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#with all the physical scars to show for it

makuzume · 3 days

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Toge Accidentally Uses His Cursed Speech on You [SMAU + Story]

🔅Content: angst, injury, s2 spoilers, gn! reader, implied relationship, mentions of death (civilians), slight cursing, Shibuya trauma

🔅Synopsis: After the events of the Shibuya Incident, you haven't heard from Toge ever since. You decided to go to him but the both of you get into an arguement and out of frustration... he spoke.

🔅a/n: This is essentially a "PART 2." Read [Texting Them During the Shibuya Incident] for better context and setting the mood

🔅Toge Inumaki🔅

🔅Word Count: 3.3K words

....

You jumped off of the stone wall, trying to gently land over some of bushes, trying your best to absorb most the shock onto your healed leg. However, the pouring rain caused the soil beneathe you to turn into wet mud, causing you to lose your balance and immediately slip upon landing.

You slightly winced, hurt as your whole body fell further into the ground, failing to protect your broken leg from receiving zero pain.

'I deserved that' you thought to yourself. Afterall, there was no one else to blame this accident on other than you.

You came here on your own accord, jumping over a wall no one told you to, who else would have been responsible? 'Maybe Toge, if only he had sent just one text message explaining himself', you thought to yourself in your defense. But still, you honestly can't bring yourself to blame him, afterall, you figured he's been going through so much right now.

From the window, Toge saw your failed attempt at a perfect landing, and without a second thought, he quickly stood up and put on his robe, immediately hurrying to tie the knot closed, rushing to get to you.

Instinctively, he went to reach for both strings of the robe, but it was only when he couldn't feel the soft, towel-like strips of one of fabrics did a sudden realization hit him:

His arm. He only had one arm now.

It was another instance for him to be reminded that he had lost a part of his body: a horrible mark of the events in Shibuya, a memory of all the lives he wasn't able to save, a reminder of all the friends he had failed to protect....

A sickening darkness grew at the pit of his stomach once more as he recalled all those horrible memories.... it was the same awful feeling he'd been experiencing these past few days while he was all alone, trapped in his room, and never even having a second's worth of peace.

Shaking his head, he pushed away those thoughts for the time being and just let the robe loosly hang over him, his only arm going inside one of the sleeves.

Toge was still not used to how to maneauver his body right now, so much so that he still has to even remind himself from time to time about the new state of his physical appearance.

He hurried out of his room and into the garden, little splashes from the puddles staining his legs on the way. When he reached you, you open your eyes, taking your attention off of the pain you felt in your leg to find Toge hovering over you.

Surprised you were when you first laid eyes on him. He was wearing his robe open to you, allowing it to show all the dark bruises, scars, and thick bandages covering his bare upper torso. It was a painful sight to see.

Other than the appearance of his physical condition, he looked awful, emotionally. The bags under his eyes becoming evidence for his lack of sleep while his pupils showed a loss of light in them. His expression was exhausted, and his aura was different- not like the usual playful and relaxed Toge you once knew.

Seeing him as he stood in front of you now.... it felt like he was a different person, and you were taken aback for a moment because of it.

"...Mustard leaf?" His voice was dry and his tone low- more empty of life.... but he still somehow manage to speak with just a bit of genuine concern as his eyebrows expressed slight hints of sadness and worry.

His form slowly crouched down, mildly struggling to bend downward himself from all the injuries he had on his side.

Using his only arm and his body as a support for you, he helped you stand up. You were able to feel him struggle slightly, Toge's body slightly more unsteady and frail as the both of you walked- His breath quietly quivering with each step, and he would take a sharp inhale of air every time you leaned just a little too much on him as he helped carry you over to the nearest gazeebo.

You felt bad for making him lift you... for making him drenched along with you.

Regardless, even if you refused, no way would Toge leave you alone in the rain, all sad and pitiful.

Despite the fact that he had been ignoring you for days, his actions now had served as a reminder that he did in fact still cared about you, you took note.

Yes, there had been a bit of akward tension with the current situation the both of you were in, but he would never even dare of becoming so uncaring and hurt your feelings to do anything like that

...right?

Toge was trying to carefully set your body down on one of the benches, mildly challenged as he did so while keeping his gaze low.

Perhaps he was embarassed that he's not used to maneuvering around with a missing arm just yet, or he's embarassed at the fact you came all this way and somehow endded up getting hurt just because he never replied to you.

You felt small stinging sensations underneathe your cast as you were as you gently settle on your seat, slighthly gripping your fist to hold back the pain you felt in your right leg.

