#you'll never guess who I met at the future parking lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ottiliere · 2 years

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I like to periodically check in on ur blog because you do some of the best Dirk analysis out there and to come and find that since I last checked you posted both JTHM and psychonauts was so awesome, especially because me and one of my pals have been really into talking about both recently since I just bought the reissue of all 7 JTHM comics with extra content and he’s been playing psychonauts 2. I hope to see more of both on ur blog in the future (although please don’t feel pressured you’re content is always good anyways) !

ohh this is lovely to hear...have always felt like there's a through line between psychonauts 05 and jhonen's stuff. which does make sense given that they were made around the same relative time period! I'm assuming you're talking about the director's cut release of JTHM here...I believe this is the first physical copy of the comic i owned as well, it's really nice! have always been fond of how barebones the spine was, i'm sure some people don't like it but I kind of miss how charmless (using the word affectionately) a lot of the design was for books like this.

i wish i could say something nicer about psychonauts 2...I'm not a fan of haterism like that's just not what i care to put out into the world, especially on this blog. but i have to be completely honest with you and say i just did not enjoy this game. if it had been anything BUT a psychonauts sequel it would have been entirely inoffensive to me, but as a sequel it's just kind of incredible the extent to which the charm, style, humor, love, etc. of the first game was just, removed completely, with absolute surgical precision. very little traces of these things. it's fun to play and mostly nice to look at, a good game in all technical respects, but it's just not psychonauts 2005.

my friend dane davestriderdeathcult4568 has been my psychonauts buddy and was running through the first game again recently which is what made me get back into it... neither of us had really engaged with the sequel yet so i watched him play it and it was just; legitimately devastating. the state of the writing is so tragic i remember specifically there was a point at which we had to physically get up and and go stand around on the balcony outside for a while clutching our drinks and cigarettes in the wind looking up at the sky trying to recover emotionally. this sounds like a joke but it totally isn't this game made me so incredibly sad.

like initially i was a little worried my first impression was just nostalgia or something but talking around a little it really obviously...isn't. there's something really vital missing from psychonauts 2. a lot of really vital somethings actually. outside of the writing, even, like, glossing over how just objectively not good the story is....the character design is so egregrious held up to the designs of psychonauts 2005. it feels like they tried too hard to make everyone appealing and "cute"....but they all already were! there was so much lovability in the violent asymmetry and crooked strangeness of the original designs. raz is a great example of this here i think, in the second game he's too...puppy-cute, where in the first game he was cute like kind of an ugly little insect. that was special! and of course there's dear sasha....like look at this look AT this. i don't even know what to say :(

side note it must be said and i will admit that i was so was so upset about everything i was witnessing under dane’s hands that i went home and moped for days and days. and i couldn't even find sasha's p05 model uploaded anywhere and i became alighted with such a fervent spirit i learned specifically how to rip models and textures specifically to recover him (will upload soon of course). unrelated did you know his model is missing buttons when they’re specifically textured in his texture sheet....lost buttons of the world.

and of course i've got “wife” bias with sasha (a/n: he’s a clinically diagnosed homosexual) but I think this is applicable to pretty much every character we see. especially tertiary background characters got... I don't even know a word for this. the janky grotesqueness of the original style is just completely gone, you can see they tried to emulate some of that a little with the asymmetry but what remains is just barely a ghost of an idea of what made the 05's designs memorable. so much of pn2's design work is just absolutely forgettable like leaves no impression at all, and that wouldn't be such a crime if the first game wasn't so criminally without flaw. example:

I'm aware the sequel was in devhell for a while and a lot of this is probably the consequence of necessary streamlining. like i get it, of course I am sympathetic to this. but it doesn't make the final product any less tragic to me...if anything it's worse knowing that there could have been better designs somewhere in there along the line.

there's something to be said for the loss of atmosphere, too....like, the first game was so murky and oppressive; you really got the feeling of a humid, kinda dirty summer camp. all the angles and the spaces and the colors...it was compact in the best way, just absolutely as tightly woven as it needed to be. the low-quality background textures... lovely. the wide-openness of the second game is comparatively so personally uncompelling...it's beautiful and well-crafted but the world of psychonauts 2 lacks the misshappen crackedness of the 05 game. i'm not called to spend hours larping anywhere here...

there's so much more i could say on this, like i sincerely hope this doesn't come off as snotty or pretentious! it'd be one thing if this was just how i felt personally but dane myself and a few other friends have spent copious time idependently of one another poring over both the 05 game and the sequel and come to a lot of the same conclusions as to what's..."missing". the game isn't a complete trashfire and it has a whole handful or maybe even two of redeeming features, but that only makes it hurt more that it feels so devoid of life! loboto in particular is a highlight, like out of everyone i think he's the only character from the first game who truly benefitted from the transition to high resolution...which only goes so far because they shelved him so quickly. I think i actually cried watching him in the game he was so fucking wonderful, genuinely everything about him harkens the ambiance of the first game more than anything else present in the second. he is additionally one of my favorite characters of all time, so I’m... happy he got what he got, at least...

i'll probably end up talking about this again in a little more detail. i wish i could make peace with psychonauts 2 but manpower and research efforts seem to indicate that this is not possible. 2005 reigns undefeated, best game ever all time forever, accept no substitutes, you get the idea. regardless I hope your friend enjoys it still and does not allow this ersatz of love to corrupt their spirit and joie de vivre.

#ask #psychonauts #this is a very long post. but it is how it is.#elaboration on too many friggen dudes: eliminating so so many unnecessary bg characters who didn't do anything would've carried this game t #the championships... would have been extremely funny if they kept up the concept psychonauts being a pretty shitty organization that #struggles to maintain employees. like imagine being a 10yo so excited to join this organization #and then seeing that the hq building is a total ghost town and nobody likes working there #like. please...#you'll never guess who I met at the future parking lot

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fitzs-trained-monkey · 3 years

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Chapter Eight: Here's To Hoping

(Image not mine)

Rated: PG

~You see I had this crazy dream last night, this man he talked to me He told me everything that's good and bad about my history

He told me that you are, you are the future

And the future looks good The future looks good to me~

"Jack," Sam sighed, checking his watch, "You gotta face the possibility that Marty may not be coming."

Jack was pacing back and forth across the motel's parking lot, trying his best not to slip on the crystallized asphalt. Dean had called the frozen tarmac 'Black Ice' and Jack felt that the term was quite accurate, it did feel like he was trying to walk on ice. But Jack just couldn't stand still. It was seven thirty-five A.M. and Marty still had not showed.

"No, she's coming. I'm sure of it!" Jack said with conviction, wringing his hands before shoving them into the pockets of his jacket. The small amount of force he applied was enough to throw him off balance. Jack's feet slipped out from beneath him and his head smacked against the frozen tarmac.

Sam flinched in sympathy but didn't move from the spot where he leaned against the Impala. He made no move to help Jack up as this was the sixth time he had bashed his head on the black ice in the last fifteen minutes. That fall and the five others before it would have been enough to kill or at least critically injure your typical human being.

So naturally, or rather unnaturally, Jack sat up and rubbed the back of his head. The blood soaked his hand as the wound quickly mended itself. Soon all that was left of the injury was a puddle of blood, nearly identical to five others on the ground that quickly began to freeze. Jack scooted on his knees to the edge of the parking lot and used the snow gathered there to wash the crimson substance off his hand. He stood carefully before beginning yet another round of pacing that would most likely end the same way it had the last six times.

Jack wished he could be sitting in the Impala with Dean and Cas but he found that waiting for Marty was more important to him, so he kept pacing. He wouldn't have to wait much longer. Dean had said that they would wait until eight o'clock before going to look for her. That arrangement had taken quite a while to agree upon. When Marty had failed to show up at six o'clock, Jack had immediately feared the worst.

"What if-what if she's hurt, or something? What if she got kidnapped?" He had worried.

"Jack, I'm sure everything is fine. People have different versions of what 'bright and early' means," Dean had reassured him, taking a long sip of coffee. He did not want to be up, but one thousand miles was a long way to go, so it was best they got up early. Besides, the earlier they checked out, the less they would have to pay, the motel charged by the hour and the rates weren't cheap.

"I know, but you saw what happened last night! What if those guys came after her again?" Jack had leaned back against the Impala's seats. The only reason he had gotten into the car in the first place was for the air conditioning. He was deeply worried that Dean might just decide to take off without Marty.

"Jack raises a valid point, Dean. The odds that those men from the bar should come after Martina, are considerable," Cas noted.

