THEY’RE RELEASING FUCKING WHAT

—christmas cream(pie) ; (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: established relationship, smut, fluff

⟶ word count: 3.6k

⟶ summary:  a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend's parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, food play, finger-sucking, spit kink, dirty talk, oral (f) receiving, slight choking but nothing too extreme, unprotected sex, creampie, jungkook being the sweetest boyfriend on the earth and your emotional support, tooth-rooting domestic fluff:(

a/n: hi!! this is my little christmas present for you. hope you enjoy what my brain came up with yesterday<3 ps. i also dont know what kind of fic title this is.

Christmas secure a top spot on your own self-made list of holidays. You enjoy practically every aspect of it. The food, decorating your house, songs, movies, the whole magical aura of warmth and love – you name it.

But this year though, you're fiddled with anxiety because it's the first time you're going to celebrate with your boyfriend Jungkook and his parents.  

You've been dating for two lovely years, living in a shared apartment for almost six months but somehow you've never spent any major holiday together. Until now, it actually felt like a step bigger than moving in. Choosing to be with your families and celebrate separately was never an issue for both of you.

And foolishly, you thought this year would be no like the other, that you'll kiss your sweet boyfriend goodbye before Christmas Eve and reunite after the whole shenanigans would end. But to your surprise, Jungkook had different plans for you.  

“Y-your parents did what?”  

“They invited us for a Christmas dinner.” he repeated calmy, completely unfazed by the pure shock marring your features.

He was sprawled on the couch, hair messy and falling onto his forehead because he had been avoiding barbershops lately (it wasn’t like you minded it–if anything, it made him look even sexier). He was wearing your favorite pair of sweats that had a soy sauce stain on the left knee and a simple black t-shirt, yet for you he looked like an angel sent from the above and devil reincarnated at the same time. So deliciously domestic and soft it almost made you wanna jump him right here and there, if it wasn't for the more nagging matters that you had yet to discuss with him.  

“But,” you stuttered, brain too consumed by nerves to help you formulate coherent sentences. “I was visiting your parents in Busan over summer.”  

“Yeah, but it's been a while and they really want to see you again,” he said, raising from his spot. He came up to you, his tall, lean body towering over your form. The moment you saw his sparkly doe eyes boring holes into yours, you knew you were approximately twenty seconds from giving in. “Pretty please.” he tried again, palms cupping your flushed cheeks until you had no choice but to agree.  

“Okay.”  

Jungkook grinned in response and leaned to press a chaste kiss onto your lips. “Love you, baby.” He tasted like spicy noodles and soda but you ignored it, mustering a small smile.  

“Love you too.” you said, always meaning those three little words because truly, you could never resist Jeon Jungkook and his charms. He had you wrapped around his finger more than you'd ever admit and you'd simply do anything to make him happy, even if that meant stressing over a Christmas dinner with his parents.  

“They really like you, ___. You have nothing to worry about.” Jungkook murmured upon kissing your nose, and then forehead. “My mom is already so excited to see you. She said she would make an apple pie because you once mentioned you liked it.”

You leaned into his touch, slightly less angry you had been surprised with a revelation like that but at the same time still apprehensive and filled with nerves. “You aren't making this easier, you know?” you asked.  

Jungkook sent you an apologetic smile. “You're amazing, baby. You don't need to convince my parents again that you're the right person for me,” he said, hands finding purchase on your waist and pulling you closer to him. “All you have to do is smile and compliment my mom's cooking skills. And maybe ask dad about fishing. You know he's been crazy about it lately.”

Easier said than done, you thought to yourself. Jungkook was a natural when it came to bewitching people. Your parents adored him because he knew all the right words to make them fall for his charms. He didn’t have to try hard or pretend to be someone else in order to be accepted as their daughter’s partner.  

You, on the other hand, were on a different side of the spectrum. No matter how many times Jungkook reassured you of your worth, you still had a lot of insecurities to deal with. That was just who you were as a person. Maybe it was why you clicked so well together. You needed someone to be your second Sun.

“You got his.” With a final kiss onto the crown of your head, Jungkook left you standing in the middle of the living room, and all you could think about was a fricking apple pie and finding new ways to impress your boyfriend's parents. 

Hence way you're currently in the kitchen, blender in your right hand as you mix the ingredients for the most extra chocolate cake you've ever made, determination written all over your features like you’re competing in the final Bake Off episode.

And why is that? Because your brain couldn't let you sleep peacefully at night if you didn't decide to bake your own cake for Jungkook's mother. It started innocently, slowly getting information out of your boyfriend about his parents' favorite food. Of course, you had to be clever about it, so he wouldn't suspect anything too early into the game. That's why after asking a round of rather specific questions you lured him into a blowjob because you know he usually loses his goddman mind after a good dick sucking.  

Content with your plan, you're now a day before the Christmas dinner, Jungkook's mother's beloved cake almost ready to be put into the oven.

“Babe, I'm home!” you hear Jungkook calling from the corridor. You sent him to do some (un)necessary grocery shopping so you could have a time for yourself to prepare the cake without him looking over your shoulder and analyzing your every move. You really hate when people do that because you’re more likely to screw something when you’re being watched.

“Let me taste it then,” he says, grabby hands reaching for the bowl but you quickly swat them away.  

“I'm here!” you shout back, unplugging the blender once you're satisfied with your chocolate cream.  

“What is the smell?” Jungkook asks, entering the kitchen. “Oh,” he quips, placing grocery bags on the floor. “You made this?”  

“Mhmm,” you hum, dipping a finger into the bowl and then putting it into your mouth. It tastes good, not too sweet but at the same time it still has a strong chocolate flavor. Perfect.

“Wash your hands first.”  

“Wait,” You can almost hear the gears shifting in his brain. His grip on your waist tightens as you desperately try to stifle the laugh babbling in your throat. “This is my mom's favorite cake.” 

Jungkook dramatically salutes you, even though you see him smirking under his breath. Once his hands are all clean and dry, you feel his arms encircling your body from the back. “Is this for me?” he murmurs, obviously referring to the cake.

“Nope. It's for tomorrow's Christmas dinner.” 

That’s why you break into a smile, pulling him for a quick peck. “You can taste my cream now.” you say.  

“Great observation.”

“And you said you were making it for the Christmas dinner,” Jungkook continues, “Which means you did this purposely.” he finishes, twirling your body so you're now facing him.  

“You said she would make me an apple pie so I thought I could reciprocate the kindness and do the same,” An innocent smile tugs at your lips. “Besides, the more food the better.” 

Jungkook snorts. “So here's why you were asking me all those weird questions lately.”

Your eyes widen. “You paid attention to that?”

“Babe, I might be a simple man who enjoys seeing his girlfriend sucking his dick but it doesn't mean I don't listen to you,” he says, sounding slightly offended but you know that deep down he's amused by the whole situation. “You didn't have to do that, you know?”  

You let out a long sigh. “I know but... I just felt so weird. Your parents are so happy to see us, they are doing all those preparations and I couldn't stop thinking about doing something to impress them in return,” you murmur. “So they wouldn't think it preparing a whole celebratory dinner for their son and his girlfriend was actually pointless.” you add in a smaller voice, dropping your head down.   

“Baby,” Jungkook coos, fingers grasping your chin so you could look him in the eye again. “You're an amazing person. My parents know that too. You don't have to prove them your worth. Ever.”  

His words make you relax visibly. You don’t know what you would do if you didn’t have Jungkook by your side. He’s just being himself, showing you his extremely caring side as he usually does when you feel down but somehow you’re more thankful for this now.

You dip your index finger into the cream. Then, making sure his eyes are trained on your face, you bring your finger up and envelop with your lips, purposely sucking on it obscenely. “Mmm,” you nothing but moan. “It’s really good.”

“That sounded awfully sexual.”  

“No, it did not! You're just perverted.” 

“But you love me anyway, don't you?” 

You snort at his stupid remark. Suddenly, a not-so-innocent idea pops in your mind and you wonder who’s actually the one with more inappropriate thoughts running through their head. Jungkook might enjoy teasing you on daily basis, but a girl can have her fun too, right?  

Jungkook's eyes darken seeing your little stunt you’ve decided to pull today. He bites the inside of his cheek, before saying,”’I know what game you’re playing.”  

“I’m not doing anything.” you respond, feigning innocence. Before you can dive for more cream, Jungkook grabs your wrist and stops you.  

Bingo.  

When he takes his two fingers and plunges them into the cream, you know exactly what’s coming next, the adrenaline and excitement pumping through your veins. He brings his fingers up towards your face and you have to fight an urge to stay still, waiting for his instructions like the good girl you obviously are. “Open up, baby.”  

You oblige immediately, mouth falling open and tongue out. He pushes his fingers inside, sweet, chocolate cream filling your taste buds. “Suck.” he says simply, eyes fixated on your lips. You do it without a second thought, swirling your tongue around his digits and making sure to lick every last drop of the substance.  

When he decides he can't take it anymore, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth and before you can even blink, he crashes his lips onto yours; fast, messy and unforgiving, thrusting his tongue inside to play with yours. His motives are clear: you aren’t leaving the kitchen without getting properly fucked.  

“So sweet,” he murmurs against your lips, the hand around your waist pulling you flush against him. “My cute girlfriend thought she could tease me and get away with it.”  

He bites onto your lower lip as to prove his point and you whimper. “It’s not like that,” you manage to say, grinding yourself against the evident bulge in his pants. “I didn’t expect to get away with it.”  

Jungkook's hands travel to the backs of your thighs and he lifts you up effortlessly, placing you on the counter. You’re sure there are traces of flour still on it but you couldn’t care less right now, not when a pair of hands roughly nudges your legs apart so he could stand in between them.

“So you did it purposely,” Jungkook leaves your mouth in favor of tracing kisses down your neck. Careful not to marry your skin with hickeys because you would beat the shit out of him if he did bruise your neck a day before the dinner with his parents. “Naughty girl.” He punctuates his statement with a bite to your earlobe, his next words being whispered directly into your ear. “What should I do with you, then?”  

You whimper, your thighs pressing together just hearing the tone of his voice. You lace your fingers through the locks at the back of his hair and place a kiss against his lips. “Fuck me?” you ask in a saccharine-sweet tone.  

He chuckles in response, fingers grasping your t-shirt and pulling it off you, revealing your bare chest to his hungry eyes. He wastes no time and latches his mouth onto a nipple but as soon as his tongue meets your hardened bud, he retreats. Confused, you watch as he reaches for the bowl once again and dips his fingers into the cream. He then smears it all over your nipples, a proud smirk caught on his lips when he leans back to admire his art work.  

“Kook,” you mewl, too pathetically for your liking and you know how much it’ll stroke his ego. “Please, touch me.” you plea, one of your hands reaching to pull him closer to you.

“Yeah?” His chuckle is almost sinister. “Look at you, all dirty and begging me so nicely. Not that smart with your mouth now, are you?”  

All you manage is a nod and meek “Please,” that quickly morphs into a drawn out moan when he finally dips his head to suck your nipple into his hot mouth. You never could have guessed that the idea of food play would be so arousing to you but here you are, pussy clenching around nothing when your sweet boyfriend licks chocolate cream off your boobs.

When he’s done and satisfied with the result, he grabs your sweatpants and pulls them down along with your underwear in one go, your bare ass meeting with the cold marble of your kitchen counter. Jungkook wastes no time and spreads your legs apart, not giving you a second to shy away from his burning gaze before he dives in to lick a stripe up your slit.  

You cry out in pleasure when his tongue finds your clit and gives it a sharp suck, his hands grabbing your ankles and bending your knees so he could have a full access to your glistening core. You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and making a mess on Jungkook's face but he doesn’t mind it a bit, eating you out like a champ you know he is.  

“So wet,” he rasps against your cunt. “Messy girl.”

To make matters worse (or better) he takes his sweet time and lets a glob of his spit mix with your arousal because Jungkook, much like you, enjoys giving a head more than anything in the world and makes it his priority to see you lose it on his tongue. You’re positive you will come like this if he keeps continuing abusing your clit just right. He knows your pussy like the back of his hand. Knows what makes you keen, how to make you eyes roll to the back of your head. It fuels his ego to see you like this; helpless and utterly devoted to the pleasure and you don’t even mind when he brags about it later. How could you if you benefit so much from it?  

Suddenly, he grunts into your cunt and your brows furrow because it’s not the sound you’re used to hearing during sex. You look down to check what’s wrong but he’s already up and in level with your eyes, a sheepish smile adoring his features.  

“Neck cramp,” he explains, his palm massaging the back of his neck. “Eating pussy is easier on the bed.” You can’t help but giggle, replacing his hand with yours and providing him a temporary relief. “I’m sorry. Were you close?” he asks. 

There he is. Your sweet, caring boyfriend who never forgets to ask for consent before railing you into the mattress and always putting your pleasure before his own.  

“Mhmm,” you hum, grasping his t-shirt and lifting it off his body. It should be considered a sin to look like this, you think to yourself. “But I want to come on your cock instead.”  

Jungkook grins, quickly pulling down his pants and underwear. His cock slaps against his stomach, pride swelling in your chest because you know you can make him this hard without your touch. “How do you want it?” he asks, guaranteeing himself a moment of relief when he gives his cock a few pumps, spreading precum all over his length.

“Like that,” you answer, gesturing at your current position on the counter. “Wanna see you.”  

“Anything for my pretty girl.”  

If you weren't already red, you would have blushed at his cute words. The sentiment doesn’t last long though, your face twisting in ecstasy when he lines himself up with your entrance and starts pushing inside, the stretch deliciously burning. “Oh my god, Kook,” you whimper, hand clutching onto his biceps for support. “So big. You feel so good.” He groans, slithering himself deeper. His forehead rests onto yours, few ragged breaths before you murmur, “You can move.”

He sets a punishing pace from the beginning, fucking you hard and fast; wet, slapping noises filling the kitchen. You’re a blubbering mess, moaning incoherently as he splits your pussy open, thrust after thrust. “Yeah, fucking take it,” Jungkook rasps, grabbing your hips even harder, no doubt leaving there marks. “Cream my cock like a good girl.”  

You mewl in response, your eyes focusing on his parted lips. “J-jungkook,” you stutter, head completely deprived of rational thoughts. “Spit in my mouth.” It’s almost a breathless plea on your tongue.  

He curses, his right hand squeezing your cheeks. “Open.” You do it right away, nearly moaning when he purses his lips and spits, eyes almost bulging out of his head when he sees you swallow it greedily. “Dirty fucking girl.” he growls.

“B-but you love it, right?” you whimper, eyes glossy because he's hitting that spot inside your pussy that makes your toes curl. “L-love when I’m like this just for you.”  

“Fuck, yeah I do,” Jungkook says, placing his hand around your throat. He doesn’t apply pressure and simply rests it there, urging you to look directly at him. “I love when my pretty baby becomes a dirty slut for me.” He punctuates his words with a harsh buck of his hips that makes you cry out.

You can't take it anymore. “K-kook,” you whine, grabbing his wrist and urging him to squeeze your throat. “I love you.”  

Despite his hand around your neck and cock abusing your cunt, he breaks into a smile. He leans down to kiss you on your putty lips. You try to keep up with him but there’s no use for that, so you just open your mouth and let him slither his tongue inside. When he pulls away, your lips are wet with saliva. Messy, but you wouldn’t exchange it for anything less. “Love you too, baby.” he groans in a strained voice, dragging his cock fast through your walls.

As if reading your mind, his thumb reaches to rub fast circles on your clit. “’m so close,” you mumble, thighs shaking.

“C'mon, pretty. Wanna see you come around me.” Jungkook murmurs, gone is his dominant aura, it’s now only his gentle voice coaxing you into an earth-shattering orgasm.  

When you come down from your high, you’re swatting his fingers away from your core. Normally you would probably indulge into it more, but oversensitivity seems to be too much to handle for you today. Jungkook thrusts his hips a few more times and follows right after you, groaning your name and spilling himself inside.  

“That was nice.” he comments breathlessly  and you can’t help but chuckle, widing your arms around his neck and pulling him for a well-deserved kiss.  

“I’m too tired to move my legs and somebody needs to finish the cake,” you pout, not an ounce of exaggeration in your statement because that’s utterly true–you’re always too spent after a round of fucking with Jungkook to even go to the bathroom on your own. He gladly carries you there in his arms bridal-style every, single time.

“It's okay, sweetheart. I’ll do it.” he says, making you giggle under your breath triumphantly.  

You might be willing to do everything for you boyfriend but if anything, you’re equal in that department.  

“I’m also pretty sure there’s flour on my ass.”  

Jungkook raises his brow at you. “That I’m not going to clean.”  

“Fine. But next time I'm putting whipped cream on your dick.” you decide.  

When he pulls out of you, his cum spills out of your hole but he's quick to catch the droplets and push them back inside you with his fingers. “You’re a little minx, you know that, right?” he says and then licks his digits clean.  

“You love me anyway.” He grins, leaning to kiss you but he stops mid-way. “What is it?” you ask, raising your brows.

“Since I came inside you, we can call it a creampie, right?”  

Still slightly dazed after sex, you’re not quick enough to realise what he implies before it’s too late. “I mean yes but–oh my god. No, no, no! Stop!”  

“Cream-pie!”  

“I hate you!”  

“And I love you too.”  

After all, you were worrying about the dinner too much, as always.  

Everybody complimented your cake. Jungkook's mother was delighted. His father talked about fishing for almost an hour.

But your sweet boyfriend's smirking face as he ate the cake was telling you were in for a long night of sinning in your bed as soon as you went back home.  

And he obviously didn’t disappoint.  

Kylo’s Wedding Would Include:

(Okay, maybe he wouldn’t be on a horse but I imagine his suit being like this!)

With Kylo being the Supreme Leader, he would finally feel confident in marrying you. Before, he was terrified about what Snoke would do to you if he even dared to try to marry you. Once he’s free to do what he wants without fear, he’d ask you to marry him with a ring that he made on his own. He was nervous at first and thought long and hard about how to ask, but didn’t end up doing anything big because he thought just having a heart to heart would be special. 

Your wedding would go one of two ways; you either have one where some people attend, from the other Knights of Ren to important people in the First Order - if you have any family or close friends, they would come as well. The other possibility would be to do something in private with a CGR-80 there to officiate you two, only a small handful of close people there. It would all depend on what you wanted for the wedding. He was fine with having a bigger celebration but also knew that he would be able to make it special in private. 

No matter the version, he would make sure to bring you out to Naboo (Theed and the Lake Country) to celebrate. It would be perfect to get away from everything in the First Order to simply spend time with you. He would rent a hotel suite for the two of you to stay at, and he’d have a whole list of things that you could do while visiting. Kylo would rather not plan everything but rather let you two decide in the moment what you wanted to do. Though, the one thing that he did have planned was a trip out into the Lake Country, where he’d take you to Varykino, an  estate that had been in his grandmother’s family. 

Bigger Wedding:

Some may expect a big wedding from the Supreme Leader of the First Order, with hundreds of guests and only the best ceremony. However, as he did not want to turn it into something some may call superficial, he limited the amount of people who would attend. The Knights were some of the first people accepted as well as anyone close to you. Then there were some officers from High Command and other important people. But there were also other important people who ran governments that allied with the First Order. 

The wedding would take place somewhere on Coruscant, as it had been the place that represented great change in the galaxy, not that he wanted to see the wedding as one of those things. After word had gotten out about the engagement, there were some people that swooped in to help plan the wedding to ensure that it came off on the galaxy as something good. They could be considered Public Relation workers of sorts trying their best to keep a good image for Kylo. 

He hated the fact that you two could not plan everything and make it special, which is why he started to wish you had done something more special with a few people instead. Kylo was at least pleased that you were able to do something as basic as choosing the food to be served there as well as pick out your own clothing. If The people helping to organize it had any say, you’d be dressed in the most out there, crazy clothing to make you look good. 

A popular officiator from the First Order was the one to marry you and Kylo, another thing decided by those helping with the wedding. Because it was so big, they also brought in a famous band who often played at the Galaxies Opera House. They played their best song for your dance with Kylo, where he surprised you with how well he was able to dance. 

Although it was such a big event, you and Kylo still had a lot of fun there. One of the Knights may have given a drunk toast, a few officers were appalled by how loud the Knights wanted to celebrate (As many of them thought, the group wasn’t fit to be there), the cake was delectable, and you got a lot of gifts that would be useful in your shared quarters; or house/apartment if you were going to live elsewhere. But what made it the most special night was finally being able to call him your husband. 

The best part of the night, though, would be when the whole event was finally over and you could return to the hotel you were staying in. It had to be the best night of sex you’d ever have with Kylo, now being married. You could relish in the fact that your lives together were changing and there was nothing that he would let get in the way of your happiness. That night, he vowed to commit himself to you and only you, nothing to ever change his love for you.

Private Wedding:

Kylo wouldn’t want to make the wedding into anything bigger than it needed to be, as he worried having too many people there for show would lose the sentiment to the wedding overall. Therefore, he agreed to invite only the closest people to you, such as the Knights of Ren, anyone in your family, and friends. (I’m reluctant to mention him inviting Leia, as it depends on how you would view Kylo as Supreme Leader. Some people prefer him more like in the movies, taking his role more seriously and genuinely wanting to rule. While others, myself included, would want to see him realizing the errors of his ways and wanting to make a change, thus making it the perfect opportunity for them to reunite. Hence, I’ll keep that decision up to you guys!)

To make it special, the wedding would take place on Naboo, specifically in the Lake Country. He thought it would be beautiful to have it at Varykino right by the water. It gave you access to the entire estate, including the Master Bedroom where you stayed for your entire time on the planet. A few people were allowed to stay there as well while the other guests simply rented a hotel room in the city. But once the wedding night was over, those staying in extra rooms left to then give you two the estate all to yourselves. 

Since it is a smaller wedding, he didn’t want too many people getting involved with the planning besides you and him. You could wear whatever you wanted to the wedding and set up the yard to best fit your visions for the ceremony. Kylo even insisted on cooking the food himself! It was possible with the fact of there not being a whole lot of people there. It wouldn’t take him long to get ready in his suit, giving him plenty of time to get some cooking done. Though, you did order a cake from a bakery in the city. 

The actual ceremony was held out in the gardens on the patio, surprisingly where Anakin and Padme got married to one another in secret decades ago. Even with it being a smaller set up, the fact that it was held during the evening when the sun was setting made it beautiful. It was nothing extremely formal where someone would lecture you if anything went wrong. Without the pressure, Kylo allowed himself to cry even in front of the small group watching as he spoke his vows. 

Because you were already on Naboo, you stayed longer for your “honey moon” at Varykino rather than going to rent a hotel. In fact, he surprised you when he announced that he purchased the rights to the property so that when you decided to get your own place with him, you’d have the estate to move into. It would be perfect to start your lives together and to even raise a family in, in the future, if you decided to have children with him. 

Tag List: @scheherazades-horcrux @alladeline @attorneyl @babybluelukex@glitzescape @dancewaterdance02 @celiholland @crkylo@celestiaelisia @xsister-serpent @fizzywoohoo @topsykretts92 @ayatimascd@delicatelyherdreams @ddriveringg @littlegirlsdontplaynice @yymmaarr@darlinguris @bellaren18 @queenofheartsmegs @themauvemage@starlingmehdarling @anti-climactic @mollmoll01 @reylokisses @smallt1ddygothgf @mira-winterlight @glassythoughts @moon-390 @fralackles @zaneholtzwrites​ @pinkmoontribe-blog​

There has been a lot of fic published in the last couple weeks--116 completed fics since mid-July--which means today’s rec list is a little longer than usual. 

Not that that’s anything to complain about...