You spoke up, a bit embarassed "... sorry... for making you come out like this..." A quiet moment passed before he responded by shaking his head gently, lightly waving off his hand as he gestured a polite 'don't mind it'.

It was silent, only the sounds emitting noise being the rain hitting the soil and the droplets trippling the roof above you.

"Salmon roe." Softly, he spoke, and you slowly drove your gaze towards him, his eyes looking at you seriously. With slow movements, he gently gestured towards the house, then towards the garage, then at you. Your eyes furrow at the action, understanding what he wanted to comunicate despite lacking the use of words.

"...No, I don't want to be taken back to the school after a shower." You said quietly, a slightly stubborn attitude taking over as you look away in disagreement. But this wasn't a good time to argue. He absolutely wasn't in the mood to bicker and wanted to get away from anything and everything stressful adding to his plate.

He gestured again to the house, then at the garage but a bit more sternly, to which you reply a cold hard refusal.

"...No." in an equally stern attitude, you stated, a slight glimpse of sorrow seeping through your voice as you look down "....I'm not going."

Toge showed hints of frustration, his expression a bit more irritated but also trying his best to retain his composure towards you, but his emotions were beginning to get the best of him once more.

It wasn't like Toge at all: Toge who was always so patient and calm... what exactly changed him since Shibuya? One can't help but wonder what were all the things a person had seen to make him act so different.

"Toge. Look at you. You were already gone for DAYS and not talking to ANYBODY" You gestured towards his body then at his face worriedly "You're thinner and lost the hope you had in your eyes... what happened to you..? What did you see...?" You spoke with worry. "it's scary to think what else you're going through while you coop yourself up in that room by yourself...."

He remained quiet, understanding where you're coming from.

It did make him feel a bit bad, suddenly leaving everyone to find out for themselves what was happening to him. But he figured that everyone was probably having their own mental breakdowns during this time as well, so maybe they need some time to process it too-... or that's what he wanted to believe the case to be.

In truth, he just wanted to rot and drown in his own suffering alone.

You were his best possible source of comfort, and he never even given himself the choice to be consoled by you. In fact, you were the last person he wanted to be with right now.

He didn't deserve your affectionate gazes, your gentle touches, your soft voice, your reassuring words... he knew you would be the gateway to end his suffering... but that's the thing, he refused this comfort willingly, he doesn't want this depressing feleing to end.

Toge let himself sulk in his own misery, torturing himself. All because he believes he deserves it.

"Toge, I know it's just horrible, everything. It's absolute bullshit.. But I hope staying quiet here for days had given you the time you needed to be by yourself.... staying alone in your room any longer might do more damage to you than you think."

You were right, he thought. But it didn't matter to him.

He wanted to drown in suffering, hoping one day he may never wake up from it.

But that would mean escaping his own sins- so he always found himself needing to take back what he said mentally, remembering to endure the twisted thoughts seeping into his mind.

"Toge... I saw their bodies too... some of them, at least... When they took some of them back to the hospital... Our friends..." your voice spoke weakly, almost as if it was about to break as you lightly tremble.

You weren't there, and you felt bad about it. The most you could've done was helping in treating the survivors with your amateur use of Reversed Curse Technique while listening to their horrific experiences.

"... I can't unsee it... though... it made me think about you... I can't ever imagine what it must've been like for you in there." With a shakey breath, you whispered, trying to even comprehend the scenes he must've witness or the weight of responsibility Toge must be pinning on himself.

Suddenly, a wave of flashing images enter Toge's mind as if a slideshow started playing. The memories were accompanied by the same sinking and gut wretching feeling he had during that night, the same feeling he thought he was able to surpress well enough these past few days for it to never re-emerge again.

You lifted your head towards him, a knowing look and spoke with s worried tone. "Toge... whatever happened to the civilians in Shibuya was not your fault."

Your sudden choice of words had taken him aback.

'You heard what happened?' He first thought to himself, but then an immediate tightness was present in his chest and his breath had gotten caught in his throat.

'That's wrong.'

'It was my fault.'

'I led them there.'

'All the civilian's deaths were because I led them there. All of them.'

He didn't want you to know, he prayed you wouldn't find out.

There was so much shame that he felt whenever he would remember that he was the cause for leading so many people to their deaths.

He felt so much shame that he couldn't even dare face you, which was another reason why he's been pushing you away for days on end.

"...I can't imagine what you must've felt, but I know it was horrible." You said, speaking with such a pained and concerned voice.

You understood how this might've made Toge feel, and you knew he would be blaming himself for all the unpredictable deaths of those innocent lives that were caught up in Sukuna's attack... which is why you made the effort to be there for him.

