#yes i know phobias exist. im not talking about that
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"i love all animals! except for bugs" okay. do you want a medal
#sas says#arthropods#bugs#whyyyyyy does everyone like to treat bugs and arthropods as 'lesser than' or whatever its genuinely infuriating#yes i know phobias exist. im not talking about that#im talking about the people who think bugs and/or arthropods are worthless and only deserve to be crushed#there's a lot of those people out there#shut the fuck up im hugging my millipedes and praying mantises and isopods and shrimp very closely to my chest#(but not too close so i dont hurt them)
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You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia” but where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss? When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet? Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be.
I got my laptop out for this, goddamn. Where would i even start?
"You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia”"
This tells me everything about you, you possibly don't believe in aro/ace identities. You don't believe people can hate on, or be hateful to, aro/ace spec people. And yes I am pissed. Because it was fucked up.
I would try to justify it with "if this was transphobic/homophobia you wouldn't be acting this way" but im guess you don't care about that as you obviously don't see it the same way.
you were also probably someone who sent asks like this (but more hateful) in 2016 and before, you were probably also someone who posted and reblogged aphobic content and said it was "just a joke" later while still sending asks like this to people. Take of that anon and show your face coward.
"where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss?"
where is the accountability for the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still spewing out of ALL lgbtqia+ spaces? Where is the accountability in the REAL world? Where is it anon? Where is the accountability for the acephobia, the arophobia and so many other "not real sexualities/gender identities" -phobias?
You saw a post about aphobia, and instead of being like "yeah that was f-ed up" or "i dont care" you went "but what about meeeeee" which is very all lives matter of you. (I am not comparing racism to homophobia, however the "what about me" bs can be summed up very easily using all lives matter as an example)
For the fucking record, all spaces have assholes, all of them. On behalf of the "normal" aro/ace spec folks, i apologise for any homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia you have experienced from us.
"When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet?"
This is a main aphobe talking point so thank you for doing this by the text book so i can break it down easier!
Three pages about asexual hate crimes which im sure every average cishet has to deal with (assuming their white and male) 1 2 (a booklet for asexual people to be actually fucking included) 3
An incredible interview is here but im going to quote a few things from it as theres a 99.9% chance aphobes wont click a link
"We know aromantics and asexuals have existed for as long as humans have. However, it’s only through the terminology recently going mainstream"
"Because of Freud’s influence, many of us grew up learning that our sex drive is the primary motivator of human behavior, but that isn’t the case."
"That mindset replicates itself within the community so that when a new identity emerges, or when people try to explain themselves, there is resistance and pushback from within the community with the mindset that “if we let these kinds of people in, then that will dilute the access to power and resources we have.” And it forces the community to maintain adjacency to white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, ableism and classism, all while leaving behind entire groups of people."
" Do you think there will be more identities joining the LGBTQIA+ acronym?
JP: Yes. The more words we have to describe ourselves, the better we are understood."
"The biggest comparisons are the lack of visibility and exclusion from communities on the basis that they’re weird, different, othered or “don’t belong in this space.” Every queer person has experienced this narrative and as more join under the umbrella, the newbie will experience the same challenges, discrimination and misunderstandings as those who came before."
and here is another article that has a quote i just live by
"When did trauma become the mark of queerness?"
but back to the aphobe ->
"Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. "
if you think queer = sex then so help me. queer does not equal sex, queer is sexuality. and guess what that is NOT always sexual. sexuality is who your attracted to, whether it be romantically OR sexually.
and Asexuality is a spectrum, some asexuals never have sex, some don't want to have sex but have had it due to trauma or peer pressure, some don't care for it, some did it for a partner but just dont care about it.
same with aromantic. Its a spectrum. By your process here, so so so so so many people are removed from the lgbtqia+ community but you couldn't possibly mean that-
"And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be."
-oh you did.
So none of these are part of the community either then? Agender, Bigender, Intersex, genderfluid, pansexual, omnisexual, Omnigender, Questioning, transgender and queer?
interesting anon.
Anyways i hope my followers enjoyed that! Let me know what you think if you finished reading all this!
Love;
An aegosexual, pansexual, aromantic, trans guy with to much fucking time on his hands.
#tw apobia#ask#asks#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aro#ace#aro pride#pride#lgbtqia#ace pride#ace problems#aro problems#cw aphobia#aphobia
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The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.
-Alex, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
i want to talk about this quote. full disclosure, it’s because i keep seeing some really frustrating takes (some of which veer into queerphobia) and i am getting a bit annoyed with people and rather than directly addressing it with them & appear to be picking a fight im going to make an analysis post in my space. (tbf. its mostly on twitter and i have a priv account so that limits me)
disclaimer; this is my interpretation, im not saying its the only interpretation just something to consider. i am queer & cognitively disabled - don’t assume malice and dont be cruel. i will ignore and block freely.
tl;dr/very simplified summary: it doesn’t mean “dont ever speculate about other people’s sexuality” but rather that ‘coming out’ in the way society understands it shouldn’t be a necessity for queer people to exist openly as queer. full context under the cut & self-exploration questions at the end.
so lets start with the context. alex is talking at a point in time when the world has read their emails and so knows both are queer (bi & gay, specifically), but neither alex/the white house or henry/the palace have commented. so more simply - alex and henry are known to be queer, but have not come out. alex uses the speech to come out as bi, and as being in love with henry. he also uses it to imply that he & henry should have the right to choose not to do this formal coming out alex is doing.
—
okay. lets get into the quote analysis.
The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline.
reasonably self explanatory. each queer person gets to decide their own timing for coming out, and the way that they want to address their sexuality.
They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.
this is where problems with interpretation have started to appear. fundamentally yes, this means people are allowed to not be openly queer/‘out’ if that is what their decision is. but it also means that they can be visibly queer - for example being in a visibly queer relationship; signalling with their aesthetic (e.g. someone being butch, someone who wears only ‘girl’ clothes despite that being at odds to their assigned gender); casually posting about queer things on social media etc - without addressing their own sexuality to others.
it does not mean that you should assume everyone is straight until they explicitly tell you otherwise. and quite frankly insisting that it does mean that is veering into homo-/bi-/queer-phobia because you are insinuating that being not-straight is a negative thing.
The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.
some people seem to be interpreting this as ‘you shouldnt force people out of the closet’ and i don’t think thats quite to the nuance of what it means. yes, i do think that is part of it - in much the same way as the previous sentence - but it is not really the whole of it. in my opinion this is actually addressing - at least to some degree - the concept of ‘we should assume people are straight until they explicitly say otherwise’.
the ‘forced conformity of coming out’ addresses the idea that to be “out” you have to follow these steps; that you have to make a public statement that ‘this is my sexuality and i am [queer/bi/gay/pan/ace/etc]’. you are conforming to this precedent of “how to come out” that countless queer people have followed. there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing so, but actually there are different ways to be queer - and even being “out” as queer - that don’t involve following that playbook.
here’s a hypothetical to demonstrate my point. two men, who have never dated any women, live together & spend basically all their time together over 5-10 years. they holiday with each other’s family, they’re always together at events (e.g. weddings of non-mutual friends), but they’ve never told you/the public that they’re queer and/or dating each other. at what point does one start to assume they’re together? and does the answer change if its a man & a woman rather than two men? if a man & a woman did that, people would assume pretty early on they’re probably dating. but yet when it’s two men suddenly it’s invasive to speculate. this is where this concept of the forced conformity of coming out comes in - along with the veering into homophobia i referenced earlier - why must they say the words “i am gay” for it to then be ‘okay’ to consider that they’re together? (the homophobia comes into play because if you think being gay is morally neutral (which it is) then you shouldn’t have any issue with the speculation about people being together regardless of their genders.) the idea that straight is the default is where this forced conformity starts to really kick in.
—
i guess the main things i want people to ask themselves are these (and i have been asking myself these questions, there is no judgement or censure just self examination):
1. do you think people can be openly queer publicly without explicitly sharing that they are queer? (by this i mean in an announcement or in casual conversation. can you be openly queer without ever addressing it explicitly?)
2. if you do, why do you think that talking about the possibility someone is queer is something that should be hushed up? is it because there is an internalised concept that being queer is something abnormal and/or negative? if it was a straight couple would you feel the same way?
3. what does “coming out” mean to you? why does it mean that, what have you internalised to get to that conclusion & is it something that always works or are there other ways to be openly queer (or ‘out’ if you prefer)?
4. is it possible that there are queer people living openly and happily as themselves without explicitly addressing their sexuality to the wider world, who don’t want to address it publicly? does this make them closeted or ‘less’ queer to you? if so, what makes you think that?
