#you are so not invited to my bar mitzvah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gothicprep · 9 months

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i started writing this and it ended up way longer than anticipated. apologies in advance.

a movie called "you're so not invited to my bat mitzvah" has been on netflix's top 10 for the past couple of weeks now. i thought, "i wonder what this is", looked it up, saw it was review bombed, and thought to myself. great. now i have no choice to watch this.

i'll just write my review of this, and then get into what i found odd about the review bombing.

this is the latest adam sandler production for netflix. it's a coming of age story, kind of a modern take on "are you there god? it's me, margaret?" sort of thing. deals with all the difficulties of modern life – phones, tiktoks, hip rabbis, etc – and the eternal difficulties of life – puberty, getting your priorities in order, why god allows evil, hip rabbis, etc – in a way that's both familiar and specific. it's familiar in part because sandler casts people from his regular orbit, but also a very specific movie because it's about a very specific milieu. which is to say, upper middle class jewish girls and their parents, and tension between a religious event which involves a lot of intellectual preparation for an adult responsibility, and the consumerism involved with bar/bat mitzvah inflation in families that can afford to celebrate on that scale.

i found the specificity charming, especially in the depictions of the protagonist (played by sunny sandler, adam sandler's daughter) and the various difficulties she has with her father (played by her irl dad). although, i'm grading on the netflix curve here, which i'd define as "was this a movie you can watch while you're looking at your phone and still be entertained by even though you're not paying close attention to" and it's pretty much that. i'd say a little bit better than average, because the performances of the young actors really nail it. sunny sandler is great in this. she's not afraid to come off as totally ridiculous, especially in one scene where she's wearing overdone makeup and trying to take selfies. she seems genuinely bereft when her friendship with her best friend unravels. her character does some things which are genuinely cruel, even by the standards of teen movie stuff, but she has a lot of potential as a physical comedian.

it's easy for a movie like this to be a total nepotism project, but it also does not work if sunny sandler isn't good in her role, and she is. and the kids who play her friends are also good in their roles.

another thing that i also found fascinating about this wasn't just the specificity of the jewish experience that's depicted in it, but also the specificity of the current situation where teenagers aren't just presenting themselves on their phones all the time, but in which they're recording each other on their phones all the time. we've all been cautioned about what we share online, but there isn't yet conventional wisdom about documentation we have of other people outside of, idk, "you shouldn't share other people's nudes". and it does a good job of blending a specific cultural milieu with a specific generational experience.

it's not ibsen or anything but it's, like, fine.

so. the review bombs. i think this might have gotten a lot of traction on tiktok, because a lot of the 1 star reviews are prefaced with "i am [12-14] and jewish and i didn't like this". i'm not here to pick on them, but a lot of them share a common gripe about it which is... i'll just pull some quotes from them:

"As a young woman, myself, I was extremely disappointed in the oversexualization and generally offensive depictions of teenagers (especially the girls) in this film."

"With the barbie movie just coming out, I thought we were past sexualising girls. But here comes along a movie AIMED AT KIDS and teaches them that incredibly revealing outfits and quite sexual pictures are correct and even possibly supported for kids!"

"I also noticed that it sexualized teenagers after the amount of times they said “hooking up” after reminding us that they are only 13 years old"

"Second off this show “shows off” 12 year olds in a very dirty way in some parts of the show and some parts are absolutely disgusting."

"Stereotypes, sexualising of 12 and 13 year olds, and teaching people that this is how Jews are"

i'm not going to be like "these dipshits in middle school do not understand the language of film, unlike me, a 28 year old woman who is very smart". but there's nothing remotely sexual in this movie. there's the scene where sunny sandler's character is taking trying to take IG type pictures with her friends, but the audience isn't invited to ogle at it. like, one of her friends is holding a floor lamp so it functions as a ring light, and the dialogue is, like, "how do i look?" "like your goldfish just died :/". and stuff like "they kissed and i heard he touched her underboob" is no more salacious than the sort of juvenile gossip that you'd find in an actual junior high school.

that all said, it's very jarring to me to hear people in that age group using "it sexualizes teenagers" in their critical vocabulary. i don't think that would even cross my mind when i'd be that young and watching a comedy. and i could be reading too much into it, but the ongoing moral panic about sex ed and kids seems like it's driving kids nuts just as much as it is adults.

all of this is a long winded way of saying, this culture war shitstorm has gotten a lot of coverage in terms of the parents who want to ban books, but maybe it'd be prudent for someone to pitch a piece that focuses on how this whole thing is impacting young people who are no doubt absorbing some of this through osmosis and tiktok.

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biohazurdd · 1 month

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falsettos and rent are my favs u shoulf tell me what yoy like ab9ur thisr two musicals soecifically

falsettos is my favorite for a few reasons

for one its been around since 1981, which for such an explicitly queer musical is really cool to me

it helped me also realize that i was probably queer in a funny way, i really fixated on martin and whizzer and i was like “thats so weird haha why could that be” (its because i was a queer little guy and seeing two men be so expressly intimate meant a lot to me)

it was also interesting to be able to relate to a lot of the characters and apply them to my everday life, i see my mom a lot in trina for example

i also think its a beautiful example of queer solidarity (ex: charlotte and cordelia helping marvin), and that the lesbians are super slept on theyre really cute and lovely, they deserve more attention

marvin and whizzer where do i even START man.. their relationship is really beautiful to me in a strange way. its not totally healthy and functional, but they’re trying their best and they choose each other over everything again and again and again.

im a die hard truther that all they needed was a good therapist and time to actually sit down and talk to eachother instead of just assuming that sex could fix everything..

and we can really see that towards the end when whizzer gets sick, you can see how well they genuinely work well together when push comes to shove and when they really need each other.

i’ll never get over how marvin stayed in that hospital room for god knows how long and how deeply jason and whizzer bonded before he died. i think its a really harrowing experience as the viewer to watch this family grow and develop and try to function only to be put back at square one after the loss of the family member they all, in their own way, were just beginning to accept and come to turns with.

im so normal about the baseball game and how no matter how hard marvin tried to be a hardass he just couldnt resist going back to whizzer because he knew that the truth was he loved him.

and again the dynamic between jason and whizzer just immediately brings me to absolute tears !! always !! the fact that jason didnt want to have his bar mitzvah without whizzer there, that whizzer helped convince jason to attend therapy, that jason invited whizzer to his baseball game despite him and marvin having been split for 2 years at that point hello??

also just how important it is for young queer people to be educated about the aids & hiv crisis and just how heavily it affected our lgbt elders, especially gay men. this musical started debuting when this crisis was on the rise and at its climax, and its still important today to remember why there are fewer elder queer people and why its so important to be educated on queer history and safe sex.

marvin and whizzer are excellent queer characters, but these events also happened in real life to thousands of people.

according to the CDC, nearly 330,000 gay and bisexual men with stage 3 HIV (AIDS) have died since the 1980s.

these are our fellow queer siblings, who are still fighting the battle our elders did. its so important to get tested, practice safe sex, and be open with your partner(s) about your sexual history. thousands of queer people are losing their loved ones to stds and illnesses like HIV and AIDS, don’t let you and your loved ones go without being tested and safe.

thats all, thank you for the ask, sorry this ones so long and heavy. :]

#harvey’s insane ramblings #falsettos #falsettoland #thanks for this ask #its really important to me

