#wow i actually got that done before the next episode.
Text
Head Filled With Demons (Steddie X You)
A/N: Ok, a few things here. First I played fast and loose with demon mythology as well as a lot of the themes from the episode of Black Mirror this is based on. There are no spoilers for that episode so don't worry. I guess you could say this is an AU Steddie as in this world they are relatively well known demons in their mythology. I pulled some stuff from the show but...you'll see. No spoilers for either show here lol
I hope this is coherent and makes sense lol I had fun with it and I still have more chapters to go :) .
Warnings: Demon Steddie X Human fem reader; SMUT and ANGST with a dash of fluff. The smut has sprinkles of Dom Steddie (spanking, scolding, dirty talk), Mentions of a sick parent and death of another parent, small scene detailing domestic abuse (may be triggering), Steddie gives the reader visions so she sees bad things people in Hawkins do including the end of the world, there is a murder (very brief; blood is mentioned), y/n and Steddie mention a lot of themes regarding feeling stuck and unhappy.
Word Count: 6842
“HELLO!?”
You jump as the customer in front of you slams her items on the counter.
“I’ve been waiting here for five minutes for service! Are you going to ring me up or not?!”
“Yes, ma’am. I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize. Just do your fucking job.”, she grumbles as you begin scanning the things in front of you.
This will be the thousandth time TODAY you got caught daydreaming about being anywhere else but this stupid department store in the Hawkins mall. After graduating high school, you thought your options would be endless but once your father got sick, you knew you had to stay home to take care of him. You thought about applying to colleges nearby but everything was too expensive especially with the added medical and regular bills around the house, you needed to find employment fast.
After the mall was built, you knew there would be a plethora of available positions and found one with a good hourly wage. The problem was it was incredibly boring. Some days you felt like running out of the store and just flipping over the railing to the second floor. At least you might finally feel something. Add in customers like this one and it was a good mix of pain and annoyance to drive you through to the end of your shift.
“Are you done or what?!”
“Yes ma’am. Here’s your receipt and, please, have a great rest of your day.”, you say with the biggest fake smile you can muster.
“You need an attitude check, missy.” She spat before turning and walking out the store.
“Wow, you sure leave an impression.” Carol comes up behind you and leans against the counter, popping her gum obnoxiously. “Mr. Cline wants you to take those boxes to the basement.”
You glance where she’s pointing at the three boxes stalked against the wall that are taller than you both.
“My last break is coming up. Why can’t you do it?”
“Because he didn’t ask me to. He asked for you.”, she sneered. “Is there a problem?”
“No,”, you grinned in a thin line. “No problem.”
***
You huffed as you threw the boxes on to the ground, not even pretending to care if there was anything delicate within them. Leaning against the wall to catch your breath, you look around the illuminated but still extremely creepy basement.
Most of the stores in the mall kept a lot of their miscellaneous stock down here, segregated to different areas. Your department store usually kept overstocked clothing items like shoes and jackets until the ones upstairs were sold out or someone asked for something specific that was no longer kept on the shelf. The area was right next to the security guard’s desk but today he didn’t seem to be there.
You walked over to it, glancing at the papers strewn all over the place.
“Boo!”
“Jesus Christ, Paul!”, you exhale as you grip your chest. “Scared the crap out of me.”
“Good.”, he chuckles. “See anything interesting?” He laughs harder when you shake your head. “I’m actually glad I saw you. I found something on the floor here the other day I thought you’d think was cool.”
Paul digs into his desk drawer and produces a necklace with a gem tied to the end.
“Beautiful, huh? The stone looks kind of like a guitar pick, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it does. Where did you find it?”
“Like I said, it was on the floor kind of near your stores cage. I’ve never seen you guys sell anything like that and I know you’re into that gems/crystal mumbo jumbo so… I thought I’d give it to you to take a look. At most, maybe, you could ask Richard if they got some new things in.”
“Uh, yeah, ok. Thank you, Paul. I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Of course, hon. Tell your dad I said hello!”
You couldn’t stop staring at the little stone connected to the chain as you rode the elevator back up to the main part of the mall. It did look like a guitar pick which wasn’t an abnormal design in the 80s since almost every single metalhead you passed had something like it but this one was different. Usually those necklaces were cheap, the stone on this looked expensive and old. The gorgeous red color shimmered against the light and pierced your eyes in a way that had a small moan leave your lips at its beauty. There were symbols on either side you couldn’t quiet make out.
It was so odd. As your fingers ran over the material, you got this feeling in your chest, like this thing in your hands was meant for you…
The elevator dinged, startling you back into reality as you quickly hid the item in your pocket and headed back to the store to finish your shift.
##############
“Hey, Y/N.”
“Hey, dad. What are you doing moving around? You should be in bed.”
You father walked over to give you a hug as you greeted him in the kitchen.
“I know but I just wanted to wait for you. See how your day was.”
Sighing, you reach into the fridge to grab a snack before turning towards him so he could see your playful frustrated face. “Oh, you know. The regular; angry housewives and bitchy coworkers.”
He chuckles as he takes a seat at the dining table.
“Y/N, you know you don’t have to work so hard, right?”
“I know, dad. I just want to make sure you’re taken care of.”
“Sweetheart, I’m fine. I can handle…” His cough cuts him off and you quickly run to the cabinet to hand him his medicine. “Thank you.”
“No problem.”, you smile as you lean over to hug him again. “I’m fine. Trust me. I’m going to go munch on this junk and then crash.”
As you head towards your room, you hear his shaky exhale before taking another puff of his inhaler.
***
Sitting at your desk, you examine the necklace Paul gave you further and make notes on what you see. Tomorrow, you had the day off so when you went to the library you wanted to be able to have all the information you could.
-silver chain
-Red Jasper stone
-support for stress
-brings tranquility and wholeness (balance)
One side has a baseball style bat with thorns… Nails?
-Maybe meant for protection
Other side is a guitar from a long time ago.
This is definitely beautiful. I wonder where it came fr—
“Ow! Shit.”, you wince as you place your thumb in your mouth. While looking at the gem, the bottom sliced through your skin causing you to bleed on your notes and the stone. “Shit, shit, shit.”
You run to the bathroom to grab a tissue, wrapping it around your finger before wiping it along the piece of jewelry. The feeling of wind on your back caused you to hastily turn around. It felt like someone had tried to touch your hair making a shiver run down your spine.
Shaking away the jitters, you turned around, prepared to clean the blood off the paper when you noticed it was already gone and replaced with red, inked words.
“I could have sworn…”
“Hello, sweetheart.”
“Did I write that? I don’t think—” You’re not sure what made you do it. Maybe it’s because you were so exhausted or just seeing the word sweetheart triggered a warm, safe feeling in your belly. You scooted your pen below the sentence and responded with a nice, little…
“Hi.”
“How are you tonight, pretty girl?”
“Jesus Christ!” Your chair falls to the floor as you stand and back up towards your bed. Your hand covers your mouth as you watch more words appear on the paper.
“Y/N!? Are you ok?!”
“Um…yeah! Yeah, dad, I’m fine. Just… tripped.”
Slowing inching your way forward, you read the notes in front of you.
“Nice going, Ed.”
“Shit. It’s not my fault! I would be scared to if words magically appeared in front of me.”
“Oh my god. It’s finally happened. I’ve lost my mind. I’m going crazy.”
“You are NOT going crazy. I promise you, babe. What’s your name?”
“A sentient paper is asking me my name. Uh okay… I’m Y/N.”
“Aw, I like that. It’s pretty like you.”
“Y-y-you can see me? Right now?”
“Yes.”
You yelped when you felt a breeze again move past your arms.
“Wh-what’s your name?”
“Make you a deal. You give us permission to enter your realm and we’ll tell you our names.”
“Us?”
“Two sides, honey. Two sets of markings on the stone. Two…people.”
You could swear you hear chuckling in the air.
“Don’t mean to rush you, princess, but we kind of need you to make a choice. Yes or no?”
“I, uh, I don’t—”
“Come on, Y/N. Just say yes. It’s fine. Yes, yes, yes…”
Suddenly, the word “yes” begins to crowd the page repeatedly until it spills over on to your desk. Your breathing picks up as your heartrate increases. Is this really happening? Is this in my head? What’s the downside to this?
“YES!”
Everything in the room stills as the words in front of you disappear. Two words begin to slide across the paper as you lean forward to read them.
“Good girl.”
The light above you snaps off and you hear the sound of heavy breathing coming from your bed. Your eyes widen as you fall to the floor at the sight of two horned, demon looking figures sitting on your mattress. You cower in the corner covering your eyes as you begin muttering to yourself.
“This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t—”
“Oh, uh, I forgot humans don’t have people like us running around. Um, sweetheart, what form would make you more comfortable?”
When you don’t answer, they sigh as the bed squeaks when they stand. One creature shuffles beside you towards your door where your poster of Tom Cruise in Risky Business hangs. The other moves towards your picture frame on your dresser of you during your meet and greet with Motley Crue.
The sound of two sets of snapped fingers fill the room with a glowing red light and when you dare to sneak a peek from under your arm, you no longer see monster legs but a set of sneakers. A strong but soft hand touches your skin and your head shoots up as you push yourself as far back as you can.
“How’s this? Better?”
The demon in front of you had formed into an everyday man you may see come into your store every now and then. His brown hair fluffed up perfectly and you pushed down the notion to run your fingers through it. Instead of his original rough looking skin, he now donned a soft but muscular form hidden under your typical style polo and jeans. His beautiful brown eyes scanned you over with concern as he kneeled in front of you.
Your eyes flicked to the other one across the room who was now checking himself out in your full-length mirror. His attire was much more torn and rattier than the other ones. His jeans had holes in many different places and the Dio vest was fringing near the bottom. The leather jacket and boots made your tummy flutter. He looked like the kind of man you would have dated back in high school. His long, wavy hair moved quickly as he turned around to face you both, digging into his jacket pocket and producing a cigarette.
“Um, please don’t…my dad…”
He pauses as both boys exchange a look.
“Don’t worry. He can’t see me or inhale anything I smoke.” They watch as you slowly rise to your feet. “Oh shit. Manners. We made you deal. I’m Eddie. This is Steve.” He wiggles his fingers in a waving motion.
“Why is this happening now? Please. I can’t go crazy yet. My dad still needs me. I—”
“Again, not going crazy. See, you found our thing here.”, Steve gestures towards the necklace. “You called for us so here we are.”
“No, no, no. I accidently…I didn’t mean…I…”
“Look, we don’t make the rules. We just follow them. Blood. Stone. Permission. Demons. It’s not that complicated.”
Steve rolls his eyes at his friend’s crassness.
“D-D-Demons?”
“Yeah. It’s not that big a deal really.” Eddie draws a sharp intake of breath he turns towards to you. “I mean not entirely a big deal. Um, you just have to kill a few people or else the world will end but hey! Demons.”
Your eyes turn into saucers as you stumble to the bed. “I-I-I what now?”
“Three people to be exact.”
“Eddie, stop it. You’re scaring her. Y/N, honey…”, Steve kneels in front of you and places his hands on your thighs. Jesus, his palms are huge. “You do have to kill some people I’m afraid but you will be saving so many lives.”
“Holy hell.”, Eddie sighs in frustration, snapping his fingers.
The room around you is suddenly burning as sirens wale in the distance. Running to the window, you looked outside to see all of Hawkins in flames. You sunk to your knees as you covered your ears to muffle the screams of people outside. As quickly as it appeared, the images vanished and you were back in your regular room with two demons staring down at you.
“I know. It’s not pretty, is it?”
Your world went black as your eyes closed and your head hit the floor.
##########
When you shot up the next day, you clutched your chest as you quickly looked around finding only yourself.
“It was just a dream. Oh my god.”, you exhaled as you laid back down, laughing under your breath.
After a quick change of clothes, you grabbed your notes and the necklace to head to the library. You peaked into your dad’s room to make sure he was still ok, leaving him a note on the table to tell him where you were. As you entered the library, you immediately did some quick research that led you to a mythology section of the building. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the placement. Hawkins could be so backward with a lot of things. When you started doing more digging on stones and auras when your mom got sick, this was the same section you found yourself in. This town’s definition of myth was extremely broad.
You found the book you were looking for and slide down to the carpet to lean against the wall. You flipped through, stopping when you found the symbols that matched the ones on the gem. The baseball bat did have nails and represented the demon that referred to himself as Steve.
“Steven is a known demon of protection, protecting any soul that calls for him by any means necessary. He is known as one of the more violent demons killing many beings and monsters with his signature sword. In later millennia, it is believed that he was cast out of his realm for killing one of his own kind to protect another relatively violent demon, Edward.”
“Edward is one of many demons known for music. Throughout history it was reported that Edward played for souls who were suffering. His music lulled many unsuspecting creatures towards their demise, however. It’s also been noted that not only did he use this tactic for war but for lust. He was accused of killing the King’s daughter and was hunted across the realm. Steven found him first and they both went on the run. The King banished them both, casting out Edward as well.”
“They walked from realm to realm before finding a talisman that wasn’t what it appeared to be. The gem belonged to another being who forced them into a life of servitude, trapping them within its material unless set free by a soul who summons them. Any soul that calls for them must kill three individuals or bring about the end of the soul’s world.”
“See? We weren’t lying.”
“Jesus!”, you jumped out of your skin at the sound of Eddie’s voice.
Both men were now sitting on either side of you, arms circled around their knees.
“It’s not a bad gig. I mean at least we still get to move about and watch people die. I wish we had more of a hand in it but…”, he shrugs.
You bring up the book you’re holding just enough to hide your face as you turn slightly toward him.
“You’re real?”
“Yes, we are.”
“And this…this is accurate? The world will end?”
“That is correct.”, Steve responds.
“You have the wrong person for this. I-I can’t kill people.”
“Uh, technically, we didn’t choose you. You chose us. And WE can’t kill people. You can.”
“What? I—”
“Actually, we can kill people but only if they are hurting you.”
After getting up from the floor, you place the book back before powerwalking out the door.
You let out a small squeak when they appear in front of you. “Can you stop doing that?”
“Can you stop running so we can clear the air?”
Bypassing your usual route home, you cut through a forest area so no one would see you talking out loud at what would appear to be yourself.
“Clear the air. Ok, let’s clear the air. How do I know I can trust you? How do I know what you showed me was real?”
“Besides the fact that we LITERALLY showed you the future?”
“How do I know it’s not a trick? Like…killing three people would kick start the apocalypse instead of stopping it…”
“Well, we’re trapped in this realm to so…an end of this world would be the end of us.”, Steve sighs.
“You’re trapped here?”
“Actually, it’s either here or a blank realm we fancily titled Oblivion.”, Eddie chuckles.
“Oblivion?”
“Yup. Just a whole lot of nothingness except me and Ed here.”, he grins as he pats him on the back.
“I still don’t understand exactly why you’re stuck here. Why can’t you go back home?”
“Did you read the book or not?”
You scowl at him as you cross your arms. “Did you kill the king’s daughter?”
Eddie’s eyes narrowed as his sarcastic smile fell. “No, I didn’t.”
“Then why did you run?”
“That’s none of your fucking business.”
“That book said you lured people in not just to kill them but to fuck them. Is that why? Was she like a conquest or something? Is that what I am—”
His hand suddenly wrapped around your throat as he roughly pushed you back into a tree.
“You don’t know anything, little one, so shut your fucking mouth. Do I make myself clear?”
Your eyes widen as you nod and he tosses you to the side.
Steve kneels on his heels as you cough on the ground trying to catch your breath.
“You’re not a ‘conquest’, Y/N. Trust me, we prefer doing shit like this ourselves. It just…is what it is.”
When he reaches out to take your hand, you swat it away, rising to your feet and continuing your walk back home. You hear them murmuring behind you the entire way.
***
“Hey my angel. How was your day?”, your dad grins as you step into his room.
“It was good. I went to the library so…nothing too exciting.” He laughs along with you pausing to cough and gather more air. “I’m going to make dinner now, ok?”
You smile when he nods, gradually leaving the room completely ignoring both demons who are silently waiting for you. As you turn on the faucet to wash your hands, you feel warmth by your side and the sound of snapped fingers before the room around you turns completely dark. You’re no longer in the kitchen but a bedroom from a house when you were much younger. A voice you hadn’t heard in so long echoes through the hallway and you turn to see your mother grinning as she enters.
“Sweetheart, let her sleep.”
“She is sleeping, honey.”, your dad smiles tenderly as he cradles baby you in his arms. “I just can’t believe she’s finally here; you know? She’s going to have the best life. I don’t care what I have to do.”
“Ok, tiger. Calm down.” Your mother pats his back as he carefully lays you back down in your crib. “I understand what you mean though. She deserves the world.”
As she reaches down to caress your cheek, you hear another snap and your current reality comes back into view. You turn to Eddie as a tear falls from your eye.
“I’m sorry…for…snapping at you.”, he struggles as he tries to apologize. “I thought MAYBE this could be my way of making it up to you.”
“You can see the past and the future?”
His tongue presses into the inside of his cheek as he nods.
“May I have a moment alone please?”
With that they were gone and you allowed yourself to cry as you began making your dad’s meal.
#############
After checking in on everything, you grabbed your jacket and headed out the door.
“Where are you going?” You rolled your eyes at Steve’s question. “It’s not safe to walk around at night, ya know.”
“Well thankfully I have two demons looking out for me.”, you respond sarcastically.
They follow you as you walk around the town, trying to ignore them as they continue to verbally push you.
“Hawkins is just rife with people who need to leave this plane of existence. I mean that one there…”, Steve snaps his fingers and images fill your mind. “…he steals from his grandmother to buy drugs for himself.”