"...n..."

His voice hitched quietly, his mind whispering for you to stop. His breathing got heavier as if the air suddenly thickened; His jaw lightly trembling as he remembered.

Everything else around him becoming mere background noise to him, his awareness to his surroundingsfading. He couldn't think straight.

You noticed his sudden shift in behavior, his previous stoic and serious demeanor disappearing. His body was tensed and his expression stiff, terrified even.

"....s...to..."

It was barely audible, and all you could hear was a low and shakey grunt.

"What...?" Was all you could reply, unable to hear his quiet whispers.

"....n...o."

Once more, he silently whispered.

Concerned, you slowly began reaching for him, ever so gently touching his arm with the tips of your fingers to ease him, to ease his nerves, however, it only did quite the opposite.

At the moment, he only felt your touch, every other one of his senses drowning into nothigness. The moment your hand glazed the skin of his arm, the memories suddenly flooded his mind. The deaths of civillians, the transfigurations, the sorcerers getting killed... It was all too much for him. Too much.

Overwhelmed, he did the unthinkable. Suddenly...

"G..."

He spoke.

"..GET AWAY FROM ME" Toge yelled, quickly retracting his arm away from you by instinct.

With that being said, the curse fulfilled the command.

The next thing you knew, you felt yourself harshly sent flying from one end to the other, across the entire backyard of the clan's abode.

It didn't feel like it was just a gust of wind like you had imagined, no. It felt like suddenly being struck by a train at high speed or hitting the concrete after falling from a building the second the curse was activated.

Toge's eyes widened and immediately snapped towards your direction when he heard the sound of your voice screaming as you were being thrown.

It didn't help that your instincts came at the worst possible time. In a pitiful attempt to lessen the impact of the fall, you allowed your body to make use of its training, instinctively posing the way you were always taught to land while sparring with Maki and the others.

Though you forgot to take into consideration the handicap you had at the moment, and unfortunately for you, your feet would need to be the first to hit the ground with the stance you thought could protect you best.

It was a big mistake- The fall absorbed all the shock which injected itself onto your already broken leg.

You released a scream, but you still couldn't stop the landing just yet. As the force of the throw continued to push you forward, you end up rolling for a few more meters before abruptly hitting the wall on the other side of the garden. Your senses numbed for a moment and your vision blurred; Your mind was disoriented, but your heart was crushed.

It was fucked, your leg, that's what you were sure of. Not even your level of healing could save this one, bitterly you thought as you tried your best to use your reverse cursed technique to at least lessen the pain.

Shock overwhelmed Toge- it would've had him frozen in place but his insticts made him disregard all his negative thoughts and sprint towards you faster than he had the time to even register what had just happened.

Once he reached you, he quickly crouched down, not caring about the pain he felt as he did so, observing your current state, his mind clouded with shame.

He hated himself. Every fiber of his being hated himself for hurting you. He felt disgusted over his cursed speech for ever doing this to someone as kind, understanding, and loving as you.

Everything Toge had ever feared to do... ever since he was young....

He let this happen again... to someone he loved.

For a moment, Toge was a bit relieved to see you still able to move... but the overpowering amount of guilt still filled him to the core.

He wanted to call out your name, but stopped himself for a second as he took the time to think if it was a 'safe word' to say that wouldn't activate his curse again. Afterall, he's already done so much damage of using it just once on you.

"Y-.... y/...n...." anxiously and hoarsly he spoke, his voice low, unsure on how to approach the situation.

With his hand reaching out to you, hesitantly he spoke again "...y/n."

Very slightly, your body gently back away from his reach, a sign he immediately took to back away from you: You didn't want him to get near you. Were you scared of him? Did you hate him? Had he broken your trust?

As your mind began to defog, you sat up slowly, bit by bit regaining more of your vision again. The pain was slowly seeing in more to your broken leg as you gripped the upper part of your cast, grinding your teeth, and silently trembling. Toge could only watch in horror as he takes a few seconds to reflect on his own actions.

You were quiet. Extremely quiet. He hated it. Why aren't you yelling at him? Cursing at him? What were you thinking? How hurt are you? The only sound being the drops of rain hitting the ground as you looked down with a look of disappointment visible in your expression, slowly regaining your composure.

With a heavy sigh to calm your uneven breath, you spoke "... I know you're hurting... I am too... but the last person I thought that could ever hurt me.... was you." You spoke quietly and slowly, your head low and your voice dejected, still gripping on your leg as your breath further turned uneven.

