#<- fucking hate that btw how do i fight for my beliefs then
Note
oh- I actually punched 3 of my teachers once-
Anyway so-
it happens !
#GOD IM SO ENVIOUS OF YOU RN#sid answers#unfortunately i was raised with the ideology of “even if you know you're right. you have to stay silent. lest you wish to be met by scrutiny#+ from peers and authority alike.“#<- fucking hate that btw how do i fight for my beliefs then#<- through reasonable debates that the authority figures start OF COURSE HAH#<- these fuckers dont know im incredibly good at passive aggressively stating fact after fact about subjects im passionate about (being#+trans. in the philippines.)#<- im just saying if thee teachers were robots they gotta be replaced by newer models#i feel like i have revealed too much. i must have revealed too much. back to silly mode
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
UPPERMOONS' ROLE IN THE BEDROOM
NSFW Headcannons - Minors DNI
For Gyutaro, Daki, and Kaigaku
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Gyutaro
KINKY
All I have to say
He's put in a sub space easily because bro has no clue what he's doing
He's never been touched this way, nor has he ever thought of touching someone this way
(Until you came along)
Huuuuge praise kink
Like he just wants to be your pretty boy 😢
He will do anything to please you just to hear you call him that
Begging, whining, the whole shebang
He feels like no one would ever touch an ugly demon like him this way, why you? He's very insecure
I feel like he may go feral and just use you one day when he comes home
Probably after a really bad day, or Muzan scolding him for letting Daki hold him back
Like he just comes home and completely defiles you
He wants to witness your little fall from grace, wants to bring you down to his level and punish you for 'messing with him'
Literally just you loving him but go off I guess 😭
He wouldn't stop until you're absolutely wrecked, his cum leaking from everywhere his dick will fit
(Or won't fit)
Even after he'd tell you he's so sorry, so sorry for destroying darling
-> softer sex with lots of praising and reassurance that you truly do love him 😢
Daki
Such a brat 😭😭
Like she can keep up with her customers, but she doesn't have to keep up the facade around you
Cute, sweet, docile little lady -> GONE
She does not want to be dominated AT ALL
In fact, she hates you trying to assert power over her
She degrades you like nobody's business 🥺
It gets her wet knowing you accept that she's better than you, and more powerful
She's only doing this 'to get herself off'
It is my opinion she has LOTS of toys to mess you up with.
Like a whole collection BDSM shit
Step on me
She will do that btw
Does not hesitate to put you in your place
You're below her, and that's final
Need to cum? You better ask permission
You BETTER ask permission
Her punishments are brutal
She likes to edge you, and having infinite stamina she can do that all night if she so desires
Better not cross her 🤫
What really gets her going is when you compliment her. She lovesssss that food for her ego, someone as cute as you begging and praising her while she's destroying you
will peg you any day of the week
In reality, her and her brother have it in common that they really just love to be loved for who they are hot demons instead of what they look like
Daki will cuddle with you after your sessions, showering eachother in love and praise 🥺
Kaigaku
Bitch boy 😤
Acts all tough, but he likes it when you fight back and take what's yours
No joke though if you piss him off, he will annihilate you
He secretly wants to get caught balls deep in you (as long as it's not Koku)
It boosts his confidence to take you, wrap his hand around your neck and wreck you until you can't handle it anymore
When he does submit to you though, he's always challenging your authority
(He likes to be punished by you, he thinks it's so hot when you're upset with him)
His moans are 😩✋️
He knows it too, this bitch will moan in your ear on purpose, saying things like "my peach, you feel so fucking good on my cock, do you like that?"
He doesn't give two fucks how loud he is
cannot wait to see this mf animated 💀
He'll tease and bully you until the very end, telling you "you better not fucking cum"
On the other hand, his bratty demeanor will dissolve when he gets close, and you like to make him taste his own medicine
He HATES it (loves it) when you tease him back
It turns him on beyond belief
Like you two can just be talking but the moment you've got something sassy to say, you better be ready to face HORNY KAIGAKU.
He loves to degrade and be degraded
His aftercare is usually very half-assed, bro just falls asleep 💀
He'll clean you up a little if you're really fucked out
He prefers you to clean eachother up and talk a little bit after, like a mutal thing
Funny thing is demons don't even sleep 💀 like he just does it because he's addicted to the feeling of sleeping after fucking
His favorite thing 😭
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#kny smut#kny x reader#kny headcanons#kny gyutaro#gyuutarou#gyutaro#kny daki#gyutaro and daki#kaigaku#kny kaigaku#minors fuck off
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
I rate Sigma Overwatch’s sprays from 0-10
alright lets go, just going in the order that these files come in this folder
1000/10: Because I get to see him sitting and even though he’s thinking hard about something he’s throwing a bouncy ball to help him focus. Also his hair is particularly white here and I think thats very sexy old man of him.
50/10: Catbox, Catboy, its all the same theory. Sigma likes catboys, not up for debate. We know why.
3/10: Just not fond of it. I know the sprays and their rendering gets super obscured but this one just got absolutely decimated I guess. Just being real with yall.
10/10: Like the shading colors, he’s smirking. Rock vaguely looks like a heart. Love that for him.
6/10: I just don’t like how the hat was drawn. I don’t think it needed to be there or could’ve been shaped better. Other than that decent spray. Wish he was happier looking though.
9/10: I have this spray as a sticker and its just very cute fsr. Its simple and the color is exquisite and nice on the eyes.
100000000000/10: There is something mysteriously and eerily sexy about this spray and it’s one of my favorites.
2/10: Just because he is my husband doesn’t mean I’m not going to be an honest man. I Highly Dislike this spray because I think the art style is unappealing af. It’s just a personal preference, I hate all of the sprays that come in this style.
i didnt realize how long this post was going to be so im doing the rest under the cut to spare everyone else’s life:
9/10: Solid rating with no goofing. While I take up some issues with some of the expressions in his other sprays showing pain, there is something about the composition of this one that I absolutely love. Its very aesthetic for me, speaks to his character, and the colors are beautiful. Wish his eyes were his usual periwinkle though which is why this isn’t receiving a perfect score.
5/10: Not really sure what it is about this one that I’m not so fond of. I can appreciate the colors and his profile. But other than that theres something visually here that I don’t find appealing. Not sure what it is.
8/10: Decent rating, its nothing crazy. Since reference and has nice colors but thats about all my critique for this one.
11/10: Lovely hand, lovely gesture. Wanna squish the bean pads. Nice colors.
6/10: This one is actually one of my favorites despite the rating not being solid. Only because while I love the colors and the concept, the idea of it makes me sad. The idea that it reflects Sieb’s trauma makes me sad, despite it being a rational depiction of such.
50000000/10: love little christmas charm sieb, hope he gets a skin of this outfit some day. Hes so cute. Happy smiles thats all I want. I could kiss him.
3/10: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF I’M NOT ACTUALLY SUPER ABOUT THIS SPRAY. WHY? Because I’m being nitpicky and I want him receptors on the sides to be THE TEAL THAT THEY ARE. Not GREEN.
5/10: I feel like halfway rating with this one is fair. I like to imagine that thats Sieb’s hand writing and that makes me happy. But this spray is hard to look at for long periods of time because this kind of text squish is hurtful on my eyes.
9/10: I actually hate this skin but fsr the spray makes it incredibly sexy. It actually got sexier the second time (this time) that I looked at it. Good for him.
6/10: Reasons for this rating, while I love the pose and intimidation this spray is posing, I also get sad to see Sieb’s strained expressions. I think his powers do have limits and they do effect him depending. And seeing all this big ass heavy equipment on him gives me conflicted feelings. He has a lot to carry, and he’s just lucky he has gravity powers to help. (I mean this metaphorically and literally.)
7/10: I love the art and concept on this one. He’s just so grumpy looking is all. My poor boy.
9/10: He’s 7 ft tall and it shows and I am here for it.
9/10: Remember when I said I was conflicted about seeing all that equiptment on him? Well its true, but I’m just going full thirst on this spray to say look at how fucking massive this man is. I want him to grab me with those hands and pitch me like a baseball.
4/10: The pained expression in this along with the concept of it (as well as connection once again to his trauma) unsettles me and makes me feel the brain hurting juice. Nothing further.
1000000000000000000/10: This is one of my favorite sprays because its just casual work setting and gives me more insight on his lab uniform. His hair here also gets me barking like a rabid chihuahua.
10/10: This gets a solid rating for A) Lab Coat Outfit and B) Seeing him again with the help of an object to stim while he thinks. (The squeeze ball)
10/10: I cant not give halloween Sieb a solid score. I think this is adorable, but I don’t believe it’s Sieb as a kid. I think it’s just a child dressed up like him with no attachment to lore or anything. But its still very cute.
100/10: I love the pixel sprays so much, simple and cute.
6/10: I’m really not too crazy about the pose for the dragon spray. I feel like they could’ve done something a little more dynamic especially given he has gravity powers. But alas.
9/10: This spray is on the same level as the apple head spray from earlier on in the post. Congrats if you’ve made it this far btw. But I love the soft expression on the left being challenged with the frightened/frustrated one on the right.
0/10: I am not fond of this spray because of how much pain he appears to be in along with the implications all the junk flying around him has. Upsets me.
50/10: I don’t care about the fish onions I just care about looking at my husbands huge ass arms and seeing him enjoy a smelly fish treat. Its what he deserves. Also what that mouth do.
10/10: Solid perfect score because I have strong emotions about Van Gogh. And I think the interest between Siebren and Van Gogh, especially as two men who were/are fighting with mental illness speaks volumes about Sieb’s character. This spray makes me feel something in my chest that I can’t whole heartedly explain, but it isn’t a bad thing.
10/10: Another perfect score, because I think this spray is a good mixture of Sieb’s character between the musical elements and his scientific work. He’s also smiling which is rare to find in his sprays.
544386238043723507435742634387236804307403857435748035474803548744307384385740385748037408357438570480bark bark barK BARK /10: sexiest image in the entire game of overwatch nobody @ me i dont take constructive criticism
#this is a half serious half shit post post#siebren de kuiper#sigma overwatch#sigma#ita speaks#i have spoken
167 notes
·
View notes
Note
ok so i read “the dancer” and OH MY GOD that was SO GOOD!!!! i love the character layers you wrote!!! btw that made me think if there would be a situation where benjamin would cheat? like what would be his limit?
hi bestie! let's GET INTO IT
first of all, I wanna define my terms here. cheating, to me, means that Person A is still currently in a relationship with Person B and the two of them have an understanding that Person A is REALLY not supposed to have romantic or sexual relationships with anybody else, but then A knowingly gets together with C. So like, no open relationship stuff, no element of coercion/deception. just straight up, Benjamín knew that it would be against his relationship with Ruth to be with someone else, but he did it anyway. is this feasible?
honestly I feel like yes??? you can get these characters to do almost anything just as you can get anyone irl to do almost anything provided that you have the right circumstances that fit up precisely with the contours of their personality? let's go over what we know about Benjamín
he's a family man & used to also being the patriarch, the leader? even though he's not the oldest (Pancho is), he took that position & he clearly takes it very seriously. in his own mind, his function is to protect, to comfort, & to be there for his family
and honestly he's kind of a homebody & domestic & shit? he loves his wife, he loves his kid very much, he's at his own birthday party wearing literally a plain white t shirt and wanting to go home after one last drink like god bless you just know his ideal location is A Sofa. he’s not hesitant to say I love you and he’s not hesitant to express affection
I guess what I’m trying to say it like for this to happen you’d need an environment where these core qualities remain but the social, familial, and marital situation is basically entirely stripped away? where he’s a family man without a family, a protector without somebody to protect, a comforter without somebody to comfort, like. a man without a future.
not trying to be cruel here but what I’m SAYING is I think he gets kidnapped. I really do. I think he gets kidnapped, but—and this is key—the people who kidnap him? they get fucking killed. by morons, but killed nonetheless. so the people who have him captured now, they don’t want to let him go, but they’re not really sure how to handle the hostage situation and so the whole thing is up in the air. he (Benjamín) is somewhat aware of this, but he feels confident things will turn around.
they do not turn around.
as time goes on, as he’s stuck in the same room with no idea what time of day it is, nothing to do, caged like an animal (worse than an animal—animals get fresh air sometimes, at least, get work to do, at least), hope dies. what I am saying is, his belief in escape dies, and with it, the idea that he will ever see his family again. he knows they are out there looking for him, that they will not stop until they find his body, but at some point, they too must doubt they’ll ever see him alive again. they too must think he’s gone for good.
you’ve seen so far in this world what happens when men have all this hunger and nowhere to put it, all this hatred and nowhere to put it—and let’s be clear, he’s hungrier and most full of hate than he’s ever been, but—have you seen, yet, what happens when a man has all this love and nowhere to put it?
