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ritcchamadayo · 1 year

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Hear me out, what if for Valentine's Day, Jamil's s/o does all his chores for him in secret? Not only that, they invite him to Ramshackle for a feast dedicated to him because he's worked so hard?

awww (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠) anon thats so sweet!! all the love for Jamil, he deserves a rest from time to time!

Only for You

Jamil Viper x Reader ; For your overworked, responsible boyfriend Jamil Viper, you decide to make this year's Valentine's the best he's ever had! (It's kinda my first time writing Jamil, so I hope I do him justice~)

"...Huh?"

To say that he was surprised is more than an understatement. Jamil woke up early that day, got himself dressed and even took his time making sure his braids were in perfect position. He was sure he's ready to tackle all the chores and favors Kalim might give him today, but...

He definitely didn't expect a fully-dressed Kalim to be setting the table for breakfast, and he certainly didn't expect the scent of Eggs Lahsa and toasted Pita breads filling the entire domitory.

"Good morning Jamil!" Kalim beamed, pulling the taller man towards the Scarabia lounge.

"Good morning." Jamil answered curtly, still a little confused. "Why is everyone out so early and setting up breakfast already?" He took a glance at the multiple Scarabia students in the area, holding plates and cutleries in their hands.

"You won't believe what happened!" Kalim exclaimed. "When we woke up, breakfast was already served and made in the kitchen! Wasn't it your doing, Jamil?"

Jamil was at a loss for words. "I.. I just woke up, I didn't cook anything. There's even some Shawarma fillings ready to cook..? This is more than enough for lunch and dinner."

"Huh." The housewarden shrugged. "Well, there's enough food for a feast so let's just dig in! It's rare for you to have a day off from the kitchen!" Kalim ran towards their dorm mates, with Jamil hurriedly trailing behind him. "Kalim, wait! I need to check for poison first! Kalim!!!"

---

The breakfast was positively safe and delicious, both Kalim and Jamil even found themselves enough leftovers to have a second portion. And while everyone's happy that Jamil had one less thing to worry about today, Jamil's confusion keeps on adding up during the day and the man was stunned in place when he saw the sight in front of him.

He'd usually do the laundry for his and Kalim's clothes, hand washing them personally and leaving them up on the clothesline overnight before folding them the next day. But he didn't expect the clothes he put off to clean from yesterday were all hung on the clothesline, meanwhile the dried cloths were already neatly ironed and folded, sitting on the laundry basket and lint-free, the soft scent of his usual detergent filled the laundry room.

Jamil was a cautious man though, and he had to re-check all the clothes and the folds to make sure nobody planted anything on them. Once he's sure that their clothes are all clear, he decided to run towards the kitchen. There should be some dirty dishes left, right?

Oh how he was wrong. All the pots, pans, and plates were squeaky cleaned and carefully polished, neatly put down on the kitchen counter. Jamil gasped, once again surprised and confused. "Who in the world..?" He checked each plate and pan, finding that it's been meticulously cleaned and no stains were left on them.

"Kalim's room..!"

Jamil ran towards the housewarden's room, and was just as surprised when he saw the room has been meticulously cleaned as well. The bedsheets were tidily folded and the pillows were fluffed up, the floor was spotless and polished, and even after careful inspection Jamil didn't find any of Kalim's belongings out of place or stolen.

"Who would be doing all of this, I wonder... They're definitely not looking to take advantage of Kalim, that's for sure." Jamil raised an eyebrow, opting to double check around Kalim's room.

His thoughts wandered over to the Octavinelle housewarden and his two peers, who had pulled this sort of stunt a while before he overblotted.

"Could it be Azul..? No, no way. If it was, he'd be obnoxiously showing himself around the dorm and I'd be able to hear those obnoxious clacking of his shoes. And the twins would be hard to miss, since they're big and tall."

"JAMIIILLLLL!!!!" Kalim soon ran into his room, pouncing on his childhood friend. "UWAGH- KALIM!"

Kalim laughed and rolled off the man, his hand seemingly holding onto a piece of paper. "Did you clean up the room for me? Thanks so much Jamil!" He exclaimed, the usual grin on his face. "Oh! Anyway, I found this letter in front of your room earlier! I think someone might be looking for you!"

Jamil reeled in from the impact of Kalim's body, but he quickly recovered and took the letter from Kalim's hands.

"To : Mr. Jamil Viper,

I cordially invite you to come to Ramshackle Dorm tonight at 19:00, for a special surprise. Don't be late!

~ <;3"

Jamil chuckled, looking at the all too familiar handwriting. Who else but the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm who would send him such an invitation?

"Who is it? Who is it?" Kalim peeked from behind Jamil's shoulder, reading the contents of the letter. "Oh! It's (Y/n)!" Kalim made a smug look and nudged his friend. "Look at you, getting a surprise from the prefect!"

Jamil laughed, swatting Kamil away gently. "I suppose I'll need to be prepared then."

---

Jamil really didn't need to rush. All his chores were done by the mystery person, and his partner called him out to Ramshackle to spend some time together. He's happy, but he's also weirdly worried about the mystery man who was walking around Scarabia and doing chores unnoticed. But his partner comes first, and Jamil shook it off as he walked through the mirror and onto the path to Ramshackle.

He softly knocked on the door once he arrives, and the door quickly opened. "You made it, Jamil!" You smiled up at him, letting him inside the dorm. "I wouldn't pass up the opportunity, (Y/n)."

What surprised Jamil even more though, was the layout of Ramshackle's lounge. Instead of the usual sofa and rickety chairs, there was a small table for two in the middle filled with a lot of Jamil's favorite foods.

"Wow... (Y/n), i mean- wow." Jamil looked at awe of the spread, a light blush spreading on his face. "What's the occasion?"

You laugh, pulling the chair out and telling him to sit down. "Don't you remember? It's Valentines!"

Jamil didn't notice the date up until then. He was so focused on finding out the mystery man, he didn't realize it was February 14th. You took his hands in yours, gently holding them as he looked up to you.

"I wanted to do something for you, since you've been working so hard for everyone."

Jamil stared at your hands. It was littered with cuts and bandaids, your fingertips rough and calloused, and the skin around your nails were peeling off.

"Oh."

Then it hit him.

"You were the one going around in Scarabia and doing all the chores, weren't you?"

You chuckled shyly, scratching the back of your head. "W-was it obvious? I just wanted you to have a small break, from time to time! Since you must be tired handling Scarabia's affairs and looking after Kalim, and you're still trying your best to make time for me.. I thought I'd do something to lessen the burden.."

Jamil was more than flustered. No one ever asked him whether he needed help, or even gave him any. He pulled up the hood of his shirt, shyly averting your eyes as his fingers traced along the small cuts on your hands.

"Thank you, (Y/n.)"

"Only for you, Jamil." You giggle, moving to the chair in front of him. "C'mon, let's eat before it gets cold! I made some curry, and I even asked Kalim for a Baklava recipe earlier! I hope you like it!"

Jamil chuckles, standing up to grab the food. "Ah, so Kalim was involved. Alright, let me handle the food and washing the dishes. It's the least I could do in return for you, dear."

#✨RitcchanWrites #✨RitcchanDreams #✨TwistedRitchuland #twisted wonderland #twst #jamil viper #twst jamil #jamil x reader #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper x mc #jamil viper x y/n

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remembertoeat · 9 months

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Dinner Recipe: Gyros

TIME: ★★★✰

PRICE: ★★★✰

EASE: ★★★✰

CLEANUP: ★★★✰

This is another recipe that can vary dramatically in ease and time depending on how involved you want to be with it!

At its core, it's: season and cook meat, make sauce, chop veg, put in pita. Done. That takes about 15-20 minutes. This is an amalgamation of several gyro recipes I've tried to make a good at-home version. It'll never be as good as the family-run Greek restaurant, but it's pretty darn good!