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fakakta-art · 1 year

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I have this Jewish Dick Grayson headcanon but I'm not Jewish so I was wondering if you'd give me feedback or something like that if it's not too much trouble. I imagine he'd be raised secular by his parents and when he starts living with Bruce he participates in Jewish traditions/holidays because Bruce uses his own family experiences to try and connect with his new kid. so Dick decides to fully lean into it and convert to Judaism. I think he'd have a Bar Mitzvah to formally show that, but Bruce didn't have any formal event for his because without his parents it's difficult. so when Dick gets to really celebrate his Bar Mitzvah it's a special moment of connection for them and Bruce is very proud. Dick becoming Jewish helped him reconnect with his mom after her death and it's all very sentimental. once again I'm not Jewish so I don't know if that makes sense

I'm always happy to talk Jewish batfam and i absolutely love when people share their HCs with me! :D I'm so flattered you reached out! If you mean you HC Dick as having a Jewish parent/parents, but just not being raised religiously Jewish, he wouldn't actually need to "convert". Judaism is an Ethnoreligion, aka: an ethnicity AND a religion, so you can be ethnically Jewish and not religiously, and vice-versa. It is enough to simply be born to Jewish parents (Mother if you're traditional, either if you're more reform). Conversion in Judaism is quite different from a lot of other religions, since Judaism is considered a "closed" religion. Gentiles (non-Jews) can convert, but the process is arduous and involves lots of study and communications with rabbis, etc.

If you mean raised secular in that John and Mary are both gentiles, but Dick ends up adopted as a kid by Bruce (a Jewish man), then he could be raised culturally Jewish, and might even be accepted as such in some Jewish communities depending on the denomination and such, but he would technically still need to convert to be "officially" Jewish.

A Bar Mitzvah does not count as a conversion, it's a separate, but very important coming-of-age ceremony that considers you a Jewish adult when a boy turns 13. It comes with responsibilities and practices, definitely something I love imagining Dick having, being supported by Bruce though, and reconciling with his past and such.

For the sake of not making the worlds longest post, I'm putting the rest under the cut!

I'm totally a sucker for HCs of someone reconnecting to their religion, I'm also totally a sucker for Jewish HCs so you're totally in my wheelhouse! I absolutely invite you anytime to message me or anything cause I could go for days on this.

I wont dump my entire hoard of HCs on you, but yours are actually quite similar to some of mine!! I figured I'd share some ehe, no obligation to read it or nothin'

Bruce I HC to be Ashkenazi Jewish, on both Martha and Thomas's side. I imagine they were somewhat conservative (Masorti) Jewish, but Martha's extended family was Orthodox. I HC Bruce was raised pretty Jewishly until his parents were killed, and from then on Alfred, who is not Jewish, did his best to uphold the values and religion that Bruce's parents had left behind with him. Also, bc I always establish a latke Opinion for every Jewish HC I Have...Bruce would totally be a cream cheese and lox latke guy, bougie ass. As for a Bar Mitzvah for Bruce...I usually waffle between HCs of either

A) Bruce not doing a bar mitzvah celebration since there's many practices associated w the parents that he knew would be too painful, but as an adult he regrets not having one or might even do a belated one as an adult at some point with prodding from his kids

Or B) Alfred, knowing the importance of it, pushes Bruce to actually do it and tries his best to do the parental duties. It's sweet small and all that but still nice

As for Dick, I usually HC that his father John was Romani and his mother Mary was Jewish, born Miryam (Jewish name) but changed it to Mary to pass as gentile cause of the Antisemeitism. I HC her, and by extension Dick, as Sephardic rather than Ashkenazi (regionally different flavors of Judaism due to diaspora, very interesting to look up if you have time). Anyways, Bruce and Dick def had a "similar but different" motif about it but very wholesome. I think Dick still knew stuff and had a connection to it, but didn't like, attend services or anything pre-Bruce. He probably loved Purim, though. I imagine when Dick was young, he and Bruce would celebrate Shabbat together and light the candles every week. As for Latke pref...applesauce and sour cream at the same time on the same latke.

For Jason, I actually HC him as mixed race (afrolatino, white, etc) and raised Catholic, so pre-Bruce he didn't know anything about Judaism at all. I don't think he'd have crazy strong connections to religion of any sort, but he'd still have some adjusting to do. I think he'd participate culturally with the fam, doing Passover seders, playing dreidel, etc, but I don't think he'd be doing much praying or anything. Sour cream on Latkes truther, but he'll add pico de gallo sometimes if he's got it.

Now for Tim, I also HC as Jewish, but whereas Martha and Thomas were very outwardly Jewish, I imagine Tim's parents were not. In my hcs, Janet was raised conservative but sorta dropped it. Jack was raised reform and didn't really practice anything. I imagine they didn't want to broadcast a lot of their Jewishness out of fear it would impact their business, which they cared about more. Most of Tim's participation started and ended with the High Holy Days, or the occasional moment his parents ever rarely felt religiously inclined. Maybe some brief Hanukkah stuff, cause of the capitalism and whatnot. I think he would do a lot of his own research, though, and know enough to get by. I think he would also eat his Latkes with ketchup, bc he's bonkers.

Now for Damian, obviously he's half Jewish cause Bruce is his father, but Talia I HC as Muslim (can't remember how canon it is) and raising him practicing Islam I think makes him lean more towards that religiously even if he is ethnically both. He's interested in Bruce's culture, bc thats his dad! but not like, with spiritual intent at his age. I think the whole fam though is happy to celebrate Eid with him, support him fasting during Ramadan, etc, though! When Alfred makes Latkes though he prefers applesauce or plain, as most kids in my experience prefer.

ANYWAYS sorry this got WAY longer than I thought it would. I have more for the rest of the batfam and stuff but i'll stop here. Biggest HC dump EVER huh..anyways if you actually got to the end thanks for reading it! feel free to message me any questions or send another ask, clearly, I usually have something to say about it LOL

#WOW this got long #also keep in mind many other jews have different experiences with this stuff. theres a lot of different communities and experirences #so what I feel and have seen def will be different than what someone else's take might be #ask #my art #dick grayson #bruce wayne #i wont tag the rest cause its not even in da art...anyways sorry for so much reading haha #thanks for the ask!

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stars-inthe-sky · 2 months

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So, hey. How did you and your family celebrate Passover when you were a kid? How about now?

My Rhode Island aunt and uncle almost always hosted a big family Seder, and it was the absolute best. A good Seder is educational, food-filled, and legit fun—it's a ritual meal that includes storytelling, singing, prayers, and a general focus on including and teaching everyone involved, regardless of age or even whether attendees are Jewish. (If ever you're invited to a friend's Seder, go! Do not bring a challah, which my actually-bar-mitzvahed brother-in-law did once as an attempt at a thoughtful host gift. We still make fun of him.)

And my uncle (the same one who officiated at my wedding, and the wedding of my other sister) may well be the greatest host/leader there is; over the years he compiled from a medley of sources what added up to his own Haggadah (basically the guidebook to the Seder—there are a million published and informal versions working off the same template, with readings and activities and interpretations that can go kid-centric or feminist or traditional or whatever). It was always just insanely fun, and warm, and joyous, with incredible food and an increasing array of baked-in, just-us traditions.

Since I went to college basically down the street from their house, and then lived just an hour away in Boston for so long, that was pretty much the heart of my and my family's celebration most years—right up until Passover 2020, at which point the pandemic negated what had been plans to travel from our new home in Illinois for it, and they also downsized and had their own kids scatter geographically and gain very little ones, so that particular tradition is at best on hiatus now.