step through that door, and you will.
not so much a step as a stumble, really. they shove you through. you take in the man before you, wary and made warier by the look in his eyes, the lack of reaction there. you’re sizing him up trying to figure whether or not you could take him in a fight, he’s just...he’s barely looking at you. his eyes are open but nobody’s home. his shirt is two sizes too big for him, at least.
the door locks behind you. that explains it.
you avoid him at first, on an instinct, almost a superstitious feeling, that whatever has hollowed him out is something that you could catch, like a disease. you’re not wrong to feel that way. but you are wrong to think you could avoid it. it takes you two weeks to give up on escape—two weeks, broken fingernails, several hours of knocking carefully at the walls, examining the doorframe, outright attacking the man who comes daily to bring your food and take away the bedpan. Benjamín never helps you. He might have, when you attacked the guard, but by time he had crossed the room, the guard already had a gun in your face and you were already telling him to pull the trigger. When Benjamín dragged you away, you felt a frightening urge to lean into it. Two weeks, nobody else but enemies, you’re an animal at the end, here, just an animal, with animal needs, like warmth. Like—
You wait until you think he’s asleep to have your cry. You think he doesn’t hear you. But when he’s awake, later (the next day, probably, but with no dawns, the both of you are terrible at keeping time), he talks to you. He asks you about things so irrelevant that at first you’re almost insulted by it, but then, well, it’s good to talk. After so long. And you ask him questions too, and his name is Benjamín, he has a wife and a daughter both named Ruth, he doesn’t have a sweet tooth but he loves cake for the nostalgia value, his father died when he was young, he’s been forty years old in the head since he was thirteen, he doesn’t much like dancing, he’s been here so long that he thinks he must be dead.
there’s an old metal lunchbox that his father gave him that he saved for his daughter’s first day of school. she is very young and very sick and he is going to miss her first day of school. her first soccer match. her first time driving a car, her first heartbreak, he’s going to miss her graduation, he’s going to miss her wedding, he’s going to miss the way she used to press her heated teary face to his neck when she’d just had a tantrum and wanted comforting, he’s going to miss. fucking everything. he had so many plans.
he tells you this. not all at once. some of it not even directly. but it’s what he’s thinking about, all the time, and what are you? not made of stone. and it feels good, having somebody. somebody to take care of. when you both caught cold, you quarreled about who was sicker and should therefore have the bigger portion of food. he wanted to give you more, and vice versa. ended up at a standstill, of course, but that argument was more or less just: I want to take care of you. I want to take care of you, the only way I can.
his back hurts, sleeping on the floor, and you try to work out the knots with your fingers. your bodies are deteriorating, trapped as you are, so you try to make some kind of work for yourselves, stupid things, mostly exercises he teaches you that his younger brother used to do “for the vanity” as he says, laughing. Ramón, you know it must be, right away. you’re getting to know his family very well, secondhand. he’s getting to know yours. five push-ups in a row. you start playing chess, albeit very badly, because you don’t have a board and you’re just imagining the players and frequently arguing about which ones are where. ten push-ups in a row. there are days he doesn’t want to get up, just wants to sleep forever, and you haul him physically up and almost get into a fight over it, but when he shouts you flinch and that’s the end, he ends it, he stops, he stops himself. fifteen push-ups in a row. you teach him how to braid your hair. for a thick-fingered man he can be precise when he wants to be. you’re going mad, but sometimes it feels almost pleasant. you have learned long ago to fall asleep to the sound of him breathing. twenty push-ups in a row.
they take you away.
the door opens suddenly and they drag you out while you’re still too surprised to fight back, and the door locks behind them and you are in a narrow hallway. behind the door you hear a thump, and a shout. when you’re at the very end of the hall, ascending the stairs, a faint scream.
upstairs, holy shit, a fucking house. you were blindfolded when they brought you through earlier. it’s decent, if bland. no real personality to it, just people passing through, you guess—there’s sleeping bags on the floor, it’s—a guard catches you looking around and cuffs you around the ear. but there’s sunlight coming in the window and when was the last time you saw that? are you supposed to feel some kind of fear when you’re able to see sunlight? they give you a newspaper to hold up, display the date for a photo. you read the date on it, read half a paragraph about the fucking stock market too, hungry, when was the last time you read anything? when they try to take the newspaper back, you hold on with both fists and glare. that’s not a cuff around the ear, that’s a hand on your head, slamming you against the wall. don’t you remember you’re a captive. you refuse to remember it until the third time, head ringing, nose bleeding. okay. so you are a captive. so they took the newspaper and they took away the light too, so they’re marching you back downstairs and the narrow hallway makes you feel fucking nauseous. but you know what day it is. you know what day it is. that is not nothing.
they shove you through the door again and Benjamín is right there where you left him, lunges for you. you can hear the door locking as you tell him what day it is, over and over. it’s something that can anchor everything else, right? his daughter is six years old now. you, you’re thirty-nine. you’re also bleeding onto his shirt, not that it matters. he’s holding you so tight it almost hurts, but that’s how you want it. I’ll come back for you, you say. When they ransom me. You’ll make it to her seventh birthday party.
I’m dead already, he says. It’s all right.
No, I’ll come back. You’ll see.
Okay, he says, but he’s just placating you.
that night, or that time that you both turn tired, he wraps his bloodstained shirt around one of the lightbulbs, breaks it, then breaks the other one. why he needs the darkness for this, you don’t know and you don’t ask. his hand slips under your shirt, runs up your back, slow, palm to spine. warm. in the dark you do find that it’s easier to tell him who he is and what he is and what you want from him. that you want him.
afterwards, he wants to curl himself around you, nose into your neck, and so you let him. he’s got one arm across you, fingers curled over your shoulder, like a seat belt. secure. you could almost believe that.
I’ll come back for you, you say again, like it might be different this time. in the dark, he doesn’t try to answer that. presses a kiss to your neck, falls asleep.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
anon i hope this is what you wanted cause fucking hell i did not expect this to happen and i don’t really know what just happened i think i just went into a trance and wrote some sad shit sorry it happens! it happens!
#*facepalm* this was supposed to be a chill answer and it turned into a fucking fic. because of course it did#Benjamín Arellano Félix#Benjamín Arellano Félix x REader#mine
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol
oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened
a few things:
1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well
2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?
3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.
4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.
anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across
A. Performances
Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.
However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.
Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.
B. The "Lore"
Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.
Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.
C. The Egg / Eggpire
This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.
D. The Writing
Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.
Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.
But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]
And speaking of characters-
E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them
In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.
But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.
c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.
Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.
c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.
Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.
I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.
F. L'Manberg
This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?
G. The Villains
Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.
Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.
Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.
Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.
c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.
Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.
And then there's the worst one:
H. Dream.
I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.
And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.
Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)
And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.
but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol
but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.
#wow this is long#txt#anti dsmp#anti dream#dsmp crit#dsmp critical#yeah im tagging it i dont give a shit#dream crit#dream critical#the story is shit yo!
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Captain America: Civil War - My Thoughts
I know this is like 5 years late but for this, I’d like to resurrect a barely dead discourse that succeeded in not just dividing the Avengers but also dividing the fandom. Before we start, content warning for spoilers and let’s dive into this mess.
So, basically, the entire conflict of civil war stemmed from General Thaddeus Ross (who is a hypocritical dick, btw) coming to lecture the Avengers on being destructive despite conducting destructive experiments (ahem, the Abomination and the Hulk) but I digress. Then, Ross presents the Sokovian Accords which is really lengthy and we see Steve reading like a few chapters(?). Now, let us note that the Accords were presented to the Avengers after a mission-gone-wrong killed about 11 people in Lagos (lay-gos, not lah-gos that pronunciation gave me headaches as a Nigerian).
So, the Sokovian Accords were written by 117 countries and vetted by the UN asking for the Avengers to be under oversight (which SHIELD would have done if HYDRA hadn’t infiltrated it in the first place but it is what it is). Somehow, Steve made it about “our right to choose” (how?! Cause I’m not understanding) and decided to not sign*.
*he later got back to sign, then backed out when he learnt that Tony had placed Wanda under house arrest (even though it was for her protection. I do believe Tony should have fully informed Wanda about keeping her in the Avengers’ Tower)
My issues with the plot of Civil War are:
1. The Sokovian Accords were not read out loud or placed on some kind of PowerPoint slide for the audience to understand why Team Cap is against the Accords. No, the fandom wiki is not a source because that one is from Agents of SHIELD and not a lot of MCU fans are familiar with that show (yours sincerely included). Assuming the contents were read out loud or discussed by the Avengers, I’d have understood why Team Cap refused to sign the accords but since none of that was given, I’d remain Team Iron Man for this one.
2. The Sokovian Accords is not the American Constitution. Then again, the MCU fandom tends to be American-centric and most Americans seem to have this belief that the world revolves around them (and it manifests itself in Civil War discourse).
3. Contrary to popular opinion, the Sokovian Accords were about 117 (mostly third-world) countries asserting their sovereignty and boundaries, not taking away rights from the Avengers. If we go by what the MCU wiki claims about the accords, yes, some parts are absurd (like asking for blood samples and using trackers, why are those necessary?). However, when 117 countries state that they want you to respect their boundaries, I think it is best to comply. Unfortunately, respecting boundaries is one thing the USA has a problem complying with and guess who happens to represent America?
4. The Accords affected only their hero lives, not their lives as a civilian. I doubt the UN would limit the Avengers’ movements as civilians
5. Let us not forget how Steve and Clint protect Wanda from accountability and responsibility. Wanda in the MCU is like y/n in many fanfics where everyone (except for the “big bad villain” who in this case is Tony and 117 countries) seems to love her and want to protect her from facing the consequences of her actions. Anyone *ahem Tony* who has a bit of problem with her is suddenly the enemy. Not to mention how Wanda seems to have a knack for causing destruction in African countries (Johannesburg, Lagos, Wakanda)
6. And fandom behaviour from the Team Cap stans
7. Also, why is Civil War not an Avengers part 3? It’s better than making it a Captain America trilogy and then trying to frame Steve as being right.
8. I do believe that the accords were sped up which left little time for the Avengers to discuss and compromise on certain issues. If they were given more time to discuss, compromise and negotiate, I think the movie would have ended better than it had.
9. In addition, I also agree with Team Cap stans on how the UN arbitrarily deciding to shoot Bucky on sight is a human right violation.
10. “The safest hands are our own” why does this sound like a white saviour talk point from Steve? The accords is about 117 countries wanting you to respect their boundaries and the best you can come up with to refute that is saying something a white saviour would say?
11. “Even if the whole world is telling you to move...” just shut the fuck up, this is no way comparable to 117 countries trying to assert their sovereignty.
12. Look if I have to choose between surrendering a few rights as a hero and just dismissing that of civilians as potential damage, I’d go with the former because the people whom I’m suppose to protect come first. For me to dismiss their deaths as “we can’t save em all” is just not it.
13. “She’s just a kid”, a few years later and I still hate that term. One, it’s infantilizing an adult white woman (something white men have historically done and we all know how that went) . Two, while Tony was obviously wrong for not informing Wanda about her house arrest, he was right to keep her in the Tower when they were people who would harm her with every chance they could find. **
** after watching WandaVision, some people might find every reason to want to harm her.
14. Let us also discuss the motivation of those in Team Iron Man vs Team Cap
Team Iron Man
Tony: feels guilty for the events of Age of Ultron, believes that he’s stepped out of line and the Avengers need oversight.
Natasha: believes that the Avengers should listen to the public and the UN after all, if they had one hand on the wheel, they can still steer.
Vision: believes that the Avengers as a whole bring challenge which brings conflict and then catastrophe.
Rhodey: a soldier; believes in following orders especially when it is from the UN and 117 countries.
T’Challa: dude is just there to kill Bucky. I’m sure if Bucky was on team Ironman, my guy would have joined team cap, lmao 😂.
Spider-Man: not really there for a reason except to bring in Steve to Ross. I do agree that Tony shouldn’t have dragged him to the fight without Peter making an informed decision.
Team Cap
Steve: didn’t want to sign because it takes away his “right to choose”. Idk what that means or how it is relevant to the Sokovian Accords but okay. However, I understand his mistrust considering a few movies ago, we found out HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD and as much as I believe governments are corrupt and the UN is shit, you cannot just enter a country anyhow without warning ahead of time.
Bucky: was his motivation given? I mean, I believe he joined Steve’s side to stop Zeno from unleashing the other winter soldiers. Not that that’s a bad reason, it isn’t.
Sam: again, I don’t think the movie gave us a reason for him being against the Accords. Did he also believe it was taking away his “right to choose”?
