#with the way pre sales gone I can see this happening
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I think I’ve seen this film before
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candy prompts: leviathan + spicy + spooky
leviathan is your biggest fan. he doesn't realize that you're his biggest fan too.
pairing: leviathan x siren!gn!reader
content: nsfw. monster!au (reader is a siren). leviathan has two cocks. implied oral sex (levi receiving).
word count: 1k omg how did this happen
a/n: I like to imagine that aquatic races of the devildom worship and totally want to bang the grand admiral.
This isn't the way tonight's backstage meet & greet with one of his favourite idols was supposed to go.
Levi bought the most exclusive package as soon as the pre-sale link arrived in his Dmail. On the day of the concert, he put on a t-shirt featuring your logo, and he even shrugged on the new zip-up hoodie that he bought in the VIP section before the show. He waited in line with the other backstage pass holders so he could get an autograph and photo with you. Some of the lust demons in line ahead of him were radiating pheromones so strongly that it made his mind groggy, and he shook his head to dissipate the fog of giddy excitement that permeated the air around him.
When it was finally his turn to see you, the other fans had already been escorted away by security. He glanced at you nervously from under the hood he pulled over his head to conceal his identity; it wasn't a secret that the Avatar of Envy was a fan of Devildom's top idols, but he didn't like the unwanted attention from randoms in the crowd.
He handed you his poster and backstage pass to sign and he hoped the tremor in his hands wasn't too noticeable. The black marker squeaked against the thick paper and plastic. You smiled at all your other fans earlier, but even from his place at the back of the line, Levi thought your smile looked forced and insincere. He would know-he's forced that same expression on his own face countless times.
"Th-thanks," he mumbled when you handed him his autographed merch. He cradled them delicately in his arms so that they wouldn't get wrinkled or torn.
"Fans can get a selfie too," you reminded him with a gentle smile. "But maybe we can find a nicer backdrop than this grungy hallway. What do you say?"
Levi glanced around nervously. The security crew that loitered in the area earlier had vanished. There was something enticing about the teasing glint in your eyes but he blinked and the look was gone. He took a deep breath, not realizing how close he was standing to you. When did you get so close? The scent of your fragrance and sweat was staggering and he forced himself to stand still and avoid the temptation to lean even closer. He hesitated for only a moment before nodding.
You beamed wildly and grabbed his hand; he gulped as your fangs tipped over the curve of your lips. "Perfect," you purred before leading him down a dark hallway. "My dressing room is this way."
You were kind enough to take his precious memorabilia and set them down safely before shoving him against your dressing room door. Your lips crashed against his while your hands reached into his sweat-slicked hair. You slid the hood down and cradled his jaw so you could tease the skin of his neck with your fingernails. He broke the kiss with a gasp, and you didn't hesitate to slip your tongue into his mouth and flick it against his before pulling back with a very satisfied smirk.
"I recognized you the moment you stood in line," you admitted, voice quivering with excitement, glassy-eyed and pupils blown wide. "The Avatar of Envy, the Grand Admiral himself, coming to see me perform? I'm flattered."
Levi stared at you like he was seeing you for the first time. Maybe he was seeing the real you for the first time, the version none of your other fans knew existed. In the privacy of your dressing room you could finally be yourself. The magic that concealed your oceanic heritage slid off you like a veil and revealed your secrets to the demon you worshipped like a god. He was entranced. When he licked his lips to chase the taste of your kiss, it reminded him of salt water and the ocean breeze.
You preened under his curious scrutiny, satisfied that he was captivated by you as much as you were of him. When you realized you had his silent approval to continue, you unzipped his sweater and pushed it down his arms. It fell into a heap on the floor at his feet, but he didn't seem to care.
By the time you settled on your knees before him, the delicate pattern of pearlescent scales replaced your once-smooth skin and frilly gills appeared on the sides of your neck. You gazed at him innocently, your third eyelid blinking quickly over your lovestruck eyes as you nuzzled against the bulge in his jeans. Dainty fingers with long nails flicked open the button at his waistband. You bit your bottom lip between rows of jagged teeth and eagerly tugged down the short zipper next. Both his cocks sprung free when you slid his boxers down. He was panting heavily above you, and you licked your lips with a forked tongue, smirking when his eyes followed the movement.
"I've wanted to meet you in person for so long, sir," you whispered reverently. His cocks twitched when your lips imbued his title with just a hint of lust, and you couldn't resist the urge to touch him anymore. You kissed the tip of one of his cocks and smeared precum across your mouth with a satisfied hum, lapping at the salty taste as your mouth watered, eager for another taste. One of your hands curled delicately around the other cock and squeezed him lightly in your grip. He moaned loudly when your webbed fingers began stroking him in a soft, slick rhythm.
"I think I might be your biggest fan," you confessed in a breathy whisper before closing your eyes and finally taking his cock into your mouth.
read more: halloween 2023 masterlist || obey me masterlist
#obey me#obey me leviathan#obey me leviathan x reader#leviathan x reader#leviathan smut#obey me smut#obey me x reader#x reader#gn!reader#cw monsterfucking#trick or treat 2023
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Stonecatcher
Chapter Two: It's Strange What Desire Will Make Foolish People Do
Din Djarin x OFC Athalia (Second Person POV)
Artwork: The Lovers by René Magritte Gif: @cherubispunk
Series Masterlist | Series Playlist | Din Djarin Masterlist
Series summary: An up-and-coming bounty hunter and a promising arms dealer cross paths on Dantooine. What starts as a business relationship quickly becomes more. How long can you bury your emotions and be a stonecatcher for someone else before you finally snap?
Series warnings: pre season one of The Mandalorian, instant smut but slow burn romantically, Athalia is able-bodied but other than that has no physical description, angst
Chapter summary: The Mandalorian returns, leaving with more than just a blaster, of course.
Word count: 2.7k
Chapter warnings: finger sucking, dirty talk, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie
It’s been a few weeks since you’ve seen the Mandalorian. You remember that night fondly but not because of the sex. No, you remember that night fondly because of the sale you made. It was your first sale to someone not local to here. While it was only an eight-credit sale, you had to start somewhere.
Business has been doing good, though. For some strange reason, Casia has seen an influx of travelers lately. The inn has no vacancy and the cantina is busier than ever. Sheva’s been working more hours to accommodate the boom in customers, which leaves you to your own devices. And while you do miss spending time with her you also haven’t had much to think about it. With the amount of people passing through you’ve been able to make even more sales, and gain more inventory. Mando was just the beginning.
To capitalize on all of the business Casia has been seeing, the cantina is having an event tonight. String lights hang from the roof and tables are set outside. It’s a bit of a risk having the outside by the river instead of inside the cantina. But it was all intentional.
You’re helping Sheva put wildflowers in vases for the party, sitting at a table by the water's edge. It’s golden hour and the party is set to begin at sundown. It’s the first quality time you’ve had with Sheva in a while and she’s catching you up on her escapades over the past few weeks.
“I told him to meet me out back after my shift was done,” she says, putting together another vase.
“Well, did he?”
“He did,” she says suggestively.
“You never told me what he looked like.”
“What does it matter? He’s long gone now.”
“Was he a Twi’lek?”
“Maybe…”
Maybe it’s the scenery and or the fact that you’re reconnecting with her, but either way, you’re feeling grateful about where you are for once. It almost feels like everything is falling into place on its own time.
“You and your Twi’leks,” you joke, getting up and setting a vase on each table.
“Oh yeah?? How about you and your Mandalorians,” she retorts.
“That was one time.”
“You never told me how that was by the way,” standing up from her seat and placing a hand on her hip.
“I didn’t?”
“No, you just told me that he bought a scope and then you had sex.”
“That’s basically what happened.”
“…But how was it?” she says.
“Hot… but also kind of awkward. That’s usually how one-night stands tend to go,” you say, setting a vase on the last table.
“And you’re okay with that? I didn’t take you for a one-night stand type of gal.”
“I mean… I’ll never see him again.”
She’s standing in front of you, the river behind her and the wind catching her hair. She doesn’t respond to you right away, looking past your head and wearing a smirk.
“What is it?”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Sure about what?”
“Turn around.”
You glance over your shoulder to find him, walking towards you. The sunset reflects off his helmet and the scene is almost… surreal. You were just talking about him and all of a sudden he appears. It’s like a scene straight out of a romance novel.
Until he opens his mouth.
“I went to your house and I couldn’t find you. I need something else.”
“…Okay? What is it that you need?”
“A blaster.”
“Alright…” you say, turning back to Sheva, “I’ll be back later, I guess.”
“Have so much fun,” she says smugly, waving at Mando.
You walk back to your house side by side, silence hanging in the air which leaves you with your thoughts.
Why is he here?
Dantooine is on a trade route but the planet itself is out of the way and so is Casia.
“Why are you here?” you ask.
“I already told you. I need a blaster.”
“You can’t get that anywhere else?”
“Are you saying you don’t want my business?”
“No, I’m not saying that at all. I’m just wondering why you came here specifically. Where are you from?”
“Currently I’m on Nevarro.”
Maker, that’s far. It doesn’t make sense for him to come all this way for a blaster.
…Unless he came here for other reasons.
You think back to the one-night stand and while it was a little awkward it was still hot. Maybe he feels the same way.
“That’s quite a ways away from here, Mando,” you point out.
“Your prices are fair.”
“Right…” you say, opening your front door.
Luckily, the smell of gas has dissipated over the past few weeks. Not that it mattered to him. But if this encounter is going to end like the last one, it’s nice to not have to smell that while Mando’s pounding the living daylights out of you.
Your front room is crowded, filled with boxes and all sorts of weapons lining the walls. He looks all around the room, not sure what to focus on first.
“I’ve… accumulated a lot more stuff since you’ve been here.”
“I see that,” he says.
“What kind of blaster are you looking for?”
“Standard pistol.”
“Gotcha,” you say, searching one of your shelves. You find one he might like– black with a tiny amount of silver. You grab it off the shelf and turn around to show him.
“How’s this one?”
“Perfect. How much.”
“Four hundred credits.”
“Not a bad deal,” he says, taking it in his hands. He examines the blaster carefully, the orange fingertips of his gloves running up and down the barrel. His hand wraps around the grip with his finger ghosting the trigger. He aims it at the wall, and for some reason, this is doing something for you. Is this how he felt when he watched you clean his rifle?
“Feels good?”
“Feels good,” he affirms.
“Okay…” you start as he attaches it to his belt, “Do you need anything else?”
“Actually,” he says, helmet snapping back to you, “Do you have any of that… oil you used on my rifle?”
“Wow. Are you actually going to clean your shit?”
