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thoughts-and-other-thoughts · 7 months

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finding solace

sirius black x son reader

description: sirius and his son havent had much time to catch up, but it seems he and harry have already bonded as father-son. you feel neglected and sirius realizes he's been neglecting you as a father.

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was bustling with activity. Harry Potter and Sirius Black were engrossed in conversation, catching up with each other since Sirius's return from Azkaban. While this was happening, you watched from a corner of the dimly lit room. Lately, it seemed like Harry was the only person his father had time for. It had been two years since your father's return, and you hadn't been able to talk to him much at all. You couldn't help but feel neglected, and it was beginning to weigh on you.

One night, after everyone had gone to bed, you found yourself alone in the living room. You couldn't hold back his tears any longer, you were thinking too much about everything with your father and were filled with self-doubt. Remus noticed you while passing by the room. And he cleared his throat to make his presence known. He walked over to the couch next to yours.

"May I sit here, Y/n?" Remus asked gently.

You wiped your tears away hastily before answering. "Sure, Remus."

Remus sat down. "What's bothering you, Y/n?"

Leo hesitated for a moment before opening up. "It's just... it seems like my dad only cares about Harry. I've never even really talked to him before, and I can't help but wonder if I'm not good enough for him to pay attention to. I've never really had a father, he's been in Azkaban, and in the orphanage, you don't find parents." You laughed a bit at how that sounded. You hadn't intended to say so much but once your mouth opened you couldn't stop yourself, and your tears seemed to be flowing with no bounds.

Remus put a comforting arm around your shoulders, bringing you close. "I understand why you feel that way, but your father cares about you deeply. Sometimes he gets so caught up in protecting Harry that he forgets to show it. Still, that doesn't make it right, I'll talk to him about it, okay?"

You nodded, grateful for Remus's understanding and now reassured that he would talk to Sirius.

The next day, after a particularly tense Order meeting, Remus found an opportunity to speak with Sirius regarding your feelings.

"Sirius," Remus began with a stern tone, "I want to talk to you. Do you realize how much time you've been spending with Harry in comparison to Y/n? If you haven't, then you should know that Y/n's been feeling pretty neglected, and he's not wrong for it. You need to change something."

Sirius's expression shifted from concern to guilt. "I didn't even realize. I've been so focused on Harry and the Order..."

Remus put a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "I know, but Y/n needs you too. He's your son, and he deserves your attention." Remus understood to some point how Sirius was feeling, he was the one who had gone through Azkaban and he could tell his mind was still a bit scattered.

Later that evening after dinner, Sirius sought you out and found you in the kitchen, sitting at the dining table. Your expression showed that you were still feeling down.

"Y/n, can we talk?" Sirius asked gently, and you nodded, "I'm so sorry for not being there for you as much as I should have been. I've been absent and I'm sorry for not making as much of an effort to be here now. I'm honestly still sort of messed up, but I'm not going to let that excuse anything, and I promise from here onward I will make more of an effort to be present."

You looked up, surprised and relieved. "Really, Dad?"

Sirius nodded, a deep sense of guilt in his eyes. "Absolutely. We'll do things together, just the two of us, like we should have all along. I don't want you to feel neglected when you have me."

He wrapped an arm around you and you leaned into his touch, taking in his musk scent, and it felt like the rift that had formed between the two of you was beginning to slowly heal.

#sirius black #marauders #remus lupin #harry potter #sirius black x reader #sirius black x son reader #sirius black x son #sirius black son #fanfiction

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thoughts-and-other-thoughts · 7 months

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concept: severus snape with a child

i had a thought, what if severus snape had a child.

i can't really picture snape ever settling down with someone and starting a family in a war/canon-compliant timeline. but if he did have a child, i would imagine it being the result of a drunken one-night stand with a muggle woman. i think he would also have had to have some personal development away from the wizarding world for that event to occur.

imagine after the war, severus has sort of let himself go in a lot of aspects, it's hard to get a job and his group of friends (pureblood slytherins) have all sort of distanced themselves from severus. or are sort of leading him on that they'll get him in touch with someone to get a job or join the dark lord, as many of them have joined or allied themselves with. but they never really get back to him, and snape sort of gets the hint and distances himself too and realizes that maybe this is for the better. this isolation may lead to deeper self-reflection and getting some muggle job and getting himself by.

around this same time, i like to think that his mother, eileen, is struggling with dementia in a nursing home. his father would have already passed away during snape's school years. eileen is constantly seeing either snapes father, tobias, when he was young in snape or is in shock that her little sev is so grown up due to her strained memory which is only getting worse. i think this also would lead to a change in severus and sort of a maturing and realizing that he needs to get his life together because he's getting older and his parents are dying off.

