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thewolfisapartofmysoul · 4 years

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Hey lovelies.

Got you a Dewey x reader fic.

Reader coming out as ace (asexual) while Dewey is playing the guitar and the reader lounging on his lap. Fluff and angst ahead. All aboard! Fair warning... its quite long...

Hope you enjoy. 💜

..................................................................................

Safe

You and Dewey had been friends since kindergarten. You were as thick as thieves. Being able too see your best friend everyday since you two were roommates only made things better.

Dewey was a incredibly bouncy, happy person. That much you guys had in common. You both were as enthausiastic as you were chaotic sometimes. And when you were having one of 'these' days... the ones when you just woke up grumpy, you could find comfort in the small things in each other. He would give you one single look and knew what kind of day it was. It was on these days that Dewey proved himself being the man, the myth and the legend you believed he was. He would make sure your favorite tea was ready in the morning, with just the right amount of honey in it. And he would do anything to crack your mood up during the day. Including some 'sick' dance moves on random moments, and playing requests you had on his guitar always calmed your mind. In return you knew that playing guitar hero cleared his clouded mind, and spontaneous dance parties always made him smile.

Long story short, you'd be there for each other.

.......

The thing was that lately you came to realise that some things were different for you then they were for him.

You always pictured yourself with a partner as loving and caring as Dewey was. You just KNEW he was your favorite person in the world. It was just... difficult. The whole situation had been difficult. There had to be a person in this universe who wanted to know what made you tick. Besides Dewey. Right?

That was a question your head had been occupied with the last couple of months.

Of course you noticed Dewey going out. On dates. With actual girls.

He wasnt the most popular guy you knew, but damn... he had some charm in that authentic and warm personality he had. He also was kinda cute, you had to admit. But you were 101% cool with him dating. Even helping him pick out outfits and scolding him for forgetting garlic on date-night is a no-go. And when he wouldnt come home at night you would smile to yourself, because you was happy for the dude.

So why werent you out there? Dating? Again? You tried. Hell... you tried so SO hard to actually like people.

Liking wasnt the right word. Cause liking people wasnt that difficult. You could love the personalities of people in a heartbeat. Loved the way they laughed, or the freckles on their face, or the way they sat. You'd loved the way they talked about what drove them, what they were passionate about. You loved so many people. Yet you loved no-one.

You came to realise lately that you were kind of different. For instance: Dewey could swoon over a girl he saw for one second. One moment he was chilling with u at your local bar, the next moment you saw that sparkle in his eyes... And with a wink, a pat on your shoulder and a VERY bad attempt to moonwalk away from you, you knew you didnt had to wait up for him.

That was fine. Never bothered you actually. It was a signal you guys had created. Dewey also knew that when u werent in the mood or okay with leaving alone, you would put on a pouty face. That would be his que to get the random-chick's number, promising to call her, before excusing himself to her and drop back on the barstool beside you.

You liked it that way. He was free to go. As were you. He was your buddy. Your parnter in crime. That was the way it was.

You were just frustrated with yourself the last couple of months.

You could look at a man or a woman and be like: jeez, you are pretty. Look at that adorable face!

You would walk up there, talk to them. Now... that wasnt the hard part. The hard part came after that.

When you talked to someone, wether it be a beautifull quirky women or a handsome kind lad... there always came that moment that they would give a 'certain' comment. Or a glance up and down. Or let their hands wander little bit... and the magic would be gone for you.

Totally gone. Your mind would just go: 'nope'. You would find their smile attractive. But when everyone else's knees would give up at their bedroom eyes they gave you, and them saying something like: "you look like i could eat ya, wanna get out of here?" you would just feel nothing. Besides of getting noxious at the idea of them looking at you that way...

.......

Dewey noticed you getting more silent as you internly struggled with this a while. After 'just' men, you started some online research and tried something new. There was a period u had labeled youself as bisexual. But the label just didn't fit right. You tried the word: 'lesbian' for a month or 3.

