have my number."

"Thanks," Cash said, the for not telling anyone higher up about this, hanging between them.

Shaan's mouth quirked up in a half smile, and he turned to go. "Of course."

Watching Shaan disappear down the immense hallway, Cash sincerely hoped they could find a way out of this mess without complete devastation, but he knew it wasn't likely.

Maybe, though, they could at least make sure they got through it alive.

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ao3gobi17 · 4 months

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If you want, I would love for you to look at it from an editor's way 😅

For context in case anyone missed - anon did a piece on the first chap of Custody but from Quaritch POV which is in an other ask :)

Okay, so heads up to anon that if I'm editing my own writing I might fuss over like individual words lol. So I won't go that level of intense here, but I'll try to act like I'm your beta or something!

First thought, I would probably divide the paragraphs even more, to add to the tension. But I'll talk about the 4 paragraphs as they are.

Quaritch sat at the table, trying his best to keep his face impassive, acutely aware of the cold handcuffs and the eyes watching him from behind the one-way mirror. It was finally happening, just a moment and he would see his son. He wondered what Miles would turn out to be. Is he still as happy, energetic and clingy as he used to be? "Definitely not towards me, he thinks I killed his mother," he thought bitterly. Every day he was filled with a greater desire for revenge for the killing of his beloved, for the destruction of his family. He took a deep breath. Just a moment, a few days, and no one would take his boy, his last light in life away from him. At that moment, the door opened. Quaritch's heart leapt. Finally, after so many years, this dream moment came, and he couldn't even afford to show any deeper emotions.

Para 1 - So the overall sense of this is spot on: Quaritch's sense of being watched, his excitement to see Spider, the sense things are coming to a head. Some things I'd look at would be 1. 'trying his best to keep his face impassive' implies how much he's struggling and we probably want him to be more feeling victorious at this point. He knows they're bringing Spider, he's going to win. It's not that he isn't deliberately keeping his face impassive, but he is a man feeling in supreme control for the first time in a while, so he's more riding that. 2. He is 100% wondering what Spider is going to look like/be like but it's worth indicating that this and Paz's death has consumed his every waking thought for the past 9 years... so it's not in any way fresh thoughts. 3. I would almost suggest just cutting the last line, letting his physical reaction be the push to the next para.

“It's been a while, son.” He began, trying to keep his tone as calm and collected as possible. Miles lifted his head and looked at him. Quaritch felt a violent wave of love wash over him as he looked into those doe, brown eyes, identical to Paz's. However, he knew that he had to focus on practical things, collect as much information as possible, such as the size of his clothes or potential characteristic features of his appearance that would need to be covered so that no one would thwart the plan. He tore his gaze away from those oh-so-terrified eyes and quickly glanced at the child's figure, mentally noting the potential size and noticing that his son was quite tall and too thin for his liking, and catching the strange-looking dreadlocked hair out of the corner of his eye, immediately feeling angry at those who allowed this to happen. ruining his son's beautiful golden curls. "Calm down baby boy, everything will be fine soon, I will take care of you, I promise," he said in his thoughts to keep himself calm.

Para 2 - We've already talked about how violent rush of love versus doe brown eyes are two perfect ways to describe that first meeting from Q's perspective. Also generally the way Quaritch goes into action in terms of cataloguing what info he can about Spider is spot on for him. Some things I'd look at would be 1. Again, would recommend less of the 'trying'... like he is trying for sure but he feels like he's in control. 2. Possibly an even deeper dive into what facts he can pick up would be good, like he's having a Sherlock moment lol. He's going to estimate Spider's height and weight, he's less noticing the hair out of the corner of his eye and more noticing the hair and he's trying to figure out what the quality of the clothes/choice of clothes says. You did cover this well, I would just suggest more specific details. 3. I really like that he has the thought toward Spider at the end that he doesn't express out loud, but lose the speech marks to avoid it looking like he did speak those words!

“You gonna sit down?” he suggested, his heart clenched a little when he saw how scared Miles Jr. was, his legs were shaking slightly, although he obviously tried to hide it but he still took the designated place. " Atta boy" Quaritch began, trying to put on the most reassuring smile possible. He tried to make conversation, hoping that Miles would drop his stiff façade and finally speak. "How did you get so big? “The passage of time,” his son replied while giving him a slightly disdainful look. His voice had changed so much... He still remembered the high pitched tone of his little boy. Miles was almost a man now, and he was really starting to sound like one. Quaritch internally felt as if someone had kicked him hard in the stomach. He had missed so many important moments in his son's life, the change and reluctance in his voice made him realize it even more. Feeling his anger boiling inside, he cast a murderous look at the mirror, knowing that there was probably a horde of policemen on the other side.

Para 3 - I really like Quaritch clocking how nervous Spider is (shaking legs etc) I also really like that you had Quaritch take note of Spider's older voice and that fuelled a renewed anger in him, that makes so much sense. One thing I'd look at would be 1. Taking that a step further and him clocking Spider's accent here, possibly with the implication of the McCoskers which would make him even more mad.

“Yeah.. That's nine years I can't get back.” He drawled. For a moment he was dreaming about how he could take revenge on all those who sentenced him to separation from his child when he heard a quiet "They said if I came, you'd give up the Wedgewick Killer," behind him. He came to his senses in a second, feeling an unpleasant tightening in his stomach. Of course he knew the kid hadn't come here willingly, but the confirmation stung even more.

Para 4 - I also really like the idea that there's a bit of Quaritch that is disappointed when Spider reveals he only came due to the killer, even though Q logically knows that that's the case. Some things I'd look at would be 1. The idea that he briefly fantasises about what he's going to do to his enemies makes a ton of sense but 'for a moment he was dreaming' kind of implies that he drifted off for a bit, where as this is more a surge of renewed hatred that comes up in a flash, would be good to reword to indicate the speed. 2. Spider isn't behind Q, he's in front of him the entire time.

Hope that was helpful, on the whole I really think you captured the spirit of the interaction and where Q's head is at! <3

#gobibside #custody

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curuxavermella · 1 year

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Who's an airhead? Me! With the event going on I didn't think they'd release Lesson 12, but joke's on me, because they did. Not only that, but for some astral alineation, I completely missed anyone talking about it in both twitter and tumblr. I only realized it was out when I went to jump chapters on the normal mode this morning and saw "Lesson 12: 0/12-13-14 some number I forgot" on the list and then flipped my shit. I have the notifications on for the official account as well, but I somehow missed it too. Whoops.

Anyways it's an emotional galore and Solmare sure likes its cliffhangers, again.

Lesson 11 suffering

Look! Nightbringer decides to grace us with his invisible presence! And ngl I'm terrified of the options they gave us when asked what we thought of this world:

I chose I wanted to go home, and a bitch decided to guilt trip me with "don't you like the brothers as they are now?" man I do but I don't belong here!! I don't mind helping them because I love them but I can't leave the present brothers as it is!

Anyways they also drop this and I am terrified of Nightbringer now.

Not ominous at all. They also fully confirm he's a demon, and that both mc and them want the same thing.

Edit: but, however, we should know better than to trust his word for it don't be like me kids. Again, still-a-morosexual-help brings good points about Nightbringer's identity.

Anyways after we fucked up big time in the Reaper's cave, we fall into a coma, or deep sleep because of the Rules right in front of the present brothers, Solomon and Thirteen. Thirteen can't do anything as she wasn't the one who put that rule in particular, and the last person we hear before passing out due to the curse is Mammon.

This whole lesson is about the brothers visiting us and talking to us as we sleep, and I loved it a lot. Well, we are asleep, sort of, but we can still hear them. Even if we try to reply to them, we can't. Our body is comatose, but we're aware of our surroundings. That's the best way I can put it, I suppose.

First one was Levi, who also says this and gives me whiplash about Solomon.

For me to be convinced that Solomon wanted us fully on his side without caring for our input, he'd have to pull something like "bring them to Cocytus Hall instead" but no, he sends us home, to the house full with our demon family. Deep down he must know how mc loves all of them, so the "choose humanity" thing just... What's he thinking, I wonder? We'll probably have a talk when we wake about it but not now as we're knocked out.

We find out form Levi that Diavolo forgave Beel. They probably looked into what drove him berserk. They don't tell us any specifics yet.

Anyways, we get a heart to sleeping heart with Levi. They're going for the throat of us who easily get teary-eyed. He's not one of my favs, but I like him anyways, especially here. He just wants to hang out with a friend. Or a date, depending on how you prefer to see it.

Next up is Satan. My man. I love him so much. He's reading to us, and he's reading "The Tale of Princess Kaguya", out of all the damn things to read.

He's also pretty honest about finding out we were human, because he missed the Great Revelation Moment. In Lesson 11 and the hard mode, we see him with Simeon and Luke and they decide to make dinner for everyone when they came back from the castle.

Apparently, he would've been really mad. But just like Luci (I suspect), he's mad about us lying, that there was a side that we kept to ourselves.

Just like the other brothers, he begs us to wake up, and I had a hard time not pressing the "I love you" option back, because I want to try going down Solo-Luci route, but Satan makes it hard for me as he's also my favourite, and here is where we see him at his most vulnerable. Anyhow, whoever is cutting onions needs to fucking stop. He just asks us to wake up.

Next brother to visit us is Beel, and you can tell it's him because:

Yup.

He tells us about the gifts and food the other brothers left on us on the bed. Asmo brought some cupcakes, Mammon some chocolate coins, Levi some choco figurines and Beel brought some buns. God I love them so much and I didn't forget we still didn't have our moment with Beel about his Falling, just like with the rest of the brothers, so I was ready for him to talk a bit about it, or at least hint about it happening soon.

There it is jdhgadsf he says not yet, though. Our favourite gentle giant says how he's always starving, that doesn't matter how much he eats, that it never goes away, that he can use our advice about this big secret of his. When we try to reply, he thinks he sees mc smile.

Next up is Mammon, who's running in to hide from some pandemonium going on outside caused by his brothers.

He's mad that we're asleep lol but that's his coping, I suppose. I can't help but wonder if they're all the same way back in the present.

And then, because the onion cutter has me on their hit list and knows my weakness, Mammon drops this shit:

Mammon says that with us, he feels like he can accomplish what he puts his mind into, like the Cerberus thing, and that he needs us, so if we decide to run off to the human world, he'll follow us up there.

Asmo's up next, and just like the rest of the brothers, he opens his heart a bit to mc as we sleep, telling the reason he paints his brothers' nails is so everyone can tell they're brothers. This is where I knew I'd fight any Asmo hater on sight.

Going the opposite of Mammon, Asmo says that after we wake up, if we want to go back, that he'll do everything to help us.

This is all after asking if we were like him after he arrived to the Devildom, if we secretly wanted to go back to the place we came from, and if we were sad, scared or lonely.

Y'ALL NEED TO STOP.

Then came Belphie, which was a surprise because I was not expecting him just yet...