“This one…”, Eddie snaps. “She bullied a girl so hard she ended up having a break down and was hospitalized for a year.”
“STOP! Stop it.”, you seethe. “It hurts.”
“It hurts you? Imagine how their victims feel!”
“You don’t think you can kill people. Fine. Why not kill people who are causing harm?”
You sprint till you end up in the woods near your house, skidding to a stop when they appear in front of you again.
“I can’t ok!?”
“Look, we understand—”
“No, you don’t! You don’t understand! I’m a good person. I—”
“Miss? Are you okay?” Abruptly turning you find a man, standing a few feet from you with worried eyes. “Do you need help?”
“N-n-no. I’m alright.”
“What about him?”, Eddie gestures. “He’s definitely not a good guy.”
“No!”, you whisper.
“No? Are you sure, miss? My home isn’t too far. I can call a doctor or something.”
Fingers snap and images cloud your brain again.
“He hurts his wife any chance he gets.”, Steve’s voice fills your ears. “Last week she came home from work two minutes too late according to him and he beat her within an inch of her life.”
Something heavy filled your palm as Eddie continued on your other side. “Didn’t even take her to the hospital. She laid there crying for hours till she was finally able to crawl off the floor onto the couch. The next day he took care of her, apologizing.”
“Why do you make me act this way, honey? You know how bad my temper can be.”
“I…I know. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”
“I know, baby.”
Anger filled your heart as you swung your arm, trying to get him away from her. The visions left your eyes and as you looked down you saw the man now bleeding on the ground. Your hand holding the now red stained rock shook as you dropped it and ran.
***
As soon as you got back home, you headed straight to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you as you began to pace.
“Way to go, pretty girl!”, Eddie clapped from his sudden spot on your bed.
“One down, two to go.”, Steve followed.
You continued to move as they spoke, not hearing a word they said.
“Hey, hey. Come on now. You did amazing.” The metalhead looking boy reached to touch your hand but as soon as his fingers made contact with your skin, your hand flew out to smack him across the face.
“This is your fault. I didn’t want to do this! I just hurt someone.”
Eddie growled as he rose to his feet and slowly began stepping forward. “No. You didn’t hurt someone. You killed someone. Let’s get that distinction right. Congratulations, sweetheart, you’re one of us.” His chest bumped into yours knocking you back towards the wall, his hand pressing up against it near your head as he glared down at you.
“The only difference is we’ve killed way more people than you can even imagine in so many different ways. In our realm people were afraid of us. Remember that the next time you think about hitting me.” His face leans in so close that his breath hits your lips making you shiver. “I can hurt you and not even think twice.”
Your sudden giggle surprises him as he leans back to look at your face.
“No, no. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh but… you can’t hurt me. He won’t let you.”, you gesture towards Steve who sighs as he folds his arms. “He said he’s supposed to protect me from ANYONE who tries to hurt me, even you.” You tilted your head to the side as you continued. “And people from your realm must not have been that frightened by you if the banished you. Hell, you didn’t even fight back! You ran!”
“I like her.”, Steve smirks as the other man’s own eyes scan you from head to toe. “She kind of reminds me of—”
Eddie raises his palm to silence his friend. “Hit me again.”
“What? You just said…”
“I know what I said. Listen to what I’m saying now. Hit. Me. Again.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on, little one. I know you want to. Just like I know you want to fuck me. Well us.”
You laugh at him again but this time it comes out more shaky than earnest. “Pfft, someone has a big ego.”
“That’s not all we have that’s big.”
Pushing him away, you start to head for the door but it’s still being blocked by Steve.
“We are yours for the next 3 weeks. Unless you kill two other people pretty quickly…which, let’s face it, probably won’t happen.” He kicks off the wood with his foot stepping forward as you slowly back away from him. “How long has it been, honey, since anyone has made YOU feel good?”
Abruptly, you run into something hard thinking it’s the adjacent wall before Eddie’s arms wrap around your stomach. You should tell him to stop, tell him to leave you alone and not touch you but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel comfortable in his embrace.
“You took care of your mother when she was sick and now your father. You missed out on opportunities like school and leaving this fucking dreadful town. You work at a job you hate where people degrade you and make you feel worthless. Your last relationship ended because he cheated on you with your coworker yet you still pretend to not know and let her boss you around. Every night you come home and lay in that bed…feeling empty and alone…yet you don’t complain.”
Your head hangs as you try to control the tears from escaping. Fingers snap and you lean back against the other demon’s shoulder as you see the wife of the man you killed grinning as she sits on the floor of her new home cooing at a baby beside her. A man walks in with a wide smile and descends to the woman’s level kissing her lips as she giggles against them.
“You saved her life, Y/N. If she had stayed with her current husband, he would have killed her within 2 years. He’d go to trial but be out of jail within a year due to a good lawyer and an appeal.”, Steve whispers in a soothing voice. “Now, in three years, she meets this new person who makes her feel loved and respected. He never once lays a hand on her and she finally feels safe. She has two kids with him and dies at 80 a few months after he does.”
He snaps his fingers again and your mind clears for a moment before becoming foggy for a different reason as Steve leans down to kiss your forehead. Your entire body lights up at the feeling of his lips against your skin. Is that normal for demons or is it just him?
Soft kisses trail down your jaw till they attach to your neck making you hum in approval. The hands that had been resting on your tummy glide to your jeans and carefully unbutton them before sliding his fingers through the waistband of your panties. The cold metal of his rings startle you slightly as you push your lower half against his.
“It’s ok, sweetheart. I got you.”, Eddie whispers. Your arm loops around to cling to his neck as your fingers tangle in his hair. A tiny moan leaves your throat when his thick digits run through your folds. “You are so wet, pretty girl. Let us take care of you. Let us…” You head tilts against his shoulder again as two of his fingers plunge into your core. “…relieve some of this stress you’ve been carrying.”
Steve descended to his knees, tugging your pants and underwear with him, biting his lip at the sight of how his friend’s hand was glistening with your slick. You whined when Eddie removed his fingers only to whimper when it was replaced with the other demon’s exceptionally large tongue.
“Oh my God…”
“No, baby. Don’t say his name. Say ours.”
Your eyes roll back as his lips connect to your throat, sucking on your flesh as your fingers reach down to run through Steve’s hair. The world became hazy around you as his mouth wrapped around your clit while pressing and flicking his tongue in just the right way. Eddie carefully lifted off your shirt and removed your bra, throwing them to the side.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N. Do you know that?”, he asked as he rest his chin on your shoulder, looking down at your body as his palms roamed purposely avoiding your tits.
“Mmm—how-how many people have you said—fuck—said that to?”
“Steven, she’s still able to form sentences. I think you might be a little rusty, my friend.”, he chuckled.
“Oh…oh God…”, you mewled as he began to lick faster, sliding his fingers into your cunt as he pumped them into you matching his pace.
Eddie grabbed your chin roughly, turning you to face him. “What did I say? You moan our fucking names.”, he snarled through gritted teeth.
“Eddie, stop.”, Steve warned, replacing his tongue with his thumb. They glared at each other but something in his stare scared even you. “Not tonight.”
“I’m…I’m…” Your knees buckled and the demon behind you quickly gripped your body to keep you from hitting the floor as you came harder than you ever had before.
“There you go. Good girl. Good fucking girl.”
As you gradually came down from your high the demon in front you stood up and lightly kissed your lips. A fire ignited in you, through your soul, and straight to your core. Your arms needily wrapped around his neck as you pulled him closer, walking with him backwards to the bed till you both fell on to it.
You squeaked when your palm ran down his chest and you realized he was suddenly naked. Steve couldn’t help but laugh at your shock.
“Remember, honey, all of this…”, he gestures at his body. “…is for you. To make you more comfortable. Not that I hate it. I’m kind of growing attached to the hair.” Your eyes closed as he started grinding his cock through your dripping folds. “This part is still me though. Do you want to feel it? Do you want to feel what a demon’s dick can do?”
Nodding, you prepared yourself as you reached around to cling to his shoulders.
“Can you open your eyes for me? I want to watch those beautiful eyes as I stretch you open.”
As soon as you do as he asks, he grins, gripping the base of his cock and guiding it into your entrance. Just the tip of him had your eyebrows furrowing together. He was much bigger than anyone you had ever had and your walls were resisting his size. When he pushed in another inch, your eyes promptly closed again and his angry grumble immediately hit your ears.
“Y/N, what did I say?”
“I’m…I’m sorry. You’re just…you’re so…”
“Look at me.”, he growled and your eyes snap open. “Fuck, you feel so good. I’ve never had a being as tight as you before.” This time he pushes in a little more forcefully making you groan. “We’re going to fucking ruin you for anyone else. Fuck me.”
Your pussy fluttered at his statement and a sinister laugh echoed from them both.
“You like that, baby girl?” Steve’s forehead falls on yours as he finally bottoms out. “You like the sound of us ruining this little pussy? Say it.”, he commands in a firm tone as you nod.
“I want…want you…to…” He nods encouragingly, his nose grazing yours. “To…ruin my—mmm—my pussy.”
His hips roughly roll into yours and your jaw goes slack at the intense pleasure that courses through body.
“Yeah? Ok, pretty girl. We can do that for you.” Steve leans up on to his knees, lifting your left leg up to chest as his palm holds your other open wide against the mattress. His eyes watch his cock as he begins thrusting into you.
Another set of hands suddenly appear and you quickly turn to see Eddie laying by your side as his fingers lightly play with your erect nipples.
“You never answered my question. DO you know how beautiful you are?” He leans to trail kisses along your neck till his lips find your breast and you moan while he flicks against the bud as he closes his mouth around it. “I actually don’t say that to many beings. Personally, I think your kind is terrible.”
Your fingers thread through his hair as his teeth graze the sensitive area causing your hips to buck up as you moaned loudly.
“You have to be quiet, sweetheart. You may be the only one that can see us but everyone can hear you.” Eddie leaned over you like you weren’t even there, picking your panties up off the floor, and shoving them into your mouth.
Smirking, he placed his fingers against his lips in a shushing motion before sliding his palm between your legs and rubbing them against your clit. Steve slammed his hips into yours and the world melted away around you. You felt like you were floating in space and the only thing keeping you grounded was their hands on your body. White light blinded your vision as you screamed which was rapidly muffled more by Eddie’s hand.
“Atta girl, baby. Let go and just feel it.”
Your climax felt like it lasted hours as Steve slowed his pace, thrusting his cock as deep as he could while you came back down to earth. Suddenly, he grunted as you felt warmth coat your insides.
“That’s it, honey. Fuck…your pussy is just begging for more of my cum. You’re clinging to my dick so fucking tight.” He hovered over your twitching frame, pulling the gag out of your mouth as he continued to slowly pump his hips, allowing your quivering hole to milk him. “Such a good girl. A good, beautiful girl. I know, baby. I know. It feels so good, you want more. It’s Eddie’s turn next. He’ll take good care of you just like I did.”
You whimper when he pulls out, sad at the empty feeling before your roughly turned onto your stomach and aggressive hands lift your ass in the air. In your state of bliss, you can’t make out the words entirely but you hear both demons exchange a few words.
“Don’t hurt her…isn’t…like us…”
“Calm…not going to…”
Pushing up on your hands, you feel Eddie press his cock to your entrance before easily pushing himself in, your mouth falling open in a silent moan. He was thicker than his friend and even with you and Steve’s most recent orgasm leaking out of you, there was still resistance within your cunt.
“Y/N, fuck, sweetheart. Steven, how—mmm—how did you control yourself from not just fucking pounding her into the mattress?” Your pussy fluttered at the thought and he groaned as he leaned his chest down against your back. “Yeah? You like the sound of that? Steve thinks—mmm—we need to be gentle with you.” As his breath warmed your ear, he thrust his hips, pushing himself as far into you as your bodies would allow.
“Naw… you’ve been careful your whole life, haven’t you? You just want to…to let go and be fucked so hard—damn—you forget how unhappy you really are.”
When your only response was your moans, he pushed off your chest and held your hips as he thrust into you. Eddie’s fingers harshly kneaded the flesh of your ass before occasionally slapping it making you mewl. Once again, it was like time and matter evaporated except for you and them. With each slap and thrust, you felt like you could see into another world; a better one.
Your hair was abruptly tugged, yanking you to your knees as his ringed hand held you tightly. As your head tilted to the side, you noticed his eyes were closed as his face scrunched in pleasure. For a second, you forgot who they were and what they were here for. He seemed like any normal man just trying to make you feel good. Your lips moved towards him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek causing his eyes to fly open and look your way.
Eddie’s movements slowed as he scanned your face, trying to get a read on you. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t like humans. He struggled to find any real good within them and quite frankly they reminded him of some of the lower level demons he fought back home. You seemed different than everyone else, you reminded him of her.
He shook the images from his head, pushing your upper half back down against the mattress where you found yourself face to face with Steve. His fingers delicately pushed your hair out of your face before he softly slid them down your skin, reaching under your body and between your legs to rub your clit.
“Cum again, Y/N. You can do it.” He grabs your panties and places it in your mouth again. “There you go, honey. Go ahead and scream. It’s ok.”
His palm firmly covers your mouth as you see that light once more, blinding you as you shriek and moan into your gag as your orgasm shutters through you.
“Fuck, baby. Yes.”, Eddie grunts as he holds your hips tighter, pumping his hips faster.
“Good girl. I know. I know, sweetie. You did so well. You deserved this. Can you say that for me?”, he asks as he tosses your underwear back to the floor.
“I…I deserve…this.”, you pant.
Your body jerks forward as Eddie gives you a few more rough thrusts and you feel his seed spill into you. Like his friend, he continues small pumps to make sure he fully empties into your pussy. Whimpering, he pulls out of your now aching core and collapses beside you. He twirls his fingers and a cigarette appears between them as he quickly lights it, blowing smoke towards the ceiling.
“Y/N, are you okay?”, Steve asks as he rolls you onto your back and caresses your cheek. You mumble something he can’t hear as your heavy eye lids close. Rolling over to face Eddie, you intertwine your fingers with the free hand that’s between you as you push your back into the other demon’s chest behind you. It startles them both as they exchange a glance.
Usually, the beings that summoned them wanted to get things over with as quickly as possible. When they were sexual with them, the summoner was a willing participant but was never intimate. They were demons who were going to leave them after they completed the task anyway so what was the point?
Your lips moved again and Eddie tossed his cigarette into a void before turning to face you, placing his palm on your side.
“Can you hear what she’s saying?”, Steve asked.
The other demon nods as he heavily sighs, pulling your blankets up over your waist.
“She said ‘thank you’.”
#steddie x reader#steddie fluff#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie fanfic#eddie stranger things#steve fanfic#steve smut#steve stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#stranger things#fan fiction#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steve fluff#demon!steddie#demon!Steve harrington#demon eddie munson#au fanfiction
565 notes
·
View notes
Text
Adrien knows Marinette's identity...
Hey guys, I believe that Adrien Agreste knows Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Ladybug. I have evidence that I have gathered and analysed. Believe what you want. I'm happy to hear rebuttals, but after all is said and done, I really think you will believe me.
Okay, so it started in Troublemaker. That was when Adrien first suspected that Marinette could be Ladybug. So, at the beginning of the episode, Adrien sees all the pictures in Marinette’s room and assumes that she has a crush on him. As Chat Noir, he goes into Mari's room, and LB is being very weird and telling him, 'They can take the tour later'. LB gets defensive, and Chat Noir is like, “Wow, lots of pictures,” blah blah blah. Later, when Trouble maker steals one of Ladybug's earrings, half of her face is exposed, and that’s when Chat can see half of her face right.
Chat Noir landed by the window.
This is where Marinette was - and the window is over to the back right.
She is detransforming away from Chat Noir, but then she turns around and grabs her earring, now facing him, to put it back in.
She is side-eyeing so hard lmao maybe looking at Chat Noir?
If Chat Noir was looking, he had a clear shot of seeing her side profile, though not completely clear because her hand was slightly in the way. However, he can see her eyes, nose, and mouth, which can't be completely covered by the quantum masking at that point.
Chat Noir then walks up to her, and says, "That was a close call,"
This can be interpreted in two ways, "I almost found out who you were" or "Hawkmoth almost got your earrings."
I think Marinette interpreted it as the second one because when he says, "Certainly not how I dreamed we'd share our secret identities."
This is her reaction:
Then Chat says, "Oh no, not like that" which doesn't seem very reassuring, but it convinces Marinette that he doesn't know her identity yet, because this is how she reacts:
Notice how awkward Chat Noir looks? He doesn't look very reassuring. To me, the vibe of this scene is just strange, but it makes sense if that small glimpse of Ladybug's face made Chat Noir begin to wonder if she really could be Marinette. When you see a small glimpse of someone you think you recognise, you wonder if it is actually them or someone who just looks similar, and your brain is tricking you; most of the time, you do a double take and realise it is just someone who looks similar, Chat didn't get the opportunity to double take, so he was left wondering.
However, I think he tests his curiosity in the next scene...
In the locker room.
When Mari arrives, and Adrien scares her, he is smug, smirking, etc. It makes sense because he thinks she likes him, but Adrien has never acted like that before. It was almost like he was acting as he does as Chat Noir, and who is the one person who knows how he acts as Chat Noir? Ladybug...
He's very overconfident when usually he is just 'smiles' and 'kind gestures,' and he is getting in her personal space, smirking at her, and downright being flirtatious.
Ok, I want to point out that he looks at her side profile, which you should remember for later because, in the upcoming episodes, he does it a lot. Which may be him trying to see Ladybug in her or the glimpses of Ladybug he thought he saw. Anyway, what really gets me is what he says next. I try so hard to understand what it could mean, if anything but the only conclusion I can come to is that what he says, is him trying to test Marinette.