“…Yes.”
“You don’t want me to do it for you?”
He shifts his weight between both feet just like he did the last time he was here, fidgeting while he thinks of a comeback. But his mind draws a blank. Instead, he sighs and says, “Just get on your back already.”
Your mouth falls open but you can’t let him know of your bewilderment. So you quickly say, “Thought you’d never ask.”
You turn on your heel and lead him to your bedroom, swaying your hips as you walk. He wastes no time, grabbing you by the waist and pushing you down on the bed. You help him out, pulling off your underwear for him. He hesitates for a moment and you just assume it’ll be the same as last time, you spit into your hand and he shoves his cock inside you.
But this time he stands by the bed, hands on his hips, and says, “Get up.”
“…Okay?” you say, wondering where he’s going with this.
He grabs your waist again and turns you around so your back is towards him.
“Bend over,” he growls in your ear.
So that’s how this is going to go.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” you say, bending over your bed for him and turning your head to the side, cheek resting against the mattress.
He hikes up your skirt and caresses your ass with his gloved hand. Just when you think you know how this is going to shake out, he surprises you.
He tosses his glove beside your head and it takes a second for you to register that he took his glove off. Your mouth falls open and he mutters, “Good girl.”
He leans forward, bending over you, and says, “Close your eyes.”
You do as you’re told, closing your eyes while his gloved hand grips your chin, keeping your mouth open while he places two fingers inside.
“Suck,” he commands, closing your mouth shut around his fingers.
Kriff, that’s hot.
You swirl your tongue around his fingers, putting on an obscene performance. And although you can’t see it, he cocks his helmet to the side, watching you act like such a good girl for him. Once he decides you’ve done enough, he pulls his fingers from your mouth. You make sure to keep your eyes closed as you anticipate what he’s going to do next.
His fingers tease your entrance, softly playing with you until he slides both of them inside you. You gasp at the sudden girth, taking a second to get adjusted.
“If you can take my cock, you can take two of my fingers,” he reminds you, curling his fingers against your walls.
“I-I know,” you breathe out, voice high pitched.
He’s incredibly skilled with his fingers. You’re already on your way to your first orgasm. It makes sense since he can’t take his helmet off. And you’re certainly not complaining.
The tension built up in your core spills over and your release gushes out of you, running down your thighs. Waves of pleasure course throughout your body and you’re shocked at how soon he got you there.
He pulls his fingers from you, grabbing your shoulder with his other hand. You feel his cock enter you, splitting you open and leaving you writhing. His other hand grabs your waist as he fucks you like you’re nothing but a toy to him, an object made for his pleasure. Except the way he fingered you tells you otherwise.
You’re too cock drunk to formulate a coherent thought about that. Instead, you focus on the immense pleasure you’re feeling. Everything from the tips of your ears to your toes feels like they’re set aflame, mind going fuzzy with nothing but thoughts of him.
“That’s right. Take my cock like a good girl,” he says, voice all sultry and modulated.
You whimper in response, the words you were going to say caught in your throat and coming out as mangled sobs. His grip on your shoulder tightens, holding you in place as he rails you. Stars dance in the black backdrop of your closed eyes, tears would surely spill over if you opened them. But he said to keep your eyes closed and you intend to listen to him. He didn’t ask you to do that last time. Could it be because his glove came off? Because he revealed his skin? You’ve seen his cock but for some reason his hand is off-limits. How strange. The added element of anonymity during a time so intimate excites you. It only makes you grow wetter; more aroused.
Before you know it, you’re coming again. This orgasm is deeper and stronger than the first one, all thanks to his impressive size. Your cunt clenches and releases his cock in a way that triggers his orgasm too. He holds you steady as he spills his cum inside you, a feeling you didn’t know you missed in his absence, a feeling you didn’t know you’d ever experience again.
He pulls out of you when he’s done and it isn’t until you feel him sit on the bed beside you that you open your eyes. His glove is back on his hand and he sits with his thighs spread wide, a space that looks so inviting to sit. He takes a moment to rest after the energy he just exerted before rising, waiting for you to pull yourself together.
You stand before him, smoothing down your skirt while looking at anything but the visor of his helmet. He stands stiff as a board, hands balled up into fists at his sides. A thought crosses your mind. You could ask him to join you at the party at the cantina. It seems kind of pointless considering he can’t eat or drink in front of others. And he doesn’t seem like one for dancing.
But you want to ask him just so you can be seen out in public with him, other than bringing him to your house. That feels a little insane, a little possessive even. You’re not in any sort of relationship. You’ve only had sex twice now. And you’re developing an inkling of feelings. This can’t be good.
Come on, Athalia. You can ask him.
“What are you doing now?”
“Probably heading out soon.”
“I was just wondering if…” you trail off.
He tilts his helmet, looking directly at you. You finally meet his visor, taking a deep breath and asking, “Do you want to come to the party at the cantina tonight?”
“That’s a nice offer. But no thanks.”
“That’s okay…”
He turns to leave but you can’t let him go just yet.
“Wait! Can I ask you something?”
“What is it?”
“Why did you come all the way here? You could’ve gotten that blaster anywhere.”
“Your prices seemed fair. It looks like it was worth it, too. Your inventory has grown.”
“Right… Let me get you that cleansing oil before you go.”
You slide past him in the door frame, heart fluttering at being so close to him yet again. His visor watches you the whole time and you imagine it’s still fixated on you as you lead him to the front room. You open the cabinet and grab the cleansing oil while he fishes for the credits in his pocket.
“How much?”
“Ten for the oil.”
You turn around and hand it to him. He places the credits for both the blaster and the oil in your hand, nodding at you with the slight tip of his helmet before walking to the door.
But he stops himself before he leaves. He turns around and says, “I never got your name.”
“Athalia.”
“Thanks. I’ve got some contacts looking to come this way but I wasn’t sure who they should be asking for.”
New customers.
“That’s nice of you!” you say, fiddling with your hands, “I guess you could call it… Athalia’s Arms.”
“Athalia’s Arms… Got it. I’m sure we’ll meet again,” he says, before opening the door and setting off into the night, cape billowing in the wind.
He claims he was just here to buy something but… Could that be a lie? Is he feeling an inkling of something more like you are? He did turn down your offer to go to the party tonight but if it were really just about the blasters, wouldn’t he have gotten that literally anywhere else? Coming here must’ve cost him so much in fuel.
Maybe just maybe there’s something there, crossing the line between a business owner and customer relationship, turning into something deeper and more meaningful.
That’s exactly what’s happening. Because deep down you’re a little butthurt that he didn’t say yes to the party, that he didn’t even stay with you for a little bit after the sex.
You shouldn’t care. He’s just a client, just a customer… Right?
Wrong, he was never just a customer. He was always something more and he’ll remain something more if you don’t put a stop to it before you only get yourself hurt.
You need to talk to Sheva about this, so you decide to pop back into the party alone. It’s well past sundown now and it makes you wonder how long you were with Mando. There’s a breeze in the air that leaves goosebumps on your skin and there’s not a single soul around.
As you get closer to the cantina you see that… the party’s over. Everyone has left.
For once, you don’t want to be alone and yet it’s like the universe is forcing you to. Sheva’s either at home sleeping or hooking up with someone from the party. And Sulee has been in bed for hours at this point.
You sigh and turn around to head home, head hanging low while you’re left to reflect. He crossed the galaxy to buy a standard blaster and to bury his cock inside you. And that just has to mean something.
Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics
Tag list: @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @freelancearsonist @djarins-cyare @survivingandenduring @littlegrungegirlaf @pamasaur @chiyo13 @pedrostories @schnarfer @burntheedges
#stonecatcher#din djarin smut#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin x oc#din djarin x original female character#din djarin x ofc#din djarin x you#din djarin#the mandalorian#the mandalorian fanfiction#the mandalorian smut#star wars fanfiction#the mandalorian x oc
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I'm tired.
I contacted a Blizzard WoW GameMaster to help me with my battletag. One letter was supposed to be capitalized but I found out that it wasn't. So I simply wanted the letter changed.
And GameMaster Mia, as sweet as she was, said something to me that took the wind out of my sails.
She congratulated me for being in WoW for 16 years. The truth is, I've been in WoW since launch. I don't know why they didn't have that on file, but I've been there from the beginning.
I've been to many different servers from pve, pvp, rp, and even rp-pvp. And while I loved the game, I began to hate the way the community has festered to shit. Moon Guard has gone down to the dumps, and I've been on Moon Guard for over a decade to see it happen. I've been on WoW for longer than some of my haters have been born. That's not a compliment. I think that's actually very pathetic of me. And I said to everyone around me that I want to quit WoW. But my guild members keep reasoning with me to stay. So I do.
But after the nonsense I am going through, I might just stick to raiding exclusively, or I might quit WoW altogether. Normally when an expansion is announced, I would get it day 1 it is on sale. BfA I got the day I could pre-order it. But when Shadowlands was available for pre-order, I got it about 2 months later. Dragonflight was 1 week before the expansion actually launched. And now, I haven't pre-ordered The War Within at all...and I don't think I will.
WoW doesn't do it for me anymore. My daughter is about to be a grown woman, and I'm excited to see where life takes her. I'm scared to have her leave the nest, but I know it is inevitable. Society has grown so apathetic, and I don't like the way people treat each other. However people treat me doesn't bother me, but the way players treat each other so cruel without a second thought, as well as how many people think in such a way as they do is disgusting and beneath my morals.
When I hear that I've been banned from this group, that group, this venue, that venue, all because they don't want to communicate with me about what is REALLY going on, I laugh. Their bans doesn't effect me because I don't even want to be here. I've been on WoW and wanted to leave WoW before these groups and organizations even existed! I did great without them back then and I can actually do even better without them now. But I am having serious problems with convincing myself to keep co-existing in a "community" that is only a community by name and false compassionate activities that are circulated like semi-recreational drugs.
So after this nonsense involving Xyzis is done, this might be my time to ride off in the sunset. I can't guarantee leaving but I can't guarantee staying, either.
"If that's what you have in mind
If that's what you're all about
Good luck movin' up
'Cause I'm moving out"
--Billy Joel.
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Space Channel 5 Part 2: Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book p. 048-053 (Translation by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)
Second part of Report 2
Imgur link to all of the Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book translations we’ve done thus far.
Plain text below.
p. 48
Space Park · Fountain Square A
Dancing
Ulala’s Hearts: 17
Moving on to Fountain Square, ugh, there she is…This is where you start the guitar duel with Pudding from Channel 42. The hidden input spot is right when she introduces herself. She say's "It's me, Pudding." You have to time it right at the "it's" and you'll get it.
