#who the fuck brought Maxim?
Photo
Dave Foley, ‘’Maxim’’ #15, 1999
Source
#dave foley#Maxim#maxim magazine#who the fuck brought Maxim?#I mean who was this magazine even for?#Mandatory kids in the hall reference#black and white photography#black and white photos
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thoughts cooking.
mountain glenn, grimm overwhelmed the city and the people took shelter in caves, building an entire underground city after the destruction above. an explosion later opens a breach into a grimm nest, grimm flood the city again, and vale seals off the tunnels, implicitly without attempting rescue or evacuation, sacrificing the people to protect the core city.
<- same choice ironwood made.
“i see lives that could have been saved,” and all. vale created the world’s largest tomb.
fast forward a few decades. a single transport ship approaches vacuo with the news that salem came to vale and “there’s nothing left.” the huntsmen aboard “led the civilian retreat, brought as many people as we could…”
that turn of phrase—‘led the civilian retreat’—doesn’t evoke a panicked, disorganized scramble to get away from vale. it calls to mind the orderly evacuation procedures we saw during the battle for beacon, where people were loaded efficiently into transports to move them from beacon into a safe zone established in vale. port and oobleck were in charge of that retreat too. (and it demonstrated generally that emergency evacuation is something vale has on a lock—the assault on beacon blindsided everyone but the kingdom’s crisis response plan sprang into action like a well-oiled machine.)
only one ship, though.
when cinder attacked beacon, they retreated to a safe zone in vale. when salem hit vale, the immediately obvious place to establish a safe zone is patch—it’s close by but separated by a body of water, and it’s relatively defensible (an island). unlike vale, patch probably doesn’t have the room or resources to support a large urban population indefinitely, but you can use it as a relatively secure staging area for a subsequent evacuation to somewhere else. what you probably can’t do is squeeze anything like the majority of vale’s population onto patch island. (i mean, you could if it’s as huge as it appears to be on the map, but the map is NOT to scale and i get the impression that patch is supposed to be quite small.)
mountain glenn. “i see lives that could have been saved.” vale’s greatest failure, standing abandoned as a dark reminder. and “if you can’t learn from [history], you’re destined to repeat it.” did vale learn from its failure in abandoning mountain glenn to die?
in this fractal spiral of a story. ironwood didn’t get his way, but what if he had? “we are saving who we can” -> “brought as many people with us as we could,” with the history teacher whose chosen purpose is to prevent another mountain glenn from happening hunched over, haunted, in the background. is this a fucking counterfactual.
also if there were people left behind in vale, the mountain glenn undercity is the obvious place for them to flee. it’s not safe, but you can get there from vale through the tunnels (less exposed than driving or flying above ground) and if you can barricade the points of ingress to the cavern, it’s at least a more defensible place to set up an encampment than anywhere out in the open.
and i mean it might be that salem massacred the city and let one ship escape to maximize the damage to morale and provoke as much outrage as possible for the sake of getting the sword out of that vault. but mountain glenn is such a crucial narrative cornerstone, and vale has a history of making the kind of sacrifices ironwood tried to make with mantle, and the specific phrasing used here is interesting (“nothing left” vs “no one left,” “civilian retreat” implying an orderly process a la the evacuation from beacon).
i think it’s also the more narratively interesting and dynamic choice for there to have been a judgment call to leave a large number of people behind—it’s a counterfactual vehicle for unpacking team rwby’s conflicted feelings about their decision-making in atlas through comparison to what vale’s leadership did in the same situation, and there being some ambiguity as to whether anyone else survived allows for a thin ray of hope (maybe there are some people still alive) to galvanize the coalition into a counteroffensive (if there’s even the smallest possibility of survivors, we need to help them. we have to try.) and you draw the tension in salem’s character between her extremism and her effort to chart what she believes is the minimally destructive course to the surface by putting a survivor’s encampment within her immediate reach.