"Fine, if the shrimp doesn't show by eight, we go looking for her, and if we can't find her by ten, then I don't care; we're leaving without her," Dean decided. That was when Jack climbed out of the vehicle and began his trek back and forth across the parking lot. Sam had just followed him.

"I dunno, Jack. She seemed sorta skittish, don't ya’ think?" Sam now spoke.

"What are you saying?" Jack asked, turning to Sam.

"I'm saying that maybe you freaked her out. Maybe she got scared and ran off. Maybe- I don't know- maybe she's hiding, or something." Jack's eyes narrowed.

"You think she's scared of me?" He asked, though it sounded like more of a statement than a question. "What did I do wrong?"

"No, no. Jack, you didn't do anything wrong. I think, maybe she's just scared of coming with us- of what that might mean for her. I don't think she's scared of you, Jack. Marty doesn't seem like the sort of person that scares easy," Sam reassured. A smile tugged at the corner of Jack's mouth.

"You're right. She doesn't."

"If she doesn't show, we'll go looking, but you have to be ready in case she's changed her mind."

"She-she wouldn't do that, she promised!" Jack insisted.

"Sometimes people break their promises," Sam warned.

"She's coming. I know she is."

"Okay, Jack." Sam ducked back into the car, leaving the young Nephilim to wait in the cold. Jack turned on his heel to resume pacing.

He forgot he was standing on the ice.

Down Jack went. Yet again. Bashing his head on the asphalt. Yet again.

This time, Jack decided to just stay down for a bit and closed his eyes. He could hear Dean's obnoxious laughter echoing from inside the Impala. Jack came to the conclusion that black ice, and ice in general, was hard, impossible to walk on, and absolutely unforgiving when you slammed your head against it. Jack decided that he didn't like the black ice, he decided that he didn't like ice at all. This was fortunate as seemed as though the feeling was mutual.

There was a skidding noise somewhere off to his left and Jack opened his eyes. He turned his head towards the sound and directly beside him was Marty's amused looking face, only eight inches from his own.

"That was the most graceful thing I think I've ever seen in my life. You should consider ballet, Jack," She said.

Marty lay on the ice next to Jack with her head propped up on her elbow. Her mouth was twisted in a smirk and she held an eyebrow in a raised position. The expression appeared condescending, but Jack could see the sparks of affectionate mirth gleaming in her eyes.

Now, the reason why Marty was laying on the ground was a mystery to Jack. He was also baffled as to how she had managed to sneak up on him the way she had. If she had been walking down the street, he would have seen her coming, but he hadn’t, and it wasn't as though he had been laying on the ground for very long. If she had been close enough to see him fall, then how had he not seen her? Jack sat up and his brows pulled together in slight confusion.

"Where did you come from?" He asked. Marty followed his lead and sat up with a shrug. A large, overstuffed backpack was slung over her shoulders, yet she carried it with ease.

"From over there," She said, causally gesturing to the thicket of trees just behind the Motel as if it was a normal thing for people to go bushwhacking to their destination instead of simply taking the road.

"Why?" Jack wondered. Marty shrugged again.

"Cause' it's faster and way funner than using the road," She answered. Then she blinked and her face sort of scrunched up and she shook her head, laughing to herself. "Funner? Funner? That's not even a word! I think I need to use the sleep." Jack laughed with her for a moment before glancing to his feet and frowning. "What's wrong Jack-Jack?" The line between Jack's brows deepened and he looked to Marty.

"Why do you call me that?" He asked, temporarily distracted from his cold, slippery problem. Marty's mouth twitched with a tiny laugh.

"Jack-Jack is a character in a movie about superheroes. Have you ever seen The Incredibles?"

"No, I haven't."

"Oof, buddy! I'll have to show it to you one of these days, just remind me. Anyway, Jack-Jack is a baby with, like 50 different powers that he just uses willie-nillie and, yeah; it's a pretty funny movie and when you said you had powers and that you're, like two, that's just what I thought of," She explained. "And I'm rambling again, sorry!"

"I don't mind. I like knowing what you're thinking about," Said Jack. Marty ducked her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in a shy sort of way.

"Nah, you'll get tired of it eventually." Marty tapped her forehead. "Up here is nothin' but a random mix of movie quotes, song lyrics, and paradoxical questions."

"I don't think so," Jack said, shaking his head. Marty made a face.

"Well I do! I live up there, dude! Anyway, what was the long face for?" Her change of subject brought Jack to his problem.

"I don't like ice," He said, as if that explained everything. Marty raised an eyebrow in question, "It's impossible to walk on!" Jack exclaimed.

"Ah, I see. I guess that explains why you look like a homicide victim." Marty gestured to the frozen pools of Jack's blood on the tarmac and the blood coating the back of his head. "Want some help getting up?" Jack nodded.

Planting her feet on the icy surface, Marty stood and extended her hand for Jack to take. He used her arm to pull himself up, doing his best to replicate what Marty had done to stand. He wobbled a bit and almost fell back down, but Marty caught and steadied him before that happened. When he was vertical again, Jack glanced toward the Impala and realized that now he had to get over to it without falling. Marty was quick to notice his worry.

"Come on, Jack. It's really not that hard, look!" Letting go of his hand and sliding out onto the ice, she twirled once, jumped into the air and then twirled again, lifting her foot to her knee. Her foot touched back down and dragged her to a stop, facing Jack who looked like he'd seen a miracle. "See?" Marty did jazz-hands.

"I don't think I can do that," Jack said, sounding a little intimidated.

"Oh, no way. That took me years, I was just showing off!" She explained with a wave of her hand. Moving back to him, she reached down to pick up an instrument case and wrap a gray plastic grocery bag around her hand.

"You should teach me!"

Marty chuckled and pulled some of her hair away from her face. Her black-to-grey-to-white hair was down again today, descending all the way to her knees. Jack had never met anyone with hair that long, but he thought it was amazing.

"Alright, just remind me take you ice-skating and movie bingeing, kiddo."

"I don't think you can call me 'kiddo'," Jack said with a frown.

"Why not? If you don't like it, I'll stop saying it."

"Well, I am biologically older than you, right?" Jack pointed out. Marty chuckled.

"Where does a two-year-old hear a word like 'biologically'?"

"I heard Sam use it."

"Makes sense." Marty shrugged. "Anyway, you're right, but I call everyone 'kiddo' age doesn't really matter. I call people all sorts of things."

"Like what?"

"You'll find out, honey-bunches-of-oats."

"Is that one of them?"

"Yup!" Marty snatched Jack's hand and helped him over to the car where she knocked on the driver's side window. Dean rolled it down and she glanced at the men inside. "Hey guys!"

***

"H-hey, Marty! You-you came!" Sam greeted me, he sounded surprised.

"I promised I would!" I said, I didn't miss the 'I-told-you-so' look Jack shot at Sam, "Dean, could you pop the trunk? I've got precious cargo." I raised the instrument case with my violin up into view.

"Yeah, sure." Dean climbed out of the car and skidded a little getting to the back where he opened the trunk.

I swallowed deeply. There were a LOT of weapons in there. Dean pulled on a tab and a panel came down, covering the arsenal in the truck's false bottom. I placed my case in carefully and slid it all the way to the back. Taking off my backpack, I positioned it between the case and the truck's door so my instrument wouldn't slide around. It was the most valuable thing I owned; I couldn't have it getting damaged. I then nodded to Dean and he closed the trunk. I was really doing this.

Jack opened the Impala's door for me and clung to it like a lifeline as I gathered my hair and slid into the backseat next to Cas. The boy followed after me and pulled the door shut.

"Here we go." Dean put the car into gear and rolled it out onto the road.

"So, where are you guy's taking me?" I asked, shifting to get comfortable in my seat.

"Lebanon, Kansas," Dean answered.

"Ooh, that's a long way away. I'm sorry I was so late. Did I make you very late?" Dean shrugged.

"Doesn't really matter, but yeah."

"I'm really sorry, I just wanted to say goodbye to somebody," I apologized, "But I brought chocolate! Will that atone for my sins?" I raised the bag of goodies Dan had given me.

"Hell yeah!" Dean reached back and opened his hand for the brown gold. I dropped a truffle into his palm, tossing one into Sam's lap and handing another to Jack. I held one out to Cas but he turned me down.

"No thank you, Martina," The angel said, gently.

"It's Marty, remember?" I corrected him and shrugged, unwrapping the candy. "Well, more for me, I guess." Dean reached his hand back again, asking for seconds. "Dude, this is gonna be a long ride, we gotta save our provisions." I declared, dramatically slapping his hand away.

"Aw, man!"