Pine’s Comment
The newsflash mentions to press the down button to play the guitar, but really, any directional button will do. You can see this with Pudding, she uses up, left, and right to move around while playing the guitar. Honestly, there's no need to imitate her. It's all up to you, if you care about keeping up appearances or not.
“Good evening, everybody, it’s me, Pudding!”
10. Guitar Playing
37 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
38 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
39 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
40 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
11.
41 x x x
42 o o o
43 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ x x x
44 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ o o o
45 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ x x o
-
Groovemaster 2000
044
Meow Meow Meow
p. 49
12.
46 x x x
47 o o o
48 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ x x x
49 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ o o o o
50 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ o
13. Guitar Playing
51 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
52 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
53 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
54 x x x o
55 ⬇ ⬇
56 ⬇ ⬇
57 x o
58 o x
59 ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇
60 x x x x o
61 ⬇ ⬇
62 ⬇
63 ⬇ ⬇
64 ⬇ ⬇
Pine’s Comment
Some sets have the commands come at you in rapid succession. It’s hard to keep track of all the inputs needed, so be sure to check out how many here.
“I quit!”
-
Groovemaster 2000
045
Meow
p. 50
Space Park · Fountain Square B
Shooting
Ulala’s Hearts: 10
With Pudding gone, the Space Bird Mistress appears on the stage. She has a lovely singing voice, but it’s a tad difficult to hear, so you’ll have to rely on your eyes along with your ears. Also, the last "Whoo!" at the end has another secret input spot. Though, it's a little different from the previous "Whoo!"s.
“They're forcing me to dance~”
14.
65 🠬 x 🠩 x 🠮 x
66 🠮 x 🠩 x 🠬 o
67 🠩 o 🠬 x 🠮 o
68 🠮 x 🠬 x 🠩 o
15.
69 🠩 o 🠮 x 🠬 o
70 🠬 x 🠮 o
71 🠮 o 🠬 x
72 🠮 x 🠬 o 🠩 o
Rescue
080: Space Park Staff Worker
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Filthy Groove
046
Up Left Right Down Meow Meow Meow
p. 51
16.
73 🠩 🠮 x
74 🠩 🠬 x
75 🠩 🠬 o
76 🠩 🠮 o
17.
77 🠮 🠬 x
78 🠮 🠬 x
79 🠮 🠬 x
80 🠩 o
Rescue
047: Birdman 1
048: Birdman 2
049: Birdman 3
050: Birdman 4
051: Birdman 5
046: Space Bird Mistress
Whoo [7]
-
Filthy Groove
047
Up Left Right Down Meooow Meow
p. 52
Space Park · Fountain Square C
Finale!
Ulala’s Hearts: 1
“Don’t ask why, just strike a pose!”
Left! Right! Up!
Staaaay Chirp [8]
-
Filthy Groove
048
Meooow Meooow Meooow Meow
p. 53
Reference Material:
Direct Hit Interview with Pres. Peace, Pre-incident ~Pudding, Interview with the Space President~
Pudding: Good afternoon everybody, it's me Pudding!
Peace: Good afternoon everybody. It's me Space President Peace~.
Pudding: Hello, hello people. Let's start right away with the questions. You use your singing voice to spread happiness around the galaxy, but for what reason? Do you do it for the quid pro quo, or any other ambition in mind?
Peace: No, no, not at all. I simply want to make the entire universe happy with my singing voice, that's the greatest reward I ever ask for.
Pudding: Ooh, you know, you sound like a certain salesman from 500 years ago. Very similar.
Peace: Ohohohoho! Speaking of sales, there’s manga out now that has my official President-Peace seal of approval (serious)."
Pudding: Oh, is that so? But you're not that pushy and guilt-trippy about your merch, unlike certain salespeople. You're, like, the complete opposite.
Peace: Ohohohoho! I guess that's what happens when you compare a president to a salesman.
Pudding: By the way Mr. Peace, how did you get your singing voice? I heard it can "bring tears to even those with the coldest of hearts," how did you even train for that?
Peace: How? Hohoho, I was born with this voice. Ah, but if I had to guess, I'd say the thought of 'being kind to people,' having that sort of drive, is what improved my singing. Other than that… it might be the result of me drinking so much space alkaline ionic water.
Pudding: Last question. Mr. Peace, do you have a type?
Peace: Ohohohoho! I belong to the whole universe, I can't dedicate myself to just one person. Regardless of gender, whether it's an insect, a flower, or plankton, everyone and everything is deserving of my love.
-
Filthy Groove
049
Meooow Meow Meow Meow
#space channel 5#pudding#Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book#president peace#Space Channel 5 part 2#translations
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make this inn our own: the lost years
note: I wrote this out while I was working on make this inn our own as a way to get the timeline right in my head. in the end, a lot of this information makes it into the fic itself, but I figured I'd post this in case anyone wanted to read it! you could read this without reading the fic, but note that there are some spoilers ahead! nothing that I think would ruin the fic if you choose to read this first, but it will remove some of the fun surprises I've thrown in for you as readers. either way, hope you enjoy!!
Steve leaves Hawkins right after he graduates high school. His dad drags him out of town one day early in the summer, literally the night before he’s supposed to start his new job at Scoops Ahoy. Steve begs to stay, wants to be around the kids just in case something else happens like it had in the fall even though they’re all pretty sure it’s over and they’re safe now. But he can’t say that to Richard, and Steve might be eighteen but he sure won’t make enough money at his mall job to pay for rent. What’s he going to do? Sleep in the Wheeler’s groddy basement? Absolutely not. Richard sells the beemer, sells the house, and packs his family off and away to the big apple.
Steve gets a job at Richard’s office, and puts his head down, and tries to convince himself everyone will be better off without him.
Dustin calls to yell, and Steve doesn’t call back. It hurts too much.
Robin Buckley starts at Scoops, and Steve Harrington’s name is on the schedule. He never shows up for training, and her manager grumbles and complains about spoiled rich kids and offers the job to the next teenager who shows up with a resume.
That teenager happens to be one Eddie Munson, who is already two senior years failed and in desperate need of more money to fund his D&D habit. He’s selling drugs by now, a little here and there, but Wayne told him to go and try to be respectable for once.
He almost quits when he sees the uniform, but no one else would hire a metalhead freak, so he sucks it up.
Dustin shows up after camp looking for Steve, and is devastated when Robin has no idea where he went. But Eddie spots his walkie, asks some questions, gets him to open up. Finally, Dustin, having no idea where his best friend has disappeared off to (he bikes to the Harringtons, it’s empty with a For Sale sign on the lawn) asks Robin and Eddie to help him crack the Russian code.
Eddie’s the one who recognizes the music, mostly because he’d been trying to make a mix tape in a back hallway at the mall and the stupid ride kept interrupting his recordings, even though he’s no use at any of the Russian stuff.
Dustin recruits Erica, the four break into the base, and Eddie learns much earlier that even though he’s a fucking coward, he knows how to plant his feet and stay when his friends need him. He doesn’t know when Band Girl Buckley and pre-freshman-dork-Dustin become his friends, but he throws himself in front of a Russian guard to save them, and knows he’d have done a lot more than that if he needed to.
Robin comes out to Eddie on the mall bathroom floor, and Eddie laughs and comes out right back, telling her about his embarassing crush: Steve Harrington.
He was supposed to work here, Robin says, with a snort and a laugh. Can you even imagine, Steve Harrington fighting off Russian Guards?
And that’s hilarious in it’s own right, but then Eddie remembers the uniform, and pictures golden boy Stevie in the tiny shorts, and, well.
Yeah, that crush maybe wasn’t as dead as he thought it was. Not like it matters, because as he’s heard over and over from Dustin, Steve Harrington is long gone and never coming back.
Still, Robin and Eddie are attached at the hip almost immediately. It’s pretty monumental, finding someone else who gets you in a way no one else ever has, in this small town in the middle of nowhere.
(And it’s monumental too, when Robin takes Eddie to the evening group at the Carnation Inn, the one for people like them, and like the Inn’s owners, who want to give them somewhere they can be safe and themselves, and Eddie finally gets to see that all that crap about highschool being the best time of your life? Absolute bullshit. There is a whole world out there waiting, ready with open arms, and god, he can’t wait to get to it.)
Robin won’t go to Hellfire, and Eddie won’t go to pep rallies to watch her play, but they eat lunch together a few times a week when they’re both free. They trade barbs and jokes and shout about their wildly different music tastes (“Madonna, Blondie, Bowie—that’s MUSIC, Eddie!” “If you would just LISTEN TO HOLY DIVER you would UNDERSTAND!”), argue about who has worse fashion sense (Eddie) and taste in crushes (Robin), and shoot each other looks across the cafeteria, when one of those respective crushes sits just a little too close. Robin hangs around him in the woods while he deals, and she’s terrible for business because she literally never shuts up, but it doesn’t matter. Finally, Eddie has a friend who gets him in a way his Coffin members want to but don’t, and that’s worth every lost sale in the world.
(Plus, Robin had gotten them jobs at Family Video after the whole Starcourt disaster, so he’s got enough cash coming in that he doesn’t even really need to be selling anymore, and that’s kind of nice too.)
One day, early spring, head cheerleader Chrissy Cunningham finds them in the woods. She’s nervous and shaky, twitchy and constantly looking over her shoulder. She tries to buy weed, or something stronger, and Eddie and Robin exchange glances and try to calm her down, and then offer to bring her back to Eddie’s trailer after school and get high with her, so she doesn’t have to be alone.
Robin finds her in the bathroom, after their next class, puking her guts up and sobbing in the stall, and holds her hair and rubs her back through it. And Chrissy spills everything, tells Robin about the headaches and the nosebleeds and the nausea and the Jason of it all, and the goddamn lights flicker and Robin jumps into action immediately.
Because, like, first of all, Robin’s pretty sure the nausea isn’t upside down related. Pretty sure that’s a Jason Carver problem (definitely not one that should be solved with a mild acid trip) and that would be big enough on its own, but then lights and the nosebleeds?
Robin and Eddie make a plan: Chrissy can’t be in Hawkins if she’s connected to the Upside Down but doesn’t know it yet. Whatever is going on, whatever’s about to happen (and fuck, did they think they were over this, but apparently not) hits too close to home to the D&D campaign Eddie’s been working on, and even though he still hasn’t managed to figure out that whole part of all of this nonsense, he thinks their best shot is to get Chrissy the fuck out of dodge, just in case it’s another possession situation.