Dewey had again proven to be an actual legend, after you told him you might not be straight. He was so pumped for you, buzzing with excitement and acceptance when you told him. He bounced up and down on the couch and offered to go to gay-bars together. You even had to keep him from hanging the actual rainbow-flag out of the window, to support you. Dewey suspected you had just been a late bloomer, so he was more then excited when you seemed to make some steps into the date-world, and wanted to make sure he helped you out were he could.

But that wasnt it either. Being bisexual or lesbian was not what made you you as well.

You had been desperately looking for a label to fit you but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

........

Dewey would notice your online research by accident. He got up from his jamming session at the couch and ruffled a hand tiredly throw his brown locks. You was on a date. With... amy? Agnes? He couldnt quite remember. He chuckled, while opening your computer, hoping you'd been having fun.

He was looking on an article about ACDC he came across a while ago, when the google question popped up in the browser history. He frowed, but clicked anyway. "I dont feel sexual attraction towards people. What's wrong with me?"

A pang of guilt creeped through his chest. Did he totally miss all that? Y/n had fun with people in bars right? She was on a date right this moment... with... Anne, or whats her name again?

Dewey poundered, he would always see you laughing and having fun while chatting to strangers. 'God... you was so likeable it was super-easy for you to make new friends.' But after he put some more thought to it, he couldnt quite remember the last time y/n talked about having a crush. Or kissing someone. She didnt even talked about her date today enough for him to be able to remember her name. He felt a bit sad about it but Dewey had to find out what you were feeling, so he clicked through the rest of the history page.

.......

You actually tried to kiss Alma today, you'd been seeing her for a while... You two had a lot in common and you liked the way she practically buzzed with excitement when she talked about mountainbiking, smiling as she did so.

'it only seemed like the right thing to do' you forced yourself to think that... 'Alma deserved that much, right? She'd been so kind to me...'

After your date Alma reached out to softly grab you by your hip, pulling you towards her. 'Well... here goes nothing...' you thought as she brought her mouth closer to you.

But right when your lips were about to meet, it felt wrong. A panic rose in your chest and before you knew what happened you turned your head slightly and kissed her cheeck. You was infuriated with yourself. 'How could you! After date #3. Were you mad? What was wrong with you?!'

The girl in question seemed just as baffled as you. She smiled a sad smile to you, before giving you a side-hug and catching her train to go home.

You sighed, dropped your shoulders as you slumped home. 'Side-hugs are not good. They're not 'relationship-material', you fool." You wanted so bad to be 'normal...'

.......

By the time you was done walking home you reached a new low-piont in your self-esteem. Thats when you noticed u had a missed call. Dewey. You sighed. He had been SO happy for you to be dating. Enthausiastically helping you with your outfit and even what kind of perfume you should wear. You were not only a dissapiontment for yourself... but for Dewey as well.

You quickly wiped away a tear. Damn this. Damn this shit. Damn this day. You just didnt felt it. Again.

All you wanted to do was to jump into a hot shower, eat some pizza on the couch and lounge on the couch, revel in the safe comfort of Dewey.

You were not dissapionted by the smell of your favorite pizza already stalking towards you on the way to your front door. You smiled a bit at that.

Dewey had seen you crying through the window of your apartment and already planned to do something special for you, since you had such a hard time lately and he had been too oblivious too see it. So he decided to make you your favorite pizza, and just be there for you when your date didnt worked out.

You opened the door and was greeted by a dancing Dewey in his boxershorts and old band t-shirt. He was smiling at you while hopping of the cough while The Pretender of the Foo Fighters blasted through your appartement. He headbanged towards the speakers and you managed to get out a small snort. Your neighbours had to hate you guys.

Wiping your nose you tried to smile at him. But failed miserably. You stood in the middle of the living room feeling small and stupid. Your lip was quivering and you wanted to wipe the tear away that was spilling down your cheeck.

All in that moment Dewey was by your side, wiping away the tear that you inteded to brush away yourself.

You smiled sadly at him, through your tears and sobs. And you heard him mumble your name while pulling you into his arms. "Its okay love. You're okay. Im so proud of you." He started petting your head softly with his calloused fingers and holding you close. He knew this was a big step for you, and didnt asked any questions about your breakdown. Or date. He wanted you to tell him when you were ready. Untill then there were no words needed.

