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idrkwhatthisisimsorry · 9 months

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Flying to Italy pt. 3

Description: Y/N finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her with her best friend, and decides to take the trip she had planned with him to Italy anyways, but alone. But she meets Harry along the way, and so it goes... Does she decide to stay with Harry, or is it too soon and too fast? Or will she forgive her boyfriend? Only time will tell.

Warnings: nothing really! more harry, and maybe a little bit of fluff???

Word count: 2.5K (they're getting longerrrrr)

Masterlist

A/N: hey! a new one! I'm glad y'all are liking the series! I've never had more motivation to write a fic, and I really like this one, so I hope you guys like how it's progressing. Unfortunately, I think it's gonna be a pretty slow burn. More stuff to come!

I sat in the backseat of Harry's car with him as someone drove us to his house in ITALY. I almost want to thank Lily and Jackson for what they did to me because it put me in this position. Now, like I said, I'm not the biggest Harry Styles fan out there, but holy shit, it's still Harry Styles. I love his music, and he's obviously a really cool guy if he's letting me stay at his house in Italy for however long he decides he wants me there. I know at least I'm staying there tonight, but it feels wrong to intrude for a whole month, so I speak up for the first time since we've gotten into the car.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay tonight. I'll look up hotels on my computer to try a find a good one that won't 'scam me'." I say, using air quotes on that last part, and laughing a bit because of what he said earlier. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not inviting you to stay in my house only to kick you out. I was planning on staying for longer than a month, so you can stay your entire trip. It's a nice house, I swear I don't like in a shack. I really don't mind, it gets lonely there anyways." He said, shrugging, acting like a complete stranger staying in his house for an entire month was no big deal. "I really appreciate that, but I don't want to make you feel like you have to let a complete stranger stay in your house for an entire month just because I'm in a shitty situation. Seriously, Harry." I said, really not wanting to intrude.

I didn't want to intrude for a lot of reasons. One, being I know Harry gets a lot of paparazzi surrounding him, and I really don't want to deal with the entire world thinking we're staying together at his house for an entire month. Even though that is what I'm going to be doing apparently, it's going to look entirely different to thousands of fans who are entirely too jealous of every woman Harry is around. And two, I don't want Lily to see that I'm with him. As cool as it would be to see how angry and jealous she would get when she finds out I'm spending time with her "one true love", I don't want to give her a reason to speak to me at all. And I also didn't want to disrupt Harry's life. He came to Italy for a reason, and so did I, and I feel like if I was practically living at his house that would be more than disruptive towards his normal Italy routine, whatever that may be.

"Seriously, Y/N," he said, emphasizing my name, "I don't feel like I have to let you stay in my house just because of your situation. If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. And we're not totally strangers. We talked for a really long time on that plane, and I discovered that I really enjoyed your company, and want to spend more time with you, and it just so happened that I had the perfect solution for your hotel issue, and it also meant I get to spend time with you. If you really don't want to stay there, I would be happy to find you a hotel for your troubles. I don't want to make you feel like I'm forcing you to stay at my house. But I promise you, it is absolutely no trouble at all, Y/N." Harry said, very seriously. Okay. Maybe this wouldn't be as nerve racking as I suspected it would. It's not like there's a lot of paparazzi in Italy, and I really could use a place to stay. I contemplated what he said for a little while before finally responding. "Okay, I'll stay with you. Thank you, I really appreciate it." I said, and he smiled at my response. "But-" I said, and he frowned, "If at any point, any point at all you don't want me there, tell me right away, please. I hate intruding, and I really don't want to." I said, semi-sternly, to get my point across. "I doubt that will happen, but deal." He said, a large smile across his face.

...

We pulled up to his large house on the coast about fifteen minutes later. My eyes widened in awe at the size and beauty of the house. I didn't even realize I should probably get out of the car until Harry was opening my door and holding out a hand to help me out. No one has ever done that for me before, so I warily took his hand and got out of the car. The driver had taken our bags out of the back already by the time we got out of the car, so we both walked over to take them to bring them into the house.

"Harry. This is beautiful." I said, still gawking at the gorgeous house. It was tall, and a creme color, with beautiful accents of green shrubbery and vines bordering it. The door was white with accents of blue, and it had a beautiful birch porch swing facing out to the ocean. The porch was beautiful, too. It wrapped all the way around the house and had flowers and plants and bird feeders all the way around it. It was gorgeous, and I couldn't imagine the beauty that was inside.

"Thank you. Would you like a tour of the inside?" He asked me as he began walking towards the front door, smiling at me with that signature smile I was starting to discover. "I would absolutely love that." I said, returning a smile with the same brightness of his. He punched in the key code to the door, and on the security system once he got inside. We loaded all our bags into the foyer and he began to show me around.

"Now, I may have fibbed a bit about the size of the house, but I do have plenty of guest rooms. Six to be exact, in case you were curious. But there is a bathroom for each room, so you will have your own bathroom, don't worry." He said as he walked me upstairs to show me the bedrooms. They were all pretty identical, having the same beautiful king sized bed in each one with a gorgeous canopies over each of them. More gorgeous birch flooring that matched the porch outside, much lighter, though, due to the lack of weathering. It was gorgeous, all of them. The last one he showed me, I assumed, was his bedroom. "And this one is mine. You can pick anyone you want to stay in except this one because, as you can see, it has already been claimed." He said, chuckling. His bedroom was so very him. It was a dark gray, but not dark enough to make the room itself dark. He had art all over the walls, and the bed was very simple. Just a simple bed with a black headboard with posts on all four corners. He had a record player on top of the dresser, and from what I could see from the doorway, he had about twenty records next to it, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Joni Mitchell, Bowie, all the good stuff. If this is what he had in his vacation home, I was dying to see what his regular house's record collection looked like. "I love it. Too bad it's already taken." I said laughing, and he laughed in response as well. "I think I'll take the one at the end of the hall." I said, smiling up at him. "Sounds good." He said looking into my eyes and smiling, lingering there for a bit before clearing his throat and looking away. "So, uh, do you want the tour of the rest of the house?" He said, and I nodded enthusiastically.

...

The house was beautiful beyond belief. There was a pool in the backyard, and while Harry was in his room, unpacking his things I assume, I decided to put my bathing suit on and make my way downstairs and outside and go for a swim. It had been ages since I had the time to go swimming, and I missed it. I walked outside and dove right in, loving the feeling of the water flowing through my long hair and across my skin. I must've been swimming for thirty minutes before I finally came all the way up to the surface for a quick break, and saw Harry sitting on the edge of the pool, feet in the water.

"Wow, you really like to swim, huh? You've been out here for probably an hour now." He said, looking at me, smirking. "Oh, uh, yeah I do. It's been forever since I got to do it so I guess I just got carried away." I said, looking down still treading in water, looking up at him again to ask him, "How long have you been sitting there?" "Just about twenty minutes. It's like you're in your own little world when you're in the water. You're like a little fish." he said, chuckling, making me laugh, too, at his comment.

I swam over to the steps of the pool and walked over to him as he stood up as well. "You hungry? I know this really great cafe. I visit it every time I'm here at least ten times. My treat." He says, smiling at me. "I'd love to go, but I'm definitely paying for my own food. You letting me stay at this amazing house is enough of a treat. I'll go get changed." I said, as I walked into the house and rushed upstairs to take a shower and change.

...

Me and Harry walked into the cafe he recommended, and since I didn't know the exact dress code, I decided on the mid-length baby blue dress I packed, and decided to leave my hair down. When we walked in I noticed it was a sit down cafe, so I knew it was going to be expensive, but I saved plenty for this trip, so I knew I was going to be able to cover it, but if I kept going out to eat with Harry who knew how quick those savings were going to run out?

We sat down at a cafe, and the waitress came over to us, not seeming phased by Harry Styles sitting down at the restaurant she worked at, but more like familiarly happy to see him. "Hey Harry, haven't seen you in a bit! It's nice to see you!" She said, smiling at him. "It's good to see you, too, Sarah. This is my friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Sarah." Harry motioned to me, introducing the two of us, and I waved to her. "Nice to meet you! Usually Harry just comes here by himself, so it's nice to see into his actual life. What can I get for the both of you."

We ordered our food, and it was expensive like I expected it, but Harry apparently had a card on file, and managed to secretly tell our waitress that both of our meals would be on him. I thanked him, but still told him that just because he's rich doesn't mean he has to pay for my food, and he just smiled. As we were leaving we decided to just go for a walk around the small city and watch the sunset and the people around us, and get to know each other a bit better since we would be spending the next month together.

"So.." I started, as we had been walking in silence for the past couple minutes since we left the cafe. "So..?" He responded. We got along well on the plane, but now once that it was really starting to sink in that I was in the presence of Harry Styles, I didn't know how to really start a conversation with him. "Uh.. what made you want to buy a house in Italy?" I asked, finally coming up with things to say. "Easy. It's beautiful. Every time I used to come here and didn't buy my own place I wished I had. It's nice to be able to completely settle once I'm here, and not have to worry about where the fridge is, what's in the fridge, how comfortable my bedroom is going to make me feel. So I bought my own place here and made it mine so I could love Italy even more. What made you want to come visit Italy?" He asked. "I thought I already explained it, but I guess I forgot when talking about everything that made me take the trip alone. But, uh, I just always thought it was gorgeous, too. It was always on my bucket list, but with the lack of money, and then college, an then working my way up in my career, I've never had the money or the time until now. I wasn't going to let those assholes screw up this dream for me." I said, not looking at him. "I don't blame you. Italy's a great place to come to forget about things. Can I ask you a question?" He said, stopping to look at me. "Sure." I said, nervously, unsure of what he was going to say. "How did someone as bright and as full of life as you manage to end up with the worst best friend an boyfriend? It just doesn't add up. I'm sorry if that's too personal, you don't have to answer that." As he said the last part, he turned away and began walking again. "Well, it's not really as simple as that. I know I told you they cheated, but I've known them both for so long, and I truly don't think that's always been how they're like. I just think they weirdly grew into the people they became. I've never had any issues with either of them ever. No big arguments, hardly any little arguments. I had no way of seeing it coming. They never even have hung out alone, to my knowledge, before they did what they did. They even used to fight with each other a lot, and only really became true friends again a few years ago. And I'm not as bright and full of life as you say I am. But I appreciate the compliment." I said, still looking ahead as we walked. "I know I don't know you very well yet, but I think you're wrong about that."

...

Me and Harry just made small talk here and there for the rest of our walk until his driver came to pick us up. I'm usually good at reading people, but he was a closed book. I had no clue what he was thinking until he said it. He confused the hell out of me, and all I wanted to do was understand him, to be able to read him. And I couldn't help but feel guilty about it. I've never had to understand someone new. I've always had the same people in my life, and it felt so different to let someone new in. Not a bad different, just different.

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the-bad-batch-baroness · 4 months

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Combat Cold Cuts

Tech x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your favorite team of Navy SEALs just docked and are looking for some good food.

Pairing: Tech x Fem!Reader

Characters: Mira (OFC), Tech, Hunter, Echo, Wrecker, Crosshair

Tags & Warnings: modern!AU, sandwich shop!AU, navy!AU, fluff, awkwardness, smidge of angst, military/naval terms and jargon, sad Bad Batch backstories, mentions of death, mentions of war, mentions of injuries

Word Count: 3.2k

Author's Note: If you've been here a while, then you'll know that earlier in the year, when the polls came out, I made a poll asking who from the Bad Batch y'all would want in my Sandwich Shop AU, and Tech had the most votes. So, ta-da! Took me half a year, but better late than never. Also, don't quote me on this, but I may write more for this AU. Also, if you know where the title is from, we can be friends. As always, please enjoy 💚

@clonexreaderbingo Square: Tech

Today begins like any other day for you as you get ready for your job on the naval base. The sky is crystal clear and the sea breeze coming off the coast is refreshing. You’ve been working at the sandwich shop on the naval base for two years now thanks to your friend Mira. You've known Mira since high school, and because she's the wife of a sailor, she lives on base. Her personal recommendation is what helped you get the job and you're forever grateful to her.

You love working on the naval base because you get to interact with all of the sailors. The sailors always have the best stories to tell. Whether it’s their last meal before setting out to sea or it’s their first meal back on dry land, you're always there to smile and laugh at what they say. Sometimes the men are lively and sometimes they're quiet. You can usually tell when something bad has happened while they were deployed, because the normally talkative ones say nothing.

While stopped at the security gate, as you wait for the officer to scan your ID, you can see a destroyer coming into port in the distance. With that class of vessel docking, you know it’s going to be a busy day at the sandwich shop, with lots of hungry sailors looking for good food and someone to tell their stories too. You quickly go through your mental checklist to ensure you properly restocked yesterday, then the officer returns your ID and lifts the gate for you to enter.

“Hey!” Mira calls with a wave and a bright smile as you enter the sandwich shop.

You smile and wave back. "Good morning!"

"Are you excited?" Mira asks as she playfully jabs her elbow into your side when you come around to the back of the deli line.

“For what?” you ask as you rub your side, then throw on your apron.

“Didn’t you hear?” Mira says.

“Hear what?” you ask.

“The Bad Batch are on that destroyer that came in this morning,” Mira answers with a giddy bobble of her head.

“No way!” you exclaim, but quickly hush yourself. “Really?”

“Yup,” Mira says with a pop of her lips on the last letter. “Top scuttlebutt says they’re returning from a super dangerous and top secret mission.”

“Woah,” you breathe. "Incredible."

The Bad Batch. An elite team of five navy SEALs that were pulled together as sole survivors from other teams across the navy. Each member of the Bad Batch has a unique skill set that allows their team to be practically unstoppable in the field. Which is why they are assigned the most difficult missions, because their success rate precedes them. They don’t even use their real names anymore, just the nicknames they've been given over their many years of service.

Hunter, their sergeant, is the only member of the team that began his career as a navy SEAL. He lost his original SEAL team during a special operation involving drug pirates off the gulf of some foreign country. According to sources, he was able to track down the pirates, complete the mission, and bring his dead men back to port for a proper burial. That's how he got the name, Hunter. He's a natural born leader, and there’s not an operation he won’t lead his men into.

Echo, their communications specialist, is a triple amputee and a former sonar technician on a submarine. His submarine was attacked while surfacing from a mission, which is when he lost his right arm and both legs. Unfortunately, the rest of the crew weren't so lucky. He spent a week in a coma, and his best friend he served with died in the bed next to him the day before he woke up. Sometimes you see him sitting by himself at the memorial with two open beers.