<1k words

give me one good movie kiss and I’ll be alright by imbrokelyn99 (rated G) It's pouring rain and David is dancing around the store and lip-syncing to "Nobody" by Mitski. Patrick loves him so, so much. 

1 - 3k words

Bring It Back by pennilesspoet (rated T) David once heard that no sense triggers sharper memories than the sense of smell. He is not sure if that’s true, but he does know that certain scents do tend to instantly bring him back to a very specific time and place.

fools rush in (and i’ve been a fool before) by withkissesfour (rated T) ‘Babe.’ ‘Oh no, I like husband.’

house and home by couldaughter (rated T) But there were still special occasions, and special occasions warranted special meals. Like, for example, 'You came out to your parents yesterday, and it was kind of emotionally exhausting? And I kind of feel guilty about it and need to mediate my guilt by pouring orange juice into a champagne flute and burning your toast to shit just the way you like." Sadly, Hallmark didn't make cards for that.

I am at rest with you by leupagus (rated T) “One of these days, you’ll listen to the doctor when she tells you to lift with your knees,” David says. He gets up, taking Patrick’s empty glass with him. “Do you want some more orange juice, or would you rather just skip to combining liquor and pills?” There’s a pause from the direction of the kitchen. “Oh, god, Twyla left the cake here.”

The IKEA Test by HolmesApothecary (rated T) When it came time to furnish his new apartment, Patrick knew he was going to need some additional furniture to what he had in storage—namely a bed. He also knew that an extra set of hands were key. And that even with all his bluster, he respected and even envied David’s sense of taste and eye for décor in the store. So, dear god, Patrick was going to drag David Rose to IKEA—possibly kicking and screaming.

Mad About the Boy by imbrokelyn99 (rated G) David gives Patrick a watch as a wedding present.

Symbol of Hospitality by kt_rose28 (rated T) “It’s just, I trusted you with the purchase of a tasteful housewarming gesture and I’m confused why you decided to bring this fugly, textured fruit to my parent’s new home”. Patrick gets a gift for Johnny and Moira's housewarming, and David has some very strong opinions.

Unknown Caller by WellSchitt (rated G) Patrick, 10:03 am: Alexis get here NOW. Please. Patrick, 10:03 am: David’s having a panic attack and he’s asking for you. I don’t know what to do. Please.

when you lie to me it’s in the small stuff by goingmywaydoll (rated G) “So I’m having a little back pain,” Patrick says and David has to resist every urge he has to let out a laugh. Instead, he sets his lips in a thin line and nods, patient and stoic. “What gave it away?” David asks and maybe he’s not being so patient.

You gotta let me read just a page of you baby by cromarty (rated G) 5 times Patrick tells David a bedtime story, and one time David tells Patrick one.

3 - 5k words

Funny Meeting You Here by Aelia_Weasley (rated M) “Nice night,” he said to David without looking away from the Leafs game playing on one of the TVs over the bar. “Yeah it is,” David replied a little too quickly. They caught each other’s eye and laughed nervously. The other man held his hand out. “Patrick.” “David, hi.” They shook hands.

How to Take it Slow by Basingstoke (rated M) David has a few questions for Patrick regarding what he's looking for in their new relationship. Set between 4x1 and 4x2.

How You Know by Distractivate (not rated) It's hard to miss the double take from the man in a golf polo and shorts as he passes him on the way back to the store. David rolls his eyes and switches Patrick’s tea to his other hand. Normally, David would assume it’s his less-than-bucolic wardrobe that caught the man’s attention. Today, he suspects it has more to do with the way he’s grinning at the blank space in front of him like he’s slightly deranged. God, maybe he is. Or, a few snippets of (mostly) marital fluff.

learned behaviors by goingmywaydoll (rated G) Brewers don't like to be taken care of. David tries anyway.

talk to me, come to me, hurry up by livelyvague (rated M) Patrick decides to use Grindr when he first gets to Schitt's Creek, ready for an opportunity to embrace his new life.

5 - 10k words

I’ve got the feeling you’re the right thing after all by JessX2231 (rated G) Once they arrived at the drive-in, Patrick insisted they get more comfortable in the backseat. He knew there was no way to offer that without sounding suggestive, but he took it all in stride.“ And what are we going to do back there that we can’t do here?” David asked. “I don’t know, David,” Patrick said with a telling grin. “Why don’t you join me and we’ll find out?” Or, Patrick takes David on their second date.

no matter what the storybooks say by wardo_wedidit (rated T) “What if I read that too?” Patrick asks one day over breakfast, setting David’s coffee down carefully on the table as he watches his husband flip his book over to concentrate on his breakfast. David shoots him a startled look. “Do you want to?” Or, five times Patrick reads a book of David’s, and one they read together.

10k+ words

1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more [series] by sloganeer (various ratings) One story per year of marriage, inspired by the traditional anniversary gifts. The series title is from the Feist song.

The Last Rose Video by Distractivate (rated M) “Unlike most of the people David was typically drawn to, Patrick’s edge wasn’t about high fashion or shitty manners or a twisted game of use or be used. Patrick’s edge was his mouth, the sharpness of his tongue. David would do pretty much anything at this point to see what else that tongue was capable of.” A story about Patrick Brewer, who owns the last Rose Video franchise in the world, and David Rose, who has been sent to Schitt's Creek by his father to close the store for good. When David meets Patrick well... things do not go to plan. Banter, sex, sweetness and soulmates finding each other in any universe.

A Very Specific Store by startswithhope (rated T) What if Christmas World didn't pull out? How would David and Patrick meet? And what would that mean for Rose Apothecary? Come along, for a little holiday tale, a Christmas in July story of first meetings, flirting, some misunderstandings, dreams lost and maybe found, along with a whole lot more (with some bed sharing, because that's always an extra special gift for us all).

Yellow Moon on the Rise by cromarty (rated T) “David was about to take his chances again when he looked up at the next float and saw the kissing booth boy, waving genially in a blue button down and slacks, with a plastic crown and a sash that said, unbelievably, ‘Corn Crown Prince.’” Or, Stevie and Alexis drag David to Elm Grove’s 4th Annual Corn Festival, where Patrick is working their college baseball team’s kissing booth fundraiser.

Losers Holiday

Summary: Richie and Eddie decided to invite the Losers over to their new house for their own holiday.  Pairing: Eddie x Richie (Reddie), Beverly x Ben (Benverly), Stan x Patty Read on Ao3: Here

The winter holiday months had always felt... off... for the Losers. Well, not when they were younger, when the holidays had a magical feel to it, Santa, close family, presents and all that. There must be a time in everyone’s lives where the holidays just don’t feel the same, not like they used to, especially when you had to work, to pay bills, take care of yourself and family didn’t really feel like family anymore. Growing up sucked. That much was clear. 

When they were kids, the Losers would always celebrate their own holiday in December. It wasn’t exactly Christmas, mainly out of respect for Stan, even though he told them over and over that he didn’t care. Instead, they called it the Losers Holiday. It was fun, they’d drink cheap alcohol from whoever could sneak it from their parents’ stash, some of them would smoke cigarettes, and as they got older they would bring pot, and they would bring each other presents. Growing up and eventually apart, the Losers never felt the same joy during the holidays as they did with their Losers Holiday. 

Especially Richie, once he moved out of Derry after he graduated high school he hasn’t celebrated any holiday ever. Not Thanksgiving, not Christmas, he would get black out drunk on New Years, but that was about it. He felt bad about leaving Derry without saying goodbye to the remaining Losers, but he needed to do it for his sanity. He had a great home life, he and his mother had struggled seeing eye-to-eye at most times, but loved and cared about each other... well... until Richie came out to them. His dad was happy for him, saying that he should do whatever makes him happy, but his mom was silent. She didn’t say much, but certainly treated him slightly different afterwards. Eventually Richie couldn’t take it anymore and left, with little money he saved up from working, only the clothes on his back hoping he would make it somewhere. 

Beverly didn’t celebrate Christmas anyways while she was living with her dad in Derry, in fact, she never did until she moved in with her aunt in Seattle, Washington. Still, the amount of positive family around her and the presents didn’t compare to the holiday memories that had slowly started to fade from the move. She could never put her finger on why it didn’t feel right, now until going back to Derry to meet back up with the Losers Club. All the memories had flooded back, everything made sense. She knew there was a reason she always bought cheap alcohol during Christmas time, it wasn’t good, but it brought back memories that she couldn’t exactly pull from the back of her mind. 

Mike, living on his grandfather’s farm and not having a mom and dad to celebrate Christmas holidays always kinda bummed him out. Yeah, his grandfather tried his best, but they didn’t have much back then, all the money they had went into bills and farm related purchases. Mike always told himself that he didn’t need a Christmas like he saw on the holiday TV movies, he had a roof over his head, food, a place to sleep, and the best friends a person could ask for. So when the Losers started their Losers Holiday he was awkward with giving out the gifts he picked out, not sure if he wrapped them right, if they were good enough, etc. The smile he had plastered on his face when everyone expressed how much they loved their gifts was something Bev wished she could’ve taken a picture of and frame it, she swore she never seen him so happy before. Living in the library all these years waiting for It to come back didn’t help, he had nobody to celebrate it with in general and it lowkey made him depressed. 

Ben got spoiled for the most part of Christmas. The kinda kid who believed in Santa until he was almost thirteen, his parents wasn’t going to ruin his holiday fun. The Losers’ face when Ben said ‘Santa’s coming in a few days.’ Everyone was silent until Richie broke out in laughter, telling Ben that was a good joke, but when Ben gave him a confused look his laughter had died down and for the first time in his life he shrunk, not wanting to be the one to tell him the news. Nobody really wanted to poke at that, but Bev was the one who broke the news, saying it was just his parents putting presents under the tree. Then why would the label say it’s from ‘Santa’? That’s when it hit him that it was in his mom’s handwriting. Whoops. 

Eddie did not like Christmas. Mainly because whenever he went out of town to meet up with family every Christmas Eve someone in his family was sick, and he would return home sick. Like, actually sick with a cold. His mom would keep him in bed for an extra week from school so he could get well again, even when Eddie kept saying he felt fine enough to go back, she just wouldn’t allow it. His mom would always say things like ‘I couldn’t get you much this year because I had to buy you all this medicine for your illnesses.’ So yeah, Eddie was drilled into feeling guilty during Christmas and it fucking sucked. Oh, yeah, not to mention that going out this time of year was gross; the stores were always more busy than usual, more people bumping into you and spreading their germs. Disgusting. 

Stan couldn’t care less about Hanukkah, to be completely honest. Yeah, his dad was a Rabbi and was always stern with him about his studies, but Stan just. Did. Not. Care. He never really felt like dealing with it, but when the Losers made their own holiday he finally felt like he was involved with something. He enjoyed drinking and giving presents to his best friends, he liked showing that he cared about them when he felt like he hasn’t in the past. 

Christmas was never the same to Bill since Georgie died; he would always remember how excited his younger brother would get that Santa was going to come to their house and bring them presents. Something about a child getting excited over Christmas always made Bill smile and play along to whatever they were talking about. Bill noticed that Christmas slowly started fading away in his house as a kid, his parents moped around in December, eventually they even stopped putting up a Christmas tree. Which was understandable, but it still made Bill sad that they still couldn’t hold onto one more thing. Oh well, the Losers Holiday instantly replaced it, and he got just as excited as Georgie did when Christmas rolled around. 

Now December was rolling around again and since the Losers were finally reunited after all these years they were excited to do their little holiday again. It was actually Eddie who brought it up, asking the other Losers if they wanted to do it as his and Richie’s new house that they recently bought. Everyone was excited to come up to Chicago to see the house and celebrate. Yeah, it’s only been a few months since they met up in Derry for the first time in years, and yeah, they texted in their group chat all the time, but they would rather see each other in person. This was going to be exciting. 

                                                               -----

“Will you please get off your lazy ass and help me clean?” Eddie asked Richie, who had his feet kicked up on the coffee table in the living room as he was drinking a beer on the couch while watching some shitty Hallmark Christmas movie. 

“Eds! I can’t!” Richie said, acting as though Eddie should’ve known that.

“Why the fuck not?”

He gestured towards the TV, and Eddie had no idea what he was supposed to be looking at, so he folded his arms across his chest, raising an eyebrow. From what Eddie could tell it was almost the end of the back to back to back to back Christmas movies. Who knows? They were all the goddamn same. 

“It’s almost the last minute, Eddie!” 

“The las- what?”

“The last minute. These boring ass cookie cutout couples don’t kiss until the last minute of the movie.” He checked his watch, not thinking about the beer can he was holding in the same hand, almost spilling it on his shirt. “Annnd....” He held up a closed hand, still watching the seconds on his watch before snapping his fingers and pointing at the TV. “Now.” Exactly as if on cue, the couple on the TV finally had their first kiss. “Awww,” Richie said sarcastically, “why can’t we have that, Eds?”

“Because I’m not a woman who works too much on Christmas and you’re not the man whose gonna change my ways at the last second,” he said, grabbing the remote and turned off the TV, “get up.”

“So oddly specific, I love it,” he said, standing up from the couch, stretching as he did. “I can put on a blonde wig.”

“Oh god...” 

“Get an office job, work my way up,” he moved over to Eddie, wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him closer so he had to look down at him, “become an important business woman. You swoop in and change my ways. Romantic.”

“I said I was the woman. Not you, Trashmouth.” 

“You’re right.” Richie reached up, rubbing the sides of his face with one hand, “this scruffy bastard isn’t pretty enough. But...”he booped Eddie’s nose, causing his face to scrunch up, “you are.”

“Th...” Eddie had to take a second to process anything Richie just said, “thanks, Richie.” 

“Oh, you are so welcome!” He leaned down, pressing his lips against Eddie’s. “Have Bev do my makeup,” he said against his lips. 

“Okay that’s enough,” he said, pushing Richie away playfully. “Beep beep, Richie.” 

“Beep beep, Richie,” he mocked, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. “But, what is there to clean? You’ve been cleaning and deep cleaning since you invited everyone over. I think it’ll hold up through tomorrow. Oh!” Richie said, switching back to his stupid joke, “Bev can make me a custom made dress!” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. It was clear Richie was getting excited, he was talking so fucking much. Times like this really showed Richie’s ADHD, he would talk a mile a minute and keep switching subjects back and forth and expect everyone to keep up. He wasn’t medicated with Adderall, he said he didn’t like the way it made him feel. Apparently the first time he took Adderall was at a college party, while everyone was taking it to get high, it did the opposite for Richie, in fact he went home to clean his entire dorm and do some homework instead. Why would I want to be productive, Eds? Was what Eddie recalled him saying when he had suggested him going to the doctor for his ADHD. 

“They won’t care what the house looks like,” Richie continued, swapping the subject again, following Eddie into the kitchen, “I mean, it’s spotless, babe. It’s not like they’ll gonna check for tiny specks of dust.”

“I know they won’t.” He opened the cabinet under the sink, looking for... something. Cleaning supplies most likely. “But Patty is coming with Stan so...” 

“Son of a bitch,” Richie said happily, “we finally get to meet the great Patty.”

Eddie pointed at him with the duster, causing Richie to put his hands up shoulder height as if he was pointing a gun at him. “You will behave.” 

“When don’t I?!” 

“Richard.” Richie clicked his tongue, giving Eddie a wink, Eddie let out a sigh. “Please?”

“I’ll do my best.” 

Eddie kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” He shoved the duster into Richie’s hands so now he couldn’t refuse to help.  “Get cleaning.” 

“Aw hell yeah,” Richie said before he began shaking the duster. Either just because he was bored or to piss Eddie off, the smaller man couldn’t tell, but he was sending dust everywhere. All the work Eddie put in the past week was quickly being destroyed unintentionally. 

“Richie!” He snapped, snatching the duster away from him, his eyes were wide in surprise and confusion. “You’re not helping! Just…” Eddie let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I dunno…. go…. um…” When he looked up at Richie he had a smile on his face, ready to do whatever task was given to him. Goddammit he was too cute for this world. Eddie snapped his fingers. “I know. It’s a job even you can handle.” 

“Ouch.” 

“No, shut up, you’ll like it. Go to the store and get the cheapest alcohol you can find.” 

“Cheap?!” Richie put a hand on his chest as if he was wounded by Eddie’s words, “Richie Trashmouth doesn’t buy cheap! Only the best for my pack of Losers!”

“We used to only drink cheap alcohol for our holiday.”

“We used to steal it too. Oh.” Richie smiled. “Is it for the aesthetic?” Richie knew that was a meme, Eddie didn’t. That’s what made his expression even more hilarious.  “You want me to rob the liquor store?” 

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I can see it now!” He wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, bringing him to his side, using his other arm to wave it across them as if they were standing in lights. “‘Richie Tozier under fire for robbing a liquor store of their cheapest alcohol. More at five.’ Ah? Would you like to see that? I’d like to see that. Aesthetic.” 

“Just…” Eddie had to stop as he let out a laugh from his stupid jokes. He put a hand on his face, looking at his boyfriend lovingly. “Jesus fucking Christ. Just go, Richie.” 

“Once I get my ski mask from the closet it’s over for those bitches at the liquor store.” Eddie was startled when Richie pulled him in close, planting a quick kiss on his lips before getting ready to face the harsh winter that was the outdoors. 

                                                                 -----

It was hard for Richie and Eddie to sleep, no matter what they did they just could not sleep for the life of them. Eddie was panicking about the shape of the house, did he do this? Did he do that? All of these constant self doubt questions were swarming in his head in the middle of the night, rendering his ability to sleep. Richie, on the other hand, was too excited to sleep. He couldn’t wait to see the Losers again after all these months. Yeah, texting them was great but tomorrow would be even better. 

Throughout the night they were blaming each other on their inability to sleep. You keep tossing and turning. Yeah, well you keep mumbling shit in your sleep. Eddie has gotten fed up with Richie fidgeting, tapping his fingers and bouncing his leg in bed, so eventually he climbed onto the taller man and laying on him for the rest of the night so he would stop. Richie didn’t know that. Richie thought Eddie just wanted to cuddle, so he held him close and that’s when they eventually fell asleep.

A night of tossing and turning and a deep sleep never mixed too well. In fact, Richie and Eddie overslept well into the afternoon the next day. Y’know, when the Losers were supposed to show up to start their holiday. The two idiots didn’t even hear their many, many, many set alarms that they needed to even wake up in the morning. Yikes. 

Richie mumbled something under his breath when his cell phone started vibrating next to his head on the mattress. He wasn’t ready to wake up, he was still tired and needed just five more minutes. He tried rolling over to get away from the noise, but Eddie was still laying on him so he couldn’t move at all. Eventually Richie opened on eye, looking over at the red LEDs of their digital alarm clock. Without his glasses he couldn’t even try to make out what it said. 

“Okay, okay…” he said under his breath as he reached for his phone. He had to squint hard to be able to make out the time on the phone through his already blurry vision and his tired eyes. 12:44. Wait, was that right? Richie bolted upward, almost knocking Eddie off the bed. “Eddie!” He almost yelled, shaking his boyfriend a little to wake him up. “We’re late!” Eddie mumbled something, his eyes still closed as he waved a hand to Richie as if to signal ‘five more minutes.’  “Eddie!” 

“Why are you always so loud,” Eddie said, clamping his hands over his ears, rolling over onto the empty mattress space next to him. 

“It’s-” 

“Shush!” Eddie said, attempting to put a hand over Richie’s face to shut him up, but couldn’t quite reach. Richie grabbed his wrist as he put on his glasses. “I don’t want to hear a word from you until the alarm clock goes off.” 

“That’s wh-”

Richie was interrupted again when the doorbell rang, followed by some pounding from someones fist. “They’re here!” He announced happily. Eddie’s eyes shot open, looking at the digital clock on his nightstand. 

Oh fuck they overslept.

“Oh shit, I’m not even dressed yet!” Eddie whined, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress. “I’ll just text them-” 

“Too late!” Richie yelled as he ran out of bed in only a t-shirt and boxers with a huge smile on his face. 

Eddie let out a groan of frustration as he smacked his forehead. Well, okay, fine, as long as it’ll give Eddie time to get dressed and ready. 

Richie unlocked the door, swinging it open, leaning against the door frame with the same huge smile plastered onto his face. “Losers!” He said loudly and happily when he saw the five adults standing outside in the cold. Richie shivered from the gust of winter air that entered their house. 

“For f-f-fucks sake, R-Richie,” he could hear Bill groan. 

“I was just so excited to see all of you,” he gestured to himself, “forgot to put clothes on.” Bill pushed past him, entering the house as he hated the cold and didn’t want to stand outside any longer. “Oh, yeah! Come in.” He moved aside more, holding the door open so they could come in. “And who-” he stopped, remembering that he and Eddie were meeting Stan’s wife for the first time ever. “Ah, shit. This is not the first impression I wanted,” he told the blonde haired woman holding onto Stan’s hand. “Oh God, Eddie’s gotta save this,” he mumbled, “Hi! I’m Richie Tozier,” he reached over, shaking Patty’s hand, “so glad Stan the Man found someone. I thought he’d be alone forever.” 

Patty laughed, but Stan wasn’t having it. “Nice to meet you, Richie. Stan’s... said a lot of great things.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you, dude,” Stan said, holding up a middle finger, causing Richie to laugh. 

“Yeah, fuck you too. I am a delight.” 

“Richiiee, the house is beautiful,” Beverly said, moving over to pull him into a hug, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“You think so?” He wrapped an arm around her, “apparently three people were killed here. Eddie didn’t want to go for it, but... the house has history. Nice wholesome family home. You guys want kids?” He nodded towards Patty and Stan. 

“Richie,” Bev said, lightly smacking his side. 

“What?!” 

“Oh, God, where’s Eddie? We need you to shut up,” Ben said, glancing around. 

“We’ve been trying,” Patty said with a smile, pressing up against Stan’s side so he wrapped an arm around her, bringing her in closer. 

Everyone could tell just the look on Richie’s face he was going to make a stupid, awful joke. So there was a collection of “Beep beep, Richie”’s from everyone. 

“I didn’t say anything!” 

“You were going to,” Mike said, taking a seat on their couch,��“Eddie!” He called out, “come get your man!” 

There was a small bumping around coming from their bedroom before Eddie came out fully dressed, a stern look on his face at whatever it was Richie could’ve said. 

“Richard,” Eddie said in between clenched teeth, a wave of ooooh’s filled the room, “what did you do?!” He stomped into the room, but once he saw Patty his entire mood change. “Oh, hi,” he said to her, “I’m Eddie,” he held out his hand, shaking hers in return. 

“I’m Patty, it’s really nice to meet you.” 

“I’m sorry you already met Richie.” 

She giggled. “No! It’s okay, he’s sweet. In his… own loud way.” 

“Wooow,” Richie said, folding his arms over his chest, “rude. I love her.” 

“Eddie, the house is beautiful,” Bev said, moving away from Richie to give him a hug. 

“Y-yeah, h-h-how l-long did it t-take to clean?” Bill asked. 

“Probably like twenty years,” Ben added playfully. 

“Twenty- like…” Eddie was trying to think back when he actually started cleaning up, with Richie making a constant mess it kept setting him back, “I dunno, a week.” His eyes moved back over to Richie who was still in his boxers. “Jesus Christ, dude. Go put on some clothes.” 

“Awww, don’t be jealous, Ed’s. I’m still taken only for you,” he said with a wink, causing Eddie’s face to turn pink before moving back to go put something on. 

“Something nice!” Eddie yelled over his shoulder. “We overslept,” he told the Losers before plopping down next to Mike on the couch. 

“That’s what you get for overworking yourself,” Stan added. 

“I don’t overwork myself.” 

“Eddie, honey, you do,” Bev added, linking hands with Ben, “everything looks great I promise.”