You got out of his loving embrace when you heard something beeping in the distance. "Dew! The pizza!" You smacked his arm and while muttering a "fuck" under his breath, he took a dive towards the oven.

He smiled a lopsided smile to you while striking a ridiculous pose, using the towel in his hands as a cape. He sing song: "i am the pizza heroooooo and i present you your favorite pizza, mylady...." You couldnt help but cackle at that. "Your a weirdo Dew... but thanx pizza-king."

.......

You two ate on the couch after you took a shower and dressed in your favorite sweats.

After Dewey had put away the dishes he dropped on the couch with you and grabbed his guitar. You went to lie with your head on his lap while he was tuning the strings. You listened to him fumbling with some wires and relaxed at the familiar sound and the rise of his chest above you. He played some chords untill there was a rythem in them and you felt your clouded mind become clearer.

You were relaxing against him when you heard him mumble your name... "hey y/n, wanna hear anything particular?" You shaked your head no.

He hummed in response, playing the tune of your favorite song anyway.

Dewey softly started singing:

"And i don't want the world to see me.

Cause i don't think that they'll understand.

When everything is made to be broken.

I just want you to know who i am...."

You felt the tears behind your eyes prickling. With a soft poke in his chest you whispered with all the courage you had left: "...Dew... Dewey..."

"Hmmm...sweetheart, whats up?" He replied softly.

You sighed, rubbing your hand against your forehead, gathering some more courage. You muttered: "I ehm.... I think I need to tell you something Dew..."

He went to put his guitar away. Shifting slightly so you was lying with your head on his lap, and he could look you right in the eye from how he was sitting. He grabbed your hand ,that out of stress had been clutching your own sweater, and placed his hand around yours. Squeezing lightly in encouragement. He smiled at you. It was an understanding smile, full of love and patience. You could cry at that alone. But swallowed your tears away, there had been anough crying today you decided.

Dewey saw you swallow hard and brought your clutched hands to his mouth and kissed them. "You can tell me anyting babe. You know that right?" You hummed in response.

Knowing you could trust him but also feeling incredibly scared and anxious... you stuttered: "Dew... i think... there is a reason i dont... i think i might be..." he squeezed your hand one more time.

You took that as an encouragement and mumbled the words that were nagging you for the past few months, your nerves barely made your voice louder then a whisper: "I think... ehm... I might be asexual Dewey..."

You felt like you could throw up. Or cry. Or both. You actually were about to bolt and do just that, untill you heard a familiar voice bringing u back to the present moment.

"... y/n... love... youknow..."

You coulndnt even hear full scentences of what Dewey was saying. His voice fading away, your nerves making it hard to fucus. He noticed your absence and your shallowing breathing, your breaths becoming faster and shorter with each one you took in. You couldnt even look at him while saying that. You were a pathetic coward... and now he would finally see you for the freak and the outcast you were. He would be disgusted and think you were a robot and leave you... You took another shaking breath...

A feeling brought you out of your shallow breathing. You noticed familliar calloused fingers glide through your hair. Combing through it and massaging your scalp softly. A smile appeared on your face, his movement was slowly getting the darkness outof your head. Finally you dared to look up towards Dewey. He was softly humming to you. His voice always calmed you, definetly right in this moment. His humming grounded you, while he was softly playing with your hair. You felt his other thumb circle softly on your hand he was still holding.

He smiled a soft smile at you, whisperening: "Hey... your back with me princess?" You nodded slowly. Tears spilling on your cheeks once again. "y/n, sweetheart, i love you the way you are. Always did, and always will. You are you. And if that is being asexual, then that's totally okay and i will be here for you. Every step of the way. Im so proud of you..."

He wiped away your tears, and while you choked out a "thank you Dewey", he kissed you on your forehead.

"Im so proud of you coming to terms with yourself. You dont have to do anything you dont want, okay? Dont ever feel obligated to date anyone just to feel 'normal'. You are you, y/n. And you are enough."

You smiled at that and yawned. The emotions of today suddenly making you very tired. "Dew..." you mumbled sleepy.

"Yeah...?"