He apologizes, you can tell it's hard on him. Despite how we started in og!OM I adore Belphie, so my mc would forgive him in a heartbeat.

Then he drops a bit of lore bit about Lilith, and how she thought both Angels and Demons looking to guide humans felt insulting to them. I shit you not. Lilith had the same thoughts as Solomon.

Belphie says that he thought her way of thinking was strange, but after hearing we gave back the grimoire to them, that he gets Lilith a little bit more. That humans aren't exactly helpless.

That 180 turn came faster than I expected it, but I'm not complaining. It's also the fact that he wasn't locked into the attic, so his anger didn't fester as much as it did in the og one, plus this time we did something greater that proved we were on their side.

Then Belphie falls asleep holding our hand.

Last, but not least, comes Luci. Just like Levi, he's stroking mc's hair. I actually confused them at first, I thought Luci was first in there hah.

He pulls a Mammon at first, pretending to be angry at us, the sleeping attendant who should be doing their job and has plenty of secrets, like us possessing his ring, but it falls off quickly as he starts talking about his own secrets instead, and it's one we know: that Lilith is still alive as a human, and it weighs on him that he can't tell his brothers.

He also talks a bit more about Lilith, which I appreciate. How she didn't listen to him (lol) and was pretty emotional and expressive. Plus, when he asked her about her love for a human trying to stop her, she told him he'd fall for someone one day and he'd understand her then. Ouch.

Also this.

Sweats in Simeon. Please, he's one of my favourites. Can't wait for shit to go down in present time about this, because my fav ending would be with Luci+Satan+Simeon. Simoen is actually human there though, so maybe they'll use that to skirt about the issue. I just like drama and angst anyways and I yearn to fight the whole Celestial Realm over our found family if needed.

Luci goes on a bit on how he believed love was beautiful, so he didn't exactly understand why their Father gave Lilith the biggest punishment (being casted out with no chance of being reborn/salvation), and by questioning Him, he brought disgrace upon his brothers.

Just like Asmo, he wonders if us keeping our humanity from them was a weight just as heavy as his own secret to his brothers.

Lucifer then gives mc a kiss, and here is when I wasn't sure if it was because I didn't choose the other brothers instead, or if he does it anyways and it's a free interpretation of where he places it. Could be in the forehead if you're feeling platonic. They didn't even give me an option, unlike with the other brothers. In all the previous visits, you could tell them that you loved them, or choose a more platonic option. I went full platonic with all of them because I wanted to choose the "I love you" option with Luci, but he just fucking skipped it and went for the kiss instead lmfao. I like him, so I can't complain, but for someone who prefers a more friendly option... well, I suppose it's why they didn't describe what he did, so it's a free interpretation. Like I said, could be a forehead kiss if you feel more like it.

Then the ring glows and here there be another cliffhanger. See you in 10 days (9 now lol), I suppose. Seems to be the pattern.

The extra lesson is about Beel going to talk to Belphie in their room, trying to get him to visit mc and apologize. I love the twins so much.

Since I was already late I also went and did hard mode, thinking it'd be about Solomon searching for a way to break the curse (Leviathan comments on it during his visit, but Solomon never comes over), but instead it's about Simeon, Luke and Satan watching as the demon brothers run home carrying a comatose mc in a panic. Oh joy.

Solomon nearly slips, too, almost calling the guest room "MC's room-". Simeon neutralizes the curse, but is unable to remove it. The brothers and Solomon vow to find a way to dispel it, "even if it means doing the impossible", I quote Solomon.

Luke, being the literal angel that he is when he's not hating demons, tries to lift the crestfallen mood by saying they got dinner ready with Satan. They all thank him, which I found adorable, but decides to stay with mc saying he "wants to talk". I assume it's the beginning before his visit, and it stops there.

o(-< I'm dead man. I loved the brothers telling us bits about themselves. At least this cliffhanger was a bit more bearable lmao....... and I'm in for the suffering, at least a little bit. Just a sprinkle.

I was a bit sad we didn't get a visit from the other side charas, but I'm confident we'll have our moment eventually. For now I wonder how we'll dodge the questions of where the fuck did we come from, and why do we have the ring? What did Solomon tell Simeon and "counted on him" back when leaving the house? o(-< WHO KNOWS??? "good luck finding out too" -solmare, probably.

Edit: LESSON 13 IS OOOOUUUUUUUUT

#Anne plays obey me! nightbringer #nightbringer spoilers #this lesson brought to you by the onion cutting man who is out to get all of us apparently #obey me! nightbringer #obey me!

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wanderingjournalofshadows · 7 months

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principium III

I go ahead and prepare the last bits and pieces for the adventure in the Domains of Dread.

For my Oracle, I've been eyeing for long the One Page Solo Engine which seems to be one of the best options for a lighter Oracle. The good thing is, that this does what it needs to do by itself.

From Inflatable Studios - They also have a handy app version.

There are a couple of questions to be answered still.

How does the character get experience points? Most likely per scene, through acquired gold, and via combat as well.

What if the character dies in the first encounter? In the Domains of Dread, nobody just escapes, the soul remains, darkness engulfs them, and there'll be a story for it.

Doesn't that defeat the feeling of danger and risk? Yes, and no. The idea is to journey through the Domains of Dread, and experience something horrific, while horror is fairly difficult to do in a solo game, but the writing that comes out of it might be a lot more interesting than usual dungeon delving. Also, in itself this is a past time entertainment for myself. I do whatever I want, innit? :)

But where is the challenge then? In the playing itself. Of course I don't want my character to die all the time, plus I really want to enjoy writing the story of the journey. Also learning to play in the older edition again is also quite challenging, with its own philosophy of design and goals.

Where is the backstory of the character? It will be a separate post, because I still need to get my equipment ready, and have some special items that'll let me do some interesting things narratively.

What will be the starting scene? I'll find that out just in a minute!

The Revised Tome of Adventure Design by Matt Finch is an excellent tool with myriad of tables. I'll start to generate a couple of facts about the place where I'll start. I'll first look into Borca for details that might lead me to more specific things to be generated.

Another good source for more Ravenloft content is Mistipedia (BE AWARE OF SPOILERS) that will help me find certain locations in Borca. One of them being a fairly good choice - Silverton - a small village in the mountains of Dorvinia, ruled by three cowardly adventurers. Perfect.

Let's generate the basics:

The first 'mission' is to Discover the Identity of a Bookseller. Curious, and not your usual monster hunting adventure. Or is it? I'll generate also the Enticements of the Peril - Permit Travel - This is actually amazing - giving me the reward to travel in-between Domains.

For mood I look into some literature:

"Overhead the thunder cracked and roared, and when it ceased and the deathly stillness succeeded, I heard the rustle of movement coming nearer me, and, more horrible yet, perceived an odour of corruption and decay. And then a hand was laid on the side of my neck, and close beside my ear I heard quick-taken, eager breathing."

The Room in the Tower by E.F. Benson

Wonderful piece!

And now the location within the village - I'm thinking of the house of the Bookseller, who might be missing right now. The last important event that happened here was Singing or an Unusual Sound (maybe something that could've been heard from the neighbours), also the event involved secret knowledge or secret power – either an attempt to gain it, or an attempt to use it.

The plot thickens!

This is already quite a lot to start on - the character is looking for the Bookseller in Silverton, to figure out the actual identity of the person, in exchange getting the means of transportation out of Borca. Starting in the house of the Bookseller who went missing for a month now, only the neighbours telling about a strange sound and the Bookseller being particularly secretive about certain tomes which got acquired and brought back to the house. The weather is harsh, and has an eerie stillness between the roaring thunders, the house smells like corruption and decay.

A very good start, I'll be getting some equipment together and start a basic backstory for the character the next time!

Cheers!

#barovia #curse of strahd #diary #dnd #dnd campaign #dnd oc #dnd strahd #journal #ravenloft #solo #solo rpg #solo roleplay

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pumpkin-quest · 7 months

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I ran my first game of 5th edition! My first attempt at DMing anything since my campaign ended *mumble mumble* (I've legit forgotten, but it might be 4? Maybe 5?) years ago. And it went...well? Ish?

It was for a charity event, and one of the players was a young man who was clearly *incredibly* nervous about playing with a group of strangers, so I was a bit slack with the rules, but who really needs a rules lawyer anyway.? If the table is having fun and I don't need to remember my bizarre house ruling of things for more than a few hours, it's all good.

We played the pregen adventure "Heist at the Museum", which the venue provided, because while I enjoy the storytelling aspect of DMing, I *hate* coming up with maps and encounters. I'm not good at it and am generally just much happier if someone else does it for me.

The general set up is this group of thieves have been hired to steal The Tetrad Gems from the museum and deliver them to this posh dude in his house on the outskirts of town. They've been provided with Amulets of Escape to facilitate this. Use of these amulets will transport them to a predesignated teleportation circle. Easy life.

Problem was, the dice really seemed to want this poor party dead. The very first thing that happens is they knock over the Dinosaur statue in the museum, activating the automaton guards deeper within the exhibit hall, prompting them to have to retreat outside to hide until they've reset. Only thing is, they reset and went back into waiting mode right near the door they picked the lock for. So, they had to find another way in. Did result in some creative sleight of hand with a crowbar though, so that was fun.

They get the gems, load up on assorted other valuable trinkets on display, and then activate their amulets when a whole platoon of automatons turn up to investigate the break in.

The predesignated circle takes them to the middle of a port and cheese evening at the manor, where all the guests are wearing robes and having identical ornate daggers hidden upon their person. Because the game makers do not want this to be subtle and want the players to know they've been hired by a cult. Because handing over the stolen gems will be a Bad Idea and they want the players to be aware of this.

But this particular party, either due to youth (two of the players were children, with the oldest likely no older than 12 or 13) or inexperience (the nervous guy, who probably late teens at most tbh), were not genre savvy enough to truly take this in, and merrily handed over the gems and then hung around to wait for their payment.

This was good for me, because the part of the adventure I was most nervous about was how the posh dude was going to stay charming and attempt to get the players to hand over the gems without arousing suspicion before he finally got mad and ordered the cult to attack. But it was bad for them because it meant he could immediately disappear off into the back room and summon the Devlish Piper. A challenge rating 5 creature when the part couldn't have been higher than level 2.

There were, admittedly, many punches pulled during this fight. Because the Piper could have easily wiped the floor with all of them on his own. I had him roaming around, murdering the cultists rather than the players, had him smash a locked window to provide another escape route, and just pretended he didn't land a single blow on the last character left in the room (because the player was the youngest of the siblings and her brother's character had already escaped and there had been enough sibling bickering that I was not about to do that to their poor dad). I still had two of the players making death saving throws, only surviving by the skin of their teeth (and a lucky natural 20 where I may have elected to go by 4th ed rules), and the entire party had collectively less than 10 hp by the time they escaped.

But I think my favourite moment was the super nervous new guy looking at his inventory, spotting the firecrackers in their, and improvising it as a way to break a different window to make his escape easier. That's the sort of thinking that will help him go far in future games.

