next time you drop something — maybe a glass or a plate — and it shatters, I hope the person next to you says in a soft voice that everything is alright. I hope while you apologize profusely they grab your hand and calm you, and quietly pick up the shards of glass with a smile and tell you it’s no big deal. And I hope the child within you who fears brokenness hears this, and I hope you both carry that with you always.
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How do you say what can't be spoken
How do you describe the indescribable
What words are there when quiet prevails
How do we return what has been broken
Some moments are louder in silence
Moments where speechlessness abounds
It's like a car crash you can't look away from
The screeching of metal you cannot hear behind your own mirror glass
But it's a living memory you know will never leave
You're carrying something profound, this will forever roam
A looming memory that could never be defined by words in any dictionary
It's a heavyweight no combination of any language could describe
So I'll wait with you in the silence
Watch the wreck with you until everyone goes home
And then when you're ready to leave too
We can hold hands on our way home
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You are safe.
You are okay.
You can breathe.
Nothing is going to hurt you.
Your thoughts aren’t you, they are just thoughts.
You will be happy again.
That thumping in your chest will go away.
Your breathing will settle, just breathe.
You are okay.
You are okay.
You are okay.
You are okay.
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REAL LIFE IS UGLY
Everyday we face so many different situations
Sometimes we think that we are less lucky than others.
We look at other people’s social media thinking that “wow” they live a happy life. They are enjoying their time. And “ I am struggling right now”
We assume that we are suffering more than influencers or just people you follow on instagram.
I found that there is a big difference between real life, social media and movies/books.
Sounds obvious but let me explain.
With social media people mostly post good positive things because if you look like a mess and if you feel depressed it’s not what social media is for. You can’t show people that you failed. Or that you had a bad day. Or you ugly cry almost every day. If you show that then people would think that you are not a perfect human being, you are not coping well and that time when you posted that positive quote you are not following your own advice. Ha. Real life is much more complicated than that.
You can be mindful and meditate, and have a good support system and still cry and have bad days every week.
Because you know what? Life is hard. I am tired of hearing that when you have a good career then you will be happy. People can have good careers but they also can hate their job. Or that if you have good friends they will always be there for you. This is not how real life works.
In real life things happen. There are times when friends will help you. And there are times when they start having kids or something happens in their life. And you have to be on your own at the hardest days of your life.
In books and movies there is romanticization of bad communication and lack of boundaries. I am not saying this in all books and movies. But you get that idea that talking about your needs is silly. They have to guess your wants and needs.
There is this belief that if you have friends you don’t have to work for that relationship. It’s enough to just click with the right perfect friend.
No one tells you how awkward you feel when you tell your friend that you feel hurt by their words. Or that you feel like they devalue your experience.
Every experience that we see in the movie or read in the book has a different, real life version of it.
Real life is beautiful and ugly, really ugly.
It’s joyful but sometimes it's so so painful.
Shame, confusion, self-doubt, self-betrayal.
Ugly crying, self-pity, social awkwardness.
Being insecure, scared, lonely, codependent, sad and not feeling enough, imposter syndrome. Ghosting and miscommunication.
Guilt and people pleasing.
Trying to know who you are but also not knowing. Being scared to be who you are.
Being scared to show up. Sometimes being stupid and sometimes having smart insights.
Helping someone or not being able to help.
Having small tantrums everyday. Self-soothing with ice-cream.
Misspelling words. Making mistakes.
And failing everyday at something. We actually failed so many times but surprisingly we are still scared to fail every day.
Did you notice that when an influencer tells you that they are not good at something, or that they were crying or they made a mistake, or that they had any bad real life experience you actually feel better because they are just as human as you.
So I wonder what would happen if people started showing their failures more?
Fantasy world and the real world are too different. Your life is real life. At times it’s magical. At other times it’s ugly, imperfect, hard, lonely, messy and sad.
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