"You may do the head-massage more often... it feels nice"

He chuckled at that, pinching your nose playfully. "Thats a deal... now off to bed with you, miss platonic."

You chuckled sleepily. Admire-ing his bad jokes even at this time and moment.

"Thanx Dewey..."

"Anytime babe..." he awnsered.

You stood up, your head and body suddenly heavy with sleep. Your mind drifted for a moment, but came back to the presence of Dewey sofly poking your side. You giggled, he knew you were ticklish there, and you swatted his hand away when he tried to do it a second time. He chuckled at that, glad he made you laugh again.

You looked at the floor. Anxiety bubbling in your chest at the nagging question in your head. Could you ask him this? After all that just happened? Would he still take you serious if you did? It wasn't sexual but still as intimate as you could be, and you didn't want to seem like you weren't serious. Since... well... people... sometimes mistook cuddles for sex. You still felt anxcious and conflicted, but didn't want to sleep alone. You took a big breath, looking a bit tired and sleepy up at him. Heart thumping nervously in your chest as your hands started to sweat. You glanced at his face and when you saw a half smile creeping up his face you knew you could ask him anything.

"Dew.... would you..." you had to stop because a yawn was bugging you. You continued after wiping your face sleepily, still anxious: "would you mind sleeping with me tonight? I... just... really dont wanna be alone right now. I need some cuddles." You confessed, biting your lip as you waited for his response. Anxiety slowly spreading in your chest as you waited at his awnser.

Instead of awnsering with words Dewey got up from the couch and pulled you into a big hug, once again petting your hair while holding you tight. You sighed and felt the tension leaving your body as he held you. "Of course..." he mumbled sofly in the crook of your neck. You took a big breath through your nose, nerves calming as you were surrounded by the familiar smell of Dewey. A familiar smell of tea-tree-oil, a bit of sweat and a hint of pizza from your dinner. His body was warm and his stubble tickled your neck as he held you close. You felt safe in his arms, and less troubled. Your mind cleared with every breath you felt him take in as the two stood there together. His hands seemed to wipe every anxious, stressed thought you had away. His calloused fingers still combing trough your hair affectionately. You sighed back at him, relaxed by his caring touch: "Thanx Dew...."

......

When you lay in your bed, later that night you fell asleep quite quickly. You knew you wouldnt be alone. Dewey snored a little in his sleep, and you couldnt help but smile. Feeling safe in his strong arms as he hugged you in his sleep, you felt his calm breath on your neck. The last thing you thought before drifting off was: 'Its gonna be fine. Im gonna be okay. Dewey is with me. Whatever i happen to like or not like, feel or not feel...

Dewey is here. Right by my side.'

Tagging: @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @hoodoo12 @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @thats-specific @vicunaburger @ironmansuucks @bugdrinkss @go-commander-kim @stranger-strings

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krlworld · 5 years

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donghyuck loved her more than he ever loved anyone else before. she made him feel at ease, how her beautiful eyes would look at him and asure him everything was alright. he met her through his friends, she was renjuns cousin. he didnt thought of her that way immediately but he couldnt deny she was gorgeous. eventually one night when the whole group of teenagers decided to cancel their movie night without warning the two of them he got to know her better. she told him about her childhood, her family, where she grew up, she had two siblings, one older brother and one younger sister and the way she complained about doing house chores because her sister was too lazy to help and how she loved her dog to death moved donghyucks heart. that night in december when they stayed home on the couch telling each other what others dont know, feelings were found.

love (lŭv) n. 1. A strong feeling of affection and concern toward another person, as that arising from kinship or close friendship.

eventually donghyuck started feeling awkward about her, not in a bad way actually, but his heart would start to beat faster whenever she was around, when she gave him compliments his cheeks would go red. he loved holding her hand and when she fell asleep on his chest. he loved her laugh even though she said she sounded horrendous. he loved how funny she was, how she didnt mind a joke and fought him back. he loved her wild side, when she made flirty jokes that made him flustered and then she would just laugh and knocked it off. in conclusion he loved everything about her, he loved her.

am i in love?

