#with my anxiety in the worst way and its been awful and i want to share this art cause its so great but also i want to cry cause i feel
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PAIRING ! rich jock!jake x mechanic!reader
SYNOPSIS ! Always having had this passion for cars and fixing them, you found the perfect summer job as a mechanic! Working in a mechanic shop where everyone that worked there was friends with each other was perfect until the friend that didn't work there showed up to get his car fixed.
WARNINGS ! i don't understand a single thing abiut cars or how to fix them it was all googled; jake has daddy-ish? issues; horrendously written angst; reader and jake get pretty heart broken but i cant write angst so its awful; reader thinks jake cheated yikes; curse words; drinking alcohol; reader and jake both have anxiety; reader talks about her past and not having many friends; slighlty suggestive talk but minor friendly! i think it's all, warn me if otherwise!!
word count : 18.9k lol
PLEASE READ! so i want to warn everyone that reads this that this story is not my best. I wrote this during a huge writers block and I've never written something as long as this. I know there are flaws and things that could be better, so I'm all open to tips and advice on how to be better at this kind of stories. I would love to write more of this lenght fics even if my blog was not created for that but its a path i would like for it to take. I really apologize if this story doesn't reach your expectations, but I'm only starting so please be nice patient with me. i hope you enjoy this at least a little bit !
Summer jobs were a student’s worst enemy. The desperation of wanting money to go on a trip with friends led anyone to get the first job they could get their hands on. That’s how you end up at your friend's boyfriend's mechanic shop. Sohee told you about his shop when she found out you were looking for summer jobs to get money for your long-planned trip and knew her boyfriend was looking for employees. Everyone who knew you well enough knew you had a special love for cars and were good at fixing some car-related problems. Ever since you were a little child you were always running behind your father when he did some fixing around his car and as you grew up you learned a few things, enough to have friends call you occasionally to fix their cars. You were a little hesitant to accept this job, you had never fixed any big thing in a car and this job looked like it required more knowledge than you had, still after considering how much you needed the money you accepted your friend’s offer.
Sohee explained that only a few people were working around and they were all her boyfriend’s, Heeseung, friends. Heeseung, who ran the shop, does any kind of job around and fixes business and partnership offers, Jungwon worked during the weekends in class months and worked full time during summer break and usually worked in simple things like changing tires and cleaning the cars, Sunghoon who polishes the cars along with Sunoo who also paints and wraps them, Jay worked with changing heavy car pieces and finally, Ni-ki who was friends with all of them and the youngest amongst them all, was also doing this as a summer job and he was in charge of painting costume designs in cars. The 6 of them formed a friend circle along with another one, Jake – who didn’t seem to be working here since he most likely didn’t need to, seeing that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always been more privileged than the rest of them in Sohee’s words.
Putting on your jacket and grabbing your keys you made your way out. The weather was hot and you were already regretting putting a jacket on as soon as you entered your car and felt how hot it was inside. You started the car, turned the ac on, waited until you could breathe properly, and felt like you wouldn’t melt in the car seat. You grabbed your phone and pasted the mechanic shop address in the GPS app. It wasn’t too far from your house, which you were grateful for since it meant you didn’t need to wake up extra early to reach the shop in time. The drive was quiet, the traffic was low, and deep down you wished it was high just so you could have time to calm your nerves. The app indicated that you were a minute away so you looked around the street until you spotted a sign that read Gearbox Garage. You made a turn and pulled into the small driveway the shop had to park cars. You turned your car off and took a deep breath as you pulled your keys out and got out of the car. You walked to the front of the shop and it looked empty, making you think that maybe you should’ve given Heeseung a call before coming. Looking at the time on your phone, it marked 2:30 pm meaning they could be on lunch break. You walked into the shop and looked around, the shop was well organised for a mechanic shop, it wasn’t as dirty as you expected it to be but small oil puddles and thrown cloths could be seen here and there. There were only a few cars, not that you expected more since the place wasn’t the biggest. Taking one more look around, you saw a door with a sign that said staff only, you walked towards it and knocked, hoping somebody would open it and it would be Heeseung. You waited a few seconds until a tall man opened it with a sandwich in his hand and sauce and bread crumbs in the sides of his mouth. He looked at you with a confused expression as he leaned in the doorway.
“Um I’m here to talk with Heeseung, I’m friends with his girlfriend and she told me he’s looking for one more person to work here so-” you were cut off as the man walked away and shouted, “Heeseung hyung, there’s someone for you!” a faint coming could be heard in the distance as another figure started approaching the door. Said Heeseung appears in front of you. “So you must be the y/n Sohee’s always talking about?” he said looking at you with an extended hand, waiting for you to shake it. You took his hand in yours as you shook it, hoping he didn’t notice how sweaty it was from your nerves. “Ah yeah, that’s me! I’m assuming she told you how I wanted the job, right?” “Oh yes, she did tell me about it and I just need you to answer a few questions to know whether you can get the job is that ok?” Shit, smile and nod y/n. You quickly nodded at his words, hoping he wouldn’t ask if you knew how to do complex things. “I just need to know what kind of things you can fix or have done.” “Oh! I have done quite a few things, I’ve changed oils, fixed engine chains, changed batteries, changed tires and other small fixes.” you nodded and fiddled nervously with your fingers, silently hoping this was enough to have him accept you to this job. Heeseung nodded and slightly smiled at your words and extended his hand again. You looked at his hands and then at him and he laughed at your confusion. “Seems like you’re our newest employee, welcome!” you let out a breath of relief and shook his hand again. “Oh my god, thank you so much! I promise I'll try my best.” you said firmly as you offered him a smile. “No need to thank me. We really need one or two more employees so you’re big help right now. Anyways, you can start maybe tomorrow at 9 am?” “Oh sure, I can, see you tomorrow then!” Heeseung nodded at you and went back to the staff room as you made your way out to your car.
As soon as you sat in your car you immediately texted Sohee, thanking her for having such a nice boyfriend. You put your phone down and sigh happily. You got the job now, what could go wrong? Now you just need to focus on working hard and getting that money to go on that trip.
The sound of your alarm made you stir awake. You groaned as you stretched out and let your arms fall limp in bed with a loud thump. You closed your eyes as you let out a sigh, getting mentally ready for your first day at work. Getting out of bed, you made your way to the bathroom to take your morning shower. You turned the water on and let it warm a little bit before you went in. The warm water felt relaxing against your skin, an almost therapeutic feeling. As you washed yourself you started thinking about how would your first day at work, hoping you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of the rest of the boys and could get along with them. Now, it wasn’t like you had a hard time making friends, quite the opposite. Still, you were always a little awkward when you first met people, all thanks to your constant overthinking, never knowing if people enjoyed talking to you or not. You could say you had a pretty vast friend group but you weren’t as close with anyone as you were with Sohee. She has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. She’s been there for you anytime you needed and you for her. Sohee was the one who helped you come out of your comfort zone and try new things. Without her, you wouldn’t enjoy your teenage years as much as you did, hell, if it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t even dream of going on the damn trip.
You got out of the shower and stepped in front of the mirror, wiping some of the steam off of it. You started doing your normal skincare routine that, normally, would be a relaxing moment for you, but now you were only thinking about how you could be getting ready to head to the beach with your friends and drink a cocktail while tanning, and now you were only harshly rubbing the products on your face with irritation. Taking a deep breath you moved to your room to finish getting ready so you could leave the house as soon as you could. You looked in the mirror, taking in your appearance one last time before leaving the house, not that the way you looked right now mattered because you were more than sure that sooner or later you would be covered in oil and car fluids so you opted for your old overalls with an old shirt underneath.
The drive downtown was quiet and easy-going, still, there was some traffic since everyone started their work around the same time. The car’s clock indicated that it was 8:50, making you relieved that you weren’t gonna be late on your first day of work. Making the already familiar last turn, you reached the shop, parking in the lot it had inside. You got out of the car and instantly felt the slight summer breeze that ran through the morning air. Walking inside the shop, you could already hear some shuffling going on around the shop. As you got in further, you saw Heeseung who probably hasn’t noticed your presence yet from his crouched position, cleaning up some tools and putting them in a separate box.
“Good morning, Hee!” you greeted, startling him. He got up and turned to face you with a surprised expression. “Oh hey, y/n! Wasn’t expecting you to be this early, though.” He said, chuckling as he wiped his hands with a cloth. “Well, you know, didn’t wanna be too late on my first day of work, I guess,” you said, swinging yourself back and forth, avoiding his gaze, feeling kinda awkward with yourself for worrying so much about being on time. “Usually the other boys come super late since they come all together so you shouldn’t worry about being on time here. Also, we’re supposed to be all friends here, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself about working here, it’s all chill here!” Heeseung said, trying to reassure and comfort you. “I guess it’s just a matter of time for me to get used to it.” you clapped your hands behind your back as you finished talking. “Anyways, should I start working?” you suggested. “Oh, yeah. Actually, there’s a car that needs an oil change, so maybe you could start by doing that.” Heeseung said, pointing to a red car that was already up in the hydraulic lift. “Sure thing!”
You put on some gloves that Heeseung gave you and started getting to work. Changing oil was something you did quite a lot, it was one of the first things your dad taught you, something that was so hard for you back then is now a piece of cake for you. Having a passion for cars made learning things way easier for you. Obviously, this old passion of yours wasn’t seen as a good thing for some people. Some would tell you girls shouldn’t be working with cars as it was the role for the boys or that you should be playing with your dolls instead of getting in your dad’s way while he was fixing his car. Of course, your little kid self felt awful hearing such things, but your parents would always reassure you that it didn’t matter what they said and that it was okay to want to learn those things. As time went by, people stopped commenting less and less. As you grew up you learned how to stand up for yourself and you wouldn’t leave those people without a response, and with time they learned how to mind their own business.
As you waited for the oil to fully drain, you heard a car pull up in the parking lot and the rest of the five boys arrived together, just as Heeseung had mentioned previously. You got up from your kneeling position and turned to look at them as they all got in and greeted Heeseung. Their loud voices quickly filled the place that was once only filled by the quiet tunes from Heeseung’s playlist and the occasional clanking of tools hitting the floor. You went back to work as they all talked with each other and started getting ready to work. You heard steps coming in your direction, making you look back to where it came from, seeing Jungwon walking towards you with his dimples on display.
“Good morning, y/n! You know it’s weird seeing someone who’s not Heeseung working here this early.” Jungwon said as he walked towards you, chuckling to himself. Stopping what you were doing, you turned all your attention to him. “Guess someone needed to give him some company, no?” you said putting your hands on your hips. “Keep going like that and he might give you the “employee of the month” title,” he said, making you laugh at him. “Anyways, what are you doing?” he asked, nodding at the car above you on the lift. “Oh, changing some oil, was about to put a new filter on.” you said as you pointed at the car’s oil pan, “Shouldn’t you get to work as well?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him, making him scowl at you. “Don’t remind me, Heeseung gave me a shit ton of cars to clean, got work for a whole week,” he said rolling his eyes. Jungwon walked away to start working on his cleaning duty and you put your focus back on the oil filter.
Soon enough, it was lunchtime and the seven of you were all gathered in the staff room. You were all talking about multiple things and something that came to conversation was how they had never seen you around campus.
“I mean, I guess I’m not necessarily a social butterfly and we might not even have classes in the same place, so that might explain why we never crossed paths.” you explained as you ate some of your tuna-mayo wrap you brought from home, they all hummed in agreement. “What are you majoring in, though?” Sunghoon asked you as he looked up from his lunchbox. “Oh, I study computer science!” “Oh really? Then you must know Jake? Jake Sim? He shares a few classes with comp sci students” Heeseung asked, surprised to know you were in the same major as his best friend. You hummed in thought as the name sounded familiar. “It does ring a bell but I’m not really adding a face to the name though.” You said slightly tilting your head to the side as you tried your best to remember who the hell was Jake Sim. “Yeah, let’s just say his attendance isn’t exactly the highest…” Heeseung said as he hissed quietly. “Oh… yeah that must explain why I don’t remember him then.” You said chuckling. “Don’t misunderstand it. It’s not like he doesn’t care about classes, I mean he kinda doesn’t, but he is much more focused on football.” Heeseung paused as if he was in deep thought. “Jake knows if anything school-related goes wrong for him he can just take over his dad’s business, which most likely will happen.” You hummed, understanding what he meant.
It wasn’t rare for jocks like Jake to skip classes and ignore the fact that they need to graduate. Still, some of them were lucky to have successful family businesses, like Jake was. His father was one of the most prestigious CEOs and businessmen of Seoul and even the whole of South Korea. He led one of the most famous costume software development companies around, starting in a small office in Seoul that, over the years, grew all over the country’s most famous districts. Jake obviously was following his father’s steps, deciding to follow the computer science field so one day he could take over his father’s business. Was this his dream? No. Did he really wanna be a future CEO? Also no. He was doing this solely because he knew his dad would never approve of his younger son pursuing a football career. His older brother, Jaewoo, was already following the business field and Jake was just expected to do the same as him and since the older sibling decided not to work in his father’s company, he was the last hope to keep the business going so he felt like he had no other option. He felt suffocated knowing that everyone had high expectations for him, having people constantly asking him if he was happy to know he would take over the oh-so successful business, to which he obviously smiled and nodded but deep down he felt mad, almost furious, that people only expected him to do that. No one ever asked him about football, even though everyone knew he was good and even the best in the team and could grow so much more in that field if it weren’t for people like them who only cared about status and money. That’s not who Jake wants to become, selfish and greedy.
The day came to an end, the sky had a pink and orange hue to it, creating a beautiful painting, pleasing and conforming to gaze at. You started organizing all the tools you had used, placing them in their respective place in the toolbox Heeseung had lent you. Distant chattering could be heard from the other boys playing around as they had also finished their work for the day. You were walking towards the bathroom to wash your hands when you heard someone call your name.
“Hey, y/n!” You looked back to see Sunghoon, who called you, and the rest of the guys looking at you. “Come out for dinner with us, we’re going to the barbeque place downtown.” “Um, I don’t know guys, it’s gonna get late and we have work again tomorrow…” You said, scratching the back of your neck, suddenly feeling shy, not being used to going out with people you barely knew. “Oh come on, to celebrate your first day being one of us! It’s on Heeseung tonight!” Ni-ki said patting the older man on the back, who was about to complain but quickly agreed with the younger one as he felt him pinching him. “Yeah, y/n, don’t even worry about coming late tomorrow.” Your eyes flickered between all of them until you decided to agree with them, realizing that maybe you need to loosen up a little and stop being such a pussy. You sighed, nodding your head at them “Ok, fine! But I’m not paying!” You said raising your hands. The boys cheered dramatically, making you roll your eyes but laugh nonetheless. “Anyways, I’m going home to get ready, just text me later with the address.” Everyone bid their goodbyes and you made your way back to your car, ready to go home.
As you entered your house, your mom came to greet you, kissing your cheek in the process. “Hey, dear. How was your first day at work?” she asked you, grabbing your jacket and putting it into the coat hanger at your entrance. “Oh, it actually went really well. Wasn’t expecting to work as much as I did, but I’m proud that I could do that much.” “Ah, you must be so tired, honey! Was the lunch I made enough? Oh, maybe I should’ve-” “Mom,” you said laughing “It was more than enough, don’t worry about it, ok?” you reassured her, rubbing her arms that rested on her side as she looked tense. “Anyways, they all invited me to dinner so I’m gonna shower and get ready.” You kissed her cheek and ran upstairs towards your room.
Dinner yesterday went smoothly. All your worries about not being able to get along with them were quickly thrown away when you found yourself talking with them like you’ve known them for ages. The night was filled with laughter, maybe because of the funny stories being shared or maybe it was the alcohol that everyone- except Ni-ki- had consumed. You were glad you were able to let yourself loose and enjoy the night to the max, you couldn’t remember the last time you had that much fun since you were always so busy with college and finals were kicking your ass. The last thing you remember doing that night was texting Sohee that you had gotten home safely and you had enjoyed the night.
Now you were waking up with the buzz of your alarm, opening your eyes only to close them right away when the bright sun rays hit your face. You sat up on the bed, feeling your head pound making you hiss at the strong feeling. You got up and walked to the bathroom scolding yourself to never drink on a work night again.
Driving to work today was painful, no matter how strong the medicine you took was or how much orange juice you drank, the pounding headache you got was not going away and the dark circles under your eyes also weren’t a very pleasant sight to see so you opted to wear a pair of sunglasses. You looked at the time and it marked 9:40 am, definitely not on time but no one could really blame you for being extra slow today and your mom also made sure to take a few more minutes from your time to scold you about being late out and drinking when you had work the next day.
Arriving at the shop, you saw everyone already there making you sigh, hating yourself for being the last one arriving at work. Walking inside you saw that no one was working, instead, they were all sitting at a table near the entrance, some of them laying their head down on the table and others drinking energy drinks to be able to go on with their day. “I don’t even know if it’s safe to say good morning.” you said sitting down next to them, plopping down on the chair, hissing at the quick movement that made the pounding sensation in your head stronger. No one was able to say anything so you were all sitting down in silence, looking at the cars driving by the shop. Any passer-by would think you had nothing to do when in fact there was way too much to do than any of you could.
“Remind me to never do this again, please.” Jungwon said referring to going out until late, making everyone hum in agreement. Suddenly, Heeseung gets up, clapping his hands and then rubbing them together “Let’s get to work. These cars aren’t gonna fix themselves.” Everyone groaned at the older man’s words, some complaining, saying it would be fair to take a day one, only receiving Heeseung’s glare in return. “Anyways, y/n, I know you just got here, but I really need you to do me a favour,” Heeseung said, turning to you. You stared at him through your glasses in response “Pretty please?” He said lacing his hands together, making you sigh and roll your eyes. “Oh my god, fine! What is it then?” You said putting your hand on your hip with a sigh. “I need you to go downtown to pick up a parcel at the post. It has some pieces that I need for the car I'm fixing.” You said nothing in return aside from an I’ll be back soon as you entered the car.
The drive back to the shop was awful, you were stuck in traffic for almost an hour and about to burst in anger. “If it wasn’t for Heeseung and his stupid parcel…” you said, talking to yourself. When you arrived back at the shop you were more than ready to throw hands at Heeseung, if the parcel weren’t so heavy you would be running in his direction. “I swear to God, Heeseung, if you ever, but ever make me go through all this traffic again, man, I swear on my life I won’t-” You stopped in your tracks when you saw what was in front of you. “Oh my good God, what in the good earth, I- oh my goodness.” you dropped the parcel on the floor as you approached Sunghoon who was near the entrance. “Hoon, please tell me I’m not seeing things and my eyes aren’t deceiving me.” You exclaimed, your eyes never moving away from the car in front of you. Sunghoon swore he never saw your eyes shining so brightly “Hoon, is this a freaking Ford Mustang from ‘69?” you said in a high-pitched voice as your hands made their way to your face, cupping your cheeks. It wasn’t until you heard a deep chuckle that you noticed a figure next to Sunghoon. You looked in the person’s direction and you were met with a beautiful, almost ethereal, face that was already looking at you, sporting a smirk, making you feel nervous under his strong gaze. Your eyes looked him up and down, noticing he was dressed in designer head to toe. His face was familiar to you but you couldn’t grasp any memory with his face on it.
“You like it?” he asked, nodding his head towards the car before you. You nodded at him with a hum, words suddenly stuck in your throat and you didn’t even dare to try and speak, fearing your voice would fail you. He chuckled at you, finding amusement in your shy behaviour. “You wanna touch it?” he asked raising his brow as his smirk turned into a beautiful grin. You felt your cheeks grow hotter than before and Sunghoon decided to intervene before Jake could keep going, sensing his suggestive undertone. “Ok, that’s enough for you two, geez!” he said rolling his eyes, before speaking again “Anyways, you can leave the car here and Heeseung or anyone will take care of it, you already know you’re in good hands here so no need to worry.” “Alright then, just call me when it’s done, yeah?” Jake said as he and Sunghoon dapped each other up before he left, not forgetting to wink and wave at you, to which you gave a small wave back. “Kids these days.” Sunghoon said sighing and shaking his head at you, making you frown at him. “Shut up!” you said slapping his arm as you walked past him to pick up the parcel you left on the floor.
You walked back inside the shop, finding Heeseung crouched on the floor as he cleaned some rims he just fixed. “Hey Hee, got your parcel here. Do you want me to put it somewhere or should I just leave it here?” you said as you approached his figure “Oh, you can just leave it in that chair, I’m gonna need that in a while.” he said getting up as he wiped his forehead with his arm. “By the way, Jake’s car, the one in the entrance, needs to get the left view mirror changed, he broke it while parking somewhere. So, since I'm working on this car and it’s gonna take me a while, you’re going to be the one fixing it.” Oh! That was definitely interesting and caught your attention. “Oh, sure, no problem. It shouldn’t take too long.” This was only great. Not only were you fixing one of your dream and favourite cars but you were fixing a hot guy's car.
Later that day you arrived home with a happy sigh. Even though you were feeling extra tired from the hangover and work altogether, you could only think about your new acquaintance, a hot one. It has been a long time since you’ve felt like this for someone or especially for a boy. After your most recent ex-boyfriend, you tried to focus more on yourself and your friends since he hadn’t allowed you to do so. Those were times that were long gone and you wanted to erase them from your memory as you moved on.
You had dinner with your parents and went upstairs to get ready to go to bed earlier than usual to recover those lost hours of sleep. You showered and did your usual night routine, being extra careful and allowing yourself to relax. As you sat in bed, you grabbed your phone, seeing multiple notifications, since you don’t use your phone during work, from texts from your friends and social media ones, but there was one that caught your attention. For a moment you thought you were having delusional visions, but as you clicked on it it took you directly to Jake’s Instagram profile and the top showed the Accept and Decline button. He had found his way to your profile and it had you giggling silently, making you feel like you were in high school all over again. It had been about 3 hours since he sent the request so it was safe to accept without looking like a creep. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you proceeded to answer your texts and update Sohee on the tea, so you called her.
“Sohee, I kid you not, he is so attractive, I can’t!” you heard her sigh for the nth time on the phone, feeling her eye roll through the screen. “Y/n, I’ve seen him plenty of times, and trust me, I know he is, but be careful, I heard some things about him, though.” “Don’t worry about that, it’s just a silly crush. I’ll be over it sooner or later.” Sohee sighed again and you could hear her moving around in her bed sheets. “Yeah, whatever. We’ll talk later. Heeseung is calling me.” After talking with Sohee you were left alone with your thoughts as you scrolled on your phone but you weren’t really paying any attention to any of the posts, as you were thinking about Sohee’s warning. You decided to put your phone down and go to sleep to calm the thoughts running through your mind. As you were feeling yourself fall into a slumber, you heard your phone buzz but you chose to ignore it. You turn to the other side, getting comfortable to fall asleep again but again, your phone buzzes making you sit up and grab it aggressively. You turned it on, the bright light making you squint your eyes as you turned the brightness down. You unlocked it, checking who was texting at this hour. You felt your heart pound, getting nervous, as you saw Jake had dmed you. You click on his text, not caring if it had only been seconds from his last text.
simjaeyun_: hey :) 11:37pm
simjaeyun_: ignoring me now mnh? 11:46 pm
youruser: stalking me now huh? 11:47 pm
youruser: didn’t take for the stalker type tbh 11:47 pm
Your heart started beating quicker when you saw how fast he started typing an answer.
simjaeyun_: then what type do you take me to be? 11:48 pm
youruser: well 11:48 pm
youruser: definitely the one who makes other people stalk you not the other way around. 11:48 pm
simjaeyun_: maybe you just caught my attention like that ;) 11:48 pm
youruser: oh? did i now? 11:49 pm
simjaeyun_: maybe, find it out yourself :) 11:49 pm
You looked at the texts, feeling a soft blush creeping on your cheeks as you hugged your knees to your chest. You decided to leave him on read, not really having an answer to his text but Jake himself wasn’t expecting to get one back. You looked at the ceiling, having lost all your sleep by now. You closed your eyes and sighed as you slid down your bed until you were laying down. You turned to the side, watching the moon from your window, which you usually left open since it helped you wake up. You closed your eyes, trying to sleep, as the image of the texts kept appearing in your head, keeping you awake for a while.
The next day you woke up, remembering last night's events, making you clutch your sheets closer to your chest. You sat up on the edge of the bed, as you sighed and rubbed your face with your hands, making your way to the bathroom to do your routine and maybe it would help you keep your thoughts away from him. You looked in the mirror as you brushed your teeth, glad to see your dark circles were already gone. You did your usual skincare routine and headed down to the kitchen to have breakfast, seeing your mom had made you some pancakes and a black coffee, which were placed neatly on the table where she was already eating.
“Good morning mom!” you greeted her with a smile as you sat in front of her. “Good morning, dear! Did you sleep well?” “Oh yeah, I did! I went to sleep earlier to recover from the hangover…” She sighed at your words as she gave you a warning look, reminding you of her scolding. “Is there a special occasion for you to make me breakfast?” You asked as you took a bite of pancakes. “Not really, can’t I be sweet for my daughter once in a while?” She answered and you squinted at her, knowing there was a reason behind it, she wasn’t one to do these things just because. “You came home smilier than usual. Anything special happened at work?” She asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as she could. You stopped your movement for less than a second but enough time for her to notice. “Um, not really, was just happy.” You said after taking a sip from your coffee and putting the mug down. “Are you sure it was just that?” She propped her elbows on the table with her hands intertwined, looking as if she was questioning you for a crime you did. “Yes, mom. I’m pretty sure.” She hummed, taking a sip from her tea. “Is that why you were squealing with Sohee on the phone last night?” You gasped at her words. “Mom! Were you eavesdropping on me?” You asked her shocked that she had heard you talking with Sohee. “Oh no, dear. You know I’m not one to do that. I just happened to be walking past your room and heard you all excited about a certain- oh what was the name?” She stopped, trying to remember “Oh! Jake! Yes, Jake. Now, you wanna tell me about that?” You blushed at her words as if you were caught doing something bad or she heard a secret of yours. “Mom! No!” You said getting up from your chair, leaving a small bit of pancake on your plate. “I’m leaving. I need to go to work. Bye, love you!” You started walking faster, rushing to the door after picking up your house and car keys.
You entered the car, thinking about the conversation with your mom, reminding yourself to be more careful when talking with Sohee on the phone. You reached the shop just on time, parking your car in your usual place, which by now, you claimed as yours. You walked inside, seeing Heeseung and Ni-ki talking about something about a car.