“You know what else looks great?!” The Losers could hear Richie yell from his bedroom, “anyone who isn’t Eddie come in here and tell me what you think!” 

“I am not going to look,” Stan announced, folding his arms. 

“Oh, I am!” Patty said happily, dropping his hand to catch up with Beverly who was accompanied by Ben and Bill

Mike didn’t want to know either. He had a long drive and didn’t want to stand up yet, he was too tired and just had a feeling he was going to shake Richie for whatever stupid prank he had planned. 

“Sorry we overslept,” Eddie apologized, seriously feeling bad about it. 

“It’s okay, Eddie,” Mike said, patting the smaller mans back, “we’re all here and that’s what matters.” 

“For the first time in years it actually feels like a holiday,” Stan added as he took a seat on a fold out chair, “we were glad you invited us over. Patty wouldn’t stop talking about it since.” He smiled as he thought of how excited Patty became when Stan asked her if she wanted to meet up with his childhood friends for their own holiday. It was priceless. 

“Richie!” 

“Do not wear that around Eddie.” 

“H-he’s gonna k-kill you, dude.” 

Eddie groaned when he heard Ben laughing hysterically, sitting back on the couch pinching the bridge of his nose. He should’ve guessed that Richie had something planned for today. The moment Richie steps back into the living room Eddie had the feeling he was going to beat him up as soon as everybody left. This was the guy Eddie wanted to marry? Unbelievable. 

The four Losers came back out without Richie, their faces red from laughing so hard trying to contain themselves when they saw Eddie’s face. 

“It looks great!” Patty said, giving Eddie two thumbs up as she sat down next to Stan. 

“We gotta c-call the funeral home once Eddie sees him.” 

“How bad is it?” Eddie asked them, moving his hand from his face. 

“It’s goo-... it’s….” Bev stopped, trying to think of the right words to say, “it’s festive,” she settled on. 

Ben couldn't say anything as he was having issues trying to contain his laughter and eventually had to cover his mouth. 

Would it be too soon for Eddie to start drinking the cheap alcohol that they picked up? Either way, he was going to be the first one to drink tonight. 

“Just…” Eddie out a sigh, “let’s see it, Richie!” He called backed to his room. 

Eddie could hear the sound of Richie’s socked feet and slight jingles as he was making his way into the living room. He had to close his eyes, he wasn’t sure what to expect, even thinking the worst case never prepares Eddie for whatever jokes Richie had in store. 

Somewhere along the way Richie had put on a headband that had little antlers on the top that provided the source of the jingling. The moment he stepped into the living room Ben lost it again, basically crying as he laughed. 

“Goddammit, Trashmouth. What the fuck is that?” Stan demanded before letting out his own laugh. 

“Eddie. Eddie. Look at me. I bought this because of you and I want you to look.” 

“Don’t look, Eddie,” Mike said in between his own laughter. 

The smaller man let out a deep sigh before moving his hand away from his eyes. What he saw standing in the living room made him want to deck Richie as hard as he could. With that trademark goofy smile he was wearing an ugly holiday sweater with an elf plush at the bottom with the words When I Think About You I Want To Touch My Elf. 

“Whatdoya think?” Richie asked, his hands out by his sides waiting for an answer.

“I hate you. I hate everything about you. You are sleeping on the goddamn couch forever. I cannot stand you,” Eddie said slowly, his face turning red. Why was Richie like this? 

“Aww, he likes it!” 

“I do not like it! The second you take it off I am burning it.”

“Oh, in that case I will never be taking it off. Mike! What do you think?” 

“Eddie can we put him outside for awhile?” Mike asked, completely ignoring Richie. 

Everyone was agreeing with Mike on that one. 

“No! Trashmouths don’t like the cold. We thrive in warmth. Like in an uptight risk analysis’ warmth.” He plopped on Eddie’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck so Eddie couldn’t just shove him to the floor. 

“Where’s the alcohol?” Eddie asked as he tried to stand up, a loud dramatic whine came from Richie as he did as if to say pay attention to me. 

“Why can’t we be like that?” Patty asked Stan. 

Stan’s face was actually priceless. If he ended up getting married to anyone like Richie he would rather die. He was quiet and reserved and Richie… Richie was the opposite of that. 

“I th-think if a-anyone had to be with Richie they would th-throw themselves off a c-c-cliff,” Bill added with a smirk on his face. “S-s-seriously Eddie, how do you d-d-deal with it?” 

“Lots of alcohol.” 

“Please. You drink once or twice a month and get drunk with one drink. You love me!” Richie planted a kiss on his cheek. 

“They were made for each other!” Bev added, playing with Ben’s fingers. 

“Yeah, they’re both annoying,” Ben added. 

“We’re not annoying!” Richie and Eddie said at the same time. 

Richie scoffed, “None of you will be getting presents then.” 

“No wait.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Shut up.” 

The evening was nice. The Losers spent almost an hour opening their gifts, they were all super nice and thoughtful. Richie went on a long rant after opening up his present from Stan as he had gotten him a kids joke book with a card that read: Use these, they are probably better than your jokes (: he joked that he was going to use these up on stage then thank Stan personally for giving him new material. Everyone could tell before looking at the name tag on the gifts which ones were from Eddie, as his wrapping skills were seriously unmatched. Then you had Richie’s who looked like a kid was trying to hurry up and get through the wrapping process. 

It was nice catching up with everyone again face to face rather than texting or the occasional phone call. They all went out to get pizza before finishing up the night with cheap alcohol. Eddie had tried to convince Richie to change his shirt before leaving the house, but the comedian was having none of it, saying something about how the world needed to see his Sunday Best outfit. Of course, while they were out Bev and Patty took plenty of pictures and selfies with the other Losers (even if it was against their will), just to remind them that there were more Loser Holidays coming up in their future. To Eddie’s horror there were fans of Richie who asked to take a picture of him wearing that god awful ugly sweater that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on and burn. 

Overall it was a great night with great food and so-so alcohol. Nobody really got drunk except for Eddie, who anyways, was always considered a lightweight. Everyone was trying to convince him that he loved Richie’s sweater, but drunk Eddie still wasn’t having any of it, saying if he had to he would burn Richie alive along with the shirt. 

This was the holiday spirit that they all remembered and missed dearly. The staying up late telling stories about their childhoods, laughing and spilling alcohol everywhere on accident, hell, just for the fun of it, the eight of them played truth-or-dare like they would used to. Of course, Richie would make anyone who picked dare lives miserable. There was a reason none of them cared for the overhyped and oversold holidays, because this was the best one. The one where you’re surrounded by friends you’d consider family over your own family having an amazing time. That was the best type of holiday.

Apple or AT&T—Who's More Evil?

Let me start out by saying that I get it. I really do. Companies have to make money. Successful companies with great products deserve to make money. Apple and AT&T? They both make wonderful products and provide top-notch services. The problem is, for some dumb reason, they both like making as much money as possible. And the easiest way for them to do that is to keep us, the consumers, buying their new crap. Convincing us that we need it and that there's no other alternative. So when a company gets that big, when they can leverage their power against the little people, what stops us from finally getting fed up, throwing our phones in the toilet, and going back to smoke signals? Well, to answer that, I need to tell you what brought on my recent frustrations (as if any specific examples need to be given)…

Problem 1: The Man With the Data Plan

My wife and I went on a cruise a few weeks ago. And like most Americans with 1st-world problems, we had to decide whether we wanted to 1) go a week without cell phone or internet access while we cruised across international waters…yeah, right, 2) buy an international data plan from AT&T, or 3) purchase access to our ship's Wi-Fi access. In the end, it looked like the Wi-Fi package would be the cheapest, so that's what we went with. My wife was careful to turn off all wireless data to all apps and services on her phone (I just kept my phone turned off all week. I would have thrown it in the ocean and never looked back if she'd have let me) as directed on the various FAQs she found, and she logged onto the ship's Wi-Fi without complication. Smooth sailing… or at least we thought so until we received our AT&T bill. Yup, you guessed it—$100 worth of charges for iMessages and calls.

Problem 2: Disposable Phones

My wife and I bought new iPhone 7s two years ago. It was a great time in our lives. I remember the occasion fondly because it was the same day that our sweet Avery (two years old at the time) dressed up in her yellow "Beauty" princess dress and took in her first movie theater experience with Mommy and Daddy. Well, fast-forward two years, and we just paid off those phones. And lo and behold, my wife updated her phone earlier this week and within 30 minutes…it stopped working. Not completely, just the microphone, which, contrary to this smart phone generation's beliefs, is kind of important. And there was "nothing" that could be done to fix it. Which meant, just when we were free from the clutches of our AT&T contract and iPhone debt, we were sucked back in. Sure, the wife would get her fancy new phone, but at what cost?

So off we went to the AT&T store. We spoke with our customer representative (Ayla, which is easy for me to remember because it's the name of a cavewoman character in my favorite video game of all time, but I digress…), and she was great. She upgraded our antiquated data plan, made sure we understood the new plan, showed us where things could be improved to fit our needs, let us know who to contact about the $100 charge on our AT&T bill, and put up with our two insane daughters while my wife got her new phone set up. All in all, it was a great experience, but it was one that should never have happened in the first place. Why? Because Apple is intentionally breaking their older iPhones (if two years is considered "old") so their customers will buy the newest model. If you're not aware of this practice (YES, it's real, and it's confirmed by Apple's corporate reps), read on. If you know about it, feel free to skip the next three paragraphs.

First, imagine a perfect product. Let's use a fish aquarium heater as an example. Its job is simple—heat water to a specific temperature so your tropical fishies don't freeze to death. A company could easily create a heater that would last for decades, but why in the world would they do that? Even if they charged double the price of typical heaters, they would still lose money because in those two decades' time, its customers would by three or four of those "disposable" heaters that crack or short out from routine use. So it just doesn't make financial sense for them to make a durable product when they could make one that works just long enough to keep the consumer coming back for more.

Now, take that principle to the tech world, and we have to look at things a little differently. For those of you old enough, you remember those first Nokia brick cellphones well. Why? Because they were indestructible, their batteries lasted forever, and they had service EVERYWHERE. They were perfect phones. Except, the most exciting game on them was Snake, and within a few years, the Blackberry (and all of it's thumb-injuring successors) had overshadowed the poor, reliable Nokia despite its inferior construction. In this way, the tech world kept consumers buying new products every year because the amazing technology advanced so rapidly. I mean, you'd be insane to use those boring old bricks that could only make calls and use T9 to text when there were newer phones out there that could take pictures and check electronic mail!

Then something happened. The technology started to stagnate. It kept improving, but not nearly as fast. All phones had cameras, internet access, and most importantly, apps. At that point, if a phone didn't break, it could be used forever while the user just downloaded whatever new apps that came out. Sure, the new apps would take up more space and demand stronger processors and whatnot, but a frugal user could make due for years and years. And that kind of return just didn't work for the tech companies. If they were ever going to be able to swim in a vault filled with gold coins a la Scrooge McDuck, they needed to find a way to keep selling new products that consumers had no real reason to buy. And so, they invented the "update." Oh yes, you NEED this update! It'll keep your phone safe. It'll keep it running smoothly with all those new apps. It'll keep it… updated. But we should mention that those updates will eventually fry your phone's "old" processor, forcing you to fork out a grand every couple of years.

I'm not going to pretend to be tech savvy enough to outline every reason for this (and that's not what this blog's about, anyway), but we've all been victims of the sudden battery death, random crashing, and in my wife's case, microphone failure that happens immediately after one of these "updates." And as I said, this practice is documented and admitted. For the big companies, it's essential to keep them afloat. Heaven forbid that they keep giving us actual reasons to buy new products. No, they've already perfected the smartphone, so instead of creating something new, they've found ways to keep selling us the same thing. It's brilliant, in an evil mastermind sort of way.

Okay, back to the story. My wife got her new phone. She was safe for the next couple of years (though it's just a matter of time before MY phone dies of update sickness…), so now it was time to take the fight to AT&T's retentions department and see about that $100 charge on our bill.

Round 1: I called 6-1-1 and I spoke with the level 1 boss, though I didn't catch her name… She told it to me, but I didn't catch it. She was polite the entire time. She explained how there were, in fact, charges on my bill and how those charges were because we'd used data and call services in international waters. I explained (politely) that we hadn't authorized these usages because we turned off all cellular data, etc. and only used Wi-Fi while out of the country, and that I didn't plan to pay these extra charges. 30 minutes later and she let me know that she was going to "send this case up," and I should get an email within 24 hours. "No," I said, again politely, "I think I'll just talk to someone now." Brief (ten minute) pause, then [insert name here] said, "One moment please."

Round 2: Level 2 boss's name was John, and his accent fit his name. He, just like Level 1 Boss, took a good while searching through the charges and getting back to me, but he also remained completely polite the entire time. He explained that the Wi-Fi packages on most cruise ships only cover international water usage, and our AT&T charges had come while we were docked in port in Haiti. Why? Because my wife's phone started using the Haitian towers (instead of the cruise line's Wi-Fi) without our approval. It made perfect sense whether it was true or not, but John went on to tell me that, while he may not be able to get ALL of the charges removed, he would do what he could because we were, "…long-time valued customers." His words, not mine. Five minutes later, John took me off of hold and told me that he obtained approval to take $75 off of the bill, so we would only have to pay $25. Truth be told, I had no intention of paying ANY of that bill, but my interaction with John was so pleasant (I didn't have to ask him to reduce the bill. I didn't have to bring up the fact that we were valued customers, or that we could take our business across the street to Crickett Wireless. He knew all of these things, and he that knew I knew them. And he got the job done, or close to it) that he'd gained my respect. I wasn't going to fight John over the remaining $25, even if it did take over an hour to get that $75 knocked off. Game over. Roll credits.

So here's the thing—I'm a huge skeptic. With everyone I worked with throughout this debacle, I know that there's a possibility that they were all just working off of a script. That they did exactly as they'd been trained, performing damage control and getting every cent possible out of a tough customer like me. After everything, it's possible that AT&T and Apple still won. But at least they played the game. At least these REAL people listened to me and answered my questions, and in the end, the interactions were extremely pleasant. Yes, I get that I'm a number to the companies, but I was a person to their employees. And they treated me with respect. And I did the same with them.

My title poses the question of who's more evil between AT&T and Apple. Unfortunately, I don't have the answer to that question, but in THIS case, as much as it hurts me to say it, the bigger evildoer is definitely Apple. Why? Well, in AT&T's case, their charges were legitimate. My wife incurred roaming charges in Haiti because of the cruise line's failure to explain how their services worked. And even if John straight up lied to me about that, his company still only wound up stealing $25 (and one hour) from me. Apple on the other hand… they're openly breaking their own phones so their loyal customers have to buy new ones. And those new phones cost a whole lot more than $25. Yes, our experience in the AT&T store was pleasant while buying that new Apple iPhone (thanks to Ayla), but it should have never come to that.

In the end, we're victims of our circumstances. We're brainwashed by brilliant marketing. We're forced into competition with our neighbors. And there's only one thing I can say as I finish up typing this scathing report on my Apple MacBook Air—Joke's on you, Satan, er, Apple. Money's not real. No one really owns anything anymore. There's no privacy. No Freedom. The only things we have are our experiences, our interactions, and our attitudes. And as the days get longer and the grass gets greener, I can't help hoping Y2K is just running fashionably late (all you millennials should Google Y2K along with The Matrix and Surge soda. There's so much you've missed…). In the meantime, I'm going to go cut my grass with a lawnmower that's older than every piece of technology I own, and believe it or not, it's never had a single update. What a world.

compulsive shopping

something I never thought I would be dealing with. for one, I was never a big spender. since being very little, I hated the thought of people having to spend money on me and I was very good at saving it. yet I've never bought as much as I have the past year and I don't remembered why I bought most of the things or even what they were. which means I've never owned as many unnecessary things before. during that year I also spent all of my savings including some money I’ve had put away for years and rarely touched before because I never had big needs that would require extra money. whenever I reached for those savings this year it felt like an emergency, I planned on putting it back there after my next paycheck, but I never did - some new purchase would always seem more urgent. “I was living from paycheck to paycheck. I was living FOR the paycheck”*(The Minimalism documentary). pretty early on I found myself in a financial crisis and had a lot less money to spend, unfortunately it wasn't about how much I would spend, but the way I would spend it.

since I can recall I’ve always hated spending money going out, going to movies, eating with friends, buying food for myself - it seemed like such a waste of money - on something that lasted a moment instead of something material that I could have forever and that would bring me joy and serve purpose. or better yet, multiple purposes, right? too bad I wouldn’t use anything for long. I own some clothes that I wore literally once or twice. most things I would get were horrible quality and poor source which I was aware of. a lot of clothes didn't fit me, therefore didn't serve purpose, but instead would make me feel frustrated with what I looked like. and the joy, momentary excitement, dopamine kick - that was what would initially drive my constant need to buy new things, but it would last less and less time. the rush I would get from checking out “inspirations”, looking up things, reading product reviews, planning purchases, placing orders, waiting for deliveries and then using those items for the first few times- gradually it shrunk to feeling excited until the end of each transaction. I haven't even worn something, I didn't even get it in the mail, I would already look for something else, I was already hung up on something new. I had never-ending lists in my head of stuff I wanted to get next, that I needed next. I had a few private Pinterest boards specifically for that, that's what all my Instagram likes went to. and I would obsess over them. that’s what I would spend all of my free time on. my energy, thoughts, motivation to get up, to work, to survive through bad days. to live, I guess. they were my treats for doing well, my consolation prizes and my what the hell’s. I didn't plan on buying 10 things at once, but just this one and, of course, these two. while still in my head, most things felt essential, unlike previous ones- I was crazy getting that previous item, but this? I clearly need this. if I look better, I’ll feel better.  my shopping habits were gradually becoming more impulsive and compulsive. I was no longer thinking through or questioning what I needed, practicality was not high on my list. I would almost never try on stuff, I would base my decisions on the fact that I liked the way something looked on someone I saw. usually on Pinterest or Instagram- so people of completely different proportions, physical features, lifestyles, preferences and identities - not me. it usually looked good with other articles of clothing that I didn't own, so when shoes arrived in the mail and I wasn’t so sure about them, I would sometimes convince myself that I also needed different trousers, t-shirts, different colours or materials to go with them, that would solve it. when I had less money, I would buy more, but cheaper items. it made so much more sense to buy multiple things for less. and if it’s cheap, why think twice?what's the harm? I actually knew enough about the harms of fast fashion industry, but I chose to ignore them. I thought I couldn’t afford to be environmentally conscious, to make ethical choices, to consider people behind products, to pick more intentionally. I couldn’t afford to buy as many quality items, so I chose quantity over quality. and it’s hard to appreciate quality, when you get bored and dissatisfied with everything so quickly. but each time it felt like that one item was the one that would perfectly fill in the painful space in my life, each product seemed ridiculously important for a short while, it somehow was supposed to be the start of a new life- a toothbrush that, at least in the pictures, matches my bathroom tiles and other beautiful, pure, and organic-looking sink accessories that I was getting next; or a running windbreaker that I can fold into the size of my fist and that might not go with any of my clothes, but I could always have it with me and it would help me save space in my giant everyday backpack full of other essentials. it felt like every little thing would weirdly define me for a second. that when I pick a product, I decide what kind of a person I am. but who I was and what I liked was becoming very blurry.

style and clothing felt like such an easy way or opportunity to redefine or redesign myself. it gave me a sense of identity, it was a symbol of a different better life. and when I was out of ideas for myself and my life, any image that gave me a sense of what I lacked i.e. self-confidence, self-respect, ease, balance or even better social skills or ability to fit in among certain people sounded great. I reached a point where there were too many different voices saying what would make me feel better and I would get very confused. not even with what I needed or wanted, but as to what I liked, what was aesthetically pleasing. which btw, while not the most important in life, comes in pretty fucking handy when you work as a product designer and a craftsman. that lead me to my worse state. I could change my mind about what I wanted to look like, which subconsciously translated into whom I wanted to be, in five minutes while randomly scrolling through a board of pictures on my Pinterest or checking out my Instagram feed. it didn’t come out of nowhere, I was never able to stick to the same clothes, I went through so many stages, I tried out more haircuts within the last five years than most people have in their lifetime. I actually would feel sorry for people who had the same hairstyle their whole life and wore the same type of clothes for years- how boring are you and how unadventurous is your life? I didn’t see the integrity some of those people have, the lack of need to fix what already works, the peace, the contentment, the blissful zero fucks to give about something this empty and unimportant. I thought they lacked sensitivity, awareness and were afraid to experiment or take a risk, while it seemed natural for me to play around, constantly research, look for something. I even convinced myself that I had to be that way to keep an open mind and my creativity levels high. but when it got out of control and started changing so fast I couldn't keep up with it, I realised how much my low-self esteem was being used by the industry convincing me to want new things to fix me and immediately hate the old ones. definitely wasn’t news to me as a phenomenon, but took me a while to realise that it affected me, and how much. as those things tend to, it aligned with various work stuff, break ups, prolonged health problems, family conflicts, other everyday stuff and social media apps, including Instagram and Pinterest, have become my pacifiers, a way to push away all sorts of thoughts, issues, anxiety, to look away, to avoid, to calm down, to entertain myself, to distract me and keep me busy. once I realised just that, they stopped working that well. I suddenly felt like notifications, badges, sponsored posts, fake smiles, free trials, special discount codes, pictures carefully selected for me were attacking me more and more, but none of them no longer made much sense. it all quickly turned into an uninteresting, disturbing, worthless noise and waste of my time that I was able to, surprisingly easily, let go off. sadly, that didn't make my shopping urges and impulses go away. in fact, I still have to fight them pretty much every day and it will take a while. but I really want to work on this. work on this by not letting things be more than things are and define me or change the way I feel about myself. even though I don’t feel great about myself right now. I want to end this post on a positive note because I’m really feeling incomparably better most days now, but the truth is I obviously just started uncovering some stuff and it’s not pretty, so it might take more than giving up retail therapy.

if you can relate, feel more than free to message me, bother me, ask me questions, but beware I might recommend you an endless list of podcasts, essays and videos that helped me and that my friends can’t take any more. if you can’t relate, you lucky fuck, hope you found this interesting. and if you did, the interesting part actually is the shit that happens next, now that I’m taking steps to live a simpler, slower live, without all that excess bullshit, so stay tuned.

▌a review: tango on the campania (tokyo)

Kuroshitsuji: Tango on the Campania ミュージカル「黒執事」-Tango on the Campania-

Specific spoilers and my impression of the new kuro musical in ACT Theater Tokyo (Jan 2, 2018)

My background: I’m more of an opera and live orchestra person, and don’t really like musicals. I’ve been to about four operas, a couple of orchestras, one broadway (Book of Mormon), and a bunch of concerts. But of course since it’s kuroshitsuji, just like the film I had to go see my favorite arc in person! I have never seen any of the other kuroshitsuji musicals and probably only would to compare them to this performance. I feel some kind of way about this adaptation and will be honest, I’m not thrilled with it and have more critiques than praise. I have some ideas of why, and will try to detail them here.

I can’t really think of a basic review to write, so this post will be all spoilers and detailed kuromyu thoughts. Bring tea, & proceed at your own risk! 

Firstly, お疲れ様 to the cast. I could tell they all worked hard, and at the end Sebastian urged us to come see it again despite tickets being sold out. I think he said this only because he knew their performance was flawed tonight. I’ve seen the movie about...7 times now? And I’d watch it again in an instant. But this musical leaves more to be desired.

I have a lot to say about this production. I have gripes with some of the actors, and possibly the production crew (the higher ups who gave this play a pass so quickly), as well as the direction. I am quite certain this particular showing will not be the one on DVD.