Wrecker, their demolition expert, was part of an explosive ordnance disposal unit before a fatal accident. It was supposed to be a routine defusal of a pipe bomb, but his partner misread one of the numbers on the detonator, leading him to cut the wrong wire. Wrecker noticed the mistake and tried to stop him, but it was too late. His partner didn't make it, and neither did the rest of the unit. Wrecker survived, but lost most of his hearing, and all of his vision, in his left ear and eye.

Crosshair, their weapons expert and sniper, wasn't in the navy, but was a scout sniper in the marine corps. The man was born with a cigarette in his mouth and a permanent scowl on his face, and not much is known about his time in the marine corp. However, according to the rumors, his scout sniper platoon was ambushed during a night operation in the tropics. They say he was stranded on one of the islands for thirty-two days before he was found and rescued.

Tech, their cyber intelligence specialist, was part of the cyber command group before he was reassigned to the Bad Batch. While it sounds like a desk job, he was actually involved in combat missions where he provided integrated cyberspace attacks in support of operational plans. Basically, cyber-warfare. Not much is known about what happened to his team, and there aren't many rumors or theories surrounding the circumstances either, so it remains a mystery.

"So," Mira begins with a sly grin, “are you finally going to ask him on a date?”

“Who?” you ask as you pull off the plastic wrap from the condiment containers.

“You know who,” Mira taps your arm. “The smart one with the glasses that you make googly-eyes at whenever he comes in.”

“Oh…” you pause. “That one.”

“Well?” Mira presses while waving a loaf of Italian bread around.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “Maybe next time.”

“Maybe next time?” Mira scoffs. “Maybe next time? Girl, he could be dead next time!”

You rush to cover her mouth. “Shh! Don’t say that. It’s bad luck.”

Mira mumbles something you can't understand.

"What did you say?" you ask as you remove your hand.

"I said," Mira begins, "they don't need extra help in the bad luck department."

You roll your eyes and return to prepping the deli line for when the shop opens. While it's true that a lot of bad things have happened to the Bad Batch team, none of the members have died themselves. So, is it really the men who carry the bad luck? Or is it another force entirely? You push back the crazy thoughts, because in reality, you're not superstitious, even if Mira tries to convince you otherwise. Instead, you make your conjectures based on the facts in front of you.

One such fact being that the shop opens in ten minutes and there's already a line of hungry sailors outside the locked door waiting to get in. You and Mira exchange a high-five and put on your game faces to tackle the wave of hungry men. There's nothing quite like the midday rush between ten o'clock and two o'clock, but it's even worse when the ships come to port. You know after two o'clock you'll be able to take a well-earned break, but until then it is full-steam ahead.

Sailor after sailor pours into the sandwich shop once you unlock the door. Mira always mans the register and you make the sandwiches. When you first started working at the shop, it was a complete disaster trying to get in sync with each other. There was shouting, crashing into each other, and lettuce all over the floor. But now, the two of you work together like a well-oiled machine, dancing around each other behind the deli line, and communicating like a dream.

Your heart skips a beat when you see the Bad Batch walk into the sandwich shop. The quiet murmurs of the sailors stop for a moment as the SEAL team's stoic presence takes over the atmosphere. The Bad Batch have a big reputation around the base and they've garnered a lot of respect, even from the greenhorns. It's almost like having a few celebrities walk into the shop, but it doesn't last long and the sailors go back to munching and conversing with each other.

You choke down your nerves as they approach the counter and smile. "What can I get for you boys?"

"Large steak and cheese, toasted," Hunter says. "Extra peppers if you can."

"Sure thing," you answer as you make the sandwich. You quickly pop it into the toaster to melt the cheese, then wrap the sandwich in paper, and hand it to Hunter. "One large steak and cheese with extra peppers, warmed, and toasty."

"Thanks, kid," Hunter says before moving down the line to the register.

"Can I get a really large buffalo chicken with extra buffalo sauce?" Wrecker asks excitedly. "And I mean, lots of sauce, and ranch!"

"You got it," you chuckle, then make his sandwich, wrap it up, and hand it to him. "One really large buffalo chicken drowning in buffalo sauce and ranch."

"Aw, yeah!" Wrecker says as he grabs the sandwich. "Thanks a ton!"

You smile and look at your next customer, but he doesn't smile back.

"Large roast beef," Crosshair says. "Make sure the mayo is light and not a single onion touches it."

"Understood," you bristle at his tone, then quickly make his sandwich, wrap it, and hand it to him. "One large roast beef, with a squirt of mayo, and absolutely no onions."

"Finally," Crosshair says as he takes the sandwich. "Someone who can listen."

You let out the breath you were holding in and compose yourself to smile at your next customer.

"Large tuna, please," Echo says. "Extra mayo and no cheese or veggies, if that's alright."

"Not a problem," you answer, then make his sandwich, wrap it up, and hand it to him. "One large tuna, no cheese, no veggies, and extra mayo."

"Thank you, ma'am," Echo says with a nod as he grabs the sandwich and moves down to the register.

"A large cold cut combo, if you please," Tech says. "But I would prefer it if you hold the ham."

"Absolutely," you answer, then make his sandwich, wrap it up, and hand it to him. "One large cold cut combo, but hold my hand."

Tech reaches out to grab the sandwich. "I beg your pardon?"

You look up at him, confused as to what he means. "I'm sorry, did I forget something?"

"You requested that I hold your hand," Tech says. "Are you unwell?"

Your eyes grow wide and your face flushes with heat as you realize the slip of your tongue. "Oh," you stammer. "I'm sorry. I… uh… didn't mean to say… well… I just… um. Have a nice day."

Flustered and embarrassed beyond belief, you rush yourself off the deli line and into the back storage room.

Mira overhears your awkward exchange and waves Tech down to register with a smile. "I can ring you out over here, hon."

Meanwhile, in the storage room, you attempt to pull yourself together. You can't believe you made such a dumb mistake and said something so absentmindedly stupid to the one guy you like, and he's a navy SEAL for crying out loud. He must think you're an idiot, or worse. Although, you're not quite sure what could possibly be worse than being an idiot in front of a man who had perfect scores at the naval academy, but there must be something, and it makes you want to scream.

"Are you doing alright?" Mira asks as she leans against the doorframe to the storage room.

You sigh. "I'll be fine."

Mira walks over to you. "I think I can cheer you up."

"Doubt it," you answer while rubbing your hands against your face.

Mira smiles and pulls out a sticky note. "I got you a date with that smart guy you like."

You peek out through your fingers. "You what?"

"I set you up on a date with Tech," Mira repeats as she waves the sticky note around.

"How did–"

"Ah, ah," Mira stops you. "It's a secret. And by a secret, I mean I just asked him."

Your jaw drops as you throw her an incredulous look. Was it really that easy? All you had to do was ask? Seriously? You're shocked that Mira had the audacity to ask Tech to go on a date with you, but you're even more shocked that he actually said yes. You're not sure how to process this new information, or if you'll ever get your heart to beat normally again. All at once, feelings of excitement and panic intermingle in your stomach and you feel like you're going to be sick.

"Here are the details," Mira hands you the sticky note, a big grin still plastered on her face. "Don't be late."

You take the sticky note from her, and she goes back to the front to continue taking care of the customers. You look at what's written on the small piece of paper, and it's a time and place. The park bench at 1900 hours. You count backwards on your fingers to seven o'clock. Even though you've been working on the base for two years, you still haven't gotten used to military time. You look up at the clock on the wall and see it is two o'clock. At least you have time to get ready.

You spend the rest of your shift trying not to let your nerves get the better of you. You busy yourself with everything possible; to the point where you've swept the floor and wiped the counter ten times already. But you can't help it. You're excited and nervous about your date with Tech. You're not even sure if you know how to go on a date, considering it's been so long since you've been on one yourself. However, you have Mira to help you, so it won't be that bad.

Once your shift is over, the shop has been cleaned and the front door locked, Mira helps you get ready for your date. You explain to her how you feel nervous and how you're worried that you might say something wrong or he might think you're stupid. Mira just smiles and listens as you ramble on, offering the occasional encouragement here and there as she helps you put your hair up. Luckily, you wore some decent clothes today so you don't have to go home and change.

After you're ready, Mira gives you a big hug and a few words of advice. "Just be yourself and you'll be fine."

"Thanks," you say, then separate from the hug.

"Go get em'!" Mira shouts as you open the door to leave.

You turn around, smile, and wave goodbye. Mira knows that you'll call her as soon as the date is over to give her all of the juicy details, but you're happy she's here right now to cheer you on. You close the door to the shop behind you and take a deep breath of the evening air. It's still daylight, since it's summer, and because it's later in the day, you're not worried about sweating or becoming gross from the heat. Steeling yourself, you walk to the park to meet Tech for your date.

As you approach the specified meeting place, you see Tech sitting on one of the benches under a tree. Your heart flutters and your stomach flips as your nerves flare throughout your veins. You try your best to breathe through the anxiety, and you swallow back your fear as you approach him. He acknowledges your presence but doesn't say anything, and then you sit down next to him. You both sit in silence and you fidget with your fingers while trying to think of something to say.

"I–" you both start to say, then stop.

"You first," you both say again, then stop.

You giggle, which helps break the ice. "I've never been good at conversation."

"Neither have I," Tech admits. "However, your colleague was most pleasurable to speak with."

"Oh," you say. "Yeah, Mira is great."

"That is not to say that you also will not be pleasurable to speak with," Tech adds.

You pause for a second as you try to process his words. "Can you say that again, but slower?"

"My sincerest apologies," Tech says. "My military duties require precision of language and I will admit that I get carried away with my verbiage. However, my team finds my speech pattern to be complicated as well, so I would not feel disheartened by your lack of comprehension."

"Uh, thanks," you say. "I think."

"Perhaps I should begin again," Tech says as he reaches out his hand. "I am Tech and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

You smile, shake his hand, and offer your name as well.

Your evening with Tech becomes more smooth as you continue chatting on the bench. Your conversation is filled with quirks from the both of you, as well as giggles from your side, and confused looks from Tech. However, it's nice chatting with someone like him. His speech skills really are incredible and it makes sense why he graduated top of his class at the naval academy. You find him endearing, and the way he gets passionate when he speaks makes you smile.

You carry on your conversation with him for as long as you can; until the sun sets and the lampposts in the park illuminate the walkways for the late night passerby. As much as you don't want to call it a night and leave, you can't help but stifle a small yawn. You try to hide it, but during your brief time with Tech, you've realized that not much goes unnoticed by him. Just thinking about it makes you yawn again, but this time not so subtly, and Tech takes note.

"Perhaps we should adjourn for the night," Tech says. "Your oral reflex and deep inhalation indicates that you are fatigued."

"My what?" you ask.

"You yawned," Tech explains.

"Oh," you chuckle. "I guess I am getting pretty tired. It was a long day at the shop."

"I concur," Tech says as he gets up from the bench. "I assume you will be at your employment establishment tomorrow as well?"

You get up from the bench and stretch your arms over your head. "You would assume correctly."

"Through the power of deduction, will you also be available after you have concluded your assigned duties at said establishment?" Tech asks.

You smile. "Why, yes. That will be the case."

"Then I would like to formally invite you to participate in another mutual discussion tomorrow," Tech says.

"I accept," you answer. "Same time, same place?"

"Indubitably," Tech answers.

"Does that mean yes?" you ask, not understanding the word.

"Without a doubt," Tech explains.

You smile. "Good night, Tech."

"Good night," Tech says. "Pleasantest of endogenous sensory experiences."

You snort and decide to look that one up when you get home, but only after you call Mira and tell her about the wonderful time you had with Tech, as well as the prospect of seeing him again tomorrow. Although, you highly doubt you'll be able to sleep tonight, since your body feels too giddy and excited to calm down and relax. Mira was right. Life is too short to put off doing things you're scared of, because tomorrow is not promised to anyone, and today is all you may have.

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girl-of-many-fandoms · 1 year

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Dr. Show Off

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader

Summary: Leave it to Stephen to show off with his powers.

Warnings: None

MASTERLIST

HO! HO! HO! Merry Christmas my loves I hope you all had a wonderful day today. I also apologise for going MIA for months, I got busy with uni and my mental health took a decline. However, I couldn't let today pass without gifting y'all some Christmas fluff.

-----

"Question, do you plan on getting off your ass anytime soon to help me out here?" Stephen barely glanced in my direction before he returned to his laptop in front of him, completely ignoring the fact that I'm basically decorating our apartment all alone for Christmas.

"I told you that if you wanted to transform our home into Santa's workshop you're on your own darling."

"I don't recall that at all."

"Sure you don't."

Lies, I do remember him telling me that if I wanted to go the full nine yards for the holidays I'd have to do all the work since he's not, and I quote, "Feeling festive."

Stephen adjusted himself into a more comfortable position on the sofa giving whatever he was looking at his undivided attention. Huffing I resumed decorating the Christmas tree, mumbling things that would easily land me on Santa's naughty list this holiday.

Truth be told I wanted this to be something Stephen and I did together as it's our first Christmas together as a married couple. I'm also bumbed because he knows how much this holiday means to me.

Too caught up in my own thoughts I hadn't noticed that Stephen had been staring at my every move for the past five minutes before he practically snapped his fingers and turned our apartment into Christmas haven leaving me speechless.

"Really Stephen?" Crossing my now empty arms over my chest, I turned to face him. The sorcerer got up from his place on the sofa and crossed the living room to get to me with a sly smile on his face.

"Merry Christmas my love." He planted a kiss on my lips, slowly wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Merry Cristmas to you too, show off."

-----

Taglist:

@dorks2022 @sophiaedits @peakascum @anonymoustip217 @iiddaaa @panaitbeatrice @n3ssm0nique @mintphoenix @inas-thing @sketch-and-write-lover @friskae @bernthalbabe43 @trinkets01 @blackcat420 @justreadingficsdontmindme @bakingpotatoes21 @hardcoppizzasludge @tanyaherondale @creatingjana @calimoi @rootcrop @louisianalady @chrisfucksblog @thummbelina @vicmc624 @leyannrae @janaev4ns @queenofkings1212 @believinghurts @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @stumbleonmywords @youarethereasonimsmiling @juxtaposition-exe @wanda-1 @katzenwahnsinn @v0idl1nq @winksasleeplesseye

#marvel imagine #marvel fluff #doctor strange x reader #doctor strange x you #doctor strange imagine #stephen strange x ofc #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange imagine #stephen strange smut #benedict cumberbatch x y/n #benedict cumberbatch fluff #benedict cumberbatch x reader #benedict cumberbatch imagine #marvel smut

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tori-tumbls-04 · 9 months

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Alright, by popular demand and after much anticipation, I present to you:

The Jedi Culture and Religion as Presented by Me, Tori

Now why the hell should you read this? I mean like, you don't have to. This is tumblr dot com, not a social sciences class, and I have not assigned this as required reading. However, I took a class on Star Wars, and we essentially discussed the irl religions and moral philosophies that influenced many things in Star Wars. This class really helped me understand the Jedi in a broader sense, so I think that my summation of it will help you too

WARNING: This post contains incredibly broad descriptions of religions that do not always apply to every aspect of said religion (This was a short class and we were mostly comparing religions, so going into a deep analysis on all the traditions would not have been helpful for our purposes. Also, because any religion is hopelessly complex, we learned the mainstream versions of them, so not everything I will say will always completely apply to every person who practices these religions)

If you want to read more, click on the links where I've attached them for references or just ask me! I'd love to gush about the Jedi so give it a go

Table of contents:

Buddhism

Daoism

Christianity

Conclusion

Before we get into this, let me give y'all some context.