"...and photographs of me everywhere, even in the most unlikely places.”
Then Marinette giggled and went, “Yeah, who would have a photograph of you under a bed.”
And he’s just like “Right.”
First of all, Chat Noir is the only one who saw the photo under the bed “in the most unlikely places.” It’s almost like he’s alluding to his secret identity to see how she reacts. If she was LB, she would know Chat saw where they were, right? Like he’s almost admitting it?????
Anyway, I think Marinette was a little dense with that scene, but I think if anything it's proof that Adrien really thinks Marinette could be Ladybug.
I don't think he is 100% sure at this point, but I really think he is considering it.
Moving on, when Adrien walks out of the locker room, he is looking back at her:
Then in the end card:
HE IS LOOKING AT LADYBUG!!!!!
They could have chosen any scene, any picture of Adrien, but they chose the one where he is looking back at her, almost analytically if you will, and have Ladybug follow his line of sight. I'm sorry, but with this many clues, there's no way that I'm just reading into it. Even if I'm wrong in the end, I'm literally right.
The evidence does not stop here.
Multimouse. Now, many people believe that this is what really got Adrien to stop believing or kill the idea that Marinette could be Ladybug.
I'm sorry, but no, you are wrong.
Okay, so we know the jist. Plagg and Tikki get caught (almost) by Miss Mendeleev, and she is on the reality TV show. Adrien and Marinette recognise the drawings for their kwamis and realise they must have done something, and this is probably bad. so Marinette leaves, and Adrien sees Marinette leaving and is like, 'huh?'
Surprised Adrien fr.
ANYWAYS the next scene is dumb, like hella dumb, cause Adrien sees Marinette on the phone, walking through the locker room, and is deep in thought and Plagg interrupts and then he's like...
"What if Marinette were Ladybug?"
The way this is worded makes it seem like this isn't the first time Adrien has considered this... Hmm. Hence Troublemaker.
Plagg goes “Marinetteee? Nahhh!”
First of all, great job Plagg you’re an actor. Lmao, not very convincing.
“Besides, you shouldn’t be trying to find out more. If you discovered ladybugs' true identity, you’d have to give your miraculous back! So, if I were you, I’d act like nothing's going on! That’s what I always do when there’s a problem, and it’s always worked out just fine for me."
Okay, so first of all, Plagg, really? He is essentially saying, like ok, you found out, but just pretend you don’t know anything so you can keep your miraculous.
If Adrien was using his logical brain, which I think he was because he agreed with plagg, he would have thought the same. If it were anyone else, Plagg probably wouldn't have said that because there would be no risk of him losing his miraculous unless he was guessing right.
And Adrien goes, “Maybe I should listen to you this time.”
But of course, as the curious kitty he is, he still asks LB when he is there.
“This kwami Buster villain, she’s from Francois Dupont High School, right?"
(Note this part for later)
Ladybug shuts him down, saying, “Remember the rules chat noir… blah blah”
Okay, can I point out the fact that if Chat Noir thinks Marinette is Ladybug, when she detransforms cause of kwamibuster and shouts 'No, don't look over here', don't you think he would be hearing Marinette's voice at that point because she is already on his mind, so wouldn't that be proof enough for him, anyways, continuing on...
Later on, they both lose their miraculous and Adrien is in the banana suit. The next thing he sees is a bunch of kwami's charging toward him, and one stops in front of him, with multimouse on its back.
Conveniently, it is the original multimouse without an extra miraculous.
Marinette says, “Pssst chat noir is that you?”
And he goes, “Ladybug just when I think I finally know you, you manage to surprise me again.”
And she says, “That’s very sweet of you, but I’m not ladybug,” and points to her earrings, “I’m Multimouse ladybug sent me to fetch your miraculous, to defeat kwamibuster.”
Adrien ends up giving Multimouse his ring. I truly think this is because he still believes that Ladybug/Multimouse is the same person, aka Marinette. (I don't think he would have given the ring so easily if not, because look how he reacted with Alya as Ladybug in season 5; he is trusting but only toward Ladybug.)
I believe this because this is his face when Ladybug drops down in front of him beside Multimouse.
Agree to disagree, but he definitely thought that Multimouse was Ladybug.
So, he must believe that Ladybug is still Marinette, and Multimouse has to be someone else.
Furthermore, this is his face when Multimouse ends up being Marinette:
Literally flabbergasted.
Ok. So, I have a few points to cover here. I really think this would have left him very confused.
I think Adrien is a trusting person; he likes to see the best in people. Multimouse told him that she wasn't Ladybug, yet he was shocked when he realised that she wasn't. If I may, this is what I think could have gone through Chat Noir's head:
First, if Ladybug was detransformed, she'd go to the guardian for help to get a miraculous. Now, she couldn't transform into Ladybug, so logically, she would use another miraculous for herself because disguising herself and finding a random civilian for help would be a lot of effort (especially when transformed like, come on). So he probably didn't understand why Multimouse wanted to cover up the fact she was Ladybug, but as Adrien does, he likes giving the benefit of the doubt.
Second, in the illusion, there were no kwami's. There's no way there was enough time for all the kwami's to return to Master Fu between being realised and Chat entering the scene; logically, they would stay with Ladybug. Chat literally saw them earlier; Multimouse was being carried by them. I'm sure he thought a lot about this because Marinette not being Ladybug would be hard for him to accept, so I do think he would have picked up on this eventually.
Third, he didn't go in for a pound when he always does. It may just be the scapegoat for the poor writing because obviously if he went in for a pound it, the illusion would fall away, but he didn't. The only times prior where he didn't go in for a pound it was to take Kagami away when he was falling for her and to hug Ladybug, so the fact he didn't is strange, almost like he knew...
ALSO, Ladybug never convinced him that she doesn't go to Francois Dupont High School, only that Marinette isn't Ladybug, which I'm pretty sure she did the opposite of. It's almost ironic, if you ask me, that as soon as Chat Noir has the slightest suspicion that Marinette is Ladybug, bam, she somehow proves there's no way she ever could be. The thing is, Marinette didn't know Chat Noir was suspicious of her, so why did she need to pull a 180 on him?
Also, if Marinette 'isn't Ladybug', then how would you explain why she left early to go to the toilet? It was suspicious; it literally made Adrien think that she was Ladybug. If I were in the situation, I would think, okay, perhaps Marinette is friends with Ladybug; it would make sense because Ladybug trusted her with a miraculous when she was detransformed - but that doesn't explain away why Marinette would detransform in front of her and Chat Noir, if they were close friends than she would know not to do that, so something obviously doesn't add up.
Can I also point out the fact that Marinette, after she took of the necklace said “I’m so clumsy”
What was the first thing that LB ever said to chat noir?
“I’m mar-a mar-a madly clumsy, I am so clumsy…”
I really think Adrien figured this out because of how he acts in the next few episodes...
(Side note: I just wanted to point out that Marinette is so silly because she convinces herself that Chat Noir doesn't go to her school cause he refers to it as an elementary school when earlier he literally said,' Francois Dupont High School')
Anyways, Adrien was super convinced that Marinette was Ladybug, so much so to the point where this stunt didn't actually convince him she wasn't. How do I know, you may ask? Well, I will get to that, but first, we have an obstacle.
Puppeteer is in between Kwamibuster and the episode with my final proof.
So, how is it that we had to watch that disastrous episode and all the events in it if Adrien knew? Well, let's break it down.
Okay, so throughout the episode Adrien is trying to find a way to cheer Marinette up because he thinks she doesn't like him at all.
Adrien leaves it to the last minute before he jumps back and says, 'Eternity sounds like a long time,' it makes it sound like he is rejecting her right, but we later find out that this is supposedly when Adrien first started having feelings for Marinette because he enjoyed their 'kiss/almost kiss' so I think he was just freaking out because he's always thought that Marinette only sees him as a friend. He's never been reciprocated by Ladybug, so he doesn't know what it feels like to actually be flirted with by the girl he loves BAHAHA anyways this is my take on this.
Then what of the scene in the car? You may ask, well, look at it like this. This is how Adrien is looking at Marinette:
PLEASE
"The girl that I'm in love with doesn't like them either."
I know he is referring to them as two different people, but he's supposed to because Plagg told him to; he has to.
Ok, the evidence you've all been waiting for is plain as day. Chat Blanc.
When Marinette leaves the gift as Ladybug and Adrien sees, his first conclusion is that she is Ladybug. The evidence is right in his face, and because of the hearts, he realises that she loves him. Earlier, when the evidence was in his face, it was questionable, right? He wasn't 100% sure, but that little push of him catching Ladybug leaving a gift from Marinette made him sure.
The fact that she was multimouse didn't saude his made-up mind. he could have easily said, "No, Ladybug must be dropping off a gift for Marinette; she was multimouse."
She never convinced him when she made the illusion.
Obviously, it never happened. Adrien never made the conclusion because Marinette erased the timeline, but that means he's still sitting on the fence, waiting for that last little push for him to finally be able to confess he knows her identity. Do you notice the number of times that Adrien tries to get a reveal in seasons 1-3, then suddenly, in seasons 4 and 5, he stops? Yeah, he is upset they can't 'share' identities, but he never pushes. In season 4, he finally starts showing stronger feelings toward Marinette up to the point he starts to pursue her in season 5.
Do you remember in 'lies' when Adrien longingly looks at the lucky charm bracelet because Kagami thinks he loves Marinette now, not her, and she dumps him? Why does he look at the bracelet like that if it is Ladybug he loves. BECAUSE HE KNOWS THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON!!
In dearest family, when ladybug says the akumatised object is at home and he’s like ??? And she says I mean at their home.
Ephemeral. Well, looking at that scene, he wasn’t even surprised to see Ladybug change into Marinette, he was just blushing and shocked that she was actually revealing, and yeah, he says, “I just found out that one of my best friends is also the girl I love and admire the most”
Can we keep in mind that Adrien admitted that he started liking Marinette at the statue scene (He says this in season 5), right - so how is he calling her his best friend when he knew all along he liked her a little more than friends yk, because I think this could be interpreted in two ways Ladybug is his best friend, but so is Marinette, Ladybug is the girl he loves, but so is Marinette. So I think he is just saying that because he’s finally able to combine his best friend and someone he loves as one person…
OK, now on to season 5.
Adrien realised his feelings for Marinette, and he said it changed when she kissed him as a statue so how could Adrien know that she is Ladybug if he only started liking Marinette at that point when he’s loved Ladybug all along.
Well, I think Adrien just decides to separate the two of them (Marinette and Ladybug) for secret identities. As mentioned before, I believe he knew she was Ladybug but was still sitting on the fence and choosing not to believe it.
I will admit there are some things that Chat noir says to Ladybug that don’t make 100% sense right. Chat said that Ladybug helped him realise his true feelings for Marinette.
First of all, did he not tell Marinette that he realised his feelings for her when they were in the Graven Wax Museum, and she kissed him, and he liked it. He is either contradicting himself or he is not telling the full story.
If you think about it, if Adrien knows that Ladybug is Marinette, it was easy for him to just be in love with Ladybug because it was safe when he believed that Marinette loved Luka and not him you know, but toward the end of season four (Which is very fast paced) he starts getting closer to Marinette right, and ‘realises’ his feelings because she’s always been there for him. But Adrien knew his feelings for her all along, and it just took him a little push for him to finally confess it to Marinette and start pursuing her, that push was Marinette repeatedly showing him that she was there for him, so I think a part of him began to believe that Marinette did love him, so he decided he would try to be with her.
I know it may sound a bit far fetched, but there are some things that happen that just can’t be ignored.
Adrien was desperately in love with Ladybug like hopelessly, and he just gives it up, to me it felt weird like he suddenly switched. With Marinette, she always loved Adrien even when she was pursuing Chat Noir, she was pushing Adrien away because she didn’t want to confront the reality that he liked her back, because she was scared. So yes, she does pursue Chat Noir for a short while, and personally I think it’s obvious that she loves him too, and has all along but we’re not getting into that. Anyway, Adrien is in full denial about his feelings toward Ladybug and I’m sorry the sudden switch just feels completely odd, like what the hell????
You know that part (I forgot the episode) I believe it is one of the last 5 of season 5 where Plagg says “Marinette is the most amazing girl in the world,” well, that is exactly what Adrien used to say about Ladybug…
The switch up is just crazy to me, and the only way it makes sense in my head is if Adrien knows that he’s not ‘switching up’ he’s just pursuing the other side of Ladybug.
SO there is three times I want to point out where I think it’s obvious that he knows.
The first is when Nino tells Marinette about him and Alya being Rena Rouge and Carapace and confesses he told Adrien, and Adrien is like ‘innocent smile, wide eyes’ and looks at Marinette. Marinette is mad and is like “ADRIEN KNOWS? ALYA DID YOU KNOW ADRIEN KNOWS?”
Im sorry but that scene is just so like Adrien looking at his lady, like whoops sorry my lady didn’t mean to find out, I feel like if Marinette was just a civilian she wouldn’t have been mad like that right, so how come Adrien wasn’t confused by her reaction??? She was annoyed, and yeah Adrien was shocked too when he found out but he had the reason that it was because he was doubting Ladybug’s character, but adrien doesn’t know any reason why Marinette would be mad by this, its just so like coded that adrien knows and he realises oh shit marinates not gonna like this YOU KNOW !/!?!?!?
Anyways the second point is that in the finale when Adrien is about to tell Marinette his identity, he says ‘Time to drop the masks’ MASKS not Mask!!!! Like I was like why did they choose to say masks and not just mask???? It doesn’t make sense yk….
Ok and also Adrien’s nightmare, it was him as Anti-Chat or whatever, and he was holding Ladybug, and she was a statue, I was watching it and I was wondering where is Marinette in his nightmare, huh, why is she not there? The girl who he is supposed to love more than anything isn’t there… little does he know, she is there, in his arms, or perhaps he does know, he knows that he killed Ladybug/Marinette. That’s why he stepped back from Marinette’s balcony and couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t drop the ‘masks’ yet.
Anyways, this is my theory. Feel free to comment what you think.
#miraculous ladybug#theory#discussion#fan theory#just some thoughts#analysis#theories#adrienette#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#mlb adrien#miraculous adrien#adrien x marinette#marinette#chat noir#ladybug and chat noir#ml ladybug#tales of ladybug and cat noir#marichat#cat noir#chat blanc
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so seriously who is writing Citadel and are they
A) an AI trained on spy movie trailers but not actual full movies
B) crying quietly in a dark room somewhere after 14 layers of Amazon senior management "improved" their scripts to make them "easier to understand"
C) random PAs they hired for cheap to stitch scenes together after spending all their money on actors and miscellaneous stunts and sex scenes filmed before the script was written
I really want to know because otherwise I just can't UNDERSTAND how this is so boring and bad. Everyone is hot and the basic premise is what if Jason Bourne had a family for eight years and only then got pulled back into spy life with female James Bond he loved, which is a gimme and should be endless stupid popcorn fun and instead it's just DULL! Every line is generic and leaden and rarely connects in a functional way with the very next line! WHY.
OH and for thirty seconds in episode 3, I thought, oh wow they've done a mildly clever thing instead of the boring irritating thing I thought they were doing; great maybe now it'll pick up and then NO they didn't do anything interesting with the mildly clever thing.
On the other hand I do still seem to be watching each episode because Richard Madden everyone IS hot but it makes me feel like that person in the morosexual post. :P
216 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Top 5 Bleach Filler Characters, Appropos of Nothing
5. Inaba Kagerouza, Reigai Arc
Inaba is, simply put, the pinnacle of Soul Society worldbuilding. He's got this long dramatic backstory and a bunch of rage bottled up in his chest, but also a guy needs a paycheck, so he's just been doing the R&D grind for a hundred years. He knows a shit-ton about the Dangai, which is relevant to his evil scheme, but it's also just his day job (also the Dangai owns, I want a PhD in "the Dangai"). No one else in Squad 12 seems to have the least bit of beef with him, even after he builds an evil duplicate of every person in the Gotei. Unlike a lot of mad scientist characters, he's good with his weapon. Maybe he's weirdly jacked under his villainous smock?? Also, his evil scheme was generally well thought out, and took into account the fact that the Gotei is a bunch of buffoons. ngl, I kinda wish his plan had succeeded, if only for the fact that it would probably really piss Aizen off.
4. Ran'Tao, Bount Arc
Everything about Ran'Tao owns, including:
Sexy glasses
Condemned so hard by the Central 46 that they gave her a kidou seal back tattoo
KIDOU. SHOTGUN.
Stabbed Kariya in the gut
Noped out at the end of the arc because Who Needs the Gotei's Shit?
3. Kuchiki Kouga, Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc
I think that when you hear the story about how Byakuya was forbidden from marrying Hisana because she was a commoner, you're supposed to feel this great sense of injustice, like wow! Byakuya actually showed character by standing up for his love! And that's great and all, and then you get the Zanpakutou Rebellion Vintage Kuchiki Bullshit Flashbacks and it's like, oh, the last guy they married into the clan mass murdered a bunch of people and then they had to seal him up in a cave and I feel like that's an important piece of context in the entire Kuchiki Family-Being-a-Bitch-About-Who-Byakuya-Marries debacle.
Which isn't to exonerate the Kuchiki, here! It's very clear that Kouga wasn't that bad before he got pushed over the brink by Kuchiki family machinations. I mean, this is very much an Everyone's The Asshole situation.
I love the fact that they never come out and say that Kouga is Byakuya's uncle, but he's very obviously Byakuya's uncle.
I love the fact that he dramatically cut his kenseikan off with his sword and threw them at Ginrei and they made a gree card of it.
