for context: star trek into darkness (specifically, my take on the implications of bones doing what he had to do and the emotional fallout of those missing scenes) (not that ive seen it!! but ive read enough fic to know the gist of it LMAO) (can you believe this started as an impulse draw to see if i could use pastels to convey heavy emotions and now im writing a very very long headcanon in my notes app.)
...
Leonard goes and he plays god, and injects Jim with that godforsaken blood, and then there is nothing left to do but wait.
He sinks into the chair at his desk, and steeples his fingers together. It occurs to him that these circumstances are the sort that would drive any religious man to bow his head and clasp his hands together, like so, and pray.
--but he is a doctor, and he has never been religious, and he has a duty to do, and he has broken his oath, and there is blood on his hands and flecking his shirt.
Leonard sits very still at his desk and weeps, and he does not pray.
...
sorry to all of y'all who had to find out i was an angst goblin this way <///3 but basically the hc/rough fic is an extension of the angst potential of that one scene where jim wakes up and fixates on spock (and his lack of response towards bones is never addressed afterwards i think? not sure but it's an interesting premise imo)
brief summary: bones never gets closure from jim after he wakes up because jim and spock get together immediately after and it just slips their minds, so bones is stuck in "oh god jim's dying" mode and feels absolutely terrible, but the bridge crew helps a bit by being there for him to hang out with, but still bones does overwork while trying to work through the sense of wrongness of not being able to have his emotional needs met after the whole jim dying fiasco and feeling like his best friend has forgotten him. he admittedly makes good progress (by which i mean he's able to take really big overwhelming feelings and put them away well enough in his daily life to function relatively normally) but the crushing grief is always in the background. about a month or so after spirk gets together, spock accidentally brushes bones' arm and is absolutely slammed by a wave of unexpected exhaustion and emotional pain and is like ??????!!!????????? long story short he drags bones to jim and bones cries for the first time since jim "died" and it is immensely cathartic and then jim blurts out a confession because he has horrible timing and asks bones to join him and spock and obviously bones cries harder and spock is about to smack jim upside the head lmao (bones says its way too much to process and he needs time but hes not exactly opposed, and they all start spending more time together, and then eventually bones is like fuck it and asks for a kiss and they finally get together !!!!!!)
as a treat for reading all of my mildly insane word vomit y'all get a soft bittersweet aos mcspirk scribble<33
gotta love aos jim's majestic eyebrows and aos spock's general sort of >:[ expression!! really growin on me tbh
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ummm omg hi hi can i get either 💀 or 🪶 for either of inuo/kko .. 👉🏻👈🏻
hello there dear~~ you can in fact get BOTH!!
💀 No warning and 🪶 Deliberate for Y/uta & T/oge~
(aged up, picture early 20's working as fellow sorcerers~) Dropped under cut!
~Key~
Shake = Yes (with "?" is yes?)
Mentaiko = Motivational (in this context 'go on?' or 'you can go on?')
Ikura = Cursing/Expletive
Takana = Concern/Worry
~~~~~
“-and so then Maki showed me how to do the move, you just gotta drop your leg when you’re swinging, which is actually harder than it sounds, so I fell a lot of times, and-” Yuta trails on, head pressed against Toge’s chest as they lay against the cool grass.
It had been a hot week, but the fall chill was finally starting to creep into the air. It was a welcome relief, especially to the sorcerers working night and day in the sweltering heat. Yuta and Toge were not exempt from this fate, today being one of the first days this week they’ve gotten to spend time together.
Reaching down, Toge taps Yuta’s arm to pull his focus back, raising his hand above their heads, fingerspelling a message.
Want a drink?
“Oh, sure! I guess it is still a bit dry out here,” Yuta replies, pausing to meet Toge’s gaze. “Is your throat feeling okay? I know you had a heavier assignment yesterday.”
I’m okay.
Comes the reply, followed by a kiss on the forehead that Yuta leans into with a sigh. The drink conversation immediately forgotten in lieu of the touch.
Toge leans his head into Yuta’s hair, soaking it in. The smell is familiar, something vaguely floral, with hints of leather and vanilla and… something hard to explain, but distinctly Yuta. Another sigh runs through them both, their breath synchronizing as they seem to melt deeper into each other.
“ishh-! Ikura-”
“hiHYIhhDJShhuh-!”