Wanda: undecided as of moment of discussion. Joined team cap because Tony placed her on house arrest. While I agree that Tony should have informed her that he was putting her under house arrest and stated the reasons why, I believe it was for good reasons especially when some people might decide to carry out witch hunts (you get it, witch hunts? 😅)
Clint: only joined because Wanda was placed under house arrest. We aren’t given any reason why he would oppose the Accords.
Scott: fan boy of Captain America, need I say more?
15. Also, to Team Cap stans blaming Tony Stark for Team Cap being imprisoned, grow the fuck up. The people in Team Cap are all adults who made their own decisions yet Tony is to blame for them breaking the law (because they did break the law), wtf.
16. “Are you capable of letting go of your ego for one damn second?” Like Steve’s ego didn’t play a part in all this too, lmao.
17. Okay, the final battle was intense and while I believe Bucky was also a victim, I can understand why Tony lashed out at him. The one to blame here is Steve because even if he had no clue Bucky was responsible for the Starks’ death, he still lied to Tony by not telling him who was responsible. It is more appalling to learn that Steve, in an attempt to “protect Tony and Bucky”, was actually covering for HYDRA!
Also, the way Steve stood emotionless while Tony watched a footage of his parents being killed. Yet, he could shield Wanda from watching the news because of how it affected her, okay.
“I can do this all day”, fuck you, Steve
18. Clint exploding at Tony is so fucking hilarious. Tony is right, Clint has a family yet he decided to fight in a war that didn’t concern him. Also, his comments about breaking backs is so tone deaf after Rhodey just broke his back!
19. If Sam was Captain America, I think Civil War wouldn’t have happened at all, from the dialogue in the Raft.
20. Overall, this movie is a fucking mess and I hate it for dividing both the Avengers and MCU fans.
Before I close with this, I want to add that I am not anti-Steve but Civil War really made me hate him. I get, Steve is supposed to be a Boy Scout and shit like that, but he’s a Gary Stu in the MCU, let’s be honest about it. Civil War should have been an Avengers movie, rather than a part of the Captain America trilogy. The Avengers should have been given more time than three days to discuss the Accords and make necessary amendments; after all that went down in Lagos, Wanda should have been made to sit out missions and maybe we could have had someone like Doctor Strange help in training her; Crossbones would have made a great villain but it is what it is; Peter’s introduction to the MCU could have been as him actually interning for the Stark Industries and forming a kind of acquaintance with Tony Stark before Tony finds out that he’s Spider-Man; Steve should have told Tony about HYDRA‘s hands in his parents’ deaths. Anyway, I’ll go read Civil War fix-it fanfics and fanfics where the Avengers are more like family. Fuck Civil War and I’m outta here.
Edit: okay this was a thought I had when I was trying to sleep but it was too good to ignore. Rhodey has a point about Steve arrogance (if that’s the correct term) in saying “the safest hands are our own” and here’s why:
Like he stated “this is not the World Security Council...neither is this SHIELD nor HYDRA” (paraphrased). This is the UN as well as 117 countries. Look, I am as anti-government as one can go and I don’t believe that the UN are reliable (plus, if we really want to go by the AoS version of the Accords, the Accords are flawed and they need amendments), however, given the US records on disrespecting boundaries in many third world countries, I can understand why 117 countries are wary about a bunch of superpowered Americans entering their country.
To us, the Avengers are saving the world. To these 117 countries and the people who have families who were killed in the crossfire (Zemo is a good example), the Avengers are a bunch of nuisances who leave destruction wherever they tread.
I am still neutral on the whole Accords as I don’t know exactly what it entails but for Steve to go “we are surrendering our rights to choose” (again, how is the Accords threatening the Avengers’ right to choose?) when asked to be under oversight is tone deaf.
#marvel cinematic universe#captain america civil war#team cap critical#mcu critical#not anti steve rogers btw#wanted to clarify#steve rogers critical
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i’m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)
it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do
i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through
i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3
other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3
number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.
and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.
she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.
number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!
um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.
beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.
i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE
number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)
but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.
ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃
also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!
( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )
honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long
#i literally do apologize for how long this got but you have to understand i was holding myself back .#she is…. everything. to me. i could keep going for so long#amy pond#ask#jonismitchell
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
I have a genuin question but do you think that Sansa will become Queen in the North? I'm not sure anymore what her endgame will be in the books (the show doesn't count for me)
This is kind of a… sensitive topic, because there are certain people who will call you “anti-Sansa” if you answer anything less than “absolutely” to this question. The only reason this is a touchy conversation in the first place is because of the show.
So… I have not seen the final three episodes of the show. I only found out about the endings through other sources. The show doesn’t count for me either. None of the show endings for the characters made sense.
I dislike all of the show characters, and that includes Show!Sansa. I don’t like the storyline (something I share with GRRM), I don’t like the personality, I don’t like the costuming, I don’t like the way the actress was directed, I don’t like the ending. I hate how people say that “Sansa got the only good ending”. ?????? That ending is a horrible ending for Sansa. Alone in Winterfell, completely separate from her family? How the fuck is that a good ending? No. “Sansa becoming Queen in the North no matter what” is not the only “good ending” for her. I talked about this here.
And this isn’t to say I think it’s impossible for Sansa to end the story as QitN, I just think it’s improbable. Based on the current text, this is my ranking for who’s most likely to be ruling Winterfell/House Stark at the end of the story:
1. Bran (Will most likely be king, but we don’t know what exactly that means. What state will Westeros be in after the Long Night? I talk about that here.)
If (and that’s a big if) there is a separate leader of House Stark who isn’t Bran:
2. Arya (Already has an extensive amount of “leader of wolves”/”leader of the pack” symbolism. Her direwolf is named for Nymeria, a famous queen. Arya, through her wolf Nymeria, is a “queen of wolves”.)
3. Rickon (Bran’s heir, next male in line.)
4. Sansa (Eldest trueborn child. Has a line that people believe is foreshadowing for her show ending happening in the books.)
5. Jon (Named by Robb as his heir, although the will was written under the belief that Bran, Rickon, and Arya were dead. But just don’t think it would fit his story.)
(Also, we could definitely see a Pevensie siblings style ending, where they are all the Lords and Ladies/Princes and Princesses. Wish more people would talk about that. Could definitely see GRRM being inspired by that.)
So, the line that people refer to the most for “Sansa will be queen” theories is this:
"The only way to keep your people loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy."
"I will remember, Your Grace," said Sansa, though she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people's loyalty than fear. If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me. (Sansa VI, ACOK)
It bothers me because people tend to ignore the real importance of that line, and what it’s actually saying about Sansa as a character, as a person. The purpose of that line is not to “foreshadow that Sansa will definitely be queen”. The line ties into how Sansa believes “everyone wants to be loved”, and is hopeful in love, despite everything she’s gone through. It shows that Sansa believes more in the power of love than in the power of fear. She is not letting herself be influenced by what Cersei is trying to teach her. She doesn’t want to be like Cersei.
Which is not something that show!Sansa does. It’s been a long time since I saw the show, but a moment that sticks out in my head is where show!Sansa tells show!Jon that wildlings “have to fight for them because they owe Jon their lives”.
……..
Jon’s plot in ADWD involves him becoming the leader of the wildlings over time, as he earns their trust and support. He becomes their leader at the end of Jon XIII because they follow the man, and he has proved himself worthy. Not because they “owe” him something. Show!Sansa uses fear rather than love to secure loyalty. “You owe me your loyalty” rather than “I’ll earn your loyalty.”
Show!Sansa is a completely different character than Sansa Stark from A Song of Ice and Fire. Show!Sansa became the QitN, and that means absolutely nothing for the real Sansa.
Basically, I, as a book fan, feel no obligation to say that Sansa will be Queen in the North just because I want to stay on good graces with toxic show stans.
And no, I do not predict that Sansa will end the series as the Queen in the North. That doesn’t mean I’m against it, it just means I don’t see it happening. And if the show had never happened, this question would not be nearly as controversial as it is. Like, I feel the same way about saying “Sansa won’t be queen” as I do about saying “Rickon won’t die” or “Jon won’t be exiled beyond the wall” or “Cersei won’t be killed by a brick”.
TL;DR: I never thought about Sansa being queen until season 8 happened and everyone made it a debate. I don’t think she’ll be queen, the books don’t give me that implication.
(Also… Sansa would still be royalty, btw, she’d still be a princess. I don’t know why people treat it like she’d be a nobody if she isn’t queen at the end. She’s still a goddamn princess. She’d still be wearing a crown.)
#i hate how there’s this ‘it’s queen or nothing’ thing around sansa. just because of the show and the stans#also... considering how d&d openly said that they didn’t care about book!sansa’s storyline#i don’t understand why people would think they’d adhere to only her ending#like it was clear they only did the whole ‘girlboss sansa’ thing to try and coverup the extreme misogyny of their writing#ask#dearxstorm#pro book sansa
44 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thank you responding to the AFO Vestige question. Assuming everything you said is true then the question that comes to my mind is why did AFO and the Dr waste so much time preparing Tomura and making sure he was worthy. They would had succeeded more completely if they just did the operation as quickly as possible. Also do you think that Tomura rejected AFO because he thought it was an illusion that he did not want to submit to, or because he rejects AFO in his enirtey? Have a good day.
I’m actually going to turn this question around and take it one step further. if AFO’s plan was to transfer his quirk all along, why didn’t he do it fifteen years ago? specifically, why did he choose the child Shimura Tenko as his vessel, rather than the already-grown Shimura Kotarou?
you see, this isn’t confirmed yet, but I suspect that the primary reason AFO decided to transfer his soul into a new body is because that’s essentially what his brother has been doing for the past nine generations, and AFO has hypothesized that that’s why his brother’s quirk has gotten stronger and stronger, to the point of him actually being able to put up a fight against him now. and so he applies the same logic to his own quirk, and figures that if it worked for his brother, it should work for him as well. we know that AFO believes his transfer into Tomura will enable him to finally steal OFA, but we don’t really know why he’s so confident of that. it wouldn’t surprise me if this is the reason why.
anyway, so if that’s the case, it would mean he’s had this plan for some time now, likely even before he was injured by All Might. this whole plan is basically based off of Quirk Singularity theory, and Ujiko confessed to Mic that he’s the one who originally came up with that concept -- right before he met AFO.
so it’s not too much of a stretch to assume that when AFO met Ujiko and heard his theories, that’s when he finally put two and two together that his brother’s quirk was becoming progressively stronger with each subsequent generation, while his own quirk -- powerful, but stuck at the comparatively weaker first-generation level -- was stagnating. it then stands to reason that this is when he first started putting the plan together to transfer his quirk into another body. not seven years ago, when All Might injured him, but decades before that. decades before All Might was even born.
after all, this is when he first started experimenting with the Noumu as well, researching how to prep another human’s body to be able to withstand multiple quirks. because it wouldn’t be enough to simply transfer his powers and be done with it; if Ujiko’s theories on the Singularity were correct, the transferred quirk would be exponentially more powerful, and so the new vessel would need to be able to withstand that. everything we know about the Noumu makes so much sense in hindsight if we look at it in the context of AFO researching how to create the perfect new vessel for his transferred, and upgraded, quirk.
but here’s the thing: if it is true that AFO started putting this plan into works years before he sustained his debilitating injury at All Might’s hands (and that does seem to be the case; Ujiko even said that AFO “foresaw his downfall”, which I interpret to mean that he knew he would eventually be outclassed by OFA if Quirk Singularity kept doing its thing), it’s all the more reason for me to believe that he fully intends to possess his “successor’s” body, rather than just going along for the ride. a healthy AFO would have absolutely no incentive to transfer his powers unless he was sure he would survive the process. that’s basically just suicide otherwise, and at the time he would have had no reason to desire that.
anyway. so if that’s true, it would also mean that when AFO tracked down Shimura Kotarou fifteen years ago, he likely already possessed the technology to transfer his quirk into Kotarou’s body if he wanted. this would have been only a year or so before Shirakumo’s death, and Kurogiri is an extremely advanced Noumu, indicating that their research had already progressed pretty far by this point. Kotarou is arguably just as good of a potential vessel as his son, and has the same devastating blood ties to Nana that AFO wants to use to torment All Might. he’s also fully grown, and AFO wouldn’t have to wait another 10-15 years in order for him to be old enough to possess. so why not??