(I HIGHLY recommend making your own pitas once you get comfy with it- it's just WAY tastier! Here is the Easy Pita Bread recipe I use! But store-bought works just fine! )

Ingredients: 1. 1 lb Ground Meat (I typically use a 50/50 mix of lamb and turkey because lamb is EXPENSIVE. You can totally use just ground turkey, ground beef, or even sliced up chicken breast if you want! Just be sure to season it!) 2. 1/3rd cup Greek Yogurt 3. 1 TB minced Garlic 4. Oregano, Salt, Pepper to taste 5. Veggies of choice (I use: spinach, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, kalamata olives, and pepperoncini.) 6. Pitas -Heat a frying pan on medium with some olive oil (1 TB or whatever you use to lube your pan) -Mix your yogurt, garlic, and seasonings into the ground meat. Using your hands is probably the best method but I am a baby and use a fork or wooden spoon. -Press your ground meat into the pan in one big meat patty. Let it cook like that until one side gets nice and brown (if using pieces of chicken, just cook your chicken in the yougurt marinade) -Flip it over in chunks. This keeps it from getting a super 'ground meat' texture and feels more like strips/cuts of meat. Let it brown on the other side. -Once the meat is thoroughly cooked (feel free to break some chunks up to check), slice your veg, make your sauce, put everything on the pita! Done! Easy "Tzatziki Sauce" I don't add the cucumbers to the sauce because it takes a ton of extra time. This way only takes a minute or two and you can just add sliced cucumbers to your gyro later! 1. 1/2 cup PLAIN Greek yogurt (the amount of times I've accidentally grabbed vanilla greek yogurt from the store is absurd.) 2. 1/2 TB Minced Garlic 3. Oregano, Salt, Pepper to taste 4. 1/2 TB Lemon Juice -Mix everything together. Taste test it to make sure it's salty/garlicy enough. If it's too salty, add a little more yogurt.

This will DEFINITELY make multiple servings of meat. One of my favorite things to do with leftovers is to put the meat and veg on a salad and use the tzatziki as a dressing. It's SUPER good.

#dinner #20 minutes #food #recipe #gyros #easy dinner

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cevansbrat0007 · 1 year

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https://youtu.be/-KDS_NuXYHI

This is how I’d imagine Andy and jr ngl

Summary: Don't ever ask Andy about his business...

Warnings: Fluff, Girl!Dad Andy, Shady A.J., Cursing, Shenanigans, Brief Talk of Murder, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own.

___

You're heading into the kitchen in search of an afternoon snack when you almost collide with your son, A.J. At thirteen-years-old, he's already a good head taller than your 5"2 frame. The boy was growing like a weed – with no signs of slowing down. At this rate he was going to be taller than Andy by the time he hit sixteen.

“Woah!” He , grabbing your arm in an attempt to steady you. “You really gotta start watching how you take those corners, Mom. I really thought you were about to run me over.”

“Sorry, honey. I was on a mission – need something yummy to tide me over until dinner. Preferably something crunchy.” You tell him before shaking off his hold so that you can wrap an arm around his shoulders. “We got anything good in here?”

“Probably not. RoRo ate the last of the potato chips last night.” He answers as he follows you back into the kitchen towards the pantry.

Well, that was disappointing. You’d kind of had your heart set on some salt and vinegar kettle chips. “That’s alright.” Sighing, you begin to rifle through the cupboards.

Maybe you’d munch on a few sourdough pretzel bites instead.

“Looking for the pretzels?”

“Uh huh.” You turn to stare at him over your shoulder. “Why? Don’t tell me those are gone too?”

“Yep.” He confirms. “Dad and KitCat polished ‘em off a couple days ago.”

“Seriously?” You grunt. “But everyone knows that the ones with the honey mustard seasonings are my favorite! And they still ate them?”

Wasn’t family supposed to love you enough not to eat your shit? Wasn’t that, like, a cardinal rule or something?

“Mom…I really hate to break it to you, but…” A.J. leans over to rest his forearms on the island, his expressive hazel eyes dancing with mischief. “We’re living with a bunch of heathens. And at this point, I really think they’re beyond help. They’re way too far gone.”

Now that makes you laugh.

“You’re probably just saying that because they didn’t offer you any.” You’re still chuckling as you decide to try your luck with some hummus and carrots you’d stashed in the back of the fridge.

“They were incredibly rude. Katrina flat out told me that hoped she offended my “delicate sensibilities”.” He grumbles with a snort. “And then she got mad when I asked her how many cats she planned on living with when she moved out after college.”

“Bet she didn’t like that one very much.” You mutter as you decide against the carrots in favor of some garlic pita bread.

“She didn’t. Even called me a few choice names that I’d rather not repeat. Mostly because I can’t pronounce them. And I refuse to look them up.” He sniffs, turning up his nose in mock outrage. “I told her that if she wants to insult her baby brother, then she needs to do it like a normal person.”

“Right…I’ll, uh, ask your sister to stop using the dictionary to insult you the next time I see her.” You dip a chunk of pita into your hummus before popping it in your mouth. Shit was good.

“Thank you! She’s worse than BiBi now.”

A.J. tries to steal a piece of your snack, only to pout when you slap his hand away. You boy was seriously starting to resemble Andy more and more these days, from their facial expressions to their shared mannerisms. Sometimes it was downright scary.

“You’re welcome, darling.” You’re about to shovel another bite of food into your mouth when a thought strikes you. “Mm! Speaking of Bianca, I thought she said her boyfriend was gonna stop by."

"He did." He grunts with a shrug.

That’s…odd. You think. You hadn’t heard the door while you were upstairs. And even though you’d been laying down, it wasn’t like you’d been sleeping or anything.

"What? When?" You cough as you choke down a piece of bread.

“Eh, probably about thirty minutes ago.” Comes your son’s noncommittal response. “I caught him before he could ring the bell."

And now you were doubly confused. Because A.J. never really seemed to care about the boys his sisters brought around. In fact, he mostly ignored them unless they brought food or wanted to talk about video games. Otherwise, he just stared at them without blinking until his foe got too uncomfortable.

"Good thing you were by the door, I guess.” You motion for him to hand you a bottle of water sitting on the edge of the counter so that you can wash down your snack. “But where is he now?"

Another shrug. And then he looks off in the direction of the yard.

“Dad took him out back. Might’ve said something about wanting to show him the new shed."

“But A.J., sweetheart, we’ve had that shed for over a year now.” Okay, you were officially confused. What wasn’t he telling you? And where was BiBi’s boyfriend?

“It’s new to Eddie.” He looks back at you with unrepentant eyes before striding over to the refrigerator to grab himself a couple of black cherry sodas.

“Could’ve sworn his name was Everett, but –” You force yourself to stop and think about what your son just said. “Wait a minute! Why the hell did your father take him back there?” You quickly reach for a paper towel to wipe your hands.

This was not good.

“Honestly, mom…” A.J. pauses to crack open his drink. “It's best if you don't know. Dad says plausible deniability is always the way to go in these kinds of situations.” He takes a deep pull from the can before letting out a small burp. “Sorry.”

Your feelings of concern were slowly morphing into panic.

"W-what situation? What happened with your Dad and Everett?" You look and sound as if you’re prepared to shake somebody, which prompts him to take several steps away from you. Your son was smart enough to know to keep himself out of snatching distance.

“A word to the wise, mother. Never ask us about our business." With that, he spins on his heel prepared to walk away. “This conversation never happened."

Of course Andy picks that particular moment to join both you and your boy in the kitchen, draping a heavy arm atop his shoulder. By all appearances, he looks like he’s been busy toiling in the yard. And he’s rocking the dirty smudges to prove it.

“Andrew – what is going on?" Your wide eyes flit back and forth between your husband and son, waiting for one of them to break. “And where is Everett?”

“I tried to tell her, Dad.” Your son murmurs. Without missing a beat, A.J. hands his father the other unopened can of soda, which he graciously accepts.

“I know, son. And it’s nothing, sweetheart. BiBi’s friend, Elliott, just stopped by to tell us that he’s gonna have to miss our barbecue on the seventeenth. Something about choosing to study abroad in Russia. Nice kid. Sent him along with well wishes to his family and prayers for a safe flight.” He offers you a one armed shrug coupled with an all-too innocent grin, letting you know that he’s over this entire conversation.

“But why would you –?” Shit. “I thought he was gonna spend the summer working for his Uncle in Salem? What did you do to him?”

Just how much damage control were you going to have to do here?

Andy clears his throat as he sips his soda. “Listen to the boy.” He gives A.J.’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “And please, my love, don’t ever ask us about our business.”

“But I thought…” You look away for a second, squinting at your sock covered feet while you collect your thoughts and puzzle this out. “Why would you –?”

You turn back to them, only to discover that they’re long gone. Groaning, you fetch some tylenol from a nearby cabinet and toss it back. And then you go off to find your shoes.

Time to check the backyard.

As long as that poor young man wasn’t somewhere buried in your garden, you’d leave your Barber Boys to their freaking business. But until then, well…

Your family might as well start calling you Nancy fucking Drew.