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Love is Inevitable
A "Humanity Fuck Yeah!" "Humans are Space Orcs" type of story, except that instead of an alien species admiring us for our ability to endure physical hardships, they admire us for our ability to endure grief.
Love is Inevitable
In the ages since contact had been made with the Earth and the human species, the other rational races of the Pan-Galactic Alliance had their various reasons for either abhorring or admiring them. A great many of the peoples admired Humanity for their general physical endurance – the ability to recover quickly from wounds and to withstand conditions that would kill a great many beings. However, the Mhrr’ah held them in awe for a very different kind of endurance.
First contact between the two species was a bit awkward because humans could not help but compare the Mhrr’ah to a certain kind of pet animal they kept. “Kitty!” - They resembled bipedal cats save for the small horns upon their heads, longer, boxier faces and notable biological differences such as reproduction through eggs. In turn, the Mhrr’ah compared humans to the golb, a small, bald, purplish-colored animal they kept as friends, although they were arguably more pig-like or doggish.
Their respective choice of pets, strangely, was what had started conversation which led to the Mhrr’ah thinking of humans as particularly tough.
The Mhrr’ah were rather appalled that humans kept companion animals that did not match their own lifespans. They were even more confounded by the ability of human beings to pick up and keep working and living after the loss of kin. The Mhrr’ah were highly emotional beings. As soon as they had grown, they tended to part ways with their parents, but stayed in touch with their clutch-mates. They formed attachments with mates and friends of similar health-status and age (and they did live long, by the human reckoning) so as to maximize the likelihood of a life together. Most forms of conflict on their planet were a distant memory of ancestral forms because of this peculiar type of empathy.
If one Mhrr’ah in a friend or family group died, the rest of their strong attachments was sure to follow. It was almost unheard of for one to lose a life-mate and not to have their own body shut down in pure despair within months of the event.
Conversations with humans brought up widows, those who had lost brothers, best friends, parents and animal companions time and again. Humans spoke to them of Stages of Grief and of the ways they’d sought out each other to support themselves through it. They spoke of ghost stories and mythical lands of the dead where some hoped to be reunited someday with those they’d loved. The Mhrr’ah, who did not understand how one could fall, but not the others in one’s chosen circle would bow their heads in salute to the resilient human explorers and tradesmen they’d met if they ever had a sad story.
And that is to say nothing of other tales the humans told them – the loss of homes, the loss of friends though things other than death, various mental breakdowns that they could recover from.
This, to them, was far more impressive than any physical endurance that humans ever had.
The Mhrr’ah were a people who were careful to keep to small circles and careful to keep themselves safe. They tried to distance themselves from forming friendships with humans even as they’d formed partnerships of mutual benefit simply because they knew that humans felt strong emotions, too, but were shorter lived than they were. A human might keep a Mhrr’ah in their memory if they’d loved and lost a friend, but a Mhrr’ah would not be capable of it for long. In the end, they’d even formed attachments with pets knowing that they would outlive them by many spans.
When asked, the humans said something that resonated with all Mhrr’ah. “We really can’t help it. Love is inevitable.”
#hfy#humans are space orcs#humans are weird#science fiction#short stories#short story#cat-people#humans are amazing#fiction
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The Pagon Prologue: Brick by Brick
Read the first part here
Not stopping at the military operatives, Pagon asked for more manpower to be utilized to infiltrate Russian criminal society in order to fund the establishment of New Skrullos in a way that is less track-able by the government in Moscow. It's a process of starting to build their ideal temporary home brick by brick, and after the groundwork with the military, they need to stretch out their control a bit further
Posing as the decorated General, Pagon strut his way to meet an old friend of the General that went rogue and eventually worked for a criminal oligarch.