"Suck it up, butter-cup." I was about to pop the candy into my mouth when I noticed something on the wrapper. "Does anybody here like nougat?" I asked. Jack's head snapped up, his eyes begged for the truffle in my hand.

"I do."

"Oh good! I can't stand the stuff!" I passed him the chocolate. Jack looked at me like I was insane.

"Oh no, Jack. She doesn't like nougat, are you sure you guys can be friends?" Sam joked. At least I was pretty sure he was joking.

"You say that like I committed high treason!" I chimed.

"I dunno, I do feel betrayed," Jack said with his mouth full. I faked a gasp.

"I don't believe this! Jack, are you breaking up with me?" Dean burst out laughing, Sam snorted, and Jack just gave me his lopsided grin. My comment even won a quiet chuckle from Cas. I took that as a good sign.

"Yeah, I think so." Jack chuckled.

"Can we still be friends?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my every word. Jack pretended to think about that.

"Only if you teach me to ice-skate," He mock-decided.

"It's a date! Wait, no its not, you broke up with me." I reached out and shook Jack's hand, sealing our satirical deal. The car shook with laughter and I gave myself a mental tally mark as I tied up my treat bag, placing it at my feet. When the laughter died down, Castiel was the first to speak up.

"Was that an instrument case you brought with you?" He asked.

"Yeah it is. Why?"

"I'd just like to get to know you," He answered simply.

"We all do. So, what instrument do you play, Marty?" Sam turned in his seat to look at me.

"Uh, I play the violin," I answered timidly.

"Are you very good?" Sam wondered.

"Um, well, I don't know. I'm sorta out of practice, but I started playing when I was eight," I replied. Sam chuckled.

"I'll take that as a yes." His tone was warm, despite his previous distrust. It made me smile, maybe I was winning him over.

"Okay, my turn," Dean spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"What's with the hair? I mean, that's a lot of hair. Why don't you cut it?" He asked. I bit my lip and nodded, trying to think of an acceptable answer.

"Well, my mom loved to braid hair, and my sisters, Bree and Jackie, hated having long hair so they cut theirs real short and my mom couldn't do anything with it, but I liked having my hair long. My mom would spend hours working on my hair, that was our time together. See, she always got so sad when I would cut it and now I just-" I stopped and looked at the floor of the Impala. "Now I just can't bring myself to cut it. Not without her. I don't want to make her sad. It's all I've got left of her." With a start, I realized I was crying and quickly wiped my tears away with my sleeve.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" I cut Dean off.

"It's okay." It had to be.

"Well, what about the color, what's that about? Or does this have a tragic story behind it too?" Dean asked, trying to make a joke. I cracked a smile.

"Oh, I've always wanted to have it like this. I love the fading colors, so hiding from a blood thirty vampire just gave me the motivation to actually go through with it," I shrugged.

"So, what's your real hair color?" Dean pressed.

"Black."

"Wait, that's natural?" He sounded stunned.

"Yeah!" I giggled a little. "The black is real, only the grey and white parts are dyed."

"You're lucky, black hair is cool. Looks good on you too."

"Thanks’ Dean."

That was when we passed the small, wooden sign on the side of the road. The paint was old, faded by the sun, and chipping away but I knew what the words said.

Now leaving Copper Harbor We'll get you back soon enough!

As I watched the town I'd called home for so many years fade from my view, I found myself hoping that I'd never return. I looked forward at the road ahead of me and the hunters beside me.

I looked to the future.

The future was looking pretty good.

~See, I had this crazy dream last night, this man he talked to me He told me everything that's good and bad about my history

He told me you are, you are the future

And the future looks good The future looks good to me~

Lyrics from: The Future Looks Good by One Republic

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kpophours · 4 years

Text

One Love || part III

➵ SF9: Youngbin x fem. reader / series, werewolf AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing, mentions of alcohol, sexual suggestiveness

➵ word count: 5.1k

previous. | next.

On Tuesday evening, you left work with only a few minutes to spare until your appointment with Youngbin, so you had to hurry to make it on time. This time, the front entrance was illuminated when you arrived and you saw Youngbin shuffling through some papers, broad back turned to you. You quickly parked your car, got out of it and made your way towards the office. It was icily cold this night and you sighed contently when you opened the entrance door and were greeted by a welcoming gush of warm air. Youngbin whirled around upon hearing you enter, immediately beginning to smile, which you softly returned.

"Hi, Youngbin - sorry I'm late.", you greeted him, rubbing your frozen hands together - your gloves hadn't been in any of the last unpacked boxes and you hadn't come around to purchase new ones yet.

Youngbin looked at the clock and then back at you. "It's 7pm sharp.", he said and raised one eyebrow, "So you're actually perfectly punctual."

"Oh. I thought... Well, I've probably made good time driving here, then." You grinned and handed him your car keys, "Sooo, should I just leave and come back later or...?"

"You can wait in here, if you want to - but you can also come with me and learn a few things about your car, if you’d like." At the prospect of spending time with you, Youngbin’s heart began to pound fast against his ribcage and he quickly tried to hide his shaking hands by crossing his arms in front of his chest, unintentionally displaying his well-toned muscles in the process.

Your gaze quickly fluttered from his face to his arms and back again. "I- uh, sure, learning new stuff is always a good idea.", you murmured and blushed, clearing your throat in an attempt at trying not to seem too affected by Youngbin’s body proportions. He in turn tried his best to hide the smirk creeping on his face and gestured towards the door, following you out of the front office and to your car.

"So, this is it.", you said, pointing at the black VW golf.

"It?", Youngbin sounded almost offended, "This is an old lady, not an it!" You laughed, "Oh no, I'm sorry. I haven't had time to come up with a name yet. I will give it one very soon, I promise!"

Youngbin seemed pleased by that. "Good."

You smiled and slid into the passenger's seat while he took the place behind the steering wheel.

"I'm sure Jaeyoon could help you come up with a name. He names almost everything - especially his plants and Rowoon’s endless cooking utensils.", Youngbin told you while starting the motor and driving the old lady into one of the open garages.

"He does? Oh, that’s kinda adorable though! I think I met him just yesterday - handsome with dimples and quite cheeky, right?", you asked without thinking, blushing at Youngbin’s almost scandalized expression. "Cheeky and dimples, yes. But handsome?", he countered, getting out of the car and lifted it up with the help of a hydraulic ramp.

"Well, he is - just not as handsome as you, I guess.", you replied teasingly, basking in his surprised yet pleased expression.

If only you knew how much you had just managed to surprise him with your flirty statement… He actually didn't know how to reply, so he just smirked at you and, after putting on some work gloves, finally had a look at your car.

"Mhm yes, Hwi was right - the steering mechanism isn’t fully working thanks to a rusty wire. But it's nothing major, so no need to worry.", he explained, "See that?"

You quickly joined him under the car, ducking your head out of reflex - even though that wasn't really necessary as even Youngbin could stand at his normal height.

"I just see... wires and stuff.", you confessed, scratching your head and squinted to try and see what he was seeing. Youngbin laughed at your expression. "Well, I guess that's what it looks like for an untrained eye. But see here, there's a loose and rusty wire, right?" You took another step towards the handsome man to get a better look at the underside of your car and his breath caught when he noticed your sudden proximity. "Ahhh yes. Even without glasses I can see that wire!", you finally exclaimed proudly, grinning up at Youngbin. When you realized how close you stood as well, your eyes got even bigger and you hastily took a step back.

"Even without glasses, I'm impressed. Maybe I should hire you as our new helping hand, what do you think?", Youngbin said, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. You laughed. "I could never do that to Inseong, I'm sure he would be heartbroken if I’d just leave him like that."

Youngbin nodded thoughtfully. "Fair enough."

You took another step back, emerging from underneath the car again. "I think I'll better let you work in peace now.", you said, looking around the garage, "Or can I do anything to help?"

"Not really, but thanks. You can go to the office if you want to - it's a lot warmer inside.", Youngbin suggested, making you pout. "And here I was thinking you liked my company.", you sighed deeply. Youngbin seemed to miss the irony in your voice, as he quickly emerged from under the car as well, looking a bit taken-aback. "Of course I like your company! I just don't want you to get bored or cold." You giggled at his apologetic expression. "I was just joking. But good to hear you like my company." With that, you winked at him and he rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "And I thought our chaos line was cheeky...", he muttered, disappearing under the car again.

"I heard that!", you said.

"Good." But his voice was laced with humor and you found yourself smiling again - something you seemed to be doing 24/7 in Youngbin’s presence. If you were being honest... you liked him, even though you had only met him twice so far. But his steady, courteous manner, laced with that quiet, slightly sarcastic and teasing humor was just so attractive in your eyes! It also helped that he was more than easy on the eyes of course - you really wanted to touch his jet black hair, just to find out if it truly felt as soft as it looked. It probably smelled amazing too.