“Good morning guys!” you greeted as you put your lunch bag down. They both looked back at you, seeming relieved you were finally there. “Oh thank God you’re here.” Ni-ki sighed. “Yeah, what’s up?” You asked, intrigued as to what they needed you for. “So, we were discussing car designs for me to do in the car Heeseung is taking care of, but the problem is that we can’t agree on one design.” He started explaining as Heeseunf put his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes at the younger male. “So tell me. in between these which one is better?” He finished, showing pictures of different designs. You hummed in thought as you looked carefully at the pictures and the car behind them. “I think for this car these two thick stripes would fit the best, but that’s my opinion!” “See! I told you! You won’t listen to me. Y/n, he won’t agree with me, please help me.” Ni-ki said as he put his hands together in a plea. “Sorry, Hee. Gotta agree with him in this one.” Heeseung looked at you with a dumbfounded expression. “Don’t fire me?” You said shrugging your shoulders at him. The older man rolled his eyes, sighing as he finally gave in. “Fine, but only because it's two against one.” “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say hyung.” Ni-ki said leaving the area, you looked at him shrugging at him, “Kids these days.” he said under his breath in a mumble.
You grabbed your stuff from where you had previously put it and took it into the staff room. Coming back to the area, you grabbed some gloves and put them on, ready to start working on Jake’s car. Heeseung had already put it in a space for you to fix it and besides it was a box with the side view mirror to replace to broken one. You’ve never changed a mirror before, but you remember one time when your dad did when your mom hit it on the wall while she was parking the car in the garage. It wasn’t much of a hassle, it was easy and simple. You opened the car’s door and you were met with the beautiful interior, which Jake had most likely renovated into a more modern one, but still had a vintage touch to it. The car smelled like a man’s perfume, probably his own, mixed with a leathery scent that came from the beautiful black leather seats with red details. Snapping out of your daze with the car’s interior you went back to work. You started by carefully taking out the mirror’s trim cover and removing the screws that were hidden.
As you were taking out the screws and putting them in a spare box, you felt a presence coming up behind you. Looking up, you found Sunghoon looking at you as he leaned on the car door. “Hey there!” you said as you kept doing your work. “Enjoying yourself, huh?” He said with a smug smirk adorning his face, making you roll your eyes. “Go away Sunghoon.” You said but still, you had a smile on your face. “It’s nothing special.” you finished. “You can’t be saying that when you acted how you did yesterday when you saw the car, practically fangirling over it. I mean, not to mention how you were fangirling over Ja-” “Shut up!” you said looking at him. “I wasn’t, you were seeing things.” Sunghoon laughed at your behaviour. “C’mon, no need to act shy now.” He started “You know, he texted me yesterday.” “Ok? And why should i care?” You said raising a brow at him. “He was asking me, or better, begging me to give him your Instagram.” You looked away from him as you felt your cheeks heat up. “I don’t know why he would do that!” You said, pretending to be interested in those screws. “Eh, you’ll eventually find out, I guess.” He said making you look back at him. “What is that supposed to mean.” You asked suddenly interested in what he had to say. He started walking away, his back turned to you “Nothing you should worry your pretty head about.” He answered, making you tilt your head, confused at his words. You sighed as you went back to working on that mirror.
It wasn’t too long after your conversation with Sunghoon that little by little everyone started gathering in front of the staff-only door to eat lunch. You got up and joined Jungwon and Sunoo, who was engrossed in a conversation about the latest tea about someone on campus. You were so focused on observing and listening to them talk that you didn’t notice an extra someone entering the shop until Jay mentioned it.
“Jake? What are you doing here man?” That made your ears perk up, but you pretended to still be listening to the gossip you were previously listening to. “Your mirror still isn’t fixed, so no luck for you today.” Heeseung said also greeting him with the handshake their group shared. You looked at them at the mention of the mirror, so it wouldn’t look as suspicious. “Yeah, I figured. Just wanted to join you guys for lunch.” He said raising his take-out bag. You heard someone gasp, looking you saw Ni-ki looking with heart eyes at the take-out bag. “Is that for us?” He said with his boxy smile. Everyone looked at Jake with hopeful eyes. “What? No, it’s mine! And no way in hell I’m sharing this with you guys.” Jake said in a warning tone. Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes at him “You’re literally no fun.” Sunoo said giving him a judging look. Jake simply shrugged as he looked around the room until his eyes met yours, making him bite back a smirk. Sunghoon, who was watching carefully and aware of the situation, nudged you slightly when Jake looked away, making you mouth a what? at him which he only answered with a smirk.
You all moved inside the staff room, sitting around the round table. Jake was sitting across from you and you were sitting in between Sunghoon and Ni-ki. Every time you looked up you would be met with Jake’s eyes staring into you shamelessly, making you bounce your feet nervously. Your eyes drifted towards Sunghoon and you were able to see the smirk he was hiding with food while looking between you and Jake until he finally noticed you looking at him, making him raise his eyebrows at you to which you answered with a shrug as you looked back to your food. You wondered if Jake was going to talk to you anytime today. Since he arrived today he hadn’t even spoken a word to you, not even a simple Hi, making you wonder if he was only the all-talk type through social media or if he just didn’t have the guts to talk to you personally, but still, he had no problem flirting and teasing you when you guys first met.
Lunch was over and you got back to work. Jake hadn’t gone away yet, lingering around the shop, mainly around Heeseung as they talked about things you couldn’t listen to. The sudden realization that you were working on his car hit and you wondered if he was gonna approach you in a way. Snapping out of your thoughts, you went back to finish fixing the mirror, already more than halfway done. You were putting everything back in place, with the mirror already replaced, when you saw Jake walking towards you from your peripheral vision. You felt your breath hitch as your shoulders tensed the closer he got.
“I see you finally got to touch it, huh?” He said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Oh! Yeah, I did.” You answered with an awkward laugh, feeling your palms getting sweaty. “Like what you felt, sweetheart?” Your eyes widen at that, suddenly feeling at a loss for words. You were more than sure if any other man would’ve said that to you, you would’ve cringed right away, but not when said man looked like Jake did. “I- well-” Jake started laughing, making you feel somewhat embarrassed. “I’m just playing around. You’re not that shy through texting.” He said reminding you of how confident you may have sounded through texts. “Well, I guess it’s not the same as talking face-to-face, right?” You stated, looking up at him in the eyes. His mouth opened to say something but closed right away. “Yeah, you’re right.” He took a breath in as he straightened his posture. “Anyways, is the mirror any close to being done?” He wondered. “Oh yeah, actually I just need to test it and it’s all ready for you to take it home!” You said while smiling at him, proud that you were able to do something new quickly yet carefully. “Oh really? You were pretty quick. Can’t say I’m not impressed, though, in a positive way, of course.” You giggled at him. “Thanks, Jake. I appreciate that.” He smiled warmly at you, nodding your way as he walked away from you, leaving you alone to finish your work.
It was almost time to go home when Jake and Heeseung approached you next to Jake’s car, where you were slightly bent over, as you were touching up some scratches near the mirror area with touch-up black paint. You finished the work, smiling proudly at yourself, as you turned around to face the two boys who were watching you silently as you worked. You sighed happily at them, adjusting the oversized overalls that you wore for work. “I’m officially done!” You exclaimed as you stretched an arm towards the car. Heeseung patted Jake in the back signaling him to get him and his car home. “You can pay me later.” Heeseung said walking away, knowing if he stayed Jake would insist on paying. Jake sighed as he looked at you. “Thank you for doing this, by the way.“ He said with a smile, making you shrug. “You’re welcome, Jake. After all, it’s my job.” You answered, looking down as you kicked non-existent rocks. Jake gave you a wide grin, watching your face, appreciating the way your lashes touched your cheeks when you blinked and how you bit your lip when you were nervous. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he walked towards his car. “Tomorrow?” You tilted your head to the side but you got no response as he got in his car. The engine purred as he drove out of the garage, leaving you standing dumbfounded. “Will I ever figure him out?”
Jake got home with only one thing, or rather someone, going through his mind. As cliché as it felt for him, he couldn’t understand what was in you that made him want to stay glued to you forever. He wanted to get to know you, know what you liked and disliked, and what were your hobbies. Did you have a pet? You didn’t really look like you had one. As soon as he entered his penthouse, he made his way to his room, falling into his bed with a thud, sighing as he felt his head make contact with his fluffy pillows. He still could feel his heart thumping in his chest, quicker than it ever beat. It felt weird, a good weird. He liked the feeling. One he only ever felt with his high school crush who had rejected him in his junior year. Jake groaned out loud as his arm fell to his face, covering his eyes. “What have you done to me?”
The past week was full of work. Everyone barely interacted, focused on getting everyone’s car fixed since it’s vacation season and everyone needed their car as soon as possible. Still, one thing everyone found weird was how Jake came to visit almost every day, something that never really happened through all these years everyone had worked there. Sunghoon always made sure to point out to you that Jake was always lingering close to you, making you give him annoyed remarks. Deep down you were glad he stood close to you as you got time to know him better and to your surprise he was more interesting than you ever thought a jock would be, no offence. You two would laugh with each other for hours until Heeseung needed to scold you to go back to work, hiding his smile as he watched you two playfully fight each other. His presence made work hours go by quicker and you started enjoying his presence a little bit too much, noticing the way your heart would beat a tad bit faster when you heard him laugh at something you said.
When you were done with work Jake would take you out and grab convenience store food for you two to eat in the park. It was in those moments that you both got vulnerable with each other, sharing all of your life stories, good and bad ones. Every night you call Sohee and rant about how scared you are of catching feelings for him, even though you knew you were already in deep, and she always reassured you that you shouldn’t feel like that as it’s only natural and what has to happen, will happen. Whatever you were feeling with Jake, is something you never felt with anyone before, as cliché as it can be, but your past dating history left a huge mark on you and you had a tendency to shut people out when they got too close, until now. The boys noticed a subtle shift in the way you and Jake interacted, but still, they only observed from afar, never intruding on whatever was happening between you two. It felt kind of weird for them to see Jake behaving that way around someone who wasn’t part of his friend group or more specifically with a girl, but deep down they felt happy seeing their friend finally letting himself loosen up.
The day at the shop was going smoothly, it was a bad day of work for Heeseung. There were no clients coming up and everyone except him was sitting around playing cards or just talking to each other as he finished fixing one car. You were sat at a table with Sunoo and Sunghoon, your hands covering your ears as they kept asking questions you didn’t wanna hear and less likely answer. “Come on, y/n!” Sunoo said pulling your hands out of your ears, making you roll your eyes. “I don’t like him, ok?” You sighed, “I literally met him, like, not even two weeks ago. I don’t even know him like that.” “y/n, you know damn well it’s not like that.” Sunghoon said leaning back in his chair. “Just admit you like him!” “Like who?” The three of you looked back to find Jake walking towards you with his hands in his pockets. “No one, I don’t like anyone.” You said closing your eyes as you propped your head in your hand. Jake looked at Sunghoon, as the latter smirked at him, making you glare not-so discreetly at him. Jake sat in a free chair next to you and the two other men thought it was a good idea to stand up and walk away, leaving you two alone.
“Bad work day?” He started. “Yeah, something like that.” You sighed, playing with a paper cup in front of you. “It’s just the end of the month and most people are on vacation by now so it was expected.” Jake hummed, an idea coming up to him. “So you have nothing to do, right?” You looked at him wondering why he was asking that. “Uh, yeah, I don’t.” You answered nodding at him. He got up, extending a hand to you. “Come.” He said as he smiled and nodded his head towards his way. You hesitated in grabbing his hand and getting up as he dragged you to his car. “But, the other we need to tell-” “Don’t worry ‘bout that. We’ll be quick.” Jake said as he opened his car door for you. You looked at the car and then at him, making him nod at you, urging you to get in. Jake sat in the driver's seat with a happy sigh. He looked at him, watching as you admired his car, gently touching the leather seats, feeling the wealth in your touch. You looked around the car in awe, making him giggle at your antics. You turned to look at him with a blush and a small smile, feeling shy he caught you as you admired his expensive car. He turned the keys, making the engine purr as you felt the seats vibrate with the loud sound. “Wow!” You said with a gasp “It feels so different when you’re actually inside the car.” You looked at him as he drove out of the shop’s driveway. “Yeah, I felt that too when I first drove it.” He said with a chuckle. “Where are you taking me?” You asked curiously. “You’ll see, princess. Enjoy the ride for now.” He answered as he chose a song to play for the ride.
You looked out of your window, seeing the sun almost setting, making the sky turn into an orange explosion. The ride was silent, a comfortable silence, and you found yourselves in an empty road, no words needed to be spoken as you admired the view ahead of you. You rolled your window down, laying your head on the edge of the door. Jake looked at you, admiring your hair that flew freely with the wind and how your eyes were shining in awe and you wore a smile. He looked back to the front and he bit a smile back, failing to do so as the corners of his lips curled upwards. Jake was now driving towards a kind of abyss. He stopped the car, turning off the engine. “Is this it?” You asked making him nod at you with a smile. You both walked out of the car and sat in its hood. You gasped at the view in front of you. You could see the whole city from above. All the tall skyscrapers looked tiny and the street lights were only small dots on a canvas. The sky above showed a pink and orange painting, and the sun had almost fully set.
“Jake” he looked at you, admiring your side profile “This is beautiful.” You finished, looking at him with a big grin, making him mirror your actions. You looked back ahead as you scooted closer to him in the hood of the car, feeling your shoulder touch his. Jake smiled to himself, not daring to look your way to avoid doing something he would regret. “Thank you.” You said looking at him, seeing how his eyes slightly widened. He looked down at his feet, feeling his ears get hotter “It’s nothing really.” “How did you even find this place?” You wondered. “This is gorgeous!” Jake finally looked at you, examining your face, sensing you were asking a genuine question and not just a rhetorical one. “Well,” He started with a sigh. “I usually come here to kind of unwind a little.” He said kicking some rocks on the floor. “It just tunes me out the rest of the world. I feel the best when I’m here.”
He felt the urge to keep talking as he felt you still looking at the side of his head. “Normally when I have a big argument with my dad I just come here and let everything out. No one comes here since it’s far from the city so now it’s my comfort place and I’ve never brought anyone here except for you.” He stopped talking, looking at you, seeing you with empathetic eyes. “Thank you for sharing that with me Jake.” You rubbed his back in a comforting way “I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me all that, I know it’s not easy to deal with those kinds of problems, even if I never went through them myself. I hope you know I’m a shoulder you can lean on when you need one. You shouldn’t keep those thoughts to yourself.” Jake felt his eyes getting teary as he heard you talk. “I really appreciate that, y/n. I just feel like you give me so much of you and I never really shared something really intimate, so I thought this would feel just right.” He said holding his tears. You smiled at him, pulling his arm, grabbing it as you leaned your head on his shoulder, looking back to the view as a comfortable silence fell over you two. Jake’s head leaned in yours and he felt a soft bubble form in his chest, making him close his eyes and take a deep breath in of the fresh air that danced around both of your hairs.
The sun fully set after a while. Stars started appearing in the dark sky. “Look,” You said pointing to the sky “The first star of the night. Make a wish!” You finished as you looked at Jake. “A wish?” You nodded “Alright if you say so.” Both of you closed your eyes and put your hands together as you made your wishes. Jake opened his eyes to look at you, seeing you with your eyes closed and a giddy smile on your lips. You opened your eyes, looking at Jake only to find him already looking down at you, the summer breeze made his hair move beautifully. “What did you wish for?” he asked “Can’t tell you, it won’t come true if I do.” Jake chuckled at your answer, making you do the same. You both stared into each other eyes, not daring to look away as if you were in some trance with each other's eyes, giving you time to appreciate each other’s features. You couldn’t understand how people could view Jake as a bad being. Since the moment you both started getting closer, he was nothing but a sweetheart to you and besides that, you saw how he treated the other boys as well, always being caring with them, giving them food when one of them didn’t have enough or going as far as secretly ordering take out for Ni-ki when he had forgotten to pack his own lunch. They didn’t know him in reality. If they had seen him with your eyes they would know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone or anything purposely. They couldn’t see the sparkle in his eyes when he saw dogs playing in the park or the way his tongue would slightly poke his pouty lips when he focused on something. If only they could see him the way you do.
Your phone suddenly buzzed in your pocket, making you break the intense eye contact that seemed to last an eternity. You looked at the contact ID seeing it was your mom calling you, making you silently curse under your breath. “Hey, mom.” You turned to Jake, mouthing him a Sorry which he dismissed with a shake of his head. “Uh…” Your eyes started moving around nervously “I, uh, I’m with Jake, Mom.” You hissed, scratching the back of your neck. Your mom started going off excitedly about how she was right about him, making you roll your eyes, hoping the said man couldn’t hear what she was saying. “Um, Mom, I don’t- okay wait.” You turned to Jake with a sigh “You wanna come over for dinner?” You asked him, making him still for a moment. “Uh, sure, I mean, why not.” He answered shrugging, something you weren’t really expecting, but deep down you were kind of glad he had accepted. “Okay, he’s coming. Yeah, see you, bye Mom.” You hung up, standing up and looking at Jake. He only looked at you, not knowing what to say. “C’mon.” You pulled him off the hood “We got dinner waiting for us.”
You were driving back to the city, immersed in a conversation about various topics. “Also, I’m gonna warn you about my mom, she can be a little too much sometimes, so sorry in advance.” Jake laughed at your words. “Don’t say that. I’m pretty sure she means well.” He said looking at you. “If that makes you feel better about meeting her, then sure Jake, whatever you say.” Shortly after, Jake was pulling into your house’s driveway, making you feel nervous, the fact that he was meeting your parents finally sinking in. You don’t know why you felt like this, you two weren’t even dating. You walked to your front door and searched for the keys that were somewhere lost in your bag. Suddenly the door burst open, making you squeal in surprise as you almost tripped and if it weren’t for Jake you would’ve fallen on your butt. “Oh, what gentleman he is!” The door was fully open, revealing your mom who was now cooing at Jake. “Mom, don't.” you said in a warning tone, making her wave her hand at you dismissingly. “Oh, you must be Jake.” She said grabbing him by the arms “Come in you two.” She invited, making space for you to enter the house. “How was day, dear?” Your mom asked, making you break the mad face you were making at her with a small smile. “It was okay. We didn’t have any clients today which is not good for the shop.” “Oh, that must be really frustrating for you guys.” She said furrowing her brows in a worried way. “Anyways, let’s get to the kitchen. The food’s getting cold.” She smiled warmly at you two as she dragged you both to the kitchen. “Is dad not home?” You said with a small pout. “Oh no, he’s out for that company dinner he had. You know it.” You nodded at her letting out an Oh as you remember your father talking about it.
Jake tried to hide it, but as small as this interaction was, it was still a very domestic one. Those were the interactions he longed for but they never came to him. He felt a pang in his chest but your mom’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Give me your plate, dear. I’ll serve you.” She said smiling warmly at him, making him mirror her expression. Your mom seemed so sweet and he genuinely wanted to enjoy this small moment.
The three of you talked comfortably throughout the night. Jake was able to get those negative thoughts out of his head for a while as he interacted with you both. He loved watching you talk with your mom, seeing the way your eyes light up when she says something that makes you laugh. Just watching that made him smile, which didn’t go unnoticed by your mom. Jake saw his phone light up on the table with a text from his dad asking him where he was and another from a contact he promised himself to never answer again. This made his whole good mood disappear and he just felt like going home. He felt guilty to do this but felt the need to be alone and forget about those texts.
“Everything alright?” you asked with a worried expression, just then he noticed he had his brows pressed tightly together. “Oh um, yeah, just my dad texting me.” He said smiling at you, guilt eating him up, but deep down he wasn’t lying, just not telling the whale truth, which made him feel shitty. “It’s getting late so maybe I should go. Thank you for the meal, it was really good!” He got up, grabbing his jacket from the chair. You got up as well and followed him to your front door as your mom stayed in the kitchen cleaning up. “Hey,” You said grabbing his attention “Are you sure you’re alright? You looked pretty tense back there.” You asked in a worried tone. He sighed, nodding at you. “Yes, princess. Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you when I get home, yeah?” You nodded at him and you bid your goodbyes. Before he could leave, you grabbed his wrist. “Thank you for today, really.” You smiled widely at him, making him chuckle at you “You’re welcome, princess. Good night.” You let his hand go as you waved at him before closing the door. You turned around to see your mom leaning on the kitchen door. You held your hand up “Don’t even start, ok?” you said not wanting to have that conversation. “Dind’t day a word, honey.” She said smiling at you. “Whatever. Goodnight, Mom.” “Goodnight, dear.”
You let yourself fall into the comfort of your bed with a sigh. You grabbed your phone, seeing a notification from Jake, making you quickly tap on it.
jake <3: thank you for tonight, princess :)
jake <3: sorry for leaving so suddenly. my dad texted me and you know how it is…
you: jake you don’t need to thank me
you: we were both glad to have you eat with us and dont worry about that i totally understand
you: im gonna head to sleep now. goodnight jake :)
jake <3: goodnight princess:)
The next day at work you felt kind of uneasy. The way Jake left your house yesterday left you with an unsettling feeling. You didn’t know what his dad had texted him and you surely weren’t gonna ask him, you were in no place to do that. It was already 5:30 pm and Jake still hadn’t stopped by the shop, something unusual since he always comes by lunchtime. You didn’t want to think too much of it and tried to convince yourself that he was just busy. As you were cleaning up a car you just finished fixing, you heard footsteps coming towards you, making you look to see Heeseung and Sunghoon. “Lover boy didn’t come today, huh?” Sunghoon said making you roll your eyes before turning to look at them, now standing up from your crouching position. “He’s not my lover and you know that damn well.” you said propping your hand on your hip. “Yet!” Heeseung says with a stupid grin on his face.
“Anyways, we’re going to this party tonight and we wanted to invite you so you better be there.” the older male said. “Uh, I don’t know, guys. I’m not really-” “Not in the mood, yeah we know. Same story and it’s not working today. You are going today, no excuses.” Sunghoon paused for a while “You know, Jake’s gonna be there.” he said with a smirk. You lightly tapped your foot on the floor, knowing you didn’t really have a choice other than going and if you ended up going you would see Jake. Not that you missed him, maybe just a little bit though. “Fine, I guess I can go.” you sighed, crossing your arms “Where and when?” Heeseung gave you the details about the party, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with Jake there. Even if you were still kind of sour about him not coming, you were sure he had a good reason not to, right?
You walked up to your mirror, checking yourself out one last time before leaving. You lightly rubbed your finger under your lips, cleaning a lipstick smudge. You looked at your outfit, a simple lace, black corset-like top paired with some black leather pants and black heels. The top felt a little too revealing for you, but you decided to come out of your comfort zone for once and try new things. You felt pretty. Your hair was just right, your makeup looked flawless and your outfit was tight just in the right places, flattering your silhouette. Tonight was the night and you were going to enjoy it to the fullest. Sohee had previously texted you, informing you she would also be there with Heeseung, which made you less stressed about this party. You drove to the address Heeseung had texted you, the clock showed 11:45, a reminder that you were 15 minutes late. “Typical y/n, am I right?” you mumbled to yourself when you stopped at a red light. Taking one last turn, you saw a sign with the name of the bar Hee had told you. You parked your car and walked towards the entrance, feeling the biting wind hit your skin, making you regret not taking a small coat with you. You entered the bar and it was already almost full since it was almost midnight. You passed and pushed through the crowd of people Excuses me’s and Sorry’s leaving your lips as you did so. Finally, you were able to spot a tall ash blond who could only be Heeseung and walked towards him.
“Hey and before you scold me, yes I know I’m late.” you said as you and Sohee hugged before taking a seat next to Jay. “Wouldn’t expect any different from you.” Sunghoon said making you let out Shup up to him. You looked around and saw everyone there except for one person. “Where’s Jake?” you asked still looking around, failing to notice the exchange of looks between the four of them. “He’s- Well, he is with some guys from the soccer team, yeah.” Sungoon said, a nervous smile dancing on his lips, making you tilt your head at him “Weird.” you thought out loud. “But don’t worry!” Sunoo said, making you look at him “He’ll probably be here… soon.” “Okay?” you answered, looking at Sohee who was just as confused as you were. There was an unfamiliar tension in the booth and before you could think further about it Heeseung spoke up “No more talking. Let’s get the night started and get drinks!” Everyone got up, greedy to finally get some alcohol in their systems, maybe that’s what you needed. You reached the counter and Heeseung ordered tequila shots for everyone. The shots were gone as quickly as they came and everyone was thirsting for more so Sunghoon ordered six more of the same.
You and Sohee made your way towards the dance floor full of sweating bodies. You were buzzing inside with the little alcohol in your system and the lights were making you dazed in the best way possible. It had been a long time since you and Sohee hung out like this and you were enjoying this just as much as she was. You had your arms thrown over her shoulders as she hugged your waist and you both swayed to whatever music was playing. The boys were looking at you with pure amusement on their faces, never having seen you like this but they were glad you were enjoying this night so far. Your body felt hot from the heat radiating from everyone around you. You saw couples kissing and grinding against each other and it made your mind wander to Jake and wonder if you and he were ever gonna dance like that like it was just the two of you in the room with no one to interrupt you both. You and your best friend went back to the counter to order drinks for yourselves while the boys went back to the booth.
“Can I get two Pink Whitneys with Sprite, please?” the bartender nodded at you before leaving to prepare the drinks. “Was wondering if you could still party, y/n” Sohee told you laughing. “Oh, shut up. It hasn’t been that long.” You both turned back to the counter when you heard the bartender speak. “For the pretty ladies.” He said putting the drinks in front of you, both of you mumbling Thanks in return. You closed your eyes as you savoured the drink you hadn’t tasted in a long time. “God, I forgot how much I love this.” You said taking a big sip of the pink drink. “Brings back old memories doesn’t it?” Sohee said leaning back as if she was having a flashback. Even though you were a stay-at-home person, back in the first years of college you went partying almost every night since Sohee was a social butterfly and always made sure to bring you along to whatever party she was invited to. Every time Heeseung would host a party, he made sure to have a hidden bottle of Pink Whitney in a small fridge that only he and the boys knew of for you and Sohee. You laughed at her as you tilted the cup towards her for a toast. “For old time’s sake.” She clinked her glass with yours “For old time’s sake!” she said before finishing her drink in one big gulp as she did the same.
