#with how long it been since i last posted i am genuinely shocked to see anything new
Video
youtube
17 minute interview with Chita Rivera talking about Casper the Musical when the 2001 production was being made
#casper the friendly ghost#casper the musical#chita rivera#2001 revival#video#with how long it been since i last posted i am genuinely shocked to see anything new
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Brothers Best Friend
Iceman x reader (wolfman's sister) callsign sunshine
Requested @nsvsbd
Warnings: um a sick punch? slider being a dick?
a/n: I am so sorry this took so long, i was up super late working on it and then wanted to make sure it wasn't garbage before posting, thank you for reading!!
Leo always had one rule for you, do not date his friends. It was a mutual rule you two had growing up together considering you were close in age. This rule only became more serious when you both went into the navy to become pilots.
It was never really a problem for you, you found most navy men obnoxious. Most of the time you were stationed away from each other anyway. So when you were both called back to top gun together you were elated. It had been 10 months since you'd last seen your brother.
You walk into the bar near base scanning the crowd for Leo. Spotting him by the bar you grin and make your way over to him.
"wolfie" you shout, you see his shoulders tense. He turns quickly.
"sunshine what are you doing here?" the shock on his face makes you laugh.
"what did you think they wouldn't call for me? we both know I'm the better sibling" He rolls his eyes at you, it's then that you notice the blonde and some giant laughing next to him.
"well hi there, I'm sunshine" Your sweet southern accent comes out thick in that moment.
"Im Iceman" the blonde grins at you, you can't help the passing thought that he is beautiful, and the disappointment that he's Leo's friend.
"I'm slider" You're tempted to ask if this man even fits in the planes.
It doesn't take you long to mesh in with your brother and his friends. Though you do sneak off every once in a while to catch up with old pilot friends of your own. The night ends quicker than you wanted it too, but you find yourself in bed thinking of beautiful blue eyes and smile that takes your breath away.
___
It's been a week, and it has been one grueling torturous week. You finally have a day off and your idea of a good time is to sit your ass on the beach with adult drinks by yourself. You should have figured everyone else would've come to the beach too.
It's not long before none other than a giant man who has taken to getting on your nerves more than anyone else is blocking the sun from you.
"oh of course you are here" you groan
"oh don't lie to me, you know if i'm here so is ice"
"oh and why would I care about that?" you quirk up a brow at him and he just laughs.
"we both know you like him so let's not pretend." You glare at him. From the corner of your eye you see ice and leo walking up to you.
"Sunny! what are you doing here?" your brother seems genuinely happy that his favorite people are all here, and you feel so guilty that you caught stupid feelings for his friends. You can't do anything about it, your pact, your brother is more important than minor feelings.
You play this dance all day, you and ice get a moment to yourself and you tease sure, but there is no actual bite to your words. Slider corners you and irritates you about your feelings, those comebacks do in fact have a bite. Your brother comes back around and suddenly everyone is on their best behavior.
You should have realized Ice would notice this pattern too. What you don't realize about this pattern is that every time ice is with someone else he's asking about you.
"what is going on with you and slider?" it's a brief moment in the day where you two got a moment of peace, your brother and slider playing in the waves.
"what do you mean?"
"I mean he looks like a kid on christmas every time you talk but you look like you'd rather be six feet under?" You grumble something about how you would in fact rather be six feet under than talk to him.
"he just likes to get on my last nerve is all" and ice wouldn't admit it but he hates how often he sees you with slider, is there something going on with him?
Logically he thinks, there's no way, with everyone else you are so sassy and you mean every word, yet with him you are so sweet.
"If he's too much let me know, I can tell him to back off" he's nervous as to what slider is saying to you too, after slider figured out his crush on you he's been worried he would say something and make it weird.
"Don't worry, I can handle him" and you send a sweet smile his way, the kind that makes his heart pound a little faster and a smile take over his own face.
He didn't realize how true your words of taking care of yourself were though.
It was three days after your day off at the beach, you were in the locker room after a particularly brutal day. Slider, apparently never knowing when to back off continued to pester.
"hey shortcake, I dropped my bag can you grab it seeing as you're so close to the ground" you roll your eyes at him and shove past him.
"that's not very nice shortie" he mumbles. He also catches the way your jaw clenches. So he moves closer, resting his arm on your head.
"would you rather me tease you about your little crush on I-" and you are punching him the face right in front of everybody. A sickening crack sounds in the startlingly quiet room.
The shock on everyones face as blood drips from sliders nose is palpable. You shake your fist, knowing you will have a bruised hand tomorrow.
"fuck off slider" and with that you stalk out of the locker room. It's maybe ten minutes later than you get a knock on your room door. You open it, expecting to be berated by a commanding officer, and instead find ice, ironically holding ice out for you.
"figured your hand might need this?" you let out a disbelieving laugh.
"i just broke your friends nose and you're checking on me?" you swear you see the hint of a blush come up his cheeks.
"it was a killer punch, but slider will be fine" you quirk a brow at this.
"I mean you'll be fine too but... I just wanted to check on you, I know he's been an ass to you." You snort at that. You are use to jokes, usually about being a girl or being short or whatever else, but you don't want to be the brunt of school girl crush jokes for the rest of your time here and he was about to make that a reality. Of course you can't tell that to the man standing before you, seeing as he's the one you've got a school girl crush on.
Tom reaches for you hand to assess the damage done, his touch sending tingles up your arm and making your breath catch. Of course luck isn't on your side and he hears it.
"did I hurt you?" and there's panic behind his eyes, the way he's being so gentle with you has your heart pounding.
"I-uhm- no no you didn't" You see his shoulders relax slightly as he slowly starts pressing gently on your hand.
"It doesn't feel like anything's broken but it's gonna be tender for a few days" When he looks up at you, you realize how close you two had gotten, your hand still gently in his grasp.
You see his beautiful eyes flicker down to your lips. You can't really tell if your heart is beating faster or if it stopped all together. You feel like time freezes as you see him tilt his head, moving closer and closer to you.
"stop!" he pulls back abruptly.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." he looks embarrassed and hurt and you have to put him out of his misery.
"It's not that I don't want you to kiss me.... Leo and I have a pact. I can't date his friends and he can't date mine" you did not expect him to burst out laughing at this.
"Leo is the one that has been harassing me to make a move all week." Your mouth drops open.
"He what!" He laughs at the shock on your face before stepping closer to you again. His hand lands on your cheek in a gentle caress.
"does that mean I can kiss you now?" and all you can muster is a gentle nod.
