#youre a perfectly normal guy and you do your thing you really dont need to worry about it
Text
are you like me too? / kwon soonyoung
⇢ Soonyoung x fem!Reader
⇢ word count: 1.1k
⇢ angst // breakup(??)!au // comfort?
⇢ A/N: i wrote this in like, 30 minutes bc i was watching the epik high and hosh's performance in akmu's show and got a random burst of writing juice so. enjoy? i'm obsessed w the song and this particular part btw so it's definitely inspired by that. as always not proofread but do enjoy somehow lol
요즘 뭘 먹고 마시고 어떤 행복을 찾는지
what are you eating and drinking these days? what kid of happiness are you looking for?
epik high ft. hoshi - screen time
[ - - - ]
Soonyoung has never felt so stupid.
But, then again, being drunk and regretful at the same time is an obvious recipe for disaster.
He doesn’t even usually get drunk, as he’s often already passed out before he gets to that point. But there’s something about tonight that compels him to keep on throwing back drinks over drinks even though Jihoon is already looking at him in worry and Chaeyoung is trying to stop him from getting more.
But of course, drunk Kwon Soonyoung is even more hard headed than normal Kwon Soonyoung and Jihoon eventually tells the younger girl to just stop trying because perhaps the guy needs it.
After all, Jihoon knows Soonyoung has been regretting his decision to end… whatever it is he had with a certain someone and he hasn’t had the chance to properly throw himself a pity party that it’s probably been eating him inside out for the past week.
“Why the fuck did I…” He mutters to himself, not even caring that two of his friends are there worried out of their minds. He eventually kicks them out an hour later because he can only handle so much pity being thrown his way in his own fucking house.
He’s pitiful–pathetic, he knows, but it doesn’t make things any better and he does need this to (hopefully) make peace with whatever stupid decision he made last week to end things with you.
You’re not even his girlfriend–and whose fault is that?–he swallows another shot bitterly. And yet suddenly not having you any longer feels more painful than the last time he broke up with his ex-girlfriend.
Is it simply the alcohol, bubbling thoughts into his mind? Amplifying the pains even though it’s not really all that?
He glares at his phone, silent with nonexistent notifications from you. And then he looks at the mirror and glare at himself for pushing himself into such a situation.
Why did he think it was a good call to cut you off his life when it was him who talked to you first, asked for your number, begged you for a chance to go on dates, and now grovelling in his own room because he told you that he thinks it’s better to stop seeing each other when you’re not even yet in a relationship.
What was there to end, really?
A possibility, perhaps.
Love that was possibly growing in your heart that he cruelly plucked when it hadn’t even bloomed.
Is that a good thing, then?
Would it hurt more for you if your feelings had grown deeper than what you currently harbour towards him?
He takes his phone and scrolls through your old texts once again. He can probably recite them in his sleep at this point, but he doesn’t care because he misses you and he wishes he still has you–your texts, your laughter, your touch, your voice–you.
🧡: look at this dumb dog lmaoooo
how can u call him dumb :(
hes cute u meanie :(
🧡: //youre/// dumb🙄🙄
🧡: you know i dont mean it like that 😠😠😠😠
🧡: how dare you make me a villain against dogs!!!!
He takes a deep breath as he plays the video you sent for the nth time, still having it in him to smile at your small dog trying to jump into the sofa even though you had laid out a perfectly new dog stairs right next to it.
He presses his lips together at the sound of your laughter in the background, probably the only way he’s still able to hear it now.
It’s only been a week. He knows it’s only been a fucking week. But he’s already wondering how you’re doing and who’s making you laugh, if you get to eat that dumpling that you’ve been wanting to try since last month, if you’re sending your dog videos to someone else now, if you’re still watching the drama that you were watching with him.
…If someone’s holding you because, maybe… and just maybe… you’re also as sad as he is.
He hopes you’re not though. He doesn’t wish this wrenching feeling in his chest upon you.
He hopes you don’t like him enough to be as sad as he is.
He hopes you don’t like him enough to drink yourself to sleep–to numb the pain and silence the voices inside your head.
Closing his eyes, he contemplates on calling you. But he remembers that it was him who rids himself of that choice.
“Hello?”
Fuck. He’s even imagining your voice now.
“Hello?” Your voice calls once again, and Soonyoung grips his phone tighter because it’s getting too real and perhaps it is time to stop drinking. “Soonyoung? Are you there? Are you okay?”
He jumps when he realises it’s actually you, panics when he realises he accidentally presses call when he’s too deep in his thoughts. For someone who contemplated on calling you just not too long ago, he’s suddenly hyper aware of the situation and no longer sure what to say.
He opens his mouth to say something, but a violent cough makes it out of his lips–enough for him to hit his chest because it feels like he’s about to vomit though there’s nothing in his throat.
He hears you panic from the other side, and as much as he wants to tell you not to worry and apologize, he couldn’t do it because his head is spinning and a part of him wants you to know that he’s hurting and he’s regretting.
You already hang up once he’s calmed down.
And it’s thirty minutes later someone knocks on his door, his eyes widening in shock when he finds you on the other side, seemingly running out of your place in a hurry because you simply have a jacket over your pajamas.
“Are you okay?” You look up in worry, your hand already busy trying to see his temperature. It’s when you realize that Soonyoung has been looking at you in silence that it finally hits you that you’re not supposed to do this.
That he… he breaks up with you before you even begin dating and you’re probably out of your fucking mind for thinking that you should rush to him the moment you think he might need help.
Mistaking his silence as resentment, you quickly retract your hand and apologize. But before you can even turn away, Soonyoung pulls you into his place and closes the door and then wraps his arms around you.
You can’t even begin to comprehend what’s happening, but when you feel his body shaking and hear him trying to hide his tears on your shoulder, you decide it doesn’t matter.
For whatever reason, Soonyoung is hurting.
Whether he’s hurting because of you or some other reason, he’s hurting and he’s looking for comfort in you if the way he holds you so tight that it hurts a little and the smell of alcohol on him says anything.
You hug him back and Soonyoung cries harder.
[ - - - ]
©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.
A/N: wow been so long since i wrote for him???
#soonyoung drabble#soonyoung scenarios#seventeen angst#seventeen au#seventeen scenarios#khione.fics#hoshi angst#hoshi scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenario#soonyoung angst#seventeen oneshot#hoshi oneshot
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Girl, My Everything, My World
Charles Leclerc x Reader
Summary: Charles loved nothing more than watching on stage. Especially when your tour is lined up with a race. Even though he had to bite his lip when the guys tried flirting with you.
Requested by anon: Sorry to bother you and i dont know if you have requests but i would love to see a fic where reader is really famous and all of the drivers are fans and some of them thinks charles has a crush on her so they tease him all the to just to find out she has been dating charles for a year. Maybe they knew about the secret girlfriend but they didnt know it was her. And maybe some of the drivers tried to flirt with her or sent messeges to her trough interviews and its really awkward or cute after they find out
Requested by anon: Would you be interested in writing a jealousy themed fic like an interviewer is ignoring the reader and flirting with charles or maybe a fan doing this and reader gets idk possesive? But not toxic or maybe she gets sad Orrr it could be the reader who the stranger flirts with and charles gets emotional?? Mad? Sad?
A/N: here’s hoping for P1 this weekend in Monza 🏎❤️ google translate has been used
If someone could describe your mood right now it would be like a child on Christmas Eve. You couldn’t sit still and it wasn’t due to the coffee you were sipping. It was all to do with the fact your tour schedule lined up perfectly with the Italian Grand Prix meaning after a month of being on the road you would finally get to see your boyfriend.
As your driver pulled up to the track, butterflies danced in your stomach, you were so close to seeing Charles. Pulling your phone out you scrolled through your contacts until you landed on his name, hitting call and pulling the phone to your ear.
Within a couple of rings he picked up and from the background noise you knew he was in the paddock.
“Guess what?” You grinned, staring out the window itching to get out the car.
“What’s that baby?” He hummed, his tone was playful and you could practically hear him smirking.
“We’ve just pulled up.” You giggled, holding the phone against your ear with your shoulder as you gathered all the things you needed, along with the most important, the grid passes. “It might be a while before we reach you though I have a feeling that I’m going to get surrounded.”
“Everyone loves you, that’s why.” He chuckled. “Just ignore any comments, okay.”
“I always do,” you smiled, as you climbed out of the car. Flashing the camera a bright smile and waving at the fans. “I love you.”
“I love you too, babygirl.”
Before the line went dead you heard Carlos teasing Charles, they all knew he was seeing someone but didn’t know it was you. All of the guys were trying to get him to spill but nothing could get him to tell them, not yet anyway.
Over the year you had been showing your support to Ferrari and Charles mainly so you could wear his shirts without getting questioned about it. To the world you were a normal F1 fan but only yours and Charles’ family knew the truth.
You were gaining a lot of attention as you made your way to the security point, stopping for pictures with fans and signing autographs. As much as you loved this all you wanted to was be with your boy even if it was for a couple of stolen minutes out of sight of everyone. Your schedule for tonight was extremely tight. You were hanging around for qualifying then quickly disappearing for the last checks and the meet and greet for the show tonight but it was so worth it.
Once you were finally passed security you started wandering through the paddock, the flash of red quickly gaining your attention. Slowing your pace down you hovered around the interview stand.
“What do you guys think about Y/N Y/L/N being around the paddock and races this weekend?”
“I’ve always been a big fan of her music, I’ve been there since she released her first single.” Charles beamed, it wasn’t a lie he had been around since your career started, in fact the pair of you practically grew up together.
When you were ten years old your family moved to Monaco for your dad’s work and became friends with Charles’ parents but it was only the last year that you realised you both had feelings for each other.
“It seems there has been some old pictures emerging of your and Y/N.” The reporter asked Charles and you watched his smile grow.
“We grew up together and have been friends for years.” He grinned. “It’s nice to see her success.”
“Et elle est magnifique, je vais lui demander un rendez-vous (And she is gorgeous, I'm going to ask her on a date)” Pierre smirked.
“Dans tes rêves, shes putnof ta ligue (In your dreams, she's out of your league)” Charles laughed, patting his friend on the back.
“You are just saying that because you have a massive crush on her.” Pierre teased, “he wants her all to himself.”
Even if the world couldn’t see it, you could. That hint of jealousy in his eyes as his friends and other drivers mention them wanting to date you or trying to flirt with you. It was something you were working on with him because the comments slid off your back, you only had eyes for Charles and that would never change.
Catching eyes with Charles through the crowd you flashed him a wink before your manager told you that you needed to move on. Rolling your eyes you smirked at your boyfriend who was now being teased by Pierre.