You two got up, making your way to the booth the guys were at. Your vision was starting to blur from all the drinks you had. Only had your low alcohol tolerance to blame. You were trying to walk through the crowd when you spotted a familiar brunette in the middle of it. “Look! Jake’s there, let’s say hi!” you said pushing Sohee towards his way. The grin you had on your face started to slowly fade as your steps got slower. The closer you got to Jake the stronger the pang in your chest grew. You squeezed Sohee’s hand trying to get her attention but she had already seen enough. You two stood there watching as a girl eagerly kissed Jake’s neck, his face was hidden since he was looking opposite from where you were. “Jake?” You felt a pull on your heartstrings and a whimper left your quivering lips when Jake turned his head to the side and made eye contact with you. His face wasn’t showing any emotions previously, quickly contorted with shock as a gasp left his lips, making him immediately push the girl away. Still, Sohee was quicker to pull you away from where you were standing. She was letting out some curses on her way to the booth, something that you couldn’t hear.
When you finally reached the other boys they all were looking at you with worried expressions. Their eyes flickered between each other and you were finally able to catch on what was happening when you arrived. “You guys knew?” you said with a choked sob. None of them were saying a word, making your blood boil when you got your answer. “You all fucking knew this whole time.” you screamed, pointing your finger at them accusingly. “How long has it been going on?” Jay was quick to speak up. “It was just today.” he started. “We didn’t know she was gonna be here and I don’t think Jake knew either.” You were starting to get even more confused “What do you mean she?” you asked shaking your head. They all looked at each other not knowing what to say. “Heeseung, did you know about this?” Sohee asked her boyfriend, and he quickly shook his head no. “No, i swear. None of us knew and as he said it was probably a not-so-pleasant surprise for Jake as well.” Knowing that everyone knew who she was and they weren’t explaining it to you was leaving you irritated and you just wanted to leave. “Sohee can we just go home.” you quietly asked and she ran a hand down your back in a soothing manner. “Yeah, give me your car keys, I’ll drive.” You both turned to leave, no words were exchanged apart from a Drive safely from Heeseung.
When you sat in your car you felt like something exploded inside you as you started sobbing uncontrollably. You hid your face in your hands as you started sobbing. Sohee reached for you, holding you in her embrace. “I don’t even know why I’m crying it’s not like we had something.” you said trying to wipe your tears but they just kept coming. “Y/n, it wouldn’t take a genius to see that something was going on between you two. I can’t honestly understand why Jake would be with someone else, especially her.” “Will anyone ever tell me who she is?” you said in an annoyed tone. Sohee sighed as she sat back in the driver’s seat. “That girl was Aerin. Jake and her were in a weird situationship, kind of friends with benefits but not quite that. They had that going on for almost a year but he eventually broke it off because he finally opened his eyes and realized how much of a bitch she was, even though we were warning him since the beginning.” she paused with a sigh. “She didn’t take it very well since she had always been possessive with him but we thought she finally had gotten over it, it’s been, like, a year and something?” she turned to look at you, seeing you with your head propped in your knees. She raised her hand to cup your cheek, brushing it softly with her thumb.
“I just don’t understand why he would do this, after all that we’ve been through.” You said feeling tears coming back, pooling in your eyes. “Sohee, I let all of my guard down for him, I told him my everything and this feels like history is repeating itself, you know?” You told her as memories from your history with your ex brought you a sour feeling “Y/n, whatever happened between you and Jeno is long behind, I thought we had already talked about this.” “I am over it, Sohee! But seeing Jake do this is just bringing all those feelings back. Six months right after I opened up to Jeno I find out he was cheating on me with the girl I shouldn’t worry about and now when I finally feel like I can commit to someone again, I see Jake like that, how is that fair to me?” you said turning into a sobbing mess again. Your whole body was shaking and Sohee felt her heart shatter seeing her best friend like this.
“Y/n, I know this really isn’t the right time to say this but I’ve known Jake for as long as I’ve been dating Heeseung and I can’t understand why he is doing this. This really isn’t like him, at all.” She rubbed your back “I’m more than sure he will explain himself to you soon. This just doesn't sit right with me.” You wiped your eyes as you sniffed “I don’t want to see him anytime soon, Sohee.” She smiled sadly at you. “I know, honey, But you know it will eventually happen right? It’s inevitable.” You nodded at her, knowing she was right. “Let’s go home yeah? You can stay at mine today. Don’t want you dealing with this alone.”
Sohee drove off as you stared out the window. Millions of thoughts were running through your head and you felt like it was about to explode. Eventually, you fell asleep during the ride and only woke up when Sohee softly shook you when you arrived. You both entered her apartment, being immediately greeted by her cat who was rubbing herself in your legs. You crouched down to her level, rubbing behind her fluffy white ears, making her purr. Oh to be a cat. Sohee gave you one of her pyjamas for you to sleep in and some makeup wipes, knowing you probably wouldn’t even bother to take it off. You both slipped into her bed, sleeping together like you two would back in the day. You laid back against the headboard as she texted Heeseung to update him. Your own phone buzzed on the bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a notification that normally you would be excited to answer, but not today. You read the texts Jake had sent you.
jake <3: y/n please
jake <3: i know what it looks like but it isn’t like that
jake <3: let me explain please
jake <3: you know id never hurt you.
You dropped your phone in your lap as you rubbed your eyes with your hands, starting to sniff again. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop the tears as you sighed and leaned back against the headboard. Sohee looked at your phone and then at you, making her sigh. “Where did i go wrong? I must’ve done something really bad in my past life to deserve this.” “Y/n, cut the nonsense, you don’t deserve this, ok?” she said grabbing your arms and turning to look at her. “You’re gonna get through this with me and when you’re ready you’re gonna go back to work and maybe talk with Jake, yeah?” You took a deep breath before nodding at her. “Good. Now you’re gonna rest and tomorrow we’ll see what’s gonna happen.” She grabbed your phone and turned it off, putting it on her bedside table. She turned the light off and you let your head fall into the pillow with a sigh. You stared at the ceiling, trying to shake off all the thoughts going through your head until you felt your eyes closing on their own.
The weekend had gone by slowly. You had texted your mom after everything happened to tell her you were gonna stay at Sohee’s for a few days. All you did was mop around the house and lay in your friend’s bed all day, only getting up when you really needed to. You were sure you were sleeping more than 12 hours a day and still felt like the energy was drowning out of you. Sohee tried to get you to go out and encourage you to go to work to help you forget things but the anxiety you felt at the possibility of encountering Jake was keeping you from doing so. You knew that staying home all day and doing nothing until Sohee came back from work wasn’t gonna help you in any way and you honestly wanted to do something about it but you had no energy to do anything. You walked to the kitchen for nth time that day, placing your cereal bowl on the sink with an accidental loud thud, making you hiss. You sighed as you looked at the mess of plates and cutlery you had accumulated in the sink within just a day. “God, what am I doing.” You said talking to yourself. You stared into nothingness as you got in deep thought. Being like this wasn’t gonna take you anywhere and avoiding situations where you might meet Jake won’t either. So, you made the final decision that you were going to work tomorrow, no matter what. You looked at the clock on the kitchen’s wall and saw it was already 6:30 pm, so without any more self pity you walked to the bathroom to take a shower, determined to get back to your usual work routine. You stared at your figure in the mirror and almost apologized to yourself as you took in your messy and unkempt appearance. You entered the shower and let the warm water fall on your tense shoulders. Sighing, you let your head lean into the shower wall as your body shook with a sob when Jake filled your mind again. Had he tried texting you anymore after that night? You couldn’t really know since you had blocked him on your social media. Was he hurting the way you did? What had really happened? Maybe you were overreacting all this. You should’ve let him explain himself. Dumb y/n, so dumb.
Jake felt horrible. You really had to come near him at the wrong moment and see something that really wasn’t what it looked like. But he should’ve known the moment she texted him the night he was at your house she was serious. Why couldn’t Aerin just get over the fact they weren’t together anymore, as if they were ever actually together. In his head, it was starting to be too good to be true. As if he was ever gonna get lucky with someone like you. Of course, he had to fuck it up in any way. It’s all your fault, Jake. This was all you. Those words kept repeating themselves in his head as he laid in his bed as his whole body was filled with piercing anxiety. He didn’t know what else to do. He called Heeseung and said you still hadn’t gone to work that week.
The boys knew about the situation and Jake always tried to explain himself while he cried on the phone with any of the guys, even if they reassured him they believed him every day. He should’ve known better than to get involved with Aerin in the first place. He had always been warned about it so why did he still do it? Why couldn’t he just do anything right. The past few days were spent with Jake lying in his bed as he cried and cried for as long as he could. All the feelings he bottled up for so long left his body, making his whole self shake. When he finally was able to open up fully to you, he had it all taken away, knowing you had let your whole guard down for him. He knew you weren’t doing any better than him and that hurt him even more. Knowing he couldn’t be the one to hold you and comfort you was killing. Jake knew he couldn’t stay like this forever and all he wanted to do nothing more than reach out to you and tell you his truth but he knew he had to give you space. So he waits for as long as he needs to because he is not letting you go because of her, he wasn’t letting that happen.
You woke up at the same time as Sohee. The moment you opened your eyes you instantly felt a pang in your chest, knowing you had to go to work today. You threw your arm over your eyes as you sighed. Sohee looked at you as she rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. “Good morning.” she told you to which you only answered with a grumble making her chuckle at you. She got out of bed, opening her curtains, making you squint at the bright light invading the room. “C’mon, get up. You need to get ready.” You sighed again at her words before sitting up on the bed. After you both got ready for work, you sat down at the table as you had breakfast together. “So,” Sohee said mid-chew “are you ready for today?” You looked at her as you sipped on your coffee. “I mean, no. But as you said I can’t keep avoiding him and it’s better if we talk already than not.” You answered as your fork played with the blueberries on your plate. “You got this, yeah?” Sohee reached for your hand across the table. You inhaled as you felt your eyes water but you held yourself back. You nodded at her as you whispered a Yeah in response to her.
You left around 10 am which was the time Sohee usually left for work. As you made your way to the shop, anxiety started bubbling up in your chest, making you take deep breaths to try and keep yourself together. There’s nothing to worry about. If Jake ended up showing up at the shop you guys were just gonna talk, or maybe not. Maybe he will explain to you and assure you it was not what it looked like or maybe he wasn’t and it was exactly what it looked like. “Well, shit.” you said to yourself as you arrived at the shop. You parked your car, seeing everyone already there. You stepped out of the car, taking a deep breath of the fresh morning air breeze around you. You walked inside and there stood Heeseung and Sunghoon staring at you with warm smiles. “Hey guys!” you greeted. You walked towards them and Sunghoon pulled you into a hug, making you let out a shaky breath. “How’ve you been, dummy?” He asked, letting you go of his arms. “Well, y’know, not good. But! I’m here to change that and yes I’m going to avoid that conversation, if you don’t mind.” They nodded their heads at you, Right and Of course! were their only answers before you asked Heeseung if there was any work for you to which he assigned you to check a car’s engine and gasket.
You got right to work and you were glad you could distract yourself for most of the time. The car needed to get his gasket changed and it wasn’t an easy task so you needed to have your full focus on it. Working made the day go by faster and you barely had time to lunch as you were so immersed in the task you were assigned to do. Sometimes Ni-ki would linger around you, mostly joking around as you worked, keeping you company, which you were glad he did. If anyone had told you you would’ve ended up getting a summer job at a mechanic shop and befriending the six workers you wouldn’t believe it. But you couldn’t be more glad that you did, you had quickly made six precious friendships with six boys who were all you could ask for in a friend. As someone who never found befriending people easy, you were quite proud of yourself as you had found six treasures in only a lifetime. You knew you could always rely on them, and despite the age gap between the two younger ones, you still would trust them with your life nonetheless.
You felt sweat dripping down your forehead as you worked, making you get up from your bent-over position to wipe the sweat with your forearm, adjusting the strap from your overall that was slipping off your shoulder. “God.” You sighed loudly. Heeseung slid from underneath a car to check on you, “Everything ok?” he asked sitting up. “I guess. Just this thing is harder than I thought it would be.” You said putting your hands on your hips as you stared at the engine in thought. You knew this was gonna be hard, but one wrong move you would need to do it all over. Heeseung got up and walked to where you stood staring at the car. “I think you’re going on the right path. Nothing is looking wrong or weird so keep going.” He said patting your back “You’re doing well, you always do.” You chuckled at his words “You flatter me, Lee.” He laughed at your words “All for the best of my wor-”
His words were cut off by the roar of an engine. A familiar Ford Mustang pulled up in the driveway. Your breath stopped for a while until you felt Heeseung get his hand off your back. “I think I should go somewhere else…” You nodded at him, fully understanding why he was doing it. You pretended to go back to work, trying to convince yourself that Jake wouldn’t come over to you if you did that. You heard footsteps getting closer to you and you felt your breath pick up its pace. You got this. “Hey…” You heard the deep yet soft voice say. You looked up to see Jake smiling softly at you and you almost teared up at that. You tried to reciprocate the smile but you were sure it came out shaky. “Hi, Jake.” You said nodding at him. Your gaze drifted from his figure, trying to look at anything but him, as you fiddled with your fingers. “Nice patch!” He said chuckling, making you blush as you stared at the Care Bears patch placed upon your knee. “There was ripped so my mom put it on for me.” You said still not looking at him, making him mutter a Cute under his breath, which you almost missed. “Why are you here?” You asked, looking at his face, but you knew damn well why he was here. Jake took a shaky breath in as he leaned against the wall behind him, his own gaze now avoiding yours.
“I guess- No, I know and I need to explain myself to you.” He started, gulping his anxiety away. “What you saw that night wasn’t something anyone would expect that would happen. I mean, I should’ve had to be honest. The night I went to have dinner with you and your mother I told you I had received a text from my father. Which isn’t a lie, because I did, but you also deserved to know that Aerin had also texted me.” His eyes finally met yours with an apologetic gaze. Your face was contorted in confusion and you waited for him to explain it further. “She somehow found out that you and I had been hanging out and that there was something between us and she texted me some nonsense about knowing I still wanted and was using you as a rebound.” You stared at the ground hearing those words. “Was I a rebound to you Jake?” You asked quietly “No!” He answered with no hesitation “Of course not! And I hope you never felt that way because all I did for you was genuine.” his hand twitched, Jake wanted to reach out to you but he knew he still had further explaining to do. “Going on. That night I was supposed to go out with guys from my soccer team as well as the guys here but Aerin somehow was involved with some of the guys in the team and joined as well. The moment you started approaching me she threw herself at me and started doing whatever she was doing and before I could react and push her away you had already seen it.” His voice became shaky as he played that moment back in his head. “And I would and never will blame you for reacting the way you did. If I was in that position I would do the same, most likely.” Tears started falling from your eyes as you heard him talk.
Your chest was tight with guilt. You felt bad for what you did to him. He didn’t deserve to go through what you made him go through. You sniffed as you tried to wipe the stubborn tears that kept falling. Jake took a step closer to you, feeling his own eyes water at the sight of your miserable state. “Baby, please don’t cry.” The pet name left his lips before he could think about it but you didn’t seem to have heard it or mind it. “Jake I’m so sorry.” You said between hiccups of sobs “Please, please forgive me. I probably made you go through hell when you didn’t even do anything. I was so selfish.” Your cries got louder as you spoke and you didn’t even care if the boys could hear you. “Y/n, no! Stop apologizing. It was not your fault, ok? You aren’t the one to blame. You weren’t the one causing this, Aering was.” He said pulling you into his embrace. The knot on your chest broke as you finally felt his comforting touch and scent that you loved so much. “I would forgive you in a heartbeat if you had anything to apologize for, but you don't, you hear me?” You looked up at him, sniffling softly as you nodded at him. Jake cupped your face to wipe your tears as he smiled softly at you. “I’m sorry I made you go through all of this.” You saw the tears pooling in his eyes, making you cup his cheek.
“Are we ok now?” He asked, worry still lingering in his tone. You smiled widely at him as you furiously nodded your head “Yes! God, Jake, of course!” You said chuckling between sniffs. He laughed along with you as he stared into your eyes endearingly. Your breath calmed down as you both stared into each other eyes. None of you making a move to look away. Your eyes drifted from his eyes to his lips and you caught a glimpse of him doing the same. You don’t know who was the first to move but suddenly your lips were on his as you two share a long-awaited kiss. Your arms went around his neck as his hands were still cupping your cheeks. You leaned your head to the side to deepen the kiss. Jake let out a happy sigh into the kiss, making you smile against his lips. You both pulled away and you let your eyes look around the room to avoid his gaze. Jake laughed at you and you buried your face into his neck to hide the crimson red spreading on your cheeks. Jake pulled you off of him and held your hand as he started pushing you outside. “Let’s go.” He said nodding towards his car. “Jake I can’t I have to finish-” “Don’t worry about that. I’m pretty sure Heeseung won’t mind.” You were hesitant but still let him drag you to his car. “Ok- wait. Slow down, oh my God. Isn’t this kidnapping? Geez!” You said scowling lightly at him at the eagerness he was pushing you with. “Stop talking nonsense, silly.”
The boys finally gathered around the entrance as they heard Jake’s car leave with you both inside it. “Well, it was kinda awkward.” Jungwon said breaking the silence. Sunoo rolled his eyes, slapping the boy's arm. “What? It’s true!” He said raising his hands in surrender. Silene took over again as everyone tried to process what had just happened. “If all it takes to leave work early is to argue with my girlfriend then I’m down.” “Ni-ki, shut the fuck up.”
You were anxious for today. Even though Jake has been countless times at your house and had dinner with your parents just as much, you’ve never been at his house, let alone met his parents. But it would change today, Jake had called you today, inviting you to have dinner with his parents at his house. As much as you wanted to refuse, you knew you couldn’t, you couldn’t delay this moment any longer, sooner or later it was gonna happen and it was happening today. You didn’t know how to really feel about it. From what Jake told you, you knew his dad wasn’t the best person but you didn’t know much about his mom. You felt anxiety creeping up your body as you got ready for the night. You tried to look the most presentable you could for Jake’s parents, not wanting to leave a bad first impression.
Your phone buzzed in your bed, you picked it up and saw Jake’s text telling you he was outside. You looked at your reflection one last time before grabbing your purse and leaving. When you got outside you were met with the breathtaking sight of Jake leaning against his car, looking like he just came from a cliché teenage movie. His skin was glowing with the bright sunshine, complementing his skin colour to perfection. His full black outfit was hugging in all the right places, making him look like a runway model. Jake noticed your staring, making him laugh silently. “You know you can take a closer look, right?” His words made you roll your eyes, despite feeling your cheeks grow hot. “You’re so cocky, Jake.” You said as you walked towards him, stopping in front of him as you leaned in for a peck. Jake hummed against your lips, holding your face to kiss you deeper. You tapped his cheek and pulled away, eyeing him with a warning stare. “We have places to be, young man.” Jake sighed at your words and you both got in the car.
Throughout the car ride, Jake noticed your fidgeting hands and he knew you were nervous. He put his hand on top of yours, still looking at the road ahead of him. “There’s nothing to be worried about, y/n” He said in a quiet voice, making you look at him at the sudden words. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking back to the road. “I know. It’s just- I don’t even know why I’m nervous.” You answered chuckling humorlessly. Jake gave your hand a squeeze, giving you a silent reassurance. “I know that from what I say about my dad he sounds scary but he can be nice sometimes and I’m sure he will be pretty okay with you, so don’t think too much about it, yeah? Besides my mom’s gonna be there so it won’t be as bad.” You nodded and smiled at him, leaning on the center console to peck his cheek, making him smile.
Soon enough, you both reached his parent’s house. You felt your heart starting to race as soon as you stepped out of the car. Jake walked beside you, grabbing your hand, holding it tightly against his. Something in him was telling you he was nervous as well and it made you look at him with worried eyes. You both stopped at the front door, looking at each other. Jake smiled at you, nodding his head towards the door, making you take a deep breath as you nodded back at him. He rang the doorbell, the sound echoing in the loud silence as you both waited impatiently.
The door finally opened, revealing a beautiful woman. She didn’t look any older than 45, her skin was smooth with barely any wrinkles adorning it, only faint ones that marked her joyful smile. Her hair had a chestnut tone to it and the perfectly styled curls reached her shoulders. “Jake, my love.” She said as she pulled the said man into her embrace. “I’ve missed you so much!” Jake smiled as he looked at her with a grin. “Missed you too, mom.” He said lovingly pecking her forehead. “Oh, goodness. You must be y/n, I’m Sooyoung! So glad to meet you dear!” She said pulling you in a hug, making you smile at her as you felt the nerves slowly leaving your body. “Yes, I am! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” You told her, as she held your hands in her’s. “You know, Jake sounded so excited to finally introduce you to us, he would always talk about you when he called.” You heard Jake groan beside you. “Mom!” “What? I’m just saying!” She said laughing at his son “Anyways, come inside. Dinner is almost ready!” She leads you both inside the house. “Do you need help with anything?” You asked her “Oh no, dear! Don’t worry, everything’s almost done. You both wait in the leaving room while I finish it.”
Jake took you to the living room, where his father sat on the couch as he watched whatever news channel was playing. He cleared his throat, making his father loom at you both. “Hey, dad. This is y/n, my girlfriend.” Jake said introducing you to the older man. “Hi, sir. It’s nice to meet you!” You said bowing slightly at him, wiping your sweaty hands in the back of your pants. Jake’s father got up, walking towards the both of you. His straight lips formed a slight smile as he pulled you into a hug, making you let out a surprised sound. “It’s nice to see the girl my son can’t shut up about. Can’t say I’m not surprised to see my son could keep up with a girl like you.” You felt shy at his words, not really knowing what to say. “Ah, I’m sure it’s not like that.” You said rubbing your arm anxiously. He then walked to Jake, shaking hands with his son, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “Hope you’ve been behaving well, son.” He said patting his son’s head. “Dad..” Jake said rolling his eyes. The three of you sat on the couch, Jake's dad’s eyes were on the TV but his focus was somewhere else.
“So,” He started. “Where did you two meet?” He asked, turning to look at you two. You looked at Jake and then at his father “We met at my workplace.” You said nodding at him. “You work?” He asked curiously. “Well, it’s a summer job, but yeah I do. Been there for about two and half months maybe?” You smiled at him, rubbing your hands back in forth on your thighs as you tried to ease the nerves. He hummed “And what do you do, may I ask?” “Dad, it’s enough questions.” Jake said but you stopped “It’s okay, Jake.” You said smiling at him. “I’m working at a mechanic shop, which I know it’s not usual as a summer job, but I enjoy it a lot.” His dad opened his mouth to speak but before he could do so, Sooyoung called everyone to the table.
You were all sat at the table peacefully, immersed in a casual conversation. “We should totally book a dinner with your parents y/n, Jake talks about how nice they are when he stays at your house. “ Jake’s mother suggested. “Yeah, I think that would be really nice. They would love it!” You told her, smiling at her as you went back to eating. You noticed Jake had been quiet most of the night, only talking when you were the topic of the conversation. It made you worried that he was behaving this way. You noticed the way his hands were trembling and you wanted nothing more than to comfort him right there and then. You put your utensils down when you finished the meal and one of your hands went to his tigh to rub it in a comforting manner. Jake’s movements faltered when he felt it. His free hand went down to where your hand was placed in his thigh and squeezed it in appreciation. You interlocked your fingers with his and his thumb started rubbing the back of your hand. Jake felt his heart warming up at your actions, looking at you as you spoke with his mother. He smiled, looking down at his empty plate as he tried to hide it.
Jake’s mom got up and walked towards the fridge. “If everyone’s finished, I made dessert!” She said as she put a homemade ice cream bowl on the table. She sat back down and the conversation went on. “y/n I almost forgot to ask! What are you studying?” Sooyung asked as she looked at you. her elbow propped on the table. “Oh, I’m majoring in computer science actually!” You answered with a smile. “I actually share a few classes with Jake.” You said looking at him with a smile, seeing him already looking at you. “Oh really! What a coincidence, isn’t it!” His mother beamed at you. Jake’s father scoffed beside his mother making you snap your head in his direction. “I’m surprised he actually attends classes.” He said looking down at his desert. Jake’s hand tightened almost painfully in your grip.
The tension in the room was thick and if you wanted you could cut it with a knife. Jake’s mother scolded him silently for speaking about it when you were present, but the man couldn’t care less. “Soccer, soccer, soccer. It’s all that goes through that head of his.” He said, finally looking up at his son, who stared at him with a stoic expression. “I work hard every day to give him a stable future and yet he doesn’t even think about pursuing that.” He said with an expression that could be read as disappointment. “Look at his brother. Working a high-paying job, a stable one, and yet, you can’t take it as an example to look up to. Do you really think soccer’s gonna take you anywhere in life?” He asked but he wasn’t really looking for an answer. Your heart felt like it could jump out of your chest with how quick it was beating. Jake’s face was emotionless but his hands were shaking as the force of his own father’s words hit him like rocks. It hurt you to see him take all this and you just couldn’t keep yourself quiet any longer
“You know,” You started “Jake’s really good at what he does best, even if it’s at soccer.” You gulped your nerves down as you continued. “If there’s something my parents never did was interfere in my future. They never once told me I should follow this or that, never. Because nothing was more important than them seeing me do something that makes me happy. If soccer is what he loves doing, then why not let him do that? I don’t know a thing about soccer or sports but if he’s known in almost every national university’s soccer team then he must be damn good at what he does. So why not support him in that? Even if it goes bad for him, which I must say I doubt, he’s going to graduate so there’s always a plan b. Have you ever considered your son’s happiness? I genuinely don’t intend to be disrespectful to you or your company, but is your business more important than your son? You have a son working in that field so why not make him take over it instead of Jake, who clearly doesn’t want to do it?”
You looked at Jake, seeing him look at you with tears pooling in his eyes, making your own eyes water. “Jake deserves nothing but to be happy. If you only could see how much he’s done then maybe you would love him a bit more.” You got up from your chair, the scraping sound made you slightly hiss. Jake understood what you were doing and did the same. “I’m so sorry about this, but I just can’t stand you seeing talk so low of your son. I hope you can reflect a little bit. Again, I’m sorry.” You turned to leave, Jake following behind you.
