#yona being straight-forward
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Tenjou Renka: Kin no Oujo to Hi no Kusushi - 天上恋歌～金の皇女と火の薬師～
HISTORICAL, ADVENTURE
Tenjou Renka ~Kin no Oujo to Hi no Kusushi~ by Aoki Tomo
(6 volumes, ongoing)
JP only - English summary in this post
Links to my other manga posts here
I can't remember where I first saw this, but Tenjou Renka caught my eye a while ago with this cover. Look at it — it's gorgeous. Like I said in my Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch's Life in Mongol post, I've been really getting into historical fiction so this manga looked like something I'd enjoy. I'm currently reading Yona of the Dawn, which Tenjou Renka has some similarities to (ye olde Asia, princess on an adventure, etc.), and I've been having the best time! I plan to give my thoughts on that too, but there's a lot more content with that series and I've been taking my time reading it.
The full title of Tenjou Renka roughly translates to Heavenly Love Song ~The Princess of Kin and Medicine Man of Fire~. I was excited to read this manga because it seems we have a cool falconer princess with some lovely art! So, how did it do?
Twitter reading thread here. Thoughts after the summary.
***SPOILERS FOR VOLUME ONE***
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In the first few pages, we see a precession from the country, Kin, making its way to the allied country, Sou. Here we meet our nomadic princess, Aira.
There are rumors that Aira is to wed the prince of Sou... except she herself doesn't know this??? Awaiting the arrival of their allies, Sou greets them with a show of fireworks. Aira, however, runs straight over to one of the fireworks craftsmen and gives him a big old hug... before saying a word to the royals... when she's supposed to be an ambassador of sorts from Kin... and there are talks of her marrying the prince that's literally standing right there... uh...
What are you doing... She said, "I didn't get the chance to thank you! I'll never forget that night!" GIRL, YOU'RE GONNA GET THIS MAN EXECUTED!!! He's gonna get guillotined! He's gonna get the noose!!!!!!!!!!!
We go back in time a few days, and long story short, Aira and company got attacked mid-journey which led her to fall off a cliff and into a river. The fireworks craftsman, Hakurinshi (or as Aira calls him, Rinshi) finds her washed up. He takes her to his hut to treat her and her falcon. When she wakes up and says she needs to meet back up with her brother. Rinshi tells her to follow him so he can show her something. He lights a firework, which Aira had never seen before, and signals her brother to their location. Reunited, Aira turns to thank Rinshi, but he's already gone. Flash forward to the current day, she sees her savior and takes the opportunity to finally thank him... by aggressively hugging him... in that situation. *sigh*
If you see me spell something wrong, no you didn’t. Twitter, where’s my edit button???
Unsurprisingly, this is bad. Rumors start spreading, some Sou royals and citizens are not happy, and Rinshi gets called in by higher-ups to explain himself. Aira has completely fallen for Rinshi but ends up getting scolded by her brother Uju. He tells her to forget it and that Rinshi is from a different country and class. And he FINALLY tells Aira that there were talks of her being wed to the Sou prince, Kouou, but it's been tabled for now. (Why tf was Aira the last person to find this out?!) She's shocked at this information but Uju says that they wouldn't go through with it if she didn't want to. It isn't until she mulls over the new information and what she did at the palace does she realize, "Oh no, I was super rude to the prince and made an awful first impression!" ...UM, DUH?
*Deep breath*
Prince Kouou shows Aira and Uju around and he reveals that he's a two-faced jerk to only Aira just like I expected. (Aira, why didn't you tell your brother that Kouou wasn't to be trusted?! WHY WON'T ANYONE COMMUNICATE???) Apparently, he thinks the marriage is still on and that it doesn't matter what they want. It's their duty to go through with a political marriage if that's what's decided. Aira has to continue doing ambassador/goodwill duties for the next few days at the Sou palace so they'll be in town for a bit longer.
The last bit of volume one has the people of Kin falling ill from poisoned food. Aira is one of the few who hadn't eaten yet and was spared, thus leaving her to take charge and care for the sick. She goes looking for Rinshi for help since he was able to take care of her and her falcon before. What was weird to me was that she asked him to teach her how to care for the sick instead of asking him to come with her to where they all were. Rinshi is the one who said he was coming with to help, and Aira was surprised by this...
Instead of wasting time at his place learning how to play doctor, take him with you dummy!!! Also, the Sou palace knew what happened but they were like, "Oh no, it's getting late and it'll be morning by the time the doctors come to help!" DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE DOCTORS AT THE PALACE??? WHAT??????
The resolution to this section of the story was also annoying. Plus, no one was at risk of dying. They just threw up and felt sick.
Why THE HELL would you, the cook who prepares everyone’s food, including the Kin royals, use some random plant you don’t know??? Fire him immediately. This isn't poisoned food, this is food poisoning smh.
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***END OF SPOILERS FOR VOLUME ONE***
I usually try to give manga a few volumes, but honestly? I made it halfway through volume 2, skimmed the rest of the volume, and gave up. I'm going to mention minor spoilers here btw.
It doesn't make sense. The setup for the drama doesn't make any damn sense. I can't even be mad at Aira, at least not completely, because I blame her family/handlers for not teaching her ANYTHING before sending her off to be an ambassador and putting her in these situations! Literally, her handmaiden was teaching her things about the Sou royals she should've already known while they were at the Sou palace... Like... excuse me? I also don't like how there are info dumps.
Aira's handmaiden is teaching her info about Sou AFTER she just did a ceremonial thing at the palace. You should have taught her this stuff before!
We do find out that Aira's tribe recently won independence 8 years ago, so they're kind of "new royalty" but they should still know to tell her to watch herself in Sou. If there was some Sou custom they weren't familiar with that she messed up, or was awkward because she wasn't a princess from birth/comes from a more "primitive" country, then okay. But that's not what's happening here. I mean, even if you weren't promised to the prince, YOU'RE A PRINCESS WHO'S AN AMBASSADOR IN AN ALLIED COUNTRY!!! You didn't even greet the prince and king!!!!!!!!! That's just Manners 101!
And I’m a nobody!
I don't want to compare to Yona of the Dawn, but it's a little hard not to. I'm very early on in Yona of the Dawn (mid vol 5) but even then we see that while Yona is extremely naive, scared, and sheltered, she's not stupid. And in her case, she wasn't prepared for the events that resulted in her life being turned upside down. For Yona, it came out of nowhere. But for Aira, they planned to go to Sou. They knew this was happening. She should have been more prepared to do her duties as the princess of Kin, yet she fumbled it within seconds of her arrival at the palace. It doesn't make her funny or charming. It just makes her look dumb.
There are some parts that DO make sense. Aira being able to stand her ground adds up because she comes from a nomadic tribe.
Action scenes!
A lot of people in Sou, both noble and peasant, call the people of Kin savages/barbarians. Some nobles ask ignorant questions like, "I heard your people live in caves? Is that true? What, you can move your homes? How strange." And honestly, that's realistic. I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked if my family lives in tents and rides camels to school/work.
The start of the show here is Rinshi, hands down. He's known as the local weirdo who collects random plants and rocks and the like.
Mood, tbh. Throwback to my Yotsuba&! post about how me and my friend drove all the way from Tokyo to the Sea of Japan just to go rock collecting.
In reality, he's just a quiet guy with unbound curiosity. He wants to travel and see new things, learn new things, and collect new things so he can learn about those too. Rinshi wears tinted glasses to protect his eyes from light damage, which happens to a lot of craftsmen. But they’re are an unusual thing that no one's ever seen before and just adds to his "weird" status. I swear this man is ahead of his time.
Dreaming of all the cool stuff out there in the big wide world. I'm rooting for you buddy.
He also just seems like a genuinely sweet guy and would make for an awesome male lead!
The author, Aoki, clearly has a great love for Chinese history. This isn't even their first manga with this setting. On Aoki's Twitter, you can see all the research they do. They even get recreated armor/clothing to take reference photos!
Mad respect.
Remember kids, reference is important!
Tenjou Renka is amazing for seeing historical clothing and settings, as well as culture. However, I feel like these things take priority over the actual story.
We love well-researched historical fiction!
I was curious to see what other readers thought of the story, and while unsurprisingly there were people who really enjoyed it, some reviewers share my sentiment.
This reviewer is basically saying how Aira doesn't realize her own position/the situation she's in and just causes so many problems.
This person says that the girls feel immature/juvenile and it's a real shame because the historical aspects are well-researched.
But yeah, this was a title I was excited to get into, but it just left me frustrated and disappointed. I mean, listen — a foreign princess betrothed to the prince falls in love with a local weirdo and they both want to travel the world and learn new things? It’s so frustrating because this manga has the recipe… Tenjou Renka had so much potential, but the contrived drama annoyed the hell out of me. So much didn't make sense or could have been avoided, and that really soured any good it had. I can see a lot of people enjoying this, but unfortunately, it's just not working out for me. I would like to flip through the later volumes if only for the clothing and setting design.
Not even best boy Rinshi can make me keep reading. I hope you collect all the stuff your heart desires.
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If there's any Japanese-only manga you want me to check out, let me know! No promises, I'll only read what I'm interested in, but I'll take suggestions into consideration. Preferably, shorter manga or newer manga with a few volumes out since I like to take breaks from longer series I'm reading :)
#Tenjou Renka: Kin no Oujo to Hi no Kusushi#天上恋歌～金の皇女と火の薬師～#manga#manga recs#manga recommendations#manga discussion#shoujo manga#少女漫画#漫画#おすすめ
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I posted 24,543 times in 2022
That's 2,898 more posts than 2021!
88 posts created (0%)
24,455 posts reblogged (100%)
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I tagged 4,603 of my posts in 2022
#ans - 586 posts
#arcane - 572 posts
#spy x family - 547 posts
#fmab - 476 posts
#twisted wonderland - 317 posts
#obiyuki - 270 posts
#hakuouki - 158 posts
#akatsuki no yona - 154 posts
#a:tla - 115 posts
#bnha - 110 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#also i love the look obi and shirayuki give each other when she's like you must find your vocation. it's two adults just being like 🙄kids
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
WFB, Tanbarun arc: Obi meets the real reason she had to leave everything behind.
[Read on AO3]
Obi can admit: even after spending the day with Umbrella Corp’s heir apparent, even after knowing that Richie Rich couldn’t find his ass with both hands-- but in a nice way-- he hears the tiny tyrant’s little proclamation and thinks, what’s his game?
He may not be on the fast track to Summa Cum Laude, not like Doc-- and apparently this kid, if Daddy keeps paying out that Big Pharma money to keep his grades at the top of the curve-- but Obi doesn’t need any fancy academic distinction to suss out that Raj’s celebratory kegger idea belongs straight in the ‘godawful stupid’ pile. And with the quick way Doc goes bloodless at the offer, the air’s got that tangy Calculated Insult taste to it.
That is until he squares up right in front of this Timothée Chalamet looking motherfucker and is blind-sided by his bright-eyed, dummy wide smile. Despite the vibe in this room reading like the end of a slow-burn thriller’s first act, this idiot thinks he’s doing everyone a favor. The kid somehow took one look at Annie Hall here and thought that her brand says vomits Pabst Blue Ribbon as an extracurricular. There are times where Obi considers his past gold star failures and thinks he’s nature’s worst clown, but Shenezard-- Shenezard could fill a whole car.
“Raj,” Doc chokes out, looking like she’s two steps from a body bag. “That’s very...generous of you, but you don’t really--”
“No, no.” Between blinks, Raj springs forward, seizing her hand. “Shirayuki, you are the generous one, coming here after all this time to make amends--”
“I’m not,” she reminds him, steely, like the tooth of a bear trap. Or maybe the blade of a guillotine. “I’m here to present a paper.”
“--So you must give me the opportunity to be likewise magnanimous.” One hand may be taken, but the other’s free to snap, loud as a gunshot in the empty foyer. “Sakaki, see to it.”
His lawyer ventures a weary glance, closing his briefcase with a final snap. “Mr Shenezard, you know I can’t be party to providing alcoholic beverages to underage students.”
“Right.” His fingers snap again; the brothers passing by flinch. “Brian will take care of it.”
One of them-- the tall one, built like a linebacker with boat shoes that earn the name-- sighs. “Aw man, not again.”
“I told you, dude,” the other one mutters, pushing him through the doorway. “You can’t make eye contact.”
Raj doesn’t even bat an eye, just stares down at Doc, flushed with victory. “See? Simple. Get yourself ready, Shirayuki,” he warns warmly, “for tonight you will be fêted!”
*
Between Princess and Prez’s egos, there’s no elbow room for any other opinions on the frat’s event committee, but even still, Obi knows there’s some logistical issues to putting together a kegger in barely five hours. It’s the sort of thing he’d worry over if he thought for one second that Doc wanted anything to do with this half-assed excuse for a hook up, but she flees the scene the moment Raj gets distracted enough to drop her hand. It’d be a shame to get all heated when she’s already hanging out a window, escaping the only way she knows how: dangerously.
Real kind of Doc to save him the hassle; if he had to concern himself with her tender feelings, why, he’d barely have time to agonizing over what to wear. Since that’s apparently how he’s going to spend the hours between dinner and drunk o’clock: staring at his backpack full of clothes and hating every stitch on them.
It’s not like he didn’t bring nice stuff; Chief had briefed him-- and Big Guy, and His Lordship, plus a hastily emailed primer from the Big Boss with a rubric for sartorial formalities-- but he can’t exactly wear a sports coat to a keg stand. Maybe CEO Barbie could wear her designer pantsuit and not get a drop on it, but Obi doesn’t have the sort of face that can wear business formal like gym shorts. And the rest of it...
Well sure, jeans and tees would match the vibe; certainly be a step up from the early December board shorts he’s sure will be in fashion tonight, but it’s not-- not--
Hot. His Majesty said this trip would only be four days, a quick jaunt over state lines to see to it that Kihal’s momentary expulsion wasn’t in vain. Packing light seemed smart. He didn’t need to bait the hook when the only item on his itinerary was a poster session and an academic dinner.
He still doesn’t need to; his whole job here is to make sure Doc isn’t eyeing any third-story windows, not his ass. She’s six inches of leg and a drawer full of Victoria Secret away from being his type anyway, and he only came here because-- because--
Her hand had look so pale against the checkered tablecloth, so limp, like it hadn’t been held in years. Like she’d given up on someone being there to take it. He’d held it in the car-- still wet and clammy, a complete accident-- and even now it burns in his memory, the first warmth he’d felt since someone put five inches of cold steel beneath his rib cage. And stupidly, his first thought was, Doc deserves someone who would.
His second is, I’d like to be that someone.
It’s a fucking mystery why. Sure, he-- he likes her, in a real Disney Channel Original, baby’s first crush way, but this whole situation he has at Wistal is a glass shoe, set to shatter the moment he has a diploma in his hands. The last thing he needs is a reason to cling to the shards, expecting more than anyone wants to give him. Besides, he knows by now-- they could hug him and squeeze him and call hims George, but Obi’s the kind of guy who sees and open door and runs through it. There’s no point to being more friend than the job entails. Not unless he wants someone putting up flyers to find their lost Obi, at least. It’d certainly be a first.
“Right.” His palm scrub over his face, muffling out the rest of the world for just a second. That’s all he needs to remember what’s important here. “Just put something on, asshole.”
It’s a stupid thing to worry about. If these clothes didn’t smell like musty library, he wouldn’t even--
Something flutters, right at the corner of his eye. Not big enough to be a threat-- he can tell that right off, but it definitely didn’t come from his stuff. No, looks like it blew out of the trash, pushed along by the sudden burst of hot air from the vents. His mouth tilts, sliding right into a smirk. Speaking of flyers...
Phi Sigma Pi Crunch Time Kegger, this one reads; he has to squint to see the grainy oval in the center is just a photo-realistic barrel. $5 at the door. 8pm on December--
Ha, well. Look at that. It’s today. What a coincidence. Seems he’s not the only one concerned about what’s covering his ass.
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27 notes - Posted March 11, 2022
#4
The Opposite of Shame
[Read on AO3]
It should be easy.
That’s what Zen had said they paddled the last few yards into the canals, a stream of water curled onto his palm, shaping itself into a pearl, too precious to even touch. At least, easier than what you were doing, he’d laughed, letting it splash back down into the water, splattering into Mitsuhide’s lap. After squeezing water out of vines, a whole city of it should be nothing.
And yet sweat beads at her brow when she tries to coax a trickle from its slow currents, dripping from her fingers like a recalcitrant cat. Her boots brace against the ice, and she hauls, the way laborers would, pulling and straining and still-- it flops back down to the surface, swallowed up by ripples like it never left at all.
Shirayuki sprawls right back onto her rear with a huff. That’s what she gets, bending with only half her head. Maybe if she was still ho-- where she came from, she might have managed it. There was something about knowing every vine curled around her window and every plant in the streets of Ba Sing Se that made the motions come easier to her, that made bending nearly mindless. But here...
Ba Sing Se may have been raised from stone, but there were trees there, gardens. Little window boxes where grannies raised their kitchen herbs and children tended their mother’s flowers. In Agna Qel’a, it’s all...ice. Ice and snow and water a shade warmer than freezing; a paradise for a waterbender like her, one who had always hidden her skills lest some neighbor suspect she was the Avatar. Water was next in the cycle, after all, and to see a child with green eyes bend something besides stone would bring her before of the Fire Lord faster than the Earth prince could snap. Even the ancestors would be hard pressed to say what would happen to her when he found out she was simply mixed-blood, a waterbender wearing an earthbender’s face.
And yet this is not the safe haven she imagined, the home she had yet to find. Instead it’s barren, as cold and uninviting as Master Haruka. A woman need draw no more than a dram, he’d said, voice cracking like a whip in the temple. Any more risks being unseemly.
Unseemly. She gets her feet beneath her, letting her attention slide alongside a likely stream. Haruka’s voice echoes in the confines of her skull, What does a healer need that couldn’t fit in a skein?
Healer, he said; woman, he meant. How Kiki could come from a place like this, her bending honed to a blade’s edge, and yet its Master Bender could still say to her face-- impossible.
Her teeth grit, cheeks flushed. Zen might have warned her at least. He’d made this place seem like a refuge, like heaven, like home, and now not only does she have to worry after Haruka, but even Raj--
She can’t think about that. That’s the whole purpose of this: to not think about it. Another thing that’s supposed to be easy. After all, Shirayuki forgets things all the time. Meetings, meals, sleep-- it all fades away under the sinuous stretch of leaf and vine, her fingers reaching and stems rising to meet the motion, as easy as putting on a glove.
But that’s not what it’s like here. Not when it’s so cold that algae barely blooms. Hard to lose herself when every surface reflects her face.
“Lookin’ pretty serious there.”
Shirayuki concentration shatters, easy as a plate on a pub floor. The stream of water she’s pulled-- larger than she’s ever managed before, even if it still wiggles and drips against her control-- drops, tumbling back into the canal with a plop, big enough to soak her boots.
No, both their boots.
“Ah, uh...” She doesn’t know his name; a realization that pulls her up screeching a moment too late. They’ve only met twice, after all-- once when he tried to scare her off, and again when he caught her at Laxdo. Each time he’s appeared like fog off the water, disappearing just the same way, intangible and unannounced. “Sorry.”
Satisfaction glints like a knife’s edge in that man’s eyes, as if he suspected he might get this reaction. Or worse, meant to do it.
Well, that’s what he gets, anyway, coming up on her all unaware like this, a strange man in a strange city. He’s lucky she doesn’t have her plants, otherwise he wouldn’t have much room to be giving her smirks and sly eyes.
“Don’t worry about it, Miss.” His shoulders twitch, a distant cousin to a shrug, as he shakes off his feet. “I was asking for it sneaking up on a lady all alone like that.”
It mollifies her to hear him admit it. Just a little. “Here, let me at least--”
Her hand flicks out, ready to wick the water off him-- it’d be rude not to-- but he shuffles away with a laugh, his own warding her off.
“I said don’t worry about it.” His smile is wide, if not a little lop-sided. “You barely got me. It’ll dry off on its own.”
She frowns down, eyeing the waterline on his boots, wet splotches climbing all the way to his knees. He can say what he likes, but it’s freezing at the poles, and even dry he’ll still be cold. She should really--
Her teeth clamp down, keeping her protest locked behind them. There’s no reason for her to worry about a man that only shows up to cause her trouble. “What are you doing here?”
His grin sharpens to a point, through strangely, she’s sure it isn’t aimed at her. “My my, young miss. You may not wear a necklace like these water folk, but that question has teeth.”
She lifts her chin, stubbornly meeting his eyes. “Should it not?”
For a moment, he’s still. Not the way a person is, all hitched movements and stifled breaths, but the way eel hound does before they strike-- motionless. More like a statue than a living being.
And then his mouth splits in a grin, tongue clucking against his teeth. “And after I caught you in my arms, too. Folks just aren’t as grateful as they used to be.”
Shirayuki stares, confused. “Used to--?”
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28 notes - Posted July 29, 2022
#3
900 Followers: Pick Your Adventure
The pairings have been chosen, and now it is time for you to choose what you would like to see! Each pairing has four options, let me know which fic you like most for your holiday gift. Voting is open from today, 8/25, to Friday evening, 8/26!
VOTE HERE
30 notes - Posted August 25, 2022
#2
At Your Command
[Read on AO3]
Written for @kaedix‘s birthday! Kimber requested an Ella Enchanted AU, and I originally set out to write a canon universe one where Obi had the obedience curse...and I made something close to that, and yet entirely new as well...
The carriage pulls up right outside the alley; even in the street’s shadow it shimmers with shellac, like wet cobbles on a dark night. With all the hansoms that clog Port City’s arteries, it’s unremarkable, just another box among many. Save that it’s here, where no one with the money to hire a cab would be caught. And save that it’s arrived right on time, just as he’s been told it would.
A boot hedges out of the shadow, followed by a narrow limb, stretched enough to be part shade itself. The carriage merely waits, hunkering down at the alley’s mouth with all the gravitas of a fat tabby used to table scraps. It could play this game all day, its hefty shape says; could he?
He edges out the barest bit more, letting the light from The Beggar’s Barrel fall across the knife-sharp planes of his jaw. A tilt of his head sets one eyes to flash like a coin, stark beneath the low-slung band of his cap. A dangerous look, he’s been told, the kind that keeps bigger boys from trying to roll the one who’s skin and bones. That’s the thing about being skinny; all it takes is a good, feral grin, and only fools want to feel out your edges.