“Remind me why you are dragging me away?” You asked, sipping your iced coffee.
“Because you need to keep up appearances.” She chuckled, planting her hand on your shoulders. “We can go see lover boy soon but for now you need to show your face around all the teams pits.”
“Fine,” you huffed, it was getting to the point where keeping your relationship was getting harder and harder. Gently you ran your fingers over your wrist smiling to yourself at the new tattoo that sat proudly against your skin. Charles didn’t know that you had gotten a new tattoo let alone of the number 16. It might be something small to anyone else but to you it meant the world.
“I promise you can spend some time with him before qualifying.” She smirked.
“What have you planned?”
“I was going to keep this a surprise but I may have set up something for the tour vlogs, Charles interviewing you. No one else in the room, just the two of you but you promise you have to get some content for the channel.” She beamed, knowing how much you missed your boyfriend.
“Have I told you that you are the fucking best.” You squealed, your smile growing brighter.
“Not recently no,” she laughed, pushing you through the crowd. “Now get a move on because everything is on a tight schedule.”
The moment you walked into the Ferrari motorhome your heart started to race, the air smelt like his aftershave. Louise pushed you into a room and you swore your heart stopped, the sight of him standing there with a single sunflower made you want to cry. He looked like a fucking ray of sunshine standing there in the middle of room, the yellow standing out against the red.
“You have an hour.” Louise said, raising her brow at you. “Don’t forget to film some content.”
“Merci, j'apprécie cela (Thank you, I appreciate this)” Charles said, flashing her a smile as she left the room.
As soon as you were safely alone you ran into his arms, thank god for his quick reaction times, in the space of you running the distance of the room he placed the sunflower on the table and caught you as you jumped into his arms wrapping your legs around his waist.
“Putain tu m'as tellement manqué (I missed you so fucking much.)” you breathed nuzzling your face into his neck, relishing in the feeling of being back in his arms.
“I missed you too, babygirl.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head as he slowly placed you on the ground. His lip pressing against yours in a loving kiss before he rested his forehead against yours. “Your French is also improving. I’m impressed.”
“I’ve been driving Lou mad,” you giggled, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s all I’ve been doing on the tour bus.”
“As much as I don’t want to film anything, let’s get it out of the way quickly so we can just cuddle.” He hummed, brushing his knuckles across your cheeks.
After 15 minutes you had filmed what you thought was enough content, Charles made it look like he turned the camera off but he wanted to keep filming so he had some cute footage for the idea he had planned.
Settling yourself between his legs you snuggled back into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he littered your skin with soft kisses.
“I’ve got a surprise for you.” You grinned, lifting your arm up showing him your wrist.
“Qu'est-ce que je regarde ma chérie? (What am I looking at sweetheart?)” he hummed before his voice trailed off and he wrapped his fingers around your wrist. “Is this real?”
“Yeah it’s real.” You giggled, as his fingers softly grazed the black ink on your wrist. “Our drummer wanted to stop to get a new tattoo and I thought why not.”
“God I love you so fucking much.” He breathed, nuzzling his nose into your hair, inhaling the smell of your shampoo. “It’s getting so hard not to scream it from the rooftops.”
“I know baby,” you said softly.
“I hate how everyone always flirts with you, especially the other drivers.” He sighed, his jealous side coming out. It wasn’t the first time you had to deal with this and it broke your heart at how it affected him.
“They can flirt with me all they want,” you whispered, linking your fingers with his. “But it’s your number I have permanently on my skin, you are the first person I call in the morning and the last person I call at night. You. Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc, not them. And nothing would ever change that.”
“I know I just worry.” He mumbled, causing you to adjust your position so you were facing him. “I worry that one day you will change your mind. And I don’t like how they look at you or how they flirt with you.”
“Now that will never happen.” You whispered, resting your hand on his cheek. “You are stuck with me until the end of time, I want to grow old with you and nobody else. I’ve seen the way your female fans look at you Mr,” you chuckled. “But it just makes this even more special knowing that you are mine. Tell you what, let's make a deal.” You smiled. “No matter what happens in tomorrow's race we go public, let the world know that I’m your girl. And if you win I think it will make that podium just the bit sweeter.”
“Deal.” He smiled, pulling you into a tight embrace.
The rest of the hour quickly flew by to both yours and Charles' dissatisfaction but you only had to hold out one more day and then you wouldn’t have to hide anything any more.
-
Charles swore his heart was going to burst with pride as he watched you on stage for the final night of your tour. He couldn’t hide his heart eyes right now but he didn’t care.
“Dude you are totally in love with her.”
“This crush is getting outta hand now.”
“Seriously it’s like he is a teenager again.”
Rolling his eyes at the comments that were being screamed around him, but he was too focused on you to respond.
“So this is a brand new single that will be released October 16th and it’s called the boy in red.” You grinned, locking eyes with Charles as you spoke into the microphone, winking at him before you strutted across the stage, picking up your acoustic guitar before you settled on the stool in the middle of the stage.
It was the first time Charles had heard this song but he recognised the melody, it was one you would play to him over FaceTime whilst you were on the road. Tears started to cloud his vision as he soaked up the lyrics, it basically told the story of the two of you, the highs, the lows, wins, losses, everything.
“He will always be my boy in red,” you sang passionately, letting your eyes flutter closed as you belted out the song. “From the first day I laid eyes on him, I knew he was something special.”
Charles watched from the crowd as you lost yourself in the song, a silent tear rolled down his cheek causing the guys to rip the shit out of him even more but he didn’t care all he cared about was spending tonight wrapped in your arms in his hotel room. Tomorrow the world would know that you were his girl and he was your boy in red.
-
The sun started to creep through the blinds in the hotel room, Charles was already awake and was watching you sleep peacefully on his chest. He couldn’t help himself as he snapped a picture of your arm draped around his waist with the “16” tattoo on show.
To some people it would probably be too soon for him to be thinking about popping the question but to him it was the obvious next move. He knew you were the one so why wait.
“Mmm what time is it?” You groaned, hiding your face in Charles’ chest.
It was little moments like this he cherished the most, you had never been a morning person and were so cute in your half sleep daze.
“6.45,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. “I will need to get up soon.”
“Can’t wait for the season to end so you don’t have to wake at the crack of dawn.” You hummed, lazily running your fingers over his skin.
“Well your tour is over so I want you here by my side for the rest of the season, I’ve missed you far too much to spend any more time apart.” He smiled, running his fingers through your hair.
“I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.” You mumbled feeling yourself drift back to sleep.
“I’ve set your alarms, so you have a couple more hours sleep.” he whispered, carefully lifting your arm off his body so he could slide out of bed. “Sleep well my angel.” He said softly, pressing a kiss against your temple. “Je t'aime”
His smile grew at your little mumble of the phase as you fell back asleep, soft snores escaping from your lips. Once again he snapped a photo before he disappeared into the bathroom to get a shower.
Whilst he was in the shower he figured out how he wanted to pop the big question, he wasn’t sure when he was going to do it but he needed to speak to your dad first. In some ways he wanted to keep tradition.
The hours flew by and before he knew it he was in the busy garage getting ready for today's race.
“So can’t believe how big your crush is on Y/N.” Carlos laughed, slapping his team mate on his back as they waited in the line for the coffee stand. “I mean what does your girl think about it? With her but have this massive crush on Y/N.”
“Urm,” Charles mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm. It was a question he was hoping would never get brought up because he had no idea how to answer it.
His lack of response was all Carlos needed, raising a brow at Charles with a smirk on his face, he didn’t push the questions which Charles was extremely happy about.
Feeling his phone buzz in his pocket he saw you had posted on your Instagram, yes he had notifications turned on your you. A proud smile appeared as he saw a collage of tour photos on your grid, quickly liking the post he clicked onto your story, flicking through the posts watching your bright smile light up his phone but it was the last post that made his heart explode. It was a simple mirror selfie of you wearing his Ferrari hoodie, all the fans knew you supported Charles mainly due to being childhood friends but it worked well because you could always steal his hoodies and t-shirts.
Race day! Let’s go ❤️🏎
Charles quickly turned his head from his phone when he heard the commotion that was happening not too far from the coffee stand.
“Y/N, what’s your predictions on the race.”
“What’s the plan now that the tour has ended?”
“Can you tell us who your latest single is about?”
“Go on a date with me.” Pierre shouted from behind Charles, making him sigh. He knew he didn’t mean any harm but he still didn’t like the way everyone tried to get with his girl.
Rolling his eyes he turned back to the barista, flashing them a smile.
“Désolé, puis-je également obtenir un café au lait glacé, avec deux doses supplémentaires et une sauce au caramel arrosée autour de la tasse et du sirop de caramel s'il vous plaît. (Sorry, can I also get an iced latte, with two extra shots and caramel sauce drizzled around the cup and caramel syrup please)” he asked softly, earning a questioning look from Carlos and Pierre. Rolling his eyes again at his friends. “Y/N coffee order.”
“Damn, this crush runs deep.” Pierre laughed. “You got it, bad man.”
“You seem to be forgetting she is my best friend, so of course I know her coffee order, it’s been the same since she was 16.” Charles laughed, turning his gaze to you.
He couldn’t wait until the end of the race, then the whole world would know you were his secret girlfriend.
“Whatever you say man.” Pierre smirked, giving Charles a fist bump before he disappeared.
-
Your heart was pounding against your chest as you watched the race, there had been a few too many close calls for your liking but Charles had a steady lead and he only had one lap left to go.
“Come on,” you said to yourself, keeping your eyes on the screen, not daring to blink because things could change in a split second.
You knew Charles had been having a tough time recently, many nights were spent with him venting to you over FaceTime so you knew how much this meant to him, especially here in Monza.
It was like time had come to a standstill as you stared at the monitor, but watching him out on the track doing his thing filled you with a sense of pride.
Within seconds everyone rushed over to the metal railing on the finish line, spinning on your heels you quickly joined them, recording the moment on your phone as tears rolled down your cheeks.
The sound of the commentator announcing the win sent chills down your spine.
He had fucking done it!
This was a big moment for both of you. Your legs moved on their own as you ran through the paddocks to where he would be pulling his car in, you were ready and waiting for him wanting to be the first person to be there when he got out the car.
The moment he was standing on the tarmac you locked eyes with each other, it was like it was just the two of you on the track. Sprinting towards him you leaped into his arms wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist as you locked into a passionate kiss causing everyone around you to fall silent.
Pulling away resting your forehead against his with a huge grin on your face, soaking in this moment, it would be one you never forgot.
“I’m so fucking proud of you.” You whispered against his lips. “I knew you could do it.”
