― to: judas iscariot, thérèse naccarato.

Hockey Poetry Post 20/?

(Media: The Kiss of Judas by Giotto, Adam Glanzman, Kiss of Judas by the Master Trecentesco of Sacro Specol, photo credit nowhere to be found but here is the link)

Inspired by this video. Judas/Brad & Jesus/Bergy rant can be found here.

just- eddie with a badass, metal reader? and he’s too nervous to talk to her, hes almost intimidated, but then she goes up to him and confronts him abt his stares??? i’m done for.

do you wanna touch me

pairing eddie munson x fem!reader

summary reader is the girl of eddie's dreams and he can't help but stare at her any and every chance he got. he never expected her to call him out in front of his friends

note i am a firm believer in eddie being a total perv lol also abrupt ending sorry i like to tease :p

Eddie was a creep, he knew it. He literally could not help but drool over the girl in his math class, Y/N was like his hottest wet dream. She was always sporting shirts from his favorite bands, her hair always dyed unnatural colors and sometimes if he was lucky she wore a skirt, showing off a huge dnd dragon tattoo on her thigh. When that happened Eddie always had to pick his jaw up off the floor and excuse himself to the bathroom.

Eddie found himself more often than not rubbing one out at the thought of her plush thighs around his neck and his face buried in her pussy, or her tits squished up against his cock with her tonuge gingerly licking the tip -- the latter being his favorite.

One time he had to run to the bathroom to jerk off after math class when she wore one of those devilish skirts and moved her legs, causing Eddie to catch a glimpse of her panties. It was not his proudest moment.

Even Gareth had mentioned that Eddie was obsessed and that if he had the balls he should just go up and talk to her, but as funny as it was to everyone else, Eddie was intimidated. He had never met a girl who liked heavy metal and had tattoos of DND dragons, plus she was drop dead gorgeous.

Thank god for the weekend though. It was the only time he got a break from Y/N and her unknowing curse on him.

He had no intention of swimming, just soaking up the sun with a cigarette and maybe checking out the mom's in bikinis until he saw Y/N across the pool. He felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. "Jesus Christ." He muttered when he was able to breathe again.

Eddie had picked up Gareth, Jeff and Dustin for a day at the pool -- solely Dustin's idea but Eddie would later kiss his feet for it. When they got there they had picked out spots near the gate and Eddie laid out on the chair and pulled out a cigarette, promising to look after they're stuff.

He had thought about asking her to join Hellfire since she'd probably enjoy it but the fear of rejection was too much for him. That and it'd be pretty hard to concentrate on a campaign when Y/N's pretty eyes were on him.

She was wearing a simple black bikini but goddamn, Eddie could see that she had a couple more tattoos -- one on her right breast of a bat with no head, some phrase on her hip bone, and when she turned her back towards him Eddie could see she had little wings right above the waist line of her bottoms.

Jeff and Gareth noticed him drooling over her and decided to follow Dustin to the pool, leaving Eddie a mumbling mess. All he could think about is her tramp stamp and how it contrasted against her wet skin, god Eddie had to fight popping a semi right then and there.

"There a reason your staring at me Munson?" Y/N said through a taunting smile, swaying her hips until she was standing over him. Eddie only held his hands up in defense, "I just, I uh. I mean-" Y/N crossed her arms, making Eddie very aware of how her boobs squished against her arms.

"I just wanted, wanted to-" Eddie couldn't think -- she was so much hotter than Eddie had thought. "Wanted to?" Y/N cocked her eyebrow at him, her fingers tapping against her elbows. "Your tattoos! You got, you got nice tattoos."

She laughed at him and Eddie couldn't help but smile at it, even if she was laughing at him. Y/N decided to sit down in the chair beside him and lean in a little, unknowingly giving him access to see the forbidden valleys of her breasts.

"You're practically drooling, and you're trying to tell me it's because of my tattoos?"

Eddie didn't respond, his brain only focused on the tattoo on her tits which made her grab his chin, forcing him to look at her and continue to mumble out nonsense.

Y/N knew that he had a crush on her, it was a bit pathetic but damn did she think it was cute. She couldn't help but tease.

She leaned closer to him, enough that her perfume clogged his senses, and pressed her lips to his ear, "You know, I got a few more tats underneath my swimsuit if you ever wanna see them."

She licked the shell of his ear causing him to visibly shutter and moan. Eddie grabbed her arm, "I, I got a van." Y/N giggled down at his desperate state. "Hm. I was thinking maybe back at my place later. So I could show you all of my pretty tattoos, and you could take the time to appreciate them."

Her hand was now rubbing up and down his arm giving him goosebumps and his head was so foggy with her presents that Eddie couldn't register what she was insinuating, he just nodded.

When her soft lips pressed against his cheek is when he felt his dick jump at the sudden feeling, "See you then pretty boy." And she was gone, leaving Eddie dazed and with a semi.

Little did he know he wasn't being very secretive about his staring, catching her attention and jumping when she starting storming over to him. Oh shit, he thought before trying to come up with an excuse.

Sexting next door / Sam x Reader

Note : This is my first fic in I don’t know how long, I tried my hardest so I really hope at least someone can enjoy this lol, also might be typos!

Words : 2.4k

Warnings : Sexting, exchanging pictures, dirty dirty talking, talk of oral/penetration/dry humping, swearing, lots of stuff.

The last week had been occupied with a hunt which ended with the three of you searching the woods for an old cemetery, laying all the buried souls to rest. Working with the Winchesters made the gigs easier. You found some joy in their presence, especially around Sammy.

You guys obviously had crushed on eachother, Sammy made the most moves while you took them as innocent jokes. You just didn't want to complicate anything for anyone.

You all had just got back to the motel, while the brothers shared a room like always, you got your own right next door. Your phone sat next to you as you pried off your dirt caked boots, hidden graveyards were something else. The device chimed with Sams assigned ringtone, you grabbed it in eagerness.

"You get settled in?"

You smiled at the text, he knew how to make you feel special even if it's a simple check in. You struggled with a response that sounded natural, typing then deleting, you finally wrote one and went with it.

"Yeah, just got the boots off lol"

"Are you getting anything good on the tv?"

"Nope, nothing"

That was a lie, you haven't even looked at the tv yet, but he didn't know that. You began unbuttoning your grimy top, feeling the cool air nip at your skin while the material still hung on your shoulders. You bit your lip as you typed another text to follow your previous one.

"Finally getting out of these clothes too"

You locked your phone quickly with embarrassment, you couldn't believe what you just sent. He was your friend, but the entire day he had been constantly flirting which made the temptation even harder to resist. The phone chimed after what felt like ages.

"Me too, I was able to get the shower first"

You read the text through squinted eyes, terrified to read his response with fully opened eyes. Your mind trailed to the image of him without anything on, the warm water running down his toned body, it made your heart race.

"Just about to get in"

You nervously pulled at your lip while intently watching the screen.

"Maybe I should hop in too, hot water sounds amazing right now"

"Do it, I'll keep you company ;)"

The wink confirmed it. He was leaving an opening for you to accept or decline before pursuing anything more.

"I'm taking off my clothes right now, what are you doing?"

"Turning the shower on, already undressed"

"I wish I could see that"

He opened it and hasn't responded in a while, you completely fucked it up. You cursed at yourself before seeing the tiny text bubble come up and disappear a few times until one finally came in.

"I wish I could see you take off those jeans, I could not stop staring at your ass today. All I wanted to do was pounce on you, you've been all I could think of."

You gulped at his message, this was would be your first time sexting, you were already loving it. You felt yourself getting excited at his message, reading it over and over. You pulled your shirt off the rest of the way.

"You were looking? That's very unprofessional of you, Sammy. If only I knew, I would've been 'accidentally' grinding against you all day."

Both of your tones suddenly changed, it wasn't the laid back no-period texts you normally exchanged, it was dirty and intriguing. You couldn't wait for him to respond.

"If you had done that, I don't think I would've been able to control myself."

"What would you have done? I would've loved to feel you press against my ass, I'm clenching my thighs just thinking about it."

"I would've pulled you into the nearest room and commanded you to grind against me until you came in your pretty panties."

You groaned at the thought, Sammy made dry humping sound hot, he could probably make any sexual act sound compelling.

"How do you know what panties I wear?"

You found yourself completely wrapped in texting back and forth you forgot about your plans to shower. Deciding to get comfortable, you leaned back onto the comforter. You were invested in where this was going, a shower could wait, unlike this.

"I've done your laundry and seen you in your undergarments before. I think I pretty much know everything about you, Y/N."

"I'm imaging my lace covered pussy grinding against your bulge covered by your boxers. It would feel so good to have you rub against me. I'd be soaking through my panties you could definitely see it dampening both our cloths."

You wanted to get dirtier so you tested the water, you wrote the first thing you thought of. It may have been a little too forward but your lust clouded all rational thinking.

"Jesus. My imagination might not be doing this scenario justice, I think we'd have to try it out next time we see eachother."

The elation in you grew with each suggestion.

"And when will that be?"

"If you keep it up, soon. Have you stripped yet?"

Sam was a great dom, he wanted everything to be in his control and you couldn't help but like it. You could trust him with control.

"I've been so busy with our little daydreams, I forgot I was even going to shower. Laying in bed still partially clothed."

"Take your pants off now, then give your ass a nice spank for me. Make it sting."

You followed his orders, placing the phone to your side as you lifted your hips to remove the jeans. You held the phone again as you flipped, now laying on your stomach, you used your free hand to rub on your cheek before giving it a sharp smack.

"Both are done, I'm thinking this might leave a mark?"

You raised your phone in a rush of confidence, snapping a photo of your ass and the handprint that reddened with time, attaching it to your message, and sending it without any hesitation. The mark was not as big as Sam could do and you dearly wished it was his hand instead.

"Fucking hell Y/N, I was not expecting that. You're making me want to come over right now to fuck you senseless."

"What do I do next? Still have my panties and bra on."

"Take your bra off baby girl, play with your nipples till they're both hard. Pinch them, flick them, be rough with it."

It was easy for you to follow his words, you found yourself loving his demands and dominance, you could keep following them for hours. You held yourself up with an elbow, you pinched the tip hard between your fingertips, rolling them slightly for more stimulation. You moaned with each uncoordinated flick.

"They're feeling so sensitive now."

You attached another picture, your tits in frame with your now erect and red nipples. After his reaction with the last one, you wanted to get more from him.

"So so perfect. Picture I'm there, sucking and biting on them. My warm breath fanning your soft skin. I want to make you feel good."

"You're making me feel good right now, I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"We can stop whenever you get uncomfortable, I want you to be good with all of this."

His message made you smile through the lust, he really did care about you. It wasn't the most ideal timing, but you could easily get worked back up again with his skills.

"Sorry, never wanna stop this <3"

You shook your head with a small laugh as you flirted.

"Good, me neither. You still have your panties on like a good girl?"

"Haven't taken them off yet, you haven't told me to."

"Sounds like someone's enjoying being bossed around, huh? What if I told you to suck me off, would you do it?"

"I'd let you throat fuck me. I want to gasp for my breath when you finally pull from my mouth."

"Your lips look perfect for my cock, I want to see them wrapped around me as I thrust into your mouth."

"I want you to be as rough as you can, Sammy."

You flipped over to your back once again, your hand dipping into your undies, rubbing soft circles over your clit as you awaited another message. You wanted to invite him over that instant but you had to resist the urge, sexting was fun and a good first step for the two of you.

"I've finally entered the shower, I'm stroking myself to the pictures you sent me. Kinda hard keeping the phone dry."

You laughed a little to yourself at the end of his message.

"Your turn?"

Not that your heart hadn't been pounding the entire time, your recent text made it even faster. You bit your lip in anticipation, you couldn't lie to yourself, you've always wondered what he was packing. And just like that, you revived a picture. Your jaw clenched at his size and width, you weren't entirely sure you'd be able to fit him if you ever got to doing this stuff in person. It was hot and impressive.

"How am I going to fit all of you? I don't think any amount of wetness would prepare me for you."

"We'll make it fit princess, I wanna see your warm pussy stretch around me. Fuuuck, I want you so bad Y/N."

"I want you bad too, maybe our next session can be face to face. I can't imagine how you'll make me feel when I have your hands on me instead of my own."

"You touching yourself right now? I don't remember telling you to stop playing with your tits."

"I couldn't take it anymore, I was aching for some relief."

That was true, your pussy throbbed for attention to the point it hurt to not touch yourself. No one else had this affect over you, making you soak through your lace like nothing.

"Fine, you can touch yourself as long as you don't cum until I allow you, and take it easy, I want you to enjoy this."

"Yes, Sammy."

You slowed down, rubbing slow circles on your aroused clit. Everything was heightened and sensitive, what was he doing to you?

"I'm touching myself, paced instead of rushed. I wish this was your hand. Not gonna lie, I constantly think of how good your large hands would feel on my body."

"Where?"

His response was immediate after he quickly read your message, considering what he told you just a little ago, you knew he was getting off to your little conversation.

"On my ass, in my pussy, around my throat. Even you holding my hands above my head or behind my back sounds like a pleasure. I want you to touch and explore every part of me."

The typing bubble appeared just as it did when he responded to every other text, this time you cut off his response with another one of your own, you wanted to get him really worked up.

"For future reference, I'd probably cum instantly with your tongue on my clit and your fingers in me as deep as they'd go."

You weren't a newbie when it came to sex, you knew what you wanted in the bedroom. Being a hunter and constantly hopping town to town, you had your occasional one night stand to release the stress that came with your job.

"Oh really? You want me buried in you while tasting you all at once? I can do that for you princess, I've been wanting to taste you. I'd eat you out till you came on my tongue then I'd make you kiss me, deep."

"You already know I'd return the favor."

You referred back to your message you sent not long ago about going down on him.

"We haven't even talked about getting to the main act and you've got me almost cumming. I had to slow my pace in order to not finish."

You smirked at his reply, biting your lip with a small groan as you still touched yourself. You were hoping you had the same effect on him that he had on you.

"Let's get onto the main act then. How'd you want to fuck me?"

"I can think of a few ways... But I most definitely want to see myself slide in and out of you. I want to enjoy every bit."

"Maybe my hands holding onto the back of my thighs while laying on my back? Everything would be on display."

"I could put your legs up on my shoulders and get really deep in you. Wouldn't that feel good?"

"I'd be seeing stars. And I would not be able to walk afterwards. Feeling you brush against my cervix repeatedly with your big cock, you're gonna fill me so good."

"Y/N you're gonna make me cum. Speed up."

With his permission, you started to rub faster. You moaned loudly, forgetting about anyone else in the seedy motel.

"Fuck, keep moaning."

You blushed in embarrassment, he could hear you from their rooms bathroom which definitely meant Dean could hear you, the strangers on the opposite side didn't concern you. You allowed yourself to moan with each lap, not holding back the cries. You went on for a minute before diverting your attention back to the phone.

"Imagine how much louder I'd be with you inside me."

"I've been thinking about all the noises you'd be making the entire time. You sound so hot. Are you close?"

"Yeah Sammy, I'm almost there."

Your breathing pattern became rapid and harsh, small wines escaping your lips as you played yourself to perfection.

"Beg for permission to cum."

You groaned at his response.

"Please let me cum, please Sam, I'm not sure I can hold it."

It was hard enough holding back your release but even harder to beg with one hand.

"You can cum baby, just cause you've been so good."

Your body released the tension, the relief rolling in as you came in your panties, finally. It hit you hard, your hips shaking as you moaned louder than earlier. You couldn't deny it, you never orgasmed like that when you were doing it solo.

"I couldn't help but finish to your moans"

His response was like his usual ones, not so formal and more playful. You could get used to seeing both sides regularly.

"We should do this more often, or try it in person, either one"

"I am 100% on board with that"

If for some reason you wanna be notified when I post a new fic, leave a comment to be tagged and your username will go here!

COSMIC - S1:E1; Chapter One, The Vanishing of Will Byers - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘖𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥.

𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟔𝐓𝐇, 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟑

𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐒, 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐀

𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐔.𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘

The night is quiet, as it always has been in this small corner of Indiana, and yet this night is unlike any other. The halls were especially bare, occupied only by the melody of the generator humming as it struggled to pump light throughout the twisted maze of halls. That was, until...

BAM

The steel door rips open, colliding fast and hard with the walls withab fantastic thud. Swallowing all remaining silence along with it, was the cry of alarms that flood the hallway as he runs for his life. The man finds himself at the elevator, furiously slamming his hand against the elevator button hoping just maybe it might make the elevator come faster. As he does so, the man continues to look over his shoulder in a panic.

He knows its after him.

BOOM

He knows its close.

The man is thrilled to hear the soft ding of the elevator signaling it's arrival. Before the doors are even opened all the way the man quickly ducks through and proceeds to frantically hit the UP button inside the elevator.

The doors begin to close.

For a second he believes he just might make it. But that doesn't completely cast away the fear as he can't seem to take his eyes off of the eerie hallway, expecting it's arrival. The man attempts to calm his breathing. His hopes of escaping are growing stronger as things quiet down.

That's when he hears it.

That... Thing.

It takes every remaining ounce of courage for the man to slowly look up, but on some level, he already knows he is done for.

A low growl is heard above him followed by an unusual yet terrifying squeak.

The man's screams were cut off with the shut of the doors as he is yanked up towards the ceiling of the elevator. The man is no more.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

It's quiet. The faint sound of sprinklers outside can be heard as we wait for Mike to continue. We are all on the edge of our seats. It's already hard enough they still can't find proper seating for me since I officially joined the party, so, for now, I'm wedged between my best friend Will and my brother Dustin.

"Something is coming. Something hungry for blood," Mike says, his voice barely above a whisper. "A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness."

Subconsciously we all slowly lean in waiting for whatever happens next.

"It is almost here."

"What is it?" Will asks suddenly, no longer capable of containing his curiosity.

This time it's Dustin who cuts in, "What if it's the Demogorgon?"

I take a deep breath in suspense. Out of the corner of my eye, Will practically throws himself back in his seat.

"Oh, Jesus, we're so screwed if it's the Demogorgon." Dustin rambles on.

Lucas speaks up, "It's not the Demogorgon." He sounds very sure of himself which gives me more confidence.

We all jump a little in our seats when Mike slams one of the game pieces down in front of us suddenly as he shouts "An army of troglodytes charge into the chamber!"

I sigh in great relief as Lucas gives a very smug and quite frankly, sassy look to Dustin as he props his elbow on the back of his chair which earns a soft chuckle from me.

"Troglodytes?" Dustin asks in disbelief.

"Told ya," I roll my eyes at Lucas despite the smile that grows on my face.

Everyone shares a good laugh, all of us relieved when my eyes meet Will's and we share a smile and a shake of the head as if silently saying 'I can't believe we were so worried for nothing'.

Simultaneously all of our smiles melt away when Mike starts looking around as he says "Wait a minute. Did you hear that?"

"That...That sound," he says softly.

"Boom... Boom," his voice is getting slightly louder with each 'boom'. We all stare at Mike expectantly, hanging on to his every word.

"BOOM!" Mike is shouting at this point as he slams his hands against the wooden surface making the table as well as all of us jump.