#dont @ me ab the summary till youve read the post its simplified#rwrb#red white and royal blue#rwrb movie#elio’s meta#elio’s#rwrb meta#this is a sideblog so all replies/asks will be done publicly. if you want it to be private send a dm#i do have a degree in lit analysis so. yeh. but im happy to discuss this civilly if you disagree#key word being civilly if youre angry at me save your breath i will ignore you#i choose not to talk explicitly on my blog about the topic people are using the quote about#if you want to talk about it dm me thats fine. but i am uncomfortable talking about it where i cant control who sees it#i have been.. grumbling about this vaguely its tagged in my negative feelings tag but ive got to a point now#where this quite interpretation is really annoying me#and i cant stop myself#*this quote interpretation - ofc id typo in the tags on my phone where i cant edit it#my punctuation might be terrible i lost track of what i was doing with apostrophes#ive edited this to death procrastinating posting it so im just gonna post it#who cares anymore
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thank you to Karolina for tagging meeeeeee @inloif
Do you make your bed? Most the time, yes! Because I have a cute, very grannycore bedspread and some cute throw pillows so I like to see it made up and it makes me more likely to actually open the blinds and let the sun in.
What’s your favorite number? 12. Genuinely no reason why.
What is your job? Nothing official. Unofficial.... well maybe theres been a cashy once or twice lately, who knows not me.
If you could go back to school, would you? If I could go back in time, I would- but at this very minute? no. i dropped out of hs because *undiagnosed everything so if I could have, yk, ever accessed help that would have been nice lol
Can you parallel park? I'd prefer not to.
A job you had that might surprise people? idk- aged care? none of my jobs have been very weird or random, so
Do you think aliens are real? 🛸
I WANT TO BELIEVE
Can you drive a manual car? Yes. For 33 whole seconds before I blow up the clutch and destroy the car.
What’s your guilty pleasure? Well. Thats for me to know and to not inflict on my lovely kpop pals 😇
Tattoos? No I'm too indecisive I cant even get a haircut 😭 i like them on other people, though!
Favorite color? depends on the time of day and what stage the moon is in- but like Im always a fan of pics and browns and greens and yellows and
Favorite type of music? Once again. I cannot ever land on a favourite.
Do you like puzzles? Uhhhhhhhh? I think im too adhd for that.
Any phobias? Im a bit scared of heights but not phobia scared.... hmm nothing else really.
Favorite childhood sport? baseball. which didnt exist here and no one cared about and was weird for me to be into since I cared naught for sport, generally.
Do you talk to yourself? Yuh. Incessantly. I do voices and stuff. Inherited it from my mother actually, so it's her fault.
What movies do you adore? Uptown girls, Imagine me and you and moonlight are all films Ive seen multiple times and have enjoyed everytime so those I guess :)
Coffee or Tea? Both! I love them both. idk I guess Iced coffees my number 1 girl but I have been havin tea every morning lately now its colder so.
First thing you wanted to be growing up? long haul truck driver is the main thing I ever remember really thinking Wow. that'd be so cool. ???? i wanted to sleep in the truck, particularly? and as I have said before, I believe I should have been a gay truck driving 60 yr old man named big Al but the universe had other plans, I guess.
this was fun! I tag any and all moots or followers who would like to do this, I'm always happy to learn things about you guys :)
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thank you to @daydreamingyuta for tagging me, love !!
get to know me !!!
do you make your bed? hehe no i dont. it’s always ready for me for bed, though !!
what is your favorite number? i’m gonna be honest i dont have one !! as an nctzen i do naturally go ballistic when i see 127, but i don’t have one specifically !!
what is your job? i work in a restaurant ! i am the expediter, the person who takes out the food. i really enjoy it, and i would recommend it
if you could go back to school, would you? yes! i am actually working for college to do some basic classes and to take art classes
can you parallel park? living in a small town where most of the parking is parallel, ive gotten pretty good at it
a job you had that would surprise people? nope! my job at this restaurant was my first and i am still employed there :)
do you think aliens are real? i like to believe that farther away our galaxy there are other civilizations just like us, alternate realities could even be real too. theres just so much out there the possibilities are endless! but yes, i do believe they can exist just not on earth
can you drive a manual car? LOL i can hardly drive an automatic
whats your guilty pleasure? causing trouble in online games to make people angry LOL
tattoos? NOOO but i want to get some so badly !! i want to get three cardinals on my back for the three men in my life that ive lost. my uncle, grandfather, and my other grandfather that i never could’ve met but wished i would’ve. i want to get stars on my knuckles and i want to get a saturn somewhere, unsure where, i was thinking my shoulder area ! i was also thinking about getting a tattoo of luxray, my favorite pokemon. but i would like to get tons of tattoos in the future !! i’m just super nervous because i have the worst pain tolerance ever
favorite color? i have more than one! blue, black, white, silver, and rose gold are my favorites !!
favorite type of music? i literally listen to anything and everything !! genres honestly dont exist to me anymore, if i like what i listen to i will like it and save it if not i wont ! i have over 7,000 songs on my liked songs and still counting !! i have a playlist for new releases/comebacks and new music in general, it’s SOOO outdated and i am VERY behind on it but i will literally listen to anything
do you like puzzles? yeah i do ! my favorite is word search
any phobias? OH MY GOD YES I AM SCARED OF AIR ATP !! insects, dark, thunderstorms (i love them but at the same time i’m terrified I KNOW IM WEIRD !!) theres more i just can’t remember them atm LOL. AI AND ROBOTS !! i HATE ai and robots
favorite childhood sport? t-ball LOL
do you talk to yourself? yeah LOL teachers in the past have made fun of me for talking to myself while doing things, sometimes i think better talking to myself
what movie(s) do you adore? NIMONA !!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT MOVIE i watched it for the first time like a month ago and i’ve seen it about seven times
coffee of tea? OK SUE ME !! both. i love red diamond sweet tea and drink it religiously, but i say yes to both because i do like coffee, but it has to be doctored up… a LOT. i like getting the starbucks glass caramel frappe thing and the mcdonads caramel frappe. it has to be that type of coffee, i don’t like any others
first thing you wanted to be growing up? i’ve always wanted to be an artist! always always. my goal is to now become a concept artist, for video games specifically. preferably character concept design !! for companies like riot, hoyoverse, even nintendo, etc.
hmm i wasnt sure who to tag so i closed my eyes and picked two lol! @phoxphenex and @mrkis !! no pressure you don’t have to !!
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Get to know me
Thank you @sflow-er you know how much j like doing these ahahahhah
Do you make your bed?
Not really, i try to but in reality i never get around to it
What's your favourite number?
3, 9 and 12. NOT 6
What is your job?
i currently have two jobs, one of which is a little hard to explain but essentially boils down to research in healthcare and the other is hospitality in the biggest tourist attraction in my country (which is a seasonal job). two VERY different jobs in very different sectors, hahah
If you could go back to school, would you?
I actually am still in uni and i do not feel any particular wish to go back to high school. I would, however, have chosen a different degree if i could start over again but thats a different story.
Can you parallel park?
Technically yes, i can, but i hate it and it takes ages so i avoid it at all costs.
A job you had that would surprise people?
actually most jobs ive done surprise people, but more so because nobody knows they exist as jobs. In high school i used to do delivery for the pharmacy and as mentioned before now the research job. both things most people dont know are things someone gets paid to do until i tell them hahah.
Do you think aliens are real?
realistically i dont think its possible at all that we are the only planet with living beings on it. i do believe that there are no aliens in our solar system, but i do not believe that in the entirety of the universe only one planet managed to create life. I also think that life might look very different on other planets but im convinced 'aliens' exist in some way shape or form
Can you drive a manual car?
Again, technically i can. but i try to avoid it all costs bc ive only driven automatic cars basically since i got my license lol
What's your guilty pleasure?
reading fic, even more guilty if its from a fandom im technically no longer into but i sometimes just get this weird nostalgic need, you know
Tattoos?
Not yet, i have a design and a place in mind but my family is very strongly opposed to all tattoos and i still see them often enough to be a little bit afraid
Favourite colour?
for clothes, blue or brown. for other things anything in the navy colour palette (so like burgundy and navy and other colours in those kinda hues)
Favourite type of music?
I honestly will listen to anythign that has a recognisable distinct melody (so mostly excluding metal, too heavy rock and some rap) but am especially fond of 2000s 2010s dance music or indie/pop music from anything between the 80s and the 2010s. Not a big fan of what seems to be more modern pop culture but i can appreciate a harry styles or a taylor swift every once in a while
Do you like puzzles?