It's safe to say Leo and Slider are childish little shits, but it lead to this and you wouldn't trade it for anything, not when his lips feel like everything you have ever dreamed of. It felt like you were home.
Taglist:
@alanadetigy
@luckyladycreator2
@multiplefandomsmess
@tkmarvel-divergentbish
@ohh-to-be-a-frog
@roosterschanelslut
@americaarse
@malindacath
@atarmychick007
@trikigirl271
@lustfulseonghwa
#iceman kazansky#tom iceman kazansky#iceman#iceman x reader#tom kazansky x reader#tom kazansky#topgun#top gun 1986#top gun#top gun fanfic
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i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.
i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.
i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.
i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.
i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.
shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.
this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.
i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!
goodbye for now,
rose (aka mariejordans)
#gen v#heronamedhawks#update this user is actually a racist transphobic piece of shit so please block them and do not give them any more of your attention
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Well...Happy 1 year of QSMP I guess...
There's just no easy way to say anything about everything that's been happening the past few weeks and everything that's happened since yesterday because it's a fucking dumpster fire and I'm just so tired of it all to be honest...
But this post isn't about that.
I still want to celebrate this server's first year anniversary because of how much it means to me personally. I made a post talking about how I initially started watching the qsmp (two days early 💀) but I'll reiterate what I've always said:
That despite all the problems of the server, despite all the damage that has been done, never forget what it has managed to achieve and hopefully continues to achieve in the future, under better conditions.
The QSMP's mission was to unite people from all over the world to play together and be friends despite speaking different languages and having different cultures. It united communities and formed friendships across the globe. Personally, achieving that takes more than just sticking random people in the same room together because it's about making genuine connections that could last a lifetime. And the qsmp achieved that. I'll never stop saying this because despite all its glaring problems, the qsmp is revolutionary for all the good it has managed to do.
Ok, like think about the translations alone. I'm using Bad as an example because he's the only one so far that I've seen do this but, BBH has set up live translations of multiple languages on his screen so non-english speakers can still understand his streams and his vods even if he's not playing on the qsmp. That wouldn't have happened without the QSMP's influence. That's fucking incredible!
Think about all the CC's and admins that became friends after meeting on the server. Former admins like Lumi (Pomme) and Shade (Dapper) still talking to Bad on his chat and watching his stream. That's still really awesome! Not to mention all the amazing collaboration projects with many qsmp members outside minecraft like Ordem Paranormal and Liar Liar, to name a few.
Look, the last three weeks have been extremely difficult on everyone. I myself am tired of the situation and scrolling through the tag, especially after yesterday, just makes me sad tbh. For the first time since these weeks, I felt so despondent and shocked about everything. It got to the point where, after Shade and Lumi announced their departure, I called my mom and broke down sobbing and vented about the whole admin situation. And bless her heart, my mom actually listened and I'm going to share the advice she gave me:
"Let them fix the problem. Let the company do the restructuring they need to do because right now, it sounds like they have a lot of problems to fix. It's going to take a long time before things can go back to any sense of normalcy, so while they do that, focus on yourself for now. If you're so invested in all the problems of this online world, maybe it's time to step back for now. Maybe it's time to focus on the real world."
And well, she's right. I've been so upset about the situation that my mental health wasn't faring well because of it. Yesterday was kind of a wake up call for me I guess?
I've been in this fandom for 10 months now. It's the longest time I've been invested in a community and qsmp has and will always have a special place in my heart. But I think it's time to let go and move on for now. I'll keep my hopes up and hope that the future is bright, and the qsmp will continue because it has so much potential to achieve more greatness, but I'll leave the project to rest and focus on other endeavors for now.
I'll be posting art and checking in on stuff from time to time, and of course, I'll be watching BBH, but it might be time to depart and say, "Thanks for everything, and I'll see you later."
Most people will be ashamed to mention the fandoms they've been a part of when they were younger, but 10 years from now, if anyone ever asks if I was a part of the qsmp fandom, I'll gladly say yes and tell all the good stories I have about it.
I love the community we made here on qsmpblr, and if I trust the QSMP's mission of uniting people, then I trust that, no matter what happens, this community will be here when I return.
Because...Despite everything, it's all about love, right? And no matter what happens, the love is still there, and will always be.
Thank you for the journey <33
#qsmp#no matter what happens itll be ok#we'll all be ok i promise#sorry for the long post but i wanted to post my thoughts#i have hope for a new and bright future#like pomme said: its not an ending but rather the beginning of a new chapter#so thank you everyone for making the qsmp the most wonderful experience anyone can have#i'll probs be here to reminisce about certain moments and memories that i truly cherish#even tho we all went thru a fucking avalanche i still want to celebrate today at least#above all pls continue making fanart animations fics theories and analyses etc#and pls continue giving love and support to the admins<333
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How are you feeling about the new ep?
Several things— but for context— we are to believe that it is Cecil who chooses what he wants broadcasted on his show.
1. Cecil is alone. Even if he’s not, he feels entirely alone— which makes sense since the last episode told us that the town was losing faith in him to be objective on the current situation (uowii and ‘siding’ with Carlos). I would like to think it is not a coincidence that he chose to play recordings of one of the loneliest residents in Night Vale — a resident who was trapped in space, had little concept of time, and made recordings even though she wasn’t sure if any one was listening.
2. There was a curious amount of emphasis placed on truth— and how truths change from person to person. How each person brings a new world with them. How truths can change if forced to by circumstance or other people. How being alone and feeling alone can coincide but aren’t mutually exclusive. This part in particular is driving me insane:
“We are the only species to tell harmless lies that our audience knows are lies, in order to delight and inspire. What a heavy burden the truth. What a light gift a fabulation. A lie is a thing with feathers.”
Cecil knows what’s going on. I was unsure before whether or not he knew— but I’d be genuinely shocked if he didn’t know most if not all of whatever Carlos has planned / is doing. A lie is a thing with feathers is just another bird reference too which was a nice touch.
3. Cecil’s closing remarks about Radio Jupiter still feeling alone / processing being alone, despite living in the town with them once more after being away for so long reminded me of someone else. Cecil says:
“I think she is still recovering from her years of solitude, and may need some time to return to us completely. She should take all the time she needs.”
You know who also had years alone? Of solitude? Who came back changed? Carlos. And I think it is a fun way for Cecil to convey information he genuinely means without directly saying who. Cecil has used the stories of those around town in order to explain his thoughts and feelings in the past. It’s part of the shows structure. This doesn’t feel any different to me. (I posted ‘cheat you say’ as a joke, but the ad read about luck, cheating, manipulation and getting off free with no consequences with any and all info available is interesting to note.)