Instead of taking her to the trailer park, they go to the Inn. Otis Harrington clocks the problem immediately, at least, the Jason half of it, and promises Robin and Eddie he can help. He calls his grandson, estranged but still a good kid and around Chrissy’s age, and then he calls his travel agent. And then he drives the three teens to the airport in Indianapolis, and puts Chrissy on a flight. Steve has a good job, an apartment, and the heart to take in someone who has nowhere else to go.
Otis knows she’ll be safe there.
And she is. Steve picks her up at the airport and moves her into his guest room. It takes them time, figuring each other out, but when Chrissy finally comes to terms with what’s going on, Steve isn’t going anywhere. All he ever wanted was six kids and a winnebago, and this one might not technically be his by genetics, but she’s his in everything else that matters. He loves Chrissy too, but like the sister he never had. They cling to each other at night, when the nightmares get too strong, whisper about the things they saw in the dark. They raise a kid, a little girl they name Vanessa but call Ness, because she was a little monster as a baby and sometimes nicknames just stick.
Steve is happy with his little family. Still works for his dad. Keeps his head down. But he calls Otis every month, now, never talking about the reason why Richard broke contact. Never crossing a line that becomes a wall around a tough time, instead forging ahead with a new relationship, careful and precious, but only ever in the periphery.
Robin and Eddie make it back to Hawkins, and they don’t realize they’ve saved two lives. But they’re on alert, more prepared when they find Fred Benson’s broken body halfway between the school and the trailer park, and they jump into the action again, barely stopping to look back.
Code Red, baby, they know the drill.
Jason Carver, now missing his girlfriend, starts a witch hunt. Another kid on the team saw Chrissy getting into Eddie’s van, the day she disappeared, and he tries to convince the town Eddie’s behind it. But Robin was there too, and she has some social standing, and Otis has his own connections to the Sherriff’s department, and eventually Jason is the only one riled up to try to do anything about it.
One boy isn’t nearly as scary as a whole gang of them.
Without Steve, with Eddie more involved, without the feral gang of basketball players, some things go better and some things go worse. Eddie has more ideas about how to defeat Vecna, because he isn’t traumatized, and he knows the song and dance a bit. Lucas swims down to the gate with Eddie and Robin and Nancy, because he has the best lungs. He comes out scarred (physically and mentally) but mostly alright.
In the second half of the plan, Jason still shows up at the Creel house, still tries to kill Lucas, but Erica manages a rescue call and Dustin scrambles in as back up with a second boombox just in time. They save Max somewhere between her losing her sight and dying.
Eddie sets up a tape, as a distraction, because he needs to stay with Robin to fight Vecna.
It works pretty damn well.
But Vecna has a bit more time, this time. Max has her tapes, and Lucas is pretty safe in himself even after his brush with death, but Jason is an easy target now, paranoid and desperate. Vecna snaps him like a twig, and then Nancy starts hearing chimes too. Still, Robin and Eddie and Nancy make it to the Creel house, and Nancy and Jason were enough of a distraction to buy El enough time, and this time: they win.
They crawl out of hell, closer still, clinging to each other. Max has a long road to recovery but she’s always been a stubborn fighter.
Nancy signs them all up for therapy, and no one knows how to say no to her, and they all won’t admit it but thank fucking god for therapy.
And then things, slowly, go back to normal. Eddie settles down to work for Wayne’s new home improvement company and builds himself a cottage on the shore of Lover's Lake, so he can keep an eye out for anything suspicious. He'd wanted to see the world, but now he can't imagine being anywhere but here. Someone has to stand sentry, and he knows it has to be him.
Robin tries to leave for school but the nightmares keep her up and the thought of being away from her family hurts too much and it’s not long before she’s back in Hawkins, apprenticing with a local electrician before taking up with Eddie and Wayne. Eddie doesn't say it much, but she comes back just as the kids are planning to all leave, and he's never been more relieved to not have to be alone in his life.
Everything settles down, for the next ten years.
Until Steve inherits the Carnation Inn, and finds himself back in the place he knows he never should have left.
That’s where our story starts and the rest, as they say, is history.
#hallmark au#make this inn our own#the lost years#i debated posting this but had a request on the fic since I did say I would so! here you go!#like I said most of it actually got covered in the fic but#having it written out like this really helped me so i hope yall enjoy it#stranger things#pre-steddie#i guess?#i would just read the fic if i were you hahaha
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Do you think K-pop concert ticket prices are too expensive now? What do you think should be the threshold, and what can be done to give all fans, whether casual or diehard, a great experience?
I could go on an entire rant/tangent on what I think concerts as a whole should be like, but it would be the length of a regular fic, so I'll spare you every issue and thought I have about them. I've only been to one concert in my whole life, so I don't have the experience or depth that other concertgoers have, but let's just say the streaming and COVID economy fucked up everything.
Prices: I believe the terrible royalties from streaming, as well as the increased demand for live shows in general has caused these ticket prices to skyrocket. Like you can't just buy a ticket for a decent seat for less than $70 now, that shit only gives you nosebleed seats. Not to mention the deliberate collusion of scalpers by ticketing sites. Those resale tickets and third parties directly cooperate with Ticketmaster so they can punch a bit more money from consumers. And don't even get me started with Dynamic Pricing and those terrible service fees. I'm fortunate enough to live in a country where such things don't exist, but with HYBE openly expressing their intention to enable dynamic pricing and finding alternatives in places where it's not available, you can bet they'll find a way to punch up the prices too.
I understand why they charge this much. Fans will go out to see their favorite artist, regardless of how much they complain about it. FOMO. You don't know if they'll come back to your country or city, or when. Not to mention, the typical K-pop concert is a much grander production than, say, your average pop star. You got backup dancers, large stages, numerous costume changes, sometimes a live band, and of course, multiple members with dozens of staff managing a group. Concerts are the biggest revenue/income drive now for a majority of artists because of how music is distributed today, so they have to break even. Doing world tours are costly; consider the VISA and other costs on a country-to-country basis. No wonder they'd rather tour the US and Japan only to save a few thousand dollars.
It's difficult to gauge the threshold because popularity and demand is fickle, especially in K-pop. However, if there has to be a limit, I personally would stop at around $1000-sub range. There's not a damn singer or artist on planet earth, dead or alive, that's worth over a $1000 ticket. Even MJ. The economy isn't looking good, inflation keeps jumping year by year, and concerts have become basically rich people havens too.
Personally, I do think it'll eventually die out. There's a touring oversaturation right now that it dries people out and we have to pick and choose who we want to attend.
There's a few things I really want to see happen in the future, ideally:
• Rookies shouldn't be pricier than their seniors. I don't care if its NewJeans, IVE, or Le sserafim, they really shouldn't be more expensive than say, a 3-4 year old group. It's ridiculous how NMIXX and IVE were more expensive than The Boyz or ATEEZ.
• Announcing ticket sale literally right after the tour announcement. This is something I absolutely hate. Why are you selling tickets for a show six-eight months away like two weeks after announcing it? Fucking insane! It gives us little to no prep time to gather up resources and plan accordingly. Also, what if something happens that causes a concert to be canceled or delayed? It'll be much harder for us to get refunds back, which is exactly why they pull this shit off. Normalize selling tickets at most two months-a month before the show.
• Make the ticket prices worth it. This is my biggest gripe with concerts, more than the prices: that you're basically paying for the seats and nothing else. I'm not gonna lie, I likely wouldn't have gone out to my one and only concert if I wasn't guaranteed anything else besides a nice seat. Pre-pandemic, the price of the ticket I bought would have given me a group/solo pic with the group and some other cool perks like maybe signed merch. Now? Most concerts give you the show and nothing more. You have to justify paying that hefty tag beyond just a close view of your favorite artist. I remember when pop stars like Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, and The Weeknd had photo-ops before the show for those VIP tivkets. COVID ruined all of that. It's such a damn shame, because at best, you're getting soundcheck, which I'm not fond of, in my opinion. It forces people to bait for interactions and not enjoy themselves during the show cuz they aren't guaranteed artist engagement (though this won't really change anything if we're being real lol). I personally would be a lot more comfortable and have a greater time if I knew I could greet them before or after the show instead of trying too hard to get their attention.
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Pirate Month!: Pirates!: Adventures with Scientists (Band of Misfits) Review!: Release The British Cut (Commison for WeirdKev27)
Come aboard all ye happy swabs, i’m yer Captain Jake and this is Pirate Month, where I review a bunch of the finest works to sale the seven seas.
And while Darkwing Dubloon got us kicked off, it’s now time to sale right and proper with what i’ve found on rewatch to be a true classic: Pirates; An Adventure with Scientests! Or as it was known here in the US, Pirates: Band of Misfits.
Pirates is the fifth film from beloved animation studio Aardman and isn’t he first film i’ve covered of theres on there blog, as last year I did a Wallace and Gromit retrospective, cumulating in Curse of the Were-Rabbit, which is excellent. And since Kev, my patron turned friend who still pays me money to review things was the one behind that, it was only a matter of time before I came back, and gladly as i’ve always loved Aardman and remembered liking what I saw of this films when my niece and nibling got it when they were young. So I was happy to give it another look.
Before I can get into what I thought about it (aka what I was paid for and frankly would’ve done for free but mans gotta eat), a bit of backstory: For starters to my shock Pirates is actually based on a book of the same name, starting a whole SERIES by author Gideon DaFoe who wrote the script for the movie on top of this. Had I known this I would’ve tired to get and read the book beforehand, so as a result I can’t say how it stacks as an adaptation. I can say however that, in part due to having the authors input and clearly loving said source material it seems in the same spirit: Madcap adventures with pirates following the daft Pirate Captain (which everyone uses as if it was his name) and his crew of ham loving pirates who don’t really have names just descrptions such as number 2, albino pirate, and suprsiingly curvacious pirate (aka a woman whose only disguise is a fake bushy beard), who get into shenanigans. In short just from what I could find out about the book and the other books, it was PERFECT material for Aardman to adapt.
It was also something they’d wanted to do fairly quick as the book came out in 2004 and was what the crew wanted to do as their next film at Dreamworks after Curse of the Were-Rabbit. And Jeffrey Katzenberg’s response?
Yeah Jeff’s justification was that “Pirate movies just aren’t profitable right now” Given this was after Pirates of The Carribean had been a MASSIVE sleeper hit for disney and was on track to have two sequels which would end up being monster hits, I can only guess that his real justification was ‘I’M NOT GIVING THOSE GREASY BASTARDS THE SATSIFACTION OF COPYING THEM. I’LL SHOW THEM BY NOT MAKING MONEY. SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT”. Which somehow ISN’T the dumbest corprate decision i’ve read about in the past week, but only because Warner Bros just torched a film people woul’dve gladly seen for a tax writeoff and still hasn’t backed down from this monumentally dumbass and not remotely seen as smart decsion, so it kinda came in at a bad week.
