Oh. having a bad time.

im so fucking useless

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

out of all of ur ocs I’m still Wyatt’s #1 fan,,, holds all of my nonexistent wyatt merch…. But all of ur ocs are so great and I e loved seeing ur art evolve over the like. oh my god it’s been like a decade almost NDKENDOROANDOE scary

wyatt u will always be famous and the original fan favorite... honestly i wish i cld control what my brain fixated on bc i do want to bring her back for a bit since her and talon are the same breed of person (they're both cats.) and they wld have some good interactions! ive thought of two good ones and a text post one inspired one and i wanna see if i can be motivated to doodle em soon if at all lolll ^_^ havent drawn her in a while so im rusty but:

(also thank u for sticking around ^_^)

soft pretty bob jakey bc i’ve been having a tough week and i miss him :-( 🩷

every day I see another post all like "butches can love pink and wear makeup and have long hair and be feminine in various ways!!! Dont assume someone isnt butch because they dont look butch" and it's like. ok whatever they can call themselves butch ig but in that case I'm going to need a new word to describe the particular kind of fucked up dyke I am who Looks And Acts This Very Specific Way On Purpose.

every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.

I need to see more chubby and trans scar please I can't keep trying to make everything all on my own oughhhh I wanna see more of himmmmmmm

wip wednesday

tagged by @jesuisici33 @callaplums @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie 💖💖

made a bit of progress on the sick fic so here it is🤷

prev snippet

___

“Maybe we should get you to a doctor.” Buck muses, wrapping the blanket over Eddie’s shoulders.

“I don’t need- I just closed my eyes for a second. I’m fine.” he grumbles, fumbling with the blanket too long to want to actually throw it off, but he does in the end – he’s cold and refuses to admit it, and he’d rather sit here and pretend he’s fine. He’s impossible.

“Eddie, that cough did not sound fine.” he points out. 

“Buck-” he sneezes, and then wraps the sleeves of his hoodie over his palms. Buck raises his eyebrow, and Eddie pointedly avoids his eyes, as he not-so-discreetly wipes his nose with a sleeve. 

“I bought tissues.” Buck reaches for the bag and digs out a box, then tries to give it to Eddie, who, instead of taking it, just levels him with a stare, as he sniffles loudly, and swipes a sleeve under his nose again. “Seriously? You’re gonna be gross and disgusting just to prove you’re not sick?” That’s a new level of stubborn Buck hasn’t seen from Eddie yet. He can’t believe this is the man his heart decided it wants. And that even while sick and gross and stubborn and ridiculous, a part of Buck is still endeared by him.

“I’m not.” Eddie insists, sounding so congested Buck swears he can feel it in his own sinuses. “Let me just finish my coffee, and then I-” another sneeze. “Have so much to do today.” he finishes, but at least this time he reaches for the tissues, looking anywhere but at Buck, cheeks red.

“Yeah, no, all you’re gonna do today is rest and take some medicine.” Buck says decisively, then takes the bag in his hand, and slowly starts walking to the kitchen. “Get comfortable, and I’ll just put this all away and be right back. I bought meds, tissues, and something to cook you some soup-” he starts listing off, getting louder the further he gets. “Oh, and stopped by the farmer’s market to get honey. Did you know that honey has antioxidant and antibacterial properties?” he asks excitedly, ready to tell Eddie every single thing he found in his quick research. Buck learned a long time ago that with Eddie he doesn’t need to hold back and can rant and ramble all he wants, and Eddie is happy to listen to him.

“Yeah?” Eddie yells back, voice hoarse and strained. Buck can hear the couch shift as Eddie gets comfortable, maybe even finally lays down. He knows Eddie won’t just give in and admit he’s sick, but this is a start. “Why don’t you tell me all about it?” he sounds genuinely interested, though also really tired. 

“I will, just a sec! I’ll make you some tea with lemon and honey, how’s that sound?” he asks, and gets a grunt in response, though he’s not sure if that’s an answer, or if Eddie’s just trying to suppress a cough in an attempt to hide that he’s sick, as if Buck didn’t already know. He chuckles to himself. He really has his work cut out for him today.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck @spotsandsocks

i'm. sobbing [x]

paramedic/EMT dick is so good omg :o i hadn’t thought about that one

i have seen social worker dick which also felt really appropriate (also love that for jason) but!!! EMT actually feels like it works better to me???

thank u for putting that thought in my head~

ahhhhhhh!! i am so ecstatic i could put the thought of emt/paramedic!dick in your head hehehehe

paramedic!dick is so special to me<3 it very much i think hits what dick needs and wants out of his civilian life but also directly influences his vigilantism too

my main three takeaways are these:

it's a highly rewarding but deeply traumatizing career and it scratches his innate need to help people without violence & fear

it's a little bit more training than a police officer but i think covers a field of knowledge dick knows but doesn't know intimately like he does criminal justice or law. it would also benefit his "night" job to be more equipped to handle traumatic injuries

ems schedules are chaotic and all over the place especially if the garage is down a paramedic or ALS provider or just overall understaffed but the overall structure of it would be good for dick (if he can balance his work-vigilantism life healthily, depending on how you write him)

Yeah I couldn't help myself, I bought LaLa this month for Kyousou Silent ("Madness Silent" per the English title on the colour page). I don't think the 55-page length gave it enough space to really explore anything beyond the basics of the setting, which is a shame because the setting is probably the most interesting element at play here.

