Something I love about Leo is that, canonically, he IS capable of cooking, he’s just completely incapable of using a toaster. He’s banned from the kitchen not out of an inability to make edible food, but because being within six feet of a toaster causes the poor appliance to spontaneously combust.

i remain sincerely, unshakably convinced that aeron’s one true talent is basketball. he’s 6’5” and built like a scarecrow i know he would absolutely destroy the westerosi bball circuit if it weren’t for the Trauma turning him away from sports towards substance abuse and religion

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

ah yes, my favorite toxic power couple, eldritch taika waititi and revenant barbie

Aaliyah + what who she wants

spring has sprunked!

Mf with academic validation issues who grew up in an emotionally neglectful family gets 1 compliment once

Save my boy Deuce 🩵🩵🩵

AND THERE IT IS! HIROKO UTSUMI'S SIGNATURE MOVE!! REFLECTED IN THE EYE OF YOUR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!

What’s your favorite bit of lore? Or favorite holiday/festival in genshin they’re pretty neat

i'm absolutely biased towards lantern rite tbh

as for bit of lore, i'm not really sure. i feel like 'bit of lore' is really weird to define, bc ultimately most lore is all connected into bigger pictures. obviously i'm partial towards liyue lore in general, but as for a specific little bit...

probably still the possibility that zhongli is partial to archery.

vlahesa for the soul 💗

i saw someone mention them and highschool in the same sentence and they took over my mind 😭😭

Honestly what makes the idea of Moria joining Cross Guild really exciting for me is just the sheer combat potential he could bring (especially if Cross Guild managed to recruit a few more Shichibukai, Hancock especially)

And I don't mean on the zombie side of things, but rather, the fact that you can take shadows from people and put them into other living people to make them more powerful. Which, y'know, powerful enough with no-name goon shadows. But imagine doing that with a bunch of fucking Warlords

Like there's Option A of Moria taking a bunch of Warlord Shadows to either power himself up, or putting them into someone else (who's mentally strong enough to handle them) to make that guy Motherfucker Supreme

But then there's also Option B of just doing a little shadow shuffle where everybody gets the shadow from the Warlord next to them. Suddenly, every Warlord gets a Warlord-level power boost. That's broken as hell, these fuckers would be unstoppable

(Of course, if everyone had to lend their shadow to someone else, they'd all die if they touched sunlight too long. However, Crocodile can make sandstorms, so he could block sunlight. As I said, unstoppable)

One better (Patreon)

rewatching the first few seasons on bnha again and it's just so funny the way everyone talks about shouto. "his judgement, his abilities, his skills.... they're all better than the average pro!" "he has no fear, he doesn't flinch, he just moves!" and it's just like, uhhh yeah? that's what happens when you're raised as a child soldier????

A message to the recent & future transgender pick-mes.

If you’re a trans pick-me (no matter where you align with gender) there’s a special place in Hell just for you & I don’t even believe in Hell. Having trauma isn’t excusing your actions of going out of your way to hurt other people actively. It explains that it comes from a place of hurt potentially or you’re just turning into a rage-bait influencer because it makes you money. Either way you come after trans people who don’t do being trans exactly like you so they “aren’t really trans.” You get a taste of the right-wing rage-bait money pot & you wanna keep going because money & maybe some weird part of you thinks this will save you from transphobic attacks? Honey, we’re all just fags to them no matter how we look or act. Even if you’re a cis person not following the norm or unaware of the politics of it all, you’re still just a faggot to them who they will eventually want to snuff out. I’m saying this as a tranny fag just to be clear! You can’t be playing these exclusion games & thinking it’s going to make you powerful! Even Milo Yionnapolis or whatever that fucker’s name was got dropped by the Trump Administration! They do not like us & they never will like us! Democrat, republican, whatever it is; if it’s capitalist, it doesn’t like us! No matter how much you lick those boots, it’ll do you no good. You’re a faggot/tranny just like me & the rest of us, that’s how these suits see it & always will see it no matter how much you try to prove “I’m one of the good ones.” They aren’t going to save you, we’re all on the chopping block to them no matter what our politics are. These government folks don’t see any of us as “one of the good ones.” Get over yourself, grow the fuck up, and stand side-by-side with your transsexual siblings! All we have is each other, these cis people aren’t shit! 💜 Down with cis! 💜