All in all, a fun few hours, and a very hard won but I still think well deserved victory.

#dungeons and dragons #d&d #dnd #rp #roleplay #d&d 5th edition #5th edition #the dice are not your friends #the dm is though

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twoidiotwriters1 · 2 years

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Copycat: The First Young Avenger —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: I’m taking the rest of the week to edit the next phase and prepare it so it can be posted, so see you next monday! :) -Danny

Words: 2,269

Warnings: Mentions of torture.

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Phase

Listen to: ‘Training Wheels’ -by Melanie Martinez

xviii: Lovebug

Strangely as it seemed, her nights with spider-man weren't draining her energy, if anything, they were engaging.

The young hero had told her all he could without giving his identity away in hopes she knew how to help him, she promised to create a proper training routine for him, and so she did, although it wasn't as good as she would've liked since they were lacking a safe space where to practice.

She decided to teach him the basics, this kid was only interested in helping the city, he wasn't looking for glory, nor for a place in the avengers. She taught him how to disarm a person if he was too close to the thief and webs couldn't help him, she taught him where to kick and punch so he could knock them down in seconds. The spider wasn't a fan of violence, so C.C. kept to herself her most aggressive techniques.

"If you're gonna talk during a fight— something I noticed you love doing," She panted, he'd managed to trap her against a wall. "Don't stare at their faces, always watch the hands... or feet."

She kicked her heel and a small detonator fell to the floor, she stepped on it hard and a bright light flashed from the cat paw on her chest, spider-man stumbled away, covering his eyes and whining.

"I don't have that kind of tech, that's not fair!"

"I never said I'd be fair," She laughed.

"I'm blind— literally blind, what did you do?"

"Relax, you'll recover in a moment," C.C. said calmly. "That's a strobe light, it's meant to disorient and hurt for a little while, it's a good way to get a head start if you're trying to get away."

"Yeah cool, couldn't just say that without using it on me?"

"Maybe, but it's not as fun," She grinned. "What did we learn today?"

"That you're an asshole."

The girl gasped. "Webs, you kiss your mother with that mouth? C'mon, what did we learn?"

"That I should watch the hands, and their feet... and that you're the meanest coach I could've gotten."

She scoffed. "Buddy, I'm going soft on you, trust me, if you were training in a real facility they wouldn't be as patient as I am, the guys on the lab I was created—"

"What?"

"The lab," She repeated, deciding to leave out the last part. "Those were real monsters. They would put a collar around your neck, and if you ever decided to do something that didn't match their needs, or that they considered dangerous, or if they'd simply woken up in a bad mood, they would make this thing fry your skin until your shoulders felt numb."

Spider-man waited for her to laugh and claim to be joking, but when she didn't he whispered:

"That sounds terrible, Cat."

"I'm aware," She retorted. "I was young but I knew I wouldn't stand one more second of it. I left and I decided to look for the Avengers, and they ended up finding me instead."

"How old are you?"

He stared down at his feet. "Man, I feel really stupid."

"I think you're doing a great job, and you fight way better than the first time..."

"It's not that," He walked towards the ledge of the building and sat down heavily. "I'd always assumed that you'd been with the Avengers your whole life... the way you talk about them makes it sound like it."

"That's cause I don't remember anything from before that time," She shrugged. "I know it sounds like bullshit cause I told you about the shitty collars, but it's like I can remember stuff they would do or faces, yet something inside me split them so I could process it. Maybe the full thought would mess me up too much."

When he didn't reply, C.C. felt embarrassed.

"Don't pity me," She said. "I got out and I took down half of the staff in the process. I got my revenge."

He hummed. "Didn't take you for the kind that would enjoy that."

"What are you talking about? The first night we meet I told you I was a young avenger! What did you think that meant? That I build houses for the poor?"

"Heh, guess you have a point..." He shook his head. "'M sorry, Cat."

"For what?"

"Thinking your life was perfect," He shrugged. "Most superheroes have like super dark origin stories... I should've known better."

"Well, you're only just learning," The girl patted his shoulder. "Lighten up, Spidey, it's time for our last patrol of the night."

He stood up carefully, brushing the dirt from his hands. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Why do you have a cat paw on your suit if your powers have nothing to do with them?"

"Cause Tony thought it'd be funny."

"It's not that funny."

"Yeah, I know," She chuckled. "It's too late to change it now, though, maybe next time he makes me a new suit I'll tell him to drop it."

C.C. saw MJ and Ned huddled together looking at the girl's phone.

"What are you guys watching?"

"MJ says Spider-man has a sidekick, but in every video that's been posted of him, he's all alone," Ned told her. "Come and see for yourself, so you can tell MJ she's wrong."

"I'm not wrong!" MJ handed the phone to her. "Watch that!"

C.C. grabbed the phone and pressed play:

The scene wasn't clear enough, but the split second that the hero got thrown back by the larger man, something seemed to have hit him on the chin, and not only that, if she really focused on the left corner, she could see a gloved hand grabbing the guy's gun and throwing it out of reach.

"And?"

She handed back the phone.

"To me, it looks like he just tripped," She lied.

"Thank you!" Ned looked back at MJ. "Spider-man doesn't need help, dude, he's like super strong and smart."

"Hey, everyone needs help sometimes," C.C. argued. "And what makes you think he wouldn't be the sidekick anyway? Have you seen his costume?"

"I think his costume's good," Peter spoke from behind her. "No one's seen his face yet, right? That's something."

"It's the work of a newbie," She frowned. "It looks like he's got no clue of what he's doing."

"Not everyone can dress in a million-dollar suit, C.C.," He retorted in annoyance.

"Well, maybe he shouldn't be getting involved in this kind of life if he can't handle it, he could get seriously hurt! No one would be able to help him!"

"If you have the chance to be better you should do it no matter what!" Peter was now on his feet. "And he's not alone!"

"How do you know?"

"Well..." Peter looked back at his friends and then at her. "Well, the New Yorkers really like him. If he gets injured I'm sure he would get help in no time..."

C.C. stared at him. "New York's a selfish city."

"And you would know that," He replied sarcastically. "Being part of the richest family that lives here."

"Er... guys?" Ned spoke timidly. "Guys, there's no need to fight..."

"Yeah, calm down, this is just fun speculation," MJ got up and placed a hand on C.C.'s shoulder. "Let's go to class?"

C.C. turned around without adding a word, Peter did the same.

"What was that about?" MJ whispered. "I'd never seen you talk to Peter that way!"

"He's really gullible sometimes, thinks everyone will be willing to help a hero just cause they're good. It's not like that at all, I've seen it."

"Yeah, your uncle had a tough time a few years back, right?"

"Very," She nodded. "But he wasn't the only one, I know the rest of the Avengers aren't exactly living the dream..."

"Do you know them?"

"I've seen them once or twice," She replied.

"You know what, I think your attitude towards Peter has changed because you've moved forward to the next phase in the crush phenomenon."

"Here we go again..."

"You're quick to anger when he disagrees with you cause it frustrates you that someone you think it's cute is not matching with the idea you built around him. In short, you idealized Peter, and every time he proves to be the opposite of your dream, you get upset."

"Wow, you're really good at this, have you tried to pursue a career in human psychology?"

"No amount of sarcasm is going to change my mind," She grinned. "It's cute, that you caught feelings for the nerdiest boy in school. It's like watching one of those late nineties romcoms."

"The only one I'm catching feelings for is you," She put an arm around her shoulders. "You're the girl of my dreams, and since I love you so much, I'll fight you in the hallway. Starting right now."

MJ snorted, pushing her away playfully.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Tell who what?"

Her friend stared at her with an eyebrow raised, C.C. rolled her eyes.

"I don't like him that way, Jones..."

"Any time you're uncomfortable you call me Jones, have you noticed that?"

C.C. cursed under her breath. "You're too observant, I hate you."

"Aww, I hate you too," It was MJ's turn to put her arm around C.C.'s shoulders.

"People think you're my sidekick."

"Wrong— People can't see me, they just think they see something. As long as I stay invisible we'll be fine."

"Do you think my suit it's stupid?"

She stopped fixing her utility belt and observed him. "Why?"

"You have all those cool tools and tech, I just have my shooters and a onesie."

"Yeah, but it does the trick, doesn't it?"

"It makes me look like a kid."

"Hate to break it to you, Webs, but we are kids."

"I don't want the bad guys to know that, though."

"They're idiots, they don't know."

"Yeah, maybe... but what if they do?"

"You still can kick their butt better than any person of age," She crouched down in front of him. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, all good," He gave her a thumbs up. "Just had a rough day today, I think I hurt my friend's feelings..."

"I'm sure they'll forgive you, but tonight we should focus on helping the neighborhood, right?"

"Right," He adjusted his shooters. "You're ready?"

"Like always."

She'd been avoiding Peter since their little argument, she wasn't angry at him, but his words had caused her to second guess their relationship, he'd sounded a little too resented at her lifestyle, and it wasn't like she could control that, but if it made him uncomfortable, perhaps it was better to put some distance between them.

"I'm sorry—"

C.C. jumped and slammed the door of her locker a bit too harshly, it bent inwards.

"Oh my god," She blushed. "These lockers are so thin, don't you think? I could sneeze on them and they would snap in half."

She turned on her heels quickly and started to walk away.

"Wait— C.C. I just wanna talk!"

"I'm sure you're sorry about what you said, Pete," She replied without stopping, "but it was honest, you feel intimidated and I respect that, I understand if you no longer want to be my friend—"

"What? No! I never said— C.C. stop walking!"

He quickened his pace and caught her wrist, he turned her around with a force she would've never expected of him. The girl's feet twisted and she stumbled forward, Peter caught her in time, holding her tightly against his chest.

"I don't like physical contact, Parker," She looked away. "Please let go of me."

"I know, sorry," He moved her away gently. "You were falling and I just acted out of instinct."

"You didn't have these reflexes a few months back," She pointed out. "What's going on with you, Peter? You're no longer wearing glasses, you gained weight, you're..."

It clicked. His brief sickness at the start of the winter break, his brand new look... she'd asked spider-man once how he'd gained his powers, and she couldn't believe she'd never connected the dots.

"A spider..." She whispered.

"What?"

Even their voices were alike! It was so painfully obvious she reddened from embarrassment, she wanted to yell 'it's you!' but then she would not only put him on the spot, she would put herself in an awkward position. She wasn't supposed to know spider-man, only Copycat knew him, and as far as Peter knew, C.C. was not Copycat.

"I... I said I..." She made her decision then, nothing was going to ruin her new life. "I said I aspire to have a glow up like yours," She chuckled anxiously. "Anyway, I gotta go to class."

"Wait! Before you go..." He stepped closer, C.C. gulped but remained in place. "We're still friends, right?"

She couldn't walk away from him knowing what she knew, Peter was going to need all her help, he was on his own, no S.H.I.E.L.D to clean after his mess. She had to stay.