5. Cecil’s emphasis on humans innate desire to tell stories. Cecil describes a scenario where the world is ending, people huddle together and someone tells a story, and someone laughs. Broadcaster and audience. Cecil is reminding everyone of his role.
Excerpt from transcripts reads: [I want adventure, I am ambitious, I wish I had an audience. Any audience. Ah, I’m disappointing. Sorry.]
I can’t just sit here and NOT think that Cecil is expressing feelings and frustrations through Radio Jupiter. He even calls himself Radio Cecil shortly after. Something else I noticed, which is most likely me applying new context to old context is about the infamous phrase “mostly void, partially stars” all the way from episode one. Cecil says:
“But at night, I can look up, and see the light in her window. And from that window, she can look down and see the lights of our windows. The stars she sees now have human faces behind them. I hope every day she feels a little less alone.”
Mostly void, partially stars. There is so much out there we can’t see and don’t know. That is scary, and overwhelming, and othering. But peppered throughout that void are stars. Faces. People, who are there to break up the void and help you feel less alone. It’s a lovely sentiment which has always been a driving force of Night Vales charm and sentimentality, but with the context of this episode and the last, it now feels like an ache.
Bonus mentions:
1. Cecil pronouncing Detroit with a french flare always cracks me up.
2. Aquarius: NO — Taurus: DEFINITELY NOT
3. Cecil being fucking so sad and small about not laughing??????? Hello????????
4. THE QUESTION OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU EXIST IS STILL OPEN.
5. I really enjoy the VA for Radio Jupiter— I also really enjoyed the fun word play they did using the alphabet.
Conclusion: It wasn’t the episode I expected/wanted to get with everything happening— but I’m not entirely disappointed! Or surprised. It wasn’t in the cards for them to give us THREE big ones in a row. It felt very intentional to me, especially with the upcoming hiatus. I enjoyed it because I love Radio Jupiter since we first heard from her (which I will be going back to look and see how her episode related to the events surrounding it at the time).
Perhaps I read too much into things, but it’s fun! :o) But no matter how you look at it— Cecil Palmer chose to empathize with a lonely girl, who felt out of place and time. He also chose to hold his head up high and remind people that he is above all else, a story teller, even if those stories sometimes contain truths that might look different from your own.
#thank you !#this was long sorry#long post#<—sorry#i just love radio jupiter!#i wonder what her real name is#wtnv#welcome to night vale#wtnv spoilers#ask tag
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Snakes, Books and Radio
👿
Crowley & Aziraphale & Alastor
Post S2 (good Omens) and S1 (Hazbin)
Alastor groaned. Despite what was said, Adam could fight well.. Then again, apparently he had been killed by Nifty and Lucifer so…
None of his tricks worked to heal the open wound and, without his staff, he couldn't do anything else. There was only one thing for it. Grabbing the two pieces of his cane, he stood unsteadily and, with great effort, opened a portal, shifted to his human guise and stepped through.
In Soho
Aziraphale made a beeline for his favourite chair, a book in hand. Just as he was about to sit, the bell rang suddenly. He sighed and said, as politely as he could,
"Sorry we're-"
He stared at the figure in the door before changing his words
"My Deer! I wasn't Expecting you!"
Alastor grinned pointy-toothed. Despite his human-looking disguise, he still had red eyes and sharp teeth.
"Zira. It's been too long. Forgive me for intruding, but I am injured. It is beyond my healing abilities… Would you assist?"
The Demon said, clearly upset he had to ask for assistance.
"May I ask, why did you not merely use your staff?" the angel was genuinely curious. Alastor's staff contained power he had began putting in it from as long ago as 1919, when Crowley and Aziraphale had first made his acquaintance. It could heal most things.
The deer demon looked genuinely pained.
" It is a very long story, I will be delighted to tell you everything later, but for now, let's just say it broke. I don't suppose you and Crowley could do something about that?"
Aziraphale was shocked but obviously consented.
"But of course! Do sit, my deer, I shall just go and fetch Crowley. Tea?"
Alastor dragged a chair over with a flick of shadow.
"Thank you Angel, that would be most kind. Lemon, no sugar."
Crowley hissed unhappily, curling up further in hope the voice would go away. He was coiled in snake form on his and Zira's bed, trying to sleep. Unfortunately, his angel called again.
"Crowley? Crowley? We have a guest!"
Grumpily, he rolled out of bed and turned back to his usual human form. Flinging on a black dressing-gown, he manifested a large cafetiere of coffee, Heaven and Hell had stopped regulating their miracles after they had performed a 40 lasaroti miracle without even trying, obviously there had been no archangel to blame it on that time. Sauntering downstairs, he groaned grumpily.
"Nnnggg… Who iss it Angel? I wass sssleep- Alassstor?"
The demon in question smiled.
"Crowley. How are you, my darling serpent?"
Crowley smiled his own fanged smile, instantly changing his dressing-gown to his usual black clothes.
"Well, well, well.. What brings you here, Deer? It's not even been a year since your last visit."
Even as he said this, he smelled demon blood . Surely Alastor was not hurt?
"As you can no doubt smell, I am wounded. My staff has been broken and I require… Help"
The Radio demon was obviously upset about requiring help.
He shared a look with Zira before coming to silent agreement.
"Just a quick miracle." His angel said.
"And then you tell us everything." he added.
"Deal?" both asked simultaneously.
Their Deer rolled his eyes but nodded.
Aziraphale turned to Crowley and held his hands. Both concentrated until there was a very small flash.
Looking over, it now was obvious that their friend was healed. He sat straighter and his staff was now whole, the only change to it's appearance was the newly carved serpent twined around a flaming sword near the top of the wood. If one looked closely, they would see the snake was wearing sunglasses and the sword had a small logo of a book etched into it.
"Thank you kindly." He purred. For a second his voice seemed to go static. "Now, you wanted the story? Let's see.. It started when Lucifer's daughter Charlie decided to redeem sinners…."
____________________________________
New part now up! 1919 ⏪ (press that)
#fanfic#Hazbin×Good Omens#Alastor#Aziraphale#Crowley#Aziracrow#alastor hazbin hotel#the radio demon#good omens#hazbin hotel
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I mean...it's kindddaa twilight themed, right? Black+red=vampires lol Enjoy!
Hopefully everyone finds this interesting and helpful. Also, thank you sooo much for all of the followers, i've been busy lately, but i'll try to post more! I appreciate all of you<3
Why Didn't You Get Closure?