The friend would never expect that it was all just a ruse by the manipulative Skrull as he got hauled and then locked away in the Fracking Pod where a Skrull operative named Zirksu took his likeness and absorbed his memories to infiltrate deeper amongst the criminal underworld
Just like wildfires, the Skrull moved swiftly and decisively, targeting oligarch from various background that they found necessary to support the success of their operation. Starting from the commander's best friend boss who owned sprawling construction empire and illicit drug trafficking mixed with it named Wassily Kirilenko. He was in the middle of his workout in his private gym when his very own right hand man who spotted his bench press suddenly shape shifted right in front of his eyes and pressed the heavy weight to crush his body. After telling fellow Skrulls he brought along that already infiltrated the innermost security detail of the oligarch to dispose the real body, he checked himself in the mirror and flexed his newfound affinity for big tattooed muscle and the insane thirst for power and control
Skrull love to toy around with their target and taunted them to the maximum pain before locking them away in the Fracking Pods or outright killing them. Just like how Nuro taunted Maxim Yagudin, a former KGB spy turned telco oligarch, on how Yagudin is not that smart after all for being easily tricked by a shapeshifting alien half his size.
"Let's see later how you got so rich, bro. I have theory in my mind that it's all about nepotism and being an eye-candy for an influential widow with wide connection from what I read about you, but I'll know every single thing about you without you even saying a single word anyway.....so.....keep your mouth shut," he said before choking him close to his death to make him unconscious
But all in all, the infiltration of the criminal oligarch can be qualified as a successful operation. Not only they raised so much more capital to support the cause, now they have wide range of services they can use and manipulate to further wreck havoc among human. For example, he might look young, but Gennady Tatishvili is a real danger with his 10,000 well-armed militia that he inherited from his father
The Skrull operative that is directed to pose as him cornered him to the en-suite bathroom in his own sprawling mansion where he met his demise after a heart attack for being so goddamn terrified when he witnessed the Skrull shapeshifted from a woman he's about to fuck to a perfect replica of himself. A portable fracking devices he brought along proven to be handy as he copied all Gennady's memory before leaving the real body unattended in his own pool of pee and sweat, a tragic end to an up and coming oligarch overlord. The plan on his militia is to basically do Gravik's dirty work without sacrificing Skrull operatives in the process
Then, there's this trio of gun manufacturer and also owner of various exclusive restaurant, clubs and gyms across Russia and its former Soviet area. Gravik simply want to have endless gun supply to support his causes to wage war among humans and what better way other than seizing the control in its production to do just that. The high-end chain of entertainment spots can also work wonder for the Skrulls as it will ease transportation process of goods to remain illicit and untraceable. Plus, the spots are well-known among the 1% so it's a perfect breeding ground to get more shells if necessary. The 3 man are related because the first two (Aleksander Samsonov and Boris Samsonov) are step-brother from the same father while the last one (Jurij Alimov) is an in-law that entered the family through marriage with the eldest child and only daughter of the Samsonov family. They were kidnapped as their dinner already spiked with sedatives that can knock an elephant within minutes, and they all fell flat to their plates of privately-catered food in the confine of their own home not even a minute after their first bite. They never wake up during the transfer of their body to the continously-developing Skrulls operation base and once they lined up to the fracking pods, Skrull operatives already await to replicate them and returned right away to their estate in order to not raise any suspicion
Usually, before these operatives went out of their way to live life as humans for God knows how long, Pagon as the Acting General of New Skrullos will test the operatives loyalty and dedication to the cause. Ibragim Musayev is a high-ranked Chechen officials that the Skrulls decided to target since he has close connection with some scientist that would be beneficial for the Skrulls cause, and obviously, Chechen militia (do we need to spell this out?). As the Skrull operatives finished changing into Musayev, Pagon asked him to stand straight and interrogate him
"What's your name?"
"Warrior,"
"What's your fight?"
"Skrullos,"
"What's your dream?"
"Home.....in my own skin,"
"Your enemy is?"
"Humans, of all kind, sir,"
"Can you assure me your utmost dedication to the cause and will not let any humane distraction swerved you from the goal?"