"I was just being a little dramatic, I'm sorry, it's in my blood," She joked. "But yeah, we're good."

"Great, that means I don't have to take this from you to force you to talk to me."

He opened his palm and revealed the watch Tony had given her so she could contact them in case of an emergency.

"How..?"

"Always watch the hands," He smirked, winking at her.

He walked away with a satisfied grin on his face, leaving C.C. unable to form a coherent thought.

Things were about to get complicated.

Next Phase —>

Taglist.

@ieatpanicattacksforlunch @jesuswasnotawhiteman @23victoria@siriuslysirius1107 @greengarsstuff @itsyagirl01

#twoidiots writing #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #Peter Parker x Oc #Spiderman #spider-man xoc

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kushielsmercy · 2 years

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EDIT: Prompts are now closed

200 followers?!?!

Look, I know that compared to a lot of the folks on here that is a tiny number of followers, BUT I am not a lot of folks, I am just one girl who decided to slink back to Tumblr last spring with a new account and zero intention of creating content. But here we are, and seriously, thank you all for keeping me semi-sane this last year. Especially my discord peeps who have gone from usernames to real friends, you know who you are and ily <3

ANYWAY I haven't done this before and am just going out on a limb that people will want to engage, but, prompts! I've gotten out of the habit of writing drabbles which is a shame because I love drabbles. So, my inbox is open for your ideas! I know it can be hard to come up with prompts without guidance so I threw together a list of fun quotes and tropes to mix and match as you want, but if there's something else you're picturing, a specific ship, kink, premise, whatever, just ask and I'll do my best! I'll ship just about any pairing, no matter how rare, if it's well-written and my list of no-go content is pretty small (MCD, hard non-con, ABO and monsterfucking are meh, mpreg, post-mountain [I know I know I just can't rinse and repeat anymore]. I'm sure there are others but that's what I've got off the top of my head). Worst case I'll politely decline if it's something I don't think I can do for whatever reason. In summary, I'm struggling with some of my "longer" (by my standards lol) fics so please give me things to write, and, seriously, thank you all again!!!

Quotes:

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“I’m haunted”

“What’s a little torture between friends?”

“Let’s overthrow the king together, shall we?”

"Don't say my name, you'll die."

“Truth be told, I’m not sure any of them are actually dead”

“Forever is a long time to have something like that tattooed on you.”

“There are people worth saving, just not you.”

“It’s a memory of someone I loved, before you made me like this. Criticise it again, I dare you.”

“I love stories. Tell me one.”

“All I want now is to look at life. You may come and look at it with me, if you care to.”

“Since your way probably involves explosives, I think it’s safer if we don’t.”

“This is the guy?”

“Well, it's nice to see that someone hasn't lost their optimism."

'Maybe try praying to the goddess of life.'

“Are all gods, this childish?!”

“Whilst I am very well aware that this was an incredibly poor decision, I also want you to be aware, that I very much, don’t care.”

“They’ll find us, you know they will…. they always do.”

“It’s uh….it’s a bit bigger than I was expecting.”

'Fine, I guess we'll just have to try them all, huh?'

I saved your life. I spilled my blood for you. In the gods' law, you're fucking mine.'

“What? Did you think I didn’t know?”

'Door's locked. Now settle down and sleep, or I'll give you a reason to complain.'

“No, I don’t want your shitty cake. I want your soul.”

Tropes and Premises:

Fatalistic Recklessness

Honeypot

I Didn’t Know What To Do So I Murdered The Person Who Made You Look Like You Wanted To Cry

Identity Porn

Arranged Marriage

Artisan/Specialist

Magical Tattoos

Deathbed Wedding And Unexpected Survival

Ritual Sex

Established Relationship

Amnesia

Possession

Meet Ugly

OT3

Whump

Hero-to-Villian

Curses

Contract Gone Wrong

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Soulmate AU

Unwanted Reward

Trope Inversion

They died and left me to repay a bunch of really weird IOUs

Shared enemy

Assassins

Necromancer

#THANK YOU AGAIN #And send me prompts pretty please #shielwrites

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knockknockchicagopd · 3 years

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❛ A PSYCHO? ❜

❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Headcanon 8 with Will please.

❚❙ Headcanon: Secret admirer.

❚❙ WILL HALSTEAD MASTERLIST.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads @graniairish @teller258316. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

At first, when you receive a bouquet, you don't give it as much importance as Maggie and April do, thinking that maybe they're from a grateful patient.

Until you realize that it's a coincidence that, whoever sent them, chose sunflowers. Not many people know they're your favorites and that's when curiosity invades you.

You can't help but fixate on every man in the hospital. Mainly in your friends, the ones who maybe have heard you talking about small details like the fact that you love sunflowers.

In your free time, you write a list of names.

You need to know it. Not everybody makes a gift like this in these kinds of times.

But after a couple of days without any sign else, you start to find random sticky notes in your office, your locker, even on the windshield of your car.

And they all know what to say to make you feel better.

If it has been a bad day, you find one saying ‘everything is gonna be okay’ or ‘I've missed your smile today’.

If it has been a good day, the ones you find are the type of ‘you did an amazing job today’, ‘you're the best nurse I know’, ‘people should learn from you’.

You talk about it with your friends every day.

Even Sharon asks you if you have found another one at the end of your shift.

Everybody looks excited about your secret admirer.

But you aren't able to discover who he is.

And you really want to know it. Not only because of curiosity but because you want to thank him for brightening up your days. Mostly, the darkest ones.

He has earned all your attention. You can't stop commenting about it being the main topic of talks in Molly's.

You don't care about Connor saying that he must be a coward for not revealing his identity; or about Ethan saying that he must be too ugly.

You don't care about his appearance, that's for real. A man who worries about you, about not seeing you smile; a man who praises your hard work deserves your interest.

Natalie and Sarah have helped you try to discover him, after a month.

And no one of you will admit that maybe you tried to bribe the security guys to watch the hospital footage. Not even that you made Atwater try to investigate the flower shop.

But when a young patient brings you a Snickers to the library with a sticky note on it saying ‘you're close, I just hope you don't hate me when you discover who I am’, your list of names comes down to three. And two don't have sense.

Being aware that he is watching you right now, reading it, you pretend to continue studying for your next exam.

Until he leaves the library.

Secret Admirer reunion.

You can't believe who has been doing it all this time. Your friends either.

Sharon, Maggie, April, Natalie, and Sarah are on the edge of their nerves waiting for you to say the name out loud.

Will.

“Will? Halstead?” They all ask in unison. “How do you know it?”

“He's the one who never says anything about my secret admirer. And he was trying to not look like he was very focused on seeing my reaction with the last note”.

“Didn't know Halstead could be this romantic… He's more like an asshole with girls”. April is more surprised than anyone there.

“So, which is the next step?”

The crazy ideas go from implicating his brother to a home invasion to prepare him a date. But everything sounds too illegal.

At this point, Daniel joins your prank.

Oh, God bless Doctor Charles.

He knows exactly how to make Will confess.

At Molly's.

Surrounded by all your colleagues from the hospital.

“I'm tired of that guy. Seriously, if he likes me, why just don't… say it? I mean, what's the point of staying in the shadow?”

“Do you know secret admirers are considered psychopaths?”

The laughs fill up the bar.

“Explain that, Doctor Charles”. You are choking on your beer, not expecting it.

“The difference between a secret admirer and a stalker is the fact that a stalker feels an obsession for his target. But they share more similarities than people actually know. Without keeping in mind that a rejected secret admirer can turn into a stalker or, even, into a killer”.

“A killer?”

“Exactly. By rejecting him, you hurt his ego, his manhood. The feeling of not being good enough, of being insufficient for his beloved, can develop killer instincts”.

“If I can't have you, nobody will”. Wise words from Sharon.

“Should I talk to… Dawson or Voight?” You whisper pretending to be scared and confused, seeing Daniel nodding with his lips pressed against the edge of his glass of whisky. “Okay… I'm gonna text Antonio before this gets ou—”.

“I'm not a serial killer!”

FINALLY.

Everybody at the table looks at Will and the gesture of confusion is installed on his face.

Then, he realizes what is going on.

It was a trap.

And it worked to perfection.

“C'mon! Why didn't you simply ask me?”

“'Cause it wouldn't have been fun, Halstead!”

“You all are a bunch of traitors”. Will points at all your friends, who break in laughs. “And you… Doctor Charles… You should know I'm pretty far from being a psycho”.

“I do”.

“Okay, we're leaving you alone”. April giggles palming Will's back, before turning towards you. “Just in case, keep your phone close”.

You have never seen him blushing till his cheeks have the same color as his hair. And he looks really cute.

You can't stop smiling.

And he can't look you in your face.

“So… are you gonna ask me for a date or…?”

“You want?”

“Of course I want, idiot. Been waiting for it for a long month. So don't you dare to tell me you don't wanna go on a date”.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ⚡#one chicago #will halstead #will halstead x reader #chicago med #chicago med x reader #chicago med imagine

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nothorses · 3 years

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hey sorry if it comes off as weird, but i'm a bit desperate. i had a real bad time figuring out my identity growing up and for like, the past 4~5 years i've become really comfortable and happy whenever i referred and thought of myself as a gay nb trans man; i experience legit gender euphoria whenever ppl address or acknowledge me as such, and the most connection i feel is to gay/bi men/men-aligned ppl. that said, i've struggled with obsessive/intrusive thoughts since i'm like, 12~13 due to (1/?)

a phobia, and they often appeared when i was already feeling low/stressed/anxious over unrelated stuff. y'know when you're having a good time and suddenly your brain goes 'oh hey, remember that thing you have doubts about and makes you distressed? and you think it's not true? well, here it is again (: you're welcome!'. that's it.

so social isolation due to the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health and recently i have been... struggling a lot not only with dysphoria (i was supposed to start hrt last year but it was postponed due to, well), but also with obtrusive/intrusive thoughts over 'how i'm faking it, i am actually a cis lesbian' (i never felt attracted truly to women, even tho i had kissed two before, and i am Positively attracted to men in a way i can only describe as 'gay').

it has gotten to a point where i cannot think about, y'know, woman characters from stuff i like that i feel like this is somehow a sign i'm actually a lesbian; i have been dreaming a lot of situations i'm either framed as a lesbian or a straight girl, i have been hyperaware of how cis ppl perceive me (pre-transition, as 'girl') and obsessing over little shit like, if women are looking at me in certain ways when i have to go out (sometimes even 'wishing' it, as if it wanting to 'prove' anything).

i feel...... exhausted, none of these make me feel good, all of this makes me feel distressed. i get dreadful when i take 'lol ur lesbian' results at stupid internet quizzes too. i feel like i cannot talk to anyone about it bc i feel like they're gonna try to feed me either 'internalized lesbophobia' or terf rhetoric, which is smth im v aware of, and part of the reason i've been obsessing over as well.

i had mild doubts about stuff before (like if i was rly a binary trans guy or nb, or if i was bisexual) but none was... like this, y'know. i was also dumb and read a bbc article about detransitioning ppl which opened with 'studies say most trans ppl dont doubt' etc. featuring two cis lesbians that detransitioned after entering a relationship with one another. i feel rly rly rly dreadful i wish i could go back to feeling like myself (gay and guy) like i did before.

i'm sorry for the longest fucking ask btw, and also, tumblr hadnt let me send the rest for like, Hours, i'm deeply sorry

[Edited for formatting]

I think a lot of this is very normal, especially for transmascs.