I always get too into these games, I realize. My heart is racing as adrenaline courses through my veins. I look over and it seems when I jumped I grabbed on to the nearest thing next to me which happened to be Will's arm. Sheepishly, I retract my hand and look back at Mike in anticipation.

"That didn't come from the troglodytes. No, that... That came from something else." Mike continues.

We all look around at each other as we wait for Mike.

In an instant, Mike slams down the next figure on the board and exclaims, "The Demogorgon!"

'Yep. We're screwed.'

The silence is replaced with all of our defeated groans. Dustin sighs and says, "We're in deep shit."

Mike suddenly says, "Will, your action!"

"I don't know!" Will sounded desperate.

We're all on edge, but the boys are completely panicking.

"Fireball him!" Lucas shouts.

"I'd have to roll a 13 or higher!"

"Too risky." Dustin cuts in. "Cast a protection spell!"

Lucas turns to Will and says "Don't be a pussy," I roll my eyes. "Fireball him!"

At this point, Lucas and Dustin are just yelling at each other.

"Cast protection."

Our attention is quickly brought back to Mike when he shouts, "The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering! It stomps towards you."

"BOOM!"

"FIREBALL HIM!"

"Another stomp. BOOM."

"Cast. Protection."

"He roars in anger!"

At this point, everyone is yelling over one another; it's utter chaos, and finally I snap.

"Oh, come on, I'M tired of your silly human bickering, just let the boy roll!" It's hard to be heard over all the yelling but, by some miracle,, they manage to hear me and it's quiet for a split second as Will gets a chance to speak.

"And, FIREBALL!" He throws the dice on the table out of excitement and they go flying onto the floor.

"Oh shit!"

We all jump to our feet, scrambling to find the dice in anticipation.

"Where'd it go?" Lucas asks. "Where is it?"

Will almost sounded defensive, "I don't know!"

"Is it a 13?"

"How are we supposed to know if we haven't found the dice yet, Dustin?" I retort.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Dustin chants as he paces back and forth. I roll my eyes as I continue to search on my hands and knees.

"Mike," It was Mrs. Wheeler.

"Mom we're in the middle of a campaign!" Mike exclaims.

"You mean the end? Fifteen after."

Mike sighs, exasperated and runs up the stairs.

I hear Lucas accuse Will. "Oh, my God! Freaking Idiot!"

"Lucas," I ease. "come on, it's not his fault. We were all caught up in the game. Let's just focus on- OH! Found 'em!"

I jump to my feet, pointing down at the D-20 for my friends to see and not wanting to tamper with the roll. The boys come running over and practically trampled me in the process.

"Shit, it's a seven." We all groan in frustration, especially Will.

"Does a seven count?" Will asked hopefully.

"Did Mike see it?" Lucas counters.

"Well, no."

"Then it doesn't count."

I sigh, beginning to pack up my bags and tidy up my mess knowing it was time to leave. The others do the same.

"Why do we have to leave?" Will asks sadly as we head up the stairs. "It was just getting good,"

"I know," I swing my arm off his shoulder dramatically with a sigh as we head up the basement stairs and for the garage door. "I know. But hey, just think how awesome the next one will be, eh?" I tease trying to get my best friend to smile.

|| 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Y/n has always been so good at cheering people up, I have no idea how he does it.

"Hey, guys. I'm sorry we had to end it so soon." Y/n and I turn around looking at Mike.

"No sweat, Mikey." Y/n shrugs, with a smile.

I love that smile. Suddenly his arm leaves my shoulder, and I frown a little.

I sigh inwardly, I've had such a bad crush on Y/n since he and Dustin moved here in the 4th grade. He has no idea... I hope. I always admired him from afar, that is until he finally convinced Dustin to let him into the party. We were all glad to have him, Dustin can be a little overprotective is all. I'm not sure about Dustin, but as for Mike and Lucas, they know I like him. Those guys can read me like a book, and once they caught on there was no convincing them otherwise.

I'm really lucky to have them as friends. They've never made me feel bad for who I am.

"Hey, Mike? Where is Dustin?" Y/n asks.

That's a good point, I realize. He was right behind us but he hasn't come outside yet.

"I think he went upstairs to give the leftovers to Nancy."

"Oh okay. I'll just wait here then. Uh oh, your plant is dying" Y/n said suddenly, kneeling down by the withering plant by the patio.

"Yeah, that's my mom's tomato plant. That thing is hopeless. She basically gave up on it."

"Well, I might be able to help," he said thoughtfully, beginning to scan the garage. "Where do you keep your gardening- Oh, never mind!"

He quickly runs over to the shelves, retrieving some old packets and ran back over to the plant, kneeling beside it.

You can always tell when he is concentrating; he always does this cute thing where he furrows his brow and chews his lip. My stomach does a little flip when i realize I was staring again and I quickly refocus my attention on my vest zipper. I still manage to see Y/n fiddling with the the packet tonget it open, finally sprinkling the contents into the dirt before mixing it in with his finger. All the while, he mutters words of encouragement towards it. I remember him telling me one day about a study conducted on plants and how it was proved that they respond well to positive feedback, and the memory makes me smile. He was so fascinated by it; it was hard not to be as excited about it as he was when he told us about it.

Y/n stands up, brushing himself off and smiles at Mike and then me.

I kinda froze, not in panic but in awe. He just radiates warmth, and positivity effortlessly.

"What?" He chuckles as he smiles at me.

I shake my head in embarrassment and look away, zipping up my vest and getting on my bike.

Lucas just rolls his eyes at my behavior. He's always telling me to just go for it but it's not that easy. I think he's tired of my bashfulness but still understands why I'm scared.

We all look to the door when we hear it slam. It's Dustin.

"There's something wrong with your sister." He grumbles.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's got a stick up her butt."

"Yeah," Lucas joins in. "It's because she's been dating that douche bag, Steve Harrington."

"Yeah, she's turning into a real jerk."

"She's always been a real jerk!" Mike interrupts.

"Nuh-uh. She used to be cool, like the time she dressed up as an elf for our elder tree campaign." With that, Dustin headed off on his bike, followed by Y/n but not before sending me a smile and thanking Mike.

"It was a seven," I tell him, thinking back on the campaign.

"Huh?"

"The roll, it was a seven. The Demogorgon, it got me."

Mike seems a bit shocked at my truthfulness, but ultimately shrugs it off, nodding. I nod back.

"See you later!" I say as I start peddling away.

I catch up just in time to see Lucas bid his goodbyes.

"Good night, ladies!" He chimes.

"Kiss your mom 'night for me," Dustin calls before looking over at me.

"Race you back to my place? Winner gets a comic?"

Before I can respond Y/n speaks up, "and am I included this time, like at all?"

"Course not," he says nonchalantly. I shake my head, feeling kinda bad for him, but I know it's just sibling banter.

"Well then," he scoffs. "Don't be surprised if your bike tires mysteriously deflate one day, Dustin. There's all kinds of weirdos out here,"

I laugh, and Dustin just ignores him.

"Any comic?" I ask.

"Yeah!" As we are about to start we both look back when we hear Y/n frantically yelling, "Shit! DUSTIN HELP!"

I look back to see him winking at me with a smile on his face. Automatically realizing what he is up to, I booked it.

Fortunately for me, Dustin wasn't so quick. I could hear his frantic cries, "Jesus, Y/n what's wrong-? HEY, WHAT THE HELL?!"

There it is. Although, I was already far ahead.

"DAMMIT Y/N, IF I LOSE YOU OWE ME A COMIC BOOK!"

I can hear Y/n's laughter from here and it makes me smile. As the laughter grows more and more distant, I hear "GO WILL, GO!"

Somehow my smile gets bigger, and my legs go faster.

"Hey! Hey! Get back here! I'm gonna kill you! BOTH of you!"

"I'll take your X-Men 134!" I shout as I pass his house and take the shortcut to my own.

As I slow down my mind starts to wonder; It wanders to the campaign today. It wanders to how Y/n helped me win the race and my new comic book just moments ago. It wanders to Y/n grabbing my arm during the campaign and how I don't think I've ever blushed that hard... My mind wanders to Y/n.

Sometimes I really hate how much I like him. How I can't get him out of my head. He just has always been such a good friend to me and I just don't get how someone can be so nice, and thoughtful and-

My thoughts are cut short when I notice my bike light flickering. I look down at it in confusion. Just then it comes back on. I look back at the road and I see a disturbingly tall, ominous figure staring me down. My heart practically stops in the figure's wake.

My body reacted before my mind could; I yanked my bike right and as I cruise down the ditch, my bike topples over and I'm sent to the muddy ground. It takes me a second to gather my senses as I warily pick myself up and try and get a glimpse of what I just saw. My heart starts racing faster as I hear an alarming and indistinct growling. I'm whimpering at this point but I don't care. I ditch my bike without a second thought and book it as fast as I can in the direction of my house.

I'm sniveling and panting as I make it through the fog that covers the road in front of my house. I make it on to the porch, throw open the door, and slam it shut just as fast. My fingers fumble to secure every single lock on the door and for the first time in my life I wonder why we don't have more. All the while, Chester is barking like crazy.

"Mom?" I'm running through the house looking in every room for any sign of my mom or Jonathan.

"Jonathan? Mom?"

'Crap they must be working. Crap! No No No!'

I run back into the living room and throw the blinds over my head, wincing as it hit the back of my head. But I waste no time in cupping my hands up against the glass to get a better look at the yard to see if I can spot the figure.

My stomach drops what feels like ten stories.

I can see it in the distance right between the sheets that were hung out to dry.

It's just standing there. Menacingly. (a/n: If you understood that reference, and actually thought it was funny let's be friends please 😂)

It starts stomping towards the house.

I gasp and start running for the phone.

I hastily pick the phone up from the mount and my fingers are shaking as I try and dial 911 as fast as possible.

I can hear it ringing. I can hear the click as if someone picked up. I waste no time, "Hello? HELLO?!"

All I can hear over the phone now is static, and then a disturbing, yet familiar screech-like growl. Chester's barking is getting louder and more frequent indicating that It's right outside. I slowly peer around the corner to look at the glass window on the door and I can barely make out the menacing shadowy figuring looming outside the door. I can hear it growling from outside.

Chester's barks quickly turn into whimpers as he backs away towards me.

Then the unthinkable happens.

The chain lock on the inside of the door starts unlocking itself.

'Shit!'

At this point, I realize I'm never going to be able to outrun it so I'm going to have to at least try to defend myself. I remember the gun we keep in the shed out back and make a run for it, not even bothering to hang up the phone. I nearly trip on my own feet as I run for the shed. I make it inside and slam the shed door behind me in the process. I quickly but carefully take the gun off the wall and set it on the shelf as I scramble for the ammo. My fingers are still trembling as I fumble to put the bullets in the magazine.

Once I finally get the magazine in, I pick up the gun and aim it at the shed door waiting. It seems as though I can't even keep the gun steady since my entire body is completely tremoring, even my unsteady breaths.

It has to be close by now.

As if on cue I hear the deep growling that I've already heard twice tonight and for a couple of moments I think it's outside. But then I realize why it sounds so close.

It's in the shed with me.

It's behind me.

The fear is nearing paralyzing, but I still manage to command my body to turn around to get a look at this relentless monster. When I see it I just stand there in utter disbelief, the gun slowly and subconsciously lowering to my side in shock. I'm completely frozen in place as I stare at the beast in front of me. The hanging light bulb above me glows intensively brighter with every passing second. The last thing I see before I'm cloaked in pure white light and an unbearable chill is the monster's long arm reaching out for me.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

❥ Let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist! ❥

A/n: Tumblr accidentally posted this when I went to save it. In conclusion: I hate Tumblr. Here’s your concept boo sorry about the confusion :))

“Honey, I’m home!” You call out into the house, jokingly.

Shutting the door behind you, you immediately hear the loud sounds of people in the den. Smiling, you set your bag on the table and walk to the open doorway. Grayson, Ethan, Kris, and Larri are all sprawled on the couch, playing the game you recognize as Call of Duty. Grayson’s sitting at the edge of his cushion, obviously too into the game to realize you are watching him. Larri and Ethan are not as into the game and when Kris smiles at you from her spot next to Ethan and says, “Y/n! You made it!” The two give you a smile.

“Larri! You’re supposed to be covering my 2! Bro!” Grayson groans and you laugh, finally catching his attention. Grayson glances over to the doorway, his ears perking up under his headset at the sound of your giggle. You look like an angel to him, leaning against the doorway in jean shorts and a cropped tank top. The light from the windows and lights outlining your body beautifully.

Of course, you’re just his friend, so he can’t tell you that but he wants to. Meeting Grayson and Ethan through Kristina, you never expected to fall for the younger, loud, and boisterous twin, and yet, here you are, “Y/n! Hey,” Grayson tries to sound casual but you smile at the pitch in his voice.

You know Grayson likes you, it’s pretty obvious. At first, you found it sweet and kind of funny but now that you like him back- every time you’re around him you blush more and laugh more and it’s just- more. All of your friends know you like each other but you can’t help but feel slightly insecure- being two years older than Grayson is not your ideal scenario. You’re also nowhere near as skinny or toned as the other girls Grayson has dated. Being 5’8 and a little bit curvier than most girls in LA- you’re used to being kind of- pushed aside.

However, when you’re with Grayson, you feel like you can take on the world. You're forceful front, with Grayson by your side, you are unstoppable. Grayson, Kristina, and Ethan were the reason you finally went for your dream of opening your own small business online. Grayson even stayed up with you way too late many nights helping with your website, buying products in bulk and getting the best prices, even making you cup after cup of coffee so you wouldn’t fall asleep. Some nights, he would even carry you to his room, tucking you into the warm comforter after he found you passed out at the island counter.

A few months later, you had gained thousands of followers, were working on multiple collabs with different influencers (including Wakeheart), and being able to afford to rent your own apartment, getting out of your three-bedroom apartment with four other people. You owed everything to the twins and your best friend.

“Come sit next to me, yeah?” Grayson’s voice broke you from your memories and you nod, going to sit next to him on the floral couch, “You know how to play?” You shake your head, looking up at him, biting your lip.

“No, I was never really interested in video games,” You reply and he smiles, knowing you're more of a go skateboarding and surfing kind of girl.

“Well, today’s your lucky day. I’m gonna teach you how to play,” He smirks down at you, the butterflies in your stomach wake up, swarming around your belly.

“Grayson! With your rat-ass lookin’ self! We’re losing lover boy!” Larri’s shriek pulls the two of you out of your little staring contest and you both blush.

“Sorry, sorry,” Grayson mumbles, moving his fingers nimbly on the controller, “Come here, Y/n//n, sit between my legs so I can show you what I’m doing,” He doesn’t even look back at you from the screen.

You’re sure your entire face is the color of a tomato as he lifts his arms up, saying something to Ethan about checking out a house for weapons. You hesitantly slide between his legs, his legs widen further so you nestled against him. Bringing his arms back down, they’re now wrapped around you, the controller almost sitting in your lap. Your heart is racing so fast you can barely breathe, all you can see hear, feel, is Grayson. His warmth, his scent, his arms around you, his thighs on either side of yours, his breath behind your ear, and his chest pressed against your back.

He leans into you slightly, making you sit up straighter, “Relax,” his voice whispers into your ear, causing goosebumps and a chill down your spine.

Your body follows his command without you even realizing it, and you’re now pressed fully against him. You can feel his heart beating steadily against you and it bothers you that he can be so calm at this moment. He grabs your hands and shows you how to hold the controller, showing you what each button and knob does as the two of you watch the screen. It takes you a while to understand, seeing as you’re more interested in the feel of being cuddled up to him, but slowly-but-surely, you get it. By the time you start to really get into it, Larri has already left, and Ethan and Kris called it a night, leaving the two of you alone.

To your dismay, Grayson pulls his hands away, but your disappointment is replaced with a rush of blood going through you, as his hands land on your hips and squeeze slightly, “Try it on your own. You’re doing great,” he says, encouragingly.

Knowing he wouldn’t let you do it on your own if he didn’t truly believe you could you straighten up a little, cracking your knuckles before grabbing the controller. Grayson’s chuckle rumbles against your back. You elbow him jokingly, "Shut up."

You end up getting killed in about 20 minutes- but they were the most exciting 20 minutes of your life. You weren't even upset about losing, instead, turning to cheer with Grayson you give him a wide smile. His heart skips a beat, "Did you see that? I got not one-" you hold up your index finger, "not two," you put up your middle finger, "but three!" your ring finger goes up next, "Three headshots! I am amazing! Woo!" Grayson laughs, his whole body vibrating with excitement from your excitement.

That's when you both realize how close you are to each other. Your smiles falter slightly as the adrenaline rush you're on starts to fade. You notice the circles under his eye and can't help but feel bad about keeping him past his bedtime. Before you know what you're doing, you reach a hand up, brushing off an eyelash on his cheek. Grayson watches you carefully, praying to whoever's listening that he doesn't do anything stupid like sneeze or burp. You smile at him and his heart melts at the way your face glowing in the dim lights.

"Hey, Gray?" You whisper, afraid if you talk any louder you will burst the bubble that surrounds the two of you.

He smiles cutely, "Hey y/n/n?"

"I really like playing video games."

Grayson stares at you for a second, before bursting with laughter. You pull back, eyebrows high on your face, "What? What's so funny?" You pout, thinking he's laughing at you.

He sobers at the look on your face and sighs, "You're too cute. oh my God, I thought you were going to say something super serious. Jesus." He tucks a hair behind your ear, the grin never leaving his face.

Before you can say anything, your phone goes off. You scramble off him to get the phone. Your friend's name flashes on the screen and you text her that you'll call her later. You see how late it is and turn back to Grayson with a guilty look, "It's a lot later than I realized."

Grayson tries (and fails) to cover how disappointed he was, "Oh. You need to get home?"

"No, I was actually gonna ask if I could stay the night?" His heart stops for a moment, thinking you meant to stay with him but you, painfully, fix your mistake, "I mean like- in the guest bedroom, obviously," you laugh nervously and he does too.

The two of you part quickly after that, going to your respective bedrooms to calm down. As Grayson stares at the ceiling above his bed, he swears that tomorrow he's going to do everything in his power to get you in his bed.

A/n: I really went off-script with this- I'm sorry. I'd love to do a little continuation of the next day but I felt this was way too long. Sorry about all the technical issues too :)

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer III

Part 06: Round And Round

series masterlist | previous part

summary: It seems like the stars have finally aligned to give Rafe Cameron and you a summer of blissful happiness.

a/n: This got a little longer than I expected but I'm not mad at it. I had to give them at least one summer of being cute together before the other shoe drops. The final part to this series will be out Thursday!

word count: 3.2k words (warning this gets decently smutty 18+)

The Island Club had a special glow to it as the sun sunk below the horizon and the thousands of fairy lights strung up around the yard flickered on. A breeze rippled through the warm summer air, making the perfect kind of weather. You took in the sight. The people mingling on the lawn, all dressed in their best clothing. Waiters dashing around, keeping everyone's drinks filled. Bits and pieces of conversations floated up into the night.