~ warning: there are spoilers after this jump and it is a lengthy read; do bring tea ~

***There are no personal in-session photos within this post. I respect the management’s wishes for no in-session photography. The photos below were found on this theater guide site.***

The Stage

A normal theatre stage for play performances. I sat on the second floor within two different vantage points, marked red above. I sat on the right side first, and then switched seats with someone to sit on the left side next to my friend, @takasuno. I enjoyed both vantages and didn’t see a major difference of the stage from either side. The left side is tilted a bit more, but nothing major.

Production Set-up / Stage Arrangement / Costumes

This production really knows how to make the Kuroshitsuji setting come to life. Every single actor was beautifully dressed to become their character (acting skills, character interpretation, and talent aside...). However, all bloody scenes were interpreted using the stage screen in the background. It is nice for fighting scenes and such, but is disappointing that not once did Sebastian nor Ciel change into bloody clothing. The characters all looked perfect for the entire duration of this play, and that takes away from the setting of a sinking zombie ship. 

I enjoyed the stage layout and props, and it tells the story of a sinking zombie ship pretty effectively despite the lack of bloody clothing. I really enjoyed the use of the screens onstage to help propel and narrate certain scenes; very clever use of space. However, this also proved to be a weakness with the performance for certain actors.

I can certainly tell the actors worked in overtime to prepare for this play. Thy only had 4-5 months to prepare, but I’m not so certain they were as confident as they wanted to be. I say this because the stage flooring was littered in stage tape. The tape was quite distracting from the overall setting of the story, and certain actors made obvious mistakes in their footing throughout the show, including major characters like Undertaker and Sebastian (details below). These footing and placements mistakes made the experience flawed for me. I really hate to say that, but after seeing so many successful live performances one would think a standard of near perfection is in order? If your actors aren’t comfortable with their positions, they need more time to prepare.

The Acting

BEST 

Druitt (Sasaki)

This man KNOWS his character. I honestly thought the real Druitt was on that stage performing, and I think he is the star of this play. He was funny, authentic, completely in character, loud and boisterous, extra af, dramatic, and gross in that Druitt-charming way. He’s not my favorite character at all from kuroshitsuji but damn, Sasaki makes me like this character so much more. He was a joy to watch and all of his songs were favorites. I think his second song with the full cast dance is my favorite one. That hip thrust introduction almost made me fall out of my chair!!! That dance also made all of the characters do very interesting poses (spread eagle Sebastian and Ciel? YES, PLEASE).

Grell (Uehara)

This is another actor who must live, eat, and breathe their character before coming on stage. Grell’s somehow slowly become one of my favorite reaper’s in the series after the BOA movie (I used to hate him), and now after seeing him come to life from the manga, I am in love with Grell! His singing wasn’t the best of the bunch, but I loved his mannerisms and Grell-esque way of walking, carrying himself, speaking to others, and interacting with Knox. They kept the titanic scene with Knox (we get it twice), and I thoroughly enjoyed his dramatic iceberg entrance on stage. I kept my eyes on Grell for a lot of the play, and of all the bromides to choose from, I would have purchased his!

Elizabeth (Okazaki)

OMG, this was Elizabeth. I was uncertain about her at first, but as the play continued on I loved her enthusiasm for the character and interaction with others. She has a very lovely speaking and singing voice, and performed strong during the entire play. I enjoyed Elizabeth’s reveal scene, as well as her monologue narration, which played out beautifully with the stage prop screen. As she was dancing, I thought the background shadow was her own until that shadow danced away from her back! Very impressive acting and singing. She gave the character justice and was a joy to watch.

Snake (Harashima)

Not much to say, other than his voices were phenomenal and he played the part well! He really did sound like multiple people as he voiced his snakes!! They kept the scene when Ciel tells him to have self confidence and gives him the food to eat, and the scenes under the ship when they discover the soulless dolls.

Francis Midford (Akisono)

Woooow, this woman can sing! Her voice was strong, commanding, and still feminine. Her stage costume was one of the best. Every time she came on stage I had to watch her move. My second favorite song has to be “We Are Midford” because it was funny seeing how serious they were and that silly foot movement going on. She gave me newfound appreciation for the character, and I would have also purchased her bromide. 

WORST

Oh dear, there are a lot of /meh/ characters that disappear into the background, but these are the ones who disappointed me the most, continuing on from bad to worst.

Undertaker (Izumi)

Costume on point? Check. That deep voice and high cackle? Yep. Interaction with others? Alright. But Izumi irritated me throughout this production, and here’s why:

Undertaker make two obvious mistakes: he blocked Grell too soon with his hidden scythe, making the stage screen a second or so behind the visual and sound effects to go with it. It was awkward. I let this slide, but a few scenes later Undertaker overestimated his steps, and was in the wrong position on stage for the scenes to follow, correcting it as needed, but making it rather awkward for me to witness. These are little things I suppose, but my eye were on him so closely because he’s freaking Undertaker. I’m sure with more practice these kinks will iron themselves out, however there were plenty more form others within this performance that made the experience flawed for me. 

Undertaker needed more practice on stage for this production, or tonight was just a bad night for him. His mistakes stood out so much to me that I began ignoring him completely to focus on others. I did enjoy his reveal song, however his big reveal was also a huge disappointment. It did not seem to have that “THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MANGA MOMENT” feeling in the same way that Elizabeth’s reveal held within this production. It was like...his hat is off, he says a few lines, and no one really cares. As well, his hat went back on, and he wasn’t really revealed for the rest of the production. Ciel didn’t take his lockets, which seems to be an important part of this arc as well, which reinforces my thought that this musical is more about the music created for the stage, and not so much about manga/story accuracy. Overall, I just don’t think Izumi had his whole heart in it tonight, and that’s disappointing.

Ciel (Uchikawa)

One would think Ciel would be the star of the show (or at least think he is?), but he really isn’t, and is shows in his stage presence to me. He seemed like a wallflower, blending into the shadows, and that’s just not the Ciel Phantomhive that I know. He looks the part, and he certainly tries to be the part, but I don’t fully believe him. I think it’s the little things that made me feel this way: when he is injured, he isn’t really injured. His limp lasts barely a scene, and then he’s fine again. When he’s falling on the sinking ship, he’s not holding onto dear life at the banister OR his demon butler. There are so many moments that make me wonder if Ciel trusts Sebastian to protect him because honestly Sebastian is nowhere to be found when Ciel is just being attacked by zombies! I won’t go further here since it goes under Sebastian’s comments, but I had a really difficult time believing that this character is Ciel, that Sebastian would really treat Ciel the way he does in this adaptation, and that Ciel feels comfortable calling himself Ciel Phantomhive. 

He also had a difficult time posing in the Phoenix Pose. At first I thought this was on purpose and a part of his character, struggling to keep the pose, but then I doubted it because there is a number when every single character on stage had to pose for an extended period of time. It must be those heels, so ganba to him. Hopefully with more practice he can nail it!

He’s so cute, and I know he tried so hard. But overall Ciel was boring for me; he just didn’t shine here.

Sebastian (Furukawa)

See that hand, holding Ciel back? That’s about as much protecting of the Young Master you’ll get.

MY BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IS SEBASTIAN AND THAT IS BAD BECAUSE I AM A STAN.

I’m a Sebastian stan first and foremost. I like to delve into his character psyche and uncover what he’s truly about through the manga and my own headcanons. He’s more than what we perceive his sexuality to be, he’s more than some kid’s butler, and he’s more than just a kickass demon. So obviously when I see him portrayed live on stage, I have some expectations. 

I think my ultimate gripe about Furukawa is this: Sebastian is a fictional demon character, and Furukawa is a human trying to portray a fictional demon character. Furukawa can never win because he just isn’t a demon. However, that is the beauty of acting, right? It’s done so well that I forget I’m watching a human play dress up. Yes, he can sing, and yes, he sounds nice speaking Sebastian’s lines to our little Reo. But I struggled to believe him tonight, I truly did. Here’s why:

1) Sebastian sings too much :

He’s the star of the show. It’s all about hearing Furukawa sing. And boy, can this man sing. He’s got a lovely voice, and a strong assertion when he hits that right note. But I got tired of it very quickly. I’ll admit, this may be because I am not a fan of musicals, so I may be heavily biased. But after the 3rd or 4th song, I was pretty checked out of Sebastian singing. Like, can this demon go and save his human already? I was ready for him to shut up and just be Sebastian.

2) Sebastian doesn’t seem to care about Ciel’s safety :

He never really seemed to protect Ciel. I don’t expect him to lift Ciel because Ciel might be too heavy to realistically carry around stage; he’s singing so much that he’d sound atrocious if he did try to carry him + sing + dance + fight, but I at least expect him to act more like he gives a damn about Ciel’s safety? Like, not leaving him on the third floor of the ballroom area to get eaten by zombies? It was like...”oh snap, Ciel’s up there so I need to rescue him!”, when it should be more of an innate feeling--why aren’t you up there with him to begin with? Maybe just...stand by his side more often and act like you’re trying to help him walk on that nonexistent limp? Because of this, I didn’t get much chemistry between the actors at all, actually. Something was missing between these two title characters, and It think it’s that acting bond/chemistry. They look the part, but they don’t portray it well. 

3) Sebastian isn’t a perfect butler :

He did make some mistakes. He went behind the animation screen a second too late. HE DROPPED CIEL’S RING. He recovered easily from it, but everyone clearly saw the wardrobe malfunction and it was unfortunate since everyone is in character. It broke the veil of the character, which is a shame since his interpretation of the character is already flawed to me.

4) Sebastian is never injured :

Sebastian never has any wounds, including from Undertaker’s scythe. This honestly baffled me. I get it, screen time is only a precious 2 hours and you have so much going on in-between scenes, but it is almost unacceptable, that they didn’t then have him change into a bloody jacket or splatter him with wet makeup before the stage lights went on. They had the time. He also never seems weak when wounded; he literally sits immediately back up like he wasn’t just STABBED WITH A SCYTHE after Ciel yells at him in earnest.

5) Sebastian’s cinematic record drove me insane :

For the start of the entire flashback scene, it’s reenacted in slow motion with the dancers holding Sebastian and Ciel up, and then the stage goes black and is rearranged for Sebastian’s reel monologue. During this set up, they heavily use the large stage screen and the zombies as props. I thought it was a clever use of space and actors. Sebastian and Ciel preform two songs, and I enjoyed them a lot, however their execution wasn’t the best (Sebastian messed up here with the timing of going behind the screen). The only saving grace of the flashback scene for me was the songs; I enjoyed 後少し (I think it’s called that, it’s the song after やり直し part). I also enjoyed the general use of the stage screens to explore Ceil and Sebastian learning how to be in each other’s lives. They also used live props (a chair and bed).

HOWEVER, despite some small saving graces of this scene, my biggest peeve of all has got to be the entire record reveal scene for this reason: he is a LAZY new butler. I didn’t like the portrayal. He was swaggering onstage, speaking lackadaisically and formally yet informally (that irritated me to no end!!!! how can you use such formal keigo language but sigh and jest at the same time????!!!). I get he’s trying to portray the demon who doesn’t really want to be there; thinks his master is being ridiculous and demanding, but the Sebastian I met in the manga didn’t show that irritation in front of Ciel when they first met! Besides the bath scene (when Sebastian grabs Ciel by the mouth and tells him how it’s going to be here on out), I don’t understand why this extra swagger is added throughout the scene. I didn’t like it at all and it made me disappointed. 

Sebastian just wouldn’t act that way in front of Ciel; he tried harder than that when they met, and that’s what makes him amazing. He didn’t carelessly set the tea platter down or toss the spoon in the kettle like it didn’t matter to him, he didn’t swagger around like posture and poise didn’t mean something to his vain image, and he didn’t speak so arrogantly to Ciel. Like, I really want to say I see the vision that the actor was trying to portray, but all it did was annoy this fan and make me want the scene to hurry up and end. 

6) Sebastian is suddenly Dracula? :

In his /demon/ form he only wore a big black cloak over his butler costume and tried really hard to make his voice deeper. It honestly came across as Dracula hunched over on the ladder of the building prop. It was so extra and unnecessary. I thought he was trying too hard to come across as menacing. I think it would have been better for him to have extra prep time to change into all black, or at the very least fully cover his butler attire since he hasn’t even met Ciel yet.

7) Sebastian isn’t really a monster, but a beautiful performer :

In his big bloody fighting scene in the basement, they portrayed it using lots of red cloth material on stage. It was a lot of dancing, hooded figures, and red carpet-material flying about. Despite all the acrobatics, it felt like something was missing. I can’t put my finger on it...the song was very nice, and the dancing was great, but this scene was also one of my least favorites of the adaptation, which is another disappointment. They also utilized puppets that were painfully placed on stage, and it was awkward seeing him dance with them. It would have been better to abandon the use of puppets since it is the only time they used them. At the end of it all, the zombies disappear, and Sebastian isn’t told to change his gloves. I was surprised Ciel let him touch him after that bloody battle without clean gloves. 

And for the final boat fighting scene, again, Sebastian spends more time singing than actually fighting, and it was a bit odd seeing the zombies dance beneath the water like that while he preforms. But also by this point I’d completely checked out of Sebastian and was just done with all the singing and wanted him to go away.

Some Saving Graces

All of Druitt songs! So entertaining and lively! My favorite was in the second act solely because we see Sebastian dance and then sit spread eagle for a good portion of song, and that was quite fun to watch

I also enjoyed seeing Knox dance and sing, and he was very true to his character. I think I would listen to his song the most

“We Are Midford” making me smile and laugh a lot

Hearing so many actors sing live

Getting to change seats to sit with my friend!

The first zombie coming to life!! The music and dance was truly entertaining and I enjoyed the dancer; she’s very talented

All of the zombie dances; a very good use of space and creativity to interact with the title characters

The Phoenix Pose, anytime they did it was hilarious and adorable!!

Differences from the Manga

...that I could catch or remember

No William T. Spears

Ciel did not take Undertaker’s lockets (or if he did, I missed it, but I saw them still on Undertaker after the scene...)

Zombies appear to attack everyone regardless of species (attack reapers and Sebastian, but aren’t they only attracted to human souls?)

Sebastian spots the iceberg first

Sebastian doesn’t swim or anything; that entire scene was cut and replaced with him spotting the iceberg before the captains see it and crash

Ciel doesn’t demand Sebastian not touch him with his filthy gloves

Grell and Knox exit scene does not include William, but adds a second “titanic” moment scene

Closing Thoughts

I do look forward to tumblr getting the bromides and gif sets, because the stage and costumes were all truly gorgeous and deserve to be spread around. 

But overall, I think that because I am not a musicals fan, I likely expected much more than I received (more character chemistry and accuracy), and received more than I was expecting (too many Sebastian solos). I also learned that the experience of something like this live verses seeing an edited dvd makes a world of a difference. I will probably enjoy the dvd version more to be quite honest, but I have no interest in purchasing one.

I’d give it a C, or 3/5 stars, and I wouldn’t see it live again. I much prefer the movie if I had to choose between watching one or the other. I miss Ono Daisuke already! ♞

Editorial: ‘Til the Money Runs Out

(Unless otherwise clarified, all prices are MSRP, or manufacture standard retail price)

The subjectivity evident in any critical analysis of a book, movie, or board game is–I would hope–obvious. Value, however, feels far less subjective. 

How much someone is willing to pay for something varies greatly depending on the person, not only based on what we’re talking about, but also how much money that person has. With that out of the way, let’s talk about a sticky wicket in the hobby of board gaming: value.

It wasn’t long ago that this idea felt less nebulous, with value often coming down to the argument of collectable games vs non-collectable games. Things are a little different now. Collectable card games (CCGs), expandable games/living card games (LCGs), legacy games, campaign games, mystery games, and consumable games have gone a long way in complicating a once-simple(ish?) idea. These days, everyone has an idea of what’s a good value, and what’s not. Lots of people have axes to grind against games deemed “of poor value.” I’ll try not to fall into such a black and white box.

When I originally thought about writing about value, my main angle was simple: Magic (1993) vs an LCG, like Android: Netrunner (2012) or Lord of the Rings: The Card Game (2011). As a former fan of Magic transformed into an avid LCG fan, I bristled at the less than rosy coverage most LCGs received from the gaming community, in regards to value specifically. I knew firsthand how expensive a collectable game like Magic could cost. With a 15-card Magic booster pack costing $3.99, and a booster box of 36 booster packs coming in usually around $100, it gets expensive quickly. Individual cards can be bought online for anywhere from 10¢ to $50+, this is a deep hole that is hungry and ready to eat you alive.

For anyone who has not played a collectable game, it is set apart from LCGs by randomness. A collectable game is purchased in packs of randomized cards, so oftentimes you will purchase a pack and get nothing you want or need. This happens far more than you would believe. LCGs/expandable card games are unique because they are available in fixed, non-randomized sets, whether that be small expansion packs of larger deluxe expansions. The rub is that these will cost more. For example, the typical small expansion pack for an LCG is typically $14.99, but you know exactly what you receive in that expansion, and additionally you’ll receive multiple copies of each card–something that never happens in collectable packs.

This distinction alone is worth a deeper dive, but we’ll only gloss over it briefly. Head to head LCGs or expandable games (like the now OP Android: Netrunner, Legend of the Five Rings (2017), Doomtown: Reloaded (2014), or Game of Thrones: The Card Game (2015)) offer a large pool of cards with a fixed distribution. You would conceivably be able to buy the core set for one of these ($40), plus perhaps four small expansions ($60 total), which puts you in at $100. For $100, you could buy a booster box of Magic cards and maybe build two strong decks, if you’re looking to have a satisfying experience. The randomness will throw a wrench in here, because you could theoretically get enough good cards for more than two solid decks; you could also get mostly junk.

Reviewers often balk at the LCG model, because while it appears to solve the money-pit aspect of CCGs, they are still not cheap. That being said, for people who are merely interested in the game–but not deck construction, LCG core sets offer plenty of introductory level gaming to help you discern whether you actually like a game or not. If you do, and you know what you like about the game (eg factions or mechanics), the set expansion packs allow you to build up where you want. Why buy an expansion pack for a faction you don’t like or don’t play? You don’t have to!

The cooperative LCGs are a different story. They, too, have the $15 expansion packs, but in addition to cards you’ll add to your pool for deck construction, you’ll also get quests to play against, essentially a typical “expansion” that brings in additional content beyond merely deck construction.

Whether it be cooperative or head-to-head, LCGs are expensive, but unlike CCGs, LCGs have simultaneously removed both the excitement of the blind buy as well as the frustration of the bad buy. Granted, in the small box expansions, you’ll still be getting cards you don’t need or don’t want, but at the very least, you will be getting at least a few cards you know you want (if not, uh... why did you buy it? Do your homework!).

As a player of both Lord of the Rings: The Card Game and Arkham Horror: The Card Game (2016), I would argue that the best value for me in LCGs probably lies in the cooperative line. By giving players both quests to pursue as well as player cards tailored to those specific quests, these small packs never feel incomplete. And, I would argue, getting a core box of Arkham Horror or Lord of the Rings is a great value as an introduction to satisfying, well-supported systems.

Beyond card games, the water actually gets far muddier when you expand what you’re talking about. Legacy games and escape room games (which is a term I’ll use to encompass both consumable games and “mystery” games that, once solved, can’t really be replayed satisfactorily) have managed to blur the lines in terms of value considerably. Let’s start with legacy games.

A legacy game is a game that evolves the more you play it, and with the exception of Charterstone (2017), most legacy games cannot be played beyond the completion of their main narrative arch. For example, Pandemic Legacy (season one or two) leads the players through a series of games that add up to a long-form narrative. As the games unfold, the rules of Pandemic will change, as will the cards, board, and other components, making the last game wholly unique from the first. However, once completed, you can’t play it again. You may as well recycle your game. Charterstone, Stonemaier Games’ take on the legacy game, at least leaves you with what amounts to a custom-designed worker placement game that is replayable. Legacy games can be played anywhere from 10-20 times before you complete the story. That being said, because they have so many components, they are usually quite expensive: Pandemic Legacy (2015/2017), $70; Charterstone (2017), $70; Betrayal Legacy (2018), $75; Rise of Queensdale (2018), $80; and the peril-plagued SeaFall (2016), $80.

After looking at these numbers, take a minute and compare them to the LCG/CCG numbers above. Yes, they are cheaper, but they also have a limited lifespan. Is a legacy game worth $70-$80 if you can only play it 12 times? That’s about $7 per play, cheaper than (or at least comparable to) a movie ticket for a good night spent gaming. Seems like a decent deal, right?

What about consumable or “mystery” games? In this case, I’m looking at you Exit (2016), Unlock (2017), and T.I.M.E. Stories (2015). Other games will fall into this category too (further escape room games or a host of Sherlock Holmes or similar mystery-type games, like Consulting Detective (1981) or Chronicles of Crime (2018)), but these three games are hyper present in the hobby today. Both Exit and Unlock retail for $15, but they will each offer a one-time experience only. Unlock games are mystery-based, so once you’ve worked your way through, they essentially can’t be replayed because the answers will all be known. As for Exit, this is probably one of the more controversial because it is literally consumable. At the end of a game of Exit, that $15 game you bought is now destroyed. Cards are cut, the book is written on or torn up, maybe event the box is destroyed. Unlike Unlock, you can’t even trade it to someone who has not yet played it. Each set of Unlock and Exit is unique, offering lots of new games, but it’s a flat $15 each time you play. Still cheaper than a night at the movies.

Which brings us to T.I.M.E. Stories (2015). T.I.M.E Stories is essentially a board game version of Unlock: card-based and entrenched in a branching narrative with puzzles. You’ll play one set of T.I.M.E. Stories maybe three times, at most, before it’s completed and cannot be replayed. The core box ($50) sets you up with the components and one mystery. Additional mysteries are available in modular expansions for $25 each. At its heart, T.I.M.E. Stories is most analogous to a BluRay player, with each expansion being a new BluRay you pop in to watch. In the long run, it’s also the most expensive of the bunch.

So what’s the point of all this? Board games are expensive, but you know that. Your average big box board game (ie not a traditionally labeled “filler game”) runs anywhere from $30-$60 MSRP. 

Ah, but who pays MSRP these days? you’ve been muttering this whole time.

Who’s paying MSRP? Well, if you’re looking to support your brick and mortar local game stores, you should be. Yes, this is a tough case to make, because money is money. It’s hard to rationalize spending $90 on Scythe (2016) to support your local store when you can buy it online for $52. I can try to make my best possible case for spending that extra $40, but like I said, it’s a tough sell. $40 is a whole other game. I’d like to say I only shop local, but it’s simply not true. This hobby is expensive, and while I buy local when I can, more often than not I buy online from brick and mortar places like Cool Stuff Inc or Miniature Market. It’s worth making a case for buying local, though. Do you like having a local store? If you want to keep having a local store, shop there. Support them. Give them your money when you can. It’s hard out there for brick and mortar stores. And please, don’t expect a brick and mortar store to sell at online prices. I don’t want to have to explain profit margins; in almost all cases it’s just not feasible.

In the long run, what does this all mean? I could throw my opinions at you endlessly about how I think T.I.M.E. Stories is, for Player Two and I, not worth it, or about how Exit is worth it, or legacy games don’t work for us, but that’s not what I’m here for ultimately. I guess I’d like people to ease up on LCGs, and maybe think twice about those hot hot big box legacy games, or remember to pass on their Unlock games to friends or families to get extra miles out of those small boxes. The breadth of the hobby is wide, and it is getting wider every year. Ultimately, you need to decide what you’re willing to invest, and in this case I don’t just mean you money, but also your time. Which of these games will you get your time value out of? If you buy a legacy game with shoddy mechanics, it will fail you on value across the board, because you won’t even finish it. LCGs or CCGs will offer you–theoretically–endless play, but if you don’t like the game enough, or it’s not nuanced enough to sustain those theoretical infinite plays, what’s the point?