END

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gurgling-guts · 1 year

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Flatulence in Formal

written for the request in my previous post

content warning: food indulgence, descriptions of stomach noises and flatulence, humiliation

--------------------

A and B were invited to a formal dinner party with A's boss and coworkers, at their boss's house. They were quite excited, as A's boss had a wonderful property, the house with two stories and a basement, and a gorgeous botanical garden past the gazebo. Not to mention, it was her birthday, so she'd be going all out.

B pondered aloud as they finished preparing themselves for the evening,

"I wonder what's planned this time around. Last time she threw a dinner party like this we both came home stuffed to the brim."

"God, I don't know, but we won't need to eat much before we go, or after."

As the pair arrived mid afternoon, they were greeted by a few of A's friends and coworkers, and their boss, guiding them to the dining room.

A's boss bragged, "I do hope you all haven't eaten much yet today, I've quite a filling feast for us tonight."

"I'm sure, you always go all out and feed us well when celebrating like this."

They made their way to the dining room where there was a long table set to seat twenty. The display was gorgeous, bouquets of the flowers in their boss's garden, candle light, and a great spread of vegetables, pita bread, and chips with blue cheese, creamy garlic hummus, and salsa for dipping.

A and B took their seats next to each other and near their dearest friends, and began chatting, digging into the hummus, and wrapping up veggies in their pita for a delicious bite. They wondered if their boss had grown the broccoli, carrots, cucumbers, and other vegetables in her garden, as they were fresh and flavorful, picked at just the right time.

As they talked, one of A's friends complimented their slim midi dress, adorned with gorgeous patterns and lace along the slit.

"I love the way the silk makes it shine in the sunlight. It hugs your figure splendidly."

They smiled, "Why, thank you. Perhaps we should go out and have you fitted for one in your favorite color, I think you would look just lovely."

After a short while of snacking and beginning to drink, the main course would be served. The meal was blackened salmon with a side of toasted brown rice with mushrooms and thyme, and a hearty three bean salad. It smelled amazing, and they couldn't wait to try a bite of salmon with the salad. As the boss's house staff set the plates in front of each guest, A inhaled deeply, mouth watering at the scent of the mushrooms and different seasonings.

They were quick to bite into the salmon, scooping some of the rice with it. It was perfect, tender and falling apart in their mouth. It had a slight kick, but wasn't too spicy. And the mushrooms with the rice… it was a buttery and earthy heaven on their tongue. They swallowed it down with a bit of their wine, going in to try the salad. It was savory and zesty, and somewhat crunchy, with red onions, celery, and a wonderful vinegar dressing.

As they got near the halfway point of their meal, they felt their stomach rumble a bit. Thankfully, it wasn't audible, but they began to feel some discomfort. They applied a bit of pressure to their tummy, noticing a slight tightness around their belly button. For a while, their discomfort was eased as the bubbles moved along their digestive tract. Caring not, they ate more, relishing in the flavor of the salmon and salad.

As they got closer to clearing their plate, their tummy bubbled more, and pressure was building. They were feeling even more uncomfortable around their middle, and their digestion refused to be quiet any longer. A long, bubbly gurgle sounded out from A's tummy. Their coworker next to them, who happened to be a bit tipsy, heard, and decided to tease, "Somebody's got the bubble guts. Eat too many beans?"

A's face flushed, and they put their hand to their tummy, feeling how it had rounded out. It continued bubbling and building up more pressure, stretching the fabric of their dress… Their friend was quite right about the state of their tummy, and they were humiliated to have it pointed out.

"Please excuse me for those noises. I m-must've swallowed quite a bit of air.."

"Sure, that's why it's rumbling. You better be careful, I heard the boss is serving blueberry cheesecake for dessert."

A pushed away their plate, and rubbed their tummy as inconspicuously as they could, making sure to clench their bum to avoid letting anything out. They dreaded the next course and the havoc it would wreak in their gut. They looked toward their partner for comfort, not sure if they should try to stand to go relieve some pressure.

B had overheard, realizing A's situation quickly, and gave them a look of concern. They reached over to A, rubbing their side, and feeling their bloat. They felt sympathy for them, knowing they weren't only uncomfortable, but surely embarrassed from their coworker's teasing. Between the broccoli, garlic hummus, beans, and onions, they were already guaranteed a wicked bellyache, but with dairy added? Even B's gut was a bit rumbly. It was a recipe for some very potent gas, at the least.

A's belly rumbled again, and they winced, the pressure now causing cramps. They clenched tight, and waited for the discomfort to subside before standing. If they didn't go somewhere private soon, they'd be letting loose in front of everyone.

"Excuse me love, I'm going to go.. uhm..freshen up a bit before we have dessert."

"Alright my dear, are you feeling okay?"

Their tummy growled again as they spoke, "Y-yes, I just need some fresh air and a minute of privacy. I'll be back shortly."

B frowned, worried for their partner. They watched as A headed off, a hand low on their gut that now was as round as it could manage. Their dress was most certainly hugging their figure now.

Once A knew they were somewhere they wouldn't be heard, they found a seat, and relaxed their tightened muscles, unclenching their bum. A long string of loud farts rumbled out of them. The gas felt hot on its way out, reeking of all the veggies and beans they'd eaten earlier. They blushed even though they were alone, ashamed of how unruly their gut was… It was their own fault for having so much of the things they knew made them gassy. A groaned, their tummy still bubbling and cramping. They pushed, but couldn't get any more of their gas out.

Worrying about A, B decided to leave the table as well to find them. It didn't take long, as when they turned a corner in the hall, they heard A's groans of discomfort. As they walked further, a faint smell of rotten vegetables and sulfur hit B, and they found A. They looked up at B as they walked in, confused, "What are you doing here, love?"

"I was worried about you.. I know your tummy has been giving you quite a bit of trouble, and I wanted to help."

A blushed, looking to the floor, "You aren't wrong about that… but I'm alright, you don't need to do anything."

B sat with A, putting their hand on B's tummy, feeling all the bubbles rolling through them,

"I know. I want you to feel better, though. May I?"

A sighed, knowing they did need help, and relief. They nodded, "Please…"

Having A's permission, B began to massage their abdomen slowly and gently with pressure. They began at the lower right of their tummy, working their way up their right side, across, and down their left side, several times. A particularly bassy rumble began, ending in the lower left side of A's tummy.

"Oh lord.. I'm so sorry for my tummy's noises, B… I know it's unpleasant."

"You're alright, love. Your tummy is just bubbly, it happens to everyone. Here, feel mine."

A reached out curiously, pressing their fingertips to B's lower belly. Sure enough, they felt the bubbles, and realized B would be gassy as well.

B applied more pressure, working A's trapped gas, and the deep bubbles had let them know it was almost out. Their fingers reached a hard spot, and they pressed just slightly harder, causing a series of growls, and an airy, rumbling fart to erupt from A's rump. They felt some physical relief, but they were a blushing mess. They felt repulsed by their bodily functions.

"Please excuse me again…"

"Of course, love. Does your tummy feel any better?"

"Yes, only a little bit, though."

"I'll keep rubbing your tummy until you feel relieved enough to return to the table, alright?"

"Alright. I can't thank you enough, love…"

They tooted again, flooding rank air out of their irritated bowels.

"Oh goodness, the smell. I'm so sorry my tummy is like this right now. I feel terrible…"

B pressed on their tummy again, forcing more gas out their bum.

"Ex-excuse me."

"I promise you're alright. I don't mind the noises, or even the smell. I want your tummy to feel better, especially before dessert."

A groaned, being reminded of the cheesecake they'd soon be eating, even though they most definitely shouldn't.

"Thank you for helping me… relieve myself. I'm worried though, I know the cheesecake is going to make my tummy even more bubbly than it was."

"Well… do you feel less bloated?"

"I suppose. It's not gurgling much anymore, and it isn't hard to the touch."

"I think it'll be alright, then."

"If you're sure. I think I'm ready to go back."

With that, A and B returned to the table holding hands, A's tummy slightly less distended. They both sat down again, their friends and coworkers on either side greeting them.

Just as before, A's coworker was teasing, inquiring about their tummy,

"How's the bubble guts? You still feeling rumbly in your tummy?"

A couldn't help the blush that showed on their cheeks, but they brushed it off,

"I'm feeling quite alright, but thank you for asking."

A few moments after they took their seats again, the cheesecake was served. It looked amazing with the blueberries and glaze drizzled all over each slice individually. The slices were generous in portion, same as the previous course. Though they knew it would cause them more intestinal distress, their mouth watered at the thought of the taste. They dug in with their fork, making sure to get a blueberry.