"Yes I can, sir,"
"Well, let the time talk on that. Remember warrior, no spot, no flaw. You're Ibragim Musayev now and there's no going back unless I or Gravik tell you to,"
And just like that, the 260 lbs 6'5" mass monster of a military commander just walk right out to the next room to pick up his clothings, ready to straighten up some unruly Chechen fighters under his command and see how beneficial the scientific community he has close ties with can be leveraged and utilized for the cause of his people
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hello hello! may I ask for ace, sabo and sanji getting a blowjob from their s/o who is hiding under the desk during a meeting (or something to that effect)? Hope this is okay to ask! thank you! <3
Heyya!🍞 sure thing! I originally was going to do headcanons then they ended up as little scenarios 🤣 hope you enjoy~ 🍀
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(Gender Neutral)
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NSFW Scenarios: Ace, Sabo, Sanji getting a blowjob from their S/O who is hiding under the desk during a meeting (Or something to that effect)
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🍋Warning: NSFW - (Oral sex, Public, Face fucking- think that's it 🤣)
Total word count: 2,503
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🔥 Portgas D. Ace 🔥
Word count: 725 words
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Ace went into the room where they would chart the courses, keep the maps and overall the best place to be when you're planning a solo adventure. Especially when one needs a little brushing up of geography. {Name} came into the room during their ventures to find Ace and decided to ask where he was planning on heading to this time. "Just looking for someone... you know how it is" Ace replied, holding a carefree smile and giving {Name} a light peck. {Name} returns with a longer kiss, maybe one with a little evident hinting. Ace raises an eyebrow, the intentions were pretty transparent but who was he to deny his partner. He leaned in and gave another kiss, one a little deeper and heated. However relatively tame considering the two of them. Ace pulled {Name} closer, stumbling into the table in the process. {Name} smiled at seeing just how eager Ace acted, they grabbed the bugle protruding from his shorts and caught him off guard. The moan that left his lips was quite surprising and louder than usual. A sly smile rested on {Name's} lips "My my, you're quite sensitive today~" they teased, slipping a hand into his shorts to stroke his cock. Ace felt tempted to take it a step further, maybe bending {Name} over the table... before anything could happen, the door rattled and pushed open.
Marco steps into the room, surprised to see Ace standing over the map table, concentrating very hard on what was in front of him. That was from Marco's perspective, from Ace's perspective he saw {Name} kneeling in front of him. An evil look in their eye and their hands rubbing his thighs, {Name} quietly undid his shorts. Planting a few feather light kisses all the way up to his sensitive point. Ace's eyes practically showed panic he wanted to shake his head in protest because Marco was right there. Noticing this and choosing to ignore it, {Name} gave a few enticing kitty licks to his already sensitive cock. They wanted to laugh at seeing how desperately his legs were shaking. Ace nearly moans when he feels what {Name} is doing, his nails dig into the table and he curses under his breath. Marco looks over to see Ace and notices he looked like he's not feeling too hot, "Are you alright-yoi?" Maybe due to being a doctor Marco asked a question in all seriousness due to his crewmates odd actions. Ace flashes a grin "I-I'm fine... think I just caught a cold" Ace's word came out more strained and breathy than he would have liked. "Only idiots catch colds in summer" Marco retorted. At that moment, {Name} picks up the pace. Drawing long strokes of his cock, taking him into their mouth, out and tracing their tongue up his length and around the head. Making sure to capitalize on every weak spot he has. All the while Ace is trying to hold a relatively decent conversation with Marco. {Name} only grows more devious, concentrating on maximizing their capabilities but still keeping it quiet. It's definitely worth it, seeing Ace so flustered and trying so hard is terribly cute. {Name} brought their hands into the mix, stroking his cock while focusing their mouth on his head. Once they learned all the secret spots Ace enjoyed being touched, it became ever so easy to toy with him. Ace keeled over the table, accidentally biting his tongue to stay quiet. Marco began taking steps towards him to see if he needed help or lost his balance due to his cold, Ace chuckled showing an innocent expression to Marco. "I just bit my tongue" Ace stuck out his tongue and the little red droplets seemed to proved his point. {Name} felt him getting close, and they just decided to drive him to that edge faster. At Ace's nervous face, Marco sighed and shook his head "Finish up and go rest, or else I'm sending {Name} your way-yoi." "S-sure..." Ace sighed, his hands weaved into {Name's}hair, pulling them away and gritting his teeth hard to keep his sounds contained. He looked down to see them smiling up at him, innocent as an angel and their face covered with his cum. "Seriously {Name} what am I going to do with you?..." Ace sighed, "Well rest, doctors orders you know..." they chirped back.