SHOCKINGLY their partnership with Dreamworks only lasted through flushed away after this kind of sterling decision, so they went to Sony next, pre-knowing what they were doing with animation so it only lasted Arthur Christmas, another film I need to cover sometime, and this flim.
That said even if the Pirates of The Caribbiean craze was gone, Sony still smartly backed the studio who knew better than them, so this flim happened. Production was apparently really smooth, with Aardman taking their cg knowledge to the film, allowing them to do a film with water and on boats like this FAR easier than in the past. Hence the water in the film is cg and some of the sets were expanded with it. And i’m entirley okay with this: I’m sure some claymation purists aren’t, but sometimes there’s only SO FAR you can go with a medium budget and time wise, and it’s done in a way that I GENINELY thought the water was done with stop motion. And even once I knew otherwise., I still couldn’t tell looking at the sets and water that it wasn’t stop motion. I’ts blended perfectly and thus allows the film to be as grand and swashbuckling as it should be.
That said a good production... didn’t translate to good box office. It did eh in the united states. I think part of this is the title as in the US we got band of misfits which isn’t bad, it’s an apt title, but it’s just not as inherently funny as “In an adventure with scientests” and was bafflingly changed because the books weren’t as big here.. forgetting that an adaptation of books can MAKE the books big. I didn’t even know Over the Hedge existed before the movie, and i’m a huge comic strip nerd, and How to Train Your Dragon, while being vastly diffrent from the books, still got them to sell and wider distribution.
IT also probably dosen’t hlep that for older fans they cut a lot of risque jokes from the film. I watched the UK cut this go round, which I want to get a wider release as it’s REALLY funny, and it does have some adult jokes such as Charles Darwin outright mentiong his monkey bob’s “Unsightly ass” and a scientest promoting an airship , which would change travel, as really being the best because you can look down ladies tops (which Charles confirms later). It also weirdly swapped out the actors for Albino pirate for no real reason.
But honestly while it had those things working against it.. what ultimately doomed it was opening between avengers and hunger games. In short.. it was SONY’S fault, not the films. Even edited down, it simply coudln’t compete with the two biggest films of the year, and thus Sony ended the partnership and Aardman has gone mostly independent, most recently partnering with Netflix, which has me worried given how the last few partnerships went and Netflix current state, but hopefully it pans out. That said provided Sony no longer has the rights to the books, it does mean since their making plenty of sequels out of the gate, we have a chance at a sequel for this film, as Aardman DID have one planned and there are plenty of nutty adventures from the books to adapt in addition to the adventures with cowboys idea: they adventure with captain ahab, mary shelley and COMMUNISTS. Yes there really is an adventure with communists including Karl Marks. I REALLY gotta get my hands on these books because hot damn this is amazing and deserves a tv series. Or a series of movies. Just aardman, somehow continue this. I beg you.
Before we get into why i’m begging them, we have one last bit of buisness to cover for those unlucky souls who haven’t seen the movie and those of you who like me hadn’t seen it in a decade and thus don’t remember it that well.
Pirates follows Pirate Captain, played by Hugh Grant whose easily the best part of this flim. And keep in mind the voice cast ofr this flim is NOT remotely shallow: We have Martin Freeman as Number Two (Aka Pirate with a Scarf) Pirate Captain’s oft ignored and frustrated #2, Imelda Staunton flexing her Umbridge Muscles (While I may be frosty towards harry potter for obvious TERF shaped reasons, I won’t deny that her performance in the film was fucking pitch perfect and she’s pretty much playing umbridge as the queen of england here, same mixture of sometines going full ham mixed with icy could authortanisim with a sugary hint of malice), David Fucking Tennant in one of his earlier VA rolls as Charles Darwin, the wonderful Selma Hayek in a sadly short roll as Cutlass LIz, extra shouty king of kings BRIAN BELSSED as The Pirate King, and in the US Cut, the late great Anton Yelchen. Add in some great UK voices I don’t recognize in name but do a great job, with my faviotie being the equally underultizied pegleg hastings by Lenny Henry and scottishy Ashely Jennings as Suprisingly Curvacious Pirate, and you have one hell of a cast and Grant still tops them.
Grant plays Pirate Captain to the hilt, playing him as on the surface a jolly swashbuckler with a sense of gravitas, a mastery of disguise, and a flair.. while also being a bit impulsive, rekckless, egotistical and his most crippling selfish, putting his desire for Pirate Of the Year over common sense, which he has little of to begin with and often taking his second for granted, to Number Two’s frustration.
You also see though WHY he wants this so bad: the three front runners, Liz, Hastings and “Sigh” Black Belamy. Black Belamy is played by Jeremy Piven, and he broes it up to hell and back and it just does not FIT at all. Aardman is a very british company and while I don’t have anything against using a yank actor if it’s for contrast like say casting future abuser and anti-semite mel gibson as Rocky in Chicken Run,. As TERRIBLE as that turned out in hindsight, which to Aardman and Dreamworks credit they coudln’t of possibly seen coming, casting a big time american actory to play a very american rooster, who deliberatley contrasts the very british hens, works. Their TRYING to do that here, but it just dosen’t work, as while Vance Waggoner was set up as a kind of 50′s rockstar to contrast the 40′s setting... Belamy however is just...
That’s all. He’s the weakest part of the film as a result and feels very much like he was added soley because Sony wanted a bigger name in the cast.
So to one up Black Bodyspray, Pirate Captain tries looting a few ships to hilarious but unfruitful results. One was SUPPOSED to be a leper colony, but was changed to plauge boat as Aardman got backlash from the Leper Community, which they, like myself, likely didn’t realise still exist and I salute them for taking a backlash like that and changing it instead of just you know screaming NO YOUR WRONG like many often do. Aardman is a class act and while it was a low bar they cleared it.
Thankfully he gets thrown a bone as the next boat, while not having treasure, contains Charles freaking Darwin. And i’ve glossed over it till now, but yes, a CRITICAL character in this film is Charles Darwin. And as I said this was not only in the book, if in a diffrent form judging from wikipedia but spirals from mildly rediculous here to metting Karl Marks and the Captain romancing Mary Shelley.
And given the books are fairly cheap, I will defintely be keeping an eye out for them at bookstores and possibly reviewing them in the future because they sound delightful as they are ridiculous.
Darwin nearly walks the plank because the Captain needs a pick me up after throwing a Tommy Wiseau style tantrum, but Darwin saves his own life, and gets drudged out of the sea after Suprisingly Curvacious PIrate jumps the gun and sends him overboard, by spotting Polly.. and revealing she’s a Dodo. The captain is understandably not receptive to showing her off at the science expo, not helped by it being in London, home of the Queen who hates pirates as much as the Marines in One PIece and is just as harsh towards them. But the promise of Untold Riches means the Captain decideds fuck it and they head to London. Darwin serves as the antagonist for this portion as the untold riches end up being an audience with the queen, and as such he keeps trying to either take Pirate Captain’s place or outright steal Polly for himself, being foiled by the fact that Pirate Captain is only HALF as stupid as he seems and thus either has clever counters to any way Darwin could present the bhird himsef, without realizing it no less, and foils a kidnapping attempt. I mean he’s still stubborn enough and stupid enough he can’t put two and two together that Charles wants the bird, to Number Two’s utter exasperation, but give him credit: Just because he’s an idiot dosne’t mean he’s not an experinced one as seen with refrences to previous adventures, from librarians to barbarians to that buisness in madagascar with an old pal they find hanging in a cage as a warning to pirates.
Naturally said prize leads to Pirate Captain being discovered after he refuses to hand over Polly to the queen as she’s family... for now, and only escapes decaptatation because he hid the parrot, with the queen leaving it to Darwin to steal the bird. We also get a great scene of Darwing taking the captain, who was publicly pardoned, out , including Captain talking about who would win in a fight between a shark and a dracula and instructing Jane Austen to write it into her next book. God I would pay to see that. Also for the record since i’m nerdy, as for who would win: Using a regular vampire and a regular shark, a shark as most vampires can’t cross water and thus likely if pushed will sink. If it’s Dracula versus, let’s say Jaws to make it a fair fight as Jaws is both a big boy and more intellegent than a regular shark, if not thatna dracula, it’s a bhit more complicated as Dracula can shapeshift, so he may be able to become a shark himself, or simply turn into a fish after using his vampire powers on him. He coudln’t really use wolf form or mist obviously because water, but I do feel Dracula would win as he could lure jaws to land and simply get in his mouth via a smaller transfomratoin then turn bigger and tear up his insides, or tear his ass to pieces with pure strength and skill then shark his way up to the surface.
Now we’ve covered the subject of Dracula fighting Jaws, and given Universal a VERY easy pitch for a jaws and dracula reboot, especially if Dracula rides Jaws at some point, Darwin says to hell with subtley and just tries to have his monkey Bobo threaten him at gunpoint. And Bobo is delight, a silent chimp who uses cards to talk, having to use one in lower caps to whisper and when noping out later leaving a trail of cards saying “Are you out of your #$@#%$ minds?”.
A chase ensues which ends up with them in the tower of london and in front of the queen who literally dumps poor charles. We even get a great bit where Captain undrestands doing crazy shit for a girl.. though is UTTERLY baffled in Charles lack of taste.
But soon is tempted by the ultimate shortcut to everything he wants: a shit ton of the queens gold in exchange for Polly.. and he gives her up, as he feels she’ll be fine. It’s also well done as while the protaganist doing something terrible and then it backfiring horribly for a short term gain is usualy in these movies this has been well set up: The captain has time and again chosen his own glory over the logical solution or his crew’s well being, and while it’s clear he loves them, it’s also clear he loves himself more and when choosing between the crew member he loves most (sorry Number Two) and his glory.. he picks the glory and looses everything: He has pirate of the year for all of a minute before Bellamy outs his pardon and BRIAN BLESSED STRIPS HIS TITLES, and the rest of the crew sadly abandon him. Even the use of the utterly great Flight of the Conchords song i’m not crying can’t undercut how sad it is. Again this is a pretty usual plot beat for a film.. but it’s been building all film. The pirate captain had been pushing his crew, just enough to make us not hate him but to be annoyed at him all the same, and they finally had enough. The captain, left with nothing and retiring to make baby clothes (And seeing Jane Austen hook up with the Elephant Man which is a crack ship I ddin’t know I needed), sees a sign of polly and realizes he NEEDS to save her.
