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#wishing you happy writing :)
beforeimdeceased · 6 days
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i love ur fics sm!! its my bday today and i was wondering if u could do a drabble on fem reader riding ellies strap. i can just imagine ellie getting absolutely pussy drunk on the sight alone.
happy birthday beautiful angel!
you’re so right about her getting pussy drunk. she’d be in a daze, fucking drooling all over herself watching the way it slides in and out of your cunt, the slick coating on the strap plus the way you clench on it would drive her up a wall. hands gripping onto your waist, guiding your hips up and down and back and forth. letting out a low “atta girl.” that sounds like she choked back a moan to get it out.
and there’d definitely be moments where she bucks up into you just to hear you moan and watch your body fall into hers. hands gripping onto her shoulders for some sort of balance. barely being able to catch your breath because you feel so fucking good. and she lovesssss making you feel so fucking good. eyes low while she bites her lip.
“you look so pretty on top babe. why don’t you be a good girl and make a beautiful mess for me to clean up?”
all while her hand slips down to spread your slick all over your clit, rubbing teasing circles. pushing you closer to the edge.
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zepskies · 3 months
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As You Wish
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: When Dean agreed to watch your favorite movie with you, you didn’t think it’d come with live subtitles.
AN: Here’s a little something in honor of Dean’s birthday! If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, do yourself a favor. 🥰
Word Count: 600
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, and nothing but the fluff. (Established relationship.)
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“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” Dean says, right in time with the iconic swashbuckler on the screen, complete with his best approximation at a Spanish accent.
You giggle against his side, hard enough to rock both of you on the bed. When he agreed to watch your favorite movie with you, you didn’t think it’d come with live subtitles.
“Are you gonna quote the whole damn movie?” you ask.
Dean brandishes an imaginary sword with his fist held out.
“HELLO! My name is—”
Biting your lip, you cut him off short by playing dirty. You wrap your arm around his middle and dance your fingers across his ribs. He’d never admit it, but he’s got sensitive sides.
He flinches and laughs on reflex. “Hey, hey! That’s a foul move!”
His arm tightens around your waist while his other hand closes around your wrist. You try to grapple with him, your bare legs tangling with his pajama-clad ones, but you both know it’s a losing battle.
Dean gathers you tighter against his chest and traps your wandering hand.
Huffing another laugh, you relax again. His heart clips at a faster pace under your ear. Your hand smooths up his chest and finds its way up the back of his neck.
Dean can't help it. He lets out a contented hum when your nails give his scalp a little scratch.
For a moment, his attention drifts away from the movie and down to you. He spies the soft edge of your smile, feels your hair starting to itch against his arm, your soft curves under his hand, pressing against him.
You two don’t get these quiet days often, but he wants to make sure you get some rest. You, Sam, and Dean spent about three straight weeks in a row with back-to-back hunts, and the last one had really taken it out of you. So now, Dean’s satisfied to see you so relaxed. Happy, even.
Yeah. You really do seem to be as happy as he (secretly) feels.
Sometimes, he finds that part hard to believe. If you could want this with someone like him, then maybe…maybe he doesn’t screw up all the time.
Dean tunes back into the movie just in time for Buttercup to jump out of the window in her pretty white dress. She and Westley join Fezzik and Inigo on white horses, and the couple shares the kiss that left all the others behind.
Dean glances down at your face. He’s amused by the way you’re eating up all this sappy rom-com crap. Your eyes are shining with unshed tears. He ducks down to press a kiss to your forehead. 
“You just spring a leak over anything, don’t you?” he teases. You shove at his chest with a halfhearted hand.
“Only over the good stuff,” you retort.
He accepts that with a chuckle. When the credits start to roll down the screen, he reaches for the remote and searches for the episode you guys left off in Game of Thrones. You tap his chest.
“Hey, wanna go out to dinner tonight?” you ask. A warm smile plays on your lips. “Just you and me?”
Dean blinks. He doesn’t remember the last time you two went on an honest-to-God date. No time, no privacy, always something evil on your asses…
A decision made in his mind, Dean gives you a smile back. He brushes his thumb across your cheek.
“As you wish,” he says.
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AN: 😘 Hope you liked this one!
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Dean Winchester One-Shots
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Ko-Fi Me ☕
Dean W. Tag List:
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91
@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19
@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like
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uncanny-tranny · 10 months
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Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.
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zu-is-here · 1 year
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Naive souls ♪( ´▽`)
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botanautical · 11 months
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'We all yearn for the woods. That's why every fellow on this island wants to settle down near a tree - just one will do.'
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jemmo · 3 months
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
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drbtinglecannon · 9 months
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The thing driving me so insane about Loid and Yor communicating so openly is that this is how a couple in an actual relationship would address the problems they're having
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She's asking him to rely on her, saying that he doesn't need to put up appearances all the time, that she knows he's capable but she's here to help and wants to, that he doesn't need to be perfect.
They're in a fake marriage. Loid has repeatedly told her she doesn't have to do anything but be around for specific events, but Yor still genuinely took up the role of Anya's mom and has been actively working to be a good mother to her fake husband's daughter this entire time, and now she's gently pushing back on Loid about not helping him either.
They aren't in love yet, or at least aren't aware of any developing feelings, but Yor is still reaching out to Loid in a way that someone in a real committed relationship would to their partner. She doesn't need to!! She's completely in her right to not help him, to not care!! He has given her the explicit permission of it multiple times!! But she cares about him, Anya, and Bond, this little family they've created. She wants him to lean on her like she does on him
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odoraful · 27 days
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Somnium pt2
zayne finally meets with you again in his dreams, though he is unprepared to face the harsh truth
read part 1 🙇‍♀️ content: dawnbreaker!zayne x reader; a direct continuation from zayne’s anecdote 'still in dark' (spoiler warning); 2.2k words; angst :( reading bgm ♫ It is The Nature of Dreams to End (Julia)
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It took a few seconds for Zayne’s brain to register that he should reply to you. 
Stop staring with your mouth agape. Say something. 
The words were lodged in his throat.
You fidgeted with your hair, eyes turned downwards. “Excuse my manners. I should stop addressing you incorrectly and ask for your name.”
Zayne cringed internally. A great start — he now gave the impression that he was deliberately ignoring you for your supposed impoliteness. 
“No, please, it's alright.” The sentence tumbled out of him. “My name is Zayne.” His arms remained glued at his sides. 
“It's the same as his… everything is the same,” you murmured, shaking your head in disbelief. Your brow was in a deep furrow, as if you someone had given you some incalculable equation to solve. He could tell that a million questions were flooding your thoughts right now. 
“If it’s any consolation,” he tried his best to give a reassuring smile, but he felt his lips tremble as he lifted the corners of his mouth, “I also have questions about how we’ve come to meet.”
You raised your head, finally meeting his gaze. In all his dreams with you, he'd never seen such worry on your face. He felt a crushing urge to take you in his arms, smooth a hand over your hair, whisper in your ear that he was here for you, that he was here to protect you. Instead, he squeezed his fists tight.
“Then, should we go somewhere more comfortable and have a talk?” You offered, turning around to face the pavilion suspended on the river. You lifted a hand to shade your eyes. “The sun is too bright to be standing outside.” 
Zayne nodded. It would be too embarrassing for him to say that the golden sunlight targeting you was likely a product of his own subconscious. Moving to your side, the two of you headed towards the bridge leading to the pavilion. As he walked, Zayne relaxed his fists, feeling the sting in his palm from his own digging fingernails.
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Your eyes went wide with alarm. “Humans that slowly transform into wanderers? That’s horrifying.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, goosebumps forming on your skin.
Sitting now on the bench that lined the inside of the pavilion, the two of you conversed about your respective worlds. With embarrassment, he mentioned how he dreamt about you since he was 12. You laughed at how shy he was getting, as he turned his head away from yours, not wanting you to see the break in his coolness. When you spoke, he acted as a dutiful listener, despite having already extensively researched the fabled Linkon City. It felt surreal to hear your experience first hand. It made him feel less crazy to hear everything he learned was true. 