This person was kind of cowardly and equally as sneaky. They may have enjoyed making you question yourself and how they felt about you, it made them feel powerful. They enjoyed the ups and downs caused by the instability of this connection. Freezing you out was a normal thing for them, maybe they blocked you more than once(or vice versa). This person could have moved away physically from you, thus escaping without having to take responsibility for anything(could’ve been a move for a new job overseas). They kind of got what they wanted from you and decided to pick up and leave afterward, without a care in the world. For some, you also didn’t respond how they thought you would, and were like “If they aren’t going to come searching for answers, then they don’t deserve any”, a very petty energy.
What Would They Have Said?
“I’m going to have a new start”
“I was lying to you the entire time”
“You knew deep down”
“False relationship/false start”
“I’m not who you think I am”
“This is best for us both”
I see that they would have been blunt, telling you about everything they’ve ever done wrong since knowing them. Some of those things would really shock you because you’d never suspect them. They would point out that you both upheld this unstable relationship knowing that it was bad for both parties. They would then say how this would be a chance for them to be a better person and heal their toxic ways.
For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward
You’re moving onto bigger and better things. Don’t let a toxic person cause you to be so guarded. It’s okay to be cautious, just make sure you don’t self sabotage when it comes to new things and people. This cycle of heartbreak and betrayal is approaching an end for you. If you were asking about a past romantic partner, you will be meeting a new love interest sometime moving forward. They will be good for you, and your heart. It’s destined. One broken heart isn’t the end, I promise.
Why Didn’t You Get Closure?
This person felt like it was already done, as if you had that final conversation about wanting to cut ties. They were so wrapped up in how they saw the situation that they didn't stop to ask about how you felt. There’s an unintentionally selfish energy here from this person. If this was a romantic relationship, they felt like you had already learned all you needed to learn from being with each other and that it was time to move on. They knew that if you guys had that last conversation that they would be in their feelings again, wanting to keep trying to be together. For some, there may have been some external circumstances that created a situation where you couldn’t be together, because they didn’t necessarily want the relationship to end, but they felt like it had to.
What Would They Have Said?
“I’ve loved/liked you for a long time”
“Too much history”
“I admire you”
“This hurts/this sucks”
“We have no control over this”
They would definitely cry. They have a genuinely remorseful energy when it comes to this. Helpless.
For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward
If you need to cry, cry. Emotions are meant to be felt, not suppressed. You don’t have to lose your mind and go insane, but it is perfectly healthy to express how you feel if that’s what you want to do. Allowing yourself is your first step to having closure in any situation, it’s something you can do for yourself. Eventually your tears will run dry and you’ll feel a smile coming in replacement. Focus on school/work and give it time!
Why Didn’t You Get Closure?
They wanted to protect themselves. This is a person that has a history of being betrayed by people, so they left before you had the chance to…This was definitely self sabotage on their part. They felt themselves liking you a bit too much and panicked. It’s kind of like they are not at all aware that what they did would affect you in any kind of way because they’re too busy being paranoid. Instead of waiting it out, they jumped the gun and came to their own conclusion.
What Would They Have Said?
“I moved/reacted too fast”
“In my head”
“I was impulsive, I’m sorry”
“You’re everything I want”
They would definitely take it back and try to undo their mistake. They’d be kind of embarrassed like “Damn, wtf was I thinking”. They wouldn’t see it as a big deal and would want to continue where you left off.
For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward
For those who are asking about a recent situation, this has yet to happen and will sometime moving forward. If they do come back, it is entirely your decision to take them back into your life. Listen to your heart and do what’s best for you. Make sure you get the complete truth out of them before making the decision.
Why Didn’t You Get closure?
They’re immature/young and don’t know how to handle situations. They took on too much, and weren't ready for what they were getting into. Doesn’t matter if it was a platonic, familial, or romantic situation; they couldn’t handle your connection and work/school at the same time. For others, they committed and then realized that wasn’t what they really wanted so they backtracked.They definitely felt like you were holding them back in the financial department.
What Would They Have Said?
“I didn’t know”
“I got distracted”
“I was scared”
“Conflicted”
They would’ve been short with you. They genuinely don’t know what they want, it’s so hard for me to interpret the cards…I keep getting distracted. Maybe they would talk in circles and what they say may not be enough in your opinion.
For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward
Let the hurt go, if you have any. You have such a prosperous future ahead of you. You need to take this experience as a lesson and learn from it, but do not hold a grudge when it comes to this. Release it, and financial abundance will make its way towards you. I also see a family(partner, kids) if you want one.
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10 months on low dose Androgel timeline
I think the last one I did of these was at 7 months, oops. I started on 1 pump of 1% androgel, which has 12.5 mg of testosterone in each pump. Since December, I have been on 2 pumps a day. I have yet to have any blood work done, so i don’t know my levels.
This is a timeline of the most recent, biggest changes. I have other posts about my earlier timeline in my Testosterone gel tag.
The *biggest* change these past few months have been my voice. It’s changed drastically from February to now, but I think it’s actually sort of levelled out recently. It was hard to speak loudly for a most of February and March, because my voice would try to go higher but I just didn’t have that range anymore, so it would crack or just, make no sound at all. I think, for the most part, that is over. I think this was just one voice drop and im sure more will come (I still sound androgynous too, but that could be because of speaking mannerisms rather than voice) but I’ve learned how to talk with my lower voice now, and can speak loudly without the problems i used to have.
i went from my lowest, median, and highest of my voice being 176hz, 215hz, and 255hz respectively, to 96hz lowest, 137hz median, and 179hz highest, but those numbers do fluctuate a bit depending on day which is normal. It’s strange to see what used to be the lowest my voice went when talking is now the highest it goes. It’s been really great.
I will say, that I am now at the point where i cannot play it off like im sick or anything when people ask about my voice. I have been specifically asked if i’m on testosterone, and people I haven’t seen in a while are shocked at my voice now. If you are someone thinking about low dose T to hide changes for as ling as you can from unsupportive people, I only got 10 months, and many people get less. you cannot guarentee when you will get what changed.
on to things besides voice.
My arm and hand veins are,, extremely prominent when I get warm. It’s really interesting, gives me huge euphoria, but is also really weird to look at.
My period hasn’t stopped yet, still gotten a lot lighter though which has been great.
My face has definitely changed, but in a way where it’s hard to tell what exactly has changed. i just know i look different. I just can’t really place how. My eyebrows are thicker, my skin looks different, but there’s something bigger that is just hard to see.