I love that he appears to be exactly Renji's height and has one chunk of hair that is the same color as Renji's and he over-accessorizes horrifically, and at best the Squad Six old-timer's had to be like "Byakuya don't do this to us again" when he hired Renji, and at worst there's a chance that Renji the secret baby that was born after Kouga was banished and he was hidden away in the Rukon so he didn't screw up the succession line but he's actually the true Heir to the Kuchiki.
2. Harugasaki Seizo, standalone episode 313
This dude had a homoerotic rivalry with Ikkaku (doomed, of course, because who could compete with Yumichika?), lost his shinigami powers when he took a blow meant for Ikkaku, and then spent the next hundred years putting his entire pussy into doing laundry for Squad 11. This man invented yearning, even if he did choose the worst possible person in the history of ever as the target of his affection.
1. Amagai Shuusuke, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc
He looks like Ross Poldark. He can't hold his liquor. No one knows who witnessed his Captain's Exam. Ukitake and Kyouraku tried to talk him into a threesome. He was nice to Kira. His bankai was a tuba that made a foghorn noise when it belched out fire. His dad was the shinigami equivalent of a narc, who got done dirty by the Captain-Commander. He fought the Dangai Cleaner and won. I love him more than anything.
Honorable Mention: Kenryuu and Enryuu, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc
Because they are an important reminder that for all the shinigami buffoonery I am forced to witness, day in and day out, some people graduate from Shin'ou, get shikai even, and still can't get hired by the Gotei.
#bleach filler#these are just my own cursed opinions you're under no obligation to share them#kenryuu and enryuu are also here because my husband loves them for absolutely no reason#i was trying to do this post out loud for him and i got to about no 3 and he was like 'kenryuu and enryuu right???' and i was like 'no dear#he also says they are married and will not hear arguments on this topic#i found (1) person on tumblr drawing seizo fanart and i respect that person to the bottom of my heart#i knew renji barely remembered seizo but imma write him into my squad 11 fanfic that i'm never going to finish see if i don't#procrastinating from my fanfic in some really epic ways today lads
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
DaveFarts - Episode 26 “Critical Stink” [Episode List]
During a D&D session, Tim insists that he should be immune to poison damage. The gassy-as-usual Dave makes sure he’s gonna regret such request.
POV: Tim
Critical Stink
The evil Yuan-Ti general and his minions had us cornered: the humanoid snake turned out to be a bigger threat than our team expected. Radahm, our Rogue, managed to backstab one of the lesser enemies in front of us, who then bled to death mere minutes later. Ergg, the annoying wizard, quickly casted a defensive spell to protect us but the snake-like soldiers had weapons capable of undoing any form of magic (…something we never heard of before, in our years of adventures, but OK).
I, the brave Paladin Desal, was our team’s last hope: I could attack our formidable foes with my mighty holy sword, getting closer to the general himself, whose venomous bite was just as dreaded as the blade of his mighty scimitar. Yet, I decided to go for it, I had nothing to fear, for The High One has granted me poison immunity many moons ago. This is why The Fate brought us here… why She brought me here.
It was all leading up to this.
I rush with all of my might towards the snake general, who noticed my deft movement, his long neck dodging my sword at the last second. He hissed back at me, his mouth going for my arm.
I felt his teeth piercing through my white armor, but once again, I had nothing to fear, for The High One has granted me poison immun-
“What do you mean I’m losing HP?!”
Me (Desal), Greg (Ergg) and Adam (Radahm) were having one of our D&D sessions, which are getting rarer given how busy we are. Dave was our DM for this Quest and… we didn’t really like where this was going.
First, that whole bullshit with Yuan-Ti weapons undoing Greg’s magic (and magic in general apparently). Never heard of such thing nor we care, even though Dave found our shock quite delightful. And then -and this is more personal-, all of the sudden, my character stopped being immune to poison… because plot I guess!
“Dude!” I scolded Dave. “I thought we agreed on this like moo- I mean months ago.”
Adam and Greg backed me up, just because the wanted to dunk on Dave than anything else.
“Gentlemen.” our DM replied, in a mockingly formal tone. “…and Tim.” he turned to me and took a sip of his beer, then resumed talking. “What I told you back then was that The High One would grant Desal poison immunity in case you rolled a Nat 20 on a Defense Roll.”
I remained silent.
“And, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t see a 20 anywhere on this table.”
The derisive sarcasm was just as annoying as it sounded, not even considering Dave being utterly wrong about this. If only I could find those papers where we actually took note of this…
“I’m with Tim on this one.” Greg said. “Also if he dies, our quest is basically over.”
“I guess we’re done then.” I said, referring more to the fact that Greg agreeing with me was basically a death sentence to any possibility of being right. “What about you, Adam?” I asked.
“Well, I got my share of EXP by backstabbing that snake guy, so I’m gonna try running away my next turn.” he snickered.
“Team of the year.” Dave commented, amused.
“Disgusting.” Greg remarked.
“Wow the the True Neutral Rogue doing True Neutral things I’m such a bad player.” Adam replied.
“Hey! This is not about Adam’s admirable commitment to role-playing.” I pointed to our DM. “This is about Dave making up the rules.”
“Here’s what I have to say about it.”
Dave, who was wearing a brown hoodie and a pair of dark blue jeans, simply leaned a bit, the wooden chair he was sitting on cracking under his weight. One of my friend’s deafening farts soon followed, the wooden surface making it even louder. Not the first one my bro ripped during our D&D session (we were all high on beer and junk food, so gas was expected), but definitely one of the louder ones. While he still casually does it, I’m pretty sure, considering that evil smirk, that this one time he simply ripped one to, well, startle me, as he knows very well how awkward I (still) get whenever Dave is so chill about my fart kink.
“I guess a storm is getting closer.” Greg commented, after the 5 seconds blast ended.
Dave quickly snapped his fingers and pointed at him. “Good call. Let’s wrap it up.”
So our DM quickly made up that those Yuan-Tis that almost killed us are afraid of thunderstorms (ripping another thunder-fart to further prove his plot point) and thus they ran away, scared, leaving us there, licking our own wounds (almost literally, given Greg rolling a 4 when he attempted to heal us).
We survived, but that was pretty underwhelming.
“So Greg managed heal me, no more poison and shit like that.” I commented.
“I’m your DM: I decide if you get to survive tonight.” Dave reminded me, that annoying sarcastic smirk drawn on his face, fully aware of how annoying he was being.
But admittedly that’s part of the fun you know.
“Well that wasn’t fun at all guys, see you in about 6 months for our next session.” Adam said, as he got up and reached for his jacket. Greg did the same.
We had one last sip of beer together and then our friends left, leaving me and Dave alone at our place. It was late, about 1:00 AM, but also a Saturday.
As me and my bro/roommate tidied up the table we just finished playing on, he decided to keep making fun of my strategies.
“The first mistake was choosing the Paladin as your class, as I told you many moons ago.” he snickered.
“Says the Wizard enjoyer. Having fun casting shit from behind the trees?”
“Yes, because I don’t get poisoned from there. Also, I’m more of a Bard you know.”
“I shouldn’t get poisoned, you know it. But our DM got amnesia apparently.”
Dave laughed, rolling his eyes. “Nat 20 on Defense Roll.” he spoke slowly. “Such a difficult concept to grasp!”
We sat once again at the now clean table, opened two more beers and we kept talking.
“Look, I’m not saying that you don’t remember it. But yes, you don’t remember it.”
“I don’t remember it.” Dave insisted. “Because it never happened.”
“Literally the only thing my character is going for is poison immunity.” I stated, perhaps exaggerating, but you get my point.
“Wow immunity against the worst damage type. Congratulations, Desal! You’re a Paladin, start summoning light pillars or some other gay shit!”
“Dave, we agreed on it. I DESERVE to be immune to poison.” I insisted.
“Fine.” my friend took a quick sip of beer. “All kinds of poison?”
“Yes.” I said, satisfied.
“…even poison gas?” Dave said, a faint smirk appearing on his face.
“Well yes of course, especially pois- I know where this is going.” I glanced at him, unimpressed.
Indeed, Dave laughed and once again leaned, another loud blast erupting from his jeans-clad ass, the wooden chair under him enduring that powerful flatulence like a silent hero. 5 more seconds of farting and he was done.
“You g-gotta admit…” I said, bravely, almost shaking for how embarrassed I was. “That’s one type of poison I’m definitely immune to.” I joked, I tried to.
“Shut up.” Dave replied, chill as usual about my fetish. “You’re tough, I’ll give you that, but Tim…” he put his hand on my shoulder, being hilariously serious about all of this. “We’re talking about my farts: one of these days you’re gonna die because of me.”
He finished that short speech by effortlessly ripping one more quick 2 seconds rip, faking a sad expression, as if I truly was risking my life. I managed to laugh, my boner however almost hitting the table for how good those farts were, a faint smell reaching my nostrils as well.
“Come on. Let me have this at least. Poison immunity in real life!” I kept joking.
Dave looked at me, with a smirk, then turned his attention to a D20 dice we left on the table and reached for it.
“You know…” he started talking in a tone of voice that made me think this whole thing turned into a business deal for some reason. “I can grant you your precious poison immunity… if you pass the test…”.
He was fiddling with the dice, now looking back at me.
“Let me guess: another rule you just made up.” I said.
“Not at all! I forced you through this test so many times lately… but tonight I decide if you actually passed it.” he laughed.
I had no idea what he was talking about. Or rather, pretended not to.
“I don’t understand. Are you planning some kind of challenge?”
“Sort of. I’ll just show you how it’s going to work.”
He passed the dice to me and I just stared at it for a few seconds.
“Roll the dice, Tim.” he said, with a smirk.
I played along and mindlessly let the dice fall on the table. It rolled for a few instants and then I read the number facing up out loud. “Meh, that’s a 4. I’m just like Greg.”
In response to what I just said, Dave snapped his finger to gain my attention. As I turned to him, he leaned once again and a thunderous fart echoed in the empty living room, easily surpassing the sounds coming from the TV across the room, the wooden surface of the chair he was destroying with his gas greatly increasing the loudness of the already powerful rip.
The blast lasted around 5 seconds and… that wasn’t rocket science, I knew where this was going now. I was speechless, I had no idea Dave would even think something like this.
“No.” I simply said, shaking my head, embarrassed.
I stood up, leaving the dice on the table, ignoring the fact that my friend could clearly see the tent I pitched through my blue sweatpants and walked towards the couch, as I kept repeating “No”, each time my bro laughing more and more.
“Scared, Desal?” he promptly asked.
“No!” I took a big breath, turning back to my bud still sitting at the head of the table, his eyes glued on me, his smug smirk still drawn on his face. “It’s just… come on man… I don’t want to… of course I…”
Dave stood up and walked towards me, without losing that smile, now looking a bit more chill. “You know you don’t have to worry about this, not with me, right?” he simply asked, and I knew exactly what he meant.
“Alright…” I said. “I’ll do your dumb test.”
He laughed. “This also counts as me getting my revenge for, you know, you doubting my DM skills.”
I figured I’d just give up: Dave was gonna blast me either way, and I deeply appreciated how he wanted to make sure that no, I had nothing to worry about, he knows I have this kink, he knows I was gonna like this… but that wasn’t going to stop him from torturing me with his well-known blasts. A “revenge”, as he calls it.
Truth to be told, as much as my boner tells you other wise… I do have my limits, and my friend’s farts sounded very nasty tonight, fueled by hours of beers and low-quality food. What made it so dangerous (and hot) is that Dave is well aware of his skills, so he knew that this was indeed going to be a test.
My bro sat on the couch and nodded at me, as if what was going to happen was completely normal, so I sat next to him.
“So… roll for initiative?” he joked, handing the dice back to me.
“I hate you so much.” I replied. Dave just never ceases to amaze me though.
I let the dice roll on the small table in front of us, as Dave took a sip of his beer. We both watched it bounce around for a few moments, until it stopped, a big 7 facing up.
The fart I heard when I rolled a 4 was already impressive so… how is a 7 going to sound like? My roommate seemed to read my mind since he elbowed me, smug smile and all.
I clumsily tried to ask how, well, he was going to face-fart me this time. “What do you want me to… you k-know.”
Dave simply put the beer on the table, right next to the dice and, still silent, simply stood up, towering over me, my face already aligned with his sagging denim ass. He stepped in front of me and reached for my head, planting it on that warm ass, still stinky for all the previous farts he ripped, a faint scent of rotten pizza greeting my nose. He held my face there for a few seconds, in silence, as if he wanted me to, well, enjoy that the leftovers of his previous rips.
But now, finally, the test has officially begun: a big fart engulfed my face, my friend barely needing to push it out, ripping that blast almost effortlessly. He firmly held my head in there, as if I was going to move it away, which obviously wasn’t going to happen.
And yet, Dave keeping my face into his roaring butt, letting me take big whiffs, was always a great bonus: whether he did that because he knew my kinky ass would like it or not… I just didn’t know, but I was ok with it nonetheless… as long as he was okay with me.
He raised his left leg a bit, letting his ass roar even louder.
The impressive flatulence lasted 9 seconds: just beautiful, but I knew this wasn’t the worst (best?) my bud was going to hit me with tonight.
Dave let my head go, turned around to stare down at me, and laughed a bit. He then sat back next to me, as if nothing gross and weird happened.
“This is how you get poison gas immunity: you gotta train those nostrils first.”
“I hate you so much.” I repeated myself, as I took a sip of his beer.
He patted my shoulder in response. “No worries, your training will resume soon.”
I reached for that cursed D20 once again and fiddled with it a bit, before going for another roll.
“How long is this test going to last?” I genuinely asked, with a hint of sarcasm.
“We’ll see.” he winked at me, while looking at something on his smartphone.
Still deciding on whether I was or not the luckiest man in the world because I have a friend like him, I went for another roll, the D20 once again bouncing on the small table in front of us. Admittedly, I sighed in relief when I saw a 2.
“Remind me to never take you to Las Vegas…” Dave commented.
Since it was 2, my bro simply spread his long legs, showing off his sagging jeans in the process, and ripped a short (but still loud, despite being muffled by the couch) toot. Small for Dave’s standards, not even 4 seconds long, but still a nice sounding fart overall.
Not that I wasn’t aware of his skills, but the fact that those were all natural, back-to-back, was almost fascinating to me. Fetish or not, I wish I had such powers.
“Still pretty impressive for a 2, I gotta say.” I said, getting more comfortable with openly acknowledging Dave’s talent.
My roommate chuckled in response. “Such a kinky bitch.” he joked.
As my way to challenge him after that ridiculous fart, I quickly went for another roll. The dice spun for a moment until it revealed the number at the top spot, which immediately made me swallow my pride: a 16.
“Looks like you’re gonna get your ass kicked, Paladin.”
“You better shut up or I’m gonna kick yours.”
“With what? Your nose?”
As Dave (rightfully) made fun of me, he stood up once again, this time on the couch, towering over me even more than before (he had no shoes anymore, only a pair of sweaty socks).
“Just… just do it.” I simply said, horny, my heart racing fast.
Amused, my friend managed to directly sit on my head, as if I was a stool.
“You really want me to k-kill me?”
“I’m your FM: I decide if you get to survive tonight.”
I remained silent. “FM…?”
“FM dude.” Dave kept talking, still sitting on me, as if this was such a natural way to talk to each other. “FM!”
“I don’t get it.”
“Too much blood rushing down your cock, fine.” he said, knowing exactly how true that statement was. “I’ll give you a hint then.”
Treating me like the wooden chair he soiled with his gas, Dave leaned a bit, as he pushed the next rip out… but after a few seconds nothing came out.
“I’m brewing a big one, give me a moment.”
And we just remained there, silent, the stench of his ass almost forming a fog around me, the rough surface of his sagging jeans brushing through my hair. I heard Dave laughing, fully aware how weird that scene must have looked.
“Alright, here it comes for real. Ready?”
He didn’t even wait for an answer as an earthquake shook my skull, making my body shake down to my knees. The vibration literally made some drops of pre-cum leak out of my penis, further proof of my friend’s incredible powers. The fart, needless to say, was so loud it almost made me deaf: I wasn’t made of wood, but the sound of Dave’s blast bounced off the top of my head quite nicely, sounding like a loud, low-pitched chainsaw.
21 seconds. 21 fucking seconds. All natural, all as disgusting as it sounds. I didn’t even need to sniff as I was probably trapped in an invisible bubble of gas.
Finally, after wiggling his ass a bit so my hair would completely absorb that fart, Dave stood up, ripping a couple of small toots while doing so, and sat back where he was. He looked at me with a smirk, but couldn’t help but laugh noticing me startled facial expression.
I’ll just never get used to this.
“FM… Fart Master… Fuck you.” I said, shaking my head.
“If it's any consolation… you almost earned that immunity you wished for.”
This is all just a dumb kinky game for him. I couldn’t be happier, but also holy shit, the thin line between kink and torture was getting blurry with a friend like him.
“Just say that I earned it. It’s late, we’re both tired.” I tried to end this, not that I wasn’t enjoying it but come on, I couldn’t force my straight bud to do, well, this, even though it was his idea to begin with.
“Fine. One last roll.” he agreed.
I shook the dice in my fist for a few seconds before finally letting it fall one last time on the table. It bounced a couple of times, I could feel the tension rising.
And finally…
No.
No fucking way.
There’s no way this wasn’t scripted somehow.
“Uhhh… Dave?” I dared to turn to him. He was already laughing.
A Nat 20, a fucking Nat 20, something that I always crave during our D&D sessions, but this fucking dice decided that a FART session was more important apparently.
“That’s gonna be a critical hit, Tim.” Dave stated, standing up again.
“No way you got that much gas already.” I bravely said.