You'd finally settled on a long, black satin gown with a deep v-neck that’d you'd found hidden away on the sale rack. Your mother had fussed over how plain it was and how much skin it showed but you were sure it was the right dress from the moment you slipped it on. You'd agreed to let your mom twist your hair into a single braid that fell down your back and she’d stuck bobby-pins with tiny rhinestones in at random intervals. You had painted your lips a deep crimson red to pull it all together.

You were starting to understand the appeal of the whole thing. There was a certain feeling of glamour to the night. Your eyes roamed the lawn noticing Cleo and Milo snuggled close together on the dance floor, swaying to the soft music playing. That was new. Good for them. They looked happy together.

Most people were already here since your Nonna had insisted on being fashionably late.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up as you heard Rafe's voice from behind you. You turned around and the sight of him made your mind go blank. You'd let yourself picture how Rafe Cameron might look in a suit but the real deal was so much better.

Rafe cleared his throat snapping you back to reality. "You look nice," he said, the compliment bringing a smile to your face.

"You too, Cameron."

"Hey, come with me. I wanna talk to you." He reached down, taking your hand and you slipped your fingers between his, letting him lead you back inside. Almost every person you passed seem to know Rafe and smiled at him or stopped for a quick "hello."

He pulled open a heavy door and ushered you inside. It was the same bathroom where you'd meet Sarah for the first time while trying to escape boring lunch small talk. What were you doing here? Rafe leaned down, checking that all the stalls were in fact empty before turning the hatch on the door to lock it.

Rafe smiled at you widely. "Hi," he muttered as he brought his hand up to cup your face, running his thumb over your cheek.

The butterflies sprung up in your stomach almost immediately.

"Hi," you said back quietly, afraid of breaking the moment.

He walked you backward gently until you felt the cool wall against the exposed skin of your back.

His mouth was dangerously close to yours. His other hand landed on your thigh and he slowly slide it upwards. You weren't sure if you cursed buying a dress with such a high slit or were grateful for the easy access.

“Rafe, we can't do this again. Not here,” you warned but you were sure he could see right through your words. “We were both drunk last time.”

“And I’m completely sober now.” His hand inched closer to your core.

“Do you even remember it?”

“Do you really think I would have dragged you in here and have you pressed up against this wall if I didn’t? Yes, I remember it y/n. I remember the whole very clearly.”

Rafe dropped his voice to just above a whisper. He smoothed his thumb over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “Tell me to stop. Tell me you don’t want this.” But you did want. You wanted it so badly it was killing you. Every bit of you turned to jelly under his touch and you wanted Rafe’s hands all over your body. You had zero interest in telling him to stop. His fingers ghosted over your underwear and you let out a whine without realizing it. “See, I’m barely even touching you and you’re already whining for me.”

Your forehead dropped to his shoulder as he moved your underwear aside, dipping his fingers into your folds.

“Ah, ah, ah. Look at me, baby.” Rafe said, pushing your head back upright before he moved his hand down to wrap his fingers around your throat. His eyes meet yours. This was a different side of Rafe. Rougher and wild but incredibly sexy.

Another moan caught in your throat as he pushed two fingers inside of you. “Fuck, Rafe.”

Your back arched off the wall and a loud moan tumbled off your lips as he hit the sweet spot inside of you. “Good girl,” Rafe praised. His words turning you on even more.

Rafe could tell you were nearing your climax and slide his fingers out suddenly.

“Fuck you, Cameron,” you spit.

He laughed. “Please, it couldn’t be more evident that you want to,” he replied, hiking your dress all the way up to your waist, pulling your lacy underwear down to the floor before undoing his belt and kicking his own pants off. Your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, desperately pulling it open to run your hands over his beautifully chiseled abdomen. 

His clothed dick, bulging out of his boxers, rubbed against your clit and your hips bucked up automatically, craving the friction.

Rafe ran his thumb over your bottom lip, slipping it into your mouth as it naturally fell open. “God, you look so fucking hot right now y/n. So so pretty.” He pushed your hips back against the wall, harshly. “But let’s remember, I’m in charge here.”

“Please, Rafe,” you begged. You knew he was going to keep teasing you, loving the way you squirmed under his words.

Rafe pushed his boxer down this knees freeing his hard cock before pulling a condom out of the jacket, unrolling it over his dick. He lined it up with your entrance, pushing into your slowly. The pace almost making you cry out.

“Jesus, Cameron. Fuck me already if you’re going to,” you hissed, annoyed with the ends he was pushing you to.

Rafe chuckled, his eyes locked with yours as he slammed his whole length into you. You bit down on your bottom lip trying to stay quiet.

Rafe reached down, hooking your leg around his waist so he could enter you at a new angle. Your arms wrapped around his shoulder, holding onto him for support. Your breath hitched as his thumb began to rub small circles on your clit.

"Fuck, you feel amazing," Rafe said, his own breathing uneven. "I needed to do this again."

His mouth attached to your neck, kissing and sucking and you were sure you would find a hickey there tomorrow morning. He rested his forehead on yours, your mouths an inch apart.

You could feel your release growing closer and closer. Rafe's own movements were getting sloppy and desperate. He closed the distance, landing his lips on yours, catching your moans as you came undone. He continued to kiss you, slipping his tongue into your mouth, finishing just seconds later.

Neither of you moved for a few moments, savoring the feeling of just holding each other. Your lips met again, the kiss was sweet and slower but still full of passion.

“That was a super productive conversation, Cameron,” you joked.

“I didn’t come here to have one.” He smirked, moving away from you to slip back on his pants. You walked over to the mirror to evaluate how disheveled Rafe’s impromptu due need to fuck had left you. Some piece of hair had sipped out of your braid but they framed your face nicely making it look almost intentional so you could definitely get away with it. Your red lipstick was noticeably gone. If your mom got suspicious, you’d have to blame it on not being able to find a straw. Though the stain on Rafe’s own lips might give you away.

Rafe came up from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. You watched his movements in the mirror.

With a face like pretty it really was no surprise you found yourself in situations like this. Not that you were complaining. But Rafe had this pull on you that was truly indescribable but impossible to resist.

“Should we get back out there?” You asked. “People might start wondering where you went.”

“Let them,” Rafe replied, placing another kiss on your neck, just below the edge of your jaw. It was your favorite place to feel his lips on you. That spot in particular sent a shiver through your body whenever he kissed it.

“I’ll go first and you follow in five minutes.”

“We can just leave together,” he countered.

“Phoebe might see.”

Rafe hesitated, picking up on the double meaning of your words but wanting to avoid a fight over it. “Okay. You go first.”

☼☼☼

You let yourself get pulled into Rafe Cameron’s orbit for the remainder of the summer. You became a regular figure at the group’s parties, becoming especially fast friends with Riley as you spent more time together and bonded over the world that was high school theater. Milo had claimed you as his beer pong partner from the beginning and the two of you had managed to remain undefeated. The evenings usually ended in you and Rafe sneaking away to his house or yours, the culmination of sly glances and flirtatious winks you’d been teasing each other with the entire time. You left your window perpetually unlocked and learned how to dart across the Cameron’s front lawn without making the motion-sensor lights go off.

One summer night, near the middle of July, you were standing on Rafe's front porch having slipped out quietly when the light clicked on illuminated the yard, You froze, fearing you'd been caught by Rose or worse by Ward but instead, Sarah stepped out of the shadows, her eyes equally wide with fear of being caught.

"Shit, she cursed, half giggling. "I usually don't make that go off."

"Where have you been?" You asked her playfully.

"I meet a boy," she confessed.

Your features contorted into a smile seeing the happiness radiating off Sarah.

"Aw Sarah. I'm so happy for you. Just be safe, okay?" It was hard to believe but Sarah was now the same age you'd been when you and Rafe had first meet.

"Don't worry, y/n. Nothing's even happened. We just sit in his room, talking for hours," she paused, finally realizing the strangeness of you standing on her front porch in the early hours of the morning. "Oh my God. Wait? Are you and Rafe...? It’s about time."

You held out your hand to shush her. The look on your face giving away all your secrets.

"You're good for him," Sarah added. "You're good for each other."

The light clicked off again, the darkness of the night enveloping the two of you.

"That's my cue." You reached out, pulling Sarah in for a quick hug, placing a loving kiss in her blonde hair.

"Bye." She squeezed her arms tighter around your waist before letting go.

☼☼☼

You knocked on the door of Sawyer's pool house, the location the group had decided on for the night after a rather fierce argument in the group chat, one you had pointedly stayed our off. Rafe opened the door, smiling at your presence before stepping outside, pulling the door closed behind him.

He leaned down for a kiss. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," you replied, your lips meeting his.

His hand automatically reached for yours. "C'mon. I wanna do something fun tonight."

"But isn't everyone in there?" You pointed behind him.

"Yeah, but it's just gonna be the same boring thing. Sawyer's drunk already because he can't hold his alcohol for shit. Phoebe thinks we should hit up some touran's party. And Cleo and Milo are no-shows. So let’s go do something else."

You shrugged. You'd much rather have Rafe all to yourself anyway. "Okay, where are we going?"

“It’s a surprise.”

Ten minutes later and Rafe was pulling into the desert parking lot of his high school. “Welcome to the Kook Academy. That’s not it’s actual name but everyone on the island just calls it that since none of the pogues can afford to go here.”

The lofty walls of the private school loomed above you. It looked like a fucking castle that belonged in the rolling heels of Europe, definitely not in the middle of North Carolina.

“C’mon. You can see practically the entire island from the roof.”

“How the hell are we gonna get up there?” You asked.

“The lacrosse team pulled this sweet prank last season and I still have the keys to the roof. Plus, it’s summer. No one’s even here.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Rafe Cameron.”

He leaned across the middle console, sliding a hand being your neck and pulling your face close into his. “I promise it’ll be worth it,” he said before landing his lips on yours.

Soon you were climbing into his lips, straddling his hips. The roof-top adventure temporarily put on hold. You gripped his blonde locks as his hands worked their way under your shirt.

"I thought we were breaking into your high school?" You tesed.

"We are. Right now, I'm just trying to break into your bra," Rafe answered.

"Okay." You shoved his hand away. "On account of the fact that that was the worst comeback I've ever heard, let's go."

"I can't help it. Your tits were distracting me," he answered, trying to reach for them again.

You swatted his hand away "Rafe."

"Party pooper," he replied with a frown.

"You're such a drama queen." You leaned down for a quick kiss, tearing your lips away before he had the chance to pull you in deep.

Rafe hadn't lied. The view from the roof was breathtaking. You could see all the way to the end of the island from the top of the fourth-story building. The cars moving below were tiny dots, the people even smaller. You stood at the edge, your eyes fixed on the churning ocean stretching beyond the horizon. The whole thing felt eternal.

Rafe's eyes watched your own, the glint in them growing as you took in the sight.

"Holy shit, Rafe. This is amazing," you said, wrapping your arms tight around his neck, not looking away from the skyline.

"I thought you might think so."

The two of you stayed like that and watched the sun disappear below the horizon in a blaze of orange and pink glory before the dark night sky littered with brights stars replaced it.

The wind nipped at your skin, fiercer up here than on the ground. It made you snuggle into Rafe's side, stealing his body heat to stay warm.

"Ready to go back down?" Rafe asked.

"Not yet." You weren't prepared for this moment to end. You longed to stay in it, here, with him, for as long as you could.

"Okay," Rafe answered, pulling your back closer into his chest and wrapping his arms tighter around you to fight off the cold. "Okay," he repeated. He let a few more minutes pass before breaking the silence again.

“I bought you something.”

You turned to face him, eyebrows raised in surprise. Rafe had money, obvious, but you never knew him to be much of a gift-giver. Mostly, because he was hyperaware that the money belonged to Ward, not him. Rafe reached into his back pocket, producing a small black velvet box. You took it from his outstretched hands and opened it. Inside, lay a beautiful gold necklace with a single dainty star.

You look up at Rafe tears welling in your eyes from the romantic gesture. Your heart swelled. “Oh my God. I love it, Rafe.” I love you. You stopped yourself before those three little words, three words more explosive than dynamite, had the chance to slip out as well.

“Don’t cry, baby. It’s only a necklace. Want me to put it on you?”

You nodded, handing Rafe back the box. You lifted up your hair up with one hand and he carefully draped the necklace around your neck, fastening the clasp in the back.

Rafe smiled at the look of it hanging around your neck like a reminder that you always had him, that you would always have him.

“Thank you, babe. I seriously love it.” You took the necklace between your fingers peering down at it.

“Anything for my girl.” 

☼☼☼

Hours later, you were back in Rafe’s room, laying on top of him, your naked stomachs pressed together, your head resting on his chest, your legs intertwined beneath the comforter. Rafe ran his index finger lazily up and down your arm, goosebumps springing up in its wake. You lifted your head off his chest to look at him.

“I think we should maybe talk about what happened last summer," you started.

“Why?” He asked back.

“Uh, cause you told me to pick and I didn’t pick you. But then I get back to the Outer Banks and we sleep together within the first week.”

“But you’re not dating Evan anymore.”

“Right.”

“So what’s there to talk about. You’re free to fuck anybody you want. Preferably me, right now, again.” He eagerly moved you so that your already sensitive core, from the night's earlier activities, was straddling his thigh. You groaned at the contact, quickly shifting away as not to let him distract you from the conversation.

“What about Phoebe?” You asked.

“What about Phoebe?”

“Well, you took her to Midsummers.”

“Cause we’re friends and I knew it would make Ward happy.”

You paused. “But we’re friends.”

“Baby, trust me. Phoebe and I are not the same kind of friends me and you are.” His palm landed on your back, rubbing small comforting circles.

"Meaning you're not sleeping with her?" The words came as a question, though you’d meant it as a statement.

"Definitely not." Rafe paused. "It's just you."

This was the closest you'd come to having the 'What are we?' conversation. You had suspected the two of you had been exclusive for some time but it was refreshing to hear Rafe say it aloud.

"Yeah, it's just you for me too," you replied.

You started to move off Rafe's warm body. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“I gotta get home. My mom’s started going on these crazy 6 a.m morning runs and I’m afraid she’s gonna catch me sneaking it.” You leaned down to kiss him again. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ward and I are leaving for those college visits tomorrow.”

Oh shit, you had forgotten about that. “And my flight back’s the week after that.” The implication of your words hung in the air. The summer was coming to a close and you couldn’t stop it.

“It’s okay y/n. We’ll call and text during the school year and next summer you’ll be back.”

“Right,” you agreed, trying to ignore the sinking feeling growing in your stomach. You had the summer-fling of your dreams with Rafe and here he was promising to stay in touch so why didn’t it feel good? Why didn't it feel right?

“I gotta go. Have a good trip.” You took Rafe's face in your hands hoping to kiss away the uneasy feeling. Rafe's hands wandered down to cup your butt, pulling you back on top of him.

“Rafe...” you trailed off as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

“Shhh,” he mumbled back.

You knew you should probably pull yourself away from him, staying would cut it too close with your mom but the way his hands roamed your body was making it hard to think about anything rationally. He rolled your hips against his already hard-again dick. Fuck, the things this boy did to you were dangerous. Besides, maybe this would distract you from that achy feeling you had about the future so you let yourself kiss Rafe back desirously.

But two weeks later, as the tires of your plane lifted off the runway, en route back to Oregan, that feeling hadn’t gone away in the slightest.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13 [drop a ☀️ in my inbox or messages if you want to be added]

(thirteen times) i love you— 01

— wherein y/n (a hopeless romantic) seems to fall in love with nearly ever guy she meets. so, she writes letters for them to compensate. these letters weren’t meant for them to read, but what happens when they all end up receiving them?

01 // the day it all went down

word count: 4.3k

a/n: the first part is finally here!! heheh. be warned that this is nothing but an absolute shitfest rip HAHHAH please lmk what you thought about this part!!

part 2 will be on July 9th, 8:00 PM EST!

<< prev | next >>

masterlist

The soft breeze hits your skin as you walk down the dusty pavement. Clutching your books to your chest, you let out a long breath. Yet another agonizingly long day at school, I guess.

Your pace begins to slow down the moment your temporary prison appears into your field of vision. It wasn't as if you hated school— what you hated was going through the same mundane pattern nearly every single damn day to the point that it could bring a person to the brink of insanity. If that hadn't happened before, then you surely will be the first.

"Y/N! It's good to see that you're alive!" A chipper voice (thankfully) interrupts your blaring thoughts.

You groaned, "How the fuck is that a good thing, Hyerim? If anything, my impending death might actually be what the world needs right now."

"And how exactly would your death contribute to helping the earth?" Hyerim rolled her eyes, adjusting the strap of her bag as the both of you entered the campus.

A few acquaintances greeted the both of you while you passed the corridors. "Is Jiyeon not here yet?" You questioned, brushing a stray hair behind your ear.

"Said she's gonna be late," Hyerim shrugged, "And you still haven't answered my question, missy."

With a sigh, you divert your attention towards your locker which is a few feet away from you. Your eyes narrow. What the fuck? You continue to squint at the object— or more like the person leaning against it, whom which you assumed is waiting for you for god knows whatever reason.

"Hellooo? Y/N, you okay?" a waving hand blocks your vision. You turned to your friend who's giving you a worried look.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," you assured her. Hopefully. You glance back at the male who was still in the same spot as before, but this time, he seemed to have noticed you. For fucks sake, go away! Oh lord jesus, am I in trouble? You gulped and looked back to your friend.

"Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you later," you bid her goodbye, walking past her "And to answer your question— overpopulation."

You heard small 'what the fuck' from your friend before you had finally left her presence, causing small grin to form in your face. Although, your brief moment of joy was cut short once you remembered the apparent doom that was waiting for you at your locker.

You made your way towards the man. With every step you take, your heart races further and a new thought of dread plants itself in your mind.

What does he want from me?! As far as I know, I haven't done anything wrong! But why else would he be here? Wait, what if I actually did something that I don't know of? Jesus— okay, relax Y/N, it probably won't be that bad. Oh god, never mind, he doesn't look happy. You know what, my death would really, really, really sound nice right now. Maybe if i just jump—

"Oh. There you are, Y/N. I've been waiting for you for quite some time now."

Lord, please take me.

"May I know why, Seungcheol?" you look up to meet his eyes, features remaining calm in the hopes of masking the internal turmoil that's going on in your head.

It takes him a while to respond. He bites his bottom lip, eyes wandering in every direction besides you. Based on his actions, you could tell he was nervous— that didn't exactly sit well with you. Why the hell is mister student council president waiting for you, and not to mention he's nervous? The last interaction you've had with him was literally months ago. None of your thoughts seemed to line up, so all you could do was just to anxiously wait for his response.

He let out a deep breath, "Look, Y/N, I'm really flattered that you like me and—"

Your brows furrowed. What?

"—and I appreciate the fact that you think I'm handsome and all—"

The hell is he saying?

"—but you know I have a girlfriend and I really don't think she'll —"

"Seungcheol, what are you talking about?" you cut him off, your face filled with confusion.

You see him pressing his lips together. He reaches his hand into his pocket and takes out something from it.

A look of horror shrouds your face upon seeing the familiar object. Your eyes widen and you could feel your breathing starting to become erratic.