"y/n.... I..." He immediately paused again, stopping himself from even risking the accidental use of his speech again. He hurriedly tried to take his phone, rummaging through his pants as his hand trembled, but before he could even begin typing what he wanted to say to you, you weakly raised your hand, stopping him.

"I shouldn't have pushed you." You looked at him as your eyes had small pools of droplets resting at the lids of your eyes- droplets he knew were not because of the rain. Your caring, gentle, and soft gaze fading, just like how he felt your trust in him starting to disipitate

You made a few attempts to stand up slowly, failing miserably each time as Toge had his hand hover over you, wanting to assist you but respecting the boundaries you had just put up.

It still hurt though, pretty bad. But honestly what hurt most was not the fact you were thrown across an entire backyard, but because Toge had used his curse on you.

Falling onto the ground again after another failed attempt at standing up, he reached for you, but pulled back the last second- afraid to hurt or even scare you.

A second of panic passed before he gestured towards the house and signals you to wait.

He hurriedly run inside to call someone else to assist you. It took only less than a minute for him to find someone to hurriedly run back into the garden with him, and once outside, he immediately looked over to where he last left you only to find no one.

You were gone.

Confused and panicked, he immediately began searching the area, calling your name while his body was numbing all the pain he was having from all the movements he was making right now.

"y/n..." He called out to you, his tone sounding slightly beggining to sound desperate "y/n...!" With a little more volume, Toge yelled.

He wanted to talk to you, help you, at least aid you and get you dressed before sending you a car ride home if you didn't want to see him right now.

In the streets, he looked left and right for any clues that you might've left as he was mentally cursing himself for letting you leave the place in such a state.

He curses himself under his breath. Oh how he wished that he could have been actually affected by it, for he deserved it.

Immediately, he brought out his phone, opened your contact, and quickly stared tapping on the keyboard.

y/n

pls

wait

waiy pls

come back

i didnt meanm it

promisr to god i dindtt mean what ibsaid

i didnt menan to spoeak

i didnt mean to say sanythjng to you

im sorry

im so sorry

it was my failt im so sorry come back

im sorry i hurt you

if u dont want tk talk to me plesase let me get someone to take you home ols

please

im so sorry

---///-----///-----///-----///-----///-----///-----///---

THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING PROMPT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE THIS BUT IT WAS TIME TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS

Next Part: They fix it, they don't, or it never gets a third part who knows where the tides will take me🫡

[Honestly felt like I lost my touch in writing long fics ever since the last one I wrote </3 the writing is not giving much for me. I need to work on my craft again :')]

[Overall Masterlist] [Back to JJK Masterlist]

Tags list: @zhenyuuu @megumisdivinedogs

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk toge #toge #toge inumaki #inumaki #jjk smau #angst #jjk angst #x reader #jjk x reader #fic #imagines #sms #text imagines

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as-i-watch · 3 days

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have you ever ranked pirate flag designs? i think i really need to know your take on that… and also who you think designed them in the crew?

Oh this is a good one, i havent done it and havent even thought about it before!

Im not gonna rank all the flags bc im sure i'll forget some, so...

Top 10 Jolly Roger 💀

10. Hawkins Pirates

It has a bit too much going on but i like it, i think its creepy and gives off black magic vibes, true to Hawkins powers and aesthetic

9. Kid Pirates

There so much going on but its badass. It feels like a 13 y/o boy assisted in the choices but its also feel honest, like he genuinely is that. Very true to Kid's personality

8. Thriller Bark Pirates

They showed a bit more restaine than the other two, more clean. Strong aesthetic game in desing and colors, you just know they have a haunted mannor dracula shit going on

7. Whitebear Pirates

Instant classic. Neat and to the point. If you have a physical trait like that use, brand on it. I also like the angry eyes on the skull

6. Buggy Pirates

Speaking of physical traits. No messing around, clown, bosh. I also like it looks silly, it doeant strike fear but its so funny looking that i like it

5. Red Hair Pirates

Against what i've saying, i love they resisted the urge to give their jolly roger red hair (there are other red haired people, its not that unique). Its a classic timeless look. The red streaks bring it together to look like Shanks scars but also an eyepatch but also blood.