“And are there hunters to help control this? To keep everyone safe?” You asked. 
Zayne inhaled a long breath. He looked out past your shoulder at the shimmering river. He turned solemn, his eyes unfocused. 
“I don’t know of anybody in my world who has an evol, as you’ve called it, besides me.” 
He felt no pride in owning this power. It was a burden he shouldered since he was a child. Yet, he understood the gravity of the responsibility forced upon him. If he abandoned this role, what would become of his world? The cards he were dealt gave him a singular purpose in life. 
That was until you entered his life. 
You remained silent, digesting the information he had given and what it implied. Zayne felt acutely aware of every one of his senses. The rhythm of his breaths, the weight of his hands clasped in his lap, the stiffness in his posture. 
“You save people’s lives.”  His eyes shifting back to you, Zayne unexpectedly saw a wistful look on your face. “It reminds me a lot of my Zayne.”
This should have been the part where you condemned him, like everyone else in his world. Called him a monster, a killer, nothing but a story to scare children into behaving well. If he wasn’t mistaken, the faint smile on your face was one of admiration. Never had he seen himself as heroic. Those few words you spoke made him crumple. He placed his head in his hands. Not only that, you said it reminded you of your Zayne. 
He heard the rustle of your dress beside him as you sat closer to him. Your legs almost flush against his. If he leaned barely a millimetre to his right, your arms would touch. 
“I want to know,” he started, finding his voice again. “In the past, you never realised I was someone else. What changed in that last dream?”
Humming in thought, you tapped a finger on your chin. “I’m not too sure about it myself.” You began to chuckle sheepishly.  “I do have a working theory, but I would need to…” Your sentence trailed off. Zayne stared at you, confused. You seemed to shrink under his gaze. 
“Is it alright if I…” Biting your lip, you fidgeted with your fingers. “Touch you?” 
What kind of theory is this? Zayne could never guess your next move. Freely speaking your mind, acting on your first instinct, these were traits so foreign to him. Your unpredictability was something he loved and feared.
“Of- of course,” he blurted out, less composed than he would’ve liked to show. He prayed his cheeks didn’t betray him by turning bright pink. Turning his body towards you, he rested his hands on his thighs, waiting for what you would do. 
You reached a hand and gently cupped his cheek. 
Unable to contain his reaction, Zayne let out a shuddering breath at the contact as he leaned in. The casual affection that was so natural for you to show completely overwhelmed him. As you leaned in, your eyes slowly examined him, moving up and down his face. All Zayne could do was yield under your attention. Despite no words being exchanged, he felt more vulnerable to you than ever before. 
He grasped your hand, holding it against his face. You felt so real. How could his mind conjure something so tangible? The shape of your knuckles, the creases on your fingers, all of it was warm and alive under his cool touch. He was certain that if he touched the underside of your wrist, he would feel your steady pulse. 
“Zayne.” Your voice was a hesitant whisper. “You’re hurting me…” 
Caught up in exhilaration, Zayne didn’t notice how tight his grip had become. Your fingers were being crushed together by his. He immediately released his hold, cursing inwardly at himself. What was he thinking? Your Zayne wouldn’t have done that. He wouldn’t have been so aggressive, so overly emotional. 
“I remember now.” Feeling your breath graze his skin as you spoke, he fought off the urge to shiver. “I started to notice that there was something about your gaze…” Your eyes softened with sympathy. “There’s no warmth to it.”
Your hand trailed down his cheek to his neck. “And when I touch you.” Tingles followed wherever your fingers went. “You tense up everytime.” Emphasising your point, your hand rested on his shoulder, forcing him to relax his muscles. “Almost like you’re scared of me, somehow.”
No, this wasn’t how it was meant to go. He had expected you to say something trivial — his appearance was slightly off, or he had just forgotten to say or do something that was an obvious tell. These were easy fixes for him.
Zayne screwed his eyes shut, defenceless against your pity.
After all these dreams living in snippets as this doctor, this perfect version of himself, he still couldn’t get it right. No matter how well he could copy, from watching all those medical show episodes or tasting as many desserts as his barren world could offer, there were fundamental things about himself he couldn’t change.  
“I-I don’t understand.” He said, strained. He felt like a child again, terrified of making the wrong move. “I thought I did everything right.”
“You did!” You exclaimed. Bringing your other hand to his other shoulder, you gently squeezed them. “You treat me so kindly whenever we met, but my Zayne is the one back in my world, in Linkon.”
Your hands withdrew from his shoulders. “And in any case, this-” You gestured around, “- is just a dream. I might not even remember this exact conversation when I wake up. I don’t think I’m even real in this-”
“Don’t say that.” He snapped. 
His voice seemed to reverberate around the garden. The severity of his tone silenced you instantly. 
Sitting still was too restricting for him now. He ran a hand through his hair, needing to move around. He stood up, nausea swirling at the pit of his stomach. Rubbing his eyes with the edges of his hands, he saw stars in the vision. 
To hell with composure.
“I’ve known you for so, so long.” It was difficult to speak when every word constricted his throat. “Do not tell me that you’re not real because then everything I’ve worked towards would be for nothing.” 
You cocked your head, confused. “Everything you’ve worked towards?”
Sparing himself the shame, he stayed quiet. He wouldn’t tell you how he spent his entire life in a fruitless endeavour to become the person you loved. It was a shattering realisation he arrived at. He was nothing but an imposter, a poor imitation. He could never be your Zayne. Desperation bubbled rapidly within him. The pressure reached a tipping point. 
“You told me before that you’d always stay by my side" His tone wavered, struggling to keep stable between his quickened breaths. "Don’t leave me, please.” He pleaded, face contorting with agony. This loss would be more painful than any Abomination strike to his heart.
Your eyes were downcast, shoulders slumped. “Of course I can meet with you again, but I don’t think I can stay with you forever.” You wrapped your arms around yourself. “I’m so, so sorry, Zayne. It- it just doesn’t feel right for some reason.”
The floor of the pavilion swayed under his feet. The tranquillity of the garden felt more like a mockery now than a solace. Why did you have to see through him? Could he have prevented this from happening? Seized by his own racing thoughts, he didn’t even detect you moving towards him. You encircled his waist with your arms and he crumpled into the hug instinctually. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. Nobody would be there to comfort him when he woke up. He’d share his misery with only the birds that nested at his window in the mornings. So, he savoured the feeling of your hand rubbing his back soothingly, letting your warmth consume him.
”Perhaps there’s an equivalent version of me in your world.” He could just hear your voice over the thumping heartbeat in his ears. “If there’s me and my Zayne in Linkon, then shouldn’t there also be someone for you?”  
A version of you? He couldn’t begin to process what you were saying. No one could replace you, it was a ridiculous suggestion. How easily you would brush him aside like this.
He dared to look at your face once more. There was no contempt in your expression like he thought there would be. There was genuine care in your eyes. Of course, you were always the hopeful one. 
“It’s not too late for you to find out who you truly are, Zayne.”
That was the last thing he heard before he was abruptly pulled from you. 
Dreams seldom have satisfying endings to them — bouncing from one scene to the next, blurring beginning, middle, end, and finishing far too soon. And so, like the snapping of thread, he was flung back into the waking world. 
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When Zayne awoke from previous dreams, he’d always feel at peace. However, this time he jolted awake, gasping for air. Taking in deep breaths to steady himself, he saw the blankets had been kicked aside onto the floor. Sweat slicked the back of his shirt and beaded down the side of his head. 
Zayne sat up against the bed head, letting his head roll to the side to gaze out the window. The sun was just beginning to rise, the landscape outside diffused by pale blue light. A bird flew up to the sill, hopping curiously on the ledge. It then settled down, legs disappearing into its feathery body. 
He opened the drawer of his bedside table and wearily reached for his journal and pen. With a heavy heart, he scrawled down everything he could recall about the dream. Where he was, what you wore, what you said. The occasional lilting chirp from the bird cut through his pondering.