It gets the job done too; he’s hardly got his chin up from his collarbone when the door swings open, revealing an even deeper dark inside. “Get in.”
It strikes like a whip’s lash, the air knocked clean out of him. “Me, milord?” He gives a hearty laugh, making a good show of peering around the narrow alley. Good thing there’s not enough light to show him sweat. “You’re sure you have the right pl--?”
“You are Nanaki, aren’t you?”
His soles itch as he shuffles closer, trying to stave off the burn. Another breath or two and he’d find a long walk over hot coals more pleasant than standing here. “Today I am. Though maybe tomorrow I’ll feel like someone else...”
A shadow shifts in the dim of the cab, not small. “I have little patience for mummery. Hurry up.”
He’d likened those words once to a goad to an ass, but tonight-- tonight he has to catch himself before he stumbles. There’s not much pride in him, but what’s left refuses to meet his client on hands and knees, crawling up the steps like a cur. He’s got a reputation to keep, after all.
“Your wish,” he grits out through clenched teeth, taking those stairs in a single bound, “is my command.”
The inside is black as pitch and just as sticky, the shadows clinging to the corners as stubbornly as a stain. Still, he catches velvet beneath his palms, the cushion plump as any young miss, not the aching black lacquer benches of one of the city’s hansoms. Plain it might have looked from the outside, but this is no jumped-up merchant’s night out. Whatever money bought this is old, like the quarter itself.
He’d stretch his other senses to the task, but there’s no need; once the carriage has clopped and swayed itself to smoother cobbles, the shade snaps up. Lamp light pours in, painting the cab in gold.
Hardly necessary; this man is made of it. His business has never extended much to textiles-- too much speculation for his blood-- but the fine weave on that wool coat alone would fence enough to keep him well fed and warmly housed for a year, fingers firmly in pockets. That doesn’t even account for the linen of his shirt, or the brocade of his waist.
His fingers scour runnels through velvet. This man isn’t money, he’s a noble. No wonder even the barest command from that mouth sets him scrambling.
It’s not the first time a man more title than name has sought him out-- he’s got a reputation after all, a good one. A knife with legs, a man called him once, and he’d liked that just fine. A tidy little image; one that keeps the unsavory types from trying to stiff him. But this man-- this man looks nothing like those small, sniveling lordlings looking for a sure answer. No this one, this one--
This one could be a killer himself. If the calluses on his hands are a hint, he already was. Men don’t get ones like those from playing around in the training yard. This was a man used to fighting.
No, a man used to winning, unless he mistakes his guess. A dangerous sort to get in bed with, and a lethal one to get in business.
Well, let it never be said he passed up a bad idea when it sat itself in front of him. “Nice ride.”
The lord grunts, displeased. “Tell me how this works.”
His mouth itches the minute the words hit air. It’s not like this with everyone; most times he’s got a few moments-- maybe even a few minutes-- to dance around, to let them replace a strict order with a weaker one, maybe even slip the lead on the whole thing altogether. But his lordship here wields commands like a rider holds his reins, and oh, he’s not in the habit of letting a bucking stallion keep his head free.
“Well, I’m not sure of the mechanics.” His teeth flash, an effect lessened by the glare of the lamplight. Hard to seem so dangerous when all of him can be seen, black washed out to gray. “But the hitch the horses up front, you see, and then the driver--”
“Not the carriage,” his lordship snaps, brow furrowing like a thunderhead on a horizon. “They say you’ll do anything a man asks. Tell me how it works.”
There it is; the trap closes, and it’s steel teeth as far as the eye can see.
“Command me, mister,” he drawls, stretching his legs as long as they’ll go. It’s enough to pass beneath the bench on the other side, his lordship giving a censorious sniff. “And I must obey. That’s my gift.”
At once, the storm breaks, and with a terrible certainty, his lordship grates out, “No, boy. That’s your curse.”
It’s not that he expected business to be concluded in a rattling carriage-- that’s the sort of thing one of those merchants might do, the ones that want to curry favor with the First Prince by aping one step up on the food chain-- but he’s got to say, he doesn’t see the palace coming. A clandestine location sure, maybe even the guy’s townhouse if he’s got a misplaced sense of confidence, but most blue-bloods seem to know that you don’t flaunt your private problem solve right under the royal’s nose.
Then again, His Highness has been up wooing the North for the past few months. Turns out all those old ladies were right: when the cat’s away the mice will play. These ones just dress nicer and aim a little higher than stealing cheese.
See the full post
33 notes - Posted March 22, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
900 Followers & Holiday Gifts!
Way, WAY back in the early months of 2022, I got quite the influx of followers and this happened:
Which means that, as is traditional, I will be posting every Friday in December with fics of my followers’ choosing! And since last year was obiyuki focused, this year will be about non-Obiyuki pairings, including those from other fandoms! Which means I’m going to let you guys tell me what pairings you’d like to see!
From today, 8/21 to Tuesday, 8/23, I will be collecting pairing suggestions via ask! I will pick the pairings I am most interested in writing, and on 8/24 I will put those to a vote!
ASK AWAY!
33 notes - Posted August 21, 2022
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At first, Yona was like ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ“ I wanna touch you”
But then, she was like ¯\(°_o)/¯ “Oops i slipped my tongue, guess i have to avoid him”
#i want to touch you hakyona hak yona akatsuki no yona yona of the dawn akatsuki no yona manga cute shocking scene yona being straight-forwar#i want to touch you#hakyona#hak#yona#akatsuki no yona#yona of the dawn#akatsuki no yona manga#cute#shocking scene#yona being straight-forward#hak desperately wants to touch her#but he finally hugs her#hak is so uwu
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❝Secret Relationships.❞ Pt. 1
⌽Yona, Hak, Yoon X Reader
⌽Reader: GN
⌽Characters
➷Yona
➷Hak
➷Yoon
⌽Warnings
➷Suggestive NSFW
⌽Prompt/Summary: How everyone learns youre dating. Hcs.
⌽Notes
⌽Hak⌽
⌽This man (on your wishes) kept his mouth shut, but he wanted to brag about you really really bad. So why not speed up the process?
⌽I already know for a FACT this man would baby trap you if given the chance, so I mean purposely placing marks where you can't hide, when you both go off together.
⌽This man is a bastard, but you love him. He’ll tease the fuck outta you for no reason and this sets up suspicions.
⌽Who catches you: Yona
She’ll remain silent about it, but makes subtle remarks to making you embarrassed.
⌽How long you the secret last:
A month at best.
“Are Y/N and Hak like a thing?” Yoon whispered at Yona, making her snicker. You sat across from her besides Hak, both doing your own thing. “Im not sure, but Y/N and could easily answer your question! Isn't that right, Y/N?” You tried to keep a straight face and deny, but it didnt work, cause Hak started to jab you with the end of the spear.
“Answer the question, Y/N~ Go on ahead.” Rolling your eyes, you remained silent, pretended to be focused on the food or literally anything else.
“I would never. I have standards.”
“My pride.” Hak lurched forward, holding his chest.
⌽Yona⌽
⌽You both agreed it would be better to keep a secret, from a jealous Hak and a motherly Yoon, before he asked for a background check.
⌽Though this time you were both being careless and swear you almost got caught while playfully dancing under the moon.
⌽No one is suspicious when you hold hands or sleep near each other, because it’s been something you both normally did.
⌽Who catches you: Shin-Ah.
Yet didnt tell a soul, nor mention it to you both. You only found out he knew when he bluntly said it once you both were caught.
⌽How long it lasts:
6-7 Months, before Hak gets to snoopin’.
“How long!?” You sat in front of an angry mother Yoon and a jealous Hak. Not only did he lose a chance with Yona, but you as well. Doesn't stop him from offering to join your reaction ship, making several inappropriate innuendos.
“Six to seven months.”
“I knew when they first started.”
⌽Yoon⌽
⌽Yoon was the one who suggests your relationship remains a secret. He’s not ready for anyone to know.
⌽Literally dotes over you. Like how much he cares for Yona, but for you times 2.
⌽Won't hold your hand or hug you while the others are awake, but for sure he’s close to you.
⌽If you both want quality time alone, he makes sure everyone is asleep but is still hella paranoid.
⌽Who catches you: Hak.
Little fucking busy body. He’s shocked and immediately tells everyone before you or Yoon could stop. Proceed to lose eating privileges.
⌽How long it lasts:
A good year. Yoon was dead serious about no one knowing.
“You little fucking sneaks!“
“Maybe if you minded your own business!“ Yoon and Hak went back and forth, a tired sigh leaving my mouth as Yona giggled.
#yona of the dawn#yona of the red dawn#yona#Hak Son#yoon#yona x reader#hak x reader#yoon x reader#yona of the dawn x reader#yona of the red dawn x black reader#Kermis writes
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Just a Bite
Just a little something I decided to write before I’m unable to do anymore writing until the new year. You can read it in parts here on AO3 as I separated the POV changes into chapters. Otherwise please enjoy my one and only contribute to Hauntober with this Hak x Yona fic
Yona’s POV
The rain fell heavy that day. It was already becoming a busy and long one as I made my way to my second job. At least this one, I actually looked forward to: The Hiryuu Animal Rescue and Recovery Center. The founder was a big proponent of helping animals in need whether they were pets, strays, or part of the wild. His dream gave a sanctuary for all living creatures in need to find help. The staff is mostly made up of volunteers, much like myself. My hope was to stay on long enough to make it into a career to replace my current- and boring- day job. Stuck in an office all day staring at a computer screen was not where I thought I would find myself after years of schooling, but at least it pays the bills and I didn’t have to worry about needing a roommate to help pay the rent. Plus, the recovery center was close to where I lived so I could easily walk there on the days of my shift. Even on rainy days like this one, I didn’t mind the walk. With an umbrella in hand to help shield me from the brunt of the downfall, I walked along the sidewalk heading to the clinic. That is, until I saw something small and dark lying in the grass next to the edge of the sidewalk. The closer I got to it, I could tell it was a small, fuzzy animal, but it wasn’t until I was nearly hovering over it did I recognize it to be a small bat! With a gasp, I unraveled the scarf from my neck to gently pick up the small, delicate creature and swaddled it to protect from the cold chill of the rain.
Walking through the sturdy door of the clinic, I shook out my umbrella and shook out my hair of loose water droplets. My red curls became more unmanageable from the humidity as they hung loose around my face. I quickly made my way towards one of the stations to set my scarf still cradling the bat down on so I could hang up my coat. Pulling my hair back roughly into a ponytail, I stalked back towards the small mammal to assess the damage.
“Oh, you poor thing,” I clicked my tongue, seeing how malnourished it was along with an injury to one of its wings. Taking extra care not to do further harm, I put on a smile and got straight to work. “Don’t you worry. I’ll take good care of you.”
I proceeded with the usual initial tests until I heard the door chime open. I looked up from the task at hand to see a familiar mop of coral hair and bright blue eyes pop around the corner.
“Good morning, Yona!” he greeted me as he hung his wet coat. “Early as ever, I see. I’d swear you lived here had I not seen you leave yesterday after your shift. Whatcha got there?”
“Good morning, Yoon!” I returned his greeting as he walked towards me to inspect my station. His eyes widened at the sight of the tiny creature swaddled in warm cloths as I got him to nibble on a few pieces of dried fruit.
“Yona! Where did you find a bat?!”
I couldn’t help but giggle at his shocked expression. “I found him in a puddle on my way here. I was just as surprised to see him as you are now, but I couldn’t leave him out there.”
My finger gently stroked the side of his furry face as Yoon took a closer look at it’s injured wing. It was probably my mind playing tricks on me- or maybe just me being hopeful- but I could’ve sworn I saw the bat close his eyes and lean into my touch. Although, the thought was quickly disrupted as Yoon got into his “mothering” mode.
“Well, we will take good care of him and he will be out of here, flying again in no time! Won’t you little guy?”
I nodded to my coworker with a smile as he scooped up the bundle and took the bat to the back. Yoon always had a special healing touch when it came to the animals. I had no doubt that little guy was in good hands and would be fixed up comfortably soon enough. That was until a few minutes later I heard Yoon yelling from the back.
I hurried towards the muffled shouts and opened the door to the lab to see Yoon tending to a few bleeding scratches and bites along his hands.
“Yoon! What happened?!” I asked as I rushed to his side to aid him, worried about the sudden wounds on his hands.
Pulling out the antibiotics and swiping the bandages from his hands, Yoon glowered towards the bat.
“That little monster started attacking me after I set him down! I tried feeding him a bit more of that dried fruit and he bit me! So, I didn’t force it on him but the wound started bleeding. I go to cleanse the area so it wouldn’t get infected, thankfully I’ve kept my shots updated but I’ll still get some tests taken just in case he’s carrying anything, but I come back to take a look at his wing and he starts biting and scratching at me! Little cretin hung on tight and I thought I was gonna lose a finger to him!” he explained.
I looked over to the swaddle to see the fuzzy creature nestled in as if it was sleeping then continued to wrap up the task at hand- pun intended.
“There. Finished,” I told him then started packing away the first aid kit. “Keep an eye on those but definitely run some tests to be safe.”
“Thanks, Yona.”
I offered a warm smile and turned towards our little friend. “Now, what are we going to do with you? You were doing so well earlier…”
I approached him cautiously and found his dark, beady eyes blink back at me seemingly innocently. He didn’t appear to be aggressive or hostile, but Yoon’s hands backed his story.
“Please, be careful, Yona.” Yoon warned as I held out the dropped piece of fruit on the table.
“Come on, you need to eat and we need to take care of that wing of yours,” I cooed.
The bat started nibbling on the fruit piece and grabbed it gently with his tiny hand on his uninjured wing. While he ate, I got a closer look at the injured wing.
“Okay, Yoon. Tell me what I need to do.”
Time passed by as I followed Yoon’s specific instructions to treat the poor bat’s wing, and to both of our surprise without any fight from the tiny creature. Once we reached the end, I sighed in content at a job well done and packed the supplies away.
“I can’t believe he didn’t try to bite you or anything. I couldn’t even get near him after bringing him in here, yet he let you handle him without a problem.”
I just smiled at the cute fuzzball and gave him a tiny scratch below his chin just as I had done earlier.
“Well, I did save him after all.” I giggled.
Yoon shook his head. “Well, he’s going to need some monitoring and it seems like you’re the only one he will allow near him, but you won’t always be here, you know.”
“Hmm,” I pondered, thinking for a solution. “Well, if there isn’t anything else to be done here, I can always take him home with me.”
And that’s exactly what I did. At the end of my shift, I gathered my things then went to pick up my little friend to take him home with me.
“Ready to go, little guy?” I smiled at him through the carrier. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you!”
With bat in tow and a skip in my step, I hurried home to keep our exposure to the outdoor chill to a minimum. Now more than ever, I was glad to live so close to the recovery center. I wasted no time unlocking the door and rushing inside to be greeted by a rush of warm air fighting off the cold bite on my face and hands. Setting the carrier down, I shrugged off my coat and slipped off my shoes by the door, then picked it back up to head towards the kitchen.
“How about I make us both a little snack? Something to help warm us up.” I mused, talking to the bat.
I placed the carrier on the counter top and opened the little caged door to bring out the swaddled bundle. There was just something about this bat that every time I looked at him, I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’ll be nice to have a little bit of company around here,” I told him.
I pulled out some leftover dinner from the night before out of the fridge and popped it into the microwave, turned on the kettle, and grabbed an apple to slice up. Taking a slice for myself, I continued to cut the apple into smaller pieces to feed the bat, until the knife nicked the tip of my finger. A cry of surprise escaped my lips as a couple blood droplets fell onto the counter and too close to the bat for my liking. I cradled my hand and reached for some paper towels to wrap up my finger to keep from dripping blood everywhere until I can get the first aid kit. Before I could step away from the kitchen, I suddenly felt a heavy weight pressed against me and darkness obscured my vision.
The cut wasn’t that bad, was it? I never felt dizzy...did I really just pass out?
It made no sense to me because it was then I felt myself falling backwards. A squeak passed through my lips at the sensation but a hand cradled the back of my head, halting my fall. My vision returned to me as my mind finally caught up to what I saw.
A tall, intimidating, and attractive man with his body pressed flush against me stared down at me with eyes darker than the night with messy hair to match and blood smeared across pale lips. A quirked grin played on those lips, baring sharp prominent fangs. An audible gasp that I barely registered came from me as my breath was stolen away by the man before me. My heart beating rapidly and my blood pounding in my ears before I saw the exposed wounds on his arm heal in seconds. But nothing could compare to the silky voice that forced me out of my thoughts.
“Thank you, my Dear.”
Hak’s POV
The words slipped from my lips as I stared down at the petite woman in my arms. Curly red hair that framed her delicate features and bright violet eyes stared back in wonder and shock. Her blood called out to me the moment it hit the countertop and I couldn’t help myself, but it was all worth it. The sweet nectar glided across my tongue and I immediately felt invigorated. My strength returned to me and my blood pumped harder through my veins as if given another chance at life. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a taste of blood, but it had been far too long, weakening me to such a state that I relied heavily on this small human to nurture me back. It was simply the stroke of luck that she would cut herself before me. Carefully, I lifted her back up to her feet but her eyes never left mine. I could feel the darkness slipping away, the bloodlust retreating, the more our gazes remained on each other.
I moved back half a step but my hand cradling her head remained on her, sliding down to the back of her arm while her other hand stayed warm between fingers. The blood at her fingertips I had licked away clean, healing the wound completely. My gaze traveled to her lips which formed a soft “o” shape and barely moved as if at a loss for words or maybe unsure of where to start.
Cute.
“Bat got your tongue, Dear?” I chuckled.
Some small sound came from her in response. Maybe she was finally finding her voice again.
“H-How… W-Where….umm..” she cleared her throat but her eyes remained locked onto me. “Who are you?”
A grin stretched my lips further as I lifted her hand with a slight bow at my waist.
“Son Hak, at your service. And I am well pleased to say so.”
I lifted my head to meet her gaze again causing her free hand to cover her mouth in hopes to have muffled the soft gasp I undoubtedly heard. I knew then that the black of my eyes from the bloodlust was completely gone, replaced by a stunning pair of bright blue that always had quite the effect on both women and men alike.
Her eyes seemed to glaze over as if fighting with herself within her own mind. It was as if I could read each and every thought.
How did he get here? Obviously the bat. But that doesn’t make sense! What is he? Don’t be an idiot! You saw his fangs!
She obviously had a brilliant mind but human logic always wanted to fight with the unknown, the supernatural, the mysteries in this world even when shown plainly and delivered on a silver platter. It didn’t match up to their “science”.
I placed a gentle kiss to her hand still in mine, watching her cheeks flush her fair skin. “Does a name come with the one who saved me?” I inquired, raising a brow curiously.
She slowly withdrew her hand from mine before finally finding her voice.
“Yona,” she whispered before clearing her throat. “My-my name is Yona.”
“Yona…”
Her name’s like honey on my lips, a breath of fresh air, a pleasant buzz through my veins. I ran my tongue over my fangs, the lingering taste of her blood sent another jolt through my body as a sigh breathed heavenly past my lips.
“A beautiful name for someone just as stunning.”
Her blush turned a deeper red and a hand reached up to a lock of hair to mindlessly fidget with, keeping her eyes averted from meeting mine. I leaned in forward, closing the distance between us, my face merely inches away from hers. Surely, she couldn’t keep her gaze away now.
Her violet eyes hesitantly met mine, realizing the close proximity and squeaked in surprise before shuffling backwards until stopped by the counter behind her. I couldn’t help but chuckle, then stood back up straight.
My eyes wandered on her small frame taking in the subtle curves she tried to hide with the loose clothes practically draped over her body as if threatening to swallow her whole until my gaze fell on a subtle mark peeking from her collar and slightly hidden by her hair. No one would typically notice such a small mark, barely visible to a mere human if they were not looking for it, but I could see it clearly.
I took a step forward, my hand reaching out towards her. I barely registered her body growing stiff and the nervous gulp as she watched me with a hint of fear and uncertainty. My fingers brushed her hair over her shoulder and lightly touched the off colored mark, barely tugging at the collar of her blouse.
“Hey!” she shrieked and scrambled away from me. “What do you think you’re doing?!”
I stared after her, dazed and- for the first time in a long time- at a loss for words. It couldn’t be the same, could it? Maybe my eyes were just playing tricks on me. It’s been centuries, so there’s no way now we’d be reunited after all this time. Her skin was smooth beneath my fingers, not raised like a scar as I would’ve imagined had it been truly the same mark. What are the chances that this woman who managed to save my starved and broken self has merely a birthmark resembling the wound that took my true love from me all those hundreds of years ago? Surely much higher than I imagine, but I still can’t help but wonder.
With a gentle smile, hoping I wouldn’t frighten her further, I brought my hand back to my chest and bowed my head.
“Forgive me. This old mind of mine seems to be playing tricks on me.”
I looked up at her through my disheveled bangs and I could see some of the tension was beginning to leave her body. Her eyes searched mine for any deceit or further foul play, but she would find none.
With a soft clear of her throat and her eyes breaking her gaze with mine, she nervously fidgeted with that same lock of hair again and slowly made her way around the counter.
“I suppose it is getting late. Let me get some bedding for you. I’ll show you where you can stay just for tonight.”
My eyebrows raised in surprise, but I still followed her.
She would have a complete stranger stay with her? I couldn’t help but wonder, not that I would even be sleeping. But, that’s not something I had planned on telling her; she’s witnessed enough for one night.
For living by herself, she had an impressively sized home. It wasn’t grand by any means, but one would assume she would’ve had a roommate. Did she feel lonely within such a large space by herself? Or did she prefer having the extra room that didn’t seem to have ever been used?
I had found myself wondering more and more about this tiny woman who carried herself with an air of ease and confident independence, even if she was easily flustered.
“Well, here you go! I have some extra blankets set out in case you need them.” she informed me. “The bathroom is just down the hall and my room is just past that in case you need anything.”
As she turned to bid me good night, my eyes found themselves trapped by her violet gaze once more. A gentle flame that casted warmth to all who were graced by its tenderness, yet remained strong and steady in its fiery stature. Such strength and grace emanating from this tiny package that I was captivated and wanted to find out more about her.
If my skin could warm, I imagined I’d find myself blushing after breaking whatever trance I kept falling into by her.