I still don’t really pass in public, long hair androgynous voice and no binder will do that, but i’m really liking how everything is going so far. Genuinely I think going on T has just cured my depression??????? I’m only normal sad like once a month, not thinking about offing myself once a day. I didn’t think testosterone would change so much about how I feel, but it’s made me feel so much more calm and rational. I have a good grasp on my emotions, and they don’t consume me anymore. I’m able to think past them and make good decisions without letting my depression or anxiety or anger rule out my rational brain. That won’t be the experience for everyone, but it is mine. and it has been great.
Also maybe expect a trans tape review soon idk, I’m getting some because my binder fits me on paper, but irritates my arms sooo much that it’s hard to wear.
Feel free to ask any questions, I’d be happy to answer
#trans#transgender#ftm#transmasc#testosterone#testosterone gel#androgel#testosterone timeline#low dose testosterone#trans man#t gel#dan talks#i think thats all the tags i need here
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Hi, I'm the anon who asked for the audio you posted today. I'm coming off anon because anon feels too impersonal for me to thank you for something you put so much time, energy, and care into for me.
You creating this piece is seriously one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me. I cried listening to it the first time because it's just... It's exactly what I've wanted and needed for the last two years since I learned I had an ED and started recovery. I will spare you my entire life story (if you want it for some reason, feel free to DM me), but suffice it to say, what you created from my prompt/request is so perfect and I'm still sitting here in disbelief and awe that what you said and how you said it showed more understanding of what I've been going through and what's been making recovery so hard for me than even some of the professionals I've tried to see for help. I know some people will listen to this and get off to it, and that's perfectly fine, but I just want to make sure you know that for me, this is something I'll be able to pop in earbuds and listen to when I'm having a hard time and feel like I don't deserve food or that I'm morally obligated to spend the rest of my life trying hopelessly to make myself smaller.
I genuinely don't know how to express how grateful I am to you. Thank you so much for being here, for making this, for being so kind and intelligent, and for making me feel like I deserve to get better.
One last thing: you mentioned in response to my ask about this that you've struggled with these things yourself before. I just want to say that my heart goes out to you and that you deserve to feel good in your body however it happens to be, too. I would be happy to be a listening ear if you ever need someone to talk to about it, and otherwise, please do your best to take care of yourself and acknowledge your own needs the same way you have for other people, like you did for me. Thank you again. 🫂
😭😭😭😭😭
now you're gonna make me cry.
I'm so glad and relieved it turned out to be what you wanted. I was anxious to get it right, and I did put a lot of time and care into it, because you deserve that. I think you're a good human. I don't want less of you in the world.
it means the world to me that this will be something you can listen to when you're having a hard time. and, oh gosh, for you to say it showed a real understanding of what you've been going through and what's been making recovery so hard 🥺 I can't think of a better compliment.
I consider this peer support. I've…well, I've never sought professional help and I haven't (until recently, maybe?) felt justified in claiming I had an ED…but I dug out some old journals not too long ago and was shocked and upset to read how I used to think/feel about my body, and other people's bodies, and food. it was gnarly.
I am okay now. in fact, I have a close friend who is currently in therapy getting support for an ED, and they asked me a few weeks ago if I would be all right talking with them about it. because we went to high school together, they saw how I struggled and also how I got through it, and they said that my current relationship with food is aspirational for them. they have other supportive people in their life, but they wanted to talk to someone who gets it. and I get it.
however I characterize or label my experience, the fact is, I was sick. I am okay now, but it's not something that just goes away. it is part of my history forever. I still have bad days. I am incredibly grateful for all the times I have showed up here and found my sadposts met with incredible kindness and generosity and folks gently encouraging me to have a snack and drink some water.
that's peer support! and it's invaluable.
all this to say, just…thank you for letting me do this for you. I'm really glad you asked. and I appreciate your kind words—I am taking care of myself, and I am taken care of.
gosh, we're long winded, okay well HIGH FIVE, HUGS, TAKE CARE come back anytime :)
#ahh you came off anon for this!!#I feel so lucky to get to support folks this way#asks and answers#these messages are my pride and joy
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😭😔
Hi Milk! Thanks for the ask! Sorry for getting to this late. I also apologize for not having more tmbs content yet (I'll get there. Eventually). But since you asked me about Duck Boy (Daniel Jacobi), I thought I'd give you an update and some stuff that involves him specifically.
😭 angst or sad WIP snippet
Here's a snippet of Duck Boy talking about his best friend's death that I plan to publish soon:
"[...] She should be the one who’s here, but she’s not. I am. And it’s unfair, because I…I’m not like her. I can’t make up for all the bad stuff I did, because there was never anything good about what I did. I was the guy that blew stuff up. I destroyed things, and…people. Relationships. You can’t get any good out of that. [...]"
😔published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?
Now here is the official Duck Boy update. (DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS). As you may recall from my last post, Duck Boy really screwed things up and refused to see the light. However, he does eventually come to the light in about the most chaotic way you possibly could (my reaction here for the wolf359 fans). To make a long story short, imagine the Curtain and Garrison divorce drama but 1000x worse than that. That's what happens with Jacobi and his boss, Kepler (aka Whiskey Boy). You see, he decides that since the opposing crew killed Alana Maxwell, his best friend, and Kepler put her in danger, it's only reasonable to threaten to blow up the entire ship and everyone on it (including himself) unless Minkowski (the person who shot Maxwell) agrees to shoot Kepler in the head. Kepler is completely shocked by this (I believe his exact words were "how could he? After all we've been through...") which...I don't even have time to detail how much of a loser Kepler is and how horribly he treated Jacobi, (especially by his behavior at his best friend's funeral) but he makes Duck Boy look like a saint. His surprise at this betrayal is completely unwarranted and entirely unjustified. Anyway, they get divorced and Jacobi eventually decides against killing everyone, forgives Minkowski and himself for the role he played in people's deaths, including Alana's, and finally starts acting like a good guy. But then the real bad guys show up, and a bunch of stuff happens but basically, Kepler has a sudden breakthrough, realizes he's been a complete fool, and realizes the only way he can protect Jacobi, Minkowski, and the rest of the crew and humanity is by pretending to be a bad guy who betrayed all of them, and then surprising the bad guys and sacrificing himself without telling anyone about it. Jacobi never finds out what he did (he begged Kepler to join him, but Kepler refused to make his performance believable and though Jacobi does go back to try to find Kepler in the aftermath, he can't and realizes he probably died).
