legendarycollectiveflower
Untalented Overachiever
xx || infp || Italy ||
maladaptive daydreaming
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Sylvia Plath's fig tree metaphor is like when you have a pretty notebook but you don't write anything in it because you can't decide what to use it for.
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I don't actually work better under pressure.
I lied.
It's just that I only work if there's pressure.
#sorry#work under pressure#chaotic academia#study#deadlines#university#i work better under pressure#academic weapon#academia#academic validation#university student
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Every morning on my way to my biochemistry lecture (bane of my existence), I have to pass in front of the literature faculty, and I see the students dressed like they came from another century, discussing the last author they studied. And I see what I could have been.
I'm about to pull a Richard Papen and go befriend them pretending to be one of them.
#richard papen i get you now#you're me and I'm you#depressed med student rethinking life choices#chaotic academia#dark academia#the secret history#academic validation#college#donna tartt#the secret history memes#tsh#richard papen
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My biggest fear is that I'm going to make it.
I'll make it and I will be good. But that's where it ends, I'll be stuck doing that. No more uncertain hopes, no risky aspirations, no brave dreams.
Just me and my career. The punishment for my lack of courage, for my inability to dream further.
#oscar wilde said that if you know what you want to become you will become that and that is your punishment#my punishment for not dreaming further#chaotic academia#dark academia#academic validation#college#oscar wilde#broken dreams#medical career#the angst the pride and ambition
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I'm so mad I can't be mad at her
#my bestie pissed me off today#i hate her (i don't)#literally how dare she#best friend#chaotic academia#college#bestie#friend problems
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I'm haunted by the ghost of a person who's still alive.
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Opening Queering the map is really a journey because one moment you're crying to the most heart-wrenching confessions and then you accidentally click on the ocean:
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Two types of people on Queering the map:
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Bunny: *in commons having a grilled cheese sandwich and a milkshake*
Henry:
#“that did it”#we love a patient king#chaotic academia#dark academia#the secret history#books#donna tartt#college#tsh#tsh memes#the secret history memes
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All the books I read, all the movies I watch, all the stories I make up and the way I try to romanticize reality are just desperate attempts to escape it.
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Who was the real me, then? It was an abstraction that hadn’t yet taken shape in my lifetime.
-Qiu Miaojin, Notes of a Crocodile
#chaotic academia#qiu miaojin quotes#qiu miaojin#notes of a crocodile#taiwanese literature#cult classic
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And really, what difference did the world make to me, anyway? With that question, something stirred deep inside me, making my body tremble. It did make a difference. I had needs like anyone else, and sure, one of those needs was a little acknowledgment.
-Qiu Miaojin, Notes of a Crocodile
#qiu miaojin quotes#chaotic academia#dark academia#qiu miaojin#notes of a crocodile#taiwanese literature
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Are you really reading the right books if you don't sound like a madman when you're trying to explain them to someone?
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Have you perhaps read Lord of the Flies and wondered if it would have gone differently were the characters females?
Well I have, and I think I found the answer reading I Who Have Never Known Men byJacqueline Harpman.
#they're two different books trying to do completely different things but the parallel was there#so intriguing#lord of the flies#i who have never known men#dystopian novel#Jacqueline harpman#dark academia#book review
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I need a Dionysus in my life
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Donna Tartt, Bret easton Ellis and Jonathan Lethem attending Bennington together and being called the "Literary Brat Pack" is so iconic
#donna tartt#bret easton ellis#Jonathan lethem#chaotic academia#dark academia#the secret history#american psycho#bennington college#donna tartt life#college#vermont
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It's always about long distance relationship, but what about long distance best friends? That's another type of pain
#best friend#long distance relationship#long distance best friend#chaotic academia#friends#University#college#long distance
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