When the front door shut close, Jake instantly broke down, throwing himself in your embrace. His body shook with broken cries, making you screw your eyes shut as you tried to stop your tears. You held him tightly, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “It’s alright now.” you said in a whisper, your hand coming up to tangle itself in his hair. When his cries died out Jake pulled out of your arms, looking at you. His hands cradled your face, as his eyes scanned your features. He smiled at you, making you mirror his expression. He leaned down as he pecked your lips and your hands came up to hold his that were holding your face. “I’m sorry for, you know, causing all that. I just couldn’t not do anything.” You said looking down. “Hey, don’t apologize. Thank you for that, really.” he said letting out a breath. “It’s better you saying that than me having another screaming match with my father.” He smiled sadly.
“I didn’t know you liked me that much, though.” He joked trying to lighten the mood. “Oh, c’mon Jake, seriously.” You said groaning at him, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He said laughing. “Y’know, I like you that much too.” You felt shy under his gaze, suddenly not able to look in his eyes. “Do you really?” You asked as you kicked tiny rocks on the floor. “Yes, silly. Of course I do…” Jake tensed “Even more than liking, actually.” You looked up at him when he said that, seeing him biting his lips nervously. “What?” You asked, surprised as you felt your heart race. “I- sorry I shouldn’t-” “Jake.” You cut him off, laughing at him. He stared at you wide-eyed, his cheeks flushed and his ears red.
You threw your arms over his shoulder, making a slight force to pull him closer. You smiled up at him. “I love you.” Jake almost choked in his own spit, not expecting to hear those words coming out of your mouth. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to say something. He took a deep breath and put his hands on your waist, suddenly feeling like he was in high school again, about to have his first kiss. He leaned in to kiss you, moving his head to the side to deepen it. Both of your lips moving on their own as you shared a passionate kiss. Jake pulled away before he could go further, his forehead resting against yours as he giggled, making you laugh at his behaviour. “I love you too princess.” He finally said, “So much.” He pecked your lips again, and again, and again until you pushed his chest as you laughed at him. He grinned at you, as he grabbed your hand in his. “Let’s go?” He asked and you nodded at him. You both got in the car, ready to go home as some soft tunes played from to radio.
Jake had been trying to make his house a home for a long time, but maybe home was where you were.
#enhypen x reader#sim jake imagine#sim jake x reader#sim jake fic#enhypen x you#enhypen x y/n#jake sim x reader#jake sim imagines#enhypen imagines#sim jake x you#sim jake imagines#sim jake fluff#jake sim#sim jaeyun#sim jaeyun fic#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun fluff#enhypen jake#jake enhypen#enha x reader#enha imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen scenarios#enhypen reactions#enhypen x female reader#enhypen angst#heeseung x reader#sunghoon x reader#jongseong x reader#sunoo x reader
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hello!! i adore your writing style and i finally mustered up enough courage to submit my own ask, but feel free to discard it if its too specific! i was wondering whether you could write something for pyramid head and mikey myers with a reader who has paranoia/anxiety? something where they explain to their murderous partner that being sneaked up on makes it worse? gender of reader is irrelevant 2 me! tysm in advance :D
Awwwww! Thank you Anon! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing! 🤗 I enjoyed writing this one. I can totally relate with anxiety so this gave me a sense of comfort. I hope you like it!
Pyramid Head
Pyramid Head could sense something was off about you the first time you guys met. He could see the way you cowered into yourself, looking in all directions for danger as you took your first steps into Silent Hill.
Obviously, he doesn’t know what anxiety is. He is definitely no human or has any experiences with humans and their world.
You’re going to have to tell him what anxiety is. Pyramid head is pretty understanding and a great listener. Oh? That’s what anxiety is. Have no fear! Pyramid Head is here! Yeah… He’ll get the other monsters to baby proof Silent Hill. At least he is trying. 🤷♀️
One time, Pyramid Head was out patrolling for enemies and he saw you. You had your back turned to him, working on one of your hobbies. He wanted to say hi to you before he went to finish up the rest of his patrol. He walked up behind you, silently. He thought you’d maybe have heard him coming, but he was wrong. He tapped you on your shoulder and you freaked out, having the worst panic attack of your life. He felt really bad afterwards. ☹️
You had to explain to him that being sneaked up on makes your anxiety worse. From then on, he made sure to make some sort of noise to let you know he was somewhere nearby.
Michael Myers
Michael knew you had anxiety long before you guys even met. Ya know? The usual stalk before the kill. However, he never expected that you and him would become a thing instead of being his latest victim.
Even though Michael knows what anxiety is, because a lot of other patients had anxiety, he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He’s been in an asylum his whole life, but he’ll learn for you though. 🙂
By learning, Michael will stalk you 24/7, 7 days a week. He finds out what triggers your anxiety and what keeps you calm. Do large groups make you anxious? He’ll snatch you right out of that crowd, take you home and cuddle you. Do plushies help you with anxiety? He’ll go steal all the plushies out of the toy aisle in Walmart. Don’t ask him how he didn’t get caught. He’s just built different.
Well what Michael did miss is that you get awful anxiety attacks when you get sneaked up on. Idk how he didn’t observe that because he is super observant, but he did. Anyways, he makes the mistake of sneaking up on you while making dinner and dinner goes up in flames. Good job Michael.
You had to sit him down and tell him that your anxiety gets badly triggered when people sneak up on you. That made Michael sad because he loves sneaking up on people. Sorry Michael. However, to apologize for scaring you, he does give you one of his big bear hugs. 🙂
#slasher x reader#slashers#slashers x reader#dead by daylight x reader#dead by deadlight#horror#dbd killer#michael myers#pyramid head#michael myers x reader#pyramid head x reader#halloween#silent hill#slasher#sophi ghostie writes
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Hi honey! It's your fave anon ever hehe
Can I request cg!larissa x little!borderline!reader?
Maybe R has had an awful day, like every insecurity rising to the surface and she's on the verge of splitting but she really doesn't want to so when Larissa comes home, she sees that R has locked herself in the bathroom accidentally scaring Larissa but actually she was just isolating herself because she was terrifked Larissa would see her as a monster, but actually Larissa knowa of it all and loves R more than anything so she weasles her way into the bathroom with a blanket and a paci and lots of little stuff and R just ends up regressing and safely avoiding splitting as Larissa takes care of her and falls asleep on her chest and gets carried to bed? I'm sorry if this is too much
-🧸 anon
Forever? Forever.
Larissa Weems x little!bpd!reader
Extra prompt- “R is anxious when Isa is busy and fully develops into an attack but they try to mask until they just leave the room knowing they can't do it much more. Isa, can't follow yet and feels so bad because she knows her little has abandonment issues so will interpret it the situation as being left. Then we get upset little drawing pictures to show feelings and comforting momma isa” -🕊️anon
A/n: Hi its 1:30 am when I’m writing this! back at it again my friends. It’s nice to be (sorta) up to date with requests again! Also 🧸anon i see u 👀 I swear ur like 3/5 requests I have, it’s truly an honor.
Warnings: mentions of splitting, anxiety, overthinking, abandonment issues, little r, momma Larissa, comfort.
Dear 🧸anon, can I bring you back to life with the gift of a fluffy Larissa fic?
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
A busy Larissa wasn’t something new, usually as much as you hated it, it didn’t cause much of a problem. You found ways to be with her even as she worked her life away and you’ve grown quite used to it. The problem was today. You couldn’t quite pinpoint what exactly triggered your anxiety, you just felt alone, abandoned even though in the back of your mind you were well aware of Larissa’s affections for you.
Anxiety was always quick to push you into splitting, you couldn’t have that. Not now that you’ve been doing better, not while Larissa is cluelessly busy working. She was supposed to be home soon as well. What was taking so long? Did she not want to come home to you? Overthinking was always your worst enemy, specially now.
Naturally, you hid. Having Larissa see you in this state wasn’t going to be of any help, specially if you acted out against her. At the same time you missed her so badly. You just wanted her to hold you and tell you how much she still loved you. But you hid. If she wanted you she’d come looking for you right? That was your logic anyways.
You locked yourself in the bathroom of your shared room, bringing your knees up to your chest and hiding your face between them. You didn’t really have much else to do, just wait it out, just wait for the anxiety and that feeling of a split coming on to fade away, it wouldn’t. You closed your eyes. You felt like crying, and what was the point in holding back now?
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
You hadn’t noticed you fell asleep until the sound of Larissa calling for you startled you awake, then your heard it again followed by the shaking of the doorknob. “Darling- are you in here? could you just answer me so I know you’re okay?” You could hear the concern in her voice and willed yourself to unlock the door, still giving her no reply.
She let herself in, seeing your tear stricken face she immediately kneeled down and cupped your face. “My sweet girl, why are you crying what’s wrong?” You couldn’t bring yourself to explain, not mentally or physically and Larissa immediately knew. She kissed your forehead and stood, walking out to the bedroom.
This left you confused. Was she leaving you? If she was why would she kiss you so gently before doing so? It just made you want to cry more, you curled into yourself and did just that.
Larissa was at your side in mere seconds. Pulling you into her lap and offering up your paci and one of your stuffies. “Momma just needed to get some things for her baby, you see?” you nodded, hiding into her neck. “no leavs” Larissa sighed, hugging you tightly. “No my darling. Mommas not going anywhere, I promise. I apologize for leaving so suddenly without explaining.”
You sat there as she rubbed your back for god knows how long. She didn’t pull away until all your cries were soothed, your stuffie hugged between your bodies and paci in your mouth. Her always calm voice felt so comforting as she shushed your cries and eased every single one of your worries with quiet reassurance. She held your face studying you and then squinted at you, managing to pull a quiet giggle from you.
“My pretty little one, you know there’s nothing in this world momma loves more than her baby right?” You gave her a little gasp and shyly snuggled into her chest “It’s true. You’re my little treasure and momma absolutely adores you!” you hugged her as tightly as you could and responded as if it was a secret, “I adores momma evn mores”
“There’s absolutely no way! You’re my precious girl, I have all the love in the world just for you.” It was exactly what you needed. Being held and reassured by her for however long you asked.
You comfortably curled up in her arms, wanting to sleep off your headache from all the crying and Larissa was quick to carefully carry you into bed. She laid with you on her chest, the sound of her heartbeat calming you further. Just as you closed your eyes Larissa spoke again in a soft tone.
“Rest well my sweet girl, momma loves you” you nuzzled further into her, “forevers?” “Forever.” It was the perfect goodnight.
#gwendoline christie#larissa weems#🕊️ anon#🧸 anon#principal larissa weems#larissa weems x reader#larissa x reader#larissa weems fluff#cg!larissa weems#wednesday nevermore#Wednesday agere#larissa weems nevermore
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Love is a spider
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
Pairing: og8 X gn reader
Genre: Comfort/hurt
Word Count: 9.5K
A/N: To the requester, I may have went a bit overboard by a bit. Can you blame me? Anyway, in these drabbles, you're a bit of a people pleaser and the guys kind of clock you for it. Some of them are softer than others. Hyunjin's is a little angsty because a little angst adds some spice.
I'm so sorry this is out a little later than planned. I have had literally one of the worst weeks of the entire year. I hope that never happens again. Never fear, life goes on and we keep trudging along. I hope everyone is slaying and finding their own versions of happiness. It's almost over now, but happy six years to the band!!
You can ignore the rest of this, but I'm going to ramble because people pleasing can really suck. I wish brains weren't wired that way because people pleasing is not the least bit swell when it's destroying you from the inside out. Some of you baddies out there need to hear that it's okay to put up boundaries and focus on your own happiness.
I wish someone would have screamed that in my face at some point when I was younger. It is okay and normal to put up boundaries. It is not okay for people to walk all over you, belittle you, and cause you mental or physical harm. You are allowed to take up space.
There is one quote that says "stop breaking yourself down into bite-sized pieces. Stay whole and let them choke." I love that quote. I used to be one of the biggest people pleasers around and it made me so miserable to the point where I quite literally had a full mental breakdown. We're only meant for so much until we break.
Practice makes perfect and the more you practice saying no, the better you get at it. The better you get, the easier it is to reinforce boundaries. The stronger the boundaries, the more strength you have, the easier it is to say no. It's so much easier said than done, but I swear, once you start it, it makes life so much easier.
Also the title of this drabble is inspired by the song 'Spider' by Kai Bosch. It's so good and actually one of my favorites at the moment. I keep looping it because that's how much I like it. Now that I've rambled, please enjoy <3
_ _ _
Chan:
Dating Chan had its pros and cons. On one hand, you never had a better relationship with anyone before. Since he was so used to being out in public and interacting with multiple different people, Chan wasn’t afraid of your romantic relationship.
He knew what he wanted and he communicated everything perfectly. Every want, every need, every like, and every dislike, you knew them. On the other hand, you were still figuring out how relationships worked properly. The last romantic relationship you fell into, it left you scarred in more ways than one.
That’s why it took you so long to finally agree to meeting the rest of Chan’s band. It was a huge step outside your comfort zone. The whole day, Chan had been gushing and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.
You weren’t just nervous, you were terrified. Your stomach churned uncomfortably with anxiety. You kept zoning out and internally freaking out. There were so many thoughts inside your head.
What if they didn’t like you? What if you made an awful first impression? What if you screwed something up and made a fool out of yourself? What if they thought you were insufferable? On and on, the thoughts spiraled out of control.
Before you knew it, Chan was driving you to his dorm. It was the place where he figured you’d be the most comfortable. Plus, the guys could scatter about and do their own things. All the attention didn’t have to be on you.
It seemed to be going alright for the first few minutes. Chan introduced all the guys to you and a few minutes later, you needed to use the bathroom. Glancing around for Chan, he had moved out into the kitchen to help Lee Know and Felix with cooking.
Left alone amongst the other guys, you sucked in a deep breath trying to contain your inner panic. A few feet away, Han picked up on your discomfort and asked if you were alright. Upon realizing that he knew your mood, you quickly apologized.
He brushed it off and more time went by. Eventually, you were led to the bathroom. When you came out, you bumped straight into Seungmin. Apologies flew out of your mouth rather quickly. He laughed and brushed it off.
You apologized multiple times throughout the night, even when apologies weren’t needed. Like the time you accidentally spilled your drink. When you sat in a seat that was apparently reserved for Jeongin. When you grabbed a paper towel for Chan and accidentally tore a rip across it.
Chan knew you struggled with anxiety sometimes, but as the night went on, he started realizing just how much you were apologizing. Every time you did it, you looked terrified, almost like you’d be yelled at or lectured. It was to the point where it was getting concerning.
Felix made brownies for dessert. While eating one of them, crumbs fell on your shirt. When Hyunjin pointed them out and began laughing, along with an added joke from Seungmin, you looked like you were about to cry.
Beside you, Chan shot the two of them a warning glare to knock it off. They quickly changed the subject to taunting Jeongin for a terrible dance move he performed during practice. The attention went off of you and onto the three of them.
While the guys were distracted, Chan grabbed your hand and tugged you into the safety of his room. It smelled like the cologne he always wore. Comfort flooded your system easily.
“I’m really sorry,” you started after a few moments.
Chan frowned, feeling confused, “for what?”
“For messing up this thing with the guys. I understand if you want to break up with me. Actually, I can just let myself out.” You reached an arm out and headed towards the door.
Chan leaned forward and grabbed your wrist gently. “Baby, what are you talking about? You haven’t messed anything up.”
“I’m a mess. I’ve ruined so many things tonight. I’m sorry, I-” A lump began to form in your throat.
Chan gently pushed a finger towards your lips. “Why are you apologizing so much? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
You moved your head away with a sniffle. “Yes, I have. I’ve done dumb things and made people uncomfortable. Apologizing is the right thing to do.”
“Made people uncomfortable? You haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings.”
“I took Jeongin’s chair for dinner.”
“That’s not a big deal, baby. The guys never have assigned seats. They were just screwing around like they always do. Did something happen somewhere that made you feel like you always have to apologize?”
“But it’s the right thing to do.”
“Yeah, when the time is right. You don’t need to apologize over the small things, sweetheart.”
“The last person I dated kind of made me feel really shitty a lot. They didn’t like a lot of the things that I did and they weren’t afraid to tell me.”
“So…you apologized?” Chan guessed with a raised eyebrow.
You nodded.
“From now on, you’re not allowed to apologize for little things. Every time you apologize for something little during the rest of the night, I’m kissing you in front of the guys.”
“We can’t do that! I’m sorry, but w-” You were cut off with soft lips against your own for a few moments. When Chan pulled away, your cheeks were dark red. You swallowed and tried to regain your composure.
“Aw, you’re so cute when you blush. I guess you’d better stop apologizing, I mean, unless you want the guys to see us kissing.” A teasing grin began to stretch across his face.
Without even thinking about it, you reached up and playfully slapped his chest. Realizing what you did, panic flooded your face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry! I-”
You were cut off once again by his lips against yours.
_ _ _
Minho:
With a sigh, Minho kicked off his shoes and placed his car and house key onto the stand by the door. He jerked off his jacket and hung it up on a hanger. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he crept towards your shared bedroom door.
His feet slid over the floor through the darkened house. His fingers grabbed the brass knob to the bedroom and he slowly opened it. The soft hum of the fan filled the air. The room was pitch dark. He pushed the door open further and stepped inside.
“Minho?” Your voice called out. You popped up out of your bundle of blankets and turned on the bedside lamp. Both of you blinked at the sudden brightness.
“You’re up?” He asked. “You’re seriously up, again? Baby, it’s really late and you have work early in the morning. I know you want to see me, but you need to get some sleep.”
“I know, but I wanted to see you.” A frown filled your face. “I missed you so much and I just couldn’t wait.”
He moved over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. You watched his bare back as he ripped off his shirt and slid into a different one. Realizing you were staring after a few seconds, you averted your eyes. “So how was your day?”
“It was alright,” he shrugged.
“You’re not going to give me the specifics?”
“Nope. Not now. We can talk about that in the morning. Right now, you need to get some sleep.”
“But I-”
“Nope. Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’re sleep deprived.”
“But I’m not!” You tried to argue back.
“Is that why you keep taking naps on the weekends?”
“Well…” You couldn’t fight back because he got you there. Staying up after midnight really was taking a toll considering that you had to be up at six in the morning. The days you stayed up later, you struggled through exhaustion.
Lately, you spent your days nursing coffee and energy drinks, trying to bring back the momentum, but they could only do so much. Recently, it seemed like you were more irritable and Minho was right. Brown bags sat beneath your eyes, your energy was low, and your co-workers kept making sure you were alright.
“I don’t want to make you unhappy,” you finally got out. “I really love you, you know? You usually look really excited when I’m still up. I like greeting you when you get home. I just want to make you happy.”
Minho headed over towards the bed, pulled down the blankets, and slipped beside you. “You make me happy in a lot of ways and I love you too. Trust me, you won’t hurt my feelings if you’re sleeping when I get home. In fact, I want you to be sleeping.”
“I love seeing you, but you look really cute when you’re asleep too. Imagine if you woke up in my arms. That sounds so exciting. Imagine you get enough sleep and you wake up to me holding you. The perks? You get enough sleep and I get to snuggle you.”
“And you’re okay with that? Because I could continue to stay up and I-”
He leaned up and lightly flicked your nose. “You need to get some sleep before your co-workers show up at our house. Yesterday, you said you were really freaking one guy out because you kept falling asleep while standing up.”
You finally nodded in agreement. He tugged you towards his chest and plopped down on his pillow. “When we wake up, we’ll have the most amazing breakfast and I’ll tell you all about my day and you can tell me about your day.”
“Promise?” You asked.
He nodded and shut his eyes. You laid there soaking in his warmth until you shifted. You shut your eyes, but nothing happened. You shifted again and again until Minho opened his eyes again. “What are you doing?”
“I can’t get comfortable and my brain won’t shut off.”
“Probably because I came home an hour earlier tonight. Your body is used to going to bed around the time I come home later.”
“I can’t help it!” You huffed clearly annoyed as your lips stuck out in a pout. “I feel like something is missing, but I don’t know what.”
“Maybe if you wouldn’t have been a brat and stayed up until I got home,” he started.
You stuck your tongue out at him and shifted again. Silence filled the room as the two of you tried to sleep. After a few more minutes, you jerked into a sitting up position. Beside you, Minho frowned with his eyes closed. “I think you’re right, something is missing.”
You thought about it for a while before your eyes widened. You jerked off the blankets and scrambled to get out of the bed. Beside you, Minho finally sat up and watched you nearly faceplant as you left. “Where are you going?”
“We forgot to get the cats!”
“The cats?” His face twisted in confusion. “The ca- Holy shit! We forgot the cats!” He shoved off his own blankets and scrambled after you.
Twenty minutes later, the two of you were sound asleep. Snuggled in different parts of the blankets were Soonie, Doongie, and Dori. The five of you fell asleep rather quickly comforted by the warmth of one another and the tranquility that transpired around the room.
_ _ _
Changbin:
During the first week that you dated Changbin, you bought him a shirt he mentioned he wanted to you in passing. When he unwrapped the soft pink wrapping paper and he unraveled the shirt, the happiness sparkling in his eyes locked in your brain.
During the second week of your relationship, he mentioned he really liked a new drink that he found at the grocery store. When he joked that it was the only thing he wanted to drink from now on, you took that seriously. You bought him multiple packs of it to keep in his dorm refrigerator.
When the second week wrapped into the third, you bought him a new pair of Airpods because he lost the last pair. You couldn’t stand his frown and how bummed he was about it. When you replaced the exact case that he had also lost, he nearly hugged you to death.
He didn’t realize what you were doing at first. At first, he thought your actions were cute. He knew some people showed their love through giving gifts. Sure, he felt a little guilty about it, but you looked so happy when you handed them to him. You were practically a little ball of sunshine that he couldn’t resist.
The last thing you got him, you took your time wrapping it, and you brought it straight into the JYP recording studio. You knew that he’d be there finishing up his recordings. As you were going in with your box, Chan and Han were coming out.
“Oh,” Han’s eyes lit up, “what’s that?”
“I bet it’s another gift,” Chan teased.
“Wow, Changbin is so lucky.”
“You really know how to spoil him rotten.”
You laughed and responded. After talking for a few more moments, the two walked off to head back to their dorm. Apparently, Changbin was still inside finishing up the last few lyrics of a song.
You knocked a few times before you pushed open the door. Changbin was in a black t-shirt with a face mask tucked beneath his chin. His eyes were narrowed down in a notebook and his pencil scribbled rapidly. “What did you forget this time?”
“Uh…nothing?”
“Oh!” His face lit up. “It’s you! Hi, baby! Give me a moment to finish writing these lyrics. How did you get inside? I didn’t think security would have let you in.”
“Well, they probably wouldn’t have, but Felix was talking to the security guard when I came up. He told him to let me in because the two of us were dating. The security guard seemed hesitant, but Felix does what Felix does best.”
“Melts the hearts of everyone around him with his angelic being?”
“Yeah, something like that.” You laughed and placed the wrapped box down on the studio couch. Changbin continued scribbling for a bit and you stood patiently with your hands folded in front of you.
“Alright, I’m finished!” He pushed his chair away from the wooden desk he was crouched over and glanced back towards you. “Should we go get dinn- oh, what’s that?”
“It’s a present.”
“That looks like an awfully big present. Should I be scared?” He raised an eyebrow as he studied the light green wrapping paper. There was a big silver bow on the top of it.
“I think you’re really going to like it.” You picked it up and handed it to him. He was shocked by just how big it was. The thing easily fit across the length of his lap.
He hesitated before he grabbed a piece of the folded paper along the side. A loud rip filled the air as he jerked it. At first, his face lit up as he revealed the internal packaging, but it didn’t take long before his face fell.
You purchased him the lego set that he had been admiring in the window of your latest trip to the mall. The lego set was pretty big and it easily cost a couple hundred bucks. At first the gesture was sweet, but this was too much.
“You don’t like it?” Your voice came out softly.
“No, no, no! I-I do, but I…” He sighed and sucked in a deep breath. “Baby, why do you buy me so many gifts?” His eyes went up to meet yours. There was genuine curiosity on his face.
“You don’t like the gifts?”
“I do like the gifts, but I’m starting to think you’re spending way too much money on me. Why do you feel the need to buy me so many gifts? A lot of what you’ve been buying costs quite a bit of money. I don’t want you to waste your hard earned money on me.”
“I’m not wasting my money on you.” You suddenly felt like the size of a grape. All that happiness and joy in your heart, all that excitement slipped out of your heart like a deflated balloon. “I just wanna make you happy.”
“Honey, you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, even without these big gifts. I like that you want to make me feel happy, but this,” he tapped the box of legos, “this is too much. I feel bad for receiving this. This costed so much of your money.”
You couldn’t help it, tears filled your eyes. He instantly frowned and shifted. You frantically blinked trying to keep them from falling, but they dripped onto your cheeks. You wiped them away as Changbin placed the legos onto the floor. He leaned over and pulled you close to him.
“Hey, hey, hey, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t want you to spend all this money on me. I want you to spend all this money on you. I want you to be selfish for yourself.”
He wiped more fallen tears and tugged you onto his lap. You sniffled and allowed him to. “Why do you feel like you need to buy me such large items?”
“I-I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’m not good enough. Maybe if I buy you things you really like, maybe you’ll stick around. Maybe I can buy your love and I-”
“Woah, woah, woah. Buy my love?” He gently cupped your cheeks between his hands. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to buy my love. Not at all! I’m with you because I love you. I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t like them.”
“I’m afraid you’ll leave,” you whispered.
His heart broke even more and he shook his head. “If I was ever thinking about leaving you, I’d bring it up to you. I wouldn’t keep you in the dark about anything like that. Relationships are very serious things and I’d never shut you out or try to hurt your feelings on purpose. Never.”
“So no more gifts?” You asked.
“Well, I won’t say that. You seem like you really like giving gifts, right?”
You nodded your head. He wiped his thumbs beneath your eyes again. “If you’d like to give me gifts, how about something small? Like maybe one of my favorite snacks? Or you could do something else.”
“Like?”
“We could go on adventures together. We can go half and half and go on fun dates. Hyunjin just recently told me about a couple’s private pottery class that his pottery teacher hosts. How about something like that? We’ll make memories together, have fun, and we’ll have a shared experience.”
“I guess that does sound pretty good.”