🎩 Sabo 🎩
Word Count: 720 words
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Sabo signed off on another document, set aside and picked up another. {Name} sat in his lap, dying of boredom while waiting for Sabo to finish his work. It seems the only time they would be together was when {Name} watched him working. They huffed, trying to display their boredom in the hopes Sabo would pay attention. He just smiled and carried on working. "Just wait a little more love, I need to finish this before the meeting." Sabo stated, as he did every other day. Paperwork came first. {Name} didn't want to admit that they were getting jealous over his work, but at this point they couldn't deny it. Just how long had it been since they spent proper time together? {Name} clasped his face in their hands and pulled him in for a fervent kiss. "Mm...love, behave now and I'll spoil you later." Sabo replied, nonchalantly brushing them off for more accursed paperwork. Sabo was like this now because he was in work mode, but if one were to...flip his switch then Sabo would be the one to act on his desire. {Name} decided to change their strategy, no more subtle hints but an outright show of what they want. They straddled him, their legs dangled on either side of his chair, not the most comfortable position but it would do for now. Sabo tried to keep his mind solely on his work despite {Name} nibbling and kissing his neck, dragging their mouth down to his chest and grinding on him, all of it was starting to get him a little hot and bothered. {Name} could tell that Sabo was starting to get affected with their little plan, they stood up and slid down to rest between his legs and shuffled to situate themselves in the space under the the desk. They unbuttoned his pants, with all due confidence saying "I'll take care of this for you~" {Name} didn't tease, but headed straight into the main course. Sabo leaned his head back, chuckling "What a little tease." Sabo sighed, getting caught up with the pleasure, so much so he forgot to keep an eye on the time. When the intrusive knock on the door proved to indicate the time of the meeting. Sabo looked at {Name}, he readjusted his position "Be good for me and take care of that love" Sabo whispered before calling out to the door "Come in."
The people filled the room and each took their assigned seats at the long table. Thus began the meeting. Sabo held an annoyingly perfect poker face, he looked completely unfazed. It would doubtful that anyone could ever guess he had his partner under the desk, giving him head right then and there. {Name} was determined to see him crack and watch his facade crumble, they tried their best to deep throat him. Taking as much of his thick cock as they possible could manage, the ferver and unexpected feeling caught him off guard. {Name} dug their nails into his thighs, Sabo coughed trying to stifle the groan that wanted to escape him. He cast a quick glance down to see {Name} practically glowing with that stupid smirk, knowing exactly what they were doing. The meeting droned one, Sabo subtley reached his hand under the desk and grabbed {Name's} head, forcibly taking control and setting the pace. He wanted to curse aloud, his thoughts filled with a variety of swear words as the tension that had been building came undone, his body shuddered with the pleasure, {Name} wanted to pull away due to how much he had cum in their mouth, Sabo was more pent up than he let on. Sabo bit his lip hard, containing any suspicious sounds and put his head down. Those in the meeting had just assumed he was deep in thought. Looking down at his partner he flashed a sweet and mischievous smile before mouthing the word "Swallow" even though {Name} was the one started it, he was the one who finished. Seeing his partner all teary eyed and flustered proved amusing. Thankfully the meeting finally decided to wrap up and everyone left. The moment the door closed, Sabo stood up, pulling {Name} towards him and pushing them into his chair, he sunk to his knees and sweetly stated "Time to return the favour~"
🍽 Sanji 🍽
Word count: 1,058 words
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Sanji whisked around the kitchen, doing so many different things simultaneously while preparing lunch for the crew. {Name} popped their head in, wanting just a little pre-lunch snack. Sanji smiled when he saw his beloved, lurking around the kitchen wanting to ask for a snack. He fed them bits and pieces, lots of little taste tests whole preparing the meals and hoping it would satiate their appetite. After having their fill, enough to stop the grumbling {Name} offered to help, slipping on one of Sanji's spare aprons. Sanji's eyes practically burst seeing his partner dressed in an apron, it was a bit of a fantasy of his. Noticing his heart filled eyes, {Name} giggled and easily saw through his thoughts. They decided to quote the famous "Do you want dinner, a bath, or me?~♡" {Name} accentuated their last suggesting with a little kiss. Sanji's nose dripped with a steady stream of blood, {Name} was quick to help him stop it, despite his constant chanting of "You, you, you, want you."
