My favorite mermaid art is the one of a family photo with a mermaid mother and old sailor father and their sons are both reverse merfolk (human legs with fish heads).

Alright we’ve all seen and been unsettled by fin whales breaching and minke whales breaching. Now may I present: Bryde’s Whale

"The Stoppables"

Glad to see this is a somewhat universal experience

Okay, I completely understand that getting time off work can be a Sisyphean ordeal these days, but every time I run into the whole "only rich people go on vacation" discourse I'm thinking surely I'm not the only one whose childhood experience of "going on vacation" was piling everybody into the car and driving for six hours to pay twenty dollars a day for the privilege of setting up some leaky tents on a fifty-foot-by-fifty-foot patch of dirt next to a mosquito-infested pond in a "private campground" whose only standout features were a. an outdoor miniature golf course that hadn't been maintained in twenty years, and b. a truly breathtaking fire ant population.

just asked my professor if he wants to feature on a song LMFAO

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

fun fact! yeah he do!

you dont need to smell the camera

haha wouldnt it be funny if I were watching a couple of guinea pigs that whistle when they think I can’t see them and then hear squeaking in my backpack and one of them popped out haha and then when I got home and look into my backpack haha there was a bunch of guinea pig poop in there haha

Jesus Christ the ocean hamburger WOULD NOT STOP

coming for you

Source smoothdunk on twitter

Felt yall would appreciate my local universities bug club poster