and I think the answer to this question is the same as the answer to the other question of “why did he wait so long to transfer his quirk to Tomura”: because they weren’t ready yet. because AFO needed a perfect vessel, and the technology wasn’t read yet. they hadn’t reached a point where they knew the transfer would be safe. they hadn’t reached the point where they could reliably ensure that the new body would be able to withstand the quirk (hell, we’re seeing some problems with that now). they hadn’t yet gathered all the quirks they wanted, such as the regeneration quirk. they needed more time. and so AFO chose to kill Kotarou -- or rather, have Tenko kill him -- and take Tenko under his wing instead.
again, Tenko was “adopted” by AFO more than fifteen years ago -- before AFO was injured by All Might. and yet he went ahead with his plans to raise Tenko as his perfect little All Might-hating heir anyway. this means that whatever AFO’s ultimate plan is with Tenko, it’s something that was concocted before he was injured. or in other words, before he would have had any incentive to willingly sacrifice himself in favor of ~selflessly~ turning the reins over to his heir. he was putting in the time to raise Tomura up as his successor before he had any reason to. if all he wanted was a new body, he could have just locked the kid up for a decade or so until the transfer process was finally ready to go. so it must be more than that.
so I have a few stray thoughts/theories on this. first things first, AFO just really likes to fuck with people. remember that he in essence created OFA to begin with because it wasn’t enough for him to simply defeat his bro; he wanted to subjugate him. he wanted that decisive victory over him, mental as well as physical. for him, the psychological aspect of the victory is just as important. and so I think that part of him putting Tenko through all of this torment and raising him up into the perfect homicidal pawn was purely just to torture All Might and Nana and all the rest of the OFA users, because AFO is just kind of fucked up like that you guys.
second, is that as we’ve seen with OFA, even when one of the souls does have predominant control, it doesn’t mean the other souls just disappear completely. they’re still there in the background, and they’re still capable of influencing the user’s body, and possibly even wresting control. hell, we’re seeing this happen right now. if AFO can possess Tomura’s body, it’s reasonable to assume that if the situation were reversed and AFO had control, Tomura could still try to fight back as well. and so presumably, it would be much more desirable if Tomura was inclined to be cooperative with AFO, much as the OFA vestiges all get along with Deku. if you’re gonna invite a roommate to come share space in your brain -- possibly for the rest of all eternity -- better get one you’re sure you can live with, right?
and there are a bunch of other reasons I can think of; I’m just gonna list the rest of them real quick so we can wrap this up:
Ujiko says in chapter 222 that Tomura is “weak” and needs to prove himself. it could be that this was his way of setting up Tomura to “train” with Machia for a few months so as to gain the physical and mental fortitude to be able to withstand the four-month Noumufication process.
it could also be that he wanted Tomura to amass a loyal following in much the same way that AFO had before him, as a lot of AFO’s power came from the number of people who were loyal to him and/or feared him.
lastly, it could just be AFO playing the long game once again, seeing as his ultimate goal is to steal OFA back from its current bearer. OFA, which contains his brother’s soul along with all of the other bearers’ souls. (why he thinks this would be a good idea is beyond me btw, but that’s another topic for another post lmao.) and at that point Tomura’s soul will be reunited with Nana’s. except he can’t even allow them that little bit of peace, because he’s such a spiteful, miserable fuck. so he’s made it so that if they are reunited, either Tomura will hate Nana, or else alternatively he’ll be so torn over all of the evil shit he’s done that he still won’t be able to reconcile with her even if he wants to. but the point is, either way, AFO wins! because everyone is miserable except for him. :’)
anyway, so this is all conjecture; it’s possible there’s some other reason I haven’t thought of, and it’s also possible that I’m wrong about all of this, of course. my read of AFO’s character is that he’s too selfish to ever step back and let someone else have all the glory while all he can do is watch. everything about AFO -- his quirk, his name even -- is defined by selfishness, in stark contrast to OFA and its users’ selflessness. and so I’ve always believed that AFO would be the final villain somehow, so as a result my theories are all colored by this belief. but it’s possible I’ve misread the character or Horikoshi’s intentions, and that Tomura is in fact the final villain, in which case it remains to be seen exactly what is going on with AFO and all his psychic bullshit then lol.
but if not, then this is my best guess. and as for why Tomura rejected AFO, he said it himself; he believes he’s outgrown AFO and now wants to surpass him. AFO and Ujiko’s plans to make him self-actualized worked a little too well, maybe. or maybe not, and this is still playing into AFO’s hands in some other way I haven’t figured out yet. I honestly don’t know for sure. but I am fairly certain that by the time this arc ends, we’ll have a much better idea.
#all for one#one for all#shigaraki tomura#ujiko daruma#shimura tenko#shimura kotarou#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha meta#bnha theory#all for one for all#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#asks#anon asks#long post
84 notes
·
View notes
Note
Please, anymore thoughts on Kokichi?? I'd love to hear you infodump :) love your content btw
aaa omg :0 it’s a little embarrassing infodumping publicly aaaa but i’ll do it, here’s some thoughts abt him.
for starters! i think kokichi is locked into position of antagonist very early on and doesn’t really have a chance to fight it. this is partly his fault of course, i believe the reason he’s so rude and hostile is so he keep his distance from people as he doesn’t trust any of them. he reiterates many times that this is a game of suspicion and he will not let himself fall victim to someone by trusting them. he doesn’t want to appear vulnerable either so he doesn’t allow anyone even a glimpse of his true feelings most of the time, he lies so much so even when he does express true feelings, you’ll never know if he’s being serious or not.
but this also means that no matter what he does during the game, even if it’s an action that has good intentions or is for the better of the group, it will be met with hostility because everyone assumes from a very early point that he does not have their best interests in mind. this means he would literally be unable to redeem himself in their eyes because they’ve already decided that he’s a bad person no matter what. even if he started acting nice and doing everything right, people would continue to think hes scheming and is up to no good.
for example, kokichi reveals to everyone that maki is the ultimate assassin, but the others kind of treat him like an asshole for it. kokichi was doing the right thing here! everyone deserved to know that there was a professional killer among them, someone who was guarding an entire room full of weapons!! but he’s vilified for doing this. also, something big that always makes me upset, is the fact that people routinely disregard kokichi’s safety and well-being. someone he just outed as a murderer is standing there strangling him and nobody does anything to help him. then of course there’s the scene where he’s busted his head and is covered in blood and very obviously woozy and not okay, but everyone is just annoyed with him and nobody helps him. he doesn’t deserve that. everyone hates him so much.
and it comes to a point where kokichi weaponizes everyone’s hatred and mistrust of him against the mastermind, by trying to convince everyone that he Is the mastermind in his plans to hopefully end the killing game. and everyone eagerly believes it because they’ve already all got huge hate boners for him, it seems obvious to them. everyone is willing to believe he orchestrated the whole situation they’re trapped in and that he’s a remnant if despair, despite the fact that there’s actually very little evidence for it. everyone except shuichi, who later goes out of his way to prove his suspicions that kokichi isn’t the mastermind nor a remnant of despair to clear his name. which brings me to! why kokichi hates kaito and why he feels that he can trust shuichi.
kokichi is a very logic over feelings type of guy, and feels that blindly trusting people just because you think they’re your friend is a very dangerous mindset to have, in this situation at least. this is why he butts heads with kaito a lot. kaito is someone who even got mad at shuichi for accusing gonta in his trial, even though gonta Was the culprit and everyone else would be executed if they voted incorrectly, all because kaito’s belief in trusting others was so strong. kaito is very feelings over logic. kaito has a very firm stance on what he believes is right and wrong and he’s Stubborn as fuck about it. that’s part of the reason i don’t really care for kaito, he can get very preachy at times and let’s his feelings get in the way of finding the truth. he seems to feel morally superior to people in a game where morals are simply not black and white in the way he thinks they should be.
which brings me to why kokichi feels he can trust shuichi and only shuichi!
kaede was shuichi’s closest friend in the game and he did not let his feelings get in the way of naming her as the culprit. if he had blindly believed in her and refused to name her as the culprit despite all the evidence pointing towards her, everyone would have died. it completely tore shuichi up inside to send kaede to her death, it absolutely devastated him, but he did it for the sake of the group. it’s this moment where i think kokichi started taking an interest in shuichi. this is someone who understands the game and understands what has to be done to protect everyone. you can’t get everyone there killed just to protect one person, no matter how close with them you are. i think it’s from here that kokichi slowly started gaining a crush on him as well. i headcanon that kokichi didn’t have much interest in him before he actually saw him in action during the trial, when he entered “detective mode” and got all serious.
i don’t think this is a complete lie! i don’t think he’s saying he’s in love with him or anything, but i do think it’s true he likes shuichi most out of everyone there. he thinks shuichi is the most interesting and trustworthy and probably does think about him a lot. he does a lot of thinking, the gears in his head are always turning, i get the feeling he doesn’t get a lot of sleep with how much he’s always thinking. it honestly makes me pretty sad thinking about him staying up all night thinking about his situation and trying to plan how he’s going to end the game, all while being super isolated from everyone else and not having any true friends.
which takes me to another point!
kokichi ouma is a super tragic character. i don’t care what anyone says, i don’t believe having this interpretation of him is “woobifying” him or anything similar. this right here? he’s telling the truth. nobody would care if he died, and nobody Did care when he died. everyone was sad about kaito, there was hardly any talk about kokichi. kokichi died a sad, lonely, unceremonious death. nobody cared when he had blood oozing from his head, nobody cared when maki was strangling him, nobody cares about him.
he was right. kokichi was always alone, through the whole game. he died alone. and i do think that this coming from shuichi probably hurt. shuichi was the only person there who he thought he could maybe trust. and kokichi did get what he wanted, he needed Everyone to hate him so they’d all believe he was the mastermind if he wanted his plan to work, including shuichi. but i don’t think he was prepared to hear shuichi say this specifically, i think it really hit close to home which is why it shut him up the way it did. and remember, kokichi Did try to ask shuichi to be in on the plan!! during chapter 4, as they were exiting miu’s vr world, he did attempt to ask shuichi to be his accomplice in a very roundabout way, but shuichi ignored him and exited the program. there could have been a world where kokichi and shuichi worked in tandem to try to end the killing game.
which brings me to why i ship saiou. i love saiou a lot. it’s my comfort ship and it makes me very happy. part of it is that kokichi is my comfort character and i project very heavily onto him. as ive mentioned above, i think kokichi trusted shuichi, was interested in him and he was kokichi’s favorite. i think he had feelings for shuichi and it’s very comforting to imagine shuichi returning his feelings and kokichi getting to be happy. i love aus where kokichi has friends and people actually try to know him and see through his lies, don’t accept them for face value. that’s also why i think kokichi liked shuichi, everyone else took him at face value and didn’t try to look below the surface at all. shuichi was interested in kokichi, interested to know what made him tick and why he did the things he did. he cared enough to want to find out. towards the end of the game shuichi did get very tired and couldnt find any logic in his actions anymore, and ultimately did give up, but once kokichi was gone his conviction to know kokichi’s true intentions came back again.