“Another version of me.”
Could there be someone like you in his world? Someone who would want to spend time with him? He’d never thought to talk to anyone else, he only ever needed you. 
He finished his final sentence, the writing almost unintelligible.
“Who you truly are.” 
When he wasn’t chasing down the person in his head, when he wasn’t trying to be someone else, who was he, truly? 
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a/n: thank you for reaching the end xx 🥹 you've hit the surprise author note! i'm putting it here this time cuz i didn't want to detract from the main story with all my yapping at the start! i thought the bgm had a title fitting for my interpretation of dawnbreaker zayne's arc, and it does have the appropriate melancholic vibe to it :') this was my first time writing something longer and angst-ier, so apologies if it reads awkwardly D: i will continue honing my writing! i wish you a lovely day or night <3
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amethysts-prompts · 1 year
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Prompt #226
“What are you doing here?”
Hero shrugged. “Anxious restlessness. Figured I’d crash your place- give myself a distraction.”
“And what? You just assumed I’d be awake at the same time, doing God knows what?”
“Well, yeah. You’re a villain and you’ve only trauma dumped on me every time we’ve fought. I didn’t assume. I knew you would be awake.”
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willowser · 1 year
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katsuki jumps, startlingly, when you rub a hand up his back.
he's leaned too far down, bent over the counter at an angle that will give him an ache he'll complain about later, and his head whips up as you come to stand beside him. an e-mail on his phone is what previously had his full attention, but now he looks at you, eyes softening as you lean into his shoulder.
he's never been a very touchy guy. even after a year into your relationship, it's most often you reaching for his hand as you walk down the street; you pressing a kiss into his cheek while watching a movie on the couch; you running a hand through his hair as his breath steadies out beside you in bed.
it's not something you really complain about. you know how he is, knew before anything developed between the two of you, and you can't say it's a deal-breaker. there's little you know about his previous relationships or if he even had any, but you have the painful-gut feeling that affection just isn't something he's used to.
you press a smile into the sleeve of his shirt and his spine relaxes under your hand, finds that awful curve again. he watches you like he's waiting for something, tracing the tender details of your face.
"love you," you say, because do and you want to voice it aloud, put it into his mind even though you know he knows. as expected, his lips flatten into a wavering little line, shy suddenly, and your teeth wet the fabric of his shirt when you smile.
all you get is a little grunt in response and he dips his chin down in a wordless nod, accepting your lovey-dovey assault. it makes him feel a little helpless, you know, but you bring up an arm to wrap around him as he turns back to his phone, ears pink.
katsuki straightens with a dull pop!, stretching his arms up and allowing you to shuffle closer, so that your head is resting on his chest. you press your ear to it and wait, eyes closed, until the heavy promise of his heartbeat echoes like a drum in your ear. it's loud, and after a moment, your own falls into sync, right where it belongs.
"'s'wrong?"
"hm?" you glance up at him, the frown on his pink face, before breathing in the clean scent of his laundry soap. your laundry soap. and then you shake your head. "nothin'. just missed you."
"been home all day."
"i know," you sigh, letting your eyes fall shut again. the sound of his phone locking clicks and you can feel the slight down-slide of his sweatpants when he pockets it. "sometimes i miss you even though you're right here."
you expect — something; another grunt or laugh through his nose, a raspy little noise that voices his confusion. things like this can be hard for him; you know how he is, knew before anything ever developed between the two of you — but you don't think it makes him any less deserving.
katsuki steps back from you a little, and you feel the hesitant rise of his arm before you feel it. his hand comes up to your face — pink and scarred in your peripheral vision — and he tilts your head up, waits until you open your eyes.
when you do, it looks as if a million things are running through his head. his poker-face is good, it has to be, but you can see little bits of his vulnerability shining through. you wonder how long it's been since he showed it to anybody. he almost looks sad.
katsuki squeezes your cheeks until your lips pucker, and his frown deepens when you laugh. "y're so...damn weird."
that's along the lines of what you were anticipating: one of his teasing little insults, warm with a fire he's still learning how to kindle. you don't get the chance to say anything before he's kissing you, eyes shut tight, lashes brushing against your own.
you expect something soft, because affection is a fickle thing, from him — but his hand never falls from your face and his tongue is sliding with yours suddenly, a heated gesture that throws your heart out of whack. you let him kiss you as deeply as he can, until your back arches painfully backward over the counter as he leans into you.
when he pulls away, his lips are a little swollen and his cheeks are burning, as he presses one into yours. "i—jus'—" katsuki tries and then abandons it, a hand curling into the material of your shirt. "i get it." he murmurs, there, into the heated skin of your face, heart beating in time with yours.
things like this are hard with him — but he makes them so, so worth it.
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doverstar · 28 days
Text
actually I love Tentoo and he is the Doctor and it was the only ending for Rose that worked and it is a huge gift to be able to have the man she loves grow old with her, they were always heading for that, y'all be quiet. I 100% understand the angst but it's okay, they're okay, good ending-
#did you want her to...not end up with the doctor?#she ended up with the doctor. she ended up with the doctor and they get to AGE together#they get to have a real honest relationship the way they both always genuinely wanted#it's hard that the full time lord version has to carry on without her but that is the way that character's story ALWAYS goes#the doctor does not get to keep ANYONE. it would be a different show if he did#meanwhile there is a version of that same face of his - the one that was MADE for love? particularly born out of love for ROSE? the one 1/2#2/2 that always wanted a FAMILY? and stability? and a normal life? the tenth doctor longed for that specifically because of rose#now he gets to have it AND be part-human so he doesn't have to watch her get old. he gets old WITH HER#and they're canonically growing their own Tardis so you don't even have to be sad that they're not adventuring in time and space as usual#because they ARE. it's the kindest ending for either character. and if the full time lord hadn't left without either of them-#-he would have had to lose them eventually. lose Rose because she's human? hello? painful? but instead he was selfless and left her-#-with a proper happy ending. which she CHOSE to have so you can't be like “he tricked her!” she chose to kiss one of them and it was Tentoo#they are the same man. Rose won in this scenario.#and I GET IT I am with Billie Piper I think it will always feel a little off that she was left with Tentoo and not the full time lord#I understand. it still makes me a little sad. but I know it's a good ending writing-wise. really the ONLY ending.#yes I know about the popular idea of Immortal!Rose or Bad Wolf Rose or whatever and that's cute and all BUT - it's not a GOOD thing#it's not PREFERABLE to be immortal. Rose doesn't want to live forever. she wants to be with the man she LOVES forever.#she doesn't want to not die or adventure for all time. she wants to be there to hold his hand. and when Tentoo is born she gets THAT!#Immortal!Rose is tragic. the Doctor would not wish the burden of immortality on the woman he loves HELLO#anyway#I ship timepetals. that includes Tentoo/Rose. because he is the doctor#so there#I have more thoughts on Tentoo specifically but I digress#maybe if provoked in an Ask or something idk#doctorrose#timepetals#opinion piece#tenrose#tentoo#handy
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cerise-on-top · 27 days
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Can I request the fluff alphabet for Nikolai or Soap? So happy to hear you’re doing well, always look forward to your writing!
Hey there! Of course you can! And thank you! Glad to hear you enjoy my writing!
Fluff Alphabet for Soap
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Soap definitely loves being out and about, so he’d love nothing more than to go outside with you and just do things there. It doesn’t even need to be anything terrific like hiking on top of a mountain, a walk in the park suffices for him as well. As long as he gets to spend time with you he’s all game. Though, beware: He will likely be touching you in some way the entire time. If it’s raining outside or the weather is bad otherwise then he’ll opt for cuddling on the bed or couch with you. He’s a touchy guy, the only time he’ll let up is when you need to use the bathroom. But even then he’ll whine to no end.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
He knows that he can’t be home for too long, so he definitely admires your patience with him. It takes quite a lot of it to date a soldier. Another thing he admires about you would be your loyalty and trust in him. He’s abroad for months at a time, but you don’t question his intentions, believing that he’ll stay with you. And that he will. Soap wouldn’t betray that trust. You don’t message him every time you’re being insecure about your relationship because there’s no need to be. Soap makes sure you feel loved and that you’re the only one.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
He’d go about it in the same way he’d prefer to be handled during tough times. He, too, can be a patient man and will listen to your every woe, should you want to tell him about it. Although he may not have the best advice for everything, he’ll certainly try. If you want your favorite dish, he’ll cook it for you. If you just want to cry on his shoulder, he’ll let you while he holds you.