Yes!!!!! anything that i can use my brain for im down
Any phobias?
creeped out by all bugs and spiders (yes, even the cute and pretty ones) and not a big fan of big animals. slightly uncomfortable at high heights, dont do well in the dark and very very very uncomfortable in small spaces
Favourite childhood sport?
Did gymnastics until i was about 7 and then switched the the loml that was swimming and did that all the way up until uni. hated anything involving running or a ball
Do you talk to yourself?
Not when im alone, sometimes when other people are present
What movies do you adore?
I tend to like any movie i watch. Special mention to knives out, megamind and bottoms though
Coffee or tea?
I like the fancy coffees when im out having a drink or having lunch, at home i prefer tea
What was the first thing you wanted to be growing up?
i dont remsmber what came first exactly but the three professions that had the most prominent part in my youth were hairdresser, teacher and most of all writer. I always liked writing and words and languages and making things but unfortunately that took a stark dive durong high school that im still recovering from lol
as usual consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing this ahah
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⌇Hajun (Joker) x F!Reader x Wooin (1)
Push me down, hold me down. Spit in my mouth while you turn me on I wanna take your light inside. Dim me down, snuff me out. Hands on my neck while you push it out and I'm screaming out „Give me tough love” ୨୧
╰┈➤ One of the Girls- The Weeknd
WARNINGS !! : Best friends to possible lovers, love triangle, mature themes, cringey jokes and fights, Wooin possible yandere behavior, angst kinda, Y/n rejection phobia (AGAIN, IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ) and this isn't edited.
Your ears were deafening the screams and cheers of the people surrounding the chained ring, uninterested, you sat on a couch that was placed a bit far, some feet away from the huge bar that also collected some buyers.
They were betting again.
The screen of your phone reflected in your eyes – you were playing your game peacefully, ignoring whoever was getting punched or who was punching.
The person next to you, your childhood best friend, who was also the one who convinced you to join the 'Sabbath crew' had his legs wide open, scaring any boy who wanted to make a small talk with you with those snake-like eyes of his, sucking on a lemon flavored lollipop.
"I know exactly you're not playing Roblox right now, are you?"
"...no, I'm not."
Wooin raised an eyebrow at you, scooting closer to look at the screen, scoffing when you quickly backed away, hiding your phone from exposure.
"You're playing Royale high!?"
"So what?! You wanna play with me or what? The only reason why I'm here is to wait for Joker."
The boy with piercings crossed rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you towards his body.
You tsked when hearing the loud announcers voice boom in your ears, a ringing beating in your ears after a victory tune played off.
„Flawless knockout!! What else did we expect from The JOKER”
"Can he like hurry up??"
"He can't, he's a turtle."
"He's faster than you??"
"No??"
"Yes??"
Putting a leg over the other, you leaned your head back, regretting that decision immediately when the lights of the ceiling blinded you.
"I'm here."
"Thank god! I was losing braincells with this dude."
Wooin flinched at your sudden outburst, oh, Joker was already here, he was grinning, until he realized what you just said.
"Wow! What an amazing friend you are, Y/n."
A vein popped on his forehead as you turned around to look at your best friend, almost cracking your neck up at him.
He had baby blue colored hair, a scar running down from his bottom lip to his jaw and a tattoo under his eye, right, you loved getting lost in them for hours.
"Don't come here again, its too dangerous for you."
Joker took your chin between his thumb and index finger when you looked away, you were used to it, but it still made your heart skip a beat, panicking.
"But I wanted to see you."
"Don't I always visit you after?"
"..."
Wooins existence was completely ignored and he hated that, pinching your waist to make you turn your attention back on him–only to be met with a harsh slap on his shoulder.
It wasn't very effective but it made him laugh.
"Whatever, let's go before I pinch your ass next Y/n."
You were rethinking all of your decisions back then of befriending this motherfucker, seriously, he's so weird. The atmosphere didn't lighten one bit, oh yeah, Joker was still behind you guys, with his expressionless face.
"Are you finished Joker?"
"Maybe not him but I'm about to–"
A death stare made him smirk like crazy, Wooin loved that face of yours, it made him excited.
Why couldn't there be a black hole that just swallows Wooin forever and shuts him up? You are 100% sure that the world would come to its peace if he, for once held his mouth.
You liked Wooin more when he's on mute. Jk
"I'm done. come here Y/n"
"Yessir!"
Wrapping your arm around a more muscular one, Wooins face of jealousy was quickly replaced when you grabbed him by the hand so he tagged along.
୨୧
Joker was munching on his red apple, the juice of the fruit exploding in his oral cavity with each bite he took, his eyes were draped on your figure, gossiping with Wooin in the front seat.
"Damn...she had prove too?"
"I know right?"
He swallowed– startled when you turned your head to look at him, at the fruit in his hand specifically, gasping. "Share some!"
"This was my last."
"Give me a bite."
He held up his tattooed arm, the apple in his hand and you wrapped your smaller hand around his wrist, taking a huge bite out of the red fruit.
Flabbergasted, Jokers lips but no words came out so he finished his snack off.
"Y/n. He allowed a bite. A bite. Half of the apple is gone. Please elaborate."
"Iwm hhgungry."
Wooin sighed, starting the engine of the car so he could go buy something for the three of you. "What do you guys want?"
"I love you so much I could literally smooch you right now. Get me a double Cheese burger and a large milkshake."
"Burgers."
Wow, its the personality switch for Wooin. Whatever, you were allowed to do that. "I expect my kiss." He left the car, getting inside the place.
"Joker."
"Hm?"
The male waited for you to turn around and lock eye contact with him. "You know what im thinking?" he stopped himself from smiling.
"Yeah."
"You drive."
He shook his head and you gave him a big, sad frown. "Let's wait for him to get us the food first, then we can leave without him."
Your face beamed, the boy still held no expression, maybe its the small things that you didnt notice... The way his eyes softened.
His large hand was placed ontop of your head, automatically matching the smirk on your own face. Partners in crime.
"He's back."
You looked in the direction Joker was gesturing to with his a simple glance of his eyes, it was none other than the black haired Wooin, holding plastics bags with one hand and a cup with the other.
"My Milkshake!"
You took it from him as he handed the bags over to the other person in the backseat. You sipped on your drink, moving your legs up and down happily.
"Let me try."
Was this Jokers revenge? You handed him the Milkshake receiving the food you told Wooin to bring you.
"Say aah."
The driver complied and you fed him some fries and Jokers eyes lit up. "Me too, I want fries."
୨୧
You all went to your apartment when tho you had no plan if letting them in, you allowed it just for today. "Touch anything and I'll kill you."
This was meant specifically for Wooin who had a habit of snooping and sniffing around your stuff like a damn dog.
The place wasn't too small or too big, it was perfect. You were met with a corridor that led to your living room where a punch bag sat from the ceiling.
It was for Joker but he set it up in your house because he wanted to teach you how to defend youself.
Joker made his was to the fridge, putting in the rest overs of the food and taking out three red-bulls, giving one to Wooin and the other for you.
"Here."
"Thanks babe"
You blew him a kiss, walking inside your room to change, not noticing the way his eyes lingered on you for too long until you shut the door of your room.
Wooin soon exited the bathroom just as you left your room. "So are you two sleeping over?" One agreed in he speed of light, cutting the other one off.
Guess who was who. "Then go fetch your clothes from my wardrobe, Wooin I'm warning you. Joker, baby, can you help me?"
This wasn't the first time they slept over, they've been doing it since years so you had collected some of their clothes on that journey.
"Oh and, Joker don't forget to text your brothers that you'll be staying here."
He nodded and stood up at your request, entering your room so he could get the mattresses for him and Wooin who was getting their clothes.
"Why didn't you ask me for help?"
"Wooin. You have the build of a 5 year old, you're barely 5'10ft tall."
"Because that length went somewhere else."
You clapped your hands one time. "Alright! Thats enough bullshit for today, see you–" a pillow thrown at your face cut you off.
"Oh now you're getting it you midget."
The pillow was thrown right back at Wooin who caught it while sitting. And it went on like that between you two until you had enough, storming towards him to smash it against his head.
Joker sat on his phone, texting his younger brother–Shutting the device to be met with a scene of Wooin laying on top of you, his head on your chest.
But wooins slender arms wrapped around your torso, tackling you to the ground. "Get off me! You're heavy!!!" You whined, hitting his back with small fists.
"But I thought I was small?"
He was acting so arrogant!! Your legs were kicking up and down beside his body were squashed you to the floor.
A loud scream made the dull Joker purse his lips, you bit Wooin, his hand to be exact and it made him sit up so you took it as a chance to crawl away but fingers wrapped around your ankle.
"No!!! Joker help me!"
A evil giggle left your lips when a strong force almost made your attacker fly, it was just a cushion that hit his face.