Overall, Star Wars was inspired by the book The Hero of a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. In it, Campbell claims that every religion is, by in large, the same, which he argues by distilling down what he says are the main hero stories of every religion into a step-by-step plot line that can supposedly apply to every religion's stories. This is the monomyth, or the original Hero's Journey.

Source

From a religious studies standpoint, this is WILDLY untrue. Campbell picked and chose his stories elements based on what he believed fit the narrative, and not even all Western hero stories fit this narrative, let alone Eastern stories (for example, Jesus never really has a Road of Trials. He's born, there's a twenty year time skip, and suddenly he's the all-powerful Son of God/God Reincarnate. I think a lot of Christians would say that Jesus is their hero- a perfectly valid and acceptable thing to say, since that is indeed the point of Jesus!- but nevertheless, he doesn't follow the Hero's Journey). Also, you can't claim that every religion is inherently the same, that's ignoring literally everything that makes religion religion, and it makes white idiots from Seattle think they understand everything about Confucianism just because they read that one book. It's also not super well written and the book kinda sucks overall.

However, this was a really popular book and it influenced a lot of minds on storytelling, including George Lucas's. It's mostly regarded with scorn in religious studies spheres today, but a lot of screenwriting classes assign it because the Hero's Journey creates stories that audiences want to hear told. Lucas used it for this reason, but also claimed that the Jedi were every religion in the world distilled into one, taking broad themes and building a culture around it (paraphrased- I can't find the exact quote and I didn't write it down so just like trust me bro). This is Hero with a Thousand Faces, plain and simple. I think we'd be hard-pressed to apply the Jedi religion to every religion, but there are three religions that emerge as the core for the Jedi, plus a few philosophies. These chosen few are Buddhism, Daoism, and Christianity.

Buddhism

(Source)

Anyone who's been on the pro-Jedi side of any social media site probably saw this one coming. Jedi are inherently Buddhist in practice and culture, and we see it everywhere. But for the previously uninitiated, here's the rundown.

What is Buddhism?

**Disclaimer: I am not an expert in Buddhism. What I know is what I've learned from this class and from one of my best friends who is Buddhist. If you want to know more, I recommend doing outside research because I'm really only equipped to talk about Buddhism in relation to the Jedi Order**

Buddhism was created in about 5th century BCE by Siddhartha Gautama, who was a wealthy prince that grew weary of the material and physical pleasures of this world. He left his titles, wealth, and wife behind and traveled for years to learn meditation techniques and ancient truths about the world. Eventually, he became the Enlightened One, or the Buddha.

Buddha taught with the Four Noble Truths:

Life is characterized by suffering

The cause of suffering is desire and delusion

Suffering has an end

You can alleviate suffering by following the path to Enlightenment (aka nirvana)

Yeahhh Buddha wasn't really Mr. Happy Fun Guy. Essentially, to Buddha, everything is suffering, and I really mean everything. Everything bad is bad, everything good comes to an end and becomes bad, and the more invested you are in earthly affairs, the more you'll suffer because of how they'll work out (eventually bad). The solution? No attachment to earthly affairs. This allows you to stay on the path to Nirvana without making yourself suffer (and here's the kicker) or making the people around you suffer. The goal is for no human to suffer.

Now, Buddha recognizes this is hard. Like, he got it in a few years, but he's also The Best At Everything Ever. Most people take multiple lifetimes to get to the point of nirvana (reincarnation exists in Buddhism), and by multiple, I mean somewhere around 500. So the goal of your life is not to achieve complete non-attachment by the time you die, but to get yourself closer and close to non-attachment and non-suffering with each life. That means continuously and consciously working to do good and reduce suffering everywhere, even if you can't reach nirvana just yet.

Source

"But Tori!" you may protest, "How in the hell are we supposed to do that??? How do we know what will make people suffer and what won't???"

That, my friends, is why the good Buddha came up with the Eightfold Path to Enlightenment, or what I call the Cosmic Playbook for Doing Good. Here's the Eight Folds:

Right Understanding (accepting Buddhist teachings)

Right Resolve (committing to action)

Right Speech (telling the truth)

Right Action (avoiding wrong behavior)

Right Livelihood (not having an occupation that does harm)

Right Effort (controlling one's mind)

Right Mindfulness (being present in the moment)

Right Meditation (mental calm)

The Eightfold Path is based on three pillars: Wisdom, Morality, and Meditation. Wisdom says you must have understanding and fight delusion; Morality says you must have benevolence and never give into anger; Meditation says you must be non-attached and never give into greed (Is this starting to sound familiar?)

Now here's the key part: Buddhism teaches selflessness and compassion. And like yeah, I mean this in the Western sense of "don't be a dickwad," but there's also a Buddhist-specific reasoning behind this.

Selflessness in the Buddhist sense literally means no self. As in you do not exist, except in a constant state of change. Your self is not permanent, therefore tying things to yourself (attachments) is going against nature and preventing you from reaching nirvana. If we accept that we are fleeting and the things associated with us are as well- money, power, influence, things in general- then we may act selflessly and with compassion to other humans. We are all connected, so acting with compassion to other people will spread compassion further throughout the universe, alleviating suffering further.

Ultimately, this is what Buddha wanted for his followers to act, and this is why Buddhism distinguishes between "good" and "bad" attachments. "Good" or selfless attachments are connections made for the goal of helping others. The focus is not you, and when the time comes, you are content with parting ways. This person is not a part of you, simply a part of this point in your life. This doesn't mean they can't have a lasting impact on you or you can't have emotion towards them, but it does mean recognizing that nothing is permanent and accepting it with peace. "Bad" or selfish attachments are people you latch onto as part of you. Bad attachment is making it about you: you have to have this person or you will die, you have to have their love or support or whatever and you're unwilling to compromise. When they leave, you can't except it because you believe both you, your self, them, and their self are permanent, and it causes you to lash out to protect your self. According to Buddha, this is the cause of all aggression, and that is why selfish attachment is to be avoided as much as possible.

Buddhism and the Jedi

I started with Buddhism because, in my opinion, the Jedi religion has its foundations in Buddhism. If you don't understand Buddhism, you can't understand the Jedi, and I think that's why many people believe that Jedi philosophy doesn't make sense. Cause lowkey, from a Judeo-Christian standpoint, it doesn't. But if we start with Buddhism and work from there, the understanding might come better.

Let's take a look at the pillars of the Eightfold Path again:

Wisdom (Understanding, no delusion)

Right Understanding (accepting Buddhist teachings)

Right Resolve (committing to action)

Morality (Benevolence, no anger)

Right Speech (telling the truth)

Right Action (avoiding wrong behavior)

Right Livelihood (not having an occupation that does harm)

Meditation (Non-attachment, no greed)

Right Effort (controlling one's mind)

Right Mindfulness (being present in the moment)

Right Meditation (mental calm)

Now compare it with this version of the Jedi Mantra:

"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force"

(Source)

Some of these are not relevant right now, since they come from Daoism or Christianity (and also, we'll come back to the other version in a minute). But you can already see the parallels between Buddhism and the Jedi, especially in the Meditation pillar. Right Meditation and Right Mindfulness correspond directly to "There is no emotion, there is peace" and "There is no passion, there is serenity." Also, Right Understanding and Right Resolve feel very "There is no ignorance, there is knowledge" to me. This means that "There is no emotion" does not mean there is no emotion ever, it simply means controlling your gut reaction and staying calm. Reacting with gut emotions sometimes means that people around you will suffer, especially when your gut emotions are anger and hurt. Remember, we're not about suffering in this house, so there will be no gut reactions here when we can help it.

Also, the idea of attachments comes straight from Buddhism. In Buddhism, delusion leads to anger and greed, which leads to further suffering, and we delude ourselves by being selfish (remember, in this sense selfish is thinking our self is permanent, not necessarily being a dickwad). Now, I really hope this sounds familiar, because this is "fear leads to anger leads to hate leads to suffering" in practically the same words. Here, delusion of the self and fear of losing it are one in the same, and the Jedi fight this by not being attached to one state of themself, and everything that entails. Ultimately, the Jedi exist to alleviate suffering throughout the galaxy. That is their literal job description and what they sign up for when they become Knights. In Buddhist philosophy, having selfish attachments is directly counter to this idea, as we see in Anakin.

Because this definition comes directly from Buddhism, this does not mean that Jedi cannot make connections. In fact, Buddhism says we are all connected (just like with the Force! Wow it's almost like that was planned), and we should have compassion for everyone. The Jedi also say this, plain and simple, in broad daylight.

(Source: @ gffa, David Thibault on Pinterest)

The best example of a Buddhist Jedi is Yoda, who was based off of literal Buddhist monks and has non-attached compassion down to a science.

So, in summary, we got the Buddhist ideas of attachment, compassion, and selfishness for the Jedi. What about everything else?

Daoism

(Source)

Next up is Daoism/Taoism! This one is possibly the least obvious if you don't have familiarity with Eastern religions and philosophies (or maybe it is for everyone else, but I was kind of surprised to see Daoism and how well it applies to SW/the Jedi). Let's get into it

What is Daoism/Taoism?

**Same disclaimer for Daoism that I had for Buddhism! Except I know even less about Daoism than I do about Buddhism. Again, if you have more questions, I recommend doing outside research because I'm about to tell you just about everything I know on Daoism here**

First things first, how do you spell it? Daoism or Taoism?

There's no actual difference between them. The sound at the beginning of the word doesn't really exist in English, but it's somewhere between D and T, and translators often switch between the two. I use D because I just like the way Daoism sounds better than Taoism, but that's literally such a dumb reason. Call it whichever, people will understand you! There's gonna be a lot of those in this, since Chinese to English translation is tricky on the best of days and translating Daoism is... well, we'll get to it

Lau Tzu, from source

Daoism is one of the six great philosophical schools of China. It emerged around 3 century CE when Lao Tzu wrote the Dao De Jing (also known as the Tao Te Ching. To keep my spelling of D/T consistent, I'll be using the Dao De Jing spelling). The story goes that he was a great sage of his time, and he was stopped by Chinese border patrol one day. When the agents recognized who he was, they begged him for advice and pearls of wisdom. So, he gave it to them, and someone (possibly Lao Tzu, possibly one of the agents) wrote it down. This would be awesome and hilarious, because the Dao De Jing is a short book, but it has 80+ poems/maxims/stories in it, which means mans was there for way longer than the border patrol probably wanted him there

It's also possible that Lao Tzu doesn't exist and the Dao De Jing was actually written by multiple people buuuuut the other explanation is more fun so let's go with that

Dao De Jing roughly translates to "The Book of Virtue and Wisdom." In it are a lot of verses that explain the Daoist school of thought. They can be translated in many ways, but the version I read was in poetry. Here are a few excerpts that I think explain the Daoist religion the best:

"The way you can go isn’t the real way. The name you can say isn’t the real name. Heaven and earth begin in the unnamed: name’s the mother of the ten thousand things. So the unwanting soul sees what’s hidden, and the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants. Two things, one origin, but different in name, whose identity is mystery. Mystery of all mysteries! The door to the hidden."

Source: "1, Taoing" Tao Te Ching, trans. Ursula K. Le Guin

"Not praising the praiseworthy keeps people uncompetitive. Not prizing rare treasures keeps people from stealing. Not looking at the desirable keeps the mind quiet. So the wise soul governing people would empty their minds, fill their bellies, weaken their wishes, strengthen their bones, keep people unknowing, unwanting, keep the ones who do know from doing anything. When you do not-doing, nothing’s out of order."

Source: "3, Hushing." Tao Te Ching, Ursula K. Le Guin

"Be completely empty. Be perfectly serene. The ten thousand things arise together; in their arising is their return. Now they flower, and flowering sink homeward, returning to the root."

Source: "10, Returning to the Root." Tao Te Ching, Ursula K. Le Guin

Now if you think that these are confusing and difficult to parse, you'd be correct. It's not just cause they're written as poems and not just cause they're translations between two difficult languages to translate; the Dao De Jing is intentionally written to be difficult to understand. You have to work to understand the Dao (the Way), and that's how Lao Tzu intended it. But part of the work in understanding the Dao is part of the experience of the religion. In other words, putting the work to try and understand the Dao is already halfway there!

Because I'm nice and because I want some baseline understandings for this discussion, I'll go ahead and give you broadly accepted interpretations of and concepts from the Dao De Jing.

The goal is to be unified with everything around you. All things cycle into each other and influence each other, and the goal of the Way is to be one with the natural flow of the universe

There is a common delusion that things are separate from each other. In Daoism, this is false. Nothing is truly separated- all things flow into each other and become each other in time (This is where yin and yang come from)

Adding off of that last point, identifying things too much will result in privileging one over the other. In Daoism, humans operate too much in absolute terms- what is good, what is bad, why each is each, and how to keep the good without having the bad. But all things must cycle into each other (dirt to flowers to dirt, sun to moon to sun, winter to summer to winter, etc), otherwise there is no balance, and no Way to follow

To follow the Way, you have to practice wu wei, or non-doing. In its absolute simplest terms, non-doing is going with the flow, but in a very specific way. Non-doing requires acting organically and adapting as specific opportunities arise. Having an end goal is contrary to the Way. Instead, the philosophy of wu wei says that what you need/want will come to you naturally if you follow the flow of nature

Expect things in unexpected places (but not... like... expecting? Cause you gotta Go With The Flow y'know? Anyways)

Pacifism to the Max

You must follow the Way completely and fully. Half-assing the Dao will result in being generally unhappy since you're not actively pursuing your goals either outside the Way or inside the Way. So it's just like lose-lose no matter what

There's like... more. But that's enough to delve into the Jedi methinks so let's do it.