If you’re having a panic attack then he’d try to calm you down immediately, getting you away from whatever might be causing you even more distress. He’s learned a thing or two about calming down, so he’d just talk to you, distracting you from it all until you feel better. This guy has plenty of stories to tell, funny ones too. He’ll calmly talk to you, trying to not have his accent be as thick as it usually may be either so you can understand him.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
He’s a more traditional man, so I can see him wanting to get married to you eventually. He dreams of the day he gets down on one knee, pulling out the little box with the ring in it and asking you the big question. Afterwards he’d love to have a dog with you. A rather big one as well, like a St. Bernard or a German Shepherd. Soap loves picturing the kind of future where his dog will lie on top of you while you try to get it off and complain to him about him taking pictures of it. He may love being a soldier, but he adores you and would do anything for you.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
He believes himself to be more dominant than he actually is. Sure, he can take on the role of being the more dominant person among the two of you, but he will step back as well if he needs to, or wants to. When it comes to your well-being, though, that’s when he’ll get very aggressive. Someone sleazebag is flirting with you? Soap’s won against plenty of people, so this fucker will be no exception. However, he can appreciate a suggestion you have made as well and will follow directions. Sometimes he does like letting you take the reigns as well, though.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
It’s not very hard to annoy him, even if he can hold himself back usually. But when it all gets too much he’ll get a bit louder for a moment before going quiet. He’ll be passive aggressive the entire time, even if he won’t outright insult you. He knows when emotions are appropriate, so he can control them 80% of the time. Won’t insult you, won’t yell at you either, but he will hiss at you. Give him some time to cool down and think it all over and he’ll forgive and forget. If he’s in the wrong he’ll apologize, if you’re in the wrong he won’t forget as easily without an apology, but he’ll forgive.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Yes, he’s very aware of what you’re doing for him. It’s not a given that someone as wonderful as you stays with him, even less so that you do what you do for him. He’s very grateful and will show such as well. Gives you chocolates and flowers, will take you on dates and outings, will do whatever he can to pay those favors back as well. He loves you and you should know that, so he will cling to you like a koala. Either that or he’ll help you with the chores when he’s not as tired anymore after deployment. Either way, you won’t be alone with doing the chores while he’s around.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
There’s plenty of things he doesn’t tell you, actually. Sure, there are some confidential missions he can’t tell you about, so there’s always that. However, he still does have some pride, so he won’t always tell you when he’s in pain either. He can take it like a man, no need to bother you with that sort of thing. He’s also pretty good at hiding his injuries and how much pain he’s in, if it isn’t too overwhelming. But other than that he’s a pretty honest guy and will tell you just about anything. You deserve to know everything about him, but likewise he expects you to be honest and open with him as well. A relationship can only truly prosper with communication.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
I think you would likely be able to help him with calming down a bit and finding a purpose in life that wasn’t being a soldier. He’s always been an active guy with a knack for chemistry and weaponry, so he wanted to put that knowledge to good use. However, ever since he’s gotten with you he realized that not everything needs to be about work or war. He can definitely appreciate the smaller things with you, like receiving a flower crown from you. You make his life more worthwhile and he finally has something to look forward to that isn’t just work. He has someone to come home to, and that’s worth a lot in his eyes.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
It depends on the person stealing your attention. If it’s, say, Ghost, then he doesn’t mind as much since he knows Ghost has no ill intentions with you. But if it’s some random person then he definitely gets jealous if you spend too much time with them. Starts brooding and getting closer to you, wrapping an arm around you, maybe even kissing your cheek while he’s at it. If it was appropriate, he would growl at the person as well, trying to get them to go away. You’re his and no one else’s. Doesn’t apologize for his behavior either, if he’s jealous then he’s jealous, and that’s that. You’re more than welcome to act the same way with him as well, by the way.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
He’s not too bad at kissing. Soap has had a few high school sweethearts, so he’s definitely kissed before and takes it easy. He wasn’t particularly stressed out about your first kiss together either and just let it happen. Although he was being cheesy and asked you to close his eyes before he kissed you. It was a gentle kiss since he wasn’t too sure if you truly liked him the way he likes you and he didn’t want to make you too uncomfortable. But when you told him you felt the same way he quickly gave you another kiss.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
I don’t think he’d make too much of a fuss about it. He’d take you to a nice park on a nice day, maybe have a picnic with you and then casually ask you if you wanted to be a thing together. It’s not too bad if you say no, even if he’d be crushed, but he could just play it off and continue the picnic and be friends with you. Would love to watch the clouds go by while lying on the blanket with you. That’s also when he might confess to you.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Yes, he definitely wants to get married. He wants nothing more than to have a spouse to come home to. With you wearing an apron, asking him if he wants dinner, a bath or you first. It’s cliched, but he’d melt if you ever called him honey. I think he’d think his proposal through, though. It’s important to him, but he still wants the day to be fun, so he might take you to an amusement park and propose to you on the ferris wheel, sincerely hoping it stops while you’re on top and can view the entire city. The marriage would be sweet, he’d be even more doting on you. Would proudly introduce you as his spouse. 
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Although they’d start out as a joke where he would mimic those embarrassingly sweet couples calling each other embarrassingly sweet things, he’d eventually take a liking to things such as pumpkin, pudding, or cutie pie. Naturally, there’s also things like babe and baby. If he can reference a stupid meme, he will. You’re also his silly little rabbit, no matter how much you dislike that nickname.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It’s somewhat obvious to others. Soap is much more inclined to gravitate towards you and try to spend as much time with you as possible. He likely also won’t leave you alone unless you ask him to. He becomes much more chatty with you and brags about his accomplishments as well. Might even flex for you, even if it’s cringe. You need to realize how strong and awesome he is. Also does you a lot of favors, you don’t need to repay him. See? Isn’t he just the ideal guy? Isn’t he just so dateable?
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
If it was up to him either one of you would be holding the other at any point in time. He’s not afraid to show the world you’re a thing, he will brag about you to everyone willing to listen. Even if he’s being called embarrassing, he’ll just keep on going. The world needs to know just how lovely you are, that you’re the best partner anyone could have ever asked for. Kisses you in public, hugs you in public, cuddles you in public. If you’re comfortable with it.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
He’s a very observant guy, so he’ll almost always know what’s up just by watching you for a bit. You’re happy? You’re sad? You’re mad? Don’t worry, he can pretty accurately gauge your emotional well-being just by watching you for a bit. Does what he needs to do to either cheer you up or keep you happy afterwards.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
He’s somewhere in the middle. While he may not be the most romantic person out there, he does dream of kissing you under the moonlight and dance with you then and there as well. When it comes to making you happy he’d do just about anything. You want a cat? You want some cuddles? You want him to kill that guy for you? Just ask for it, you’ll receive whatever you want, you’re his partner and therefore very important to him. He tries to get a bit more creative with what he gifts you and actively searches for things online. But usually he just settles for showing you Scotland. His country is important to him as well, so he hopes you can appreciate it as much as he appreciates you. He means well, he’s just very easily excited about it.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Oh, definitely. It doesn’t matter what your goal may be, he’ll do what he can to help you achieve it. You wanna work out? He’ll go to the gym with you. You wanna get better mentally? He’s there, cheering you on every step of the way. You wanna be independent? He has connections, you’ll get your dream job and dream pay, don’t even worry about it. As long as you let him help you, he will. And even if you refuse his help he will somehow weasel himself in anyway and help you out, even if you won’t ever know about it.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
Although repetition can be a nice thing, he does prefer having something new every once in a while. Sometimes he wants to see another country with you, sometimes he wants to try new foods with you, sometimes he just wants to watch a new movie with you. It doesn’t always need to be the most exciting thing with you, even the small things suffice, but he needs something new. The same routine every time bores him to death and annoys him as well. Again, something small will suffice for some time, but then it’s definitely time for a vacation away from it all.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
He likes to think he knows you quite well by now. He can remember things very well too, so if you ever mention a fun fact about yourself, chances are he’ll remember it forever. If you ever want something, no matter how small it is, Soap will remember and you’ll get it eventually. He’s also an empathetic person. He sees you and feels what you’re feeling, at least to some degree. Probably not with the same intensity that you do, but he tries to understand you. 