The best advice I can give new gamers is to start small. Do your homework on small box games first. There’s a reason that in our first episode recommended gateway game was Oh My Goods! (2015). It’s a quality game that teaches new players a lot about engine building euros, it’s got decent replayability, it’s got two expansions, and it’s only $15. If you are new to the hobby, figure out what you like. Don’t run out and buy Lords of Hellas (2018), Batman: Gotham City Chronicles (2019), or Gloomhaven (2017) on a lark, because you’ll be unloading tons of money on something you may loath.

There’s nothing wrong with starting small. Trust me, in the long run, it will save you a lot of time and money.

Pulse Points Ch 11:  The Final Chapter

Many, many thanks to all of you who have supported this story and taken this journey with me. I cannot thank you enough, and know I read and cherish every review and appreciate every reblog and retweet so very much!  

This chapter is specifically dedicated to my precious friend and soul-sister @lillie-grey  as a belated birthday gift. Please forgive me for being a week late! And I’m leaving this verse open-ended so prompts and requests will be welcome. :)

With that, dear readers, I hope you enjoy! You can read it here or on ff.net. 

Christ, her feet hurt.

 Regina had followed Mary Margaret from Babies R Us to Buy Buy Baby, from Victoria’s Secret for some post-pregnancy lingerie, now that the new mom had been given the green light for having sex again, to Barnes and Noble for what supposedly was supposed to be an “in and out” errand. Said errand had morphed into a prolonged search for a children’s book that was ironically out of print, followed by coffee in the bookstore’s cafe and an impromptu nap for Baby Neal. Her friend had more energy than most new mothers, Regina mused, especially those who’d undergone an emergency C-Section only weeks prior, and she was glad to see Mary Margaret acting more like herself again. She just wished her feet weren’t paying the price for her friend’s unexpected burst of energy. She took another sip of her Flat White as she snuggled her godson to her chest and rubbed his back, relishing his soft weight and his sweet baby scent as his head rested on her shoulder.

 “Alright,” Mary Margaret stated, checking her watch as she returned from the restroom and took a final sip of her Frappuccino. “I think we should probably head home now.”

“Thank God,” Regina muttered, kissing Neal’s downy head as she stood. Her knees popped as her lower back protested, making her curse the questionable logic of wearing heels this afternoon. Snazzing up a little on a Saturday after wearing sensible shoes to work all week had been an appealing option this morning.

  She should have known better. She’d agreed to go shopping with Mary Margaret, after all.

“Haven’t you had fun?” the younger woman questioned, tugging the diaper bag over her shoulder as they made their way towards the exit.

 “A laugh a minute,” Regina returned, squinting as they stepped outside and sunlight struck her squarely in the face. Her sunglasses were buried in her purse and nigh on impossible to reach with a three-month-old snuggled into her chest. She shielded Neal’s eyes with her hand until Mary Margaret opened the car door, allowing her to lay the infant in his car seat and fasten him in securely. “I thought you said we’d be gone an hour or two when you called this morning, not half the damn day.”

 “Language,” Mary Margaret chided.

 “He’s eleven weeks old,” Regina said, clicking her own seat belt into place. “Besides, I’ve heard you say worse.”

 “His brain is developing at a rapid rate,” Mary Margaret returned. “And I don’t want it filled with profanity at such a crucial stage.”

 “Then keep him away from his godfather,” Regina shot back. “Killian would be a gold medalist if profanity were an Olympic sport.”

 “He’s doing better,” Mary Margaret argued. “Dating that social worker Emma has mellowed him out somewhat.”

 “He’s about as mellow as a crocodile,” Regina said, earning herself an eye roll from her companion. “Are you late for something?”

 Mary Margaret’s eyebrows shot up.

 “No,” she answered. “Not at all. Why would you think that?”

 “Because you keep checking your watch,” Regina stated as they pulled out of the parking lot. “You’ve been doing that all day, actually. Are you trying to put Neal on a new schedule?”

 “Something like that,” Mary Margaret said with a smile. “He’s sleeping better at night since we started supplementing my breast milk with formula, so we’re adjusting his naptimes to help him sleep through the night.”

 “Something I suggested you do weeks ago,” Regina reminded her. “May I remind you that I’m actually a pediatrician and know a bit more about a child’s health and development than those lactation blogs you follow.”

 “I know, I know,” Mary Margaret confessed. “And I should have listened to you instead of being so stubborn. He actually slept through the night last night for the first time.”

 “Who? David or Neal?”

 Mary Margaret snort laughed, making Regina chuckle, and they were lulled into a comfortable silence by the sweet melody of Mozart’s Cello Sonata in D Major wafting out of the car stereo speakers. The new mother’s insistence on playing classical music to support Neal’s cognitive development was something Regina actually enjoyed and vastly preferred to her friend’s standby collection of Barry Manilow and Air Supply CDs. She paused and looked over her shoulder to check on Baby Neal, his now chubby cheeks still slack in slumber.

 “Anyway, the extra sleep seems to be doing wonders for you. Your energy level has skyrocketed.”

 “It’s helped a lot,” Mary Margaret agreed, casting her eyes to the clock on her dashboard. “Regina, do you mind if we run through a drive-thru? I’m really thirsty.”

 “Are you kidding?” Regina asked. “We just had Starbucks.”

 “I need water,” Mary Margaret stated. “I’m starting to get a headache.”

 “We’re only ten minutes from my place,” Regina stated. “Can’t you wait that long? You can’t be dehydrated already, nursing mom or not.” She sighed as her friend turned into the McDonald’s parking lot and got into the longer of the two car lines. “Did you and David have a fight?”

 “Of course not,” Mary Margaret replied, eyeballing Regina suspiciously. “Why would you ask that?”

 “You just don’t seem to be in any hurry to get home,” Regina answered. “Especially after we spent twenty minutes in the Victoria’s Secret fitting room so you could find something red and skimpy to knock his socks off.”

 “I’m just enjoying time out of the house,” Mary Margaret said. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to do this. Besides, you and I haven’t had much girl time over the past few months, you know.”

 This was true enough. Between Mary Margaret being placed on bed rest the last six weeks of her pregnancy, Henry breaking his arm while trying to steal third base, Roland having to get glasses, Neal being a colicky baby, Regina being appointed as head of pediatrics and her increasingly serious relationship with Robin, life had kept them from seeing much of each other over an unseasonably hot summer. She hoped fall would grant them all some much needed down time to catch their breath and reconnect.

 “I know,” Regina admitted. “And I’m sorry I haven’t been able help out more with Neal. Some godmother I’ve been.”

 “You’re an amazing godmother,” Mary Margaret assured her as she pulled up to place her order. “Don’t ever doubt that, okay? Do you want anything?”

 “From McDonald’s?” Regina questioned, scrunching her nose. “No thank you.”

 “Your loss,” Mary Margaret quipped as she proceeded to order a bottle of water and a side of fries.

 They travelled home via a roundabout way, Mary Margaret muttering something about avoiding construction traffic Regina knew nothing about as she cranked up the air conditioning yet another notch.

 “Still hot natured, I take it?” Regina observed as they finally pulled to the curb in front of her townhouse and parked. Mary Margaret glanced around the neighborhood, absently uttering Yeah before exhaling audibly.

 “Don’t forget your shopping bags,” the younger woman reminded Regina.

 “Bag,” Regina corrected, holding up her solitary purchase from Victoria’s Secret, a sheer royal blue negligee she’d purchased with a certain blue-eyed restaurateur in mind. “I have one. You’re the one with a commercial armada packed into your trunk.”

“Babies require supplies,” Mary Margaret stated. “And diapers take up a lot of room.”

 “I know,” Regina returned as she stepped out of Mary Margaret’s Accord. “I have a son, remember? Just don’t let that red teddy get lost among all the Huggies.” She tossed her friend a wink before shutting the car door and waving, wishing she were brave enough to tug off her shoes here and now rather than waiting until she walked through her front door.

 God--putting her feet up sounded like heaven.

 The smell of something wonderful struck her as she walked up her front steps, a smell that made her mouth water and her stomach nearly cave in on itself. She hadn’t put anything into the crock pot this morning, and she turned, looking to see if Robin’s Outback was parked anywhere nearby. It wasn’t. He was supposed to have taken Henry and Roland to the Boston College football game this afternoon, and she couldn’t imagine that it would be over already, which left her with a problem.

 If Robin wasn’t here, who the hell was cooking in her house?

 She opened the door and stepped inside with caution, stunned into momentary silence by the sights and smells that greeted her. Her house looked like a scene straight out of a Hallmark movie, accentuated by the swoon-worthy aromas of Alonzo’s eggplant parmesan, Marco’s garlic bread and something decadent, chocolate and most-decidedly to-die-for. August and Alonzo stood side-by-side by the stove wearing professional-grade aprons, nodding their greeting as she strolled through her kitchen into the family and dining room area.

 Her curtains had been drawn, the main lights dimmed, jar candles and strands of white lights strung haphazardly about now her sole sources of light. Her dining room table was decked out to the nines, covered by a black tablecloth, accented by white napkins and a bouquet of multi-colored zinnias mixed with sprigs of lavender tastefully arranged in a mason jar. She recognized her good china laid out perfectly, a set she’d purchased for herself after her engagement ended years ago, and she strolled towards her pint-sized maître d’, a slicked-back, suit-clad, grinning-his-face-off Henry, who stood perfectly erect with a white cloth slung over his left arm.

 Her son had never looked more handsome.

 “Welcome to the Locksley-Mills Trattoria,” Henry stated with a bow. “Your reservation is ready, madame.”

 Her heart pounded in her temples, her throat now bone dry as Roland strolled to the table and pulled out a seat for her. The curly-headed wonder decked out in a tux was probably the cutest sight she’d ever seen, and she scoped the room, looking for his father, suddenly very aware of what she believed was happening here.

 Robin was going to propose. She knew it as clearly as if he’d just popped the question.

 But he was nowhere to be seen, not yet anyway, which was probably a good thing seeing that she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to form a coherent sentence in her present state. This had to be why Mary Margaret had kept her occupied all afternoon, so Robin and his band of merry men could turn her home into an Italian restaurant that somehow reminded her of the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp.

 Dean Martin quietly crooned That’s Amore as she let Henry guide her to the table, smiling at Roland’s toothy grin as she nodded her thanks and sat down. Roland’s over-sized script labeled her place card in bold red marker, and she felt the beginnings of tears form as the boy unfolded her napkin with a flourish and placed it in her lap.

 “Would you like some water?” Henry asked as he set down a glass he’d filled to the brim. She took a sip immediately, afraid that if any of them even slightly jarred the table there would be a mess to clean up before the evening had even begun.

 “Thank you,” she managed, clearing her throat. “This is just what I needed.”

 “We have wine, too,” Roland added. “But Uncle August wouldn’t let us pour it for you. He said if we spilled it on your outfit that you’d be really piss…”

 “That’s enough, Roland.”

 His voice ran over her senses like warm molasses, making her insides feel sweet and sappy all over. He was behind her, the scent of his Bvlgari Pour Homme Soir making her shiver, his proximity making every nerve ending stand at high alert.

 “Good evening, love.”

 He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her neck, one she moaned into, one that made her legs feel like jelly and her toes curl in her shoes. She turned to look up at him, blown away by how delectable he looked in the dark blue suit he’d donned for the evening. He was gorgeous, this man of hers, all dimples and silver streaks, scruff and toned arms.

 “Robin,” she murmured, smiling as he sat in the seat across from hers. He took her hand in his own, kissing her knuckles, discreetly nipping one finger the way he knew that she liked. “So where have you been hiding?”

 “In the bathroom,” he returned with a grin. “I had actually just gotten changed when I heard you come in.”

 “Good timing,” she mused, casting another appreciative look at his attire. “I should probably go change myself. I feel underdressed compared to you.”

 “No need. You look perfect,” he hummed, her skin vibrating under his words. “You always look perfect, especially when you’re undressed.”

 She rolled her eyes at his play on words.

 “I don’t think that would be appropriate for the occasion, seeing that we have an audience.”

 Roland giggled from the kitchen, earning himself an exaggerated shhhhh from Henry.

 “Shame,” he returned, planting a soft kiss on the top of her hand. “I should have requested a private table.”

 She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She just sat there, looking into blue eyes that were staring at her as if she were the Crown Jewels and they a pair of renegade thieves preparing to seize her on the spot.

 “Shall I pour you some wine?”

 Marco had stealthily made his way to their table and stood there watching them with a ridiculous grin on his face. He held a bottle of her favorite Malbec towards them for their perusal, popping it open with a corkscrew he’d hidden in his inner suit pocket with a flourish.  Her heart sped around the room in twenty directions at once, and she sucked in air, feeling warm in some places and chilled in others. She watched Robin as the older man poured the wine, pressing this moment into memory, her gaze honing in on the bare ring finger on her lover’s left hand.

 Oh, God. This was it. He was really going to propose tonight.  She swallowed, picking up her wine glass as she attempted to steady her breathing.

 “To us,” he said, raising his glass in her direction. His voice wrapped around her intimately, like broken-in leather caressing bare skin.

 “To us,” she echoed, taking a sip, closing her eyes as warmth slid down her throat and blossomed in her belly. Her chest ached, her head felt heavy, and she took another sip of wine, hoping it would help settle her racing heart, feeling her cheeks overheat instead. Roland chose that moment to lay a basket of breadsticks on the table, giggling again as he walked away and Henry set down a plate of caprese.

 “This is nice,” she managed, shivering in spite of the warmth when he licked his lips.

 “It is,” Robin replied, setting down his wine glass. “Pretty perfect, if you ask me.”

 She smiled at this, picking up a breadstick, hearing her stomach beg loudly enough for all of Boston to hear as the aroma tickled her nose.

 “Our best dates always seem to start with your stomach making noises,” he teased, reaching out to take a breadstick for himself. She paused mid-bite before chewing, swallowing and taking a drink of water.

 “Then it’s a good thing you own a restaurant,” she shot back. His chuckle made her feel giddy, girlish and lightheaded, and she reminded herself to breathe, to focus, to pay attention to details she’d want to recall later.

 “I agree,” he hummed. “Seeing as I might never have met you if I didn’t. And that would be a tragedy, indeed.”

 He looked into her, past every defense and barrier, stroking the silken threads of who she was, declaring volumes of adoration without uttering a word. His hand found hers again, and he stroked her fingers with his thumb, paying particular attention to her left ring finger as her breath hitched in her throat. She nearly jumped out of her seat.

 Yes. There was definitely going to be a proposal tonight.

 She was ready for this, she was certain of it. She loved Robin Locksley with the intensity of a category five tornado, a love so strong she’d once held it in reserve for Henry alone. But Robin and Roland had changed that, had shown her that love shared is love expanded, had helped her feel at home in her own body again, whether that body was out bowling with her favorite boys, washing dishes at the restaurant or wrapping itself around a spent, sweaty naked man who’d just pleasured her beyond reason. Her boys had helped her feel at peace with the heart that beat steadily in her chest, had assisted her in letting go of the last strands of guilt that had kept her from living the life Marian’s heart had granted her to its fullest.

 She would hold back no longer. No--she would seize this proposal with both hands, would set a date for a small, family wedding as soon as reasonably possible, and would ride her fiancé into the mattress tonight once their boys had gone to sleep.

 “God, you’re gorgeous.”

 The words crept up her arms and over her nipples before heading south to tickle her nether regions.

 “You’re not so bad yourself,” she breathed, closing her eyes as he continued to stroke her fingers with his thumb. “And I have to admit, I’m pretty impressed by this set-up.”

 He gave the room a once-over, nodding his approval.

 “As am I,” he agreed. “Our boys clean up pretty well, don’t they?”

 She chuckled under her breath and nodded before taking another bite of bread, its hot, buttery deliciousness only adding to the night’s perfection. Did he have the ring in his pocket, she wondered, or was he perhaps planning to have it served up on a plate in front of her at some point during the meal?  What sort of ring had he chosen, anyway?  Round? Oval? Marquis? Traditional or modern design? Gold, silver or platinum?

 Henry and Roland chose that moment to deliver salads, small plates of arugula, spinach, walnuts and pears accented by a vinaigrette of some sort that was profound in its simplicity. Christ, she loved how well Robin’s family could cook. She’d have to step up her time on the treadmill once they actually tied the knot.

 “This is delicious,” she remarked, gesturing towards the salad. Robin nodded as he took a sip of water.

 “One of August’s specialities,” Robin stated. “His own recipe, in fact, one he developed after completing that cooking class in Tuscany a couple of months ago. He’s actually as good a cook as Marco and Angelo and could open his own restaurant if he ever chose to do so. Just don’t tell the two of them that I said so.”

 She grinned before taking another bite of her salad.

 “It’s lovely being around men who can cook so well,” she said, taking a sip of wine to steady her nerves. “I could get used to this.”

 He bit his lower lip, shooting sparks of desire everywhere at once.

 “I hope you do,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers. “Because I could get used to a lifetime with you.”

 Oh, shit. This was it, she thought, nearly tipping over her wine glass as she sat up straighter.

 “Could you?” she managed, wondering if her pulse was actually audible.

 “Oh, yes,” he returned, leaning forward and reaching for her hand across the table. “I most certainly could. Could you?”

 She swallowed, nearly choking on her own saliva, and grabbed her water glass to try to stop coughing. Robin quickly stood and walked behind her, rubbing her back until she could breathe freely again.

 “I’m okay,” she managed, taking another gulp of water. “You didn’t have to get up.”

 “Self-preservation,” he retorted. “I was afraid you’d spit water on me.”

 Water then flew out of her nose as she tried to stifle a laugh, spewing over her beautiful salad, much to her chagrin.

 “Don’t worry, bella,” Marco called from the kitchen. “I’ll get you another.”

 The clank and clatter of dishes danced with the slowing rhythm of her coughs and their ebbing laughter as Robin continued to stroke her back until her breathing steadied.

 “There you go,” Marco announced as he set down a fresh plate of salad. “Good as new. Now, why don’t the two of you continue where you left off, eh?”

 She felt Robin’s fingers still against her spine just before he leaned down and dropped a kiss onto her temple.

 “I believe that requires privacy, Marco,” Robin replied.

 The older man tossed them an exaggerated wink before tiptoeing back to the kitchen and crying out, “You don’t see me. I’m not even here.”

 Robin moved back to his chair as she adjusted her napkin and checked her dress for water damage, dabbing at the few spots she found.

 “Damn it,” she whispered as she finally gave up and took another sip of wine. “I certainly know how to kill the mood, don’t I?”

 He was grinning at her like the proverbial Cheshire Cat, gazing at her with a mix of humor and tenderness that wrapped her securely in its coils upon contact.

 “You’re nothing if not moody,” he returned. “But I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

 Her heart sped up again as her internal temperature ramped up another ten degrees. Shit, she was sweating, a decidedly unromantic aesthetic just before the love of her life was about to pop the question.

 Or was he? Was she absolutely certain that was going to happen tonight?

 Perhaps she was reading this all wrong--the in-house restaurant, the tux-clad boys, the melodious crooning of Diana Krall in the background as he continued to stare at her as if she could do no wrong. Perhaps this was just a date, and she was setting herself up for one hell of a letdown. Christ, she needed to know, needed to ground her expectations in what was definite rather than what was desired, so she worked up her courage, trying to find the words she needed that would either hurry this proposal along or let her know that an engagement wasn’t in the cards tonight.

 She heard him swallow and inhaled, breathing out through her mouth as she dove in head first.

 “Robin--”

“Regina--”

 They spoke simultaneously, chuckling in time with each other.

 “I just wanted--”

“I was wondering--”

 They paused again, mouths open, eyes curious and confused.

 “Please,” Robin said. “Go ahead.”

 “No,” Regina returned, shaking her head. “You first. I insist.”

 He cleared his throat and took a sip of water, his actions prompting her to sit taller as anticipation tickled her skin. His exhale tugged her forward, towards him, towards a future, towards the family she’d always wanted and finally had.

 “I was just going to tell you that I’m very impressed with what you’ve put together tonight,” he began, gesturing around the room to emphasize his point. “This took some serious time and effort, and I’m beyond honored that you went to all this trouble for me.”

 Wait. What?

 “Excuse me?” she whispered, certain she hadn’t heard him correctly.

 “Thank you,” he grinned, reaching out to stroke her arm. “For this. For being willing to take a chance on this oaf of a restaurateur and for bringing light back into my soul and life.” She breathed in and out, thinking yes--she had misheard what he’d said earlier, or perhaps he’d just misspoken. After all, if he was about to propose, he was bound to be nervous. But then he took a sip of water and said the last thing she expected to hear.

 “Whatever else you have planned for the evening, I want you to know that I’m absolutely game.”

 Her insides froze as her mind ran three steps ahead of her, realizing that she hadn’t misunderstood what he’d said moments before.

 “What I put together?” she repeated, staring at him in utter confusion. “Robin, I didn’t do this. I thought you did.” His mouth fell open, and he blinked repeatedly. “Didn’t you have Mary Margaret occupy me all afternoon so you could set this up?”

 “No,” he answered, looking just as baffled by her revelation as she was by his. “Frank kept me busy all day working on a never-ending list of minor repairs to the restaurant. Then he told me you’d called and that it was time for me to pick up Roland at your place, so I showered and came right over, although he insisted that I park around back for some reason.”

 “Pick up Roland?” Regina repeated. “I thought you took the boys to the football game this afternoon.”

 “What football game?” Robin asked, looking genuinely perplexed. “I was under the impression that you’d taken them out to the movies. At least, that’s what your text said.” He proceeded to take out his cell phone and pull up the text message in question to show her.

 “I didn’t send that,” she said, wondering what in God’s name was going on here as she stared at a text she didn’t write. “But I did get one from you asking if Henry could join you and Roland for today’s game.” She paused, taking another drink of wine, wondering just how she’d emptied her glass so quickly as her evening spun out of control around her. “I thought you were…”

 She stopped, biting her lower lip before her heart toppled out of her mouth and onto the table between them, mortification tasting bitter on her tongue.

 “What?” he questioned, leaning forward to take her hand. “What did you think, Regina?”

 She inhaled sharply, fighting duelling urges to cry and crawl under the table.

 “Nothing,” she lied, trying her best to swallow. “I was being stupid, and…”

 “You’re not stupid, sweetheart.”

 “You don’t know that, Robin!”

 “I do know that, Regina, you’re one of the smartest people…”

 “I’m being ridiculous tonight--Shit! I’m sorry. I need to shut up before I ruin--”

 “Did you think I was going to propose?”

 Her breath caught in her throat, the room spiraling around her like an off-balance crazy house. Dizziness seized her as he spoke what she’d tried so desperately to hide, and her lungs constricted, making breathing next to impossible.

 “Because it’s alright if you did,” he continued, his voice taking on the texture of honey as he began to stroke her fingers as he’d been doing earlier. “I actually thought you were about to ask me.”

 Her eyes rounded, her mouth gaping open as words played hard to get.

 “You did?”  she asked, feeling decidedly hot all over. “You thought I was going to propose?”

 “I did,” he replied, stroking her ring finger purposefully. “I mean, it’s the logical conclusion when you take in all of the factors, don’t you think?”  He paused, watching her closely until she nodded slowly. “The in-house restaurant, being kept out all day...I can see why you would have thought the same thing.”

 “You can?”

 The words fluttered off of her tongue, weightless yet full of feeling.

 “I can,” he assured her. He stared into her again, licking his lips as his voice dropped half an octave. “And if you had proposed, I would have said yes, you know.”

 Her heart stopped as everything around her blurred into oblivion except for the man across from her.