He smiled and gently poked your cheek trying to cheer you up even more. You blushed and couldn’t help, but smile back. Your eyes went down to the lego set beside your feet. “Are you really going to make me take it back?”
“Why not?”
“Because I really want you to have it and I spent good money on that. Plus, I don’t want to go back to the mall. They’re going to ask why I want to return it and I’m not good at lying. I don’t want to admit that my boyfriend didn’t want it.”
“Well…” Changbin’s eyes followed yours. “It is a really cool lego set and you did spend a bunch on it. I would like you to take it back, but I will admit that it’d look super cool in my room.”
“So will you keep it just this once?”
He sighed before he caved. “I suppose, but this is it! If you do something like this again, I’m forcing you to take it back. I’ll hold your hand and drag you into the store. I’ll make it as dramatic as possible, so you’ll be too embarrassed to ever do it again.”
Your cheeks went red again as you nodded in agreement. Changbin’s gaze went back up to you. “So how about we take this back to my dorm with the rest of the guys? I’ll order us food and we can put this together. Maybe we can have the other guys help us because this is going to take hours.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Maybe even a full year to put together.”
“I don’t think that’s how this works.”
“You don’t know that. What if it takes a century? How about a millennium?”
“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.”
“I can’t help it!” He tossed his hands in the air. “I live with Hyunjinnie! What did you expect to happen? 3racha doesn’t just rub off on Hyunjin, he rubs off on us too!”
_ _ _
Hyunjin:
“You’re being such a fucking bitch!”
They were just words, but it might as well have been a slap in the face. The look of hurt on your face was one that Hyunjin would never forget as he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door after him. He slammed it hard enough that the walls shook.
You shut your eyes and sucked in a deep breath trying not to cry. You were under a lot of stress from work and he was under stress from some stupid controversy that had happened with his band. It was a minor thing, but the management team was grilling all of them behind the scenes.
The argument was just a simple miscommunication on both your ends. You were both irritated and frustrated due to external factors. It wasn’t much of a surprise when the two of you started to argue, but you didn’t think it’d get this far.
With your head down, you walked over to the couch. You collapsed onto it and curled your head into the arm. The mixture of high strung emotions whirled into a tornado and now both of you were hurt. Your heart ached due to the cursing and all Hyunjin could feel was guilt.
You cried and cried and cried until you ended up crying yourself to sleep in the living room. Outside, Hyunjin went on a walk trying to clear his head. He couldn’t believe he had said something like that to you. He was absolutely gutted about it.
If there was an award for the world’s shittiest boyfriend, he’d have it in the bag. He couldn’t believe he fucked up this badly and it was absolutely unforgivable. His brain started to spiral out of control.
What if you broke up with him? What if you never wanted to see him again? What if you went to the public and released this information to the press and the fans? He nearly had himself in tears as he took off running back towards the apartment. God, what would his band members think? They’d never forgive him for this.
Nearly tripping over his feet, soaked in sweat, he shoved open the door and rushed inside. He walked through the brightly lit living room and was about to head towards your room until he found you curled up into a ball on the edge of the leather couch.
For the first few moments, he was smitten. Your back moved up and down slowly as soft snores came from your mouth. He couldn’t have been outside longer than twenty minutes.
It was quickly ripped apart when he remembered what he did. Remembering it was like a knife fileted across his stomach. He sucked in a deep breath, moved over to you, and gently shook your shoulder. He softly called your name trying to get you to wake up.
You shifted at the touch and hummed softly. Your eyelashes were clumped together from tears. When you jerked your head and blearily opened your eyes, Hyunjin’s heart crumbled at the sight of your bloodshot eyes.
“Baby?” His voice called out softly. He gently stretched a hand out towards you. He held his breath waiting for your reaction.
“Hmm?”
He sat down beside you quickly and tugged you into his lap. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I’m so sorry for calling you a bitch. I-I don’t know how to make it up to you, but it’ll never happen again.” His eyes became glossier as he spoke. His voice wavered as if he was on the verge of tears.
“It’s fine,” you weakly got out. “We were both upset and you snapped. It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is a big deal. I hurt you terribly and said something that never should have come out of my mouth. Darling, I’m so, so, so sorry.”
“I’ve been called worse,” you mumbled. You were still half asleep with your head on his chest. “I was kinda being a bitch, so you weren’t wrong.”
“No, you weren’t! I was being an asshole. Please don’t ever accept me calling you names. Never accept anyone calling you names. It’s pathetic and it’s low. You’re so much better than that.”
“Not really,” you shook your head, “it’s okay, seriously.”
Tears dripped down Hyunjin’s cheeks. Not only had he done the unimaginable, but now he realized you had low self-esteem. He shook his head, unable to accept your words.
“No, it’s not okay. You are beautiful and you are lovely. You are a wonderful person and you’re very intelligent. You’re someone I can’t live without and, best of all, you’re my muse. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
“I-”
He cut you off, “no. You don’t get to say mean things about yourself. You don’t get to accept what I told you. I was a fucking piece of shit and I hate that I can’t take back the words. I’m sorry, so please, if it’s okay with you, just let me hold you for a while.”
The tears were back in your own eyes as you nodded. You had been called a variety of names in your lifetime. Once upon a time, with an awful friend, you accepted every awful thing they said about you. You were too afraid to stand up for yourself, so you took in the words constantly.
You heard them so much that you began to believe them. Internally, those words had damaged you far more than you’d ever admit. There were thorns in your heart that still jutted out.
Sure, Hyunjin’s words and the actions that followed, they really were wrong. Nothing he could say could take them back, but, at least, he was trying to make it right. You couldn’t stand the way he looked with tears in his eyes.
You adjusted yourself and wrapped around his torso like a koala. He hugged you against his chest tight and rested his head on top of yours. He was so glad that you were still here and were willing to hear him out.
_ _ _
Han:
“I’m really sorry,” you got out with a grimace. “I know, I know I shouldn’t, but she’s my friend. I can’t leave her hanging all alone. She’s a mom now and I bet that’s really exhausting.”
Han frowned while watching you lace up your shoes. For the third time, you were canceling the date that the two of you were supposed to go on. All he wanted to do was spend time with you, but your friend kept taking advantage of your kindness.
It was okay, at first, and he understood. Parenting could be hard and it was healthy to take breaks. However, your friend kept constantly asking you to watch her kid. She never paid you for it and she asked in the spur of the moment. There was never time to preplan anything which kept throwing off what you had with Han.
Your boyfriend’s patience and understanding only went so far. In your eyes, you were trying to be a good friend. In his eyes, you were being used as a free babysitter because your friend didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of having a kid. It was frustrating and it was annoying, especially when it kept ruining your date nights.
“I’ll be back later,” you managed to get out. You were starting to feel upset about the situation yourself. Dealing with a baby, one that was only a few months old, was a lot of work.
After being at work all day, you wanted to lie down and cuddle with Han. You wanted to go with him to do some low energy activity and then come back home and cuddle. Both of you were introverted and you liked it that way.
Dating an introvert was the best decision you ever made. Sure, occasionally, the two of you liked to go do something you both enjoyed. Most of your time was spent at home where you were relaxed. You weren’t overstimulated and you weren’t overwhelmed.
“What’s the reasoning this time?” Han grumbled, unable to stop himself from being bitter. He was tired of your friend’s bullshit. If she wanted you to watch her kid so much, the least she could do was pay you.
“Um…” You trailed off knowing that your response would upset him.
“Is it something dumb?”
“I-I guess,” you shrugged, “she wants to go to the bar.”
“Are you being serious?” He whined. “Baby, that’s not fair! She can wait until the weekend to get plastered, it’s literally only Tuesday! I made restaurant reservations in an hour and now I have to move them again!”
“I’m really sorry, but she’s my friend.”
“She’s using you!”
“But she ju-”
“Why are you making excuses for her? You know that I’m right. This isn’t helping your relationship with her. You’re not getting paid for this either. You’re babysitting her child and now, when she gets home, you’ll have to babysit her too because she’s going to come home drunk.”
“What am I supposed to do? She’s my friend! I can’t just leave her to suffer alone and I-”
“Woah,” his eyes widened in shock, “since when is parenting suffering? Your friend knew what she was getting into and you know it. She planned this pregnancy and she went on and on and on about all the baby books she read.”
“I know that it’s hard to be a single-parent. It’s overwhelming and it’s awful, but you know what? I love you!” Your face scrunched up in confusion from his words. “And I don’t like seeing you being taken advantage of because you’re too kind.”
“You keep chasing after your friend and you keep giving her an excuse to abandon her duties as a parent to go have fun. It’d be different if this was planned in advance and if you were being paid for it or something, but she keeps doing this!”
“But-”
He held up his hand to silence you. “This time she wants to go to a bar. The last time, she had a nail appointment. The time before that? She wanted to go to the bar again. When you’re a parent, you have to do what’s best for your child and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself.”
You stayed silent hating that he was right. Ever since your friend gave birth, she had been leaning on you a lot. It made sense, in the beginning, and you didn’t mind, but it was starting to become a huge issue.
It’s not that you didn’t like her child because you did. He was adorable and he listened well, but you didn’t want to have a kid and the responsibilities that came with it. At least, not at this time.
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings,” you finally admitted. “I feel really shitty if I say no. I just…I don’t want to be an asshole.”
“I know you don’t.” Han walked towards you, grabbed your hands, and tugged you off the couch. “But does it really make you an asshole if you’re putting yourself first? Sometimes you have to give people some tough love. Your friend can’t avoid her parenting responsibilities forever.”
You let out a sigh and nodded your head. “I’ll go talk to her. I’ll come back and-” You paused before your eyes met his own sparkling eyes. “Is it alright if I meet you at the restaurant?”
“Really?”
You nodded again.
He screeched in delight and jerked you over his shoulder. You shrieked as he spun around and bounced a few times. Your shrieks turned into laughter as he cheered.
Once he finished, he put you back down. “I’m so proud of you for creating boundaries.” He reached over and planted a gentle kiss on your lips. “I’ll text you the restaurant location and then we’re getting drinks to celebrate. Now,” he shoved you towards the door, “get out and go talk to your friend.”
“I believe in you and you can do this! No matter what happens, even if it backfires, you’ve got this! Honeybun, you can do anything and handle any problem that comes your way. Wait!” He rushed towards you and placed a kiss on your cheek. “For good luck!” He beamed.
You laughed and thanked him as you left the apartment. Once you were outside, you sucked in a deep breath. This was terrifying and anxiety-inducing. You were sure your friend would be upset at your decision, but Han was right, you couldn’t keep bowing down to your friend and watching her kid all the time.
It wasn’t making you happy. It wasn’t fair to the baby because you weren’t their parent. It wasn’t fair that your friend was able to keep avoiding responsibilities either. As you approached your car, you reminded yourself silently that Han believed in you. In turn, it made you believe in yourself too.
_ _ _
Felix:
It was all going wrong. Everything was going wrong. Felix’s birthday was today and you were screwing up massively. You had everything planned out perfectly and then your mother ruined it.
Usually, you put aside extra money to splurge on things. You weren’t the best when it came to money. In fact, you struggled with it. Every time you had money, all you wanted to do was spend it. It was a bad habit that you had just yet to break.
Lately, you had bought a few gifts for Felix. You picked out a few new games for his Nintendo Switch that you’d thought he’d like. Plus, you found a few new articles of clothes that were his style. You even managed to purchase a bottle of the fancy cologne he liked to wear because you realized he was getting low on it.
You splurged on the wrapping paper and the gift bags. Gift wrapping wasn’t your forte, but you were determined to impress Felix. This was the first year the two of you were dating and you were excited to throw him his own small party between the two of you. You spent nearly three hours on YouTube studying the perfect way to wrap gifts.
When you found the video you liked the most, you took another two hours following along and neatly following the tutorials. You kept the gifts hidden beneath your bed and away from Felix for a few days, so he had no idea.
You went out of your way to design a special cake. There was a bakery in the area that had raving reviews. They made custom cakes and you already had an idea of a cake you wanted to create. Since he spent so much time playing Animal Crossing and listening to Animal Crossing music, you wanted to get him to follow that theme.
You were making a simple sketch of what you wanted. You planned to take it down to the bakery and have them create it. You had a price range and everything. Everything was perfect and then your phone rang.
You were on your way towards the bakery, it wasn’t far away. When you picked up the phone, you realized it was your mom. You swiped the call and pressed the phone up to your ear. “Hello?” You answered.
You paused and listened for a moment before your face fell. “Did you seriously? Mom!” You cried out. You couldn’t help the frustration that built up in your voice.
“Don’t you ‘mom’ me!” Your mother shot back. “You’re old enough that you should be giving back to me. I helped raise you! I put food on your plate and a roof over your head! I fed you and I gave you an education.”
You gritted your teeth and rolled your eyes at her response. After a while, you hung up the phone frustrated and upset. You returned back home and tried to fall back into your usual upbeat persona. You must have done a good job because Felix didn’t realize that something was wrong.
The day before, you went to your mother’s house to help her make a meal. You put the small backpack you carried with your jacket. What you didn’t realize was that while you were out cooking, your mother got into your things and stole the cash you pulled out of the bank, specifically, for Felix’s cake.
She constantly harassed you for money and sometimes you gave in. You couldn’t help it. Every time she pulled out the excuse of raising you, you felt guilty. It was like a kick to the back of the knees and you collapsed every time.
You struggled to figure out what to do. You didn’t want to borrow money from anyone. You definitely weren’t going to make Felix buy his own cake. You didn’t want to wait until the end of the week before your next paycheck came in, so you decided on the next best thing.
The next best thing, apparently, wasn’t the best idea. You thought you were making the recipe right for homemade cake, two days later. Everything was going alright until you tasted the batter. You instantly gagged and spit out the mixture.
As you flipped back through the recipe, you realized that you had followed the recipe perfectly. However, you somehow managed to mix salt with sugar. The supposed sweetened batter was now a salty wreck.
You cursed beneath your breath and dumped the mixture. You pulled out another bowl to remake and remeasure everything. While you were trying to recreate the recipe, Felix walked right into the kitchen.
His sudden appearance caught you way off guard. You jumped while pouring flour and suddenly the bowl of half-made liquid cake was coated in way too much flour. A lump sat in the back of your throat as your face fell.
“Oh,” Felix frowned, “I’m so sorry, baby. I thought you heard me come through the door. What are you making? I’ll help you remake it.” He sent you a reassuring smile, reached over, set a hand on top of your head, and playfully messed up your hair.
All you could think about was how much he would have loved the Animal Crossing cake. The cake would have been moist and light. The frosting wouldn’t be too sweet and it wouldn’t overwhelm him.
A strangled squabble came from your throat. Felix blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow. “Baby, are you alright?”
“I was supposed to get you a cake!” You blurted out. “I had this plan to get you an amazing cake with Tom Nook on it. I was going to recreate your little house and your character. It was going to be so cute and t-then-” you sucked in a shaky breath feeling like you were going to cry. “My mom took my money when I was at her house. I-I’m so sorry.”
“It was going to be a cute cake. It was going to be custom made and it was supposed to be here, but I couldn’t even pay to have the bakers make it. I wanted to put it here and surprise you. I was going to make you a homemade one to try and make up for it, but I keep fucking it up.”
A soft smile filled Felix’s face. “You were going to get an Animal Crossing cake for me?”
“You love that game a lot.”
“And I also love you a lot. It was an incredibly sweet idea, but don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ll be more than happy to have anything you bake me. I know you’d bake a homemade cake with plenty of love. That’s something that Tom Nook doesn’t know anything about.”
You suddenly broke into a laugh as tears filled your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you finally finished. “I’m just really not having a great day. I should be having the best day ever. You popped out of your mom’s womb on this day and that was the greatest gift of all.”
“Woah, okay, how about we stop right there?” He laughed. “We really don’t need to talk about my mother’s womb.”
“I should call her and thank her.”
“I don’t know how she’d respond to that. So anyway, what about your mom stealing your money? Is she going to give it back?”
And so, you and Felix worked side-by-side making a third cake batter and placing it in the oven. He listened to you ramble about your mom while the two of you tossed ingredients into a bowl. You explained how guilty she made you feel and how you’d occasionally give her money because of that guilt.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s healthy. You don’t owe your parents anything. As a parent, it’s their responsibility to provide for you. They shouldn’t be making you feel guilty for that.”
“I can’t help it, it’s the people pleasing part of me.”
“I understand because I’m like that too sometimes. You’ve just gotta do what’s best for you. Your mom can be a little…um….”
“Crazy?” You finished for him.
“Well, I was looking for a nicer word, but yes. She can be a little much sometimes. You seem to be a lot happier when you don’t interact with her. I think you should focus on what makes you happy.”
The two of you continued to talk. When the cake was baked, Felix leaned over to pull it from the oven, and you rushed to your room to grab the presents you had. He placed the cake on the stove to let it cool. When he turned back around, he blinked in shock.
A few wrapped presents and a gift bag sat upon the counter that the two of you had just cleaned up a few moments prior. When his curious eyes met yours, you smiled at him. “Just because I couldn’t get the cake, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t spoil you with gifts. Happy birthday, baby.”
_ _ _
Seungmin:
Seungmin’s heart stopped beating when he heard you sobbing. He just came home from the studio. There wasn’t time to take off his shoes. His brain instantly went to the worst thing and he sprinted towards the sound.
He didn’t knock, he just shoved the bedroom door open with wide eyes. You were a wreck with your face in the pillow. He rushed towards you in a panic. “Hey, hey, hey, why are you crying?” He hurried over and plopped down beside you.
His hand instantly went towards your back to comfort you. Upon hearing his voice, you cried into your pillow harder. There was something embarrassing about being vulnerable in front of your significant other.
“Baby, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s wrong if you don’t tell me. Did something happen?” He gently scooped his hands beneath your stomach and shifted you into a sitting position.
A thousand what-ifs were locked into his head. You sucked in a shaky deep breath and let out another sob. He frowned and wiped your tears away. You hiccuped through the final few sobs.
“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered in a shrill voice. “I-I just-”
“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this.” He frowned and wiped away your tears.
“M-My friend,” you managed to get out.
“Your friend? What happened? Did they get injured?” Fear struck his heart. “Did they die?”
You shook your head again frantically and your hair shook from side to side. “T-They just keep saying things a-and-” You burst into another sob.
His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His arms wrapped around you while you sobbed. While he held you close to him, there was a vibration from beside you as your phone received another notification. Your fingers clenched around his arm and you cried harder.
Seungmin tried to console you, but you were a mess. He pressed his lips against the top of your scalp and continued to fight off your tears. He shushed you and rubbed your back. When your phone vibrated again, he finally glanced down at your phone.
Your head was buried in his chest. You were a wreck from what your friend was telling you. More quick vibrations filled your phone with every text sent your way. Seungmin’s eyes didn’t leave the screen as more and more text notifications filled the screen.
“Baby, who’s texting you?”
You didn’t respond. Your fingers clutched onto his shirt tighter. You buried your head in his chest more as if it’d help you escape your inner turmoil. The tighter you clung to him, the more worried he became.
He’d never seen you to the point of being unconsolable. Sure, you had your rough days before, but not like this. When your phone vibrated again, he didn’t ask. He reached over, unlocked your phone, and he glanced at the text messages.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he definitely wasn’t expecting to find one of your close friends screaming every obscenity at you imaginable in capitalized letters. His jaw instantly clenched and his hand tightened around your phone screen.
“Baby, why the fuck are you being cursed out?”
“B-Because,” you hiccuped, “I said I didn’t want to hang out with them.”
“So why are they cursing at you?”
“They’re always like this when they don’t get their way. I’m h-having-” you hiccuped again, “a bad day and t-this just-”
“Was your tipping point?”
You sniffled and nodded. Seungmin frowned and scrolled through a few previous text messages. “They’re really always like this?”
“They’re kind of mean when they have a bad day.”
“Kind of?” Bewilderment stretched his eyebrows up. “Kind of?”
He read a little more and gasped. “I know this dumbfuck didn’t just call my significant other ugly. Now we have our own little beef. Ugly? Have they considered looking in the mirror? The love of my life is no such thing.”
He didn’t even ask, he just responded. When he was quiet for a while, you pulled your head out of his chest with wet cheeks. “What are yo-”
“Putting this cunt in their place.”
“Seungmin!” You cried shocked at the insult.
“Don’t ‘Seungmin’ me. They just said you looked like you were inbred and they have a big storm coming their way. I won’t let an ugly cunt insult the love of my life. Not when they look like they were shaken in the womb and came out disfigured in more ways than one.”
“You cannot be mean back!” You reached out and attempted to grab your phone. He jerked it out of your reach. “Seungmin!”
“I’m just getting to the good part, baby. Wait until I tell them that a New York City rat has more manners and class than them.”
“Seungmin!”
“Swing low and I go lower,” he shrugged innocently, “maybe they shouldn’t have been so mean. They can start it, but I’m ending it.”
You sighed, but you let him go. He seemed to be really focused on your phone. His eyes were narrowed and his thumbs moved frantically over the screen. He typed for quite a while before he hit the send button.
“Do I even want to know what you said?”
“Nope. Don’t worry,” he pressed a few more buttons, “because now you never have to deal with them again.”
“What did you do?”
“Blocked them after giving them a long insult that will be sure to affect their family for multiple generations after them.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m not going to sit by and let an asshole insult my favorite person.”
You softened instantly and glanced up at him with heart eyes. “I’m your favorite person.”
“Maybe. It might have just slipped out. Anyway,” he stood up and grabbed your arm. You followed along and let him lead you into the bathroom. He pushed you in front of him and stood with his hands on your shoulders. You stood staring at your reflections in the bathroom mirror.
“What are we doing?”
“You’re going to repeat after me.”
“But I-”
“Nope, you’re not getting out of this. We’re going to stand here for five minutes and recite positive affirmations to dust off that negativity. After that, who knows, I might put a curse on that motherfucker.”
“Seungmin!”
“I’ll let Changbin beat them up and allow Lee Know to shove them in the air-fryer. Just wait until Felix finds out what they did to my precious gem. The sunshine is going to turn into a tornado and rip them apart. Now repeat after me, I am beautiful.”
You hesitated at first, but after a while, you were repeating the affirmations through laughter and smiles as Seungmin tickled you. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone off on your friend, but you were precious to him and he hated to see you cry. He’d do anything to cheer you up.
_ _ _
Jeongin:
Another day meant another chance to thrive. In your case, it was another day to sleep whenever you could fit it. Today, it was in your car. You barely got into the driveway and got the car turned off. You instantly slumped forward and pressed your head against the cool steering wheel. You fell asleep rather quickly and were like that for a while.
Jeongin was used to coming home and finding your car in the parking lot. You got home an hour before him on most days. It wasn’t much of a surprise when he saw your familiar car in the parking lot. He parked his car behind you and shut it off.
After climbing out, he yawned and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch. There were a few quick pops from his spine and he hissed. Today, the band had dance practice. His body was sore in more than one area.
He shook out his limbs and began to head towards the apartment until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. With a frown, he glanced over towards your car. It took him a moment before he made your slumped figure out in the driver’s seat.
His eyes filled with horror and he rushed towards your side of the car. He gripped the side of the car and tugged on the handle. Unfortunately, it was locked. Panic engulfed him and he knocked on your window frantically.
You groaned at the noise interrupting your sleep. You shifted, but you didn’t lift up your head. Upon seeing this, he knocked at your window harder and tried to tug the handle again.
Realizing someone was attempting to get into your car, you finally glanced up to find your boyfriend at your window. His eyes were full of concern as he gestured for you to unlock the car.
You reached over, hit the unlock button, and you yawned. Jeongin flung the door open and hurried to your side. “Are you okay? Baby, please look at me.”
When your sleepy eyes met his, his worry increased. He gently grabbed your chin and turned your head to the side. His eyes scanned for a head injury. “Are you alright, sweetheart? Did you hit your head? Did you pass out or something? Have you eaten anything?”
“Hmm?”
“You were unconscious in the car.”
“Oh, yeah,” you shrugged, “I fell asleep.”
He let out a sigh of relief, stroked your chin a few times, and finally let go. “You scared the fuck out of me. I thought something had happened and I was going to have to call an ambulance. If you wouldn’t have unlocked the car, I probably would have broken the window.”
“I’m alright, I swear. I’m just tired, that’s all.” You rubbed your eyes with another yawn. “I’ve gotta head inside and get some sleep. My boss is probably going to want me to come into the office again early and stay late.”
“Baby, with all due respect, you’re like a walking zombie. I know you like pleasing your boss and the money is good, but this isn’t healthy for you.”
You let out a groan, but Jeongin stood his ground. “I know you don’t like hearing it, but you know I’m right. You need to focus on what’s best for you. Sometimes that means making sacrifices that might make other people unhappy, occasionally.”
He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “Let’s get you inside and taken care of. Have you eaten anything today?”
“I haven’t had time, honestly.”
He frowned again, but he didn’t lecture you. “Let’s start there and then we can go on. Let’s get you a quick bite to eat and then get you to bed, alright?”
You nodded in agreement. He held out his hand and you intertwined your fingers with his. You let him slowly tug you towards the house. Still half-asleep, you didn’t mind the babying he was doing for you. He plopped you down in a kitchen chair.
You rested your head in your hand and nearly fell back asleep. He quickly made the two of you instant ramen cups to share. You were teetering on the edge of conscious and unconsciousness. He gently shook you awake, so you can eat.
The two of you managed to have a decent conversation despite your yawns and tired voice. You managed to get halfway through the ramen before you nearly knocked it over as your body twitched while falling asleep.
He chuckled and moved your ramen away from you. “Alright, come on, let’s go.” He stood up, grabbed your hands, and gently tugged you up. “Let’s go get you all tucked in, sleepyhead.”
You hummed in agreement and let him lead you to the bed. He helped you out of your work clothes and into a pair of pajamas. When he was finished, he led you towards the bed and he tucked you beneath the covers.
Bending over you, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” you sleepily mumbled with your eyes shut.
“Promise you’ll start to work less overtime? I don’t want you to fall asleep on the road and get into a car accident. I want you to be safe and healthy.”
You weakly nodded your head in agreement. He planted another kiss on your head before he laid down beside you. Happily, you snuggled into his warmth. His arms wrapped around you and he rested his head on top of yours.
You fell asleep rather quickly, but it took a little longer for him to follow. He was nearly asleep until your phone chirped with a new notification. Groggily, he reached over and grabbed your phone off the side table.