Hands immediately come up.
Sorry, didn’t mea-
Yuta cuts him off with a single touch, his fingers locking around Toge’s wrist. Not enough to prevent the movement, just to show that it’s unnecessary. With his other hand still pressed to his nose, Yuta gives him a warm look, letting the adoration flooding his eyes do the talking.
“kshh-! yshh-! hh’pshhiee-!”
Guilt floods Toge’s eyes as Yuta gasps, ducking into his sleeve. “hHdJZSHuh-! hH… ehHh- ehTZSShhIHyew-!”
There’s a pause, both waiting as Yuta’s chest swells, nose trembling as his eyes crash shut for a final “hIHtzDJZShyieww-! Whew, scuse me!”
“Takana…”
“Hey,” Yuta begins, rubbing circles against Toge’s palm. “I’m sure, really. It was just sneezing. Honestly, I’ve had a tickle all day that just wouldn’t come out, you were doing me a favour!”
Seeing the uncertainty still lingering on Toge’s face, Yuta begins to stand. Toge watches, hands as silent as his voice as he waits to see where this is going. Once Yuta has his balance, he reaches down and pulls Toge up with him.
“Shake?”
“Just follow me.” Comes the reply, Yuta heading off towards the school. Despite having been out of it for years, somehow on days off, they always seem to find themselves gravitating towards it.
Walking through the field, memories come in flashes. Remnants of their past coming in waves. The bench where Yuta first opened up, the room they shared their first kiss in, and the garden where they had their first fight.
All these moments in time replaying as they walk through the empty building, hand in hand. Finally they reach the kitchen, Toge tiling his head in lieu of words.
“Hold on, I know I left it somewhere around…” Yuta trails off, eyes scanning the cupboards until finally, “Oh! Got it.”
Spinning around, he shows off his prize. Toge takes a step back on instinct, one hand raising to his face, the other beginning to spell.
What is that for?
Warmth floods Yuta’s face, beaming as he reaches down to the duster and plucks a single feather. “Well, you feel bad about making me sneeze, so…” he pauses, letting the barbs from the feather shimmer in the air. “I figure this will even us out!”
You know you’ll sneeze too? “Shake? Takana…” Toge replies, a mixture of spelling and sounds, his voice wavering slightly. Just the visual dynamic is already taking its root in his sinuses, and they both know touch is where he’s most sensitive.
Yuta pauses for a minute, letting his gaze meet Toge’s, an air of hesitation to his tone. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. It was just an idea to make you feel better because I’m the one controlling our reactions.”
“Shake.” If you’re sure, so am I.
With permission given, Yuta takes a step forward, letting the feather brush just under the tip of Toge’s nose. The effect is immediate, his eyes starting to tear as his markings begin to get a light flush. As his mouth dips open, Yuta has a clear view of the markings on his tongue, before suddenly Toge dips into his chest.
“iieshh-! hshh-! dshhh’iew-!”
Yuta makes a noise of content, before burying his own face in Toge’s chest, feeling strong arms pull him close. “hH’DJZShhuUh-! ehtzZSHhhihhyew-! knEZSShhhyeww-!”
B l e s s.
Each letter is spaced out, the emphasis lingering in his hands. Yuta grins up at him, sniffling against his wrist. “So we’re even now?”
"tieshh-! kishh'yew-!"
"eHKYIEZShhuh-! hktZSShhDjZSHyeeww-!"
“Shake.” Now we are.
Toge lets a giggle escape, swiping at his nose before nuzzling into Yuta’s neck. Standing back to his full height, Yuta easily pulls Toge into his chest, letting them both sink onto the couch behind them.
“I like it, you know,” Yuta murmurs.
Toge feels his breath catch, and he looks up to meet Yuta’s gaze. He nods for him to continue, offering a soft “Mentaiko..?”
“Feeling close to you. I don’t mind it when your technique causes a reaction. It just… makes me feel close to you. Like I’m in your world, sharing your sensations.” A blush spreads over Yuta’s cheeks, their hue starting to match Toge’s markings. “I just thought you should know.”
Words forgotten once more, Toge leans up and meets Yuta’s lips. He tastes of vanilla, and leather, and something distinctly Yuta.
It’s Toge’s favourite flavour in the world.
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