4. Heart Pirates

Law does not have a jolly roger he has a Brand™. The jolly roger has nothing to do with his physical appearence of name of the crew but it has a story, or backstory rather. Its a unique shape, it has its own color scheme, he slaps it on on everything. Its a logo, and i like it

It also if you look at it for long enough it starts to look like a surprised egg with striped piyamas on

3. Straw Hat Pirates

Talking of branding. Simple, effective, a pop of color on the hat. Silly looking and you inmediatly know who is behind this crew. A personalised classic and bc its so straight fowards just beats Law's desing to the top three

2. Cook Pirates

Its so silly i cant not give it high marks. Can you even imagine been terrorised by a crew that sails around with that? Amazing. And from the man nicknamed Red Leg Zeff bc of the blood that his kicks drew, duality of men

1. Kuja Pirates

Now that is a look. Its simple yet scary af. It really intimidates you, and its related to Boa but not in a too obvious way, a call back to Medussa and gorgons, badass and dangerous women. Impactful, effective and iconic.

And as for who made them: Hawkins(?) (dont know any other members) / Kid and Killer helped / Hogback / Whitebear but i think he consulted Rogers and they sortof copied eachother / Shanks age 14 as a joke / idk why but Lucky Roux / Law. / Luffy and Usopp helped (as we know) / Zeff (he is quirky like that) / Amazon Lily's CM

#one piece #top 10 #ask #ask: op

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wikiangela · 2 days

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tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @loveyouanyway @tizniz @theotherbuckley @diazsdimples 💖

got back to my bucktommy post-7x05 smut (that's a continuation of a fic that apparently I posted over a month ago?? I gotta get on it lmao)

have a lil bit I just wrote haha (yes, they're only at the point of taking their shirts off and we're at 3.7k 🙈 why is my smut always this fucking long jfc)

prev snippet

___

"There’s no rush.” Tommy smiles, as he dives in for a kiss, grinding his hips against Buck’s, and oh, at this angle it feels even better. “Let me make you feel good first.” Tommy whispers with another roll of his hips.

“As long as you do it naked.” Buck responds, and Tommy laughs again, warm and affectionate, if a little breathless. Then, he sits up and slides his shirt off, throwing it somewhere on the floor. Buck’s hands immediately land on his skin.

“Better?” Tommy asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh, so much better.” Buck nods, eyes scanning the expanse of Tommy’s naked chest, as his hands slowly move all over the skin, caressing the sides, gently running his fingers over the burn scar on his ribs, Tommy’s breath hitching in surprise, but when Buck looks into his eyes, he only sees affection and desire. He has his fair share of scars, too, and he knows how vulnerable showing them might be – because yeah, some people might think the scars are cool or hot or whatever, but no one wants to think about how they got there, or wants to be there to witness it, because it freaks them out. But they both get it, get the dangers of the job, and maybe one day they can share stories about their scars, both mental and physical – Buck would love to hear all about everything that made Tommy who he is now. With time, at some point, it is their second date, after all. So now he just smiles, reassuring, and moves up to press his lips against the scar gently. Tommy’s face melts into something soft. But then Buck’s leaning back again, hands back to traveling over the expanse of Tommy’s chest, going up to his pecs, shoulders, down his arms, and up his back. God, there’s just so much of him.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @weewootruck @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @bidisasterevankinard @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @daffi-990 @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13 @spotsandsocks @hippolotamus @your-catfish-friend @dangerpronebuddie @neverevan

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ariariari-freehounreal · 2 days

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Chelley week day 3: scars

Since they reunited, Chell has always worn atleast a tshirt, never something that really shows her arms. She felt like if Wheatley could see even the physical trauma he left, that would make him feel as though he held some sort of power over her (he wouldn’t feel that way)

So when Chell asks for help with her bandages for the first time (after A LOT of trust building) he finally understands, and he’s finally confronted with that aspect of the trauma he caused. But they have awful communication skills and he initially tries to ignore it out of guilt.

I went ahead and drew all the prompts up to day 5 on paper last night bc I was worried I wouldn’t finish the week otherwise

#portal #portal 2 #chell #Wheatley #chelley #chell x wheatley #wheatley x chell #chelley week 2024 #scars

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sapphanimates · 2 days

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so tadc, @hootbon 's au, jester sonic, and that one circus episode of sonic boom gave me chronic inspiration so guess what this new au i was talking about is.

yeah it's an eggmanland freakshow au.

i'm still working on designs but i'll give yall a cute little idea dump to ponder on while i get a first wave of designs settled on.

(Under cut)

Eggman is the ringmaster and owner of this park. Eggmanland is separated into different sections with many different rides and attractions, all of which are manned by alien animal creatures who don't exactly want to be there.

The most popular of these attractions is the Big Top, a circus show featuring SuperSonic Hedgehog: The Fastest Thing Alive!, as well as a few other acrobats.