My friend laughed again, that usual smirk drawn on his face.
“I’m just gonna blast you on command for a bit.”
The fact that he said that sentence so naturally made me leak a bit more.
“uhhh… thanks?” I said, my brain now completely devoid of any blood.
“Yeah sure, just lie down so I can put an end to this test.” I obeyed. “And also to your face, obviously.” he added, pointing down at me.
Once again, as if it was something completely mundane, Dave waited for me to lie down, so he could simply sit directly on my face, treating my head as part of the couch. Then, he just sat down on me as he said, the sagging jeans-clad asscheeks basically devouring my face. I couldn’t see anything but some details of the seams and textures of my friend’s jeans; at the same time, I felt the warmness, the stench, the sweat, all at once. I was used to my bro blasting me up close and personal, but this time it felt particularly overwhelming.
He wasn’t crushing me (I’m sure he was doing his best not to), but that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t feel most of his weight all over my face. As his ass was resting on my nose, he put one leg on the table in front of the couch and leaned a bit, so he could ease some gas out… or rather in.
As promised, Dave was gonna fart-face me on command for the critical hit. He masterfully sucked some air in, showing off his skills smoothly. I knew this was gonna be a fucking fart concert. I was both horny and scared, because my bro is indeed the Fart Master, as he bragged earlier.
His ass stopped making noises, a sign that what came in was going to be blasted out soon.
“I mean… all of this to earn something you had all along. What a thirsty bitch.”
I heard Dave say, playfully mockin- wait what? All along? But I didn’t have time to say anything back because of the loud fart that pierced through my eyes and ears. It sounded a bit more “airy” than his previous ones, given that it was on command, but oddly enough it’s like there was a mix of natural gas in there as well: the stench of spoiled beer definitely helped prove it.
The fart lasted 11 seconds, way “shorter” than the previous ones, but as I said, this was gonna be a concert, so as soon as the first blast ended, Dave started sucked air in again, faster than before, as another ass-thunder quickly went down my throat, loud and proud as my friend does them.
Basically, this concert was gonna be one long ass fart with many interruptions.
This one was more of a series of 7 loud long rips ripped back-to-back, lasting about 3 seconds each. It was insane: it was like somebody was shooting at my face point blank with a fucking shotgun.
At this point I started to wonder whether Dave knew I was still there, as he kept ripping farts as if there wasn’t anyone lying under his ass.
Now he was sitting full-weight on me, almost making me fuse with the couch. He spread his legs wide again, as much as his sagging jeans allowed him to, so he could easily release an impressive, meaty, loud, almost wet rip all over that sweaty mess that used to be my face. Now that’s definitely a mix of natural and on-command, and the fact it was slightly wet only made the smell burn my nostrils even more.
This one fart didn’t want to end instead, my bro’s ass roared all over my face like one of those beasts we fought earlier during our D&D session. A display of cocky, disgusting manliness I’ll never get used to, given how skilled Dave is.
Finally, after around 20 seconds, his ass went silent again. I heard Dave whistle in relief.
“You ok down there bro?” I managed to heard him say. So he does know I’m still here!
He got up just a bit, his ass hovering (or rather, looming) over me, just enough to let me slip out of that gas chamber. I sat back to my place as he let his ass sit on the couch again, this time without having me under it. I managed to give a quick look at my friend, who had this silly smile on his face. He was visibly disgusted, but also oddly amused.
“Than-“ but he cut me off.
“You know, you totally earned your poison immunity bro.” he paused for a few seconds. “I mean… that’s what I’d say if you didn’t already have one all along.”
Oh, right. “What the fuck does that mean…?” I asked, sounding a bit more rude than I wanted to.
Dave laughed. “I actually found our conversation from months ago.” he showed his phone to me. “This is the part where we agreed on your immunity, but I forgot.” He chuckled.
I skimmed through the messages and, indeed, I was right.
“You sick bastard.” I sneered at him.
He found it hilarious. I found it… well, I too thought that it was hilariously hot as fuck, but I had to fulfil my role of being a pain in the ass.
“So you just wanted to torture me.”
“Not at first.” he admitted. “Then again, it’s not like I need an excuse to blast you, right?” he then said, winking at me. “Plus, I’m a Bard, I can make music with everything.” he then added, patting his ass.
I just didn’t know what to say, so I did what every mighty Paladin would have done: I simply stood up, not caring about my very visible, damp, huge boner, and went beating my meat in the bathroom upstairs.
Honestly, if Dave took his role of DM as seriously as his role of being my FM, our D&D sessions would go much more smoothly.
The End
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some thoughts after episode 64:
Right... so, let's start with the positives:
the shared moment and kisses before the shop opened were important to reassure Marta that Fina still wants her despite her speech from the day before
the slap on Fina's bum was soooooo good!
the picnic idea and the look of hope on both their faces.... Arghhh...
Isidro is growing on me. Yes, he still has some progress to make but he truly cares about Fina and from the preview for Monday's episode he cares for his daughter's happiness.
Now, the pain and angst:
Mr Disease (Claraedits2 subtitles are cracking me up all the time, it's brilliant) is totally oblivious that he is constantly interposing and Marta tried to dissuade him for the lunch date as she truly wants to be with Fina for a picnic but he is coming at her with the grace of a bulldozer and actually uses Fina's care for Marta (without knowing the full extent) to persuade Marta to take her lunch break with him.
Secluded booth/table at the steakhouse to hold hands with Jaime... The look on Fina's face and Marta's reaction... Talk about losing one's appetite...
The look Marta gave Fina before exiting the shop... No words needed, you could read all the pain in this look...
The preview for Monday... Marta crying after meeting up with Fina and trying to reschedule a date with her. It looks like Fina is on the verge of calling things off and breaking-up with Marta, or at least putting some distance. That could go either way: Marta will get so bad/heartbroken that she'll crack and tell Jaime/or Jaime will finally connect the dots, or Fina/Marta will be a on break hiatus and they'll each die inside while maintaining appearances in public. Either way we're in for a very painful week next week, which really is a bummer as it's my birthday next week and I was hoping to get some Marta y Fina happy moments, no matter how short.
I've got this theory that deep down Jaime is a repressed gay. Why would you be away from your wife for months when you're married to such a stunningly beautiful and successful woman such as Marta? That theory would solve everything as they could be friends and maintain a lavender marriage while behind closed doors they could be with their true love interest. It would be the ideal plot for this 1958 series. That's my wish at this point...
Jaime, despite being a road block for Marta and Fina, is not a bad person I think. He truly cares about Marta I think, in his own way. He seemed genuinely grateful for Fina's act of bravery and he cannot be faulted for that. He is annoying because he is in the way but he is not a villain. He respects Marta and her work. At that time, it was not necessarily the case for husbands to be supportive of their wife's career. As Claudia said, he behaves as a gentleman, at least in this time frame of the late 50s, and because of that Marta and Fina cannot despise him, which makes the whole situation even more conflicting and painful for them. Well done on the screenwriters for not making him a stereotypical villain/ignorant man. It's painful but we're here for it.
Now, Marta Belmonte's acting is mesmerising. Alba Brunet is excellent too and they have great alchemy on screen but WOW Marta Belmonte is magnetic. When she is on-screen, one cannot look at anybody else almost. She totally owns each shot she's in. The nuances she conveys, body language, the eyes, her voice... everything is on-point. I hope she'll get more amazing roles like that in the future and that this series will open doors for her, maybe outside of Spain. She deserves to be known worldwide. Chef's kiss. It's an honour and privilege to see her play Marta de la Reina.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
TOWL - Finale reactions and Holy Shit.
I'm pretty sure we started out with Rick thinking, Fuck, I'm going to have to kill Pearl.
It was way too easy for Michonne to break in. Like way too easy.
Beale, not really a citizen? That's a strange way to put it. They only kill for food or compulsion. Right? What does that mean? Is that a question? Beale sharing his time with Rick, sharing the weight? What the fuck does that mean?
Of course, it was in the cat. Just for Michonne.
But also, all those pictures of Gabe- it kind of sweet in a it didn't have to be that way kind of way.
Lol, Michonne Bodied that soldier.
Beale making Rick take his prosthetic off means he doesn't know how Rick will react. I wonder if someone else reacted poorly to the briefing. And his talking about killing Claimer Joe is wild.
"THe soldier in question has never been someone like you." Hmmmmmmmmm??? What does that mean? Does he want Rick as his successor?
How old is Beale? He went to Nam, twice?
Ummmmm, the teddy? like the first episode? But also shows how brutal the CRM is. Like they are moving stuff and droped a stuffed animal. It makes you wonder how they got it? Why?
Child evacuation protocol? 14 years? 1,000,000 strong hordes? Evolution of the virus? He thinks they are saving humanity. He thinks they are the ones who beat the odds.
He sacrificed Philly to save PA. Such a hardship; it's not like they could fight and save them all.
(I'm only a little sarcastic.)
Only 10% of children saved? What the fuck?
He admitted to Omaha and Campus Colony. Wow.
So, they want to take over the CRP. They want to take over the world.
The walkie going off during the meeting was kind of great. Her walking out of the meeting can be so bad.
He wants Rick as the leader. I felt like that might be coming.
Is Rick really thinking about Killing Beale in his office? That is such a bad idea. I love that Beale took the gun and the prosthetic but not his knife.
Is Beale trying to get Rick to bring in Alexandria? You know that shit isn't real.
Swear on the sword... Holy shit! You know, I don't think Rick has ever not taken a beating in a fight until now. That was the hottest freaking Rick kill ever. My god, I want to watch that over and over.
Please don't have to kill that man in the elevator. You can't leave a trail of bodies that lead to you. Bro, a blood pool? an actual trail...
I love how they came to the same decision at the same time.
ah, shit, he saw the blood. Rick always gets the shit kicked out of him before he wins. That was brutal as fuck.
"Is this yours?" "What's in it?" lol, a body.
Is Pearl going to be the big bad in the next season- I really want a next season, like so bad.
This is the shit we do.
Why the fuck did he leave his hand behind? That is such a good weapon/tool. I mean, that sets up for the comic hook hand, but man, I really liked that hand.
The balls on them to do that surrounded by all those soldiers. Holy hell. They should be pissing their selves.
It took Pearl forever to realize who Dana/Michonne was. Like, she was supposed to be smart.
But using Beale and that soldier to pull the pins? That is freaking smart. Then Pearl coming in at the absolute wrong moment is freaking wild. She just fucked herself, there is no way Michonne will let her live.
The hand-holding was sweet, though.
How the fuck did Thorne live through that?? Is he going to kill her? Like actually? Is it like Shane all over again? He has to kill her like he has to. Fuck her up, Michonne!
LOVE DOESN'T DIE.
Get that man a gas mask, please.
They took it to the CRC/CRP. They took down the CRM. Free movement established. It's done.
Awwww! Omg! It's their babies. It's Judith. It's RJ. Rick sees his baby! "I knew it, Dad." Awwwwww.
"You're the brave man?" I lowkey hated that. "You can call me dad." Awwwww.
Believe a little longer.
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
What’s an example of a HB episode you thought was written well, and an episode you thought was written terribly? Can be a fun thought exercise
I think season 1's episodes are decently enjoyable even if the season shows clear signs of the problems that would be made more obvious in season 2. I mainly liked episode 2, I thought it was a heartfelt episode exploring Stolas' relationship with Octavia and the scene where Stolas talks to Octavia is actually pretty sweet.
As for an episode that was written terribly...well, I've said it before that I don't like this episode so I might as well just state my reasoning for this.
I think Oops is the worst episode of the show. Of all the episodes so far, it's the one with the most issues I can name. It's definitely the worst-written episode of the show.
First problem: the pacing. It's waaaay too damn fast. It feels like none of the scenes have a chance to breathe because we need to get to point A to B as fast as possible. And this is a problem that will be made worse once we get to a certain scene.
Then there's the Stolas and Asmodeus subplot...
Why? Why does this subplot exist? What's the point of it if Stolas and Asmodeus weren't even going to do anything throughout the whole episode? This could have literally been something that was happening off-screen, we didn't need to cut back to it throughout the episode.
Then we get the reveal of the incident that broke Blitz and Fizzarolli's friendship, where Blitz accidentally set the whole circus on fire permanently making Fizzoroli lose his limbs...
Here's why this scene doesn't work; it has no impact. The bad pacing combined with the tonal problems make this scene have no impact whatsoever, the show never even builds up to this reveal, it just randomly slaps you in the face with a 10-second flashback and you aren't given much time to process it.
This also leads me to my next problem with this episode; the resolution to Blitz and Fizzarolli's friendship feels insanely rushed, there's a 10-second flashback about what happened and then they just forgive each other like that. Do you see what I mean when I say this episode is badly paced?
Then there is the worst scene in the episode. The one where while Blitz and Fizzarolli are in the cell, Blitz vents about how Stolas pretends to like him despite only wanting to have sex with Blitz and nothing else even though he supposedly does all these nice things to Blitz.
Do you want to know why I don't like this scene? Simple; It's a retcon. The entire point of Blitz and Stolas's relationship in season 1 was that Stolas only wanted to sleep with Blitz and nothing else, to turn around and say "oh look Stolas did all of these nice things for Blitz guys!" feels like an attempt to try and make Stolitz look less toxic than it really is. We are told that Stolas did all of these nice things for Blitz, rather than shown. It's lazy.
Then there's the next problem with this scene; the show treats Blitz as though he is in the wrong for thinking Stols only loves him for his dick and nothing else. The show gaslights Blitz for being upset at this and it's kinda gross? Like the show is getting mad at a victim for getting mad at their abuser for only being interested in them for sex, I don't know if I would say this is victim blaming...but still.
Oh I'm still not done, because then after that scene we get the reveal that Blitz had a knife in his shoe the whole time and-
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE IF HE HAD THAT THIS WHOLE TIME THEN WHY DIDN'T HE USE IT EARLIER??!?! WHY WASN'T PULLING THIS THING OUT THE FIRST THING HE DID WHEN WE GOT INTO THE CELL??!
Also wow, just how convenient that Blitzo has this in his shoe when we've never seen him use it before so they could escape. Wow, that is totally not contrived and lazy writing at all.
I know this post turned into me ranting about Oops, but I think the episode is an example of how badly written the show is mainly in season 2. There are probably more problems I can name when I rewatch it, and the fact that the fandom hailed this as an amazing episode is just...baffling to me.
Especially when the episode decides to ignore the whole point of Blitz and Stolas' relationship in season 1 and retcons it to make the ship look less toxic than it actually is.
#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#oops helluva boss#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel critical
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
wow one thing i love so Much about the Guys is that they’re all aware of their situation, one way or another. it’s such a cool little detail.
Red guy is the most obvious, being aware that he’s stuck. he wants out, he wants change. he might be the most aware of just how bad things are. he is constantly associated with testing things, even in the web series. in Love, when Yellow runs off, he says,
“He seems upset about something. I wonder what will happen.”
and again in Dreams, when he pulls the plug on the Computer,
“I wonder what will happen”
so right from the beginning, Red is associated with change. and in the tv series, he begins to start fighting back agains the Loop and the House, claiming several times that he wants to leave, that he wants a change.
we get to see this a lot in Transportation, pretty much through the whole episode. but when he’s telling Yellow about the neighbors, he makes a comment (though severely muffled due to Yellow’s daydream) about how their stuff won’t come to life anymore when they escape. and during his breakdown, he starts yelling at Duck that Groton and Hovris always end up back at home at the start of the next episode. it’s pretty clear that he’s actually talking about their life. and Red is desperate to get out of there.
he is aware, to some degree, that he is caught in a Loop.
Duck is different. Duck is aware that he is being watched. he knows to some extent that his actions are being documented. Duck is constantly associated with screens, and you can see more in this post and this post as well about how he breaks the fourth wall quite a few times, and is evidently the most accepting of their world, almost to an unhealthy extent.
so Duck is aware of an audience’s presence.
Yellow guy is aware of missing.
he doesn’t know what- probably a side effect of his old batteries. but he makes so many off handed comments through the show that truly make so much sense… he totally has a better grasp at what’s going on above the Guys then Duck and Red do. in Electricity, when Duck asks for help finding ‘the opposite of down. two letters.’ (which is clearly up) Yellow says,
“it’s when you can’t remember that over the top of you, there are… bigger ones, that are bigger, and bigger, and over the top of it there’s a smaller one and all of it, at the top of that.”
which is an exact description of what you find if you go up the stairs.
we know he’s done it before. based on the photo on the stairwell and Leslie’s comment about waiting for him, this obviously happens frequently. and i’m assuming that Yellow’s batteries get taken in most Loops, too. that’s why the other Guys haven’t read the Book yet.
Smart Yellow also makes it clear that he’s aware of his memory being messed with, and starts questioning the Loop and the Teachers (which Duck hates)
but Regular Yellow retains the memory of climbing the stairs. not by much, but enough to connect it with the word ‘up’ when he’s got no batteries and is already being controlled by whatever is keeping them in the House.
so Yellow is aware of the bigger picture, and of missing memories.
i just think it’s really cool to make all of them know that something is Wrong, but they’re too stubborn to just fucking talk to each other and maybe even escape
#dhmis#dont hug me im scared#dhmis red guy#duck dhmis#dhmis yellow guy#yellow guy#duck guy#red guy dhmis#duck#red guy#dhmis post#dhmis theory#dhmis analysis#dhmis spoilers#dont hug me#its so very late#but i can’t stop thinking about it#the guys#its them#theyre so neurodivergent#and gay too#can’t forget the gays#anyways#leslie dhmis#the big boys#tired
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Devin's Dude Ranch: Episode Nine
*the episode opens with a shot of Echo Valley Ranch. It's early-mid morning and the birds are singing.*
Devin, in diary room (with a lot of energy): "Today's the day of our second challenge and I can't wait to see how the guys do! Can you tell I'm really excited about this one!?"