But there are fun Seders everywhere—well, the Zoom ones of the pandemic years were a mixed bag, but we've found friends who've make a good go of it, over the years, too, if not quite as an elaborately planned out hourslong celebration as my uncle would do. When I studied abroad in Denmark, Boyfriend and I went to an Orthodox Seder that was in a mix of Danish and Hebrew, for instance—that was novel, and so much of the procedure and the Hebrew was familiar enough to follow along.

Still working on exactly where we'll be for those two nights this year (we haven't really met any Jewish families in Pittsburgh yet to garner an invite, and none of the Reform or Conservative synagogues seem to have community events, which is surprising? And I don't really want to go to Chabad?) but we'll figure something out.

That said, as fun as the Seders can and should be, the rest of Passover is a slog of not eating bread or adjacent products, and experiencing whatever it is matzah does to one's digestive system over the course of a week. It's a meaningful observance, and the fact that the relevant rabbinical boards have stopped including rice and legumes in the "no" column in recent years has been great, but...it's ultimately a holiday recalling the story of the Exodus, and how we were slaves once, so, like, there are some less-fun elements. But the freedom celebration parts usually outweigh that!

#ask me ask me ask me #stpauligirl #passover #pesach #jews!#jewish holidays generally have fairly set observances and the details come down to your family/community/congregation #as well as interpretation and denomination and general religiosity #but basically anyone celebrating passover will be doing some seders and no bread and lotsa matzah #and no it will never stop being amusing how often goyim seem to enjoy eating matzah and how jews *always* eat an assload and do not enjoy i #i'm sure it's because it's an imposed week out of the year and not a novel cracker alternative but anyway #a potentially amusing sidenote:#boyfriend has been in the picture since the beginning of college and always came to the family seder thereafter #the first time he remembered that his mom told him not to go to someone's house empty-handed and procured (in lieu of flowers or whatever)#a moses action figure which then graced that seder table proudly from 2006 onward #'moshe rabenu' also made an obvious and necessary appearance at our wedding #and another tidbit for the jews here #the first covid seder i'd seen someone do this on the internet somewhere #and so for the zoom seder made a separate account labeled 'eliahu ha'navi' and had it request admittance at the appropriate moment #got a BIG laugh. still pleased about pulling that off.

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softness-and-shattering · 2 months

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Does anyone know why and how cha cha slide came to be a bar/bat/bnei mitzvah staple?

I thought it was just my hometown but it was specifically in You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah! which feels very deliberate to me.

Tbh I want like an investigative journalism whole article about it because??? Why and how????

(Also why do Jewish events often have jazz music? Whats the connection there?)

#jumblr #jews and music #i just have so many questions #about these oddly specific cultural interactions #when was cha cha slide even written and released i should have a look #cha cha slide #if not jazz its at least brass instruments? sax and truuumpet? and keyboard and like. cello.#mine #jewish music

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determinate-negation · 9 months

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yoo its insane you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah opens with a nyc subway line themed bar mitzvah because ive literally seen that before with my own eyes

#at a venue in midtown #mine

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emilysworldoffandoms · 10 months

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You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah Thoughts

Even though my Bat Mitzvah will have been 14 years ago next month, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Being thirteen years old is challenging enough—crushes, friendship issues, school work, extra curricular activities (for me: it was ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, company, and Girl Scouts), etc. Hebrew School, Bat Mitzvah prep, and a Mitzvah project added to middle school drama.

There were Bat Mitzvahs that I thought I would be invited to and I wasn’t. There was so much studying, which came with your Torah and Haftarah portions. However, the Bar and Bat Mitzvahs I did attend, I enjoyed. I had fun singing and dancing with my friends, having a Shirley Temple, buffet, and ice cream bar almost every weekend in the spring of seventh grade and fall of eighth grade.

At the end of the day, my Bat Mitzvah was an important milestone. My parents told me that I could only have a party if I continued with Hebrew school. I did. Judaism is really important to me and a huge aspect of my life. (I’m a Hebrew school teacher).

I wish this movie existed when I was going through all of this.

Favorite line: “Do you want to know what my theme was? Being Jewish.”-the dad

I love how all the girls are calling out the boys when they’re making fun of periods.

That synagogue looks amazing! Love the diversity of Jewish people the movie is showing.

I like how this movie captures what it’s like to be Jewish.

Being thirteen was so much simpler before Instagram, TikTok, and smart phones. We had flip phones and maybe some people were on FaceBook or MySpace. I only used my cell-phone to call my parents for an emergency.

These Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are more over the top than the ones I attended and the ones my brother attended four years later.

I love the inclusion of “Hava Nagila,” the chair lift, Bar and Bat Mitzvah shirts, and throwing candy at the temple.

Taking responsibilities for your actions--that's the true definition of adulthood.

I loved watching a movie full of Jewish characters, who were all different, but non-Jewish people could relate to their stories—growing up, crushes, and friendship drama.

My favorite character was: Nikki. She was just being herself. I didn’t know how to be anyone but myself and wanted nothing to do with the popular crowd.

#fandoms #fangirl #blogger #you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah #jewish stories

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brokenjere · 2 years

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bad in the bones (c.f) (part 2)

A/N: ahhh! Second part is here - let me know what you guys think in the comments or send me an inbox/ask bc I like talking to you guys 🥹🥹 hope you love it

Synopsis: first dinner in Cousins reveals some truths about the Fisher’s and Belly is convinced to make a change this summer

catch up here

I sit at the dinner table, sandwiched between Belly and Steven, and pick at the chicken that was on the plate in front of me. The conversation was bustling, especially between Jeremiah and Steven. You’d think that they never spoke during the other seasons, but I knew firsthand that wasn’t true. They just could not stop making jokes.

Laurel was sitting on one end the table and Susannah on the other and across from me, Conrad was slumped over, in his own little world, oblivious to everything going on in the world around him.

My stomach churns, not feeling really hungry but that could either be because I ate too many Twizzlers on the ride in or I was still suffering the heartbreak blues. “You okay?” Belly leans over and asks. I smile up at her and nod, shoving a piece of chicken in my mouth. She looks at me with pity and I knew she thought it was the latter and I hate that being a heartbroken, sad sap was a part of my personality now. I hate that that’s what she thinks about when she looks at me.

“So, Belly, I have something for you,” Susannah says, getting both of our attentions. She gets out of her chair, making us all watch as she grabs something from out of the kitchen. It’s a small, white envelope and she hands it to Belly. In gold letters scribbled on the front it reads: Cousins Beach Debutant Ball.

“Is this why you had to go to the country club earlier?” Laurel asks, making Susannah laugh and shrug. There was a country club here? Of course their was.

“What’s a debutant ball?” Belly asks, looking at Susannah. A scam. A show. A miserable excuse for people to put young girls on display. Laurel expresses my thoughts verbally and Susannah rebults, telling Belly that it was a coming of age. Like a bar mitzvah.

“It is not like a bar mitzvah,” Laurel scoffs. Susannah shrugs, accepting defeat.

“I’d really like you to consider,” she says, finally. Belly folds up the invitation and puts it down on the table.

“Debs are for sheep,” Conrad speaks up. It was the first time he spoke all dinner and everyone looks over at him. He doesn’t look up even after Jeremiah starts to take jabs at him.

“Didn’t you go last year? With Nicole?”

“Who’s Nicole?” Belly asks. I feel heat radiating off of her arms and Conrad looks up at her like she had no right to speak.