I kind of want this to focus on two different characters, Amy entering as a new 'employee' akin to Pomni joining the circus in TADC, and Chris (yes Thorndyke. You know the one.) as a frequent park goer with his heart set on helping the animals in any way he can. Him and Amy would be close i think.

A few other characters I'm on the brink of working out are this world's Sonic and Tails.

They would have a long history of being trapped at the park, apparently attempting to escape multiple times but always getting foiled. One such attempt would leave Sonic very physically and mentally scarred, with him becoming unable to speak. Eggman tries to mask this incident to the audience by giving him a radio collar the plays pre-recorded show phrases.

By this point, he's given up all hope. And Tails just does their best to support him.

(Tails is a clown/jester, and kind of a Ragatha type character in this scenario.)

And that's it for now. I'll get to work on that art, and I'll talk to you all again soon!

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calliopecalling · 2 years

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QOTS Rewatch - Season 3 Retrospective

As always, before moving onto the next season (😭) I want to take a look back at this last one. Season 3 is great. I know I've said season 2 is my favorite (it is, in my opinion, the strongest season overall, tightest in terms of character work and story building), but season 3 is a pivotal season character-wise for Teresa and James both. It's the season of James's redemptive arc and a season that sets Teresa ever further on the path towards darkness. As with the previous seasons, here's what I'll cover:

My Top 3 Episodes

My Top 5 Scenes

Season 3 Episodes Ranked

Teresa’s Journey

Jeresa, DUH

Top 3 Season 3 Episodes

This is too easy:

3: 3x08, El Carro

All three of my top season episodes have in common that they have amazing conversations between Teresa and James, conversations that actually move the needle significantly and help us understand both characters, especially Teresa. This one's conversations in the rabbit car ('so you regret what we did?' 'of course not!') and later in the bathroom at their house ('this is who I am' 'I know, but you don't have to hide from me') left me vibrating when I watched this the first time and STILL make me freak out when I watch them with how incredible it is that this drug cartel show gave us mature and thoughtful and provocative conversations between the characters of the main ship. Mind-blowing. Like they aren't going to play games with each other?!?!?! So fucking refreshing. Anyway, bonus points for the car chase, for Teresa panicking about James in danger, for her conversation with Pote about what was going on with James (in which she barely said anything at all), and for Taza, George, and Lil T all co-starring.

2: 3x05, El Juicio

'Not your favorite???' I hear you cry. No, listen, this episode is only not my favorite because, as a whole, the Camila/Cortez/Loya side story is really boring and takes up way too much screen time. I really resent what this season did to Camila's character, silo-ing her with these two uninteresting male characters all season who barely had anything to do with Teresa's story either. But other than the Camila content, this episode is LITERAL FIRE. The soft Jeresa flirting at the beginning, the iconic showdown with Devon, and James's confession followed by the most beautiful first love scene for a TV ship *EVER* make this episode sooo hard to beat. So hard to beat that only one episode this season beats it, and that is...

1: 3x02, El Colgado

I'm going to confess that this is one of my most rewatched episodes of the series. I find the tension between them here--and its sweet and tentative resolution--soooo compellingly real and complex. That car chase scene at the beginning is funny and hot and bittersweet all at once, with a (terrified and mistrusting) small but mighty Teresa and a (bewildered and utterly transparent) competent as always James trying to confront the trust issues that separated them in the first place while also trying to just, you know, stay alive with enemies coming at them from all angles. Then the soft conversation in the cop car and the final balcony scene while Pote is recuperating is just pure magic. It's incredible. And the Camila story (trying to kill Teresa in Malta) obviously ties in directly to Teresa's so it doesn't feel irrelevant or annoying. As I said: my most-watched episode of the season. Watching Teresa force James to tie himself up and put himself in the trunk while he shakes his head at her is BETTER THAN SEX. I said what I said.

Top 5 Season 3 Scenes

I had a tough time narrowing down this season's best scenes. But after a few elimination rounds, I finally have to concede it's these five. Again, they are all Jeresa scenes. I genuinely think their relationship became the backbone of the show this season, with Camila and Teresa hardly sharing any screentime. But also, no shame, I am just a total glutton for Jeresa content. I also realized that in seasons 1 and 2, I had top scenes from episodes other than the top episodes. Not so this season. Hmmm what does that mean? ANYWAY, here they are:

#5:

The scene: Episode 3x08, the 'so you regret what we did?' 'of course not!' conversation.

What I love about it: The cathartic vulnerability in James's uneasy question, the shocking candidness of Teresa's response, and the fact that in a simple call and response, the agony of the two previous episodes of James wondering where he stands with her instantly resolves. This is flawless writing, with both of them so beautifully in-character.