so about for a year (he would be about 18 years old now), he works really hard, changes a lot as a person in terms of his views and values. he starts trying to find potential for life outside of the muggle world. and then one day he finally decides to go to a bar and have a good time with a few work buddies, and after a few nights out like this, one day he meets someone. he sees a pretty woman, who in my mind looks significantly different from lily (because this is my headcanon and in this his mind diverts from a lot of things associated with his school years, and lily is one of them. he also matures in the sense that he realises he has zero chance with lily and comes to terms with the fact she has married james, and perhaps with time he also lets go of his hate for james but i think that would take longer). anyways, back to the woman that snape finds really beautiful. in my mind she is a pretty korean woman names young-hee and she is a few years older than snape. snape is usually pretty introverted by this point but he is a bit drunk and with hype from his buddies he decides to approach her and asks to buy her a drink. despite expecting rejection, she allows him to and they immediately hit it off.

the two talk all night and then head to snapes apartment where they do hanky panky. and in the morning they have a pretty intimate moment and then young-hee leaves. only issue is that snape doesn't hear from her for about two months until one day he gets a knock at the door pretty early in the morning and it's young-hee. she tells him she's pregnant and that she's keeping it (mostly due to pressure from family), snape is very conflicted but almost leaves young-hee to raise the child on her own but as part of his character growth he decides he will stay and be a better father than his own (because his not very good relationship with his father). he does his best to help support young-hee and their child, with help from her side of the family as well, and it is very clear they don't approve of snape. but snape still wants to be there for them. snape is just 19 when this child is born and after a few months of raising this child, young-hee decides to talk with snape.

minor detail: child is a girl (though i do have a timeline for if it a boy, slightly different but might make a post about that too) and her name is eileen after snape's mother

in this talk she basically tells him that she has no interest in raising the child and asks his thoughts on putting the child for adoption. snape is very against it even if admits raising the child has been hard, and then young-hee drops the bomb that she wants to give up her parental rights and leave the child to him. she later moves to america with a different boyfriend.

snape is now a single father of his daughter and raising her has become very difficult. this is when a lot of his character development happens, he has to deal with things like changing diapers, making meals, cleaning, learning to have patience, taking care of a little girl in general. he has to grow because now he is responsible for a life other than his own. and when he is about 21, snapes mother dies. despite his grief, he still has to persevere and keep going and this makes him stronger than he was before. this is also right about the time the war ends and the potters die but in this special timeline i would rather have the potters alive so by some miracle they are alive but harry is still the chosen one. (i am aware that this isn't really possible but too bad it's my headcanon) and right as the war ends, jobs are easier to get in the wizarding world, so snape, seeking a better life for himself and his daughter, applies to hogwarts for it's defense against the dark arts post and a couple other places which won't really be relevant. he gets a job at hogwarts but as the potions professorr.

snape is a smart man and picks up the job pretty quickly and is a pretty good professor, still strict but not plain cruel as he is in the books. also less creepy vibes and a bit more understanding. he would still be pretty stern though. no more drawling voice and talking with his mouth half closed though, when he talks he talks like a regular person. his clothing also changes a bit and he tends to wear a wider variety of robes instead of just the dramatic billowing black robes. he instead opts for just regular suits like the other professors but in colors like black, grey, and other darker grey-tone colors. his hair would also be a bit more well-maintained, not as greasy and rough. probably cut shorter as well.

this job pretty much turns snape's life around, and now he has a stable source of income, can provide more for his daughter and can ensure her a better life. they no longer live on rent in the apartment and can instead buy a small house for the two of them. i can imagine this home because a comfortable size, about three bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, a nice living room with a good amount of windows, all one story, and just generally nice and cozy. i also think snape would send eileen to muggle school till she is old enough to go to hogwarts because he values her education. life becomes very stable for the two od them.

then eileen turns 11 and she will attend hogwarts. i think that even though snape was in slytherin and his head of slytherin house, she would be a ravenclaw. i can see the sorting hat considering putting her in slytherin but she is generally a pretty creative and curious person and that outweighs any slytherin traits she has. her curious and creative nature is definitely embedded into her by snape, making her also prioritize her education and learning, and since she was raised by a professor, it's not shocking to think that she might have a thirst for knowledge. also to give an idea of her age, she is about two years older than harry potter, and the same age as the weasley twins.

she wouldnt be very close with harry during her school years either, and would know each other through quidditch. in this timeline, eileen plays quidditch. at first i think she would have just tried out because her friend, roger davies, did too. but they both ended up getting on the team and she realized how much she genuinely enjoyed the sport. in her second year she gets placed as a seeker but is replaced by cho chang the year after (cho is a year younger than her) and is then a beater. this is also how think she would become friends with cho chang, but this is my headcanon so cho chang is going be katherine chang because i like that for her and think the name katherine suits her.