"So you chose me hmm" {Name} purred, running their hands down his chest, pressing a very light but alluring kiss to his lips. Poor Sanji was already entranced, even with the short kiss they could taste his cigarettes. {Name} felt something pressing into them, noticing Sanji's antsy puppy expression and his reddened cheeks. "I guess you really do want me" they teased, seeing how hard he got from a mere kiss. Sanji settled his expression opting to take a sauve approach "I think after lunch, we should have some dessert..
Just the two of us" he took a hold of their hand and placed a quick peck with a hinting glint in his eye. "Well I'm not opposed to giving you an entrée" {Name} teased, their hands prodded at the growing bulge in his pants, Sanji chuckled, he wasn't going to say no... but their location wasn't exactly safe. Quite open and easy to get caught. "That's dangerous..." he sighed, {Name} feigned innocence and looked at him with those eyes, while their teeth caught his zipper and pulled it down. Sanji is a man that appreciated the effort of a show after all. Their hands skillfully made quick work of his pants, {Name} decided a little teasing was due. Leaving a trail of hickies all over his thighs, little marks of their presence and affections. The teasing was driving Sanji mad, the way they led up right he wanted them and {Name} would retreat, kissing somewhere else. The anticipation, the build up and the anti-climax. He tried to pour his focus into cooking, and finishing the meals as opposed to the tempting show right before him. {Name} taunted his desires, barely touching but occasionally making 'accidental' contact. They mouthed lightly, giving little kisses to his cock but nothing to drive him up the wall just yet. Sanji couldn't bring himself to tell them to stop, he really didn't want {Name} to stop despite having them contribute to a different kind of appetite. {Name} gave his cock nothing but very light touches, little kisses and just watched as Sanji slowly started losing his mind with frustration and desire. Sanji lit another cigarette, forcing his mind to concentrate on cooking, as if the timing couldn't be more terrible the door swung open. Luffy rushed in, followed by Zoro, Chopper and Franky. {Name} held a devilish grin on their lips "Better keep quiet if you don't want them to hear you."