Before he could respond you felt yourself being crushed in the massive group hug, you and Charles in the centre of it. This weekend had just been a rollercoaster with the tour finishing, Charles winning the Italian GP and letting the world know that you were together.
Looking out into the crowd you could see the sheepish looks of a few of the drivers who always tried flirting with you. You could see the pieces click on their mind as they realised why Charles always went on the defensive side.
Somehow you managed to pull your phone out whilst still being wrapped around Charles, snapping a picture of the two of you in the middle of the Ferrari group hug and another one of you two sharing a quick kiss in the middle of the group. This would be the photo that you used on your social media accounts.
Soon enough Charles was standing on that podium, tears streaming down his face as he held the trophy up in the air. You felt your phone buzzing in your pocket but you didn’t care. In this moment all that mattered was your boy in red, well today it was yellow.
Everything went by in blur and you felt yourself being dragged through the crowd and up to the podium. The moment you were close enough to Charles he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, you couldn’t help yourself as you took the trophy from his grip looking at it in awe. Charles pulled your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans, snapping a picture of you holding the trophy in the air and quickly sent it to himself.
He wasn’t letting you from his side so he dragged you into the cool down room, your body snuggled up against his as he posted the picture on Instagram.
It’s time the world knew, that’s my girl, my everything, my world 🌎❤️ Pour toujours et toujours babygirl (Forever and always babygirl)
#Charles Leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#f1#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one imagine
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.
my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).
other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.
the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.
it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.
fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.
i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!
once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.
there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.
respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.
the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.
genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.
(Previously)
All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.
So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.
That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.
And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.
Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.
#I can't respond to all of this without feeling like I'm going on for too long but rest assured that I enjoyed reading every bit <3#reor: respect anon#kink interactions#reorientation writing#reor: anon ask#ftm misgendering kink#ftm detransition kink#ftm breeding#ftm girl#reor: anon life story
76 notes
·
View notes
Note
Read over what was going on with anon asks and your posts, and tbh, if you are 16 and you are reaching this kind of critical thinking and actively trying to better yourself through meaningful debates and convos, you are doing god's fucking work from early. I couldn't even begin to form the kind of arguments you are articulating at your age in your posts, so fucking kudos.
I have a similar opinion of sexism being bad no matter the form it takes, patriarchy affects everyone because it imposes roles on everyone, not only women. Breaking those roles on all sides and genders should be the ultimate goal, not try to benefit from the system to become the oppressor.
In any case dude, good luck with the unavoidable influx of people who will misinterpret your posts. Also, your art is hella cool!
i think that alot of ppl just have a rlly hard time like, getting over the gut response to defend themselves when they recieve some kind of serious critisism, like, i think ppl understand on some level that sexism as a concept is stupid, but it can be hard to fully see all the nuances it takes and like, actually recognize it when its subtler
sexism is bad and when i point out that alot of you guys believe ideas that are like, really sexist then thats like, im assuming none of you are like "YEAA SEXISM RUELZZZ!!!! I HATE PEOPLE BASED ON THIER GENDOR" and u rlly rlly dont wanna be lumped into that group
its rlly normal to not wanna be mischaracterized and if you dont self identify as sexist then when someone points out sexist retoric it feels like an unfair and reductive veiw of u
and its like, you really really really need to work past that, im talking abt this stuff because i want ppl to change and be better and if you want that for yourself u have to like rlly chew on these kinds of things
i think what alot of people have issues with is like, relatability in artwork, like "of course im gonna like art with queer women in it more and find it more valueble if im a queer woman" but i think that this points to a really rigid and uphelpful veiw of gender
ive discussed before that, because the mind numbing ammount of biological differences people have theres no actual objective definition of sex or gender, its socially constructed and entirely arbitrary and subjective
i think that labels for sexuality and gender are useful shorthand in our current society though ideally we wouldnt need them, but you need to remember that these things arent rigid
butch lesbian is not a definable group, gay man is not a definable group, they are arbitrary words that mean something different for literally every different person
likewise acting like those meaningless labels somehow make some artwork more or less valueble just points to a bias against people with a certain label
like, the labels dont mean anything they shouldnt change your veiw of a work, if you resonate with a peice of work why does it matter what label is put on it? why does that affect your veiw on the peice?
and yes you are objectively going to relate to some experiences more then others, but i dont think relatability should effect how you value the work, infact id argue seeing perspectives different then your own is incredibly incredibly valueble and, if your disregarding (even subconciously) certain things because theyre made by men then that not only hurts men but it hurts you, it isolates you
maybe i didnt word that perfectly im not always the most articulate but like, i think most of the issues people are having with this are coming from me articulating things maybe not as intuatively as i could or from people refusing to properly engadge with what i have to say
idk, regarding the people accusing me of transmysogeny i just wanna say that like, I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO TALKING TO YOU ABT THIS!! i want to be better and i dont want to be mysogenistic! and if you do see concerning behavior in me i want to be told of it, you keeping these kinds of things to yourself or refusing to engadge with me when i actively am trying to be like, thourough and nuanced about things is just kinda, not productive
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
@thetiredyuk i am having more Thoughts about that one - ranboo is the sone of death beeduo au. I was about to just send you an ask but also this is almost 2k words so it may be better off as a post lmfao
So like. bullet points time, this is an approximate summary of what i think the Plot would be like - wordbuilding aside
(Temporary mcd, suicide warning)
Year like, 1500 something (to be more well researched but i do want it to be like. something something renaissance. it works) we've got two poor ass kids born of the same year. Except tommy is pretty much a normal guy, liked by his family and such. His parents have enough children they can gamble for at least one to be successfull, so they send him to be a painter's apprentice in the hope he'll make some kind of money. There, in the slighter bigger town thats almost a city but not quite, he meets tubbo.
Now Tubbo would have been a normal guy, except he was born with facial deformities so now everyone thinks he's a demonic freak hated by the gods (this renaissance world is politheistic bc kristin needs to be there and also i wil not do christianity if i dont have to lmao.)
Tommy is not intimidated by any gods. obviously. also his dad is really into the goddess of death and he prays enough for both of them, so he's like. protected and shite. And he immidiately hits it off with the cursed boy
surprise hes not actually cursed but people are dicks anyways. Tommy makes him a fancy mask to cover his face - even thought its totally cool as shit, but its cool enough only tommy should ever get to see it - and that eventually does help him. Because tubbo wasnt like, a shit guy. Hes a damn good builder and knows how to read, which are talents big enough that the costruction workers for that church out of town are ready to ignore the whole probably cursed thing. As long as he as the masks.
Tommy: makes him the first genuine gift hes ever received in fifteen years of life
Tubbo: never takes it off again. like never
Tommy: shocked pikachu face
anyways so tommy dies like. super young. They have their fun for a few years but at like seventeen tommy is called to be the artist for this very fancy duke of the town over - and at the start they'r super happy bc that means Money and Food and Roof over your head and shite. its a very good fucking deal.
except the noble is a bastard. His town revolts against him, and when they storm the castle they aren't exactly asking names or faces: tommy gets immidiately like, super destroyed by the crowd, and dies a few minutes later.
Tubbo hears of this like five months later bc its the fifteen hunderds and hes poor.
He does Not take it very well ngl
He goes a bit murdery - basically hes like "im not living without tommy, might as well burn down a village while im at it right, right."
Now ranboo, in all of this, freshly the equivalent of seventeen for an immortal death being, is starting on their training to actually become death- His mom send him on a quaint little village in europe thinking "hey, the most those guys die of is like. malaria. consumption maybe. itll be easy as hell"
And now like two hundred different souls are around him with FIRE written on their foreheads and Ranboo feels distinctly outside of his range, to be really honest.
he steps a couple ethereak planes down just to see what the heck is the matter - if this is another of those voide beings his mom will be Super Pissed and they want to see that reaction
And it isnt the void people
Instead, in front of their eyes, the singular most beautiful person hes ever seen - and hes seen lots, in this line of work.
He cant see their face, but their actions speak enough. The sheer rage, the almost dance like movement of their body perfectly framed by the light of their torch, seeing no humanity or mercy in whatever their searching for. their hair look angelic in its softness, burnt by the worst flames of hell and yet tended by the same hands who wield it - strong hands, clearly forged by hard work and dedication. This is a guy who has nothing to lose, and there's little Death loves most than someone who doesnt fear it.
He has to go down, has to speak to them immidiately.
So he does.
There's really no time - his mom had given the singular rule not to interact with humans, shell be on them in Seconds- but one question can be asked in the haste: "What brings a mortal to do this?"
"It's all for you, love!" the mortal says. They also say some other things, after, but Ranboo is not very well versed in the human tongue and they are speaking Very Loudly.
(Tubbo actually said "Fuck you, you motherfucker it's Your Fault, you took every single thing i love". Easy mistake, if one thinks about it.)
Their mom is Pretty Pissed but she does undesrtand stupid things done for young love. So she's like "eh, ive loved mortals too. go have fun" and everything
Except a year passes, and ranboo still hasnt even spoken to the guy, and she remembers suddenly Mortality Exists.
Shes never had them take a soul who died naturally - for lack of occasion, mostly - and they may have been. a tad sheltered. They most definitely do Not know what death actually is like for humans, nor how long does it take for them to die
she wonders if it would be a tad overprotective to take this over for them
she thinks about seventy years in the future, at most, when the boy dies. She thinks that her son cannot cry but can definitely cry. she thinks of their screams of sadness ringing through her ears-
Tubbo wakes up in the river, alive.
He did not Intend to be alive, and it's actually quite unfortunate for him to be so.The survivors are quite angry and probably close to him, now. Welp, no way to die is reallt any worse than another, he thinks. Ill just wait here for them.
When the pitchfork collapses his heart and he continues breathing, he understands something might be a little bit wrong.
And like, a good five hundred years pass like this.
Things Tubbo has learned in his five hundred, twenty three and two halves years on this demon forsaken earth:
Clothes get so much shittier over time. he has One (1) tailored shit from the 1800 and Nothing has even barely compared to it ever since.
getting stabbed does not hurt less just because youre not actually dying. Poisoning is actiively way worse since you're not actually dying. Diving off cliffs is Not Fun. In general, try not to do dying things even if youre immortal
theres a hole in his heart where his loved ones were and it will never get filled
Food gets esponentially better over time. Lord bless whoever decided curry should go on chicken because they were Cooking For Real. Chocolate was still better before though.
Working for soulles bosses has not changed At All in all of this time tho.
he works at mcdonalds because no college would accept his non existant resume, and being immortal dosent deprive him of his needs unfortunately. The manager took one look at this kid dressed from like three different centuries with a goat mask on his head and was like. why not. at least youre not a stoner and you know how to read.