The bad news, as Charles, now a “tramp”, horrifiedly relays is that Polly has been taken from the Zoo.. by the queen. As he found out shortly after being dumped into the trash, literally, and as made him realize what a selfish horny ass he’d been (Charles can be a bit annoying at times i’ll admit but suffers enough slapstick especially in the last act to punish him for his actions, so it evf3ens out), as it turns out the Queen just wants to eat Polly and is part of a cabal of world leaders who secretly eat endangered species. And i’d honestly be shocked if there wreen’t a club like that back then let alone in present day.
So the two go to steal the air ship to look down ladies tops save polly, and we get a heck of a third act as Uncle Sam reprsents america at the club. Yes really. It’s so stujpid I of course love it, stage a daring rescue and we get a GENUINELY tense fight between Captain and the Queen, who fucking dual wields. Thankfully darwin got the crew, who forgive captain since he’s making up for his actoins and they win the day, with The Queen ultimately sent away on a blimp while our heroes regain polly.
As a result all ends well for our heroes: The captain is given the highest bounty ever of 100,000 pounds and is left a world fugivitive, and as a result is not only welcomed back into pirate town, as seen thorugh a bunch of credits scenes set to you can get it if you really want, but is happier that way. Darwin heads to the galapagos and possibly finds love, Bobo stays with the crew and Black Broddude gets his trophy taken by Brain Blessed and his magical flying clamshell. The rest of the credits rock out to the utterly awesome song Alright by Supergrass which fun fact, lives in my head rent free thanks to these credits and did so at the time of the film.
So as you could probably guess I REALLY loved this film and the plot isn’t at all that serious and follows a pretty basic plot structure.. but it works because it’s just so damn creative and funny. It just throws tons of jokes at you, almost all of them clever ,and never really lets up for a moment. As a result there were WAY too many moments to recap here, from the Pirate Of the Year awards having BRIAN BLESSED as a vocal volume, to the mad scientest with a rubix cube who just throws it at the wall, to the ladies tops bit, there’s just so much here it’s great. The writing is witty, rapid fire and unabashidley ludcrious, not carring for period accuracy or common sense, just what’s funny and the actors all deliver it well.. again except piven. It’s the same kind of very british style as wallace and gromit but where as those films are subdued, this one goes full tilt bonkers and it works.
Animation wise it may be Ardman’s Prettiest Film and despite it having been years since they got to do a stop motion feature, they hadn’t missed a step: The anmiation is agonizlingly gorgeous, goofy enough to fit the tone but still beautiful and painstaking and in such a high resolution you can see it quite clearly how beautiful it looks. It’s the sum total of their efforts
So yeah... WATCH THIS FILM. It’s currently not streaming but can be gotten on amazon on dvd and on most digital platforms, and while that’s the us verison it at least has
So it’s not all bad. Find this film however you can and watch it. And if you enjoyed this review consider joining my patreon, dming me for my discord or following for more and see you tommorow for Muppet Treasure Island!
#pirates! in an adventure with scientests#pirates band of misfits#hugh grant#aardman#David Tennant#selma hayek#imelda staunton#BRIAN BLESSED#sony pictures animation
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Hey! I really like your posts about sasusaku and your interpretation of their relationship, it’s very similar with the way that I understand them, too. I’d like to know what are your thoughts about how their dynamic could have been on shippuden, since we had such few scenes between them, and what kind of scenes you would have added, maybe (aside from the fight scene that we all know should have absolutely happened, but the world was not ready and kishimoto was too much of a coward, I’m never forgiving him for that 😭)
First of all, thank you anon for this great ask! You have great taste ;). All of my ss posts are essentially my sleep-deprived thoughts typed on my tumblr screen because i use this site as my wip list :) It's great to see someone understand my incoherent wordings.
I'll keep the rest under the cut:
The problem with sasusaku is not a problem with the ship, but the deep rooted issue with kishi (derogatory) nerfing his own characters and throwing away their growth. As great of an artist he is, he's awful at execution of anything that requires extensive thinking. Add the underlying sexism (Japanese sexism to be exact) and you get the clusterfuck i.e., sasusaku.
I am a bit harsh on him when I can admit it must have been tiring to continue with this shitshow for ages especially when the publishers catering to the dudebros were pushing for better sales. If you compare early shippuden era to the later one, you'll be surprised at the lack of resemblance between the vibes. It's not easy being a famous manga artist of an anime like Naruto and I do hold some sympathy.
However, kishi is severely at fault over the romances in the manga. For someone boasting about bonds, the bonds between males and females conjured nothing but laughter.
Now, I'll be honest: I like sasuke and sakura before I like sasusaku and that's the entire reason why I started shipping them in the first place. Their characters are so complex and unlike Naruto, they don't shed these complexities in a last bid effort to be some sort of a savior.
I think a lot of people misunderstand both sakura and sasuke mostly because they don't look beneath the fact that she's a healer and he's an avenger. I find that interpretation weak and boring. Sasusaku is interesting to me because it's an unexplored story. Imagine taking a book out of the library, a rusty book with a solid spine, and when you open it, you find a delicious story that captures your heart. You turn it over for more only to find pages ripped off. Not all the pages are gone, but enough that you start finishing that book in your head, a lack of closure haunting you. That, my friend, is Sasusaku at its core.
It's soft yet cruel and we see them succumb to their worst demons and still you don't forget the only heartfelt apology bestowed upon to the person you've tried to kill. It's delicious!
I don't have any complaints about genin!sasusaku. They peaked there as a pairing. It was a perfect ending and while I have loads of thoughts on Sakura's character pre-timeskip, she was painfully human and normal.
Post-timeskip is... tricky. The problem I think resides with the lack of inner monologues given to Sasuke. It's almost like the creator doesn't know what he's thinking. While Sasuke doesn't hide behind lies, he keeps his cards close to his heart. As the story progressed, this got worse and I think this big mistake caused the entire series to suffer.
Dudebros might have been happy with Sasuke, but I wanted more Sasuke himself and less other's interpretations of Sasuke. I think that's why I prefer Sakura's interpretation of Sasuke: there's something honest and open about how she sees him. She loves him yet she doesn't hide him behind fllowery language.
Shippuden could have been a lot better if Sasuke's thoughts were shown. Continuously, I felt like the creator was trying to delude him because Itachi was a monster and he loved Sasuke, and according to the morals of Naruto, those two can't coexist. I would have dropped the entire Kaguya storyline and focused more on Sakura's role in the village.
Okay, okay, another pet peeve of mine: I hate it when Naruto is told to be Sasuke's brother. One of the best things Naruto gave me was the bond these two shared. Assigning labels cheapen them and while assigning labels to Sasuke's relationship with Sakura would have made SS far more exciting, Naruto and his relationship suffered for it. As a result, I also hate the reincarnation as brothers thing.
You know what I would have liked? Sakura taking up the position of a Senju in the story. Naruto doesn't need a half-assed Senju storyline when he already deals with his mom's Uzumaki heritage. Sakura, on the other hand, would have been perfect for it.
Until Itachi's death, there's no change. After, Madara informs Sasuke and starts spewing shit about Senju. Imagine Madara telling him that the current Hokage should be displaced. And then you can have an epic fight between SS (btw Sakura will lose unless Sasuke is at a disadvantage. As much as I love my girl, Sasuke is a better fighter. Sakura's skills are more in the research and healing department and as great as she is, she hasn't trained for revenge.)
I have loads of ideas lmao but a fight and Sakura's involvement with the corruption are two things I think would have made the series much more sensible and better. Oh and I would have removed the second confession scene and the subsequent genjutsu. Like only keep them if you want to show how traumatized Sakura is gonna be after that.
Anyway, sorry for rambling lol. I have a lot of ideas and no control over Naruto so my sadness knows no bounds.
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Belated OCKiss24; #6
Prompt: "Reach"
Nikalas Greyson & Mallory Forbane
“I reached for you, but you were gone.
I knew I had to go back home.
You searched the world for something else,
to make you feel like what we had.
And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad.”
— Wonderland by Taylor Swift
He’d been teasing her.
How he’d found her childhood journal, Mallory would probably never know. What had possessed the creature over a thousand years old to read her childhood journal, Mallory was certain she’d never understand.
All she cared about, in that moment, was making sure he didn’t read any more of it. Especially aloud!
The thing about Nikalas was that he didn’t have all that much on her in height. An inch. Maybe two. So when she lunged for the bound papers, his only option was to lean back.
She stretched up onto her toes. He curved his spine. And suddenly they were nose to nose, breath mingling, laughter still on their lips as she chased him.
She chased him. For once the tables had turned and he seemed to realise it the same moment she did.
He’d made her laugh. On one of the worst days of her life. And despite the way she could see desire glimmering in his gaze, Mallory got the distinct impression he’d done so without any pre-mediated ulterior motive.
And a few pebbles crumbled off the wall she’d placed around her heart. More fell when she realised he hadn’t taken advantage of the way she was pressed against him. His free hand hadn’t fallen to her hip, and his stance didn’t soften, didn’t bring his lips to hers.
No. Mallory did that.
And as the kiss exploded across both their senses, the childhood journal was quickly tossed aside and left forgotten. Lost amongst the leaves scattered across the forest floor.