I think overall kokichi actually was lonely and wanted someone to care about him. i know the ftes aren’t technically canon but they Are canon compliant and are in character. kokichi’s feelings for shuichi are obvious. kokichi wants to spend time with shuichi and do silly things with him like playing yugioh and having tea parties. kokichi played Rock Paper Scissors against shuichi One Hundred times and shuichi kept playing. and at the end when kokichi got all giddy when shuichi was bandaging his cut, i think he was so excited because someone cared about him. someone cared about him enough to bandage his cut and just that little thing is enough to make him bashful and happy because he isn’t used to being cared for. that’s why i ship saiou, i just want kokichi to be happy and shuichi can make him happy. out of everyone shuichi tried the hardest.
anyway i think that’s all i got! please nobody @ my about my interpretations lol
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP wednesday thoughts:
willow cabin is utterly fucked because i changed my intended ~moral~ halfway through and now im stuck trying to integrate this shitty political intrigue plot into what should’ve been a more interesting story about éowyn adapting to life in gondor. hugely fucking annoyed by it and just totally unsure how to proceed. i could significantly increase the chapter count, but im worried that because the initial framing device was this bandits shit that closing out that plot and then still going for ages afterwards would be really shitty? i honestly don’t know, it’s so difficult. really i just need someone to read my outline and tell me if im being a dumb twat about it lol
meanwhile I know exactly where I want to go with AFTA but for some unaccountable reason im stressed that my ass is gonna get roasted for the direction i want to take it in. it’s all based in both tolkien’s personal politics and (some) historical precedent, but im worried people are gonna see it as a marysue-ification? but also im hoping to do sthg of a sequel to afta to practice the political intrigue writing so i don’t make the same mistakes i did in wc, and to do that it would require this specific set up in AFTA. im gonna put my AFTA thing under the cut so don’t click read more unless you’re gucci with potential AFTA spoilers!!
this royal affair au is definitely gonna get published at some point but im trying to decide if i want to do ~tasteful~ smut that drives a longer narrative or if im really just gonna do a whole 3,000 word build up to some run of the mill, old fashioned PWP lmao
okay so i have spent a Lot of time thinking about what impact i think éowyn and faramir would have on each other in a pre-ring war setting, and the honest to god conclusion ive come to is that they would somewhat inadvertently egg on each other’s (wildly divergent) idealism.
faramir’s an idealist politically in ways that, as Big D rightly points out, are not super productive in a wartime scenario. but so far as im concerned, the war doesn’t feel as warlike until they have to blow the bridge at osgiliath. until that point, there’s not really anything to say that faramir’s whole throwback optimism isn’t a perfectly justifiable position to have.
but what that idealism is and how it manifests are two really important considerations. the crux of his idealistic politics is that he looks at númenor and sees something valuable in it, and looks at gondor and sees a lot that he thinks is fucked up. outside of articulating a general angst towards the glory hunting, it’s not like he’s spending time talking about his specific policy prescriptions. however, we do know a few things that can guide us to a more coherent reconstruction of his politics:
he’s pretty rigidly hierarchical (when it’s convenient for him). as seen in: him basically telling sam to fuck off and stay in his lane in WOTW, and in how and when he chooses to refer to his father as ‘father’ vs ‘my lord’ or ‘lord of the city’ in the aftermath of the osgiliath retreat and then before he gets his ass sent back there. i don’t want to go into too much detail here but if i go with this i’ll definitely justify it more thoroughly in the footnotes.
so we’ve got faramir’s emphasis on hierarchy and his occasional (when convenient) belief that the upper echelons of a hierarchy are there because they’re intellectually and/or morally better. or, maybe to remove the causation from that instance, because they are in those upper echelons, they have an obligation to be more morally/intellectually upstanding, and the people in the structure below them have an obligation to show deference. unless you’re faramir and you’re dealing with denethor in which case that all goes out the window. classic.
we know there is some sort of nascent pseudo-democratic tradition of popular sovereignty in gondor. we know this because faramir asks the masses at aragorn’s coronation if they’ll accept him as king. faramir is a lot of things, but he is certainly not a progressive political radical, and i cannot imagine any situation in which he cooked up that rigmarole himself. that then implies to me that it’s building on some sort of political/cultural expectation in gondor. so: some sort of relationship to popular legitimacy. the people of gondor are subjects, but perhaps not as totally passive and unconsidered in the power structure as we might assume given the comparability to feudal europe/asia.
given those two things, i want to use AFTA to argue:
that faramir, in looking to assign blame for the faults he sees in gondor, would not directly assign blame to the lower classes, but rather to the aristocracy, because he will have seen them as failing in their moral obligations to the people they rule over. this is not to say that he isn’t fucked off about The People™ valorising war, but i think he’d take the position that they couldn’t possibly be expected to form those values and opinions of their own volition, and the fault lies in their rules. faramir: not gramscian.
faramir lacks any power that is non-military, and even that is of questionable worth because the rangers seem to be fairly distinct to the general structure of the army, and are not exactly a huge force.
faramir lacking any political power isn’t necessarily a huge concern for him (as in, he’s not actively trying to change that), because he knows he’s not going to lead a moral revolution and isn’t interested in taking up the responsibilities having political capital would engender because he’s stuck dealing with this war, that he fucking hates btw has he mentioned that he hates it?
however, given that he is apparently eminently versed in lore and scholarship, he is probably keenly aware that there is this incipient notion of popular legitimacy somewhere in gondor’s culture. it’s not, for most of his life, knowledge that actually does anything for him, but it is there.
éowyn, meanwhile, doesn’t really have many strong political convictions (yet). not because she’s a dumbass or whatever, but because she looks at court politics as kind of a farce, and doesn’t believe that power legitimately emanates from anywhere that isn’t a Big Fucking Army. and why, strictly speaking, would she not think that? the event that brought about the creation of her kingdom was not careful, soft spoken negotiation, it was her ancestors being in the right place at the right time with a Big Fucking Army.
and the internal politics of the Riddermark actually seem to be fairly stable, all things considered. i sincerely doubt that Théoden or Théodred are having to negotiate complex politicking in the way Denethor and Boromir are. so where, then, would éowyn see that kind of political behaviour outside gondor? with gríma.
éowyn, then, will see the immediate contrast between gríma (backroom dealer, manipulator extraordinaire) and théoden (owner of Big Fucking Army). and gríma goes and fucking wins that fight. that forces éowyn to confront the fact that, jesus christ, maybe there are different types of power.
at the same time, she’s going to be in minas tirith and needing to cover for théoden letting his shit get wrecked. not just because she’s prideful, which of course she is, but because if denethor/gondor think that théoden is too weak to hold up his end of the bargain, why would they ever go help the Mark? éowyn, seeing that théoden’s f-f-fucked, knows that there’s a very very good chance the Mark will need help.
against her feelings about courtly politics, she starts to accept that she’s going to need to do something to get power in gondor. not anything substantial, it’s not like she’s trying to overthrow anybody, but enough that when push comes to shove she can force denethor to help out the Mark (if he doesn’t do so willingly).
but, as ive sort of already shown in AFTA, she’s a bit of a dogshit diplomat. good for a little big-brawny-enforcer stuff, but not exactly brimming with cultural sensitivity. by the time she realises théoden + the Mark are fucked, she’ll have burnt quite a few bridges with the gondorrim nobles, and it’s not like she’s the sort of person to go running cap-in-hand begging for mercy.
so: she has to look elsewhere. and wow! a chance for faramir to do his favourite thing — talk about his opinions! and by god, his weird idealistic politics are… actually kind of helpful? because he’s like, look, you’re never gonna be a diplomat, but there are other ways of consolidating power. and one of those ways is by appealing to The People™. so why not work that angle?
and actually, we know that this is a viable route for éowyn because hama, in arguing for her to take up the mantle of théoden’s heir when théoden and éomer fuck off to helm’s deep, basically says that The People™ love her and would have willingly chosen her to lead them.
we also know, based on faramir’s middle men speech, that the people of gondor and the mark have grown alike in nature. not totally unreasonable to then think that the people of gondor would take to her like the people of the mark did.
éowyn, then, in various ways begins to try to win over the people of minas tirith. i need to do a little more research on this bc what ive got on the practicalities of that so far are a bit, uhhh, sketchy, but the least jargony way to describe this is to point to when natalie dormer’s character in GOT gets out of the carriage to go hug and kiss some babies. (marc bloch, eat your heart out)
this would later segue into a potential sequel where, while trying to secure the way for aragorn’s coronation, éowyn actually plays an interesting role because she’s fallen into this incidental Diana, People’s Princess™ role and so is better positioned than almost anyone to go advocate on his behalf. wow! cool! éowyn getting to be politically useful in more ways than just getting hitched!
so yeah. that’s how i am thinking it might play out. this would obviously have a rolling impact on the remainder of AFTA and how certain (🔥) events pan out later, but i think that building up part has to begin pretty much now, narratively. also this lets me get in a reference to “and then her heart changed, or else at last she understood it” and have it not be almost entirely about wanting to shag faramir, but actually about her gradual evolution from valorising war above all else to being like, hmm, maybe there are other ways of being powerful. which i think still largely captures the “no longer I will vie with the great riders” stuff, but more subtly and without feeling quite so… deferential, I guess? Like it’s not that she’s swapping one form of power (violence) for nothing (gardening?? healing?? tolkien accidental articulation of necropolitics??) but swapping violence for a different type of more sustainable power.
yeah. that’s the take, basically. who fucking knows.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
some thoughts while reflecting on suicidal ideation. just heads up this is really really long lol and i don’t expect anyone to read it i’ve just been jouranling a lot and i decided it was normal and reasonable to share these kinds of thoughts with 2k strangers on tumblr.
btw im fine i prommy im just like venting basically. and pls don’t reblog this it’s embarrassing stream of consciousness crazy talk <3
in the moment when you’re spiraling and feeling completely helpless you can only feel sad. after that moment has passed, it feels like “wow that was fucking dramatic”. it’s like being angry at yourself for thinking that somehow you’re too special to suffer along with everyone else.
a lot of people don’t have it easy. so many people struggle their entire lives why should i be any different? do i think im better than other people?
i just want to tell myself to suck it up. it never works though, inevitably there’s another spiral and im stuck feeling like the saddest little weenie on the whole planet.
suicidal thoughts can seem irrational but it never feels that way in the moment. especially when you’ve dealt with it for so long. half of me tells myself im being stupid and it’s such first world problems but the other half of me is like, it’s always been this way there’s no other way to be.
the annoying thing about suicidal thoughts is that there’s always a little spark of hope. there’s always that devil/angel thing going on where you convince yourself life is meaningless and hopeless and there’s no point in staying but then you’re like well what if this happens and that makes it a little more bearable. for years i would just pray that the dumb little hope spark would just die out already but it hasn’t and it probably won’t no matter how much i’ve convinced myself there’s no point in anything.
it’s human nature to want to survive. your body tries to keep you alive whenever you’re hurt. if you’re bleeding or suffocating or otherwise seriously injured your body is fighting to keep you alive even when you don’t want it to. could you imagine if your body didn’t try to stay alive? like if you got anything worse than a paper cut and you just endlessly bled?
not trying to make it religious. you can if you want, but i don’t really have that belief. what creature doesn’t try to keep itself alive? plants will regrow if a deer nibbles them too much. so yeah if you get hurt your body is gonna try to heal that hurt.
suicide. self harm. trauma. are all hard things to talk about and to hear about. well, everyone always wants the gruesome details but hearing about the thought behind it is way less interesting.
because it sounds really simple that well, people who hurt themselves or who talk about dying are experiencing [quote from the DSM] and yeah but that also makes it seem like they’re being irrational
when you’re really thinking that life isn’t worth living it feels completely rational. you’ve thought of every avenue of trying to live and none of it seems worthwhile and you’re also just fucking tired. it doesn’t seem worth the effort.
life can be really long or it can end unexpectedly. imagining a long life and sometimes you can only see how everything will continue going wrong forever. it’s not just being pessimistic sometimes it’s seeing a pattern in your life where things keep falling apart. sometimes it’s seeing the world around you and feeling like you don’t want to be part of the insanity anymore. and no amount of hand drawn comics with fuzzy blue kittens or memes about all the sunrises you’ll miss can make you feel differently. who cares about the sunrise when you hate waking up everyday? who cares about the sunset when you have nightmares all night?
not saying that there’s no way to help people who are suicidal but that maybe the same approach doesn’t work for everyone. there doesn’t always have to be an approach of trying to find a solution to every concern they have. sometimes if you just let people talk it helps just to say it.
because it feels crazy. you feel like an insane person because who the hell wants to die? who’s that dramatic? at least that’s how it can feel. it’s really alienating and isolating to feel like you can never be honest with anyone because they’ll never see you the same way again. suddenly you’re a fragile little egg and they have to “check in” on you to make sure you haven’t finally cracked. i think it’s possible to keep people safe without making them feel like they’re under a microscope.
obviously it’s hard to listen to someone talk about really heavy stuff and i wouldn’t expect people to always be down for that. sometimes it just helps to know that someone out there even knows that you’re struggling. because it feels so shitty to keep it all inside and maybe you don’t want to talk about it all the time.
it’s not about making your friend group your personal crisis counselors. it always goes back to the idea that it’s not really acceptable to openly talk about struggling and that should change.
it’s a tragedy when anyone feels like they can’t take another day in the world. there are so many things that need to change in order to support people who feel that way because it isn’t always just linked to mental health alone. things like poverty or ongoing abuse can exacerbate it.
people really love true crime. they love hearing ghastly details of abuse and murder. but people can’t face the fallout from things like that. the people left behind after the case is closed who are traumatized. people like to satisfy their morbid curiosity but there’s real people on the other end of that.
there’s no satisfying way to end a conversation about suicide. at least for me idk in the back of my head i’ll probably always feel like life is an opt out kind of experience even if i manage to find ways to make existence bearable. there’s never a perfect answer for everything.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Silent Love
Secret lovers just can’t keep their hands off each other.
Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader
Rating: Explicit
Words: 4690
Genre: Romance / Fluff
Warnings: Sex (public), cursing, alcohol, non-consensual touching (not by Bakugou and not sexual)
BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~
Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+
Under the cut~
You could be such a god damned tease sometimes. Yes, Bakugou loved it, watching you strut around with that natural sway of your hips that drove him crazy. Your smile, your curves and that sly sideways glance you liked to give him were all equally as tempting. What was even better about it all was that you were all his. Every inch of that beautiful body was at his disposal, anytime and anywhere he wanted. You crumbled at his mercy with just a simple touch, the two of you wanting nothing more than to pleasure each other. He wanted to take you right now, to pull you off into a remote corner of this hell of a venue and fuck you up against the wall. But, no matter how badly he wanted, he knew that he couldn’t.