#4:

The scene: Episode 3x02, the end-of-episode balcony scene.

What I love about it: the softness! James's transparency! Teresa SMILING! The flirtinggggggg. Ugh I can't stand the cuteness. And also, at the same time, I love how clear she is that he'll be working for her, not with her; she is unapologetic about her power and it's insanely attractive to me. And James isn't threatened by it! In fact, he fully accepts it and respects her. It's incredible to witness this dynamic on TV.

#3:

The scene: Episode 3x05, the 'Unholy War' scene, i.e., the showdown with Devon and company.

What I love about it: If I were more objective, I might rank this first, because the combination of the tension, the music, the cinematography, the acting, James's shock at Teresa risking her life for him, and then the incredible resolution with Lil T's phone call and Teresa coolly sending Devon off makes this one of the most iconic scenes in the entire show. But I'm not objective, and my top two slots are reserved for my fave strictly Jeresa scenes of the season.

#2:

The scene: Episode 3x02, from the moment Teresa turns her gun on James in his getaway car to the moment she makes him get in the trunk.

What I love about it: I've basically already said this in my discussion of why this episode is in my season top 3. The impeccable acting shows exactly how rattled Teresa is and reveals how personal his reappearance is, and the clash between her simmer and James being utterly cool and calm under pressure is pure delight.

#1:

The scene: Does it really need to be said? Episode 3x05, THE KISS.

What I love about it: Oh my god. What don't I love?

Season 3 Episodes Ranked

3x02

3x05

3x08

3x09

3x04

3x01

3x13

3x12

3x03

3x07

3x06

3x10

3x11

I don't usually explain my rankings but... the whole is-James-a-mole thing and the Kelly Anne getting 'killed' thing really kinda makes it hard for me to assess the artistic merits of those episodes without my emotional bias. Hence those two being at the bottom. Same goes for the Guero death episodes, though those weren't quite as painful and had good resolution anyway. I can't really explain why 3x03 is so low for me but it's never been a favorite. I love the James/Pote dynamic there, and love King George, but ehhh. It always felt a little heavy-handed to me somehow.

Teresa's Journey

It's hard to talk about Teresa's journey this season without getting ahead of myself because this season really was the crossroads. It's not that she's unrecognizable by the end of it--or that seasons 4 and 5 Teresa have nothing left of "old Teresa"--but something in her hardens by the end of this season so that if you look back at her in seasons 1 and 2 you can really see it. In season 1, Teresa was doing everything she could to get out of the business and escape with Brenda to a new life. In season 2, after losing Brenda, she'd decided escape was futile and by the end, decided she was going to hang out her own shingle because doing that, and fighting for her own power, was the only way she would be able to survive. But she'd also convinced herself that she could do this business a different way, "without all the killing." She could be the person she was in her core and run a drug cartel.

And season 3 started out seeming like that could actually work. She had a vision for her business that was essentially to run it as a legitimate business. This meant not just being financially savvy and entrepreneurial, but also meant ... not just offing people for saying the wrong thing. The problem though is that as her business grew, she acquired enemies: the "traditional" lords of the criminal underworld who weren't interested in learning her rules. They were perfectly content to try to force her to play by theirs. And little by little she was indeed forced to do just that. In the first few episodes of the season she burns an entire fledgling business to the ground--and a significant new business relationship--because she can't stomach the sex trade aspect of the cartel world. But by just a few episodes later, she's using a wedding party as a personal shield because she refuses to clear out of Phoenix where her enemies are trying to get rid of her. And by the end, in her most shocking queenpin-like move yet, she's ordering the execution of someone she loved but who hurt her.

At the beginning of the season, in other words, she's willing to risk her life in order to do the morally right thing. In the middle, she's willing to accept some moral compromises in order to survive. But by the end, she's willing to enforce those moral compromises as a matter of principle. Ouch. And it all happens because of trauma. Every step of her hardening seems to come about as a direct reaction to some new terrible thing. Devon coming for her. Camila coming for her. Guero dying. The explosion and her near death in Bolivia. Someone in her inner circle betraying her. Cortez coming for her. And then... James leaving. Again: poor woman.

The show didn't linger enough, in my opinion, on her decision to order Kelly Anne to be killed. That ought to have been a huge decision she would've agonized over, and she ought to have suffered over it on-screen more than she did, precisely because it would have made this arc clearer. The fact that we don't see her think about it at all after it happens makes it seem as if she moved on from it rather quickly. Maybe that's the point--the fact she can move on from it quickly means she's already hardened--but still I think it could've been made more obvious to the viewers that it was a shocking choice, perhaps by having her talk to James about it.