We’re constantly fed this idea that we can’t really trust our own perception of reality, that we don’t know ourselves as well as others do, and that the things we believe about ourselves are temporary, silly, and “signs” of some deeper reality that someone else knows for us. It’s only natural that we’d internalize some of those feelings, and struggle to trust even the most irrefutable evidence of our own realities.

If it helps to have some tools in those moments, a couple of reminders:

Cis girls do not typically dread the idea of being girls. They might dread the social repercussions or expectations, they might hate girls who look/act in certain ways, but they do not typically hate that they are girls.

If you are feeling dread over the idea that you might be attracted to women, you probably aren’t! It’s good to work on feeling more at peace with the possibility, because orientation can be very fluid for some folks, and being ready to accept yourself if things change takes a lot of pressure off- but if you don’t want to be with women, you just literally do not have to be with women. For any reason. Even if you are “secretly” attracted to them, if you don’t want to be with them anyway, you simply do not have to be.

Trans people experience doubt. We experience it all the time. We experience it pretty much endlessly! Maybe there are trans folks who never, ever doubt their genders, and I’m very happy for them; but that’s the exception, not the rule, in my experience. This study talks about the steps toward trans self-acceptance, and finds each step is an ongoing process, and often a back-and-forth. It was very comforting for me to recognize the patterns & know I’m not alone.

The focus on AFAB detransitioners is driven by transandrophobia. Because saving the “poor little girls” is a compelling motivator in a misogynistic society. Most detransitioners are actually folks who were AMAB, and found the societal pressure and backlash was too overwhelming, or made things too unsafe, for them to carry on with their transitions. Most detransitioners, period, are people who had to stop because of safety issues, or lack of access to their transition needs.

It’s very normal to go through periods of high doubt, and periods of high self-assuredness. You may just have to ride this out; surround yourself with as much support and love as you can, remind yourself that those fears aren’t really based in reality, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Try to make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You will get through this period of doubt, and come back to finding love and joy in your identity again! It might just take a little time & patience.

(Also no worries over the sending confusion; Tumblr’s a lil broken sometimes, and it’s genuinely not even remotely an issue.)

#long post #advice #Anon #Ask

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hauntedziosportrait · 3 years

Text

The Relativity and Connections between Jamaasian Lore and Mirabai

WARNING! ⚠️ Very religious themes. I apologise if I have any incorrect or outdated information, it's very risky writing about something surrounding a certain religion when in fact.. I'm an atheist.

The lore of Jamaa has always been a really tricky and fairly eerie topic to cover. It has themes from all sorts of different cultures and despite the main tale being retold, changed and edited one thousand times, the information we receive is clear about who the certain deities and characters are and what their roles to play give.

Today, we're looking more on the more eerie side of Animal Jam- The relationship between Mira and Zios. Surprisingly, we know more about our enemies the phantoms than we do the entities we're serving. Alot has been told about Mira, but on the other hand, not much information has been provided about Zios and his identity making him more or less a very suspicious character to take heed of. That's why there are so many theories regarding him specifically; the most we know is that...

●He is the spiritual highest point of the Jamaa heiarchy, having created Mira and setting the stars and planets in motion

●He is often depicted as a bodyless golden mask surrounded by intricate patterns and grooves

●He was the lover of Mira

●He dissappeared at some point in time and never came back.

To jog your memory, I'm going to be basing this theory more on the Old Jamaasian Lore. Interestingly, the lore was changed to make it appealing to a younger audience, but in the old lore we get a stronger sense of emotion and alot more information about the guardian spirits of Jamaa.

Zios is practically a God. He sets several plants, stars and seas in motion. Eventually he gets lonely and gives life to a deity said to be the perfect incarnation of humble beauty; a graceful grey heron named Mira. Mira and Zios get on well together and she often tells him how talented and artistic he is.

Eventually, Zios falls for her, and creates a beautiful land for he and Mira to share; Jamaa- as a sign of his love.

Mira is ecstatic and suggests and creates the idea of giving live to mortal inhabitants to the land- us, the animals. However, Zios gets a little snappy at Mira for that. He meant for this place to share just between the two and for nobody else to interfere.

He then snaps at Mira for creating the Animals and the two fall into a fearsome and emotional argument. Mira's tears then, without her knowing, come into accidental contact with the mortal world. Since she is an omniscient deity, mixing such power with normal life would end in ruin- Thus creating the phantoms.

Here's the catch. Mira and Zios are too wrapped up in their argument to notice the phantoms attacking Jamaa. Since the phantoms were created by Mira, they would only obey her. That is why they are after Zios, to avenge Mira. Also a case why we never see the phantoms target Mira specifically.

Then, they notice the peril Jamaa is in and, still angry at eachother, select the powerful and strong remaining animals in their selective tribes as Alphas to defend.

Shortly after, Zios goes missing. We're told the phantoms took him through the phantom portal never to be seen again. However, there is alot of evidence to suggest he fell victim to the phantoms and gave in to their side, furthermore taking control of the Phantom Empire. That may be why, despite their goal being reached, they continue to harass and attack the alphas, Jamaa, and by extent, Mira.

From then, the Alphas succeed, and all is well. Zios, however, is never heard of again.

Despite their argument, Mira is eternally upset. That is why phantoms keep producing, due to her tears. Since Zios left angry at Mira, it may be an extra that she thinks Zios left hating her.

And... That is what is inferred from the old lore. The new lore consists of less knowledge about Mira and Zios, but more information about the Alphas and of course the animal heartstones.

Now, here is the thing. The tale of Jamaa is very familiar sounding to some people. Zios is often seen as omnipotent and very powerful. He's often seen as similar to several different gods in mythology..

●Zeus, the Greek god of sky and thunder (This one is self explanatory, even their names are similar: however I've seen this one cause a bit of controversy as this is comparing Zios to a technically VERY problematic god.. Also, Mira sounds alot like Hera!)

●Viracocha, the great creator deity in the pre-Inca and Inca mythology in the Andes region of South America. He's mainly mentioned in incan and mesopotamian mythology as the high creator god (and this one shares more similarities than you may think!) They both had lovers, both dissappeared after creating the world, both had similar powers (examples of heliokenesis) and they actually look REALLY similar, most likely Zios' design being based off of Viracocha's golden armor. Viracocha pictured below!

●And the last one... Krishna. An important religious figure in Hinduism and the final reincarnation/eighth avatar of Vishnu.

And that last one is what I'm planning to talk about today!

The perhaps most important part of this theory is Mirabai. Mirabai, often called Meera or Mira, was a 16th-century Hindu mystic poet and devotee of Krishna. She was known for her elegant beauty and poetry, as well as her eternal devotation to Krishna.

Meera pictured below as well as a figure of Krishna in the distance.

Surprsingly, we have our own Mira too. And if we're comparing Zios to Krishna, this relationship makes alot of sense. Meera was in love with Krishna, and Mira was in love with Zios. "In her last years, Meera lived in Dwarka or Vrindavan, where legends state she miraculously disappeared by merging into an idol of Krishna in 1547. While miracles are contested by scholars for the lack of historical evidence, it is widely acknowledged that Meera dedicated her life to Lord Krishna, composing songs of devotion and was one of the most important poet-saint of the Bhakti movement period." That paragraph was taken from Meera's Wikipedia entry, and relates alot to the story of Mira and Zios. Its said that Meera one day miraculously dissappeared just like Zios did and they only things she left behind were her poems, music, and of course, her devotion and husband-like considered relationship between her and Krishna.

Krishna pictured below.

Most of Meera's poems are dedicated to God in the form of Krishna, calling him the Dark One or the Mountain Lifter. "Some Meera songs include Radha, the lover of Krishna, and her jealousy and hatred for them. All her poems have philosophical connotations, mainly centered around Krishna."

The "Dark One" and "Mountain Lifter" terms are certaintly strange. Why would somebody refer to a "Dark One" in such a loving term?

Lets not forget the example of Zios not only representing the light in most cases, but spiritually, representing the dark. There's alot of evidence to actually suggest instead of the common thought that Zios represents the Sun and Mira the Moon, it may actually be the vice versa in a yin yang sort of way. Light and Dark cannot coexist without eachother and Zios and Mira are a great example of that.

I may explain the Zios is the moon thing a different time but you're going to have to roll with me here on this one... Zios is a perfect representation of the dark. Dark gives space and life to the light, but of course light always gives life to the dark.

Also, "Mountain-Bearer"... Not much to say here. Quite literally what Zios did to create Jamaa. "In her poems, Krishna is a yogi and lover, and she herself is a yogini ready to take her place by his side into a spiritual marital bliss. Meera's style combines impassioned mood, defiance, longing, anticipation, joy and ecstasy of union, always centred on Krishna."

Let's take a look at perhaps the most well known poem by Meera... And perhaps the one that relates the most to Jamaasian Lore. I am aware Julian2 has covered this in a video before, but here im going to take a proper analysis.

My Dark One has gone to an alien land. He has left me behind, he's never returned, he's never sent me a single word. So I've stripped off my ornaments, jewels and adornments, cut my hair from my head. And put on holy garments, all on his account, seeking him in all four directions. Mira: unless she meets the Dark One, her Lord, she doesn't even want to live.

— Mira Bai, Translated by John Stratton Hawley

Alot to process here. Let's see what we can compare.

●"My Dark One has gone to an Alien Land"- Zios= Krishna: has gone to the realm of the phantoms/alien land

●"He's left me behind, he's never returned, he's never sent me a single word"- Exactly what Zios did. Never responded to Mira and didn't speak to her again after his dissappearance.

●"So I've stripped off my ornaments, jewels and adornments, cut my hair from my head"- Julian2 suggested this may be about Peck running away but this has been outdated. This could possibly refer to the "jewels and adornments" being the Alpha stones as Mira gives them away.

●"And put on holy garments, all on his account, seeking him in all four directions."- This refers to Mira yet again giving the alphas their Alpha Stones and after that she prepares to go out and find Zios.

●"Meera: unless she meets the Dark One, her Lord, she doesn't even want to live."- Unless Mira doesn't meet her Dark One- in this case, Zios-she doesn't feel the will to live, referencing her sorrow and despair without him.

I'm not sure about you, but I'm very convinced AJHQ may have based their lore on this poem specifically.