“It was after you guys left for Steven’s college tour. It doesn’t matter, I only went because Mom asked me to.” I remember that summer and how they came home early. Steven and his dad went off on a road trip to check out colleges and I remember being viciously jealous that his dad cared that much. I felt guilty for feeling that way when a few months later, Laurel and John announced their divorce.

The two brothers bicker back and forth before Susannah tells them to stop. I keep my eyes focused on the peas that I moved around on my plate, popping one or two in my mouth every few seconds. “Conrad quit football, you know,” Jeremiah says, getting in one final jab before Conrad throws his fork down on the plate, a crash reverbrating through the room. It bounces off the china cabinet on the other side of the room and everyones eyes widen as they watch him walk away.

“Was that really necessary?” Susannah sighs, putting her head in her hands, her golden hair falling in front of her face. I look at Jeremiah, finding out more about his personality in the last few moments than I had learned from all the stories Belly and Steven had told me. He was a jealous little brother.

My phone buzzes in my hand and I click it open: Mallory.

how is it?????

My fingers hover over the keyboard on my phone, deciding what words to use to describe my first day in Cousin’s so far. There isn’t a lot to say, really. Gorgeous, warm, a seaside dream. And then there were the boys. Gorgeous, warm, a seaside dream.

good. how is josh?

I want to kick myself the second I hit send on the message. Who cares how Josh is? Me, apparently. I did. He was in my thoughts during the rest of dinner, while I was in the shower afterward, and even now, as I lay in my bed and stare out the window at the ocean. I was hoping to drown in it, but I hadn’t even stepped foot in the sand yet.

ughhhhh, stop with him already. any cute boys?

Yes. I want to type. Two.

i’m not ready to move on

lame

I set my phone down on the bed next to me. I’m looking up at the white ceiling and trying to focus on the sound of the beach below me but I keep hearing his name. I love you. Please don’t walk away. Please come back.

My phone buzzes again: tell me more!!!

I type back a vague response about how the sky matches the blue of the ocean and how Susannah’s smile is just as pretty in person as in the photos that me and Mallory always used to stare at whenever we were at Aunt Laurel’s and I hit send, hoping it would saciate her hunger.

If I am the wild to Belly’s calm, Mallory is the tornado to my light shower. She is wilder, funnier, more outgoing, and certainly always the center of attention. I’m in her shadow while many would say Belly is in mine. Mallory always rode in the front seat and we rode in the back. She was always at the head of the table while we were on the side, passing the butter and salt back and forth while Mallory unfolded the drama around us.

I don’t get a text back, but there’s a knock on the door. Belly sticks her head inside and I sit up in bed, telling her to come in. “Nice pick,” she tells me. “This one has the best lighting.” She’s wet, her hair dripping down her back over an oversized t-shirt. I bet she has her swimsuit on underneath.

“I thought so, too.” She sits down next to me on the bed. “Night swim?” I ask.

She nods and laughs, pulling her hair to the front of her body. “Sorry. I should have asked you to come with,” she says.

“I probably would have said no, anyway,” I tell her. I probably would have agreed, but I didn’t want her to feel bad for not inviting me. After all, it was probably weird for her to have a shadow this summer and the last thing I wanted to do was put a damper on her summer.

“The boys said I’m not invited to the bonfire tonight,” she tells me. “They all just left and Steven said I had to stay in. The moms are getting ready for our movie night.”

“What? Who are they to decide?” I scoff, shifting in the bed, sitting up on my elbows. Belly shrugs and looks at me. Her eyes are pooling with tears and if she starts to cry, I don’t know that I would be able to hold myself back, either. So far, I had not cried. I did not cry when I told Mallory I’d be gone all summer and I did not cry when Josh texted me asking if it was true and I did not cry when he told me he would miss me but seeing Belly cry, might just do it for me.

“I told you, now that we’re older I get left out a lot more. I’m too young,” she says, using her fingers as quotes around the words too young.

“You’re one year younger than them,” I tell her, throwing myself off the bed and heading to the closet. Mallory insisted that I pack hot clothes. She told me, “you’ll never know if you’ll find a hot boy to occupy your time.”

I throw a blue dress at Belly and tell her, “get dressed. We’re going.” Her eyes lit up as she lifted the dress up. I grab a white one out of my closet, one a little more flowy than the one I gave to Belly but it was still short. Mallory was right, it was lame that I hadn’t moved on yet.

“Isn’t this a little short?” Belly asks, holding it up to her body. It ended right below her ass.

“Maybe it’ll make Conrad look,” I shrug.

I spin her around the full-size mirror in her bedroom and whistle as her hair twirls around her. “These boys won’t know what hit them.”

“And what about you?” She says, gawking at me. I wave her off and grab my shoes, putting them on to avoid the conversation. “How are we going to get out?” She asks. The bedroom door is closed, but she whispers as if the moms can hear us. Belly and I already went down and told the moms we were just going to spend the first night. Have a girls sleepover in Belly’s room, if you will. They dismissed us with a sad smile and we came back upstairs.

“We’ll sneak out,” I say. “You’ve never snuck out before?” I knew that was true. Belly would never have been caught dead sneaking out, but before this summer she never really needed to. “It’ll be fine,” I tell her, grabbing her hand. I make her carry her flip flops so the moms don’t hear them slapping as we walk down the stairs and I tip-toe in my sneakers down the wooden steps, moving so slow you could have fallen asleep by watching us.

To say that this bonfire was worth sneaking out for would be a lie. There were too many people here and the sand was littered with beer bottles and cups. Jumper was just as sleezy as I remembered. He tried to put his arm around Belly and I when we arrived, trying to flirt his way into some company. Belly’s too nice to ever tell him no, so I give him a fake smile and tell him to get lost before dragging her further down the beach.

She stops in her tracks, causing me to fly backward from the sudden stop. I give her a look but she’s looking beyond me, further down toward the fire. I follow her gaze to see Conrad with a girl between his legs. He has them up, his arms wrapped around his knees. A small girl, petite with a Red Sox hat on, was sitting between his knees laughing at a joke he made.

“Oh.” She nods at my unintentional words. “Do you want to go the other way?” I ask. What other way? The only way was straight ahead and that would be entering the snake pit. He sees us before she can decide.

Then, she does something I never would have guessed: she calls him out. “Who’s that?”

Conrad looks stunned too, as does the girl. She replies as if she’s being spoken to. “Nicole, and who are you?”

“I took her to the deb ball last year,” Conrad says. She is who he took to the ball. And here she is, between his legs. I feel the anger for Belly. Her anger is now my anger despite being able to feel it penetrating off of her skin.

“I thought you said deb balls are for sheep,” Belly spits her words at him. Nicole shifts and I grab Belly’s hand to pull her away before the fight escalates.

“God you’re such a brat.” His words are harsh. Not like they’re meant for a girl he’s known since childhood. There was a bitterness there only reserved for the people you love that have hurt you. I have heard that bitterness more times than I care to admit.

“Oh, shut up Conrad,” I tell him, stunning even myself. Belly looks at me but I ignore her. Me and Conrad stare at each other, unwavering.

Neither of us speak, so I walk away with Belly trailing behind me. I take her to the keg and pour her a drink. “Here,” I say. She takes the drink from my hand and stares at me. “What?”

“You just told him to shut up.”

“Like you weren’t thinking about saying it.”

She scoffs and then says, “yeah but I never would.” And then she laughs and I laugh with her because how could I not. “Did you see his face?”