Daoism and the Jedi (and Star Wars overall)

Jedi are notorious for defying expectations. A crotchety old frog is the most powerful Jedi in the Order. The most devout Jedi Padawan ends up being the person who tried to blow up their Temple. The person who will become The Villain of All Time is regarded as being well on his way to being one of the Best Jedi in the Order, if not already there. The list goes on. The same crotchety old frog says everything as cryptically as possible to force his students to do the work to understand what he's saying (a mannerism that many Jedi copy, if they're not as cryptic as Yoda). The Jedi are not pacifists, per se, but they go out of their way to be non-violent as often as possible (this overlaps with the Buddhist idea of attachments and their relation to violence). The Jedi also try to treat within their Order the same, and hierarchy is pretty loose.* Also, the Force is the Way. It literally flows through everything, it doesn't get more obvious than that. Also, "do or do not, there is no try," anyone?

*This point is contentious, I know, but looking canon it's true. The Jedi do not privilege one Jedi over another- councilor members seem to be treated roughly the same inside the Order as every other Knight or Master. The difference between Knight and Master is nebulous at best and the only difference between the two seems to be raising a Padawan. But at what point beyond that does a Knight become a Master? Why are Knights also called Masters and vice versa? Padawans and younglings are a different story, but certainly within ranks there is little differentiation.

But more than that, the world that the Jedi operate in is very Daoist. The Light and Dark side of the Force come from yin and yang (though, due to Buddhist and Christian influences, yin isn't quite the Dark side and yang isn't quite the Light, but the idea definitely came from Daoism). Light and dark people have bits of both in them, as Clone Wars goes out of its way to demonstrate over and over again. In The Last Jedi, Luke outright states that the Force is what ties together the Light and the Dark, and that they cycle into each other. This is reinforced over and over again. In Mortis,

Source

On Ahch-To,

Source

And just about every time anyone says where there is great light there is also great darkness, plus a lot in Legends content because Legends writers apparently love playing with this.

Also, time in Daoism (and generally in Eastern religions/philosophies) is cyclical. In the West, we view time as cyclical- one thing happened back then and it won't ever happen the same way again. But in Daoism, the same events happen over and over again in a continual cycle, just as they do in nature. Star Wars operates in the exact same way. The Republic rises, then the Empire, then the Republic, then the First Order, and on and on. Characters rise and fall with their times, and at times, it seems like the same story is doomed to play out over and over again. Where exists bright light, also exists deep night; every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Alright, back to the Jedi Mantra. Now that we're in Daoism, let's look at the weird one:

"Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force."

Source

Many interpretations of this mantra have focused on the idea that both exist, and I personally agree with that interpretation, especially in the context of Daoism. The key with Daoism is that Daoists aren't trying to change the world, like Christians or Buddhists. They're simply trying to be one with the universe, as is the natural state of things. They do not deny the chaos, but harmonize with it instead. They do not deny death, they simply follow the Way/Dao/Force to death when it's time. The key to Daoism is holding contradictions together and finding the way between them like water in a stream, instead of choosing one side over another. Also, tell me this doesn't read like the Dao De Jing? You can't because it does.

(Side note: the holding contradictions together thing is also the explanation behind Obi-Wan's iconic line "Only the Sith deal in absolutes." Sith cannot acknowledge shades of gray or sides that are not their own: for the Sith, there is only their side and everyone else's side, and their side is always right. Jedi are trained to see the white dot in the black swirl and the black dot in the white swirl. Sith can only see the black or the white, nothing in-between. This is also known as obsessive and/or antagonistic thinking.)

The best example of a Daoist Jedi is Qui-Gon Jinn, aka Mr. "Let's-Bet-On-Some-Kid-Who's-Never-Won-A-Podrace-In-His-Life" whose middle name is Maverick. Need I say more?

So, in summary, we got the "weird" and confusing parts of the Jedi religion from Daoism (though I hope I cleared some of them up! But they are meant to be confusing lmao)

Christianity

Source

"But Tori," you protest, "If the Jedi are supposed to be following the Way and the Way goes between what's good and bad, why are Jedi constantly the Good Guys who do Good Things instead of being neutral monks on their mountain?"

Well my friend, let me introduce you to a little thing called Christianity.

Now, in my opinion, the Jedi are possibly least inspired by Christianity. By in large, most of their themes and Main Religious Points can be found in either Buddhism or Daoism. But so far, all we have for motivation of why the Jedi do good things is compassion and to alleviate suffering. How do they know how to do that? The Jedi say they do it by following the Force, but how do they do it by following the Daoist Force, which says they have to be neutral as possible and one with nature?

Let's pivot to Christianity (with no disclaimer for this one because I was raised Baptist and Catholic (long story) and I actually know quite a bit about Christianity).

What is Christianity?

Christianity grew from followers of Judaism right around 0 CE. Though the Torah (the primary Jewish religious text) is official canon in Christianity, Christians follow God and Humanity's savior, the Son of God, Jesus. When Jesus was alive, He preached gospel to His followers over the course of a few years. Though there are many things that make up Christian theology, Jesus's teachings are often first, foremost, and the foundation of that theology. These were written down in the Bible in the Gospels of Mark, Matthew, Luke, and John, and further expanded into the New Testament of the Bible (the primary Christian religious text).

Jesus was real simple. He preached that there is a Good and a Bad, and both of those things are determined by the creator of the universe, God. A true Christian will do Good things, like feed the poor and respect your fellow man. If you do Bad things, that's okay! You just have to confess and repent, and you will be forgiven by God. Other Christians also must forgive you, because that is one of the Good things that All Christians Must Do. If you refuse to repent, you go to Hell when you die. If you believe in and worship God, follow all the rules, and do all the Good things, God will reward you in the afterlife by sending you to the Kingdom of Heaven, where there is No Bad Ever.

Tl;dr: don't be a dickwad and say thanks to God every once and a while and you're good homie.

Therefore, Christianity is based around three pillars: Faith, Love, and Hope. Have faith in your God to know what to love and what to do, and hope for a better tomorrow and afterlife.

Everything else is kind of extra and we don't really need it here (including the Ten Commandments, since the Jedi don't really follow them), so like... don't get mad at me for summing up Christianity like this please haha

Christianity and the Jedi

I've already alluded to this, but Jedi get their moral compass from belief and faith in the Force to essentially tell them what to do. This is fresh outta Christianity ladies, gents, and enbies; though themes overlap a bit in Daoism, Christianity takes pains to make it clear that its moral compass come from God and Jesus. If you want to read more about this, CS Lewis articulates the argument really well in Mere Christianity.

Now, this bit can be a little tricky to see clearly with the Jedi, since the Force doesn't act like the Christian God. The Christian God is generally fairly active in a Christian's life, especially in the Bible. God will straight up send heavenly messengers or like communicate with people himself in the Bible to tell them what to do, but the Force is more subtle than that. Obviously the Jedi can feel the Force, but they rarely- if ever- know what the Force is trying to tell them. So instead, Jedi seem to use more of a river current approach: where the Force flows is obviously Good, so they try to feel the Force tugging them in that direction and go there. But you can swim against the flow of a river, and sometimes it's super easy to do in still spots. That's okay! As long as you repent and turn around, it's all good.

The practice is obviously Daoist, but the Force as the Ultimate Moral Good is a Christian concept. This is why Jedi are the good guys and why following the Force generally leads to the most narratively rewarding and best outcomes- if they were purely Daoist, they'd spend their days doing things like eating wood and carving cart wheels perfectly right (Daoist stories can get more exciting, but generally Daoist hero stories revolve around mundane things like this to emphasize that the way to live is to be perfectly in tune with the world around you). Instead, Jedi often present themselves as Christian heroes. You know, the ones who follow God and defend their city from evil forces, magically know which food is poisoned, carrying people across a near-impossible to cross river, levitating and making things fly across rooms, and more. Any of this sound familiar?

The Jedi morals themselves are influenced from many places, as we've already seen. But the Dark side vs. the Light side are Western/Christian; it's very reminiscent of heaven vs. hell and the motifs in both mirror that. The Dark side is cold, aggressive, and "bad," and the Light is warm, kind, and "good" (in Daoism, these concepts are flipped). The visuals draw from Western visuals of both.

Also, Jedi are supposed to look like a cross between samurai and Christian monks, and many of the other aesthetic choices for Jedi come from one of those two influences.

Source (1, 2, 3+4)

The Vatican compared with the Jedi Temple in AotC and RotS

Jedi are also literally called Knights. How much more obvious can it get.

Christian Jedi are a little harder to nail down, but if it came down to it, I'd probably place my bets on Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan has doing Light Side things down pat, as well as forgiveness and repent. Plus, tell me he didn't sound a bit like God when he was talking to Luke in ANH.

Conclusion

So, if I had to sum up the Jedi, I'd say it like this (Bold is from Buddhism, italics is from Daoism, and bold+italics are from Christianity):

"The Jedi Order is a Force-sensitive religious group dedicated to the alleviation of suffering throughout the galaxy. Though they are mainly trained as peacekeepers, all Jedi are proficient with a lightsaber, and the Order encourages this practice as long as they use their skills to defend.

Due to their Force-sensitivity, Jedi can connect to the living things around them and sense emotions, thoughts, and sometimes memories as though they were their own. Without proper emotional regulation, Jedi can become overwhelmed and pass out or obtain other psychic damage. For this reason, the Jedi practice mindfulness and non-attachment through meditation. From a young age, Jedi are trained to regulate emotional instincts and react mindfully to their surroundings to not overwhelm themselves or others.

The Jedi follow the Will of the Force. Though this can be difficult to interpret, Jedi train their entire lives to recognize the signals of the Force as they are presented to them. The Jedi follow the "Light Side"* of the Force, which puts them in direct opposition to the Sith, who follow the Dark Side. The two have been mortal enemies since time immortal, and will continue to be so as the cycle of light and dark continues to chase itself.

*it's worth noting here that at no point in time is the Force that the Jedi follow referred to as the "light side," it's simply the Force. This implies that the Jedi truly are just following The Way, and the Sith have completely convoluted The Way.

There are two versions of the Jedi Mantra, which outline their philosophies well:

"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force"

"Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force."

The Jedi believe that fear leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads to suffering. Therefore, Jedi try to conquer fear and selfishness as much as possible, which is how the Jedi principle of non-attachment came about. Though Jedi believe in compassion and love, their duties and Force-sensitivity require them to forgo attachments, or unhealthy and obsessive relationships with others. This is a struggle that many Jedi work through their entire lives. Jedi also believe in non-material possession and contentment in the natural world. Since the natural world and the Force are intertwined with each other, this allows Jedi to listen to the Force better."

Finally, the way the Jedi follow the Force is not the only or "correct" way of following the Force. Just irl as there are no correct cultures or religions, just the ones that align with you, personally, the best, there is no correct way of practicing the Force (though the Sith are generally set up as bad guys in Star Wars, the Dark Side of the Force is corruptive by nature, and Sith are almost always rampaging killing machines, so I think we can make an exception for them). The Force seems to manifest in many different ways, so therefore the religions can too.

I hoped this helped you guys answer any questions you may have about the Jedi! This got so long so if you read to the bottom you're a real trooper. If you still have questions, feel free to rb or shoot me an ask!

#star wars #jedi #jedi order #pro-jedi #meta #star wars meta #sw discussion

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emmythespacecowgirl · 1 year

Note

Hey thank you so much for the ship I loved it ! 💖 I was wondering if I could also get a pacific ship if that's ok ??

absolutely, my friend!! this one was super easy for me, like i just think this would be the cutest pairing ever <3

I ship you with:

R.V. Burgin from The Pacific!

ship theme song: Wildwood Flower by The Carter Family

the sweetest most cutest pairing

this man is a sucker for your dark eyes and sweet round face

burgie likes to tell his friends that you're as pretty as the day he first met you

bc your round face never loses its youthful beauty

also burgie is a texas lad

he basically grew up with Tex-Mex/Hispanic culture

and he's very interested in your family and your culture and upbringing

i can see y'all meeting at a USO dance

you probably got dragged there by a friend

and burgie saw you and was immediately smitten

he knew he had to talk to you

the thing about burgie is that he's charming

he has that natural country boy charm

but he's a gentleman

so he would very respectfully ask you to dance

and being the very approachable people-pleaser that you are ;)

the rest is history <3

burgie comes from a large family

so he's very used to noisiness and lots of activity at home all the time

but being with you is so peaceful and nice

he loves just spending quality time with your serene and laidback nature

he is so proud of your kindness and friendliness

he would be at his happiest when you adopt a pet together

and just seeing you petting your little furry friend makes him smile

being a farm boy, burgie is very used to being around animals

and loves them as much as you do

burgie's paradise would be settling down on a little patch of texas land with you

adopting a few animals

and living a quiet, peaceful life with you and the family you start together <3

burgie is a big fan of life's simple pleasures

like you, he enjoys routine in his life

which made army life a lot easier

also like you, burgie has little patience for rudeness

if someone is being an asshole to you

burgie is pretty direct and to-the-point in communication

so i think the asshole would get the picture real quick..

i'm a firm believer that burgie's love language is quality time

but that doesn't discount the fact that he's also a thoughtful gift giver!

burgie's gifting tends to be more "practical"

like he's noticed that you can't reach the top shelf in the kitchen

so he crafts you a little stepping stool to help you

or you burnt your hand on a hot tray last week

so he goes into town to grab you some pot holders

not to quote him or anything, but he thinks your style is "the bee's knees" ;)

oh yeah, did i mention that he thinks you're the cutest thing ever?

he's also so proud of you!!

like you're getting your history degree?!

he thinks that's awesome!

like you, he loves plants of all kinds

(another reason he really wants to get a farm with you)

he knows how much you love to decorate

so he crawls up on the roof each year

and puts up a bunch of holiday lights

just to see you smile :)

you both are each other's trusted confidante

you tell each other your deepest secrets

you're both compassionate

you take care of your people

burgie can teach you how to say no when you have too much on your plate already

he wants you to take care of your mental health first

burgie never takes your time to recharge as "ghosting"

he's a man of many talents and projects

so he's totally fine with giving you your space and working on some of his own stuff for a while

burgie vibes with your sense of humor

he appreciates a sarcastic joke here and there

if/when y'all decide to have kids, he loves seeing you playing peacemaker with them

he appreciates your good humor

and can't think of anyone he'd rather go through life with <3

#my work #ships #the pacific ships #bob ships #burgie #rv burgin #the pacific

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eviltiddyproductions · 11 months

Text

Crash Course in Romance : Episode 2

Probability of Encountering Your Enemy at Your Worst 😂 what are title

Waittttt, he used to eat at her place years back too!?

She said daughters, so the girl must be our handball girlie's real sister. I assumed it was a friend 💀 (everyone can be an aunty!)