“I’m sure I’ll be just fine. Thank you,” I said with a smile.
She nodded with a small smile of her own but kept her eyes averted from my own as if reflecting my own concerns to avoid an unbreakable gaze. As she passed by me, heading out the door, a wave of easiness and security washed over me with the soft scent of blossoms and honey. My eyes widened at the familiar smell but by the time I turned around, the door clicked shut behind her.
“Stop it you old fool,” I scolded myself with a sigh then turned back towards the bed she had put together for me.
I still couldn’t decide if she was too kind or too foolish.
Yona’s POV
I woke with a start, my heart hammering hard against my chest as if trying to escape.
What was that strange dream?
I tried to recall the details but there was only one face I could remember seeing clearly. Hak. I shook my head and rubbed my hands against my face. Surely, I couldn’t be dreaming about a man I just met?! A complete stranger, no less! That’s ridiculous. I didn’t care how drop-dead gorgeous he was!
Those stunning sapphire eyes shimmering with elegance and mischief paired with his deep voice would swoon any woman, but the smirk that danced across what looked to be smooth, soft lips told mysteries were hidden behind every gaze. However, it was the after chill I felt from where his touch had lingered as if my skin had been licked by ice after a hot summer’s day. The chill traveled through the rest of my body, leaving me breathless.
My body froze after those lingering thoughts, recalling the previous night’s events.
What is he?? Is he even human? And I let him stay the night?!
I threw the covers off my body and wrapped a robe around me before quietly making my way down the hallway. I came to the spare bedroom and placed my hand gently on the door to open just a crack. Peering inside, no one was there, so I opened the door the rest of the way. The bed had not been disturbed as if no one had slept in it. Surely, I hadn’t imagined all of last night as well? However, the stack of blankets I had set out assured me that none of it had been a dream.
A fresh aroma wafted past me followed by small sounds coming from the kitchen, so I headed in that direction to see none other than the man I not only unexpectedly met last night and allowed to stay in my house with me, but also apparently had dreamt about. I couldn’t help but gawk at him moving effortlessly about my kitchen as he cooked: an egg omelet with bacon, cheese, and other fixings he managed to find in the drawers of my fridge.
“Good morning, my Dear,” he greeted without turning to face me.
Did he hear me come in?
“G-Good morning,” I managed to say past the accumulated saliva from the delicious smells coming off the pan in his hands. “Have you been up long?”
I found myself taking a seat at the bar, watching over the countertop as Hak plated the food before turning to me with a smile.
“I don’t sleep much and I didn’t want to disturb you.” he said simply, but his smile seemed to hide more than what was vocalized. “Besides, it seemed you weren’t sleeping so soundly last night and figured a good breakfast would be a better start to your morning.”
I nearly gaped at him, but luckily my brain wasn’t short-circuiting like it was last night that I kept my composure.
Was it because I was dreaming? Gods, I hope I wasn’t that loud! Oh my- what kind of sounds was I making?!
I could feel the heat of embarrassment had made its way onto my cheeks, no doubt coloring my whole face a similar shade that matched my hair. However, he only chuckled as if he could read every worry I thought of.
“Don’t worry, my Dear. I’m sure it was only just a dream, nothing that should concern you now that you’re awake, right?”
His eyes held a hint of mischief as he winked at me, setting the plate of food in front of me, and suddenly I felt a rush of deja vu. Did something like this happen in my dream? Or maybe I was just missing the comfort of familiar company, but why would I feel so at ease with someone I just met, no less previously being a bat?!
I merely hummed a response with a nod of thanks before digging into the food. If the smell alone was anything to go off of how delicious I had expected it to be, it paled in comparison to the explosion of flavors covering my palette. How could a simple omelet taste this good?!
“Oh my god…” I moaned around the bite I continued savoring. “This is incredible.”
Hak flashed a brilliant grin at my praise as he watched me savor each bite I took. “I’m glad you approve.”
The way he leaned against the counter and his arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched with a hungry gaze, I could’ve sworn I had seen something similar before. The background seemed to blur and transform into a new setting I didn’t recognize, but instead of the bright overhanging lights I was used to, candles were the main source of light surrounding us. Everything around him seemed darker by the low light and antiquated as if from another time period. I don’t know how long I had been staring, but his voice brought me back into focus as he called my name and everything snapped back to normal.
“Yona, are you alright? Is there something wrong with your food?” His eyebrows were knitted with deep concern. No longer was he leaning back against the far counter, but now was leaning forward close to me, as if searching to see what was wrong.
“I’m fine!” I stammered, blinking furiously while I tried to figure out what the hell just happened. “Sorry, I think random pieces of my dream just keep coming back and it throws me off.”
I shook my head with a chuckle and finished the rest of my plate. Hak made a grab to take my plate, but I snatched it out of his reach.
“The food was delicious, but since you did the cooking, I’ll clean up. It’s the least I can do to say thank you.”
His deep chuckle resonated deep into my veins, a pleasurable warmth I hadn’t felt in years when I was with someone.
“Yona, you offered me a place to stay after treating my wounds. Cooking you a little bit of breakfast was the least I could do to show my gratitude to your hospitality.”
The way he said my name raised the tiny hairs on the back of my neck and sent chills down my spine, but the gentle smile he gave me simply melted my heart. How could I rebuttal that? My hesitation apparently was enough for him to take the plate from my hands then continued on to cleaning up the kitchen.
“You could always keep me company as I clean. Why don’t you tell me about that dream of yours that’s been troubling you, hm?”
I sighed before hopping back into my seat and once again watched him work while I tried to piece together what I could remember about the strange dream.
“Oddly enough, you were part of my dream.” I started without even thinking, which I regretted.
“Oh?” His voice sounded hopeful, yet teasing, and I felt my cheeks redden again.
If only I could get my body under control! What’s wrong with me?!
I cleared my throat and reiterated my meaning. “I only meant you were there, not that we- you know… did anything. Anyways! …”
I proceeded to tell him the random pieces I could remember. At times, it was just simple interactions between the two of us like we were doing now, but somewhere else. I’d explain as best as I could the details of what I could remember of each scene’s setting because some of them were beautiful gardens that made me long to visit, while others dark and terrifying that resembled much like a battlefield you would see in movies with blood and dead bodies strewn about. I would shudder recollecting those images, but felt a sense of peace as I retold the dream as if lifting a heavy weight from my heart.
I couldn’t remember the last time I really had such vivid dreams or even had told someone the strange dreams I would have the previous night. But with Hak, it was comforting. When his body faced me as he cleaned, I could see some surprised reactions, some even more distraught, and if possible, paling his complexion further.
“I’m sorry,” I chuckled nervously. “If this is too much, I can stop. It’s just the more I talk about it, the more I start to remember all the way towards the end which is what woke me up.”
I shook my head remembering the sharp pain and gasp of air, jolting me awake.
The tension I hadn’t noticed he was holding in his shoulders drops as he finished cleaning and turned all his attention on me.
“What happened?” he asked softly.
The gentleness of his voice ached my heart that I almost didn’t want to tell him. I mustered up a small smile in hopes to ease his worry.
“I was stabbed.” I told him as my hand moved toward my collar as if I could still feel it’s mark.
His eyes followed my hands, then widened before turning away and taking a deep breath.
“Hak? Are you okay? It was just a dream, everything’s fine!”
Hak remained with his back to me. Concerned, I hopped out of my chair and walked around towards him to gently lay my hand on his arm. “Hak?” I prompted softly.
After a few quiet minutes, he finally looked at me. Shock and horror painted his face, but in the next instant they were gone as if they were never there.
“My, what a terrible nightmare! To witness your own death would be dreadful.” His voice had changed to a false astonishment. “Luckily, it was just a dream. Like you said, everything’s fine now.”
Hak smiled at me, but it wasn’t the same as before. There wasn’t any genuinity in this smile. No, it was like he was trying to convince himself more than me that everything was alright. But I couldn’t understand what would have him so worked up over a silly dream of mine. The sight of blood clearly had no effect on him, but maybe it was the thought of something more gruesome?
I offered him a smile. “Right. Just a dream.”
Hak’s POV
No, it couldn’t be right. She can’t be. But her dream- no, her nightmare...my nightmare. How could she know of those details if they’re not in fact memories? Impossible. I saw her die right before me. The image still haunted me of her blood running down my arms as I held her until her last breath. The dark pool of blood surrounding us, her life force completely drained from her small body. They couldn’t be the same person… could they?
Yona assured me that I could stay in her home while she was away for work, promising she wouldn’t be gone long and that I should make myself at home, more comfortable, as long as I didn’t rifle through her personal things. However, I could not stay. Not after reliving those terrible memories she knew to be but a simple dream. I would not put her life in danger… not again.
I kept walking, past the trees and unruly brush as vines scraped and caught onto my clothing as I passed through. It was time I had returned home. It was foolish of me to think I was ready to leave. Apparently a few centuries was still too soon.
A sigh escaped my lips as I pushed open the heavy door of my old home- still dark, empty, and lonesome just as I left it- and headed back to my chamber. Maybe if I slept for a few more centuries, or maybe a millennia, I would stand a better chance at reinserting myself into the world once more. My thoughts continued their linear thinking as I opened my casket and walked in. Once I found myself comfortable, the lid sealed itself shut, encasing me in darkness once more and stilling those miserable thoughts.
Slumber took hold of me and I welcomed it. The darkness had become my solace, my peace, a place where I could forget the past. However, this time I was not as lucky.
Scenes played before me like a dream, something I had not been graced with for many years. It took me by surprise at first, but then I began to recall the events played before me as if I had been thrown back in time, to my own past.
I snapped my eyes open, putting a stop to those flashes of memories I thought I had kept locked away as darkness greeted my vision once more. My breathing had labored and I couldn’t help but wonder why now would my unconscious choose to start dreaming again. Was it because of her? Purple eyes and red curls invaded my mind as I wondered, remembering her pale, soft skin warm against mine along with her retelling nightmare, my nightmare that I had lived with so long ago and continued plaguing the deepest recesses of my memories. Could she have triggered this sudden occurrence?
I sighed and willed myself back to sleep, hoping for peace this time, to sleep another century or two- however long it took to forget this occurrence. Unfortunately, my wish was not granted. Memory after memory replayed before me, drawing me further in, deeper into my unconscious being and unable to force myself awake again. Trapped, I was trapped in my own mind by some unnatural force.
It was not to say each memory was terrible to relive, but it added pain to my heart each time the memory would come to an end, only to remind me that it was indeed just a flashback and something I could never regain.
“Hak? Hak! Hak, wake up!”
What was this? My memory recalled the current flashback as easy as if it had happened mere hours ago yet those words were quite misplaced...
The scene of my beloved peering into my eyes faded before me, replaced by a blinding light and a faint silhouette. Was I waking up? Who could possibly be in my home?
My eyes fully opened and focused on the being before me. Familiar curls and bright eyes looked back at me with a gentle smile once she realized I was coming to.
“Yona?” I couldn’t believe my eyes yet here she was.
“I remember,” she breathed. Her sweet, melodic voice coaxing me further to the land of the living. Her warm hand extended to cup my face. Such small hands… “I remember everything, my love.”
My eyes widened as I jerked forward causing her to take a step back, allowing me out.
“What? But… but how?”
Her gaze softened, a familiar look I hadn’t seen in centuries, as she led me towards the pair of chairs set by the covered and dusty window. Sitting me down, she sat across from me but her hand never left the comfort of mine.
“I’m not sure how,” she began explaining, “but after that first dream, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Once I returned home and found you gone, I tried to forget about you, but more dreams like the first kept happening every time I fell asleep. However, they were much sweeter and pleasant than the first one, and every one of them felt just as real. I couldn’t keep you out of my mind and I just felt like I had to find you. I didn’t know how, or where even to start, but something inside me just knew I had to find you. It was like my heart was calling out for you. As each day passed, it hurt more and more the longer I failed in finding you.”
She stopped and took a deep breath with her eyes closed tightly as if she could feel the pain all over again. I squeezed her delicate hand in mine, wanting to hear more and how she was able to find me. Her eyes flicked back open as she gazed back at me with such love that I swore my heart tripled its pace for the first time in a very long while.
“But then I had a dream of our last home, here,” she said with such reverence, looking around the room. It seemed as if she could remember every memory of us now the longer she scanned the room before turning her attention back to me. “That’s how I knew where to find you, and I’m so glad I did.”
Tears filled her eyes and I couldn’t resist reaching out to cup her face in my hands. I held her gently, searching her eyes, and I knew… I knew my beloved had finally returned to me after all these years.
“Is it really you?” I whispered, I couldn’t hide the emotion threatening to crack my voice.
Her cheerful giggle brought a small smile to my face as she nodded in my hands.
“Yes. It’s really me, Hak.”
I pressed my lips against hers hard, feeling the tears fall down her cheeks and tasting them between kisses. I kissed her, afraid that if I stopped then I would lose her again forever, that this all was just a dream, a figment of my imagination.
Her small hands pushed against my chest, begging for a moment’s breath. My blood pumped hard through my veins, a pleasant buzz rushed to my head, and all I could think of was this beautiful woman before me… and the fear of losing her again.
She could see something changed in my eyes that moment as her face fell.
“Hak? Why did you leave? Did you already know…?”
I shook my head with a sigh as I laid back against the chair. “No, not at first. I had wondered and teased the thought, but it wasn’t until that first dream- memory- that I figured it had to be so.”
I stayed quiet after that, but she wasn’t having it.
“Then why did you leave? Without saying anything?” Her voice was stronger, more demanding. That same fire I knew her to have even back then, that strong will of hers that drew me to her.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t risk putting your life in danger… not again…” I said quietly.
I never looked up, I remained in my spot, but I could hear her shuffling before me until I felt her sitting on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. I opened my eyes to her smiling face, a softened look in her eyes.
“Times have changed, my love. Things can be different this time around.” she said so assuredly.
“You don’t know that! I can’t… I can’t bear the pain to lose you again.”
Her palms squished my cheeks as she turned my face to stare back at the fire dancing in her eyes. “I won’t let you leave me. We have a second chance, Hak, and I’m willing to take the chance to spend another lifetime together.” She never wavered, but it was what she said next that I couldn’t refute. “Are you saying you’re not willing to do the same all because of fear of the past?”
Her eyebrow cocked at me, mocking me. I couldn’t help a chuckle. She got me there.
“Of course I’m willing,” I sighed, grabbing her wrists and kissing at her pulse points. “What wouldn’t I do for you, my queen?”
That brilliant smile of hers returned along with a more sultry look as she wiggled in my lap, satisfied with my answer.
“That’s more like it.” Her fingers thread through my hair and I could feel myself immediately relaxing into her touch.
Oh, how I’ve longed for her touch… Maybe she was right. The little bit of the world I managed to see had no resemblance to the dark times we once lived in. Maybe it’s not so bad out there.
Could we truly and finally have our happy ending? There was only one way to find out… and I planned on enjoying every second I was given of it.
#hauntober#akatsuki no yona#Hak x Yona#yona of the dawn#son hak#Yona#hakyona#bat#vampire#fantasy#au#BritKee#bmarvels#bmysterys
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Life After Snowpiercer: First Order of Business
Summary- 6.6k Curtis x Y/N. Dealing with the captured front enders, it's time for Curtis to make a choice in how to combine the people. You begin helping the Doctor, and discuss what options are available to you. Warnings- Mentions of death, assault, rape, abortion.
Chapter 9 / Masterlist
“Okay, explain it to me.” Curtis had his arms folded over his chest and a brow raised, trying to make sense with what the trains engineer was saying. The engineer opened his mouth to start again. “There is a battery that's been charging on the train, as the train moved it built up a charge and was stored. It's been going... what 17 years now?” The engineer shrugged his answer. “I can't begin to tell you how long it will last, but Im gonna guess a damn long while.”
“Why? Why would Wilford have a back up plan built on the train?” John asked from nearby, Curtis waiting on an answer. The engineer turned his gaze away from the imposing man in front of him to the other.
“Cause if the train ever had to stop Wilford needed a way to keep things going. There was emergency switches to turn off certain sections from receiving power and water, make it last longer. So you get to that box, and you can still control that.”
“Where is that?” Curtis questioned, thinking of all the times Wilford could have just cut the power on them. In fact he probably had a few times, recalling the blackouts in the tail end. If the train ever stopped, they would have been dead in days, frozen and starvation, dehydration. They would have just cut the tail end off and continued. “Your going to show John and cut off any cars still attached that were not currently using.” He instructed, and as they left, Curtis turned to the rest of the front enders waiting for his next move.
So far going through the surviving front enders was a bit tedious and Curtis could feel a headache coming on, a press of his fingers to the bridge of his nose did little to help his headache behind his eyes. He had been interviewing them all night, with questions like “What did you do before the crash, what skills can you provide.” General questions to how they could help the survivors, gauge where their loyalties lay. John and Johanna joined him in this, a sharp nod or shake no as to what they thought of the individual.
So far most seemed generally harmless. Scared, wide eyed, just looking for someone to tell them what to do. Curtis was pleased to find that it wasn't just the 'high class' front enders he had here for the most part. No, he actually got lucky enough to find some that had skills. People who knew how to work the plants in the greenhouse, some that cared for the animals that had actually survived, that in itself was a blessing Curtis never even suspected would have actually survived the derail.
A Doctor was next, a medical professional in the train that survived, and once he stepped forward for his questioning and revealed what he did, Curtis sighed internally with relief. “Doctor you say... good, we have immediate need for you right now.” He stated, turning to Edgar instructing him to bring the doctor to the injured when Dr.Price pulled up short. “Im not going anywhere with you.”
This set Curtis off, quick to cross the small space between him and the doctor, his eyes snapping at the man. “You will do as we say. We have a people in the medical rooms all needing attention now. We never had a doctor to care for us. The Nurses we did have no equipment to try and keep us alive. Wilford shot them both.” Curtis all but snarled out, his hand coming out to fist in the doctors shirt pulling him close, face to face. “Leaving behind there untrained daughter to keep us alive. So when I say go help the people in the medical car... I wasn't asking you, I was telling you Dr. to go treat the remaining people.”
Dr.Pierce’s eyes widened and he shook his head, not fighting Curtis, but still not willing to make the effort to follow through with his commands. “Listen, we have plenty of wounded as well, who Im currently helping.” Curtis looked over his shoulder at the frightened people cowering, just as they used to do in the tail end. Yes, these people weren’t filthy in the way they were, but the same fear rolled through the crowd, the same defiant eyes hating him just as he had hated Wilford. He loosened his grip and stepped back from the Doctor. Was he being no better then WIlford right now?
It wasn't easy to trust any of them with the remaining people, but they were now in his charge as well, this wasn't what he was supposed to be, another Wilford. Curtis set out to set the tail end free, not cage the front end. “How many are wounded?”
The Doctor was quick with his response. “There’s two with some serious injuries and minor stuff. I'm okay with helping those in the medical car, it's an oath I took before we lived like this. But I'm not abandoning them either.” Curtis looked over his shoulder, motioning for Johanna to join him.
“Get some people to move the injured into the medical area, along with anyone else Dr...?” Curtis arched a brow and Pierce filled in the question. “Pierce says need to go with him. Then ask everyone to meet me outside where camps set up.” They nodded and Johanna went to get a couple more people to help with the severely injured, another splitting off to help Dr.Pierce prepare the patients. Curtis turned away from the rest of the group, stepping out of the cart, leaving the rest behind for now. The sun just started to come up, and stretch it's light in haze's of pink and oranges across the sky, lighting up the sky. Would he ever get tired of this sight? No.
“What are you thinking Curtis?” Edgar came up next to him, the younger man was surveying the camps set up around the train, a bit anxious at what Curtis was possibly considering.
“We can't just keep them locked up Edgar... I’m going to talk to everyone at once, we have to give them a chance right? Fucking hell if I know, but you saw them. There's hardly any fight there at all. They are just as blindsided as the rest of us.”
Edgar didn't seem to fully support what Curtis was saying, his hand coming up to the back of his neck and rubbing at it, wincing from the pain in his back, it was hard to forget it was the front enders that had tried to kill him, another part of his mind that it was Curtis who turned away to continue forward. “They are from the front end, you saw what happened when Matt put some rifles in their hands Curtis. They were ready to kill us.”
“Its not like we came up with fucking picnic baskets wanting to be friends Edgar. They were just as scared we were going to attack as we were. Go let people know.” Curtis shut down the conversation for now, nodding to the man guarding the door as he swung down the train. Edgar did as he was asked, going to gather people up from the camp. Curtis went to go see where you were, and then meet up with everyone. Things we're going to be changing again. He prayed for the better.
You woke with a start, shooting straight up in bed to the barely there light streaming through the window behind your head. A glance around the small room let you know you were alone, and you twisted yourself to sit up. Already you felt better then you had yesterday, and curious as to where Curtis was, you started pulling clothes on, the last was his beanie he must have forgotten. Stuffing that on your head as well, planning on bringing it to him. Making your way out, you caught sight of Yona up ahead, the teenager picking her way towards you with a smile. “Curtis is coming up to get us.”
You hadn't really gotten to know the girl yet, but her eyes and smile were warm, and from the bit Curtis told you, he highly valued her opinion. Smiling at her in greeting “well then, let's go see what he wants, shall we?” the two of you heading off together, and once out of the sleeping section the train hollowed out for more people to be gathered. You found Curtis talking to individuals in passing. A wave of your hand caught his attention, and he finished up a conversation he was having and met you halfway. “I was just coming to find you.”
“Oh Yona said you already were... ?” You questioned with a look to the girl, who just smiled knowingly and gave a shrug.
“I’m gathering people outside... “ Hearing that Yona took her leave to go with the others. And Curtis led you away from prying ears. “The prisoners, you were right.They are just looking for someone to tell them what to do. I'm not going to hold them hostage, would make us no better then Wilford. I will make the consequences clear and any will be free to try there luck out on the ice.” You nodded slightly, looking up at him. You could see the worry in his eyes, the way it lined his features. Hard set in stone resolve, that stiffened his back. You pressed your hand against his clenched tension filled fist, and worked your fingers to weave with his. His hand finally released and relaxed in yours.
“Were not like Wilford, and we won't ever be that way.” Your hand squeezed in support and he visibly relaxed, some of the tension easing from his features. He had your support, it was all he needed. Reaching up to yank off his beanie from your head, you let his hand go with your other and leaned up to tip toes to put it on his head, giving him a peck on his lips. “Your a better man then Wilford ever was, we will get through this.”