Oh my god no no no, please, for the love of god, don't tell me—

"I got your letter, Y/N," a yellow envelope appears in his hand, "I'm really sorry, I really do appreciate the sentiment but I don't think Minyoung will be happy if she sees— wait, Y/N, are you okay?"

You shake you head, hyperventilating. Your eyes still focused on the dreaded envelope in Seungcheol's hand. This can't be happening, this cannot be happening.

Seungcheol's hands meet your shoulders, "Hey, do you want me to take you to the infirmary?" he looks at you, eyes filled with worry.

"I'll— I'll be fine, y-yeah, I'm okay—"

You freeze.

"No, you're obviously not fine, Y/N. I'm taking you to the infirmary."

What if the rest has theirs?

"I— I have to go—" you shake his hands off of you and you ran off, leaving a confused and rather bewildered Seungcheol behind.

As you raced through the halls, all of the students that you came across seemed to be giving you worried glance. They probably thought you were having a breakdown— which in fact, you are (surprise.) You must've looked absolutely terrible for them to even notice. You had no idea where you were headed— anywhere where you could lose your mind without anyone seeing would be nice. You take a swift turn, but instead of moving forward, you were stopped back a rather broad and muscular chest.

"Oh damn, you alright there, Y/N?" you slowly look up and you were met by the face you someone you really didn't want to see.

"Earth to, Y/N? Have you lost the ability to speak or maybe I've just rendered you speechless?" you nearly slapped the shameless grin on the man's face, but you remained still.

"Or maybe she just doesn't want to talk to you, Gyu."

You snap your head to the direction of the voice. Your face contorting in horror upon seeing him. Any moment now, death.

Kim Mingyu and Xu Minghao. Whatever higher being there is from above must be enjoying the shit show that your life is slowly becoming into.

You let out a small shriek as you scrambled away from the both of them.

"Okay I knew she didn't like me, but that was just rude."

Quickening your pace, you dashed your way to the back of the school. It was almost time for your first class, but all you wanted to do was just to sit down, cry, and wallow yourself in self-pity.

The doors of heaven made its way into your peripheral vision and you swear you were about to burst into tears of joy. You let out a breath and a smile of relief plastered itself on your face.

But of course, your moment of bliss just had to be cut short.

"Y/N."

You felt someone grab your arm and you let out a squeak. You'd recognize that voice anywhere.

"Sorry, it's just that I read your letter and I—"

"I, uh, I can't talk right now, Seokmin. Gotta go, bye—" for the third time today, (and possibly more to come) you ran.

It seemed like the back of the school wasn't an option to have your breakdown, anymore. You continue on running until your legs brought you in front of the infirmary. Good enough, you thought to yourself.

You tried to catch your breath as you entered the room. From the corner of your eye, you could see a nurse on duty giving you a skeptical look.

"Don't worry," you heaved, "I just— I just need to rest for a bit."

Planting yourself face-down onto one of the nearby beds, you let out a scream. Why the hell is this happening? You were just about to begin sobbing until you heard the door swung open.

"Oh, Joshua. What brings you here, sweetie?"

Of course that's gonna happen. What did I fucking expect?

You silently thank the people that invented the curtains around medical beds because if it weren't for them, you'd be fucked (more than you already were.) Although, he would still be able to see you if he comes closer and you were not willing to let that happen.

So, like any other person would do, you climbed under the bed.

You could see the nurse's alarmed expression looking at your figure. You placed your index finger on your lips.

'Please, don't tell anyone that I'm in here,' you mouthed, your face brimming with desperation. She seemed to understand your message since she diverted her attention to Joshua.

"Ah, I was just wondering if you hand any pain killers? My head started to ache while I was heading to class."

"Is that so? Just give me a moment, Joshua, I'll go get them."

"Thank you."

A pair of feet appeared in front of you and your heart started to race. You placed your palm on your mouth in case you accidentally slip out a sound.

"Here you go, dear."

"Ah, thank you so much. I'll be going now, Miss Lee."

"Alright. Remember to take care of yourself, Joshua."

The pair of feet shuffle away, causing you to let out the breath that you've been holding back.

"I won't," you heard the door swing open then put immediately to a close.

Slowly, you crawl back out from your hiding spot, hitting your head in the process. But did you care? No, because thank the fucking gods— your ass is saved for now. You stood up and started fixing your clothes and hair (and your mental state, but that's far from redeemable due to today's mishaps.) The bell rang, and you heard a cough coming from behind you. Turning around, you see the nurse looking at you with an unamused expression.

"Before you loiter around any further, I'd have to tell you that you need to get back to class, sweetie," despite the endearment at the end, the tone of her voice is less than endearing; a stark contrast from when she was talking to Joshua, earlier. But then again, he wasn't acting crazy and crawling underneath furniture, so you couldn't really blame her.

You nodded, and without a word, you scurried out of the room.

A groan exited your mouth as you made your way to your first class— chemistry. There weren't much students left in the hallway since the bell had already rung, so you're free to trudge your body around like a zombie. You've reached the door to your class, but before you could open it, you paused.

Fuck.

You curse at yourself.

Junhui is in this class.

Silently letting out a few prayers, you finally opened the door. Two pairs of eyes immediately stared at your direction— you professor, and the devil himself, Junhui.

Jesus, it's like he has been waiting for my arrival or something (guess what: he was.)

"My apologies for being late, sir, I just came from the infirmary," you explain.

"It's fine, Y/N, just go to your seat," you professor brushed you off and you nodded, following his instructions.

The class went on agonizingly slow, but perhaps that was just you hoping for it to end quickly. But, can you really blame yourself when there's literally someone drilling holes at the back of your head the entire god damned time?

Your look at the perpetrator from a few seats behind you, and were met by his intense gaze. You let a barely audible curse slip past your lips and turned your head back to the front. Can he like, stop? You could feel the warmth spreading on your cheeks from the brief interaction. Burying your face in your arms, you could only wait for the saving sound of the bell.

As if it were an ensemble of angels singing— the bell rang.

A bunch of students immediately stood up, you being one of them. You raced towards the door before Junhui could catch up to you. You exited the classroom, but before you could let out a sweet sigh of relief, you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, Y/N. Is it okay if we talk for a sec?" you paled. No, it is not okay if we talk for a sec— or ever, actually. You turned your head to face him, but before you could utter out an excuse, someone decided to interrupt.

"Sorry, Jun. But I need to borrow Y/N for a while," you thought you were finally saved, but it turns out that your savior would actually end up being your demise, as well.

Wonwoo dragged you away from Junhui without giving him a chance to respond. 

Is this some sort of sick fucking joke?

The tall male finally stopped dragging you and you both ended up in a quiet hallway. You look up at him, trying to formulate a decent excuse in your head since you already anticipated what he has to say.

"Sorry for interrupting you, but I just had to inform you to head to the clubroom after class," Wonwoo explained. "I know I could've just told you there, but you looked like you'd rather die than be that situation— whatever that was."

Huh. You thought. Hasn't he read the letter?

"Anyways, I'll be seeing you later, Y/N," he bade you farewell and left your confused self in the hallway.

You let out a heavy sigh. Thank god you we're saved just now but you know that won't last any longer. Walking at an agonizingly slow pace to your next class, you could only anticipate the next stage of torture that life has planned for you.

You made a quick stop at your locker before heading to class. Letting out a yawn, you opened it and took out everything you need. You weren’t gonna lie, this whole fiasco was starting to make you feel like a dead log . All you wanted was to sleep for ten days (and maybe cry along the way) and wake up knowing this entire thing was just a shitty dream.

You closed (read: slammed) your locker. Turning your heels, you see the presence of another person a couple of feet away from you. You groaned. Can I get a fucking break, please?

At the end of the hallway was Lee Jihoon.

You expected him to march up to you, letter in hand, and gently tell you to fuck off because he isn’t interested. But instead, the moment the male met your eyes, a flustered look crept onto his face along with a not-so-subtle red blush. You heard him mumble a low ’fuck’ before he literally ran away from you as if you had some sort of contagious disease. The tables have turned, apparently.

If you hadn’t been doing the exact same thing during the entirety of the morning, you’d be offended by his actions. You sigh, spending the next few minutes walking to your next class in silence.

Surprisingly, you weren’t late. You took a seat on the second row and waited for the class to start. An uneasy feeling started to flourish in your head. This is weird, you thought. This had been the longest time of peace that had passed before everything inevitably turns to shit again.

Just as the thought enters your mind, the door swings open, revealing none other than Boo Seungkwan.

You grumble, of course this was bound to happen. You prepared yourself for yet another uncomfortable Junhui situation to commence, but it ended up being far more worse than anticipated.

As if the universe slowed down just for this moment, Seungkwan marched towards the desk literally right beside you and, god-forbid, he sat down.

I really wish I were dead, right now.

To make things even more terrible, the male decided to strike up a conversation.

“Morning, Y/N.”

You contemplated grabbing your pen and just stabbing yourself with it, but you didn’t— that would take much too long. Instead, you ended up responding with a small ‘hi,’ which sounded more like a squeak than anything else.

Seungkwan hummed at your response and started fixing his things. You prayed, hoped, and wished that he hadn’t read the letter yet, because god you wouldn’t be able to escape this just like the previous times.

The professor started the class, and the next couple of minutes were spent with him introducing a new lesson.

You assumed your prayers have finally been answered since so far, Seungkwan hadn’t mentioned anything about the letter. You thought you could finally rest easy and focus on the class, but of course, the world decided that you haven’t suffered enough just yet.

“Psst, I was waiting for you to mention the letter you sent me, but it seems like you have zero plans so—”

“Sir, may I go to the restroom!?”

You shot up, cutting off the male beside you and catching the attention of everyone in class. You bit your bottom lip. Clearly, you didn’t think this through, but you didn’t care— you just needed to leave.

“Go ahead, Miss Y/N, and please don’t yell the next time you ask.”

In a rush, you immediately left the room. You weren’t planning on going to the bathroom— for fuck’s sake, you were going home. You didn’t think you could handle the possibility of meeting any more of the recipients of your letters. You were aware you’d have to confront them in the future, but that’s in the fucking future, right now your main agenda is just to cry.

You briskly made your way around the halls, avoiding the handful of people that were around. It was an easy task since people seemed to avoid you the moment you step into their presence. From the corner of your eye, you spot the same dreaded yellow object that had been the root of your ongoing despair. Your breath hitches, bringing you to a halt upon seeing the envelope nestling in Kwon Soonyoung’s grasp.

Taking a deep breath, you hoped to sneak past the male without him noticing you in any possible way. You inched your way past him, taking one step at a time. You were about to take a turn, successfully avoiding the giant landmine that was in the form of Soonyoung, he decided to crush your hopes by looking straight at your direction. His eyes widen, opening his mouth to say something, but you didn’t give the guy a chance—

You ran.

The effect your previous marathons might’ve finally taken a toll on your body since you weren’t running as quickly as before. Your breathing started to become short and even more labored. For the meantime, you decided to stop. You wanted to escape him, not pass out. Leaning against the wall, you pant profusely, you weren’t sure if you would be able to handle this any further— physically and mentally.

You start to move again, although at a much slower pace this time. No matter what happens, you’re going home, only by then you would be able to think about a solution to your problem.

“Y/N! Wait up!”

The blood on your face drains. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck— just fuck. You could hear his footsteps getting nearer and nearer. Adrenaline rushes through your veins and you prepare yourself to start sprinting once again.

Why the fuck is this happening to me?

You sort of wish Seungcheol was just there to reprimand you earlier rather than bringing about this shit storm. It wasn’t his fault by any means, but you couldn’t find anything or anyone else to blame. God, you may have wanted a break from your daily mundane routine but isn’t this a bit too much?

Amidst your rush, a voice brings you to a halt.

“Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?”

You look up to the owner of the voice, mentally spewing out a string of curses (you couldn’t say it to his face unless you wanted to be in even deeper trouble.)

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class? Why the hell are you running around the hallway?”

Jeonghan begins to scold you, although none of it seems to register in your mind. You could only focus on the sound of Soonyoung’s footsteps, who in fact is only seconds away.

“Look, Jeonghan,” you heaved, cutting him off, “I— I’m sort of in— in a situation right now,” you looked at the male in desperation, your breathing still noticeably unstable. You turn your head behind you, seeing the shadow of the male inching closer. “Fuck.”

You faced the male in front of you once again, “Sorry, Jeonghan, but I really— really have to go,” for the umpteenth time today, you ran, but it seemed like Jeonghan didn’t plan on letting you go just yet.

“What the— Y/N, I’m not done with you yet, hold on—”

Instead of one, you now have two males chasing after you. That doesn’t sound too bad if it were in aromantic context, but literally two guys— both of them being exceptionally athletic and fast— are trying to frantically catch you via a running competition. Now that sounds terrible.

Your legs were seriously about to give in— maybe this is a sign to start going to the gym. But due to some miracle (or maybe you were just really fast when desperate), you managed to put some distance between you and the two boys, but you know that wasn’t going to last long. What you need was a hiding place, but where the fuck could you possible hide?

“Yo, Y/N, over here,” you turn your head and see Vernon, who you hoped hasn’t read your letter yet— you probably wouldn’t be able to handle another guy coming for your ass.

Taking the risk, you march up to him, hoping he could help you in some way. He points at his locker and you furrowed your brows in response, how is that supposed to help you?

“Hurry, get in, I’ll tell them you ran off somewhere else,” Vernon ushered you inside the compartment. You gape at him. Were you really gonna let him lock you in his locker in order to get two guys off of your tail? To answer: yes, yes you were.

You struggled to let yourself fit, but although extremely cramped, you managed. From the holes of the locker’s door, you were able to see and hear what was going on outside. A few seconds pass, then Jeonghan and Soonyoung appeared into view.

“Vernon, have you seen Y/N around?” Jeonghan asked, his breath hitching just the slightest bit.

Vernon, for the love of god, please be on my side.

“Yeah, she ran off in that direction,” he pointed towards somewhere you couldn’t see.

“Thanks, man,” Soonyoung replied and the both of them finally disappeared.

You closed your eyes, hoping to find some semblance of peace as you wait for Vernon to release you from the confined space.

“Alright, Y/N, they’re gone,” you heard a click and the locker door creaked open, “You’re safe now.”

Getting out was as much of a struggle as getting in, but once you were fully free, you found refuge on the floor underneath you. You let out as sigh as you leaned against one of the other lockers.

“Hate to ruin your moment, Y/N but why the fuck were they chasing you?” Vernon asked, confusion present in his voice.

You decided to pull yourself up, the male helping you along the way, “It's— It’s a long story,” you managed to utter out. Vernon only looked at you, probably even more perplexed than before. You brush off all the dust and the dirt before taking your leave.

“Thanks a lot, Sol. God, you don’t know how much I owe you for that,” you breathed.

“An explanation would be appreciated,” he chuckled, “But I won’t bug you right now, you look absolutely fucked out.”

You gave him a tired smile in response, “I’ll be going now. See you around,” you wave at him then immediately made your way outside.

The sun hits your skin. You almost cried knowing you finally managed to make it out alive. A few more agonizing minutes until you could have your long awaited breakdown. Surprisingly, the guard by the gate didn’t question why you were leaving school grounds— your postwar appearance probably says everything.

While you were trudging your way home, you felt a buzz in the pocket of your skirt. Letting out a groan, you fish for your phone. A look of dread shrouds your face upon seeing the message. Just when you thought your misery was over.

[chan: y/n we having a tutoring session later right? 👀]

[you: sorry chan, i won’t make it today]

[chan: aw is that so :((( i wanted to talk to you about something

chan: tomorrow then!!!]

You let out an exasperated groan and shoved your phone back into your pocket. Whatever happens within the next few days— you’ll deal with them sooner or later (hopefully, never).

Your house comes into view and you immediately broke into a sprint. Upon reaching your front door, the tears that you’ve been holding back the entire time threaten to break out. A few more seconds, Y/N, you could make it. You opened the door, and after slamming it close, you drop to the floor.

You know you’d have more shit awaiting for you tomorrow, but as of now— you only had the energy to bawl your eyes out, drown yourself in your own misery, and hope for the best to come.

Long post about the reasons Lena sold Cat Co.

FYI very Anti James Olsen, and not very Kara friendly either. You've been warned 😊

This makes me sad, even though it was obvious Lena would sell Cat Co. What's heart breaking about it is Lena was essentially driven away from her own company.

Remember when Kara was ghosting her at the beginning of season 3? She only came back to Lena when she needed her for something, ie. Help with Cat Co. What did Lena do? Lena FREAKING brought it!

Kara "no! Edge has Cat Co!"

Lena "no... I brought it" - Lena hesitates when she says this as though she isn't sure how Kara, who has recently been a jack ass to her would react.

She then gets more confident and says

"pretty bad ass right" - she sounds so pleased with herself and is expecting Kara to be happy.

Kara? Basically says she quit. She came to Lena for the first time in ages to rant and rave, complain and then basically ask her to help sort it and Lena DOES! But Kara seems to forget all of this and just quits het job.

Lena is shocked and is like

"well unquit!! I can't do this without you! I don't know anything about running a media empire"

Kara, like she can't be arsed and didn't just get what she went to Lena for says "well neither do I". It's so dismissive, and it's bullshit since she does know how that stuff works to a point because she was Cat Grants FREAKING assistant! Kara was waaaay more qualified than bloody James "I take pictures of my posing best friends" Olsen.

This here just proves that Lena would have had second thoughts about have brought Cat Co if she knew at the time Kara was going to quit. She clearly thought Kara would be there to help her run it.

Lena also says "how often do you get to work with your best friend" it's so cute, and so sad. Lena was looking forward to working with Kara.

Fast forward to the end of the Episode and Kara has a realisation that Lena Luthor is a God Send and did EXACTLY what Kara wanted and couldn't give a rats ass she quit and decides being a"boo hoo my boyfriend is gone so I can no longer be the person I was well established to be before he showed up" Emo is ridiculous.

So first day at Cat Co and the elevator opens up to Lena and she looks excited and then meets Eve, who to be fair (even though we know what happens) is actually the nicest person to Lena the whole time she's at Cat Co and that includes her best friend and boyfriend.

James is shocked she dared show up to her own business without informing him, he then has the gall to say they don't have an office ready for her, erm.... James? Cats office is now HER office! Every office in Cat Co belongs to Lena now. He just assumes he's still running things and says he was thinking about weekly updates. Lena who is clearly used to men telling her how to run her businesses and setting her aside tells him there's no need and she will be there every day. James again is SHOCKED his new BOSS is going to be at her the place she spent $750 mil on 😑

Kara shows up and to begin with is a little love who gives Lena a diary and basically calls her family. But then Immediately runs off the moment Lena asks her to do something.

Kara does this more than once and Lena asks James what's she's doing and James dismisses Lena's question with a snotty "she's a reporter! It's what she does!" Seriously rude!! I don't give a rats ass she didn't tell James she was turning up and she did tell Kara. She had a reason to tell Kara, she wanted to work with her and trusts her. She had no reason to tell James, she has every reason to turn up and check out the buisness and how he's running it without him or anyone else dressing it up because the boss is there.