His coworkers firmly believe hes a criptid and have a full going investigation to prove it. The highest bet at fifty dollars says hes mothman in disguise, there to eat the fliest that live on their shitty food. The lowest bets hes an angel waiting for the right time to brign down armageddon.
Every night he goes in the woods to an almost forgotten Death altar and he prays. Half of his prayers consist of insults and the other half are pleas for her to fucking kill him already
This does not help the criptid chronicles
Kristin also has like. only so much patience. Hes holding up the prayers line - which is actually still pretty fucking used in central asia - and hes generally annoying as shit.
She takes ranboo by the scruff, gives them a passable human form, and throws them down there. Get your shit together boy youre like a thousand years old. Get your man (to stop fucking with the phoneline)
Ranboo is Not Enthusiastic about this but cmon. Hes death. How hard can working at a mac really be?
Spoiler it is
Spoiler it does Not matter, because awkwardness aside ranboo is funny, and easy to talk to, and compassionate and caring. He doesnt want to kill tubbo, he doesnt look at him like hes a fictional creature (and yes marcie, hes seen the bet table), he isnt his soulless boss. Tubbo is grieving but he also very desperstely wants a friend.
One day someone stops at his shitty apartment at like three am
Ranboo stands in fron of his door drenched from head to toe, holding the possibly smallest kitten tubbo has ever seen in his Life. Hes miserable but the cat is miracoulously dry, screaming their head off - and ranboo is panicking. Are they okay are they dying? Do you have any food i dont know what he eats but its so small and i didnt know where else to go- please i dont want it to die or something and-
The moon shines on their long, wet hair and their stupid fucking suit is as wrinkled as ever. They look like they desperately want to rub their hands against each other but there is a kitten in the way and it probably makes them even more anxious - theres very little messes bigger than him, right now.
Tubbo falls in love.
They heal the kitten and keep enderchest in their now shared apartment.
They grow closer, and closer, and something is forming. Ranboo is aware a relationship cannot be based on lies, as much as it worries him how tubbo will react.
so he prepares like a romantic ass evening
roses and candles and a nice dinner with a fancy wine
tubbo almost gets flustered
except at the end of the night the confession isnt "i love you" but "im the guy who took away your only ffamily".
and he sees Red.
Ranboo doesnt remember what tubbo screamed, not exactly. He remembers grief, and crying, and feeling worse than he ever believed he could. He remembers the endless guilt sitting in his chest, and the slam of a door - maybe from the inside out. Hes definitely outside, now, and the house ifìs far away enough eh cant see it, but that could also be the tears.
His mother finds him crouched in a patch of grass, tears steaming down their cheeks in a constant flow. Shes not aware if they'd returned to death form to feel safer, or because they believed they deserved the burn. Shes not sure what option makes her feel worse.
shes aware that this is. pretty much her fault
TO HER DEFENSE she was not really aware humans were so touchy about death. The souls she reaps arent very talkative and the guy shes with is chill about it so like. maybe this one is weird
(the guy she's with is Phil, whos Decidly not a human but has also decided not to tell her yet. For the bit, yknow? He's been a live a couple thousand years, it would be awkward to drop it now. He's also somewhat a serial killer and Not Normal about death At All)
BUt this is still here fault and she does have to set it right a little bit
So she summons Tubbo to her persnoal room in the palace and goes like. "oi. why r u so mad little guy"
And hes like: you took away the single person whos ever loved me ever
"Wait that's the only problem?"
"What the fuck else would it be"
"thought u were mad at him cause he lied lol"
"LYING IS NOT WORSE THAN KILLING A GUY"
Anyways Kristen is so relieved rn. She thought tubbo was phisically like, repulsed by the concept of death and all, and he was mad that Ranboo lied to him and all. Which he is, but the rage is so so much less than the grief yknoe. And she knows how to fix it if its just one (1) measly soul
Tommy is so fucking confused
Th modern world is full of sounds and weird textures and the food is fucking fantastic but also Too Much, and Tubbo introduced him to this weird ass potion hed called a bong and now hes seeing gods the likes of which had never been discoveres
Over all hes just happy to be alive and with his best friend
He kinda hates ranboo. The fucker threw a scyte at him for no reason when tommy would have Almost Certainly survived because he is simply That Cool. Ranboo didn't believe in his awesomeness enough and is thus a Bitch
Tubbo is. iffy
He cant deny he has a teensy tiny crush now, because hes far too deep in this for that
But also ranboo did like. lie straight to his face
but also tubbo would Not have believed him if a random guy showed up at three am at a mcdonalds saying they were the child of death
and he Did trust that what he saw in ranboo was real, betrayal aside. No one fakes looking That much like a wet cat
so it does take a while. couple years in fact, to get back at the level of trust they had before (inster a cool anime montage where they have lots of fun together as roommates and cats coparents and all)
One night when they are - not back together, because they hadnt been dating before, but back to that almost definitely dating just not officialized stage- ranboo asks him if would ever want to be mortal again.
And tubbo thinks of it. His time on earth had been so plagued by grief hed never really ecperienced anything it had to offer. Hed never seen the sights or did anything at all besides praying for death, and thats kind of a shitty way to pass five hundred years
'But tubbo what about your humanity? wouldnt it be irrevocabily lost by giving awau something so fundamentally human as death" someone would ask. And tubbo would anser "ehh who cares"
He hasnt been fully human since hes burned that whole village down, anyway. And he likes the benefits of this life more than whateer moral superiority a Normal human would have over him
just-
"and tommy too, obviously. I get the feeling you dont like him dead" Ranboo jokes.
There's no decision at all then. Fuck yeah, immortal boyfriend and immortal brother what more could a fucker want.
They get to cause chaos on earth and probably kill a bunch of rich people for a long long time
the end :)
Im like. very tentatively calling this Deathless Death, in the vane hope that i will write something for this better thant bullet points. But for now bullet points it is
#beeduo#cbeeduo#ctubbo#cranboo#ctommy#dsmp fanfiction#dsmp fanfic#this is the longest thing ive written in Months#plague writes
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi farmer lesbian!
so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)
it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into
hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)
you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.
you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.
also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.
i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)
now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.
so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!
hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡
#ask farmer lesbian#mod alfalfa#mod horseshoe#questioning#identity#gender#labels#if any of my followers have advice or similar experiences please always feel free to add your take as well!
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
TW FOR RACISM, CHILD IMPREGNATION, EUGENICS, & TRANSPHOBIA
okay @silvercistern! thats okay! if you dont wanna be here for this conversation then i'll have a conversation without you! for all those readers out there who might've missed it
FOR EVERYONE'S INFORMATION:
Side Quest is definitely one of the weirdest fics I have ever seen get popular, for several content-related reasons.
Firstly, the racism. She writes her Serizawa to be half-black, half-Japanese, which is a perfectly valid hc if not for how she handles this fact. Ignoring the moments of subtle racism she gives Reigen (having him comment on the apparent "sloppiness" of his afro--which she also refuses to call an afro, by the way--and also having him guess his race via his racial characteristics), she blatantly and openly makes Toichiro racist towards Serizawa in a way that I feel we cannot ignore. For example:
I shouldn't have to say that calling a black man a "slave" in any context is fucked up, but I will for the sake of this post! Since she already think I'm insane :-) Also:
Once again, shouldn't have to say this but I will: Saying a black man has a "brutal masculine appeal" is so obviously and blatantly racist while also being entirely unnecessary for his character! We understand, as both readers and watchers of the base material, that Toichiro is a bad guy. We do not need him to then become racist, borderline-pedophilic, and a supporter of eugenics! And if you need quotes for some of these points, I will include one that has both:
Even if he is saying that he won't facilitate the "impregnation of a child", why the fuck is he laughing about it? Just a reminder: Toichiro in canon is only a terrorist and a child abuser. Yes, he is a bad person. However, I think elevating his evil to this level removes any concept of character depth that you could possibly have, and makes the ending of this fic (where he is seemingly normal and fine, with both his wife and child in his relative good graces) all the weirder. But again, I'm insane, right? Oh yeah, one more point about Toichiro that I found from the comments:
Now this tells me several things. Firstly, it's that she lacks the oversight to recognize when there is blatant racism in her works of fiction. Which is questionable, but I'm willing to let that slide because people should always be given the opportunity to grow. HOWEVER, the second part of this tells me that the first part might be a lie!!! Because hey!! If you are headcanoning a person's parent as being a WHITE SOUTH AFRICAN WITH EUGENICIST BELIEFS, you are basically saying your character was raised by an APARTHEID APOLOGIST. So I really don't know how you can avoid the racism embedded in that statement.
Now, let's move away from Toichiro because he's not the only character she completely butchers with weird concepts. Shimazaki is a trans chaser in this fic.
That's right. I'm not kidding. He is a chaser.
Once again reminding you that I'm the insane one.
There is literally no reason I can see as to why she would write this, other than that it is supposed to be a joke. Now, as an afab trans butch, there is only so much I can say to this point, but I will still ask: Who is laughing here? Who is this joke funny to? Is it to the trans women, who have to deal with similar kinds of harassment each time they try to go on a date? Or is it the Shimazaki fans, who I guess aren't weirded out by their fav being a chaser? Or is it just you, silvercistern? Is it just funny to you?
That point brings me to one of my last points with context. She seems to enjoy throwing in random "edgy" topics for either shock value or a laugh, neither of which I think her wording lands on. I did collegiate improv comedy for all four years of college (yes that may seem pathetic to you, but it was fun)--if anyone knows how a joke should sound, I think I'm one of the few. And, frankly, none of these land. For instance, the repeated "joke" of calling Reigen a creep or alluding to him being a pedo:
But, again, me? I'm insane, apparently. If you take issue with any of this, like I did, then to her you are insane.
This is not surprising to me, given that she already had a kind of breakdown to my friend regarding when they asked if silvercistern could tag one of her fics with sa.
Here is the link to their post. I ask that you respect their wishes and do not send harassment to silvercistern (as that is my wish as well) and do not be weird to them in their inbox.
But this is why it does not surprise me that she 1. would private her twitter account when faced with even the slightest backlash, 2. would then talk about the situation to her mutuals to garner sympathy, and 3. not even bother to read a single thing I said, given that she replied to my post in less than a minute after I had posted it.
By the way, one of those mutuals? Yeah, they are literally a toichiro/shou shipper. Here's the proof:
Anyway, this is not an excuse to go harass her. I DO NOT CONDONE HARASSMENT OF ANY KIND. ANY OF MY POSTS ABOUT THIS SITUATION WERE MADE TO DIRECTLY ADDRESS HER AND THE ISSUES I HAVE. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CHIME IN, DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME WITH YOUR OWN POST. DO NOT HARASS HER.