Now, for my fic, I include a scene of Jacobi discovering the truth about how Kepler died and what he did for them. This also plays off a quote from the podcast where Kepler tells the crew that none of them really know him because the real Warren Kepler "died" in order to have this job. Here is a snippet from that. I was a little weird to write this because of how much time I spent not liking these two characters, but redemption arcs always make me happy when they're genuine, so here we go:
Once they had left, Jacobi sighed and looked up at the screen. He stared at it for a long while, not really moving or saying anything, letting what he’d just seen wash over him.
He’d known it was more than likely that Kepler was dead. He’d known when he’d searched and been unable to find him. No one else reported any sighting of him, so how he died was a mystery that Jacobi thought might be better left unanswered given the last exchanged he’d had with his former boss.
But at least he had the truth now.
Jacobi continued to sit in silence, letting the emotions roll over him. Though it was hard to tell exactly what emotion he felt in the moment. Kepler’s death didn’t exactly cause him grief (particularly because Jacobi remembered very well that way Kepler had acted at Alana’s funeral not to mention everything else he’d done), but it certainly didn’t make Jacobi feel particularly joyful. The man on the tape, whoever he was, the real Warren Kepler, the one who hadn’t destroyed himself giving everything to his job, the man who could make jokes as he waited to be thrown out of an airlock because he knew he’d saved what mattered… Jacobi would have liked to have known that man. Maybe he’d seen glimpses of him from time to time, but that wasn’t the same as knowing him.
And here's the full fic for those interested. Still updating it, but its almost done!
#Bods Answers#WIP#wolf359#wolf 359#Duck boy#Daniel Jacobi#Warren Kepler#Alana Maxwell#SI-5#si5#w359#w359 spoilers#Wolf359 Spoilers
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Hi again Niu, it's the wee baby beginner tarot reader anon. I wanted to pop in to tell you I saw your thank you post, so your message definitely reached me :3
I'm so happy to hear that the reading was helpful! That was actually the first reading I've ever done for someone else. I saw your original post asking for a reading, I happened to have some free time and my deck was right there, so I thought maybe I could at least try and see what came out. I wasn't expecting much since I haven't been reading very long and I still feel like I'm a newbie a lot of the time, (I'm actually the same anon who asked you about alternate interpretations for the 5 of wands back in July when it kept coming out in readings I was doing for myself,) but I figured I should try because it would at least be good practice doing a reading on a different subject than I usually read about for myself.
I certainly wasn't expecting to hear that it was so accurate! That genuinely shocked me in the best way. I had a huge smile on my face all yesterday afternoon after I saw your post. I've mostly just been doing card a day draws every day for myself to learn the energy of each card across the different decks I have, and bigger spreads when I have a bit more time. But its been hard to objectively tell if I'm getting better at reading the cards when my only feedback so far has been going back through my tarot journal to check how accurate the readings I did for myself weeks or months ago turned out to be.
I have a history of struggling really hard with learning new skills and not getting any better at them even when I'm practising and practising consistently for long periods of time. I assumed it'd be the same with learning tarot and so I haven't had enough confidence as a reader to even offer to do readings for anyone I know irl. But something about your post made me really want to try and help if I could.
So I think Spirit was being a bit cheeky with the both of us and tossing us at each other when we both needed it. Because your message made me so happy and gave me the confirmation I didn't know that I needed that tarot is something I should keep going with and that I am actually getting better at it as I practice and maybe I shouldn't second-guess myself so much.
(Also, I wish you all the luck with your future spouse if that was him showing up as the chariot driver. That is such a cool bit of feedback to find out about that I really feel like I was picking up on without knowing specifically what it was!)
I am SO HAPPY to read this message of yours, and love that you've kept me updated like this about your tarot (and divination) journey <3
The Spirit definitely was a bit cheeky, but the Universe does have a great sense of humor :D
I'm super glad to also see that based on my last tip - see what's the image on the card and how is it - was so helpful to you that you were able to interpret the reading you did to me by underlining what you saw on the cards, and what they meant to you regarding my situation. And you caught up with that skill so quick!
Give yourself A BIG HUG! I will send you a spiritual hug; may it appear to you as a form of a sudden gift or good luck :3
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I don’t keep up with new music nearly as much as I used to. Not even discovering new artists or anything, but even new stuff put out by people I already like, it passes me by more than it used to. Late in 2023, I was shocked to learn two of my absolute favourite musicians had put out new albums in 2022 and I didn’t even notice. For most of my life I’ve found out about new music – both new artists and new albums – via folk festivals and country music blogs. Which is why so much of my music collection is Canadian folk music and American (plus some Canadian) country music.
But I haven’t been to a folk festival since pre-COVID – last year I finally started going to see live music again sometimes, this week I’ll be going to my sixth music gig since last August, which is less than I used to but significantly more than I did from 2020-2023, and it’s been really good. I let myself forget, in the depths of the pandemic, how big a part of my life live music was. I took it for granted most of my life, just going to folk festivals with my dad because that’s what happens every summer. And while I’ve been back to concerts, I haven’t been back to festivals, so I haven’t learned about anything new. And I don’t read country music blogs anymore because I’m too busy reading comedy forums.
So aside from blogs and festivals, how am I supposed to know if even my very favourite musicians put out new stuff? I also don’t do Twitter or anything. And of course I don’t do Spotify. I didn’t really know how Spotify worked until recently, I was just vaguely aware that it’s some demon ruining the music industry so I never looked into it. And I am still not going to look into it! Don’t worry everyone, I still have my principles, I am still horrified by the fact that my brother owns no music files and thinks it’s fine to just rent access to music that he only gets to keep hearing as long as he keeps paying and he has internet access and a corporation chooses to keep it on their platform.
However, my friend whom I moved in with in December uses Spotify, and when I hang out with him in the living room, we listen to music via the TV that’s connected to his computer, and I have to admit it’s convenient. Especially when I started typing in my favourite artists and learned that some of them have entire albums I hadn’t even known about. And, even though I’m pretty sure algorithms are a terrible thing to introduce to art, I have found a few new people I like from that.
I haven’t entirely sold out, though, because I did not sign up for Spotify (I would genuinely never do that, I will draw the line at occasionally benefitting from my roommate using it), I went and bought the albums on Bandcamp. Quick reminder of a thing that I never miss an opportunity to remind people, Bandcamp is the way to buy music where the highest percentage of the profits go to the artist (aside from just handing them money for a CD at a gig, I guess), also it’s the most convenient way to get it for the consumer (one easily downloadable folder with every song on the album as DRM-free mp3s).
I also recently raided the CD collection in my dad’s basement, because there was a bunch of stuff I knew he had and I knew I liked but was somehow not in the music collection on my hard drive. So as a result of that, I have a bunch of new music, and I’ve been greatly enjoying it.