“Who’s face?” I turn around and Jeremiah sticks his head between Belly and I.

“Cons when Yn told him to shut up,” Belly tells him, her eyes wide and a smile on her face. Jeremiah’s eyes basically bulged out of his head when he looked at me.

“You said that?” I nod, shrugging my shoulders. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. He was just a boy. A stupid, stupid boy. “What are you guys even doing here?” He asks.

“We snuck out,” Belly tells him.

“You snuck out?” Belly nods. “Who are you and what have you done to Isobel Conklin?” He asks, a smile spreading over his cheeks as he pulls her into his side. Belly laughs and tries to shrug but she can’t.

“You don’t know me when I’m with my better half,” she says, winking at me.

“More like a bad influence.” Jeremiah winks, telling me he’s just teasing but I stick my tongue out at him anyway, rolling my eyes. “I’m glad you’re here,” he admits and squeezes Belly before he gets called away.

Belly chugs down her drink, barely stopping for a breath. I watch her as beer trickles down her chin and she wipes it away with the back of her hand. She hands me the cup and then gestures for me to refill it. I do. “Thanks,” she mumbles before taking a small drink of the freshly filled cup.

“You a heavy drinker now?” I ask, gently teasing her. But Belly was never much of a drinker. She had one or two occasionally at parties but never alone and never that much in such little time.

“He’s just so-“ she starts but then cuts herself off.

“So what?”

“So infuriating.” I nod as if I understand. “One minute he’s fine. We get along. I think maybe he even likes me back but then the next he’s canoodling with Nicole in the sand and telling me I’m a brat? What is that?” She drinks some more beer and I mirror her. “You know, last summer we were good. Great even. And now?” She shakes her head.

“Didn’t your mom say there was a vibe between you and Jeremiah?” I ask, trying to recall the conversation in the car on our way here. I was zoned out, staring out the window, picturing all the ways I could torture Josh with a pair of tweezers but I remember Laurel’s voice asking about Jeremiah and Steven’s outwardly disgust at the thought.

Belly waves me off. “We’re just best friends. Have been forever. He’s like my brother.”

“But if he likes you, why not give it a shot? Instead of pinning for Conrad when he acts like that?” It was just a suggestion, but Belly seems offended. She pulls back a little and furrows her eyebrows. I pretend not to notice and find Jeremiah in the crowd, his arm around a girl similarly to how he had his arm around Belly moments before. Maybe that’s why.

“Jeremiah doesn’t like me,” she says.

I shrug and drink my beer to avoid eye contact with her. She seems to let my comment go and continues her rant. “I just think if Conrad would get over himself, we could be fine again. I mean, out of all the summers, this so far has to be the worst he’s been.”

It just started, I want to say to her. But I don’t know Conrad. And I don’t know Jeremiah and who am I to give her advice about people and things I know nothing about. I don’t think I’d take any relationship advice from me right now as it stands, regardless.

My eyes find Conrad. He’s still in the sand but Nicole is gone. I don’t bother looking for her but it seems maybe Conrad is. Or he’s looking for Steven and Jeremiah. Or even Belly. His hair is in his face and he pushes it back with his hand and then he finds us by the keg and stops searching the beach.

He stares st me and I stare back as Belly talks. I see her hands waving in frustration through the corner of my eye and I nod like I’m listening but I think she’s too engrossed in her complaining to notice I’m not really paying much attention. Hate. Loser. Pain in the ass. All words she’s using to describe Conrad.

He gives me a small wave. And I wave back. He looks like maybe he’s about to stand up, but then Nicole comes back and she hands him a drink, taking his attention away from me and back onto her. “Are you even listening to me?” Belly finally asks, snapping her fingers in my face.

I look at her: all wide eyes and messy hair. “Yeah,” i lie. “I was listening to you.”

taglist: @marajillana

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher rec #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher imagine #tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #jeremiah fisher #jeremiah fisher imagine #tsitp imagine #jeremiah fisher fan fic #jeremiah fisher x reader #conrad fisher one shot #belly conklin

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tired-fandom-ndn · 8 months

Text

"Did anything fun happen at school today?"

"No, unless you count my entire life being ruined as fun!"

"Hey, is this about a boy?"

"It was about a boy until he had his bar mitzvah last weekend and didn't invite me! So now it's about a man!"

#i'm sorry this stupid fucking joke made me cackle #life in pieces

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a-chlolix-blog · 1 year

Text

Scarabée and Kitty Claws AU

Evillustrator. The artistic companion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The wonderful friendship between Alix and Nathaniel started years ago.

Younger Nathaniel, reaching for his coloring book: GIVE IT BACK, ALBERT!

Younger Albert, holding it even higher: Seriously? Coloring? What are you? a girl that likes pretty colors.

Younger Julien and Tristan: *laughs at Nathaniel*

Younger Alix, walking up to them: What's this about coloring's just for girls?

Younger Albert: Nate needs a girl to save- *gets hit by Alix's bag and falls to the floor*

Younger Nathaniel, shocked: ...

Younger Julien: Albert... are you okay?

Younger Albert, letting go of the coloring book, while crying: I'M TELLING THE TEACHER! *runs away with Julien and Tristan behind him*

Younger Nathaniel, picking up his coloring book: Thank you.

Younger Alix: No problem. I HATE bullies! Well, my dad's gonna be called after school. Better get to class.

Younger Nathaniel: *stops her from walking away* Wait! I'm Nathaniel.

Younger Alix: Alixandra. But my friends call me Alix.

Younger Nathaniel: C-can we be friends?

Younger Alix, smiling at him: Of course! Can you show me your coloring book? *picks up her bag and pulls her own coloring book out of it* I'll show you mine!