KDRAMAS ARE GOING TO HELL OMG why do they sneak these parental deaths on me so casually 😭🙏 y'all hate me. my god

this poor bean

i knew that aunty would feed him regardless !!! god i love shop owners who recognise you. always there for you

oh my god, she's been taking care of that girl for THIS long

our man is literally there in the restaurant grieving over his dad's death as this baby gets dropped here by her mom 😭

she just handed our baby a note ??? at least have the guts to ask your family. bffr 💀

NO WAY HER MOM DIED I'll actually stop watching you cannot take 2 parents from me in 5 minutes ???? even Vincenzo was gentler and gave me some time!!!

her mom really died nooooo

y'all hate me SO much

i think she might have to give up on her handball :/

this coach cannot be real lmao no one talks like this irl to someone's face 💀 'she isn't even your daughter, I'll let you go if your niece dies' like she's just late for practice bitch ass.

punch him !!!

why is he making her pick oh my god YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.

idk what's up with me but her wanting to call her aunt her mum and having the brightest of smiles calling her mum and running to her got me

i am again reminded of the quote that goes kids forgive so much and just want to be loved

this show is aesthetically so beautiful

is that her friend from handball helping her or someone else? :0

a loyal friend <3

is he in therapy or is this just a normal doctor

is that husband in Phillipines a cover story?

i admire the ability of anyone to eat anything in an all white outfit

oh bae i hope you don't get nauseous

that's a cool decomposer!

'you're all i have' is kind of a terrible thing to hear as a teenager 😭

did she put money in the cabinet

WHO'S THAT in her house

wait everyone has iphones here ??? lmao no Samsung z flip in sight

lmao he's dressed like a delinquent to get breakfast

look at him squabbling with her over when the shop opens. the way they don't know his classes are the reason for this 😂

LMAOOOO remind me not to cross her, her bad luck wish for him got to him real fast. although slipping from your chair is funny and not to bad 😭

sister don't move so much I'm scared someone might push you and take your number.

SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR. she was praying bad and took back the curse on that man and was promising all the good behaviour she could muster and then realised she's not gonna get the ticket and started complaining. #real

SHE GOT IN !!! SHE GOT THE 100th ticket

now why is the topper side eyeing my girlie, keep your side eye to yourself !

I love them. They're planning his fake murder in front of him 😭😂

I'm definitely not as hardworking as our girlie so I'm going to say I'm her friend because she deadass goes 'he kept looking at you, he's so into you' 💀 #mypeople

oh no my sister hasn't dated AT ALL?!!!! (She's just like me fr)

that girl is a hater for the sake of it but i get it i guess. sometimes you have weird hate vibes with people but tbh she's in a kdrama so I already know she's going to do something extremely messy.

him saying don't work too hard to his assistant is so funny actually

ahhh I checked the tags and this show has me giggling and squealing why does it look THAT cute

he got her a phoneeeee

Oh my god the stalker girl got shot ??????

kdramas without a criminal angle in some capacity challenge: failed (except bokjoo i guess) I'm not complaining. I love being anxious

girlfriend has a fling coming to pick her up !!! have fun bae <3

wait him entering the shop at night, this is the scene i saw in the previews

this is the worst story someone could've come up with it to give someone a free phone lmaooo 😭

i love her friend she's like 'what did I say, 100% in love with you'

oh so this teacher actually knows our man chi yeol.

what is this bitter ass conversation 💀 SO UNSERIOUS why is this random old classmate teacher talking like that.

I will actually climb inside and scratch him. Came here to just guilt him about a student's death and be way out of line in general. Oh my god he keeps going ???

so nasty

awww babe you shouldn't be driving in this state

oh they just missed each other

it makes me happy that he at least came back to eat

aww my sweet little brother on his morning walk with his coffee and his waffles. (this is how i want to be omg)

aww she gifted her mom that cushion

lmaooo what was that text girlie 😭🤣

awww he's offering her his seat i love them !!!

oh no what if she asks him out on a date 😭

oh she's politely declining the self phone

lmaooo Jae woo (the brother) clocked our tiger man 🤣

OH MY GOD HELLO?!!! SOMEONE SHOT THAT METAL BALL THROUGH THEIR WINDOW

my sweet girl gathered everyone, even Chiyeol who was just standing 💀 like babe get down!!!

oh this glass repair will cost her 😭

I think staying here probably saved him from getting shot alone

#crash course in romance #episode 2 #WHAT JUST HAPPENED????#written update

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praphit · 2 years

Text

Hustle: I like it raw and real

So, let's say that you invited me over for a Movie Night! You and your family bestow upon me the honor of picking the flick.

I say "Hustle"?

I go on to say "It's a movie produced by LeBron James. It stars Adam Sandler. He plays a former basketball player

(You might cut me off and say

"That Adam Sandler?" ---- YEP)

... turned NBA talent scout (working for the 76ers), sent around the world to look for stars. He loves his junk food, and he's married to Queen Latifah. "

(YEP,

THAT Queen Latifah)

You might then sigh and say to me "Dammit, Rambling Praphit. You come here, we let you pick the pizza toppings. You put pineapple on our pizza. You put M&M's in our popcorn. And If that weren't bad enough, you select this ridiculous Adam Sandler movie. *deeper sigh* Get the bleep out of our house."

Normally, I wouldn't blame you (except for the pineapple, cuz that's delicious), but we're talking SERIOUS Adam Sandler.

There's goofball AS.

And thespian AS.

I’m on the team of the latter.

I gave y'all the premise, but here are some more ingredients:

Robert Duvall is up in here (he runs the 76ers), so is Ben Foster (who always plays an asshole) next in line for the 76ers kingdom crown, and Heidi Gardner (tied in line with Ben for 76ers kingdom crown). Duvall is barely in this movie. Perhaps he’s on team Goofball AS, and thought they were filming "Grown Ups 3", but he's out, so Ben (the asshole) is in. Heidi's character just kinda leaves the film as well. Most of the bad that happens here is kind of her fault. Way to go, Heidi. Way to sit on the bench.

Sandler, with again QUEEN LATIFAH by his side finds the talent he's looking for - Bo Cruz, played by Juancho Hernangomez.

Juancho looked familiar to me. I looked him up. He's an actual NBA player. I don't know him from following basketball though, I know him from NBA video games. I remember seeing his name in a game, and thinking to myself "Juancho (a name too fun not to constantly shout) must be on my team. How cool is that?? Yay, Juancho! On to the Oscars, baby!

On a side note: when you google "Hustle cast" - this guy pops up.

No, seriously -

Lyon Beckwith. I don't remember him in this movie. He looks ridiculous (a gym membership can be a drug :).

I wish he was in this movie. They don't list a character name. Is he a stuntman? Catering? A waterboy? Did he direct? I have no idea.

Anyway, we've all seen this type of movie before:

There's a THING (in this case Basketball), but it could be anything - boxing, dance, checkers. There's an outsider (Juancho!) who's excellent at said THING, who is discovered by an American. The American must groom them, because "you're good, but are you AMERICAN good?". There are some ups, downs, some heart-warming moments. Some inspirational quotes - in this case "Never back down". There's a lot of life lessons like "Don't text and drive", and "Eat healthy" (while simultaneously rocking product placement for Burger King and Pepsi :) .

This flick checks all of the Sports Movie boxes. It's very formulaic. On a scale from 1 to 10 (one, being random, like Sam L Jackson getting eaten by that shark,

and two, comic book movies - I love you, Marvel, but... you know... ) I'd say this is a 9 1/2.

A couple of twist at the end, but they were minor.

I'm not really a Sports Movie guy, so I'll give it two grades.

Grade A-, for people who who dig these types of flicks, as well as for athletes. It could have used some time-trimming. Too many training/practicing montages for my taste, but like I said, it checks all of the boxes. And it's family-friendly... well, except for Kenny Smith (brand of wholesomeness) and Queen Latifah (also brand of wholesomeness) both saying the word "titties". Ha! - still jarring. But, what do I know?? - perhaps all families in 2022, casually throw "titties" around.

And a Grade B, for everyone else. It prob won't win any Oscars (sorry, Juancho), but it's still a good watch.

There's a part in the movie when Juancho fights with a player named Kermit. Juancho has to restrain himself, cuz... well, that's a box to check. Personally, I like my movies raw and real. For a grade A from me, I would have had Juancho wrestle with Kermit, and them have Juancho suddenly, and literally bite Kermit's head off. Then, he's shaking and waving Kermit's severed head in the air, and celebrating. Juancho goes to jail, and swiftly receives the electric chair. He horrified the nation with this act, so maybe he skips jail and goes right to the chair. Juancho's family vows revenge against the NBA for instigating this "crime". They start their assassin training - gearing up for a sequel.

Adam and Queen Latifah flee to... Russia, where they become drug lords. AND in the end, we find out that Adam Sandler was a ghost the whole time.

Now, THAT'S a Rambling Praphit Production of a Sports Movie. Good, right?? But, "Hustle" was a good story too, I guess. It's silly to compare ideas. Not everyone has it like me.

#HustleMovieNetflix #johnpraphit #praphitproductions.com #LeBronJames #NBA #KennySmith #QueenLatifah #Praphit #AdamSandler #RobertDuvall #HeidiGardner #BenFoster #Marvel #JuanchoHernangomez #NBAScouts #professionalsports #MovieReview

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catacomb231 · 2 years

Text

A Day In Life|Rody x Reader

A/N: Y'ALL KNEW IT WAS COMING! THIS MAN IS TOO AMAZING TO NOT MAKE ONE AND THERE ARE BASICALLY NONE! So here!

Also, slight spoilers for the new movie

Sum: You get approached and assaulted by a man as you're on your way back to your home. Being quirkless, you had no way to defend yourself! But luckily, a boy your age comes to your rescue.

You were speed walking back down the street to your house. Or, more like trailer.

You only ran to the nearby grocery store to buy some more cat food for Socks because you didn't know you were out of cat food!

But then you got held up in the grocery line and now it's practically dark out! Now you're hungry and tired and just want to get home, feed you and your cat, before snuggling together on the pull out couch.

That's the normal day of living in the quote on quote "slums."

On your way back, this man stops you. "Hey there pretty person~ What you doing out here all by yourself?" The man asks, a bit older than you with a yellowed toothy smile.

He also reeked of smoking and alcohol and just looked like a very dirty and shifty man.

"I'm just trying to get home." You bluntly tell him, showing him a face of disgust to let him know you're uninterested as you pushed past him and sped up your walking speed?

But this guy just can't seem to take a hint.

"Aw don't be like that! Stay a while!" The man says, grabbing your wrist. "I must be going!" You yell and yank your wrist free but he grabs you and pins you against the wall.

"You don't talk like that to me, little lady!" The man rasps. You try kicking and squirming to get free but without a quirk, your basically hopeless.

"SOME ONE HELP-" You shout but he covers your mouth. "No one is around to help you! Not even pathetic heroes!" The man tells you.

He wasn't wrong. Since you live in a not so known place, the crime is somewhat high and the heroes kind of forget people even live there. Although no big time villains. Just thieves, drug dealers, thugs, etc.

But that's when someone pulls the man off you. "Relax man! You don't wanna hurt them now, do you?" A boy around your age tells the man. He now stood in between you and the man protectively.

"But she-" The man begins but the boy cuts him off. "Will you take this and leave her alone?" He asks, pulling a beer can out of his pocket and holding it out to the man.

"Sure! Thanks!" The man says before walking off. You were honestly surprised he was so calm when facing the creepy man!

The boy then turns to you. "You okay? He didn't hurt you or anything did he?" The boy ask. "No, I'm fine. Thank you so much though!" You tell him and he just shrugs.

"It's no big deal! Just wanted to make sure you're okay. But you should get home." He tells you. "I know! I was on my way there, but it's still pretty far up the hill." You reply, pointing at it.

"Well then, I'll walk you the rest of the way!" He offers. "Oh you don't have to!"

"I insist!"

And with that, this boy who you never met before was now walking you home to make sure you'd be safe!

"Oh by the way, what's your name?" He asks.

"I'm Y/N L/N. You?"

"Rody Soul."

That's when a small pink bird pops out of his brown jacket and starts chirping and flying around you. "Sorry about that! That's Pino! She gets uh a little excited when meeting new people!" Rody says, grabbing her away from you.

"Aw, she's adorable!!" You exclaim. "Oh, thanks." He replies as Pino rests on his shoulder.

You soon get back to your trailer. "Thank you again Rody for waking me! Sorry it was so far away." You apologize. "Don't be. My house isn't far from here anyway!" Rody reassures you.

Pino then flies towards you and snuggles against your cheek while chirping, making you giggle. "Hehe u-uh that's enough Pino!" He says grabbing her again.

"Anyway see ya around!" He says waving as he walked back down the hill.

"Bye!" You call out before heading inside, a light blush dusting your face.

#mha #bnha #mha reader insert #fluff #mha rody #rody soul #mha rody soul #bnha rody #mha world heroes mission #world heroes mission #mha rody x reader #rody x reader #catacomb

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maddiwrites · 3 years

Text

Secrets of the Shore (Chapter10)

Pairing: Pogues x OC, Eventually JJ x OC

Summary: This is just my rewrite of the show Outer Banks with my own twist by adding another main character which also happens to be John B’s twin sister.

Note: Happy Valentines Day y’all! Hope your day was filled with love (even if you’re not in a relationship) Thank you guys for reading! I’m sorry I’m torturing you with the tension between Marleigh and JJ but I gotta keep you on your toes somehow (;

Word Count: 5.6 k

Chapter 9

When I drop my things off at Kie's house and invite myself to stay at her house for a few days, she bombards me with questions. Most of them revolve around John B. Where is he? How are we going to find him? How do we know he's okay? Of course I don't have the answers to any of these questions, which only makes the curly brunette more worried.

"Look, he's going to be fine," I tell her as we walk down her long driveway where Pope and JJ are waiting for us. "John B wouldn't let them take him without a fight. Plus, I oddly take the fact that I haven't even gotten one phone call from him as a good sign. If he was at the station, they would probably use him to bait me."

When we get closer to the boys, I bite my lip to hide my smile. The blonde smirks back at me and even throws in a wink. Every nerve in my body ignites with a fire-like spark when I look at his sparkling blue eyes. I can't believe I almost kissed my best friend. I don't know what it would do to our friendship if something were to happen.

The thought terrifies me enough to make my smile falter. I can't lose JJ. I can't fuck up the best thing I have in my life which is my friendship with Kie, Pope, and especially JJ.

JJ tilts his head to look at me questioningly so I plaster a fake grin on my face.

The movie is being projected in an open field on Figure Eight. They have a huge blow up screen and a projector in front of it. There's already about fifty people here and more on the way.