The cheesecake was decadent and creamy, the blueberry glaze having the perfect balance of tartness and sweetness, and the crust with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg. It was amazing, and though they'd soon regret it, they felt it was worth the consequences, at least at that moment. As A got full after half their cheesecake, their tummy returned to a bubbling, gurgling mess. They passively rubbed their gut, knowing they'd need privacy again soon. Their belly was so full and gassy that it hurt.

A waited for the right time to excuse themselves again, not wanting much attention, especially from the likes of those next to them. To their utter dismay, as they shifted to stand, their tummy rumbled, and a loud fart bubbled out of them. It lasted long enough to break the tables' conversation and draw all attention to A. Their coworker who'd previously teased them for their bubbly tummy spat out their drink, unable to stifle their laughter.

They flushed red immediately, humiliation washing over them, tummy still bubbling loudly.

They stammered out their words, "P-pardon me, something is-" they farted again, this time punctuated by a wet sputter, "S-something is really disagreeing with me. I'm terribly sorry for my stomach's noises and my.. my, uhm, wind."

Their boss chuckled, along with a few giggling coworkers, some of which accidentally farted as well, causing another burst of laughter at the table.

"Don't worry about it, after all, we've all had a plate of beans and a cheesecake. If you need it though, or anyone else, the bathroom is down the left hall, or up the stairs."

They nodded, and excused themselves quickly, tooting on their way to the bathroom. They spent a while in there, waiting out their gas and their shame, hoping that by the time they left the restroom, it would be time to go home. They decided to sit on the toilet, just in case anything other than gas was brewing. This time, thankfully, their timing was good, and once they returned to the dining room, everyone was standing around chatting, while the staff cleared the table.

A beelined their way through goodbyes and friends joking about their eruption at the table, and they got a couple compliments for their gas. A couple coworkers said it was "impressive." This made them feel odd… but not in a bad way, strangely. Once they found B waiting, they squeezed their hand, ready to rush out to their car.

"Are you ready to head home, love?"

"Of course, dear. Is your stomach feeling alright?"

A shook their head. Their belly was still bubbling under their skin, still bloated and stretching their dress. B frowned, and rubbed their side gently.

"Let's head out and get home."

They both said their final goodbyes, and walked out to their car. B made sure to take extra care, and helped A into the passenger's side, gently pulling their seat belt over their lap. Lucky for A, and for B's nose, their house wasn't too far, just over a five minute drive.

Once they got home, A was holding their belly, trying their best not to let anything loose in their car. B saw that they were in pain, and carried them inside, taking them to their bedroom. After undressing themself, changing into light and comfortable silk pajamas, B helped A change as well. They slid the dress over A's head, and slid on a loose nightgown that matched B. Before getting into bed, they pulled a heating pad out of the night stand drawer and gave it to A, slipping into bed behind them.

"I love you, my dear. I'm so sorry about the interruptions my tummy caused tonight…"

"I love you, too, darling. I promise, it's nothing to dwell on. Even my belly is getting rumbly. Just relax and I'll rub your tummy until we fall asleep."

A squeezed B's hand gently, letting them rub their unhappy gut, and sighed. They relaxed under the combination of the heating pad's warmth and B's soothing touch, releasing a cacophony of bubbly farts, muffled by the blankets.

B patted their belly, and kissed the back of their head.

"I hope you have sweet dreams, love."

"I hope you do, too. You're my world."

As they relaxed more into B, they kept letting out long, wet farts. The disagreeable food they'd filled up on earlier was making their gut angrier still as it all moved through them. Another wet toot rumbled out into the room, but it hadn't been A this time. B grunted, putting a hand to their gut as they pushed out a rather gurgly fart.

"Ugh, excuse me. The beans are doing a number on me, too."

Hearing B like this, the same way they were vulnerable earlier… A turned over to face B, and kissed their cheek.

"You're quite alright, darling. How about I rub your belly?"

B smiled, kissing A sweetly.

"I would like that very much."

#gg speaks #upset tummy #eproctophilia #gas kink #tummy noises #bloated

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mania-sama · 3 months

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rule #5 - james picard

Rule #5 - James Picard - Fish in a Birdcage

Genshin Impact Pairing - Alhaitham/Kaveh, Kaveh & Tighnari Tags - poison, angst, graphic depictions of illness, vomiting, ambiguous/open ending, suffering! kaveh, caring! alhaitham, medical inaccuracies, unresolved romantic tension Summary - Due to his close association with Alhaitham, Kaveh has an angry red target on his back for all the people Alhaitham has ever made an enemy of to aim for. If anyone wants to hurt Alhaitham, they would have to do it through Kaveh. Word Count - 2,977 Cross-posted from Archive of Our Own Whumptober 2023 - Day 1: Poisoned See my full Whumptober 2023 Challenge on Tumblr or Ao3

Ever since Alhaitham became the Acting Grand Sage, Kaveh has had to live his life under an absurd amount of restrictions. He can’t walk alone at night. He has to make his own food and drink solely water. If he needs an alcoholic drink, he can only go to Lambad’s and he has to watch it be made. He has to keep his vision on at all times, even at night. The door must always remain locked. He needs to be extra vigilant when in public, and he can’t meet with anyone even remotely suspicious for a commission. Above all else — of which Alhaitham finally agreed that his hypervigilance on this subject is actually useful — he shouldn’t tell people of his close relations to Alhaitham.

All because Alhaitham decided to overthrow the government, banish the officials to prison and exile, and sit on the throne himself. Not that he ever wanted the position, but that point doesn’t matter when his enemies are keenly aware of all the other things he did. And Alhaitham has a lot of enemies.

Kaveh doesn’t doubt that his life is in moderate danger. He’s not stupid, only annoyed and becoming increasingly more miserable as the days drag on. It’s been three months, and Alhaitham still hasn’t found a person to transfer the title to. He’s made at least three meals every day to feed both of them. He carefully inspects every ingredient with his Dendro Vision before he buys it. He hasn’t gone out at night without a highly-ranked Matra tailing behind. He checks the lock twice when he goes out and when he turns in for the night, even after Alhaitham has already done it.

That’s the only pleasure he takes from this experience; Alhaitham has to follow the same restrictions that he put on Kaveh. It’s unfortunate that Alhaitham is as emotionally stunted as a frog and doesn’t express his discontent as jovially as Kaveh does.

He cooks two dinners for the ninety-third day in a row. One is a plate with two stuffed falafel sandwiches on pita bread, and the other is a bowl of warm soupe jo and a tossed salad on the side.To make his life easier he normally cooked them both the same meal, but he is in desperate need of his comfort food that Alhaitham happens to not like.

Since he woke up, a snake has coiled and constricted his lungs with an intensity he would be loath to forget. His hands shook all through the morning, and the only reason he dared leave the house was to pick up the ingredients for the soup he craved. His heart beat rapidly as he scanned the ingredients twice before putting them in his cart.

The only thing that had momentarily dampened his panic was the beautiful china bowl he saw on his way back home. Instead of the typical blue and white design, it was splashed with black and shades of orange that produced a vibrant sea of floating lanterns. And nevertheless, it was a handcraft by a woman who lit up with desperate hope when she caught Kaveh studying the bowl.

Of course Kaveh bought it.

He’s setting out the dishes as the door unlocks. A jolt of anxiety shoots up his throat even though he knows it’s Alhaitham. His roommate has come home at the same time every day for the past ninety-three days. While Alhaitham is wholly dedicated to keeping Sumeru afloat during her fragile transitional period — the evidence shows in the stacks of papers he brings into the house every evening — he will not stay in his office even a second longer than he has to. Kaveh is sure not even Lesser Lord Kusanali could hold him back.

“That better not be soup you’re serving me,” Alhaitham calls from the foyer. Kaveh rolls his eyes.

“Good afternoon to you, too.” He hears a rustle of papers, and then click of the door being locked. The papers are dropped unceremoniously somewhere in the living room, he’s guessing. Alhaitham appears a second later.

Alhaitham stares at the soup bowl for a moment before making his way to his side of the table. “When every bit of your salad is covered in cheese, it cancels out the healthiness.”

It’s the same argument they have whenever he makes salad to his liking. He prefers to eat healthy, but he hates the taste of leaves. So he douses it in cheese to cancel out the unfavorable texture and flavor. Whether or not this diminishes the “health value” of the salad has been in hot debate ever since they were students.

Kaveh gently pokes his spoon into the soup. It would taste heavenly on his tongue if it weren’t for the intense ill feeling he had in his throat. “You’re anxiety hasn’t eased,” Alhaitham comments in Kaveh’s silence. The scholar takes a bit of his sandwich and stares at Kaveh intently, waiting for a reply to the not-question.