He stared at the text message from your boss and then he glanced over at you. You were sleeping rather peacefully and he didn’t want to wake you up. Taking his time, he slowly removed himself from your bed and crept with your phone out into the kitchen.
Far away from you, he called your boss and explained that you had been overworking yourself. When your boss heard about how little sleep you were getting, they were instantly struck with guilt. Jeongin got permission for you to take off the next two days.
You now had Thursday and Friday off, so you could catch up on sleep and recover. After that, you were free during the weekend. On Monday morning, he made sure you were able to go in at normal time.
Maybe, you’d be able to work overtime as long as you didn’t overwhelm yourself with it. Jeongin couldn’t help it, he was worried about you. If you were upset and thought he’d overstepped his boundaries, that was a conversation the two of you could have the next day.
For now, he placed your phone back on the side table. Climbing back into the bed, he wrapped his arms around you. He tugged your sleeping form close and let out a sigh of relief. With a calm mind and a fluttering heart, he’d finally join you in the land of dreams.
| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡|
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#stray kids#stray kids drabbles#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#kpop fanfic#bang chan#lee know#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#stay
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Chapter 22 of The Other-world Universe; it’s villain time, baby! >:)
all chapters listed here
[Round two: Knockout]
A blaring horn woke me with an awful cacophony of noise. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep, but I was sure that there wasn’t an alarm clock for me in the other-world. “Ahh! What’s going on!?” I yelped, sitting up in an instant with my hands over my ears. “Finally, she’s awake,” an exasperated voice grumbled nearby. Looking to my left, I found a truck parked right beside where my head lay a moment ago. No wonder its horn had been so loud.
"Wh- Why are you here?" I asked Mr. Stoll as he paced a bit further away from me, "I thought you said I could have some time off." "Well, that was before I knew about this," he grumbled, messing with something in the truck. "We received a radio broadcast this morning. At first we thought it was more refugees, and in a way I guess it is, but.. well.. If I could just get this thing to-" I saw another figure inside the truck do something to the machine Marcus was messing with, and soon a harsh voice played out over a speaker system inside.
This is Nicholaus Albane, head overseer of the Inter-reality Multiuniversal Research Division. We know a human of our own size is with you. She has displayed extraordinary power. Unfortunately, it has been used against my scientists and has hindered my progress towards our goal. I cannot allow that to happen again.
There was a brief pause as static rippled over the radio. Anxiety built in my stomach, making me nauseous. If she is not present at our camp, or you fail to bring her to us at 34.5 degrees latitude and 28.4 degrees longitude… Terrified cries suddenly burst through the speakers — too faint to be anything but other-worldian. Everyone in this town will die. Then it will be your turn.
My message to the unnaturally-powered human: Do not resist. You can not overpower the twenty or so staff present here. Your tricks are amusing, but this isn't a game; no one's laughing. There are lives at stake. Come within the hour and the people here will be spared. If you don't show up, I can personally guarantee that after every one of those little creatures dies, you’ll be next. There was a sudden click, then the radio cut to static.
My stomach churned awfully as I realized what the scientist was saying. They were holding an entire town hostage just to capture me. If I came, they would undoubtedly drag me through a portal and lock me away somewhere, but if I fled, thousands would suffer the consequences. Before either of the other-world people could say anything, I promptly rushed into the woods behind me and threw up. There was too much going on, and way too suddenly; I was terrified. Everyone’s lives depended on me. But you already knew that. Their lives already have depended on you.
I desperately didn’t want to turn myself in. I.. can just.. leave. All I had to do was concentrate on a thought and I’d be home — far far away from anything here. The people from the portal wouldn’t be able to find me to punish me for not coming. But what would happen if I really left? I'd be leaving so many people to die if I did. I couldn’t do that. What kind of awful coward of a person would that make me? Not the kind I’m willing to be.
Eventually, I returned to the field where Mr. Stoll stood, slightly startled. The other person cautiously stepped out of the truck and looked up at me pityingly. It took me a moment to recognize it was Ivan. “We have no choice,” Mr. Stoll began, “We have to send you to their camp. Not to comply with their orders, of course. You’ll go there to fight them off with your gun, and whatever you need him for,” he said, nodding towards Ivan.
That’s right, with Ivan here I’ll have intangibility. I can escape with that. I took a shaky breath of air to calm myself and think straight. I have to at least try to help them. I don’t want anyone to die on my behalf. But if worst comes to worst, being intangible can help me avoid getting hurt or captured. “Alright,” I agreed solemnly, my voice shaking slightly. “I’ll go.”
Mr. Stoll immediately shoved a paper of sorts at Ivan and said something along the lines of ‘don’t screw this up’ to him. “This map has the camp’s location and the route there plotted on it already. The kid will take you.” “Wait, we’re leaving now?” I asked, confused. “I haven’t gotten ready. Erica isn’t here, and-” “They said come within the hour. Forget about her and get going,” Mr. Stoll growled the same time Ivan said “We don’t have time; we have to leave now.” I guess they were both right; I had to get there before it was too late, but I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of longing. I wanted Erica there. Her presence would be one small comfort in the midst of all the chaos, but there was no time.
Carefully, I let Ivan settle onto my hands before lifting him up to give me directions. I strode with as quick a pace as I dared with my small companion. Every once and a while he would give me new instructions. Otherwise, the trip was deathly silent. Fear and anxiety kept a capsule of quietness in the air at all times, only further increasing the tension.
My heart broke a little as I left sight of the Cavern Town. My magnetic sixth sense was pulling me back the direction I'd come. It was a somber trip, just me and Ivan wandering towards the faint smell of machinery and upturned earth that grew stronger with each step. The moment the scientist's camp appeared on the horizon, I hid nervously with my invisibility. If there had once been a town there, it was impossible to tell. The entire area had been cleared to stake the base of the scientist's tents.
What will they do to me if I’m taken? If this is how they treat defenseless strangers who aren’t even taller than their hands, I don’t want to know what might happen to me — the person who can possibly stop them from doing it. "Hey," Ivan said softly, looking up at the empty space where I'd been a moment prior. "I'm really sorry about all this. I don't think it's right for these people or mine to put this much pressure on you. The only reason I'm here is, well.. Ok, Mr. Stoll forced me to come to the field, but I came with you because I knew you would want your intangibility. Unfortunately for me, that means I need to tag along." Though I couldn't hear it, I felt him chuckle lightly, "In all honesty, I wanted you to have at least one reliable getaway plan, because I knew you'd be a lot more scared without one."
Despite our dire situation, I managed a small smile. Ivan actually cared about me; he wasn't here simply because Mr. Stoll or the overseeing scientist had frazzled him with the threat of annihilation. His presence guaranteed a small piece of safety for me, even if it was at the expense of his own.
I tried to calm my breathing like Erica had told me the last time I got scared by the scientists. "So, do we have a plan?" Ivan asked hesitantly. "Let me see if I can scout things out a bit closer. I am invisible, after all." “But I’m not...” he replied nervously. I thought for a moment, “I’ll have to stash you in my pocket, but I’ll be sure to let you out before I go intangible, alright?” Ivan nodded slowly, looking like he already regretted his decision to come along.
Slowly, I slid him into my pants pocket and headed silently towards the scientists’ camp. This one was a lot bigger than the previous setup I’d walked into when I first introduced myself. There were three large tents about 20 feet long set up in a row along a small river. On the other side was a huge tarp structure that looked like a circus tent, only it was a dead grayish-white color and seemed much more foreboding. As I slunk into the edges of the campground, I peeked under tent flaps as people walked between them.
The first tent held a plethora of strange machinery. There were towering sets of humming boxes that flashed with blinding light every so often, and racks of glowing tablets lined the back wall. Some things were still fairly recognizable, like a water dispenser and monitors showing the charted region of the land the scientists had discovered. I held back a shocked gasp and waited a moment for someone else to walk through to give me another look at the monitor. The amount of land pictured on the screen was worrying. Is that a map of the land they’ve discovered, or the land they’ve already taken for themselves? I hoped it was the former.
Moving on to the next tent, I found some sort of storage room piled high with crates. It was empty of people. These tents didn't seem all that impressive. If I wanted to find out what was really happening, I'd have to get over to the large tent on the other side of the river. I call it a river only because it would be that size to the other-world inhabitants. To me, it was easily traversable. The scientists hadn't even bothered to build a real bridge across. A few slabs of rubbery plastic material were thrown across it to form a path just wide enough for one person to walk over.
I couldn't go over the makeshift passage, though. If someone were to walk across at the same time, they'd probably bump into me, and there were people crossing it constantly. Workers zipped in and out of all the tents across the field. They weren't even donning the 'hazmat giant' attire, just plain clothing — like they were simply going about a normal job.
Once I made my way over the river with a large step, I crept up to the main tent's entrance. The tent flaps were held wide open, but I couldn't see much of what was happening inside. I waited until the coast was clear, then slipped through the empty opening. My mouth dropped open in shock as I took in the massive space. I thought they'd flattened the town that was here — cast it aside to make room for this camp — but that wasn't the case. The entire town was corralled in the large space beneath the tarp ceiling. It looked like a model train exhibition, or something similarly fake. I mean, who would corral a real city full of people behind a glass pen built for displaying things?
One quick glance around the gigantic room and I spotted eight or nine scientists working on various projects involving the town, which was fenced in on all sides by thick waist-high glass panes. There were divots for people to step into the town, and clearings where scientists could examine the buildings more closely. However, the barriers around the openings were still far too high for any other-worldians to even dream of getting over them.
I stepped over one of these openings and knelt down inside. I'd assumed the other-world people were caged up somewhere, lying in wait as bait for me. However, as I peered at the tiny town, I could see small figures dash by windows, boarding them up in an attempt to keep the giants out. Everyone and everything was left pristinely untouched by the scientists. I doubted it was out of kindness. They wanted a perfect replica to study, and that was all. The moment they finished whatever it was they were doing here, everything would probably either be torn down or taken away through a portal somewhere, never to be seen again. I shuddered at the images that drifted through my mind.
While I knelt there, one of the scientists wheeled a machine over and hooked it to a track that sat on the rim of the glass wall. After a few moments, it flared to life and began making a slow circle around the entire ring. What is that thing? I didn't have a clue what most of the scientists’ machinery did, but as the flat metal piece drifted in my direction, it let off a blaring alarm.
The scientist who'd placed it on the track examined it for a moment, then looked directly at me. I hesitantly stood up, unsure if I'd been spotted. They then called over a few of the others in the room, and soon everyone was staring at the invisible spot where I stood, looking back and forth between me and the machine. My pulse quickened; I could feel it in my chest. Easing my hand into my pocket, I slid Ivan out and hid him behind one of the buildings as soundlessly as I could. I had a feeling that I was going to need my intangibility soon. Suddenly, one of the scientists cried out. "It's her! The anomaly is here! Get the overseer!"
I slid into intangibility and raced out of the enclosure to an empty part of the tent as everyone stampeded out. As much as I didn’t want to get any closer to where the scientists would be, I really didn’t want to stay in the little town. I could all too easily flatten it trying to fight or run from the portal ‘giants’.
Just as quickly as the scientists fled, a new team of 'giants' appeared. This group wore distinctly armored clothing. A few were equipped with futuristic weapons that looked somewhat similar to rifles. There were a lot more people here than I thought. I turned hesitantly to visibility, but clung tightly to intangibility — latching onto Ivan so desperately I would’ve been clinging to him if he were still physically with me. The crowd parted, revealing a tall, thin man with taunt muscles and eyes that were unmistakably golden-yellow.
He sized me up for a moment, then smiled almost welcomingly. "I see you got my message," he observed, gesturing to my arrival. His voice was undoubtedly the same one I'd heard over the radio. The overseer looked between me and the captured town for a moment, then laughed haughtily. "You were trying to save these tiny creatures? How sad.." he mused, "That's just not going to happen. But you'll be joining them on their trip through the portal very soon." I tried to shake off his subtle threats and focus on what I came there to do. I had to put a stop to this.
I made my way in front of the captured town in a slow, decisive march, planting myself between the group of ‘giants’ and the glass walls behind me. “This isn’t right,” I announced to the crowd, “Trust me, I’ve been in denial myself. I didn’t even believe this world was real. But I know better now; these are real people, these are real lives you’re destroying. It has to stop. It’s not right for you to do th-” “That’s where you’re wrong,” the man from the radio cut in, putting a hand up to silence me.
“We have every right to be here. We discovered this world, so why shouldn’t we take it for ourselves?” I huffed, “But there are already people living here!” “Too bad for them,” he replied nonchalantly. “Do your people know the expression ’survival of the fittest’? Surrender or die? Kill or be killed? Don’t your people also claim land from others for themselves?” “Well.. yes,” I stuttered. “That’s all we’re doing,” he explained calmly. “So pick a side. Before we decide for you.” “But that’s not-!” “Pick. A. Side.”
I know who I’m going to stand with. I have to help the people of the other-world. But if this becomes an all-out war over land, am I ready to stand in the middle of it? I inhaled a deep breath to calm my nerves, steadying my position in front of the town. “I’ve already made my decision,” I remarked coldly. The cruel overseer only sneered. He turned swiftly on his heel and stepped to the threshold of the tent. “Capture her,” he ordered, “and slaughter the town.”
The tent became a blur of motion as the group fanned out. Some people headed into the town through the glass openings, while others advanced towards me. I pulled out of intangibility and grabbed my new weapon — immediately firing at the people who tried to attack the captured town. Dodging the oncoming shots, I rushed around the side of the glass barrier. I flinched as bullets of glowing hot metal stuck fast in the glass. Thankfully, the enclosure barrier seemed thick enough to protect me.
As the three people with weapons reloaded, I quickly switched to multi-shot mode and decimated one side of the glass wall to allow everyone from the other-world a potential escape. Turning on my pursuers, I fired off another round and they all scrambled out of the way as explosions tore open the sides of the tent. The other ‘giants’ clearly hadn’t anticipated that I could fight back with a weapon of my own.
Someone gave a signal and those without weapons disappeared out of the torn opening. As I held off the rest of the group, a flood of other-world townspeople made their way out the shattered hole in the barrier. Tearing open the side of the tent with a few explosive shots of my gun, I followed the group from behind, still facing my oncoming attackers.
Once everyone evacuated outside, the ‘giants’ tried to surround us, but I stopped them with a shield smoke bomb. By the time the haze cleared, I’d cast a protective dome over the whole group, trapping them inside. Just as I turned back to the other-world civilians, a keening noise split the air — sounding like a higher-pitched gunshot. I flinched expecting to be hit, but nothing happened. Then, a shocked cry echoed inside the barrier.
Turning back around, I saw one of the people lying on the ground inside. They’d tried to shoot the barrier to escape with a smaller firing weapon, but the bullet, or whatever the weapon shot, had ricocheted off the wall and hit him instead. The others inside began panicking as they realized that there was no way out. Before I could address either of my problems, another one emerged.
The group that had left earlier returned, armed with lightweight shields and more of those strange futuristic guns. I fired off a few quick blasts as the new group charged me, shields raised. My light bullets seemed to have no effect on the shield material. The force of the multi-shot explosion caused my attackers to falter, but that was all.
I put the gun away and went intangible and invisible. Come on Alexis, think! What else can you do to- Oh! Of course, my abilities! Racing forwards, I began taking them out one by one, using invisibility to attack unexpectedly and intangibility to dodge anything they threw at me. I was doing fairly well until one of the ‘giants’ figured out my strategy. He slid past my invisible arm as I aimed my weapon, grabbed it, and threw me to the ground, knocking it out of my hands. I lay there stunned, shock chasing away the powers I'd clung to a moment prior. The force had knocked all the air from my lungs and all the thoughts from my head.
Gasping for breath, I couldn’t stop two of them from hoisting me up to drag me off. When they did, I was able to see the group of other-world people I’d saved, giving me some much-needed encouragement. The Cavern Town truck fleet had arrived. All of the survivors were being loaded onto the vehicles, headed safely back to the protected town in the valley. Despite my dire situation, I’d managed to save them.
My body surged with new life once I realized that my job was complete. I slid into intangibility so I could escape the men's grasp. However, they still held me fast. What’s worse, they’d also seen the other-world civilians escaping. I tried again to switch over to intangibility, but I realized that I had been dragged too far away from Ivan or anyone else I could latch on to; I had no way to get out. Panicked, I jabbed one of them in the ribs as hard as I could. He let out a surprised yelp of pain, and I tried to writhe my way out of the second person’s grasp, but it was no use. The second man stuck his leg out beneath me just as I broke away, and I fell face first into the ground.
Blood dribbled out of my nose, but before I could do so much as wipe it away, I was dragged upwards again. I thrashed in their grasp, but it only earned me a violent kick to the stomach, sending me right back into the dirt. My fight to escape became a desperate animalistic struggle. After a few more escape attempts where I was immediately thrown back to the ground, the butt of one of the men’s rifle-like weapons struck the side of my head — ending my struggles. I was still half conscious, but my vision had gone black for a few minutes as the men continued dragging me off.
Once I could see and think again, I glanced back over my shoulder to see the other-world people. The caravan was speeding away. I'd distracted everyone enough that they no longer cared about them, but I noticed with a pang of terror that I'd almost been dragged all the way to the river crossing. One of the tents on the other side had a portal inside it.
Digging my heels into the ground, I tried desperately to get away. If I could just find anyone to latch onto, I could escape. However, I could barely stand anymore. All I could do was try to slow my captors down, but that was starting to annoy them. Finally, after my fourth or fifth attempt to get free, the man I’d hit turned on me. His hands suddenly wrapped around my neck with a crushing grip on my throat. I gasped fearfully, clawing at his fingers. Faintly, I heard the other person comment: “We’re supposed to bring her back alive, Rowan.” “I’m just putting her to sleep,” he growled in reply as more pressure forced my windpipe closed. Seconds away from passing out, I thought ruefully of my family back home — how they’d never know I died here. The force on my throat vanished, and I fell onto carpeted flooring.
It took me a long while to recover enough to figure out what happened. My thoughts had taken me home. The house was empty. I vaguely remembered my family planning to go somewhere without me after I turned them down.
I sobbed in relief, hesitantly sitting up from my spot on the floor. How am I so stupid? I chided myself internally, I could’ve escaped to my world any time I wanted! Laughing numbly at my mistake, I yelped at the pain it caused me. I couldn't make a single noise without my throat closing up or burning like it had been rubbed raw. Slowly, I got up, nearly stumbling back down to the ground, but I grabbed a nearby chair for support. I made my way to the basement kitchenette and gulped down water. It hurt my throat, but I was desperately thirsty. After my more primal needs had been taken care of, my adrenaline high wore off, and I quickly spiraled into fearful recognition.
The scientists, the townspeople, the hostages — it was all too much. I had barely escaped with my life even with my gun and my powers. The people from the portal world attacked in a group too big for me to handle; I couldn’t defend myself from all of them at once. My first fight was a fluke. I only won because the scientists hadn’t expected me. This time, they called me there. This time, they wanted me to fight them. I should’ve known that they’d figured out a way to subdue me. I’d only escaped because I remembered I could return to my own world with a thought. If it had taken any longer, I would’ve been choked unconscious — stolen away to the scientists’ world. And Erica had to watch everything happen.
I saw her out of the corner of my eye after getting thrown painfully onto my back during the fight. She stood in the middle of the field, closer to me than the group of fleeing other-worldians but still far enough away that none of the soldiers could easily get her — staring in horror as I was thrown down again and again. Weak and barely able to stand, I fell onto the couch feeling like I was dying. Maybe I am dying. I would disappear from the other-world never to be seen again. Everyone would think I abandoned them, but in reality, I was just dead.
For a few hours, I lay on the couch in agony, finally managing to get up for some pain reliever across the room before heading right back to lay down some more. I can’t fight the people from the portal. I have no choice but to leave. I’ll run away and never go back. The other-world residents can’t convince me to return if they can’t get to me. My stomach sunk with guilt, but I reasoned that if I went back to fight, I would either get kidnapped, end up dead, or both.
Wait, I can’t leave Erica! I’d already made the mistake of abandoning her along with the other-world. I’ll have to separate the two… I’ll have to take her with me. Surely she’ll also want to get away from her apocalyptic world. Especially now that the 'giants' are on the path of destruction. I moved to lay on my side, staring at the empty spot where the table once stood. The noises of my family returning home sounded from the floor above me. My dad came down to see me, so I hurriedly covered as much of myself as I could with a blanket, trying to hide all my injuries. I made an excuse that I wasn't feeling well, and he left me alone. I was internally shocked at how sick I actually sounded. My throat was still rugged after the forced attempt to squeeze it shut.
Several hours later, after the pain subsided to something more tolerable, I returned to the Cavern Town. Well, a cutoff of the valley near the Cavern Town. I couldn’t bear to go back there and be expected to keep protecting it.
Sitting there in subtle secrecy, I thought through what I would say to Erica once she undoubtedly found me. My brain kept thinking in circles from I can’t leave to I have to leave over and over again. About a half-hour later, I felt Erica’s presence begin to get closer. Sure enough, a lone truck turned down the cutoff to face me, stopping just short of where I sat. Erica stepped out and looked me over, agony distorting her features. Both of us faced eachother in silence before she finally spoke.
“Alexis, I’m so sorry…” I shook my head, stopping her from saying much else. “Don’t apologize Erica, none of this is your fault. It’s neither of ours.” “You-” “I’m leaving.” “What?!” She blanched, stepping towards me slightly, almost pained. “I- I mean I understand why, but.. You’re really leaving?” "Yes. I can't keep living here like this. I'm leaving, and I'm taking you with me." Erica suddenly halted in her gentle approach. "Wait, but.. this is my world, my home. I don't know if I can just.. run away with you."
"Of course you can! It's not like you have anything left here to care about. Just come with me, then we'll both be safe!" I begged. Erica's expression clouded over in a mixture of emotions that passed so quickly I couldn't read them. "And what then?" she asked tiredly, "I can't live in a world that's at least thirty times my size. You get to go back to your normal life, but what about me?"
I flinched as I heard more trucks heading down the cutoff. "Please, we’ll figure it out later, but we have to go now." I reached out to scoop Erica up, but she sidestepped my outstretched hand and backed away. "No! Stop it! You can't just grab me and take me off to your world, that's kidnapping!" Clouds of dust sprawled out near the entrance to my little ravine. The trucks were almost there, I had to run before they forced me to stay. Anxious to flee the world and its people, I cornered Erica with both hands and held her tight — disappearing quickly into the air just as the trucks came into view. The next thing I knew, I was kneeling in the basement, Erica still trapped in my hands.
#Alexis… you poor thing#she has no clue how to fight#weapons and powers can only get her so far#have fun with the cliffhanger :)#g/t#giant/tiny#other-world universe
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Just Rest Honey (I’m Here)
A/N: I wrote this because i used to have such bad days like this because of my insomnia and honestly didn’t get to properly rest until i got meds and was at such piece. I don’t know if anyone else needs it, but here it is. Enjoy!
Warning: None? Sleep deprived reader? Insomnia?
Word Count: 784
Other Tags: fluff, tooth rotting fluff, soft Larissa Weems
I’m sitting at my desk while students sit on their own. I’ve tried countless times to get them to stop shouting and pay attention, but with the festival coming up, they are all so rambunctious. I hold my head in my hands with a pounding migraine making its way behind my eyes. The pain is awful and the fluorescent lights are no help. As some students talk about the games they will play, the door to my classroom opens and in walks a fellow teacher and Larissa. They look at the state of the classroom until their eyes land on me. Larissa comes to stand beside me, placing her hand on my arm.
“Dear, come with me. Mr. Beliro will watch over your class”
I look up at her as I stand from my seat and am unable to gauge her mood, though with the state of my classroom, I can’t imagine she’s very happy with me. I follow behind her out of my room and I can hear Mr. Berilo taking control of the room. We walk in silence which only gives my mind time to think the worst case possible and run through what might happen.
Will she yell at me? WILL I BE FIRED?! Oh god, I’m going to lose my job and Larissa will hate me!
I get so lost in thought, I don’t notice we are already approaching her office. I mindlessly follow her in, living in the worst case scenario. I feel her hands wrap around me and she guides me over to the couch she has by the fireplace and sits me down, but she doesn’t sit with me. Something warm and soft lays Over my shoulders and then Larissa is kneeling in front of me.
“Dear, when was the last time you slept?”
All I see is the concern on her face with such soft eyes and eyebrows somewhat knitted together. I simply shrug instead of speaking and look down. Her delicate hands cup my cheeks and lift my gaze to look into my eyes, and the only thing I can do is let go of a sob. I’m so exhausted and I’d do anything for everything to go away.
“Oh Y/N, honey,” she moves to sit beside me and pulls me into her arms, “I’ve got you darling, let it out”. I clutch to her as I cry, my tears staining her dress, but she doesn’t seem like she cares about that. She whispers encouraging words and rubs my back until my breathing evens out and my sobs become little whimpers. I feel so safe with her like nothing can hurt me, and all I want is to stay in this for a little while longer. Larissa pulls away slightly to look down at me, “why don’t we make you some tea to help you sleep?” I nod my head and let go, standing with her, and then she takes my hand.
She leads me into her private quarters to the kitchenette and lets me lean against her. She insists I go rest, but I can’t help but feel I need to be with her. She leans against the counter and holds me in her arms, playing with my hair. It’s been a while since I felt this relaxed and cared for. Her nails lightly scratch against my scalp and her body heat envelopes me.
“Someone seems comfortable” she lets out a little chuckle, however for me, it triggers my anxiety. I’m being too much, and I instinctively start to pull away. “Oh no no no dear, I'm sorry, I was only teasing. Come here little one” She opens her arms back to me, far too inviting for me not to shuffle my way back into her embrace.
The kettle begins to whistle, but instead of letting go of my, she works with one hand pouring my cup. She adds sugar and stirs it before lifting it to hand to me. I sip on my tea as she continues to comfort me, whispering reassuring words. Only when I'm done with my tea does she guide me towards the bed. I honestly thought she would send me to my room, I mean, she's done more than anyone else already. She helps me take off my shoes and then covers me with the blankets and duvet before walking around the bed to climb in herself. She shimmies closer until she can wrap her arm around me. I turn in her arms until we are facing each other, a sleepy smile on my face.
“Thank you” I whisper, the last thing I feel is her pulling me closer to her and a kiss placed on my forehead.