You hurried to Jokers embrace from your childhood friend, sitting on top of his lap so his arms naturally wrapped around your body.
Wooins gaze burned blank before he returned his signature feature, his smirk which was awfully forced. "Let's watch a movie!"
The pool of jealousy that he swallowed down started to take action inside him when you didnt move, only turning around, still with Joker, big arms locking locked together beneath your chest.
His fists clenched but he kept his cool, why wouldn't you realize that it bothered him to way you flirted with Joker? Maybe it was taking him time to realize it himself?
Wooin was trying his best with you but you only saw him as a player, it wasn't like this when you two were kids, you loved him back then, attached to him at the hip while peppering him with kisses.
Everything he went through, you stood by side. His fragile heart that was protected by a cage that he build up only beat for you.
"–Wooin?"
No matter how many women tried, he only saw you.
"Wooin!!"
He looked up at you, now realizing that you were standing in front of him. "You wanted to watch a movie, right? Get changed I'll go get some snacks!"
Joker had already changed, when did he even get the chance?
୨୧
School was calling your name, two days had passed since your two friends slept over, the day after that you three hung out at random parks and you just let them doing their own things.
You hated that deal that they were upon, about the race and everything, they were giving out some drops that could increase your ability when racing.
They were just dogs for that white haired weirdo who made them test them on people, you didnt say anything and stood far away when they did.
Sanghoe, he tried to lure threaten you into also giving out these dopes but you didnt listen to single word he said, slamming the door in his face that night.
There was once a time where you spoke to Wooin about it but he wasn't even trying to listen!! So you just cut it out, knowing that his stubborn ass wouldn't take your advice.
Just the thought made you angry, you hated it when someone took a blind eye to something that could be and IS dangerous.
You pat Jays back, he has been stressing ever since Shellys friend from England came to visit her or whatever was going on.
His name was Owen. Most of the girls were swept of their feet when they saw him, you couldn't say he wasn't handsome, because he was.
But he just...wasn't your type.
Shelly stomped in the classroom, running over to your arms. "Y/n please keep me from exploding like a Volcano!!" You smiled weakly, your eyes landing on her friend who entered after her.
Oh. Owen had a big thing for Shelly but she didn't like him, being together with Jay and all but for some reason he never understood that.
You also hated people like him. Was there something fogging their brains or what?
To best honest, you thought they were siblings or twins at first...
୨୧
You had duty to clean up today so you texted Joker that you were gonna go home by yourself but he insisted to pick you up after even though you told him not to.
It was so hot so you untied your tie, opening the first few buttons of your white shirt that was beneath the blazer of the school, the tattoo above your heart peeking out a bit.
You, Wooin and Joker had the same tattoo done at the same day.
Exhausted, you opened the windows so air could refresh the disgusting classroom, cleaning the desks one by one before moving to the board that was whitened up with the chalk.
"Hey"
Your heart almost flew out of its place, you turned to the direction of the sound and there he stood, the Blondie who was head over heels for Shelly.
"What? "
Embarrassed at your accent while speaking English, you continued to wipe the gigantic board, not paying attention to him.
"You're close to Shelly, right? "
"Yeah, why? "
The male looked sorrowful, sitting on one of the desks as he watched your form as you jumped a few times to reach the highest part of the board.
"Just wondering..."
"Wait, can you wipe the top part? "
A figure towered over you, the eraser being taken from your hands as Owen helped you, taking the job because he reached the last part.
"...what does Shelly see in Jay? I'm much more handsome than him! "
He backed away and you seeked for a joking look in his face, but he wasn't. "Your attitude, its good to be confident, but fix it."
Owen looked at you like you just murdered someone. "What's wrong with my attitude?! Its perfect! I'm perfect! "
"Right, then how about you grow some balls and ask her yourself? Can't you see that she's dating him! Obviously she doesn't want you."
You scolded, placed your hands on your hips, glaring up at the male whos gaze was now on your opened shirt, noticing the tattoo.
"Bye."
Was the last thing you said before disappearing, leaving Owen behind. His hand brushed back his air, anger showing on his features.
୨୧
Joker leaned against the wall, waiting for you to get out of the school. The moment you did, he fixed his posture, taking a few steps towards you.
His eyes slid down to your exposed skin, his eyebrows knitting. Joker tugged on the red fabric, pulling you closer so he could work his way to close your shirt, with you wailing.
"No, its too hot..."
A glare was send your way and you put your warm hand over his cold one, showing him that you weren't freezing at all.
"Its cold. Now get on."
Jabbing his thumb in direction of his motorcycle, you took the helmet, wearing it then got on behind Joker, holding onto him.
It was like a needle that landed on your skin, an icy one, followed by many after it and soon it was pouring. The rain didnt stop as the sky got darker, the only source of light being other cars, the motorcycle, some lamps and signs that were discarded for people to reach a shop.
You rested your head on Jokers back, fluttering your lashes shut as you enjoyed the nice breeze, the constant droplets ringing into the music of cars beeping and tires screeching against the road.
You guys came to a stop and you were convincing Joker to come in with you because he could catch the flu by the way both of you were drenched in water.
He gave up eventually, allowing you to drag him inside and listing to your instructions as you told him to take off his clothes at the do step, not wanting to wet the carpet. You took off your uniform, wearing your leggings beneath.
Joker looked away, stealing some glances only to focuses on the floor again as you guided him to your room, leaving the boy at your bed with clothes as you changed in the bathroom, coming back with towels.
"Let me dry your hair."
As the cloth absorbed the rain water from his fluffy hair, the doorbell rang for you to go and open it. "Wooin? get inside, you'll get sick!"
You took the boy in, his hair was sticking against his forehead as hard breathes left his lungs, checking you out under those fogged glasses of his.
Wooins shirt stuck to his body, leaving an imprint of his abs visible for the eye, his gaze was hazy and you shivered at the contact of grasp on your face.
"Get me something to wear, will you?"
You nodded, Joker exiting your room to see a wet Wooin, freeing his body from the now tight shirt as he replaced his friends place in your room.
Wooins muscles flexed as he dried up his own hair, his glasses long discarded on the table next to your bed. "Y/n you're a life saver."
"What did I do?"
"Live close by, that's what. I was about to become a block of ice!!"
Your lips curled up in a smile that had Wooin linger his eyes on, wondering how his heart hasn't just cut through his flesh and seated itself on your palm already.
You were about to walk away but a strong grip kept your place, your childhood friend made you close the gap between your bodies, hugging you as if you would vanish like a ghost the next second.
Fuck...the way you ran your sweet hands through his damp hair made Wooin clench his jaw, why couldn't you be like you were back then?
It hurt him. It was ripping apart the strings that his most important organ was attached on.
Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you kept stroking his head, two strong arms slithering around your neck made you gasp.
Jokers body heat collided on your back as he hugged you, face buried in your shoulder, blue hairs tickling your face.
You were sandwiched between the two, heart pumping like crazy, there was Wooin who's skin was like snow when touching with yours and Jokers whos was the polar opposite, scorching like a erupted volcano.
Wooin was trapped in a white bubble, a train of thoughts kept him intact of reality. You stopped getting close with him after he started going and 'sleeping' around with girls.
But oh he could swear he never kissed any of them, he was seeing you whenever he went out with someone. They were simply a cheap placement of you to play out his imaginations on, to feel the love that you weren't allowing him to take from you.
He could die, he wanted you to touch him. He was desperate to feel you, but you acted so oblivious to it, it made Wooin angry.
However, Joker kept his feelings to himself, locking them inside his chest, using the concrete wall he built, denying any of the admiration he had for you.
Maybe he was overdoing it, but you saved him, Joker felt free when he was with you. And he prayed that that would last forever.
He tried keeping his cool but you never failed to make butterflies flutter in his chest, your smile made him drown, choking every time you flashed him one.
It was hard for Joker too, trying his best not to just cage you against the wall and decorate you with kisses and marks to prove others that you were his and his only.
You were perfect for him, worrying and reminding him about his brothers, sometimes going over to his to cook for them and help around, even when he didn't ask that from you.
Joker wanted you for himself.
But that wouldn't work. No, he wasn't stupid, he noticed the way Wooin treated you in comparison to all the other girls and boys (even Joker himself got a different treatment) he toyed around with.
The way Wooins cunning personality just withered away, the way he showed his true colors when he was with you.
Joker knew that him and Wooin only felt safe in your arms.
And yours only.
Nobody else could make these two turn into putty in mere seconds other than you.
You want something? The next day it was in front if your door. Someone bothering you? They were dealt with personally. Feeling sad? Two warm hugs + cuddles, snacks and movies on their way.