...which brings me to Jeresa.

Jeresa

James and Teresa's relationship was this season really the only way we had any access to Teresa's inner emotional world. She has moments with Pote, but It's in her conversations with James that we hear her actually talk about herself in a real way--both her visions for the business and her thoughts and feelings about her emotional landscape. (It's exactly this hole that James leaves in season 4). I really feel like I've kind of talked to death about their dynamics this season in my individual episode metas already so I'm struggling to summarize coherently. But obviously a lot in this season is magic for them. They are finally separated from Camila and so their relationship actually has space to blossom. They get to know each other better, live together, learn each other's rhythms and see each other's soft sides. James learns to navigate his personal feelings in the context of her being his boss; Teresa learns to trust him and lean on him in more ways than one.

But through both of these things is a more somber undercurrent because while James obviously loves and respects her deeply, he also still missteps in ways that send her trust issues flaring (pushing back too much or too aggressively; smothering her a bit in his efforts to "protect" her; and never really being able to apologize for the ways he might've misstepped--like locking her in the closet, say, or giving her a tracking device in Tony's gameboy!). And while Teresa obviously goes a long way towards trusting him and letting him in emotionally (which, it's no accident that the breakthrough moment for them comes when James is showing her real vulnerability, something that is so palpable that it's impossible not to trust it and her empathy and love come pouring out then), she can't quiet the voices of doubt fully, leading to the heartbreak towards the end of the season. And this heartbreak, for her, will be another clear step towards becoming Queenpin.

There are so many other elements to their relationship that are interesting this season, like the fact Teresa is finally articulating the lessons James was trying to teach her back in season 1 at the same time as it was his own clinging to her lessons from season 1 that resulted in his own transformation before season 3. "You told me there was no good or bad in this business, right?" she says to try to comfort him. But he doesn't believe that anymore, just when she has started to need to believe it. Or, the fact of his departure, after he'd spent all season trying to get her to believe that he wouldn't leave her, being yet another reason for her to believe everyone will die or abandon her, setting her out further on the path towards becoming Queenpin, even while the very essence of his departure is about staying. But this is so long and I am so tired and I have written about all of those things in earlier episode metas and in reblog recap tags. So I'm going to stop.

Coming up next...

Is season 4. I am not going to do individual episode metas for season 4, and there are far fewer gifsets for each episode than there were in season 3 (there are a bunch for the first two episodes but it starts to taper off). So my hope is to get through this season preeeetty quickly. will do a recap of a few episodes at a time just to talk about important themes. Aaaaand I m going to continue to reblog Jeresa and James gifsets throughout the s4 rewatch, just because this is my blog and I can do what I want, and I don't want a James-less couple weeks here lol. Anyway, just letting y'all know who've been following along that we're going to scoot right along so we won't suffer too badly 😂 Season 4 has some merits and positives, so definitely want to celebrate those, but my Jeresa-possessed soul will also need some moral support to get through it.

#queen of the south #qots #qots s3 #2021 rewatch #txt post #qots meta #season 3 retrospective #episode rankings #OH I also just wanted to talk about Camila for a sec #and how she kept drawing parallels between herself and Teresa #and how even the queenpin season opener ('the end justifies the means')#seems to reinforce this idea that we're meant to understand Teresa as becoming more Camila-like in her ways #but I don't really see it #I mean it still seems to me like everything she does is antithetical to Camila #the end *doesn't* just justify the means for her and it never has #and she doesn't just have 'her people' do her dirty work for her #she is in the dirt with them as often as she can be #with all the physical scars to show for it #anyway Camila is delusional #and hopefully off living like a hermit crab somewhere in the desert

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glass-noodle · 1 year

Note

What is Connor's worse scar so far?

Probably his tracker/monitor scar. He’s had several surgical incisions, but merpeople have an extremely fast rate of healing and regeneration (something that Kamski became particularly interested in after he’d caught Connor), so most of those scars have healed already, leaving only faint white lines if anything.

The scar on his temple, however, seems to be strangely persistent. It’s his most painful scar to date, and it’s also a constant reminder of everything that’s been done to him.

#lab merman au #hankcon #on one hand it would suck to have permanently gnarly scars as a physical reminder of all the trauma you’ve been through #but on the other hand Connor feels a weird disconnect between his body and his mind #he’s been through so much #and yet the only place it really shows is in his demeanor (and his gauntness)#his body is fresh for the scientists to make new incisions and marks each time #and he’s bitter about it

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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