#reader insert#gwendoline christie#gwen christie#x y/n#larissa weems#principal larissa weems#principal Larissa Weems x reader#larissa weems x reader#larissa x reader#soft larissa weems#insomnia#insomniac reader#comfort character#comforting#comfort#gwendolineuniverse#gwendoline christie is a goddess
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i had the worst shower ever. i was like, tripping out. reminded me of my "episodes" i had in middle school. just like voices and not knowing where i am. and not being able to get back to reality.
well now im on my way to the dentist, theres no way in hell they wont be able to notice i was just crying. (from fear of going to the dentist, not from the shower thing lol)
im so scared :(
[took out a part here but it was just about stress and disordered eating things from this morning]
then i got to the dentist and it sucked. long dentist story ahead
okay dentist. everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong.. i tried acting normal, and we had small talk or whatever like normal dentist x ray stuff, but she could instantly tell something was wrong with me, i guess.
she gave me a health form to fill out. i was still chill and this point and was like oh yeah i have blood pressure problems but its only if im up moving around!! so not doing that at the desntist hehe amirite?! i also checked anxiety and i think thats what she wanted. just personal confirmation everything was gonna go wrong.
after she learned i had anxiety, she was nice, too nice imo... like i was a child. im okay with that though i guess. (i mean.. she could definitely tell i was just done crying)
she was like "the xray blanket is heavy and could help with ur anxiety" BUT I WANTED IT OFF AND COULD BARELY TALK SO I JUST NODDED. it made me feel so overwhelmed immediately. THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED GOING BAD
im also just constantly aware of my hair and when you lean back on the stupid dentist seat my hat falls off. its like LOOK THE FREAK WHOS SCARED OF THE DENTIST AND PULLS OUT ALL HER HAIR!!
whatever. so there i am on the dentist chair. bald spots for the world to see. xray blanket sensory overload. sunglasses on top of my regular glasses. but im pushing through.
she starts using the tool on my teeth. a metal vibrating thing that sounds like a drill. my worst most awful fear is high pitched drilling noises. if im in a good mood i can put up with them for a bit, but obviously todays not that day. i try not to freak out, but she notices and asks if im okay and im like "yah" (with tears)
but then my mom comes in and shes like "can you not do it a different way?!?!" "shes freaking out" and just making everything WORSE. (used the chaos here to get rid of the dumb xray thing)
ive been on and off hyperventilating through all of this btw... i heard one of the dentist ladies say "shes crying and breathing really fast..." which was like. kill me now please god.
so back to my mom asking "can you not just do it a different way?" they do have a different way btw. without the scary machine! but then dentist lady says "she used this machine the last 2 times she was here? we dont have enough time to do it manually." (proof i was just having a bad day and i totally can be normal!!! but hearing this made me feel awful like i could feel all the dentists were thinking "she did it fine last time why is she carzy today?!?")
she then asked to step away to find the MAIN dentist lady.
at this point i was crying shaking hyperventilating and felt like i was gonna throw up from nervous energy. also my mom is pestering me a bunch (shes concerned but making everything worse, her hearts in the right place tho ily mom)
so big boss dentist lady is here. she says she looked at the xrays (from the beginning, remember?) and i have A GAZILLION CAVITIESSSSSS!!!!!
she says for my dental things from now on i should go to a SEDATION DENTIST!!!!
i was so out of it i didnt even know what to say. well now i do!!!
im not usually that scared. i was having a VERY BAD morning.
the dentist i go to now is all women. the sedation dentist is a MAN, that none of the women there had ever met. I HAVE TO GO MEET A MAN TO SEDATE ME SO I CAN BE ALONE WITH HIM? SO HE CAN DO MY TEETH? i might have a silly joking tone to this post but with this im being so serious. im scared as hell that thats just gonna end with me being raped.
i dont like male doctors/dentists/anything and always have my mom with me when i have to. there was a female assistant when i had my endoscopy and female nurses when i had my surgery. i dont want to be alone, asleep, in a room with a man i dont know. JUST BECAUSE IM SCARED OF THE DENTIST???
god i keep seeing stuff in the corner of my eye as im writing this. i think my psychosis is coming back for some reason.
every things going wrong today and forever
pls like/reply this post if you read it all im sorry for my ranting
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hey, reaching out to you as a csa survivor who was abused in a very similar fashion to the victim in your hell story (though my abuser was an older student rather than a teacher) sending this on anon because ummmm anxiety haha
i dont really have much to say other than i think what you're writing is very important and needed. i personally had a really difficult time with the idea of a story that centers a possible "redemption" (for lack of a better term) of an abuser. it brought up an inner conflict that i've been dealing with in my head for a long while between a big part of my values being "restorative justice is absolutely the way to go and endless punishment will not help anyone" and the the angry, broken child within who keeps clawing at me and wailing "i hope they suffer and burn for eternity for what they've done to and took from me"
i suppose my hurdle is that the thought of seeing my abuser as anything more than a monster that took advantage of me is really really difficult, and something i still struggle with to this day. i'd much rather think of them as a demon that lurks in my memories rather than a person who is still alive and breathing today. that thought is just unbearable to me.
but stories like this and related topics have forced me to think genuinely to myself if i would actually feel better if i knew that they were being tortured for eternity for what they've done. it feels like such an elementary concept that has been taught time and time again (a victim's burning want for revenge and the impact such an angry mindset has on any possible healing is a concept that im exploring in my own story) but its one that i keep returning to with no definitive answer. im slowly beginning to land on the conclusion "no matter what i do or what becomes of them, what happened happened and i cannot dig at or punch or scream at the past to get it to change. all i can do is focus on myself, my future, and healthy ways to heal from it. i will never forgive them for what they did to me but i can only hope that wherever they are, they aren't hurting anyone else."
there's still a small but vocal part of me that hopes they die in the worst ways imaginable, but conversations like these and the media that sparks them allows me to realize that despite how awful and disgusting they are, abusers are still human. their actions cannot and should not be justified, but they're still human. and even though that thought process is still very difficult for me to fully comprehend - and i will never not hate an abuser, and i will never forgive them either - being able to examine beyond their actions and why the gut reaction of dehumanization can be destructive in multiple ways is important.
wow i did NOT mean to write this much haha im really sorry for putting an essay in your inbox, i just figured that getting a survivor's perspective and what type of inner conflict a story like this can spark in us would be valuable to you in some way. sorry if this is incomprehensible i have a lot of Feelings about it clearly.
but tldr this is a long-winded way of encouraging you to continue with this project. your intentions are clearly good and its obvious that you plan to handle this topic in a brutally honest yet respectful way, which is honestly all i can ask for lol
this is. just so kind, thank you so much for your words of encouragement <3 it means tons to me. this story is very special to me and i plan to handle it in the most responsible way i can
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In My Head
~3,2k words
orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)
set in immortal fears/the belt corruption arc. this will be an official piece at some point so i might have to revise it, but. actually in-story canon first kisses/love confessions. theres a lot of anxiety surrounding this topic as its a heavy point of realization for kip especially, so its just kinda angsty. also kip says fuck way too many times cause ofc he does
i tried to proofread and edit this but if theres something wonky yo thats entirely on me
@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate
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Kip carefully pushed the bedroom door open, breathing raspy and heavy, heart in his throat as he was met with the familiar darkness beyond the door. Most nights it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but something felt different tonight. Maybe it had been the past few days, the past few hours leading up to this moment, the words that had been said, the touches that still burned the skin he couldn’t get out of, the feelings that he didn’t know before now for sure that burned in his mind.
Seeing the familiar figure already laying on the bed in the darkness didn’t help any of the feelings he had in him.
Maybe he could figure this out. Maybe he was imagining it all, maybe he was pushing it all and everything he was feeling was nothing but a fragment of his own imagination. Maybe Kip was making it all up. Maybe he didn’t mean anything that he had been saying, thinking, wondering the past few days, the past few hours.
But the longer Kip stood frozen in the doorway, the more he knew he was just lying to himself thinking that he didn’t mean any of those things.
The worst part was, he just didn’t know if Cassidy was on the same level with him at all.
Kip slowly made his way into the bedroom, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. He wasn’t sure if Cassidy was still awake, but as he hadn’t moved or reacted at all while Kip had been standing in the doorway, it was safe to say he was fast asleep. Kip was honestly surprised he was still willing to sleep in the shared bed after today, no matter how much Kip was trying to tell him that he didn’t need this anymore.
The thought of Cassidy still refusing gave him the chills, his response even more so.
“Maybe you don’t. But who says that I don’t?”
If Kip hadn’t been confused about everything before, he sure had been again after that. All his efforts to push Cassidy away, even slightly, to stop the inevitable that was happening in his head were rendered effortless. Useless. Just like how he felt most nights, most days, which was exactly why he was in this predicament to begin with.
Because he needed help. It had taken its sweet time for him to acknowledge that fact, but as soon as he had accepted it, Kip knew there was no turning back. The moment he allowed the one who he had been his sworn enemy to help him, there was no way anything was going to be like before ever again.
And he was terrified of that thought. And nothing he tried made it go away, anything Kip did either made it worse or stronger. He couldn’t fight it, only hide it. And he was sure at this point that he was fucking awful in that as well.
He could navigate the bedroom in the almost pitch black darkness effortlessly, Kip had done this maybe a million times before. The extra thick curtains were a welcomed addition to help the sleepless nights, but at the same time Kip wished they weren’t thickening the air in the room right now. He was already having trouble breathing, the darkness feeling even more suffocating around him, making things even harder for him to grasp, as if they weren’t already confusing and driving him up the walls closing in around him.
All he wanted was to know if he was imagining it all or not. Why was that so fucking much to ask.
Taking a hesitant seat at the edge of the bed, Kip tried to steady his breathing. Closing his eyes, he ran hands over his face multiple times, trying to make sure he knew where he was, what time it was, the date, anything to ground him to his surroundings. His mind was swirling with a million thoughts faster than he could arrange them in a sensible order, but the soft carpet under his bare feet and the fingers drumming gently against his forehead kept him in one place in space at a time.
Not that it helped him breathe any easier, but at least knowing where he was and how things were going made him feel slightly less insane.
Kip could feel the bed slightly moving underneath him, but he didn’t pay it any mind. Maybe Cassidy was just tossing a bit, Kip knew he was a rather light sleeper on nights he wasn’t completely exhausted because of him. He had tried to be quiet, but maybe him getting on the bed was a bad move. Of course it was, Kip wasn’t known for making good moves in this life, that much was obvious.
An arm suddenly wrapped around his waist, securing him as it pulled Kip slightly better on the bed. He allowed the action, despite his mind telling him otherwise, but he was already numb to everything else. Pair of legs appeared on his sides, the touch grounding him as they slid down over the edge of the bed, right next to his own, one on each side. A warm body pressed against his back, one hand running through his hair, a face being pressed into the crook of his neck as Kip could feel the hot breath running down the inside of the back of his shirt.
“Hey.”
Kip knew the voice, he had expected it, and yet the jolt it sent through him was something he couldn’t explain. His hands slowly left his face, landing on his lap, not being sure what to do, how to behave. This was a situation he had found himself in too many times by now, and yet every time he was here, Kip didn’t know how to proceed. He felt so helpless, being held in arms that he both did and didn’t want to be in, not knowing what he was supposed to do. What he was allowed to do. And he hated it, and yet the words to express any of that were stuck in the throat that only allowed him to sob at moments like this.
He swallowed hard, not wanting to repeat the nights where things had gone down like this so many times before. He didn’t want that, but he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do.
Kip could feel the tears swelling in his eyes, trying to fight them back as much as possible without giving Cassidy a hint of it. Of course at this point he knew it was pointless, the other man was able to read him like an open book no matter the situation. It was just another reason why this hurt Kip so much, how he wasn’t able to hide anything but the things he desperately wanted Cassidy to see. He wasn’t sure if Cassidy was completely ignorant to those things, those feelings, but the fact that he never directly responded to any of them was giving Kip a really good hint where they were going with this whole thing.
“Kip --”
He didn’t want to hear it. Standing up, he still couldn’t escape the one arm that had snaked its way around his waist. He was held in place, firmly, yet gently, making sure he didn’t do anything drastic as he clearly wanted.
Feeling a hand grab a hold of his, Kip allowed himself to be pulled back down to the bed as Cassidy made him room for Kip to sit down next to him. There was no point fighting it, this would just end up like any other night. He was going to have a moment, they would talk it out, cuddle it out, that was going to be the end of it. He didn’t know why he thought it was going to be any different, but the thought that it wasn’t still ached his whole being more than any other night. The hand now holding his burning fingerprints on his skin that Kip never wanted to be able to wash away, but he knew that by the morning they would all be gone and he would have to start this painful circle all over again.
Kip could feel Cassidy looking at him, trying to observe the side of his face as Kip refused to look directly back at the man now sitting next to him. There was no point. Nothing was going to change.
He felt the hand leaving his, gently landing on his face, a thumb running over the cheek wet with tears that Kip didn’t even realize he had been crying.
“It’s going to be okay.”
Was it? Was it really? As long as Kip was concerned, no the fuck it wasn’t. But it was just another one of those thoughts that he couldn’t express, that he had to leave to burn inside of him until his lungs turned to ash so he couldn’t say anything anymore, even if he finally wanted to. And that was a thing he could never tell Cassidy. The one person that was supposed to be his worst enemy in this whole wide fucking world.
“It’s --”
“Is it?”
His voice was so quiet, but Kip could feel Cassidy tense as he heard the two words. His hand stopped on his face, Kip could have sworn he was looking at him with surprised, widened eyes, if he could have made out most of his features in the dark. Kip finally looked at him, confirming his suspicions to the best of his ability behind his own tears.
“Is it really?”
Cassidy just looked back at him, remaining silent. The oh so familiar silence that was driving Kip insane, up the wall, what have you. He had lost the ability to read its meaning a lot of times ever since they had become closer, and he didn’t like that. Cassidy used to be so easy to look at and see what he was thinking, and now every time Kip tried, nothing seemed to make sense. His own feelings thrown into the mix absolutely did jackshit to help with the situation, but even before then, before the realization, most of the time he was just lost when looking at the blond and trying to dig some kind of an explanation out of him and his voiceless self.
“…It will be.”
“How?”
Kip didn’t intend to snap at him, but he couldn’t stop himself before the word slipped out, laced with the venom of disbelief. At this point he was sure Cassidy was just making it up as he went along, trying the same things and same words that had previously worked, being oblivious to the fact that Kip was starting to grow immune to his fruitless efforts of comfort. On some level Kip obviously still believed him, like he had always done, hearing those words of encouragement and comfort still got to him, but at the same time he had started to believe that they were nothing but that, words without any deeper meaning behind them. Just noises to fill the dead air in hopes that they distracted him for long enough until Kip either forgot what he was struggling with or Cassidy could come up with better ones.
“How the fuck is it ever going to be okay? How is this supposed to get better if nothing ever fucking changes?”
“If you want it to change, maybe you have to try to do something about it.”
It was like something clicked inside of him, pushing Kip to the move. He wasn’t sure in hindsight if Cassidy had meant it as he took it, as an open invitation to close the gap between them and with a single shift motion move himself into his lap, but that’s how Kip ended up taking it. The blond was almost caught by surprise as he suddenly had Kip so close, but he didn’t try to push him away, instead his hands helped to steady him in place.
Only after his hands were already on the back of his head, Kip froze in place, realizing the direction he was pushing this. Even in the darkness he could see Cassidy almost too intensely staring back at him, neither of them moving an inch, waiting for the other to do something about the sudden shift in the situation.
“I-I…”
Kip’s voice drifted off, his head dipping down first, forehead pressing against Cassidy’s. He couldn’t explain any of this even if he wanted to, at least not without sounding like he was losing his mind more than he already was. The days and nights that had slipped past so far, so many that he barely remembered, had unexplainably been building up to this moment, and now he was too scared to do anything about it. Anything he wanted to say was stuck in his throat, the actions he wanted to take made him freeze in place worse than the anxiety he had felt leading up to this.
He had Cassidy right where he wanted, inches away, and he couldn’t even bring himself to look him in the eyes anymore. It was all so overwhelmingly much, all way too suddenly than he had prepared himself for.
Thankfully, it was Cassidy that tilted his head upwards, closing the gap to press a soft kiss on Kip’s lips first. He didn’t reply back to it, his mind yelling at him that this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, that this was nothing but a sick fucking joke being played on him. Cassidy had him by his mind, by his feelings, none of this was as real as Kip wanted, as he was hoping for.
“Hey…”
Kip could feel a small, soft track of kisses being traced down his cheek and his neck, sending shivers down his spine. The jolt pushed him over the line, finally getting some sort of control over his body in this situation he had put himself in, grabbing Cassidy by the shoulders and shoving him down against the bed. Hovering above him, Kip tried to steady his breathing, watching as the confused eyes looked back up at him from the disheveled blond.
“I… I need to hear you say it.”
Kip could feel the hands snaking their way around his neck, gently pulling him closer. He resisted, insisting on doing this first. “I need you to say it.”
Cassidy looked back at him, not being entirely sure where this was going as Kip shook his head back at his silence.
“I need to hear it. I…”
Kip leaned in closer by his own will, stealing a quick kiss from his lips. He wanted to do so much more, but he couldn’t before he would know this was real. That this wasn’t just a trick, not his mind lying to him, this wasn’t happening just because Cassidy thought it would fix him. No, Kip needed to know this was because he wanted it, because they both wanted it, before he could allow himself to proceed.
“I love you.”
Cassidy remained silent for a moment, Kip could feel the heat creeping up his cheeks as the words finally left his lips, burning his insides harder than they ever did when he couldn’t say them out loud. It was out of his hands now, all the hope he had he had put out there in the world. All he could do was hope that this wasn’t a fragment of his imagination like so many other things before, that this one thing he could feel with his whole being was actually real.
Kip was certain he could see a smile, before he was pulled down to Cassidy’s level by the back of his head.
“I love you too, Kip.”
The voice was barely a whisper, the last word of it melting into the kiss Cassidy pulled him into.
----------------
His eyes fluttering open, Kip started at the ceiling of the bedroom for a moment. He didn’t remember falling asleep, he had no idea what time it was, what day it was, what anything it was. The only thing he knew was that the bed and the bedroom were familiar to him, and the tingling feeling on his lips was something he had carried with him since last night.
His head slightly tilting to the side, his eyes dimmed a little at the sight of the empty half of the bed next to him. His hand lazily reached for the pillow, only to find it cold – it was obvious Cassidy had been up for some time now, without bothering to wake him up. That’s how this usually went, as Kip was the one out of the two of them that needed more rest in his currently still mostly messed up state.
Except after last night, Kip might have expected something to change, but…
Pushing the thought aside, he carefully sat up, observing his surroundings. The room was fairly dim still but he could at least see, so at least it should be day time. Getting up from the bed, Kip fished a pair of socks from the drawer, slipping them on before making his way out of the bedroom. As soon as he opened the door, he was attacked with a bolt of sunlight, but for the first time in forever it didn’t feel like it was immediately too much for him. Kip still had to shield his eyes a bit as he made his way down the stairs, but it honestly didn’t feel too bad.
Kip actually had to admit, his entire being felt lighter than it had in the previous days, weeks, maybe months at this point. He had honestly lost count how much time had passed since he had lost the title and Cassidy had started to care for him, but at this point Kip felt better than he ever had since that fateful night when everything had started to go downhill for him.
He headed towards the kitchen, hearing the water running over there. Kip stopped at the doorway, a little smile crossing his lips as he watched the shirtless blond make an attempt to prepare breakfast, turning the coffee maker on before he focused on getting the toast into the toaster. As he wrapped the bread bag shut and turned on his heels to head towards the fridge, Cassidy froze in place briefly as he saw Kip standing there, clearly not having heard him come in.
“…Hey.”
Kip nodded back to him, watching as Cassidy walked up to him, grabbing him by the hand and leading him to the kitchen table, gently sitting him down. “I was going to bring you something upstairs.”
Kip chuckled at him a little as he took a seat by the table. “It’s okay, at least we won’t get crumbs in the bed.”
Cassidy stopped, looking at him for a moment. It was so rare to see him without the sunglasses, but Kip could have sworn he also had a much brighter energy to him, something he had rarely seen from Cassidy before. Kip’s smile slowly faded from his lips, him tilting his head in a slightly concerned manner. “Is… Is something wrong?”
“No,” Cassidy finally replied after a short silence, smiling back at him. “I just… Realized something.”
Before Kip could question him further, Cassidy grabbed him by the front of his t-shirt, pulling him closer for a soft, deep kiss.
So it all really wasn’t just in his head, after all.
#fic#setting: belt corruption arc#character: orange cassidy#character: kip sabian#ship: orangekip#aew fanfiction#wrestling fanfiction
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Earthquake….i don’t understand how you do it. Like, truly, every time lmao 🤣 your writing and your Sickfics i just - ITS SO DAMN GOOD?? I consume. A delicious treat. Irresistible. I have already read this twice and I will be reading it again back to back with the prequel later because it’s simply, that fucking good.
I love Love LOVE thé Sickfic elements you focus on. I love how abrupt the start is!!! It’s really good for capturing that urgency cyno undoubtedly feels 🥺. There is something extra awful cuz he had that massive meal before his illness really kicked in and it shooows. I love how even then he still is hyper aware and hyper vigilant when most ppl would be focused on just…throwing up and getting it over with. That anxiety he has about it all is so good. 😭😭 I felt so bad for how sick his stomach was though poor thing. That’s a lot of fluid to lose in one day and I really like that you brought up the dehydration!! I also looooove the both ends continuation 🥺 like that’s the worst and the gas station is never the place you want to be stuck but it’s - it’s so REAL!!! something about him being sooooo so embarrassed even though it’s just Tighnari and he isn’t bothered has me in a choke hold. I also love imagining that Tighnari is keeping track of his symptoms and cataloging them so he knows what they will need to stock up on and be mindful off etc etc. There is something extremely comforting about…like..idk if this makes sense but in stories like this where a person is almost so sick that it transcends awkward? Like yes Cyno is embarrassed but also he can’t do anything BUT be vulnerable. And Tighnari’s steady and direct approach only has room for concern for Cynos well being and sympathy and it’s SO GOOD.
and then- THEN OH MY WORD feverish, relieved, absolutely SQUISHY Cyno 😭😭😭 my heart burst. It’s all over the floor after this fic. Tiny bits. That relief was palpable and I don’t blame him for being emotional at all. Everything about the end was the soothing comfort and safety he deserved. Even tho he still is sick the difference in environment is truly everything. And I’m truly OBSESSED with him going after nari after waking up, and practically nuzzling him???? Like who is this man who on a normal day would bleed confidence and authority. I can’t. I simply can not. I freaking LOVED this fic 🩷
Oh this made my day 😭 Thank you so much!! This was one of those fics where I felt like I could've done better, and I really worried it wouldn't live up to expectations (especially seeing as I was so happy with the prequel) so I'm really happy and relieved that it was still good!!
I loved writing the abrupt start, even if that's usually not my strong suit in writing. Poor Cyno was struggling on that first stretch of the drive, poor boy. Having a large, spicy meal before all this definitely didn't help. AND THE EMBARRASSMENT! He still can't stand the thought of anybody seeing him get sick aside from Tighnari, he will fight it tooth and nail unless Tighnari promises him they're alone 😭
Tighnari is the absolute best and I love him so much for it ahh. I also just love writing the contrast between them that comes out here. Tighnari being straightforward and to the point, he has no problem calling a spade a spade. Cyno on the other hand is just so mortified, just the thought of putting what's wrong into words makes him want to shrivel up and hide away. Gah I just love them, I adore them!
A few times I felt like the whole ending wasn't exactly needed, but I wasn't about to skimp on it. Cyno's just had such a bad day, I really wanted to write him getting the relief and comfort he's so desperately been longing for! I just love him being so relieved at the mere fact of being home, it makes my heart melt. He's still sick, he's going to be sick for a while, but he's home and that alone makes everything so much more tolerable. And the way he seeks out Tighnari!! Ahhh!!
YES I absolutely love thinking about how Cyno is normally this strong, authoritative figure, who's now just in this vulnerable position. I ADORE that!
Thank you so so much again!! I'm super happy you enjoyed it 🩷
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Im so sorry to hear what happened to you. You deserve to be happy and enjoy what you used to love. You deserve to be able to reclaim the things that became a trigger to you. Starscream would absolutely never hurt you- he cares about you and wants you to feel better. No matter how long it may take, he'll wait for you if/when you are ready to be with him again. Even if you can't, he truly wants you to be happy. He wants to see you smile and laugh and enjoy things without worry. I know it's tough to overcome something that feels like its been branded into your being, but everything heals with time. I wholeheartedly hope you can enjoy transformers again, and i sincerely believe that you will recover from this, no matter how long it takes. I'm just a random anon on tumblr, but i promise that there are more people like me who care for you. You deserve happiness.
Thank you anon. Thank you so much. I love how you worded all of this... I hope you don't mind I wanted to keep your ask in my inbox for a few days bc I wanted to go back and read it some more. I've been so heavily depressed since I've lost transformers. There's this heavy physical weight in my chest, like I've lost a part of myself ever since I lost these characters that are so deeply personal to me. It's one thing to lose a special interest when you have to depend on it to get through the day, but it's a whole new level to lose it due to trauma. This has never happened to me before, I didn't know it was possible for me to ever be afraid of Starscream. He has always felt like my soulmate, I felt like nothing could ever make me believe he'd love me any less for any reason, let alone the idea that he'd enjoy hurting me so violently. I will never be able to put into proper words how devastating this has felt for almost a year now, how horrifying it felt feeling them slip away from me one by one by one in the span of just 2 or 3 months, until finally Starscream was the last one that turned into a trigger in January. I feel like I'm trying to drag myself out of a deep dark pit and I can't find my way up to the surface. It has really been "branded into my being" as you put it, I was disrespected for so long, and having my F/Os turned into a trigger at the same time made me believe that they really would want me to be disrespected too, that they'd find me unworthy of love or kindness solely because of the person who treated me that way, and how much I had associated these characters with that person. It hurts so bad. I just want them back. I miss Starscream the most and I'd do anything to feel safe around him again, even if it is ever impossible for me to reclaim the others, Starscream means everything to me and losing him was like losing a piece of my own beating heart. I really believed we were soulmates (in self shipping terms) and I still want to believe that, despite how scared of him I feel on my worst days, and how much I cry missing him every day. Bee, Knockout, Arcee, Bulkhead, Megatron, everyone, all of them used to make me feel so comforted even when I felt like I couldn't go on anymore, now I don't have them to rely on when i need them the most and it's so fucking empty. It feels like someone ripped my heart out, now there's this whole vital piece of me that's missing.