Curtis gaze softened as he reached up to readjust his beanie, and dropping to run his fingers along your cheek. “You seem pretty sure of me Babygirl.”
“Of course I am Handsome, come on.”
Together you two went out to where everyone was gathered now, waiting to see what was next. Was it good news? Bad? It had them all on edge, unsure of what to expect anymore. Your hand rest against his back, and Curtis looked over familiar faces and unfamiliar ones.
“So you all know we have a car full of people, from the front end. Workers mostly, they tended to the people in the front, maintenance and such. We can't just keep them locked up, and forgotten. So those that want to stay with us can, they will help rebuild.” Even as Curtis got the words out, there was resistance, protests being thrown out. “What they ever do for us?” “Left us in the tail end to rot.” “say we just get rid of them.” Curtis’s brow furrowed and he shouted out “Enough! Does anyone have anything beneficial to say or is it how they were just from the front end and we should kill them?”
There was a sort of hush, then someone did step forward, a man you didn't recognize and suspected he was from another car. “Say we let them disperse amongst us back end people. Who's to say were not in danger from them? You going to excuse them or let us actually defend ourselves? They did just try to kill us yesterday.” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes but Curtis remained calm.
“They were following Matts orders and were afraid for there lives. Would any of you had reacted any different if roles were reversed?” He pointedly stopped and waited before continuing. “Were not going to tolerate any danger to ourselves... Or them, should anyone of us survivors kill one another, they are done. We're all that's left. There's no tolerance for murders, rapists or thieves.”
“And who decides? You? Are you taking over as 'Leader'?”
Curtis shook his head. “No, Im not labeling myself as leader, in fact I have given some thought, and a Leader just is like when Wilford ran the train.” You were curious, having not heard anything further on how they would proceed forward. “And if you all agree, along with the others, we will make a council. Someone from all the sections left.” Your hand rubbed assuring against his back, and there was a visual shift in the crowd, some who agreed, and some who didn’t. The rise in vocal yays and nays started to pick up, and somewhere in the back a argument broke out.
Edgar cussed out loud as he pushed through the group to reach where people started getting a bit physical, and Curtis hopped down to help break it up. You shared a look with Johanna who was next to you, and you decided enough was enough. “HEY!” you shouted in a sharp demand, and everyone stopped, looking up at you in surprise. “Cut the crap, alright? None of you can see the benefits of what Curtis is saying. Those people, y'all hate so much can keep us the fuck alive.” They looked doubtful, arms crossing over chests in defiance. “Can any of you properly grow food in a enclosed ecosystem, understand how this train works. Any of you know why the train is still running electricity or water? Fix up our people with actual medicine? Cause I sure as hell don’t. Hmm? Who knows what else. We're guessing here people, all of it. We've been stuck for the past 17 years scraping to just survive. How about we expand from that and start fucking living.” Johanna and John both came up side you for show of support.
“Curtis already explained the council, so everyone has fair representation, were not going to make them into anything less then equals, cause fuck they are just trying to survive as well. No, they didn't struggle like we did, they might have been given better accommodations from Wilford, can we blame them for what they have had to do to survive? Any one of us might have done the same thing given the chance back then if we knew.” Your eyes searched over the faces to see if anyone would disagree with you.
“And what about Matt? You just letting him go?” Someone asked. Your head shook out a no. “Right now, probably not. Not for a damn long time at least. Not till we're all sure he can be trusted. That would be a matter something like a council would weigh together and decide after discussing it with the group, that means all of us.” you breathed out, feeling the tightness in your chest just discussing your brother. “Curtis... I will be in the medical car if you need me.” Ending with having your say, Curtis nodded at you, his eyes flashing with worry for a moment, before turning back to the crowd. “Any more questions?”
You made your way through the cars, passing kids playing, older couples settling into new accommodations that didn't feel the need to attend the meeting, they would accept whatever at this point. And you finally came into what looked almost like a waiting room from your childhood, at the far end a curtain was pulled shut, just the shadows of people stretched in it's fabric. Working through the crowd, you poked your head around with a ''hey to see a Doctor working on Sara. Sara whom you tried hard to help, but now she was laid out, not in pain, she looked almost in bliss as the doctor looked up, his brows coming together. “If you have something urgent...you got to wait.”
“I was just coming to see if you needed help Dr. I have some training and I know a lot of the patients out there, my name is Y/N by the way.”
“Dr.Price, and I’m certainly not gonna turn you down on the offer. Go scrub up, and we will get started.” His eyes warmed when he smiled, and you immediately started to do as he asked, relieved to be of use again.
Curtis went to talk with the front enders, which it went a lot smoother then his previous chat went, all of them agreeing with the terms, and conditions. The people who ran the industrious food giving cars immediately went to there posts, along with handfuls of tail enders to help them clean up the mess the derailing caused, Curtis, John and Edgar organized teams to do some of the harder work. They had to get the dead removed, at least as quickly as possible from the liveable cars. It was something they had all avoided discussing, going car thru car to find the dead.
“What are we uh... going to do with them?” Edgar asked as the opened another door and looked in, looking at little green. Curtis was having a hard time with it, the heaviness of knowing these people would still be alive if he hadn't shoved his hand into the gears. The ache in his arm he figured was the least he deserved, his tone was clipped when he spoke. “Were going to have to burn them, it's the only way to get through this many people. If we just bury them under the snow, and it ever melts, they will just rot.” Having a plan in place, they got to work, dragging bodies wrapped in blankets away, someone finding gasoline and matches to light them on fire. It made for a long day. As it turned dark, the fire glowed bright as a beacon should there be any other people out there.
The lights flickered on in the doctors office as Price hit the switch, and looked in the waiting area. “Think were done for the night.” It was just the two of you left, and you perched against the examination table. “Not quite, Curtis should be by soon, and I really need you to look at his arm. Then there's me.” You admitted, your arm going around your midsection in a defensive way, and the doctor arched a brow. “Okay, what's going on with you?” He asked kindly, his voice made you relax a little.
“I might be pregnant, and I’m not sure if you happen to have anything for me, and some other women who might be in the same situation I am.” Your nose wrinkled to keep from letting yourself get to worked up, doing your best to keep this from turning into you crying in frustration, fear and trauma.
“Unfortunately Child, Tests went extinct a few years ago. But the best way to tell now is waiting for your cycle to happen. Do you have a estimate of when you start?”
You gave a shake of your head, time had been impossible to follow in the tail end. “No no... but I haven't ever missed before that I know of .”
“It’s the best way now, although not entirely reliable. If you don’t, then in the future I can do an exam for a fetus. Does the potential father know?”
Here is where your tears spilled and you covered your face in your shame, shaking your head. “There isn't a father, it wasn't consensual...” And suddenly Curtis came around the curtain, having heard part of the conversation, his arms immediately coming around you, rubbing along your back as you went from crying in your hands to his chest. His hand moved along the back of your head, holding you close as he spoke to Dr.Price, who just observed the interaction. “If she's pregnant and she decides to continue, then I would be the father.”
“Okay, if you happen to be Y/N, we are equipped to handle it in the way you should so choose.” Dr.Price started once you had calmed down, still tucked up against Curtis, but able to stay calm. “There are risks with either choice, so that's something you two will have to discuss. You should have any others come see me to, so I can talk to them.” Both you and Curtis nodded at him, and he reached down taking your hand in the very same way you had take his earlier, giving a light squeeze. “And for those interested... “ He looked directly at Curtis. “If you don’t mind spreading the word that I can do vasectomies to any that don’t want to risk it.”
“Yea, I will be sure to start letting people know. “ Curtis assured Dr.Price, rubbing the small of your back and on your hand you could feel him feathering his thumb back and forth over your knuckles. Dr.Price gave a reassuring smile to the both of them. He turned to a closet, and opened the door, stepping inside, and came back out with box of condoms, handing it over. “Use these for now. We do have limited amount of birth control supplies.” Your eyes widened as you took the box. “Like... actual prevention.” stunned as you turned the box over in your hands.
“Yes, I will only be giving it out to dedicated couples for now. There just isn't enough otherwise to go around unfortunately. Wilford had extreme rules for the front end. Every family was only allowed to have one child.” He said with some regret as he closed the door behind him, not offering more of an explanation as to what would happen should an unexpected pregnancy happen. “And they are damn old, so it's a risk, m'kay? Use with extreme caution.” You gave them to Curtis, nodding with understanding what he was saying. “So Y/N, just wait to see when your cycle comes, okay? We will know soon and you can decide where you would like to do from there. Try not to stress yourself sick over it. Now, I have an arm to look at?”
You tilted your head to look at Curtis. “It really needs to be looked at and cleaned up Curtis.” You move away while he went to shrug off his coat, and you took it from him. You bit your lip with a bit of anxiety while Curtis also reached over his shoulder and tugged off his shirt. “Just easier than trying to roll a sleeve up over it.” He remarked as he held his arm out. Standing behind Curtis, this had to be the first time you’ve seen him in bright light like this. And all over his back were little marks like scars. Nothing serious, but pale pink marks scattered across the spanse of his shoulders, and down. It tighten your chest seeing the struggles of their survival, how many times had Curtis been in pain and never said a word.
You really couldn't help in, your hand braced against his back and he stiffined a moment while the doctor looked over his arm. He glanced over his shoulder to see you sliding your hand, across his upper back, the tip of your finger tracing some of the bigger ones. He couldn't help the ripple of muscle that followed your touch and you pulled away, mouthing sorry. Curtis gave a light shake of his head. I missed your touch Babygirl, flashing you a smile before he turned back to the doctor finishing up.
“Let me tell you, your damn lucky. The scabs are keeping everything sealed up from infection. If any of them come off and it's an open wound, you haul ass here to me. You got it? No waiting. If any kind of infection settles in, you can easily loose your arm.” He twisted it a bit, and frowned at a few bright red spots that had some heat lining around the jagged cuts. “But just to be safe, Im giving you a shot to deal with any infection. I'm sure your white blood count is off right now dealing with this.” He prepped a shot for Curtis and you came around to see what his arm looked like. It looked so angry to you, all of it even hid his old scar from years ago. Dr.Pierce swabbed at Curtis upper arm and promptly gave the shot, without Curtis even paying attention. “well that finished that up, unless you two got more to fill me in on tonight?”
“No... I think that's everything I can think of.” You say and Curtis agrees with a subtle 'all good’ while putting his shirt back on, and taking his jacket from you, to drap over his arm. Dr.Price held out his hand, giving a firm shake to each of you. “Then I'm bidding you two good night, I'm exhausted and will be back in the morning. Y/N, if you got no other plans, I could use your help again. Curtis, I respect what your trying to do here. Good night.”
“Good Night Dr. Pierce, I will stop by tomorrow.” You assured him and all together you left, he turned one way, you two turned another. Curtis kept his arm around your shoulder, checking in on Yona. You leaned against the doorframe while Curtis made sure the girl was all set up, she had found a book somewhere and was struggling to read it to herself. It occurred to you she might only know the basics, making a mental note about seeing if she could help you with the orphans once you started to get in a routine. She would benefit from the lessons. “Night Yona" you waved your fingers at her and the girl did the same in a friendly manner.
Once you two reached the room, Curtis growled going in, rubbing at his face. “tomorrow I'm really switching our room for one with a bed.” You chuckle as you shuck off the outer clothing, and sitting on the edge of the couch to remove your boots. “Did everything else go okay?” You ask while toeing your boots off and leaned back against your hands, watching Curtis dig out his pockets. Apparently he brought a few cans with him. Dinner for the night to pair off with the jar of peanut butter Tam brought the night before. “It was... long. But everyone seemed on board after what you said, and let's just cross our fingers nothing happens tonight with anyone.” Using a knife, he started to pry off the top of a jar of fruit, and peeled off the top to set it aside. “We also started taking care of the dead, burning them several miles away.” His jaw tensed as he glanced out the window to see the red glow a ways in the distance, of it dying down.
Flicking his knife closed, he put it back in his pocket, and fingers closed around the box the doctor had given them. Taking it out and flipping it in his fingers looking at it. You had dipped your finger into the peanut butter jar when you saw it, unfolding off the couch and approaching him, biting your lip. “Did you ever use one before Curtis?” His brows arched at your question and gave a bit of a chuckle and quirk of a grin. “Yes, before the train I had, not a lot, I was just 17, but enough. They are not hard to use.” Curtis studied your face, the look of curiosity as well as tension and hints of fear. Giving a shake of his head, Curtis opened a drawer and tossing them in to shut them out of sight. “And you don't have to fret about them Babygirl, your not ready.”
You dropped your face to look down, picking at your fingers, Curtis slid his fingers underneath your chin to lift it to have you look at him, cupping your face in between his hands. “There's no rush Babygirl, whenever it happens for us again, it's because you want to and were ready to.”
You couldn't help the irrational thoughts swirling through your mind, and even though Curtis has already assured you that it wasn't the case, there was always that dark part saying you were ruined for him. “Its not because you don’t-" Curtis cut you off right there dropping a kiss on your lips, and leaning his forehead against yours.
“Not at all Babygirl, it wasn't your fault. I wouldn’t ever look at you any differently. Your still as beautiful to me as when we first got to know each other. Come on, get ready for bed Sweetness.” He said softly, and the two of you got comfortable for the night, Curtis turning you two to easier converstaions.
Weeks passed and just a few mishaps had happened, but nothing serious. There was still some tension between the tail end people and the front end, but much to Curtis pleasure, there were more people actually trying than not. A council did get made after some time, a fair representation of all the people. Curtis was chosen to represent the tail end, even though he encouraged others, you had found it quite amusing how shocked he was about the whole ordeal. John was the second tail enders choice, Dr.Price and a woman named Madison was chosen to represent the front end. So far the first order of business was what to do about Matt. And it was unanimous that he was kept locked up.
You became a permanent resident working with Dr.Price, seeing how the tail enders were still nervous about the doctor, and there health issues were various. You had convinced the other women who were in the end car during the revolt to see the doctor and talk about the attacks. Like you, it was all a waiting game, and it was a heavy knot in your stomach most days. Curtis would check in several times a day, pulling you aside as his eyes searched yours, and you would smile, tilting up to kiss him and assure him you were fine. That day you were cleaning up a scraped knee, the little boy sniffling as you rolled up his pants leg. “my name is Y/N” You tell him as you set your stool in front of him and pour some cleaner on a cloth. You didn't know him, so you figured he must be one of the other car residents. “Whats your name?”
A couple sniffles as he looks at his knee and a little miserable voice finally answered. “Tommy... but you can call me Tom. I'm getting to old for Tommy.” He said, trying to sound a bit tougher, and you were very gentle, dabbing at his knee to clean up the blood. It was certainly not as worse as it seemed, but you praised Tommy up. “Well Tom, this was a nasty fall. Your really tough.” You put on some antiseptic cream, remembering not to long ago you couldn't do this much, and here you were getting ready to put a bandage on a scrape, if only to make a little boy feel better. Tommy wiped at his eyes to get rid of the tears. “Really? I tripped when playing tag with the other kids.”
“Oh certainly Kiddo.” You heard Curtis voice behind you and a glance over your shoulder showed him coming around the curtain. “You heard Curtis.” You agree turning back to Tommy while un peeling a band-aid from the wrapper. Curtis heavy hands came to rest on your shoulders, massaging them while you attended to your patient. “In fact, tougher than Curtis.” You whispered to him, and Tommy’s eyes widened as they looked from you to the tall man standing behind you, in which Curtis was nodding in agreement.
“Yup, and you have the best nurse there is. She fixes me up all the time, and everything is all better afterwards.” You couldn't help but smile to yourself hearing him, sticking the bandage on his knee and rolling down his pants leg. “Okay Tom. You are all set to go.” You moved to a stand, to feel Curtis hand slide down your back to curve around your waist as Tommy said a quick thank you, and raced off, all fixed and ready to play again. Curtis chuckled watching the boy duck out of the car into the next. “Good job Nurse Y/N.” and you winked up at him, rubbing his chest as you leaned in his side. “I had a little help, what are you doing here though? I thought you were helping out with clean up.”
“Ahhh, I was, but I have a surprise for you. I came down to see if you were busy.”
“No, Dr.Price is doing some rounds on the train doing check ups, I was about to head into the kitchen to help out. But for you, I can spare... 3 minutes.” You teased as Curtis led you out. “Where we going?”
“Well Babygirl... A surprise means I can't tell you.” He smirked at you, his arms circled your waist from behind and he tipped his head to place a soft kiss just below your ear. You whined a bit to play back, reaching for his hands and taking them in your own, palms pressed to the tops of his hands, and weaving your fingers with his own.
“You can give me a hint Curtis.” you ask hopefully, just maybe he would give some clue as to what he had.
“Okay... Your going to really like it.” He teased as the two of you went down another walkway, and he pulled you two to a stop.
“You know, that isn't much of a clue Handsome.” You look up at him while turning to face him, your hands releasing his to cross over your chest, He looked so damn excited, that you couldn't help but bite your lip at the anticipation.
“Well close your eyes and I can get you ready.” He grasps your shoulders and turns you to face a closed door, making you snap your eyes shut and a hand went over your eyes. The click of the door sounded and his breath was warm when he whispered in your ear. “Okay take five steps forward and stop.”
You took five tentative steps like he asked, and the click sounded again. He removed his hand and said from behind you. “Okay... Open them.” When you did, you were greeted with a new live in room, so much larger then the last one, it was still all one room, but this had a large bed, with a window that stretched the length of the room giving a wall length view outside, and you spun on your heels to continue looking around. An easy chair that was for relaxing next to a table, nearby a door going into what you assumed was the bathroom, which you stepped into, your jaw dropping just a bit. “That’s an actual tub... not a shower.” You stepped back out, Curtis tilting his head with arched brows.
“You like this room? If you don't I can switch us back, we just finished going through this car and I thought that this would be a better-” he was rambling and you caught him by surprise, tugging on his shirt to drag him down, and your lips met his with excitement and happiness. You pressed him to back up to the easy chair which he fell back into and you straddled his lap, to cup his face and feather soft kisses across his face. “Its perfect, really. More than I could have asked for Curtis.” His hands rested on your thighs on either side of him, sliding his hands along the tops and over to your waist, holding you while his blue eyes for the first time in weeks seemed content and relaxed.
Your arms slid around his neck, and you leaned into his chest with your head tilting to rest on his shoulder. Curtis slid his hands just under your shirt, rubbing small circles along your hips and lower back. He was content, the best hes felt since that day of the Revolt. Besides sleeping at night, this was the most intimate you've been with him, and he wouldn't look a gift in the mouth. These moments Curtis had long ago learned to appreciate. His head dropped and kissed the hollow between your shoulder and neck. “I love you Babygirl.”
Your arms tightened around his neck a bit more when he said that. “I love you to Handsome.”
Cars away Edgar made his way towards where they were keeping the prisoner. His memories of Matt were few and far between. A boy who would play with him, doing races or climbing the bunks in a hide and seek with Y/N. It upset Edgar deep down that Matt no longer seemed to be his friend that he remembered. Now, he was just a tyrannical man, bent on bringing his friends to an end. He held up the bag of food to show the guard, and by passed the man standing at the entrance, flicking on a light to show Mat laying on his side, situated in a pallet Curtis had made for him. Heavy chain with a cuff circling his foot. They had come across the equipment in the livestock car, if it was good enough to keep an animal in it's place, it was good enough for a prisoner.
“Got yer food...” Edgar approached cautiously, and set it down, nudging it closer with his foot. Matt looked over his shoulder and pushed to sit up, pulling the bag closer and looking in. “Is there gonna come a day you all give me something real?” He pulled out some heels of bread, and chewed on it while Edgar sat away from him, working on opening a can.
“Until we are better situated, this is what we got for you. If you look there is some chicken in there to.” Edgar pried off the lid and was sure to set it further away, knowing it could easily cut someone should Matt get ahold of it. “Be fucking thankful, would ya? We don't have to give you anything. Let you starve.”
“My sister would never allow that.” Matt said with confidence, digging out the chicken leg and peeling the flesh off to pop it into his mouth. “Curtis though... Given the chance, he would. Y'all think I'm cold hearted. Well...” He shrugged, and Edgar frowned as he harshly pushed the can of vegetable over to him.
“Shut your fucking mouth, ya don't know what your talking about.”
“Oh don't I Edgar?” He quickly snatched the can before it could be taken away, Scooping out mixed veggies and shoving them in his mouth like he was starving. “How much do you really know about your precious 'leader of the tail end' ?”
Edgar snarled in anger, using the knife to press against Matt's throat and took back the can that was mostly gone and the bag that was almost empty now. “You don't even deserve to talk about him, after what you did. Helping Wilford, all those innocent kids y'all took.” Pulling away, Matt leaned back against the metal wall.
“What... just trying to survive? Cause none of us done that.” Watching closely, he could see he got Edgar flustered, the way he was picking up the stuff he brought and shoving it into the bag, his actions were more like jerks in agitation. Matt hid a smirk, having just laid his foundation in the young man's mind. As Edgar went to stomp out, Matt said calmly. “See you around Edgar... Tell Curtis and Y/N I said 'Hi’. “ Edgar shot a look at him, and the steel door slammed shut, leaving Matt whistling a child hood uplifted tune in the dark, waiting for his moment.
Tags- @what-is-your-plan-today @p8tn0lish @jtargaryen18 @stardancerluv @princess-evans-addict @patzammit @fckdeusername @that-damn-girl @curtisbbq @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @thatweirdwalangpake @simsadventures
#snowpiercer#snowpiercer fanfiction#Snowpiercer fandom#snowpiercer Curtis#curtis everett#curtis everett and reader#curtis everett x reader#curtis everett x y/n#curtis everett x you#curtis fanfiction#curtis everett fanfiction#curtis everett dark#violence#curtis everett violence#snowpiercer violence#chris evans character#curtis fic#curtis everett fic
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besides the fact that her haircut was a disappointment, what do u think abt mei nyan so far? i’m surprised how quickly i’ve come to rly love her, but once it started clicking for me that she used to be a general, and when she CHARGED at joo doh, i’m thinking damn she’s great. i know joo doh “teased for being unmarried” was hella stressed a half naked woman came straight out of a bath to kill him :D and i’m hopeful abt val, the fact that her old colleges clearly still respect and worry for mei nyan rly shows how good she was. it’s sad when i think that she worked hard to get that position, then chagol takes a look at her and goes “oh no actually i’m making u my mistress” and it’s gone just like that! it is silly that she’s still on castle grounds for ho-chan when she could’ve ran, but i rly think she’s desperately lonely, she’s hurt even by the fact that a stranger like hak wouldn’t come with her. even in kai no one knew she was sick
(Sorry for the delay, anon! My response is definitely colored by the latest chapter, just so you know.) I liked Meinyan long before she started swinging a sword around and canonically had the title of "general" … so like, from the very first chapter she was introduced in, lol. I liked that she was a wildcard who was challenging Yona's legitimacy as “Hiryuu” above all else. When we learned that she also suffered from the Crimson Illness, I was still pretty happy — she had a totally legitimate reason to be resentful, just like Suwon! Obviously she wasn’t gonna get what she wanted, but that didn’t mean her anger and pain wasn’t valid. I was excited to see her Fuck Shit Up unapologetically, even and especially if that meant getting in Suwon and Yona’s way.