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
His relationship with you is very important to him, as important as his friendship with Ghost, Gaz and Price. The four of you are the most important people in his life, along with his family, and he’d do anything to keep you safe and happy. He does hope that you can get along with the other three as well, though.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Has probably tried to serenade you before. His voice is by no means bad, but it’s his accent that makes you giggle. He does lay it on extra thick as well when singing I’m Gonna Be just to hear you laugh a bit. He mostly just sings to you to hear your giggles and see you smile, but he does like singing and whistling to himself when he’s alone.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Yes. Soap loves nothing more than holding you close whenever he can, especially if you haven’t seen each other in months. When he’s tired you can be certain he’ll be all over you the entire time until he falls asleep. And even then he has an iron grip on you so you won’t escape him. He’s a human furnace as well, so while it may be pleasant in winter, it’s hell in summer. But that’s the worst part about him, he doesn’t mind being sweaty as long as he gets to cuddle you. He’s used to being sweaty anyway, he can just shower it off, but he needs to hold you or else he’ll combust.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
Whenever he can, he’ll text or call you. He knows it’s not always the time for such a thing, but he’ll do it anyway. Sometimes, he’ll call you just to hear your voice and fall asleep to it. He imagines himself doing all the domestic things to you he can’t do in the moment, it helps him fall asleep when his heart is aching for you yet again. Sometimes, when he’s just on base and not necessarily being deployed, he’ll steal a plushie from you and take it with him, cuddling it in your stead at night. It does help him sleep better.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Soap would literally kill and die for you. He has this sense of camaraderie to him, and that extends to you as well. He’d fight for you, he’d take a severe hit for you. Anything to make sure you’re alright . Soap is loyal to a fault, so even just someone looking at you the wrong way warrants a fight, in his eyes. You’d need to remind him that none of this is necessary, that you’ll be alright and then he’ll calm down. But don’t you ever think that this man won’t blow up entire buildings just to watch you smile. He’ll make his own explosives as well, if he needs to.
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vacantgodling · 10 months
Text
✨preferences should not be standards for writing advice✨
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uncanny-tranny · 4 months
Text
I love giving advice, apparently, so if you are a newly pierced person or are planning on being pierced, here are some of the things I found helpful, as somebody who isn't a professional piercer but has had six plus piercings on my face and body, and multiple ear piercings (which I don't count, since I DIY'd them):
Normal bath towels are your enemy, proceed with caution after bathing. NEVER wipe moisture away from a fresh piercing, always pat it dry
You will hit a new piercing and it will hurt. This is inevitable, just know that you likely haven't destroyed it. Feel free to cry, though, it hurts like hell.
If your piercer gives you instructions, heed them. If you're on restrictions, please take it as seriously as possible
When you're going in for a piercing, please eat or drink something - at least what constitutes as a snack for your body. It really helps
If you're getting an oral piercing, make sure you size down after the healing period - I hadn't sized down for my last oral piercing when I first had the chance, and it was... so annoying to have too-large of jewelry
Not all jewelry is made equally. Do your research on materials, threading, and sizing. I've found that titanium jewelry is really nice for me, and I like it, but that isn't the only option. Make sure you think about your body and its needs and preferences
Close your eyes while being pierced (I found this really helps me)
Don't over-clean a new piercing, twice per day is usually a good place to start
The completed healing period is a very average suggestion - you may heal slower or faster. Try to adhere to that suggestion, though, especially if you do not feel you're healed enough
Personally, I have found that I am completely healed when my piercing feels like just another part of my body, even when it is touched. When my piercings start to feel as though they are foreign when they never do before, I know I likely need to clean them
While I have DIY'd piercings, I personally do not recommend it, especially if you are either not using sterilized equipment, or are piercing a very dangerous place (like the tongue). If you are absolutely positive about committing to the DIY mindset, please try to do due diligence in research at least
Tip your piercer. Body mods are a luxury service, and it takes years to even become a piercer, much less to be proficient at it. Tip your piercer, ESPECIALLY if their prices feel too good to be true - they likely are. Unless you are directed otherwise by your piercer, just assume that you will be tipping them for their services and budget accordingly
Make sure you understand how your piercer wants you to take care of your piercing, and ask questions. There is no question too "dumb"
If you are getting a body part pierced you are insecure about, realize your piercer has most likely seen HUNDREDS of different body parts of various sizes, shapes, and oddities. Your body is not uniquely bad, nor would a good piercer make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable with your body. If they do, however, DO NOT go through with the piercing. You should feel safe being pierced by somebody, and, indeed, that is the bare minimum.
If you use saline wash to clean piercings, you can DIY it. You will go through NeilMed like no other, and with it being $5USD a bottle, that price can rack up quickly. Make sure you use distilled water and non-iodized salt, though
If your piercing is infected, please don't be too ashamed to seek help. It's in your best interest to make sure you don't get ill or your site gets nasty ("nasty" as in painful)
These are just some of the things I've learned being a pierced person! My piercings are something I absolutely needed, and I do not for a minute regret having them. I want that same happiness to befall you, and that happens when you are able to understand a bit more what goes into piercings. You are, essentially, getting a new body part installed by a pro, and so I don't want you to not be ready for that.
Again, I am not a professional piercer, but am rather a body piercing enthusiast with many different types of piercings. I don't have every piercing, though, so please look at this critically for the piercing(s) that you want or have. At least, treat this like a soft suggestion or ways to help you brainstorm what you will find helpful.
More tips are obviously welcomed, especially if you yourself have more insight or expertise. Good luck to every pierced person or future pierced person reading this💛
#body modification#body mods#piercings#body piercing#long post#honestly i love having a professional relationship with my piercer and i feel so happy to be pierced by her#i think the client and piercer relationship is a very important aspect of getting a piercing#and i don't think people talk about that part much. you should feel SAFE being around your piercer#they are literally creating a new hole in your body with a needle. that is a very vulnerable position to be in#but i'm honestly shocked at how cheap my piercer is...#...so my last piercing was only $50USD and that included the (nice) jewelry. i feel that in that cast tipping 60% was worth it...#...i know that can rack up the cost of the piercing but especially if you LIKE your piercer (like i do) - try being as generous as possible#i personally LOVE tipping my piercer and it's the best way i can show her that i LOVE her work even when i tell her#love having a personal blog that i can be autistic about piercings!!!!! I LOVE THIS ANCIENT TRADITIONNNN#one of my profs let us write about anything as long as it was an essay and i went Insane writing about historical piercing practices#LOVE ALL TYPES OF PIERCINGS especially ones that are used to 'scare' outsiders <3#when i was a kid they used to tell us about the Mystical African Tribes that STRETCHED THEIR LIPS (scary!!!!)...#...if it isn't obvious i hate that the lip plate especially practiced by the Mursi and many others have been used for frankly rascist ideas#i brought up the lip thing because i learned a lot about iirc the Mursi practice of lip plating and it's given me more appreciation for it!!#it's ENDLESSLY fascinating and i wish i hadn't been shown the negative bias against them first
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osamusriceballs · 1 year
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More than friends
Osamu Miya x fem! Reader
Warnings: NSFW, dry humping, alcohol
Words: ~3.7 k
About: A night drinking with Atsumu and Osamu leads to an unexpected ending~
_______________________
“C’mn, just do it.“
“Shut it, Tsumu. I’m not gonna do it.“
You silently watch Atsumu laughing even louder than before and Osamu rolling his eyes with a huff. The three of you are seated comfortably in the spacious living room of the twins, a few empty bottles of beer between you, as well as a clear bottle of strong alcohol.