So yeah. Guess this would be something an insane person does, right? lol
#mp100#this is the last thing im saying on this. honestly bc im blocked and theres no reason for me to keep going#if she aint even gonna have the balls to read what i said#then theres no reason for me to prattle on other than this#AND IF UR ONE OF HER FRIENDS OR DICKRIDERS: LMAO#YALL GOOFY AS HELL#so tempted to add 'fucking insane' to my bio rn HJRBJHGRBJGRBJRBJHGRBHJGR#HEY. IM THE INSANE ONE. RACISM IS BAD AND SO IS SEXUALIZING KIDS#THATS CRAZY RIGHT? CRAZY
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Im so sorry @jils-things but you made me want to go on a tangent about art supplies in a bit cuz I'm a nerd andhekqkwkdjwoqo i lov u pls dont go away- 😭
Anyway yes I usually make a very light sketch with my pencil so that I could erase it easily for me to retrace it but I am here to make a very important public announcement and I feel that it is my duty to inform the public on something that could be beneficial to the society.
Behold: Kneading Eraser
This fucker have multiple names; Putty eraser, gummy eraser, kneaded eraser,clay. It's going through a phase, please don't judge it, let it change name every 10 seconds.
What I need is that I want everyone to put everything down and listen to what I say: You run to the art store, Michael's, Art Friend, soup store, whatever store you get your art supply at. You ask the store clerk you want a putty eraser and if they dont give you a putty eraser, tell them they're a loser in malay (it's mak kau hijau. The more your learn folks) and then go to the next store and find a putty eraser until you get them. Its not expensive, it cost me less than 2 bucks for 1 pack of putty eraser.
Why you may ask? Well, I can assure you as someone who draws, putty eraser is much much MUCH better than a normal generic eraser.
First of all, there's no dust. When you erase a line with this boy, there wont be any rubber shit nugget clumping on the table and making a mess on your bed (i know you hate your spine too and likes to draw on bed i live in ur walls u guys better sleep with 1 eye open). I'm so serious like I have 0 eraser shavings in my house since I use a putty eraser. Please stop sleeping covered in eraser shavings.
It's also malleable. You can literally shape it to whatever shape that you want so you could erase a a tiny spot that you couldn't reach without disturbing other lines. And it works sooooo well as a stress ball or a toy. People actually knead it into animal shape. Can you shape a normal rectangle eraser into a giraffe? CAN YOU? DO YOU SEE MY POINT?
Do you suffer from loneliness? Do you need a conversation opener? Are you tired of kneading an eraser to shape it into a friend? Believe it or not, putty eraser is a great conversation starter when you dont want to start a conversation! As a personal anecdote: whenever I sketch in school, if anyone I know sees me sketching, they will always ask me what the fuck is the clay thing I use to erase my lines and then I have to explain to them what is a kneadable eraser and then whenever I demo'd the eraser, an amusing OOOOOOO will come out and they will play with my eraser for like 5 mins. Am I mad that my eraser is taken away? No because the eraser can also be s e p e r a t e d . Black magic fuckery. Please go buy a putty eraser.
Anyway for the pencil, I swear to god if you ever get this pencil, you will never use a normal mechanical pencil ever again.
The pencil I'm using is called a drafting pencil, specifically Pentel Graphgear 500. There's tons of drafting pencil in the market but just look at this one because other's are expensive and you will cry. This pencil had a plastic body but the base is made of metal so its pretty heavy. It feels v e r y c o m f o r t a b l e on the hand, like the moment you hold it, you will believe that this is how mechanical pencil suppose to be. It just fits so perfectly with the contour of you finger. The weight feels so nice on your hands and the grip is very comfortable. The pencil sleeve also doesnt budge so you don't and won't have any issue of lead breakage (unless you press your pencil really hard)
It's also very long-lasting. I have 2 of them in my pencil case. The one on the left were bought in 2021 from Muji. The one on the right were bought in 2015. It still works fine despite being 8 years old. I don't think I ever have any mechanical pencil that is long lasting like this one. This is legit one of the product that I would say would last a lifetime if you take care of it well.
This ends my sleepy deprivation fueled post for today.
TL;DR: Please go buy kneaded eraser and a drafting pencil I am on my knees rn-
#asuka speaks#anyway aHHH I LOVE U JIL THANK YOU FOR BEING MY NO 1 HYPEMAN FOR CHLOE AND UTONIUM BLESS YOU 😭😭💕💕💕#i have said what i need to say so I will go to sleep now //bonk head
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about machiavelli, havent played em sure but i really do like the contrast i've got for him. definitely a lot calmer than most of my character backstories but its only the slightest bitter. slightest. ig the idea for this one is what if your life IS stable, set up in front of you perfectly. youre gonna live happy and safe and good. but you dont want it. cuz it doesnt have things you want, things you need. and what if what you want is worse? but is it really worse? or are you just super unprepared for the reality of leaving safety? like throwing a fish outta water yk. i really like how he looks at things though, he's a little depressed and he's got issues with that but it doesnt really affect his constitution. not really. he knows what he wants, and he'll put up with whatever bc he thinks he can pull it together and do it. and i think he can, i really do. its just kinda dampened by the fact that no one quite respects him, even if he tries to do the same. emphasis on tries, he isnt by any means disrespectful, but he has a mouth that talks and a mind that runs. of course, hes not *really* like that. tbh hes a quiet dude, he just kinda likes playing himself up as a big guy. he is like. in his 30s and post-divorce depression is eating him alive also hes having a mid life crisis. also he just accepted the fact that hes gay yk. whole thing. and yet he is a little hopeful for himself, even if he doesnt do the GREATEST things to treat himself. and like. avoid the fact that he's not doing so great in life whatsoever, but you gotta play up the grandeur to survive. so while he doesnt have the most complex backstory, tbh kinda straightforward when you compare it to my other dudes, i think it works for what he is. he's a normal guy who didn't want normalcy. he wanted big things, he doesnt want to be the side character in someone elses story. he wants to be KNOWN for his music.
#fool's monologue#i really like him#havent even played him yet and he feels so fleshed to me#ur just a normal guy.... youre trying to be hopeful sooo bad
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is time for the crackle goes kiwi caper!
oh man. im so close to being caught up. hold on, stockholm, I'm coming and i WILL be on time (i hope)
thats auckland btw
notes under the cut as always
OH okay ive been saving a really old edit for this episode
you're welcome
oh opening thoughts on the episode. ummmmmm its good. i like it. only reason i would have to dislike it is i guess the sort of red crackle stuff from it but i dont hate red crackle on default so it stands as a good episode. i like the dancing and the stakes actually feel pretty high a lot of the time!
not player hacking into the russian government
ah, neal. neal the eel. he is indeed. an eel
also rhys darby is my favorite voice actor on the planet
also also autistic dr bellum real and true
YOU WILL TRY
YUHHH GET IT
neal loving puns 👍
the "coo" neal does after he escapes into the vent is the bane of my existence i hate it with a burning passion
i wonder if "project tripwire" is supposed to be an experiment left over from the cold war or something?
zack is enjoying his sandwich!
that lean over carmen's shoulder one hand on the desk one hand on his hip move shadowsan is doing is the most dad thing
top ten moments before disaster
GIRL THE 3/4 PROFILE IN CS STYLE DOESNT WORK STOP USING IT
i love that the vile harddrive is like. VILE google
CRISPY FRIED CARMEN
player: we need an electrician who knows their stuff so carmen doesnt get electrocuted to death!!
the job they need done: wooo slidey thingies....ooooooo dont let it touch the line!! woooo!!
player in s1: we CANT let crackle get ANYWHERE near you he may be a SLEEPER AGENT or put you in DANGER
player in s2: we cant 🥺 even bring him back to play for the good guys? 🥺🥺🥺
i guess thats probably because shadowsan confirmed that he doesnt have any memories or sleeper agent tendencies lmaoo
fun fact! graham's cafe does not in fact exist. it is a housing complex/ lookout
carmen could not have picked a more. i mean just what a cover story. obviously i get that its personal to her but imagine being an electrican and this lady who is even younger than you comes up to you and is like oh...yeah i run an international charity. for abandoned children how unaccomplished would you feel wheeze
i will never stop saying this but SAY GOODBYE OR SOMETHING PLEASE CARMEN
interesting that the "cuppa" he insists she has with him kind of sets off a shit ton of stuff for s4. if acme hadn't taken gray in they wouldnt have probably ever been able to help carmen get out of mind control, or it would have taken much longer. she wouldnt have been able to discover and destroy the robots. weird stuff
insert meme about people calling paper star tammy because of that one time she used that as a codename here. except its with player and peter
ALSO HEEY PLAYERS ACCENT FROM S1 PAID OFF...he was practicing...
where did they get that ballet which is perfectly synched up to the lights he needs to turn off
not bellum's ominous green lighting black shiny lab. so subtle
also you would think that the power station bellum draws ALL her power from would be better protected wouldnt you?
did they let crackle practice the "lights" because if they didnt- yikes that sucks and if they did- bellum's security mechanism just going haywire as he practices pjgkkjsghd
mm this scene is good
OH also. eternal bounce looping gif because mmgh that animation is good
that animation of gray adjusting the slides where he goes in like. an arc in reverse. good shit
carmen is so not normal about the electric fields i love her. i get you're supposed to be dancing but girlie just run and jump its ok
even more bouncy because i cant be stopped
I LOVE HOW BOUNCY SHE IS. LOST IN THE SAUCE (the sauce is tchaikovsky)
a nearly electrifying performance is the best way to tell your best friend you didnt just die in a really horrible way
honestly the quip about sheep is a pretty good one. neal is SO COOL his fight scenes are really fun. takes a lot of ingenuity for our mains to outdo him
also his score is SOOO COOL its like. its slithery idk how to explain it
HAHAHA SHE PROTECTED THE FACE AND HE WENT FOR HER LEGS
i love how she was just like "nah fuck this" and ran the other way
HIS "OUGH" WHEN SHE TRIES TO KICK HIM IN THE FACE DHGDJHGKD. WASNT EXPECTING THAT ONE I GUESS
she goes down really hard a couple times fighting him. you can hear after he mule kicks her against the wall that it hurt
carmen's signature move, the titty twister
that "slick" line has become a line i just repeat with the same inflection like five times a day wugewghdh
player's kiwi went a little irish there
why did he go out the back door looking for carmen if the rest of the "theater" was supposed to be the other way 😭
oh okay nevermind he's just. he just doesn't listen
gremlin bellum appreciation
gray is literally the luckiest motherfucker alive please
didnt carmen lock the door behind her also??? im so confused how did he get in
"carmen?" "sandiego" (clapping noise from the intro)
the little confused noise gray makes pls its so funny
also love how his first question is "what kind of concert hall is this" and not "why are we sprinting down a hallway"
THATS THE NIGHT THAT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN AUCKLAND (sick guitar) THATS THE NIGHT THAT THEY H wait a minute
so hot i love her
kill, my queen
WILHELM SCREAM!