We set up our lawn chairs in the middle of the field. My chest tightens with anxiety when we're surrounded by Kooks and Tourons. Rafe and his friends could be hiding anywhere in the faces around us. I can tell Pope is thinking the same thing. His head is snapping back and froth, left and right, keeping an eye out for the people who want to kill us. JJ tries to calm him down, but nothing settles him.

"Back to OBX life," Kie says as she sits down next to me. She opens the cooler at her feet and hands me a bag of grapes she packed. "You know? Aren't you glad I made you come?"

"Ecstatic," I mutter. My eyes scan the crowd for dudes with slicked back hair and neon shorts.

"My couch was pretty comfy, I'll be honest," JJ says next to me. He reaches into the bag of grapes and steals a few. He throws them in the air, catching them in his mouth.

Kie stands up to grab a couple of sodas from the snack bar. The second she's out of ear shot, Pope whips his head in our direction. His eyes are big with fear as they study every face that walks through the field.

"We're out of the green zone, man," Pope whispers on the other side of JJ.

"Dude, tranqüilo, okay?" JJ says.

"We're in the middle of kooklandia," Pope says. "This is the last place I wanted to be."

"Shut up, Pope," I hiss when I see Kie making her way back to us with three Pepsis in her hand. She has a scowl on her face. That can't be good.

"Just saw Rafe, and he said, and I quote, 'Tell your boy that we know what he did.'" Kie looks between JJ and Pope with raised brows. She doesn't look happy. She looks suspicious and somewhat annoyed that she doesn't know what Rafe is talking about. "What is that?"

Pope snaps his head in the direction of the snack bar. JJ tries to act normal and purses his lips. He avoids Kie's glare by looking at me, immediately throwing me under the bus for knowing their secret too.

Kie turns to look at me with her mouth slightly open. "You know?" I open my mouth to respond but she cuts me off. "Why do you know and I don't? What did you guys do?"

"Where is he?" JJ asks, glancing over his shoulder.

"Right there." Kie points at the snack bar where Rafe, Topper, and Kelce are throwing popcorn at each other. They look up and smirk in our direction.

"Great, the whole death squad," Pope says.

JJ grabs the top of Pope's head and physically turns it back to the screen. "Don't stare, bro."

I feel my hands clench around the arms of my beach chair. I know for a fact that tonight's not going to be as easy as we thought it would be. And I hate that its because of Rafe of all people.

"Just warning you, bro. If they corner me, I'm coming out swinging, okay? Slice and dicin'. I'm on edge right now," JJ says, shaking out his shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah," Pope nods in agreement, which makes both Kie and I look at him incredulously. Pope's a lover, not a fighter.

"If that doesn't work, I got this right here," JJ smacks his backpack that I now know his gun is in.

"Yeah, yeah," Pope continues to nod. He's so deep in fear that he doesn't even realize that JJ just offered to whip a gun out in a sea of people and children.

"So, we just gotta stay in the group," JJ says, officially ignoring Kie's glares. "They can't get us in the group."

"Like a school of fish," Pope agrees. "Stay in the school. Can't leave the school."

I roll my eyes. "Oh my god. We're screwed."

"I'm sorry, JJ," Kie leans over me to get a better look at the blonde boy sitting next to me. "Please tell me that you did not bring a gun here." JJ just stares at her blankly. "JJ, there are kids!"

"No!" JJ snaps. "Kie, I didn't bring the gun. Okay? Everything's fine."

"Wow thank you. That's really convincing. I love that JJ," Kie says sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"Welcome to the summer movie series!" A man stands at the front of the field by the screen with a microphone in his hand, addressing the crowd.

"Founding principle you guys," Kie says with a quieter voice. "No secrets amongst Pogues." She looks at me and holds her stare. I swallow the bad memories that threaten to rise to the surface. I know she's implying the secret that she's been keeping for me. The one she wants me to tell the others. And now I'm hiding another secret. From her of all people. "What is Rafe talking about?"

I open my mouth to try to calm her down, but JJ cuts me off, which only makes matters worse.

"Kie, it might go down tonight."

I groan and roll my eyes.

"What does that mean?" Kie asks. She even slaps me on my shoulder with the back of her hand. If looks could kill...

"Might go down tonight..." Pope says slowly.

"What did y'all do?"

JJ leans closer to Pope and says in his ear, "Deny, deny, deny."

I look at Kie with soft eyes. "Do you trust me?" Kie reluctantly nods and glances between me and the boys. I grab her wrist to make her look at me, my eyes pleading. "Then trust me when I tell you that the less you know, the better."

Kie finally drops the subject and sits back into her seat. She's not happy about not knowing and if I were her, I'd feel the same way. But its best if she doesn't know.

We watch the movie with tension in our shoulders and frowns on our lips. Our relaxing night took a turn for the worst. I can't even focus on the movie or JJ being so close to my side, our shoulders practically against each other. All I can feel is a pair of eyes on the back of my head, burning holes through my skull.

Halfway through the movie I hear Pope lean in closer to JJ. His voice is a whisper but I detach my focus from the movie to listen. "JJ?"

"What?" JJ whispers back.

"Gotta take a piss," Pope says.

I look over my shoulder towards the bathrooms. Like I suspect, the Kooks are gathered around it.

"Hold it," JJ hisses.

"I can't hold it. I drank too much soda."

"It's too exposed. They'll totally see us."

"I gotta go," Pope says more definitively.

JJ looks in the direction I was just looking at. "They're blocking the bathrooms." JJ sighs and looks ahead. "Come here. I know where."

JJ pulls Pope up by his arm and walks in the opposite direction of the bathroom, towards the movie screen.

"Hey, where y'all going?" Kie calls out in a hushed whisper.

"We gotta wring it out," JJ says.

"You gonna hold it for each other?" Kie responds which makes me laugh.

They don't reply. They walk around the screen to the other side. The second they're out of view, Kie turns to look at me with a face that says she wants answers and she wants them now.

"Please don't ask me to tell you."

"You're making me worried," Kie says honestly.

I sigh with guilt, completely understanding the feeling. If the three of them were hiding something from me, my mind would be racking through millions of different thoughts about what it was.

"Does it have to do with the day you got that?" Kie points to the bruise on my face.

I bite my lip and turn towards the movie, trying my best not to let her convince me to tell her. If the cops were to get involved, I want Kie to be as innocent as possible. They would probably never go after her because she lives on Figure Eight, but knowing Kie, she would do whatever she needed to help her best friends.

I look over my shoulder again, making sure the Kooks were still guarding the bathroom, but my heart stops when I don't see them.

"Shit," I stand up and step through the crowd of people, running to where Pope and JJ disappeared.

As I get closer to the screen I can hear the heavy grunts of guys fighting from behind it. Pope and JJ are fighting against Kelce, Rafe, and Topper. I shuffle on my two feet, not sure where to go, who to help first.

Kelce has his arms wrapped around JJ's, holding him against his chest and leaving him open for Rafe's punches . A couple feet away from them, Topper and Pope wrestle on the grass, throwing hands wherever will make contact with skin.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kie running towards Pope and Topper with JJ's backpack. I run towards Rafe and shove him back by his shoulders. I risk a glance at JJ. His face is red from the Kooks' punches and there's a split in his bottom lip. The sight of him being hurt is enough to make my vision blur to red.

I shove Rafe backwards by his shoulders again. The older boy just laughs at me humorlessly, only fueling the fire to my rage. I narrow my eyes into a glare and take another menacing step towards him.

"Mar, stop!" I hear JJ call behind me but I ignore him.

"Let go of him, Topper!" I hear Kie say a little further away. She's beating him with JJ's backpack and jumping on Topper's back to get him away from Pope.

"I told you I was going to find out who did it," Rafe says.

"And I told you we didn't do shit," I say, keeping my face steady with a scowl. I turn to send daggers in Kelce's direction. "Let him go."

Rafe whistles and keeps the cocky smirk spread across his face. "Would you look at this. I think someone has a little soft spot for the blonde Pogue over here. Don't you think Kelce? I mean princess over here didn't even acknowledge her other friend."

"You know what? I don't think you're worried about who sunk Topper's boat. That would have to mean you actually care about someone other than yourself. I think your problem is with me."

The older boy scoffs, "With you?"

"Yeah," I take another step closer to him. "It must be really frustrating when the guy who gets everything he wants without lifting a perfectly manicured finger can't even get laid by ...oh what was it that you called me? The Cut's biggest whore? Must be pretty pathetic that some whore won't even sleep with you."

The back of Rafe's hand slaps me across the face, snapping my head with the direction of his hand. I hear JJ cry after me but its muffled by my back slamming into the grass with a weight on top of me.

Rafe's hands encircle around my neck and they squeeze tighter than they did the other day when I was in this same position. But this time, I wanted this because it got his attention away from JJ.

"You know, they say Pogues are the one's with the short temper," I chuckle maliciously. My voice is raspy and my throat is on fire, but I'm loving how easy it is to get under Rafe's skin. "But a little taste of reality is all it takes to ignite your fuse."

"Marleigh!" JJ shouts. I hear the sound of fists connecting with skin, followed by grunts and groans. "Rafe I swear to god -"

"Go ahead," I wrap my fingers around Rafe's wrists to try and pull him off of me but he's too strong. "But killing me will only add to your dad's growing list of reasons why you're his biggest disappointment."

Rafe grips my neck tighter, completely cutting off my air supply. The pounding in my ear muffles the cries and shouts from all my friends. From the Kooks. I can barely breathe and my vision sparkles with white specks. I try fighting him, but his rage is now stronger than mine.

Heat flows through my body and sweat bubbles at my hairline. I see orange out of the corner of my eye, but I think that's just my vision blurring together. A second later, I feel the weight of Rafe's body lifted off of me. There's a thump from the ground next to me and more heavy grunts. When I look up, I watch the screen light up in flames. Literally.

I gasp for breath and turn on my side. I can feel the contents of my stomach rising up my throat, leaving my throat in even more burning anguish. I pant for air, inhaling sharply and ignoring the sharp pain from my lungs.

I feel warm hands wrap around my biceps, pulling me up to my feet. My legs and arms feel like rubber, but I muster up enough strength to walk out of here. I'd be damned if I let Rafe see me as some weak link again.

Topper, Kelce, and Pope try pulling JJ off of Rafe who jams his fist against Rafe's face relentlessly. JJ's face is red with anger, his scowl hardening with every hit.

"JJ!" I call out to him. I know this is only going to get him in more trouble. They're Kooks. They never get in trouble. Leaving any kind of mark on Rafe's skin will call for consequences. That's just how it goes around here and we can't be stupid to it. "JJ, stop!" I try breaking out of Kie's grip. "JJ! You're going to kill him!"

JJ's head snaps in my direction. His eyes scan wildly down my body, looking for any source of life threatening injuries. I try to grin assuringly at him, but it's hard to turn my lips upwards.

When JJ is distracted, Pope manages to pull him away. The Kooks grab Rafe by his shoulders and yank him in the opposite direction. If we don't want to be caught, we all have to leave right now. The fire department and probably the police will be here any second to put out the fire.

When we're finally separated, I pull myself away from Kie and run directly into JJ's arms. He wraps himself around my waist and lifts me off the ground to pull me even closer to his body. I snuggle my face into the crook of his neck and hold him tight.

He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. It's all I can manage to say in my head.

~ ~ ~

No one says a word the entire ride home from the movies. But even without it being discussed, we knew none of us wanted to spend the night alone. I can't go back to my house and Kie's parents wouldn't want all of us at her's, so she drives us to Pope's.

Pope didn't get too hurt in the scuffle. In fact he's the one that threw the first punch...well the first head. He head butted Topper before the Kook had a chance to swing. Kie's only injury was a small burn on her finger from when she flicked the lighter to burn down the screen. JJ and I however are bruised and sore.

Kie helps Pope set up his living room for all of us to sleep. Before I can offer to help, JJ tugs on my hand and brings me down the hall towards the bathroom. He locks the door behind me.

I tilt my head and my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "Are you okay?"

JJ steps closer to me, basically pinning my body against the door. My breath hitches in my throat as his hands come up to cup my jaw. He's so close I can feel his breath on my face. He pulls my head up and tilts it to the side. He looks down at my neck, looking for bruises and scratches that Rafe might have left me with. My neck is sore and it hurts to swallow, but that's it. Even his backhand didn't leave a mark on my cheek.

"Hey," I say softly. I pull his hands away from my face and intertwine our fingers together. "I'm okay."

"He could have killed you," JJ says through clenched teeth.

"But he didn't."

"But -"

"No buts," I tell him. Unwrapping one hand from his, I pull him further into the bathroom and tap on the sink counter top, motioning for him to hop up and sit so I can take a look at his face which looks worse the mine. "Come on."

JJ reluctantly hops on the counter. I go to the closet and pull out a small face towel and run it under cold water. Standing between his legs, I lightly dab the towel on his bottom lip that's split down the middle. I bite my lip nervously under the scrutiny of his stare. Neither of us say anything, relaxed in the comfort of the other one's presence. I feel safe when I'm with him. There's no Kooks versus Pogues. There's no abusive fathers or DCS. Its just me and him.

I drop the towel next to JJ and slowly touch the hem of his shirt. I look up at him, waiting for him to give me the go-ahead or to stop me. I need to see the damage that can be hidden with clothes.

JJ nods slowly and lets me pull his shirt up. His toned abs are the first thing I notice. I've seen him without a shirt hundreds of times, but something about this moment makes me stare. Maybe it's how close I'm standing next to him, or how I can feel the warmth radiating from his skin onto mine.

His body isn't marked with any discoloration and his ribs are still intact. When I pull his shirt back down and nod to say he's okay, I'm looking deep into his eyes - the eyes that never left mine.

"Are you okay?" He asks. His voice is soft and raspy, sexy even.

I nod my head, grinning, "Yes. I promise. Are you?"

"I swear to god, I'm going to kill him."

"J-"

"He hurt you, Mar!" JJ finally snaps. "He had his hands wrapped around your throat!"

"Shh," I shush him by pressing my index finger against his lips, afraid that he's going to wake up Pope's parents. "It's okay."

"It's not and you know it!" JJ sighs and lets his shoulders relax when I look at him pleadingly. He takes my hand and wraps it around his own. He brings it to his lips, gently kissing the tender skin around my knuckles. Blush creeps up my neck to my cheeks. I lean in closer to him, pressing my hips against the counter and glancing between my hand, his lips, and his eyes.

Every fiber in my being tells me to lean in further and finally press my lips against his. At this moment I don't care about the rules or what it might do to our friendship or what John B might say about it. I just want to feel him, every part of him, against me. I want to forget the rest of the world exists and just be with JJ.