“You’re not doing the dare? Not even telling y/n what it was?“
“No, I’m not. Just keep quiet for once, will ya?“
Atsumu’s smug grin doesn’t falter for a second when he downs another shot and reluctantly gets on his feet. Osamu scoffs at his childish behavior and ignores his existence completely.
“I’m gonna go to bed. Got a practice scheduled early with Bokkun tomorrow. See ya.“
Atsumu waves in your direction and smacks Osamu’s shoulder before he abruptly leaves, his shoulders slightly swaying with each drunken step that he takes before you finally hear the door to his room closing. You doubt that he will make it to practice early tomorrow, and you take a mental note to send a text to Bokuto, warning him that he shouldn’t wait for the blonde setter.
However, right now you’re painfully aware of the situation that you now find yourself in. Your hand tightens around the bottle of beer that you’re holding, your gaze now flickering between the table and Osamu, quickly taking in his appearance. His hair is messy from the way he‘s been running through it ever since you three gathered to drink, his broad shoulders almost threaten to rip the tight black dress shirt that clings to his body, and his spread legs almost invite you to sit in between them. He doesn’t look at you either, his gaze absently focusing the wall behind you, and you feel the weird atmosphere like a heavy weight on your shoulders.
You clear your throat and try to overcome this moment of awkwardness, but it doesn’t seem to work.
Talking with Atsumu is easy. He’s always rambling about something, laughing, or talking about a certain Omi-omi that seems to annoy him very much.
Talking with Osamu on the other hand… He makes you nervous. He makes you blush, he makes your heart flutter, he makes you wonder about more.
“So… what’s the big deal? Why wouldn’t you do the dare?“
He groans and his eyes focus on you again. There is something about his gaze that never fails to send a shiver down your spine. He often has sleepy and heavy-lidded eyes, but when he directly looks at you and puts all of his focus on you- that‘s when your heart always stops a beat. This man will surely be the death of yours.
“You don’t wanna know. Trust me.“
“C’mon, don’t be a party popper. It can’t be that bad if it’s Atsumu’s idea.“
“You’re wrong. It is that bad because it's Atsumu’s idea.“
His lips curl into a smile and he looks down to your empty shot glass, clearly trying to change the subject, which only intrigues you more about it. “You want another?“
“Sure. Tell me about the dare first though.“ You grin and hand him the small shot glass, and he groans again, his head falling back in playful annoyance before he takes the glass out of your hand and starts pouring the clear liquid into it and then into his own.
“I just wanna make clear that it was Atsumu’s idea. He wanted me to kiss you. Told ya, it was stupid.“
The way he doesn’t even hesitate to say it, his voice not even trembling nor is his gaze nervously flickering. He nonchalantly states this without giving it a second thought- and it feels like he just punched you.
“Oh. Okay.“ You force a laugh out of your mouth, a laugh that sounds forced and fake and cringe, even to your ears.
You’re absolutely sure that kissing Osamu would be great. However, not that you would ever get the chance to try. He rolls his eyes and simply hands you the full shot glass, his hand not touching yours for even a single second, like you’d burn him through physical contact.
“Don’t think about it please.“
“Okay.“ You take the full shot glass out of his hand and down it without a second thought. He does the same with his shot, and you admire his side profile for a brief second before your gaze starts to roam through the room again.
It’s silent.
Very much silent.
Your own breathing sounds too loud in the quiet room and you nervously grab your beer once again and take a few sips, but Osamu doesn’t move. You can’t look at him though, your gaze now trained to your own hands. You feel somehow rejected, even though you didn’t say anything. Did the mere thought of him kissing you seem so absurd to him? Sure, you both never really showed that kind of interest in particular, but you thought some of your conversations resembled some kind of flirting, and the way he always looked at you never failed to send butterflies to your stomach. Seems like these feelings were completely one-sided though.
A few more moments of silents later that are barely manageable and you decide to call it a day.
“I’m gonna go too. It’s getting pretty late. See ya.“
You force a smile on your face, a smile that you hope looks neutral and not like you’re trying to get the hell out of the apartment, but you’re caught off-guard when he blinks in an irritated way.
“Already? You know you can stay as long as you want. You can sleep on the couch if ya want to.“ He nods towards the luxurious couch in the living room, the one that feels like heaven whenever you slept on it, but now you just want to escape out of the suffocating atmosphere. Every second in his presence just makes the situation more tense.
“No, it’s fine. Really.“ You abruptly get on your feet and quickly take some of the empty glasses and bottles in your hands, not wanting to leave him to clean up the whole mess you three created.
„It’s fine, y/n. I can clean up later.“ Osamu’s voice behind your back is accompanied with the sound of rustling glasses and bottles, and you know that he probably took the remaining dishes with him.
“I can’t leave you with such a mess. I’m sure Atsumu will be too hungover to help you tomorrow, so I don’t mind giving you a hand right now.“ You quickly place the last few dirty glasses in the sink and hurry towards the front door.
You’re sure that Osamu can quickly get rid of the remaining mess, so you basically run towards the front door before he can confront you about your strange behavior.
“Y/n!“
“Hmm?“ You just managed to pull on your coat and turn around- only to find Osamu right in front of you. You take a step back in surprise, but he follows you, one big stride and your back is pressed against the front door, and Osamu is towering in front of you. Your bodies are not touching, there is still some space between the two of you, yet, his sudden approaching sends even more heat to your cheeks, that have probably been burning red ever since you started to drink.
“Ya don’t have to rush.“
His dialect is thick now, his voice somewhat quiet. His eyes are focused on yours, and you forget to breathe for a second- when he looks at you as intently as he does, studying every single of your reactions, and it feels like he casts a spell on you that makes your heart beat faster. He looks so insanely handsome in the dimmed light, his disheveled hair falling into his face, the black strands healthy and smooth after he had stopped dyeing his hair a few years ago. It makes you want to touch them, to brush the hair out of his face to see his eyes better, to bury your hands into his hair, to grab his broad shoulders and press your chest against his-
“I’m not rushing. It’s just late, you know.“ You force another polite smile on your face, a smile that doesn't feel convincing at all judging from his reaction.
“Okay.“ He hesitantly nods after studying your face for another second and takes a small step back, just enough for you to be able to open the door. When you take a step towards his direction though, he suddenly grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him, with enough force to have you stumbling the single step, but his free arm quickly wraps around your hip and keeps you from falling.
You’re too shocked to say something, you probably look like a fish out of the water with your mouth wide open and your widened eyes, yet he doesn’t release you nor lets go of you. You’re painfully aware of the small distance between the two of you- or rather: the non-existent distance, and you feel your heart racing in your chest with your body pressed against his. His hand around your wrist is warm, his grip tight, yet gentle- but your brain just fails completely at understanding what’s going on.
He leans down and suddenly releases your wrist to cup your chin, tilting your face until your eyes directly meet- and that’s when you forget how to breathe. Your body feels stiff and hot while you’re being pressed against him, and you subconsciously bring your hands to his chest to create some distance between the two of you, but he doesn’t even budge the slightest bit.
“Are ya upset? That I didn’t kiss ya?”
“What- what are you talking about?” You wiggle in his grip, but he doesn’t falter for a second. He brings his face closer to yours, so close that you can feel his breath on your lips when he’s talking again, his voice deeper this time, more attractive.
“What would you have done if I kissed ya? Tell me, y/n.” You pause with your movements, staying completely frozen and unable to move.