Lena is an understanding angel and even though Kara is ignoring instructions and being rude Lena isn't rude back. When Kara pushes it past the limit Lena has no choice but to reprimand her. Kara took full advantage of Lena here, thinking she could just do what she wanted because that's what she has been doing with James running things. News flash Kara, Lena isn't in on why you ditch work every 5 minutes.

Kara realizes she's been an ass and apologizes and Lena, understanding as ever immediately forgives and they hug it out.

Later Lena tragically gets involved with James even though he was pushy and handsy when she said she didn't want to do anything without talking to Kara first, because Sister's before Misters! She dotes on his ungrateful ass and he puts her whole business at risk by meeting and working with the COL which she told him not to do. Which she is FULLY entitled to so as his boss. He of course ignores her, she gets him a TV appearence to talk with Ben Lockwood which would boost his career and putCat Co in a anti COL light but noooo... Apparently Lena has no say in work matters! Did you read that correctly? Lena has NO say in WORK MATTERS!! why didn't she fire his ass on the spot?!!

So James, only caring for his ego and wanting to be relevant since no one ever remembers he's Guardian feels that hanging out with terrorists is more important than his job as the face of Cat Co, putting Cat Co at risk. To further put Lena's business in jepordy he picks KARA the junior reporter to take his place?!! Kara?? There wasn't a fully qualified journalist with more experience available? Well that went to shit anyway because Ben Lockwood destroyed Kara in that debate.

James nearly gets himself killed, nearly gets Kara killed, nearly commits an act of terrorism without any regard whatsover about what Lena, a LUTHORS association with the poster boy of the COL would look like, no regard for her hard earned reputation and no regard for her business.

James even humiliates her further by making her look whiny at Thanksgiving dinner in front of all their friends, even though 5 seconds later his little Field Trip with the COL proves how clueless he is since he didnt even realize what they were doing. He basically praised the guy he was with and thought he was on to something. What... A... Dumb... Ass!!

Remember James also revealed himself as Guardian, a STUPID idea that serves Virtually no real purpose, but Lena was supportive because she's an angel!! But he's a dumb ass and thinks he is above the law and thought HE of all people was able to stop the DA from going through with the charges against him for being a vigilante. James ACTUALLY thought by doing NOTHING he had fixed the problem, like the authorities just forget these things?

He decides going out as Guardian is a good idea even though no one needs him to do this and he serves no real purpose as Guardian. But Lena because she isn't a moron, tells him he WILL go to prison. He insults her and says she worries to much and he sorted that issue. Here Lena finally tells this jack ass that she solved that issue and what was his response to her declaration of love and not wanting to see him go to prison or die? "If you think that's what love is, I don't want it!" And he leaves her in a corridor to awkwardly go back into Kara's loft, humiliated.

James goes all Ross Gheller and invades Lena's space at L Corp after she told him she was busy and thankfully she kicks his ass out!

He pretends to be on board with her Harun El ideas and uses this to get her into bed, only to sit up looking awkward about it while she sleeps. (Jesus my 34 brother watched this and was like 'he basically lied so he could sleep with her)

James considers using Lena's own resources to investigate her?!!

Lena thankfully dumps his ass and stops coming to Cat Co.

Now here's where its really relevant:

Kara and James basically run Cat Co without Lena to the point she doesn't even show up anymore. Harun El experiments aside, Lena no longer feels excited to be working at at Cat Co on a new adventure with Kara. Plus why would she want to see James??

Kara basically ignores Lena as Kara but she treats her like absolute garbage as Supergirl. Then returns to her as her bestie Kara. Lena was up to this point unaware she was being duped. Lena even makes a comment to Kara when she FINALLY decides to remerge as Kara Danvers that Kara hasn't been there at all but Alex has.

Lena finds out that Supergirl asked Lena's BOYFRIEND to spy on her and betray her trust which he actually does do btw, then he sours things even further between Lena and Supergirl by revealing it?? What purpose did that really serve? And NO! Do not tell me 'he had to be honest' what he HAD to do, was not break into L Corp in the first place!

Now we have Alex reprimanding Supergirl for being an ass to Lena and they come to a shaky truce.

During this time Lena and Kara get close again by trying to track down Lex and then Lena and Supergirl have a few bonding moments. Kara, however let's Lena think she's been blown up for a good few seconds!!

Now Lena finds out that Kara has been lying to her this whole time, it was Kara who treated her like garbage as Supergirl, Kara who interfered in her personal relationships. It was all the other super friends all lying to her. Etc etc. She even saw Kara burning all the pics Linda's cell so Lena won't find out. She learns all of this from Lex of all people! This just tells Lena that Kara never trusted her, second guessing why they are even friends? Realising Kara tricked her into revealing personal feelings she would Never have told Supergirl to her, yelled at her, called her a Luthor and then came back to her as he shoulder to cry on oh and let her think she had died.

Yeah..... I wouldn't want to work at Cat Co with ANY of them either. No way is Lena going to want to work with James and Kara (I know James is leaving) and be the one paying their wages.

Lena was Virtually driven from Cat Co by James and Kara even before she learned the super secret. She was never really treated with the respect she deserved as their boss, and the thing is she never demanded it, she only pulled rank when they were being jack asses and thinking they were above being told what to do, acting like Lena being the owner and boss meant nothing.

Poor Lena's enthusiasm for working at Cat Co with Kara died very early on. Mostly thanks to both James and Kara. All that joy and optimism she had? It's all gone. 😢😢

So I'm glad she sold it!

Jac & Jesse

Jac: I think I've actually lost it fully now Jesse: ? Jac: You'd tell me, yeah Jesse: go on Jac: If I've been talking to imaginary people for the last two years, I'll be fuming at you Jesse: you've barely said owt for the last 2 years Jac: yeah, and that's served me so well today, Jesus Jac: Savannah Moore is here Jesse: add her middle name in an' all Jesse: ain't sure who you mean Jac: This is why I don't talk, twat Jesse: Sav's here and you feel what? Jac: More shocked than you are Jac: have you been checking her UCAS app or her socials, like? Jesse: you knew she might Jac: I stopped thinking maybes and what-ifs about her a long time ago Jesse: half an hour ago? Jac: Shut up Jac: you aren't helping here Jesse: I'm asking how it went Jesse: seeing her Jac: Inconveniently and mindfuckingly well Jesse: alright Jesse: start with the 1st bit Jac: Inconvenient? Jac: Well, it's inconvenient because she's still the most perfect person who's ever existed Jac: confirming that I was right every time I looked at a pretty girl and thought that she didn't compare to her Jesse: she's single now, I heard Jac: Therein lies the headfuck Jac: because one minute she's complimenting me, telling me she's missed me and everything else I could possibly wanna hear Jac: then the next she's talking about marrying Princes and having lots of perfect babies Jesse: with what word? Jesse: or words Jac: Perfect Jac: that's what she said Jac: that I was Jesse: not much of a headfuck then Jesse: she's being clear Jac: but it's not though, is it Jac: 'cos this is how she used to talk to me Jac: and we know what happened there Jesse: then either she's trying to tell you fuck all's changed Jesse: or she's testing the waters to see what could Jac: This is just Jac: unreal Jesse: what did you say back? Jac: I'm not prepared to read that back yet Jac: I was just trying not to overstep the mark and freak her out the whole time Jac: but obviously, some shit came out Jesse: shit that you wanted to come out or nah? Jac: that depends Jesse: on her Jac: Yeah Jesse: alright, what do you know about how her 2 years were? Jac: right Jac: she didn't like her school Jac: her sister did Jac: her dad is controlling as fuck, sounds like Jac: her mum had some kind of breakdown that was a long time coming and Sav didn't see her much and feels guilty about it all Jac: oh, and she had a boyfriend the whole time, obviously Jac: but he dumped her at the end of school Jesse: and she missed you Jac: yeah Jac: and that it weren't the same, with anyone else Jac: talking, being mates, like Jesse: that's loads Jesse: that's her letting you in Jac: She's a pretty open person Jac: I think Jac: I don't know Jac: not like us Jesse: you gave her nowt back then Jac: Not exactly Jac: I didn't spill my heart out there and then but I tried to be honest Jac: without being too much, you know Jesse: yeah Jac: Am I making a horrible mistake Jac: going back Jesse: not by talking to her Jesse: sounds like she needs it Jac: What do I need? Jesse: a drink Jesse: but not if you're seeing her again Jac: We're going shopping Jac: I had to get half an hour so I could scream into a pillow Jac: and message you, obvs Jesse: clothes? Jac: Potentially, but shit for my dorm, mainly Jesse: don't try anything on Jac: that's your advice, yeah? Jac: tah Jesse: 1st bit Jac: Don't hold out on me Jac: go on Jesse: slow it down Jesse: much as you can Jac: Alright Jesse: there's loads you don't know Jesse: she still might not know herself Jac: She definitely still projects straight Jac: whether she's thought about any other possibility privately, yeah, I don't know Jac: but then I might've said I fancied some Scottish lad accidentally so I can't say much Jesse: nice one, you prick Jac: I'll miss you too, dickhead Jac: she was going on about boys, I had to say SOMETHING Jesse: did you ever reckon she might be going on about boys to see what you'd say Jac: Pretty sure it was her ex she was chatting about, so unlikely Jac: and I couldn't drop in that I'd had fantasies about digging his eyes out with rusty spoons so Jac: it made sense at the time Jesse: last thing you said to her you were straight an' all Jesse: and you confirmed it 2 years on Jac: but I'm clearly painfully in love with her 😩 Jac: it's some bullshit that I've got to put that out there again to be shot down, again Jesse: she might need you to put it out there so she can do something Jesse: she might be reckoning she's going mad right now Jac: It'd be an effective way to get her off the course, but I don't know if I can handle the guilt of making her move to another shithole Jesse: it was her mum that tried to top herself, weren't it? Jesse: just realised Jac: What Jac: oh no Jac: you're 100%? Jesse: might not be Jesse: but I remember people talking about something Jesse: the time-line isn't off Jac: Shit Jac: well, I'm gonna need you to check because I had no idea Jac: she asked if I heard what happened with her mum but she obviously didn't go into specifics when I said nah Jac: what did I even say back, fucking hell Jesse: if it were her, she made a big scene about her 💔 on Facebook or somewhere beforehand Jesse: be easy to 🔍 Jac: How did I miss this Jac: I mean, I know how, I had to purge her from my life completely but Jac: that makes a lot of sense Jesse: you're fuming about the boyfriend and I get it Jesse: but who else had she got Jac: I'm not fuming at him Jac: like I wasn't actually fuming at Isabelle Jac: I know it's my own shit, but that didn't stop me holding it against them because it's easier Jesse: his existence, whatever Jesse: I'm saying everyone needs someone Jesse: it don't mean she doesn't want you Jac: that's the point, she's entitled to date whoever she likes, trust whoever she likes, and she should have that Jac: but when I wasn't enough that left me with no one Jac: and I was pissed at any lad who dated her for supposedly being half of me but still getting 1st place, and pissed at Isabelle for not being half of her but thinking it were the same in any way Jac: It was just Jac: I was angry all the time Jac: and she doesn't need that Jesse: she does if you're gonna do or be fuck all with her Jesse: she needs to know what it were like for you and you need to know what it's like for her Jac: I know Jac: but I don't know if I can open myself up to the possibility of that much hurt again Jesse: if you want me there, I'll be there Jesse: country not the convo Jac: I've been here all of ten seconds Jesse: give a shit Jesse: and bagpipes might be what this track needs, selfish prick Jac: 😂 Jesse: you ain't asked me my thoughts on how fit the Scottish are either Jesse: could be well in Jac: I've already covered that nicely without you, tah Jac: and fuck all people here are Scottish, it's mad Jesse: 👍 Jesse: do me better then Jac: Am I a compulsive liar or what? Jesse: bit strong Jac: I said I was more honest now Jac: and I did say some shit I meant to Jac: but why the fuck couldn't I just Jac: say it Jesse: you can't undo all that straight girl bollocks in a day Jesse: she don't even realise Jac: I just didn't wanna let her down when she said her kids needed best friends Jac: that's as mental as it sounds Jac: fucking hell Jesse: hang on Jesse: what Jac: not kids like current, she's not had a load Jac: when we were friends, the plan was, we go to uni together then we get jobs in the same field and then we have kids and live in the same place so they can be friends forever like us Jac: I am aware male friendships tend not to go that hard Jac: straight girl bollocks Jesse: I dunno what the fuck to say to that Jac: This is what I'm saying Jac: she'll just drop stuff like that Jesse: she wants to doing everything in her life with you forever, that's really gay Jac: only with 🤴🏾🤴🏾 in tow Jac: it'd 🤯 if I suggested we could take the spunk and run Jac: not part of the fairytales, is it Jesse: that's the point Jesse: she wants what she's been conditioned to want Jac: Maybe by year three we'll be sorted Jac: our head of department legit warned us that loads of people split up once they start #realizingthings on this course, like Jesse: right laugh Jac: 🧠 Jac: the laugh is me being able to help anyone's fucked head by the end of this, like Jesse: I dunno, you've helped me a bit Jac: if you write a song about this I'll expect a fucking fat check out of it Jesse: I can get my own straight boy whenever I want Jesse: you ain't special Jac: How dare you Jesse: 🖕😏 Jesse: 🤠 Jac: I should just Jac: never attend lectures and never leave this room Jesse: piss off Jesse: she'd come 👀 Jac: I can't be her maid of honour Jac: something's got to give, at some point Jesse: then don't Jesse: give her the options Jac: well easy in theory Jac: like LOVE ME OR LEAVE isn't an insane thing to throw at someone Jesse: like she hasn't thrown loads of mad shit at you Jac: If I could be more like her, I would Jac: 1000% she's not sat in her room freaking out right now Jac: she just does and says what she wants and moves on Jac: I do none of the above Jesse: how's that working out for her? Jesse: she sounds buzzing to me Jesse: not fucked up at all Jac: We're both insane Jesse: when you met her she was crying in a bathroom Jesse: just saying Jac: I remember, thank you very much Jac: I feel like I was a fucking predator Jac: like I knew she was vulnerable or some shit Jesse: don't start Jac: If I'd focused on being a better friend Jac: none of this would've happened Jac: just saying Jesse: you wanna be more honest, you said Jesse: how is suppressing how you feel and friendzoning yourself doing her any favours Jac: She said I always say the right things, when it matters Jac: it worked Jac: 'til it didn't Jesse: the right things for her Jesse: stop being a dickhead and say the right things for you Jac: but Jac: fuck me, you know Jesse: we all take the piss out of Jude but she's the happiest for doing it, deny it Jac: if you want me to do anything, saying I'll be like Jude is a bad tactic Jesse: it ain't about what I want Jac: yeah well Jac: reckon our time is up Jesse: bit rude Jac: I told you at the top you had half an hour Jesse: she's kept you waiting years Jesse: might make it forever if you're right about the best friend babies bollocks Jac: you wanna have a word with your own mixed messages Jac: first you want me to tell her everything, now you want me to stand her up Jesse: you fucking heard me say slow it down Jesse: that's not spilling owt in a changing room, Jackie Jesse: sort your head out Jac: Don't call me that Jac: and don't be pissy 'cos your advice has gone in about 20 different directions Jac: it's a confusing situation, I did not need you to mansplain that to me Jesse: shots fired, Jacqueline 🤠 Jesse: I ain't got the full story and neither have you Jesse: can't do nowt about that personally Jac: that's why I'm going to go see her now Jac: I'm touched, you're so upset about me leaving Jac: but I'll be back at Christmas Jesse: I ain't about to leg it from my emotions Jesse: I can say I'm upset Jac: No shit Jac: your bread and butter Jac: I'm gonna get paid for understanding other people's, not my own Jesse: I just Jesse: not again, you know Jac: I'm fine Jac: seriously Jesse: Dad ain't entered the chat Jesse: you can't fob me off with no fine Jac: this wasn't a 'meant to call the samaritans, called you by mistake' situation though Jac: I really am Jac: no real emergency here Jesse: alright, but if takes longer than 2 years to get a word out of you should this go tits up again, I'll be fuming Jac: you should say you enjoyed the peace and quiet Jesse: it was shit Jac: I know Jesse: I'm chuffed you get to have another crack at it but Jesse: trying to write some less angsty bollocks here Jac: I've got to see it through regardless Jac: we all know that Jac: she's here, we're on the same friggin' course, there's no ignoring it now Jesse: well yeah Jesse: just if you could gimme 😁 or 😍 for next summer, I'd have a hit Jac: if you can get your own straight boy, you can get your own 😁 or 😍 Jesse: you really need to have a word with yourself about this aversion you've got to inspiring me Jac: you'll be on the list of top users with me if you don't stop stealing people's angst and heartbreak for dollar Jesse: soz I don't have my own Jac: ugh Jac: go away now, bastard Jesse: 👍 Jesse: good talk Jac: was passable, anyway Jesse: have Jude rate it /10 Jac: she gets the room to herself Jac: she owes me rn, not you Jesse: what rating's she got Sav on? Jac: She's not dare do that in years Jesse: if she knew it'd be - figures Jac: again, using our sister's poor taste is nothing but affirming Jac: she doesn't like you, by the way Jesse: Jude? Jac: Ha, no Jac: Savannah Jesse: knew that Jac: Well it cheered me up a great deal Jesse: fancying both me and you would be a headfuck too far for her Jac: Don't be disgusting Jesse: it would Jesse: especially as she only likes lads if they're exactly right Jac: Boring, is what you mean Jesse: safe Jac: lacking personality Jesse: long as they make up for it in looks Jesse: so she can take a good 📸 Jac: ew Jac: not even Jac: they look like male versions of her, which is to say less refined and nowhere near as pretty Jesse: psychoanalyse that Jac: don't take a degree Jac: if they look like her, they look like her dad Jac: or her ma, whichever way she's feeling it Jac: then she can do it right and no one gets hurt Jesse: 🤢 Jac: 🤷 Jac: don't judge Jac: 'cos ours have only fucked you up in ways that make you decent enough at 🎶 that it's worth it Jesse: tah for giving 'em all the credit Jesse: nowt to do with me Jac: come off it Jac: you get enough general acclaim Jesse: sound more thrilled Jac: If you think I'm about to express an emotion for you Jesse: not that thick Jesse: finished school and everything me Jac: I was there Jac: believe it or not Jesse: 👻 Jac: 🙄 Jac: something like that Jesse: piss off and see your girlfriend then Jac: 👍

Hi! It's me again! 145 or 113 (bc I can't chose fjjkk) for pynch prompt 💜

z~113. “I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them”

.-

Send Me A Prompt

.-

Adam’s always appreciated the light thrumming of life that buzzed in Washington, even in the middle of the night. It’s no where as loud as Boston had been, but still, it distracts Adam from floundering in his own thoughts that even now threaten to swallow him whole in an ocean of insecurities and doubt that had first bore to life in the precarious stillness subsequent Robert’s fists and his mother’s impassive gaze. Nights of wondering if he’ll ever be good enough. Good Enough to earn his parent’s affections, Gansey’s friendship, Blue’s warmth…. Which all eventually culminated into questioning if he’ll ever be good enough to deserve the near reverent way Ronan regards him, has always regarded him. To deserve the soft touches and encapsulating kisses and the way Ronan looks at Adam as if he’s the answer to his every question, as if Ronan could find what he’s looking for whispered between the space of Adam’s lips.