It took him some time to notice the strong feelings he had for her but hey, he got there. now it wasnt the beating of his heart that was making him wonder, it was the fact that he had so many feelings for her but he didnt know how she felt. he grew curious, asking himself “does she ever think about me?” “does she miss me like i miss her?” “how would her lips feel against mine…” at that point it was obvious for everyone, except you, how donghyuck felt, he wondered how you could be so dense.

"falling in love" means to feel a strong sense of attraction towards another person.

everything was so new to him, he never actually liked anyone except for a cute little girl he once met in kindergarden but apart from that he never felt that strong feeling of almost losing his breath he got whenever he was with you. he started to fear being around you, everything you did made him fall for you even deeper. his friends had told him to confess, “what could go wrong?” they said, but he knows damn well what could go wrong. he couldnt bare thinking about her not wanting to see him anymore because he made her uncomfortable, not having her around, just thinking about it made him feel sick in the stomach, almost feeling like throwing up. he decided to keep you close even if that hurted him.

unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved.

one night she called him and asked if he wanted to spend the night. in other scenarios people would think this was weird, but in reality they were more close than they appeared out to be, it wasnt unusual for donghyuck to stay at her place when some random guy who turned out to be a bad blind date made her feel like shit, him having to hold her, wipe her tears and tell her the usual “maybe what you really need is closer than you think…” leading her to think that “something” meant jaemin or chenle, he couldnt help but smack his forehead because of how stupid the situation was… but there was also the case where she would just feel like being with her favorite person, playing video games, eating some pizza and telling each other everything that happened that week, she looked at him with such loving eyes making him wonder if she could ever feel something for him, she made him have some hope but he didnt want to make himself feel better because thats exactly what he wanted to hear.

that night he spent at her house it was a little different, her parents were out of town with her sister and her brother had left for college, it was just the two of them. in the beginning it was all very normal, the usual stuff, movies, food and laughing about whatever came to mind but as the night went on the atmosphere felt… heavy. he couldnt tell what was making him feel so nervous or maybe he did, maybe he didnt want to accept the fact that she was closer than usual, that her hands were on his thighs and how she looked at him with rosy cheeks.

she couldnt stop thinking about him, her precious best friend. how she wanted to be more than that, wondering if he wanted to touch her as much as she did, if he ever though about her, if he wanted to make her happy like she wanted to make him feel. she was very good at hiding her feelings because no one had a clue about her affection for the boy, not even jeno who was able to read every single one of his friends.

you remembered… it was on march, movie night at marks house, you felt closer than ever to donghyuck you couldnt help but cuddle onto him the whole night, thinking about how he made your heart go wild when he was just wearing a simple grey shirt and skinny jeans, literally anyone could say he looked boring and he did, but to you he looked breathtaking. he had black hair at that time, you thought that was the best hair color he ever had it fitted him so well, you wanted to stare at him forever.

that night you left marks house feeling dizzy, you couldnt even describe how you felt, did you like donghyuck? taking your keys out trying to open your front door you stopped yourself when you heard someones heavy breathing. you turned around just to find donghyuck behind you holding your coat.

“hyuck? what are you doing here? i thought you said you were sleeping at marks today?” you asked surprised to see him in front of you, you kind of had an idea of why he was there but you also didnt want to make yourself believe he left marks house walking just to give you a damn coat.

“you left your coat… and i thought you would be cold, but i didnt manage to catch you as you can tell” he said finally catching his breath and fixing his shirt. he then handed the coat to you.

“why would you that? mark lives far from here hyuck, something could have happened to you” you said out of concern, because actually mark did live far away from you, almost a 30 minute walk to be clear.