“No. I thought I was worried about you, but honestly, I think it’s gotten worse since you’ve come home,” Kaveh mutters in between swallows. Alhaitham eats at a slower pace than Kaveh, and never once checks beforehand if the food has a toxin Kaveh hasn’t detected.

He remembers asking Alhaitham about that on the first day of their three-month-long hell. He dug into the meal Kaveh made without a moment’s hesitation. When he noticed Kaveh’s flabbergasted look, Alhaitham had the audacity to look confused himself.

“You’re not even going check that?” Kaveh asked, unable to hide his incredulous tone. “What if I missed something?”

Without missing a beat, Alhaitham responded in a neutral tone: “You are the most detail-oriented person I know, Kaveh. The only way this could be poisoned is if it was done by your hand.”

The architect stared back, wide-eyed and surprised more by the unimpressed expression Alhaitham held. “Do you trust me that much?”

“You wouldn’t have a glowing target on your back if I didn’t.” Alhaitham returned to his meal after that and refused to engage in more conversation on the subject.

Kaveh turned his words over and over in his mind for a few following weeks. It wasn’t that what he said was hard to understand, but more so the implications that it held. Actually, the day that Alhaitham told him, “My enemies will go through you to get to me,” had been when his entire world flipped upside down.

It implied Kaveh was the only person Alhaitham cared about enough for their actions to truly hurt him.

Kaveh watches Alhaitham eat now, wondering if he should bring the conversation up again. He wonders if the heat creeping through his body is from the prospect of talking about love with his roommate and closest friend.

Then he feels his body sear with fire in his veins and realizes his pounding heart isn’t from nerves.

His arms lock up first, and the spoon he was holding clatters uselessly to the table. Alhaitham looks up at him with furrowed eyebrows at first, and it isn’t until Kaveh takes a shuttering breath that panic overtakes his features.

Kaveh lets out a cry against the boiling of his skin. It feels like he’s being cooked from the inside, and he pressed his hands against his arms, then his chest and face. He digs his fingernails into his skin and squeezes his eyes shut against the pain. His dry heaves, feeling acid travel up his throat but ultimately stops before it reaches his mouth.

He gasps again, but the air only trickles into his lungs like a broken faucet. His heart pounds in protest of the lack of oxygen. He scratches at his throat and tries to speak, but everything that comes out is a garbled mess. He forces his eyes open to look at his soup, to somehow find what he missed, and coughs at the emotionless liquid.

If it weren’t for Alhaitham, he would’ve already torn out his throat by now. The fire in his veins keeps his fingers twitching, but his arms have been pulled away from his body, and Alhaitham’s horrified yet stern face glares back at him. “We have to go, now!” Alhaitham all but yells, and he hoists Kaveh to his feet. His bloodstream cycles through his legs and heels, leaving an untameable burning every time he steps forward. The door seems so far away, and he can’t breathe, and his muscles tighten all at once. His eyes go blurry with tears, and Alhaitham heaves them both out of the house as fast as he can.

He’s shouting, Kaveh knows. He’s screaming for help as he makes his way down the street. His throat is entirely clogged with backed-up acid, as his body tries despairingly to purge the poison from his body. He coughs, and it sends spikes driving into his chest and skull at the same time. Then he coughs again, and little bits of vomit manage to wretch their way out.

He can’t take in anything when he coughs like that. It’s expelling carbon dioxide from his lungs at a faster pace than he can feasibly replenish it with oxygen. His heart aches, and he feels his brain slow down as he drops unceremoniously onto the hard pavement.

What was poisoned? He doesn't know. How long would it take to die? Alhaitham leans over him and says: “Come on, Kaveh! You can’t lose this fight yet!” It’s sad and hysterical and everything that Alhaitham prides himself on controlling.

The pavement is warm, but not as hot as the fire that cracks his arteries and veins and starves the oxygen out of his heart. He starts to go cross-eyed, and even though he’s heaving and his chest keeps fighting to bring something into his lungs, the pounding in his head begins to slow.

“Stay awake! Everything….” Alhaitham’s voice fades in and out, and Kaveh struggles to keep his eyes on him. Darkness creeps in in blots, and the only thing he can hear is the squeaking of the lungs that are shriveling and dying in his body. “... you! Don’t… me!”

Kaveh doesn’t know what to think. He can’t, really, and instead chooses to focus on the way Alhaitham looks at him. Like Kaveh is the only person he loves. He’s never acted this way. Never caressed Kaveh’s head and pressed his forehead to his in such an intimate manner.

He tries to say something, but his throat gurgles, and nothing comes out. He wants to say that he loves Alhaitham. That he didn’t mean for this to happen.

Then there is someone else in front of him. Kaveh registers the change only because of how fast it happened. A man with comically large ears leans over him, his face scrunched up and close to Kaveh’s own. “... sorry… this.”

There is no warning. Fingers flash down into his mouth and down his throat in an instant and at the same time, a bee stings his arm. He wants to struggle, but he lies flat against the pavement with muscles that won’t comply with his body. His jaw screams at him and tries to lock up, but the fingers push so hard that it dislocates with a crack. It burns in an entirely different way than his boiling blood, and the pain on both fronts causes him to scream with air he doesn’t have.

He’s forcibly turned over on his stomach and with one painful slap on the back, vomit comes out of him in gushes. The fingers remain dutifully in his mouth and continue to push down even through the mess Kaveh makes all over them. His dislocated jaw aches as he hurls, but the air rushing into his lungs is enough relief that he can entirely ignore it.

But perhaps that’s more due to the fact that he immediately passes out. He wakes seconds later, disoriented and lying in a pool of his own vomit. The man from before hastily props Kaveh onto his side and wipes at his mouth and, much to his horror, nose. It must’ve started dripping out when he blacked out so his body could still release the remaining poison without needing the gag reflex.

Kaveh thinks he’s going to pass out again. His heart pounds in his chest, throat, and head all at once, and he’s gasping so hard that it threatens to tear his throat into pieces. For his own sake, he spits out what he can of the vomit he can still taste in his mouth. When the world sways again, he feels himself being crushed on either side of his body.

“Oh my God,” Tighnari breathes into his ear, and Kaveh startles at his voice. “Oh my God.”

Kaveh doesn’t say anything. He can’t. His blood is still burning, and his jaw shrieks at its dislocation. He can’t even lift his arms to hug Tighnari back. Instead, he settles for pressing his body as close to Tighnari’s as possible, even if he’s covered in puke and stomach acid. He needs Tighnari; needs the warmth and protection that he can provide.

Yet Alhaitham is missing. Kaveh roams the horrified crowd circling the area for his roommate, but he finds no one with gray hair and eyes that can penetrate a diamond. He claws for the ability to respond, but only failure greets him.

“He’s gone for water,” Tighnari says, even though Kaveh wasn’t able to ask, “so you can flush out the remnants of the poison still in your mouth. The only good thing about these fast-acting poisons is that they are easily treatable if they are caught in time.”

His voice is taut yet soothing, and Kaveh lets himself believe that response. He explains in that same tone how he happened to be in the right place at the right time; he heard Alhaitham’s screams for help and ran through the distressed citizens to get to Alhaitham as soon as possible. It’s just Kaveh’s luck that he always carries a poison antidote because people eat dangerous plants all the time. For Tighnari, it’s more inconvenient to not carry one.

The crowd parts easily to let Alhaitham in the wide circle they’ve created, and in his arms are three bottles and a cloth. He passes the to Tighnari who reluctantly lets go of Kaveh so he can help the architect swish the water in his mouth and drain out what he can. When Tighnari’s guiding hands — still covered in Kaveh’s saliva and vomit — press against his jaw, he cries out in pain no matter how hard he tries to hold it in.

It’s all too painful. He passes out for what he presumes is a few seconds when they finally finish. Alhaitham and Tighnari hoist Kaveh up to his feet and start dragging him away from their house and further into the city. “You’ll be spending a few nights in the hospital. What I gave you requires more doses, as well as direct withdrawal of the poison from your system.”

So it was a syringe that poked his shoulder, not a bee. His body was still too hot and boiling but was slowly receding. It may take days for him to feel normal again, if mostly due to phantom pains.

Alhaitham shifts his grip on Kaveh. He’s been uncharacteristically silent since Tighnari’s been there. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth is set in a firm line. Kaveh wants to apologize to him. Say that Alhaitham was wrong forever putting his trust in Kaveh. They both knew he was going to mess up eventually.