Adam tries not to  bother figuring out the latter anymore because he knows he never will find a sensible answer. Knows that he’s never deserved Ronan and all Ronan’s brought to his world, transforming the muted grayscale of his carefully methodical outlook into vivid tones of impossibilities come true. No matter how much he loves Ronan, how he never wants to be without him. How Adam thinks Ronan has become a fixture in his very soul that he could never fathom breathing without, he still is so very inept. He still can’t tell him his feelings in so many words— much more preferential to gentle caresses and tender kisses that can bring his feelings to life—   and he knows he still comes off aloof and cold during their more real arguments— despite how sparing they might be. Adam can’t ever contort his mouth in the right ways to speak out loud words of comfort and vulnerability he was so deprived of once upon a time. But still, he tries. Adam tries because this’s Ronan, and he wouldn’t be true to himself if he didn’t give Ronan— give them— all he had.

“It’s not your fault,” Adam says, flicks off residue from one of the bright blue creepy-crawlies that had followed Ronan into the real world, from his legs.

Ronan’s only response is an indignant huff.

Looking at him now, Adam can’t help but marvel at how beautiful and sincere and unshielded he truly is. The dark shadows paint across his face and the light spills over him so that his profile is nothing but flat planes, made all the more sharp, and pale eyes shifting to a haunting, stormy grey rather than the icy oceans Adam has always known and has always ben able to see through. Eyes he’s been enthralled with since he had only viewed Ronan as the savagely handsome best friend of Gansey’s who infuriated him in ways Adam never was able to quite comprehend.

“Don’t. Don’t do that.” Adam tells him, moving so that they’re shoulder to shoulder. “Don’t push me out because you’re mad.”

“I’m not,” Ronan says, hurried and stubborn, his face morphing into something desperate. 

“Ronan,” Adam says, but actually means bullshit, and the translation seems to have gone through if the decidedly ceded expression that passes Ronan’s rough but handsome features is anything to go by.

“I hate that I can’t control it, that no matter what I do.”

“Hey,” Adam laces their fingers together and squeezes. “Nothing happened.” He kisses Ronan’s shoulder right then, is relieved when he feels the slight loosening of tension there. He’s suddenly, acutely thankful to all the stars above that Ronan can understand the spaces of words that go unspoken between them.

“This time,” Ronan sours, eyes flickering to their closed door and Adam understands him completely. Understands that Ronan doesn’t care if those poisonous arachnids had bitten him, Ronan never cared. The only thing Ronan cares about when concerning bringing back his uncontrolled dream things is the possibility that they could hurt any number of the three people he loves more than breathing. One, Adam, who sleeps right besides him every night. And the other two— their set of twins— are just right across the hall.

“It could so easily go wrong.”

“It won’t,” Adam says with more steel than even he expected.

“How do you know?” Ronan asks pleadingly. Hesitantly. Imploringly. Like someone would a prophet.

“Ro,” Adam says, quiet and tentative while he runs the pads of his fingers down Ronan’s cheek, tracing the outline of his nose and lips and jaw. Landing on the hollow where Adam could feel his heartbeat, swooping forwards to press another open mouthed kiss to it, revels in the sensation of Ronan carding a hand through his hair, nails lightly scratching Adam’s scalp. “I’m here for you, always. I won’t ever let anything happen to you or the kids, and I know you won’t ever either. Stop worrying, okay.” Another kiss on Ronan’s mouth, arms wrapped around his waste to pull him even closer. “Else you’ll start getting wrinkle lines and I’ll have to find myself a new trophy husband.”

“Pff,” Ronan snorts, rubs a ginger hand down Adam’s naked back. He can feel the cool scrape of the golden wedding band Adam’s got a matching pair too. “If anyone’s the arm candy here it’s totally you.”

“Fuck off.” 

“Lynch farms just got another expansion fuck face,” Ronan preens, and Adam loves him like this. Boasting and teasing and always, always so soft whenever he peers down at Adam. “Me and my heard are gonna blow fucking Wisconsin right off the map with our Dairy prowls.”

“Actually I think California’s now the state to beat for title of Dairy capitol,” Adam corrects with a nonchalant shrug.

“What the fuck ever shit head,” Ronan snipes, words full of humor.

“Come back to bed.”

“I shouldn’t,” Ronan frowns, and Adam doesn’t miss the fear, fear that’s only ever directed to himself, that ghosts across his face. He parts his lips to argue and chide at him that he needs to trust himself, but Ronan must’ve seen that coming from a mile ahead because he stops it with another resounding kiss that Adam can feel to his core.

“Had to be up anyways,” Ronan explains amidst heavy breaths that mirror Adam’s own. “Me and Opal were gonna check out that Farmer’s Market back in Henrietta and Declan wanted to join.”

“Fine,” Adam gripes, follows him out the bedroom to help collect the things he’ll be needing partially because  he’s too riled  up to go back to bed now, but mostly because he knows that if he leaves now Ronan won’t be back until late afternoon. He always misses him so achingly during these long trips away from their home.

God does Adam love that, the idea that he’s got this. He’s got a home that he gets to share with the man he loves more than any other and his two kids that he would willingly lay down his life for. Sometimes he has to stop and just take it all in, climb out of the memories of crying on the steps of the trailer wondering if anything was worth existing in that plane, and thinking that the kid he was finally found that worth.

Adam passes Ronan a thermos  of coffee for him and an herbal tea for Opal, sends him off with one final peck of farewell. 

“You should welcome me home with a martini,” Ronan goads, grin gone sharp and slightly feral. “Put on a slutty genie outfit?”

Adam pinches his forearm, hard.

“I will never play out some kinda  I Dream of Jeannie tableau for you dickwad, get over it.”

“You can’t blame a man for trying,” Ronan shrugs, goes off to kiss the tops of the kids’ sleeping heads and one more for Adam before he has to finally head out to the BMW.

Sometimes Adam forgets that these long days apart are just as hard for him.

.-

“Is it Daddy’s birthday?” Livvy asks, hiked brow and pinched lipped. 

“No,” says Adam while pulling out spare mixing bowls from the cupboard— a miracle that he even knows where they are if he’s being at all honest considering that the kitchen is Ronan’s realm of expertise and all Adam’s good for is washing dishes and occasionally toasting bread.

“Are you graduating again?” Gage— a near spitting image of his sister, with all their trappings of dark hair and intense eyes and thin lips, asks with owlish eyes.

“Not that either.”

“Then why on God’s green earth are we baking cupcakes?”

Jesus fucking Christ do these kids have some mouths on them. Adam would like to blame it totally on Ronan’s frame of mind that unfiltered speech is the only way he’d speak around his kids, everything else is disingenuous. But also Adam knows that ever since they had first brought them home, ten months old and just barely crawling, that they’ve gotten just as much of his cynical outlook than what Adam would’ve liked.

“Because squirt,” Adam pulls out his phone to search for a decently simple recipe he both had the ingredients on hand to bake, and one that wouldn’t turn out a utter mess. “Daddy woke up a bit sad this morning and I thought that if we made him this, it would show we were thinking bout him and he wouldn’t be so sad anymore.”

The twins look suitably cowed at that, both pairs of eyes going pleading and chorusing a thousand questions on whether Ronan’s okay and when he’ll be coming home and how they could help.

“He’s fine kiddos, just was gonna miss you guys when he went out with Opal and Uncle Declan today. But he’ll be home any minute so I wanna make sure this is done by then, kay?”

Gage nods with grave certainty, wielding a whisk like a weapon of war, but Livvy still looks a bit unsure.

“Aunt Blue says that your cooking should be considered a weapon of mass destruction.”

“Like a nuke!” Gage tacks on helpfully.

“Or mustard gas.”

“Ooo! Or like—“

“Neither of you are ever allowed to say the names of weapons out loud again! Not ever! Adam scolds with no actual heat.

“Hey, but what about,” Gage points to Chainsaw, who’s perching atop the refrigerator watching them. 

“Not my problem.”

They both role their eyes but don’t press the point.

“Papa are you sure you can do this?”

“It’s baking Liv, not cooking a full course meal.” He says, only slightly indignant.

“Ms Gomez says that science is just like baking and that’s why it’s way harder than just normal cooking.”

Adam’s expression goes flat.

“You get to crack the eggs!”

“Oh yay!” Livvy crows and Gage howls with the unfairness of it all.

.-

An hour and a half later finds their white marble top island of their spacious kitchen splattered with batter and oil and substances Adam isn’t sure he recognizes. There’s a tray of a dozen cupcakes in the oven but Adam isn’t quite sure that they’re meant to be staying flat, refusing to rise even once the halfway mark passes.

“Aunt Blue’s always right,” Livvy says sagely.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Adam can’t help but agree while frowning at the mess, his heart contracting the moment he hears the front door swing open and the recognizable thudding of Ronan’s farm boots.

“Oh joy,” he mutters as the kids dash off to the front parlor, leaping into Ronan’s arms, batter splattered hands and all.

“Mother of God Parrish,” he bellows, obviously in a better mood than this morning. “What are these changelings doing here and where are our actual kids?”

Adam can’t help the way his mouth dips down into a small, delighted grin, his heart doing palpitations at the sight of the three people he loves more than anything all together in one spot.

“No Daddy!” Livvy squawks. “It’s us!”

“We were making you cupcakes because we thought you were sad and we hate it when you’re sad and we love you and Papa is really bad at anything in the kitchen but he tried.”

“Thanks Gage,” Adam ruffles a hand in his hair, tugs softly on Livvy’s pigtail before kissing Ronan hello.”

“You taste like sugar.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

Ronan’s answering laugh is something splendid. 

“You guys didn’t have to go through the trouble.”

“We love you Daddy,” Livvy argues, kissing the back of his hand and making Ronan’s expression go gentle in the way it only ever does for them.

“Thanks princess, love you more though.”

Livvy sticks out her tongue, contentious. 

“Look I’m sure your Pops has made the kitchen a living nightmare,” Ronan says, and Adam pulls a face at him, affronted. “So what about we go out to grab something sweet from Nothing But Buns?”

They chorus excited words of affirmation and Adam refuses to let Ronan in the kitchen till it’s cleaned up.

“Fuck, it looks like World War III or some shit in there, doesn’t it”

“One more crack at my cooking resembling a war zone and I swear I’m filing for a divorce,” Adam threatens.

Ronan just laughs and something deep in Adam’s chest blooms, pleased that at the very least the cupcakes had their intended effect.

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)

Good morning lovers and haters may the gracious Lord of Hosts bless each and every one of you and yours according to his gloriously perfect will. I'm off in the head this morning, I was finally able to get some sleep and now true to form I'm struggling to stay awake; I may just tank the day and go back under until tomorrow if it gets much more difficult, I'm still waiting to hear from the sleep specialist to set up an evaluation. I am praying that things iron themselves out with the beginning of the new year however I still have hope as God is in control!

On Wednesday December 29, 2021 in Dayton Ohio at 11:10AM the temperature is 45° but it feels like 46° with a high of 47° to a low of 41° expect cloudy skies throughout the day into the night, bundle up it's that uncertain weather that catches people off guard with unexpected illness. Street people many of us are praying for you and your wellbeing stay warm and be safe, may the merciful God of all Creation bless and keep you now and forever; remember that he loves you and so do so many of us out here, you are worthy of love and hope.

I was contacted by my new case manager yesterday as I was attempting for probably the one hundred and first time to struggle through the Stay Put packet on my own because the landlady basically attacked me Monday telling me I had to do it myself and turn it in yesterday sending me into an anxious frenzy for all of Monday through the night and into Tuesday all day into last night, South had a four days weekend so my case manager was off Monday she started getting everything ready to submit yesterday; she called me from the planning office this morning for the last piece of information that she needed as she was submitting the packet, so now hopefully things are underway and I will attempt to breathe once again.

I am doing my best to cling to the word of God and not struggle in my head, it seems so many things are going on right now that I can't keep them sorted so everything is just like this giant glob of stuff in my brain; I hope in his word though and trust in his spirit even in the dark times, I am holding onto a verse from Psalms today.

I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me. Psalm 57:2

I am lifting everything up to him in prayer and trusting that he has already worked everything out, it may seem a simple thing to read these updates that I share but trust they are not; OCD has me typing each sentence an average of fifteen times apiece, autocorrect and spell check cause the task to be even more tedious but it is a good therapy for me because I have to focus past the random noises and the brain fog in order to attempt to make any sense. So while I am on the subject let me raise praise and thanks to God Above for the ability and resources to share these times with you all.

Please continue to raise my friends up in prayer for healing and restoration, they have been put into quarantine for a time and so not feel well at all; the Lord knows them and their needs so thank you for including them as you supplicate it is very much appreciated.

Second cup of coffee of the morning and still struggling with staying awake, keep fighting dozing off in my seat; it makes trying to stay focused very difficult but God willing I will get through this and share it with you all and we can agree in the spirit that the Lord will overcome in this battle, remember we are promised "where two or three are gathered together in my name, there in the midst am I" thank you Jesus for being in our midst. It's been weird lately I must've hit the devil's nerve cause it has felt like I've been under a strong spiritual attack, nothing new really been in and out of these conflicts for many years now; Jesus is at the helm I have nothing to fear I know but it is unsettling while they are happening, God grant us strength of heart and peace of mind in Jesus name. Amen

I am at the end of my campaign here, God willing I will receive the final $300 to $400 to end successfully prior to the New Year's coming; few expenses are left and I've been pumping all of my paychecks and every dime I can get into bills and transportation costs, just need to pay for the last three things electric and gas and something else that I'm not recalling at the moment $300 would cover gas and electric $400 would cover everything and out the campaign quite a ways past goal. At this point I am just thankful for all the love and prayer support and praising God to have come this far, it has been quite a journey and the lord has walked with us every step of the way thank you Jesus; I have never even met most of y'all but I can feel your presence in my spirit and I am so blessed by you, I will continue to pray for you and your households and may the grace of God rest upon you all and the love of God fill your lives through Jesus Christ our Living Lord and Saviour. I pray that you have a wonderful day...

If you would like to contribute and bypass the fees and processing time that it takes using this site please use one of the following methods. Try it using my code and you’ll get $5. CCRMRMW

https://cash.app/app/CCRMRMW

Earn $10 for signing up after you make a bank- or card-funded payment of at least $5 within 14 days.

Download the app using my referral link: https://get.venmo.com/k3Z8MOTT8lb

COSMIC - S1:E1; Chapter One, The Vanishing of Will Byers - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘖𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥.

𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟔𝐓𝐇, 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟑

𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐒, 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐀

𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

𝐔.𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘

The night is quiet, as it always has been in this small corner of Indiana, and yet this night is unlike any other. The halls were especially bare, occupied only by the melody of the generator humming as it struggled to pump light throughout the twisted maze of halls. That was, until...

BAM

The steel door rips open, colliding fast and hard with the walls with a fantastic thud. Swallowing all remaining silence along with it, was the cry of alarms that flood the hallway as he runs for his life. The man finds himself at the elevator, furiously slamming his hand against the elevator button hoping just maybe it might make the elevator come faster. As he does so, the man continues to look over his shoulder in a panic.

He knows its after him.

BOOM

He knows its close.

The man is thrilled to hear the soft ding of the elevator signaling its arrival. Before the doors are even opened all the way the man quickly ducks through and proceeds to frantically hit the UP button inside the elevator.

The doors begin to close.

For a second he believes he just might make it. But that doesn't completely cast away the fear as he can't seem to take his eyes off of the eerie hallway, expecting its arrival. The man attempts to calm his breathing. His hopes of escaping are growing stronger as things quiet down.

That's when he hears it.

That... Thing.

It takes every remaining ounce of courage for the man to slowly look up, but on some level, he already knows he is done for.

A low growl is heard above him followed by an unusual yet terrifying squeak.

The man's screams were cut off with the shut of the doors as he is yanked up towards the ceiling of the elevator. The man is no more.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

It's quiet. The faint sound of sprinklers outside can be heard as we wait for Mike to continue. We are all on the edge of our seats. It's already hard enough they still can't find proper seating for me since I officially joined the party, so, for now, I'm wedged between my best friend Will and my brother Dustin.

"Something is coming. Something hungry for blood," Mike says, his voice barely above a whisper. "A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness."

Subconsciously we all slowly lean in waiting for whatever happens next.

"It is almost here."

"What is it?" Will asks suddenly, no longer capable of containing his curiosity.

This time it's Dustin who cuts in, "What if it's the Demogorgon?"

I take a deep breath in suspense. Out of the corner of my eye, Will practically throws himself back in his seat.

"Oh, Jesus, we're so screwed if it's the Demogorgon." Dustin rambles on.

Lucas speaks up, "It's not the Demogorgon." He sounds very sure of himself which gives me more confidence.

We all jump a little in our seats when Mike slams one of the game pieces down in front of us suddenly as he shouts "An army of troglodytes charge into the chamber!"

I sigh in great relief as Lucas gives a very smug and quite frankly, sassy look to Dustin as he props his elbow on the back of his chair which earns a soft chuckle from me.

"Troglodytes?" Dustin asks in disbelief.

"Told ya," I roll my eyes at Lucas despite the smile that grows on my face.

Everyone shares a good laugh, all of us relieved when my eyes meet Will's and we share a smile and a shake of the head as if silently saying 'I can't believe we were so worried for nothing'.

Simultaneously all of our smiles melt away when Mike starts looking around as he says, "Wait a minute. Did you hear that?"

"That...That sound," he says softly.

"Boom... Boom," his voice is getting slightly louder with each 'boom'. We all stare at Mike expectantly, hanging on to his every word.

"BOOM!" Mike is shouting at this point as he slams his hands against the wooden surface making the table as well as all of us jump.

I always get too into these games, I realize. My heart is racing as adrenaline courses through my veins. I look over and it seems when I jumped I grabbed on to the nearest thing next to me which happened to be Will's arm. Sheepishly, I retract my hand and look back at Mike in anticipation.

"That didn't come from the troglodytes. No, that... That came from something else." Mike continues.

We all look around at each other as we wait for Mike.

In an instant, Mike slams down the next figure on the board and exclaims, "The Demogorgon!"

'Yep. We're screwed.'

The silence is replaced with all of our defeated groans. Dustin sighs and says, "We're in deep shit."

Mike suddenly says, "Will, your action!"

"I don't know!" Will sounded desperate.

We're all on edge, but the boys are completely panicking.

"Fireball him!" Lucas shouts.

"I'd have to roll a 13 or higher!"

"Too risky." Dustin cuts in. "Cast a protection spell!"

Lucas turns to Will and says "Don't be a pussy," I roll my eyes. "Fireball him!"

At this point, Lucas and Dustin are just yelling at each other.

"Cast protection."

Our attention is quickly brought back to Mike when he shouts, "The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering! It stomps towards you."

"BOOM!"

"FIREBALL HIM!"

"Another stomp. BOOM."

"Cast. Protection."

"He roars in anger!"

At this point, everyone is yelling over one another; it's utter chaos, and finally I snap.

"Oh, come on, I'M tired of your silly human bickering, just let the boy roll!" It's hard to be heard over all the yelling but, by some miracle,, they manage to hear me and it's quiet for a split second as Will gets a chance to speak.