“maybe i just wanted to see you a little bit longer…” he couldnt help but blush, he really did mean what he said but he felt so embarrassed like he was a child trying to tell his mom he did what he wasnt supposed to.

you wanted to tell him to stay, to make you hot chocolate like he usually does, to play with your hair like he does when feel sleepy, the words didnt come out, but actions did. you grabbed your coat quietly thanking him and giving a quick kiss on the cheek you couldnt tell what was funnier, the way you wanted to throw yourself out of the window or hyuck getting completely flustered and leaving like he saw a ghost.

i think i love you.

you were convinced donghyuck wouldnt like you back so you decided to try something to forget him, and that was seeing other guys, simple right? but the plan didnt go so well, for some kind of reason, only assholes seemed to be attracted you and that would end up with donghyuck holding you while you just cried. and maybe he thought it was because of your bad dating experiences but it was actually because the boy you wanted to forget so bad was the one who never left you.

so eventually you decided to get some courage and make the first move, and tonight seemed like a nice moment to do so.

leaving your thoughts for a second you analyze the situation, you are resting your head against his chest, your hands on his thighs while his hand is rubbing your back up and down making you feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest. you look up at him admiring his features, he is so beautiful, his now brownish hair, his dark skin that you loved so much everything about him was so mesmerizing. he then looked into your eyes and you couldnt help but blush a little, you had to tell him, still looking at each other you cleared your throat.

“hey hyuck”

“hm”

“have you… have you ever thought about us?” you felt like you were going to explode, your face burning hot, trembling as each word leaves your mouth.

“y-you, what do you mean?” he swallowed hard and his eyes were all over the place except for you.

“you know as like, a thing” playing with your fingers, you started to get nervous, feeling like he was just about to reject you and thinking this was a bad idea.

“yes” he simply replied. you looked up to him and couldnt hide the bright smile on your face, finally taking his hand in yours and getting even closer. “wow, whats wrong, are you okay?” he said as he looked at you and then your hand you never noticed how much you were shaking but you just couldnt believe it.

“i-im sorry.. i just, i,“ you sighed “i just really, really like you. like a lot” and then everything went silent, you were so scared, still shaking you looked up to find his face inches away from yours.

“i adore you, you know that right?”

and then he just kissed you, after so many nights thinking about this moment it was finally happening. he grabbed your cheek with one hand while the other held your waist because he knew how much you loved that. your hands went to his hair just touching, finally being able to feel him. you couldnt help but feel like crying you loved him so much it was indescribable. then he started kissing your cheeks, your jaw, your neck and after that you werent even aware of your surrondings, drowning in his scent and his touch. it wasnt until he slightly squeezed your waist that you jumped a little and looked at him.

“so, does this finally make you mine” he whispered, now holding you even closer than before, if that was possible.

“maybe, who knows” you laughed a little smiling against his lips, you could say you were the happiest person alive.

he was finally yours.

#nct #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct dream #haechan #haechan scenarios #lee donghyuck #lee donghyuck scenarios #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #haechan fluff #haechan imagines #haechan hours #haechan soft hours #im sorry haechan is my love and i he makes me happy #i love him #haechan drabbles #donghyuck scenarios #nct x reader

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 6 years

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I never gave up on you, even when the world acted like it did.

So Im going to preface this with the fact this is about Damian Wayne and an Oc of mine that I ship with him that really only my girlfriend is going to fully understand. This is a DC oc that I haven posted anything about yet, only shared it with my girlfriend as I add to her and refine her. But I was greatly inspired by a fic written by @my-one-love-is-music about Tim faking his death. It gave me so many emotions and is the whole inspiration behind this piece of writing and I just had the urge to post it. Its a bit rough because its not beta’d or proofread by anyone(even me) because I’m publishing it right after finishing it but I hope you guys will like it anyway!

My girlfriend is going to kill me for this...

I never gave up on you, even when the world acted like it did.

It wasn’t true. It COULDN’T be true.

Damian refused to accept or believe G...She was just...de--gone.

No no she wasn’t gone. It didnt feel right. It wasnt right. She...she was too strong to just be taken down like that.

Damian refused. He wouldnt accept she was gone.

That was the first week, the start of the first month of her “death”. While the team and the world grieved he vocally and aggressively denied it. His attitude concerned most, but no one approached him at first.

“ Everyone grieves differently...just leave him be for now you guys. He just needs time...” Grayson was the one who rationalized his denial, his tone low and almost dead. The voice of a man whose gone through a loved one’s death before...no...the voice of the boy who went through THIS particular loved one’s death before.

