I know request says closed but I just wanted to tell you that we’ll finally be getting the Glorious Masquerade event this month. Any thought pookie? You excited?

I AM COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS til i can bully this man 💥🥊

What about ☝🏽 angry sex with soap (afab reader) you both just woke up in the wrong foot and are in a bad day, so after yall eat dinner theres finally peace when you’re both sitting in the couch watching tv but one of you just said something then started arguing again so he just makes you shut up by giving you ONE OF THOSE kisses, and he just fucks you for hours until ur ovestimulated and cant even say ur name at that point❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cw: no foreplay, rough/hate sex, fem!reader

ANGER MANAGEMENT | SOAP MACTAVISH

it'd be so common for you two to clash; two differing personalities, topped with a life-or-death work environment for johnny. days like that are a complete and utter mess.

sitting in silence on the couch, both of you with scowls on your face. "will you turn the tv up?" you spit out your words, not giving him the courtesy of making eye contact. it's only fair; he isn't either.

soap scoffs, "what was that? couldn't bloody hear ye over that attitude." a surge of irritation reappears when you hear his petty reply, and how it ripped open the fresh wounds of your argument that morning.

"jesus christ," you shake your head, climbing over his lap to reach the remote on his armrest. his fists clamp around your biceps, tight enough to make you struggle. you curse at him, words verbatim of the spat you had before.

with a jerk, you get jostled along the couch, until you're straddling him. despite using your entire body to climb off—you were still chest to chest—and his nails were starting to dig.

"johnny, stop being a fucking prick and—" he kisses you. violently. his tongue intrudes your mouth, effectively silencing your fury. soap lets go of your arms, but you remain in his lap, unable to resist the heated intimacy.

the jingle of his belt startles you, and you feels his fingers tugging and rustling between your legs. leaning back, you watch him shimmy his jeans down his thighs, then free his length.

apparently, wrath is his aphrodisiac of choice, because he's already rock-hard.

you don't know why or how, but his furrowed expression has you weak and unable to find excuses. before you know it, he tugs at your panties, pulling them down to get a view of your cunt.

he grips the base of his cock, lining it up with your entrance. without any warning, he grabs your hip with his other hand and pushes you downward. the stretch pinches, making you gasp in shock and dig your fingertips into his neck. "you're an asshole." you grit your teeth, only met with a harsh grip on your jaw.

"enough." johnny retorts, with the voice of a hardened sergeant and not your boyfriend. the hand on your hip pushes with more force until your pussy has swallowed his entire cock, your walls clenching with the same death grip you wish you could use on him right now.

but you can't. it's an indescribable feeling of relief after all the bickering, despite the sting of his aggressiveness. his hips start to buck upward instead of controlling your hips, yet it isn't any easier to move. acrimony bubbles in you, along with the pleasure starting to form. you hate yourself for enjoying this; letting sex become the solution.

your head sinks into the crook of his neck, unable to see past all his petty behavior. in an act of impulse, you bite into his neck — enough to make him hiss and cease his thrusts.

your axis tips, sent face first into the couch. "this what y' need? bein' fucked until you cannae see straight?" he sinks inside once more, giving no time to adjust, before he's pounding into you harder than before. one calloused hand raises your hips, while the other holds you by the back of your head, keeping your cheek pressed against the cushion.

"dirty fuckin' girl with no respect; we'll see about that, won't we?"

⋆꒷꒦‧₊˚ divider cred. - cafekitsune ˚₊‧꒦꒷⋆

It’s always ‘Alan is my pathetic poor little meow meow’ and “Alan is my sopping wet baby girl’ where were you 🫵🏼 when actual real life publications thirteen years ago were calling him an unlikable protagonist for being too snarky

If Megatron was on Earth in Optimus' team during the Galvatron debacle

Optimus: *rips off Galvatron's head*

Soundwave, Arcee, etc.: *gaping at Optimus committing this act of violence*

Megatron: *breathing heavily* "Oh no Optimus that's horrible you need to uh" *clears throat* "I mean you're not supposed to commit war crimes that's" *bites his lower lip* "I mean it's cool that you killed a fascist but you know, ethics and all" *pressing his legs together*

I just need Miguel O'Hara to fuck off for a little bit. Maybe do an Eat Pray Love in Mumbatten. Anything to give him some chill.