snape would definitely support her in quidditch, even though it's funny that he's supporting a ravenclaw despite being head of slytherin house. his support wouldn't really be wearing ravenclaw colors or anything but more wishing her good luck, giving her feedback after games, and just other gestures like that. this is also something i want to emphasize, how snape shows his care as a father and just how different he is from canon because of all these events and how they've developed his character.

he would still be a pretty quiet at home with just eileen but not awkwardly or in a way that makes him seem cold. just more of in a calm way, they can still have conversations where they laugh and talk but they're just more calm and very understanding. they can be loud, usually more from eileen's side because she is def more extroverted than snape. snape would still listen and smile. he would definitely smile more in this timeline and even laugh. he would just generally be more happy and open because of eileen. he would also be a bit more okay with physical affection like hugs and kisses (on the cheek and forehead wtv) because of eileen (he raised a child ofc he's more open ab things). i also like to think of little cute things that probably happened when eileen was younger, like snape trying to tie eileen's hair and wtv.

also romance-wise wise i want to pair her with fred weasley because i love the "professor's daughter x the kid the professor hates" trope. and think it could be very cute and funny since i think snape would be a very protective of eileen and fred just tripping on his feet around snape after he starts dating eileen is just hilarious to me. also in this timeline, george is the one who asked angelina to the yule ball not fred, which also works better with their canonical marriage. i also have a very nice ending planned for fred and eileen heehee.

another detail: eileen is infertile and suffers with endometriosis. she has very painful periods and they've only gotten worse as she got older. (even if she got her period kind of late at like 15) sometimes it's so bad she has a hard time getting up, and literally just cries. and she also struggles with the fact she is infertile. and in my mind there are a lot of scenarios where snape really supports eileen through these things and takes care of her

and then now we can get to her meeting the potters (and remus and sirius, peter has still betrayed them) at an order meeting. this is the order meeting from the beginning of the order of the phoenix. eileen isn't allowed to be inside and hence sort of sticks with the other kids. this is where the potters will briefly meet eileen. snape wants to leave shortly after the meeting ends but gets caught up talking to some other members and eileen wants to talk to people from her school a bit and gets caught up talking to tonks. and then eileen finishes up her conversation with tonks and starts talking to harry a bit, until both harry's parents and eileen's dad, snape come over to tell them it's time to leave. snape has to talk to james a bit and they talk to eileen a bit too, just small talk. by this point though, james and severus are civil with each other, both being adults who've matured and changed. and are able to be polite and have a small chat.

minor detail: the marauders (except peter) have bumped into snape before when they were in their early 20s and have seen snape struggle with raising eileen in public and so they've all gained some sense of empathy for him, especially james since he also had harry pretty young and in that he gains some kind of respect for severus since he raised a child by himself earlier than him. and meeting eileen just multiplies that respect seeing that he's raised a good kid and has progressed in life greatly. so that at least lessens the hate from james' end.

anyways fast forward a bit, this is eileens 7th year and umbridge is around and war 2 tensions are back. when harry starts dumbledore's army i can imagine him approaching eileen due to their now established "friendship" from meeting at the order meeting. and he talks to her about this dumbledore's army idea and asks for some help with content to learn since she's very smart and tutors people, and is older so she of course knows a good deal more than him. and she is very open to this idea and agrees to help him. this is her last peaceful year though btw.

in this timeline i dont think snape would be a double agent or kill dumbledore, mostly because it wouldn't really add up with his character now. and also because of his daughter's blood status being like 75% muggle. dumbledore would just end up being killed by a different death eater (draco or a different one). snape would also leave his job and start working as just an order member due to his and eileen's being threatened multiple times while he was a professor due to his old ties from school and death eaters trying to recruit.

somewhere after eileen has graduated and become an order member and before the battle of hogwarts, eileen has to go on a mission where she loses her eye and snape almost dies but is saved by eileen. this is a big change in their character due to eileen's now realization of how real this war is and snape's new perception of eileen and her strength. there are other missions as well of course but this is just one i wanted to mention.

so now we're at the battle of hogwarts. just to make it clear, the marauders are all still alive by this point, other than peter. during the battle most of the regular casualties still happen, remus does die. fred dies. but since snape is no longer a double agent, he does not die. however, eileen does die.

post-war, snape eventually retires from teaching and lets go of his heath due to his grief and eventually dies about fifteen years later at the age of about sixty five.

anyways so that's just a whole storyline I've made up, this gives snape a redemption arc and I've added an oc.

also dni if youre going to leave hate, I'm open to discussion though.

#severus snape #harry potter #harry james potter #fred weasley #james potter #sirius black #peterpettigrew #remus lupin #snape #creative writing #headcanon #marauders #marauders headcanon #snape headcanon #severus snape head canon #lily evans #lily potter #professor snape

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