Why? Because you were both at a large Pro Hero convention, representing your own brands. Technically, you were competition to him, since your agency just so happened to be in his region. The two of you found yourselves constantly fighting to drag in the villains and keep up your popularity. The rivalry was good PR material, and so even though you were seeing each other, you kept it up. Yes, it was made harder by the fact that not a single soul knew that you two were dating, and that is what was frustrating him the most at this particular moment. It was the time of the convention that involved a formal dinner, where everyone dressed their best and focused on networking.
Bakugou hated networking. He didn’t need people in high places to help him, he had grown through the ranks all on his own. It was all his own power, his strength and somewhat questionable methods. You were the same, which is why he had fallen so hard for you and vice versa. He wanted nothing more than to have you on his arm, to show you off to the world that you were his lover. Still, a mutual decision was made to hide it until necessary, and in truth, you both liked the secrecy. It gave you privacy, a way to avoid being constantly harassed by the media. Sooner or later, you both figured that someone would find out, then you would roll with whatever happens. But now, at this particular event, Bakugou wanted to blow his cover if it would keep the damn vultures off of you.
Men had a tendency to swarm you. It was nothing that you were doing to attract them outside of just being yourself, which is what had drawn him to you in the first place, too. But now that he had won your affection, all the other men were nothing but little flies buzzing around your head and annoying you constantly. Bakugou wanted to take you into his arms, kiss and even fuck you on the table just to prove that none of them had a chance. It was a horrible fantasy, Bakugou knew this, one of the more extreme versions of his thoughts to keep them away from you. That particular thought was mostly drawn forth by the fact that you were taking great pleasure in teasing him from afar.
Sensual glances, a peek down the front of your dress, and that sweet sway of your hips as you walked by him all made his blood boil. You had even hugged him earlier in a fake greeting, squeezing your body against his and making him want to do nothing more than sweep you off your feet and take you back to his hotel room. That little [color] dress you wore fit you so perfectly, caressing your curves and flattering your skin tone so well that he was just itching to touch you. Yet, for the sake of your shared secret, he stayed silent and watched from afar.
It was interesting to him how nice you seemed to be to people that approached you. Typically, you preferred to act much like him, to hide in the corner and wait for it to be over. Something must have been making you very happy. Perhaps it was just his presence, that he was close enough to protect or divert attention if necessary. It was something he hadn’t had to do just yet, but at the moment, there was a man who was being a little too persistent, even after you had tried to shrug him off. His time may just come, the instant you gave him a ‘help me’ look, he wouldn’t hesitate.
“This wine is very good,” You noted as the man beside you mentioned for the fifth time how good it was. “I’ve only had one glass, but it seems--”
“Only one?!” He proclaimed, annoying you beyond belief. “C’mon, [Name], you gotta have some more! How can you enjoy the party without a little alcohol to loosen you up a bit, hm?” It was then that he slipped an arm around your shoulders, instantly making you shy away.
“Nah, I’m good, really. No, no I’m good and I’m definitely not going to drink from your glass.” You finally took a few steps back from him, nearly ready to make a scene or run to your secret boyfriend, who was surely fuming by now.
“What’s the matter, honey? Scared I got cooties?”
“Oh fuck off, we’re not children.” You gave a hearty laugh along with your snap, trying to make it sound not so… mean. Even though you wanted to tell him to go shove that glass up his ass. “I’m just not into that.”
“It’s so unlady-like to curse. You’ve been working too closely with that Bakugou, he’s a bad influence on you and your agency.” He waddled a finger at you like you really were a child, and the urge to break it was only quelled by the fact that you saw Bakugou stand out of the corner of your eye.
With a scoff, you crossed your arms, turning to face the tall and brawny blonde as he was already making his way over. “Bakugou!” You called, the name unfamiliar on your tongue and making you long for the sweet taste of his given name on your lips. “Do you think you’re a bad influence on me?”
“The fuck?” Bakugou glowered down at you, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m a bad influence on anyone I meet, if they bother to take influence from me, which is their fucking mistake in the first place. I’m no ones god damned babysitter.” His crimson glare moved to the man that had been pestering you, becoming darker out of natural annoyance. “Not like this little twats opinion matters.”
“Excuse me?” The man pointed his wine glass at him, which was nearly full and threatened to spill. “I’ll have you know I’m a CEO of a support items company and I--”
“--Need to fuck off. You need to fuck off, you’re right.” Bakugou gave him a firm slap on the shoulder, giving it a good squeeze to get his point across. “Now. Unless you’d like the entire party to know how much of a douche you are.”
“I’ve only been nice to not ruin your image.” You spoke up, arms crossed over your chest. “But I’ll gladly talk as loud as I can to really get people to listen.”
Trembling from anger, defeat and rejection, the spiffly dressed CEO scoffed, shrugging Bakugou’s hand off of him. “You’re both filth! You don’t deserve your ranking as heros with such awful personalities!” As he spoke, he used his hands, and with a dimwittedness that made you gasp out in shock, he spilled his entire cup of wine all down the front of your dress. You had tried to evade, taking a few steps back, but you weren’t fast enough. Bakugou was, however, snatching the man by the front of the shirt, his free hand prepped to blow him away with his quirk as he snarled.
“You fucking prick! You did that on purpose!”
“N-No, it was an accident!”
“Kats- I mean, Bakugou, don’t--!” Your panicked voice and hand on his chest quickly calmed Bakugou down, alleviating the red from his vision. Without you, he would have decked the guy for sure, but your teary eyes and ashamed posture quickly made him realize his attention was on the wrong person. With a scoff, Bakugou released the man roughly, sending him falling backwards onto his backside. In the same moment, he shrugged off his nice suit coat, placing it around your shoulders so you could hide the damage to the best of your ability.
“Go chase someone else, you fucking dickhead,” Bakugou barked at the man on the ground as he ushered you towards the exit. “Get a fucking life.”
Keeping your head down to avoid looks from the other hundreds of people in the room, you didn’t speak until you were both out in the hall, headed towards the bathroom. “Katsuki, that was so embarrassing! My dress is ruined! I almost wanted to let you punch the shit out of him.”
“I think I would have been arrested if I did. I’m sure he’s going to try to call security on me just because I pushed him. I’m sorry, [Name]. What do you want to do?”
Sniffling, you struggled against the urge to lay your head on his arm, not wanting to nurture the suspicion that surely bloomed in the ballroom. “I have a change of clothes in the big bathrooms with the showers and lockers. I’ll just fix myself up and… go back, I guess.”
“You seriously want to go back?”
“We’re two of the top heroes in the country, Katsuki, we have to.” You looked up at him, feeling your heart flutter at the visible concern on his furrowed brow. Smiling, you eased his tension just a bit, softening his expression. “It’ll be okay. The party was almost over, anyway…”
Eventually, the two of you reached the large locker room, where you both stopped before entering. With a sly smile, you nodded towards the door. “Come in with me. There’s places to hide if someone else comes in.”
“What if someone else is already in here?” Bakugou glowered down at you, even though the thought was incredibly enticing. “That’s worse.”
“Oh, give me a minute, I’ll check.” With that, you scurried into the room, letting the door shut behind you. After a quick sweep of the large locker room, you decided that it was indeed empty, going back to the entrance to let him in. “It’s good!”
After a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one would notice, Bakugou slipped inside, letting his arm rest around your back. “If we get caught in here, our secret will be blown.”
“Mm, I don’t care.” You cupped his cheeks softly, pushing yourself up to kiss him, feeling tingles spread across your skin as he was quick to return the affection. “I just want to be alone with you. It’s so hard to stay away!” After one more quick peck, you made your way towards the lockers to fetch your change of clothes. Holding his hand as you went, Bakugou trailed along behind you, free hand in his pocket as he glanced around the room to grow familiar with it. It was a typical locker room, with a section of lockers and bathroom stalls, which had full coverage doors and would be a perfect hiding spot if he needed it. There were also showers with curtains and a row of sinks with mirrors. Each section was basically in it’s own separate room, with motion sensor lights that were currently only shining down on them in the lockers area.
Stopping by your specific locker, you punched in the code you had created and opened it up, pulling out your bag. Watching curiously, Bakugou stood back a bit to give you room. “Did you expect there to be a mess or something?”
Shrugging off his coat, you laid it down on a bench. “Well, you know I like to be prepared for emergencies. I figured if something happened this would be better than going back to the hotel room. And… this dress is a little too small for me anyway, I thought that the zipper might bust.”
With a chuckle, Bakugou came up behind you, helping you to unzip your dress. “How the hell did you even get it zipped up?”
“An hour and a lot of anger.”
“Hm.” Unable to really think of a response, Bakugou found himself distracted by your skin as it appeared beneath the zipper, which stopped right below the base of your hips with a teasing peek of your cute underwear. “I like those.”
“Like what?”
“Your underwear.” He slipped his hands beneath the dress to caress your sides, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder before trailing more up your neck. “Those are my favorite ones. Is there a reason for that?”
The growl of his voice in your ear and the heat of his touch made you shiver, smiling as you tenderly reached up to caress his cheek. “Besides the fact that you can’t see them beneath my dresses? They’re your favorite, of course. I thought seeing them would excite you.”
“And when would I get to see them?”
“Well after teasing you for a while longer I was going to drag you off somewhere to take your frustrations out on me. But that got ruined.” Turning your head, you caught his lips in a kiss, allowing your body to rest back against his as his hands slipped around to your front. The tingling in your core was quickly smothered as he gave an annoyed grunt into the kiss, his fingers sticking to your skin that had gotten wet with the wine.
“It did. And you’re fucking sticky… and smell like wine.” As he removed his hands from your dress, you huffed, glowering up at him with flushed cheeks as you stepped out of the dress the rest of the way.
“Well it’s not my fault that asshole decided to be a prick! I don’t want to have to take a whole damn shower…” You tossed the dirtied dress down onto the bench beside your other belongings in a mangled mess, the dark red stains only further fueling your anger.
“You don’t have to, just come here.” Bakugou had made his way to the row of sinks, all connected by one large vanity. Currently washing his hands, he watched you through the mirror as you sighed, making your way to him with your arms crossed over your chest. When you reached him, he took a moment to shake the water from his hands before he helped you sit up onto the counter, ignoring your hiss of shock from how cold it was against the bare skin of your ass and thighs.
Snatching some paper towels, Bakugou wet them under the running water he was using, getting a little bit of soap on them as well. You leaned back on your hands as you watched him, not embarrassed about your exposed chest, as he had seen, touched and kissed every inch of you by now. Dating for two years will get you to that point, afterall, where there is not a hint of shame between you. In truth, although you were scared to tell him, you truly loved him with every little bit of your soul. You dreamed of finally coming out to the public about your relationship, about getting married and even having a family with him. But, it was such an intense subject that you feared speaking to him about it, worried he may not feel the same.
Now, your adoration for him was only made more intense, especially as he cleaned your stomach and chest with such a tender and attentive touch. His expression stern, he was highly focused on making sure to get every dirtied inch of you, and although nothing he was doing was sexual, it still made your heart race. How could he do this and not actually love me, you thought to yourself, only able to chance quick glances up at his face in your bashful state. Two years and not a single ‘I love you’ from either of us… I just need to suck it up and say it. He’s probably thinking the same thing…
“Thank you, Katsuki…” You spoke with a quiet softness, finally swallowing your embarrassment to catch his gaze with your own. Pausing his work as he grew distracted from your words, Bakugou leaned forward and kissed you softly, caressing your sides tenderly with both hands.
“No problem. You know I’ll take any chance to get to rub on you.” A sly smirk crossed his lips as he squeezed your ribs, making you giggle and lean forward into him.
“Oh whatever, that’s not the only reason. You know damn well it’s because you care about me.” You let your arms rest up around his neck, smiling against his lips as he tugged you a bit closer to the edge. “Because I’m your baby.”
“Is that what you are?” Bakugou abandoned the paper towel in his hand in favor of feeling your skin, keeping your body close to his. “My babygirl?” His smirk only grew as you had a visible reaction to the nickname, goosebumps spreading across your skin as you gave a slight nibble to your bottom lip. “Like that, do you?”
You didn’t just like it. You loved it. Anytime he called you by any sweet or sexual nickname you felt like you would melt, making your body and heart only ache more for him. “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” Bringing one hand around to caress his neck, your lips curled into a sly smile. “I think you’ll have to do some investigating to find out.”