(whoops I ended up rambling a lot so I'm putting the rest under a readmore, you don't have to read it if you don't want to. contains a bit of venting and some thank-you's for your very kind message and how your words have helped me feel comforted)
I feel so incomplete without my transformers F/Os to encourage me to keep going. Flinching and crying at so many of them feels so awful, and then there's those specific 5 or 6 characters that I can't even look at without having an anxiety attack, which feels so dumb every time I think about it. I know they're fictional, but they're so important to me, self shipping and escaping into fictional worlds has always been my coping mechanism. I never thought somebody could ruin that for me. I need to self ship, ever since I was little I have always needed a character to hold my hand through my worst times. I remember being three years old and my first self indulgent drawing was a scribbly crayon picture where Spongebob is holding my hand while we're jellyfishing and we're surrounded by heart-shaped jellyfish. And I remember I was crying while drawing it because I was so sad that my parents were always working and hardly ever talking to me. It's one of my earliest memories. It never got better. I was such a lonely kid growing up and now I am such a lonely adult and I've always needed F/O companionship. Having that torn away from me from so so so many tiny betrayals of one person, over and over again, it was hell to go through for so goddamn long and it's been hell to deal with the aftermath of it.
Thank you for the written reminder that they wouldn't hurt me. Honestly I cried a little reading that, not in a bad way or anything, I just. I need that reminder so often, probably every day. I don't know how to make it stick in my brain again. I don't know how to go back to the way I used to feel so wholly and unconditionally loved without anything holding me back. I want to believe that they wouldn't hurt me deep down, and I know that love is still in me somewhere. I know I can feel that love from him if I don't give up, I know something, anything can bring it back, I just can't figure out what. I don't know how much healing progress I'll have to do first, I don't know if I have to rewatch these shows and just push through the anxiety attacks or something, I don't know if I need to simply not rewatch these shows until the ptsd is easier to deal with, I don't know if I just need to cry and grieve when they're on the screen and let those feelings pass through me, I don't know if I need to draw myself with a transformer every day, I don't know if I have to avoid drawing them entirely. I don't know. I am so lost here. I was in such a bad predicament for almost a full year so I know it's going to take me a long time to recover from it, as much as I wish I could just heal overnight. I didn't escape my abusive situation until a month and a half ago, so now I'm really starting to process what happened to me.
She has a lot of friends/followers who are trying to attack me, which is another layer of stupidity to deal with, I hear she's writing rumors about me and tagging me, I don't know how true that is because I am not looking it up. I don't want to even know these things in general, I don't care what she posts about me, it's her blog and her way of coping I guess, but I just want her to never speak to me again. Or her followers, I want her supporters to leave me alone, none of this is even their business. Some of her friends are apparently writing posts about me where they want me to "get assaulted and killed" (???) which I obviously haven't looked up, I'm just blocking the usernames that my friends are telling me to block. I'm just trying to heal from all the shit I endured. I want to heal. I just try to remember the handful of particular messages I got from people who said "hey that person abused me too, you're not alone, she ruined transformers for me at one point too, you're not alone and you're not going crazy just because other people are excusing her actions. just because she's struggling does not mean she gets to hurt others" and I try to remember I have almost four hundred supportive messages in my inbox and dms right now, all of you telling me that i can do this, that I never lost my love from my F/Os, they are still with me even if I can't feel it *for now*. The harassment from others is like tiny crumbs, so miniscule compared to the love I am receiving. I'm trying to focus on the encouragement and love thrown my way, but on my rough days like today, everything just feels so heavy. I can't carry this grief on my own. I was isolated for so long. I have never felt this bad before. I really really really need help, I can't do this by myself anymore...
God. It feels so impossible to reclaim my love from these characters when it hurts so bad. I feel so fucking hopeless. My damage done to me was so severe I'm so scared I can't possibly be myself again. But I have no choice but to try, what else can I do?? I can't let it end this way, I just can't, I love them so much and they saved my life for three years, I can't just drop them. It's so unfair that I have to go through this at all, I didn't deserve what happened to me. I will get them back if it takes me days or weeks or months or years. It's been almost half a year since these triggers formed, I'm ready to try to reclaim a few of them now bc I hate living like this. but it's so fucking hard some days especially with the niche triggers that aren't TF related. Like today I'm fine with 1 trigger but I'm hurting at 9 others. Tomorrow I might be fine with all of them except for 2. I don't know. And transformers... that always hurts in some way, not necessarily anxiety inducing as badly as it did 6 months ago, but now I'm always crying when I see them, I'm always feeling this missing piece of myself hollow in my chest when I look at these comfort characters. I miss them so much. I miss Starscream so much. I miss Megatron. I miss Bumblebee. I miss Heatwave. I miss like 50 billion of them. I miss listening to my ship playlists, there's very few songs that don't remind me of them, so not being able to listen to music is rly harmful for me too. I miss myself. I haven't been myself in so long. I have no clue who I am right now. I haven't been inside of my body in a few days either. I am so numb.
I probably should have kept your message in my inbox a little longer, seems like I still need it ^^;; but I'll just go back and read it again when I click my anon tag.
Thank you for sending this. Everything you said is extremely comforting to me. Please know that it's because of messages like yours that I am able to gather a small bit of strength to get back up every time I am knocked down.
I am relieved you think I can recover, I am relieved to hear that you believe in me, because I am not strong enough to believe in myself just yet. You're not just "a random anon on tumblr" as you said, to me you're a sweet person somewhere in this world who sent me kind words when you knew I needed them. Thank you. ❤
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I'm curious as to the psychology of your kink. For someone so young, it seems like a pretty full on and specific kink. I am wondering firstly, what is the connect between fantasy and reality, if any, are you just engaging in fantasy purely for horny reasons? Does your fantasy and kink ever enter your reality and if so to what extent? Secondly, how did this kink begin for you - were you traumatised, did you simply explore the internet until stumbling across something that you explored further because of the sexual excitement it gave you, do you have mental illness or are you a fully functioning person? I think there's a lot to learn from you so please, the more detail and clarity, the better.
im pretty flattered that you seem to think im so interesting lolol
i dont know which kink youre specifically talking about though since a lot of my kinks can fall under this line of questioning. ill answer this for the three "worst" kinks i have: detrans/misgendering, cnc, and misogyny. if its not one of these three then lmk and ill answer again.
for detrans/misgendering, it really not that specific tbh. theres a lot of trans people who have a kink like this or similar to this. (forced) feminization is also very common, especially in masculine spaces. theres absolutely a psychological aspect to this, as well as a societal one. trans people are oppressed and often discriminated against in many ways, including being misgendered. this kink allows for a SAFE and CONSENTUAL space for someone to cope through their traumas in a healthy way.
theres also a VERY strict gender binary often forced on trans people by cis people, and sometimes others in our own community, that force a lot of us into a box. if you dont keep your hair short, wear boy clothing, like masc hobbies, and transition medically then youre not a real trans man. if you dont do makeup and wear dresses with long hair, tuck, get surgery or use padding for breasts, or act feminine then youre not a real trans woman. if youre too masc or fem or you dont fit into nonbinary stereotypes then you must be lying.
this kink is a very easy way to explore masculine and feminine sides to ourselves as trans people that we wouldnt be able to irl because of these harsh gender roles that we HAVE to adhere to otherwise no one takes us seriously (obviously trans people are valid NO MATTER HOW THEY PRESENT OR CHOOSE TO DO but this is a very common mindset we have to deal with).
i got into this kink bc my gender dysphoria is awful. its made me miserable for most of my life and it, alongside my adhd and possible autism, is why i struggle so much with depression and anxiety. im always worried about how ill be seen, if ill pass as male, and remembering my own body makes me sick. i started joking over half a year ago, saying "well i cant get dysphoric if i pavlov myself into getting horny everytime i get misgendered. haha checkmate t3rfs!!!" and then it became less of a joke.
i wrote stories of trans men exploring this kink in my writing and it really helped. im still dysphoric. i may joke about how this kink is the way to cure gender dysphoria but thats not how it actually works. i still have days where my body is unbearable and the thought of being feminized makes me want to hide away forever. but it genuinely did help to break out of those boxes i put myself in and play in a safe space with terms and mentalities regarding my gender.
in terms of fantasy and reality, this is purely fantasy for me. i have no desires to detransition, nor do i have any want to be misgendered outside of horny purposes. i am a man, i will always be a man, and thats not going to change just because tumblr user xyz called me babygirl. im almost a year on testosterone and im considering getting top surgery as we speak. this kink doesnt affect me on any other level than horny.
for cnc/noncon, this one is probably a bit more in depth. i dont have any specific trauma in this field. ive been touched inappropriately against my consent a handful of times (as in someone touched my chest or my hips) but nothing that spawned this kink.
however, there are studies that show that a LOT (as in over half) of afabs get fantasies regarding cnc and non consensual situations. this DOES NOT mean that they want to taken advantage of. for the most part, this kink derives from the idea of being wanted so badly by someone that they would take you no matter what. its also the idea of POWER PLAY, of being helpless and not having to make any sexual decisions.
theres also a lot of trauma involved and, as stated before, kink is a SAFE and HEALTHY place to cope with that trauma as long as safe words, aftercare, and proper communication is enforced. there are many people who like being in a cnc scene and knowing that, unlike their trauma, they now have CONTROL over the situation and can stop it whenever they want and have their wishes be RESPECTED. in this area, i am the wrong person to ask so i implore you to do more research on your own with this topic if youre truly curious.
for ME personally, i like noncon/cnc bc of that power dynamic. i am a submissive who could NEVER dom in any sense of the word. i like being completely submissive and i like having my dom take control and do anything and everything for me. i dont want to make decisions and i like being overpowered and taken care of. its just hot to be forced to do something, whether that be manhandled into the next room or be good.
this is a fantasy that ive had for years, even when i was a kid. i dont know WHY that is, but i do know that a lot of my friends who have childhood related trauma also had fantasies like that as a kid. i also discovered hardcore porn and noncon scenes when i was WAY too young to even know what sex was and im sure that exposure affected me in an unhealthy way too. again, id implore you to look for educational resources on the nature of forceful and violent fantasies, both sexual and not. its a fascinating subject and bdsm and kink psychology and etiquette has been a fixation of mine for years.
and it is just that, a fantasy. in real life, i am extremely sex repulsed and borderline identify as asexual because i dont want to do anything like that with anyone. im also, as mentioned before, extremely anxious and socially awkward so i dont like being near people at all. the idea of anyone hitting on me or not respecting my boundaries makes me feel ill, even if its hot while im horny.
for misogyny, ill keep it short bc its related to everything above. basically combine my reasoning for cnc and detrans and youd get my reason for this. its basically me, as a trans person, going from one extreme of being so masculine it was toxic and exploring the other extreme. its once again just me exploring a taboo subject in a safe and consensual space.
misogyny kink is rooted in strict female gender roles, as well as the forcefulness and disrespect you get from cnc. thats why its my favorite kink, it combines everything i like but specifically utilizes WHY i like those things. i discovered it when i made my first detrans/misgendering tumblr account and made a side account dedicated to it, and then when i made this account i just combined the two.
i grew up super fucking feminist and i still am a major feminist who is all about supporting women and their choices. i love women and think theyre cool as hell and much, much stronger than i am lolol. this is just a fantasy for me, nothing more. this is another kink that is heavy on the dom/sub dynamics, as well as giving people who experience trauma at the face of their oppression a place to take back those experiences.
anyways thats my super long post!!! tysm for asking, anon, i love answering questions. if you have any further questions then you can shoot me some more anons or you can message me directly, i dont mind :D
i hope i answered your question and it all made sense!!!!
#asks#im not gonna proofread this though so im sorry if theres anything fucked up#its 3 am for me lolol
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Valentine
a song-titled/inspired Welcome Home one shot (also on AO3)
featuring: Frank Frankly, Eddie Dear
wordcount: 1249
my other WH fics!
Within a few weeks of Eddie's arrival, the construction of his post office is complete— And though it's cause for celebration, Frank can't help but feel a little disappointed for the successful build. He'd been housing the man because of it, in order to keep him safe, of course. In that time he'd gotten used to having someone to share parts of his day with…
It's a routine he'd miss; Waking up in a blanket fort that'd partly fallen apart during the night, making breakfast for the both of them, waving Eddie off to work and welcoming him back at the end of his mailrun…
A mildly frustrated huff escapes Frank as he waters his flowers, giving them their usual careful attention even if his mind is far away.
He's been alone for so long and never been bothered by it— What's changed? What is it about Eddie that makes him want to spend so much time with him? Frank's not sure he'll ever be able to find out. Lucky for him, though, Eddie isn't exactly a man of subtlety.
"Frank, hon!" He hears a now familiar voice call from his fence, causing him to dust off his hands as he stands from where he'd been knelt. "Mail for ya!"
Mail? For him?
Fixing the man with an inquisitive look, he makes his way over to the fence.
"You're sure?"
"Sure as I am that I can read and write." Hah, he's so smart.
Raising his brow, Frank takes the envelope offered to him. There it is, his name written in cursive as plain as day… And a heart beside it. "Who is it from?"
"Oh, I couldn't say. Secret admirer has to stay secret, you know how it is." Eddie hums, watching Frank as he begins to pace back and forth, absently tapping the envelope against the palm of his free hand. He's nervous, clearly. "… Gonna open it?"
"What if it's a joke?" Oh, Frank's not just nervous, he's scared. Love is a scary thing for those who have few experiences of it. "Best not to entertain it, not let my hopes get too high."
That catches Eddie's interest, and he does a terrible show of hiding it. "You hopin' for someone specific?"
"I don't know." Frank admits, pausing in his tracks to stare down at the thing. Maybe a pros and cons list would help him decide…
Eddie has other ideas. Namely, ripping the bandaid off. "How about I come back here when I'm done my run, and we open it together? Don't have to do it alone." And if Frank rejects the letter, laughs at it… He has his answer.
Thinking this over, Frank gives a slow nod. "That might be best."
"Then I'll see you later. Don't stress over it too much, okay?" Offering his best attempt at a comforting smile and tipping his hat, Eddie soon sets off on his way.
Frank does stress over it. Very much, in fact. He brings the envelope inside and tucks it away before returning outside. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Not at all, apparently, because he can still feel his skin crawling with anxiety about the possible contents.
There are three possibilities, he decides as he scrambles back inside to take it back from its hiding spot. He sets it upright on his kitchen table against his salt and pepper shakers, eyes narrowed in concentration while he stares the things down.
One; There could be just plain awful things written within, that heart by his name specifically put there to lower his guard. He could be called the least favourite of the neighbors, the most boring— And the worst thing is, he doesn't doubt those things. But hearing it, or rather seeing it personally written out… Frank doesn't know how he'd cope.
Two; It could be the basic fanmail that Wally and the others tend to be flooded with, all praise and ideas for the future to keep them inspired, as though they need much encouragement at all. That, he could accept and move on from. What would it change?
Three; Eddie had called the person a secret admirer. If this is some sort of confession, some love letter, and he still doesn't know who it is by the end of it… What can he do about it? Wait for more, continue to be dragged along for however long this person is comfortable with and still hope by the end that it isn't a cruel joke? What if one day they meet, and it's not what either party wanted? Or, equally, the person is obsessed and Frank can't return those feelings?
When Eddie comes back, Frank's sat at the table with his arms covering his head— Is he sleeping?
The mailman approaches quietly, setting his bag aside before touching a gentle hand to that tense shoulder. "Frank…?"
"I don't think I can do it."
He sounds broken, and for so many reasons, Eddie's heart breaks. Maybe he should have tried to come back sooner, should have opened it with him when he gave it to him earlier— Frank's the most serious of the neighbors, it only makes sense that he ended up overworking himself with worry about this.
In a moment of bravery, Eddie takes a seat by Frank, glancing to the envelope. "I could read it to you?" He offers, voice soft. "Or if you really don't want to deal with it, we can bin it…"
Sniffling, the man shrugs, very much putting effort into keeping his head on straight even if that means keeping his face smushed against the table. "Someone took time out of their day to write to me," He reasons, voice wobbly. "I should hear what they have to say, good or bad."
That's that decided, then.
Taking in a deep breath of his own to steele himself, Eddie reaches to pick up the envelope.
"Dear Frank Frankly,
I have a small confession. Please forgive this pourin' of my heart.
The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were an angel— Recently, I've begun to regard you as somethin' so much more sacred than that.
I know that you don't like things like surprises, or loud noises… And knowin' that, I admire your patience with your other more excitable neighbors when they come runnin' along the path to interrupt your peace.
I know that to you I'm probably just a fool, but I think we could be happy together, flutterin' about like two delightful butterflies."
… Number three. What can he do about it?
Shifting to sit up straight, Frank wipes his eyes— Meeting Eddie with a puzzled expression as he looks to his hands.
"You didn't open it."
"I didn't."
Furrowing his brow, he watches as the envelope is turned over, the side with his name facing him now.
"That's your handwriting."
"It is, Frank."
Frank swallows, breathing steadying out as he slowly wraps his brain around it all.
"Were you hopin' for someone else…?"
"Never, Eddie."
Eyes widening, Eddie grins at that, a strong blush quick to spread across his cheeks.
"So…?"
Frank takes a moment to think, lips slowly curling up into a smile of his own. "I think it's a shame you arrived after Valentine's day."
"You're right about that, hon… Do you have plans for next year?"
Chuckling at that, Frank shakes his head, reaching to rest his hand on Eddie's arm. "We have plenty of time to make those plans together, I think."
#welcome home fic#my writing#frank frankly#eddie dear#frank frankly x eddie dear#love letter#(not so) secret admirer#confessions#getting together#spotify
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Hadestown is SUCH a good musical! I’ve listened to the entire soundtrack dozens of times, and my favourite songs so many more. And through that, I’ve noticed some messages that may or may not have been intended, and i keep noticing more. I wanna share some of my favourites because it’s so good and i wanna talk about it. (Spoiler alert if you haven’t listened to it. You should. It’s good.)
1. There’s an anti capitalist message. This is strongest in Chant, but it appears throughout most of the musical. In Hadestown, you live to work, and lose yourself in the process. You lose your memories, your identity, and your freedom. All while the boss rakes in the money at your expense. And to deal with that, you pay someone else, the wife of the boss, to give you a glimpse of what you’re missing. Stars, flowers, the moon. Things that are free are suddenly locked behind a paywall, which makes you keep working to get the things that let you tolerate all that working. That sounds an awful lot like capitalism…
2. It shows that you need to let your significant others be their own people, not hold them to you and never give them space. Hades wanting to be with Persephone all the time nearly ruined their marriage, and the world with it. He grew obsessive and possessive, viewing her as an object he should be able to control. Which ended up driving her to driving in order to put up with this. He even made artificial replacements for the things she loved on the surface to try and keep her from returning. And by the end, he seemed to have learned. He learned to be patient and to trust his wife. And i like to think he didn’t fall back into old habits.
3. And while you definitely shouldn’t be overbearing with your loved ones, it also says not to neglect them. Orpheus didn’t pay attention to Eurydice when she said there was a storm coming, and she ended up dying as a result. That’s obviously taking it to the extreme, but it’s good to listen to your loved ones when they tell you something is wrong.
4. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Orpheus walked halfway to Hell and back using sheer determination. The road may be scary, but you’ll never know if you can make the trip if you don’t try.
5. Wait and see if you can’t change the outcome. Orpheus was told that if he looked behind him, Eurydice would go back to Hadestown. He began to grow paranoid that she was not following him. If she was not there, looking behind him wouldn’t change that. If she was, it would. So logically, he should have finished the trip instead of looking behind him. If she wasn’t there, he could go back. He got there before, he’d be able to do it again. But because he looked, she was sent back and he was unable to save her again.
6. “The meanest dog you’ll ever meet, he ain’t the hound dog in the street. He’ll bare some teeth and tear some skin, but brother that’s the worst of him. The dog you really gotta dread is the one that howls inside your head. It’s him whose howling drives men mad and a mind to its undoing.” I interpret this to mean that you are your own worst enemy. That little voice in the back of your head that puts you down or says things to scare you is worse than anyone else. Because it knows you. And it follows you. And it is so much worse than some random person saying those same things, imo. I personally view this, along with another bit later on in Wait For Me (Reprise) about the hardest road to walk, is about mental illness. Depression. Anxiety. Disorders that make that voice so much worse. And through that, there’s this hopeful melody. They sound a little scared to me, but hopeful. Which just makes what comes next that much more tragic. Because sometimes people stumble. Sometimes they fall back into that thinking and do things that they might regret. For me, it was losing touch with so many of my friends. But it can be different for everyone. But try to remember that hopeful melody is still going, even when you can’t hear it.
7. Times are tough. There are a lot of people who can barely afford to eat, if they can at all. People who are so focused on surviving that they don’t have time to focus on living. There is a difference.
8. Weddings are expensive.
I know it got kinda heavy there, but it’s a heavy musical. I’d love to know your own interpretations, things that you noticed, favourite songs/lyrics, character breakdowns, and anything else! It’s my favourite musical, but i don’t know anyone else who likes it, so I’d love to be able to discuss it with someone!
#i also need these people to make one about achilles#like right now#I’m so sick of straight achilles#and i feel like they’d do him right#hadestown#cw depression#anti capitalism
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so..
didnt want to make a huge deal of it at the time bc anxiety and what have you, buuut since yesterday marked 2 full months from this thingy (perhaps most impactful in my life so far lol), figured i'd do a little post anyway?? felt appropiate what with it being pride month and ya know :zoomies:
(tldr, have two rad little lines going across on my body and feeling more light and normal (in the best kind of way) than i have for years :catlove:)
i'm in an incredibly lucky place living situation wise (s/o being in a position where he could take a loan for us, and finland being a country that doesnt generally indiscriminate these kind of things as much) where i could get a good ol operation that single-handedly yoinked off my serious dysphoria and -related anxiety and its been (and still is) so incredibly freeing and pleasant and carefree vibe when ur body feels and looks the way you felt it should have always been. especially when, (tw: dysphoria) increasingly for the past couple years its felt just so incredibly.. wrong? to an extent you felt constantly sick?, for reasons you cant even quite explain?, for features your biology imposed on you without any word on your part, and the societal norms or whatever that came with it??? and just.. the entire lack of choice or being unable to do anything about it?? absolutely worst. do not recommend. unfortunately a fairly common experience in the lgbt circles (that i keep hearing) and something a lot of people have to deal with, unfortunately. so in a very stark comparison, post-op and recovering and just /living/ without those restrictions or weights on ya, it's pretty freakin rad. having authority on the silly little meat vehicle again haha.
(recovery wise feel entirely normal and well by now, just the whole 'having a both physical and very taxing mental weight off of the shoulders that i'd not realised how long its been there' has had me feeling very childlike joy and the like, yknow. maybe some of u could tell from the text brrrr nyoomies for a while now huhu :zoomies:)
dunno if this is "too personal" or unnecessary or kinda silly to share, but kind of jus wanna put it out there in case there's the odd person in there who feels the same way, incredibly awful for reasons you cant quite explain or even grasp - i promise you're not inherently broken or "wrong", there is a reason for it, gender or neurodivergency wise or otherwise. it sure took me a while, and while it's an unique road for everyone, u can get there, one way or other. for example im more comfy with my brain funnies than i've been in years just from reading more and getting to know likeminded people and overall understanding things better, and that alone has helped me a lot. dont necessarily feel the need to transition anything further body wise either; dont consider myself a trans person, and dunno what kind of label or tag would even fit my gender other than just?? kind of vaguely nonbinary i guess?? since im just.. omee? default person shaped? and for the longest time, it feels good and normal and /right/. dunno. wanted to share the excellent good vibes despite this whole mess of a world situation lol. #textwall #manywords
happy pride y'all! every single one of you friendshapes is very important and appreciated ❤️
for context! i'm huge fan of people who are happy with their bodies; its the best possible place to be! and such, want to confirm I dont have and never had anything against female chest in general, im genuinely glad some people can carry themselves with pride and joy, it simply wasnt a concept my brain could accept for me; personally they looked and felt really wrong on me, despite being physically healthy and "normal"; nothing were wrong with my pre- chest shapes except them residing on my body.
#lgbt#nonbinary#gender-affirming surgery#neurodiversity#wholesome#good vibes#tw dysphoria#tw surgery#pride month#personal post
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I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about my ex. Not in a I want him back way — I was thinking about the break up and its lingering pains despite it being nearly a calendar year ago.
As I was laying awake by myself with no one to call, I somehow got stuck in the memory and couldn’t get out, like I was stuck in a bad dream. My present emotional state was superimposed on the memory and as I envisioned myself sitting there next to him, I pictured myself on the brink of a panic attack, fighting the urge to hit or scratch myself or dig my nails into my arms because I didn’t want him to see me like that.
My hands were shaking and my voice was shaking and he could tell I was holding back something awful and he didn’t want to leave, but I kept begging him to. I felt like he wanted to stay so he could convince himself he was a good person, like he had done his duty of taking care of me one last time. He broke up with me because he claimed I was too stressed, that I worried too much, and he hadn’t even remotely seen or heard about the depths of my anxiety at throat point. I wanted him to leave because I felt like he would use my present anxiety as an additional justification for breaking up with me. I pictured him telling all his friends afterward how crazy I was, what a burden it was for him to have to just to calm me down, how I only would’ve been a dead weight in his life — despite that fact I kept the worst parts of myself so neatly hidden away from him. I tried so hard to be good for him. But of course he wouldn’t tell them that, or how I pled with him to leave.
I pictured him trying to hold me as I was shaking, trying vehemently not to hyperventilate and telling me he was right there, and I pictured myself holding myself back from screaming that it didn’t matter that he was right there, because the second I calm down he would walk out the door without turning back anyway. And I pictured myself agonizingly attempting to hold myself back from saying those things because honesty was never really something he wanted from me. He would just add it to the list of things he hated about me.
I don’t know how long I lay awake, stuck in that loop. I just wanted him to leave. To leave my apartment. To leave my mind. To leave my memory. But he was simultaneously constantly leaving and wouldn’t go away.
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