 “You would have?” she questioned, her heart pounding relentlessly in her temples.

 “Yes,” he returned, his voice as intimate as a caress. “I would.”

 Her ribs expanded, her heart nearly exploding out of her chest as the reality of what he’d just said began to sink in.

 “So would I,” she whispered as a tear broke free and trickled down her cheek. He reached out to wipe it away with his thumb, his smile so broad she felt embraced by it. “I would have said yes, too.”

 He swallowed down emotion she could sense from across the table as he blinked back tears of his own.

 “So if you would and I would,” he began. “Then why don’t we?”

 She gaped at him, trying to speak, wanting to nod, attempting to do anything besides sit in dumb confusion as she was currently doing. She cleared her throat, moving her lips in silence before her tongue finally caught up.

 “Why don’t we?” she echoed, melting from head to toe at the broad smile that covered his face.

“Robin--is this…?”

 “It is if you want it to be,” he interrupted, caressing her knuckles with his thumb. “If you’re ready to make this forever. Are you, Regina?”

 Oh, God. Forever. Yes--yes, she was definitely ready for a forever with this man and their boys. She was nodding as an array of tears fell down her cheeks, smiling as the word Yes danced up from her heart and tickled her tongue, ready to leap towards the man she loved just before a whisper out of nowhere cut her off.

 “Do it, Dad! Do it!”

 Decidedly boyish giggles then erupted from the direction of the couch.

 “Shhhhh!” an older voice cut in, one she recognized instantly as Henry’s. “Don’t ruin it!”  

 “I’m not ruining anything,” Roland whispered back, pausing as he seemed to realize that he’d been overheard by the adults. “Uh oh.”

 She held back a laugh, nearly choking on it as Robin stifled a chuckle. He cleared his throat yet again, entwining her fingers with his own.

 “Do you think that perhaps we’ve been set up?” he mused, his eyes wandering from her to the sofa behind which their sons were obviously attempting to hide.

 “I think the possibility is very strong,” she answered, doing her best to stifle another laugh as Roland whispered We’re busted.  “You might as well come out,” Regina added, leaning back in her seat. “We know you’re there, boys.”

 “I told you to be quiet,” Henry hissed just before two heads peered out from behind the top of the couch.

 “I was being quiet!” Roland insisted as they puttered out from behind their fortress, their heads hanging low, their faces as obvious as a neon sign. “I only whispered, Henry.”

 Henry rolled his eyes at the younger boy’s logic, daring to look at his mom for a second before dropping his eyes to his shoes.

 “So boys,” Robin began, leaning back in his seat and studying them. “Are you two responsible for putting this dinner together tonight?”

 Henry and Roland looked at each other before each of them nodded slowly, refusing to make eye contact with either of their parents.

 “And were you also responsible for sending misleading texts both to me and to Regina to keep us busy and away from her house today?”

 Roland sighed heavily as they nodded again, only to be interrupted by August who’d strolled into the room from the kitchen.

 “Henry texted you,” the other man said. “But I sent the one to Regina about the football game. I didn’t quite trust Roland’s spelling skills.”

 “Football is hard to spell,” Roland admitted with a shrug. “So is stadium.”

 Regina’s lips trembled as she fought down a smile, reaching for her wine glass before she remembered that it was empty.

 “I see,” Robin murmured, raising a brow towards his cousin. “And was this your idea, August, or did you send that text at Roland’s request?”

 “He didn’t have to twist my arm or anything,” August admitted with a shrug. “But it wasn’t my idea.”

 Robin’s eyes locked with Regina’s, the spark of amusement that was obvious to her somehow lost on their boys who looked as if they were about to attend their own funeral.

 “And why did you think it necessary to mislead us as you did?” Robin continued. “Couldn’t you have just asked us if you wanted us to attend such an elegant evening? ”

 The boys couldn’t look guiltier if they tried, and they stared at each other before turning their gazes back to their parents. Henry looked like a convicted felon, Roland like a whipped puppy.

 “We didn’t mean to lie,” Henry said, swallowing hard. “We actually wanted to do something nice for you two, something special.”

 “This is very nice,” Robin agreed. “But why all the secrecy?”

 Roland huffed as loudly as the big, bad wolf, squaring his shoulders as he decided to bite the bullet.

 “Because we wanted you to propose.”

 Regina’s eyebrows shot up as the smile lines creased further around Robin’s eyes.

 “You wanted me to propose to Regina?” he asked, leaning forward towards his son.

 “Yeah,” Roland admitted. “Or for her to propose to you. It didn’t matter--just as long as you two got engaged.”

 She inhaled sharply, wishing for another glass of wine with all she had.

 “You want us to get married?” she questioned, her eyes moving from Roland to Henry. Her son finally lifted his gaze to her own, and he grinned, making her heart leap into her throat as he nodded.

 “We do,” Henry replied, looking from his mom to Robin then back again. “We want to be a real family, official and all.”

 Her cheeks were wet, and she dabbed at them with her napkin.

 “You, too, Roland?” Robin asked, smiling as the younger boy nodded back.

 “I don’t remember my mom,” Roland admitted as he took a step towards the table, those baby browns of his melting her heart like warm wax. “And Henry’s never had a dad.”

 “So it works out well for all of us if you two get married,” Henry cut in, moving in closer. “Roland gets a mom…”

 “Henry gets a dad, I get a brother,” Roland jumped in, walking right up to the table, feeling bolder by the second. “And you two can stop worrying about who's staying over where at night and stuff.”

 Her heart was thudding again, two words amidst many drumming out a steady tattoo in her chest.

 “You want me to be your mom?” she asked, staring at Roland as he beamed back at her, dimples and all.

 “Yeah!” Roland answered, practically hopping into her lap. “You’re great at being a mom, and we even kind of look alike. I think we’d make a great team--don’t you?”

 “Yes,” she answered, the word tumbling out of her like a petal caught up in a waterfall. “I think we make a great team.”

 She laughed as tears fell freely, and she kissed curls that had been gelled and combed as small arms wrapped themselves around her neck. But Robin sat dumbstruck, finally standing up and moving towards Henry.

 “You’d really like me to be your dad?”

 The words were whispered and rough around the edges, tinged with emotion so deep she felt it from where she sat. Henry looked up at him before staring at her, silently seeking her permission, receiving it with a smile.

 “I would,” Henry said, turning his focus back to Robin. “If you wouldn’t mind having me as a son.”

 Robin turned towards her, his eyes wet, his expression one of awe.

 “Mind?” he repeated, shaking his head. “Of course I wouldn’t mind. I’d be honored to be your dad, Henry. If it’s okay with your mother, that is.”

 All three males looked directly at her at once, and she felt the stares of Alonzo, Marco and August watching them in expectation.

 “It is,” she said, smiling so broadly her cheeks began to ache. “You’re right, Henry. Robin is a great dad.”

 “So does that mean you’ll marry us?” Roland asked, hopping off her lap in excitement. “Please, Regina. Marry me and my dad!” Henry was nodding in her direction, trying his best to coax her along.

 “I will,” she answered, cutting her gaze to the man still standing beside her son. “If your dad asks me, that is.”

 Henry inclined his head towards Regina, gesturing Robin in her direction as Roland jumped up and down before grabbing Robin’s hand and practically pulling him down to the floor.

 “You’re supposed to kneel down, Dad,” the boy insisted. “Jeesh! Don’t you know anything about proposing?”

 Robin bit his lower lip to contain his amusement as Henry pushed the man closer to her from behind. He scooted toward her on the carpet and took her hand within his own, looking up at her with those blue eyes of his that never ceased to make her knees go weak.

 “Regina Mills,” Robin began, stroking her ring finger as he held her gaze. “I don’t lead the most orderly of lives, as you well know. My house tends to be messy, and my family is always in our business.”  He paused, tossing a glance towards the kitchen where Alonzo and Marco waved him on as Roland whispered, “Get on with it, Dad!”

 “But it’s my life, and it’s one I want to share with the most amazing, intelligent, compassionate and gorgeous woman I know,” he continued, aiming his eyes in her direction and hitting the bullseye. “I love you, Regina. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

 Her insides burst into an array of fireworks, making everything tingle at the same time.

 “I will,” she answered, cut off from any further words by a pair of insistent lips upon her own. She tugged him closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her fingers into his hair, chuckling into his mouth as applause broke out around them and Roland uttered  Ewwwww. They drew back from each other, all touching noses and damp cheeks, reluctant to let go until Henry interrupted.

 “Now’s when you give her the ring.”

 She sat back at that, shaking her head.

 “Robin doesn’t have a ring yet,” she explained, watching Henry’s brow crease in confusion. “Because he wasn’t planning on proposing tonight. This was your doing--remember?”  

 “Regina,” Robin said, “I--”

 “It’s alright,” she cut in. “I don’t expect one right now, and there’s no rush. Having a ring doesn’t make us any more or less engaged.”

 Her finger felt barer than it ever had, oddly enough, but Robin would remedy that soon enough.

 “Can we go ring shopping with you?” Roland asked. “I want to make sure you get Gina a good ring, Dad, one that shines and sparkles and costs a lot of money. That’s what Uncle Frank says women want.”

 “You discussed engagement rings with Uncle Frank?” Robin asked. “Dare I ask what else he had to say on the subject?”

 “Only that it's’ all about the rock,” Roland said. “That you’d better give her at least a carat or you won’t be getting any for a while, whatever that means.”

 “You asked,” Regina stated as Robin grimaced and rubbed a hand over his beard, chuckling as Frank’s voice cried out Thanks a lot, Roland! from the back of the house. They stared in that direction, shaking their heads in amusement as Frank, Mary Margaret, David holding Baby Neal and Belle toting Gideon slowly came into view.

 “Why am I not surprised?” Robin questioned, looking back at her with blatant adoration. “We can’t do anything without an audience, it would seem.”

 “I hope to God there are some things you do without an audience,” Frank tossed back, getting a sound whack from Mary Margaret on the arm.

 “You know, maybe I should have consulted with you, Frank, before I purchased this,” Robin continued, turning his full attention back on Regina. “Seeing as you’re the expert, according to Roland, but I’m hoping Regina likes it, whether you had a hand in picking it out or not.”

 One hand reached into his pocket as the other held her left hand before releasing it to open a small box, one that held a simple yet elegant ring that took her breath away. It was an oval set in a platinum band, with two small rubies on either side of it, neither pretentious nor too understated, just absolutely perfect.

 “Oh my God,” she breathed, watching in fascination as he slid it onto her finger. “Robin! When did you... how did…”

 “I bought it a month ago,” he admitted. “Had it stashed in my bedroom, waiting for just the right time to ask you. Somehow…” he paused, tossing a pointed glance towards the kitchen. “The box ended up in my suit pocket tonight, the suit I’m assuming August picked out and had delivered here for me to change into this evening.”

 August shrugged good-naturedly, grinning from ear to ear as Belle moved to his side and Gideon flew into his arms from his mother’s.

 “I actually wondered if Roland had found it and tipped you off when I first got here and saw the setup,” Robin continued. “If perhaps you’d arranged for it to be in my pocket so the stage would be set.”

 “You mean when you thought I was planning to propose?” she questioned. “Oh my God, do you really think I’m that devious?”

 “I’m counting on it,” he hummed, kissing the top of her hand. “I had this ring designed for you, Regina,” he continued, his tone now soft and private. “The rubies--they represent our hearts, you know. Two hearts brought together by the most unusual of circumstances, still managing to create something beautiful out of years of pain.”

 Words deserted her again as she stared at the ring, holding her hand up so it caught the light and sparkled, feeling her heart reach out to the man to which it had always belonged.

 “It’s perfect,” she breathed, cupping the sides of his face as she swallowed. “And I love you. So very much.”

 He leaned in and gently kissed her pulse point, her eyes closing upon contact as one of his hands dropped to her rib cage just over where the heart that had once been Marian’s pulsed steady and strong.

 “I love you, too,” he muttered. “With all of my heart.”

 She laughed just before he kissed her again, startled when he practically fell into her as Roland and Henry tackle-hugged him from behind. She leaned back abruptly, touching her lip, fairly certain it had been cut as she picked up her napkin at dabbed at it.

 “Are you bleeding?” he asked, reaching out to her as he tried to unsuccessfully shake off the boys.

 “Barely,” she answered. “You?”

 He grinned, shaking his head.

 “No. And my nose made it out unscathed, as well.”

 She cackled, remembering how she’d practically broken his nose the night they’d met, feeling that somehow a split lip was actually a good sign on this crazy road they’d been travelling. Everyone gathered around them then, wine glasses in hand as Marco topped off hers and Robin’s, and they rose to their feet, moving into a circle of family she’d craved all her life. She had a son, a son-in-waiting, a fiancé, a father-in-law to be, friends, cousins...God, life had been good to her, and she was more thankful than ever for the scar on her chest, feeling it tingle as Robin’s arm slid around her waist and drew her close.

 “To us,” Robin said, raising his class in her direction before extending it towards everyone else. “And to family.”

 “To Regina and Robin,” Alonzo echoed as everyone raised their glass. “And family.”

 They drank, and she took it all in, laughing as Marco confessed they actually had trays of lasagna for everyone just in case the night turned into an engagement party, feeling loved and fully accepted as each member of Robin’s family and her own hugged her in turn and offered their congratulations.

 “God, I’m surrounded by men,” she mused later as Robin fed her a bite of chocolate cake topped with dark chocolate ganache, so delightfully decadent it made her moan. He chuckled, gazing around the room at Alonzo and Marco, at August and Frank, at Henry, Roland, David, Neal and Gideon and nodded his agreement.

 “Face it,” he whispered, stroking the side of her face. “You’re outnumbered, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

 She chuckled as she chased down chocolate with wine, leaning into him fully as they sat on the sofa while others danced and chatted.

 “I wouldn’t be so sure,” she grinned, taking a deep breath. “After all, we could always adopt a little girl.”

 He paused then, eyeballing her before smiling from ear to ear and placing a soft kiss to her temple.

 “That we could,” he returned. “And I’m certainly game.” He then claimed her mouth fully, sealing the deal and their lives together before she could get another word in edgewise.

My Knight

Franklin sat on the edge of the sofa with the remote in his hand, looking through the channels to see if there was anything interesting. He didn’t really want to watch anything that was on, he just wanted to take his mind off what was about to walk through the door. 

There was this movie called XChange that came out in 2001 about using body swapping as a form of travel for business meetings and even vacation. Well, of course, something went wrong and this guy had to figure out how to get his body back from this terrorist who controlled it or else he would die in the temporary host he was inside of. Well, this started to become a reality. Not the terrorist hijacking bodies but the business trips. Stephen, Franklin’s boyfriend, had just departed on one. Whoever they switched with would have a small vacation in someone’s body unless the host paid extra to have them stay at a specific location. The stranger from across the world was about to walk through Franklin’s door and his fingers couldn’t stop changing channels.

Stephen’s body inserted the key inside of the lock and it twisted smoothly, the mechanism clicking and the door sliding open. A bright white light reflected off the mirror in the foyer and blinded Franklin, causing him to shield his eyes as the door creaked shut. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust and when he took his hand away it was his boyfriend standing in the archway and watching him.

“Should I call you Stephen?” Franklin asked, switching off the television and standing in front of the physically familiar man. 

“My real name is Alex but you can call me Stephen if you want. It’s kind of hot. Has your boyfriend done this before, he’s so loose.” The man inhabiting Stephen looked around the house and stretched out a little in the sweater he was wearing.

“No, he hasn’t.” Franklin leaned against the archway with his arms crossed and his sleeve in his mouth, knowing that what he just said was a lie. As he watched Alex look at himself in the mirror he noticed a bruise on his own neck. He lifted his sleeve up to hide it but Alex had already seen it and pretended not to notice.

“I was told that I could only stay in this house and that other than that I could do what I pleased. You know, this guy is built. His picture definitely doesn’t do him justice.” He posed in the mirror and lifted up his shirt. He was referring to the images that they take before swapping. If you are a regular you get model photos. Stephen spent long hours in the gym when he didn’t want to be at home and would often fuck other men while showering. It kept the smell off and Franklin would never find it out, even though he already knew. Once he stopped coming home on time Franklin knew. The first time Stephen hit him was when Alex realized that there was nothing between them anymore.

“Yeah. Sure.” Franklin smiled at him through the mirror and walked down a hallway to the kitchen where he made some tea. The Keurig buzzed to life and dispensed the flavored liquid into a mug that changed colors when it was exposed to different temperatures. He leaned against the island in the center of the kitchen looking out the window above the sink and sipped on his tea as it warmed his hand. Alex came behind him and leaned on the opposite end.

“Do you mind if I make some?” Alex asked. Franklin turned for a brief moment with the rim of the cup still in his mouth and made an approving grunt. Alex moved to make the tea and Franklin watched his every move, hiding behind the steam floating up from his mug. 

“Is it weird?” Franklin started talking out of nowhere. 

“Is what weird? This?” Alex pointed at the awkwardness between them. “Yes. It’s a little weird.”

“I mean this whole body switching thing.” Alex set his mug down and walked over to his partner, poking his face to see if it would fall off. “It’s funny.”

“What is?”

“I haven’t been this close to Stephen in such a long time. When I am I’m trying to block out him yelling at me.” Franklin went back to his mug and continued sipping. Alex was trying to figure out what to say.

“It is weird. Every time is different unless you’ve been in them before but it starts to become normal once you start doing things. He’s the most comfortable one I’ve been in in a long time and it’s kind of nice.” There was a pause. “I’m sorry about your boyfriend. Or, me? I’m sorry?” He chuckled to himself. “I’ve never had to stay home before but this is proving to be an adventure.” He sipped his tea just as Franklin finished his. “Um, should I make a place on the sofa?” 

“No. You can sleep with me if you’d like. The company is always nice. Sorry about not having a guest bedroom.” Franklin disappeared under the arch and then walked upstairs. Alex took a shower before joining Franklin in the bedroom. Grunts echoed off the tile walls and Franklin listened to them as he sat up in bed, watching the door and waiting for his guest to come in. While he was excited to have his boyfriend it really wasn’t him and this was just turning into a guilt trip instead of a vacation.

“Hope you don’t mind.” Alex said, coming into the room with the towel around his waist. He had just recently shaved so his smooth body reflected the light coming from the desk lamp.

“But I sleep naked.” He smiled awkwardly as he let the towel fall to the ground. Joining Franking beneath the covers, Alex watched him turn over to hide a growing erection. “How long has it been?” 

“What do you mean?” Franklin was practically speaking into the pillow.

“How long has been since he started to hurt you. I can see the bruises, you have two on your neck and the long sleeve shirt you were wearing could barely hide the one on your wrist.” 

“Why are you talking to me naked?” Franklin argued.

“This is a vacation and since I can’t just drink liquor and fuck you I’d like to sleep naked.” 

“You want to fuck me?” 

“That’s what you got out of that?” Alex started to smile and then rested his head on his arms above his head. 

“It’s been about three months. They’re both from him aggressively threatening me. He has a pretty tight grip if you haven’t figured that out for yourself.” Franklin was still on his side trying to hide his boner even though he was caught. “If you think I’m barren or something it’s not true. Stephen and I have sex all the time.”

“Do you always want it?” There was silence. Alex was getting aggressive but not because he was mad at Franklin but because he was inhabiting the body of a monster. 

“I want it now.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because I know its not him.” Franklin turned over and stared at him. Alex lifted his head and slowly turned to face him. “Do you mind if I touch you?”

“He’s your boyfriend.” Alex shrugged. Franklin slowly moved his hand from his side to his boyfriend’s body, his fingers delicately touching his chest. Alex smiled innocently as Franklin explored and then he went in for a kiss. It was a simple peck at first at Franklin was astonished but then Alex came back in for another, longer kiss, filled with passion. Alex pressed his naked body into Franklin as Franklin’s hands ran along his back, slowly removing his clothes. They both could feel each other’s cocks as they rubbed against one another. Franklin pushed him away and then climbed on top of him, his rock hard cock sliding against his cheeks as he slowly bounced. Then, he let him in. Slowly, Franklin sat on his cock, letting it slide all the way in before Alex started bucking his hips, feeling his hole tight around him. Franklin massaged himself as he bounced on top of him and while the room got hotter the moans became louder. Alex flipped Franklin over on his back and rammed his meat inside of him while Franklin was getting ready to spew. White streams flew everywhere as he moaned and Alex roared as he thrust his hips powerfully against his ass until he was practically buckling over from the pleasure, filling Franklin up to the brim.

“So, where are you from?” Franklin was closer then he was before and he was no longer wearing his clothes.

“I’m in New York. I know it’s not really far from where you are now.”

“Chicago? Yeah. I knew he liked to switch but I didn’t know he like to switch this often.” Franklin laughed at himself for being such an idiot. “It’s alright because now I know what kind of relationship I want.”

“What kind is that?” Alex smiled.

“One with someone like you.”

“You barely know me.” 

“I know enough. I know that you wouldn’t hurt me because I got a credit card. You wouldn’t toss me down the stairs just because I didn’t make the dinner quite the way you liked it.” Franklin laughed again. “I wish I could just date you.”

“Why don’t you?” Alex was on his side again with his head resting on his hand. 

“What do you mean? That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, I’m hurt. No really. I’ve been doing this switching thing for a long time but I think it’s time that I put myself back out there. I’ll buy a plane ticket and I come out and see you. I’ll be your knight in shining armor, taking you away from this horrible castle with the dreaded wicked warlock.”

“I wish.” Franklin wasn’t catching on.

“I mean it. Look,” He pulled out a phone and purchased the tickets right in front of him, “I’ll be on my way once we switch back. It’s only for the night right? Who goes on a business trip for one night? I’m not saying we should get married, I’m just saying we should have a tea or dinner or something. You’ll get a chance to see the real me.”

“Okay.” 

“What?”

“Okay.”

“Well, I already bought the ticket.” Alex laughed. They spent the rest of the night talking, trying to get to know each other before Alex switched back to his original body. The conversation went on for hours, or at least until Alex passed out. It was going to be some time before Stephen actually woke up in his body but it would be morning time by the time he awoke. So, Franklin made another cup of tea and watched the sun rise through the window above the sink.

Stephen came down the stairs and made a coffee in the Keurig, tossing the used cup into the garbage. As the liquid came out of the spout, he tried kissing Franklin and he flinched. 

“Still?” He scoffed. Shaking his head, he picked up the coffee and drank it, “Well, I would like to know why the fuck I woke up naked. Did you fuck me?”

“Why does it matter? It’s still you.” Franklin was starting to shake. He hand never talked back before but it felt like the right thing to do. 

“It’s not fucking me. I was in New York.” 

“Probably fucking some homo there too.” Franklin rinsed out his cup and turned it upside down in the sink. He knew that he shouldn’t have said those things and he was ready for the punishment, however harsh. He didn’t actually believe Alex was coming to save him but there was a sliver of hope as he felt a hand across his face. The day went on as usual, Stephen took a shower and Franklin sat in fear, waiting for the next event. Then Stephen realized that someone bought a plane ticket on his phone.

“What the fuck is this?” Stephen shoved the screen in Franklin’s face and he cowered. The kitchen seemed darker than usual as Stephen screamed at him but it was barely noon and the flight would have landed already if he caught it on time. 

There was a knock on the door as Stephen threw glass across the tile. Franklin was ordered to get it and ran away from the shattered dinnerware. Once he opened the door, the bright light practically blinded him but he could make out the man standing on the other side.

“I’m here you to save you.” He said with a smile.

Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

"Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

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Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

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Im nearly 17 and female and love, even though I know its expensive.. A VW beetle as a car soon. Any idea on what the car insurance may be?""

How has the highly competitive and free market capitalism of Health Insurance Co worked for the last?