i love the disgust and annoyance that immediately overtakes her face when neal shows up again
are we ever going to talk about how neal was trying to snap her neck or no
no? okay
it would have been really funny if that crackle rod was set to lethal
i love how she says "zackivy" as one cohesive unit
pls carmen looks so short next to cracker
sharon muthu is such a queen
love also how carmen is more concerned about gray recognizing the voice than bellum threatening to take out auckland. yes girl priorities
fantastic shot of her grinning and then getting all smirky about it. she's so hot. again
michael put his whole pussy into that scream/crikey
"it won't blow up in our faces will it?" "um just. stick your hands in there okay"
i love when cs uses "bad" colors like the red flashing warning light to indicate goodness like carmen winning
the crikeys are killing me
THE TRIPLE SHOT OF THE TRIPWIRE PROJECT BLOWING UP IS SO ICONIC
i love neal going from horrified at the explosion to looking at bellum like. what did you just say
crying over how carmen just looks at him with no expression on her face after he makes a kiwi joke
and now a series titled "OW!"
thank you
also carmen does a WHOLE FLIP when she crashes (not doing photos because its hard to see) but she goes down on her neck, does a flip, and then slides in on her stomach
wow! good thing carmen is okay after crash landing in the woods due to something going wrong with a glider flight. im sure that won't happen again, and even if it did I'm sure the consequences couldn't be that terrible!
it would have been funny if he had died on impact im just saying
maybe he did and the power of carmen saying the wrong name brought him back
if the copyright wouldnt blow them to hell and back im a thousand percent certain they would have had crackle ask if carmen was like james bond
carmen: ill explain over that coffee
also carmen: explains nothing
wow look the line that jumpstarted me writing fanfiction. my first fic was a red crackle fic based off of this scene/the afterscene of acme looking at the cameras and speculations of gray joining acme. guilty ✋
carmen vaporizing on the spot and leaving graham with thousands of dollars is a vibe
yeah vile didnt lay eyes him. yep
ALRIGHT FUCK YES IM CAUGHT UP WITH CS WEEKLY!! STOCKHOLM HERE I FUCKING COME ON TIME YES BITCH MY FAVORITE EPISODE
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
How can i keep my feminine and classy vibes around gross people who say lots of swear words and trash talks? I feel like I dont have a defined personality and I imitate others to be liked by them and I obviously don't like it, so how can I stay myself?
And also, how can I not care of others' opinions about me?
How can I not feel awkward around others?
I always felt different, which even if it can be something positive because it's unique, I feel like it's something that makes me feel a bit excluded, most of all.
Thank you if you answer my questions 💖
I think the most important thing that needs to happen here is for you to define who you want to be. This way you stop being influenced and adopting habits of people who don't resonate.
Personally, i used to curse a lot. A LOT. And once i started my feminine journey i actually started finding this absolutely gross lol I curse here and there and its normally when i'm very angry, but other than that i have adopted replacements words into my vocabulary.
I also, outgrew a lot of my old friends, who have habits like cursing, gossiping etc, as an example. Once you commit to personal growth, i don't see how it could be easy for you to maintain relationships that don't align. Even with men, who have a habit of cursing more than women. Guys don't curse in front of me. If its someone i recently met, and they curse i simply tell them not to curse at me. they never do it again. in any rare case where a bad word slips, they immediately apologize. You can also do this with your friends. Its really a respect factor at the end of the day.
It seems like you care about others opinions of you because you don't know who you are so you are always trying to search for approval. You shouldn't care what others think, but i'm pretty sure you know that by now. You just have to make a decision and stick to it with conviction.
Sometimes people make us feel anxious, and its totally because they are the wrong energies for us and that's our body alerting us. Other times, we just have our own negative energies and things we need to heal from, and people do genuinely make us feel anxious. Especially if we are not used to being social or are more introverted. And thats perfectly okay. I can only suggest you try to put yourself out there more and practice within your comfort zone. Preferably with people who you have actual things in common with.
Being different is amazing. Recognizing it is powerful. Society always wants to stick people in groups and limit their potential. When you are different and move differently, it scares people. What people don't understand scares them. But that has nothing to do with you. This is actually something that parents do with their children when they're growing up because they don't want their kids to feel excluded etc etc. but they are doing them a disservice most of the time because everyone is unique and special and live to the extent of their potential. There is literally nothing wrong with you. Being different is better. Being different is how you stand out. You just have to believe and KNOW how special you are, and use it to create good for yourself and others <3
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need
to rant(not really rant but infodump)
so flower shop aus are amazing right, but you know whats better?
prince x gardener boy/ gardeners assistant
so imagine
leona x yuu(for self indulgent purposes this is he/him yuu)
and like, its pretty similar to leonas backstory except yuu works as a gardener there and like leona and yuu have never seen eachother or anything but obvi yuu knows about leona
so say theres this one spot underneath a window in leonas room that has flowers and such, so the first time leona finds out about yuu is because hes like tending to the flowers underneath that window, and so like leona starts a conversation and from then on yuu and leona will have conversations as leonas just like chillin at the window watching yuu take care of the flowers
and imagine that since yuu is just a gardener he is like "im not high class enough to be looking in your eyes but like...imma still talk to you" so they have this weird thing where like yuu is never looking at leona bc of class reasons even though hes like perfectly fine having normal conversations without typical level of respect for someone whos royalty but like leonas always looking at yuu bc its like "who is this weird guy who wont look at me but seems to not hate me like everyone else and who really likes flowers?"
and imagine that since yuu is just a servant he didnt have the highest education so like leona ends up like telling yuu what he knows from like, special prince lessons or whatever, and yuus like "holy crap ur smart dude" and leonas like "...no?" and yuus like "no u smart"
and when leonas bitching about never getting to be king yuu will say stuff like "i prob shouldnt say this but i dont really think ur brother would make the best king. like he seems like he wouldnt take stuff seriously, but i mean what do i know"
and often times leona will ask about flowers because thats how he can get yuu talking for a while and at one point he may ask yuu what flower he thinks leona reminds him of and he says "...Gladiolus. They symbolize strength, along with some other nice characteristics. the name comes from the latin word for 'small sword' so the flower is often referred to as a sword lily."
and then like leonas just quiet for a bit because he didnt expect him to answer so in depth, but then in like one of the next few days he finds a flower on the windowsill where he talks to yuu and the flowers a gladiolus.
am i going to write this? no. will i be thinking about it for the next month? yes. did i just look up flowers that symbolize strength and then pick the one i think looked prettiest and that had other characteristics that fit? also yes.
this is also prob ooc for leona a bit but this is purely self indulgent purposes.
edit: me realizing i said 'like' so many times in this. i sound like shaggy
#twst#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar#twst leona#twst yuu#leona x yuu#i only came up with this for self insert purposes i dont care
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Flower | Guess, you were my mistake
Hanma Shuuji
Hanma Shuuji x f!reader
Angst, comfort, cursing
masterlist
It is not the wrong people but how we worked everything out was to blame.
Inspired by : Flowers [ Lauren Spencer - Smith ] - song
Summary : You cant exactly read what's going on with your boyfriend, Hanma's mind. Was it joke or he just being a fucking serious ? When you both got older, that's how you knew, the love meant for you both in a right time.
Loving Hanma was not hard as everyone told you to stay away from him. Everything with him was perfectly fine.
The only complicated thing about him was he didnt even try to feel what you felt. He always took you as a joke, then tell you it was normal for a couple to have a cruel joke. What else can you do, when he saw you as submissive.
Brush it off, you cant really get mad at him knew what kind of person he is, a joker person, even you are his girlfriend, it doesnt give yoi a previlleged of stopping him from whatever he wanted to do.
The sound of shoes accompany the two of you. Awkward how to start the conversation.
" Hanma, you remember...right, we have a date this Saturday , " you didnt even know why you sound so hestitate, was it because he always laughed at you for remember the date that he assumed as "childish". Hanma give you a side gaze and smiled, " Babe, cant. I have a fight this Saturday, my gang really fucking need me , i am the strongest of them all ", that's it, Hanma was nothing but how narcissist he can be ,sometime.
You just nodded, he admits he is not the best boyfriend out here, after he saw your frown face, Hanma's right arm lingering around your waist, " i will make it up with accompany you do a revision in the library, how about that ? Sound good to you ? ", and how sweet he can be.
And again, you just nodded at his words, why ? That's the only way to talk to him in nice way.
It was night, the reason you with him in late night, was because he called you to treat his wounds. Not that you mind he calls in the middle of night but he alwyas getting himself hurting and still laughed it off as "normal whenever you have fight".
Fight. You both are 18. There are a lot of thing you can do in that age instead of fighting. You cant- no, you will never know how Hanma's brains really working. Extremly, "let's try to be couple like a real married couple ", and that's how you both ended up live under the same roof, your family against everything about him but you loved and entrusted him more than your hypocrite family.
He is a very nice guy. When he took your hand for a silly dancing, using a toothbrush as a microphone, and there's the time where he said he want you to meet his parents, hearing that make you in the nine cloud. You can see how serious he is with you.
And here is the time.
His wounds around his face were getting better. So, you dont have to feel worry that his parents gonna blame you over the wounds on his face. Hanma hold your hands, " dont be nervous, babe. They gonna like you ", oh , how sweet he can read your expression, and hold your cold hands, he helps to give a warmth.
Through all the walk, you both were joking around, threw a small rock to each other. How foolish you both looks alike. The world were watching how fool you both but for Hanma, this is his only fool.
" Mom ! Dad ! I brought my girlfriend, she really excited to meet you guys", Hanma shouted as he want people around the world know that he has a girlfriend, you just shaking your head as Hanma's childish side was your favourite.
His parent welcomed you with warmth smile, aww, Hanma really copy paste of his parents carbon. They seems already like you.
"Y/n is her name. She is a good girl, have a good academics achievement, never got involved in any fight, always taking care of me, cat lover, hate spider and oh , oh, i want to marry her mom ", you so happy hear Hanma's last sentence, his parents just laughed, " We glad to have a good daughter-in-laws, right honey ", his mom really a good mother figure, how can she got a son like Hanma, bruh. Well, it is too young to planning about married, we never knew what's gonna happened next.
You spent all your day and evening at his parent's house.