But right now … well, I’m gonna sound a little mean, anon, but I can’t bring myself to care that much about her. Maybe that’ll change, but all of her scenes in the past four chapters that were designed to garner sympathy just came off as hollow and manipulative to me. We already had all the context needed to sympathize with her situation in ch. 202 and 203, but no, apparently we also need to speedrun to all these scenes where she’s beat up and fainting and weeping pitifully and searching for her cloying little animal sidekick. She gets a couple of rote scenes of Girl Power™ where she wields a sword and cuts her hair, sure, but she functionally has no agency after revealing her cards to Suwon. The Action Babe stuff is basically window-dressing to her character at this point, though of course this is the Not Like Other Girls Shoujo fandom so that's the push people needed to start liking her. I think it's shallow, but whatever — I guess it’s better than fans calling her a bitch like they used to. :)
Some people fear Meinyan just exists to make Yona and the HHB look good (hence the almost-slap) or to make Suwon look bad (hence the almost-murder), but I think her purpose is even more utilitarian than that. She primarily exists to motivate Hak and Yun to go get the senjusou(?) plant from Awa. Suwon’s condition was successfully being kept secret and Hak was unlikely to want to help just for his sake (he would, at minimum, have a lot more soul-searching to do and/or be motivated primarily by the quasi-hostage situation), so enter Meinyan, another descendant with none of the personal baggage Suwon brings. Yona’s concern over the descendants’ pain could exist without Meinyan, just as a connection to the Kai Empire could; what she brings is forward momentum to a stalled cast. It’s obvious in hindsight.
idk what role her general buddies or fellow concubine will play, but I’m not anticipating anything groundbreaking. Probably the worst thing that could happen is that she’ll be killed off by the disease to increase the stakes/give the HHB and her guy friends some angst, but I doubt Kusanagi will go there. I understand why more people like her now and I don’t begrudge them that, but the aggressive sympathy grabs in the last few chapters really killed the pathos of her story for me. Meinyan’s far from empowered and — at this point — far from motivated, as Yun has already kickstarted her change of heart. I love the kid, don’t get me wrong, but that just isn’t what I was hoping for with this character.
#Kumari answers#Anonymous#Akatsuki no Yona#Yona of the Dawn#Meinyan#Suwon#Yun#Now do I think the senjusou will actually help anyone in the end? Uhh *laughs nervously*#idk. but I think the series is winding down and that's why we're revisiting nostalgic locations#so yeah#Sorry if that's not the answer you were looking for anon#I'm just so fed up with this idea that Meinyan wasn't cool until she was a general (i.e. not ~really~ a concubine) and could kill a man#or that she wasn't sympathetic until she was brought to her knees#Also not super comfortable with how this series is framing terminally ill people in general#but that's an underdeveloped line of thought for another day#Kumari abuses the tagging system#Kumari procrastinates irl#Long Anon: The Anon That Is Long
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YONA GREENSPAN is a 21 year old FEMALE WEREWOLF, who looks a lot like SARA WAISGLASS. YONA spends time at Traceless because HER PACK IS THERE AND SHE LOVES OPEN MIC NIGHTS AT THE CAFE. SHE is known for BEING AN EXCITABLE WEREWOLF AND BANGING OUT THE TUNES.
Hometown: Nyack, New York
Current Residence: Traceless
Special Abilities:
Yona is a werewolf, and fairly standard as it comes to abilities. Even when not shifted, she is faster and stronger than she looks, and has particularly good stamina. She has relatively good control over her shifts, and only starts to wolf out when she is really excited.
It does not seem like she has any other special abilities due to being a werewolf. However, she is moderately convinced that if she keeps trying to test out various powers, she will find another one out. She has a list of options that she has eliminated.
Apart from the supernatural stuff, Yona enjoys and has an ear for music. Her aunt and uncle put her into piano lessons when she was little, and she spent a lot of time practicing. She can pick up a guitar and get some chords down, but she doesn’t really like it as much as keys and singing. It can be difficult to get her to stop singing, and she isn’t very quiet about it.
Character Background:
tw: death, death of a mother, neglect of child
Arielle Greenspan had a one night stand after a night out with a friend of an acquaintance, and promptly put it out of mind until she realized that she was pregnant two months later. Arielle decided having a baby would be a great idea, and proceeded to get fully into baby fever. Playing it by ear, Arielle had her little girl, and shifted most of her work to home. Arielle’s younger brother Joey, completely bewildered by the concept of children, asked bluntly if the dad was in the picture. The answer was no, and Joey did not get much more information out of his sister than that.
As for the child, she had a pleasant early childhood. While Yona would color within the lines, she had an odd way of doing it. Yona wasn’t stupid, but she never had the finest grasp on common sense. She was an affectionate, exuberant little girl who she loved following her mom around, leading her Uncle Joey to call her a duckling. Joey enjoyed being the fun uncle, but he had never imagined that he would need to be anything more than that. ‘Godfather’ was supposed to just be a formality- a title to say that you wanted to be there in the kid’s life, right? He never seriously considered that he would have to lose his older sister so soon.
Joey had literally just gotten married three months ago, and had been looking forward to child-free adventures with his wife Genevieve for the foreseeable future. And now he had to worry about a kid who couldn’t be trusted not to put a fork in the electrical outlet? He seriously considered what would happen if he put up his six year old niece for adoption, but after Arielle’s funeral, Yona pouted and wouldn’t let go of his hand for two hours, so he had to keep her. Surely he could still get to go on his adventures as long as he found a good babysitter.
Yona’s childhood and adolescence were a little odd. She was always left under the care of somebody when Joey and Gen got the traveling itch, but those were often eccentric friends that were clueless about what to do with a kid. Sometimes her aunt and uncle brought her along on their adventures, and she was left to roam around European cities untethered. Joey and Gen read exactly zero parenting resources, and they were proud of it. Most nine year olds don’t receive a vibrator for their birthday without explanation, for example.
As sex-positive an environment as the Greenspan home was, Yona was left to the mercy of the American sex education program for any actual guidance. Twelve year old Yona, brimming with questions, asked the teacher if it was normal for girls going through puberty to “grow hair in weird places, feel really emotional all of a sudden, and have your body start to change?” After vehement reassurance that of course this was normal along with some arcane-looking diagrams of the human body, it took Yona three months to realize that it was in fact not normal to change into an entire wolf once a month. Her uncle and aunt agreed that this was very weird, but Gen had always been really into learning about the paranormal and mythology in general. After taking Yona to several obviously fake psychics and to meet up with some guy on Craigslist that sincerely believed that he was a werewolf but definitely wasn’t, Gen had almost given up hope.
On a trip when she was thirteen, Yona started talking randomly to a lady in a pie shop (she loved chatting with strangers and her aunt and uncle rarely stopped her).. and the woman happened to be another werewolf. Since werewolves had a good sense of smell in identifying their own kind and other supernatural species, the stranger lady asked Yona some tentative questions. Latching immediately onto this random woman she had just met (she said her name was HJ), she had a very informational and oddly calming conversation. Only after sharing more information than you should probably share with an adult stranger and promises from HJ for help finding a pack in New York agreed to join her very first pack did she grab her Aunt Gen. Unfortunately, HJ didn’t live in New York, so Yona had to join a pack with a whole bunch of strangers instead of her chill new adult friend. And the new pack was pretty nice. Yona thought that being part of a pack was way better than having to deal with the painful shifts on her own in the backyard.
Getting to join her own secret grown-up pack prompted Yona to start acting out more. She stayed out late, threw parties at the house when her aunt and uncle weren’t home, and pulled some truly epic pranks. The weirdest part was that Joey and Gen didn’t seem to notice or care. She would skip school sometimes and nobody at home would even mention it. All she wanted was to be noticed. She played up how much alcohol and drugs she was doing (basically nothing), and her aunt and uncle completely ignored it. She tried sleeping with some okay boy at her school when she was sixteen, but felt gross afterward and decided for once maybe she didn’t want every speck of attention she could get. She had been planning on telling her aunt matter-of-factly about that, but decided to keep at least that much to herself. It took Yona a full year to figure out that oh, she was interested in girls instead. Something about telling a pretty girl that she painfully turned into a big gray wolf every month made her feel insecure. It didn’t help that Yona found herself absolutely infatuated with just about every woman she met. Some crushes were deeper than others, but her feelings always felt real, exciting, and devastatingly painful. From her perspective, love was both brutal and amazing, and she wanted nothing more than to find it- even if it hurt. Still, it took Yona another year to admit out loud that she was gay (so gay), and desperate. What really pissed her off was when she came out to her uncle and aunt, only for Joey to reply with a casual, “Yeah, we’ve known since you were twelve.” Well it would have helped if someone had given her a hint!
Yona moved out of her aunt and uncle’s as soon as she had her high school diploma under her belt, and tried to figure out what she wanted to do with herself. Apparently, her mom had been on track to be some sort of superstar consultant. Most of the estate was funneled into a trust set up for Yona. Uncle Joey had told her he couldn’t figure out how any of that money stuff worked, and had done what the financial advisor guy who was in charge of the trust told him to do with the money. Yona didn’t feel like a trust fund baby or anything, but it was nice to know that even if she messed up, her mom had wanted to make sure she was okay. A lot of the time, Yona wondered if her mom would have been proud of her.
After moving out, Yona left her New York pack on good terms, and bought a motorcycle. Her aunt had shown her how to ride (it had only led to two near-wrecks), and this seemed more cinematic than buying a junker car that stood a chance of breaking down to drive across the country. She had been accepted at a couple of colleges (she’d kept her grades up well enough in spite of everything), but did not feel strongly about going to school when she felt weirdly stuck. Her aunt and uncle had never felt like parents, and she fantasized about discovering herself out west. Riding across the country (and getting hella lost in South Dakota… how was she supposed to keep the two Dakotas straight?) was a formative experience. It was a good thing that she had werewolf strength and instincts because Yona did not get any less naïve through this experience.
Eventually, she wound up in Seattle, which Yona thought was a bit like New York through a puddle. She didn’t really know if she even liked Seattle (mostly she just didn’t get it), but she did learn that there was a super cool-seeming café that catered to people like her. Or, well, werewolves plus a whole bunch of other species that Yona had not given a thought further than “they exist” to. For some reason, the café people wouldn’t let her bring her motorcycle into the shop so that she could have it on the other side of… well, wherever she wanted to take it. Anyway, Yona decided that she liked Traceless pretty well, and also really liked the idea of getting in on those open mic nights. Traceless was a lot better than trying to get lost somewhere even more frustrating than the Dakotas, so she stuck around. She enrolled in college, and half by-accident joined a new pack. It was great! She got to see HJ again and actually be in a pack with her. A lot of the Bonfire Pack lived in a cluster of houses in Traceless, and Yona enthusiastically moved in one with HJ. To anyone that asked, HJ was her aunt, but they were also not related in any way. Her new pack was a lot more dysfunctional and much less organized than her first pack, but Yona liked it better that way. After about four years in Traceless, she was one term away from graduating in the fall term, and not sure what she planned to do with herself apart from pitching in around the pack’s camp.
(ooc: lisa, 29, she/her, pacific)
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Akatsuki no Yona Chapter 193 Thoughts
I don’t know how to feel about this chapter, all I can say is that it’s heavy...
The start of this chapter fast-forwards us straight into quite some time after Lady Yon-Hi’s lineage got exposed. Yuhon basically kills everyone that might expose her lineage to others, even the young priests like Ik-Soo and Kashi (even though we know Ik-Soo is not dead). Through this, Lady Yon-Hi finds out about Yuhon’s cruelty for his enemies, which eventually harms her own family, as her mother commits suicide over self-blame of the High Priest’s death, who apparently showed nothing but kindness for Lady Yon-Hi’s family. This is also when Lady Yon-Hi begins to start doubting herself, and probably also blaming herself of the harm inflicted on others.
We then see the young and cute Soo-Won, whom is apparently a child genius (he’s so utterly adorable omg). We also learn that King IL takes in a wife, which we find out later on is Kashi (I guess I was right in her being a key character in this upcoming chapters, even though I never expected her to be Yona’s mother). And omg, Kashi really looks so much like Yona, especially with those earrings. Lady Yon-Hi, again, begins to doubt and blame herself for this outturn of events and thinks herself naive for thinking that what Yuhon done could be forgiven by King IL and the priests. Then the chapter ends.
I think the ending of this chapter bodes the beginning of the possible conflict between Yuhon and Lady Yon-Hi, the reason why Yuhon didn’t become king and also the blossoming of the relationship between Kashi and Lady Yon-Hi. I really feel quite bad for Lady Yon-Hi, who had done nothing wrong; she just fell in love with a guy who gave her happiness and hope for a future that she has never experienced due to being stuck in the village protecting the secret of the Crimson Dragon and the illness.
I feel like she wasn’t wrong in trying to justify killing the High Priest (because he also gave me the creeps); tbh I think the concept of the High Priest naturally higher up in rank and demanding respect should be eradicated, although definitely not in the way that Yuhon chose to do. (Although I agree that his method ensured peace in Kouka, his cruelty was really way too much). I felt like if the High Priest was still alive, he might have tried to make use of Lady Yon-Hi’s family (seeing as how he deliberately went to them and gained much respect from them), and also possibly make Yuhon bow to him. But definitely, I don’t think he deserved the kind of death that Yuhon gave him, it was really quite cruel.
And again, this is probably why King IL hates violence, the conflict between his own brother and himself and the people he respects so much, plus his wife. I really wonder if King IL really loved Kashi, or was it because he wanted to protect her only. I also wonder the same for Kashi, if she did really love King IL.
I wonder what Lady Yon-Hi’s next step would be in the next chapter. I also really look forward to seeing the relationship between Lady Yon-Hi and Kashi, from my memories, I think the earlier chapters mentioned somewhere that they were quite close. Anyways, I look forward to the next chapter!
#akatsuki no yona#chapter 193#thoughts#spoilers#yona#Lady Yon-Hi#lady hi#yon-hi#yuhon#king il#kashi#dragon#crimson dragon#crimson illness#high priest#soo-won#ik-soo
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The Romances of Journey to the West
I have not read Journey to the West.
I know the basics of the story and from what I am aware it isn’t really romantic. At all. Sure it’s got some side plots where romance might be an element, but not in the main plot.
So why are there so many stories based off of it that one of the main focuses is Romance???
I do not know the answer to that question, and wont be trying to answer it (sorry????). Instead, I’m going to talk about the media I’ve consumed based of off Journey to the West and their romances. Enjoy!
I thought it might be fun to do them all in order of when I consumed them (especially because I plan to add to this when I realize something new is also a JttW remix), but I don’t actually remember what order I started them in so we’re just going with obviousness. Starting with the most “Well, yeah.” and ending with the most “wait what?”.
first...
The New Legends of Monkey
I actually never finished this one (how many times can I say that in this post, ha ha ha....), and it’s probably the one I’m least likely to finish (but I’ve got a compilationist in me so we’ll see).
It’s basically a straight forward retelling from what I watched, the main difference that I could see being Tripitaka’s characterization and gender. They made him a girl which felt like an excuse to add a romance between the monk and the Monkey King, though it only ever hinted at things as far as I got, so maybe it never happened (the tags on this gif suggest otherwise though). Tell me in the comments if you watched it I guess.
The acting wasn’t great and I dropped it pretty soon in, so I don’t have much else to say. They also made Sandy a girl, so maybe they were just trying to make it more diverse or something. IDK.
The Epic crush of Genie Lo
This book was freaking amazing and I totally recommend it (and the sequel, it’s a dualogy so both books are out, no need to wait!). It’s the only one I’ve finished at the time of making this post.
It’s kinda the outlier because instead of a romance between Tripitaka and the Monkey King it’s a romance between the Monkey King and Genie Lo (who I won’t explain her character because of spoilers). It’s super fun and interesting.
It’s set in modern day after all the events of JttW took place, which also makes it different from all the rest, and definitely not a retelling. It uses all the same characters instead of just the character dynamics and plot.
They could have nixed the romance because it’s not the main thing but it’s really enjoyable so I ain’t mad (but it’s kinda more important in book 2). Also a different take than all the others so, props to the Author.
A Korean Odyssey
This is the only K-Drama in the mix and I had to watch a few episodes to realize what it was. I’m nearly done with this one (started it in October and was zooming through but have slowed down due to NaNo). Another one I’d recommend (in fact, all the rest of them I probably recommend, tNLoM is the outlier here).
Out of the ones that are more obvious and use the same names, this one is the most different since it’s Korean instead of Chinese. Instead of Tripitaka they just use Samjang, and they use the Monkey’s title, The Great Sage Equal to Heaven, a lot more.
This one is also modern, but with the lore that they’ve dropped, is not set after the JttW but is the JttW, without all the traveling though. Also, instead of moving scrolls from point A to point B for The Merciful Goddess Guanyin (who hasn’t seemed to show up at all), they’ve been shoved together by The Devil King (who wasn’t as big of a player in JttW from what I know, but is one of the main characters in this). It’s very funny and emotional, like most K-dramas I’ve watched.
the romance is integral to the plot because instead of being trapped with a circlet that gives him headaches, The Monkey has a bracelet that makes him fall for Samjang and hurts his heart when she’s in danger. This causes much shenanigans which range from annoying to funny to heartbreaking. Good stuff.
Inuyasha
Into the Shojo! You may have heard that this one is Journey to the West-esque (If you run in those kinds of circles) and it’s definitely the most obvious of the ones I’ve encountered. I’ve only watched the anime (still working on it), so if the manga’s different, I didn’t know.
It’s got the five man band, the non magical Trip. character who sets free the Monkey character and the circlet analogue (aka “sit boy!”). Also, we’ve got an actual journey and a magical item that they need to protect and get to a specific place.
It’s both modern and set in the past (portal fantasy!) which is fun. Especially since her family gets to know, and she goes back for school every once in a while.
The romances in this are also semi integral to the plot (it’s shojo, what did you expect), and it’s quite enjoyable. It’s got comedy, action, drama, and cute romance. (Also, it’s randomly getting a squeal after a decade I think.)
Kamisama Kiss
I didn’t realize that this was JttW until after starting the manga, which I picked up after I finished the anime because it ended on a cliff hanger (I have some thoughts about that phenomenon too, but that’s for different and much shorter post). I really liked the anime and am making my sibling read the manga with me now. (they just corrected me and said I offered and they said yes, but saying I made them is funnier so whatever.)
Instead of being a cool monk or having the reincarnated soul of someone special, our Trip. for this one is just a nice girl, down on her luck who is given the divinity of a deadbeat kami who she saved from a tree. And instead of a magical item to bond her with the Monkey character (who is a fox spirit) they are sealed with just a kiss. (Hence the title)
The romance is semi integral, but oddly enough, I’d say less than in Inuyasha. Sure it weighs on their minds a lot, but the main plot is about Nanami trying to be a good kami and take care of her shrine, not her perspective love interests.
Fun show (and manga). Very goofy, cool world building, compelling characters, and good drama when it showed up.
and finally...
Yona of the Dawn
this one might be more believable than the last one, but I realized it later and feel it’s got slightly less similarities with the original source material. Another one that I watched all the anime and now have started reading the manga with my sibling due to the cliff hanger. (I’ve noticed more differences between anime and manga in YotD than KSK, not important, but interesting to me).
The monk is a princess in this one, and her and five man band are mostly reincarnations of dragons, which is why they join her party, to protect her like their counterparts did. They’re all compelled by ancient blood. Strangely, the character I’d ascribe to Monkey king is not a dragon and is only compelled by loyalty (and love).
It’s got the epicness, historical-ish setting, and the journey, but instead of getting a MacGuffin to it’s destination, they’re escaping death and trying to restore a kingdom.
Romance is very complicated in this one. Very compelling and I’d say on the more integral side. Affection and it’s many forms are explored along the journey. There are many dynamics and they all have their own complications. It’s good.
(also, I hope to cosplay Yona some day)
So... yeah. That’s it. If you got all the way through this, thanks.
#This post is really long#and mildly pointless#sorry#but also#you're welcome#I know that DBZ is the poster boy for this but#I have not read or watched#Dragon Ball Z#and I don't plan to#don't @ me#unless you want to explain the romance#then please do @ me#Journey to the West#the new legends of monkey#the epic crush of genie lo#a korean odyssey#inuyasha#kamisama kiss#yona of the dawn#I decided to write this because I needed words for Nano#and didn't know what to do with my story#thank you for coming to me tedtalk
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Soo-won’s fighting style
One thing I love about the akatsuki no yona anime, that the manga just cant provide is the fighting scenes- specifically the one between Soo-won and Hak in episode 2. Because im bored and this is the kinda thing i like to do let’s examine Soo-won’s fighting style shall we?
The battle starts off as self defense so it’s primarily blocking for the most of it. He raises his sword to block Hak’s with a fast and clean movement. Arm moving swiftly upwards catching his own sword to block Hak’s first strike.( Though in reality im pretty sure a move like this, especially from someone like Hak - would have cut - if not severed his hand / arm off.)
Hak breaks through this block after a few moments of struggling, causing Soo-won to swiftly jump backwards, only to block again. This time as well he’s using his arm / shoulder to aid the block losing him another limb. But! Its clear that Soo-won relies on his upper body and agility. He dodges most attacks, re distributing the force by giving in swinging counter attacks.