Kaveh doesn’t know how, but he has somehow made friends with people who are much too intuitive for their own good. Alhaitham turns his head at him, and his analyzing eyes lock into Kaveh’s as though he had heard his thoughts. Through the years, Kaveh has gotten quite good at telling Alhaitham’s emotions and expressions where no one else could.

Now, though, Alhaitham is unreadable. Not in the way everyone perceives him as; a stone-cold man who doesn’t show emotion, not even in microexpressions, but in the way that there is too much being shown all at once. His face is a stormcloud of crackling feelings, waiting for the right time to strike.

“It was in the bowl. It’s new, and because it’s not food, it can’t be injected with poison,” Alhaitham says, his voice strung with the same tension as his body. “It was made specially for you, Kaveh.”

Kaveh could see it, now. He didn’t check the bowl; why would he? It’s just as Alhaitham says: it’s not food, therefore it cannot be injected with anything. But poison can just as easily be rubbed onto a surface, and if it is modified, it can be absorbed into food while retaining all of its potency. Regardless, he wouldn’t have thought that woman to be part of such a scheme. She appeared innocent and desperate.

But that’s what she was going for.

Alhaitham continues, and his eyes blink back a watery shine Kaveh only sees once every two years. “They know your bleeding heart. It’s not your fault.”

Lightning breaks from his stormcloud, and it comes in the form of the crack in Alhaitham’s voice. It pitches up at your fault, and Kaveh can finally see the wretched despair on his face. When Alhaitham’s voice speaks again, it’s the worst sound Kaveh could’ve ever imagined.

“I love you, Kaveh. I wish this wasn’t the price you had to pay for it.”

And Kaveh can’t respond. It’s the most infuriating thing in the world. In his effort to say something back, his jaw screams and his body burns with poison. He doesn’t have the ability to say that he would pay whatever he needs to keep that love, and the irony of that is nearly too much for Kaveh to bear.

#whumptober2023 #ailesswhumptober2023 #whumptober fic #whumptober #kaveh x alhaitham #kaveh #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #fanfic #a03 fanfic #fanfiction #kavehtham #kavetham #alhaitham #one shot

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monstermoviedean · 5 months

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i had pita bread for dinner :') stressed and tired girlies make do. but im kinda jealous of ur pie tbh

omg i'm jealous of your pita bread! i love pita i should learn how to make it. the pie was leftover and honestly i had dinner leftovers but i was cranky and not hungry enough for a full meal so. Pie. it was the last piece of this cranberry-lime pie i made for my family :)

#i'm sorry you're stressed and tired i love you 💖💖💖

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lantur · 11 months

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Greece has been wonderful so far. I spent one afternoon and evening in Athens, seeing the Acropolis and going out for dinner. Highlights from 2 days on the island of Syros:

Taking a tour of a small confectionery that produces loukoumi, a traditional dessert flavored with rose, bergamot, or mastic (pine-y herbal flavor).

Swimming (a lot) in the Aegean Sea!! The water is crystal clear and a beautiful, vibrant blue. I’ve never swum in the ocean before. It was leagues better than swimming laps in the pool. It felt so calming and soothing to swim in the open sea, in the salt water. The beach I went to yesterday had no waves, so swimming felt easy.

Exploring the town of Ermoupolis on foot, visiting a gorgeous cathedral and spending some time there in reflection. I love going to religious sites - temples, cathedrals, etc. It gives me a sense of great peace and spiritual connection, and it’s one of my favorite things to do when traveling.

I also climbed roughly 8 billion stairs yesterday evening/night to get up to the medieval town of Ano Syros, near the top of the island. The stairs nearly killed me, but the views at the top, and the architecture of the town, was worth it.

The food has been so good, too. The ingredients taste so fresh. I’ve had grilled squid, sausages with fennel, stuffed grape leaves, and incredible Greek salads. And pizza! And the best pita bread and hummus.

I’m in Mykonos now and I’m really excited to visit the ruins on the island of Delos later today. :)

#lanturing

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quickhacked · 3 months

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What's something yummy you've cooked recently?! I'm out of ideas for dinner and looking for more!

HIII i've been cooking a lot of things lately yeas :^) here's some easy recipes i love a lot!!

chicken and rice

very basic and versatile recipe that you can't go wrong with :D i like making a little marinade for the chicken (diced chicken thighs or breasts, chicken breasts are easier to work with if you don't make chicken often), then cooking them until golden brown in a pan in some oil on medium-high. remove from the pan and use the same oil for some garlic (1 min), add in onion (4 mins) and bell pepper (2-3 mins) while on medium, add some more of the marinade you used and stir, then add the chicken back in and simmer on low for 1-3 mins

cook some rice in the meantime (use a rice cooker or microwave rice or boil some water, add a cube of vegetable stock and some salt, add rice in the pan, bring back to a boil then boil on low for 10 mins, drain instantly and stir regularly to keep it loose from the pot) then put the rice in a bowl with your chicken and veggies on top and some sesame seeds et voila, done :^) you can add more veggies if you'd like! i personally like adding some broccoli before tossing in the bell pepper

here's some of my favorite marinades, i don't really do precise measurements because i add it on vibes but the first ingredient is the one you add the most of!

olive oil, balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar, brown sugar, lemon juice, italian herbs, salt and pepper to taste

soy sauce, honey, rice vinegar, lemon juice, chili flakes, salt and pepper to taste, optional sambal if you have any

chili sauce, soy sauce, honey, paprika, salt and pepper to taste

barbecue sauce, ketchup, soy sauce, chili powder, salt and pepper to taste, optional hot sauce

olive oil, honey, garlic, balsamic vinegar, oregano, salt and pepper to taste

when adding a mix of any of these as sauce to your veggies and chicken and you feel it's not thick enough for a sauce, you can add some cornstarch or flour to thicken it :)

butter shrimp

this recipe is very very good and i love it. so so much. i highly recommend using gouda instead of parmesan because it just tastes better in my honest opinion but then again that may just be because i'm dutch LMAO

you can eat it with pasta but i don't like pasta so i usually have it with bread instead! you can make some garlic bread or get some flatbread or pitas to go with it :D

greek chicken

cook some diced chicken on medium-high seasoned with honey, salt and pepper until golden; 1-2 chicken breasts/thighs should be enough

use the same pan for the veggies; 3-5 cloves of garlic, 1 onion and a generous sprinkle of oregano, cook for 3 mins on medium-high

add 100-200g of baby spinach (depending on how hungry you are and if you want leftovers), 100-200g cherry tomatoes (halved) and optional some mixed olives (as many as your heart desires), toss for 1-2 mins

add anywhere between 500 and 750g of tomato sauce (you can also use passata but that will make it a lot more sour!) 2 teaspoons of white sugar and salt and pepper to taste, bring it to a simmer and cook for 5 mins stirring occasionally

stir in a generous amount of greek yogurt and diced feta (as much or as little as your heart desires), put the chicken back in and cook for 1-2 mins then turn off the heat

serve with pitas or flatbread

udon shrimp stir fry

cook a pack of shrimp seasoned with some salt and pepper and a dash of soy sauce, remove from pan and set aside

cook mixed veggies (stir fry veggies of any kind) in the same pan following the instructions on the packaging

add teriyaki sauce and udon noodles, stir to combine and cook for 3-5 mins on medium

add shrimp back in the pan and heat them through for another 1-2 mins on medium-low

dutch pancakes

mix together 300g flour, a generous pinch of salt, 2 eggs, 500ml milk, some vanilla extract and some cinnamon (you can do this with an electric mixer or by hand, either works, just try to get all the flour lumps outta there)

heat some butter in a pan on medium and use a soup spoon to pour the batter in; if you're wanting bacon pancakes: instead of heating butter, put two strips of thin bacon in the pan and wait for them to start curling up a bit, then pour the batter on top

when the pancake is mostly solid on top (you'll be able to see the edges dry first and then slowly move toward the center, you'll want to flip when the center is still a bit moist but not active liquid anymore) flip it and cook for another 1-2 mins

repeat until you're out of batter :) these amounts should get you about 8 pancakes depending on how big you make them

potato salad

boil some water, season generously with salt, add baby potatoes and cook for 15-20 mins until you can easily stick a fork in them

in the meantime, cook diced bacon in a pan with onion and some garlic until the bacon is crispy, take out of the pan and set aside

use that same pan to make a little sauce out of apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, dijon mustard, honey and salt and pepper and simmer for 1 min

cut the drained and cooled baby potatoes in half and put them in a bowl, pour the sauce over it and toss to coat then add bacon and onion