How has the highly competitive and free market capitalism of Health Insurance Co worked for the last? 70 years for Americans? I can only speak for Kanucks... the #1 most popular service the gov't provides for is Universal Health Care coverage, I think the #2 is a Timmies LgDD and a Maple Dipped..""

Florida car insurance hike?

I used to have Florida auto insurance about 6 months ago. Since then I moved but wanted to return to FL. Recent inquiry for an auto quote I notice the premium has increased doubled in FL. When did this happen? And what actually happened? Just curious. Thanks.

How much more a month is car insurance for a sports car than for something like a coupe or sedan?

How much more a month is car insurance for a sports car than for something like a coupe or sedan?

Insurance on a '98 Mustang?

16yr old girl in Ohio, just wondering the cost before i try and sell the idea to my dad lol. Yellow w/ body kit. Help? :)""

How much will insurance go up? ?

How much will insurance go up if you are 18 and just got into an accident with a park car and only hurt there bumper?

How much will my parents car Insurance go up when I get my drivers licence?

I live In Missouri, by the way. Doesn't the Insurance automatically go up for them?""

""How much will insurance cost for a mazda RX-8, 2004?""

I am 17, 18 in December but I was wondering how much it would cost for insurance per month and annual since I am a teen?""

Tax and Insurance question for a Young Person?

Okay , Im 14 years old , and I cannot wait to start my real career (After some years of college) as a Video game producer (or) programmer. My mom says that what ever pay check I get from a job or career , the tax will take money from it. I've calculated my monthly payment from being a Video Game Producer , Which is $5208 a month. How much will money would I Really get after taxes are taken care of and if I have car and health insurance? Is there any other thing I need to know as well?""

How to get car insurance / insured for a 17 year old driver 1.0l car HELP!! PLEASE 3000- price quote?

hi guys, i really need some help with this one: i passed my driving test last week and need to get insurance for my 1.0 l VW LUPO i have been on GOCOMPARE, COMPARE THE MARKET, MONEY SUPERMARKET, QUINN DIRECT ETC but the least i have been quoted is 7500!! how ridiculous PLEASE CAN YOU HELP!! I NEED INSURANCE THAT WILL BE 3000 OR LESS so if any one can help please do please dont post about how you got cheap car insurance 3 years ago because it is not helpful, times have changed as my brother got insurance on a 1.4 focus for 1600!! PLEASE HELP GUYS IM DESPARATED""

When an insurance company gives you a quote is that for 1 month or 6 months?

Ive been looking for good insurance company because ill be getting my first car next month. its a white 2007 Deluxe Mustang, and of my age (18) my family is saying that my rates will be high. well i looking up qoutes and i got a few $178 $384 $668 and i was wondering it the quote for one month or 6. i looked at progressive, esurance, gieco, Ais etc.""

Car Insurance question?

I live on a very busy side street where there is more cars owned by people that live on the street than there is parking spaces for these cars. I am just wondering if i have to park my car on the road around the corner fron where i live is the insurance still vaild if it gets stolen, because when i took out the insurance i was asked where is the car kept over night? and i said on the street where i live""

Should Insurance companies be forced to protect against preexisting conditions? Buy Ins after car gets stolen?

How much would that add to the insurance premium if they had to pay out for preexisting conditions? What if you totaled your new corvette and bought insurance the next day. How soon before the insurance companies went bankrupt and we had to go to the government option. (Where you would be forced to drive a Yugo in order to qualify).

Insurance industry Q&A - what entry level insurance job ...?

what entry level insurance job would be good for someone looking to break into the industry?chicago i have 0 years experience but i have a BA degree undeclared. im fimilar with ms office software.

Non-vehicle owner driver's insurance?

I just got my drivers licensce today. I need insurance to drive even though I don't own my own car and will use my parents?

Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

What medical insurance will cover me?

i'm 19 years old no medical insurance i'm in city college part time but my parents aren't an option.i'm also an LPN BUT ONLY WORK PART TIME AND CAN'T GET JOB INSURANCE i noticed i was growing excessive facial hair and irregular periods was dx with PCOS i would like to seek treatment for it what medical insurance company would cover it seeing that i was already dx if any?

Motorcycle insurance for a 17 year old?

I'm 17 living in New York. I'm working on getting a motorcycle permit and was wondering what insurance for someone my age would be at different companies. I would probably get a bike with 250-750cc. probably a sport or standard bike. what do companies look for when they consider what to charge? ive never been arrested, have a job and good grades. Do you need to prove your responsibility to lower prices or do they just slap a huge fee on you for being a young male.? If you could tell me what you are being chraged or were charged that would be a great help. Thanks""

Car Insurance Question?

I am looking to buy a used car, but I am unsure as to what models/manufacturers will be set at a premium insurance fee. For instance, would a used BMW 3-series ($2000) cost more in insurance than a used Honda Accord ($2500)?""

Will my insurance be through the roof?

I am 16 years of age, and I own a '85 2.8L V6 Fiero GT. It's of course 2 door and a sports car. I have the title and plates all ready in my name. I was wondering before I go to get insurance Monday, do you guys think it will be expensive for me? My mother is adding me as a second driver and sadly I am not carrying a B average for that discount. I tried getting some quotes from Progressive it was 650 and Nationwide it was 800, and my mother uses Nationwide. I am not sure if I did the quote correctly though because it shouldnt be that much! Please any helpful idea's or thoughts! Thanks.""

Insurance complaint?

i just insured my car and my previous insurer will not send me my no claims forms for me to show to my new insurance company which is resulting in my insurance going up 500 is there any where i can complain

What is the best Dental insurance around in Illinois?

I need a dental insurance that pays 50 to 75 of all dental care including oral surgen. My boyfriend needs a lot of work done on his teeth. He is scared of death of the denist, he has to be put to sleep and he has to have all the work done at one time. Can anyone help me please.""

Car insurance excess?

I was involved in a bump on friday evening which was my fault, there's no damage to my car, not even a scratch, however I have received a call from admiral saying the other person has put a claim in and they have been given a hire car, there didn't appear to be any damage to the other persons car, just maybe a scratch, will I have to pay my excess in this case? if yes approximately how much will I have to pay? my excess is 500. thanks""

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

US car insurance rates?

I'm in the market for a midsized or compact car. I'm looking into purchasing a Honda, Toyota, or Mazda brand vehical. I'd like to know which of these cars has a lower insurance rate. (If it helps, I live in the midwest and have a good driving record.)""

HOw much does it cost to insure a second vehicle?

I pay $125 a month for my car. WOuld like to get one of those vans you camp in and insure it for the summer. About what pertenage would be added to my current insurance, approimxently? just want rough estimates for people who have insured more then one vehicle before?""

Car insurance company discriminate against me because I was not born in the UK?

I had a quote for car insurance through a well-known national company. They were aware I had a UK licence for 5 years and had no convictions, claims etc. I rang and spoke to a representative and she confirmed the quote. The following day I decided to accept and called them. We went through my information and the agent said, so you were born in the UK? I said no, I am a UK citizen but I was born abroad. The quote then went up by 200 !!!! I took issue and spoke to a manger who said this was legitimate when I told him I was certain it was illegal since the only information that had changed was my place of birth, he eventually said he would honour the original quote. I then bought the policy with a one-off payment. Insurance is a racket and I don't think they should be alllowed to get by with this. Does anyone know anything about this and what can be done next to make sure it doesn't happen to other people?""

What are the contents of an insurance premium?

What are the contents of an insurance premium?

What's the best individual health/dental insurance that i can purchase?

What's the best individual health/dental insurance that i can purchase?

Can you find a insurance quote for a car ie rover 45 on a y registered plate?

please find list of car insurance firms

How will health insurance brokers be affected by healthcare reform?

will health insurance brokers still have a job?

What are my rights? re: car insurance?

I'm a bit short of money at the moment, so on the 31st January i phoned my car insurance company and asked them to suspend my insurance. They told me the direct debit request for February had been sent on the 29th January, which they couldn't stop, and would be taken from my bank account on the 1st February and i would later bee refunded that amount. Today i received a letter in the post telling me they would hold the payment and use it when i continue the policy or use it towards a cancellation fee if I don't unsuspend the policy. The policy ends in June! The reason i cancelled is because im on benefits and just don't have the money to afford this right now. Anything i can do?""

How do I offer Shipping Insurance on eBay?

I am selling a NASCAR Daytona 500 Ticket Stub. I don't know where the option is to add Shipping Insurance. Please tell me how to add it. Any help would be appreciated, thanks!""

Putting someone on my car insurance policy?

Can i add my brother and his car to my insurance policy? He doesn't have insurance cuz he can't afford the whole big down payment to start his own policy. Can i just add him and his car to mine? I don't drive his car and he doesn't drive mine, so would that work?""

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

Do i need insurance to hire 16yr old to work on my farm?

My son wants to work on a horse farm, we have been asked to sign a release by his employer , saying he will not be held responsible if anything happens to him under his employment.. is this legal?""

Where can i find cheap full coverage auto insurance?

Where can i find cheap full coverage auto insurance?

What is the average cost for car insurance?

What is the average cost for car insurance on a standard second hand car worth about 1,000 like a nissan?""

Car insurance..please answer?

Basically my dad is paying 1600ish pound for an insurance policy, with me as a named driver on his car, that was a few months ago he got that, however now, if we was to do the same policy because we have had the car for a few months it would be 1100 ish, if my dad got a new car which he is thinking of doing, and transfered the insurance onto that (substituted it) but the car was a bit nicer and slightly more expensive to insure, would the price inrease because of the car, or decrease because im slightly older and insurance is getting cheaper for me""

Any good/bad experiences with Farmers Insurance?

I'm considering becoming an agent of farmers.

How does points affect my car insurance?

I just lost 4 points. I dont know much about the points system. How will it affect my car insurance when it's renewed? I am in NJ, if that makes difference. Thanks.""

Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

Downey California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 90239

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/auto-insurance-quotes-online-edmonton-noah-washington/"

Addicted to Real Estate - Why I Can't Quit and Why You need to Get started

The All-Money-Down Approach So how does the all-money-down method operate by buying a home with cash? To start with, let me repeat that I genuinely didn't have any money, but I had a significant amount of equity from Terry's home and numerous houses that I owned place together to provide me a substantial cash down payment. Banks and mortgage corporations alike will accept cash from a home-equity line of credit as cash to purchase a home. No less than they did in 1997 below the economic suggestions on the day. What you should try to remember about mortgages and lending is that the guidelines adjust regularly, so this technique I made use of in 1997 might or might not be able to become made use of within the future. Whether it really is or is not capable to become utilised again doesn't seriously matter to me as I believe that there will constantly be a solution to invest in real estate with limited revenue down sooner or later. There will normally be a strategy to obtain real estate but specifically how that will be accomplished within the future I am not absolutely positive. I began acquiring properties in the Mayfair section of Philadelphia with all the prices in the $30,000 to $40,000 per dwelling cost range. I'd acquire a home with three bedrooms and a single bathroom on the second floor using a kitchen, dining space, and living room around the very first floor and a basement. What we get in touch with a row dwelling in Philadelphia would consist of a porch out front in addition to a backyard the width of your property. Most row houses in Philadelphia are significantly less than twenty-two feet wide. For those of you who are not from Philadelphia and can not picture what a Philadelphia row household looks like, I recommend you watch the movie Rocky. Twenty-two homes on every single side of each block will truly test your capability to be a neighbor. Items that may commonly lead to an argument with your Philadelphia neighbors frequently stem from parking, noise your young children make, where you leave your trash cans, parties, plus the appearance of your household. In 1998 my girlfriend and I moved in together and for the suburbs of Philadelphia known as Warminster. Soon after living on a street in Tacony, substantially like Rocky did, I definitely looked forward to possessing space among my home and my next-door neighbor. I told Terry not to even consider about speaking using the people today who lived subsequent door to us. I told her if a single of them comes over with a fruitcake I'm going to take it and punt it like a football appropriate into their backyard. I think I was struggling with Philadelphia row house syndrome. My new neighbors in Warminster turned out to become amazing individuals, but it took me eighteen months prior to I was willing to discover that. So you just bought your row home for $35,000 in Mayfair, and immediately after $2000 in closing costs and $5000 in repair charges, you uncover your self an excellent tenant who desires to rent the dwelling. After renting the property with a constructive cash flow of $200 a month, you now have an outstanding debt of $42,000 in your home equity line of credit which will have to be paid off. When acquiring the dwelling, I didn't get a mortgage as I just bought a dwelling for cash as it is said inside the organization. All monies I spent on this home were spent from the home-equity line of credit.

The move now should be to pay off your home-equity line of credit so you are able to go do it once more. We now visit a bank together with your fixed-up property and inform the mortgage division which you desire to do a cash-out refinancing of one's real estate investment. It aids to explain that the neighborhood you obtain your property in need to have a wider range of pricing as the neighborhood of Mayfair did in the mid-90s. The pricing of residences in Mayfair is very unusual as you would see a $3000 distinction in dwelling values from 1 block for the subsequent. This was significant when carrying out a cash-out refinancing because it's pretty uncomplicated for the bank to find out that I just bought my property for $35,000 no matter the truth that I did lots of repairs. I could justify the fact that I've spent extra cash on my household to fix it up, and by placing a tenant in, it was now a profitable piece of real estate from an investment standpoint. If I was lucky like I was many occasions over carrying out this technique of purchasing houses in Mayfair along with the appraiser would use properties a block or two away and come back with an appraisal of $45,000. Back then there have been applications permitting an investor to buy a household for 10 % down or left in as equity carrying out a 90 percent money out refinance providing me back roughly $40,500. Using this strategy permitted me to acquire back the majority of the cash I put down around the home. I fundamentally paid just $1,500 down for this new dwelling. Why did the mortgage firms plus the appraisers retain giving me the numbers I wanted? I assume mainly because they wanted the business. I'd only inform the bank I need to have this to are available in at $45,000 or I am just maintaining it financed as is. They always seemed to give me what I wanted within cause. This entire method took 3 to four months during which time I may have saved a handful of thousand dollars. Involving the money I saved from my job and my investments and money out refinancing, I had replenished most or all of my funds from my home-equity line of credit that was now virtually back to zero to start the procedure again. And that may be specifically what I intended to perform. I made use of this system to buy 4 to six residences a year utilizing precisely the same cash to buy property right after property after home over and over once more. In reality, the approach is actually a no-money down or tiny money down method. In the time maybe I had $60,000 in available funds to use to buy houses off of my HELOC, so I would invest in a home and then replenish the cash. It was a terrific method that was legal, and I could see my dream of getting a real estate investor full-time coming to an eventual reality despite the fact that I wasn't there yet. During the years from 1995 to 2002, the real estate marketplace in Philadelphia produced gradual increases of possibly 6 % as every year went on. I began to track my net worth that was one hundred percent equity, which means I had no other forms of investments to check out when calculating my net worth. Normally speaking, the very first five years of my real estate career didn't go nicely due to the undesirable choices I produced acquiring buildings along with the decline within the marketplace. Furthermore, my lack of information and encounter in repairs made it a rough. The second 5 years of my real estate profession that I just completed explaining didn't make substantially funds either. I supported myself mainly by way of my career as a salesman, but I could unquestionably see the writing around the wall that down the road real estate was going to become my full-time gig. Realty Pros of America I own an workplace building that has a real estate firm as a tenant referred to as Realty Pros of America. The business has a terrific plan exactly where a new agent receives 75 % in the commission and the broker gets only 25 percent. In case you do not know it, this can be a fairly superior deal, particularly for a new real estate agent. The business also delivers a 5 percent sponsorship charge towards the agent who sponsors them on just about every deal they do. When you bring a person who's a realtor in for the company that you simply have sponsored, the broker will spend you a five % sponsorship out with the broker's end to ensure that the new realtor you sponsored can nevertheless earn 75 % commissions. As well as the above, Realty Professionals of America provides to boost the realtor's commission by 5 percent just after achieving cumulative commission benchmarks, up to a maximum of 90 percent. When a commission benchmark is reached, an agent's commission rate is only decreased if commissions in the following year do not reach a reduced baseline quantity. I at present maintain 85 % of all my deals' commissions; plus I get sponsorship checks of 5 percent from the commissions that the agents I sponsored earn. If you'd like to learn more about becoming sponsored into Realty Specialists of America's excellent strategy, please contact me straight at 267-988-2000. Receiving My Real Estate License One in the points that I did in the summer season of 2005 following leaving my full-time job was to make plans to obtain my real estate license. Receiving my real estate license was some thing I usually wanted to accomplish but never seemed to have the time to do it. I'm sure you have heard that excuse a thousand instances. Men and women usually say that they're going to accomplish something quickly as they find the time to do it, however they never ever seem to discover the time, do they? I attempt not to let myself make excuses for anything. So I've created up my mind ahead of I ever left my full-time job that one in the initial items I'd do was to have my real estate license. I enrolled inside a college called the American Real Estate Institute for any two-week full-time program to obtain my license to sell real estate inside the state of Pennsylvania. Two terrific guys having a globe of experience taught the class, and I enjoyed the time I spent there. Immediately soon after finishing the course at the American Real Estate Institute, I booked the subsequent offered day offered by the state to take the state exam. My teachers' tips to take the exam instantly just after the class turned out to be a superb suggestion. I passed the exam with flying colors and have applied my license numerous occasions since to purchase real estate and lower the costs. In the event you are going to become a full-time real estate investor or a commercial real estate investor, then you definitely pretty much have to get a license. Whilst I know some persons who do not think this, I am convinced it's the only way. I worked on a single deal at $3 million where the commission for the buyer's real estate agent was $75,000. By the time my broker took a share, I walked with $63,000 commission on that deal alone. With the average price per year of becoming a realtor running about $1200 per year, this a single deal alone would've paid for my real estate license for fifty-three years. Not to mention each of the other fringe added benefits like possessing access for the several listing service provided as well a lot of realtors in this nation. Even though there are actually other approaches to get access for the multiple listing services or one more system similar to it, a real estate license is a good solution to go. Several of the negatives I hear again and again once again about obtaining your real estate license is the reality that you simply have to disclose that you are realtor when acquiring a house if you are representing yourself. Maybe I'm missing one thing, but I never see this as a adverse at all. If you're skilled in the art of negotiation, it is just yet another hurdle which you have to handle. I suppose you could finish up in a lawsuit where a court of law could assume since you're realtor you should know all these things. I don't commit my life worrying about the million methods I could be sued any more than I worry about having hit by a auto every time I cross the street. The Addict From his initially investment house over 20 years ago to his relentless search for the following fantastic deal everyday, Falcone is often a non-stop real estate investment machine! Get Addicted Often addiction is actually a really superior issue. In this book Phil Falcone, the ultimate real estate addict, will show you the way to attain awesome results as a real estate investor: Delve into the information of actual deals he negotiated and find out why his procedures had been so helpful Discover why his residential to industrial real estate technique will build ultimate wealth Learn how he employed apparent liabilities (OCD, insomnia, and workaholic behavior) to assist him reach his objectives Explore why he cannot cease investing in real estate, and how you are able to begin controlling your own personal economic destiny by means of real estate Frank, funny and informative, Addicted to Real Estate will inspire any investor to achieve larger levels of drive and good results within the rewarding globe of Destin Real Estate .

Addicted to Real Estate - Why I Can't Quit and Why You ought to Get started

The All-Money-Down Method So how does the all-money-down technique work by buying a household with money? To start with, let me repeat that I truly didn't have any money, but I had a substantial amount of equity from Terry's household and numerous properties that I owned put together to give me a substantial cash down payment. Banks and mortgage firms alike will accept dollars from a home-equity line of credit as cash to purchase a dwelling. At the least they did in 1997 under the economic recommendations with the day. What you should don't forget about mortgages and lending is that the recommendations adjust continually, so this method I utilised in 1997 may perhaps or might not be able to become made use of in the future. Regardless of whether it really is or is not in a position to become made use of once more doesn't genuinely matter to me as I think that there will often be a strategy to get real estate with restricted income down sooner or later. There will always be a method to acquire real estate but specifically how that can be accomplished within the future I am not absolutely confident. I started acquiring homes within the Mayfair section of Philadelphia using the prices inside the $30,000 to $40,000 per dwelling value range. I'd obtain a household with 3 bedrooms and one bathroom around the second floor with a kitchen, dining area, and living room around the initial floor as well as a basement. What we call a row residence in Philadelphia would consist of a porch out front and a backyard the width with the home. Most row houses in Philadelphia are significantly less than twenty-two feet wide. For those of you who're not from Philadelphia and cannot image what a Philadelphia row residence appears like, I suggest you watch the movie Rocky. Twenty-two properties on every single side of every block will definitely test your capacity to become a neighbor. Factors which will commonly result in an argument together with your Philadelphia neighbors usually stem from parking, noise your youngsters make, where you leave your trash cans, parties, along with the appearance of the home. In 1998 my girlfriend and I moved in together and towards the suburbs of Philadelphia called Warminster. Right after living on a street in Tacony, a lot like Rocky did, I actually looked forward to obtaining space amongst my home and my next-door neighbor. I told Terry not to even consider about talking with all the folks who lived next door to us. I told her if a single of them comes over using a fruitcake I am going to take it and punt it like a football ideal into their backyard. I think I was suffering from Philadelphia row residence syndrome. My new neighbors in Warminster turned out to become superb people, nevertheless it took me eighteen months prior to I was willing to understand that. So you simply bought your row house for $35,000 in Mayfair, and immediately after $2000 in closing fees and $5000 in repair expenses, you find your self a good tenant who wants to rent the household. Immediately after renting the house with a positive cash flow of $200 a month, you now have an outstanding debt of $42,000 on your residence equity line of credit that will have to be paid off. When buying the home, I didn't get a mortgage as I just bought a property for cash because it is stated within the small business. All monies I spent on this home have been spent in the home-equity line of credit.