*the next shot opens with Devin standing in front of a stage area set-up in her backyard. the contestants are lined up in front of her.*
Devin: "Hi guys! Good morning. Welcome to our second challenge. I hope you guys are ready to give this one all you've got because frankly, I've really been looking forward to today."
Devin (continues): "I can see it on your faces: 'Devin, what the heck are we doing?'. Well, fellas. Today, you'll be putting on a talent show!"
*the contestants murmur among themselves*
Devin (continues): "I know you've all got special talents and I want to see them today. Whoever impresses me the most will win a solo date. Are you guys ready?"
*the contestants cheer in reply*
Devin: "That's what I want to hear! Alright, Houston. You're up first!"
*the next shot shows Houston sitting down at a grand piano, he begins playing Moonlight Sonata*
*Devin can be seen in the background with a smile slowly spreading across her face*
*Houston's playing is beautiful, though he does trip over a few notes here and there. he grimaces when he does but pushes through and finishes the piece.*
*when Houston finishes he stands, receives his applause and waits to hear from Devin*
Devin: "Wow. That was truly beautiful, Houston. You continue to impress me. Thank you."
*Houston places his hand over his heart, mouths 'thank you' to Devin then returns to his seat with a smile on his face.*
Stan, in diary room: "Hot damn. Is there anything that boy can't do? I mean, it wasn't perfect, but it was sure a hell of a lot better than I coulda done. I might be in trouble for this date."
*the next shot shows Albert on stage. he has a microphone in his hand and is performing a comedy routine.*
Albert: "I went and visited my parents recently. My parents have a real, real, real fat cat. It’s real fat. People point it out, you know? They walk in; They’re like, 'Man, that cat’s fat.' And it feels rude, you know, like, 'He doesn’t speak Simlish, but we do, so maybe don’t say that.' And they’re just… you know, they’re like, 'What are y’all feeding this cat?'"
Albert (continues): "You’re like, 'Whatever you feed a cat, dude. Like normal cat food stuff. We pour a bowl. Like, if he eats eight birds outside, he doesn’t tell us.' You know, he’s not like, 'Oh, I ate out tonight. I’m good.' And then they’re like, 'Well, y’all should do something.' You’re like, 'What do you think we’re not doing? Do you think he has a gym membership and we don’t drive him to the gym?' He’s a cat. That’s his gym membership, he’s a cat. I watched him jump from the ground on top of the refrigerator. That’s like if I jumped on top of a school bus from the ground. Like, if I… if I did that, you’re not gonna be like, 'Well, you still could lose a little bit, you know.' Just keep doing what you’re doing."*
*Devin & the contestants can be heard howling with laughter*
*comedy bit originally by Nate Bargatze - because I'm too high and tired to try to write actual comedy.
*when his bit is complete, Albert puts the microphone back and waits to hear from Devin*
*Devin wipes her eyes and composes herself*
Devin: "That is...*bleep*ing hilarious, Albert. Do your parents really have a fat cat?"
*Albert nods*
Albert: "Oh yeah. His name is Reggie."
Devin: "Well, I love Reggie. And thank you so much for making me laugh so hard my face hurts. I didn't know you were such a comedian, but now that I do, that's a plus in your column, cowboy."
*Albert runs over to Devin and kisses her hand before hustling back to his seat*
Houston, in diary room: "I hate to admit it, but Albert's bit was actually really funny. Now I'm worried. I really want this date with Devin."
*The next scene opens with Stan at the microphone. he's backed up by music playing through the stereo behind him and he's singing Cheeseburger in Paradise.*
*Devin looks on, half impressed by the quality of Stan's singing voice and half amused by his choice of song.*
Stan (singing):
"I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, good God almighty which way do I steer
For my
Cheeseburger in paradise
Making the best of every virtue and vice
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice
To get a cheeseburger in paradise
Get me a cheeseburger in paradise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise"
*the music comes to an end, and Stan squares himself in front of Devin, clearly proud of his performance*
Devin: "Stan! That was both entertaining and impressive. I didn't know you could sing that like! And somehow that song choice is 100% you. I loved it. Thank you so much."
*Stan nods to Devin, thanks her and returns to his seat, wiping the sweat from his forehead*
Handra, in diary room: "Stan was living his best life up there. He was being true to himself and I loved that for him. Way to go, buddy!"
*the next scene opens with Handra front and center. He's playing Hotel California on guitar.*
*Devin leans forward in her seat and watches Handra play intently*
*Handra plays perfectly, making each note of the song come alive as he strums the resonator guitar.*
*when the song is over, he sets the guitar down and looks to Devin*
*Devin takes a deep breath*
Devin: "Handra. Wow. That was incredible and so...moving. Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us. I had no idea you were musically talented. I'm very, very impressed."
*Handra beams at her, mouths 'thank you' before blowing her kiss and returning to his seat*
Albert, in diary room: "My boy Handra can play, holy *bleep*. I'm in trouble for this date. Man!"
Devin: "Guys, that was every bit as amazing as I hoped it would be. Thank you so much for showing me your talents. I am so impressed by all of you. Truly."
Devin (continues): "This was a really, really hard decision. But, at the end, I had to go with the person who surprised me the most with their talent."
Devin (continues): "And that person, is..."
Devin (continues): "Albert!"
*Albert stands up and looks utterly shocked*
*Winner picked by random name picker.
*he meets Devin at the front and the two share a quick hug*
Devin: "Congrats, funny guy."
*Albert grins and returns to his seat*
Devin: "Again, guys, thank you so much for today. I really had a good time and hope you did too. And don't forget - there are still plenty of chances to win solo dates with me."
Albert, in diary room: "I won. I'm going on a solo date with my girl. I can't believe it. And Mom told me I'd never get anywhere being funny. I guess I owe Reggie some catnip or something..."
Devin, in diary room: "I can't believe the talents these guys have been holding out on me. I mean, how amazing was today!? And I'm really, really looking forward to my date with Albert. I can't wait to spend more time with him and see if there's more between us than surface level stuff."
Houston submitted by @invisiblequeen
Albert submitted by @bakersimmer
James "Stan" submitted by @natolesims
Handra submitted by @bloomingkyras
PREVIOUS | NEXT
#devinsduderanch#devin delaney#houston bloom#handra diaz#albert robins#james stanford#sims 4 bachelorette#sims 4 bachelorette challenge#echo valley ranch#chestnut ridge#sims 4 horse ranch#simblr#the sims 4#sims community#ts4#sims 4 love story#sims 4 story#sims 4 screenshots
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Precure Daily's Sixth Anniversary
On April 10, 2018, I posted the first review in the project that became Precure Daily. It wasn't actually on tumblr at that time, but on Facebook. The plan was to watch an episode every day and just post some thoughts, but it evolved into reviews and screenshots and that necessitated a whole blog, and here we are. That was six years ago today!
Six years. It's hard to believe. I honestly, truly didn't think I'd still be doing this. Whether I petered out before the end, or managed to get it all done in the 2-3 years I anticipated, I figured I'd have stopped by now. But somehow I haven't given up yet! I'm still watching, still writing, and still getting new fans to share with, and that makes it all worth it.
The past year was slow, I will readily acknowledge it. I only got about 7 reviews out in that time, including the one that just went up earlier today, but one of those was the Go Go movie. That was a whole undertaking, it took me nine months to get out. Granted, for about 6 of those 9 months it was just sitting there unchanged. I'd open it occasionally to poke at it but then not end up getting much done. Maybe it still wasn't the best it could have been but I'm proud of it nonetheless. It was a good review for a good movie. Also, I got to review the very first All Stars, even if it was a short film. Having recently wached the most recent All Stars brings that experience full circle and it's real nice.
One small hiccup is that, at the time of writing, I haven't yet gotten out the traditional Honoka birthday post. I just haven't had time to sit down and gather artwork for it. Hopefully that'll come out in the next day or two!
Outside of the blog, let's look at the wider world of the Precure series over the last year
I said last year that I hadn't finished Delicious Party, and that's still true. When it was on air, I was watching it with a friend and she was really into it; we are going to resume watching together to finally push through it.
HIrogaru Sky's second half was good, it lacked a little bit of the driving power of the first half and the villain plot never properly came together in my opionion. I still love the characters, I think they're my favorite cast in a good while.
I did not watch Otona Precure. Although I've watched Go Go before, I want to finish this current watchthrough for the blog before I jump into it. Maybe I'll even review it as I go, that remains to be seen. I've heard mixed things about it and I'm not very big on the idea that the girls just go back to teenagers when they transform, but I'll reserve judgment.
Wonderful Precure did not appeal to me when information started coming out, and I fell off it for a few weeks when the first couple eps didn't impress me, but I decided to keep going and it's thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think it's going to crack my top 10 but it should be a solid middle of the road series.
I watched the Delicious Party Precure movie and Precure All Stars F with friends in fairly close proximity, and wow do those movies exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. DeliPa's film was one of the weakest Precure movies I've seen, while All Star F was phenomenal. I need to rewatch it.
I did say last year that the blog would look different when I finish Go Go. That is still true. I should be able to wrap that up in a few months, then comes the next phase of things. Deets when it happens.
And also just because I can, here's some recommendations for shows outside of Precure you should watch that came out in the last year-ish:
Oshi no Ko
Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a monotone elf)
SPY x FAMILY (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a psychic toddler)
Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger
The Last of Us
And I think that's it for this year's update! Here's to another year of watching and writing about Precure! Thanks as always to my loyal friends and fans for making this project a success: @sailorzombiestar, @vertixscribe, PaintedOutlaw, @hanasaki-tsubomi, yugimon135 (can't tag you for some reason), and my newest fan @nono-bunny.
Here's all my previous sappy anniversary posts if you want to go back and read them.
First Anniversary
Second Aniversary
Third Anniversary
Fourth Anniversary
Fifth Anniversary
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Radio Bam - F!Reader Fic
Episode Four
ep one - ep two - ep three
Desc: You’re a regular on radio bam!!!! And you’re a whore !!!
A/n: thank you anons for inspiration <3 also gonna keep eps a little shorter so i have more to write for! feel free to send more ideas!
warnings: strong language, explicit mentions of sex
⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒
Y/n: It’s Radio fucking Bam everyone, Dico’s done enough intros for now I’m sick of him calling me a whore so I’m doing it tonight! Today we got minging ass Brandon DiCamillo, father of the year Brandon Novak, the dickhead that airs out everyone’s business Ryan Gee and the other dickhead Baaaaaaam Margera!!! Oh and me hot pants.
Dico: You’re calling yourself hot pants now?
Y/n: I’m embracing it, it’s kinda endearing.
Dico: I wouldn't say that.
Novak: Y/n can’t call me a whore anymore after last night.
Bam: Ah man I’m still fucking thinking about that.
Y/n: We’re airing this out already huh?
Dico: Shocked Gee hasn’t posted about it on his website yet.
Bam: He’s typing it up right now.
Gee: I didn’t get a photo of it.
Y/n: Thank god.
Bam: Y/n you genuinely deserve the whore title for that I’m not kidding.
Dico: It’s up there with Novak’s worst.
Y/n: No it is not you guys are so fucking dramatic.
Gee: Dude it was pretty hardcore whoring.
Y/n: Let a girl live.
Y/n: As if Novak’s never fucked in there either.
Y/n: As if Novak’s never fucked in there either.
Novak: Well I don’t bring home random haggard ass dudes from the bar.
Y/n: I was taking a page from your fucking book! Last week you assholes were yelling at me for hooking up with people I know so I brought home a random for once and now you’re all acting like I committed a crime.
Dico: Fucking on a couch is a crime.
Bam: This is not helping your ‘I don’t have an exhibitionist kink’ case.
Y/n: Wow big words from you Bam.
Bam: Frantz taught me that shit.
Y/n: Well it’s not my fault you fuckers destroyed my god damn room so I have to sleep on the couch now.
Gee: Yeah sleep on the couch not fuck on it.
Y/n: Where the fucks Jess he needs to defend my honour.
Dico: Is he your next victim?
Y/n: Haha, very funny. No but seriously why were you guys barging in in the first place?!
Bam: BARGING INTO MY OWN LIVING ROOM??!!
Y/n: IT WAS LIKE FOUR FUCKING AM I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL ASLEEP!
Novak: I never sleep babe.
Y/n: Yeah cause’ you were fucking someone too.
Novak: On my own bed cause’ I’m not an animal.
Y/n: Dude you’ve fucked in dirty ass bathrooms you are one to talk.
Dico: That couch is fucking minging Y/n you’re gonna give everyone STDs.
Bam: Can we tell the listeners what actually happened now?
Dico: Yeah Y/n I’d love to know what was going through your head.
Y/n: Well there’s nothing to tell, you guys just walked in on me fucking.
Dico: It was worse than that.
Bam: No let me tell it. So we were hanging out upstairs at my house and then we were like wait where the fuck is Y/n and that guy she brought home from the bar cause’ she wasn’t in her room. Anyways, it’s pretty late at this stage but we ran out of beers so we went downstairs and what do we fucking hear?!
Novak: *claps hands*
Dico: *dramatic moaning*
Y/n: Oh god shut up.
Bam: Y/n is full on humping this lanky green bean looking dude on the couch we hang out on every fucking day!
Novak: A sight for sore eyes baby.
Y/n: I’m so fucking done with these double standards. I can’t even count on two hands the amount of times we’ve all seen Novak fucking everywhere but when I do it I’m the biggest whore?!
Bam: Are you actually pissed right now?
Y/n: You know what? Yeah! I am fucking pissed!
Dico: Well before Bam and Y/n slit each others throats Jessie Margera is here!
Jess: Did I come at the wrong time?
Y/n: Jess I’m dead fucking serious if one more person calls me a whore tonight I’m getting violent.
Novak: You gotta admit it babe, it was pretty whory.
Y/n: Alright yeah but being compared to you is where I draw the line.
Dico: Don’t get your panties in a twist.
Novak: I’ll untangle em for you aaayyooo.
Y/n: Fuck you guys.
Bam: We’ll stop slut shaming you for a minute before you fucking implode.
Y/n: Thank you.
Dico: We should read some hate mail.
Bam: Oh we’re absolutely reading hate mail I fucking love hate mail.
Y/n: I already know what this shits gonna be.
Bam: Oh my god this ones already off to a great start.
Y/n: Christ.
Bam: Bam, stop putting that little fucking slut on air. Her whorish endeavours are vomit-inducing I don’t wanna hear anymore stories about field fucking or I will cut off my ears and send them to you.
Jess: Jesus.
Bam: It gets worse. Why the fuck do you hang out with the little brat, you’re hot shit and she’s fucking everything that walks except you and Novak. At least she’s not thick enough to catch an STD from his haggard ass but I’m sure she has a whole host of them anyways.
Novak: Hey man.
Y/n: This funny to you Bam?
Bam: Hysterical.
Y/n: I thought we were done slut shaming me for today.
Dico: It’s fine you can have your knight in shining armour Dunn to shield you from it.
Y/n: Oh god shut up asshole.
Gee: Ryan?
Bam: Oh yeah isn’t he picking you up after this?
Y/n: Don’t turn this into something, we’re just gonna see a movie.
Novak: You gonna fuck in the theatre again?
Y/n: I’ll break your legs Novak.
Dico: Awooooah she’s going back to her roots.
Bam: Have you reached your quota for humping dudes and now have to go back to the ones you’ve already nailed?
Y/n: You guys are such pricks, I am single everyone!
Novak: Available but still won’t bang me.
Y/n: Yup.
Bam: Well anyways I think we should dedicate this next song to Y/n’s new and old boyfriend Mr Ryan Dunn who still won’t come on this fucking radio show.
Y/n: For good reason and he’s not my boyfriend.
Bam: This is Bloodhound Gang, Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo or just FUCK which is what you guys will be doing later on Sirius 28 Faction!
Dico: They’re gonna fuck on air?
End.
@pontiusbikini @dxckfarmdunn @steve-osahottie @gnarkillknoxville @alex-abn0rmal @stratossphere @izzaaaaaa @jackassvivalabam03 @bambammargera @spoookyberry @lovexjoe @jackussy420
#radio bam#jackass#cky#viva la bam#bam margera#cky crew#asskickedbygirl#brandon dicamillo#dico#ryan dunn#chris raab#raab himself#ryan dunn x reader#ryan dunn x f!reader#cky fic#cky ff#jackass fic#jackass fan fiction#cky fan fic#radio bam fic#bloodhound gang#ryan gee#jess margera#cky band#brandon novak
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thoughts about 2x08 - What Was Meant To Be (show + book spoilers)
Okay, I have a lot to say about this episode. Let's start at the beginning. The bit with Ishamael and Lews Therin Telamon... I mean, we all thought the fragment would be about the Breaking, right? Instead of that, we just got LTT sealing Ishy. Not a big deal, just not what I expected, but of course I'd like to see the prologue of EotW in live action, eventually. Hopefully next season?
The opening is back and I don't really get why. There didn't seem to be any visible changes to it.
The build-up of the episode is done really well. The set-up of the war of the Whites against the Seanchan, the interaction between Moiraine and Lanfear, between Lanfear and Ishamael, Egwene as part of the defense in the tower, Perrin, Elayne and Nynaeve trying to reach her and Mat being handed the dagger.
I really liked Moiraine and Lan's bit, them forming a bond again. I liked the reunion between Mat and Perrin, and between Perrin and Dain. In fact, I think I really enjoyed Perrin's storyline and that hasn't happened until now. This felt like the first time we actually saw Perrin from the books. How Geofram Bornhald kills Hopper (most heartbreaking moment for me) and how Perrin is just in rage and takes revenge for his good boy... And then the moment that Dain realizes this, wow, this was good.