The two new friends then happily walked to class together.

~~~~~~~Present Day~~~~~~~

The whole Lady WiFi situation that happened two days ago was wild, but that wasn't gonna stop Alix from making sure Nathaniel has the best birthday ever!

💥Alix the Awesome🥇: Hey Birthday Boy! You ready for the best birthday EVER?!

🖋Nate the Artistic🎨: Knowing what you have planned, it'll probably be just as crazy as my Bar Mitzvah.

💥Alix the Awesome🥇: You say that as if you're NOT looking forward to it!

🖋Nate the Artistic🎨: Will you need extra help putting it together?

💥Alix the Awesome🥇: You know we're not gonna have you help set up your own party! You just gotta sit back and look pretty. I gotta take care of some LaCrosse stuff first. But after that, it's party time!

Nathaniel chuckles while putting his phone down.

He then looks at one of the many sketch books Alix got him for one of his birthdays and smiles.

After he's dressed for school, he quickly leaves his home.

Instead of thinking about the bullies and his awful father, Nathaniel's head was only filled with happy thoughts of his friends and the the Kubdel men having a fun party with him at The Louvre.

While Nathaniel walked to school, he saw Alix with Rose and Juleka and walked to school with them.

Alix: So ladies, are you two also looking forward to Nate's awesome party tonight?

Juleka: Yeah.

Rose: It's gonna be so wonderful!

Alix: Marinette's helping me and my dad out with the cake, so we KNOW it's gonna be awesome!

Nathaniel: If you keep all this planning up, you're gonna out due my Bar Mitzvah by a mile!

Juleka: We'll make sure there's LOTS of pizza too.

As the four of them walked towards the school steps, the Agreste limo pulls up.

Adrien then gets out of the limo and runs up to Chloé and Sabrina.

Sabrina then quickly notices Nathaniel walking with Alix Juleka and Rose.

Sabrina, shouting at him: Hey Nathaniel! Happy Birthday!

Nathaniel, surprised: Oh... Thanks!

As the the Sabrina and the two blondes walked into the school, Chloé was feeling quite surprised and curious.

Chloé: Today's Nathaniel's birthday...?

Sabrina: Oh yeah. Alix and the other Kubdels throw the best parties for him every year! I haven't been invited to one myself though...

Chloé, looking down: Yeah well... lack of party invites come with the "Mean Girl" rep. *thinks to herself* The Kubdels always DID throw the best parties.

Adrien: Hey! I'm sure everyone here will realize how dorky and sweet you two can be very soon!

This causes Chloé and Sabrina to laugh happily at Adrien's attempt to cheer them.

Adrien then gets a text on his spare phone.

🎭AK❓️: Hey Princey, how was your weekend?

Adrien chuckles before responding.

👑Princely Sunshine☀️: An absolute bore! But the whole Lady WiFi live stream made this week so eventful!

🎭AK❓️: It was insane! I can't believe Chloé actually got Scarabée's autograph though.

👑Princely Sunshine☀️: Is it really THAT surprising? Now Nate's gift? That's gonna be the biggest surprise of the year!

Alix chuckles at the response, which Nathaniel notices.

Nathaniel, noticing that she’s on her phone: Who are you texting?

Alix, quickly putting her phone away: Just making sure one of your MANY presents arrive, Birthday Boy!

The day went on as usually, but with everyone in the main class wishing Nathaniel a very happy birthday.

Nathaniel was having a very nice day.

While he waited for Alix to finish with her "LaCrosse Stuff", he was drawing himself as a superhero helping out both Scarabée and Kitty Claws.

Then three unfortunately familiar faces walked up to him.

Albert: Well well well! If it isn't the birthday boy!

Nathaniel: *ignores him and continues to draw*

Julien: Awww! Where's your pint-sized party planner?

Tristen: Did she finally come to her senses and ditch you?

When Nathaniel continues to ignore the trio, Tristen snatches his sketch pad away from him.

Tristen: Check it out! Nate here wants to be a superhero!

Nathaniel, quickly getting up: Give it back!

Albert: You? Helping out Scarabée and Kitty Claws!? Best joke I’ve heard all year!

Tristen: Not much you could do with a pen and sketchbook!

Julien: They’d have put off fighting villains to save you!

Julien: Do you really think you could fight alongside those two?! You need a strawberry shortcake to protect you!

Nathaniel: *snatches his sketch book back and runs away*

Albert, Julien, and Tristen: *laughs at him*

Nathaniel runs to the gym where he hears an unexpected conversation.

Alix: There's no way we can tell Nathaniel about this.

Adrien: Oh no, I totally agree with you!

Without being noticed or seen by the two, Nathaniel runs away.

Alix: It's SO expensive! Nate would cry hard and then refuse to accept the gift.

Adrien: That and my dad would LOSE IT if he found out that I got a gift like this for one of my classmates through social media. I could hear the lecture from him now...

Alix: Given that your old man's that much of a piece of shit, I can hear it too. It's sad though, I think Nate would be quite happy to get a gift from you. I'm sure if I explain the situation, he'll understand for sure!

Adrien, groaning: I wish I could go to the party!

Due to this misunderstanding, Nathaniel runs into the boy's bathroom and runs in an empty stall.

He even texted a certain someone for advice.

🖋Nate the Artistic🎨: Alix was talking with Adrien Agreste of all people about keeping a secret from me!

🎸Guitar Hero🩵: Are you sure that's the whole context? Did you stay to listen to more?

🖋Nate the Artistic🎨: No... but what else could "There's no why we can tell Nathaniel about this" mean?!

🎸Guitar Hero🩵: I don't know, but what I do know is jumping to the worst conclusions is a BAD idea. Ask her about it tonight, okay?

🖋Nate the Artistic🎨: I will

🎸Guitar Hero🩵: I gotta get back to work. Cheer up, Birthday Boy!

🖋Nate the Artistic🎨: I'll try, Lu.

While Nathaniel tried, he could not cheer up, he couldn't help but think upsetting thoughts.

"Could she wanna stop being friends?!"

"Was he who she was texting with when we walked in?!"

"Planning and throwing all these parties could be tiring..."

"Could Albert Julien and Tristen be right about her wanting to ditch me?!"

"Could she be tired of me not being able to handle my father by myself?! I need answers!"

Hawkmoth, sensing Nathaniel's emotions, sends an Akuma to Nathaniel and it lands in his stylus pen.

Hawkmoth: So many raw emotions that'll only be calmed by revenge and answers. I could give you the power you need for both. All I want are Scarabée and Kitty Claws' Miraculous!

Nathaniel: Okay, but I get to choose an extra power.

Hawkmoth: Of course, Evillustrator.

Albert, Julien, and Tristen were walking by the bathroom when Evillustrator kicks the door off its hinges and turns to face the irritating trio.

Tristen: Is that an Akuma?! So cool!

Evillustrator: You wanna see something even cooler?

Albert: Nathaniel?!

Evillustrator then quickly draws on his tablet and watches as Alix appears before him and the trio in a black and blue superhero suit while welding a scythe and wearing blazing roller blades on her feet.

Evillustrator, internally: My work. Deal with them until Scarabée and/or Kitty Claws show up to finish these jerks off.

Evillustrated!Alix: YOU'LL ALL PAY FOR HURTING NATE FOR YEARS!

Albert, Julien and Tristen: *runs away while screaming*

Evillustrator: Now to have a talk with the real Alix *walks towards the gym*

Chloé and Sabrina were on their phones when they saw "Alix" chasing the known annoying bully trio on blazing roller blades.

Sabrina: Was that Alix? Has she been akumatized?!

Chloé: Go hide! I'll go get Adrien!

Sabrina: Be careful, Chloé! *runs off*

After Chloé runs into a janitor's closet and closes the door, Plagg flies out of her purse.

Plagg: She's quite the fiery type, isn't she?

Chloé, sighing sweetly while blushing: You have no idea... *furiously shakes her head* Focus Chloé! Plagg, claws out!

Evillustrated!Alix had the three bullies cornered as she raises her scythe.

But before she could slice the three of them apart, Kitty Claws throws her baton at her head, which immediately got her attention.

Kitty Claws: I love the look. The scythe? Not so much.

Evillustrated!Alix then turns to her with a smile on her face.

Evillustrated!Alix, extremely excited: Kitty Claws! You're here! You can take care of these three jerks! *blows her a kiss before disappearing*

Kitty Claws: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!

Tristen: Holy shit, it's Kitty Claws!

Julien: No way!

Albert: She's alot hotter in person!

Kitty Claws, obviously annoyed: I need answers, now!

While Kitty Claws questioned the trio, Evillustrator kicked the gymnasium doors to the floor, which got everyone's attention, including Alix and Adrien's.

Alix: NATHANIEL?!

Evillustrator: I am Evillustrator now! And I've got questions for you!

Alix: Adrien, run!

Adrien: What about you?!

Alix: I'll be fine!

Evillustrator: OH HE MUST BE SO SPECIAL!

Out of jealousy and anger, Evillustrator quickly draws a leaser gun which he quickly uses to shoot at Adrien.

He manages to dodge every shot fired at him.

Evillustrator, still shooting at him: WILL YOU JUST HOLD STILL?!

Adrien, still dodging: No thanks, I enjoy living!

Thinking fast, Alix grabs the heaviest gym bag and throws it at Evillustrator.

While he’s on the ground, she grabs Adrien by the wrist and runs out of the gymnasium.