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There are more things happening some of them are pretty big and they're court cases today and John remillard has several and he's over there now and he's going to be there until probably 2:00 p.m. it is a terribly disgusting crew but we do have to tell you that things are changing he's being sued for a lot of money and stuff and he's not going to last he's got about two or three days left of his local supply of cash and he's got to bring more in and he has only three Banks and we mean entire Banks and those will be gone soon they are huge huge deals what's going on here and it's terrible they're not very bright and their stuff is horrible we do see what's happening and it's nasty items of business yeah we have announcements we have huge businesses that we are acquiring today
-one of the businesses that we are the process of acquiring and we're supposed to have a pre-sign today meeting is Harley-Davidson for approximately 64% of the company several others have come into try and sell because they have nothing else they can do that's what they said and what we say is it's probably true if you don't sell now they'll be taking over by imminent domain anyways but it gives us an opportunity to collect everything and it's worth it and we're going in and it keeps the peace to a degree we're going in and we are going to sit down at one of the Harley-Davidson locations of theirs and discuss it they do have other businesses. We are acquiring this business to make sure that they build motorcycles they have slowed to a standstill and they're building only for their higher-ups and really it's causing a lot of fighting at the top Max too and foreigners but it's not worthwhile it doesn't have that much effect we're going into several areas they're too hot to have the meeting and we're saying where we think and they don't like it but it is something to have to do we are going to continue building the way they are and we have another meeting afterwards to make sure that the parties involved agree now this would be an agreement between us and them because we're assuming that portion of the business the others don't have a say in it they can say they're going to have this and do that but it doesn't matter we're going to be making the agreement and they don't have an influence on it unless they want to make it a condition of sale and we can argue at that time but we will try to get over this hurdles newer old and we are discussing it with them and they're saying no new bikes and the same method and they do have these stupid turn off thing but that can be disabled and everybody does and there's a couple other things that are odd it has this huge fuse box and we would like to change those and people will and it makes sight for an aftermarket business where you have to go modify them and people don't mind doing it because they modify other stuff and it's still a hassle but they want to keep that for 5 years and a new models and there is no real great reason motorcycles don't consume that much gas and people take the thing off but people do put it on other things and they used the fuses for other stuff too and they want to continue to make them and how you disable it is you just pull it out and it's disabled and most people figure out how to do it and if you're Harley-Davidson Rider you're going to know even corks get it done. So we're going to have to carry on doing it I guess and there's other things too that are pivotal to what we're talking about and we're going to get to that shortly there are a number of other businesses we're going to print it's huge
Thor Freya
Olympus
We don't have too many stipulations we mentioned a couple we have to have certain aspects of the company kept in place one of them is continuity of service and what they say is they hire mix and who's available and they do not do what these guys do shut everyone out and sit on it and it was ridiculous and it was done because of green fear and laziness however when you're working and people can be nasty but we see that they do hire a mixed group and sometimes they're not even there they say and he said that and it's true so we're interested in doing it because they'll keep the company going and their grandson and his brother are founders and more so his mom and dad who are here in flesh and blood and there's part here still and he he's probably alive but he came back he would want the company back and that's something to do from his son and it's a big company a lot of people want to see that happen even though his son got nothing which is kind of ridiculous you can't take it back if he doesn't have it and if he's not involved at all he just makes major decisions for us that could be going the other way we wouldn't know if you can't examine it so I'm kind of pissed off again and I do understand why but it's going ahead and I know he's going to keep with it with it and you understand the switch thing and really it's a lot of people who don't really video it's in the race movie so you see who it is and it's an obvious ploy they do it with the cars too and we hate them for it and it's annoying as s*** but they can't build themselves so we're going ahead with it on new bikes and we like their ideas on preserving the culture of the company we started to make assembly factories separate and we started to have their manufacturing of the parts in the same place and centralizing and it needed a lot easier they need to still do it kind of the same way or it's another shipping disaster so they're going to go ahead and do that and they said it and he said it's here also we are expecting new bikes that we designed and they are a little lighter and they're fast and there's a sport bike and we I guess are going to have competition and he designed the fuel the original one before and we liked it and he wants to do the Buell again there's a couple reasons to do it and one is that the party poopers didn't want to have anything to do with it and they tried to ruin the company and it was really founded by one of their group sort of and the spoil and it's our brand and we own it and it is a something we need to exercise so other people don't take it we are continuing for the process today we like what they're saying and we want to continue with the Harley culture and we want to continue with the proper name and emblems occasionally we do retro stuff but we will talk about that at that point they're talking about a couple of sport bikes and we like we're not into light cycles at this time and probably won't be but he has an idea I kind of like it too you might make a different division but the same company Harley-Davidson racing and dirt bikes and dirt track and superbikes and sport bikes and light cycles and it's an idea and it's kind of a style cuz it's big time
Mac Daddy
Olympus we did discuss it in setting it up that way and it's an effective way to do things and it needs to have some kind of pizzazz and that would do it
I like this idea and I think we should go forward with it and we're going to start planning to do it right now
Thor Freya
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How to Add $50K or More to Your Launch
New Post has been published on https://www.cinchhomebiz.com/how-to-add-50k-or-more-to-your-launch/
How to Add $50K or More to Your Launch
If you haven’t yet had a big launch of your own, then it can be hard to relate to how things work, what needs to be done, and especially the results you can get. It all seems a bit foreign and out of reach. But the fact is, anyone has the potential to create a product that people love and launch it with tremendous success.
Imagine spending the next 2 months working on your new product and the launch itself. Then the big day is almost here. You’re lying in bed the night before, wondering if you did everything you can do to make this a big success. You’re worried it will flop. You’re thinking, “What if I just wasted the last two months of my life?” But the fact is, no matter what happens, it’s impossible to waste that experience as long as you learn from it.
Do you know what else you’re feeling? Excitement. It’s like the night before Christmas when you were a kid, times 10. Or maybe times 100. You can hardly sleep. What will tomorrow bring?
And let’s face it – you’re also proud of yourself. Regardless of how many sales you make or don’t make, you did it. You stuck with it and saw it through to the end. And that is priceless.
Do you see what we’re doing here? We’re imagining what it will be like when you launch your first BIG product later this year. Wow. What a great way to get motivated, huh?
Now then, I’m going to show you how to add a hefty sum to the bottom line of your next (or your first) product launch, and increase your chance of success in the process.
Let’s say you’ve done your work. You’ve built a nice list of buyers and prospects by offering terrific info on your topic. Now it’s time to take the next step and offer a course of instruction for the advanced players. You’ve even got some terrific affiliates lined up. You press the button and POW! Your new product is launched to the world.
Sales on the first day prove that you have a winner. For the next few days, sales continue to come in at a slower rate. Then on the final day of your launch, WHAM! Sales flood in like crazy. Why? Because people have trouble making up their mind, and it’s your deadline that will get them over the fence and clicking the buy button.
Your launch wraps up and you’ve done a very satisfying amount of sales. It might be $20,000, it might be $200,000, I don’t know. The point is, your launch was a success.
Now here’s how you make it even BETTER:
After your deadline passes, open a new, special enrollment period for 24 hours. Offer this special enrollment period ONLY to those who have clicked through to your sales page during the launch, but never enrolled. This way you are only sending it to those who have basically pre-qualified themselves.
Offer them something new. For example, if you were offering your product for one big price, offer them a payment option. Let’s say your course was $297. You could offer them 3 payments of $99.
Or if you were offering a payment option during your launch, now you can offer them a better payment option. Instead of $99 a month for 3 months, offer $49 for seven months.
When you send an email to tell them about this special enrollment period, thank them for their interest. Let them know that you understand they might want a better payment plan, and this is their one chance.
If you don’t want to offer payments, consider offering something else instead. Maybe a one-on-one Skype call to answer questions after they’ve gone through the course. Or a critique of their work after using the course. Or a special bonus that ties in nicely.
Here’s the bottom line: By clicking through to the sales page, these people have shown that they are indeed interested. Some of them very nearly bought. But ‘nearly’ doesn’t make the sale, and if you don’t get them to buy now, they never will.
What you’re doing is providing them with one more opportunity, along with an additional incentive, to get your course. If your course is good (and we certainly hope it is) then you are doing them a major service by making this offer.
And in return, you can put an extra 4 or 5 figures into your pocket, simply by sending a couple of emails. Of course, you’ve got to do all the work that comes with having a product launch. But the point is, in the world of online marketing there are no limits to what you can earn, if you’re willing to do what it takes.
Now for some motivation…
Think about what you want most in your life right now. Is it more time? More money? More freedom?
You can have all of this and more. And once you start making money, a funny thing happens. It gets easier and easier as you discover more and more techniques like the one we just described above. You’ve just got to do the work to get it, whether you feel motivated or not.
I’ll leave you with one last trick: Make a list of what you need to do in order to launch your next product. Find one thing on that list you can do right this moment, and then spend the next 15 minutes getting started on it. That’s it, just 15 minutes. Once you get started, you’ll probably discover you don’t want to quit.
And there’s your motivation. As the shoe company says, Just Do It. Just get started. That’s truly the hardest part. Everything after that? Is all downhill and will build momentum, almost automatically.
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Party panic review
#Party panic review update#
#Party panic review full#
#Party panic review free#
During this time I'm going to come up with at least two new minigames that will be added to the game. I'm not happy with this, and I know a lot of people were looking forward to new minigames. There have not been any new minigames for the entirety of the time I've been working on the new game mode. I have one minigame half done a week ahead of schedule at the point of writing this, so I might be able to squeeze this in before the end of the month. Going to work on a progression system at some point before the Steam Summer sale. All these things are already complete, I just need to clean up a few things. This will NOT include any new content, but will have things like a new server browser, matchmaking/find me a game, in game chat, UI improvements, Controller/keyboard improvements.
#Party panic review update#
Prepare an update for Party Panic, with all the "quality of life" fixes and improvements I've made over the last few months. Here's a breakdown of the roadmap as I see it, as I work towards the release of Party Panic. So all in all, there's some really unfortunate timing that I wasn't aware about that means I can't/shouldn't release Party Panic June 1st, when I had hoped.Īfter thinking about this problem for all of last week, I think I've come up with a solution I'm happy (mostly) with, and hopefully you guys will be happy with as well. This is unacceptable.Ģ) There is the option to release a few days before the Summer Sale, but this seems like suicide for Party Panic's visibility, as Party Panic would get completely lost in the chaos, and can in no way complete with last years AAA GOTY on sale for 90% off or whatever other crazy deals there will be. Which means unless I do something there will have been no updates to Party Panic for 6 months. If I want to release Party Panic AND be included in the Summer Sale Party Panic needs to be released 37 days BEFORE the Summer Sale, or 30 days after.ģ7 days before would mean that I would need to release the in less than 14 days, which is absolutely impossible as that's not enough time to get release promo/marketing ready, and finalize the remaining things in the game.ģ0 days after the the Summer Sale brings us to the end of July. There are some complications with releasing Party Panic any time in June for a few reasons.ġ) Developers must wait 30 days between sale/discounts. Last year the Summer Sale was the last week in June, and went until the first week of July. I was right on track to meet that date, but as I was nailing down the details there was an issue that I (somehow) overlooked.Įveryone knows that every Summer Steam has a huge sale, and we're quickly coming up to this sale. May was set to be the "Pre-Release planning" month for Party Panic, where I would nail down dates, get in contact with marketing/promotional people and prepare for a big launch June 1st the best I can. This new game mode is very close to being done. This is because I shifted gears to work on a new game mode for Party Panic that got bigger and bigger as I worked on it, but in that process of creating something that (I think) is really cool, I kind of neglected the rest of the game.
#Party panic review full#
It's hard work and some days it feels like there's a lot of weight on my shoulders to deliver, but I have some big things prepared for the full Release, and the time leading up to it.Ĭurrently, the live version of Party Panic is from Feb 11th, nearly 3 months have gone by without any updates to main version. I want to make Party Panic the best game I possibly can, and I'm still working as hard as I can.
