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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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This is probably a really rash decision but I'm deleting this account, I'm finding that because I know he might be reading it I've been mostly writing to one person in particular.

I don't like it and frankly, I don't want him to see my stuff anymore so click the link to message me if you want the new address (that's my main blog), if not, that's cool, thanks for following & reading my stuff(:

#I'm gonna go watch New Girl & eat cookie dough now #ok bye

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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12:49

Get out

Get out of my head

Get out of my heart

I'm so freaking tired of finally being happy with where I am

and then with just one line,

one look

one thought of you

I'm back to feeling like complete crap.

It felt good to finally let someone in but

I absolutely hate that I gave you the power to hurt me

.

I'm so done with this now.

I don't want it anymore.

So just take it all back and get out

#i cant do this anymore #poetry #spilled ink #spilled thoughts

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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12:12

I missed 11:11 again

but that doesn't really matter

because I make the same wish every time

and it still hasn't come true.

I guess I should stop counting my lucky stars

and wasting them on you

#poetry #prose poetry #spilled ink poems #spilled ink poetry #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled thoughts #TUMBLR POETRY #tumblr poets #poem #Poem a Week #writers blog #poetry blog

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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12:45

I should've known better.

How could I have ever thought that today would be any different from all the times I've tried to reach out to you before? How could I have thought that 6 months without any contact with me would make you miss me more? Or make you magically care more?

I had thought I was finally living in reality but when it comes to you I'm stuck in fairy-tale land. Why can't I shake this? I know, I know for a fact that I care so much more than you do. I know for a fact that nothing I do will make you love me the way I deserve to be loved. I know for a fact that 9 out of 10 times you will disappoint me, and yet I still can't help putting my faith in you.

One day you're gonna burn through the little bit of hope I have left for us, and I can't believe I let you do that to me again.

I can't believe I let you make me cry.

I promised myself I wouldn't let you do that to me again

But <shocker> another promise broken

And you'd know all about breaking promises, wouldn't you?

#prose #quick lit #quick fic #micro fiction #afterlifepress #alt lit #fic lit #fiction #tumblr writers #tumblr writing community #writers blog #Writers Corner #lit #spilled ink #spilled prose #spilled words #spilled writing #spilled thoughts

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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I wrote you a letter but I’m debating on whether or not I should give it to you. On the one hand, it spells out everything I’ve ever felt for you as clearly as I could translate the emotions in my heart to comprehensible words from my brain. On the other hand, my hand writing is terrible and I’m not altogether sure if I gave it to you that you could actually read it.

I thought about just telling you what it said today when you were sitting next to me and my heart didn’t flutter like it did two days ago when we were in the exact same place doing the exact same things. It’s crazy that my heart and my head were so silent when less than 12 hours before they were both obsessing over you. Thoughts of you tumbled over one another, competing for space in an elevator already filled to capacity with very pregnant memories of you.

And now, while that elevator may seem vacated, ghosts of you haunt the empty corners shouting at me in my peripheral vision that I know I still love you. But you know what? If I stare straight ahead I can almost pretend that they’re not even there.

So I’ll just hold my head high and watch the numbers go up, because that’s where I’m headed: up. And I’m sorry but there’s no sense in going back or going down when I’m finally here.

[And you have no idea how hard it was.]

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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Poof

I'm harboring a secret,

keeping it hostage from the world

in the hopes that maybe,

if I'm lucky,

somehow it'll just disappear.

Poof!

Like my dad when I was 7 years old

and love was no longer enough to keep him here.

Forgive me, I had thought it was love but he has proven me wrong;

For him it was merely convenience.

Poof!

Like my worries and fears

when you look at me with those eyes that say

"I fell in love with you because of your strengths

but I love you even more for your weaknesses."

and I feel like imperfection isn't such a bad state to be in after all

Poof!

Like my brother's sickness

when the rest of us decided to go to the movies

after returning home from a long day of school

he didn't have to endure

Poof!