add some parsley and chives and toss

optionally serve with pork chops: season generously with salt and pepper on both sides then put in a pan with some oil, get them golden brown on both sides, remove from pan, add some soy sauce and a generous amount of honey and some garlic in the pan and let it simmer for 1 min then add the pork chops back in on high and turn them a few times to properly coat them in the sauce

shrimp wraps

find some pre-seasoned shrimp (either chili or garlic flavor, both work, garlic will result in milder heat levels) and cook them following packaging instructions, remove from pan and set aside

use the same pan for 1 onion, 2 bell peppers and 1 diced jalapeno pepper (remove seeds if you want it less spicy)

mix in some chili sauce, lemon juice and honey; season with salt and pepper to taste

put shrimp back in the mix

serve in tortilla wraps

those recipes should be fairly easy to follow and mostly use the same kind of ingredients so you can buy a whole bag of bell peppers and use them for several different things :D also highly recommend investing in a veggie cutter to save yourself energy and time if you have little to spare, i personally cut everything myself but i totally understand others might not have the spoons for that

as for all the sauces and stuff, you really just gotta practice to gain confidence in making it because there's no way i can explain measurements to you SHGJFDHGFD i just do whatever nowadays. don't be afraid to season things generously and as a general rule go easy on the vinegar specifically because that can most easily ruin the taste of something, keep smelling stuff to see if the sauce you're making is balanced or not!

if you have any leftovers, you can put those in a tupperware box of any kind and store them safely in the fridge! don't forget to eat it within the next couple of days or you'll have to throw it out, reheat it in a pan and make sure that the meat you put in is heated through well! as for the pancakes, you can put those on a plate and wrap in foil and leave them in the fridge for a few days as well, you can also eat those cold if you like :D

#asks #anon #resources #hope this helps!! feel free to ask for clarification if anything doesn't make sense :) <3

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leefi · 7 months

Text

TFTBN Read-through | Part 3: Chapters 22-34

I was flipping through the pages, looking for interesting parts, when a sheet of parchment suddenly came loose from another section much deeper into the book. Unlike the rest, the material looked new, probably only replicated in the last year or two.

Curious, I lifted it up, and folded it open. To my surprise, the text was dark red, and said--

YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER

DO NOT TRUST ANY WITHIN THE INNER CIRCLE

FIND THE ARCHIVE ON THE TOP FLOOR OF THE MAIN BUILDING

REMEMBER YOUR OATH ⬇️ SHES GONNA GET MURDEREDDDDDDD WOOHOOOOOOO SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP

actually I wonder if Theodoros chan’s gonna get murdered actually. Son of a high-ranking member, asked Su to go to his room last night in front of everyone, was walking around alone with Su and Bardiya and milf mentor. Su would be the prime suspect with only Ran to vouch for her.

He was a young man, though not resembling of the others in our class. He had ear length, light brown hair, a light-bronze complexion, and quite delicate-looking features... Yet they somehow didn't come across as immature. In fact, he was surprisingly good looking, to the point that there was something reminiscent of a statue in his appearance. ⬇️ LUKA???????? Oh my god this guy acts exactly like Luka too Su said he was looking at her funny...does he recognize her, but she doesn't recognize him? I know a luka when i SEE ONE. THAT BOY KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON. HE IS A LOOPER LIKE SU!!!

or maybe he's just silly idk!!! hehe

but why does he seem to remember/recognize her and she doesn't? does it have something to do with her request in the first chapter??? did she REQUEST TO FORGET??? how could u leave ur looping bestie like that wtf su that's so mean did he leave the note for her? he wasn't at the dinner!! maybe he slipped it into the book and knew she would read it then! hmmm but the note could have also been placed there long before they met and that wouldn't really explain the timestamp on when it was written...what was it 1-2 years ago? i guess not. omgggg iim so excited to see more of him i hope he doesnt die in five minutes ill be so sad forever

Falafel, pita bread with various stuffings, steak and egg porridge, cheese salad; high quality Ysaran food, all well prepared by Yantho, SWANA CUISINE SWEEPING THE NATION I still remember the shakshuka and lahmebajeen from ran and su’s lunch

I feel like kam has a crush on su and has no idea how to contextualize it beyond an academic rivalry — su is hopelessly in love with ran and completely unaware of the fact that she is — ran holds a dislike for su for some reason, but still cares for her. her feelings seem extremely complicated.

The ransu(? no names given but assuming) childhood scene on the beach omg…that was cute oh noooo 😭 ok they did get my ass with that one.

hmm idk if that was ransu because the other girl's personality was very different from ran's. but also this could have been long enough ago that ran's personality has drastically changed since then

Big brother is very good at his role! Sekhmet said. Unfortunately, he is also extremely stupid. He can only really think about the things he has been told to do. I have seen him try to think about other things, and it is slow and bad and embarrassing for everyone. ⬇️ Kindest younger sibling interaction

Ok here’s my death prediction list 1. Utsu (botched - she’s meant to be killed but someone dies in her place) 2. milf mentor 3. Theo 4. Another inner circle member/staff (probably a combination with 1+2) Regrettably I think kam is going to live forever

I’ve disagreed with kam on literally everything so far but especially this aversion she has towards solving a problem she won’t get to benefit from (“let us be the last”). She’s so…childish? It’s a very childish point of view.

this adherence to gender a lot of characters hold really surprises me...i figure this far out in the future everyone would be a lot more fluid!!! what's with this obsession with antiquity (@ the characters/setting not lurina)

What I also don’t understand is why humanity didn’t just clone from the original 10k then continue having children biologically (or like test tubeically. ykwim). Are 10k humans enough to avoid a genetic bottleneck? whats the minimum viable population size for humans I’m not a biologist

Ok according to one article the number is 98. That is too low. who said that. lets kill him Another says 14,000 ok if you average those two guys out you get 7k 🙄 they’re fine. assuming good genetic diversity from the source group you probably wouldn’t even need to monitor for inbreeding. Why are they doing this complicated shit and causing mental prolapse.

THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO THE POINT ABOUT THE CLONES TOOOOO CLEARLY THEY HAVE THE TECH TO MAKE VIABLE CLONES WITH A CLOSED & SAFE SOURCE SUPPLY WHY ARE YOU WORKING AGAINST BIOLOGY…UR EFFORTS WOULD BE BETTER SPENT DEVELOPING A WAY TO TRANSFER HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS FROM ONE BODY TO ANOTHER RATHER THAN MAINTAIN AN AGING BODY!!!!

Hmmm. Actually I wonder if Su’s grandpa had a similar idea. Considering the weird identity thing she has going on. Nothing to explicitly suggest this yet i think? just somethign to keep in mind considering he was voted off the polycule

I also wonder if that was related to the conversation regarding the Phoenix and the Dragon. maybe transfer of consciousness leads to loss of memory? But that wouldn’t make sense if the tech was perfect, everything would move over, leaving the old body a blank slate…what would that do to a brain, psychologically, seeing one’s former body in a dead state? also what would it do to an empty brain to suddenly be inhabited by foreign electrical synapses harboring thousands of memories preferences likes/dislikes etc. would it fight back/resist?

Im thinking back to those scratches on the wall in the kitchen. Obviously super freaky shit like 10 chapters ago but we had no context to it (we still don’t) so it was like whoops! There’s that. lol. Couple things: - did someone bake the missing chef into 🤔 a roast? - those tally marks may have been the missing chef’s and she was trapped in that room for years (thousands of marks, I think they said. Denoting days, maybe?) and then she died - But that doesn’t explain the distinct lack of skeleton in the room. Or in the roast - who would have it out for the chef - why - Hmmmm - You guys ever read that short story in high school english about the lady with the rack of lamb and the officers

Anyways that chef is definitely deads. In the kitchen? Probably not. In their tummies? Noooo (<- secretly hoping yes). Floating in the abandoned plane ocean? Yassss

Lurina is AMAZING at dropping really disturbing nuggets in the middle of a passage then distracting the characters/keeping things going. I just wish I was more engaged with the pacing :(

Good heavens," Kam exclaimed. "Are these guns?" They were, and in no small number. I could see at least fifteen rifles and ten pistols, and they weren't antiques. They looked like refractor weapons, the bronze still carrying the vivid sheen of recent production ⬇️ If this story turns into a COD lobby in the next 5 minutes im reading it forever

WTF DEAD CHEF SWEEP

Ok I have to put a bookmark on where I am in the story so far. Chapter 33! I will continue to read through it slowly but am done with the reactions for now :) bye byeeeeee

#tftbn #bro this story really got me thinking about how like. existence is horror 😔#because like.#horror is fundamentally about a lack of information -> you exist and will one day die ->#you lack information on the reasons or means for this occurrence ->#you are hardwired to protect your own existence at all costs ->#this is eventually an impossible task ->#the mind evolved to understand its own mortality but not its own existence ->#horror is fundamentally about a lack of information ->#ugh that was so annoying to type out and doesnt even mean anything. does anybody want to see my cat #woof

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dollsonmain · 11 months

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Random babbling

That lot of dolls with Jetta is on track to arrive tomorrow. It’s in Hagerstown today which is one stop away from our delivery hub.