Share all laughed, jokes, teases Hanma's baby photobooks, having a dinner. His mom really good cooker.
"Thank you for all day, ma'am, sir ", you bowed and Hanma took your hands. What a nice day. " Are you happy, babe ? My mom amd dad seems like really love you ", if you being honest, Hanma's smile is the only thing you want to last forever, they are giving you hope.
"Yeah...Hanma, about the marry on-", " im just joking babe, my bad ", he didnt even let you finished your sentence and chuckling. it looks like he knew what words spitting after your lips.
"Dont worry to much about it, alright, babe", he tucked your hair behind your ears, left a good kiss on your forehead. Not sure, what was this, did he felt guilty or simply being a bastard that cant take care of his girlfriend's feeling.
" Oh, a joke "
-
The glass shattered around the floor. No one brave to pick or swipe it off. Just like how you both let the ego conquered the main role here.
The frames, the television control , the mobile phone, and so on, you name it, were all broken. That's how you knew, thing almost come to the end.
" Hanma ! You cant let yourself being a victim of his slave. What happened to you ? You knew Kisaki gonna lead you up to something no good ", you yelling at him, doesnt care how crazy your tone were. Hanma's irritated face reflecting how much he hates you being all bossy right now.
" Up to something no good ? Did you fucking even knew me ? Im worse than him, y/n . This was the fucking i cant stand you, acting all good and care about me. Oh, fuck. Im tired of you being bossy " with that he walk away from the shared house.
No, i never wanted this happened. All of these was not what exactly you wanted it happened. Tears on your cheek all dry. Hanma? He is a beast, probably thinking you were just being nonsense and need some good rest for not thinking something fucked up. Yeah, you were all stressed about upcoming examination. But that's not the point here.
You try to calm yourself down. Dont want your emotions filled your already worst day. At this point, you didnt even care about where's Hanma going.
Hanma. He never try to solve everything whenever there are fight, he thought giving you some space was a good option. The complex was opposite how you wanted him to solve it with good communication but he is Hanma Shuuji.
He saw you as cold-hearted person, rarely show any emotion, so , it wont hurt you if he left all alone. That's how selfish Hanma is.
Again, having him walked away also good for you. Let him have a rest to think what he was doing was right or not. He never knew what's wrong, because all he knew, just having some fun.
Up to your worry, it has been 3 days. He never come to house since that day. Something unusual between you to after all the fought.
How you imagine Hanma came to your arm, saying sorry, giving you forehead kiss, tucked you in comfortable blanket, God, you really fucking wishing that.
That Hanma will never fucking exists. He was all the expectation of your reality.
It was like your morning ritual to have an exercising before start a day. Usually, it took you for almost 2 hours jogging around the neighbourhood, you didnt make any plan to hang out with your friends after you cleaned all your aftermath with Hanma, it took you 2 days to be ready cleans everything, maybe i should did some revision for the final,
Your steps keep slow and slow, it is not like you ran physically, but your thought controlling your whole body even it pass your limits, But much to your suprise, you saw a taller man with a girl. Oh.
Stare them to the death wont dissolve the problem, you didnt want to make any assumption, not in the situation where the fight still going on, " oh my, what's a beautiful sight, Hanma ", you waving at the girl, oh, you realized who the girl was, the girl that always try flirting to (not with) Hanma, you always reminds Hanma everyday about the girl that in front of you right now, it seems like he never pay attention to your words.
Hanma widen his eyes as he saw your presence, " Y/n, how are you. ? It's good to see you here. Does you make a enougj preparations for upcoming exams? Hanma just asked me to hang out with him today", the girl wrapping her arms around Hanma, Gid, she looks like bitch im the heat.
Clueless how you should reacts. Hanma didnt says anythimg either. You felt betrayed and humiliated. Crying all over night, took some pills to drive yourself to sleep but wah, Hanma could casually have a new girl. Your both relationship not even ended, yet.
The says was right, Hanma would never give you anything that boyfriend should have to give to their girlfriend.
Seeing how your eyes shaken, Hanma knew you will burst into tears anytime now, how you were shivering from controlling yourself not to burst, he try to reach your arm but you dodge and swift his hold roughly.
"The fuck you were thinking, Hanma ? Why cant you just being a normal boyfriend like everyone else. You..yo- i cant with you being like this. I was expecting you to be better after the fight, yoi giving me space for myself to calm but you ? Calm youself by fucking another girl ? Hanma- i really wish you- oh, i cant- i fucking cant ", the words you really wanted to say cant formed and saying it out loud, the emotions controlling all over your body, didnt want to spend another minute with the sight, you stomps off from there.
All Hanma can do was, watching your figure disappear from his sight. He sighed.
You coulda told me, you were seeing her for your pleasure.
The girl just feel satisfied with you being mad over something foolish. Yes, even yourself thinking you were foolish for letting your own boyfriend treated you this way after all the red flag that show you should have leave him. He really dress you up like a toy.
That night. You were packing all your stuffs. After you both starting dating around 5 months, he suprising you with the house. Dont asks how he got it, he make a death threat to the owner of the house to sign the contract with him. Pay rent ? Yes, you have a part time job while Hanma got all the money from all the crimes he did.
As Hanma stepped inside the house with red rose bouquet on his hold, he speechless, half of your belongings all cleans in packaging, you will never leave him, right?
He saw you out from the kitchen, he sense your sorrow face.
" He-yy, babe. I bought your favourite flowers ", he shoved the flowers wuth wide smile, hoping you forgive him. You rolled the eyes, " Hanma, im leaving " , " no, you cant leave me. Married ? Aa, about ths married. Let's get married after high school if you want , babe. I knew you want it right, i-i even promised you that", his eyes now was shaking , try to stop his tears from rolling down.
You sighed, ready to muttering the hurtful words for both of you, " Hanma, you never realized what you did were wrong, arent you ? Yes, im might a fool for you, but really ? Saying about married will make me stay ? Look, Hanma. I dont want you going on with this miserable, i love you , but this wasnt right. You thought everything you did were fun but you didnt knew or could i says, care about people around you ", you stop and took a deep breath, doesnt want to spit the word that rub to the wounds,
" i guess, we were to young to take everything to serious matter. We should never let our love control ourselves at this age. Too young for this. Maybe my parents were right when they against me to date you, young people often falling in love with the wrong people, guess, my one my was you ", with that, you gave him one last hug, " let's meet another time where you already knew what you should do ",
You took all the luggage and stuff, and shoved it into the car. You already calling your brother to help you. Hanma just freezing, processing all the sentences. It never felt this hurt. He thought you will never be fucking hurt becausw no matter what kind of bad stuff he did, you always forgiving him, guess this one were different.
One day, i really wish you realized the mistake you did, Hanma. If something hurting you, dont let yourself drowning into the pain, get some help, im not always everywhere to help you with you. Up til' now, it was a nice love i got from you.
You are not even apologizing, Hanma.
-
10 years already pass
It is cold weekend and its your lazy day. You are sitting on the pink couch with the television on. News. That's how bored your life was.
But the news about the gang caught your attention, Tokyo Manji Gang.
Hanma Shuuji. That name was suddenly appeared by itself on your mind after hear and saw all the incident involved Tachibana Hinata's and Tachibana Naoto's death.
Hanma had ever told you about his plan with Kisaki to conquer Tokyo Manji Gang, guess this was his doing. Never changed.
You switching off the television. Get some fresh air. Didnt want let the past passing through your mind. You dont know where to go, basically have no destinantion, but somehow, your legs betrays you by lead you to old memories. It only took 20 minutes to the memories.
After those years, you were manage avoiding everything related to him. But the sign just keep gaving something for you to reach the memories.
" The house. It's looks like someone living there, it has been many years, someone new must already rented it " you whispers all that as your doe eyes adore the house, seems like you lie to yourself about forgetting him. You miss him so much.
You walked away from the house. No destination. Probably thinking how much this neighbourhood meant to you. Found a bench and sat there, closw your eyes, feel the breeze passing throught your face.
" im the owner of the house ",
You freeze when you heard the familiar voice, nor even try to tilted your head towards your side. It's him.
When you outside of the house, he saw you from the window and definitely wont waste the chance, so, he follow you until you choose to sit on the bench where he make a love confession to you
As you open the eyes, oh, how much you miss the person in front of you, " oh , never knew that ", the silence fill the tension.
Hanma was sitting down next to you. Wait for the right time or right moments to say something.
" Im sorry. For everything. After you left, i cant change, it just me being so sick of how bad i had treated you. You might not believe it, but, i took every chorus of your sentence and learned from it , i also cant let house being fulfil by someone else, it full with you scent", you heard everything he said but couldnt formed any type of sense.
" it took you a fucking many years for apologizing , jerk ", a smile formed on your face gave him hope to explain everything what really happened that day.
" i knew , i am jerk. But really. That day, i promised, i didnt make any plan to hang out with that bitch, i just kinda, erm , how to convinced you, but- i know no girl other than you, so yeah- ", at first you were confused which day that he meant, ah, the day you broke up with him.
" pft- Hanma. I knew what really happened that day, i asked that girl all by myself after the day i left. The only thing that triggered me was you. You never learnt to apologize or even try to understand from my perspective, you treated me so badly, but it felt so bad to have a love for someone that hurting you, y'know", you just laughed at his red cheek, his gang basically just killed someone yesterday but their higher up being all blushed with his girl.
He is not your mistake, it just the time also matter too.
"So, can i be your boyfriend again ? "
in my matter of opinion, some people have to choose the word carefully on what they said, we never knew the impact that left for that person. The word might seems normal for you but not everyone is you ;)
The shortest fic and the hardest fic for me to write.
masterlist
#tokyo manji gang#hanma shuji#hanma#hanma shuuji#hanma x reader#hanma x y/n#tokrev hanma#hanma imagine#hanma angst#hanma fluff#hanma fiction
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
Liveblog of the Teen Wolf: The Movie
Yeah that a great place to store the most powerful enemy you've ever had
That was the whitest Japanese I've ever heard
Who the fuck are you
Ok darth vader, chill out
This is the worst thing I have ever watched
Oh my god
No
Just no
Jesus
Dude, what the fuck?
Swearing??
I hate it here
Still don't like her
ELI!!!!
Jordan?? Why are you still here?
Mason's a cop now? Why.
DEREK IS A OFFICALLY A DILF
Dude, that was so unnecessary
Dude, that was so unnecessary pt 2
And you're holding hands why?
That was not a two person job
I hate you all
Exactly, why are you here?
Why are you explaining what the nemeton is? We already know????
Eli, that was unnecessary
Derek seems like the best dad
He's a shithead
And a smartass
And also a dumbass
Is it just me or is the a ting really bad?