“I- I don’t know.” Your breath come shallow, you feel like there is not enough oxygen coming to your brain and leaving you in a hazy and hot state- and it’s hot, oh, so hot, the way his gaze flickers to your lips and then to your eyes again.
“Wanna find out then?”
Your fingers curl into his shirt, but you’re not pushing him away. You can barely focus when he comes even closer, so close that his lips are slightly touching yours, and you involuntarily close your eyes and lean forward, just a little bit to close the distance between the two of you.
His hand on your hip freezes for a second, now it’s his body that seems surprisingly stiff, now that you simply decided to kiss Osamu Miya- but he quickly regains composure and initiates a deeper kiss- still soft and delicate, his hand gingerly cupping your cheek and tilting your face to kiss you in a deeper angle. Your lips move against his, the addicting feeling of him kissing you so tenderly slowly creating a feeling of hunger in your body. Your heart rate goes through the roof for sure, but you don’t care. Not when he’s kissing you like that, when he is holding you like you would break if he just applied too much pressure. “Samu-“ you gasp when he pulls back to let you both breathe, his forehead resting against yours, and his hand now moving to your lower back to hold you steady.
“Y/n,” he whispers against your lips and takes a deep breath. You’re barely able to comprehend what’s going on, and you feel your body trembling in his hold, yet you still don’t move back.
Osamu Miya just kissed you, and it was great. So great that you want more kisses- more of him, that you’re growing greedy for more.
“Would you have kissed me back in front of Tsumu?”
“Can we please not talk about your twin brother now?” You huff at his words, not believing that he has the nerve to talk about that when you’re still in his arms, growing hotter every second- probably also due to the thick winter coat you’re still wearing.
“I need to take off the coat, Samu. Or leave- what do you want me to do now?”
You look directly in his eyes while you say the words, knowing fully well that your words carry a second meaning. Does he want you to stay? Did the kiss mean something to him? Or did he just want to proof something to himself?
“I’m fine with whatever you decide. You can leave, or you can stay. You can sleep on the couch, or sleep with me. I’m following your pace, y/n.”
“I-“ you’re caught off-guard at his words, barely able to realize that he let go of you and just stands there without touching you, patiently waiting for your answer.
“I want to stay.”
“Okay.” He nods with a small smile, quickly stepping closer and helping you out of the coat like a true gentleman.
“Thanks.” You smile back, excitement but also nervousness making you shiver, but Osamu is quickly by your side again after putting away your coat and takes your hand to lead you to the living room.
“Where do ya wanna sleep? I can get the couch ready in a minute if ya want to.”
“I… I want to sleep with you.” You feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, and you hope that you don’t look too flustered while you’re avoiding his gaze, but he squeezes your hand reassuringly and thankfully refrains from replying with a mocking comment.
“Your pace. Tell me when yer uncomfortable. I can always go and sleep on the couch.”
His words are reassuring, and that's what you admire about him. Osamu will always care about your feelings first- that’s just the way he is.
The way to his room is short, it only takes you both a few steps, but his hand holds yours softly until you reach his room.
“Here, I got a shirt for ya.” He hands you a dark, clean shirt from his drawer and nods towards the bathroom, signaling you that you can change there.
“Thank you.”
You quickly come back with his shirt on, a quite comfortable one thankfully, and decide that you will sleep with no pants- not daring to remove them already though. Osamu is already ready to sleep, sitting shirtless on the bed with the blanket covering his lower half, that you assume is only clothed in a pair of boxers. You probably shouldn‘t stare too much, but you can‘t stop your eyes from flickering down to his broad chest and to his strong arms, but he doesn’t seem to mind you eyeing him up.
He raises a brow though and smiles after scanning your figure for a few seconds, and his gaze heats up your cheeks once again. He suddenly nods and flicks a switch next to his bed, and the room immediately darkens. You can barely see his silhouette when you finally sit on the bed after quickly removing your pants.
“I’m just gonna lay here?” You ask, now slightly regretting not being able to see his face. An agreeing hum leaves him, and you quickly slip under the covers next to Osamu. You don‘t dare to move though, your body awkwardly laying on the edge of the bed.
It’s silent for a few moments, and you internally debate whether he has already fallen asleep, or if he’s laying just as stiff as you. His breathing pattern sounds relaxed, but you can’t help but to wish that you were closer to him. Would he mind if you just slipped a little closer?
You carefully inch your body closer to his, trying to cause as few movement and sounds on the bed as possible, but when you accidentally touch his bare arm, you can hear his breath stock. His hand suddenly comes up and grabs your upper arms and before you know what’s happening, you find yourself under him.
“Samu-“ you gasp, but your gasp gets interrupted when you feel his lips against yours. Not in the same way as before- there is nothing soft about it. It’s hungry and needy, his tongue flicking against your lip to urge you to open your mouth for him- which you gladly do with a low moan.
It just feels right. To lay in Osamu’s arms, to have his lips on yours, to feel his bodyweight on top of you- it all feels so intimate and good-
“I like ya. A lot.” He suddenly rasps between your kisses, his voice now thick and clouded with lust, and he kisses you again, deeper with more fever. You deepen the kiss as response, your hands slipping under his shirt and roam to his wide shoulders, feeling his bare skin, feeling how the muscles tense under your touch. You slightly scratch him with your nails- not enough to hurt him, but enough to leave a mark.
“Fuck, yer drivin’ me crazy.” He pulls back and groans against your neck at the sensation of your nails against his back, his hips suddenly bucking into yours, and you arch your back at the feeling of his hardened cock against your clothed pussy.
“Shit, Samu- do that again-“ you gasp, your head thrown back, and you moan his name again when he grinds against you a little harder, the friction sending a wave of pleasure through your body. Your legs wrap around his body, spreading you even more for him, and you’re pretty sure that he will be able to feel how wet you are for him even through both of your underwear, yet it only spurs him on further and he props himself up on his elbows and thrusts his hips in a slow rhythm.
“Feels really good, Samu,” you let one of your hands wander to his chest, feeling his muscles tense with every thrust he’s doing, feeling his heartbeat that is just as fast as yours.
“Imagine how good it would feel without clothes. When I- fuck- when I fuck you as hard and long as you want. Make ya nice and wet for me, make ya cum on my tongue, my fingers- and then- thenI would fuck ya with my cock.” You feel your cunt pulsing with every single of his words- fuck- why is Osamu Miya so good at dirty talk? Who would have thought that the ever so calm and collected Osamu would have such a dirty mouth?
“Please, Samu- want to feel you, want you to fuck me.” You whine, desperately rubbing yourself against him, and you hear him curse, you feel him throb in his boxers, but he just goes harder- not faster but harder, as if he wants to force the orgasm out of you by sheer friction against your sensitive clit.
“C’mon, y/n. Be a good girl and show me what ya look like when yer cummin’. Want ya to cum for me now, pretty girl-“ his lips are attached to your neck now, greedily sucking and biting the skin, leaving a few marks for sure- but you don’t care. Not when he’s got you so close to cumming, not when you feel like you could burst any second.
And you do.
A few more thrusts later, and you feel yourself cumming, the friction against your clothed clit enough to send you to heaven, and you grab his shoulders while you scream his name. Your body arches up, your muscles deliciously tensing and contracting, the heat now almost consuming you. So much that you barely realize that he kept on groaning your name and whispers of praises, of how pretty you look when you cum for him, how you’re such a good girl for him, how he wants you to keep cumming just for him- and you do.
You don’t know how much time has passed, when you suddenly realize that he’s cumming too- that his body tenses and he suddenly grabs your shoulders with his body weight almost crushing you, but you don’t mind it. You feel his cock twitching against your core, and a wet sensation and you swear he makes the hottest sounds you have ever heard when he’s groaning your name and moans against your skin.
Both of your chests are heaving heavily, and you barely realize that he rolls to his side and presses you against his chest to avoid crushing you completely. Not that you would have minded that. You wrap your shaky legs around him and push him closer, not caring about the fact that you’re both covered in sweat. His hands rest on your back, his right one rubbing circles on your back and softly caresses your skin under the shirt you’re still wearing, and you contently hum against his chest.