"Okay, keep it easy.", you reminded yourself quietly, but Youngbin seemed to be blessed with perfect hearing: "Keep what easy?"

Your eyes widened and you were scrambling for an explanation. "Uhhh nothing. I was just talking to myself."

"You're rather talking to yourself even though I'm here too?"

There it was again, that humor you already liked so well. "I just don't want to interrupt your quality time with my old lady here.", you replied, crossing your arms in front of the chest and smiling slightly. Youngbin chuckled. "I can divide my attention and time between the two of you." At this, you gasped theatrically. "So you're cheating on me with her? Or on her with me?"

This time, he really laughed. "Friends share, don't they?"

"Pff, not my boyfriend though."

"Ohh, so I'm your boyfriend now?"

Your cheeks were flaming red by now, you were sure of it. "No, you're the old lady one's."

"Oh, really? And here I was, thinking we two could have a future together.", Youngbin continued to tease, making you chuckle.

"Well, who knows how long the old lady's still alive, right?", you say, tone of voice cheeky.

"Oh NO!" Youngbin suddenly shouted, running out from underneath said lady, looking quite shocked. "What, what is going on?!", you asked in a panicked voice, quickly looking towards your car, pretty much expecting it to go up in flames or explode any second now.

"I think that's it... the old lady... she is gone. I can't do anything for her anymore. We should just bury her and continue to live our lives like she surely would have wanted us to - together." He looked, expression serious and grave, only the tiniest glint of mischief in his eyes betrayed his acting.

"Youngbin!" You shoved him playfully, giggling, "You really scared me!"

He laughed as well and shrugged, winking at you. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. But what do you think... Would you like to get dinner with me sometime? I promise, I won't tell the old lady." He held his breath, almost fearfully awaiting your response. A soft smile lit up your face and you immediately nodded in agreement. "I would like that, yes. But only if the old lady approves." Youngbin grinned, turning around to your car. "You're okay with that, right? I mean, I just fixed you, so you kind of owe me something..." He fell silent, pretending to listen to something. When he looked at you again, he nodded. "She's okay with it."

You giggled again - an absolutely endearing sound in Youngbin’s opinion - and nodded too. "Great. So... how about this Saturday?"

He smiled. "I'll pick you up at around 7pm?"

"Well, that just seems to be our time."

He laughed again and nodded. "Apparently. Your old lady is finished, by the way - she's as good as new. Or as new as an old car like her can be." At this, you looked surprised. "Oh wow, that was fast!"

"What can I say? I am very fast.", Youngbin said proudly and you grinned.

"Well, I certainly hope not in every aspect." You wiggled both eyebrows at him and he let out a snort, not having expected your innuendo. "I haven't had any complaints yet.", he replied cheekily and you raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't really have to mean anything."

"Fair enough. I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself, if you want to know the truth."

Your eyes glinted mischievously. "Maybe I will."

Youngbin gulped, trying to ignore the shiver that ran down his spine. Here he was, flirting like crazy with his mate and he was enjoying every second of it. And now he actually had a date with you - only a few days away.

He could hardly wait.

You were invited for dinner at the pack's house for Thursday evening that week - and everyone was highly anticipating to finally meet you. So far, Inseong, Youngbin, Hwiyoung, Rowoon and Jaeyoon had gotten to meet you, and the rest felt slightly left out. Youngbin still hadn't told anyone that you were his mate - it just never seemed to be the right time, and he wanted his pack to meet you without any bias for the first time. He also wanted to see how your date on Saturday would go.

… All in all, he always found different excuses not to tell his brothers. Inseong was also always gushing about you, telling the others what a great mind you possessed and how your many ideas had already improved his own work greatly. Youngbin would never admit it, but this made him incredibly jealous - that the other man could see you, his mate, every day at work. He knew he was being stupid and unreasonable, but he just couldn't help it.

"You do realize that she might not like Korean food at all, right?", Dawon said to Rowoon on Thursday evening, about an hour before you were supposed to arrive, observing the slightly younger man handling several different pans at the same time and looking a bit stressed out. "You do know that a frying pan is an amazing weapon against annoying brothers, right?", Rowoon replied, not even bothering to look at the other man. Dawon pouted. "Hey, I was just trying to help!"

"With what? Unnecessary commentary? I'm sure Y/N will like the food - and now it's too late to make something else anyway. So be quiet and leave me alone." With that, he simply ignored Dawon, even though the slightly older man continued to whine.

"Dawon - out, now.", Inseong immediately ordered the younger man when he entered the kitchen.

"Why?! I didn't do anything!" Dawon pouted even more and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Inseong just sighed in exasperation. "I know exactly what you did, so don't argue and just go. You and your brothers can set the dinner table."

Mumbling something unintelligible, Dawon finally left the kitchen. "Thanks.", Rowoon said, shooting Inseong a quick look and smile. "No problem - I'm the one who has to thank you for cooking. If I would have had to cook tonight, I probably would have poisoned everyone on accident or something like that." The taller man just snorted while continuing to stir the noodles. "Still, can I help you with anything?", Inseong offered, gazing around at the many pots and pans.

"Nope, I'm almost finished. Y/N said she'll bring dessert, right?", Rowoon answered, tasting some of the soup.

"Yes - cake, I think."

"Good, because I really don’t have the time to prepare something right now."

The older man just nodded and slowly backed out of the kitchen. Better to leave Rowoon alone, he always liked the solidarity while cooking - except for when his mate, Tori, was there. She was always allowed to help and taste everything - but that was the thing about being mates: different rules applied.

You were balancing two giant containers with cake as well as your bag towards the car, desperately trying not to trip over anything. That would be truly fatal as the two cakes you had made earlier this day would probably end up on the ground. You somehow managed to open your passenger's door, softly placing both cakes and your bag onto the seat. Then, you walked around the car, slid into the driver's seat and started your motor without any problems. You tried to follow the directions Inseong had given you earlier that day, but after some time you were pretty sure you were lost. It was already dark and everything looked pretty much the same to you - you had long left the city district, driving on small forest roads as Inseong’s house was located somewhere around here. "Damn it. Where the hell is this stupid road he was talking about?!", you whispered to yourself, tuning down the music a notch. After unsuccessfully driving around for some more minutes, you finally sighed and called your boss/friend. "Y/N? Is everything alright?", Inseong said after picking up the phone. His brothers immediately fell silent when they heard him say your name, all attention on him and the phone call.

"Yep. Or well... not completely. I think I'm lost?", you said, voice a bit wobbly.

Inseong snorted and ruffled his hair in an exasperated manner. "How the hell did you get lost? I gave you the directions!"

"And I tried to follow them! But everything looks the same - there are trees everywhere and small roads and... Well, I have no clue where I am to be honest. Why didn’t you just text me the address, then I could have used my navigation system?!"

"I can do that now.", he proposed, but you just sighed: "My internet connection isn't working that far out into the forest, so my navigation system won't work."

"Well... What am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know! But I do not want to die so young in the middle of some forest, just because my boss didn't text me his address like every other normal human being living in the 21st century would have done!"

Jaeyoon and Dawon had by now begun to giggle uncontrollably - everyone could hear your words thanks to their wolf hearing, and most had smiles on their faces.

"Okay, okay. We'll figure it out. Do you see anything... I don't know, like a landmark around you?", Inseong asked, beginning to walk up and down the living room and gnawing on his lower lip.

"There are literally only trees around me, Inseong."

"So no landmark."

"I’m going to kill you if I make it out alive."

Chani sniggered. "I already like her very much.", he said quietly to Hwiyoung, who grinned as well. "Oh yeah, same, bro."

Youngbin raised an eyebrow, trying to control his jealousy - they were his brothers and didn't even know you were his mate, but still, he didn't like them talking about you like that. You were his.

… Even though you were really funny.

"Can you send me your location?"

"Do you have Alzheimer’s?! I have already told you, I have no internet connection out here! How the hell am I supposed to send you my location, Mr. Smartass?"

"Fair enough. I think I'll just rally some of the boys to look for you. Just... Don't move? Park the car on the side of the road and wait. We'll come and get you."

"Park the car in the middle of a dark forest, great. That's the perfect setting for a horror movie. If I die, I'll come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your miserable life." And with that, you simply hung up, leaving Inseong to silently gape at his phone, a slightly incredulous smile curving his lip upwards. "Sooo... who wants to go look for her?", he finally said, turning around to his pack.