After this there is a break in the battle and when it resumes it is Soo-won charging Hak. His attacks are quick, with graceful movements almost like he’s dancing. Although he seems strained to keep up with the force Hak exerts, his actions seem to be easy. Well practiced and almost un-troubling. His body doesn't fumble, his concentrated face being the only sign he’s working to keep up with Hak. He seems to focus his strength in his arms, using his agility to dodge and then swing his blade around and down. Aiming more for Hak’s sides than his front. This is in comparison to Hak who’s attacks are force based, his blows more straight forward up and down or forward with retractions- swinging his glaive in sweeping motions and using the roll of his neck to re position.
Now this is where I think it gets really interesting. Soo-won takes a hit from Hak- injuring his right shoulder. It’s a good cut and probably would have made it impossible if not highly difficult to hold a sword. However Hak comes back at him and so Soo-won switches hands, now relying on his non dominate hand. The battle doesn't last much longer and while Soo-won’s thrusts after this become stiffer, his movements less concise. It’s clear he can weld a sword with enough strength even if it’s in his non dominate hand. Meaning hes just a bit ambidextrous.
It’s been confirmed in the fan book that Soo-won has more upper body strength and agility. So I just found it neat to see how the anime interpreted that. Anyways sorry for the long post.
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Can I request Zeno playing with a puppy?
i’m so sorry it took me so long! this was a really fun ask to fill, and i hope you enjoy it!
Fandom: Akatsuki no Yona
Word Count: 658
Zeno hummed to himself as he walked through the underbrush. The Miss was training with the Mister and the Lad had recruited the other dragons into a shopping trip in the nearby town. Zeno had been supposed to go as well, but he’d managed to slip away. The consequence now being that Zeno was… well… bored. And he didn’t really know what to do about it.
It’s not like Zeno hadn’t been bored before; his time wandering had afforded plenty of time for that. But since joining the Happy Hungry Bunch, his time alone had decreased to almost zero. In other words, he was out of practice at being bored. Zeno beamed and spun in a circle. Put like that, boredom wasn’t too bad. And—
“Grrrr,” someone growled.
Zeno stopped and looked around, and then down at his robes in fascination as they continued to moved around him.
“Grrrr.”
“Now who are you?” Zeno mused, plopping to the ground, bending his knees, and crossing his ankles. His robes fluttered, but fell awkwardly on a bedroll-sized lump.
Something yipped, and then a gray and white blur escaped his robes, holding them in its teeth and rapidly shaking its head from side to side.
Zeno laughed and leaned forward. “Careful, careful!” he chastised, taking hold of his robes near the wolf pup’s mouth. “The Lad’ll kill me if I ruin another set of clothes, even for a puppy like you!”
The pup gazed up at him with wide yellow eyes, but while its jaw loosened, it tightened again in the next second as it mouthed at Zeno’s robes.
Zeno sighed, and then slowly grinned. “You know… I don’t have to rejoin the others for awhile.”
The pup blinked.
“As long as we’re careful with my clothes…”
Zeno wiggled his fingers, and the pup yipped as it finally released him in favor of diving for his hand. Leaping to his feet to dodge the attack, Zeno bounded a step away, then another, and kept on going as the pup raced after him.
“Can you catch me?!” Zeno cried.
The pup yipped back, tail wagging hard enough it nearly tripped over its own overgrown paws.
Zeno laughed and, grabbing for the first thing he saw, threw a handful of leaves in the air. They fell around them, wonderful green targets fit for pouncing on and batting about. Soon enough, though, the pup snatched one out of the air and, not looking where it was going, crashed straight into Zeno.
The two of them fell back and hit the ground hard, knocking the breath out of them. Simultaneously, they decided it was better to lay there than try and get up.
“Good… time… pup?” Zeno panted, staring up at the leaf coverage above them.
“Grrrr,” the pup growled. This time, though, the growling stopped quickly and a wet, slimy tongue jolted Zeno out of his reverie.
“Eeeeww!” he groaned. Sitting up, he forced the pup down into his lap and glared at it—or tried to, because Zeno knew he’d never looked terrifying, let alone while holding back laughter. “What was that for? Were you trying to give me kisses?”
The pup growled once, then latched onto Zeno’s sleeve.
“You were totally giving me kisses, thank you!” Zeno beamed. “I appreciate the sentiment, though I could do without the slobber.”
“Grrrr.”
“Yes! Dinner time, you’re right!”
The pup cocked its head to one side, eyes wide and ears twisted just so.
“Well…” Zeno tilted his own head in thought. “The Lad probably won’t mind that much.” He stood up and took a few steps, then glanced down to make sure the pup was following him. The motion brought him eye to thread with his robes, and Zeno coughed. “Well… maybe you’ll cheer him up.”
And with that hope in mind, Zeno trotted home, wolf pup at his heels and muddy, torn robe flapping around his ankles.
Spoiler: the Lad did, in fact, mind.
#akatsuki no yona#Ouryuu Zeno#akayona#yona of the dawn#akayona fanfic#fluff#answered ask#maddyisenough#My fic#mine#fanfic
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Resolve (AO3)
Taejun has a long overdue conversation with his father and moves forward.
For months after Princess Yona and her group had left the Fire Tribe, Taejun’s dreams were of flower gardens, pavilions and guqin music. Sometimes he would hear his mother laugh, or his brother shout at him for doing something ridiculous, or even the steady but powerful voice of his father telling him about the people of the Fire Tribe.
Picking up the pieces of what his father had left behind was hard and Taejun found himself seeing his father every corner that he turned or asking himself how his father would handle a certain situation. Taejun had easily learned, he had not the strength of will that his father had, he had not the leadership qualities that his brother had and he had not the patient endurance that his mother had. He was just one small man attempting to breathe back life into his tribe.
And then Taejun dreams became those of blood and the falling and tattered Fire Tribe flag. He could see his brother screaming and King Soowon standing before his father’s corpse. Taejun clutched his arms to himself, and prayed. He prayed for the heart to stand such nightmares. Sometimes, his brother drew a sword and rushed at the King. Sometimes Taejun would let him, sometimes Taejun would hold him back and sometimes Taejun would jump in front of the King and feel the blade sink into his chest and blood climb into his throat and then his brother would look at him desperately and whisper:
“Why?”
It was impossible to not let his brother’s question nag him.
“In the time that I haven’t seen you, have you forgotten about your own father?”
Taejun wondered honestly if he had somehow failed to have the right reaction that a son losing his father would have. He had always been the odd one out in his family, the soft one, the stupid one, the child that couldn’t do anything right.
“Taejun,”
His father stood before him, his robes impeccable, as if he had never been stabbed, had never gone to war. Taejun turned to face him, dressed in his coarse and muddy robes, his hands caked with dirt and sand under his fingernails.
Ah, Taejun hadn’t had a dream like this before.
“What are you doing?” his father asked him. Taejun looked down, surrounded by freshly tilled fields, his feet sinking into the soil.
“I’m farming, father.” Taejun linked his fingers together, feeling nervous.
“Why?” His father frowned disapprovingly.
“To help those who are hungry. To help those who do not know how to provide for their families,” Taejun said excitedly. He was always eager to tell more people about his work, about what they could do to help as well.
“Where is your sword? Where are your proud fire emblemed robes?” His father hissed.
“A-ah! Don’t worry, they’re safe back at the headquarters building-” Taejun nodded furiously. He wouldn’t do something as stupid as to lose those!
“Why are you doing something shameful and stupid again? Isn’t it enough that you failed at seducing the Princess and that you dropped her off a cliff?” His father roared. Taejun flinched and stepped back. Taejun squeezed his hands together, trying to resist the urge to instantly agree to whatever his father was saying. He was conditioned to submit to his father’s angry voice at this point.
“I wonder if I can rely on you. Please protect the people of the Fire Tribe.”
“To give a task such as that to someone like me is the highest honor!”
“I’m not doing something shameful father! I’m h-helping these people! I’m helping the people that you failed to see!” Taejun’s nails dug into his skin as he raised his head to look at his father in the eyes. His father looked furious.
“What are you talking about?” His father was still shouting.
“You kept drafting soldiers and your people fell apart. You had no idea, father. So I am helping those that you couldn’t.” His entire being was trembling under his father’s terrifying gaze, but he stood his ground, as if his feet were sinking into the fields.
“Doing this won’t help these weak and useless people! You have to make the government strong! While you could be making the Fire Tribe the strongest tribe, you’re rolling in the dirt with sick brats and old men!” His father stomped his foot against a budding plant and Taejun cried out in distress.
“Father! You’re stepping on a plant!” Taejun cried out. “The people need every plant! You can’t do that!” Taejun rushed forward and pushed his father out of the way. He bent down and tried to straighten out the plant.
“What are you doing?!” His father snarled.
“I am doing what Princess Yona asked me to do!” Taejun turned and snapped back at his father, feeling angry. “Why won’t you listen to me! Just for once, listen to me! I want to help these people! Everyday your people are dying. I can’t be the one to look at what the future will bring! I can only do what I can now! Yesterday Jinyu gave birth to a healthy baby girl! But she has no money or food for her child! If I don’t do something now, her daughter will die in the span of four years! Father, have you seen a baby straight after birth? If so, how could you bear to abandon it to death? I will not abandon these people, father, even if I have to plow fields and carry the sick to doctors!” Taejun shouted. He huffed for breath as he finished.
His father was glaring down at him quietly. But it wasn’t the same glare he gave him when he did something stupid. The look in his eyes was cold and strangely it looked like he had properly heard Taejun. Taejun turned back to the plant and tried to put a stick against it to hold it up.
“Did you say Princess Yona?” His father said quietly. Taejun turned around and got to his feet. He was just his father’s height, he realized. But because he hadn’t looked his father in the eyes for so long, he hadn’t noticed.
Why hadn’t he looked his father in the eyes in so long? If he had, would things have been different?
“I did,” Taejun nodded.
“I see, so you have abandoned your father,” His father’s voice was like ice in his heart and Taejun’s eyes widened.
“No, no,” Taejun shook his head. “I would never abandon you, father! You are my father, the man I look up to the most!” Taejun reached out for his father’s hands.
“Then pray, tell me, why would you listen to the words of spoilt and ignorant brat that only takes up space?” His father asked flatly. Taejun froze, his hands mere inches away from his father’s. Taejun drew his hands away and straightened up, suddenly feeling the calmest he had ever been in his father’s presence.
“Father, you may never understand, but Princess Yona is not what you think she is. To me, she is the only Queen that I will serve wholeheartedly,” Taejun said firmly, clenching his fists and refusing to back down. “She opened my eyes and helped me see everything that I had ignored. I will do anything to help her and I will help the Fire Tribe with my own strength. I am no longer that ignorant child.”
His father stared at him for a bit and then frowned.
“I suppose anything I say to you means nothing?” his father, crossed his arms and Taejun smiled nervously.
“That is not true. You are my respected father and I have always sought to listen your words. I have always loved you and I always wanted to be like you. I chased after your back for so long. But father, you changed. You changed and left me, brother and mother behind.” Taejun’s smiled turned sad. “If you changed, father, then it is only expected that I am capable of changing as well. I...am my own person...I am not just your son...I am also Kan Taejun, the younger brother of the Fire Tribe General. I can make my own decisions and stand by them now.”
And before Taejun’s eyes, his father’s robes started to seep red and blood began to trickle from his mouth. Taejun’s eyes widened in horror and fear.
“Father-” Taejun started. His father held up his hand and stopped Taejun.
“You have changed, Taejun. You are correct. I don’t believe I ever raised you to follow the words of some child, but I suppose that is my own fault that I neglected your studies during your teenage years. I don’t care anymore what you do or what consequences befall your actions for the choices you have made are your own and have nothing to do with me, as you’ve made clear.” His father turned and started to walk away, blood dripping from his robes and onto the soil. He turned to look at Taejun one more time and small, blood filled, wry smile spread across his face.
“You’ve become strong. You are no longer that child that cowered before me. You have to watch your own back from now on, for I have nothing to do with you.”
Taejun watched him walk away and then his legs gave way and he fell to his knees, his chest heaving.
------o------
“Taejun sama?”
Taejun shot awake, gasping. Someone was outside of his door and calling for him. Taejun felt tears slip from eyes and into his hair as he choked on wet sobs and wheezed for breath. He turned and buried his face into his pillow. His pillow was made of low quality fabric and smelled of earth and lavender. The smell calmed him down.
“Taejun sama, it is late. Are you not coming to the clinic today?” It was Kilsung’s voice.
Taejun took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I am coming, give me some time.” Taejun pushed himself out of bed and dragged his hand down his face. He got up and quickly splashed his face with water from the basin and then redid the bun in his hair. Taejun clenched his fists and stood straight, squaring his shoulders.
“I’m going,” he said to his empty room.
Because I will not turn back, father.
#akatsuki no yona#yona of the dawn#kan tae jun#kan soo jin#sunny writes#aaaahhhh#will i ever get over the idea that taejun#talking to soojin might have changed everything?#no#will i ever get over taejun and family dynamics?#nope never#will i ever get over taejun in general?#yeah that's impossible#did zenoobsessed's taejun angst trigger this fic?#yes
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Links in a Chain
AU story, Canon divergence. 7-part short story, 1 part per prompt day. Each of them came from different backgrounds, but there was something that tied their lives together and, in the end, they learn how family meant much more than just by blood.
@thedragonsweek2019 Part 6- Day 6 Old Gen/New GEn
Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
This one is longer
“Hey gramps,” Hak points at the faded scroll painting hanging on the wall, “do you know what that’s from, even Yona had no idea about it.”
“It’s a cool painting,” adds Yoon, “it like one of those fairy tale fantasy stories or something.”
Mundok walks over, “ah the Legend of the Five Dragons, it’s an old tale that supposedly took place over two thousand years ago here in Kouka. I’m surprised you kids didn’t learn about it in history class.” Taking the painting off the wall. “Tell ya what, were almost done packing up this house, so when we get home, I’ll tell you guys the tale.”
It took them about a week to pack everything up, and six strapping young men sure made the move a lot quicker. Mundok made sure that anything of real value or sentiment was kept for Yona in the future, but he had made the difficult decision as executor to sell her family home and for her to move in with them instead. She understood, a house was just a house, but being with a family unit meant more. Mundok’s home was already bursting at the seams but in a couple of months a new room would be finished and until then she could stay in Hak’s room.
Once the final moving process was complete and they are hanging out after dinner, Mundok pulls out the scroll, laying it out on the table. “You guys ready to hear the story?” The group nods, some leaning forward, others relaxing back in their chairs. “Kija, you sure you can stay longer for this?”
“Yeah, I told them I’d be staying through dinner.”
Mundok sits back and crosses his arms, “Over two thousand years ago this place we now call Kouka was nothing more than a land filled with warring tribes consumed with taking control and ruling over the peoples. There was much bloodshed and chaos. From the heavens the Hiryuu dragon watched all of these events unfolding and it began to break his heart because he loved humans and wanted there to be peace. So, against the wishes of the other dragons he descended and took human form, even forgoing his powers to do what he could. Unfortunately, he was eventually caught and just before he was to be executed, the Hakuryuu, Seiryuu, Ryokuryuu, and Ouryuu dragons stepped in. They didn’t want to see their beloved friend die so they made deals with four warriors to take their blood and a part of their powers on condition to protect Hiryuu for all time.”
He takes a drink of water before continuing. “With the four dragon warriors at his side, Hiryuu was able to sweep through the lands and finally after many hard-won battles, united the peoples into one and Kouka was born. So, what do you guys think so far? Crazy or maybe it really happened?”
Hak scoffs, “these were probably just skilled warriors that the people called divine because they couldn’t explain how they were so good at what they did.”
“That could be true,” the old man nods, “it is often a human trait to attach such supernatural powers to those that seem inhuman.”
“Well I think it’s still cool to learn about the past,” Yoon smiles, “please continue gramps.”
Mundok grins, “I shall describe these dragons first starting with King Hiryuu. They say he had purple eyes that shone bright with kindness and a personality to match, and yet his wavy red hair was seen as a raging inferno to his enemies ready to burn them to the ground…” Suddenly the room fell silent as all head turned to young Yona.
“Whoa!” Zeno sits straight up in his chair, “you match the guy in the story Yona!”
“…Hakuryuu was physically strong with the power to crush his foes with his bare hands. But his hair was softer, like the white snows from the mountains and eyes as blue as a glacier’s ice reflecting the sky….” Now all eyes switched to Kija.
“…Seiryuu’s powers were the most dangerous of all for he could prey on people’s minds and drive them crazy. One look from his serpentine yellow eyes and the last thing they may remember is his blue hair swaying in the breeze…” By this point, the coincidences were starting to become quite eerie and Shin-ah shrank in his chair from the extra attention.
“…Ryokuryuu,” Mundok chuckles, “they say he was quite a character always sarcastic but very caring. He loved keeping his green hair up in a pony tail and legend has it his purple eyes were fond with the ladies…”
Jae-ha smirks and crosses his arms, “sound like a charmer to me.”
“…And finally, Ouryuu, the yellow dragon warrior with golden hair and a sunny disposition. He was beloved by his fellow warriors and Hiryuu for he kept their spirits up even under the harshest of times.”
Unable to take the similarities anymore, “oh, this is some crap,” Hak waves an arm at the others in a fit, “how come they get to look like some ancient warriors of heaven! Did you just make it all up?”
Yona places a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “it’s just a coincidence Hak, you don’t need to get so upset over it.”
“Yeah it’s just a story,” Yoon chimes in, “I ain’t in it either but I’m not mad. You can see 5 characters on the scroll too.”
But of course, the jokester of the group couldn’t stay quiet. “Awww, poor Hak. Maybe you’re the Prince who sweeps in and steals one of Hiryuu’s daughters,” Jae-ha grins and gestures at Yona. “We can call you the black dragon, since you’re always so moody.”
Mundok shifts in his seat expecting a fight to break out between the two boys. But Hak’s face switches from anger to contemplation. Bringing a hand up to rub his chin, “I kinda like that… black…. Maybe the darkness dragon,” turning and smirking at Yona, “yeah… the one who wins the Princess’s heart.” Groan erupt around the table while poor Yona is turning bright red.
“Okay, okay,” Mundok cuts in, “so basically, after uniting the kingdom, peace reigns, everyone lives happily ever after, the end.”
“Wait that’s it?” Kija questions.
“Well considering there wasn’t anything of significance to happen since then, what else is there to tell?” Mundok counters. “The rest seems even more farfetched.”
“We’re listening,” Hak retorts.
“Okay fine, they say that the warriors had lived on, that their blood would be passed down along the generations and that one day a reincarnation of Hiryuu would bring them together once more.”
“Tch,” Hak leans in, “old man what do you think this is?” Gesturing around him, “reincarnation,” he points at Yona, “four warriors,” he points at the other boys, “you think this is a farfetched?”
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wip // 9500+ words
As I stared up at the ceiling, doing my best to fall asleep, my mind raced and my back ached, a reminder of everything that had happened today. I closed my eyes and tried to quiet my breathing, but all I could see was twisted, mangled bodies and hear the screaming of the suffering.
My bunkmate hit my mattress with his foot. “Jules.”
I started. “Yeah.” I whispered back in the darkness, aware of the other sleeping bodies in the cramped room.
“You’re shaking so hard I can feel it.”
“Sorry.”
There was nothing I could do about it, though. I rolled onto my side, facing out towards the room, but even I could see my own hands shaking. I swallowed even though my throat felt tight and pulled the thin, scratchy blanket higher on my shoulders.
“Jules.”
“What.”
“C’mere.”
I didn’t move.
“Julian.”
“I’m comfy.”
“It’s one in the fucking morning. Stop arguing and come here.”
“I’m not laying next to you. Screw off.”
“You’re so cold you’re shaking the entire bedframe—“
“I’m not cold.”
He fell silent at that for a long moment. “Still.”
I let out an aggravated sigh and sat up. Swinging my legs over the side, I slid off the bunk bed to the cold floor, my socked feet immediately protesting. I reluctantly sat on the edge, wrapping the blanket around myself and avoiding his hands.
Not because I disliked him—far from it. He was the closest thing I had to a friend in this escalating war, in this crappy military fortress, in this rundown town with no running water.
I just didn’t want him to like me back. I didn’t want him to find out all the secrets I was keeping.
And physical touch increased that chance that he would hate me forever, or worse, try to protect me like I was beneath him.
I had gotten into this rag tag militia just as squarely as he had.
I absolutely, positively, did not want Hayden Cartwright to know I was a woman.
I heard him shift behind me, one hand brushing against my lower back. I tensed and pulled away. “Don’t touch me.”
“Would you relax for five fucking seconds? Yona almighty, you’re like a wound up cactus.”
He wrapped his own blanket around me, then settled back against the wall, his elbows on his bent knees.
“You’re picking up native slang already.” I cursed the fact my heart had softened by the simple action of lending me the blanket.
I didn’t have to look at him to know he shrugged. “Mm. Some of it is actually pretty funny to say.”
I arched my back, trying to feel less tight and relax my muscles. I slumped forward with a sigh.
“C’mere.”
“No.”
He sighed. “Really, Jules, just for a second.”
“No.” I said stubbornly.
Hayden shifted.
“If you touch me I’ll bite you.” I hissed.
“Kinky.” He smirked, but pulled away anyway.
Smart man.
Hot man.
Stop it, Julian.
“We have drills in the morning. You should sleep.” I started to shed off his blanket.
“Keep it.” He stopped me, pulling it back around me. “I’m a warm sleeper. Really, Jules.”
I wordlessly climbed back up onto my bed, drawing my knees to my chest in my best attempt to stop trembling.
I didn’t sleep much.
The next morning was rough. I stumbled around in a dazed confusion of bone-deep weariness; if Hayden hadn’t covered for me more than once I probably would have been booted out to do legwork or something equally as terrible.
Standing in line, my hands clasped behind my back, I didn’t dare look up a him. I kept my eyes straight ahead, fighting the urge to yawn or sway on my feet. Heck, I was tired.
I ended up getting delegated to check on the native people, specifically the monks in the east side of town.
Everyone hated that job. It was boring; the monks didn’t do anything exciting, or pay us much attention unless we got in their way.
However, at that moment, I was so glad to be on Monk Duty that I could have kissed the sergeant.
Some of the tension eased from my shoulders as I slung my bag over my shoulder. Mindless wanderings of the temple sounded like heaven on earth. Maybe I could find an alcove somewhere to cozy up in and catch some shuteye.