The concerns for Damian’s well being and mental health arose stronger after the first month of denial, when the obsessive behavior began.

She wasnt dead. She was alive, she HAD to be, she WAS alive.

Thats what Damian told himself, everyday as he obsessively searched for her. Every hint, every even slightest trace was poured over over and over and over for days on end. Something was off, he knew it he knew it goddammit! Everything about it was off and wrong. She was too strong, the death was too sudden, they weren’t allowed to see the body...

He scoured over every single little detail of the mission, the time it happened, everything. He watched video surveillance frame by frame, second by second until his eyes stung and his vision was as blurry as some of the footage. He knew she was alive, he didnt care what everyone else said. They were wrong...

They had to be wrong.

His behavior, his refusal of her absence began starting arguments between Grayson and Kori. Damian acted out worse during missions, he refused to listen, and if he wasnt forced to go on missions or patrols he was locked away in his room searching and hunting for hints, clues, little trails she’d have left for him. But he knew of the arguments, arguments he heard when they thought he wasn’t there.

“ Dick, his behavior isn’t healthy at all! He isnt listening at all anymore. He’s hurting himself with this obsession. Nothing I say makes a difference to him but he sees you as a brother, you have to do something, he’s spiraling into a dark state of mind thats not letting him move on!”

“Kori...”

“Dick you need to do something. This isn’t healthy it isn’t normal--”

“ Kori I understand you’re worried. I’m worried about him too. But...I also understand what he’s going through...when...back when I first lost Gr--lost Her all those years ago...I was exactly like Damian is now. I didnt want to accept it, I refused to accept she was dead, even when she died in my arms Kori. I know that his obsession isnt healthy or even really helpful for him but I understand it. He’s in pain and distressed and angry and this unhealthy denial is natural. He just needs more time, some more supervised space, and understanding...”

Damian walked away from that room before they noticed him, a small bubble of gratefulness in his chest at Grayson’s defense. But he was still angry.

She wasnt dead. How could even Grayson give up on her so easily?!

He knew they thought he was going crazy by the middle of the second month, that he was seeing things that werent even there. At a person who wasnt there.

The denial and obsession got worse. And with it so worsened his temper.

They stopped speaking her name around him when he almost took off Beast Boy’s head with his sword for mentioning her name in a past tense. He forgot to eat a couple days at a time, he now outright refused to go on missions. He didnt understand. How could they go on these other pointless, unrelated missions when she was out there, alive and possibly in need of help. He started losing more and more sleep, time not spent searching filled with restless hours of nightmares. Of her, calling his name, of her lost and alone in a strange unfamiliar place, of her captured and tormented.

Those ones he’d wake up in a cold sweat and spend the rest of the night searching, sometimes waking up screaming with bangings and pleads to be let in on his locked door.

Damian knew she was out there. She was leaving him a trail, he just had to figure it out and follow it.

By the third month he looked like a train wreck with feet. He was exhausted, empty, and shakily staying awake on blinks of sleep and caffeine. But now he was leaving, constantly leaving his room and the tower to chase after leads and clues to find her. All over the city, all over towns outside the city. He marked each dead end on a map he pinned up to his wall so he didnt follow a wrong lead twice. He was haunted by ghosts of her presence, her laugh, her comments. The only reason he’d remember to eat was imagining her voice in the back of his mind

Damian look at you! You’re not gonna be a good Robin if you dont eat jerk.

So he would eat and go back to his work. Even when his father broke his lock open and dragged him across country back to Gotham to get him away from the city it happened in.

“Shes not dead Father. I know she’s not. Why wont any of you believe me?!”

“ Damian....I know how much it hurts to lose someone...And I know you don’t want to believe it...but sometimes its better to accept reality and move on for them.” He caught the fist the young boy threw towards his stomach. He hadn’t properly trained in awhile, he was reckless and his reflexes had slowed since Kori had stopped him from locking himself in the training room without supervision, before he started finding leads.

“ Damian...”

“ She’s out there, She is still alive Father. I know she is. I dont care what you or Grayson or anyone else says. She is still alive and I will find her and bring her back, even if it ruins me.”

