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perendia · 5 months

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what it feels like reading „a little life“.

#a little life #jude st francis #x=x

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deer333teeth · 2 months

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He asks me what love is.

I tell him it is something soft, and warm, and bright. I think of the stars that burst behind my eyelids when I take a hit, or drag a blade between gnarled skin, or when he runs his fingertips across my back.

I ask him what love is.

He says he doesn’t know.

I wonder how it can be that he is the one with no answer, yet he is the only one who says it.

I ask him if it’s sex.

He says no. Far from it.

I agree.

He says sex is…just a way to be close to someone. To touch them.

I stay silent.

He does not ask me what sex is.

I think, sex is just power. It is anger. It is a tool to beat those things into someone. Into me. It is a reliving of the same death again and again and again. To me sex has never been anything but a reminder. A reminder of what I’ve always been and always will be. It doesn’t feel good. It shoves me backwards into muffled memories and open wounds. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel fair. But it does feel right. It feels like I am doing what I’m supposed to do. Sex returns me to the truth. I deceive everyone around me. I have built a person around this thing. I have hidden this reproachful creature and lied to bury it. Sex unearths it. It forces me to be seen as I am. It reminds me how to turn off. How to float away. How to go limp and how to cede. How to die.

I think he knows.

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blueandgreysoul · 22 days

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This is one of those nights when all I can think about is how Jude felt unlovable, broken, hideous, unworthy, optimistic yet hopeless ‐ maybe because he tended to fool himself ‐ and how he was so sure to deserve every horrible thing that happened to him, ending up surprised when things were going well. A pure soul folded by an atrocious world, by cruel, wicked people. His astonishment for Willem's confession is something bittersweet, yet heartbreaking. People deserve love, everyone does; why Jude wasn't deserving of love, why I feel the same way? We aren't less than other people, are we?

I talk about this book too much, I know, but I've never felt so understood before: it exposed the things I had carefully buried, the worst ones, in a way that made me feel relieved, 'cause a character spoke for me when I wasn't able to. And it breaks me to see so much of myself in Jude, to see from the outside how sad it is for someone to despise themselves so eagerly. I am Jude, and that is what hurts me the most. I want to hug him so tight and apologise to him for everything; but maybe I just want to do that to myself, even though I don't feel deserving of it. Will I ever find some proof that will solve my riddle differently?

#a little life #jude st francis #hanya yanagihara #a little life play #x=x

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house1nnebraska · 7 months

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"He knows that x will always equal x."

Hanya Yanagihara, A little life (2015)

#x=x #a little life #literature #books and reading #jude st francis #hanya yanagihara #bookworm #read in 2023 #contemporary classical #classic lit quotes #trauma

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satosugarr · 2 years

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The Quote That Changed My Life

“He knows that x will always equal x”

x=x is also known as the axiom of equality, an axiom that states that if you have a conceptual thing named x, that it must always be equivalent to itself, but this axiom is impossible to prove.

Why this quote you may ask? Well for that you’d have to understand the context of it. This quote is from the book “A Little Life.” The axiom is thought about by one of the main characters, Jude, who is stuck in an abusive relationship part of an endless trauma filled cycle of a life. When Jude is thinking about it, he says that he himself has proved this axiom, that his very life is proof of it. He believes that he is fundamentally the same person, that his trauma and past remain with him and the person he is, is always the person he will be.

I don’t completely agree with this but i do to an extent. A person, their body and soul, will always be the same. However, their mindset, personality and thought process may fluctuate and change. Still, their emotional and physical scars will continue to exist. Their trauma and past will linger. Things like this are impossible to erase from yourself, you may be able to heal from them but you will never fully be rid of them.

Back to Jude, he does say that although he may have a job he loves, friends, family and money, he is still essentially the same person as before. Something i also think contributes to this is the fact that Jude thinks very little of himself, the following quote shows the way he thinks of himself: “a person who inspires disgust, a person meant to be hated.” Jude thinks he deserves to be hated, he also thinks it’s impossible for himself to change as a person; so he thinks x=x when thinking of himself.

Then with the same logic, is everyone a terrible person ? Everyone has done bad things, out of their own will or not. Not every bad thing Jude has done was out of his own will, in fact a majority of it was not, yet he still blames himself for all of it. Even in an abusive relationship, he says that he deserves it, rather than blaming his abuser.

The reason it changed my life is because it changed my perspective on people, but more specifically, on myself. The book as a whole did but I’ve thought about this quote every day since reading it. x=x. In my opinion, in terms of people at least, x can equal x, but not always. It changed me because it made me realise just how much i identify with Jude. I too think i am deserving of bad things that happen to me, that the bad things are in fact my fault and that i am the same person that i was when i was younger, but this simply isn’t true. Growth is important; we’re all constantly growing and changing. We gain new knowledge that changes us on the daily, we’re not even the same person as we were an hour ago.

“x=x, he thinks. x=x. x=x.”

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legendarycollectiveflower · 2 years

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The axiom of equality: x = x

That is true, but x is the independent variable, you choose its value.

#axiom of equality #a little life #hanya yanagihara #jude st francis #x=x

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mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware · 9 months

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im feeling masochistic time to read a little life again

#a little life #hanya yanagihara #jude st francis #the axiom of inequality #x=x #book community #book quotes #book lover #currently reading #bookaddict

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pocorin · 1 year

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a concept:

I get top surgery and tattoo "x=x" right below the scar ..

#axiom of equality #a little life #jude st francis #x=x #trans #top surgery

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soracities · 2 months

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"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

#q #lit #quotes #typography #essays and articles #id included #ismatu gwendolyn #youve been traumatized into hating reading and it makes you easier to oppress #threadings #m #x

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trashy-greyjoy · 3 months

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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

#who cares if its platonic love who fucking CARES if its because they wanna kiss like the devotion and the tenderness is there no matter what #mainly brought to you by: jack and anne from black sails but also probably sydcarmy and msr #sydcarmy #msr #rackhanne #the bear #black sails #txf #the x files #mulder x scully #sydney x carmy #jack rackham x anne bonny #oh wait perhaps also theonsa if you squint #maybe not

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bumblebeebats · 4 months

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OP turned off reblogs so this is my post now. Behold, the "Objective quality vs. degree of ferality" scale

Here are a few of my own personal datapoints:

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punk-dad-sharkz · 4 months

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guy who says "FUCK!" to every minor inconvenience x guy who says "oopsie daisies" to earth shattering catastrophes

#yes this is ouizzy #but tag your favourite guys #ouizzy #ship dynamic #character dynamics #i think im funny #izzy x frenchie

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o-kurwa · 2 months

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#crypto bro #community notes #fact check #twitter #x

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lilithism1848 · 5 months

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#leftism #anti capitalism #socialism #communism #anarchy #capitalism #eat the rich #twitter x #late stage capitalism #leftist #anarchism

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raskolnikovslawyer · 6 months

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coffee shop by my house hired a new barista who is extraordinarily hot and flirts with me incessantly but she also makes the worst - and i truly mean the worst - coffee i’ve ever paid for. atrociously bad. just another of god’s little jokes

#she has to make a drinkable concoction one of these days right?#like. statistically #x

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nousanti · 2 months

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The Will of This Heart 🖤

#farcille #dungeon meshi #falin touden #marcille donato #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi fanart #delicious in dungeon #marcille dungeon meshi #falin dungeon meshi #falin thorden #falin x marcille #dunmeshi #dunmesh spoilers

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