Which isn't to say the rest of it is bad, it's a rollicking little short honestly, but I reeeeeeeally want it to get picked up for serialisation so we can get into more of the 1920s setting stuff.

For now though, Rio is the stand-out of the two leads (no shocks there, I've always found Fujiwara's heroines far more compelling than her heroes) and I absolutely adore her hairstyle. She's a plucky girl with a dream, Hollywood! Watch out!

Jack is a bit more muted, he's got that aloof air since he's already a success and Rio gets under his skin almost immediately (a feeling which is quite mutual, for different reasons). An interesting enough dynamic evolves between the two, but as it's a short story things wrap up fairly quickly once they get started.

Overall, worth the 5 bucks or whatever LaLa costs these days. I've got my fingers crossed that this story strikes a chord with LaLa's readers and gets to be a series, but if it doesn't I'll still be happy I took the time to read about these characters in this brief format.

Most of the time, I don’t have a clue.

Normal People - Season 1, Episode 2

you are so fucking right about babies. baby naps are hardcore the most cutest naps ever. i love babies i feel like that’s an unpopular around here but they’re just so cute. anyway real footage of me anytime i see a baby

REALLLL ME TOOOO!!! I’m always just like. holy shit a baby. holy shit ur so small. dude I hate to alarm you but um. did u know ur so small. like. are you aware that you are in fact just a little guy. itty bitty even. and the baby’s just like: 👁👄👁

anyways this is a real image of me at work every Saturday

Strain switches Yata and Fushimi's personalities. They're aware of it and tries to act the same but can't. Like Yata can't help but be easily annoyed and pessimistic while Fushimi becomes kind of loud and has trouble keeping his feelings hidden or something. They hate it but it takes a while for the effect to go away. At the same time, they end up getting a bit better understanding of each other.

I like the idea that this doesn’t change who they fundamentally are it just changes the way they express themselves, like Yata suddenly has issues being honest and keeps seeing the bad side of things while Fushimi can’t control his emotions like he usually does and just keeps blurting out whatever he feels. Imagine this post-ROK, Yata and Fushimi have like just decided to start living together again. They think it’ll be easy, just like old times, but it’s actually kinda awkward and difficult because they’ve both changed as people. Fushimi can’t stop himself from thinking that somehow things are going to turn bad again while Yata keeps relapsing into assuming things and has to stop himself and be sure he asks Fushimi clearly instead.

Maybe they end up having a small fight while out chasing a Strain, both complaining that the other is exhausting. That’s when they get hit by the marriage counseling personality switch Strain. After the Strain flees Yata finds himself clicking his tongue in annoyance at being jumped while Fushimi is immediately like get back here you useless asshole and let us kick your ass. They both pause and exchange looks, Yata’s like ‘…you are Saruhiko, right?’ and Fushimi’s like ‘are you okay, Misaki?’. Fushimi ends up calling S4 and finds out about the personality switch thing. He hangs up all annoyed, complaining loudly about how this is going to be so inconvenient, while Yata just huffs and clicks his tongue again. 

So now they have to navigate this new personality swap and I like the idea that they’re both kinda surprised at how many emotions the other person has. Like Fushimi of course feels it most visibly, normally he keeps a tight hold on all his emotions and now he’s suddenly blurting out everything he thinks. I imagine he’d find this really annoying, like imagine Hidaka helps him with something and before he can stop himself Fushimi smiles and sincerely thanks him. Hidaka is over the moon while Fushimi is tripping over himself trying to walk back that sincere praise he just gave. Meanwhile Yata is struggling because he absolutely wants to express himself but the words won’t come out, like he just feels on edge thinking if he says things honestly there will be negative consequences. I could see him really having issues at his job too and he has to take some days off, because his boss isn’t happy that Yata’s gone from being this eager friendly employee to someone who doesn’t even seem to be enjoying it when he’s helping teach the kids. 

Eventually they both get home later in the day and they’re both exhausted. Fushimi says he doesn’t get how Yata just…says things, all the time, like it’s so tiring and strange to be able to just say what you feel. Yata’s quiet and then he leans into Fushimi and asks if this really is what it’s like to be Fushimi, always on a knife’s edge like this. Fushimi says it is and then looks annoyed, he didn’t want to say that out loud. Yata says he’s sorry he didn’t realize it and Fushimi says he didn’t know it was like this for Yata either, how it can be hard to be honest all the time with your heart on your sleeve. He says maybe it’s a good thing that they got to see things from the other person’s side for once and Yata smiles softly as he nods, it’s hard but at the same time he’s realized how much more relaxed he feels at Fushimi’s side and it occurs to him — this is how Fushimi feels around Yata, and once Yata can stop the voices in his head from yelling he’s going to make sure Fushimi knows it will always be safe by his side.