~~~~~~~~Back with Kitty Claws & the bullies~~~~~~~

Kitty Claws: So an akumatized Nathaniel drew on a tablet and that Alix appeared and attacked you?

Albert, walking closer to her: Enough talk about that Nate-Loser! Let's talk about-

Alix, still holding Adrien's wrist while running closer to the four: KITTY CLAWS?! YOU'RE HERE!!

Alix stops running once she's close enough to Kitty Claws and the three bullies.

Adrien: Alix? Not that I'm ungrateful that you saved me back there but... my wrist hurts REALLY badly.

Alix, quickly let's go of him: Sorry man!

Albert: So you did get a better friend! We were right!

Alix, holds him up against the nearest wall: What the fuck did you just say?

Kitty Claws, internally: I have to stop her, but I REALLY don't want to... has Ally-Kins been working out? Keep it together Chloé! *speaks out loud while pulling Alix away from Albert* from what little info these three gave me, I can tell Nathaniel got akumatized and went after them.

Adrien: But he came after us too. He even shot a leaser gun at me!

Kitty Claws: But why would he target you two?! Damnit! I wish Scarabée were here. She’d have this figured out by now!

Alix, whispering: Kitty... *speaks louder* I will tell you what I know, but it HAS to be the two of us.

Adrien: Say no more! I'll see you tomorrow, Alix! *runs off*

Alix: We also need a place for these three *points at Albert Julien and Tristen* to hide.

Albert: What a second-

Kitty Claws: On it! *throws the three into a janitor's closet*

Alix: We also have to get away from Nate.

Kitty Claws: *picks her up bridal style and runs out of the school* Where to next, Petite-Pêche?

Alix, trying to not blush at the surprise nickname: A private place to talk.

Kitty Claws: I know a nice peaceful place.

~~~~~~~At Montmartre~~~~~~~

Alix: This isn't exactly private.

Kitty Claws: But it is nice and peaceful. Now start talking.

Alix: I think he overheard me talking to Adrien, but misunderstood what was being said completely given that he's been akumatized. I wanna clear this up with him, but it's too dangerous now.

Kitty Claws: I'll be here to protect you when you do clear all this up with him. *gently holds her hand*

Alix, unable to hide her blush: T-thanks *quickly looks away from her*

Kitty Claws, internally: It's the least I can do, Ally-Kins. *speaks out loud while holding up her baton* I'm gonna text Scarabée the situation, you figure out how you're gonna explain this to your friend.

Alix: You know... he probably found those three by now.

Kitty Claws: Yeah, but to be fair, they're quite annoying.

Alix, giggling: I hope I'm not annoying by taking up too much of your time.

Kitty Claws: Oh no, never! This is time well-spent.

Alix, turning to look at her, revealing her blushing face: Really?

Kitty Claws, turning away to hide her own blush: YEAH! I got plenty of information just from talking to you! *thinks to herself* My Petite-Pêche is too pretty!!!

Alix: Since we can't wait for Scarabée for long, let's go take care of this ourselves.

Kitty Claws: Yeah...

Alix, internally: I DO have to hide away and transform after all.

Kitty Claws: I did get abit of usual info from those three though. None of them heard him give the Evillustrated you an order. And considering that she disappeared the second she thought I was gonna be on his side, he most likely ordered to hold off the bullies until me or Itty-Bitty showed.

Alix: Great thinking, Kitty Claws! You're very smart on your own too. Never doubt that!

Kitty Claws, starting to blush again: Thank you, Petite-Pêche~

Back at the school, Albert Julien and Tristen got out of the janitor's closet and ran out of the school.

That doesn't stop Evillustrator from sending a scary monster his drew their way.

Evillustrator, internally: Avoid the dark my creation. And bring them back to me!

Evillustrator stood on top of the school and watched with a grin as the monsters chased the trio of bullies around.

While carrying Alix bridal style again, Kitty Claws lands on a building not far from the school.

Kitty Claws: This guy's doing some serious damage. Where is Scarabée?

Alix: I'm sure she's just held up... by something! I'll try to explain everything to Nate now!

Kitty Claws then jumps and lands in front of the school, making sure to hold Alix tightly.

Evillustrator quickly notices this and jumps on the school and lands in front of them.

Evillustrator: Kitty Claws! How kind of you to bring Alix back to me.

Kitty Claws, holding her even tighter: That is NOT what is happening!

Alix: Nate-

Evillustrator: The name's Evillustrator!

Alix: Evillustrator, what you heard me and Adrien talking about was a complete misunderstanding!

Evillustrator: If it IS a misunderstanding... what were you and him texting about earlier?

Alix, noticing a bunch of people were around them with their phones out: I can't tell you now but-

Evillustrator: Since when do you keep secrets from your friends, Alix? Since this school year started, you've been nothing but secretive! Does your family know? Do the others know?!

Alix: I don't wanna lie to you...

Evillustrator, crying: I DON'T WANT YOU TO LIE TO ME EITHER!

While managing to see through his tear filled eyes, Evillustrator draws a hole under Alix and Kitty Claws & watches the two fall through it before adding steel bars on their only way out of it.

Kitty Claws lands on her feet and catches Alix as she fell.

Hawkmoth: What are you doing?! Get Kitty Claws' Miraculous!

Evillustrator: I will. Once I'm sure that I have Scarabée as well. Besides, there's one more personal thing I gotta take care off as long as I have these powers. *draws a hover board into existence, gets on it and flies away*

Once they were absolutely sure that Evillustrator was gone, Alix and Kitty Claws were getting ready to escape.

Alix: Kitty Claws, extend your baton and use your cataclysm on the bars!

Kitty Claws: Great thinking, Petite-Pêche~ *pulls her close*

After following Alix's instructions, the two find themselves out of the hole while everyone around them cheered.

Alix: Great job, Kitty Cat.

Kitty Claws: I guess we make a great team as well.

This short moment between the two is interrupted by Kitty Claws' beeping ring.

Kitty Claws: As you can tell from the beeping ring, I gotta go. Go thing there's a cheese shop not that far from here.

Alix: I think you and Scarabée should take care of it from here.

Kitty Claws: You were a great help today, Alix.*runs off*

While everyone around the school watched Kitty Claws leave, Alix took the opportunity to hide away so she could transform.

Tikki, flying out of her hair: Are you okay?

Alix: *sighs* I will be once we save Nate. Tikki, spots on.

After quickly buying abit of camembert cheese, Kitty Claws leaves and hides before transforming back and feeds Plagg the cheese.

Plagg, with his mouth full: Were you just planning on flirting with your "Petite-Pêche" the whole time?

Chloé, blushing: Shut up and finish your damn cheese.

When Kitty Claws makes it back to where the Monster is, she sees Scarabée flinging the monster into the hole with her yo-yo.

Kitty Claws, running up to her: Itty-Bitty? You're here!

Scarabée: Sorry it took me so long, KC. Thanks to a girl named Alix, I'm up to speed on the situation.

Kitty Claws: Do you think Evillustrator went to the Louvre?

Scarabée: No, I thinking of some place more... personal. Just follow me.

~~~~~~~At the Kurtzberg Household~~~~~~~

Gerald, crying while tied up with a self-tightening rope: Please don't do this son, I love you!