Okay, here’s the actual point of this post, after all that pre-amble: Cody Jinks put out an album one month ago, thanks to the evils of corporatized technology I became aware of it when it was only a month old, I’ve been listening to it non-stop for several days, it’s fucking fantastic. It might be my favourite Cody Jinks album, though I’m aware that recency bias in in play. And I like Cody Jinks’ previous stuff a lot.
I should actually say that this might be my favourite Cody Jinks studio album, because he has a live album called Red Rocks Live and nothing's better than that. It's a solid cross-section of his earlier work so a good introduction, if anyone's interested in getting to know him. Which you should be, if you like his sort of thing. His sort of thing is modern American outlaw country music by a guy who used to be in a metal band. All the best country singers used to be in metal bands (him and Corb Lund).
This live version of his song Head Case is as good as country music gets. Good thing to play for anyone who spouts that claim that country music was only good back in the 70s (it was good back in the 70s, but probably wasn't good back then either if the only thing you listened to was pop music on the radio that incorrectly markets itself as country). My horrible abusive high school coach used to nickname me and any other athletes who struggled mentally/psychologically "head case", and now I play this song whenever I get sad about that, which definitely isn't that often or anything because I'm fine and not still trying to win every argument I had when I was 17. Definitely not.
youtube
Anyway, his new album is called Change the Game, and I can't stop listening to it.
It covers the usual themes - sad, angry, drinks too much, would like to stop drinking so much (going a little harder on that last point than some of his previous albums, or maybe I'm just predisposed to notice that these days), and of course the designed outlaw country anthem, in this case it's the title track and it's great. I keep finding new stuff in it.
I often find that my favourite songs on an album change from what they are when I first hear it, but at the moment, the one I've had on repeat the most is:
youtube
And then I listen to the level of guitar going on in this one that's ages ahead of some of the older stuff:
youtube
But I think once the initial excitement of the new album wears off, this song is going to end up as my favourite:
youtube
I was on the bus to work yesterday when I first put this one on and had to change the track, because the bus is not an appropriate setting for being as emotionally moved as I was by a lyric like "Don't waste your days on dreams that don't fill you/Find out what you love, and let it kill you".
Anyway, I might need to start subscribing to some musician mailing lists or something. Because I'm not signing up for Spotify or Twitter but it is nice to actually find out about this stuff.
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Hi! I went through the libaw tag while I was bored and???? It's so good??????
I am in love with Gabriel now. New blorbo acquired. All your snippets are great. And also all your chapter titles are fire.
Idk where you're at with the querying but best of luck on that. I wanna see this published so I can devour it.
Just wanted to say how much I love what I've seen of this story. You're doing great, bestie 👍
(Also, do you have a taglist?)
🥺 You just made my day! This was such a sweet message to receive. I'm glad you enjoy the snippets and titles (my titles are definitely a point of pride for me, haha), and that you find the story intriguing. That's the goal! It's not really the kind of story that tends to get much attention in these spaces, tbh, so I'm pleasantly surprised with the warm response some of my recent snippets have received.
Gabriel would most likely be shocked that someone considers him blorbo-worthy, but I'm sure he would appreciate your affections! I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with him myself, but he's definitely one of my more compelling characters and I'm proud of the way he turned out. As a character, anyway. As a person is more complex, lol. Either way, definitely poured years of blood, sweat, tears and research into that guy, and I suppose if I was trying to produce upstanding fictional specimens of humanity I'd probably be writing something other than crime thrillers.
More under the cut because this got suuuper long (💀):
RE: querying - I've been "getting ready to query" for like a year at this point, lol, but that's mostly because the edits after my last beta cycle became QUITE a bit more extensive than anticipated. It's definitely for the better, though. I'm very, very happy with the way it's turning out. Not only am I successfully addressing a lot of my own nagging issues and recurrent beta reader comments, but the structural edits are also allowing me to trim the word count quite a bit (which... the word count has been a MAJOR hurdle in my journey with this project, because of tradpub word count limits in my genre versus the complexity of the story). I'm about 70% done with edits at this point. There will be things actively happening on the querying front in the near future - I will update on that asap.
Re: taglist - I don't currently have any taglists because I worry about my ability to be consistent with maintaining them. You're not the first person to ask about a taglist for libaw specifically, though, so I might try to see if doing one just for that project is feasible. Stay tuned.
Side note, I saw your tags on my post from last year about libaw's history and while they are very (!!!) sweet I feel I must clarify: I started the project in 2008 (when I was 17, for reference), but I haven't been working on it actively throughout that entire span of time - there was a long period between late 2013 and early 2022 where I did very little writing/work on creative projects in general, so it was shelved for most of that. It took me 2.5 years to draft (2008-2011) - at the time it was two novels totalling ~400K words - and then I spent most of 2012 and 2013 doing large-scale revisions, which included a full rewrite/merging of the novels in 2013. Then I took it back up again for good in early 2022 (two years ago today, coincidentally). So that's definitely still a very long time to work on one novel, but not as long as the entire span of years since I started it.
I've always said this is the book of my heart, and I won't try to release it until I'm happy with it and know I've given it my best shot. I've never regretted that for a second, but it's taken a long time to get there, for both personal and skill-related reasons (namely, there's a social commentary element to the story that's taken me a lot of effort, research, and development as a writer to get right - it's ongoing, but I'm getting close based on recent feedback). To be close to reaching the point where I can genuinely feel "my" (independent, prior to pub-related edits) work is done after well over a decade is very cool for sure.
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Having absolutely no concept of time and a horrific memory is so strange—just saw that someone's post I saw when it was new is 5 days old now. I am both shocked that it was five whole days ago (How? What happened to the time? How long ago? What did I do during that time span? I can't remember? I was on vacation right? Where was I? Wait I'm not even at my house right now or my state? What day is it?) and also that it was ONLY five days ago (Huh? The fog of my memory in between feels so vast I can't cross it. That's so many hours. That's so long to work through. That's five less days of life. I thought it was yesterday.)
Genuinely time blindness is terrifying. My memory ain't an ocean it's a thick sludge at this point. I can't look at pictures of my younger self for too long lol (What? How long ago? I was 11 when this happened but I thought it was a year ago. Or I thought something happened when I was 11 but it happened last month. They feel the same in my mind. Why is my hair this long? Didn't I just have it cut? But that was 8 months ago, it's grown. Since when was I this height? Right, I have been roughly the same for years. But my mind's stuck on the measurements it took in middle school. Genuinely again I wouldn't be aware the days of the week were real if Webtoon didn't keep me grounded.)