The words barely left your lips before he kissed your fiercely, tugging your body to the very edge of the counter. You would surely fall off if not for his body between your legs, and you were at the perfect height for doing exactly what you both had been craving the entire night. Even if it was just a quickie, it would alleviate the tension just long enough to finish with the party and get back to his hotel room. With practiced fingers, you were quick to undo his belt, tugging his pants loose until you could pull his hard and aching cock from his boxers. Just touching his strong and girthy manhood made your head swim, wishing desperately for the moment when it would enter you.
Pussy already so wet you knew it was dripping, it only took a quick moment to push your underwear aside before he was inside you. You couldn’t hold back a gasp as he filled you up, clutching onto his shoulders tightly as he dug his cock in as deep as he could. “Oh fuck, Katsuki--” Your voice squeaked as he began to thrust, forcing you to lean back on your hands for extra support. Ignoring the rocking of your body with each thrust, you instead kept your eyes on his hips, loving to watch the way he fucked you. He knew the exact speed that got you off, how deep and hard you liked it without you ever having to ask or beg for a single thing. Unless, he wanted you to beg, which you did without hesitation. There were times where you felt positive that you would do anything just to feel his cock inside you.
“What, you little cock hungry slut. Isn’t this what you’ve wanted all night?” Bakugou gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at him. The lustful fire in his eyes only made you hotter, though you were unable to find it in you to answer, your moans and gasps of pleasure taking the lead. He didn’t seem to need an answer, only increasing his roughness until you were nearly writhing at his mercy. “You want it so bad? You’re going to fucking get it.”
“Y-yes, Katsuki!” You were finally able to speak, his warning boiling the excitement within you. “Please, fuck me harder!” Just as you were about to get your request, Bakugou stopped, staring intently into the mirror behind you. Panting and aching for him to continue, you thought for a moment that he was just further teasing you, though you didn’t notice the confused glare on his face in your hazy pleasured state. “Hey, Katsuki, why’d you-- mmph!”
You gripped his arm as he clasped a hand over your mouth, shushing you with a sharp hiss in the same moment. It was then that you could hear it, soft giggling out in the hallway and excited drunken talking from other women. With a soft curse, Bakugou removed himself from you, holding onto his pants with one hand while the other snatched your wrist. Not wanting to be caught either, you followed him to the toilet stalls, where he shut the door behind you as softly as he could. Locking it, he stopped for a moment to try and listen for the intruders, grumbling in annoyance as they were clearly now inside the locker room.
Keeping your voice to a whisper, you pushed yourself up on your toes to whisper into his ear. “Do you think they heard us?”
Knowing his voice wasn’t quiet enough to talk, Bakugou shrugged, looking down at you instead of at the door. The frustration on his face was obvious, and you had to admit that you were just as upset. Still, your eyes fell back to look at his still rock hard cock, just begging for attention. Your pussy aching just as fiercely, you gave his earlobe a teasing nibble, pressing your body into his. “Don’t stop, Katsuki… I want you to keep fucking me.”
The stone wall was cold against your chest as he shoved you against it, but you had little time to adjust as he slipped himself back into you. Biting down onto your bottom lip, you struggled to keep yourself silent, his cock reaching so deeply into you with each thrust you thought you may just go insane. The sounds of the women chatting about in the locker room were of little consequence, knowing that as long as you didn’t let a single moan slip through, they wouldn’t notice. Bakugou was even attentive enough to avoid the slapping of skin, though that didn’t stop him from growling taunting words into your ear.
“Think you can keep quiet?” He tightened his grip on your hips, his fingers threatening to bruise. “I think you’re going to slip up, babygirl.” The teasing words were soon joined by his fingers against your clit, rubbing in rhythm with his thrusts. Your hips arched up higher in reaction, feeling his cock slamming even deeper inside of you. Sure enough, you almost lost your control, digging your nails into the stone wall as you clamped your teeth together. Not wanting to give in, you gave a small shake of your head in defiance. You quickly realized that was a mistake, able to feel him smirk against your ear in acceptance of your silent challenge.
In that instant, his teeth clamped down hard onto your neck, biting and suckling as he increased the pleasure with his fingers. Unable to stop it, a sharp and pleasured gasp escaped your lips before you covered your mouth, muffling the remaining moans you couldn’t hold back. Satisfied that he had won, Bakugou released his hold on your skin, giving a soft chuckle into your ear. “I win.”
Too caught up in the pleasure as you could feel your orgasm building up rapidly, you didn’t bother paying attention to the confused female voices outside of the stall nor did you have the focus to fight against him. All you wanted was to cum, to feel him fill you up and make turn you into a mess of puddy in his hands.
“Cum for me,” Bakugou hissed in your ear, his own movements becoming erratic and harder, no longer caring about how roughly his hips slammed against yours. “Cum all over my cock, [Name].”
Moaning freely into your hand now, your entire body trembled and jerked with your powerful orgasm, only kept up on your feet by his grip on you. In that same moment, you felt his hot release inside of you, the grunts and sighs of pleasure he let out muffled by his face shoved into your shoulder. His hands once again on your hips, he had your body nearly completely pressed against the wall, and he was close enough that you could feel the heavy pounding of his heart. As the pleasure began to subside for both of you, his hands softly began to travel up your sides, his lips placing gentle kisses along your neck.
The sweet affection made goosebumps spread across your skin, making you smile and give a soft hum. You felt so warm and full, as if his essence was spreading through every inch of your body. It was love, you knew it well, and the gentle way in which he caressed you only confirmed that he was feeling the same. All around you was nothing but silence and his touch. You wanted to speak to him, but as you caught his glance, you could see the reluctance in his expression to make a single noise in fear that someone was still outside the stall.
After sharing a quick and silent kiss, you softly urged him up off of you, nibbling at your lip as he pulled himself from within you. Already able to feel his cum dripping from your pussy, you were quick to pull your underwear back into place, before you gave a small tug on his shirt. “Gimme this,” you whispered, ignoring the confused cock of his eyebrow. “So I can leave the stall.”
With a grunt, Bakugou complied, unbuttoning and handing you his nice dress shirt. It was large enough to cover you decently, so with him hiding behind the door, you exited the stall as casually as possible. The locker room was just as you had hoped, with not a single other soul around.
“Come out, Katsuki, it’s okay. We should hurry, though.” Looking back at him as he exited, he had already fixed his pants back into place, working on running his fingers through his hair to attempt to fix the sweaty awkward mess. Feeling a blush rush across your cheeks, you couldn’t help but adore him in that moment. His expression softened as he observed you waiting for him, flushed and glowing. To him, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, every fiber of your being calling to him like sirens song, one which he couldn’t ignore.
As Bakugou took you into his arms once more, he hugged you tightly, making you giggle and return the affection with your arms around his neck. It was true, you could be such a god damned tease sometimes, but there was much more to you than that in his eyes. You were beauty, loyalty, pleasure and kindness. You were love, and although he was scared to admit it out loud, he loved you. It wasn’t something that either of you needed to admit just yet, you thought as he kissed your lips with a tenderness that melted your heart.
You could feel it. For now, that was all that you needed.
“Still want to go back to the party?” Bakugou released you, running his fingers through your hair gently to fix it back into place. Smile growing, you gave his arm a gentle rub, giving a small shake of your head.
“No, Katsuki… I think I just want to be alone with you for the rest of the night. You’re more important to me than some stupid networking party.”
“People might talk.”
“Let them. As long as I have you, nothing else matters. Now, come on. I want to say all this mushy stuff cuddled up in some sheets, with some gross take out food and a lot of wine.”
#cutesuki-lemons#bnha imagines#bnha scenarios#bakugou x reader#bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha fanfiction#fanfiction#bnha writing blog#xreader#personal
720 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just so deeply believe (and im right) that capitalism and putting a best face forward destroys art and also your will to want to create. the things that people make, that most people know about, become popular because industries pick people they know will comply, or need money, or are naive enough to think they can get what they want.
there’s no reason productions should be that expensive and draining on crew members (i care less about actors bc i am a crew member and guess what actors just sit around all day sorry not sorry and i was one :P) but i always say: the little progress we make, is it really progressive? transgressive?
and how could it be? how could it b ewhen companies refuse to relinquish themselves and break themselves up into parts. a web series could give people so much more freedom, but that is a whole lot more of a difficulty. i’ve made my own shorts (that i hate) and said what i wanted to say and even the pressure from how my school would receive it fucked up my psyche.
and it takes so long for people who refuse to be stifled and be obsessed with this capitalist nightmare to get their shit released. if they get really popular still theyre not rolling in money (as they should not be) but they struggle to get shit together bc it’s harder to work with someone whose vision is opposed to this white supremacist garbage nightmare.
i have a theory about parasite which is that SK has a totally different history with labor and capital than my country (US) does and it was done with that in mind and as an ttack on imperialism very clearly. that movie is not without its flaws, which can be discussed, but to date next to sorry to bother you which i havent seen it’s pretty much the most antagonistic film about that subject i’ve seen in a while.
and in SK there’s tons of queer cinema (i may be exaggerating) but a lot of it is very gritty or uncomfortable (i am going to try and find this list my friend made of good sk queer cinema i think? or just n gen) and western gay shit is so popular overseas bc there’s a plethora of (BAD OR ANNOYING MOVIES I HATE CAROL) to go off of and see. a lot of international lesbians, for ex, really are into like hwood gay films or some shit bc that’s also what they can access and consume (let’s not get started on that fuckin dichotomy of man/woman but w/e)
i wish i could be more cheerful and positive. it’s not that i don’t want to have fun or escape or watch these shows, in fact i do, and there’s legitimate shock when you see sth like ITSAY and it’s a beautiful cinematic experience. oh and on top of that i hate most TV and most TV is trash and films are better. imo ITSAY is like a movie split.
why do we keep having hope in these systems? what i want in the future, because theyre not going away, is for more corps to reach out to collectives and diff types of filmmakers or artists and support them without making them stick to a contract and not do what they want. UNFORTUNATELY that’s really not how anyone feels like working.
in my belief, at a time like right now, we have to be clear about not accepting austerity from the relief and to not fall into the trap of advancement via cultural artifacts. it’s bullshit—we fight against it. that doesn’t mean we can’t get excited when shows have things to say but i refuse to withhold critique because it’s so necessary in every piece
btw there’s this filmmaker called Park Kyoung Mi and though she’s married to this irish dude (who i think is like a professor of social theory idk) she was an AD to park chan wook (also a socialist) and a great filmmaker. in each of her works there’s a focus on women and queer themes of women and teens and their isolation and subsequent connections with each other. how men let them down, how you have to band together, the scariness of growing up. she made this miniseries for netflix called “school nurse files.” SNF was a book, it was written by a woman and its about desire, loss, and conformity, particularly for teenagers. there’s lots of queer themes and adult themes that make it so we understand the precious lives of teenagers and how they need love and guidance instead of being shunned and pit against each other.
it’s one of my favorite miniseries. netflix has this habit of picking up shows and telling NO ONE about them or very little advertising (it’s diff for south korean shows i think since a lot of production companies may come on board) and then canceling them. it is for a LEGIT reason which is MONEY!!!! but the director said she said yes bc she was given complete control and without it she would refuse. she also said she couldn’t get work or was feeling like the work she was doing was terrible (and in the reviews of the show or explanations about her it was always beginning with “PCW’s protege”) but she almost quit bc the pressure hrut and whittled at her
atp we need to take advantage of these systems if we have things to say and not let them take advantage of us. unfortunately, the opposite happens because people need work, have things to say whethere they’re shallow or not, and CONSTANT production means work and BS. this is how i feel about pretty much all industry and i’m the least critical of BL as opposed to say, kpop, or uhhhhhhhhh any celebrity ever bc it DOES have an edge over others but it’s an edge that they can barely fucking reach for or do well with.
nothing and i mean nothing abou oversaturation and constant production will yield results that are going to be radical and “good” bc we’re approaching things ass backwards. the norm isn’t the ones that hurt you, the ones that stay with you, the ones that mean something. the norm is the bullshit you have to parse through. and even for things that do a great job of storytelling they still have their flaws or still have to buy into a system eventually, if the work calls for it, that they would long to eschew
if anyone sees this read this profile on arthur jafa, a prolific DP who i got the pleasure of seeing live AYYYY, and what he has to say. he left filmmaking then came back on his own terms and frankly i believe that’s just...what we have to do if we want to make a better world. that’s just me personally but this is my counterbalance to a fallacy that a work is revolutionary when it has zero intention of being so or will lie about its intention to save itself
this piec is called ARTHUR JAFA’S RADICAL ALIENATION and it reminds me of all the artists—particularly thai—i’ve seen that have had this radical alienation or refuse to water down their message and people will deal
i present one of my fav pieces i’ve read frm the past year (it’s from 2014 but i read it end of 2019 when i was questioning me future) Radical Art is an Act of Uncompromising Passionate Resistance
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Things I regret and things I wish I had done better in pushing Diversity in Books
Probably a bit self-aggrandizing... and I’m aware of that. And I’m aware most people won’t believe me, but I have documentation. (I also pushed diversity in Korean dramas a bit, too lol, but that’s much more subtle and harder to prove.)