Like the facts about the solar system that I learned

in an astronomy class I barely passed, for example

the numerical distance from the earth to the moon

or the approximate speed of light.

.

But that's exactly why I hate secrets

because where everything else will vanish easily;

make their silent retreat until they evaporate into nothing

secrets explode like supernovas

Bright, and oddly beautiful from a distance

but scathingly dangerous up close.

And the materials they leave behind

linger to haunt you

or otherwise

they become black holes

that slowly suck your life away.

.

I hate secrets

but I guess for this there is no easy fix

and "poof" is just a mirage in the distance

that only I can see.

#spilled ink #spilled words #Writers Corner #writers blog #poets blog #poets tavern #tumblr poets #TUMBLR POETRY #poem a day #poetry #poem a week #spilled thoushts #spilled ink poetry #afterlifepress #Quick fic #quick lit #fic talk #rejectscorner #secrets

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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Green Means Go

If all we do is

talk talk talk

how is anything ever going to get done?

Change cannot just be a wish upon a star,

it cannot be a hope

held only in your deepest heart of hearts

and nothing else.

Get off of your couch,

get off the freaking computer.

Stop blabbering on and on

about what needs to be changed

right before you do absolutely nothing about it.

Recognizing that there are problems

does not excuse your sense of entitlement,

it does not satisfy the imaginary quota of

"good"

that you've dreamed up to justify your laziness.

I'm tired of your crap America.

Be who you are, if you must

but don't call it something else.

I know that we are a land of ideals,

built on dreams and the kind of naivety

that is commendable but altogether lacking any substantial use.

What have we become?

We are more than politics,

more than what we wear

or how much we don't wear,

more than a number on a scale,

and more than who we choose to love.

We may have started out as naive dreamers

but that was over 3 centuries ago,

why have we not changed?

Why have we not grown?

As the saying goes,

the light has been green for so long

so why are we still waiting at the stoplight?

Green means go.

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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Max

You kept saying

"I hope you find what you're looking for"

like you weren't already everything I'd ever wanted

and worse

"I just want you to be happy"

when you've always made me ridiculously happy,

and sure

you made me feel a bunch of other emotions too

but that's what living is; feeling things, being

and I felt most alive when I was with you.

Seeing how good you were to me made me realize that

there were people I was letting into my life

that didn't deserve to be there,

but you're different.

I want you in my life always,

maybe not in the way that we first thought

but in any way I can get.

I don't really know how to start this;

I want to give you space

and time

but I don't know how to do that without either

smothering you or

making it seem like I don't care.

So you set the tempo,

take the lead and I'll follow.

Know that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you

if you really needed me to do it.

You're not an idiot.

You're beautiful.

I love you

.

It doesn't feel like a lie anymore

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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12:40

i hate when i can't go to sleep

but i don't wanna do anything except cry

and wallow in this depressed funk

that hits me out of nowhere

and makes me want to disappear.

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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Let Your Love Run Wild

Someone in my songwriting class wrote this beautiful first verse and chorus and I absolutely love it and I just had to share it with youu

Love may seem like a gimmick

To a young, aspiring cynic

As the world revolves, perspectives do the same

What once seemed dead or trifled

Ends up rising in revival

And when love runs wild you're not beguiled

And still you're never tamed

.

Let your love run wild

Never chained and never leashed

Let it go beyond control

That's the beauty of the beast

As a dreamer on the run

Having never been defiled

Let your love run wild

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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http://life--aswe-knowit.tumblr.com/post/57541256106

Posts like this make me so angry! Not all girls are like this, but yeah, there are some out there and guys I get it! Honestly, I do, after all I am a girl too, but if you do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but WAIT and tumble and find posts like this one and think that you don't need to change because there are 7,754 other girls out there that feel the exact same way you do, then you will go through life alone. Either that, or you'll settle for some guy who is not even worth 1/10th of your time.

I know girls like this, girls who say "Oh he wasn't in school today! It's probably because I talked to him yesterday and now he's avoiding me" Listen, fear is an imaginary disease and we are the hypochondriacs who are convinced we have it. It is, in fact, the worst kind of disease because we are the ones who create it and we are the ones who cause is to spread and grow but I am telling you, he won't think you're needy or clingy because you overcome your fears and talk to him.