There is another poem that can relate to the legend of Jamaa, but there's not much to infer. I'm not going to do a thorough line by line analysis, but hopefully looking back on the analysis I just did you can atleast gather some stuff.

After making me fall for you so hard, where are you going? Until the day I see you, no repose: my life, like a fish washed on shore, flails in agony. For your sake I'll make myself a yogini, I'll hurl myself to death on the saw of Kashi. Mira's Lord is the clever Mountain Lifter, and I am his, a slave to his lotus feet.

"Meera speaks of a personal relationship with Krishna as her lover, lord and mountain lifter. (Sanson Ki Mala Pe Simru Main Pi Ka Naam) is written by Meera Bai Shows her dedication towards Lord Krishna. The characteristic of her poetry is complete surrender." -Quote from Wikipedia

The song of Sanson Ki Mala Pe Simru Main Pi Ka Naam is an interesting one-referring to her "beading the name of her beloved on the garland of my breaths". Interestingly, this song refers to Krishna as a Cuckoo Bird- A little bit of a crack theory, but this may suggest Zios could actually be the same behind that mask of his?

Examples of this bird-referring lyric are this quote from that same song:

"He is a melodious bird

He is a magnificent man

This foolish girl has taken

The beloved’s heart as the Lord"

I will link the full song plus English translation below!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/ekta25.wordpress.com/2011/06/23/sanson-ki-mala-pe-simroon-main-pi-ka-naam-on-the-garland-of-my-breaths-i-have-bejewelled-my-beloveds-name/amp/

Intresting... Perhaps Zios IS some sort of bird!

In conclusion, Mirabai's poetry, devotion and songs have alot of connections to Jamaasian Lore! I find this interesting, but this did help us gather quite a bit of information!

#animal jam tumblr #Animal jam #jamblr #lore #ajpc #ajpw #lore analysis

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hanamakkiss · 4 years

Text

One Dumb Deed Deserves Another

Iwaizumi Hajime x f!reader

Summary: Five times Iwaizumi and you meet.

Word count: 4k+

A/n: this took so long... but I quite like it! Pretty much just fluff and shenanigans. As u can tell I’m in love with him.

Your first meeting was nothing short of disastrous, Iwaizumi fondly recalls.

His peaceful morning walk through the park to campus was shattered by one very loud, very directed at him shouting.

“HEY! HEY YOU!!! THE GUY IN THE DENIM JACKET!!!! HOLD ON A SEC!” a high-pitched yet commanding voice echoes through the practically empty park, clueing him in that it was probably him you were referring to.

He pauses to look skyward, making a silent prayer for the strength to make it through the day, before turning around. He’s met with a red-faced young woman who was currently struggling to catch up to him.

You stopped a few feet in front of him, hands on your knees, panting, and he waits for you to catch your breath.

“Hi,” you look up, unabashedly grinning, and he finds you have a surprisingly sweet voice when not shouting. He quirks a brow, inquiring.

“Yea so, uh, I'm a photographer," you hold up the camera around your neck, "student, actually, and uh, I just took a photo of you? I mean, I did, cause your back looked really nice with the surrounding trees and sky, especially when you were staring at something, a bird maybe? And with a little colour editing the image would really pop, so the photo turned out really nice," you smiled shyly, looking at the photo in question (presumably).

“O...kay?” he’s not sure how to respond.

“Do you want to see it?” your smile is infectious.

His lips quirk up as he steps closer to you, peering over your arm (it really was a cool photo), “But you’re telling me all this why...?”

“Oh! Right. So, uh, I wanted to know if you would be okay with me using your photo in an assignment? I understand if you want to say no, but that would be such a pity, cause you look so cool here, and if no one else got to see it it would be a tragedy. But it’s up to you really! I could just keep it in my files maybe? If you would allow me!” your face has steadily gotten redder with every word that tumbled out of your mouth, and at the end of your spiel you were looking absolutely mortified, using your camera to hide your face.

“Hey, calm down, it’s fine, you can use it,” he latches on to your shoulders hoping to keep you grounded as you looked on the verge of hyperventilating, “Are you alright?”

“Yea! Yea, I’m fine, I just didn’t expect you to be so,” he tilts his head slightly, brows furrowing, “hot,” you squeaked out.

At your response Iwaizumi's face burns up. He knew people generally found him attractive, but to have it so bluntly said to his face, was not exactly something he was used to. Especially when said with such sincerity.

His hands immediately retract.

“Oh. Thanks, I guess? Uh, I’ll be seeing you then, good luck with your assignment.” He scratches the back of his neck.

“Thank you so much! I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes!” you gave him a low bow, nearly slamming into his chest in the process. Standing back up equally as suddenly, you rushed to introduce yourself, face still the shade of ruby.

He can’t help but chuckle, “Iwaizumi Hajime,” he offers.

Opening your mouth, you’re cut off by an alarm that blares from your bag. As you scramble to shut it off, your eyes bulge. “Shit! I’m gonna be late! Sorry! I need to go now!” You shoot him an apologetic smile before sprinting.

“Thank you again! I’ll treat you someday!” he sees you wave from afar.

Iwaizumi is just left in your dust, amused and wondering how would you, considering he never even gave you his number.

Your second meeting was pure coincidence.

He was in line at the campus cafe, when the short person in front sneezed so hard they fell backwards into him.

Oof. His hands reached out instinctively to catch them.

“Hey, you alright?” he peers down into their face-

“I’m so sorry!” they tilt up-

and the two heads collide.

He grunts, rubbing his chin where it hurt. The hood falls off their head.

“It’s you.” he could almost laugh at the comedic timing, of course it’s you.

You look up, hands still covering your forehead, and exclaim excitedly, “Iwaizumi! Fancy seeing you here! How are you?”

He chuckles at your enthusiasm, ruffling your (already mussed up) hair, “I’m good, how did your assignment go?”

“It went great! My tutor only had constructive criticism for it. Speaking about that, let me buy you a drink,” you attempt to tame the mess he created, “as thanks,” you grin.

Any refusal on his part was washed away by your insistence, leaving the two of you on the side waiting for your morning brews.

“By the way, is it okay if I ask you something else?”

“Shoot.”

“Ever since that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” you tuck your hair behind your ear, shyly, (he tenses, vaguely aware of where this might go) “and I was wondering if you would maybe, you know, if you’re free, would you be willing to” you took a deep breath, “be my model?” your eyes were practically sparkling.

Iwaizumi feels light-headed. It's amazing how every other sentence from you gives me whiplash, he thinks, it must be a skill. He mentally heaves a relieved sigh, happy that he didn’t need to reject another date offer.

His silence causes you to fidget, looking away, “Uh, it’s really okay if you don’t want to, I just thought you would be a good fit for my next project, and you seemed like a nice guy, so I thought it would be worth a shot, and I could always-”

"No, no, I’d be glad to help you out," he finds he prefers you when your eyes have a shine to them, and it’s not like he had too much on his plate at the moment.

The smile you show him is infectious, and he really can’t stop his features from mirroring your own.

You actually remember to exchange numbers this time, promising to text him about the specifics of the photoshoot soon before (once again) rushing off for class.

As he’s walking, iced coffee in hand, he mulls over the fact that he’s entirely comfortable around you, despite barely even knowing you.

Your third meeting was certainly a colourful experience.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

On the mentioned day, Iwaizumi finds himself sighing when Hanamaki ushers a mousy looking you into the gymnasium.

“Found this one outside muttering “Iwaizumi” in a panic,” he gives a good natured laugh, “figured she could use some help.”

“Thank you so much! There’s way too many people here, I thought this was just a practice match…” you trailed off.

Iwaizumi’s nostrils flare, “It is, and it’s all because of a specific bastard,” he jabs a finger in the direction of Oikawa, who was currently surrounded by girls.

You take a quick photo, “And who is he? Seems popular,” you inspect the photo.

“Oh? You’ve never heard of Oikawa Tooru? College superstar?” Hanamaki leans in towards you, smirk in place.

Seeing you shrink back, Iwaizumi instinctively moves closer. Makkis eyebrows lift.

“Oh! I’ve heard that name before! My friends talk about him sometimes! This is my first time seeing him though,” you happily snap another shot, “they’ll like these.”

He watches you review the photos when Matsukawa appears next to Makki, “Who’s this?”

“Oh right, let me introduce you guys,” and he calls over the rest of the team for a round of introductions, ending with Oikawa, who waves at you from across the court before calling everyone to start warm-up.

Throughout the game you stay near the sideline, careful to keep away from the ball’s trajectory (you can’t afford another camera), snapping as many impactful shots as you could. You managed to get a few good shots of everyone, and some satisfactory shots of Iwaizumi.

It comes to a close with him scoring the winning spike and you rush to get every possible second of it. As you watch the team celebrate the point through the lens he suddenly looks straight at you, and flashes you the biggest grin you’ve ever seen him sport.

And it’s like the world goes silent and you’ve forgotten how to breathe. The only saving grace you have is your fingers instinctively pressing the trigger, cementing this moment in time.

You’re shocked out of your reverie by the shutter clicking and you hurriedly smile and flash him a thumbs up, hoping the warmth of your cheeks was unnoticeable from the distance.

As soon as he’s done with the after match meeting he rushes over to you, followed by a couple of teammates who were interested in the photos.

“You alright?”

“More than alright! This was my first time watching volleyball and so close to boot! You were amazing! Spectacular! Especially that last point! I got some good shots of it! Wanna see?”

In your excited rambling you failed to notice the faint pinkness of his face, thrusting your camera towards him.

Soon a little group had gathered around you, jostling to get a better view of the shots you took. Scrolling through one by one each shot was met by rambunctious comments as they marvel at how they match looked through a camera. Nearing the end of your roll, Matsukawa makes a comment.

“Why are so many of these photos of Iwaizumi though?” his eyes hold a teasing glint that looks out of place with his mouth still in a fine line. (You choose to ignore the concealed assumption for the sake of your heart.)

Your mouth forms an O, looking straight at the person in question, “Did you not tell them?”

He avoids your gaze, “I didn’t, only said that you were our photographer for this match,” he scratches his neck.

You let out a mirthful laugh at his embarrassment, eyes twinkling, “To answer, the only reason I’m being your photographer is cause Iwaizumi agreed to be my model for school, and I’m doing it as thanks,”

"If you need a model, wouldn't someone like me be better?" Oikawa flashes you a cheeky smile.

You cock your head, appraising Oikawa. He preens under your stare.

"It wouldn't work for this project,” shaking your head slightly, “you know your own attractiveness, and have made it a part of your identity. On the other hand, Iwaizumi has confidence that solely stems from other aspects of his life, this causes him to radiate a kind of rugged charm that just pulls people to him. Like some kind of reliable pillar, it makes you want to depend on him. That kind of energy was exactly what I was looking for!" you beam.

The boys blink, clearly surprised at your answer. Oikawa is the first to break the silence, laughing.