The move now will be to spend off your home-equity line of credit so you could go do it once again. We now go to a bank with your fixed-up house and inform the mortgage division that you want to do a cash-out refinancing of the real estate investment. It assists to explain that the neighborhood you buy your house in must possess a wider array of pricing because the neighborhood of Mayfair did in the mid-90s. The pricing of houses in Mayfair is quite uncommon as you would see a $3000 distinction in property values from 1 block towards the next. This was vital when performing a cash-out refinancing for the reason that it really is pretty quick for the bank to view that I just bought my house for $35,000 irrespective of the fact that I did quite a few repairs. I could justify the truth that I've spent more dollars on my dwelling to repair it up, and by putting a tenant in, it was now a lucrative piece of real estate from an investment standpoint. If I was fortunate like I was many instances over doing this program of purchasing properties in Mayfair and the appraiser would use houses a block or two away and come back with an appraisal of $45,000. Back then there were programs allowing an investor to buy a residence for 10 % down or left in as equity performing a 90 % money out refinance giving me back roughly $40,500. Using this technique permitted me to obtain back most of the cash I put down around the house. I generally paid just $1,500 down for this new property. Why did the mortgage providers as well as the appraisers preserve giving me the numbers I wanted? I assume because they wanted the organization. I'd only tell the bank I have to have this to come in at $45,000 or I'm just keeping it financed as is. They generally seemed to give me what I wanted within purpose. This entire process took three to 4 months for the duration of which time I may have saved a number of thousand dollars. Involving the cash I saved from my job and my investments and cash out refinancing, I had replenished most or all of my funds from my home-equity line of credit that was now nearly back to zero to start the process again. And that is exactly what I intended to accomplish. I utilised this system to buy four to six homes a year using the same cash to buy house after household soon after property over and over once more. In reality, the strategy is a no-money down or small cash down approach. At the time possibly I had $60,000 in out there funds to utilize to purchase homes off of my HELOC, so I'd get a house and then replenish the money. It was a terrific method that was legal, and I could see my dream of getting a real estate investor full-time coming to an eventual reality although I wasn't there however. Through the years from 1995 to 2002, the real estate industry in Philadelphia created gradual increases of perhaps six % as each year went on. I began to track my net worth that was 100 percent equity, meaning I had no other forms of investments to examine when calculating my net worth. Typically speaking, the very first five years of my real estate profession did not go nicely because of the terrible decisions I created acquiring buildings along with the decline inside the market place. Furthermore, my lack of expertise and encounter in repairs produced it a rough. The second five years of my real estate profession that I just finished explaining did not make a great deal funds either. I supported myself mostly via my profession as a salesman, but I could undoubtedly see the writing on the wall that down the road real estate was going to become my full-time gig. Realty Professionals of America I personal an office developing which has a real estate corporation as a tenant referred to as Realty Pros of America. The corporation has a terrific program where a brand new agent receives 75 % of the commission along with the broker gets only 25 percent. In the event you do not know it, this can be a pretty fantastic deal, specially for a new real estate agent. The business also delivers a 5 % sponsorship fee for the agent who sponsors them on just about every deal they do. If you bring a person who is a realtor in towards the organization that you have sponsored, the broker will pay you a 5 % sponsorship out of the broker's end so that the new realtor you sponsored can nevertheless earn 75 % commissions. In addition to the above, Realty Experts of America offers to boost the realtor's commission by five % soon after reaching cumulative commission benchmarks, as much as a maximum of 90 %. After a commission benchmark is reached, an agent's commission rate is only decreased if commissions inside the following year usually do not reach a reduced baseline quantity. I presently preserve 85 percent of all my deals' commissions; plus I acquire sponsorship checks of five percent in the commissions that the agents I sponsored earn. If you'd like to learn extra about being sponsored into Realty Experts of America's superb program, please contact me straight at 267-988-2000. Finding My Real Estate License One particular on the factors that I did within the summer of 2005 following leaving my full-time job was to make plans to have my real estate license. Acquiring my real estate license was something I constantly wanted to accomplish but under no circumstances seemed to have the time to do it. I'm certain you have heard that excuse a thousand times. Men and women generally say that they're going to accomplish one thing soon as they find the time to do it, but they in no way look to seek out the time, do they? I try to not let myself make excuses for something. So I've created up my thoughts ahead of I ever left my full-time job that one with the first issues I would do was to have my real estate license. I enrolled in a college named the American Real Estate Institute to get a two-week full-time program to receive my license to sell real estate within the state of Pennsylvania. Two terrific guys using a globe of knowledge taught the class, and I enjoyed the time I spent there. Right away after finishing the course at the American Real Estate Institute, I booked the next available day provided by the state to take the state exam. My teachers' advice to take the exam straight away right after the class turned out to become a great suggestion. I passed the exam with flying colors and have employed my license several times considering that to buy real estate and minimize the expenditures. In case you are going to be a full-time real estate investor or maybe a commercial real estate investor, then you nearly have to get a license. While I know a number of people today who do not believe this, I'm convinced it is the only way. I worked on one deal at $3 million exactly where the commission for the buyer's real estate agent was $75,000. By the time my broker took a share, I walked with $63,000 commission on that deal alone. With the typical expense per year of being a realtor running about $1200 per year, this 1 deal alone would've paid for my real estate license for fifty-three years. Not to mention all of the other fringe added benefits like possessing access to the multiple listing service offered also a lot of realtors in this nation. When you can find other solutions to get access to the a number of listing solutions or another program related to it, a real estate license is a superb technique to go. Many of the negatives I hear over and over once more about having your real estate license is the fact that you need to disclose that you're realtor when acquiring a home if you are representing yourself. Maybe I am missing some thing, but I don't see this as a negative at all. If you are skilled inside the art of negotiation, it really is just another hurdle that you just must handle. I suppose you can finish up within a lawsuit where a court of law could assume since you happen to be realtor you should know all these factors. I don't spend my life worrying in regards to the million methods I may be sued any more than I be concerned about having hit by a car each time I cross the street. The Addict From his first investment property over 20 years ago to his relentless search for the following fantastic deal everyday, Falcone is really a non-stop real estate investment machine! Get Addicted Sometimes addiction is usually a very good point. In this book Phil Falcone, the ultimate real estate addict, will show you ways to accomplish wonderful achievement as a real estate investor: Delve in to the information of actual bargains he negotiated and study why his solutions have been so efficient Uncover why his residential to industrial real estate technique will create ultimate wealth Learn how he made use of apparent liabilities (OCD, insomnia, and workaholic behavior) to assist him attain his objectives Discover why he cannot cease investing in real estate, and how you are able to commence controlling your individual financial destiny via real estate Frank, funny and informative, Addicted to Real Estate will inspire any investor to achieve higher levels of drive and success within the rewarding world of Destin Real Estate .

Addicted to Real Estate - Why I Cannot Quit and Why You should Start off

The All-Money-Down Method So how does the all-money-down strategy work by purchasing a household with money? Firstly, let me repeat that I definitely didn't have any cash, but I had a significant amount of equity from Terry's home and a number of residences that I owned place collectively to offer me a substantial money down payment. Banks and mortgage providers alike will accept income from a home-equity line of credit as money to buy a home. At the very least they did in 1997 below the monetary recommendations in the day. What you should bear in mind about mortgages and lending is the fact that the recommendations modify frequently, so this technique I used in 1997 may well or may not be in a position to be utilized inside the future. Regardless of whether it really is or is not able to be utilised again doesn't really matter to me as I believe that there will normally be a way to get real estate with limited income down sooner or later. There will always be a approach to acquire real estate but precisely how which will be completed inside the future I'm not fully sure. I started acquiring properties in the Mayfair section of Philadelphia together with the costs within the $30,000 to $40,000 per house price variety. I would obtain a dwelling with three bedrooms and a single bathroom on the second floor with a kitchen, dining area, and living space on the initial floor plus a basement. What we get in touch with a row residence in Philadelphia would consist of a porch out front and a backyard the width from the home. Most row homes in Philadelphia are much less than twenty-two feet wide. For all those of you who are not from Philadelphia and cannot picture what a Philadelphia row household appears like, I suggest you watch the movie Rocky. Twenty-two homes on each side of every block will definitely test your capability to become a neighbor. Points that could generally bring about an argument along with your Philadelphia neighbors normally stem from parking, noise your youngsters make, where you leave your trash cans, parties, and also the appearance of your household. In 1998 my girlfriend and I moved in with each other and towards the suburbs of Philadelphia named Warminster. Right after living on a street in Tacony, substantially like Rocky did, I actually looked forward to possessing space in between my property and my next-door neighbor. I told Terry not to even consider about speaking with all the people today who lived subsequent door to us. I told her if one particular of them comes more than with a fruitcake I'm going to take it and punt it like a football suitable into their backyard. I think I was affected by Philadelphia row household syndrome. My new neighbors in Warminster turned out to become amazing individuals, nevertheless it took me eighteen months before I was prepared to study that. So you simply purchased your row residence for $35,000 in Mayfair, and soon after $2000 in closing expenses and $5000 in repair costs, you obtain yourself an excellent tenant who desires to rent the residence. After renting the house with a positive cash flow of $200 a month, you now have an outstanding debt of $42,000 in your household equity line of credit that can have to be paid off. When acquiring the residence, I did not get a mortgage as I just purchased a home for money because it is mentioned in the business. All monies I spent on this property have been spent in the home-equity line of credit.

The move now is always to pay off your home-equity line of credit so you'll be able to go do it once more. We now go to a bank along with your fixed-up house and inform the mortgage division that you want to do a cash-out refinancing of your real estate investment. It helps to clarify that the neighborhood you acquire your home in must have a wider array of pricing because the neighborhood of Mayfair did within the mid-90s. The pricing of homes in Mayfair is rather unusual as you would see a $3000 distinction in home values from one particular block towards the next. This was essential when doing a cash-out refinancing due to the fact it really is fairly easy for the bank to find out that I just bought my house for $35,000 no matter the truth that I did many repairs. I could justify the truth that I've spent extra money on my residence to fix it up, and by placing a tenant in, it was now a lucrative piece of real estate from an investment standpoint. If I was lucky like I was numerous occasions more than undertaking this program of acquiring properties in Mayfair along with the appraiser would use properties a block or two away and come back with an appraisal of $45,000. Back then there were applications enabling an investor to purchase a residence for ten % down or left in as equity performing a 90 percent cash out refinance giving me back roughly $40,500. Using this approach allowed me to obtain back most of the cash I place down around the property. I fundamentally paid just $1,500 down for this new residence. Why did the mortgage businesses and the appraisers retain giving me the numbers I wanted? I assume due to the fact they wanted the enterprise. I'd only tell the bank I have to have this to are available in at $45,000 or I am just maintaining it financed as is. They normally seemed to provide me what I wanted within cause. This complete method took 3 to four months throughout which time I may have saved a handful of thousand dollars. Amongst the cash I saved from my job and my investments and cash out refinancing, I had replenished most or all of my funds from my home-equity line of credit that was now virtually back to zero to start the method again. And that may be specifically what I intended to do. I applied this technique to buy four to six houses a year utilizing exactly the same cash to purchase home following dwelling right after household again and again again. In reality, the method is really a no-money down or small income down technique. In the time maybe I had $60,000 in obtainable funds to make use of to get residences off of my HELOC, so I'd get a household then replenish the money. It was a terrific approach that was legal, and I could see my dream of getting a real estate investor full-time coming to an eventual reality despite the fact that I wasn't there yet. Through the years from 1995 to 2002, the real estate market in Philadelphia made gradual increases of maybe 6 % as each year went on. I started to track my net worth that was 100 % equity, which means I had no other types of investments to look at when calculating my net worth. Frequently speaking, the very first five years of my real estate profession did not go effectively due to the poor choices I made getting buildings and also the decline inside the marketplace. Additionally, my lack of expertise and experience in repairs created it a rough. The second 5 years of my real estate career that I just finished explaining did not make a lot income either. I supported myself primarily by way of my career as a salesman, but I could definitely see the writing on the wall that down the road real estate was going to become my full-time gig. Realty Professionals of America I own an office developing that has a real estate firm as a tenant named Realty Pros of America. The enterprise features a terrific program exactly where a brand new agent receives 75 % of the commission as well as the broker gets only 25 %. If you don't know it, this is a pretty excellent deal, in particular to get a new real estate agent. The company also offers a 5 percent sponsorship fee for the agent who sponsors them on just about every deal they do. In the event you bring an individual who's a realtor in towards the firm which you have sponsored, the broker will spend you a 5 percent sponsorship out of the broker's end so that the new realtor you sponsored can nevertheless earn 75 percent commissions. In addition to the above, Realty Experts of America delivers to improve the realtor's commission by five % right after achieving cumulative commission benchmarks, as much as a maximum of 90 %. Once a commission benchmark is reached, an agent's commission price is only decreased if commissions inside the following year do not attain a reduced baseline amount. I currently hold 85 percent of all my deals' commissions; plus I get sponsorship checks of 5 % from the commissions that the agents I sponsored earn. If you'd prefer to learn a lot more about being sponsored into Realty Professionals of America's fantastic plan, please contact me straight at 267-988-2000. Having My Real Estate License A single on the factors that I did inside the summer season of 2005 right after leaving my full-time job was to produce plans to have my real estate license. Obtaining my real estate license was anything I usually wanted to do but by no means seemed to have the time to do it. I'm certain you have heard that excuse a thousand occasions. People today always say that they're going to do some thing soon as they discover the time for you to do it, but they never ever appear to find the time, do they? I try to not let myself make excuses for something. So I've made up my thoughts before I ever left my full-time job that one particular with the very first items I'd do was to obtain my real estate license. I enrolled within a school referred to as the American Real Estate Institute for a two-week full-time plan to acquire my license to sell real estate within the state of Pennsylvania. Two terrific guys having a globe of practical experience taught the class, and I enjoyed the time I spent there. Right away just after completing the course in the American Real Estate Institute, I booked the following obtainable day offered by the state to take the state exam. My teachers' assistance to take the exam promptly right after the class turned out to become a superb suggestion. I passed the exam with flying colors and have utilised my license a lot of instances given that to buy real estate and decrease the expenditures. If you are going to become a full-time real estate investor or maybe a commercial real estate investor, then you pretty much must get a license. When I know a number of people who don't believe this, I'm convinced it's the only way. I worked on 1 deal at $3 million where the commission towards the buyer's real estate agent was $75,000. By the time my broker took a share, I walked with $63,000 commission on that deal alone. Together with the average price per year of getting a realtor operating about $1200 per year, this 1 deal alone would've paid for my real estate license for fifty-three years. Not to mention all of the other fringe added benefits like having access for the numerous listing service provided also numerous realtors in this nation. Even though you'll find other approaches to get access to the multiple listing services or an additional program comparable to it, a real estate license is a good method to go. Many of the negatives I hear again and again once again about obtaining your real estate license will be the fact which you have to disclose that you're realtor when buying a property if you are representing yourself. Maybe I am missing one thing, but I never see this as a adverse at all. If you are skilled within the art of negotiation, it is just a further hurdle that you just must deal with. I suppose you could end up inside a lawsuit where a court of law could assume mainly because you will be realtor you ought to know all these items. I do not invest my life worrying in regards to the million strategies I can be sued any greater than I worry about getting hit by a automobile each time I cross the street. The Addict From his initial investment house more than 20 years ago to his relentless look for the subsequent wonderful deal daily, Falcone is really a non-stop real estate investment machine! Get Addicted Occasionally addiction is actually a extremely superior point. In this book Phil Falcone, the ultimate real estate addict, will show you ways to reach awesome accomplishment as a real estate investor: Delve in to the details of actual deals he negotiated and discover why his approaches were so effective Learn why his residential to commercial real estate approach will build ultimate wealth Learn how he utilised apparent liabilities (OCD, insomnia, and workaholic behavior) to assist him attain his objectives Explore why he can't stop investing in real estate, and how you could commence controlling your personal financial destiny by way of real estate Frank, funny and informative, Addicted to Real Estate will inspire any investor to achieve larger levels of drive and achievement inside the rewarding planet of Destin Real Estate .

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Correct come on the advisors staring at television all night time it’s a enormous wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve got these crispier okay that is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the equal go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I consider we might ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn k i am a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna rate a fortune to fix where we going to get the money feel Google how will we elevate some cash mm-hmm again i do know uh-huh aha are you thinking what i am pondering I consider although Ted yes haha however now wait i’m now not certain I imply it is a gigantic step and where are we gonna get long past i’m going to be speaking about oh wait a minute now honestly I would had been enthusiastic about whatever distinctive you notion we’ll rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this isn’t a Bruce Willis movie I was once considering more alongside the lines of a rattles entirely how does a prized or you have got bought me there Ted I feel we will get some thing how does the foundations of the diocese had been allowed or a shock each couple years it can be go Ted we have got to move them over right here that’s printing Latifah waking them up oh there it’s father father Tonio’s get again come on Zoey we’re gonna must lose you once more don’t eat that for the no it’s vacant water and i’ve been looking up the file and the island hasn’t been given some thing to wrassle since those two bags of cold in 1964 I think we’re entitled beneath the foundations of the diocese oh that’s a big creation oh that’s wonderful thanks very a lot your grace sure thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no appear then lot’s of luck toodles we’re being given a auto a automobile that’s a exquisite prize head what’s not that extraordinary father Finnegan obtained one final yr him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s still going oh sure certainly he danced throughout the united states last year new york to los angeles he used to be mugged about as soon as every 15 miles satisfactory without the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you suppose of her sure are you sure you is not going to have a cop it is a prize in our little one raffle right just the drop to your hand then one is like this going i will take the tray o.K. Horlicks i’ll put the determine line in case you wish to have some more once you will see that in well-covered seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash soap they are dead corabeth it need to were whilst you hit that fell on the bike don’t ask anybody who is alright anyway I so i am getting up dad mustn’t just take that out with the highest of a hammer i’m looking that field over there Oh continuing to try this I simply must the wrong way it’s no use Ted you can under no circumstances get it surely right I suggestion I had it there a whilst ago you understand you’re watching okay like an less difficult to hold banging away you’re a perfectionist head you understand it’s no longer too dangerous quantity look so no we are not able to give that away the prize okay why don’t you sleep on it see the way you consider within the morning perhaps you’re right with simply destroyed a automobile that’s worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the signs we’re lifeless the bitch will kill us we’re lifeless we’re lifeless oh thanks to Allah I more often than not needed that however yeah don’t ever do it once more how what are we going to can we would run away no they simply in finding us once more they normally do all correct little bit that other phase that has the automobile on the dancing priest fitted him sure and it would be the same sort of car and everything how might we get him to offer it to us possibly perhaps we would just get a lender’s ah however when somebody wins it within the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stick with me what if what if we equipped the rasuls in order that we surprise then we might bring the automobile back ooh that’ll be terribly improper Ted i don’t feel we should do this it wouldn’t be dishonest rather to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in this sort of method that the return involves the benefactors as a substitute than the beneficiaries mmm Google severely hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the car he’ll kill us and homicide is a terrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we truely be saving a bishop soul fair sufficient and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the same colour grownup you intellect Jack here I will probably be extra oh whats up come on in will you join me but be right down to holo i’m no longer what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the one approach to reward God you realize and it maintains your face is pink all correct then is there something on the telephone about taking a mortgage at a vehicle sure you would be doing us a satisfactory prefer oh don’t be silly simply take care of it do not supply it away in a bet or some thing and somebody mentioned they saw it on tv lately in a documentary you might be in Belfast for whatever that wasn’t me that used to be a more youthful fella ripped off the suggestion don’t like speaking about well I higher be heading on thanks again for no main issue Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you go away a mark in the window are we there yet Google it’s a long force you want to head for a whilst yes the whole thing’s excellent our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing back there father ingesting for the like acid your try this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem perhaps you will have to have rested lifter it can be an extended drive you you’ve gotten a bit sleep o.K. K we Laszlo believe the air and the night shift taking it by means of till three:00 dr.Dale excellent morning sirs that is John Morgan underneath John Morgan morning exhibit it is a attractive day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes not for a moment there relatively huh let’s go via it once more I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical quantity on them say eleven eleven to 1 and that is easy to recall hit and then once I’m doing the draw will ensure that you’ve got that quantity right so we won’t ought to exchange in any respect well that is absolutely how we’re cheating do it okay okay k so let me get this straight you’ll be able to be sporting the Hat no no I is not going to be carrying any hats the tickets might be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I won’t be giving you any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that is my quantity and are available up and accumulate the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah this is the sandwiches for tonight always a menace I forgot to do my scan what scan is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and check out it and if it would not meet my specifications I put a variety of them in the bin they’re satisfactory proper so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp quality virtually I can’t look ahead to tonight like that I sell a load of tickets first about I sell greater than you do Ted hmm no this is a bit love it’s just a little like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you’re Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper accomplished it can be like NASA how do you hold track of all of it oh sure it’s particularly simple fairly you feel here we’ve got the 2 turntables which I control from the blending guest right here this which means that that you could flip between files if you wish to get just a little of an old jam going you know good I inform you i can twist what files we acquired for us files and there’s reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the train did you seem at any files only a 2d uh preserve on a 2d I could have one have one open the vehicle cup of tea father going how would you prefer to be the primary to buy a chance ticket oh look – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and that i consider I possibly in with a excellent hazard today shut up silly that’s how many takes just one ah all proper I handiest want one my fortunate number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that 11 what at all times been lucky for me and we’re out of eleventh I concept I used to be your first purchaser sure sure but come what I feel this one got here with out eleventh I mentioned of wash i will give you a quantity ten and a quantity one and that laptops can have 19 have them each for 50p no i do not consider so father i’d better have my money back that is pleasure for cherishing proof sorry father I don’t want whatever Jack’s bought to always reply the individual oh god I better go on rescue me be long gone mad no he is pleasant they may be simply having a chat but Dougal people the most boring priest on this planet he was once working in Nigeria a few years ago and he woke up one morning to seek out that each person in the village it has sufficient of them and long gone off in a colossal boat sank after mine there eaten via alligators we run the gas off the electrical energy and the electrical power off the gasoline and we saved 200 pounds a yr however then a number of weeks later god i’m going to by no means disregard it now we got a new boiler are you all right there Fozzie i’ll simply turn and comply with the man there through the item there final year how did you fare with yours I do not know what due to the fact that you understand they have got no morals and and no recognize for human lifestyles but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have got the best assortment of boilers on this planet and include Canada I just wish to borrow Jack from the second correct oh god I remember the first time I noticed that boiler no beautiful i do not think you need to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted considering that you realize that you may purchase them down the shop you understand any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot all of the means up to four hundred nine I suppose it’s and if you need extra they ship off for them and now you send them back in an envelope now you realize the entire present day factor now rectangular of four corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the ancient envelopes oh yes yeah no circular envelopes for me no means maintain that used to be a company identify ye had problem with a job Oh tickets for the raffle someone any individual that knows how to deposit kick it come over here thank you very so much thank you sorry no longer the wait individuals the concern with the historical disco fortunately though I’ve got a couple of old neighbors to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be okay located the file okay all right how concerning the tickets you keep bees you are for four kilos playing heads blowing me Father I imply grandfather each of them scan power the Delta pending to the name Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i’m going to write them go forward first-rate what number of when you take two thousand come on right here appear at I at all times do your examine no I I cannot say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no seem you you preserve them you should be throwing around that type of money and i would like an extra ticket booklet this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i can rarely maintain a straight face again there prime of the town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the fundamental stuff the raffle the final rasa-lila that was once very interesting since the people who ran the raffle clearly wanna so it’s now not amazing for that to happen k and the profitable quantity is quantity 11 quantity 11 number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they come up on stage what’s that you simply tape all of the work you need to winning quantity what determine of Bob had been very historical father drove over wire acquired on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching on the ticket the other way up i do know what a wonderful evening now we have had now we have raised enough money to repair the roof and now we have had a quality time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our country wide Anthem shake i’m going to see you next week please please one more chance to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a citadel pity priest no they they they have got you each way you understand I was once within the a a there you already know for a whilst and and the insurance was very expensive I all right I needed to crash the car simply to get the money again they had witnesses who stated they’d see me recommended towards the wall you understand there was once speak of me going to jail for a while yourself mr. John horrible information it can be father Finnegan he’s all right overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day but he simply couldn’t discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a coronary heart attack no are there any more chip repair doesn’t mean we will maintain the carrot head Coogan’s that’s a horrible factor to assert the person is simply pull wait a second you are correct we will additional take off how’d you get the air recent story ah Oh God blame the vehicle now not the brand new auto tell me the truth have you been ingesting yes inform me from the opening the place did you force chops please nook shops hi there Oh shucks tow trucks specific perhaps there is some thing we can salvage it can be no longer about head yes god I concept to be much worse than that Oh bollocks the condominium shouldn’t be that unhealthy oh well as a minimum you still have the rattle cash for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so because of that low stress will commonly be seeing a lot more rain at least unless July or probably until August God Almighty think someone being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was rigged head I consider we will be all right as long as the tree would not fall via the roof for a moment there I suggestion a bit of advice my father gave to me now this no longer simplest refers to lagging but all varieties of insulation he said don’t ever at no no wait although it might normally normally no no it was certainly not yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favourite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the first one there now that is the sound of a fridge the second one 2d one that that is the sound of a man buzzing yeah lady humming III knew a woman as soon as but she died soon after now in the event you push me to it i’d have got to say my favorite colour was gray so blue a soft blue with a hint of grey now Lauren orange that’s an orange or Matlin i’ve an extension put on the apartment now and that i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you