Maverick, trying to flirt: My dick is like life... Life is hard.

Iceman, blankly: Life is also short.

Maverick: Listen here, you annoyingly sexy son of a bitch-

Iceman, trying to contain his upset: You should know that my mother is an incredibly kind, respected, and well loved woman.

Maverick: I meant your father?

Iceman: ...

Iceman: Continue.

Tw: a wizard vents his worldly troubles

So I was visiting a village I stayed in for a few years before coming to wizard island and i saw this maiden sewing something right? I think it was a kilt or something, but basically her act of sewing together random unmatched parts inspired me.

I stroke a conversation on the philosophy of sewing, the usual jumbo and how she inspired me.

Fast forward a week later, I come back to her with my newest project: DIY necromancy I call it.

It consists of sewing together human parts like a build a bear, and for this occasion I had sewn the body parts of the maiden’s deceased relatives.

I thought it would be a nice gift yk? Be a good guy for once. Maybe she wanted to settle a debate she had with her dead aunt Morag…

But no

She had to go in an emotional outburst on how I’m a monster and a fiend who desecrates graves of innocent people, and how she never wants to see me again

AITA?

I love all your kyman hc's so much!!!!😭❤ I just need to hear more, so here are my questions: if kyman got married how would they act around each other? And do you think they'd adopt kids and if yes: what would they name them? And would they raise them jewish or christian or both?

Aaahhh I know there are too many questions I'm sorry 😭😭

Don’t apologize, I love talking about kyman :D

Regardless of context, the core of their dynamic is: Cartman is the instigator, Kyle reacts, a little back and forth, escalate the issue to Nth degrees of insanity, Kyle lands the final blow. Though sometimes, depending on the issue, Kyle lands the last punch thinking he’s won, only for Cartman to win the war last minute. Another way the show’s mixed things up, is that Kyle’s victory is undermined either by South Park itself, or Cartman. I see their marriage as an opportunity to expand their unique dynamic and introduce new plotlines/ jokes that couldn’t be done if they were still kids.

I see Cartman taking Randy’s place as the adult that’s always up to no good, the fixture of South Park’s weirdness. self serving hijinks flare up just about every week. Meanwhile, the Sharon (or straight man) to offset that cannot be anyone else but Kyle. This time however, unlike the marshes, and perhaps most couples in South Park, the Brofloski’s are truly in love. That’s kinda the joke. The couple that started out insulting each other and trying to kill each other on multiple occasions end up in the happiest relationship. I see them fitting nicely among the pantheon of sitcom couples— Mitchel and Cameron, Marge and Homer, Ralph and Alice, Gomez and Morticia. Their relationship, in Trey fashion, pays homage to and in the same breath, mocks those classic couples.

TLDR, Their dynamic is in tact, it’s just evolved to a new label. Instead of sort of friends-ish, they’re a couple. They’re still loud, obsessed with each other, fight over issues, hang out and share similar tastes. Only this time they got rings on their fingers. And if they don’t fistfight, how do they deal with their classic arguments? Well, like any sensible american couple, of course! they fuck each other’s brains out! ( just kidding. I have this vision of Cartman doing the most outrageous shit and Kyle chasing him offscreen in anger, Cartman shouting “domestic abuse domestic abuse!”)

I’m not sure what they’d name their kids. Does it matter? I do know what personalities I’d like them to have though— the 1st, their oldest, is outgoing, entitled, bossy, manipulative, a performative people pleaser, makes everyone’s problems their responsibility, and is quick witted. (A 2w3) Much like Eric, they are exceptionally charismatic and love being in the limelight. And like Kyle, they love getting involved in the lives of others, seen as helpful. The 2nd child is less outspoken, prefers to keep opinions to themselves, a dispassionate observer. ( poster child for 8w9) Like Eric, they’re materialistic, and prone to laziness. Still, they are an intellectual like Kyle, and far more principled in comparison to their sibling/Eric. They’re probably the most capable and dangerous in the family. They don’t shoot themselves in the foot like Cartman, and they don’t fight against the currents of South Park like Kyle. If they wanted to, they could take over the world and succeed where the Brofloskis failed. They just don’t care though lol.