It wasn't just you who got this treatment, but you returned every action they gave you. Your door was always the only one who was open for them.
Joker and Wooin could always tell you anything without feeling suffocated or regretting it.
You just understood them, and they understood you.
You were like the middle puzzle piece that held them together. The three of you were always matching, no matter what.
Now...It was scary, none of you able to speak about your true intentions.
These two were idiots if they believed that you didnt like them. You didn't what to hurt anyone. There was a decision to be made.
But you didnt want to decide, can't you have them both?
You loved Wooin, not because he's your childhood friend but because of how he treats you like you were worth more than a gem.
He was so gentle with you and you physically and mentally felt it. And Joker of the way he is, caring, always thinking of you.
Joker wasn't the richest and you know that, you didn't even give a fuck about those things but the fact that he tried made you melt.
He looks like he could murder (and would) but he was one of the sweetest people you knew, he didnt show it but his actions did.
There wasn't a time where you were left out when with these two. Joker and Wooin always made sure there was a space between the two for you, whether in a cinema, restaurant or a simple walk.
The familiar taste of metal made you swallow hard, blood seeped out of the rip of flesh while you bit down on your lips, licking it away with your tongue but it kept appearing to the surface.
The hug was broken apart by the boy sitting on the bed, the one behind you following after. You didnt know why you felt so empty, like a shell with no insides. The sad feeling made it hard to breathe.
You plopped down on your bed, hiding your face in the pillow, you were scared, you didn't want to ruin the relationship you had with them.
Scared of rejection.
They probably didn't like you, seeing you as a friend only. You hated this need of dragging yourself down to a standard, keep your delusions to yourself.
You felt a small shatter in your weak heart, did they love you or not? Because you think you're an idiot for liking them both.
But how could you not? Affection from others didn't work either...it was only like this with Wooin and Joker.
Closing your eyes, you felt the bed dip, an arm around your shoulder and a body laying next to yours.
Another person laid next to you on the other side, you could hear their heartbeats from here...it made you relax, stimulating your overworked brain into deep slumber.
"She's asleep."
"Hm."
"Joker?"
The boxer made a humming noise, he never took his eyes off you, your back moved along with the movement of your lungs, exhaling...inhaling sluggishly.
"I think I love her."
Well, he wasn't expecting a confession right here, right now. "She's my childhood friend. I don't care if a billion people also do,"
wooin sat up, looking Joker dead in the eye, the usual, scary glint that swirled in his eyes making the baby-blue haired male zip his lips, "Im gonna make her mine. I hate sharing but... If that's– never mind, forget it."
Now Joker was left perplexed as Wooin reconsidered his words then went to sleep, maybe this was a sign for Joker to allow his body to rest...eyeing you until his brain also shut off.
He was getting intoxicated with the smell of flowery shampoo that come from you, overtaking his senses and Joker was waiting for you to appear in his dreams tonight again.
Grrr should I continue this? I want to make a smut part but like...idk
Anyway, I hope you liked this and sorry for any mistakes!!
#joker x reader#manhwa#windbreaker#joker windbreaker#x reader#wooin windbreaker#wooin x reader#jay jo x reader#jay jo#ignore the rest of the tags#tags for reach#jjk#anime and manga#boxing#smut#long post#divider by cafekitsune
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2022 has been, surprisingly, the best year of my life so far. and I’m 31.
i had some very bad times, i struggled with depression and social phobia since i was a young teen, i’ve harmed myself in multitude ways and i came close to killing myself a few times.
im still here and im feeling the best and its only getting better.
theres a lot of asks on the internet along the nature of, what would you tell your younger self if you could?
and i found my answer. yeah, its cheesy, but: it gets better. it does. im the proof. ive been so very, incredibly, despairingly bad. i never believed i’d make it past 25. i literally could not imagine a future. especially not a future where i learned to live with myself AND love myself.
and i do. i absolutely love myself. i love who i am. with all my faults, with all my quirks, with all my annoying behaviors, with all my scars and all the bits and pieces society tells me i should hate about me. i love myself.
im not completely “cured”. i dont know if that is possible. i still struggle with things, there are still many things that scare me and that i dont dare to do. but it gets with each and every day. every day is a success, and every success makes the next step easier. i dont think ill ever stop having depression or social anxiety, but at this point in my life? my depression is at the lowest, ever. my standard day-to-day mood is neutral. its neutral. its not sad. its not depressed. its not despaired. its fucking neutral. i no longer dread getting up each and every day.
i wake up, get up and im looking forward to the day. im looking forward to do fun things, eat yummy stuff and just be alive and exist.
it gets better. but it takes work. the single most important thing for me was therapy. yeah. it helps. therapy helped me go from acutely suicidal to no longer wanting to kill myself. a huge, huge, huge fucking success. and therapy gave me tools for self-improvement.
it sounds silly, but those little tricks help. talk to yourself kindly, always. the biggest thing for me was to stop negative self-talk. it will still happen, but just let it go. ignore it, dont ponder on it, roll your eyes at those dumb things and think to yourself firmly “no, that is not true. im good. im kind. im nice. im funny. i deserve to live and to be happy. with all my faults and all my strengths.” it works, honestly.
(and yes, exercise and fresh air helps too, sorry! :D go stretch!!!)
anyway, back to 2022: WHAT A GREAT YEAR, WOW!
here my personal 2022 wrapped:
- put up wallpaper and painted my whole apartment, on my own, wow!
- got a cat, wow!
- got back together with my abusive ex but also broke up with him again and its almost 2023 and ive got not desire to get back to them, nice!
- went to a concert alone, amazing!
- went swimming by myself, such fun!
- bought a standing desk which i admittedly only used thrice for standing but is nice for adjusting height while sitting too!
- successfully made my favourite cake thats a bit difficult to do several times, so yummy!
- got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking meds (im off them currently again, i can deal okay-ish but i want to get back on)!
- found new music/artists that i love to listen to!
- celebrated my 2 year vegan anniversary and 2 years living by myself and doing a banging job about it! :)
- went on walks, managed to relax more and do more fulfilling things on the weekend instead of just mindlessly browsing, aw yeah!
- managed to drill holes into the walls to hang up my pinboard (has been waiting for 2 years), nice!
- discovered THREE whole new hobbies that i LOVE: needle felting, needle punch and embroidery! such stabbery! (hobbies, esp those you do with your hands are amazing for your self-esteem & mental health!)
(at least half of these can be attributed to being diagnosed with adhd and me finally knowing how to deal with the things im struggling with, hooray!)
happy 2022! happy holidays! happy slide into the next year folks!!!!
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Stray Kids (Chan, Minho, Hyunjin) flirting with you headcanons
BANG CHANNIE
-literally the cutest and the smoothest boy ever existed
-would ask you if you need any help, would always be there for you
-good morning and good night texts everyday even if he is really tired and cannot keep his eyes open
-would ask you everything about you, just to know how to behave around you(just in case you are having some traumas or phobias)
- would buy you dessert everyday and he would always have time to talk to you
-if you haven't alreday realised that he likes you, I mean you are the only person he treats like this
-but okay maybe you think he is just the nicest person ever existed on this planet, i mean he is
-he would confess to you, like confidently would grab your hands very gently, and hold them and say " y/n i really like you"
-you would be a blushing mess and could not speak, so he would kiss you, and then your face would become even reder if thats even possible
-he would be the smoothest and would love you like nobody else could, so please love him back
LEE MINHO
-okay this boy would be or really flirty or would bully you
-he would always know how to talk to you and would give you small gifts like chocolate or candies, but would tell you something like "okay fatass there you go i bought this to you so better eat it" you would get confused like wtf just happened
-he would always grab a chance to like touch you(not in wrong way) like to touch your hair or hands, he would hold your hands and say "i am only this because your hands are warm"
-but in reality everytime he sees you he just wants to confess to you and tell you how much he likes you, but is afraid of rejection
-you two would be having a normal conversation and then you would ask about his cats, oh girl he wants to marry you and you are not even dating
-one day, he saw you with some guy in city eating ice cream, hes hurt and jealous but he knows that is not right because you are not his
-you saw him and started yelling and calling him across the street while waving with your ice cream, such a silly mess you are, he would come and grab your ice cream and lick it and say " almost sweet as you" okay you are spechless, lee minho thinks you are sweet? LEE MINHO THINKS YOU ARE SWEET?