"And, FIREBALL!" He throws the dice on the table out of excitement and they go flying onto the floor.

"Oh shit!"

We all jump to our feet, scrambling to find the dice in anticipation.

"Where'd it go?" Lucas asks. "Where is it?"

Will almost sounded defensive, "I don't know!"

"Is it a 13?"

"How are we supposed to know if we haven't found the dice yet, Dustin?" I retort.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Dustin chants as he paces back and forth. I roll my eyes as I continue to search on my hands and knees.

"Mike," It was Mrs. Wheeler.

"Mom we're in the middle of a campaign!" Mike exclaims.

"You mean the end? Fifteen after."

Mike sighs, exasperated and runs up the stairs.

I hear Lucas accuse Will. "Oh, my God! Freaking Idiot!"

"Lucas," I ease. "come on, it's not his fault. We were all caught up in the game. Let's just focus on- OH! Found 'em!"

I jump to my feet, pointing down at the D-20 for my friends to see and not wanting to tamper with the roll. The boys come running over and practically trampled me in the process.

"Shit, it's a seven." We all groan in frustration, especially Will.

"Does a seven count?" Will asked hopefully.

"Did Mike see it?" Lucas counters.

"Well, no."

"Then it doesn't count."

I sigh, beginning to pack up my bags and tidy up my mess knowing it was time to leave. The others do the same.

"Why do we have to leave?" Will asks sadly as we head up the stairs. "It was just getting good,"

"I know," I swing my arm off his shoulder dramatically with a sigh as we head up the basement stairs and for the garage door. "I know. But hey, just think how awesome the next one will be, eh?" I tease trying to get my best friend to smile.

||𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Y/n has always been so good at cheering people up, I have no idea how they do it.

"Hey, guys. I'm sorry we had to end it so soon." Y/n and I turn around looking at Mike.

"No sweat, Mikey." Y/n shrugs, with a smile.

I love that smile. Suddenly their arm leaves my shoulder, and I frown a little.

I sigh inwardly, I've had such a bad crush on Y/n since Dustin and them moved here in the 4th grade. Y/n has no idea... I hope. I always admired them from afar, that is until they finally convinced Dustin to let them into the party. We were all glad to have them, Dustin can be a little overprotective is all. I'm not sure about Dustin, but as for Mike and Lucas, they know I like Y/n. Those guys can read me like a book, and once they caught on there was no convincing them otherwise.

"Hey, Mike? Where is Dustin?" Y/n asks.

That's a good point, I realize. He was right behind us but he hasn't come outside yet.

"I think he went upstairs to give the leftovers to Nancy."

"Oh, okay. I'll just wait here then. Uh oh, your plant is dying," Y/n said suddenly, kneeling down by the withering plant by the patio.

"Yeah, that's my mom's tomato plant. That thing is hopeless. She basically gave up on it."

"Well, I might be able to help," they said thoughtfully, beginning to scan the garage. "Where do you keep your gardening- Oh, never mind!"

Y/n quickly runs over to the shelves, retrieving some old packets and ran back over to the plant, kneeling beside it.

You can always tell when they are concentrating; they always do this cute thing where they furrows their brow and chew their lip. My stomach does a little flip when I realize I was staring again and I quickly refocus my attention on my vest zipper. I still manage to see Y/n fiddling with the the packet to get it open, finally sprinkling the contents into the dirt before mixing it in with their finger. All the while, they mutter words of encouragement towards it. I remember them telling me one day about a study conducted on plants and how it was proved that they respond well to positive feedback, and the memory makes me smile. They were so fascinated by it; it was hard not to be as excited about it as they were when they told us about it.

Y/n stands up, brushing themselves off and smiles at Mike and then me.

I kinda froze, not in panic but in awe. They just radiates warmth, and positivity effortlessly.

"What?" They chuckle, smiling at me.

I shake my head in embarrassment and look away, zipping up my vest and getting on my bike.

Lucas just rolls his eyes at my behavior. He's always telling me to just go for it but it's not that easy.

We all look to the door when we hear it slam. It's Dustin.

"There's something wrong with your sister." He grumbles.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's got a stick up her butt."

"Yeah," Lucas joins in. "It's because she's been dating that douche bag, Steve Harrington."

"Yeah, she's turning into a real jerk."

"She's always been a real jerk!" Mike interrupts.

"Nuh-uh. She used to be cool, like the time she dressed up as an elf for our elder tree campaign." With that, Dustin headed off on his bike, followed by Y/n but not before sending me a smile and thanking Mike.

"It was a seven," I tell him, thinking back on the campaign.

"Huh?"

"The roll, it was a seven. The Demogorgon, it got me."

Mike seems a bit shocked at my truthfulness, but ultimately shrugs it off, nodding. I nod back.

"See you later!" I say as I start peddling away.

I catch up just in time to see Lucas bid his goodbyes.

"Good night, ladies!" He chimes.

"Kiss your mom 'night for me," Dustin calls before looking over at me.

"Race you back to my place? Winner gets a comic?"

Before I can respond Y/n speaks up, "and am I included this time, like at all?"

"Course not," he says nonchalantly. I shake my head, feeling kinda bad for them, but I know it's just sibling banter.

"Well then," they scoff. "Don't be surprised if your bike tires mysteriously deflate one day, Dustin. There's all kinds of weirdos around here,"

I laugh, and Dustin just ignores them.

"Any comic?" I ask.

"Yeah!" As we are about to start we both look back when we hear Y/n frantically yelling, "Shit! DUSTIN HELP!"

I look back to see them winking at me with a smile on their face. Automatically realizing what they are up to, I booked it.

Fortunately for me, Dustin wasn't so quick. I could hear his frantic cries, suddenly struggling to keep his bike steady as he attempts to look back, "Jesus, Y/n what's wrong-? HEY, WHAT THE HELL?!"

There it is. Although, I was already far ahead.

"DAMMIT Y/N, IF I LOSE YOU OWE ME A COMIC BOOK!"

I can hear Y/n's laughter from here and it makes me smile. As the laughter grows more and more distant, I hear "GO WILL, GO!"

Somehow my smile gets bigger, and my legs go faster.

"Hey! Hey! Get back here! I'm gonna kill you! BOTH of you!"

"I'll take your X-Men 134!" I shout as I pass his house and take the shortcut to my own.

As I slow down my mind starts to wonder; It wanders to the campaign today. It wanders to how Y/n helped me win the race and my new comic book just moments ago. It wanders to Y/n grabbing my arm during the campaign and how I don't think I've ever blushed that hard… My mind wanders to Y/n.

Sometimes I really hate how much I like them. How I can't get them out of my head. They've always been such a good friend to me and I just don't get how someone can be so nice, and thoughtful and-

My thoughts are cut short when I notice my bike light flickering. I look down at it in confusion. Just then it comes back on. I look back at the road and I see a disturbingly tall, ominous figure staring me down. My heart practically stops in the figure's wake.

My body reacted before my mind could; I yanked my bike right and as I cruise down the ditch, my bike topples over and I'm sent to the muddy ground. It takes me a second to gather my senses as I warily pick myself up and try and get a glimpse of what I just saw. My heart starts racing faster as I hear an alarming and indistinct growling. I'm whimpering at this point but I don't care. I ditch my bike without a second thought and book it as fast as I can in the direction of my house.

I'm sniveling and panting as I make it through the fog that covers the road in front of my house. I make it on to the porch, throw open the door, and slam it shut just as fast. My fingers fumble to secure every single lock on the door and for the first time in my life I wonder why we don't have more. All the while, Chester is barking like crazy.

"Mom?" I'm running through the house looking in every room for any sign of my mom or Jonathan.

"Jonathan? Mom?"

'Crap they must be working. Crap! No No No!'

I run back into the living room and throw the blinds over my head, wincing as it hit the back of my head. But I waste no time in cupping my hands up against the glass to get a better look at the yard to see if I can spot the figure.

My stomach drops what feels like ten stories.

I can see it in the distance right between the sheets that were hung out to dry.

It's just standing there. Menacingly. (a/n: If you understood that reference, and actually thought it was funny let's be friends please 😂)

It starts stomping towards the house.

I gasp and start running for the phone.

I hastily pick the phone up from the mount and my fingers are shaking as I try and dial 911 as fast as possible.

I can hear it ringing. I can hear the click as if someone picked up. I waste no time, "Hello? HELLO?!"

All I can hear over the phone now is static, and then a disturbing, yet familiar screech-like growl. Chester's barking is getting louder and more frequent indicating that It's right outside. I slowly peer around the corner to look at the glass window on the door and I can barely make out the menacing shadowy figuring looming outside the door. I can hear it growling from outside.

Chester's barks quickly turn into whimpers as he backs away towards me.

Then the unthinkable happens.

The chain lock on the inside of the door starts unlocking itself.

'Shit!'

At this point, I realize I'm never going to be able to outrun it so I'm going to have to at least try to defend myself. I remember the gun we keep in the shed out back and make a run for it, not even bothering to hang up the phone. I nearly trip on my own feet as I run for the shed. I make it inside and slam the shed door behind me in the process. I quickly but carefully take the gun off the wall and set it on the shelf as I scramble for the ammo. My fingers are still trembling as I fumble to put the bullets in the magazine.

Once I finally get the magazine in, I pick up the gun and aim it at the shed door waiting. It seems as though I can't even keep the gun steady since my entire body is completely tremoring, even my unsteady breaths.

It has to be close by now.

As if on cue I hear the deep growling that I've already heard twice tonight and for a couple of moments I think it's outside. But then I realize why it sounds so close.

It's in the shed with me.

It's behind me.

The fear is nearing paralyzing, but I still manage to command my body to turn around to get a look at this relentless monster. When I see it I just stand there in utter disbelief, the gun slowly and subconsciously lowering to my side in shock. I'm completely frozen in place as I stare at the beast in front of me. The hanging light bulb above me glows intensively brighter with every passing second. The last thing I see before I'm cloaked in pure white light and an unbearable chill is the monster's long arm reaching out for me.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

❥ Let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist! ❥

39: The Terrible Truth

March 6,2019 11:00 pm

[Ana]

I laid in the trunk of the car, recalling overhearing Maeve tell Aspen they’re leaving at 11pm in the little Chevy Impala.

It was a crazy thing to do, but I'm finally going to see what they've been doing.

I laid tucked away as they got into the car and began the drive to wherever they were heading.

The car turns onto gravel before we roll to a stop. Satisfaction makes me grin like a cat, and a smugness made me giddy.

Ooooh, no. They weren’t expecting this.

I listen as they quickly get out of the car, flinching into the floor when I heard a sudden crack of sound.

Undeterred, I pulled the emergency release lever in the back of the trunk, crawling out of the car and across the yard.

My grin fell when I got to the porch. They must have stormed the house. The door was hanging off it's hinges. Splintered strips of wood hung crooked along with the light fixture that hung above the door.

I wondered deeper into the house.

The stereo was untouched. You belong to me by patience and prudence plays on repeat.

However, the rest of the house was total chaos. A total of 6 adversaries stood, all fully busy trying to fight off Aspen, Shay, and Maeve.

3 were already dead on the floor.

Blood sprayed through the air accompanied by a scream that rose every hair on my body. I froze as my eyes found the source of both chilling things.

Shay had a huge butcher's knife in one hand and a dude pinned to the counter with the other. The dude was withering in the vampire's grasp, blood gushing out of the stub that is now his arm.

“Ana?!” Aspen’s suddenly beside me. “What the fuck are you doing here?!”

She’s dotted with blood, but her face was a stricken mask of concern and surprise.

“I hid in the trunk.” The words felt dumb coming out of my mouth.

Maeve and Shay didn’t stop at my entrance like Aspen did. They still fought, killed.

“Let’s go outside,” she says.

But we get cut off. Shays there, fighting with someone while looking unconcerned as ever.

I yelp, skittering into the kitchen.

Aspen follows me, only pausing in front of the fridge, Her head cocked as she considers something. "Do you need some water?"

I don't answer her. I literally cannot believe what I'm seeing.

Aspen shrugs, closing the fridge and moving to lean against the kitchen's sliding door. No one pays attention. No one moves to attack her. I follow, not wanting to get in the way of anyone here.

A sudden pop of sound whips my head around.

Maeve is on the defense, taking on a woman with a cruel looking whip. It cracked again and I heard Maeve swear when it tore flesh.

A few feet away a boy my age is screaming as he runs towards Shay with an ax. He swipes through thin air. The vampire gone in a matter of milliseconds.

My stomach churns as I see the boy's head fly across the room. It hits the wall and lands close to where the severed arm rests.

"Jesus Christ." I try to keep my stomach down as I stand with Aspen.

My body is stiff as a board. My arms wrapped around myself for some kind of comfort. I can’t look away.

My grasp on reality tilts, my mind disassociating from the horrors before me. The song makes it worse. I can almost trick myself into thinking it's all a scene from a movie.

The vampire doesn't stop for a second. No one is able to touch him. He backs up Maeve, throwing a shard of glass at the lady with the whip. It sliced through the side of her throat.

Her eyes flash as blood starts to pour. The whip drops to the floor when her hands go to the wound. They press against the sliced flesh in vain, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

I look away when Shay grabs her. His bared fangs were enough of a warning for what's to come.

Movement erupts to my right causing me to flinch back closer to Aspen. My eyes close for a heartbeat as fear consumes me. Another pathetic yelp tears away from my throat.

Aspen, however, was fearless. She materializes a knife, meeting our attacker head on.

Their fight is drawn away from me. I press against the glass door, helpless to watch my girlfriend fight a man 3x her size.

I flinch at the screech of metal against metal. Aspen takes a hard blow to the side of her jaw. Her retaliation was swift and bloodily. The man stumbled back, pausing to watch blood start to wet his clothes.

He thunders towards Aspen again, but she might as well have been death itself. Her movements were so sudden when she strikes.

My eyes barely follow as she slits the man's throat while dodging his tackle. The man halts, confusion and shock opening his eyes.

Bile rises in my throat as his life force splatters onto my shoes.

Aspen is back in my vision again, rising behind the dazed man. My eyes find hers and I shiver at what I see.

A darkness that's clear as day and cold as ice peers back at me.

She stabs the man through his temple. The man's final sound was like a gunshot through me. The hard thud of his body the echo. More blood splattered my legs and shoes.

Aspen bends down and retrieves her blade, wiping it clean on the cheap table cloth.

The nonchalance in her movements furthers my spiral out of reality.

Killers. All of them.

My head shook and my vision tunneled. I stare at the wall, forcing myself to keep breathing.

Aspen resumes standing beside me, leaning against the door.

Her skin's stained with blood this time though. I don't know where the knife is hid.

Her eyes flash in the back of my mind. They were something I haven't seen before. This Aspen was darker than anything I ever knew.

Silence.

I looked over into the living room. Aspen was standing before the stereo, cutting off that creepy ass song.

I blink, not recalling her moving from my side.

They all stood there, taking in their destruction. Slowly their gazes made it over to me.

I froze, unsure of what to say. Death hung around us. Blood, limbs, and bodies, all testaments of the viciousness of just two girls and a vampire.

The bile is back and this time I don't fight it. Stumbling over the body of Aspen's kill, I puke over the corner of the kitchen's island.

I realize why they didn't want me knowing now. This was something they understood mutually. The violence and the murder. They weren't strangers to it, but I was.

The sound of footsteps echo in the silence, disrupting my thoughts. A man stands, a gun in his hands and pointed level with my chest.

I freeze, fear jumping into my throat once again.

Aspen is the one to react. With a flick of her wrist, the man is bent sideways with pain. I see a flash of the anguish that crosses his face, hear his piercing scream before he hits the ground dead. The gun forgotten beside him.

I stare down at the body. He dropped dead in a moment just because Aspen flicked her fingers?

I stood surrounded by kills made by the people I called friends. It seemed so easy for them too. Effortless.

This was what Aspen was trying to protect me from. This was what Aspen was trying to hide.

Conflicting emotions make me gag again.

Killers. They just slaughtered everyone here.

I should have listened to them. I shouldn't have snuck out. They were right. I didn't want to see this side of them.

Aspen warned me. She told me, but I wouldn't listen.

“I can't rest knowing I don't know a side of you.”My words haunt me.

Who would want to see this side of them? Who would want to know the merciless destruction they could lay onto a person?

I was stupid.

I met Aspen's eyes. Her whole face was guarded as if she knew what I must be thinking right now.

I pick my way through the house and leave through the busted door. No one follows.

I'm disappointed and glad all at the same time. The fresh night air was exactly what I needed. It eased something in me that was threatening to break. I perched on the hood of the car, tilting my head back to lose myself in the night sky.

Shay was the first one to come out, Maeve a few steps behind him. Both joined me in silence.

Maeve opened the passenger side door but didn't get in. Neither spoke a word.

"Are we not leaving?" My voice sounds far away in my head.

"We've got to clean up." Maeve answers.

I don't get to ask what she means. Aspen stands on the porch. I watch as her hands raise. A flicker of light can be scene through the window.

Fire.

Aspen keeps her position at the front door, her hands raising steady higher. The flames consume everything inside, climbing higher and burning hotter every second Aspen pours her magic into it.

This is what they meant by clean up.

They're covering their tracks from the human police.

The stench of burning flesh reaches us. I resist the urge to hack, covering my nose and mouth with both my shirt and my hand.

Once the fire reaches the roof, Aspen makes a gesture and steps away, jumping down the steps and pacing towards us.

"If that doesn't burn the bodies then even hell itself can't." She opens the door to the backseat, "Let's go."

We all obey, eager to get away.

Shay spins us out of the yard and down the pig trail they call a drive.

It's quiet between us all. I'm pressed against the door, unable to shake the uncomfortable feeling in my gut.

I keep stealing glances at all of them.

Shay butchering that man flashes before turning into Aspen. The darkness reflected in Aspen's gaze matched Shays own twisted glee.

Maeve was still nursing the few wounds she got.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. Nothing too bad." She grits out, pressing McDonald's napkins to her arm.

"I could heal it for you," Shay offered.

"You know I'll pass."

He shrugs at the wheel.

Shay hits a rough pothole, jolting Maeve entirely. "You know Aspen. You really could have helped us out more," Maeve snaps.

Aspen's chuckle only lightly sounded humorous. "I figured I'd let you and your boyfriend bond."

"Whatever." She hisses, but I get the hunch that she's holding back a few things.

The ride back was silent. Shay sped down the highway. It was 3:40 am. Despite everything, the rocking of the car threatened to lull me to sleep.

I couldn't fight it. Hell I didn't even want to. Leaning against the window, I let my eyes close.

Hiii! I love your writing, and I was wondering if you could do a follow up to 'Then we talk' like Isak and Even discussing how to be better at communicating with each other if something the other does doesn't sit well with them, and also discussing why Isak never just yells and fights back in a loud way and why he hates it when Even yells, and like discussing Isak's childhood. I mean I get it if you can't but it'd be awesome to read that. I hope you have a great day!! x

Hi! Thanks. x

This is going to go into some headcanons that I have, which are always included in all the fics I’ve written, evident or not. This is also going to take away some of the free interpretation. If you don’t want that, please don’t read this answer.