Immediately after their 'warning', they sucked Sanji's cock into their mouth. The feeling of the warmth and wetness gave both reprieve and torture, considering the amount of restraint Sanji needed to exercise right now...it wasn't easy. Luffy dragged his feet to the seat, groaning about dying from hunger and wanting to know the specifics of when food would be ready. "In a while....I decided to make dessert too so it's taking longer" Sanji's voice sounded ragged, a growl of frustration practically stuck in his throat. Sanji hoped they would leave the kitchen after hearing that he wasn't done cooking, instead they all just decided to loaf around, waiting for food. Practically sitting a stones throw away from where {Name} currently hid. Zoro decided it was late enough, food wasn't prepared but it's always a good time for booze. And the really good stuff is kept in a cupboard right where Sanji was standing. Zoro planned to walk over and grab it, thankfully being anticipated by Sanji he grabbed the booze before Zoro walked over the whole way. In attempt to keep the distance between them Sanji had to lean a little over the counter to hand the bottle to Zoro. Sanji closing the distance to pass the booze to him resulted in him accidentally pushing his cock deeper into {Name's} throat. Sanji trembled, the way {Name} felt around his cock made his legs weak. Zoro took the booze from him without thinking much about the uncharacteristic act of goodwill from the swirly brow. He headed out to go drink and have a small nap. Sanji wanted to recklessly buck his hips, greedily wanting more, just wanting to end this drawn out endeavor when he was so close to cumming. Against his wishes he retracted his hips to give his partner a moment to breathe. It ultimately proved pointless considering how {Name} instantly went back to what they were doing immediately. Sanji's hand tangled into their hair, one hand on the counter to keep him grounded and upright. He felt dizzy from the pleasure, an unexpected explosion caused a stir amongst the rest of the crewmates, Sanji refused to care about what was going on outside, he heard someone talking about Usopp's new ammo being the source of the explosion. The rest of the crewmates flooded out to see what was going on, that moment of privacy was all Sanji needed. He thrust his hips, unable to be patient anymore. His voice sounded throughout the kitchen. He pressed his hand harder into the counter as he hit an intense climax. He froze, trying to catch his breath. He opened his eyes and looked at {Name} trying to clean themselves up, licking their lips and wiping up whatever was on their face. As Sanji opened his mouth, his words were replaced with dissapointed and panicked silence when he smelled his food burning.
#one piece#portgas d ace#sabo#sanji#trashytoastboi#gender neutral#gender neutral pronouns#gender neutral s/o#gender neutral reader#ns.fw#unholy toast#lemon#smut#fluff#romance#ace x reader#sabo x reader#sanji x reader#one piece headcanon#one piece headcanons#one piece scenarios#one piece imagines
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Okay, so, two things:
One, does Leo ever get jealous or upset when he sees kids with loving and caring parents?
Two, maybe a fic where Leo hasn’t been feeling well all day and on his way home he sees a super sweet family with a dad and a cute giggly son, and for some reason his feverish brain combined with the sweetness sends him into a depression episode. And then he goes home and takes Benadryl for his fever and his anti depressants as well, and basically over-sedates himself, and Jon gets home later to find Leo almost completely out of it and he freaks out.
I know you’re doing the mini saga rn, but I was thinking maybe you could do this after?
Sorry if this request is too long!!!😭😭!!😭
I'm sorry it took forever to write this!! This poor fic has been in my drafts for too long, I'm so sorry!
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Leo knew he was not supposed to covet things that weren't his. That had been a maxim of his father and during most days Leo still agreed to it, all trauma aside.
Except during the holidays. He wasn't sure what was it about the end of the year that brought up the ugliest parts of him. Maybe it was all the fake glee or the longer nights and shorter days or the fact he wasn't practicing nearly as much sports or the fact that consumerism was off the charts and even though he could afford things now, he didn't think he'd ever get rid of that feeling in the pit of his stomach when standing in a cashier line. Maybe it was all that put together.
Or maybe it was the drilling about Holiday Spirit. In his house that had meant discounted alcoholic eggnog and much screaming, his father calling him a "little elf", school being out for recess so him being stuck in a house with no heat and an incredibly pissed off man, who was drunk off his ass.
For everyone else, though, holiday spirit meant being more kind or loving or charitable. Right. Leo rolled his eyes as he watched his coworker boast about the charity he was helping at the end of the year.
There was also the fact that the "philanthropy works" that his colleagues liked to gloated about were more often than not directed at people who were just Leo, except seven years ago.
He pressed on his keyboard with a little more force, rubbing at his temples. He had a headache from all the smells permeating the office — Sandras' peppermint candle, Chuck's cinnamon rolls he had brought for everyone else, Dean's fucking overpowering cologne his girlfriend had gifted him — and the loud noise wasn't making his life any better.