But I don't. Because Kie quietly knocking on the door pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, are you guys okay?" She asks.

The corner of JJ's lips tug upwards into a slanted grin, causing mine to do the same. I take a step backwards and help him down from the counter.

Kie looks between us confused. I grin at her and nod my head to show her that we're both okay. JJ grins to himself and follows me out to the living room where Pope is already passed out on the couch.

I bend down to lay on the makeshift bed on the floor made out of blankets and pillows. I was expecting Kie to lay down next to me, but JJ takes the spot to my left.

Kie trudges to the other couch, too tired to say anything about the fight or JJ and I. I know she'll wanna talk about it later with me. She always does when it involves Rafe.

I keep my eyes trained to the ceiling. My body is exhausted but I'm not tired. I finally feel like I defended myself against Rafe today, a personal accomplishment and a milestone. I don't think my feud with Rafe will ever go away. I think we'll always hate each other until one of us leaves the island for good. But at least he knows I won't put up with his crap anymore. With or without his dad's money.

I don't know how long I've been staring at a blank canvas of nothing. Not even Pope's snores can lullaby me to sleep. I turn my body towards JJ. I wonder if kissing him in the bathroom would have been a mistake or not. Maybe it would disrupt the peace in our friend group, but I can't deny my feelings for him anymore. I know what I want and that's JJ. I would do anything for the blonde lying next to me.

I watch his chest rise up and down slowly. His lips are slightly parted as he sleeps. My fingers delicately play with the shark tooth necklace around his neck. I've always loved this necklace on him, even thought about getting one myself. But I knew Kie would tease me endlessly if I did.

"You know, some people think it's rude to stare," JJ's raspy voice pulls me out of my head. His eyes are still closed and his lips are now turned up into a smirk from catching me in the act.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," I whisper.

"How come you're not sleeping?"

"My head won't let me," I reply. "Just thinking. Hey, where did you get this?"

JJ slowly opens his eyes and looks down at my thumb that glides over the smooth surface of the shark tooth. "Pretty sure this is from the country club's gift shop."

I shake my head with a grin, expecting nothing less from my klepto friend. "Of course it is."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"When did Rafe call you a whore?"

I drop my hand from his necklace and lay it flat on his chest. JJ takes his arm and rests it behind his head, sitting up to look at me. I shrug like it's no big deal.

"It was a long time ago."

"Why would he call you that?"

"The Kook doesn't handle rejection very well. It's fine, JJ."

JJ sighs. "You would tell me if someone really hurt you, right?"

This time my eyes flicker back up to meet his. His gaze feels delicate, like if he looked at me any other way, I'd break. I think he knows something but he's not telling me. Maybe that's for the better. After tonight, I never want to tell him what Rafe almost did to me. I don't trust JJ to not run off to actually try to murder the Kook.

"I'm fine."

"You're not answering the question. Please, Mar. I know Pope's hiding something too. Something about you. About the other day."

I swallow thickly and nod my head. "Of course I'd tell you."

Guilt trickles through me at the lie. JJ trusted me enough to tell me about his dad, and I had the same reaction JJ would probably have if I told him about Rafe. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

JJ nods. I can't tell if he believes me or not but he drops the subject and opens his arms for me to cuddle into him. "Come here."

I snuggle into his side and wrap my arm around his waist. This feels good, this feels normal. For a second, I forget that Kie and Pope are even in the same room as us. JJ's warm. He smells like grass, cologne, and a hint of weed. I match my breathing to his and let my eyes close, finally falling into a deep dreamless slumber.

~ ~ ~

When the four of us wake up, we offer to help Heyward out at his shop as a thank you for letting us stay over. I'm waiting for Kie to say something to me about being wrapped around JJ when we all woke up, but she doesn't say anything. Instead she passes me looks of concern. I can tell she's itching to talk about last night.

Pope's in his head about last night too and he's not giving himself enough credit for fighting Topper back.

"Don't let it get in your head," JJ says. "Three of them and two of us. That's typical Kook shit right there."

"Hell yeah," Kie says, agreeing.

"What was your thought process, using your head?"

Pope shrugs. "I don't know, man. I just kind of acted off instinct. I was a cornered animal."

Heyward walks into the shop and approaches us. I can already tell by his face that he's not about to tell us we can take a souvenir to go. His eyes are trained on his son and he looks worried. "Hey, Pope, someone here to see you."

The three of us look at Pope for some kind of tell as to who might be here for him, but he looks just as confused as the rest of us.

We follow him outside where Officer Shoupe is waiting for him. My heart drops deep into the pit of my stomach. I glance between the officer and Pope, knowing exactly who was to blame for this.

"Morning, officer," Pope says nervously. He looks like he's about to puke.

Shoupe doesn't greet him. Instead he slowly approaches my friend with a paper in his hand. "I have an arrest warrant for felony of destruction of property."

Fucking Topper.

"What?" Heyward says loudly. He looks between Shoupe and Pope, then to us as if we could explain the misunderstanding.

Shoupe moves closer to Pope. "Hands where I can see them." Kie immediately steps in to block the officer's path, saying something about how he can't do this. "Young lady, out of my way. Look at the warrant."

"You're arresting him?" I say, moving next to Pope. I narrow my eyes at the stuck up officer. I know for a fact that the police don't have any evidence that can prove Pope did it. The only witnesses were me and JJ.

"You're just arresting my boy?" Heyward says defensively.

Shoupe ignores both of us and grabs Pope by the arm and forcefully takes him to the car.

"Be careful!" Kie yells at him.

I can't wrap my brain around what is happening. Pope is the last person who should ever go to jail. What happened to Topper's boat is fair game. Okay, yes, maybe illegal, but so is assault which the Kooks did first!

"Shoupe, are you listening?" Heyward yells.

Shoupe ignores us again and starts reading Pope his rights. Our friend looks back at us, specifically at JJ and I, the ones who knew the truth. JJ grips the routes of his hair stressfully as I try to come up with any kind of idea to get him out of it.

"How much did they pay you, man?" JJ says, taking a step closer to the car.

"Stop!" I yell. This time Shoupe turns to look at me. So does everyone else. I do the only thing I can think of. "It wasn't him. It was -"

"It was me!" JJ says quickly.

My head snaps in his direction with an open mouth and wide eyes. He refuses to look at me, keeping his eyes on Shoupe and Pope.

"JJ -"

JJ cuts me off, "He tried to talk me out of it, but I was mad because he'd just been beaten up." The blonde takes another step closer to Shoupe. "I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." He looks at Pope with a look that tells him to go along with it. A look that tells him why he's doing this. "I can't let you take the blame for something I did. You've got too much to lose."

"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope stares at him with big eyes.

My eyes narrow into a glare as I stare at the back of JJ's head. Fear rises up my chest and tightens around my heart. Why is he doing this? I was going to do it! They're already looking for me anyway to take me to DCS. JJ's bargaining a lot for his friend. The others think he's only going to be arrested, but I know his punishment isn't going to stop there. His dad is going to be pissed. And I know what happens when his dad is pissed.

"I'm telling the truth," JJ says. "For once in my goddamn life, I'm gonna tell the truth." He looks over his shoulder, glancing at me before looking at Heyward. "Stole his old man's boat too."

"What the hell?" Heyward says.

"JJ, come on," Pope pleads.

"Just shut up, Pope!" JJ snaps. "Just shut up." He looks back at Shoupe. "He's a good kid. You know where I'm from."

"Yeah," Shoupe says, agreeing that he wouldn't put this past JJ.

"This was all me."

Shoupe sighs and looks at Pope one more time. "That's the whole truth?"

"Whole truth, swear to god!" JJ says loudly.

"I know what you think, damn it, I'm asking Pope."

I look at Pope with clenched teeth, fighting my tears off with heavy breaths. I don't want Pope to agree, but I can't let him be taken away either. I can only watch as JJ does something so incredibly stupid, I don't know if he'll come back from it.

"Yeah," Pope says hesitantly. "That about covers it."

Shoupe nods and pulls out his handcuffs. Knowing the drill a little too well, JJ turns and lets Shoupe snap the handcuffs around his wrist.

"JJ!" I call out to him. I'm about to run over to him but Kie steps in my way, holding me back from making a mistake. "No, stop!"

JJ looks at me one last time before Shoupe shuts the back door with him inside. He nods once, trying to tell me he's going to be okay. But I know better. No one understands the risk he just took by taking the fall for Pope. For me.

"Ms. Routledge," Shoupe says before getting in the driver's seat. "Have you spoken to your brother?"

I pull away from Kie and glare at the old man, feeling nothing but hatred for him. "No. I haven't seen him."

"I suggest you go home and pack a bag. DCS is looking for the both of you. I'd take you in myself, but I can't without a social worker present."

I don't say anything. I just hold his stare.

When Shoupe drives away, I turn back to my best friend and pull at my hair. I start to hyperventilate, thinking about how JJ's dad is going to react when he hears JJ's been arrested. It doesn't take a lot to rile Luke Maybank up into a rage. I don't even want to think about what he's going to think about this.

Kie holds me to her, the both of us crying into each other's shoulders while Pope tries to come up with an explanation for his father. I let my best friend hold me. I don't care if bystanders are watching us. I don't care how pathetic I look. I can only think of JJ. I can only think about how I'm going to get JJ back.

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 11*

Chapter 10

Chapter 12

Tag List

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@mrsrafaelbarba

Alright this one is kinda short but I needed a cliffhanger, and I need to get to fifteen now. Also, I had to write the ending of this in the car and it's difficult so I ended it where I did. Plus I love watching y'all squirm. SUFFER.

----------------------

Rafael hadn’t texted you back since you told him you didn’t care whether he believed you or not, maybe he had gotten the hint and decided to leave you alone. Why didn’t that make you feel any better? You knew what you had told Sonny was true; you couldn’t be in any kind of relationship with anyone but alcohol.

You’d never admit it to Sonny since he was so proud of you lately, but the monster inside you may be present more than you let on. It wasn’t big things that set you off sometimes, sometimes it was just one bad grade on a test, or being lonely.

You knew you needed to reach out to someone, anyone other than Sonny. Get some friends of your own, people you could talk to. But you were too ashamed of your problems and your life to ever approach anyone. Even when students in your class would ask you to go out with them after school, you’d always decline in fear of what you might do while you were out. You could keep yourself from having more than one drink on your own, but the social pressure of being around other people drinking made you just want to keep going. And you knew where that led. Where it always led.

You had kept the monster at bay for so long, it was exhausting most days. And now that you had fed it and let it loose, you were too tired to even try and reign it back in. So here you were, practically unable to move from being so sick from drinking fucking mouthwash rather than ride out your cravings.

You looked up at the sky and began to pray for God to just take you right there and then, just so you would have to stop feeling like this. Not just physically ill, but completely devastated and heartbroken that the one time you had ever opened yourself to someone, opened yourself to love, the monster inside you killed it. Just like it killed everything. Now you just wanted it to kill you. You were just about to grab some pure rubbing alcohol from under your bathroom sink to drink, you knew it was lethal if you drank about a capful. You had it up to your lips when you heard a banging on your front door.

“Y/N! Y/N open this door!”

Were you still that fucked up or was that actually Rafael banging on your door? No, it couldn’t be. Could it? You decided it was worth at least checking, if you had hallucinated it you could always come back to the bathroom. You forced yourself to stand up and hobbled towards your front door, still afraid to open it. If it really was him, you didn’t want him to see you like this. Your t-shirt was covered in bright green vomit stains, your hair was messy from puking, your hadn’t checked but you figured your face was probably disgusting.

“...I’m not home!” The words came out before your sense kicked in to tell you that was literally the most idiotic thing you could say. Clearly he’d know you were fucked up now.

“I’m not kidding! I’ll break down this door, I swear to God,” His voice was angrier than you’d ever heard him. Well, that wasn’t saying much considering you hadn’t known him that long but still.

“Uh...okay, just a second!” You called nervously, doing your best to quickly change your shirt and fix your hair.

You grabbed a semi clean t-shirt laying on your couch and threw your hair up in a messy ponytail, wiping the dried vomit and drool from your face. You glanced in the mirror, you looked messy but just messy enough you were pretty sure you could pull off “I’m emotionally destroyed because of you” not “I’m totally trashed and fucked in the head because of you,” You tried walking as straight as you could to the door and softly opened it a bit, not letting him inside.

“Hey…” You gave him a sheepish smile. Wait, weren’t you supposed to be mad at him? Don’t act nice now just because you’re trying to act sober.

“I mean...that’s a pretty lively looking corpse there, counselor,” You smirked.

“...What?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Weren’t you the one who said you’d never be caught dead in Jersey?” You smirked harder. Damn, even when you were on the verge of dying you were smooth.

“Let me in,” Rafael said flatly.

“Uh, no,” You said mockingly.

“Let me in,” He repeated more sternly.

“Do you have a warrant?” You asked with an amused smile.

“Dammit Y/N don’t make me shove this door open,”

“Oh okay so now you’re threatening to break into my apartment? Why don’t you yell that a little louder, maybe my neighbor will call the cops,” You yelled at him while gesturing down the hall.

“...Please let me in?” His voice lowered, his eyes softened. You were a sucker for those eyes, no matter how mad or worried about appearances you were.

“...Fine,” You sighed and released your hold on the door and walked away quickly to sit on the couch. You didn’t want him to realize you couldn’t stand without holding onto something.

“Fuck, I knew it…” He muttered as he glanced around your apartment, then focused on you.

“Knew what?” You crossed your arms, playing it cool.

“You’re drunk right now, aren’t you?” He looked at you pitifully, not livid like he was a minute ago.

“What?” You kept your composure. “Uh, I’m sorry Rafael, do you see any empty bottles here? Any FULL bottles for that matter?” You gestured around your apartment while acting offended he would even think that.

“My dad was an alcoholic, Y/N,” He said softly which made you angrier, why was he doing this?

“Um okay, so that has to do with me why--?”

“Tell me right now if I smelled your breath that it wouldn’t be overwhelmingly ‘clean’,” He talked over you.

“....What?” You blinked, trying desperately to act oblivious.

Fuck, why did he know that was a thing? Well, obviously he just said it. If you weren’t so angry or out of your mind right now, you’d feel absolutely terrible for being like this around him now that you knew he’d been through this before.

“So it’s a crime to have dental hygiene now?” You smarmed.

“Dammit Y/N I know what you’re doing!” Now he was getting angry again, he couldn’t stand that you weren’t taking this seriously. He couldn’t stand watching another person he cared about completely shit faced in front of him, acting as if he was the one in the wrong.

“And what am I doing, Rafael?”

“Sonny might be naïve, but I know what it looks like when an alcoholic is hiding their drinking!” He accused you.