Let’s start with Isak.

As I’ve mentioned, time and time again, I relate to him. Watching S3 was cathartic for me–and I’m 21 years old.

The thing is, I started to watch S3 up to the ~latest episode~ and then I watched S1, whilst keeping up with the updates on S3. That’s why it still burns an unsatisfied fire inside of me that Isak is coded to have a little sister that we know nothing about. (It says Terje, Marianne, Isak og Lea on the family house sign, shown when Eva is there to confront Isak. There’s a link to an image of this in one of my fics, iirc.)

So what I imagine is:

Isak grows up with a mother who is psychotic from time to time. I imagine her shouting about God, Jesus and how the Devil will come and take them all away from her. I imagine Terje trying to calm her down, but she won’t listen. I imagine Lea starting to cry because of this utter chaos. I imagine Isak never being able to react to this; he takes care of Lea and takes the role as a big brother.

Why?

Because this is me, in essence. I didn’t grow up with a mother who has psychotic episodes. I grew up with a mother whose stress levels were easily stepped on, to which she reacted. I grew up with a mother who exploded on no one particular in the family, but the family as whole, for something stupid as her running Pinball game on the computer was closed. I remember shouting, nothing at me, but upstairs, and how my mother threatened to divorce my dad, for something he couldn’t possibly take blame for, because it would be absurd for him to apologise for something that the dsl modem broke down.

(I realise that my mother definitely has been verbally abusive towards us, if not manipulative. I also realise that during these moments, she were so stressed she could hardly think. Years later, I realise that she could barely work during this period because she was so stressed out. That does not excuse her behaviour, but it explains it. And I accept it, some wouldn’t. And that’s okay.)

So I have that headcanon, that Isak hates yelling and shouting, maybe loud noises in general, when it’s not prepared for. I imagine he can still go partying, which is usually in loud rooms, but that he doesn’t like it when people raise the voice around him or at him– because he will get the uneasy feeling he used to have as a child.

I also headcanon that he has rejection issues, because his dad left him alone with his mother, and most likely brought Lea with him (because Isak would not leave Lea alone with his mother and move into the Kollektiv). You might say it’s because of the crush he has for Jonas, but I also believe it plays a role in there too; when he keeps intruding on Eva’s and Jonas’ ~alone-time~.

I don’t think that Isak particularly knows that he is getting a panic attack. I don’t particularly think that he understands why until it passes. Much less do I think that he has shared this information with Even previously.

I do imagine, however, that this is something they discuss then, whenever then is. Later. When they finally talk.

I imagine it going something like this:

Even: I’m sorry I shouted. I was frustrated and felt like you didn’t listen to me.

Isak: I’m sorry I hurt you. I know I will never understand what it’s like [to be bipolar and be manic/depressed] but I need to know what you want me to do. The only experience I have is with my mum, and what she is, is not the same as what you are. Her needs aren’t the same as yours. You must understand where I’m coming from, too.

Even: I understand, and i’ve thought about it. I have these things that are Not OK and I need you to respect that at all times. Is that OK?

Isak: Alright, of course. Thank you.

Even: Why didn’t you shout back? You usually stand your ground. When we’re teasing, that is. Why did you ask me to stop?

Isak: I just don’t like when people yell or shout or are being loud. It’s because of [headcanon above].

Even: I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.

Isak: How could you know? I never told you that. Frankly, I didn’t really know up until now.

What we’re seeing is, the worst moment you could see. You’re seeing someone who isn’t portrayed as angry other than the biting line he gave Sonja (”Stop controlling me”), and you see him being very angry. Notice however how he never talks down on Isak. He simply thinks Isak doesn’t hear where he’s coming from, and he obviously doesn’t like to feel controlled– something I imagine he’s doing right now. Whatever Isak has said or done before this, hurt him.

Isak, however, is starting to panic, because Even is loud. So he tells him to stop. That’s from where we see it. He doesn’t particularly understand what’s going on with him, and he wants it to stop. His hands feel cold and are shaking. His heart is racing. He hears his boyfriend, and he thought he had done something good but he had upset his boyfriend instead. That is a painful feeling in its own.

There are a lot of unsaid emotions going on. The boys have history of their own. And you rarely decide to argue, do you? So it most likely came out of the blue, thus you respond, and get more upset with each response you get from the other. That’s not an ideal way to make the other understand what you mean and to let yourself understand your partner/friend/other.

That’s why I had Even suggesting a breather. Because he knows he can’t continue this right there and then– he’s too upset. And he obviously sees Isak being genuine if not quite hurt that Even would think [that?] of Isak. That Isak isn’t sorry that he hurt him etc.

And Isak agrees because he wants to calm down himself. He can’t keep talking when he’s hands are trembling and his heart racing. What he wants is a discussion at the dinner table, and calmly explain what he feels, what he thought, what he did. And Even listening to that, and explain what he feels, what he thought, what he did. And thus reach an agreement.

As I said; we’re seeing the worst moment in an argument, because it’s an angst prompt filler. It’s supposed to hurt, make you react, and have you thinking. We’re seeing, what? 1.5 minutes of their lives. If someone took 1.5 minutes of my life, at one of the worst moments, I must look scary. If someone took 1.5 minutes of my life, at a moment I start to feel triggered by something, I will look timid and pale. I don’t think it’s particularly fair to judge someone out of 1.5 minutes of their lives.

I do realise they are fictional characters, and I do realise that it was written harshly. Some things are blown out of porportion, exaggerated, because Isak is coded as having a panic attack. The way you see the world while having a panic attack is– different. Even the things you hear are different, in some situations. I’m not saying Even isn’t saying what Even wrote, though, but I want you to understand that from one point of view, it’s different from the other.

Now, before I end this, I will say this:

It is annoying and frustrating that people think they can fix me. I am unfixable. Even is unfixable. Isak’s mother is unfixable. Magnus’ mother is unfixable. My mother is unfixable. When people do small things, like telling me it’ll get better or, I don’t know, dodge the realness of it all, I get pissed. Because you can’t take that away from me and change it. You can’t rewrite my brain. You can’t expect those moments, when my anxiety reaches the peak, to go away.

One thing that I was incredibly bothered by with my first girlfriend was how she kept saying it’ll get better and it’s okay. It’s not getting better, even after like 8 years or something, and it’s not okay. I understand that it’s different from everyone.

Isak has a clumsy mouth, as seen how he casually says he doesn’t want mentally ill people in his life. We see Even back off and act on his own, and Isak not understanding what went wrong. I can definitely see Isak saying something rather tasteless, which sets Even off, because Isak didn’t thnk. Or that Isak has done something, like asked people to watch Even during a depressive episode, and Even being annoyed by that, thinking that Isak thinks this is going to stop happening.

As stated before and also in the series, Even does not want to be controlled. If he feels controlled, he might snap. He talks to Isak about it, and he bites Sonja off because of it. It’s not a far reach that Isak could accidentally make Even feel controlled, or a mental charity case or something.

But I imagine it’s a fixable mistake. They both need to learn and talk about it. They both need to learn setting boundaries.

However…

If I had written something like Even calling Isak and idiot and worthless and Isak taking that– sure, I can see how that would be awful and definitely abusive. Here I’m writing two young men, in the heat of a moment that I wanted people to interpret on their own.

1.5 minutes. I tried to act it out in my head watching the time. I think it might be around that time.

Thanks and take care

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You coming to Abi's party tonight? Buster: No Chloé: Why not! Gonna be such a laugh Buster: It's not really any of your business, is it, Chlo, but let's be honest even if I was in the country, we both know it wouldn't be a laugh Buster: Abi's probably fucked up already Buster: And that's only one of the reasons why it's a no Chloé: Ooh, someone's moody! Chloé: Unlucky you're out of town babes 😂 Chloé: Family time, is it? Yawn Buster: Fuck off, Chlo Buster: There are other things to do besides annoying my sister, you should try it Chloé: Not in her inbox, am I? Chloé: 😷 Chloé: As if you're doing anything worth talking about Buster: Neither am I so how in the hell would I know, like? Buster: Why do you care so much still what I'm doing? Buster: Sort it out, babe. The who ain't you, but there's plenty of lads in your postcode who would Chloé: Just inviting you to a bash don't get wild about it Chloé: Never see you out these days, not YOUR postcode anymore, no? Chloé: Fake girlfriend still, is it? 💔 Buster: And why do you reckon that is, babe? Buster: Fault's yours not mine. Stop inviting me out, yeah? I'm not here for it. Or you Buster: I'm not sorry I'm busy with my actual girlfriend Chloé: What have I done! Chloé: Nothing but nice to you, and your sister, for that matter Buster: If that's what you think I ain't got the time to change your mind Buster: Nor write you a list, like Chloé: 🙄 The theatrics! Chloé: So, what's she like then? Must be something if you're willing to leave here for it Buster: Draw your own conclusions Buster: I'm not talking about her to you Chloé: Cute 💘 Chloé: Though you don't need to talk that game to me Chloé: Might be able to convince a girl outside the postcode that you're #loyal babes but no need or way that'll wash with me 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: Maybe the reason I had to go out of the postcode was less to do with me and more about the type of girl there, you ever thought on that? Chloé: Omg Chloé: Admitting you can't handle us? Buster: You wish Buster: It wasn't a compliment, babe Chloé: Whatevs Chloé: You're looking good anyway Buster: Course I am Buster: Is there anything else I can actually do for you or what? 'Cause there's plenty my girlfriend can do for me if we're done here Chloé: If you wanna make me jealous Chloé: so many better ways to go about it Buster: Please Buster: Don't flatter yourself, honestly Chloé: Who's this??? Chloé: [Rio's post] Buster: Your subtlety is astounding Buster: Your sleuthing needs some work though, clearly Chloé: It's on my feed, I ain't ashamed Buster: Give it a double tap and move on, babe Chloé: Yeah, don't think she's your type Chloé: Maybe your sister's, she's always commenting hmm Buster: Like you know anything about mine or my sister's type of girl Chloé: Getting warmer, am I? Buster: In the sense you're getting more desperate, yeah Buster: If this turns you on that's an issue for you to worry about, not me Chloé: Please Chloé: it's fun isn't it Buster: No Buster: If I tell you who she is will you go away? Chloé: Sure! Buster: She's one of my many cousins, alright Chloé: Oh Chloé: That explains it Chloé: Disappointing but don't need to tell you that Buster: Off you go then Chloé: No Chloé: I thougt you were going to tell me who your girlfriend is Buster: Why the fuck would I do that? Chloé: Why would I care who your skanky cousin is? Buster: 'Cause you're obsessed with me apparently Buster: And don't call her that Chloé: Like you care babes Buster: I obviously do or else I wouldn't waste my breath telling you to shut up Chloé: You've said worse about all of 'em Chloé: Oh my Gosh Chloé: Just realised who she is Buster: I can whatever I want. Who the fuck are you? Buster: Congrats Chloé: She is, isn't she? Chloé: The one everyone's slept with Chloé: How shaming Buster: It'd sound more sincere if you hadn't slept with most of Chelsea, babe Buster: One rule for you, yeah? Chloé: I live here, I didn't fly in for the experience Chloé: Why was she even here? Buster: Maybe if you upped your own game the lads wouldn't need her to fly in Chloé: How can you talk about your own family like that you sicko Buster: 😂 Buster: You do have a moral code of some sort then? Buster: Take it up with your boy besties, they're the ones who like to chat about it Chloé: More than you do, clearly Chloé: Doesn't that just make you want to die? How mortifying Buster: It makes me wanna kill them Buster: Thanks for asking Chloé: As if you're any better 😂 Buster: I don't sleep with any girls they care about, do I? Chloé: Yeah right Chloé: Family man now, are you babes? Chloé: Take it up with her if you're so close now Buster: Whatever, Chlo Chloé: More touchy about this than you were with your own sister Chloé: Guess there was no risk of all your mates getting on her Buster: Exactly Buster: And you've missed your chance too so no worries there Chloé: You're so vile Buster: Like you'd be above fucking my sister? Okay babe Chloé: 🤢 Chloé: I'd sooner drink bleach Chloé: thank you Buster: I'm sure she would too Buster: Shame there was none in my glass that night at the party, like Chloé: Sorry to disappoint whatever incest kink you've got going on Chloé: but nah babes Buster: Why? You ain't been sorry about being a let down in any other way Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I was wasted and you're not giving a second chance Buster: If it was only how unfuckable you are, I'd let you off Chloé: You certainly managed Chloé: Trust me Buster: As I've only got your word on it, I have to Chloé: How else do you expect me to prove it? Chloé: DNA test? Buster: I don't care Buster: It happened and it ain't again. End of story Chloé: Whatever you say Buster: There ain't nothing else to say Buster: Unless you've got something you desperately wanna add? Chloé: Just talking to James Chloé: he reckons you're well weird about your cousin Buster: Says the lad who told me in graphic detail what fucking her was like? Okay Chloé: Didn't do it for you? Chloé: Poor boy 😂 Buster: But I'm the vile one, sure Chlo Chloé: Calm down, it's only bants Chloé: You're sooooo serious now Buster: Serious about how much I want you to fuck off out of my inbox Chloé: Can't handle it now or what? Chloé: There's a reason, I know Buster: I ain't never wanted to handle you, babe Chloé: Obvs not Chloé: not related to you am I Chloé: how country 😂 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Excuse me if you slagging off my family isn't a huge turn on for me, like Chloé: Why's it matter Chloé: Not gonna say it to their face am I Buster: You literally did say shit to my sister though Buster: Already forgotten or what? Chloé: No I never Chloé: Mads tagged her Chloé: then everyone else did Chloé: it wasn't me Buster: Back in the day in was all you though Chloé: She say that did she? Chloé: I was the only one who even tried to be her friend Chloé: not my fault she was in love with me Buster: Bullshit Buster: You ain't her type either, babe Buster: Get over yourself Chloé: Hmm not how I remember it Chloé: not like you were paying any attention so what would you know tbh Buster: I've heard it from her now Buster: Not just in Dublin seeing my girlfriend, as you've already worked out Chloé: Thrilled for you both, I'm sure Buster: Act like it then Buster: Leave me alone Buster: And it goes without saying, my sister as well Chloé: Well you see I can't Chloé: Hate to burst your bubble, of course Buster: Yeah you can Chloé: I really can't Chloé: As fun as this has been I have some news Buster: Go on then Buster: Sooner you've said it, sooner you can go Chloé: Ha Chloé: I'm pregnant Buster: What the fuck, Chlo? Even for you that's low Buster: Still going to Abi's party though, yeah? Buster: Bullshit Chloé: God, I can still have fun and A GLASS Chloé: beside the point Chloé: [pics of tests] Buster: Well yeah, you can do whatever you want until you prove it's my kid Chloé: How do you expect me to do that Chloé: and I know it's yours, thank you very much Buster: You might, but I don't Buster: And forgive me if I don't automatically take your word for it after all the shit you've said and done, like Chloé: Well if you weren't being so difficult Buster: Me? Buster: Fuck that Buster: Get a prenatal DNA and get back to me or wait until the kid is born, do it and get back to me Chloé: Wow Chloé: Class act Chloé: That's going to require a bit of cooperation, babes Buster: All you need is a blood sample or mouth swab Buster: I'll give you either Chloé: Done this before, have you? Chloé: Jesus Christ Chloé: it's a child, your child Buster: Not as far I know yet Buster: You having this convo with James and the rest of them too, are you? Chloé: Fuck off Chloé: No Chloé: and don't you dare tell ANYONE Buster: Like I want them knowing about it Buster: Whether it's my kid or not Buster: I've gotta tell my parents though so Chloé: You can tell them Chloé: Mine don't know yet Buster: You should tell them too Chloé: Will you tell them with me? Buster: Okay Chloé: Yay good Chloé: When are you back? Buster: I was gonna skip school but Buster: When were you planning on telling them? Chloé: I don't know, doesn't matter Buster: Of course it does Buster: You need to decide what you're gonna do Buster: They can help you Chloé: What? Chloé: I know what I'm doing Chloé: I've already been shopping with the girls Buster: I thought you didn't want anyone to know? Chloé: I don't want YOU telling people it could be anyone else's Chloé: when it couldn't, how rude Buster: So you've told your friends but not your parents? Buster: Come on, Chlo Buster: Have you even been to the doctors or anything? Chloé: Yeah they'll just fuss and wanna know things Chloé: how cringe Chloé: No point yet Chloé: I think Chloé: it's like 12 weeks scan, yeah? Buster: You can get DNA done at 9 weeks Buster: I've just looked it up Chloé: How long's it been? Buster: If you don't know that how are you so sure it's my kid? Chloé: I haven't slept with anyone else for ages Chloé: if you must know Buster: It is kind of worth knowing, yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Chloé: Don't be funny with me Chloé: I just know alright Buster: Don't tell me how to be Buster: I asked you after if you needed me to take you to the pill and you said no Chloé: Well I thought I was fine, obviously Buster: Well, now neither of us are, obviously Chloé: I'm good Chloé: Drama Chloé: It'll be nice, if you let it Buster: Nice? Buster: Grow up, Chlo Chloé: Well I'm not getting rid of it Chloé: you've done it now, deal with it Buster: Like I said, when you prove to me that it's my baby, I will Chloé: Fine, I will Chloé: you'll see Chloé: anyway, I'm going out, gotta get my nails done for tonight Buster: I'm glad you've got your priorities in order, babe Buster: Jesus Christ Chloé: What? Chloé: I can't do anything, I told you I've got loads of stuff for it Chloé: keeping it at Lindseys Buster: Don't go the party Buster: That's what you could do Chloé: I'm not going to sit at home on a saturday night Chloé: i'm not 40 Buster: Clearly. 40 year old's don't tend to get knocked up accidentally as a rule Chloé: Menopause'll do that to you babe Buster: That's not the point Buster: We need to talk about this you can't just ruin my life and then go do a toast with your friends Chloé: Me ruin yours? I didn't impregnate myself Buster: You're ruining your own by not thinking this through Chloé: I'm not a baby killer Chloé: sorry about it Buster: I don't even have words for how stupid that sounds Chloé: I can't believe you're trying to make me get an abortion Buster: I'm not trying to make you do anything except use your brain Buster: What about uni? Are you still gonna go or what? Buster: Are you gonna get your own place or stay with your mum and dad? Chloé: Wow, 20 questions! Buster: This isn't a game Buster: Fucking hell Chloé: I'm having a baby Chloé: that's my plan Buster: And then what? Chloé: Be a mum? Buster: You know how hard that's gonna be, yeah? Chloé: I think I'll manage babe Chloé: I'm not an idiot Buster: You're an idiot if you think it's easy Chloé: How hard can it be Buster: Very Buster: Babies can't do fuck all and kids aren't much better Chloé: Yeah, I know how to feed it and change it Chloé: Abi's got a baby sister she's so cute Buster: Good for her Buster: I bet she ain't doing the night feeds while her parents sleep, is she Chloé: Whatever Buster: Don't fucking whatever me, Chlo Chloé: Don't you talk to me like that Buster: I can't talk to you right now if you're gonna be like this Chloé: That's good because you're making me late Buster: Fine Buster: Bye then Chloé: 👋