Evillustrator: Wow, you must be REALLY scared. Now you know how I've felt for years!

Before Evillustrator could draw anything else, Scarabée and Kitty Claws kick down the door.

Evillustrator: Damnit! Did ALIX tell you about this?!

Kitty Claws: Hey she cares about you a whole lot! She just wanted to be there for you! You're lucky those three annoying boys were able to hide away!

Evillustrator: Why would you hide them? Why are you here to save HIM?! They’re the villains here! They deserve punishment!

Scarabée: Will you just listen, Nathaniel?!

Evillustrator: The name’s Evillustrator! The REAL hero of Paris!! You two are just more villains I must take down!

Scarabée, internally: Don’t worry Nate, we’ll save you.

While Scarabée shocked her head to calm down, she had to shake it off and use her Lucky Charm.

A slingshot and a bag of marbles fall into her hands.

Gerald: How is THAT gonna save-

Scarabée: You shut up! *looks at all the lights in the room & thinks to herself* Nate, you never could draw in the dark.

Kitty Claws: Just tell me what to do, Itty-Bitty!

Scarabée, readying the slingshot: Keep Evillustrator busy!

Evillustrator: I'd LOVE to see you try!

Evillustrator then draws another Evillustrated Alix into existence, but this one was dressed at a witch with a fiery staff.

Evillustrator, internally to the Evillustrated Alix: Destroy Scarabée and Kitty Claws while I destroy HIM!

Evillustrated!Alix: I WILL END YOU! *runs at Kitty Claws*

Kitty Claws: CATACLYSM! *cataclysms the fake and watches her turn to dust* Sorry Little Witch, you can't compare to the original.

Scarabée, shooting the last of the lights: Got'em all!

Evillustrator: Damnit! It's too dark!

Evillustrator then groans in pain as his hand that held his stylus pen.

Hawkmoth, as the mask appears on Evillustrator's face: I TOLD YOU TO GET KITTY CLAWS' MIRACULOUS WHEN YOU COULD!

Despite the house being quite dark now, Scarabée could tell that Evillustrator was in alot of pain.

Scarabée, internally: FUCK YOU HAWKMOTH FOR PUTTING HIM THROUGH THIS!

Scarabée manages to find the stylus pen in the dark, break it in half, purify the butterfly, and use her Miraculous Cure to fix everything.

After Nathaniel turns back to normal, Kitty Claws pulls Scarabée into the usual quick selfie.

Then two then turn to face Nathaniel and Gerald.

They quickly noticed that Gerald was glaring at Nathaniel, as if he were waiting for the two heroines to leave them alone to do something.

Nathaniel refused to look him in the eye.

Scarabée: I was told by Alix to take Nathaniel to the Louvre.

Gerald: Wait a second-

Kitty Claws: Okay! See you around, Itty-Bitty!

Gerald: Can I talk to my boy alone for a quick-

Scarabée: Nope! Come on Nathaniel.

Nathaniel: O-okay.

Kitty Claws felt chills down her spine when Gerald put on a smile before walking into a bedroom she assumed was his.

Kitty Claws, internally: I know that shitty good parent act when I see it.

The two heroines left the house, Kitty Claws ran off before she could transform back.

Scarabée had enough time to drop Nathaniel off in front of the Louvre and swing away to transform back.

She then put on a pair of roller blades she had hidden close to the Louvre and starts skating.

Nathaniel, thinking to himself while staring at the Louvre entrance: I can't believe I actually considered her to be a bad friend. If anyone's a bad friend, it's me! She's probably so pissed with me right now... I wouldn't blame her.

Alix, skating closer while shouting: NATE!!!

Nathaniel, starting to cry: ALIX?!

Alix, tackling him to the ground in a tight hug: YOU'RE OKAY!!!

Nathaniel: Y-you're not mad?!

Alix: Why would I be mad?!

As the two got up, they noticed a very familiar face riding a bike towards them.

Alix and Nathaniel: Luka!

Luka, to Nathaniel: While I was on my break, I saw that you were an akumatized villain. Wanna tell me what happened?

Alix: We can talk about it after we're inside. I'm hungry and I doubt it you want me to take one of those pizzas from you.

Luka: Nate help! She's going feral!

Nathaniel, chuckling: Let's go inside.

Once the doors were opened, Alim Jalil and most of Alix and Nathaniel's classmates shout "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Nathaniel!"

Nathaniel cried tears of joy as he looked around.

Luka, ruffling Nathaniel's hair: Happy Birthday, Red!

Alix: Let me get out of these skates and then we can party!

Once Alix is in her room, she takes off her skates and grabs a neatly wrapped box.

After she goes back to the party the party, she immediately gives Nathaniel the box.

Nathaniel: What is this?

Alix: Hopefully something that'll clear up the misunderstanding from earlier...

Nathaniel opens it quickly, revealing a very expensive drawing kit that included a five thousand paged sketch book and hundreds of colored pencils.

Nathaniel, starting to cry: W-what...

Alix: Adrien got it for you. He wanted to give you something to thank you for getting him something for his birthday. We didn't wanna tell you because you'd feel bad about how expensive it is. There's also the fact that Adrien's shitty dad wants him to be just as stingy with money as he is... so if you DO post it on Social Media, don't mention his name.

After Jalil walked closer to them, Nathaniel gives him the gift to hold and hugs Alix as tightly as he could.

Nathaniel: I'm sorry I ever doubted you!

Alix: It's okay, Nate!

Jalil: Enough tears! Let's party!!

And for the rest of the night, they all partied as hard as they could.

For obvious reasons, Nathaniel stayed the night with The Kubdels.

Alim always had outfits in the boy's style and other stuff he needed to stay clean just in case he didn't wanna go home.

~~~~~~~The Next Day~~~~~~~

Alix Nathaniel and the others were in the Art Club when a new but familiar face walks in and up to Nathaniel.

???: Hey, Nathaniel right?

Nathaniel: Yeah, that’s me.

???: I heard about what happened yesterday with those guys from my class & wanted to make sure you were alright.

Nathaniel: Oh, I'm alot better now. You didn't have to worry!

???: It’s no problem at all. I’ve been having problems with them too.

Nathaniel: I’m Nathaniel Kurtzberg, but you already knew that.

Marc: Marc Anciel. *pulls out his phone and reads the message from his mom* I gotta go, see you around?

Nathaniel: Of course!

Alix smirks as she noticed Nathaniel's smitten smile as Marc left.

Alix: Looks like someone's got a crush!

Nathaniel: Speaking of crushes, can you explain THESE! *shows her pictures of her in Kitty Claws' arms on the ScaraBlog*

Alix, internally: DAMNIT ALYA!

Nathaniel, chuckling: I'm waiting!

Alix, chuckling as well: Don't hold your breath!

Not far from the Art Club, Chloé smiled happily as she also look at the Alix/Kitty Claws photos on the ScaraBlog while walking towards Sabrina.

Sabrina: What has you smiling so much?

Chloé, putting her phone in her purse: Just the fact that Adrien's being let out to go shopping with us!

Inspired by: @emdoddles @princess-of-the-corner @muggle-born-princess @dcschart @justanotherpersonsuniverse @symphonic-scream

#Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir #AUs #Scarabée and Kitty Claws AU #Chloé Bourgeois #Chloe Bourgeois #Alix Kubdel #Chloe x Alix #Chlolix #Aloé #Other Characters #Nathaniel Kurtzberg

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