“God dammit…” you muttered.

So many things were buzzing in your head at that moment. One you now felt ashamed that he was seeing you like this, two you were upset that he knew all your tricks, and finally you were somewhat happy and hopeful that he cared enough to come for you.

“Did you have an actual reason for coming over here, or did Sonny just send you to lecture me because he’s tired of doing it?”

“...Can you drink some coffee or something?”

“What?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Why?”

“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this,”

“What? Oh suddenly I must be out of my mind trashed because I’m mad at you? Guess what Barba, this is 100% snarky sober me,” You lied.

“Mad at me?” He laughed. “Why in God’s name are you mad at me?!”

“After the way you treated me--”

“The way I treated you?!” He cut you off angrily. “I treated you with nothing but caring and respect, Y/N. Even after you sat there in my apartment throwing a temper tantrum like a petulant drunken toddler!”

“You--” You were livid at him calling you a toddler.

“Just because Sonny told you what I usually act like towards-- lovers, doesn’t make it true with you. Did I ever, ever act like you were some ‘conquest’?” He asked you.

“...No,” You bit your lip nervously.

“Did I ever make you feel cheap, or unwanted?”

“No…” You looked at the floor.

“Didn’t I tell you that you were different, that you meant something to me?” He gave you a sad look, as if he was crushed that you didn't believe in him.

“But how do I know that wasn’t just a line?!” You protested.

“Because I’m here!” He gestured around your apartment.

“And why are you here?” You pressed him.

“I don’t know!” He put his hands over his head.

“...That’s not an answer,” You crossed your arms.

“It’s the only answer I can give you, Y/N,” He finally sat down next to you on the couch.

You curled up your knees to your chest instinctively, still trying to hide your inebriation and the smell of your breath; even though you knew it was futile at this point.

“So, you come all the way here to bang on my door and yell at me, but you have no idea why?” You continued to be defensive, trying to keep him off your scent.

“What do you want me to say, Y/N? Huh?” He threw up his hands.

“Do you want me to say it’s because I’m in love with you? Because for the first time in my life I found someone that I want to be with all the time, because you make me the happiest I’ve been in a long time, maybe ever?”

“Uh no,” You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t ask you to lie,”

“...I’m not lying,” He looked at you very seriously, trying to take your hand.

“Yes, you are,” You shook your head and pulled away from him. “In fact I know exactly why you’re here,”

“....What is happening right now?” Rafael asked himself softly. He had just sat there and poured out his heart to you, and you were dismissing him completely. This is exactly why he should have just let you be.

“What’s happening, is that you-- you feel bad that you couldn’t... I don’t know, ‘deal’ with your Daddy issues," You air quoted Daddy, making him shift uncomfortably.

"That is so--" He tried denying it.

"True?" You gave him a look. "Let me guess, you couldn't 'save' him as a kid, right?"

"...That wasn't on me," He muttered, looking at the floor.

"You don't believe that," you scoffed. "I know you don't."

"And how do you know that?" He looked at you skeptically.

"Because I feel like I failed my parents, and they were the shittiest people on earth!" You exclaimed.

"How did you fail them? You weren't even--"

"By being born, Raff," You clarified.

"Carino, don't--"

"Look, my point is you've got this 'white knight syndrome', but you know what I learned? You can't save everyone, so you shouldn't even try,"

"That's a great philosophy," he scoffed. "So you don't even try?'

"Oh fuck off," You rolled your eyes. "I can't even save myself, let alone anyone else,"

"That's not true," he protested. "You saved me,"

"Oh my god," you made a fake gagging noise. "You're just saying that so it'll appease some kind of guilt,"

"I have zero to feel guilty about," he shook his head. For some reason that made you even angrier.

"Alright well good! So you can leave," You pointed towards the door.

"No I'm not leaving, not until you acknowledge what I said," He crossed his arms.

"What? About you being in love with me?" You scoffed. "I told you that's a load of shit."

"And why do you say that?" He asked.

"For one, because you don't fall in love with someone just because they're good in bed," you gave him a look.

"That's not why--"

"And for two, nobody can be in love with a monster," You finished over him.

"You're not a monster--" he tried pulling you towards him but you stood up.

"Yes I am!" You screamed.

Well that was a bad idea. All of a sudden it was as if the chemicals from the mouthwash were sizzling around your insides. You doubled over in pain, the room was going dark.

"Y/N? Oh my god, baby hold on--" he grabbed you and pulled you into his lap while he dialed 911.

"It's okay, you're okay...just...just hold on, please…" he pleaded with you while stoking your hair and kissing the top of your head, gripping you as if you were going to disappear if he let up.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #weird secret friends

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sugarydolli · 3 years

Text

Orange Juice | [REPOST]

Title ~ Orange Juice

Word Count ~ 2k

Pairings ~ Leon x Chubby!reader

Warnings ~ Body shaming, Bullying

Okay but do y'all see my new icon like 🥰

Repost from my wattpad storie lulz lemme send link 🖇️ https://my.w.tt/KjSStSQYkbb

"Come on Y/N," junko smirked "hes never gonna like you if your fat, keep throwing it up." You pushed slightly on your stomach to trigger more vomit.

With Junko standing behind you, taunting you as your breakfast pushed passed your lips.

You could see Mukuro start gather tissue for you to wipe your mouth off with.

You sat in class one day as the teacher rambled about nothing you cared about. The sun ran over the curve of your cheeks and lit up your (E/C) eyes as you were deep in thought.

"What if I was smaller"

"Would I be prettier?"

"Would he notice me?"

Not even noticing that class was over until two particular known sisters made their way over to you.

Junko slapped her hand down on your desk taking you out of your thoughts. Her sinister smile was a clear warning of her intentions which were obvious to you.

You expected nothing but harsh words, more things to make you regret your weight. But she unexpectedly had other plans.

Junko came to you as if she wanted to help you. She said she could make you look pretty. In your desperate state of mind you accepted.

Ever since then her way of making "pretty" was meeting her outside of the bathroom every 2-3 hours, practically shoving you face into a toilet and forcing you to gag your meals.

"Hey Junko.." you said weakly, your stomach aching being the 5th week you skipped lunch. "Did you ever find out what type of girls Leon is into?"

She thought about it while she chewed her food. "Why of course I did, and you know what he told me?"

You were practically leaning over the table, dying to know what the baseball player told her. "He said and I quote, "tight waisted bimbos with huge tits" end quote."

It felt like a spear ran threw your heart as you sunk into deep thought. "I'm sure he'll like you for who you are rather than what your physical appearance is Y/N."

"You filthy liar! I told her exactly what he told me."

"But Junko I was right ther-"

"Shut up!"

The thoughts in your head shut you out from the twins bickering. Your mind festering on the idea of fitting into Leon's type.

The sadness you felt turned into determination. Thinking about how you can cut out a few more meals, and exercise even more times a day. Wearing extremely heavy hoodies in raging hot weather to shed.

You were determined by the end of this month you'd fit his standards.

"Junko,"

Standing up, you caught her attention before she shot another insult to Mukuro. "I think I'm ready now."

A large malicious smirk panned across her face, rising up from her seat. "Let's go."

You shoved two fingers down your throat, nearly missing your uvula. Not much at first shot out but as you progressed more and more came out as your throat burned.

Beginning to feel dizzy, you leaned against the bathroom stall. Not having the energy to continue the assault on your throat. Once you gained your composure you restarted, plunging fingering back into your throat. Murkuro held your hair back away from your face as Junko unbeknownst to you recorded your gagging.

You finished up rather quickly, wiping spit from the corner of your mouth. You rummaged through your backpack looking for your tooth brush.

You walked over to the sink ignoring a few girls who just walked in stares of confusion. The first thing you noticed was your cheeks, usually a soft looking round was now turning hallow.

Your body over all seemed to be getting slimmer over the past few weeks. So much so you'd start to get compliments and praised.

For once you've felt good about yourself, Confident.

...

Until, from an anonymous account you were exposed. Several videos of you forcing yourself to barf was posted on this account.

"This you?"

Mukuro texted you while you got dressed in your uniform. Sending the account.

As if the multiple videos weren't enough, pictures of your dazed expression began circulating. Tears threatened your eyes, you reported each video and picture one by one.

-/-

You went into school, head hung low as whispers and giggles could be heard around you.

You would look up to see several faces looking at you with disgust, some occasionally with pity.

Ultimately, you decided that you weren't gonna let this stop you from reaching your goal. Even if it was draining you.

Today being mile day in PE made you teensy bit woozy, but still you convinced yourself of the "benefits"

The long track taunted you, seeming like it stretched for miles. "You've never seen any interest in mile before, Y/N..are you sure." Your PE teacher placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a understanding look.

You nodded gulping slowly before starting to sprint. At first it wasn't as bad (you told yourself) as you got about half way down the long course.

Your eyes were starting to get a bit heavy as you tried regulating your breath. The temperature only seemed to get hotter as you tried to block out the feelings.

"Was this a heat wave?" You asked your as you tried to push through. Darkness seemed to be clouding over your vision rather quickly.

And surely you passed out.

Condensation slid down your face making you wince. You blinked a few times before taking in the bright light on the ceiling.

You rose up quickly only to be pushed right back down. The school nurse, Mikan, giving a frighten shriek from your sudden movement.

"Please let me help you get up." Her worried tone, placing a hand on your back while you rose. "You passed out on the field." A quiver still in her voice.

Panic started to rise in your gut. "I..I did?" You didn't want to believe her words, seeing it more as an embarrassment than an health concern.

"A teacher carried you here with the help of a student." Mikan tried calming you down to prevent any other health problems.

Sadly her efforts wasted as you began to worry yourself on who the student was. Your nightmares only coming true when Leon suddenly walked through the door.

"Mikan is she alright? I heard talkin' and" Your eyes met sending a rush of pink to your cheeks. His pale blue orbs gazed into your F/C ones.

"Are you... alright?" Leon's gaze never leaving your eyes. Lips quivering to much for a verbal answer, you nodded.

Tears brimmed your eye line, you didn't want to met like this. This wasn't supposed to be this way. But his next words caught you off guard.

"Good. hate to see a pretty girl like yourself hurt." He followed up with a wink before sliding out of the office.

Awe casted on your face causing you jaw to open slightly. You were in shock, not even hearing Mikan rambling.

Once you were released from Mikan's office you headed to your locker. You managed to pick your jaw up off the floor but shock and awe still lingered.

You opened your locker open-mindedly. A small blush colored envelope fell out, you practically tore it open to see in somewhat messy handwriting:

A actual compliment..did I hit my head that hard? Am I in a coma?

Hey cutie ;), I'd call myself a hero for saving you today. How about you reward me with a little date later today?

- Leon

A squeal errupted from your mouth causing whoever around you a confused look. You were to caught up in your joy to even realize Junko and Mukuro making their way over.

A hand placed firmly onto your shoulder, turning you around to face them forcefully.

"Whaddya got there Y/N?"

Junko's tone too sweet for her own good, you held the letter up slowly in which she snatched it. "This has to be a fake." She said without looking.

Eyes widening, you look the letter back reading it over for any indications. The thought of this being some prank didn't even register to you.

"Well if you are going you know what you have to do" Her tone lowering to something darker. You have her a nod before once again walking to the dreadful bathroom.

You've grown tired of these plain walls as you stick a few fingers once again down your throat. Your senses activated causing you to hurl.

Junko chuckled, getting a sick sort of kick out your suffering. Mukuro narrowing her eyes at her sister, quickly sending a text to someone.

About five minutes later the sound of the bathroom door being slammed open caused you to rip your fingers out of your mouth.

Various shouts coming from behind the stall door as it was suddenly swung open. Leon stood in the frame with ishimaru not far behind.

The sudden appearance caught Junko off guard, almost dropping her phone. "Leon you can't just-" The short haired male turned his attention to the scene.

"Y/N...what are you doing?" Leon's face in confusion, you quickly wiped any remaining spittle off your chin before turning around completely.

Leon bent down, wiping your cheeks with his thumb. "I don't give a shit about your body, I like you just the way you are." He lifts you up, giving you a hug.

"Nothing, just a-" Junko was quick to cut you off. "A hard case of bulimia." Your hair fell down into your face, Junko continued to laugh.

She spoke in a bragging fashion as she told the two men of your dirty secret. Tears brimmed your lash line seeing Leon's eyebrows furrowed in disgust.

"And the funny part about it is...she it did all for you!" Leon's eyes widened, his mouth almost fell open as he quietly repeated her last few words.

"You told me that he likes small waisted girls and I-" a sob breaking your sentence, you fell down onto the bathroom floor sobbing uncontrollably. You felt hands gently pry your hands off your face.

Your usual small pink envelope fell right into your hands, causing a smile to stretch across your face.

You snuggle into his neck, now happy tears rolling down your cheeks.

- timeskip brought to you by the iconic cheez duo -

- about a month later

"You know, Princesses are usually found in castles. How'd I meet you here?"

Cheesy. You smirk to yourself before feeling large arms wrapped around you. Leon placed a kiss to your temple, filling spinning you around for a kiss to the lips.

"I guess the answer to your question would be, sometimes princesses get bored for waiting on their prince." Leon chuckled, sneaking in another kiss. "Well, it's not easy finding the right princess."

His hand instinctively latched onto your as you two walked down the hall to your first period.

Leon doesn't like you cause of your skin, your weight, or your face. He likes you because of you.

Uhh I know the themes in this got like really fucking dark and usually I don't like to to talk about these topics cause all around this is supposed to be a happier book and shit like that but it was actually requested of me once before.

I thought it was time to get out of my comfort zone and address this. You all are beautiful no matter what you look like, your body doesn't define you!! Your beauty inside and out. And if anyone tells you otherwise me and cheez will beat the- I mean kindly slap them around with kindness.

Anyways I love you all and everyone around you should to! You don't have to fit into what someone wants you to for them to love you. If they really love you, they'd love you for you! Appearance doesn't matter in love!! ((Praying I'm saying the right things))

And it is okay if you do wanna change how look. Just use the reader as an example not to do, please don't hurt yourself or take the easy route. Please choose healthy and non harmful ways to improve on your already beautiful self.

I'm really not good at this so I hope this little message didn't offend, comfort is nawt my strong suit BUT I love you all tremendously and I'll always be here no matter what.

- Cheez it chan & Cheez <3

#leon kuwata x reader #danganronpa leon kuwata #dr1 #leon kuwata #leon #danganronpa kuwata #kuwata #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa 1 #danganronpa #tw ed mention #tw ed content #tw bulemia #tw eating disorder #tw bullying #tw vomit

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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years

Text

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the S E C O N D HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start r u n n i n g a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

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