"I'll go.", Youngbin immediately offered, earning himself some curious glances from his brothers. "Me too.", Rowoon stepped in, Hwiyoung following immediately.

"Good, I'll go, too. The rest of you - stay here and don't do anything stupid. Jaeyoon, Dawon, keep an eye on them, will you?", Inseong pleaded, looking at the chaos line, now the eldest staying behind. Both smiled and nodded while the others protested, persisting they didn’t need any supervision. Inseong just ignored them, shrugging on his winter coat and boots while grabbing his car keys to finally follow the others out of the house and towards the parked cars.

Meanwhile, you sat inside your cozily warm car, playing soft music and cursing your terrible sense of direction yet again. To be honest, you should have just asked Inseong to text you the address - but you’d been so busy with work today that you had simply forgotten to ask him. So now you were waiting in a dark, misty forest, hoping for one of the guys to find you. You closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the seat and quietly began to hum along to the music. You just hoped you didn't have to wait too long - it was definitely a bit scary being alone in an unknown, dark forest.

Youngbin drove his jeep through the dark forest, not worried in the slightest - he knew he would be able to find his mate quickly. That was one of the many benefits of your bond: he knew your scent and always felt some kind of connection, no matter the distance between you two. His brothers wouldn't even have had to come with him - but as they didn't know about you being his mate yet, he hadn't been able to say anything against it. Youngbin turned on some music, feeling for the connection inside him. You weren’t too far away from him, he noticed - you had probably just made one wrong turn, resulting in you getting lost. It only took him a few minutes to pull up beside your car. You were deeply huddled into your padded leather jacket, both eyes were closed and you were singing along to some music, when he hopped out of his jeep and knocked on your window.

You jumped, eyes widening in shock before you recognized him. You immediately opened the car door, almost falling over your own feet in the process of quickly getting out of the driver's seat. "Youngbin! Thank God.", you said, throwing your arms around the taller man without really thinking about it. He stiffened for a second before sliding his arms around your back, hugging you close and chuckling slightly.

"Hey there. You're alright?", he said softly, his brown eyes gazing down at you with slight mischief in them. You quickly freed yourself again and smiled, a tad embarrassed. "Yes, I'm okay. I'm sorry to have driven you out here in the cold, but I really have no clue where I am at the moment."

Youngbin grinned. "You're actually pretty close to our home - I guess you just missed the road and drove onwards. Just follow me with your car, we'll be there in no time."

You nodded, thankful, and slipped back into the driver's seat, starting the motor. Youngbin did so too and soon, you were driving towards the big farmhouse where the pack lived while their alpha quickly informed his brothers that they could abandon their search and come home too.

Everyone was already waiting for you and Youngbin when you opened the front door, the latter balancing both cakes in his arms. "You're alive!", Inseong said sarcastically, enclosing you in his arms and hugging you softly.

"Yeah, no thanks to you though. I would've probably died out there in the cold if Youngbin hadn't showed up and rescued me.", your voice sounded muffled from being pressed against his chest and your boss just chuckled, letting you go and taking you coat. “Yeah, sorry about that. I'll never let you drive anywhere alone ever again."

You rolled your eyes at him before looking at the other men assembled in front of you, beginning to smile a bit shyly. "Uh, hi. I'm sure I've just made an amazing first impression on you guys. I'm Y/N - Inseong’s new scientific assistant. Very competent in our field of research, not so much with directions unfortunately.", you introduced yourself, earning yourself some chuckles and laughter from everyone. Youngbin gazed at you with admiration in his eyes - he simply loved your laid-back sense of humor. Inseong noticed his gaze, raising one eyebrow but refraining from commenting on it - yet.

"Well, if no one wants to go first... I'm Dawon." With that, Dawon stepped forward, shaking your hand and smiling warmly at you. After that, everyone else came forward as well - first Taeyang, then Zuho and lastly Chani. Hwiyoung, Rowoon and Jaeyoon already knew you, so they just smiled, or, in Rowoon’s case, hugged you.

"It's really nice to meet you all. Thanks for inviting me tonight - your house looks amazing, by the way. Very cozy.", you said and smiled at everyone before Inseong shoved everyone into the shared living and dining room while Youngbin quickly followed Rowoon into the kitchen to bring in the food.

When both men entered the dinner room, everyone was talking animatedly - Youngbin took the chance to watch you for a few seconds. You were deep in conversation with Zuho, Jaeyoon and Dawon were screaming and laughing at each other, while the youngest of the pack, Taeyang, Hwiyoung and Chani were getting on Inseong’s nerves, talking about some upcoming university projects they had to do and didn't want to: "But having you, a professor, at our university, as a part of our family, should have some benefits!", Chani complained and pouted, while the other two nodded vigorously.

"Nope. Not happening. It's not even my faculty! And I'm sure as hell not going to ask some colleague to postpone your project, just because you're lazy.", Inseong said strictly, taking a sip of his beer. "Unfair.", Taeyang commented and Hwiyoung looked around until his eyes settled on you, who was just laughing at something Zuho had just said.

"Y/N!", Hwiyoung yelled, making you jumped. You turned around, looking somewhat alarmed.

"Can you put in a good word for us, so our professor gives us more time for our research project?" Hwiyoung looked at you with what he probably thought were cute puppy eyes. You just raised both eyebrows. "Oh, so you guys suck at time management?", you answered, looking slightly amused. Chani pouted even harder: "Not true! We just had a lot to do these past weeks..."

"Really? Tell me about it, come on - entertain me.", you demanded, propping you chin up on one hand and smirking slightly. "Well...", Chani thought hard, gazing helplessly at his brothers, "We... Had to... Do stuff..."

"Well then - learning by burning." And with that, you turned around again and continued your conversation with Zuho, who looked rather amused by your words to the youngest ones.

"She's really perfect for you.", Chani said to Inseong, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking slightly put-off. "Yep, we sure make a great team.", the oldest man just grinned and toasted towards you, who just smiled at him.

Youngbin watched all this with an uneasy feeling. He knew that Inseong wasn't interested in you - well, at least not in the way he himself was, but it still unsettled him to hear about them being "a great team". He wanted to be a great team with you! You were his mate! The wolf in him wanted to mark you as his and his alone and a snarl was etching its way out of his throat - but he forcefully suppressed it.

"Food!", Rowoon finally yelled over the noise, bringing in the big pot full of Bulgogi, and Youngbin quickly following with bowls of rice. Your eyes glinted at all the delicious looking food. "Wow, that looks and smells amazing, Rowoon!", you complimented the chef, who immediately began to smile, somewhat embarrassed. "As long as it also tastes good...", Dawon murmured, earning himself a smack against the back of his head from the cook. "Rowoon’s food always tastes good.", Taeyang protested, earning himself a smile. Youngbin helped to fill the plates of everyone before sitting down on the only empty chair left - between Dawon and Hwiyoung and directly opposite you.

How was he supposed to concentrate on eating when he just wanted to stare at you all evening?

He sighed inwardly, looking down at the delicious smelling food on his plate. He really had to calm down if he didn't want the others to immediately notice that you were his mate.

He tried hard not to gaze at you all through dinner, beginning to talk to Hwiyoung about some repairs he had to do this week at the shop. He still noticed the stolen glances you threw his way ever so often, and felt the wolf inside him purr at your attention. After the main course had been demolished, you brought in your cakes - they smelled of chocolate, red wine, cinnamon and other spices, and everyone rushed to get the biggest slice.

"Oh God, this is the best cake I've ever had!", Dawon exclaimed happily, speaking around his full mouth. You snorted, chewing silently and smiling while you were gazing around at them all. You truly liked every single one of them already - you couldn’t explain it, but you had a feeling of just... fitting in with them, feeling truly at home and ease. You had also managed to talk with every single one of them so far - well, except for Youngbin who seemed to ignore you, not even looking at you once.

What was going on with him? You’ve had so much fun talking to each other yesterday and he had seemed to be interested in you - or had you read the signs... wrong? You sighed and took a sip of red wine - you only allowed yourself one glass tonight as you still had to drive home later.

You were just laughing at something Jaeyoon was telling you, when you finally felt Youngbin’s gaze on you - you quickly looked up and were proven right, his dark eyes seemed to burn into yours and you swallowed hard, breath hitching. Inseong beside you looked at you in a funny way, so you quickly averted you eyes again, trying to continue to listen to Jaeyoon’s story - even though you still felt the burning gaze of Youngbin on yourself. You could hardly wait for your date this Saturday.