Oh God, I know what's about to happen.
I'm not mentally prepared for what's about to happen
I dont want to see Ryan's ass
I have been subjected to so many naked bodies over the past week, I'm over it.
EW
I HATE IT HERE
WHERE DID THE RELATIONSHIP COME FROM???
THEYVE NEVER EVEN SAID TWO WORDS TO EACHOTHER
Awww, he's trying to be a good dad
Can you put your pants on please
Does this relationship actually bring anything to the plot?
*eyeroll*
Jesus christ
Why are they acting like they've never been there before??
Seriously, why.
Um ok riddler calm down
Oh, never mind
Have you just learnt to swear??
Umm??
Bonding moment?
Are we not going to talk about that???
Yeah, Eli and Derek are the only good thing about this movie.
What the fuck
Have I mentioned that I hate it here?
Umm
Wow, they really are using that r rating to the fullest, huh.
Why is she naked.
She didn't die naked, so why is she naked?
Umm
Oh
COACH!!!!!
Why am I doing this to myself
Best scene in that whole movie
The lip filler on this one
Why are her nails painted and done perfectly??
Are you kidding me?
You're going to tell me that Allison, who just came back from the dead, can beat a werecoyote, two police officers AND a true alpha?
Um ew
Dramatic ass
Ok bro, you are over acting rn
What the actual fuck
Why are you walking like that?
Mother?
Liar liar
Lol
Oh my god
Jesus
She went straight for the head
What
You're going to sit there and tell me that a human woman is stronger than a at full health werewolf?
Kitsune really said 🧍🏻♀️
Just heal? Why aren't you healing?
'Yeah, but I'm a good demon.' yeah bby you are
BOO BITCH
WHY HAVE YOU NOT HEALED?
I've witnessed the Derek Hale take worse hits then that and walk around like its nothing.
Ok, that was pretty cool.
Why are they taking out normal humans?
PETER
You've been spending too much time with cowboys
Jesus christ.
You two just need to kiss already
No, it's Kira. You need Kira. You don't need Lydia, you need Kira.
What in the CGI fuck was that
I seriously hate it here.
I really dont give a shit
Lady, you dont even know this child.
Her quiver was literally just empty.
Oh my god
*deep sigh*
Are Tyler Hoechlin and Ian Bohen the only actor that continued a ting after Teen Wolf ended?
You're such a shit-stirrer Peter
It should have been you, instead of Brett & Lori.
Oop, she ded
Oh, they got dusted.
Why did I just gasp?
Oh ok, just throw him down the stairs why don't you.
Oh my god
NOW SPARTA KICK HIM
Are you an idiot?
That was so unnecessary pt 3
Yeah like I cant fucking see the puddle of blood sitting right there.
I'm so uncomfortable
How has the acting gotten worse?
You guys are fully grown werewolves, it's a piece of fucking rope.
I didn't care about your relationship then and I still don't now.
It's the fucking teacher isn't it.
I miss Brett so much. Isaac too.
You're getting to Joker rn dude.
PROTECTIVE DAD DEREK
How has the eye cgi gotten worse?
Called it
That's so sad
Has everyone in this movie just forgotten how to act?
Yeah, I really dont care.
Yeah, that's not how it works bruh
See, should have recruited Peter ages ago.
YOU STUPID BITCH
HE BETTER BE OK, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD
Missed you Jords
How tf would you know?
Do the roar
Holy fuck
Fully body goosebumps rn
Oh shit
Oof
Umm what?
He's a unicorn
Bout fucking time
That was so fucking cool
Ew, no.
Jesus fucking christ
I see some Johnny Cage in you Sheriff.
Umm ew
You look like a really fucked up seal
Please shift back. Your wolf faces are really ugly.
Jordan, can you please do something.
'You can't catch me! I'm the ginger bread man.'
Gets worse everytime.
Headbutt
Jords, had him just fine. Derek didn't have to sacrifice himself.
Unnecessary death so it doesn't count.
What is with the writers and burning the Hales.
AND IN FRONT OF HIS CHILD AND PERVIOUSLY BURNT UNCLE????
Bullshit
That didn't happen. Derek is fine.
Get out of my fucking house.
Ew
That didn't happen either.
I fucking hate you.
You're full on making me cry rn.
Pretty sure Derek was the first teen wolf character I ever liked, this hits deep.
Oh honey
No.
You seriously think that Peter and Cora would let Allison and Scott raise that child?
Ew, stop.
Have fun in hell bitch.
Am I supposed to know who that is?
Eli, what the fuck are you doing?
#teen wolf#teen wolf the movie#liam dunbar#eli hale#derek hale#scott mccall#lydia martin#peter hale#alan deaton#chris argent#melissa mccall#nogitsune#malia tate#jordan parrish#allison argent#sheriff stilinski
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
ur latest post abt nicknames got me thinking about sanji giving petnames to 124ji and the three getting suuuper flustered abt it even if they dont register 'flustered' as an emotion 🙈🙉
sanji would obviously use things like "ichiji-nii/niji-nii" for 12ji and call yonji "little/baby brother" but. think about the 🌟possibilities 🌟 i also think he uses a lot of food petnames- a habit he subconsciously picked up from zeff lol
for ichiji, maybe..: nii-san <- (feel like 'nii-san' makes ichi go Crazy especially so sanji makes sure to say it a lot around him 👀), strawberry, stawberry prince, strawberry shortcake- a lot of things to do with strawberrys okay- (ma) fraise <- (my) strawberry in french (all of the non english ones'll be in french lol) cherry, (ma) cerise <- (my) cherry, firecracker, firestarter, my light... idk stuff to do w red foods/sweets and fire
niji. prolly: blueberry, blueberry prince, blueberry pie, (ma) myrtille <- (my) blueberry, electric love, lightning strike- but i also feel since sanji and niji arguably have the most love/hate relationship out of the brothers i think sanji'd tease niji and also call him things like- zaptrap, motor mouth, fruit pourri <- (rotten fruit), your higness <- (mockingly ofc). so like w them the sweet petnames are for when niji is Calm and Normal and the other ones are for 90% of the time <3
and yonji sweet boy yonji <3 at first i couldn't decide if his assigned fruit should be a kiwi or a starfruit but i went with kiwi for a reason :3c anyways sanji would call yonji: kiwi, kiwi prince, keylime pie, mon kiwi <- (my kiwi), whirlwind, (mon) ouragan <- (my) hurricane, (ma) tempête <- (my) storm, big guy <- (yonji likes to be reminded of his strength in passing :3c) basically anything that has to do with green fruits and wind!!
ps the reason i ditched the starfruit idea for yonji is bc how CUTE would it be if yonji called sanji that instead 🙈🙈
"oi, mon ouragan, can you get something for me?"
"sure!! whaddya need, starfruit?"
"😳h u h😳"
like itd be so cute 😭 sanji was all giggly after that- his steps more like skips and his cigarette smoke curling into hearts.. after ichiji and niji pick up on what made him so happy they start doing it too <3<3
ps reiju SO has a notebook of all the names shes heard her boys call one another bc she thinks its the cutest shit shes heard in years <3<3<3
They'd be insufferable with the pet names, I just know it
I can totally see all of them doing it teasingly at first, like "ha! feelings? we don't know her", but then sanji realizes how flustered each one of them get and starts doing it seriously
124ji can't exactly pick up on seriousness, but they notice sanji's tone changed, so they mimic it and suddenly being called by a pet name feels kinda really nice?
"for when niji is Calm and Normal" had me actually laughing lmao I love niji being absolutely feral and insane 90% of the time but having those few and far between moments where he behaves and pouts until he's treated nicely
And starfruit as sanji's pet name is the best?? It's so cute and matches him perfectly and 124ji would use it all the time for him because they love seeing sanji all giddy
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay this is pretty. dark. but i cant help these memories and i just. i dont know. need some positivity/reassurance that im not a bad person ig? tw for school shootings.
basically i recently uncovered a memory of my timeline which. involved me being in a relationship with a school shooter (i dont know who it was, i dont even think he was necessarily a fact/fiction type, he actually probably wasnt? i dont know its fuzzy) and. basically. i think because i was so in love with him i helped him and his friend in taking the school hostage and. after that its all blurry. but its really fucking me up. i know i cant help kin memories/exomemories but. its so dark and idk. controversial isnt the right word but yk what i mean. its scary and i dont like it.
anyway. hope this didnt make you guys too uncomfortable. thank you for your presence.
Hey anon,
You're not a bad person for remembering an alternate life you now have no control over. While that person who did those awful things is you in the most technical sense, they aren't really you at the same time. Your actions in this timeline matter far more than they do in any other, as this timeline is the one you have actual influence over. Alternate versions of yourself are exactly what you'd expect: alternate. Your kins have no authority over your morality and worth as a person in the here and now.
I understand that it may be hard to accept these memories. I've done things in my kin timelines that were frankly unacceptable, and I still struggle to come to terms with them. Still, that doesn't mean i'm a bad person. The fact that i'm able to acknowledge how fucked up the things I did in other timelines were actually have helped me grow as a person and have shown me the person I don't want to be. I hope that someday these awful memories can be a gift to you in that sense too. No matter how grisly or repulsive these memories may be, they at least show perspective that may have been impossible to garner otherwise.
That kind of goes into one of my theories about kintypes; particularly the "bad" or "abusive" ones that some people-- a lot of them being perfectly kind and normal-- wind up with: I believe that oftentimes your kin memories come from the universe (or whatever powers there may be) trying to give you lessons or a message for your current life. They aren't supposed to be testimonies to your character, because (in my opinion), most people probably have had super fucked up alternate timelines where they've been godawful people. They just don't remember them for one reason or another. The fact that you remember them just means that it's somehow relevant to your current life.
Don't punish yourself over a life you remember when it's one that's completely outside of your influence. You can't change what happened, just like you can't change that kintype or who you are.
Be kind to yourself. You don't need to justify yourself or your kintypes. Literally the fact that you know what you did in that timeline was wrong is enough.
Remembering bad things in other timelines doesn't mean you are going to enact them in this one. Just like intrusive thoughts, exomemories are not indicative of your future actions.
Hope you are well,
Mod Haze (🫁Rob)
#alterhuman#alternate timeline kin#faitkin#idk what the right term would be for such a vague kin#maybe like#quoikin#or#wtfkin#positivity#🫁#mod haze#tw mass shooting#tw mass murder#tw school shooting#tw exotrauma
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
viciousseizures
VICIOUS SEIZURES
kristyavson
⭐Kristy Avson's FanArt⭐
sincerely-samsona
Sincerely, Samsona
probablydaydreaming
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