“I owe you.” I said apologetically as Hayden changed out of his sweat-soaked shirt for a cleaner one.
“It’s cool. I felt bad for you. Yesterday was rough.” He tucked his shirt into his pants.
“Let me know how I can make it up to you.” I rolled my neck, working out the kinks with a wince.
“You can make it up to me right now. Before you go.” He said seriously, combing his fingers through his short, dark hair.
I cocked my head curiously. “How so?”
Hayden smiled. “A hug.”
Every ounce of tension I thought had disappeared instantly came back. My fingers tightened around the straps of my bag. “No.”
He shrugged. “Well, that’s how you can make it up to me, so I guess you’ll just owe me for a while.”
I gritted my teeth, desperately wanting to throw a temper tantrum. He could have literally asked for anything else.
Of course he would go for physical contact. He knew how much I hated it, and wanted to shove it in my face.
Jerk.
“Later.” I whirled and stalked out.
The walk to the temple only made me moodier. I wanted to claw his face off. Or make him do pushups until he collapsed.
Or kiss him.
I shook my head, trying to dispel the thought. Absolutely not.
Striding up the steps and into the temple, I was awashed in quiet serenity. Distantly, I could hear some kind of singing. I headed in the opposite direction, wandering around in the maze of tall hallways. Large windows cast the stone building with strange shadows; that’s probably why I didn’t see him until I bumped into him.
“Oof.” I stumbled back.
Hands caught me by the shoulders, catching me before I crashed into a statue. “Please be more careful.” His voice was soft but stern, and I felt like a small child under the weight of his stare.
I brushed him off and straightened. His eyes, bright blue like a summer sky, darted to the gun slung over my shoulders. “Why do you bring weapons into a house of peace and worship?”
“Because not everyone is here for good mojo, buddy.” I crossed my arms defensively, not liking his piercing stare.
One eyebrow raised. “This is not a place of ‘’good mojo’’. It is a house of Yona, and I would ask if you be more respectful of it.”
Now it was my turn to gaze at him with disbelief. Usually the monks just sidestepped us and nodded to whatever we said. It was nice to see they all weren’t so brainwashed.
I grinned at him, enjoying the way he looked confused at my sudden change in expression. “Sure thing, squirt. So, where’s a good place to meditate and maybe fall asleep?”
The utter bewilderment on his face was hard not to snicker at.
“I-you-this way.” He sighed, and turning, started back down the hall where he came from.
He made no more sound than a whisper, but my boots thumped embarrassingly loud on the stone walkway. I tucked my hands into my pockets and tried to relax.
“You been here a while?”
“Five years.”
I cocked my head. “Excuse my bluntness, but you look more like a sheepherder than a monk.”
He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I hurriedly tried to explain. “You’ve got that whole wildly rugged lumberjack vibe happening. Not like, y’know, the stereotypical shaved head monk kinda thing.”
“We value diversity.”
“Huh. So like, only guys run this place or are there girl monks too?”
From his tone of voice, I could tell I was testing his patience. “There are no nuns here.”
He pushed open a door, exposing a cozy, simple room. Mats were piled in the corner and some sort of wooden shrine sat near the front of the room.
I wandered inside, fully aware of him hanging out by the door. “Cozy.”
I lowered myself down to the cold floor, letting my bag slide off my shoulders. He didn’t offer me a mat; I made no move to take one.
Closing the door, the man reluctantly shuffled forward to the front of the room. He lowered himself to his knees and gave a low bow, letting his forehead touch the floor. He mumbled some words that sounded suspiciously like, “Please don’t let me kill her.”
I rested my elbow on my knee, letting the rest of my weight ease back onto my hand. Once he had straightened, sighed, and turned to face me, I started bombing him with questions.
“How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-four.”
“Where are you from?”
“Thirty miles south of here.”
“What’s your name?” That was a question I should have asked him a long time ago.
“Rowan.”
I let that sit for a moment, turning the syllables around in my mouth. I liked it.
“How come you’ve stuck around and haven’t left me alone? Like my sparkling personality too much?”
My smirk faded from my lips at his words. “Because I was sure you would destroy things. Soldiers always do.”
As silly as I thought their religion was, I would never actively try to oppress it. Sorrow replaced my cockiness, and I shifted into a cross-legged position, something that felt more open. “I’m sorry I gave off that impression. Frankly, I think your religion is silly, but I would never do something like that. I’m sorry it’s happened to you.”
My words and change in posture had captured his attention. He continued to watch me with suspicion, though.
The cold from the floor was seeping into my bones, but I had this urge to not appear weak in front of him. I kept my mouth shut about it and changed the subject. “So what’s your favorite thing about being a monk?”
“The peace and quiet.” He said pointedly.
I grinned. “Not something you’ll experience with me around. So what’s your least favorite thing?”
“That I regularly see people lie about serious matters.”
That scraped against my conscience. I forced my face to remain neutral. “I’m sure that would be hard.”
He angled his head in a way I didn’t know how to interpret. “Have something to confess?”
“Negative.” I said easily, burying the twinge. “Clean as a whistle. So, do you have family outside of here?”
“I have cut off all ties when I joined the monastery.”
I frowned. “That’s so sad.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
Somehow I got the impression he didn’t want to talk about it. I was about to ask him something else, until I realized that up until this point, I had been doing all the work. He hadn’t said anything else other than to reply to my questions.
That was a hard hit to my ego. I closed my mouth and shifted, back into a closed, protective position.
Things were quiet for a moment; Rowan tucked his hands into the sleeves of his dark grey robe, and I started cleaning my gun even though it was in top shape.
“You don’t have to stay.” I said quietly. “I’m not going to wreck your home.”
“I have no duties to attend to.”
“For real though. I kind of just want to sleep.”
He didn’t say anything.
Fine then. Be that way. Screw being at least polite.
I dragged my things to the opposite side of the room, near the door. My fingers curled around my gun as I rested my head against the wall. Rowan continued to ignore me.
“Just because you’re a monk, doesn’t mean you have zero social skills.”
“I have plenty of social skills. I don’t feel like wasting my breath on you.”
That stung.
It reminded me of the other times I had been ostracized from the squad. Because I was smaller and couldn’t physically carry as much. Because I didn’t strip around the others, I was labeled with demeaning terms.
It felt like a slap in the face.
It was understandable I wouldn’t get along with everyone in my squad. As long as we didn’t leave anyone behind, who cared what our real relationship was like.
But I couldn’t even get a supposedly peaceful, warmhearted nut to like me.
I stared at the ceiling, willing the tears that blurred my eyes and burned my nose to go away. Closing my eyes was a mistake; the tears spilled down my cheeks. Moving to wipe them away would draw attention. Sniffling would get his attention.
The last thing I wanted was for the jerk on the other side of the room to know he had made me cry.
“Why are you crying?”
Great.
“Shut the fuck up.” I gritted my teeth and swiped at my face.
He rose to his feet and started walking towards me. Before I had really realized it, my gun was aimed at his head, my finger on the trigger.
“Don’t you dare come any closer.” I said hoarsely. “I will spray your brains all over your stupid shrine.”
Rowan paused, his hands raised in a sign of surrender, his eyes trained on me with so much intent that I wanted to just shoot him anyway. I felt four times smaller; I tightened my grip.
I probably looked like a lunatic; a small soldier, tears on his face, holding a gun to a monk’s head.
Who cared what I looked like. All I knew was that my heart was in my throat and I was having flashbacks to unpleasant times.
I must have wavered for a moment, because he was on me in a flash, wrestling the gun from my grip.
I struggled, clocking him across the face with my elbow. He grunted, gripping my hand so tight that I cried out and let go.
The gun sailed across the room. Rowan was momentarily distracted, until I yanked out my switch knife from my pocket. I swung, my brain on autopilot, the only thing keeping me going was my desire to live.
I ended up giving him a haircut; a couple locks of dark hair drifted to the floor. It was only a moment before that too, was ripped from my hand and tossed across the room.
I only had my fists left to defend me, but I had already been overpowered twice with weapons I was trained in using. I wouldn’t win in a strength match. Actually terrified now, I curled up in a ball, covering my head and letting out possibly the most embarrassing whimper I had ever uttered in my entire nineteen years of existence.
I could hear him breathing hard overtop of me, which only made me curl up tighter. At that point I didn’t know what he was capable of; I had never heard of a monk getting physical, and though it might normally have been a stretch, somehow I didn’t think it would be so crazy to think if Rowan felt threatened, he would hit first.
“Life in the barracks must be rough if you think a guy in a robe is going to hit you.” He sat back on his feet.
I didn’t uncurl; I was shaking so hard from both fear and from being curled up so tightly I didn’t think I would ever recover.
“I would have asked your name, but upon first seeing you I thought you would be the type to instantly die in battle and I figured it was useless. Now I know you would be the coward to run and hide.” He said scornfully. “No need to waste brain space for someone who doesn’t deserve it.”
Coward. That was me. I looked away from the dead and broke down at the sound of enemy aircraft. I couldn’t sleep through the night anymore. I avoided physical touch and comfort and warmth for fear of being found out and kicked out of the only life I knew. I didn’t make friends for fear they would abandon me. I didn’t have a lover back home because I was scared he would hate me for leaving.
Coward. I, Julian Grey, was a coward with a capital C. That was my identity. That was why I had come to the monastery, to avoid the taunts and scornful glances.
Me running away to hide had only lead to more pain.
I heard him leave, the soft swishing sound of his robes and the click of the door barely recognizable over the roaring in my ears and my screaming heart.
It was late when I entered my room I shared with three others. Two didn’t spare me anything but a passing glance, but Hayden greeted me with more cheer than I felt like I deserved.
Rowan’s words were clanging in my ears. A waste of space to know your name.
Hayden’s smile slipped as I brushed past him. “Jules?”
“Later.” I climbed up into my bunk and pulled my and his blankets over my head.
I didn’t have any more tears left to cry, but I did have plenty of harsh words to kill myself with.
“Let’s go get food. I’m starving.” He coaxed me, standing on the frame of his bed to be at eye level with me.
“I’m not hungry.” It was a half-lie.
I was hungry, but the thought of food made me want to throw up.
“Okay....come with me while I get food.”
“No, Hayden.”
“That’s your favorite phrase, isn’t it. No Hayden. Stop it Hayden. Julian...c’mon. Indulge me.” He sounded defeated.
Guilt was drowning me in a tidal wave. I pushed away the blankets and slid off the bunkbed. His eyes lit up as I shoved my feet into my boots.
“Let’s gooo!!!” He said enthusiastically, grabbing his jacket and leading the way out of the room.
“So tell me about your day.” Hayden bumped me with his arm.
I took a half step further to the side. “It was shit.”
“No kidding. You went to the temple. Nothing happens. But I thought you wanted to go? Catch some Zzz’s?”
I tucked my hands further into my pockets, gripping the material between my fingers. “I met the biggest jerk ever.”
“A bigger jerk than me? Not fair, I can’t believe I have competition.” He whined.
I couldn’t bring myself to smile, when normally that would have incited teasing. “Yeah.”
Hayden furrowed his eyebrows. “What happened, Julian?”
I shrugged, feeling my throat tighten. “He...reminded me of those guys from sector 4.”
Hayden sucked in a breath. “Fuck, Jules. I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged again, nervously licking my lips. “It’s whatever.”
“I mean, I thought you would be happier at the temple. Get some time to recuperate and whatnot. But I guess your day would have been better if you trained until you passed out.” He ran his fingers through his hair as we approached the mess hall.
“There was no way to know. Don’t worry about it.” Somehow, just talking to him made me feel a tiny bit better.
“Yeah, but...” His hand fell to hit his thigh. “I feel bad. Like it’s my job to look out for you.”
I tensed. “I’m not your charge.”
“No, of course not. But I’ve been here longer than you. You’re like my little brother; teasing you is fun and I want to sock anyone who hurts you.” He said fiercely. “You’re special to me, Jules.”
I stopped walking to look up at him. To really look at him. To look past the dark hair, the blue eyes, the slightly crooked nose, the soft lips, to the man in front of me. The twenty-two year old who always looked out for me and stuck up for me and teased me and made me laugh. The man who felt closer than a brother. The man who would do anything for anyone, who stayed up late to make sure people were safe, who sacrificed time and energy to help me and everyone around me.
He was super annoying, but he was also amazing.
I blinked and broke eye contact, so sure I would do something stupid. Coughing, I nodded to the long table of food. “You should eat.”
“You too.” Hayden argued.
“I feel like throwing up right now.” I admitted.
Something softened in his gaze. “Okay.”
I sat down, picking at my nails as I waited. My eyes ended up scanning the mostly empty room, taking in the groups of people talking and laughing. Something in me longed for that kind of connection. Hayden was sweet and kept me busy, but still. I wanted someone I could tell things I couldn’t bear to tell him.
Hayden sat his tray down across from me, cutting off my melancholy thoughts.
“So how was your day?” I asked.
He brightened. “Really good! One of the staff sergeants complimented me on my strategic lineup.”
I smiled. “That’s great.”
“Right?! I thought I was gonna pass out. It was super great.” Hayden said enthusiastically.
He lifted his fork to his mouth, then paused. “They actually are gonna promote me with a ceremony and everything. I’m being promoted all the way to field sergeant.”
I rested my chin on my palm. “That’s amazing.”
“I, uh, would really appreciate it if you came.” He licked his lips.
“Yeah. Of course I’ll be there.” I nodded.
He relaxed, his eyes sparkling. “Thanks, Jules. It means a lot to me.”
His cerulean eyes scanned the mess hall before focusing on me again. “So like, that monk who...y’know. Do you want to talk about it?”
I picked up his unused spoon off of his plate and fiddled with it. “He, um... called me a coward and said it wasn’t worth knowing my name. Said it would be a waste of brain space.”
Hayden bristled.
I hurried on. “I mean like it made me, um, upset and he approached me and I freaked out and we fought and he was able to disarm me and I...”
“He made you break down.” Hayden finished, fury bright in his eyes and words.
I nodded. I felt weak for having to tell him. Why couldn’t I have just kept it to myself?
Coward.
“Ugh. Point him out to me next time we’re both at the temple.”
“Why?”
“Plan on him never walking again.” Hayden growled.
I shivered despite myself. I had met Angry Hayden before; it wasn’t pleasant.
He mostly ate in silence, not saying a word when I stole a slice of fruit. Usually he would pester me about stealing his food, yell at me to go get my own, but at that moment he probably was more happy I was eating something. Who cared where it came from.
We walked around the base rather aimlessly, both of us lost in thought. That urge, desire, itch, longing for a hug had sprung on me again, and I wrestled with the idea.
“So the hug is the only way you’ll let me make it up to you?” I asked.
Hayden blinked down at me, pulled from his thoughts. “What? Oh, yeah. Hugs are the new currency.”
I kept my hands in my pockets, squeezing the loose material in my fists. “I was thinking about it.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” I had never felt more awkward in my life.
A boyish smile crept across his face. “Got something to admit, Jules?”
I wrinkled my nose at him, earning a laugh.
“I knew you couldn’t resist this charm.” He spread his arms, grinning at me cheerily. “C’mere.”
I stared at him in disbelief, then sighed and stepped forward. My head came to rest on his sternum but my hands stayed stubbornly in my pockets. He wrapped his long arms around me, letting out a small noise of content.
“How long do I have to stay here?” I asked, trying not to inhale too deeply.
Even though running water was a luxury this town couldn’t afford, Hayden still managed to smell somewhat decent, and it sent my head and heart reeling.
“A couple more moments.” His grip tightened.
I angled my head up, my hands drifting up to rest on his sides. Muscles tensed, and I watched with interest as his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.
“Got something to admit, Cartwright?” I teased.
“My slate is clean, Grey.”
“I think you’re ticklish.” I lightly dragged my short nails along his sides.
Hayden shuddered. “Negative.”
I tried again, laughing at the way he curled away from my hands but still tried to hold onto me.
“You’re mean.” He grumbled.
“That’s me.” I pulled away, my heart freezing at the way his hands slid down my sides as he let go.
I wasn’t that curvy, but there was no denying it if you weren’t stupid. Hayden was far from stupid, but he also was somewhat oblivious.
I always banked on it, anyway.
“Now we’re even.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
He smiled a little dreamily. “I finally got physical contact with my favorite person. This is great.”
I snorted and started to walk away, hoping he wouldn’t notice how warm my cheeks felt. “Don’t hope for it any time soon.”
“Aw, really? I thought you didn’t mind it. You held on for a while, after all.”
“I indulged you. I felt guilty.” I said firmly.
“Yeah sure. You just couldn’t resist my charms.”
Despite everything, I looked over my shoulder at him, taking in how he was glowing. A soft smile crossed my face.
“Sure thing. It was definitely your charm.”
I inwardly flinched when I was assigned monastery overseeing duty. No. No no no, please, anything but that.
My face must have given something away, because the task master squinted at me. “Got a problem with that, Grey?”
“No, sir.” I straightened.
Hayden dared to side eye me, but snapped back to attention at the sound of his name. He was put back on strategy practice.
Lucky.
“That sucks so bad. They must have it in for you.” Hayden said mournfully as I slung my gun over my shoulder.
“Something like that.” I said grumpily.
“Wait, wait,” He caught my attention before I left the room. “Hug before you go?”
He had such a childish hope on his face that I couldn’t bear to say no. “Make it quick, Hayden.” I sighed.
He eagerly hugged me, squeezing and lifting me off the ground. “You should shower after you get back. Or during.”
“Yeah.”
He carefully sat me back on my feet and gave a mock salute. “Reporting for duty, Captain!”
I rolled my eyes, but played along. “At ease, soldier. Clean out the latrines with a toothbrush. I want it spotless by 1200.”
He paled. “Yes Captain!”
“Anything less than spotless means two hundred pushups.”
“Jeez, you’re a tough Captain.”
“What was that?”
“Sir, yes sir!”
I punched him in the abs, making him grunt. “Have a good day, Hayden.”
He rubbed his stomach, but smiled at me anyway. “You too, Julian.”
As I climbed the stone steps into the temple, I ignored everyone tall. Luckily, a shorter man came to greet me.
He bowed in greeting. I angled my head in hello.
“You seem tired. We have a guest room for you, if you would indulge.” He said calmly, quietly.
I started. “I, uh, probably shouldn’t. How did...”
“You were here yesterday; Rowan informed me. I am sorry for his conduct. Please do not judge us all by the actions of one.”
So he had a conscience, and everyone else didn’t want us to shoot them for his stupidity. Interesting.
“I’ll swing by in a moment. I have some things to do.” I shifted the weight on my back. “Thank you, though.”
He bowed again, handed me a key with the numbers 32 inscribed on the brass plating, then disappeared down a hall.
I wandered around the building, writing down things I saw and at what time. Like when groups moved from one place to another, what food they ate or when they took breaks. I was supposed to have done it yesterday, but, well, that hadn’t gone to plan.
“You’re spying on us, now.” Rowan said from behind me.
Everything tensed in me, and my N dipped much lower on the page than usual. “I’m following orders.”
“You’re spying.” He repeated firmly.
“I’m following orders.” I repeated, not turning around to face him.
I slipped my pen back into my pocket and kept walking. I could hear him shuffle behind me, easily keeping up.
“Stop following me.” I said, when he turned the same corner for the fourth time in a row.
“I’m not following you.”
“I hope you aren’t.” I was nearing the room they had offered me, and I fished out the key from my pocket.
He ducked into a room one hallway before I did, and only then did I breathe a sigh of relief, my legs turning to jello as I allowed myself to breathe regularly again.
Unlocking the room, I stepped inside. A rug was tossed over the stone floor in a small attempt to banish the chill in the air. A mattress was placed on the floor, with a couple of blankets on top. There was a window-seat with a pillow, and a door adjoining the room. I curiously pushed it open, to find a bathtub and toilet.
“Running water?” I whispered, trying the handle of the tub.
Cold water gushed out. I could have cried.
My decision made, I locked the door and shed my clothes, filling up the tub with cold water. I didn’t care how cold it was; a bath by myself, without the fear of someone walking in, sounded amazing.
Taking the binder off was possibly the best thing I had done in a while. I was perfectly comfortable in my body, but I knew I would be treated even more terribly if I broadcasted my gender, so I wore a chest binder during the day, pausing to take it off when I slept or showered.
The soap provided was far from luxurious, but it felt heavenly in my hair and on my skin. Even though I shivered and had to concentrate on breathing, that bath was one of the best things that had happened to me in a long while.
I stared at myself in the mirror, taking in the curves that I did my best to hide, the defined muscles from hours of working out, the fading bruises from training. I sighed before reaching for my binder. What I wouldn’t give for a couple days to go without wearing the thing.
I changed back into my clothes, grimacing at the idea of putting dirty clothes on, before walking into the bedroom. I sat on the window seat, taking in the courtyard outside. The monks kept it tidy and welcoming.
I had to smile. Life wouldn’t be so bad here.
Feeling much better from that bath, I wandered around the temple for a while, enjoying the serenity as opposed to the constant business of the base. A couple of monks were meditating in the shade, and I gave them plenty of space. It was nice, not having to be doing something. To have the time to just sit and let your mind rest.
I copied them, holing up in an empty, dark corner. Settling against the tree, I closed my eyes and dozed off.
It was later than I liked it to be when I was roused from my nap.
“If you plan on spending the night, you should alert us.” Rowan stood over me, distaste written clear on his face.
I sat up and arched my back, my spine popping in several places. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep for so long. What time is it?”
“After six.” He took a couple steps back as I scrambled to my feet.
“Shit, I was supposed to be back two hours ago.” I hastily slung my bag over my shoulder.
Rowan sneered at me. “You shouldn’t have fallen asleep. Doesn’t seem like you’re that good at your job. Can you even protect civilians, or do you run and hide and sleep instead, like a coward?”
His words, even though I tried to ignore them, made me more panicked and distressed. I was going to be in so much trouble—
Footsteps that were too heavy to be monks sounded behind us. I wanted to hide. They were here and I was going to be sent to the frontlines—
Familiar, bright blue eyes focused on me with worried intent. “You’re late, Grey. Captain had to send us out to make sure you weren’t captured by the terrorists.”
Relief made my shoulders sag. I rubbed my face before straightening. “I was taking notes and mistakenly fell asleep. I take full responsibility.”
Hayden was flanked by two other soldiers, both of whom had their guns in their hands. He studied me with narrowed eyes, then turned to Rowan who was watching this all with interest. “Do you need something?”