"Wow, Iwa! I didn't know you had such amazing energy! Wonder if you would share any of that with me someday!" he pats him on the back harder than necessary. Iwaizumis’ face burns as he glares at his best friend, daring him to say another word.

At Iwaizumi's less than stellar response, you start to worry you’ve said something wrong, "Oh, uh, I didn't mean to imply you weren't attractive! In fact I think you're probably one of the most attractive people I know, uh and I didn't mean to call you a pillar! It's just a phrase!" you slap a hand across your mouth, eyes going wide. A pillar? Seriously? God, could this get any worse?

“Let me walk you out,” Iwaizumi grits out as his friends laugh.

Newsflash, it can.

You withdrew into yourself, resigned to just let him push you out. The walk to the gym entrance is silent.

Just as you were about to split, he speaks.

“Sorry...about them,”

You look back, surprised. “Uh…?”

Eloquence.

He gives you an embarrassed smile, “They can be a bit much, but they mean no harm.”

Oh. It still takes you a second to realise that his earlier irritation was not directed at you, and you mentally sigh in relief. “It’s cool, they were nice,” you smile.

“You looked really uncomfortable in there,”

“Ah,” you rub your neck. “I’m just... not the best around big groups,”

“Ah.”

The two of you shift awkwardly.

“I’ll be going now,” you make to leave, “Thanks again,”

“No problem.” He laughs, ”Think you gave me too much praise back there,”

“Nah, just cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there,”

The huge smile that accompanied your words causes his heart to skip a beat.

“See you around,” you give a little wave.

“Uh-yea, see ya.”

He watches you walk away, heart threatening to jump right out his chest. Before he can even begin to contemplate what just happened, an all too annoying voice interrupts him.

“You’re into her.”

“Am not.” He huffs toward the brunet.

Oikawa just laughs, “She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s into you too.”

“Keep talking and I’ll kick your ass.”

The taller boy skirts away, giggling. He doesn’t miss the way Iwaizumi’s cheeks pink.

Your fourth meeting was Iwaizumi’s’ prayers answered.

After the match, the two of you don’t cross paths much, opting instead for online communication.

Due to both of you being terrible texters, the text conversation never goes too in-depth. Mostly keeping to studies, interests and random topics. It’s only when one of you calls the other, that the conversation intensifies, lasting several hours.

After one such call, Oikawa groans from the doorway. Iwaizumi instantly springs up from his bed.

“Why don’t the two of you get together already,” he drags out the last word.

“Why are you in my room.”

“It’s 1am, you’re messing up my beauty sleep.”

“You were eavesdropping,” he squints, tone accusing.

“The walls are thin! It’s hard not to,” Oikawa defends himself, “besides, you laugh like a goddamn horse.”

At Iwaizumi’s glare, he backtracks, hands raised defensively, “I’m kidding! Kidding! Goodnight Iwa,”

“Close the damn door!”

He sighs, finally alone and wonders how is he going to ask you out for a meal. (Just to hang out, definitely not a date)

When you text him again.

Damn, this is as close as he’ll come to believing in higher power.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

The next week, he rushes down to the gallery after his evening class. He makes it with half an hour to spare.

Looking around, he quickly spots some familiar portraits and makes his way over. He sees you engaged in conversation, and he likes to think that the way your face lit up upon eye contact has something to do with him.

You cut the conversation and step towards him.

“You made it!”

He lets out a chuckle, “Course I would, sorry I’m late, class got dragged,”

“No, no, glad you’re even here,” you wave your hand flippantly, drawing his eyes to the rest of your body, where you had worn a simple cocktail dress that fit you well.

He takes in a sharp breath, “You look great,” slips out.

“Oh, um, thank you, you don’t look too shabby yourself,” your smile takes on a bashful shade and he looks around at the other patrons, grimacing.

“Bullshit, I didn’t know it was such a formal event, otherwise I would have dressed better,”

Your eyes quickly scanned his outfit, dark wash jeans paired with a white tee and bomber jacket, “You look fine,” leaning in, you stage-whisper, “If you ask me, you look a lot more put together than most of the people I’ve seen today.”

“Earlier on someone even came in piss-drunk,” you laugh.

“No way, midday?”

“Yes! Security had to escort them out, total mess. It was entertaining though,” you gently guide him towards your portion of the exhibition.

5 portraits titled Magnetism hung neatly on a wall. Two of them of him, he notes.

“It’s just a student exhibition, so it’s not much,” you explain, chuckling.

He frowns, “Don’t downplay your skills, you worked hard and got selected right? That counts for something,”

Your face goes slack for a moment before morphing into a soft smile, “Thank you, I do have a bad habit of that.”

He feels a warmth creep up his neck, shitshitshit, that’s not good for my heart, quick-

“So what’s the inspiration behind your portraits?” He shifts his attention towards the exhibition (ie. away from your warm eyes)

This easily distracts you and you go into an excited monologue about your motivations and what you were trying to convey through the atmosphere, lighting and editing. He only manages to keep up with half of it (it has nothing to do with how cute you looked animatedly waving your hands around).

You move on to explain each photo and how they embodied a different aspect of Magnetism that you wanted to convey to the viewer, ending with the photo you took of him the day you met.

“Fun fact: this is my second favourite photo of you,” you grin cheekily.

He plays along, “Why so?”

“Caaaaause it led to us meeting!” Your playful demeanour shoots an arrow straight to his heart.

Now grinning, he continues the banter, “And is the other photo your favourite?”

“Nope! That’s the third, because it shows everyone’s trust in you,”

He’s a little intrigued now, “Then which is the first?”

“Thaaaat’s a secret!” You wink, cheeks flushed.

Andddddd there goes his heart.

He’s forced to come to terms with the fact that his infatuation with you has turned into a full blown, rock to the face, crush. And all in the span of a second.

He flushes, “Well, maybe another day then,” and turns back to the photos.

“None of these people are facing the camera. Why is that,”

“I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me that all day!” And you go into another spiel. He realises just how much he enjoys listening to you speak about your passions.

Soon the curator announces the closing of the gallery and the two of you make your way out. You make an offhand remark about still needing to cook. He immediately suggests grabbing a bite together and you are just as quick to agree.

After enjoying a wonderful dinner at a local restaurant, you stop him just as he tries to get away with paying the bill.

“Hey! I’ll pay half, let me see the receipt,” you reach for the check, only to have it pulled out of your grasp.

“Nah, my treat,” he continues to wave the check out of your reach. This goes on for a little while before you cry out in annoyance.

“Oh come on, you don’t have to, this isn’t a date or anything,” and he freezes at your words.

He’s caught off guard by how much he wishes it was, if only the little words would dislodge themselves from his throat and let him ask you out.

With him distracted you lunge for the check and succeed, happily scanning through and making calculations. Once done you hand it back to him and promptly transfer the money.

You leave the restaurant in high spirits while Iwaizumi feels kind of feels defeated. He still offers to walk you back to your dorm, which you agree to after minimal convincing.

The walk back is filled with conversation that flows naturally between the two of you, making up for your horrendous texting game. It’s something he finds he doesn’t mind, as long as he knows you actually like talking to him, he’s fine with waiting hours for a reply.

“So, this is me,” you come to a stop in front of an old building. It’s not far from his apartment, he makes a mental note.

“This is you,” he cringes inwardly.

Thankfully, you just laugh, “Thanks for coming to the exhibition and spending time with me, I really enjoyed that…uh...”

His lips turn up, teasing, “Not-date?”

You flush, “Yea, that not-date,”

Both of you stand in comfortable silence, unwilling to part. He knows how stupid this is, two idiots just skirting around a relationship, but he doesn’t know what he should do. Sometimes he wishes he was a teensy bit more like Oikawa, but the thought is vanquished before it could even begin to take root.

“So,” you break the silence, “see you around?”

He lets out a breath and nods, “Yea, definitely,” and you wave.

He waits until you’re safely in the building before making his way back, sighing way too much for someone in college.

He spends the walk thinking about how much he enjoyed that “not-date”, and hopes soon he could enjoy an actual date with you.

Your fifth meeting was the end of Iwaizumi’s patience.

It’s been weeks since he’d realised his feelings for you. And he knows you feel the same way towards him too. You’re not subtle.

You are, however, extremely oblivious and respectful. Ever since he had mentioned early on in the friendship that he wasn’t looking for anything relationship-wise, you had dutifully dodged every single one of his advances. At this rate, your non-existent relationship was on the road to nowhere.

He’s sick of it, and at his wits end.

He finds Makki and Mattsun lounging in the living room.

“Hey, uh,” both heads turn his way. “I need some advice.”

“Well, my friend,” Makki moves, patting the newly vacated seat next to him, “you’ve come to the right place,”

As the couch dips under him, he takes a moment to register that Yes, he is really doing this, before he launches into detail about his feelings, frustration with the state of things and asks for help.

"Simply put,” Makki interjects, “you want to do the do, want to pound that duck, want to woohoo her-"

"What the fuck is a woohoo," Iwaizumi cuts him off sharply.

Mattsun's jaw drops. Makki gasps in delight, clapping his hands together, "A woohoo is when two sims who love each other very much-"

"Oh my god," he sinks his head into his hands, "you're referencing the sims, to talk about sex."

Oikawa sticks his head through the door, "Who's trying to woohoo who?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." Iwaizumi screams.

Oikawa dramatically places a hand on his heart and almost looks hurt before realisation dawns. “This is about little miss photographer, isn’t it?” He smirks when Mattsun wiggles his brows suggestively as a response.

Iwaizumi lets out a heavy sigh, resigned, "Yes, it's about her. Also, no," he looks to the strawberry blond, "I don't just want to have sex with her."

"So you do want to bang her," he could feel the smugness emanating from all three of them. The vein on his forehead threatens to pop. He passes a hand over his face, wondering if an aspirin could save him now.

"Just... just help me think of a way to ask her out,"

"Why don't you just ask her straight out? Always works," Oikawa supplied.

Iwa groans, “If I ask her out normally she’ll think its just as friends,”

A pause.

"Also I want it to be special, like a cute story for the future, you know?" he admits. Makki coos.

Silence falls as they brainstorm.

After some time Matsukawa pipes up, "I... might have an idea,"

All heads swivel towards him.

"She's a photographer, right?"

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Iwaizumi! Over here!" you excitedly wave him over.

"Thanks for willingly being my model again," you grinned, "somehow that physique of yours seems to get me better critiques. ...Wait a minute, does my tutor have a crush on you?" he sighed when you seriously pondered that thought for a moment.

You give him a brief rundown of your assignment and what you needed him to do. It was rather simple this time as the focus was more on lighting, you just needed him to walk casually and look at the camera every once in a while.

After the first couple of shots you see him reach into his pocket and pull out some sort of... banner? Your brows furrow as you continue snapping shots. Only when he fully unfurls it do you cease movement, letting your camera slip out of your hands entirely.

Thankfully, your camera strap works perfectly and the weight of it dropping against your neck brings you back to life, snapping your mouth shut.