#Party panic review free#
I will continue to post what is happening and progress on the game in this thread! Feel free to post suggestions in this thread, or ideas for the board game mode!įor the sake of transparency, I want to explain what's going on with Party Panic and the plan for moving forward out of Early Access and into Release.
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Sell Your House Fast For Cash | Sandia Home Buyers In Albuquerque
Looking to sell your home in a hurry? Even in today’s hot seller’s market, it typically takes a little over two months to sell a house from list to close. That doesn’t account for any pre-listing preparations such as cleaning, decluttering, and staging the property. If you don’t have the flexibility for this timeline, including the average 50 days you’ll spend waiting for a financed buyer’s mortgage to be processed, you’ll need to get creative with your plans. Request a full cash offer through a platform like Simple Sale, slashing your closing timeline to as little as 10 days or the move-out date of your choosing. List your property with a top real estate agent who can help secure a quick offer and, as much as possible, create a clear path to settlement. This guide provides a complete overview of the top ways to get a quick offer, sign a deal, and get out of a house that’s no longer serving you.
Sell your house to a wholesaler: What most people don't understand is that nearly 45% of all real estate transactions that happen in this country happen using all cash. That means there are no banks involved. It also means that most of the traditional hurdles of underwriting are gone. But wholesalers do something a bit more unique. They help middle man your house. Not for top-dollar. But you'll get a fair amount. That's for certain. All the wholesaler does is put your house under contract and flip it to a cash buyer. Often, this involves little to no money out of their pocket. So why would you flip it to a wholesaler? Well, it's fast. Certainly faster than attempting to list it with a traditional agent. Now, how do you find a wholesaler? That's a bit more complicated. They often find you. In their search for distressed sellers, they look for signs that properties are ready to sell at a deep discount. Please go here https://www.sandiahomebuyers.com/ you get a a specialize in quick, cash buyer.
Find the top real estate agent in your area: There's a real difference I need to highlight here amongst real estate agents. While I have nothing against them personally, here's the truth. Most agents are well-intentioned. They certainly have every intention of selling your home for top dollar. And they want to sell it fast. But is that usually case? Not often. Most lament that realtors don't quite do their job. The whole list-it-and-forget-it complaint seems to take center stage. And rightfully so. The longer they're agents, the more likely they become top producers. You develop relationships over the years and over time your business balloons. And those are the agents you want to go after if you want to sell quickly.
Dramatically reduce your price: Look, you can't change the location of your home. You just can't. But you can change the price. And depending on the temperature of the market, dramatically altering your price can seriously speed up the process. I'm not talking about a small price shift here. I'm talking about a major change in the asking price. What most people like to do is to remove the home from the MLS and relist it again. That's well and good, but there is a history created on your property. Anyone can see the number of days it spent on the market. They'll also know whether you're a serious seller or not. Rather than removing it from the market and relisting it, just drop the price. Again, price is a huge motivating factor. Keep in mind that people love to things at a dramatic discount.
Consider a short sale of your home: Most of the time, when people want to sell fast, it's because they're underwater. We call these properties distressed. Why? Because, oftentimes, the debt owed on the property is more than the value of the home. That means that equity is non-existent. Plus, when you're going through a divorce, the death of a spouse, or bankruptcy and other financial problems, it compounds the situation. It's not a good situation. And if the bank has threatened you with foreclosure, there are things you can do. The most prominent? Ask the bank to do a short sale. What's a short sale? First, it relies on the debt being more than the value of the home. But it also counts on all the lien holders agreeing to the sale.
Transfer your mortgage to someone else: Okay, the last way to sell your home quickly might be to transfer your mortgage to someone else. But it also means that your mortgage must be assumable by someone else. You'll need to read your mortgage docs to figure this out. But if it is assumable, then you're in luck. This could even mean that you could stay in your home and rent it. Is this a common scenario? No. Yet it is possible. You just need to do a bit of leg work to make it happen. Keep in mind that whoever the new "borrower" is, they need to qualify for that mortgage. And that might take some hoops to jump through. And if you're truly buried under debt and can't make your payments, it might not be the fastest way to get out of your home. But it is an option.
Sandia Home Buyers
6711 Academy Rd NE Suite B Albuquerque, NM 87109
505-596-4747
[email protected]
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Searching World Wide Web For Public Death Records
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When we hear lots of people "charity" our impression of love towards our neighbors, love made visible as in service to some other. What does charity really mean to us? Charity, I believe, is the pure joy of passing. It includes more than material materials. We see it all of the warmth from the smile from a stranger, help written thank-you-letter, a comforting hug, a healing prayer, a kindness to a grieving friend, a bonding with someone in might need. It is a karmic longing. Reasonable an abundance of warmth and loving when we give. Genuine nature of charity would be the fact the more you give; the more love returns to us.
Whether are generally pre-planning your special arrangements, anyone just lost a loved one. Do some research! Should you be looking to avoid wasting money, anyone cannot spend the money for 1000% markup of costs. look around, do some research, you have got other alternate options. You can choose a direct cremation service not inside your 1000% markup of a funeral home. Or maybe you or your family member do not want to be cremated achievable go through a funeral home, BUT that won't mean have got to manage one on their urns or caskets, place opt acquire your own from whenever you casket outlet, or live on the internet. AND you do not have to opt for one memorial wish to be held at the funeral home, you may decide to grab it at your church or perhaps in your own home.
How does Alzheimer's carry? Our brain operates like a tiny factory, happen to be 100 billion nerve cells comprising our brain with each having a job to engage in. These cells form a communication network that receive supplies, generate energy, construct equipment and gets gone waste. Some cells allow us to see, smell and hear, while others tell our muscles to handle. Other cells are involved in thinking, learning and our memory. Understand how takes cell coordination, a lot of fuel and ticket.
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The key I've found to begin the process is in order to the autopsy on the failed sales call right away. The sooner you'll do it, the sooner you can put what you've learned on the next sales call.
It's been my experience both personally and professionally that this manner process right, you can position yourself to become the salesperson these products turn to in the long run.
Third, develop vision statement for alone. This should be one or two sentences that describe how you will be your past world. Is actually not an organized plan. It is comparable to the obituary in that it can be an end-point. Usually different in that specific it provides direction and concentrate to all the activities.
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When referring to cremation, concern a variety of desires in association with it. Some want their ashes spread over turn the land they always lived attached to. Others want it kept in an urn always with their loved one of them. Having your loved one cremated should not change the funeral a great deal of. There will not be a showing, but there can nevertheless be a time for tourists to come and speak to you before charges just a little. The service should not be any unique of one having a different burying process. Anyone with a funeral director may discuss what need for 200 dollars per month. You may have someone singing or talking with the online community. It will really be up to you to did what you know your 1 wanted.
There is really a possibility your dragon has picked up adenovirus. Normally of herpes virus are frustrating to most reptile owners as they are very general with lethargy and looseness of the bowels. If there is any chance that your dragon has picked up this virus, isolate it from the rest if you might have more than a single. Adenovirus can wipe out an entire group of reptiles most likely are inflammed. Unfortunately, there is no sure way of telling if youngster has this or not because may possibly only be identified through autopsy from the deceased cat or dog.
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Burberry Belt Products On The Market
Discover new and signature women’s equipment from the Spring/Summer 2022 assortment, captured with quintessential Burberry codes. How to correctly tie a classic Burberry trench coat knot in two ways in photos • Save. Innovation has all the time been on the forefront of the Burberry model.
According to Fortune, the model new logo was a part of a model revamp and was designed by graphic designer Peter Saville, whose work has included album covers for bands like Joy Division. Burberry additionally launched a new print that year, that includes the entwined letters "T" and "B" in honor of the brand's founder, Thomas Burberry . That first store was a humble one, and it didn't have many shoppers to cater to, as Basingstoke only had about 4,500 residents at the moment. Nonetheless, Burberry managed to show his outfitting business into a modestly profitable one. By the time of the 1861 census, Burberry was employing seven men, seven women, and three boys in his store. This was only the start for the young Burberry — greater issues have been in retailer for the younger entrepreneur.
The Burberry logo designers also found a method to interlock the Ts and Bs creatively, making a “TB” monogram inspired by the posh style home founder’s initials. The monogram will characteristic closely in promotion and brings together a shocking mixture of the renowned Burberry beige, classic white, and orange honey. The monogram dated means again to 1908 and happened after Tisci visited the Burberry archives. Gone are the days when windows only got here in hues of blacks, browns, and whites.
Gobbetti has pledged to make Burberry extra luxurious by introducing products at greater worth factors. One of the first experiments in that strategy appears to have gone properly. Sales of the brand’s new “belt bag”, which sells for as much as £1,790 – the upper finish of the worth spectrum for Burberry aside from bags in specialist leathers corresponding to alligator or python – had been “encouraging”.
So, I looked on the coat again and notice that it is truly very long. I could make a very good-looking belt from the hemline with little or no effort. The fashion is secured with a palladium-plated Monogram motif plaque buckle. Archive beige/black cotton/leather monogram-buckle belt from BURBERRY that includes reversible, Vintage Check pattern, brand buckle fastening, silver-tone hardware, pre-drilled holes and adjustable match. The style is secured with a Monogram motif plaque buckle.
You can help offset the carbon emissions of packaging, delivery, and potential returns from your order with a contribution to Climate Partner. They are our chosen unbiased partner and recognized skilled in local weather safety. The contribution is along with Mytheresa’s commitment to operate carbon neutrally. You can discover extra information about Climate Partner and the project you support right here. At Mytheresa we all the time strive to search out environmentally friendly solutions for a luxurious buying experience. To make certain your buttons are DOUBLY secure, thread a jumpring (as giant as you got, would not matter what color) through every shank on the mistaken aspect of the belting.
To maintain the brand’s status, Burberry launched a marketing campaign that ultimately ended up saving the model. Burberry suffered a double whammy, nearly shedding everything within the process. https://calsmedia.nl/replica-designer-belts/replica-burberry-belt.html During the Nineteen Eighties and Nineteen Nineties, the Burberry examine was one of the copied designs on the planet of trend.
In this text, you will perceive the the purpose why glass window set up, fix, and replacement home windows must be carried out by the consultants. Sign up for e mail updates on the most recent Burberry collections, campaigns and movies.
wikipedia handbags If you like what you see, attempt a Burberry belt bag too. In collaboration with graphic artist Peter Saville, Burberry reinvents the label’s signature emblem with this smooth leather belt. Paying homage to the founder’s initials, it fastens with a TB Monogram plaque buckle in a model new type and is completed with hand-painted edges. It's all in the details, and Burberry belts will add a elegant final touch to any look.
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