Just go for it! Seriously, Go. For. It. The first thing someone thinks when you make an effort to converse with them is not "Wow she's so needy" but "Wow, she gives a flip"

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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Dream-catcher

If I never had a nightmare again

I don’t think dreaming would be the same.

It’s nice to have surprises,

To know that I have fears.

But I like to let them get to me

In the form of a single, solitary nightmare

And when I encounter them in my waking state

I destroy them

And walk away,

knowing I’ve already braved the worst

because things are never as horrible

as we imagine them to be.

#spilled thoughts #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled writing #alt lit #fic lit #fiction #spilled ink poetry #afterlifepress #quick lit #micro fiction #poetry #poem a day #poem about life #poem a week #TUMBLR POETRY #tumblr poets #poets tavern #poetry blog

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

Photo

#visual poetry #love #poetry #TUMBLR POETRY #simple but lovely

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

Conversation

Bad thing about a writer's mind

6am: Oh what a wonderful dream to wake up from. Now I'll give you five story ideas.

1am: You're tired? Well I'm sorry but I must keep these ideas coming until it's almost 4am and you're dozing off on your computer/notebook.

Shower: I know how you can solve this plot hole.... with this scene.

In a store: That person over there looks like OC... oh! This gives me an idea! Who cares if you have nothing to write it down with.

At a party: Wow... here's a great way to word that scene you can't get down. Too bad in five minutes you won't remember much more than two sentences. From different paragraphs.

Timed test: You know what would be great? Instead of this happening, this happens and I am so glad this brilliant idea makes you want to write and not focus on this geometry question!

While writing at a decent time: Yeah, I got nothing.

#everydaytruth #seriously #why brain #??#writers #tumblr writers #truther #authors #written word

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

Quote

Shadows fill an empty heart as love is fading. All the things that we are and are not saying.

Daughtry

What About Now

Daughtry

#daughtry #what about now #song #music #lyrics #love #tunes #american idol #chris daughtry

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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I’ll buy that Ugly sweater Even though I know It’s hideous. I don’t want it To go unsold; We’ll keep each other from Getting cold.

#love #the written word #words are beautiful #thebuonanno

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velvetandvinegar · 11 years

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On Defining Worth and Finding It

He looked up hoping to find his own patch of sky, to make up for his failure to find his own plot of earth. He thought, maybe, in this way he could prove that he was good enough. It might have worked except that he was finding that it hard to prove your worth when even you are not sure of its existence. But how does one determine worth?

Is it in size? Because in that case he wasn’t worth much, just a small sack of bones topped with a mess of sandy hair and assembled with a glue of determination.

Is it in looks? He was in that awkward stage between boyhood and manhood; a decent sized head that would continue to be described as too big for his body until the latter decided to catch up, arms slightly longer than his torso and spindly legs that his aunt often verbally wondered how such little "twigs" could support anything let alone a growing boy.

Is it in brains? Or maybe brawn? Both of which, he was lacking but he thought with time he could work up to having both. If that was the case though, did that mean at this present point in time he was worthless?

And which would be better? Having no worth but owning all the potential to be priceless or existing with a pre-determined amount of worth and having to explore to find out exactly how much?

Or maybe the answer is as simple as one four letter word: love. Maybe love determines your worth, but whose love? Your family’s? Friends’? Or your own?

The latter, he decided. He refused to give others the authority to determine his worth for him. He would learn to love himself. He nodded definitively. He liked this plan, because this way no one would ever have the power to call him worthless again. Not unless he let them, and he wouldn't.

He smiled, he didn’t need a patch of sky or a plot of earth after all.

#prose #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spilled writing #spilled ink prose #fic talk #micro fiction #quick lit #alt lit #fiction #afterlifepress #rejectscorner #writers blog #Writers Corner #tumblr writing community #tumblr writers

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