Iwaizumi Hajime stands five feet away from you, holding up a small banner that reads “Please go on an actual date with me.”

“I- You- what….?” Is the best you come up with.

He grins, “It reads, I really like you, please go out with me,”

“You like…?” Seems like you’re full on malfunctioning now, and about to overheat too.

“I like you, have been liking you for a while now,” he rubs his neck nervously, “so, what’s your answer?”

You nod frantically, no longer trusting your mouth. His grin stretches impossibly wide.

You’ve always known you were a bumbling idiot and a mess. But now looking at his laughing face backlit by the setting sun, you can’t help thinking that maybe being an idiot wasn’t all that bad.

The shutter clicks.

This might just be your favourite photo yet.

(Matsukawa is later asked how he knew you would like such a gesture. “Judging from the way you spoke of her, I figured she was into sappy shit, and that you probably was into it too.” He gets headlocked for a full five minutes.)

#Iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi imagine #koi writes #hope yall like it

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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Hey dude! Do you have any recommendations for LGBTQ+ movies in the romance genre that have like a happy ending. I really don't care how old they are. I'm feeling the Gay™ hence I need the Gay™. You feel me?

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NONNIE

First sorry for taking so long, not only did I have to timeline this :) but :) my computer :) froze :) after writing like :) 2 pages :) and I had to do it again :)

So anyway let it be said, the LGBT dialogue is one of osmosis and shared growth and awareness. Some of these films will be very poorly dated, but as you (thankfully) mentioned that them being old wasn’t a *problem*, expect a lot of old stuff. Because one of the most important things to have under your belt when talking about the LGBT media representation battle is the actual journey from A to B – be that incrementalization, subtextual inclusion, text-breeching features, outright evocative and groundbreaking films at the time (which is what MOST of this list will be) and an improvement in our dialogue; let us never forget that while tr*nss*xual is considered a slur and transgender is proper, tr*nss*xual was at one point the politically correct way to speak it – things like that breach in our growing understanding of the spectrum of human sexuality.

I *WILL* disclaimer these aren’t all romance, so if you explicitly want romance, google them and take a look if it sounds to appeal, but I’m taking this as a general cinema history plug considering what a confused mess fandom conversation about LGBT history in film or modern text as applicable, accepted or not.

Wonder Bar (1936) (I wouldn’t really call this queer cinema, but if you have the time to watch it too, I think it was the first explicit mention of homosexual engagement even if it was fleetingly brief. You might even call it Last Call style. A blink and you’ll miss it plug that was still decades ahead of its time)

Sylvia Scarlet (1936) (Again, I wouldn’t call this queer cinema, but a lot of the community takes it as the first potential trans representation on TV due to the lead literally swapping gender presentation, even if the presentation is… not what we would modernly call representation IMO)

Un Chant d'Amour (1950) (Worth it for the sheer fact that it pissed off fundies so bad they took it all the way to the US supreme court to get it declared obscene.)

The Children’s Hour (1961) (also known as the 1961 lesson to “don’t be a gossipy, outting bitch”)

Victim (1961) (The first english film to use the word “homosexual” and to focus explicitly on gay sexuality. People might look on it disdainfully from modern lenses, but it really helped progress british understanding of homosexuality)

Scorpio Rising (1964) (Lmao this one deadass got taken to court when it pissed people off and California had to rule that it didn’t count as obscene bc it had social value, worth it for the history if nothing else)

Theorem (1968) (Because who doesn’t wanna watch a 60s flick about a bisexual angel, modern issues and associations be damned)

The Killing of Sister George (1968) (by the makers of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane)

Midnight Cowboy (1969) (…have I had sassy contagonists in RP make a Dean joke off of this more than once, maybe)

Fellini-Satyricon (1969) (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS)

The Boys in the Band (1970) (This… this… this made a lot of fuss. Just remember leather)

Pink Narcissus (1971) (a labor of love shot on someone’s personal camera)

Death in Venice (1971) (This is basically a T&S prequel but whatever, based on a much older book)

Cabaret (1972)

Pink Flamingos (1972) (SHIT’S WILD)

The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant (1972) (The title doesn’t lie, be warned)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) [god I hope you’ve at least seen this]

Fox and His Friends (1975) (some really hard lessons that are still viable today, that just because someone acknowledges your sexuality doesn’t mean they give a shit about you as a person, and that some will even abuse the knowledge for gain)

The Terence Davies Trilogy (1983) (REALLY interesting history look it up, it’s sort of one of those “drawn from own experience” story short sets)

The Times of Harvey Milk (1984) (Documentary)

Desert Hearts (1985) (Pretty much the first film to put lesbianism into a good light as a true focus based on a novel from the sixties)

Parting Glances (1986) (the only film its creator got out before his death from the aids epidemic)

Law of Desire (1987) (two men and a trans woman in a love triangle, kinda ahead of its time)

Maurice (1987) (This one’s really interesting, cuz it was based on a book made about 15 years before it, but the book itself had been written half a century earlier and wasn’t published until after the guy died, he just thought it’d never get published Cuz Gay, so basically it’s based on a story written in like, the 20s finally getting screen time. It has a bittersweet but positive-leaning-ish ending without disregarding the cost that can come with it and even addresses class issues at the same time 100% DO RECOMMEND)

Tongues Untied (1989) (a documentary to give voices to LGBT black men)

Longtime Companion (1990) (This one’s title alone is history, based on a NYT phrasing for how they talked about people’s partners dying, eg longtime companion, during the AIDS epidemic)

Paris Is Burning (1990) (Drag culture and related sexual and gender identity exploration as it intersected with class issues and other privileges explored in a documentary)

The Crying Game (1992)( I should correct this that I guess it’s more, 1992 considered, “SURPRISE, DIL HAS A DILL!” – I guess I really didn’t do that summary justice by modern language and dialogue as much as how people in the 90s were talking about that and that’s a my bad. LIKE. SEE, EVEN I CAN FUCK UP MY LANGUAGE I’M SORRY CAN I BLAME THE STRAIGHTS T_T) #90skidproblems – I guess I should call it a trans film. And this alone tells me I should go watch it again to recode it in my brain modernly rather than like circa de la 2000 understanding.

The Bird Cage (1996) (So you mix drag culture, otherwise heterosexually connected lovebirds, and then realize the girl comes from an alt-rightish house and the guy comes from a Two Dads Home and does cabaret, how to deal with the issues OF this conflict when it’s between you and your happiness, even if the fight isn’t even your own as much as it is that of the person you love. The answer is PROBABLY NOT to dress in drag and pretend to be straight, but what are you going to do? – while played for laughs we’d consider modernly crude, the fact that they even dared to approach this narrative was pretty loud)

The Celluloid Closet (1996) (Ever heard of the Vito Russo test for LGBT representation? This is based on a book by Vito Russo.)

Happy Together (1997) (Ain’t this shit an ironic name; a mutual narrative, via chinese flick, of hong kong ceding to china and an irrevocably tangled MLM pairing as a giant mirrored metaphor)

Boys Don’t Cry (1999) (one of the most groundbreaking films about trans identity at the time)

Stranger Inside (2001) (As easy as it is to recoil to the idea of “black gays in jail”, the film makers actually went and consulted prisoners and put a great deal of focus into intersectional african american issues that really weren’t around even in straight films at the time)

Transamerica (2005) (While it made a bit of a fuss for not casting an actual trans actor, it was one of the first times a big budget studio really tried to tackle it which really pushed us forward)

Call Me by Your Name (2017) (since I’ve apparently leaned really heavy old cinema throw in a modern one lmaooooo)

Also honorable The Kids Are All Right (2010) mention for the sake of the fucking title alone.

And to any incarnation of “On the Road” by Kerouac, which

Was originally a book

Released a sanitized de-gayed edition because of the times

Later released the full homo manuscript

had a few film adaptations

Was one of Kripke’s founding inspirations for Supernatural once he left behind “Some reporter guy chases stories” and took the formula of Sal and Dean (and tbh later, Carlo) in a beat generation vibe gone modern as we know it today.

Reading both versions of this can actually help some folks currently understand that when you get confused over some shit (WHY IS CARLO SO UPSET? WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE AN UPSET GIRLFRIEND??? WHY IS HE SO JEALOUS AND SAD WHEN DEAN IS AROUND GIRLS???? WE JUST DONT KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW) it’s because some big money asshat bleached the content, and sometimes, it takes a while for the full script to come out and again, surprise, it’s been GAY, they just didn’t want to OFFEND anybody. *jazz hands*

Now if you wanna go WAY WAY BACK, during 191X years, a bunch of gender role flicks came out like Charley’s Aunt, Mabel’s Blunder and the Florida Enchantment.

Also where is @thecoffeebrain-blog to yell about the necessity of watching Oz, for the next few hours? But no, seriously, just look into the entire LGBT *HISTORY* of Oz.

Beyond that though I’m gonna stop here cuz hi that’s a lot. I really don’t know how much counts as “happy ending” but if I had to give an LGBT cinema rec list, that’s it as a sum. I don’t really have like, a big portfolio of UWU HAPPY ENDING GAYS because 1. there aren’t a lot of those but 2. to me, it’s not about the ending, it’s about the journey. Be that in flick or through culture and history itself.

If you want more happy ending stuff, you definitely have to look at 2010+, but it’s not like we’re in a rich and fertile landscape yet so honestly just googling that would probably serve you better since I don’t explicitly explore romance genre or happy endings to really have a collection. LGBT life is hard and film often reflects that if we’re making genuine statements about it and really representing it, and we’re just now getting to a point of reliably having the chance at a happy ending. That or maybe someone can add like “Explicit happy endings” lists after this that has more experience in that subgenre.

Also, I can’t emphasize ENOUGH to remember what was progressive then is not what is progressive now, and frankly, what some people think is progressive now they’ll probably look back on what they said and feel really fuckin’ embarrassed. See: “It’s not text because by alt right homophobic dialogue, M/M sex isn’t gay if you do the secret handshake” MGTOW kinda crazy ass dialogue or parallel narratives they inspire that encourage self-closeting and denial based on the pure idea that being gay makes you somehow lesser, so It’s Not That. Like. I am. 99% sure. At least half of the people talking in this fandom. Are going to regret that the internet is forever. And maybe hope hosting servers end in the inevitable nuclear war that will annihilate this planet.

Also, edit: Speaking of mistaken dialogues and words aging poorly, I’d like to apologize from the poor description I rendered “The Crying Game” with, but that really goes to show how deep-seated the issue is we can so casually fuck up identifying a trans narrative as SURPRISE DICK IS GAY when we were all absorbing the content like 20+ years ago and HOW HARD it can be to de-code yourself from that kind of programming because here I am, writing a giant assed rep post and fucking it up because my brain hadn’t soaked that movie since Y2K. Guess what, time for me to go watch the Crying Game again.

#lgbtqia #representation #media #cinema history

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