I could never, ever see them as a two religion household. Yeah, Cartman has been portrayed as a bigoted Christian (or in his words, “[used] Christianity as an excuse to be a piece of shit”), but carrying that extremity to adulthood isn’t as funny. I don’t know how to articulate that other than, many extreme right wingers on twitter weren’t able to read Cartman’s bigotry in Cupid Ye as hyperbolic and instead took it as fact, and praised the stuff he whispered into Tolkien’s ears. His actions in Cissy were recently trending and was seen as heroic and like, justification why trans ppl can’t use whatever bathrooms they want. You can’t escalate the crazy stuff from real life anymore— it’s become reality. So the funniest thing to do, is either personify it as something else or, run in the opposite direction. If anything, PC has shown us that it’s funnier that the very same kid who once belittled Judaism in fact, became devoutly Jewish and proceeded to rub it in everyone’s faces rather than him ending up as some evil businessman. You rob bigots the chance to idolize Cartman, but give Cartman the freedom to hone his brand of idiocy on other things. So! Kyle slaps the antisemitism outta him, they get married, bam. They are a Jewish family.

You fucking stupid creepy men need to calm the fuck down with your stupid ass messages. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with half of you! I’d fucking LOVE for one of you stupid fucks to say some of the creepy disrespectful shit you type in front of @austinnyalpha to me or @crazy-courtney !!! 😂 After you regain consciousness and pick up your teeth you would have a lot less internet muscle huh? 🙄. Quick word of advice. LEAVE MY FUCKING GF ALONE! Last thing she needs is a bunch of creeps upsetting her!

Avytober 2022 Day 25. Pipe

(EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER)

Idk Caranthir is such a sexy character to me. Like we know literally nothing about him as a person besides being quick tempered and hostile towards arafinweans (specifically angrod). Does he even have a temper? Theres only like one textual example, and in the other political conversations with the haladin he seems well-spoken.

Does he hold grudges which are the reason for the temper towards arafinweans? Did he just decide they were beneath him?

Are his relations with dwarves because he finds them as a race interesting and respects them, or are his movies entirely self-serving and focused on the monetary aspects? Is he even interested in money and riches to a point thargelions vaults overflow or are they barely scraping by?

Has he seen any signs the easterlings could betray them and decided to ignore it bc they needed the manpower? Has he not seen anything while others have a la annatar-being-creepy-to-everyone-but- celebrimbor? Is he naive like that and disregarded the warnings he might have gotten if others had noticed? Were there no warning signs but he imagined some anyway only to discard them again?

Was he all-in for Doriath? Was he resigned and exhausted and thought he haf nothing else to lose so what was the harm? They're already kinslayers. Was he against it but once Maedhros tucked tail to Celegorm he went along?

He is like those colouring books where you get the outline of a barbie and you get to draw the clothes on and I love it.

ohhhh you wanna draw a cute mermaid with a sizeable chest sooo bad (it doesnt have to be horny im just trans and i want sizeable chest)

your wish is literally my command. couldn't decide between palettes so u get 2 <3

So I uh. I did go digging for evidence of Joseph Quinn’s performance as Prince Hal in Henry IV Part I at LAMBDA (THANK YOU FOR THIS HOT TIP @the-quiet-chaos I did in fact scroll back that far 🙈🙈🙈)

And I am frankly HOWWWWWWWWWLING

HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLING!!

how to make a character who sucks so bad and nobody likes him but he is genuinely a good protagonist (good as in interesting, maybe on a rare day good as in decent but also, just like, an incredible jackass) . i need to make him worse i need to make him MEANER!

Pouty Baby 😚