The other Goodwill buys haven’t shipped, yet.

There’s a mystery package OFD that’s coming from where MiL lives so either she’s sent something for That Guy or Son and forgot to tell me. She usually tells me when there’s a package for Son so I can let her know when it’s arrived, so might be for That Guy. It was his birthday this past weekend.

Things have been disappearing lately.

The take out food containers I’d been reusing to work on dolls and ponies all just vanished at once. All of them. Poof. They’re the shallow, plastic ones with lids. One of the boys must have recycled the whole lot of them. Don’t like that. I used them a lot to hold things while working on things, keep them separate, keep them off the counter or touching other things I’m working on if it’s something gross like rusty tails, etc.

It’s frustrating to have something I use a lot suddenly gone.

Another thing is the cleaning cloths. That was a pack of 12 and I can locate about half as many, now.

However, I have caught myself throwing those in the trash without thinking a time or two, like I would a paper towel. I may have thrown them out and not realized.

I realized that I have That Guy’s credit score in my hands and that’s very weird. I could easily rack up his card pushing him into over-use (though his credit limit is really high so that would be rather difficult), or not pay the bills without saying anything and let it go to collections.

Not that I would do either of those things. It’s just weird that, in a situation and relationship where I’m very much cut off from money in such a way that I can’t stash any away in my savings or use it to buy what and from where I actually want (like dolls and stuff off of stores like Mandarake), I also have that kind of possible influence.

It seems illogical.

I barely ate this past week, and that’s very likely contributed to my hard crash over the weekend.

I did eventually get through the bag of apples other than two that I had to toss because they were prematurely gross. I ate all of the peppers. Ate the loaf of bread and 2 pieces from the bag of pitas. The boys ate a good deal of the pita chips I’d made. I know I ate 1 stove top and 1 microwave ramen at some point, and I think 2 TV dinners.

For a whole week, that’s not much food at all.

But also I’ve noticed things don’t smell or taste right again. The microwave ramen smelled like elephant poop, and lots of different things have smelled and tasted like play-doh. I wonder if I picked up covid again at that school meeting and am just not having many symptoms this time, or if it’s the same occasional Smell Wrong that I’d been experiencing since the first couple bouts of covid a few years back.

But it triggered a memory of having a similar kind of problem causing food aversion a long time ago and now I’m wondering if that bout of diagnosed anorexia was really a months-long struggle with an unrecognized viral infection.

Though I do still have the body dysmorphia (50 pounds ago I felt like I look the way I do now).

I’ve been inundated with makeup and hair videos on Instagram again, likely because I interact with doll faceups and styling videos.

It’s.... How to say....

I still find it uncomfortable that so many people feel obligated to go to such lengths to make themselves look different than they are.

Like, grooming is one thing. Being clean, you know? Putting some goop on your skin so it’s not itchy and cracking and you’re not picking up little infections. that kind of thing. Grooming.

But it’s so much of curly haired people straightening it, straight haired people curling it, wear a wig even though it’s itchy, put on those fake lashes, your nose is the wrong shape regardless of the shape it is so change it with makeup, do not dare to have uneven skintone...

I think that I am very lucky to be ok with how I look. Like, I don’t find myself attractive, but I also don’t feel a need to put on makeup or spend lots of time styling my hair into a shape it doesn’t want to be.

I found the haircut that suits my hair and it happens to be a wash-and-wear cut, too. I have lots of pimples and pick at them because they annoy me but don’t feel a need to cover them up.

Which has nothing to do with people that do their hair and makeup in a way that ISN’T meant to conform to “beauty norms” and do it to be more colorful and for fun.

I think I am lucky in that because so many people can’t feel content in their own skin.

(Though, going back to the body dsymorphia thing, I do feel a need to cover up my body because it feels like I’m doing the general public a disservice if I don’t, and that’s silly.)

Also thought it was funny that Volks released Tall Wolf Man BJD, and then Luts was like Oh? GIANT Cat Man BJD, then!!!!

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ducky380x · 10 months

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lunch is gf pita bread, 1/2 serving hummus, 56g turkey lunchmeat, 2 servings gf bbq chips and a diet squirt (my last one cus im cutting out soda again). i might try to have a super low cal dinner cus i already feel bad for not omading already :c maybe have nothing idk

#anorex14 #tw disordered eating #i wanna be weightless #th1n$po #ana rant #mealsp0 #small portions #tw ed diet #low calorie

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storyshark2005 · 1 year

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Fic Excerpt - Part IV of 'Been and Gone'

Dinner at Liam and Debbie's

Liam comes back downstairs in jeans and a soft black jumper that actually fits instead of hanging like a circus tent, and the dark colour deepens the watery blue of his eyes by fathoms. He’s freshly shaved and his hair is still damp. He looks good. Smells good, too, like soap and aftershave, and Noel’s probably had four glasses of wine already and should probably sit down.

Debbie’s got a picnic table set up outside with fairy lights hanging from the eaves of the house and the weeping trees. Little tea light candles make the table glow, reflected in the wine glasses, the sweating carafes of water, and a vase full of drooping lilac that she’d cut from the bushes budged up against the perimeter of the house.

Noel sits down at one corner of the table, so as not to be surrounded, and to have an easily accessible escape route if necessary. Liam plops down with his arm pressed right up against Noel’s.

“D’you mind?” Noel grimaces. “You’ve got about ten feet of space on the other side of you.”

“Don’t like me manspreading?” Liam’s eyes dance. They literally twinkle. Ugh.

“What the fuck does that mean? Just fucking give me a few inches—”

Yes, yes, he knows, it just sort of came out like that.

“I’ll give you more than a few inches, brother!” Liam hoots, eyes crinkling in delight. “The wine must’ve made you eager, you little slag—”

Noel elbows him in the side as hard as he can, and Liam shoves back and nearly sends Noel flying off the bench and into the hydrangea. And then he actually tries to tickle him, dig his fat sausagey little fingers into Noel’s stomach, which, Noel is fucking fifty-five years old. That’s about forty-five years too old for being tickled. “Fucking STOP—” Noel nearly elbows his wine glass and a plate of roasted carrots into a nearby hedge.

“LIAM!” Debbie’s voice cuts sharply across the lawn. She’s standing in the open doorway to the kitchen holding a platter of pita bread, wearing a stern look and a hand on her hip. “What did we talk about?”

Liam purses his lips together in a displeased little duck face. Just obnoxiously endearing. “We’re just messin’ about. Brother stuff.”

Debbie levels him with a lecture-heavy look, and the other girls spill out of the kitchen doorway carrying side dishes and another bottle of wine.

“What did you talk about?!” Noel leans close enough to stick his tongue in Liam’s ear. He nearly does.

Liam shoves him away and pouts a bit, all furrowed brow and huffy cheeks. “Nothin’.”

Noel gives him a poke in his soft sweatery middle. His face feels wine-warm and pleasantly tingly. He presses in close again, breathing words into Liam’s perfectly curved ear, enjoying the way his shoulder curls up like he’s trying to stop Noel from getting so close even though they both know that Liam loves it, loves the attention, that it’s like sugar water to a blooming rose.

“What’d she say?” he huffs. “‘Don’t overdo it’? ‘Don’t have too much fun’? ‘Please don’t snog your brother in front of my mates’?”

Liam shoves him back again, but he’s smiling now, laughing in that silent way where his mouth falls open a bit and he does the rest with his eyes, and Noel can read him like braille, feel the little patterned dips and bumps of pressure in the air between them: love love love you’re amazing I missed you love you make me laugh shine with me you and me yes yes yes.

#ficwip #wip wednesday #world that's been and gone #gcest #gallaghercest #Oasis RPF #fanfiction #fic excerpt #DON'T WORRY there will be MUCH MORE ANGST #but today we have #a bit of fluff for ya #there are...so many meals in this fic #A DINNER AND LUNCH AND DINNER AND ANOTHER DINNER #MORE coming soon!!#AND we get to meet Queen Katie G!!#say it with me DI-VORCE lets doooo itttt

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