-and then you would introduce your friend to minho, oh boy his face is sour and hes like okay who is this, you would say a whole story of your childhood friend, minho still stressed
-your friend would say like "y/n is that a hot guy you told me about"
-you are dead, like minho knows you like, you are devasteted
-then minho says " of course my girlfriend would think i am hot"
-you think you are dreaming, this is not happening, and NOW HE IS KISSING YOU LEE MINHO IS KISSING YOU
-then you heard a noise of your ice cream flopped on the flour
-and okay this makes no sense but minho is a smooth bitch
HWANG HYUNJINNIE
-oh okay hes not flirting with you, you are flirting with him
-hyunjin is having a crush on you, since he met you and you are having a crush on him since you met him, soooo you two are the funniest thing ever
-you are complimenting each other all the time, and when around other members hyunjin is always near you
-you are the prettiest girl he ever met so he is afraid that other boys would like you since you two are not dating
-in reality the boys are shippers, they already talked about you two getting married how much you love each other
-hyunjin one day saw a youtube video named "send this to your crush" he was doubting all day should he send you this and just left it not making a decision, so he just turned off his phone while im Youtube and went to see you and the boys
-oh god you two looked at each other and talked about nonsenses, the boys watched you in awe, so you asked hyunjin to show him a yt video of funny dogs, but your phone was dead
-you opened the yt app and saw the video he was watching previously and you asked with sad tone "you thought to send this to somebody", he was scared and panicked and said "YES YOU, YOU ARE MY CRUSH" he literally rapped it, but you understood
-you kissed him and said " like you two jinnie"
-the boys started screaming and chan just started yelling at them to shut up
(this is my first time writing anything so please dont attack me, and i hope you like it, i literally dont know what it is ahahha)
#chris bang#kpop#lee minho#hwang hyunjin#stray kids#stray kids x you#stray kids x y/n#hyunjin x you#bangchan x you#lee minho x you#lee know#lee know x you#skz x reader#bangchan x reader#hyunjin x reader#minho x reader#lee know x reader
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hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.
Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go:
CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia
I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.
So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).
Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.
To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight.
Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc.
These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn.
Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair.
Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves.
Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them.
And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn.
Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums.
Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)
“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)
but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one.
Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)
I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.
Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation.
Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so.
A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.
An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene.
Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read.
Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t.
Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive.
Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol.
Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”
This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else.
When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.
what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.
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okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)
oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny
honeypie - jawny
pretty young thing - michael jackson
mirrors - justin timberlake
sunflower - red orange county
paradise - rude-a
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
a therapist.
ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...
*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english
"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book
4: What do you think about most?
the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
Ok
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer
7: What’s your strangest talent?
not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
girls are pretty. boys are pretty
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
uhh i think last month?
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
yep, beloved legos as a lil child
13: What’s your religion?
i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind it.
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes
17: What was the last lie you told?
i know what i want
18: Do you believe in karma?
yes, the rule of three specifically
19: What does your URL mean?
i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
nope
23: How do you vent your anger?
i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
they be chilling.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
i dunno tbh
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
which one is less homophobic?
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
to make it easier for people down the line
36: Define Art.
make thing, thing goes woo
37: Do you believe in luck?
yis
38: What’s the weather like right now?
it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze
39: What time is it?
12.59 am
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.
41: What was the last book you read?
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.
43: Do you have any nicknames?
many variations of my name, aka. Luce
44: What was the last film you saw?
i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
once, years ago
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
hmmm horizon zero dawn i think
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
proud pansexual ^^
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh
50: Do you believe in magic?
yis
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.
52: What is your astrological sign?
cancer ♋
53: Do you save money or spend it?
i attempt saving. attempt
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc
55: Love or lust?
luv
56: In a relationship?
nope, i buy my own cookies
57: How many relationships have you had?
1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
nu ><
59: Where were you yesterday?
on the fields walking my doggo
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
yis, thicc warm socks
62: What’s your favourite animal?
cats
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
cuddles and food.
64: Where is your best friend?
bold of you to assume i have a best friend.
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector
66: What is your heritage?
I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
sleeping, trying to sleep.
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
Pinkton. or Satan.
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
trust.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
history maker - dean fujioka :]
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
3332
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
communication, trust, some more communication.
77: How can I win your heart?
let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
demon boi
82: What is your favourite word?
socks.
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
blinding lights - the weeknd
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.
87: What is your current desktop picture?
like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
this. this is the question.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO
uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
not any that i know of o.o
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
i think i may have but i honestly don't remember
98: Ever been on a plane?
nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
yeet.
#that was long#probably because my stubborn ass wanted to make pretty formatting#shiishki.rambles#shiishki.interacts with tommie
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Weird Asks That Say A Lot
I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am
1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says
2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops
3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy
4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-
5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws
6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel
7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds
8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person
9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why
10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much
11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,,
12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist
13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring
14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!
15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh
16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl
17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3
18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold
19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)
20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything
21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters
22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation
23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it
24. Favorite crystal? Citrine
25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf
26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning
27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat
28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande
29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard
30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture
31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable
32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble
33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"
34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC
35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am
36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth
37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase
38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!
39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake
40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭
41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))
42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets
43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%
44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell
45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy
46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-
47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!
48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why
49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy
50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible
51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe
52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans
53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished
54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious
55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?
56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun
57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with
58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue
59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches
60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk
61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."
62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked
63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh
64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO
65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻♀
66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔
67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet
68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-
69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely
70. Left or right handed? Right
71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag
72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-
73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes
74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it
75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten
76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes
77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents
78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station
79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure
80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones
81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more
82. PC or console? PC
83. Writing or drawing? Both
84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely
84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie
85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales
86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s
87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love
88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother
89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family
90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀
91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-
92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!
93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀
94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures
95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨
96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu
97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5
98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))
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1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
9: Are you ticklish?
10: Are you allergic to anything?
11: What’s your sexuality?
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
16: How tall are you?
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
21: Are you religious?
22: Pet peeves?
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
24: Favorite constellation?
25: Favorite star?
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
27: Any phobias or fears?
28: Do you think global warming is real?
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
30: Favorite movie?
31: Do you get scared easily?
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
34: What is a color that calms you?
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
36: Where were you born?
37: What is your eye color?
38: Introvert or extrovert?
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
40: Hugs or kisses?
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
43: Any piercings you want?
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
47: What is a sound you really hate?
48: A sound you really love?
49: Can you do a backflip?
50: Can you do the splits?
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
52: Favorite movie?
53: How are you feeling right now?
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
55: When did you feel happiest?
56: Something that calms you down?
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
58: What does your URL mean?
59: What three words describe you the most?
60: Do you believe in evolution?
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
62: What makes you follow a blog?
63: Favorite kind of person:
64: Favorite animal(s):
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
66: Favorite emoticon:
67: Favorite meme:
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
69: What is your star sign?
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
72: Post a selfie or two?
73: Do you have platform shoes?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
75: Can you do a front flip?
76: Do you like birds?
77: Do you like to swim?
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
81: Piercings you have?
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
83: Favorite person to talk to:
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
85: How many followers do you have?
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
87: Do your socks always match?
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
89: What are your birthstones?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
92: A store you hate?
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
95: Do you like to wear camo?
96: Winter or summer?
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
98: Least favorite person?
99: Someone you look up to:
100: A store you love?
101: Favorite type of shoes
102: Where do you live?
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
105: Do you drink milk?
106: Do you like bugs?
107: Do you like spiders?
108: Something you get paranoid about?
109: Can you draw:
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
111: A question you hate being asked?
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
116: Favorite cloud type:
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
118: Do you have freckles?
119: Favorite thing about a person:
120: Fruits or vegetables?
121: Something you want to do right now:
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
123: Sweet or sour foods?
124: Bright or dim lights?
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
128: What do you think about the least?
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
133: Computer or TV?
134: Do you like roller coasters?
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
137: Do you believe in karma?
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
144: What makes you angry
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
147: Are you androgynous?
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
156: What embarrasses you?
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
159: How many people are you following?
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
163: Last time you cried and why:
164: Do you have long or short hair?
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?
1. im ok with my height
2. Australian Shepard
3. not really.is a sweatshirt and leggings a style?
4. wii
5. probably like the 5 people i talk to every day, hamilton, music
6. i thought of like 6 different things..
7. idk you pick something and ill answer it
8. fuck idk
9. YES BUT IF YOU TICKLE ME BE PREPARE TO BE KICKED
10. just pollen
11. straight
12. all three.
13. both
14. mermaid hehe i love swimming
15. no
16. 5′ 7″
17. eliza idk i like my name
18. no
19. nope
20. ocean
21. kinda more like my dad and stepmom are so like i kinda am too. idrk.
22. people umm idk
23. i dont know
24. i dont have one. they all kinda just look like stars to me..
25. ^^
26. wtf is that
27. heights. spiders. snake. most bugs in general. sleeping bags.