Short version: I helped pull a lot of the strings on the internet about the discussions of diversity and writing from about 2004 (November 2004)
Loose background:
I have always been more diverse than the people around me. And I’ve always felt disaffected from being able to understand my own diversity completely as an adoptee. Being Highly Intersectional, but often disconnected, also makes me super stubborn on representation over other people.
I am also from a line of advocates on all sides of my family.
And no, I’ve never been particularly good at being “nice”. Kind, yes. Nice, no. So people have always felt split about me from the time I was born, I suppose.
Disclaimer:
Some of this might be retconning a bit... just a bit. But unintentionally. All facts are true as I can document/remember them.
Introduction:
So, I’ve always had my eyes on writing diversity, but never quite felt qualified to write it when I was younger, and being adopted, I was raised by a white family. So most of my characters from extension of exposure, ended up white and were female and a few were gay, but being ace spec, and in the dark about it, I didn’t know how to write that. (Incidentally also a sucker fro Rom Coms.) But I’m quite stubborn and quite detailed when it comes to such things, so tried my best with what I had and did not cross.
Internet hit, and frankly, I spent the majority of it on Sailor Moon in the early years. Also arguing down Adoption lawyers from using triggering statements in their “ads” to adoptive parents on listserves, etc. (Adopted to a Jewish family and Korean, so top notch arguing skills is a must. [I joke, also insider’s joke])
Nanowrimo hit, and I learned that asexuality is a real thing, which was also a part of me, but they didn’t acknowledge gray-aces until much, much later. I was inquiring about it in November 2004 (Finally looked up the date)... (so AVEN lies their butts off about that because I remember the first aces out were sex repulsed, aro aces. Not a spot of gray out there.)
Since about 2005? Nanowrimo I started compiling lists of links to various information, since it started to repeat from the previous year. Every year until about 2008-ish... I compiled links for Nanowrimo for resources on how to write various groups. The fights all went in the same exact direction.
I also from about the beginning started compiling Banned Books list by category and every year posting that thread, which was also exceedingly popular. I did it to expose the stupid reasons that books are banned, which mostly were on diversity.
I also was the one that started the “Above Below” in writing forums form. (I took it from ASMR--A Sailor Moon Romance, who would play games like that and cross referenced it with my experience at Canisius College Summer Writing Camp and used the rules from there. I did it because Nanowrimo at the time didn’t have a critique section, so me and another person discussed it in PMs first, and then I started the thread in an “other” section. (I still have the rules from the *original* post on my computer, which have since gotten corrupted.) Nanowrimo also had word limits, so I had one for first page with a strict 250 word limit and eventually after Miss Snark, one for query letters (which I’m exceedingly good at. I won Miss Snark’s contest, but for a while thought I lost, until I saw the Nanowrimo boards to show I won. lol I’m sued to rejection.)
Also started compiling the Writing Survey questions in about Year 3 and ran it, gathered statistics, etc about Nanowrimo and the writing population.
People hated me. People liked me too... since I spent a ton of time helping people. The PoC threads, out of the diversity threads, were always the most contentious. (Also in other writing forums too... often populated by white Moderators who didn’t know why associating black people watermelon and porches was racist as anything... *cough* Critique Circle *cough*)
So... given that background...
What Did I Do wrong:
- Probably shouldn’t have bit at Trolls and asked people to move it along? (OK, I can’t resist the temptation still.)
- I started with thinking it was individualistic power, not systemic. I set this on the wrong course. We should have been challenging agents and editors as much as writers from the beginning. This is my bad, (though I was not alone.) I didn’t have enough study back then. I didn’t understand how systems worked.
- I probably shouldn’t have been thinking only about privileged people writing. I think that it should be own voices first, but that privileged people and outgroups should *also* be given a chance *after* a ton of research to also write people of color. Personally, it’s been a bit overcorrrected in places, but yeah, I think the idea that we should teach outgroups... no. They need to do the work, the research, be insecure, and pick up the slack.
- I probably should have said no more often about diversity. No, you can’t write that. (But others should also have said no, but sometimes you’re hungry for representation.) Also my line of “Real People > Fiction” would have been greatly helpful back then.
- I did argue that YA was where most books are banned and most trends *start* in YA books, but the part that was also missed was that I also said that it spreads *from* YA, not that it should *stop* solely at YA. BTW, you do not have to write only YA as an author... It’s a demographic, not a genre. A lot of kids also read adult books. I did as a 13 year old. (When the YA section was 4 shelves at best) I think I should have pushed more for it to get into the adult section, too, because without the tools to see what it’s like, how is the previous generation supposed to help kids as well? Adults are not hopeless.
- I also think I should have instituted better ways of discourse around diversity, but it’s not like anyone was cooperating with it. Argue with resources, reliable sources, back it with fact, not truthiness.
- I also think I should have argued that if you have NO ONE in your life of that diversity... HANDS OFF. Not the token friend, but someone who comes around *often* to you *house* you *regularly* talk with and interact with. Being more adamant about that might have helped. If you never read anything from that group and yet still want to write them HANDS OFF. If you think all _blank_ of that group are terrible people... also HANDS OFF. If your only interaction with the country and the people is through dramas and pop culture... HANDS OFF.
- I really needed the words Implicit Bias, not just Privilege. Also needed Privilege Qualifying too. White Tears also would have been useful. Stereotype Threat... OK... I needed more Social Justice vocabulary.
- I should have learned that everyone has privilege, but it’s how you use it that matters sooner... It took me a while to get there. And I wrote it out first... as far as I know, and spread it around.
- I also have smaller regrets like... the use of Caucasian... I pressed MTV Decoded for a video on it. Also on the history of “Submissive” Asian.
- Also wish I had written a better code of conduct on how to interact with people with Diversity so they don’t get mentally drained better.
- I think I should have argued better for Diversity within, not stereotypes outside looking in. (This is currently missing from a lot of the Diversity workshops on writing--the stories that don’t hit the bell curve neatly. Fi~~~x it.)
- I also think trying to force convert authors was wrong (and is still wrong). If they do, they do, instead.... I should have bolstered support from the System itself and from authors of that identity, without locking out privileged authors that wanted to try. Let the authors that try and flop, push back flounder so others can learn from them. I don’t abide by canceling before release UNLESS there is a very good reason they shouldn’t profit. You can cancel them by not buying their book.
What I Did Right:
- I did ask Writing Forums to institute a Diversity policy that was more specific like the writing conventions. (Still looking at you Nanowrimo, Critique Circle, Absolute Write and Wattpad.) AND to have administration at the very top of the forum that was not white OR at least very educated on those topics (Head of forums should get paid... unless they started it themselves). But to have boards to review problems with diversity discussion. (And I know it’s not for everyone and it’s exhausting, but power representation is something we need.) It’s not bad to ask those in power to be educated on the problem and not make weak excuses on why they can’t do it, and then ban people for challenging them on diversity. *cough* I’m STILL asking that all writing forums are specific on diversity and prejudices and ban all prejudiced swears because from the Nanowrimo survey shit, fuck, dick, ass... are *less* offensive than prejudiced swears. And people can self-censor and can look it up.
- I know I was late to ask for it, but yeah, asking Editors and Agents to be *educated* before making a call for diversity isn’t a bad thing. (Lots of studying to get here.) I know they can’t change their sexuality, skin color, disability status, etc. BUT being able to list books from what you are asking for and ones that are not all privileged-qualifying would show you know your stuff. A quick way, BTW, to get a hold of countries is to read Folklore... I know this from lots and lots of reading and studying foreign media. Story structures, deeper beliefs, etc, can often be found there, plus they are quick to read. I know I wasn’t the first on this... Lee and Low pressed for it a lot, but I tried to extend it.
- I asked for end to end diversity. Every single part of the bookstore should have diversity in it. I’ve been going to the bookstore at least once a year since I was 13, scanning how the market has shifted and changed. I know authors counsel that by the time you see it on the shelf the fad is gone... but that’s not what I was looking for. I was looking for diversity, for gaps that people hadn’t filled yet. I want the cookbook section to have worldwide cooking. I want the economics books to have PoC names in it--even if I might never write or buy one. Because mirrors are important. I know this. If women can spread to the entire bookstore without question, then so can all of the other authors and sections. I’m still frickin’ asking for this. I know how much it hurts writers to not be able to find non-fiction books on their own identity.
- I insisted on research as the best route to get there. Not write what you know, explore what you don’t know. (But a lot of writers are lazy about research... if you are going to write diversity that’s not your own, then no.) If you’re not willing to put a year’s worth of work into deprogramming, it’s not worth your time to even touch diversity topics.
- Insisted that Diversity people are not trends. (Though I wish I’d pressed this more). Again, conquer the ENTIRE bookstore so it’s not a question. It’s an answer. Books are there to answer things in my PoV.
- I spent a lot of time trying to learn perspectives and listen to people and dissenting within.
- I don’t regret challenging We Need Diverse books for being a-holes about rolling back on the dream of diverse books end to end by saying Diversity only for YA and challenging them to do better on adoption discussions with an adoptee at the helm who is defogged. If I’m unpopular for calling them out to do better, so be it. Again, conquer the entire bookstore. Don’t be afraid to dream big so the movement has a place to go, and don’t make a movement solely for your benefit.
And personally... I think book sellers should stop trying to cater to the 40% market of male readers who read only 1 book a year by insisting on more male characters... but that’s me.
But this is me... still wishing to have my dream come true that when I go to any part of the bookstore, go to a movie theater, listen to music, that I know diversity is represented there without anyone batting an eyelash at its existence. It’s not always going to benefit me. Sometimes it might actually hurt. But I’m OK with that if I can’t leverage my privileges always... I’ll cheer for it... because it means someone who was like me as a kid, and them as an adult can finally see themselves in the media they consume. And truly, this lifts my heart.
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
please may i have a chamorro infodump
hafa adai welcome to my chamorro crash course™! i have talked a bit about this before on another ask, but since you said infodump, well...😏
under the cut :D
as i said before chamorro refers to the indigenous people from the mariana islands in micronesia, most notably ppl know guam (in chamorro, guahan) as it is a us territory. idk why the rest of the marianas arent territory but its better that way (side note, guam is currently fighting for independence). im personally from saipan, which is the largest island in the entire archipelago and the epicest B) oh also i should mention that there are no waves around the islands. you cannot surf. this is due to the coral reefs and the fact that the islands are made of limestone. also the islands are right on the edge of mariana trench which is kinda sexy ngl
in the 17th century spain decided to colonize the shit out of us. it fucking sucked. most of the language (which btw is currently going extinct...) adapted spanish into it and even culture/food (such as tamales gisu which are not traditional tamales also dont try it i hate it), and a shit ton of people were converted to catholicism and it was suuper easy to take the standing religion/beliefs, they just had to twist it in their favor (fuck you spain). some traditions from before colonization still exist, such as asking for permission from ancestral spirits (ancestors were worshiped and venerated) to enter the jungles :V after that there is a large amount of asian influence, mostly from southeast asia (specifically the philippines) and from japan. i grew up watching the anime my dad watched as a kid and eating lumpia..............................................
the culture is... culture and it is much more complex and while i do research more on it i also mostly go off of what i know. im a mestisu (more usage of spanish words!!!) which means a mixed chamorro person. i dont see my chamorro family often bc most of them live in arizona but when i do see at least local family it is usually for parties. chamorro parties are Bigg. mostly it involves a large amount of food and a large amount of people and a large amount of music. mostly its traditional foods like kelaguen tatiyas latiya riyenu kadon and ive seen gollai hagun suni though ive never touched because i dont trust like that. oh also spam. theres a lot of spam. so much spam. spam and rice. spam sushi. spushi. and raw fish
theres more details but like how can i get into that all. i should mention my hair (and the way i depict jon tmas) is tradishunal or at least something my chamorro family does so thats sexy. oh also gay and trans people were seen as epicc in precolonial culture so i think that makes us ultra sexy.
thank u for coming 2 this crash course™
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
notbellaswan
UNTOLD
awesometoobouquetperson
Untitled
darktriad1-blog
untitled | 12.25.2018.
cyberwinelover
VIA Wines_JC
reasonswerhyme
i see poetry in your eyes