The evening passed way too quickly for everyone's liking and soon, it was time for you to leave - all of you had to work or go to university tomorrow and as it was already way past midnight, you thought it was best to leave.

"You can stay the night!", Dawon whined when he saw you grab your coat, "We have a ton of rooms we don't use! We can stay up for a bit and watch a movie together! Pleeease?" He made huge puppy eyes at you and pouted, making you laugh while you finished wrapping the scarf around your neck. "Another time, I promise. But I'm tired and still have to try to find my way back home - tomorrow's a work day too. Buut... I'm free tomorrow night, if you're up for it?" You raised one eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"YES!"

You giggled at Dawon’s loud yell. "Great. We'll text about the exact time and movies, okay?"

"Perfect - who else wants to join us? I'll make a group chat!", the cheerful man offered enthusiastically, phone already in his hand. Jaeyoon, Rowoon and Zuho immediately agreed to join while the others excused themselves, all having dates with their girlfriends/mates. Inseong and Taeyang had already agreed to go out with some other friends that evening - so only Youngbin was left without any excuse. He quickly agreed to think about it, even though he already knew he was definitely going to join the movie night, just to be around you some more. He just didn't want to seem too eager in front of his pack.

After the plan for tomorrow was finally settled, you were allowed to leave. You smiled one last time at them all, waved and left, the door closing behind you with a loud thump. A few seconds later, the pack heard you start the car and drive off. Inseong turned around to look at his pack. "So?"

"I LOVE HER!", Dawon immediately yelled, Jaeyoon beside him nodding vigorously.

"She's really nice.", Taeyang commented.

"I think it's mean she didn't want to help us with our project.", Chani intercepted, earning himself some glares from his older pack members, "I'm just joking! I like her too."

"Good - I also think she fits right in with us.", Inseong said, smiling in a slightly relieved matter. Youngbin didn't say anything, even though he felt the other man look at him while he said that. He just turned around and excused himself, saying he was tired. He took a quick shower, and, when he entered his room again, heard his phone vibrate on his nightstand.

Yawning and ruffling his wet hair, Youngbin looked at the screen:

Youngbin just grinned at the exchange - he was really looking forward to your movie night.

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sellingmysoulforbts · 5 years

Text

You're having second thoughts about your career choice. BTS x Reader Reaction

Genre: mild angst, fluff. College AU. Gender neutral.

Warnings: strong language, self degradation.

as requested by @erraticsoul

A/N: I just wanna say that it is okay to change your career path. You're really young when you are forced to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life and we sometimes make mistakes. The most important thing is that you are happy.

Kim Seokjin

He was there for you, every single time you needed that extra support. This madness began when you started having trouble with some of the subjects that you had to take in college. Thoughts like 'how can I become a professional if I can't solve this simple exercise?' clouded your brain. Jin came on time only to find you crying over your homework.

"Tell me, how am I supposed to do this my entire life?"

"By giving your best, like I know you do, and if that's not enough then it's probably not what you should be doing" he would answer.

Then he proceeded to tell you one of his terrible jokes about the subject your having trouble with. Like if you weren't having it with chemistry he'd go "hey, are you made of copper and tellurium? 'Cause you're CuTe" and if that didn't work, he'd always come to you with a new plate he's made in class because he definitely a culinary arts major.

Min Yoongi

He was confused, like he didn't get how you felt at all. Since he was really young he new what his goals were and started working really hard to achieve them. You, on the other hand, have thought about every single career path, none of them seemed to completely fulfill you. Like you went from wanting to be a model to a rocket scientist in the span of two months, so you knew as soon as you filled that application form to enter college, with whatever career you had landed eyes on at the moment you weren't going to stick to it. Yoongi would try so hard to help you find something you like and would like doing for the rest of your life, just like he did.

"Okay, how about being a teacher?" He suggested one time.

"But I'll have to know the subject first, so what can I teach?"

"Never mind" he said.

He would just enroll you in a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with your current major, just to see if you'd like any of it.

Wanting to become a producer was his lifelong dream, the feeling he got every time he got a step closer was something Yoongi wanted you to experience as well, so he'd never give up on you.

Jung Hoseok

He would be the one to notice and call you out on it. Hobi was a dance major, so he had practice almost every day and you'd come, even if it was late or skip classes to see him. At first he didn't think much about it, and he appreciated the effort you were putting into the relationship, but then you stopped coming like once a week or just skipping a class to have lunch together and began coming like three times a week, and he would see you around campus with friends when he knew you had class.

"Hey, I saw you today walking out of campus" he said one day, after he was done with practice and you were still there.

"Oh, really? I didn't see you, I'd have said hi. At what time did you see me?"

"While you were supposed to be in class" he answered, trying not to sound mad.

"Yeah, the professor cancelled it last minute, so I didn't really have time to tell you" you genuinely thought he was jealous because you were hanging out with boys, but he wasn't. You'd you really be here so late if you were cheating on him? No, and he knew you would never, but he was concerned.

"And has he cancelled classes all week, and last one?" He inquired.

His tone gave away he was implying that you had been skipping class for the whole month.

"No" you answered softly.

"Is everything okay?"

"No" you answered again. He took your hands as a way to show you his support. "Why?" "I just don't feel happy anymore, like when I first got in I was so sure this was what I wanted and now I find it hard and I'm really stressed. I've been looking for other career options and I might change majors so I guess I lost interest and just stopped making an effort to pass" you shrugged, he kissed your hands.

"It's okay. We're still very young and I want you to do something that makes you happy"

Kim Namjoon

You. Felt. Dumb. You were having such a hard time in some classes, and not understanding anything your teacher said. At first you just worked a little harder and visited your professor to ask some questions, but seeing your classmates getting good grades or putting a minimum effort to understand, made you feel out of place and dumb, like actually stupid. Namjoon was an extremely intelligent human being, and that's no secret. He was an English major, and an outstanding student.

He was going to surprise you, you had been busy all week with schoolwork and he knew how hard you worked so he gave you your space, but it was Friday and he missed you like crazy. He didn't expect, when he walked into your apartment, to see you crying over your homework. Like actually balling your eyes out. Your brain was so chemically imbalanced at the moment that you barely felt arms wrapping around your sobbing form.

He managed to calm you down a little bit, and finally asked what's wrong.

"I can't do it Namjoon, I actually am incapable of doing it. I'm just a stupid piece of shit who can't even solve her homework. Why am I even trying at this point? I'm going to fail because my brain does not have the capacity to understand this subject" you basically yelled out and broke down crying again. He was so pained to see you like that and hearing that horrible things from your mouth broke his heart.

"Shh, don't say that baby, you are not dumb" "of course you'd say that, mister my IQ is 148, I only get As with minimum effort. I've being working on this thing for a week. A WEEK, and I can't do it. My teacher is sick of me for going every single day to ask him something." You were getting angry at this point, not with him but with yourself. Maybe throw in your parents as well for making you this way, but not at him, never at him, even though your words proved otherwise.

"Baby, look at me." He said. You shook your head embarrassed at your attitude.

He squatted right in front of you and took your face in his hands, dried your tears and smiled.

"You are not dumb, not because you have to work a little harder does it mean you're less capable of doing something. Besides, you're so far from stupid. When I look at you I see a wonderful human being, smart and kind, and that's what I love about you. Your perspective on the world, and your unique way of understanding things." He told with a sincere voice and that made you smile a little. "Also, I do put effort into my work but I like what I do so much that I doesn't feel like it, now tell me, do you like what you're doing?" He asked. " I don't know anymore" "okay how about this? Let's take a break right now, we go grab something to eat, we get back, cuddle, watch a movie. Just relax and not think about college for a while. And we can discuss this in the morning with a fresh mind."

Park Jimin

He was mostly sad, you didn't choose this for yourself, it was your parents dream. He would just try and comfort you, by hugging you and whispering words of encouragement. You were sad, angry and scared. You couldn't do what you wanted because your parents didn't support you but you also didn't want to disappoint them.

"I'm so sick of this Jimin, I don't think I can keep doing this." You said one day, you had to study for your upcoming tests but finding motivation was hard.

He couldn't fully comprehend your dilemma, his parents were super supportive.

"I know baby, but the semester is almost over."

"And then comes the next, and one after that, and on and on, not to mention the years ahead of me of working in this" you wanted to cry, just let out your frustration.

"Hey, how about, you start taking classes for what you really want, until you build up the courage to talk to them." He suggested. "I don't know I'm so scared." Your voice broke a little. His caring instincts kicking in immediately, so he hugged you. "It okay, I'm sure what they want is for you to be happy and have a safe future financially, that's why you're here, but you can prove to them that you'll succeed doing whatever you want, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. I believe in you, and besides I'm quite thankful to your parents for picking that for you or we might have never met."