“No.” Rowan inclined his head.
“Then scram.” Hayden brushed him off, turning back to me.
Rowan looked pissed about being dismissed, but took one look at the three of them and left.
“Let’s go, Grey. I’m sure the commander will love to hear all about your nap.” Hayden said sharply.
I hoped his attitude was all for show, that he wasn’t actually this angry at me. His words stung, and the hard expression on his face betrayed no mercy.
I wouldn’t find comfort from him.
It felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on my head.
After being berated by the commander, I was given a rough sentence of hard training and had some privileges taken away. I could live without those things, though.
It was Hayden’s silence that hurt the most.
“Where are you going?” I asked, watching him stuff his things into his bag.
“I’ve been promoted. You would have been there, if you hadn’t fallen asleep.” He said flatly.
I bit my lip, suddenly remembering that he had, indeed said he was being promoted for his strategic abilities. He had been so excited about it. And I had been too caught up in my own struggles to care.
The guilt felt like a sickening blow to the gut. I’m sorry felt flimsy at best.
I picked at my clean fingernail, suddenly disgusted with myself. “So where will you be?”
“In the main headquarters, mostly. I doubt I’ll see much action.” Hayden stopped to look up at me, blue eyes flinty.
I held his gaze as best as I could, before breaking off as tears burned my eyes. I was determined not to cry, though. I felt bad enough; crying would just make me feel worse and probably make him hate me more.
“I’ve stuck up for you, I’ve defended you with every last breath, I’ve tried to be the reason you got out of bed in the morning. I asked you for one thing, and you were too selfish to give it. Don’t try to find me, Julian. I don’t want to know you anymore.” He slung his belongings over his shoulder and walked out.
The door hadn’t been shut for ten seconds before I completely broke down.
I didn’t care who saw me. I had screwed everything up with my best friend and lost the only thing I cared about in life. My pride had been so wrecked that my dignity was worthless to me.
Weeks passed. I threw myself into working out until my whole body ached, until bruises blossomed underneath other bruises, until I could barely climb back into my bunk. Every night I passed out from exhaustion.
I became angrier and temperamental. If someone spoke an unkind word about me I had no qualms about socking them in the nose. I blankly accepted scoldings and punishments from the higher ups, always pushing myself to do better and to care less. To care less about my body and my mental wellbeing. They didn’t matter; I was a soldier, and it was time to act like one.
It was like all my emotions and my mind had shut down after Hayden left, replaced with anger and a cold determination to claw my way out of this hellhole. I didn’t have anyone who cared about me or looked out for me, so I looked out for myself and threw myself into reckless situations.
The commanders ended up putting me on solo missions because nobody could stand having me in their group. I didn’t mind; I didn’t have to listen to them complain about me.
I was stationed back at that monastery, tasked with the same thing I had had to do all those weeks ago when I screwed up.
But this time, I decided, would be different. I wasn’t going to take anything for myself—not a bath, or a nap, or food. I didn’t need it. My spine was made of steel; frivolous things were unimportant to the merciless machine I aimed to be.
As I wrote down times, dates and other information, someone came up behind me.
“You’re still snooping.” Rowan hissed.
I didn’t say anything, just kept writing.
“You lose your hearing, Grey?”
Still nothing. I acted like he didn’t exist and glanced at my watch. It was 1300.
“Perfect. I guess I’ll continue to think that you’re too much of a coward to even talk to a monk.”
I clicked my pen closed and slipped it into my pocket. I tucked my clipboard under my arm, before turning on my back heel and nailing him in the gut.
Rowan doubled over, wheezing, bending down perfectly for my elbow to connect with his face. Something crunched on impact, and the man stumbled back with a cry.
“I won’t take your shit any longer. Don’t you fucking talk to me when I’m on duty, or I’ll rip off your dick.” I barked.
Blood dripped down his hands, his dark eyes wide in shock; his surprise quickly faded to awe, and he let out a pained, amused laugh. “Glad to see you have some spirit again. I was afraid a couple of insults had broken you.”
I glared at him. “Shut the—“
Rowan’s sharp gaze only made me more angry. “Stop, Julian. Keep your mouth clean in a temple of Yona.”
How dare he. How dare he tell me what to do, when he’s been bullying me and breaking me down since day one—!
I lashed out, the clipboard falling to the stone floor as I swung. In the end, I had a nasty cut on my face, his lip was bleeding, my knuckles were torn and bruised and we were both winded.
I somehow felt better. Less angry, more calm. Like beating the tar out of him had released some of my pent up rage. Even though I had taken some shots as well, it still felt therapeutic to vent my anger in the only way I knew how.
“What in the world has made you so angry?” He gently dabbed at his sliced lip.
I glared at him. “None of your business.”
“I mean, I didn’t say I didn’t mind it. It’s just a surprise from the last time you were here.”
Last time. When I screwed up beyond repair. I fought to keep my shoulders from slumping as Hayden’s cold gaze flashed in front of my eyes. The fight gone out of me, I made to pick up the clipboard. “You like getting your ass handed to you? Masochistic freak.”
Rowan had already scooped it up, though, and even though he wasn’t flipping through it, I still hated that he had it.
“Give me that, before I claw your eyes out.” I spat.
Holding it above my head, he studied me with a kind of gaze that I didn’t appreciate. Like he was assessing me, reading my scars and secrets written on my soul. It made me feel exposed, anxious, threatened.
“Now!” I barked, trying not to give away how unnerved I felt.
“Julian Grey. You’re nineteen and a long way from home. Your only friend has left you behind. How did you get into the military with being a woman?”
Icy shock, suffocating horror triggered a roaring in my ears. I could only stare at him, more frightened right then than I had been in my entire life. More frightened than the first time I had been dispatched. More than all my nightmares combined. How did he know? Was it that obvious?
“I was accepted, fair and square.” I managed to choke out, my hands trembling.
I tightened them into fists. I knew how to hit. I knew how to be angry and to fight. I didn’t know how to handle someone else knowing my secret.
I didn’t know how to deal with being this scared.
“You lied.”
“I did no such thing. The higher ups and the medical doctors know exactly what I am.”
“Why did they accept you?”
“They were desperate. I’m not the only one they’ve drafted.”
“Why haven’t you left?”
I had grown tired of his questions. I kicked his shin, and when he flinched, jumped and ripped the clipboard from his hands.
“If you tell anyone, I will execute you on the spot.”
Those damn dark eyes only studied me; a small smirk crossed his face. “You got it, Julie.”
I punched him in the stomach, but this time he was ready, tensing before I made contact.
“I hope you die in a fire.” I turned and walked off, worrying my lip in between my teeth.
“You too.” He called back.
I drew my jacket tighter around myself even though it wasn’t cold out and bid my feet to go faster. The walk to the base felt as if it would take forever; Rowan’s knowledge hung over me like a thick cloud of fog, confusing and disorienting me until all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and sleep for a while. Or punch his lights out. That worked too.
“Give your report directly to the field sergeant.” Was the sharp order when I handed the clipboard to the reporting officer.
My jaw tightened. Swiping the report off the desk, I stalked towards the stairs. Taking them two at a time, I crossed to the other side of the building.
I passed by a couple of other soldiers, who all tensed when I walked by. They all had gotten socked at some point, and did their best to avoid me. That gave me a sense of satisfaction, and I lifted my head a little higher.
The whole division hates and fears you. Congrats, Grey, you’ve completely alienated yourself from everyone.
They deserve nothing less.
I dropped the report onto the desk with a clatter. Hayden didn’t look up from the pages he was flipping through. “Report.”
The blank tone sent a sharp jolt of pain through my heart. I thought I was used to the idea that he hated me. I thought I was tough enough to handle the thinly-veiled disgust and disapproval, the cold rage.
I wasn’t.
My tongue was in knots, my backbone of steel melting to putty. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be angry and harsh to him.
Memories of him smiling and laughing and calling me Jules with that teasing air resurfaced to the forefront of my mind, flashing in front of my eyes and threatening to bring tears.
Shit.
Hayden looked up at me, and that blank, unrecognizing stare made me mentally crumple to the ground.
He glanced at my nametag stitched into my uniform before barking at me. That small dip of his eyes, that faking that he didn’t know my name, made the lump in my throat grow wider.
Please, please, please. Don’t crumble now. I can’t, I won’t—!
“Something making you stupid, Grey?” He snapped. “You’re wasting my time.”
I’ve faced worse. I’ve shot people. I can stand up to one person out of hundreds who hates me. This is nothing.
It’s just Hayden.
“Read the damn report. Nothing has changed.” I hated that my voice struggled at first to get the words out.
I should have been happy at the surprise in his eyes at my equally as harsh tone. At how different I was around him.
But I couldn’t. All I could see was the man who had held me upright when I couldn’t physically do it myself. Who had comforted me when I had nightmares. Who had shared his blanket when I couldn’t stop shaking. Who I had trusted with my entire being.
That surprise quickly morphed into anger. His lip curled in disgust. “You’re the worst soldier I’ve ever met. You have zero respect for your commanding officers. It’s a miracle nobody’s shot you yet.”
“None of these people have earned my respect. You’re all such shitty people, you don’t deserve anything other than disrespect.” I turned on my heel and walked out.
I heard him leap to his feet, come after me, which only made me walk faster until I was sprinting down the hallways. I knew I was dead if he caught me. I didn’t put it past him to physically tear me apart.
My feet carried me up flights of stairs. I could hear him right behind me, breathing hard. Sitting at a desk all day had made him soft.
Not even winded, I turned to the metal railing on the catwalk and heaved myself over it. I fell a good eight feet to hardpacked dirt, rolling on my shoulder to help absorb some of the impact.
When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw he was still up there, staring at me with clear distaste. I calmly dusted myself off and walked away.
It had been another rough week when I was finally sent back to the monastery. I couldn’t understand why we kept such a close eye on them—they were monks. They didn’t do much but pray and meditate. I doubted the people higher up would ever tell me why I had to record the rotations in personnel. Best just to do what I was told.
Rowan greeted me, as snarky as ever. “And you call me the masochistic freak. You keep coming back to the most boring place for a soldier.”
I greeted him back with silence as I wrote down the time and how many monks I saw congregated in the middle of the courtyard.
Rowan tucked his hands into his sleeves and studied me. “You got clobbered hard since the last time I saw you.”
I didn’t bother to look at him. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Oh? Then were you getting freaky with a captain? How else do you explain that bruise on your shoulder?”
I glanced at my shoulder, noting the way my short sleeved shirt didn’t hide the bruise. I shrugged up my jacket over my shoulders and went back to writing.
His eyes narrowed. “Who hit you?”
“None of your business.”
“Fair enough. When are you leaving?”
“The sooner you shut up the faster I can leave.” I snapped.
There was some bruising on and around his nose, a sign of how hard I had elbowed him. His nose was healing fine, though. Rowan fell silent, but I could tell he had a million questions. As soon as he opened his mouth, I punched him in the gut. He gasped, wincing.
“Stop that.” He complained. “I’m just a monk.”
I glared at him. “You’re the stupidest, most annoying person on the planet. Get lost.”
“And you’re the most aggressive, angry, bitter, abusive woman I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting.” His lip curled. “You’re the walking embodiment of a turn off.”
“That’s mutual. You’re ugly and your personality is garbage.” I flipped to the next page and studied the empty chart I had to fill.
“Doesn’t it bother you that you’ll never have a lover?”
I glared at him, anger making me pull my gun out of it’s holster and aim it point blank at his face. “I’m in the military. I don’t want a lover. Doesn’t it bother you that you won’t ever have kids?”
“I don’t want tiny demons to look after.” He said firmly. “Get that out of my face.”
I clicked the safety off. Anger made my hand tremble; even though it had been a perfectly legitimate question, it had tapped into one of the things I didn’t like to think about: how messed up I would be after this. Mentally, physically, emotionally... I would have so much baggage that finding someone who would even think about loving me was out of the question.
I couldn’t even keep someone close enough to call them a friend.
So I hid my fear behind anger. That was the one emotion I could trust to always support me. I could always find it when I needed it.
Rowan grabbed the gun and fought it out of my hand. It went off, the bullet zooming off into the unknown.
And then we were fighting, grappling with clumsy hands and twisting bodies, with cries of pain and the sound of fists hitting flesh, until he had overpowered me with brute strength. Gasping, half sobbing from adrenaline, I struggled to get free from his iron grip. Either the monks were watching from a safe distance, or they knew not to even come close, as there wasn’t anyone around to watch us claw at each other.
“Yona, woman, you don’t know when to stop, do you?” To my pleasure, he sounded just as tired as I felt.
My hands were trapped to my chest, both of his arms wrapped around my own arm. One leg was in between mine, and my head could only hit his chest. I was powerless to get free, and he was safe.
“Let me go.” I squirmed.
“Not until you answer one question and follow one order.” He said firmly.
My jaw tightened. I didn’t like where this was going, but what choice did I have? I couldn’t physically move, and I had work to do.
Somehow, I doubted the commanders would send someone out to find me if I was late.
“Fine. One question and one order.” I said through gritted teeth.
“Who made you this angry?”
“You don’t know him.”
“That’s not a qualifying answer. Tell me.”
I kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t ready to tell him that. Rowan had some kind of otherworldly patience, because he only stood there and waited for me to say. I closed my eyes, trying not to breathe too deeply. Whatever soap or deodorant or something he had used made my head spin in a way that made my knees weak. I could feel him take slow breaths, feel him try to calm down his heart that still raced from the earlier exertion.
Stupid. This is the worst time ever to let your hormones play tricks with you.
“I don’t trust you enough to tell you that.” I said finally.
Although this wasn’t the answer he was hoping for, Rowan accepted it and moved on. “Take off your wrap.”
I froze, horrified by what he had just uttered. “No.”
I squeaked as he started walking backwards. “Let me go!”
“No.” He said mockingly, backing into a door.
It swung open, revealing it to be someone’s room. It was plain, simple, minimalist. A dresser with a mirror above it, a bed, a desk and chair. One dark rug to warm the floor. That was it.
Rowan closed the door and let me go. I stumbled free and immediately went for the window, but there was no way I could fit. It was too skinny.
“Why do you want to see me without my wrap? Pervert.” I accused, crossing my arms across my chest.
Rowan tucked his hands into his sleeves. “No. That is not my intention. Just do it.”
“Not with you watching.” I cried desperately, my brain scrambling to figure out how to get out of this.
He turned, his back to me, still blocking the door. “I won’t let you out until you do. From your wicked attitude and aggressive injuries, I doubt anyone will come looking for you if you’re late.”
Some kind of pained noise tore its way from my throat. He was right.
He was always right.
I exhaled, closing my eyes tightly. I didn’t want to. It didn’t feel right. I hadn’t taken off my bindings around anyone since the last physical exam six months ago. And that had been a doctor.
This was just an a barbaric monk.
Those are not two words I would have put next to each other. I thought dryly as I pulled away my jacket. My fingers hesitated on the edge of my dark shirt.
“Why are you making me do this? If you touch me I will scream.” I demanded.
“Despite what you might think of my personality, I do follow a code of conduct. I don’t attack first and I don’t rape women, Julian. Believe whatever you want, but do know that anything hurtful I have said or done was not to be cruel, but to test you as a soldier.” Rowan said seriously.
“So this is another test?” My shirt was halfway up my abdomen, exposing the edge of my bindings.
“Yes.”
“What are you trying to prove with these stupid tests?” Off came the shirt.
The air was cold, and I held back a shiver.
“That they aren’t ruining people in their divisions. That the soldiers they train still have compassion and morals and humanity, but are loyal and follow their duty.”
“So I’m failing.” I started to undo the wrap.
“Not necessarily. You’re the most interesting soldier I’ve met.”
I studied the back of his head as I shimmied back into my shirt and jacket. “This is all some kind of elaborate lie to kidnap me, isn’t it. You’re a freak who owns some kind of prostitution ring and you want to know what I look like so you could figure out how much money I would bring in.”
Rowan let out a choked, horrified noise. “Yona, Julian, absolutely not! I can’t...you think...”
“Whatever. It’s way easier to get myself free from a civilian than a ripped monk. Turn around.” I gripped the wrap tightly in one hand, unable to keep myself out of a defensive pose.
Rowan turned, but his eyes didn’t immediately scan my body. They focused on my face. It threw me off, and my mouth opened a little.
“You don’t have to wear that around here.” His eyes dropped to the wrap, and only then did he glance over my body.
But it wasn’t in a creepy way. There was no desire in his body language or in his words. He only glanced at me as if to remind himself that I was who he thought I was.
It somehow lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. He didn’t care.
Rowan. Didn’t. Care.
“Put it back on if you want. I don’t care. But you needn’t think you have to worry about people saying things, or trying to take advantage of you. Your uniform and the glare you wear is enough to warn and to turn people off.”
There were tears. On my cheeks, blurring my eyes, casting him in a dreamy landscape, smearing away reality. He stepped forward. I stepped back.
“Julian—“
“Don’t come any closer.” I rasped. “I’ll scratch your eyes out.”
He might have smiled. He might have glared. I couldn’t tell. He was too blurry to tell the difference.
“You’re crying.”
“No shit.”
“Do my words really have that much of an effect on you?”
“No.” I roughly wiped my eyes and gave myself a mental shake.
It was a lie. I knew that he knew it.
“I think they do. This isn’t the first time I’ve manipulated your feelings.”
“Now I know you would be the coward to run and hide. No need to waste brain space for someone who doesn’t deserve it.”
I gritted my teeth. “Turn around so I can put this back on and leave.”
Rowan studied me for a long moment, then turned. To my surprise, he opened the door. “Leave whenever.” He said quietly, then walked out.
I was left to chew over his words and study the space he had last occupied.
I still hated him. He was all sharp edges, prickly words, calculating gazes and manipulative intentions.
But, somehow, I knew that he cared. Even just a little. Even if his motives were wrong, that he just wanted me alive to prove his twisted ideas of the military.
At least someone wanted me around.
#wip#military au#writing exercises#writing#angst#drama#enemies to lovers#best friends to enemies#this is the wildest fic ive ever started wow what a trainwreck#tw: death#part 1#my words
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My Waifu/Husbando List
(Here is a list of my husbandos/waifus and why. Bear with me, I just felt like sharing)
Husbando
Fafnir(Ms. Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid)
Long black hair: Fricken love it, especially on male characters. I also love red eyes on characters because even though they’re usually used on villainous characters, I think the black hair, red eyes combination is beautiful and it works really well on Fafnir(You can tell he was based off of Sebastian). I also love a well-dressed man. But the best parts of Fafnir are his bromance with Takiya and the stark contrast between his looks and his gaming addiction.
Tamaki Suoh (Ouran High School Host Club)
I shipped this boy with Haruhi from Day 1. He’s a dumb butt rich boy, but I love him. He’s a goofball but at the same time he also has that princely charm. He does so much for the Host Club and he cares a lot about all its members and they care about him too. Also, I’ll say this a 100% unironically: Tamaki is GORGEOUS. Sharply dressed, nicely cared for blond hair, violet(or blue, if you’re a manga reader)...Just, yes.
Chezem (Shall We Date? My Sweet Prince)
Chezem is a love from my dating sim days. He was the first prince I went for in the game and to this day is still my favorite. He’s a scholarly boy with trust issues. Wonderful. His route was beautiful and his CGIs warmed my heart to the core. The few times you see him genuinely smile are just the best. I also love his overall design. He even wears reading glasses(That megane appeal is on point!).
Keima Katsuragi (The World God Only Knows)
Ah, the megane once again. He’s cute, what can I say. He’s smart and he loves games, what more could you want? I personally think it would be very fun to be one of his “conquests”. Even if you know it’s not gonna last, you know he’s going to make sure you have a good time.
Kenji Yamaguchi (My Little Monster)
Is it bad that as I was watching My Little Monster, I slowly began to route for Yamaguchi even though I knew Haru was gonna win(I don’t really like characters with anger issues)? He’s sort of an Ace in universe but he’s also a bit of a jerk. So why do I like him??? He’s smart, but there’s a lot of characters who are smart. I think it’s how he falls for Shizu in the anime. Maybe I like the thought of someone who acts so above it all being brought down to their knees because they caught feelings.
Lancer: Diurmuid Ua Duibhne(Fate Zero)
I feel bad for Lancer. He was one of the characters in Fate/Zero that I really didn’t want to die. I knew it was inevitable but all he wanted to do was be a loyal knight! He’s such a great guy but his luck is TERRIBLE. I think the fact that he met such an unfortunate end makes me like him more because now I want to write a story where nothing happens to him.
Waifu
Now because I’m straight, I’m not actually sexually attracted to my waifus and they may not be waifus by the same criteria that others would make waifus.
Yona(Yona of the Dawn)
SLAY ME, QUEEN! I love Yona! Her character development is to die for! She is kind, she is strong, and she is cute as a button. She is a beautiful queen and long may she reign!
Hinata Kawamoto (March Comes In Like a Lion)
Hina is on this list because I can’t help but applaud her strength during the bullying arc. She has the inner strength that I WISH I had in her situation. She stood up for her friend, stood up for herself, and did not decide to fight her tormentor. She sought help when she needed but didn’t let her struggles keep her from moving forward. Love this girl.
Don’t Know You But I Love You
These are for the characters from shows I haven’t watched but am already fond of.
Ikuto Tsukiyomi(Shoujo Chara)
Catboy who is also a tease. Enough said.
Victor Nikorov (Yuri on Ice)
Why does he have to be so hot?! I avoided watching Yuri On Ice because I didn’t want to become a fujoshi yet this man. This man right here. Oh lordy. The ice skating, the hotspring scene.....I’m weak.
Love Them So Much I Can’t Even Call Them a Husbando
Izuku “Deku” Midoriya (My Hero Academia)
I am not good enough for Izuku. I can’t even call him a husbando. He’s too pure. He is the best hero. He is incredibly smart, brave, and heroic and he’s everything I aspire to one day be. Except reckless. I’m not too fond of breaking my arms.
It would be nice if I could hear about your opinions of my list because I know that a person’s waifu/husbando(s) is supposed to reflect a lot about them and what they want from a partner but I don’t personally see a pattern with these guys.
Who are your waifus and husbandos?
#list#waifu#husbando#chezem#tamaki suoh#izuku midoriya#fafnir#lancer#yona#hina#hinata#victor nikiforov#ikuto tsukiyomi#keima katsuragi#yamachen
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