28. absoultely
29. no
30. H.A.M.I.L.T.O.N
31. i get startled pretty easily but like actually scared, a little less easly
32.fuck alot. ummm i think 14 not including all the fish ive had
33.well its anon so...
34. idk.
35. new york, paris, austria, irleand,
36. in the same town i have lived in my whole life
37. meduim brown
38. both..
39. naw
40. both
41. my mutals
42. my best friendsssss
43. i want another percing on my ear
44. ig
45. no
46. no thank you :)
47. i hate the sound of things being hit on metal
48. lin manuel mirandas voice <3
49. nope
50.NOPE
51. LIN. MANUEL. MIRANDA.
52. HAMILTON
53. im feeling good
54. the color that it is.....
55. idfk
56. listening for music
57. not that i know of
58. it means elizard hamilton
59. music. friends. art. thats probably not what it meant but idk
60. yes
61. being and asshole
62. hamilton and fanfics, mostly
63. idk what this means
64. DOGS. CATS. PANDAS. MOST ANIMALS.
65.i have wayyyy more than three tho.....
66. idk.
67. i dont have one.
68. i dont know what that is...
69. aquaruis...?
70. no ones old and ones dumb
71. probably my pjs or my london tshirt and jeans/leggings
72. if anyone reminds me i will lol. i doubt anyone will read all of these tho.
73.yes but i dont wear them cause i cant walk in heals
74. idk....
75. fuck no
76. yea
77. YES I LOVE SWIMMING
78. swimmingggg
79. wasps
80. every broadway show ever to be profretionally recorded.
81. i have two in each ear but i rarely wear the bottom one
82. paiting
83.any one of my best friends.
84. memes. depressed people. fandoms
85.166
86. fuck no.
87. nope. like %80 of the time they dont match
88. sometimes
89. amithest.
90. idk
91. daisiessss
92. idfk
93. 0-2
94.read minds
95. ..idk
96. WINTER
97. idk
98. this ass hole i used to be friends with. he was a racist dick and very toxic
99. i d k
100. idk
101. converse
102. Washington
103. No
104. idk
105. yes
106. some
107. nooooo
108. most things lol
109. kinda
110. idk
111. idrk
112. yea but just like tiny spiders
113. yessssssss
114. sunny unless its raining
115. i dont know.
116. i dont fuccking know
117. blue...?
118. i wishhhh
119 personality
120. vegitables
121. watch hamilton
122. sky
123. sweet, i dont like sour things
124. dim
125. no
126. idk
127. my friends <3
128. what does this mean...
129. idfk
130. my brother
131. basically everything about me
132. sometimes but not really.
133. computer
134. FUCK YEA
135. no
136.what?
137. no
138. 6.7
139. ri ri, ri, genie, honey, riles, bitch, eliza, weirdo, trash, riley elizabeth gene (not my name)
140. no
141. once. but i was super awkward and didnt talk the enitre time amd never saw her again. i probably need theriapy
142. good
143. giving
144. racists, terfs, people who are assholes
145. 1
146. boys
147. what is that
148. my eyes :P
149. idk
150. lexi. peggy. alex.
151. early brodway era
152. yes. sometimes its a problem
153. LOL IM SINGLE
154. yess
155. yos. espisally when my friends hate it so i do it to mess with them
156. my family. talking about my life with my family. sharing things i like with my family, talking about who i like.
157. preforming
158. how i met my best friend. its a long story but ill say if anyone wants me to
159. 142
160. 3563
161. 7
162. 4641
163. i dont know
164. long
165. probably now is the longest its been. or like kindergarden lol
166. ?
167. no
168. a little
169. hell naw
170. yea.
HOLY FUCK THAT TOOK SO FUCKING LONG
thank you anon
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Making a challenge
1. Do you make your bed? Naaah 2. Favorite number: 11 3. What’s your job: not existent 4. If you could go back to school would you? I'm still in school and i like studying so... yea 5. Can you parallel park? i don't have a drivers license 6. Job you had that would surprise people: i dont have any 7. Do you think aliens are real? Hecc yeah 8. Can you drive a manual car? Bruh i can't drive a car im too young 9. What’s your guilty pleasure? Instant noodles and cuddles. Im addicted. 10. Tattoos? I dont have any but i think i want one in the future i don't know what tho. 11.Favorite color: A yellow so mellow it's basically orange but ill call it yellow anyway 12. Favorite type of music: mostly alternative rock, Metal, J-songs and lofi. 13. Things people do that drive you crazy: Close mindedness and not staying in touch with their empathy. 14. Do you like doing puzzles? Y E S 15.favorite childhood sport? Dancing. I loved just dance (the first one)! 16. Phobias? I don't have anxiety, but i am extremely scared of dogs.. everytime i see a dog i need to get away immediately. 17. Do you talk about yourself? If were close yes. If not, nope 18. What movie do you adore? I love animated movies a lot since animation is so deeply facinating to me. I also unironically love stupid teen movies 19. Coffee or tea? Tea! hot cocoa is dope too 20. First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? Either a baker or teacher.
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This was a lot more that i thought for some reason, the answers are pretty short and to the point so if you want me to elaborate on something a bit more feel free to ask :)
@rockshortage
What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…
Did a take a test to figure this out? Why yes, yes I did. ISFP-T, or Adventurer is what I got for Archer.
Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?
He sure does, but he doesn’t really know what it is. He mostly just thinks he’s going literally insane. It’s a pretty big reason for him not sticking around people very much even though he craves affection.
Are they good at handling change in their life?
No not really, Archer has a hard time, now more than ever trying to keep his simple life together, he’d prefer it not change as much as possible.
Is your OC a martyr?
He tries pretty hard not to be, or at least to not show that he is. He sees the truth though.
Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?
Archer is pretty straight forward, if he fucked up he’ll say something. But he’ll make things up for others if he like them enough.
Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?
I guess it depends? If its not something that matters very much, compromise will be easier, but if he thinks it’s important then he’s going to be harder to bargain with.
Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?
Only his dogs and his friends needs get put before his own. Anyone else? so sorry.
Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?
He’s addicted to taking in animals? Seems harmless, but in truth he does it so he has a reason to keep living, which isn’t healthy. I can’t say he’d still be alive if he hadn’t taken Ranger and Fletcher with him the day those raiders killed the rest of his dogs.
Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?
He’s terrified of needles. Thanks mom and dad.
Is your character empathetic?
He is, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to care.
Is your character observant?
Yes, very. Probably because he works with animals a lot, and its very important to notice their body language, so he can read people and situations pretty well. Plus he’s more of a sniper so being observant is important.
What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?
He was really proud when he finished building his house, and all the furniture for it.
Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?
He doesn’t get jealous very easily, but even when he does he doesn’t bring it up. He’ll sulk around a bit, and when asked he’ll say he fine. He wont really feel bad about if? Its just an emotion, it happens sometimes.
What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?
Seeing people hurt animals for no reason. He will throw down. Might not win, but its the thought that counts.
Are they harsh on themselves?
YES.
Do they make excuses often?
Nah he’s pretty fast to admit when he’s doing something wrong.
Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?
I mean i didn’t make him like super ugly? But i wasn’t going for amazingly attractive either, so average i guess?
Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?
He wears a mask all the time so he really doesn’t care. I mean at one point he had tore most of his hair out and just had a few scattered clumps clinging to his head, but people couldn’t see his face so it didn’t matter to him.
What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?
He got some damn big emotional problems, and he recognizes some, like his slowly diminishing will to live. But things like his urge to have someone else control his entire existence he doesn’t really realize are problems.
Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?
Everyone starts off with a set amount of respect. You either get more or have it taken away depending on your actions.
Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?
Arch can be pretty funny, if he has anything its a sense of humor.
Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?
Yeah he does, what can you do. No guilt will stop him.
Do they have a large or small group of friends?
He has two dogs and sometimes he works with a stinky man. He thinks Gage is a friend but does Gage think he is a friend? Who knows if Gage will ever tell him.
Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?
....His dogs?
Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?
He likes talking to people, but if there are too many people around he gets overwhelmed pretty fast.
Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?
More in the mix, he gets anxious.
Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?
Arch considers himself less important then most people, thats mental illness babey.
Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?
He’d throw everything to the wind for his dogs. Sorry friends, but they’ve helped him through too much.
Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?
Well he knows that he has changed a lot, so why not other people too?
How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?
When he was in the Mojave, Joshua taught him about Mormonism, but he didn’t really understand. He remembers some stuff, but after he left he didn’t try to keep up with practicing it.
Do they believe in an afterlife?
It’s not something he takes time to think about really. That kid of a ‘ill cross that bridge when i get there’ type thing
Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?
He would definitely not like that. He can barely manage his mental health as it is.
Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?
Smart when it comes to plants and animals, just about everything else? Not so smart.
How many languages do they speak?
Speaks exactly one(1) language.
Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?
He likes learning things, its just getting that knowledge to stick in his head that’s a problem. He doesn’t really seak out knowledge but if he has the chance to ask about things he will.
What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?
Its just a little shack like building, but he built it and he’s proud.
What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?
A big ol’ farm house, lots of room for lots of dogs/friends
Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?
I dont think so, but it’d be funny as hell.
How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?
He can fix simple things, cabinets, chairs, dressers. Nothing too much more advanced than that.
How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?
He works really all the time. From when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. He basically runs a mini zoo by himself, its a lot of work but he loves it.
How often are they home?
Pretty often, he has animals to take care of.
Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?
Not really, he likes being out and about.
Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?
Archer is actually pretty musically inclined, he’d never admit it though. You might be able to catch him singing to his dogs, if you're lucky.
Would they enjoy a theme park?
Maybe if he could somehow go when there aren’t any people there. That might sill be pushing it. He gets overwhelmed easily.
Is your OC close to their family?
Nope.
Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?
He only ever knew his mom and his dad. If there was anyone else in his family he never met them.
Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?
Nah he really doesn’t think they’re supportive of him. They definitely wanted him dead.
What kind of childhood did your OC have?
:)
Did they go through any typical phases growing up?
He went through a lot of things, but never got the chance to be emo.
What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?
I know i said he was strictly gay yesterday but im thinking he’d actually probably be Pan and he’d just lean towards more masculine partners. He hasn’t really thought about his sexuality so he’s never had a reason to be stressed over it.
Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?
Any space in his mind that was supposed to be used for math and literacy etc. is now storage space for little facts about the people he cares about. He will remember. Oh you said you thought this flower was pretty six an half years ago in passing and i found one so i thought id bring it back for you.
Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?
Probably that there are multiple people who could be right.
Does your OC believe in love in first sight?
He barely even knows what love is, really.
Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?
He doesn’t really understand the point of it but if his S/O wanted it, he’d agree.
Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?
Nope :)
What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?
Climb to a really high place, lil picnic, watch the sun set, (maybe hold hands?) look at the stars.
What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?
Not liking animals. They’re literally his entire life, you cant be with him and not like animals.
What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?
Umami. But he’ll literally eat anything, especially if he’s desperate.
Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?
He doesn’t really eat a lot of meat cause he wants to hurt as few animals as possible. He uses most of the meat he hunts for his animals, and only eats it when there is nothing else, or if there’s the possibility of it going to waste.
How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?
He cooks pretty often, that being said do NOT eat what he makes! I dont know how he is still alive!
Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?
Yep, in fact that's basically what he does already. Food is food babey.
Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?
Archer wasn’t ever supposed to be like me, and he’s not really, which i think is a good thing?
Would you hang out with your OC if you could?
Yes he needs hugs and I will provide.
What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?
I’ve technically had Archer for 5 years thats a long time :)
#i think i died while doing this#jkjk#i had a lot of fun#the relationship question were to most fun#even though Archer is hardly relationship material#archer#today on archer loves his dogs more than anything in the world
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my depression and health battle
DEPRESSION
IS A BATTLE THAT CAN BE WON
as I pull the petals of this beautiful flower I noticed I had reached the last petal as I muttered to myself im lucky and tore it away from its steam I noticed one small underdeveloped petal hanging on for dear life and I muttered im not lucky and with my bad luck streak in life I thought it was some kind of omen was this a sign that my bad luck streak would never end or was I bein stupid overthinking things yet again I guess we can only find out as I battle my demons.
I sat there for a few minutes trying to talk myself out of this sign that everything would be fine it had to be my luck had to turn at some point hadnt it?
When I was 15 I started having eye trouble and my thirst for sugar had increased dramatically my parents had noticed this more than I had and suggested I go see a eye specialist to sort my eye troubles out when we got there my parents mentioned the sugar intake and they tested my blood sugars which were off the charts high I had further blood tests to soon discover that I was a type one diabetic and because of all the sugar in my bloodstream had temporarily changed my eye shape hence the blurred vision,i was sent to a hospital for two weeks to earn the ins and outs of how to take care of myself with this new disease it was scary and so hard I had never had a phobia of needles but to learn that I would here on out have to stick a needle into my stomach with each meal snack and drink was scary and take my sugars before each meal which would mean also stabbing my fingers scared the hell out of me and I thought why me why now anda lot of damage had already been done as I could have been diabetic for wuite a while before they had found it
I was to face some debhilitating challenges almost dying and permenant damage that would change my life forever things I would have to learn to live with and adapt to such as permenant eye damage agonizing diabetic neuropathy the loss of my left small toe then a further amputation of the joint including multiple procedures like laser eye surgery eye injections eye surgery two amputations the removal of all my teeth due to gastro peresis stages where I couldnt stomach any food throwing it all up losing weight to where my organs were failing and me on my death bed and not knowing why I have neer given up in all these struggles even though I knew oh well eating will end up with me bent over the toilet for hours being labelled as having a eating disorder and trying to convince doctors no this is medical and something was wrong having a feeding tube forced down your throat becausee of these labels and watched while I showered and used the toilet was horrible being in hospital for three months fighting for my life as I never realised how important food was for your body till I was striken with gatsro peresis and not being able to consume it and practically starving to deathi thought this was it this would kill me as nobody could find what was wrong and trying to tell me I was doing this to myself on purpose I refused to leave myhouse as I was ashamed of how thin I was I got down to 31 kilos and there was nothing left of me I was stuck in mental health and was forced to talk to psychiatrists about my so called eating disorder as they tried to help me but how can you fix something that doesnt exist they finally realised months later after leaving the hospital that it was medical from all of the tests I was made to do im still battling these issues today truing to gain weight I have also lost a large portion of my eyesight due to diabetic neuropathy when the blood vessels overgrow and cause permenant damage and the obly way to stop th further damage is to have laser ee surgery to try stop the vessels from growing which worked for a while then I was told they were growing again
so the next step was to have multiple injections over months into the eye to try shrink them which I am still having today as they have flared up again I now have to wear glasses but I can never drive as my vision is that impaired.
Another thing I battle wth is diabetic neuropathy which Is where your nerves send misfired pain signals to your brain when nothing is actually wrong you feel shock like pains hot pins and needles aches and some feeling losswhich contributed to me losing my small left toe I had gotten a blister that I didnt know I had which turned into a foot ulcer got infected and ate its way down to my bones I then got na serious bone infection called ostemyelitis which eats away at your bones they tried a long course of iv antibiotics to get rid of it but it falled and the only way to stop me from losing my whole leg was to amputate the small toe I was terrified as I lay in hospital and the doctors came in to wheel me ito surgery next thing I knew I was waking back up in my ward and my foot was being unwrapped I was in shock seeing my little toe missing they put something called a vac seal on it which helped fill the giant hole I now had in my foot and healed it three times faster than without it because of my compromised immune system from the auto immune disease they think I have that hasnt been even named yet I struggled to heal fully allowing infection bac into the amputation site which meant round two but they were to tell me I was going to loose my whole leg and had two weeks until surgery so as I went home and tried to prepare one day post surgery checkin they told me we are just going to amputate the remaning joint I had a sigh of relief but it was still loosing more of my foot I have had a rough life health wise as there has always been something wrong I have had the worst luck possible so many long hospital trips and now being 27 I just want to be as healthy as possible and live the life I know I deserve after all this grief and I have learnt to appreciate even the smallest of things and especially all the people who never left me in all my struggles and mood swings I am forever grateful for them as I know I wouldnt be here without them although they tell me they understand what im going through they couldnt possibly but I hate that ive had to go through all this and more I hate more the people I love have had to watch me gp through this amd I am usually a happy bright bubbly person but I mean I have my bad days where im depressed and wished all these afflictions didnt plague me everyday and it is also hard as I cant just forget I have these things as they impair everything I do I cant just turn around and be like I dont feel like being type 1 diabetic for a day as I would face horrible repurccusions .
In all this hardship I know there is people suffering out there more than I am I just wish I didnt have to fight everyday with all of this and fight to keep my life I want to just live it and be happy and I know I will get there I will never give up no matter how bloody hard this is or will get but I just wnted to tell a small portion of what I have gone through in my life in the hopes it may inspire of help somebody suffering with anny of these issues and yes depression is a hard thing to overcome but there are always things to help I find art and writing in a journal helps and venting all it takes is that one special person to listen and have your back if anybody reading this wants to chat I will always lend a ear to you so dont be afraid I may look odd and be odd but I am friendly and have a massive heart thank you for reading.
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