"You're right" and with him by your side you had the motivation you needed.

Kim Taehyung

It was hard, Tae, your boyfriend, always seemed to have more free time, and enjoy his college experience way more than you did. He was one of the few things you were grateful for, during your time in college. The little study dates you had were like the only way to get you to open a book, and they were a 2x1 deal for him. Taehyung was an art history student and it required to read a lot so he could do his school work and spend time with you. You weren't irresponsible or anything but you started to wonder if you chose your career right, because the lack of motivation was really dragging you down. You were in the coffee shop you usually went with Taehyung to study just contemplating how you wanted your life to look in ten years, when he came.

"Hey" he said. "Hi" you answered still a little distraught. "Did you order?" You nodded in response. "Is everything o-" he started but you soon interrupted him "how did you know what you wanted to study?" "well my school took us to a museum for a school trip once, and I was fascinated by the art, but also intrigued as to what led the painters to do such masterpieces and I guess I got hooked on that. Why?" "I'm just not sure with what I'm doing,I never had a revelation moment so I just went with what sounded the least unpleasant at the moment" "Well how about we finish here and we can go find some counselling for you?" "You think I should change majors?" "Baby, when was the last time you felt happy and satisfied with your work and what you learned?" He asked and you grew quiet at that. "Exactly. What you do for the rest of your life has to be something that you enjoy and you're clearly not enjoying this." So you did just that, found help to discover what makes you happy.

Jeon Jungkook

I mean he would be kinda disappointed that you didn't told him first thing and that he had to discover it for himself. You were thinking and rethinking if you had made the right choice, so you turned yourself into a little help from the internet, trying thing from quizzes all the way to astrological birth charts, of course when he wasn't around.

As you were spending the weekend together doing homework and watching movies, he stumbled upon a word he didn't quite know the meaning of. He was studying animation, and taking classes for film production, but he was trying to do some homework for an English class.

"Babe, can I use your phone real quick? Mine ran out of battery" he asked. "Sure, what for?" "I just want to Google this word" he said and have you that bunny smile, you handed him the phone unblocked, not worrying in the slightest. He got it,and quickly clicked on the navigator, as he was about to type he peeked at your search history, things like 'how to choose your major', 'how do I know if I made the right decision','best careers based on your zodiac sign' that last one made him chuckle but he was generally preoccupied, because something was definitely wrong. He made a mental note to talk to you about it. Jungkook quickly made the research and completed his task. He then approached you, to give it back to you. You were just in the couch reading something, as he handed you the phone with a smile you sensed something off. "So, what's the best career for a virgo?" He wondered. It took a minute for it to click. "Kook…" you trailed of, not sure as to what to say. He sat down next to you. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" "I just- I was.. am so confused. I believe I chose what I did for a reason but now I'm not so sure and it been going on for a while. I guess I didn't want to bother you with stupid problems like that." You told him. He just shook his head. "That's why I am your boyfriend, so you can come to me with whatever is bothering you and we can fix it together cause we're a team, and it works the other way around too." "You're right, sorry" "It's okay, but promise me you will from now on" " I will, I promise" you smiled at him and he answered back "now that that's out of the way, let's find your perfect major" and with a kiss on your cheek, you then proceed to go through a lot of lists and quizzes a lot of websites suggested, together.

a/n: I’m so sorry this took so long but the scenario really hit home and I got distracted, anyways i hope you enjoy it and like it.

gifs not mine

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whatthejwang · 4 years

Text

I wanted to take some time to reflect on my thoughts and write about them.

Sorry for not appreciating you more. You deserve so much more than I gave you. Sorry I became someone you couldn’t love anymore. I spent too much time focused on the things that I thought mattered but instead I was drifting further away from you. I was self-centered and arrogant, and I used you as a crutch to carry me and validate myself. One of my biggest regrets is using you to justify my 2018 Fall semester. You're right. It wasn't your fault. I ruined that semester for myself. I'm sorry for doing that to you. I spent so much time feeling bad about myself and never did anything about it. I spent so much time doing that, I didn’t have enough time to pay attention to you and your needs. I was selfish. I just kept lying to myself, telling myself that I needed time to relax instead of going over to your place. I let you come over to spend time with me while I did who knows what instead of cherishing what little time we had in our busy schedules. I'm sorry that it always takes you getting fed up with me for me to start changing. I'm sorry that I'm all talk and no action. I want to reevaluate my own life equipped with the understanding that I have gained. I want to start being true to you and myself again.

I want to work on myself and us in the Fall. Sometimes I say things are impossible, because I don’t believe in “nonsense”. When I saw that our schedules didn’t line up, I made plans. But, I was so stupid so I just skated by on the easy answer and said, “I guess we won’t see each other” when deep down, I knew that I could damn well get off my ass and go over to your place and cook you dinner, have some wine, and play a board game. I'm sorry about that.

I know that my lifestyle has been a large issue for you. My energy level has defnitely decreased since we first met, and I have gained a lot of weight since then. I feel tired a lot more often and lead a sedentary lifestyle because of it. I don't want to make excuses to you saying that I have been lacking as a boyfriend because I gained weight and feel bad about myself. I'm making it a goal to get back in shape this summer. Not just for you, but also for me. I miss when I had an abundance of energy and my body felt like it was healthy. I'm pretty sure you know, post workout high is real. I felt like I had so much more energy in the Fall that we met. I also know that I'm kind of a slob. It's a really bad habit of mine, and I'm trying to change it. I hope you'll stick around to see me throw away my trash in the fall. I also want to work on my mental health. I haven't been in a really good mind state and instead of facing my issues, I've packed them away and let them sit there. I want to take control of my life again and deal with the problems that I've been having. I'm sorry that all of this has had this effect on our relationship and you.

I think that there was something lost in translation in my head when I thought that I wanted to date someone completely different from me. I initially wanted to experience new things and get into new interests. But instead, as time went on, I ended up interpreting that as I can have my interests and she can have hers and that’s ok. I somehow twisted that thought into the idea that I don't need to show interest in what you show interest in. Having that talk to you was very eye-opening when you said all of the things that I like and I was, but I couldn't say anything about you. That is one of the emptiest moments of my life. And I'm deeply and extremely sorry about that. I want to take time to learn about you and your goals an passions. It's not you job and not fair for you to just be my cheerleader. Every time you would plan someone or want to go do something, I would’ve just rather stayed in my room. I was comfortable there. I became too complacent in my life and our relationship to see that I was tearing us apart. I can’t change the fact that I never went stargazing with you after that night in the beach. I can’t change the fact that I couldn’t get the idea that you loved that moment through my head. But trust me when I say that I want that. I realize now that there are experiences that I will never get to have if I don’t do them now, while I’m still young and here. I want to share these moments with you. I want to dance around on the beach at 3 in the morning and stargaze. I want to point at the whale that showed you the goods at the aquarium. I want to take a walk in the park. I want to stomp in puddles. I want to hype you up when you walk out into the room with that new outfit on, or when you cut your bangs, or when you're doing drunken history with your friends. I want to travel to new places and see new things. I want to go see a show at the Fox. I want to lean how to stop chasing the money and start chasing my dreams. I want to sing to you, your music or mine, but mainly Ed Sheeran. I want to slow dance in your room, because that shit is cute, and I love you. I want to cook for your again, good food or bad (I know you would prefer good, but sometimes it just happens). I want to talk more. Not about our days or what we want in the future. I want to talk about things on your mind, the whimsical ideas. I really miss just talking about nonsense. I want to surprise you with flowers. I want to show you new foods, hopefully ones that you'll want to eat! I want to take out out to so many more anniversaries. I want to send that good morning/ good night text. I want to ride that huge ferris wheel that we see every single time we try to leave campus. I want to get drunk and go watch comedy. I want to go on weekend trips with you, just us two. I WANT TO TAKE YOU ON DATES AGAIN. Not just dates at Chick-fil-A. This list could go on and on so I think you get the idea. If you want to hear more let me know! I want to stop buying your love, and be your love. I understand that just paying for things isn't good enough. I want to stop protecting you and start loving you for who you are. I want to stop taking myself and my life to seriously. I want to work through my own problems, so I can be better for you. I want to take more interest in your goals and aspirations instead of being so wrapped up in mine that I don't pay attention to you at all. I want to hear your plan to create your own company. I want to see that drawing of a snail that you drew an hour ago, no matter how bad you think it is. I want to become friends with your friends. I want to learn how to care for you again. I want to be there for you, no matter how hectic my life gets. I want to stop taking myself so seriously and love you unapologetically. You make me a better person. If I am able to get one last chance from you, I will turn all of the "want to"s into "will"s. You have my word, however much that means to you now. But know that I am adamant to get my life together and be the best I can be.