They handled Mat's blowing on the Horn well enough, I think. I don't think the Heroes of the Horn looked cringy. Uno being a Hero is a creative way to keep him in the story, but yeah, to me he wasn't established well enough in the series. The thing I liked the most was Mat remembering who he actually is (and using the Old Tongue), although not enough information was given to show-only watchers.
I don't like Rand's storyline. He kills Turak without using his sword. I mean, does Rand in the show even have sword skills? I've never seen him use a sword (and I don't think he will become a Blademaster in the show). Then he gets shot by Mat's dagger spear, after which Elayne heals him (this dagger is a literal artifact of Shadar Logoth and she is not thát good at healing..), while Egwene is protecting them against Ishy (like, how?). Eventually Rand is able to stab Ishamael with his sword, but it was a small moment.
What I mean is that there were too many players in that moment (Egwene, Elayne, Nynaeve, Mat), while there should only have been Rand and Ishamael, so it doesn't feel like it is special that Rand is the Dragon Reborn. Instead, Moiraine just makes a dragon for him (that felt sad) and it feels not earned or something. Maybe Ishy and Rand fighting in the sky would have been cringy or something, but then Ishamael's defeat would have marked him the Dragon. Now, he has done almost nothing.
Sorry, I really want to like this show. I do like it, I think, just less than before this episode. I want them to show the importance of the Dragon. I want prophecies and the key moments from the books, because I think they are vital to the story.
Now another wait of 2 years, in which I'm certainly going to reread WoT. And in season 3 we are going to see a lot more Forsaken (like Moghedien, liked her performance).
#wot on prime#the wheel of time#wheel of time#wot show spoilers#wot book spoilers#wot season 2#wot s2#rand al'thor#perrin aybara#mat cauthon#ishamael#dain bornhald#moiraine damodred#lanfear#moghedien#lews therin telamon#wheel of time spoilers#wot 2x08#falme#seanchan#fantasy series#fantasy#wot spoilers#wot#episode review
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
The road home
9-1-1 ficlet | 2x03 coda | 1.3K words | rated Teen
I'm back with my little asphalt truck full of words to fill in the cracks between episodes, for @911hiatus' Week 4 prompt, "refuge." We were truly robbed (robbed!) of seeing the scene when Buck meets Chris for the first time. So here ya go: the first ever Buckley-Diaz Family Moment.
“So, you made it through your first natural disaster,” Buck says to break the silence in the car. The radio’s off, the road is practically empty by L.A. standards, and the power’s still out on a lot of blocks. Staying quiet just makes the night feel that much eerier.
Eddie huffs. “You say that like there’s going to be a lot more of them.”
Buck steers them smoothly around the curve of an offramp. Okay, maybe now isn’t the best time to suggest that disasters are going to be a regular thing, while they’re on their way to pick up Eddie’s son at his school after a big earthquake. Even though he knows Christopher is safe, Eddie’s not going to be alright until he lays eyes on his kid. Buck gets that.
“I just meant that it was an intense day for someone who’s only been on the job for a few weeks. You okay?”
“Not my first rodeo, Buck. Warzones, remember?”
Eddie’s smiling in the dark beside him, Buck can tell, which means he’s not offended. “Yeah, but earthquakes are a different kind of warzone. The only enemy here was, uh—”
“Gravity?” Eddie finishes for him.
“I was gonna say tectonic plates, but yeah, gravity was definitely working against us today.”
“That elevator, man. Crazy.”
“Pfft, yeah,” Buck agrees.
“How many disasters have you worked, exactly? You’ve only been doing this for, what, a year?”
Buck tilts his head in acknowledgement. “This would be my second. There was that plane crash last winter, the one that went down right off the beach by LAX. Not a natural disaster, obviously, but a major incident.”
“Oh, wow. That must have been something.”
“It was… pretty bad.”
Eddie doesn’t say more, and Buck thinks he’s done with this particular subject, but then he asks tentatively, “What did you do afterwards? I mean, after your shift ended? How did you deal with it?”
Buck shivers, remembering the cold water and the smell of jet fuel that clung to them all on the ride back to the station. He remembers Bobby’s uncharacteristic silence and how his own thoughts kept going back to Abby and that call she took from a passenger on the plane. She was the last person that guy talked to, a faceless voice coming through his phone, and there was nothing she could do to help him.
“I, uh, took a long, hot shower and got myself cleaned up,” Buck answers after a long pause. “And then I went home and watched TV for a few hours, I think. Sitcoms, reality shows, dumb stuff like that. Anything but the fucking news.”
“So you just try to put it out of your head as quickly as possible?” Eddie asks, sounding skeptical.
“And sleep. That helps too.” Buck grins over at him in the light of some oncoming headlights. “Isn’t that what you guys did in an actual warzone, when shit went down?”
Eddie chuckles. “Sort of. It was a little bit harder to take off the uniform and drive away from it all at the end of the day, though. And the sleeping part wasn’t always as easy, depending on where we were.”
“I bet. Hey, we’re almost there,” Buck says, bending closer to his phone to look at the GPS map. “Should I park in the lot?”
“No, just pull up to the front doors. They said they’d be waiting for me right inside.”
Buck has barely put the car in park before Eddie’s out and running towards the school. Leaning across the passenger seat, he watches Eddie’s silhouette against the brightly lit hallway beyond the glass doors, his impatient little shuffle while he waits to be buzzed in. And then he’s through and down on his knees to hug a kid who looks impossibly small next to the teacher standing there.
Buck’s throat suddenly gets tight and he blinks hard. He can almost feel the relief in that hug, the fierce love. God.
Eddie talks with the teacher for a minute, then scoops Christopher up and carries him out. Through the open window of the Jeep, Buck can hear Eddie’s voice, reassuring and cheerful, as they approach.
“Where’s your truck?” Christopher asks as his dad opens the back door and sets him into the booster seat.
“Some bricks fell off the back of the firehouse during the earthquake and broke the windshield,” Eddie explains. “I’ll have someone come fix it tomorrow, but tonight we get a chauffeur. This is Buck. He’s a firefighter, too. Buck, meet Christopher.”
Buck twists around to see into the back seat better. Christopher smiles right back at him under the dome light, all baby teeth and brown curls. Something grips the inside of Buck’s chest, both painful and sweet.
“Nice to meet you, Christopher,” he says. “One-way trip to the Diaz residence, coming right up.”
Chris cranes his neck a little to talk to Buck as Eddie gets him buckled in. “You and my dad work together? At the firehouse?”
“Yup.”
“Is he doing a good job so far?”
Eddie bursts out laughing and wraps one hand around Christopher’s head to plant a kiss on top of it. “Are you asking for my report card, kiddo? I don’t think it’s time for me to get one, just yet. And Buck’s not my captain.”
“He’s doing great,” Buck assures Christopher. “He’s taking to it like a duck to water. Just jumped right into the pond with a big splash and started swimming.”
That earns him a giggle from Christopher and a barely-concealed smile from Eddie.
Buck gets their address and they set off again. Thankfully, they don’t have far to go and none of the streets are blocked off. Christopher tells his dad about his extra-long day at school and what they got to do after the earthquake instead of their usual subjects. It sounds like the teachers pulled out all the stops to make sure the kids weren’t scared while they waited to be picked up—movies, games, and music in the gymnasium.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come get you sooner,” Eddie says over his shoulder. “There were a lot of calls coming in today.”
“It’s okay, Dad. You were helping people. And I got to make a volcano with the science teacher!”
“See?” Buck says to Eddie across the front seat. “Another natural disaster already.”
“Two in one day. I’m gonna need a few extra sitcoms tonight, I guess.”
Buck glances into the rearview mirror, where he can just see Christopher’s face in the booster seat, and tells Eddie quietly, “I think you have something better than TV to help you put the day behind you.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
Buck can tell he’s smiling again.
It’s almost 9:00 PM when they pull into Eddie’s driveway. Buck expects to reverse right back out again and make his way to Abby’s apartment, but Eddie turns to him after he shuts off the engine.
“I know it’s kind of late, but do you want to come in for a bit? I can make us something to eat after I get Chris to bed. It’s just frozen pizza, but you’d be welcome to it.”
Eddie sounds tentative, Buck thinks, maybe because he’s a little embarrassed about the pizza (which Buck would gladly devour right now), or because they don’t really know each other all that well yet. Until this morning, Buck didn’t even know he had a kid. And now here he is at the end of the same day, parked in front of Eddie’s tiny Spanish-style stucco house and being offered dinner.
“Come on,” Eddie coaxes. “It’s the least we can do to thank you for the ride.”
“Yeah, come inside,” Christopher chimes in eagerly.
Buck looks out at the house again. This is Eddie’s home and refuge, the center of his life outside the firehouse. He and Christopher are inviting Buck into their little world tonight, if only for frozen pizza. There’s a cricket singing somewhere in the bushes, and the porchlight casts a cozy, golden glow over the lawn, beckoning him.
“All right,” Buck says at last. “I will.”
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trigun Stampede Episode 5 - subtle we are not; Monev the Gale, we only knew you briefly
Another Saturday morning has come and gone here and it means the next episode of Trigun Stampede. Still pushing that breakneck pace and jamming in more world building. For this week, I’ll start with the location map highlighting that we are in the Windmill Village. Which is the remains of a crashed ship that has a lot of windmills to provide power.
The episode starts with an establishing shot of the lack of wind at the Windmill Village. A man is speaking over the radio, clearly a sort of televangelist type with the fire and brimstone sort of pseudo-Christian worship. And if you’ve watched the original Trigun anime, you will immediately recognize that the radio preacher is Wolfwood’s VA, 速水 奨, Hayami Shō, stylized as Show Hayami in English.
As his sermon continues there is a shot of two people kneeling in prayer before a sort of eye of god/cross banner in their home.
The two of them continue to listen to the broadcast, their hands clasped together and we get a shot of the younger child looking nervous before it cuts to the OP.
This opening segment establishes that there is a sort of hard line religious group and these two people are worshipping it, or at least the mother based on the awkward body language of the child.
Our next shot is of Meryl driving as a religious radio program is on the radio and she’s ready to change the station, also telling us that it is around 50 degrees C on this desert planet at the moment!
Don’t worry though, Roberto is here to info dump and tell us that the religious group around plant worship is newly established - only around for a few years in the Stampede timeline. While they discuss the social cultural context, Vash and Wolfwood are sleeping soundly, somehow Wolfwood is able to do so with a half smoked cigarette.
Since Roberto doesn’t want to really have an actual conversation with Meryl, he decides to mess with her and make up some story about the red desert sand around them - which of course scares the shit out of her and then she almost hits the carcass of a giant dead bug. Which when they inspect it, Wolfwood somehow is able to explain it was killed with a single one handed strike from a ‘person’.
Wow dude, way to try to cover that you aren’t an ‘undertaker’ and are a trained assassin. Are you even trying to blend in Wolfwood? I’m going to guess that Wolfwood likely knows who could have done this - perhaps not the specific individual but that he knows it was a modified human by the Eye of Michael.
They go onto investigate the ghost town further and conclude it died due to the lack of consistent wind. The entire exchange between Meryl and Wolfwood about it is just weird. What was the point of Wolfwood commenting that using wind power is dumb for Meryl to try to correct him that it is a flawed form of power if there is no wind?
The scientist in me has more of an issue with this set up of wind power is unreliable. If you don’t have a plant, your plan would be to have both wind power and solar. Since we don’t see any clouds at all on this desert planet. Additionally, when you do live in a desert it is almost super reliable that you will have wind power; I never got over how windy the desert is and how sunny it is when I lived in the desert. The solution for this plot point is a combination of wind and solar. You have advanced technology even if some of it is lost - you can have solar panels. Of course this then creates the issue of you need another piece of the puzzle to explain why plants are so important in this world.
It was always my understanding of the manga that besides generating power, the idea was that the plants also helped to stabilize the local environment for terraforming needs as highlighted in the anime episode and series of manga chapters around Little Arcadia (and the rest of the Nebraska family). Even if you had wind and solar power it was the extra special stuff that the plants helped to add to the local environment made it livable and arable for farming if one put in the time and effort. Little Arcadia implies that something from a plant sort of escaped into the land and the family that nurtured it were able to create a little oasis in the desert.
The group explore the area and Vash picks up a strip of cloth that is covered in dust before he’s shot at by gunfire. Someone is attacking him! Wolfwood rushes in with his weapon uncovered and yells at him to take an action.
I have to admit I’m missing the dramatic reveal of his Punisher from the original anime and manga, it always indicated that things are serious. Now, he’s just there and ready to go. The scenes keep flipping back and forth between the worried kid, Rollo and the action of the giant man in a mask with machine guns for arms. The kid overhears his mother talking with others about how he’s supposed to be the next sacrifice to god having been a child born on a windless day. Studio Orange is clear - being subtle is not their storytelling style in this. We know that young Rollo knows that he’s up next for some sort of weather/ritual sacrifice to save the town and of course he makes a run for it into the desert.
Vash gets cornered and Wolfwood shoots him only for the camera to make sure that we know that little vials inject something into him that allows for rapid healing. Wolfwood knows this man they are fighting has similar technology that he has so - yeah - it harkens back to his statement of punching the desert bug with a bare hand.
The two run away for the moment, with Wolfwood almost dragging Vash along. We get them in an alley catching their breath and Wolfwood is already insulting and muttering about how pathetic Vash is. And the fact that he knows that Vash is hiding something about this Windmill Village.
It cuts to what is for the first time clearly defined as a flashback. I get it, they wanted you to not be sure if you were seeing parallel actions between Rollo and Vash but with a heavy nudge that this is likely a flashback and that kid might have something to do with the giant monster chasing them and yelling “Vash the Stampede!”
Vash finds Rollo when he tried to run away from him and that he was bringing him back for his mother who was very worried about him. Rollo through his conversation with Vash is trying to decide if he should trust Vash’s [likely naive] advice and return to meet his fate of a certain death or continue to run.
Of course Vash is clueless to the dark sacrificial plot and instead promises that he will get the proper medicine to heal Rollo. Since this is full time perma-sad Vash, we know by time he completes his quest to save the kid, he would have arrived too late!
The flashback then has Rollo going alone with a lantern to some part of the structure where he encounters our fine Doctor, the blonde girl who is barefoot and is restrained by some sort of grunts for the Eye of Michael who knock him out with a drug.
The flashback has the girl stating that she’s not the same as Rollo, that she’s actually and angel and that he’s totally different. The statement that she’s angel would make me think plant, but the fact that she doesn’t have the weird markings on her bare arms imply that she’s not a plant like Vash and Knives but more of a rather confident girl.
Rollo gets strapped to an exam room table, injected with all sorts of stuff and the Doctor explains that he’ll age rapidly but won’t die of his sickness if he can regenerate etc etc.
And this allows us to learn he is a ‘successful’ experiment living at least 5 years as his superhuman form. The girl still thinks he’s a possible failure but the Doctor seems pleased enough and is using his hatred of Vash not saving him to drive his anger. I guess. The experiment scene also wants to hammer home that he is indeed Rollo, as at least 5 years later, he returns home to visit his mother before destroying their home which Meryl and Roberto inspect. We can hear the radio is still on with the Wolfwood VA talking while they look around. Interestingly, Roberto states it looks like this all fell apart 20 years ago.
If that is the case, the incident with Rollo running away from home and being rescued by Vash happened ~25 years prior, Rollo became his unnamed form, went back home 20 years ago, likely killed his mother and destroyed the place and then went back to the base?
While they inspect the rubble, Meryl finds a photograph of Rollo as a baby with Vash holding him that clearly his mother had taken. Thus, the timeline that Vash is older than he appears is being confirmed but with all the info dumping that Roberto does - he’d know that Vash is older wouldn’t he?
While Roberto and Meryl are being good investigative reporters Rollo is fighting with Wolfwood and Vash, but Wolfwood is looking a bit rough and spits out his cigarette to pop out his own regenerative vial as he watches Rollo pin Vash against the wall.
These vials don’t appear into Volume 8 of Trigun Maximum with a full explanation from Wolfwood after he rescues Vash from Knives ark after fighting with Chapel, Livio and Legato. This was after the 7 month time skip when Vash is kidnapped and imprisoned by Knives and Wolfwood eventually is able to brute force get him out of the ark through the combination of sheer willpower, a tacit understanding of Vash and the regenerative vials.
Vash is trying to get through to Rollo’s humanity which shows a shift as his facial display goes from Venom-ish from Spiderman to a regular man. The reason this character looks like Venom is that Yasushiro Nightow is a huge fan of Spiderman and designed him as such in the original manga. Vash is there pleading about his promise but it is obvious that he failed to save him.
Wolfwood then cracks open the vial, heals himself and then shoots Rollo through the head with the laser beam function of his gun. The scene shifts to Vash pleading for Rollo to wake up as Roberto and Meryl watch and Wolfwood hangs back. Wolfwood finally breaks the situation by stating that he’s dead and that he is not waking up. Vash rushes at Wolfwood to grab him by the collar demanding why he killed him to which Wolfwood replies with ‘Mercy.’
He goes on to further admit that Rollo had become a monster, lost his humanity and even if he didn’t kill him, the man would not return to who he was.
This the starts the first of Wolfwood’s lectures/philosophical debates with Vash about how it isn’t always possible to save everyone and not hurt them. Vash is someone who is able to say what he wants to see have happen but has no way to implement it in reality. However, since we are going at a rapid pace there has been no time for Wolfwood and Vash to get to know each other as just friends; their debate both in the anime and manga only happened after they spent some time with each other for it to really show the differences between them.