He easily manages to make you feel comfortable and worshiped, to show his affection to you with his little gestures.
“Ya wanna eat somethin’? I have your favorite onigiri in the fridge. Or do ya wanna take a shower? Or a bath?” His chest vibrates against your cheek while he’s talking, and you feel your heart swell with affection at his caring words.
“I’m too worn out for anything. How about breakfast in bed tomorrow and then a bath together?”
He presses a kiss to your temple, and you can basically feel his smile when he answers. “Sounds like a good plan. We also need to talk about “us“ when we get up.”
Your breath stocks for a second at his words, a sudden panic suddenly growing in your chest.
“So… that means there is a “us“ now?”
“I came in my underwear from dry humping ya. In case ya can’t tell, that makes us more than just friends.” You can’t see his face but you know that he’s rolling his eyes while he reassuringly rubs your back and still refuses to let you go.
“More than friends, hum?” You muse, while he keeps on rubbing circles on your back, and you know that he won't let you go tonight- or ever.
“Sounds good.”
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viasplat · 1 year
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I typed up the Pentiment bibliography for my own use and thought I’d share it here too. In case anyone else is fixated enough on this game to embark on some light extra-curricular reading
I haven’t searched for every one of these books but a fair few can be found via one of the following: JSTOR / archive.org / pdfdrive.com / libgen + libgen.rocks; or respective websites for the journal articles.
List below the cut!
Beach, Alison I, Women as Scribes: Book Production and Monastic Reform in Twelfth-Century Bavaria. Cambridge University Press, 2004
Berger, Jutta Maria. Die Geschichte der Gastfreundschaft im hochmittelalterlichen Mönchtum die Cistercienser. Akademie Verlag GmbH, 1999
Blickle, Peter. The Revolution of 1525. Translated by Thomas A. Brady, Jr. and H.C. Erik Midelfort. The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1985
Brady, Thomas A., Jr. “Imperial Destinies: A New Biography of the Emperor Maximilian I.” The Journal of Modern History, vol.62, no.2, 1990. pp. 298-314
Brandl, Rainer. “Art or Craft? Art and the Artist in Medieval Nuremberg.” Gothic and Renaissance Art in Nuremberg 1300-2550. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1986
Byars, Jana L., “Prostitutes and Prostitution in Late Medieval Barcelona.” Masters Theses. Western Michigan University, 1997
Cashion, Debra Taylor. “The Art of Nikolaus Glockendon: Imitation and Originality in the Art of Renaissance Germany.” Journal of Historians of Netherlandish Art, vol.2, no.1-2, 2010
de Hamel, Christopher. A History of Illuminated Manuscripts. Phaidon Press Limited, 1986
Eco, Umberto. The Name of the Rose. Translated by William Weaver. Mariner Books, 2014
Eco, Umberto. Baudolino. Translated by William Weave. Boston, Mariner Books, 2003
Fournier, Jacques. “The Inquisition Records of Jacques Fournier.” Translated by Nancy P. Stork, San Jose University, 2020
Geary, Patrick. “Humiliation of Saints.” In Saints and their cults: studies in religious sociology, folklore, and history. Edited by Stephen Wilson. Cambridge University Press, 1985. pp. 123-140
Harrington, Joel F. The Faithful Executioner: Life and Death, Honor and Shame in the Turbulent Sixteenth Century. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013
Hertzka, Gottfied and Wighard Strehlow. Große Hildegard-Apotheke. Christiana-Verlag, 2017
Hildegard von Bingen. Physica. Edited by Reiner Hildebrandt and Thomas Gloning. De Gruyter, 2010
Julian of Norwich. Revelations of Divine Love. Translated by Barry Windeatt. Oxford University Press, 2015
Karras, Ruth Mazo. Sexuality in Medieval Europe: Doing Unto Others. Routledge, 2017
Kerr, Julie. Monastic Hospitality: The Benedictines in England, c.1070-c.1250. Boydell Press, 2007
Kieckhefer, Richard. Forbidden rites: a necromancer's manual of the fifteenth century. Sutton, 1997
Kümin, Beat and B. Ann Tlusty. The World of the Tavern: Public Houses in Early Modern Europe. Routledge, 2017
Ilner, Thomas, et al. The Economy of Dürnberg-Bei-Hallein: an Iron Age Salt-mining Centre in the Austrian Alps. The Antiquaries Journal, vol. 83, 2003. pp. 123-194
Làng, Benedek. Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic in the Medieval Libraries of Central Europe. The Pennsylvania State University Press, 2008
Lindeman, Mary. Medicine and Society in Early Modern Europe. Cambridge University Press, 2010
Lowe, Kate. “'Representing' Africa: Ambassadors and Princes from Christian Africa to Renaissance Italy and Portugal, 1402-1608.” Transactions of the Royal Historical Society Sixth Series, vol. 17, pp. 101-128
Meyers, David. “Ritual, Confession, and Religion in Sixteenth-Century Germany.” Archiv für Reformationsgeschichte, vol. 89, 1998. pp. 125-143
Murat, Zuleika. “Wall paintings through the ages: the medieval period (Italy, twelfth to fifteenth century).” Archaeological and Anthropological Sciences, vol. 12, no. 191. Springer, October 2021. pp. 1-27
Overty, Joanne Filippone. “The Cost of Doing Scribal Business: Prices of Manuscript Books in England, 1300-1483.” Book History 11, 2008. pp. 1-32
Page, Sophie. Magic in the Cloister: Pious Motives, Illicit Interests and Occult Approaches to the Medieval Universe. The Pennsylvania State University Press, 2013
Park, Katharine. “The Criminal and the Saintly Body: Autopsy and Dissection in Renaissance Italy.” Renaissance Quarterly, vol. 47, no. 1, Spring 1994. pp. 1-33
Rebel, Hermann. Peasant Classes: The Bureaucratization of Property and Family Relations under Early Habsburg Absolutism, 1511-1636. Princeton University Press, 1983
Rublack, Ulinka. “Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Female Body in Early Modern Germany.” Past & Present, vol. 150, no. 1, February 1996. pp. 84-110
Salvadore, Matteo. “The Ethiopian Age of Exploration: Prester John's Discovery of Europe, 1306-1458.” Journal of World History, vol. 21, no. 4, 2011. pp. 593 - 627
Sangster, Alan. “The Earliest Known Treatise on Double Entry Bookkeeping by Marino de Raphaeli”. The Accounting Historians Journal, vol. 42, no. 2, 2015. pp. 1-33.
Throop, Priscilla. Hildegard von Bingen's Physica: The Complete English Translation of Her Classic Work on Health and Healing. Healing Arts Press, 1998
Usher, Abbott Payson. “The Origins of Banking: The Primitive Bank of Deposit, 1200-1600.” The Economic History Review, vol. 4, no. 4, 1934. pp. 399-428
Waldman, Louis A. “Commissioning Art in Florence for Matthias Corvinus: The Painter and Agent Alexander Formoser and his Sons, Jacopo and Raffaello del Tedesco.” Italy and Hungary: Humanism and Art in the Early Renaissance. Edited by Péter Farbaky and Louis A. Waldman, Villa I Tatti, 2011. pp. 427-501
Wendt, Ulrich. Kultur und Jagd: ein Birschgang durch die Geschichte. G. Reimer, 1907
Whelan, Mark. “Taxes, Wagenburgs and a Nightingale: The Imperial Abbey of Ellwangen and the Hussite Wars, 1427-1435.” The Journal of Ecclesiastical History, vol. 72, no. 4, 2021, pp. 751-777.e
Wiesner-Hanks, Merry E. Women and Gender in Early Modern Europe. Cambridge University Press, 2008
Yardeni, Ada. The Book of Hebrew Script: History, Paleography, Script Styles, Calligraphy & Design. Tyndale House Publishers, 2010
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