I’ve had a girlfriend for the last six or seven months, and I understand now that I want a relationship instead of just “having a girlfriend”. I'm sorry again that it took me this long to realize this when we've been arguing about it for the past couple of month. I'm sorry that I have been reluctant to change. I know this puts you in a hard place, and I'm also sorry about that. I want a relationship where we both contribute to create a rich and meaningful bond between us. I want to communicate effectively. I know that you need your space right now, and I understand that. Please do whatever you need to do to be happy. I want that for you. I want you to reunite with your friends, and discover new things about yourself. But, I want to be a part of your life again if all possible. I want to show you who I really am. Who I am out of my shell. Who you fell in love with in the beginning. It's not your job to coerce me out of it, I just needed a wake up call. I don't want to lose you because of my own inadequacies. I know you said that a relationship shouldn't be this hard. Please let me show you that ours isn't. It has been my fault this whole time. I understand and can admit that now. I want to show you what this relationship could be. Like they say, hindsight is 20/20, if I knew that my actions would cause this, I would've faced myself and forced myself to change for the better a lot earlier. I was lost. Very lost. I now see how much this has affected you and I want to make it up to you. Please call me if you need anything, I just want to chat, as friends no strings attached. You can even set up ground rules. Once again, I'm sorry that it had to come to this for me to realize that without you, nothing else really matters that much. Please don’t cut me out of your life. I can and am going to do better. I know that this is all talk right now, but I'm thinking of this post as a road map to what I need to do to be the best me I can be. I hope I can ask you on a date again come fall and show you how far I've come. Until then, please don’t forget about me. You are the most important thing to me, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to understand and appreciate that. I want to be with you, I want to stand by you, and I want to love you. I want to kiss you and hold you. I will be better. I love you. I love you so much, honey-bun.

P.S. Please call me if you see this, I miss chatting with you.

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gklari · 4 years

Text

You asked me once 'how can people kiss for hours? What's the point?'

We were walking along in a park, in a country foreign to both of us, seeking out open-minden youngsters to join our cause. It was never for us: it was for the local members who stole our hearts and we cared for very much, once we have departed that smog and sunshine of Bucharest.

As we made our way through the park, deep in thought, we could get glimpses of people on benches - friends, couples, some embracing. I politely glanced away as we passed one, tangled up, arms and legs splayed, busy with each other. As we turned around the corner, you splurted out the question, which caught me off guard; even more so at the genuine wonder on your face.

For a second, I actually considered giving you an answer - a study of nerves, erogenic zones, stimuli crossed my mind - but I glanced at you, and felt a rush of blood to my face. Oh God, I wanted to kiss you so bad. I have been thinking about it for days, and had I not known you any better, I would have thought you're actually provoking me, but that would never be you, all grace and kindness, valor and honour. You kept going, all innocence, about how some were able to kiss for like three hours, and you never understood, and I was painfully aware of your closeness and how it would take only one turn, one step. I loved you and hated myself for it. For the pang of relief I got when I got to spend two hours with you, cooked a meal with you, could just look at you over the table as you were reading and I was pretending to pay attention. The curve of your mouth, your eyes, your shoulders - I wanted to feel them under my fingers, the muscles flexing as I ran my hands over them, again and again, down your back, back up around your neck, buried in your hair as I explored the rest with my mouth. I was sorry you didn't know, what you were missing out on, but also felt envy, because you didn't long for the inevitable but far future of a marriage and responsibility where we could feel all the beautiful, painful, glorious aspects of physical intimacy, that was just a beginning of the rest of our lives. Just not with each other. You were not mine to take, and certainly never mine to keep. And so I kept quiet, shaking my head, red and suddenly warm all over, but not because of that other couple. It was you.

I never kissed anyone. But in that sliver of a moment, when I was considering to say something, I was vividly imagining how I would kiss you.

***

"So, why do people kiss?"

"Huh?" I turned my head slowly, uncomprehending of what I just heard."What do you mean?"

"Like, some couples kiss for hours. What's the point, I don't get it."

It was a beautiful, sunny March day. Warm, and I was wearing an unneccesary amount of layers, but in that second I swear I started sweating even more.

You were wide eyed, as if genuinely wondering. Unbelievable.

I made a split second decision then - I couldn't stand leaving a question like that, not when I had the close approximity of an answer.

"I mean..." I started, not really sure were I was going with my experience of literal 0 kisses. "The science behind it is that there are certain points, or rather, areas in your body with lots of nerves that stimulate... pleasure. Similar to sex. That's how it feels good. Stimulate the nerves, your brain creates happiness." It was really hot. I swallowed. "I wouldn't know, of course. I never kissed anyone."

I was nervous to look at you, afraid that you'll be horrified by the implication of my words, but when I finally glanced over, you seemed to be thinking about something, brows furrowed. As you looked up, I quickly turned my head back on the path.

"You seem to be really knowledgable, considering." I thought I saw a flicker of a smile, and embarassement washed over me. "I was a curious child," I answered, not really wanting to elaborate on the hours I spent online studying female orgasm and sex.

"I still don't quite understand, though." You added.

I stopped in my tracks. Un-be-lievable. I had known that I had a dirty mind, but this was straight up mean. "Are you saying I'm bad because I want to know pleasure?" I demanded. "Am I unredeemably fallen? Because if that's the case, good luck finding a wife - good luck to your wife, because she's gonna have hell of a hard time being happy if you don't even understand how erogenous zones work!" I was furious. No, I was ashamed. I had always suspected teens in our community not to be so sheltered as they pretended, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was one of the few. Maybe I had an abnormal sex drive. Great.

"Hey." I was staring at the trees just behind you while delivering my entire monologue, unable to meet your eyes, but I snapped back at that. You were looking at me mildly, and a bit...was that amusement? "I'm not saying you're wrong, or bad. It's just something I cannot imagine. But I believe you. I do. Don't you think I think about that? It's scary. I want to make my future wife happy. It's good to hear that someone knows how to." You were looking at me with a glint of laughter in your eyes, but serious, trusting, honest. My heart wrenched.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I shouldn't have said that. You're going to be an amazing husband." I felt guilt blooming in my chest. As I looked at you, your face hopeful but a little lost, I couldn't help it. I stepped in for a hug.

But hesitated. Physical contact was not encouraged in our group, especially between members of the opposite sex. But as I stopped, you leaned in, so we were only centimeters from each other.

"Yes?" The corners of your mouth tucked up as if you couldn't hold back your grin any longer. I lived for that smile. "What makes you say that?"

"You don't have to know." I cleared my throat, suddenly unable to meet your eyes. "Your body will. It's instinct."

I didn't think it was possible for me to go even redder, but I was burning.

I didn't see what happened next, it was only the sensation: infinitely soft, warm lips brushed mine, our noses pressed together a bit awkwardly, the tickle of facial hair leaving a faint trace of a touch on my skin.

I stared, unbelievingly, as you pulled away.

"How was that, for a start?" You asked, face blank.

"Uhhh..." C'mon, you can form a sentence. It's not that complicated. "Yes. I mean, okay, I guess?" Panic started to creep into my voice. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I wanted to." Your answer, as always, simple and clear.

Oh. Oh, okay. Great. You must have seen I was going into crazy mode, and had the decency to look worried for once. "I'm sorry if-"

You never finished the sentence. Unable to bear the look of uncertainty, doubt, pain in your expression, I cupped your face in my hands and kissed you firmly on the mouth. Then again. Then again, for good measure.

"No. I'm sorry. But I'm not going to miss my chance." I muttered hoarsely. Just like me to lose my voice to nerves in a moment like this.

Your pupils expanded rapidly at that. "Okay." He whispered back. We were so close I felt the warmth of your breath. "Tell me what to do."

"Put your hands around my waist." I said, without thinking. Oh, how I've imagined this, ages ago.

You complied. I slid one hand around your shoulder, my long fingers wound into your hair, while with the other hand, I plucked off your glasses so nothing obscured the curve of your lidded eyes, the curtain of long, dark lashes. Then I angled my face so our noses wouldn't be bumping (even though you had such an adorable little Asian nose - round and impish) and leaned into the embrace so our lips met. We took a few seconds and sloppy kisses to find our rhythm, but in the end, I was right. We knew what to do.

It was instinct.

#writing #text #first kiss #fiction #i'm a sucker for a french accent is all i have to say about this

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