This is an even more black and white interpretation of the difference between Wolfwood and Vash. We do get excellent animation of Vash’s own shock here in his eyes which I was very impressed with. Wolfwood’s facial expressions are a bit more muted in this episode, it seems if he glances to the side that is the most he can do for any sense of remorse/frustration. Furthermore, it sort of makes it a Vash versus Wolfwood, when in reality it is Vash versus Knives with Wolfwood straddling the middle ground in life philosophy.
The group silently leave the Windmill Village as the wind begins to pick up. With the sacrificial death of the child born on a windless day, the windmills are all able to spin and begin to light up the ghost town in the night.
Back at Knives HQ, Conrad is informed of Rollo’s death by Zazie, stating that he was killed by another one of them. The blonde girl states he was Nicholas, but Conrad corrects it to the Punisher.
Which makes it clear that he was involved in the creation of Wolfwood’s current state and abilities.
The episode then ends and the credits roll. The first thing I did was double check the credits this time to confirm the blonde girl’s identity since I didn’t think to do so in other episodes if she had made a ‘hrm’ sound or not. And there at the bottom of the first page she is and she’s indeed Elendira the Crimsonnail.
So, as of this point, Elendira appears to be a young girl, but since Rollo was ‘made’ at least 25 years ago in the current timeline she can appear to be a young girl at the moment. It also looks like she will not be a trans woman either - unless we get more backstory for her.
It is clear that the terminology for the Gung-ho Guns no longer is a thing in Stampede and they are popping up in a new order.
Rollo is Monev the Gale from the manga and anime. The whole association with the Windmill Village is more than enough to make that connection as well as the events happening over 20 years ago since the original Monev was imprisoned for ~20 years by Legato. He shows up to cause total chaos in hunting Vash for Legato taking out lots of innocent bystanders in the process.
In the anime the climax of the action is when Vash shoots off his face shield and almost kills him with his hidden arm machine gun at point blank. This was such an emotional scene where it is first the we really see Vash almost lose it in the slow build up to this point.
The manga makes it even more dramatic, with the close up on Vash’s face as he holds his long colt to his face as he’d had to break his arm off to escape the handcuffs/chains.
Both tense scenes end with Vash breaking down in tears by thinking about his past relationship and conversations with Rem. With that we get the total emotional release of all of his anxiety, sadness and fears in a very cathartic scene.
What sort of hero has to hold himself in a hug as he weeps in pure frustration and loss? It really was a great reveal of how Vash’s own moral compass and code is struggling with the reality of his own circumstances and existence and he does not know what to do.
However, it doesn’t matter that Vash is compassionate and merciful to Monev, he’s eventually killed by other Gung-ho Guns several days later; crucified of course.
Things to ponder and take away from episode 5.
Honestly, I’m sort of really trying to scrape together my conclusion. In a narrative sense this episode does nothing to advance the plot. Sure, they have some themes that occur but all we did was repeat episode 4. We introduce that Wolfwood is not good and Vash is good. Wolfwood chooses violence and Vash does not. Wow.
Additionally, the lack of inner monologues and thoughts from the characters is making it harder to understand them. Apparently, we are to infer everything from these characters through their actions alone. Can a TV show do that and succeed? Yes, but Trigun Stampede is not Black Sails. The original anime and manga have a lot of inner thoughts to show the conflict and issues characters are dealing with and it is completely missing from the story telling in this anime.
Themes:
1.) Religious groups prey upon and use desperate people - this is painfully obvious the entire episode. Rollo’s unnamed mother is willing to give him up in order to save the town by bringing them wind and salvation from God. Rollo clearly is questioning his faith and runs off into the desert to save himself - by likely dying from another fate. The televangelists over the radio started more than 25 years ago and continue to do their work - though Roberto refers to them as a new cult. In the manga, we know that the ships crashed ~150 years prior to the current events and the Eye of Michael state that they are ~130 years old working in the background for most of the time humans have been struggling to survive on the planet.
It also implies that the Eye of Michael sees no issue with taking unwanted children to form them into tools to achieve their goals - though I wonder if it is actually an independent group like in the manga or something else that Knives created and set into motion in this version?
2.) A pure pacifist cannot make impactful change - Vash convinced Rollo to return to his mother and Rollo wasn’t able to verbally state his own fears to Vash dooming him to his terrible fate. Vash, you really aren’t a good listener or you can’t read people’s body language after over 100 years? Vash at least is able to fire his gun again and works hard to defensively fight Rollo shooting at buildings and structures to slow him down or distract him but by not facing him head on, he is going to lose.
3.) Sometimes you have to pick the worst option - this is shown by Wolfwood killing Rollo. Granted, since Wolfwood is on the same side, it is in his own best interest to kill Rollo to conceal his own identity - though his blunt statements aren’t really helping him to not look like an obvious assassin. This is most likely supposed to mirror the moral conflict between Vash and Wolfwood when Wolfwood shoots Zazie the Beast in the anime and Vash and him get into a very heated argument about it. We also have absolutely no context for why Vash refuses to kill in episode 5 nor why Wolfwood feels obligated to kill.
Stampede is going through the motions, using specific lines and dialogue, but it isn’t working since we really don’t get that feeling that Vash sees all life as sacred. There is no declaration of this land is made of love & peace. Or how he freaked out when he shot B.D.N.’s lackeys and had to stop them from bleeding out. The manga does a good job early on of establishing his no killing rule and the anime takes it to the next level. Meanwhile, the manga and anime establish Wolfwood as a more compassionate and complex character.
We just have very 1 dimensional characters who seem to do one thing in the plot and that’s it.
4.) The mix of Buddhist & Catholic ideology that underpinned the original work is only at a surface level - Upon my recent watching and reading of the manga, it refreshed me on how the entire series is very much using philosophical and moral arguments that are a mix of Buddhist and Catholic ones combined. There is the idea of humans by nature existing in a state of suffering and that are naturally born with sin, thus requiring a religious way to deal with that sin. That Vash struggles to live an impossible moral code and that Wolfwood has crushing Catholic guilt through his own actions and decisions to protect others. Knives is clearly a fallen angel but that Vash can’t be a hands off sort of distant angel either watching but not doing.
I’m not here to make any sort of strong religious statement, more that the original work used these to religions as the foundation for the moral and philosophical struggles that the main cast face in the story. Vash has to actually become critical of his own morals while Wolfwood sacrifices himself not only to save the orphanage but he also saves Livio. Livio then also learns that despite all the terrible things that he has done is still a person worth saving and caring for and that he too is redeemable and can be forgiven. Meryl has to learn of her fear and bias toward Vash when he protects her with his angel arm and then accept him as is. It is just all these things worked well in the story and I appreciated how they were used in the manga and original anime.
Stampede instead is adapting these concepts on the surface level. Characters are saying similar lines and doing similar actions but that doesn’t mean it replicates the original feelings.
5.) Missing those dramatic sunglasses scenes - Due to the high octane nature of the action in this sci fi series, I find myself missing the ‘I mean business when I put my sunglasses on’ scenes with both Vash and Wolfwood. Wolfwood frequently dons his own sunglasses when he has to get down to business or is trying to appear cool and collected. But when the two of them are less stressed or in non-dangerous situations, they are without their sunglasses.
Escape from Pain is an anime only episode, but it highlights how Vash did his mock kill to allow Julius and Moore to escape. Wolfwood steps on his sunglasses that Milly slapped off of his face, likely because he himself is upset that Vash upset Milly. He won’t allow Vash to put them back on to hide his own emotions and look serious when he hurt Milly’s feelings through his fake actions.
Which is then balanced out with the humor where he reaches over, grabs Vash’s gun, pops out the bullets, squeezes it to show it is a rubber bullet before he rapidly reloads it with one, and shoots Vash at point blank range.
I’ve also realized how much I liked Wolfwood’s reveal of his own personal tools in the anime. You want to take me on, allow for me to show you that I mean business.
Characters, comments & observations:
1.) Vash - continues to be passive; but finally is spurred into feeling some sort of rage when Wolfwood kills Rollo. He apparently tries to do everything himself and trusts all adults at their word. However, since this version of Monev didn’t kill and harm countless innocent people, we don’t get the full emotional breakdown of Vash. This makes it hard for us to connect with his pain and suffering that his personal code has caused him. It doesn’t make us feel how much of a struggle it is for him to continue to hold himself to his impossibly high standards. Instead, he just looks sad and passive. Furthermore, I feel the longer they don’t have him explain his moral code the more muddied it becomes; they missed their chance to have him clearly state “I will not kill!” which is sort of ironic with how blunt the story is otherwise. This also fails when Wolfwood was a priest and Vash could always give him shit with “Thou shall not kill!” and he actually did not kill.
2.) Meryl & Roberto - do their best as the senior/junior reporter team. We don’t get a lot of development from them other than that Roberto knows how to scare her and she’s decent enough to find a pristine photo of a younger Vash. They honestly don’t do anything to advance the plot since they hide during the shoot out and are both info dumping for us. I’m also starting to get tired of Roberto’s perpetually half untucked shirt look. I get it, he’s supposed to be messy but can you at least switch between it being the right side, the left side or both? Instead, it has been consistently the right side for the first 5 episodes when we know they’ve at least had time to clean up a little. This isn’t a low budget anime from the 80s and 90s where you have no choice but to animate something out of order (I’m looking at you bus in Muder Machine where Wolfwood’s cross is on the top of the bus before they pick him up in the desert).
At least the bickering between Meryl and Wolfwood is minimal at best, but they were only together for a short time during the episode.
3.) Wolfwood - is not doing a good job of hiding he’s a trained assassin with similar tools and tricks that Rollo/Monev the Gale had. We know that some religious organization that worships plants clearly recruited him as a young child and he was subjected to treatments and experiments. Hopefully, it will at least reveal that he was not directly involved with team Knives. With the obvious nature of this work, they will likely beat us over the head when we get to Wolfwood’s backstory as an orphan taken into the Eye of Michael and trained to work for them. However, since he doesn’t seem to be a compassionate and likeable guy trapped between his own unfortunate circumstances, who tried to escape his teacher and therefore those obligations it is hard to feel for him. He’s just angry, aggressive and bitter lashing out at everyone.
4.) Rollo/Monev the Gale - we only knew you briefly. This version gave us a new backstory for you. You are an explanation for Wolfwood’s own background and the technology behind the assassins. Does this work for me? Sort of. Rollo achieves the goal of being someone who knew and trusted Vash in the past to only be hurt by those actions; like Hopper the Gauntlet and Leonof the Puppet Master. But his character also has to do double duty to explain that there is biotechnology that can turn children into super killing machines by physically altering them, giving them rapid regeneration skills at the expanse of aging them quickly and we know that Wolfwood is using it as well.
What is lost in Stampede’s version is the humanity of Monev the Gale and Vash’s inner conflict to not stoop to the level of killing. Monev had no issue with killing innocents and lambasts Vash for not fighting him head on, civilians be dammed.
But it is when he’s defeated that Monev begs for his life that his humanity is shown to still be there - despite being forced to train in isolation for 20 years. Was he a deep character in the original manga or anime? No, but his own mortality and that realization of his own actions turned the tables on him showed that he still very much had basic human needs and emotions.
Instead, Wolfwood puts Rollo out of his own misery by killing him and we never get to see if he still had those human emotions only by him revealing his real face behind the mask as Vash apologizes. Which doesn’t have the punch the barrel of a gun to the eye socket does as you cry out for mercy.
My two cents on the rapidly aging sci fi aspect of the story
Anime Wolfwood was a normally aging guy who trained as a child to about adulthood before he fucked off to do his own thing for a number of years, but based on how he acts and looks it is safe to say he’s late 20s to early 30s.
Manga Wolfwood suffers from unclear retcon with a wishy washy timeline for his backstory. One reading is that he was recruited 6 years prior to the 2 year time skip - so, 4 years before the start of the manga he joined the Eye of Michael when he was 11-ish and did stuff and got shot enough to age him up to mid-20s ish when he first meets the group in the desert. This very condensed timeline for him means he dies around 17 or 18 at the end since the kids don’t recognize him. However, there are flashbacks with the young girl who Livio liked and we see her as a clear adult in the manga when Livio protects her implying that they were likely older when they entered the Eye of Michael and started the rapid aging bits. With this information it means Wolfwood and Livio are in their 20s instead. I’ve found support for both of these interpretations in the manga so I’m just not going to take one or the other and keep it unclear since it is vague.
Honestly, between these two scenarios, I preferred anime Wolfwood since his actions and words made more sense coming from a normal aging adult than a young kid who sounded so world weary at times it broke my immersion from the story when reading the manga. But that is my opinion. I’m not against the idea of him having a regeneration serum that has a karmic tradeoff. It was almost overkill when you realize he was a religiously trained gunman from a young age and trapped by his circumstances. Tug at your heart strings more that Wolfwood dies even more tragically young. . .
Anyhoo, that took me off course.
Predictions for the future:
1.) Another bad guy of the week for episode 6. Who will it be? Who knows? The introduction of all the characters is not the same as the original anime or Maximum so your best guess is as good as mine. Elendira, Zazie, Livio, Legato, Grey - any of them are possible. We still have a ways to go to reach July on that map and there is an orphanage at the halfway point. Does this mean Wolfwood will die by then?
2.) Characters likely dropped. Dominique the Cyclops, Rai-dei the Blade, Midvalley the Hornfreak. I very much liked all of them and how chaotic they were. Oh well, they would seem too campy in this sleek sci fi series.
3.) Moar action! Move frantically forward with no character development and only action. Action action action. Please let the story breathe - at least have them stop for donuts? Or have Vash mistaken for a cat? Or fight Wolfwood for spaghetti? You can’t keep up this level of depressing without some humor - that was key to the Vash-Wolfwood dynamic as well.
All in all, episode 5 was weaker than episode 4, which was weaker than the first three. This episode has not advanced the plot, explained anyone’s motivations beyond that Vash is running away and now sort of heading towards July, that Meryl and Roberto want their story and that Wolfwood has to make sure he gets there. I’m not sure who the intended audience for this is, but I’m pretty sure I’m not it.
Studio Orange continues to demonstrate extreme technical skills with their animation but the lack of a coherent understanding of narrative structure, character development and world building are killing this for me. The story lacks any sort of emotional core or heart. Just slapping a known series onto 1D characters and making them look pretty. And without character inner monologues we have to take what characters say at face value when interacting with others.
#trigun anime#trigun stampede#trigun manga#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#meryl stryfe#roberto deniro#monev the gale#rollo#elendira the crimsonnail#zazie the beast#meta#trigun stampede meta#trigun stampede episode review
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
SPOILERY thoughts on da absolution:
Mostly enjoyed, but the core dynamic in the show between Miriam/Neb/Rezaren was lacking a lot of juicy context for me.
I get why there wasn’t more - 6 half-hour episodes to reintroduce an established world with new characters and stakes and make us invested and tell a complete story? I do not envy the writers - but IMO the finale/resurrection would have hit a lot harder with just a little more time devoted to their backstory bc:
I would have felt more during Neb’s goodbye to Miriam if we had, you know... heard him speak before that moment.
We saw nothing of Miriam and Neb’s relationship. He served as a mirror for Miriam rather than a character. He was the voiceless, dead version of her that she would have become if she had remained a slave. Which is cool in its own way and adds an extra layer of creepiness to how Rezaren talks to his body, but sibling dynamics are my jam and I felt its absence :(
Rezaren’s obsession with bringing Neb and Miriam back could have been way more compelling if we saw more of their childhood! Did the twins ever love him as a brother too? It’s never addressed. For all we know it was entirely one-sided which is ALWAYS the less interesting option (give me the conflicted fucked up feelings!). Did Rezaren hate his mom as much as the twins did? There are suggestions peppered around that he did, but that’s it. Having that confirmed would have done wonders to emphasize his isolation bc he could never truly be close with the twins either.
Obviously that is all unnecessary to the story they decided to tell bc they had Rezaren take off a mask and reveal that he was just entitled garbage underneath. I’m curious if there was a longer version of the story that got hacked way down where that doesn't happen (or happen as quickly).
More important missing context:
So stay with me here. We first see Miriam seething and wanting to kill Rezaren as soon as she hears him, so you’re thinking “Oh wow! He must have done terrible things to her while she was a slave! She says he killed her family! That’s shitty!” And then... the only justification Miriam gives for hating Rezaren (before his big reveal) is that he “failed to protect” her and Neb during the harrowing, and she blames him for Neb’s death. But like... that’s not even a good reason?? He didn’t do anything malicious there at all, he just failed a ritual. Rezaren’s mom was the one to kill Neb and he wasn’t in a position to stop her.
For all we are shown, Miriam falsely associated Rezaren’s actions with those of his mother. WHY give the hero a misplaced justification to hate the villain when you’re just going to prove him to be a monster by the next scene anyway?
Basically, Miriam’s hatred implies that Rezaren was complicit in her slavery growing up but we don’t actually learn about it. I think seeing him turn a blind eye to the abuse of slaves or participating in it in some way in present day or a flashback (outside of him being a child witnessing it) would have better clued us in that he wasn’t the charming josh keaton voiced soft boi he pretended to be before making the turn from (paraphrased) “You’re my sister” to “You’re my property” a couple lines apart.
Anyway I don't hate how it was all handled I just can't help wishing for more... family drama? Instead of simple and uncomplicated master/slave drama
#rezaren#miriam#dragon age absolution spoilers#dragon age spoilers#if you read this as pro slaver rezaren im bonking you in the head with a shoe#he is no blorbo of mine#but id be into any rewrite of his character in a heartbeat#just dear god keep it platonic#meta
88 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