Anyways Idk if this is a strange mix of ADHD bad memory and time blindness, me being Odd, a mixture of those, or something else but let's see if the echo chamber relates.
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u gotta understand hs is one of those staple problematic™ medias and peoples shock at others still into it is largely that. cuz theres so much blatantly obvious shit wrong with hs it is kind of astounding seeing new or current fans. a couple steps removed from being as embarrassing as being a south park fandom mfer
I think I get what you’re saying?? I’ve been into homestuck since 2012. I know it’s a staple problematic media. I raise you: what media ISN’T problematic. DREAMSMP is everywhere at cons rn.
Homestuck is egregious given that a lot of it is “dark humor” “edge lord” “shock value bait” but it’s goofy to me to react like it’s the worst thing that’s ever graced the internet.
also no need to tell the homestuck fan it’s embarrassing to like homestuck I ASSURE YOU I KNOW.
I don’t buy that ppl are genuinely shocked being scandalized by my enjoyment of a thing.
making the same old jokes, that are actually their only way to “be in” on the fact that we both enjoyed homestuck at some point. by saying “IN 2023????” or “OMG IS THAT KARKLES?? AT MOMO CON?” “YOU STILL LIKE HOMESTUCK?????” They’re giving me the short end of the stick. Like we both know what it is and recognize it. Clearly they wanna draw my attention to the fact that they *know* why make the same dead joke about it?
There are some ppl who are happy to see homestuck cosplay and I am SO grateful to them and every time they ask for a photo I happily pause and take it— but I can’t help but feel like a spectacle as the ONE person asks for a photo, says nothing else, and walks away giggling.
also I wrote the post this ask is referring to roughly a month ago but I queued it so it only posted like last week and tbh I couldn’t even remember what I complained about… but if u care about that part
my OG post touched on this but what I was really talking about was that I was in a server for something else and there was a homestuck channel and I was excited to talk about the comic and things I enjoy and instead every day it was the same two people talking about what pissed them off or disappointed them with the games or the epilogues or hs^2 and their various productions and how much they wanted to play the new video games but weren’t sure they would ever be able to and the one time I was like “this is interesting” I got sent a VERY long blog post and the person wouldn’t engage with me any further than that. It felt very….. dismissive? Of me as an “actual fan” and when I would try and answer I’d ultimately get drowned out by them “knowing better” about these particular niches
After a while (probably two weeks) it started to feel like a vortex of negativity. Every time I opened the channel there were dozens of messages I couldn’t engage with. I thought I would be ousted as a fake fan if I talked about Davekat bc there’s almost a separate fandom dedicated to those two alone and I felt like enjoyment of any kind would be frowned upon so I ultimately left
#homestuck#im not mad btw I just type like this#I don’t know what the goal of this ask was either???#lemme know if u have any idea l#vent
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Heya! I'm curious to hear your opinion on the last episode in general, I don't think you've said much from what I've seen. Mainly on Collie and stuff, and especially what you think about them going away in the end there. Are you perhaps planning to write a post on that or anything? I just like your takes on things so I'm curious
... can I say something? It makes me stupidly emotional in a positive way that so many people have been showing interest in my opinions and thoughts about toh and collector. I knew my posts on them had gotten somewhat popular, but it genuinely surprises seeing how many people seem to think of me and want to hear what I have to say! You guys are too incredibly sweet and I just want to thank you!
This got... pretty long since I assumed you wanted an overall rundown of my thoughts on the episode not just focused on colly so uhhh... tagging it as long post.
As for my general thoughts on the episode... they are... uhhh A LOT of ohhhhh that's so cool ohhh that's so awesome... it was genuinely just a very fun high spirits episode for me, I was surprised seeing how easily colly was swayed and how willing he was to try and be friends... he is truly a very kind being! How strong raine was to push belos out and keep going, their ingenuity as well with all their movements!! They're so cool... the way they confirmed my suspicion that Collector really loves titans and knows a lot about their anatomy and culture!
I REALLY didn't think they were gonna do the Luz death fake out, that shocked me a lot since we already had a fake out with hunter, but now I'm starting to think they maybe did that to be a direct parallel to flapjack, as that one also featured the glowing lights rising. But then we met King's mom who is a total furbait for me so like!!! It's fine!!! Helloooo sexyyyyy!!!!!!! I love that they're genderfluid that got me so happy I love that he explains it by calling back to King's line about being queen and king that was already so damn transgender!!! I can't believe King is bigender just like her dad!!!
They have such good vibes anyway so it was really nice seeing them. Ngl I was kind of against seeing the titan again bc it was made such a point he was gone and we should mourn them, but she did kinda... die right after anyway so it's fine, and also again she is so cool it's kind of hard to not want him to have shown up. I love hiiiim. And then for that matter. Their conversation was so sweet and I love how it puts emphasis on two core themes of the series: the leftist sentiment of it being severely more important to fight to protect others genuinely from oppression and violence than to be respectable at those in power, and that Luz was never meant to be a chosen one, but she was a good kind person who deserved through her being there to be trusted. And is it not often just a matter of someone who is good choosing to do good when it counts?
I was a little sad that colly didn't get to do much fighting alongside the cast, but then again so didn't... most of the hexsquad! And his role was so important too, protecting everyone inside the Archives!! He is so very strong and i am so proud of him. Luzs titan form was so epic and her fight scene along with eda and King and eventually also raine was so cool!!!! And so was the scene with her just standing over belos... fuck yeah
I do not know if many more people noticed!! But the symbols around the titan as his spirit left luzs body were alchemical sun/gold symbols!! See!!! It's a titan symbol!! Also for that matter, the symbol on luzs chest on her titan design is the sun connected to the earth im pretty sure!! And i do love that King's dad said i love you with a bread pun but it is funny he almost... forgot to send any message lmao. It's okay though I'm sure she just wasn't prepared ♡
Ah and then the ending!! Was cute!! Personally I find the ending and epilogue pretty okay, I don't think it'll satisfy everyone of course, but I liked it well enough, everyone's endings felt nice. I HAVE actually spoken extensively (although more casually) about how I feel on Colly's fate, you can find that on my commander's answers tag as I responded to an anon on it, and I DO have a post about it planned but it will take... quite a long while to make, currently I am still laying down bullet points and I'm only to the second part of it and there are already four pages... uhm. Yeah. That and I'm starting to realize that it might make half the fandom want to crush me in a metal compactor. So thats fun. But well! I am committed to information above all!
Thank you again for the ask and for thinking of me!
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