The middle of the third month was practically lived in the Batcave, using every new resource now available to him. He still went out and searched Gotham, searched towns and cities around it ruthlessly. Nothing really stopped him, from requests, orders, threats, even blocking and locking up exits after leaving for patrols. Damian still found his way out and continued following lead after lead. He felt as if he was slowly going crazy, seeing glimpses of her in crowds or on streets. But every time he’d catch them it either wasnt here or she was gone by the time he caught up.

But he didnt give up. He wouldnt give up on her like everyone else.

She never gave up on him, he refused to let her down by not doing the same.

Even as some nights doubts flooded his mind, clouding his resolve.

Shes out there...she has to be....right?

It was the fourth month. He was almost broken from exhaustion and on the verge of completely losing his mind when Grayson gently coaxed him from the Bat Cave to the Tower. He was so exhausted he didnt register the slight apologetic tilt to his worried frown, the almost guilty pleading light to his blue eyes.

When they got to the Tower and Damian set his foot on the pavement he almost pulled out his sword and attacked Grayson on the spot if he had more of a mind to. His anger flared then swept itself away in the wave of emotions that struck him seeing the female figure standing beside Red Hood, looking at him with the small smile he’d almost forgotten.

“ Damian...what the hell happened to you?”

Her voice, low, shocked, concerned and alive was what snapped him into motion, storming over to the two with an enraged look of death.

Her dark hair was longer now, starting to lightly brush her shoulders instead of her ends of her ears. She’d lost a little weight and she was dressed differently than she normally would. But those aqua green eyes were still the same he remembered, eyes dark with concern at his silence.

He kept storming for her, fists clenching so tight his hands began to sting and he looked like he was about to punch them both in the face.

“ Damian...? Shit Damian you look terrible what--” She never got to finish that sentence before Damian was holding her in a bone crushing hug that actually knocked some breath out of her. He held her as tight as he could, held her warm, real, living and breathing body in his grip and let himself relax for the first time since she left him.

She was there, she was ok, she was ALIVE.

He felt her arms slowly but surely wrap around him in response, one hand grasping onto the back of his shirt and the other slipping around his shoulders, her face pressing into his shoulder. Her scent flooded his senses, she smelled a little different, like soap and tacky strawberry shampoo but it was still her.

“ Gracie...Gracie I swear if you ever....EVER pull a stunt like that and fake your fucking death on me again I will kill you myself when i get my hands on you...Dont ever do that again...” His threat didnt bother her by the sound of her soft, apologetic laugh. Her grip around him tightened and his body loosened and uncoiled as if her presence her touch was carefully unwinding a tightly coiled spring. The world around him was a bit of a blur as she moved away to look up at him and press her hand, her warm living hand, to his cheek with a apologetic smile.

“ I wont do it again...I promise Damian...never faking my death again. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you...im sorry.” He shut his eyes and leaned into her hand, letting her voice, her touch, HER wash over him. She was here, in his arms, alive and breathing and talking and HERE.

“ I never gave up...” He felt her perk up at his words, even felt the almost puppy like confusion. He opened his eyes and gave a small vulnerable smile that he only showed few people and his pets. He moved his hands to cup her face before pulling her into another embrace, cradling her in his arms tight as if she would disappear the moment he let go of her.

“ I never gave up on you Gracie...Even when the rest of the world acted like it did....I never stopped looking for you, following the trails you left me.” She smiled, eyes getting wet and glassy.

“ You....Fuck Damian...I really dont deserve you...and I know you almost caught me a few times...” He chuckled softly and leaned his head forward pressing his forehead to hers.

“ Dont ever do that again or I’ll skin your hide.” She gave another soft laugh, the sound almost music to his ears after the past for months of hell.

“ Never again.” He smiled and leaned his face more, the relief physically showing on his body as he pulled her closer.

“ And thank you...for not giving up on me.”

End

And There it is! I know it might be kinda crappy but the inspiration hit and I wrote everything that came to my head! I hope you guys like it and if you have any questions about the Oc Gracie feel free to ask! I love babbling about her!

@phantommoonpeople @preciousthingsareprecious

Please reblog with the tags if you like it!

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