Leo sighed, squinting at his screen. Normally he could do his job in his sleep. Research had always been his forte, even back in high school, and he knew he aced it, because his boss always planted him as the paralegal for the big clients, where the lawyer would need a lot of research help in a short period of time.
Today he was struggling to put two and two together, let alone figure out if there were any similar cases that could serve as their defense. His stomach grumbled and Leo decided he needed a break from Sandra and Dean's incessant bickering, getting up and going to the coffee machine.
"Hey Wagner," Chuck opened a little smile, "what's with the sour face?"
"Headache," Leo answered truthfully, grabbing the biggest paper cup and starting the coffee machine. Damn, he really needed one of these back at home, "it's fine, there's just forty minutes more."
"That sucks man, feel better," Chuck said, but didn't move, "do you have any plans for the holiday break?"
"That's only next month," Leo wrinkled his nose in distaste. Could people stop pre-gaming for December in the middle of fucking November? Halloween had just happened-
"Well, there's thanksgiving," Chuck shrugged, "in less than two weeks."
"Oh," Leo sighed, having completely forgotten thanksgiving. He didn't think he had ever celebrated that.
"Are you going back home?"
Ha!
Leo nearly snorted in his coffee cup, instead changing it halfway so it looked like he was just blowing off the steam, "no, there's n- No. It's just me and Jon, so I'll probably do whatever his plans are."
Which Leo didn't think he had any... Jonah's plans lately were solely eat, sleep, study, hand in his final works for graduation, work. Rinse repeat.
"Hope you guys have fun," Chuck smiled brightly, before side stepping him and walking back to his desk, "get a turkey or something."
"Or something," Leo grumbled, squeezing his eyes and shuddering violently. He was also freezing. He blamed that on Sandra, who just had to wear the fancy coat she got in the designer sale at Nordstrom, so the a/c was at stupidly low levels, for sure.
Even though he had said it was just forty minutes more, they dragged. By the time Leo managed to get out of the office, his headache had escalated significantly and his stomach was hurting, since all he had eaten all day was a pastry at lunch and copious amounts of coffee. He was freezing to the point of his teeth chattering and he it was only when he stepped out of the elevator, buttoning up his coat, that he realized most people didn't seem to be feeling that chilly.
Sandra poked his side, "Wagner, you mind?"
He had stopped right at the ID scan, so he quickly apologized, jumping to the side as she scanned her card and then looked over her shoulder at him, "are you alright?"
"What?" Leo squinted at her, the lights reflecting off her blonde hair.
"Are you feeling alright?" Sandra repeated, "you're quieter than usual, that's all."
"Yeah, uhm..." He shrugged, running his own ID over the scan and joining her as they walked to the parking lot, "I'm fine, I'm just freez-" he shut up, stunned into silence when his co-worker lightly touched his forehead, getting on her tiptoes to reach him.
"You're running a fever there, Wagner," she rolled her eyes, clicking her car keys, "are you alright to drive?"
"Yeah, of course!" His voice came out squeaky at the sudden display of care and Sandra shrugged, smiling at him.
"Alright, take care," she waved, moving away to her designated spot and Leo was left a little stunned into silence, before collecting himself and getting in his own car. He really needed to stop being stubborn and let Bella fix his radio like she had offered, because there was just a terrible silence the entire drive home.
Leo stopped at a red light, just a street away from home and rested his forehead on the steering wheel. Now that Sandra had pointed it out, he couldn't deny the fever. Everything hurt, the sound of the wind howling outside hurt, his head was pounding, the kid's squealing as they walked ahead of their parents on the street...
He watched as a little boy ran back to his father, in a ridiculously large coat. The kid barely reached his dad's hip, he couldn't be over four years old. He was blabbing, cheeks all red and Leo watched the dad let out a chuckle and grab the lapels of his son's coat, covering his face in kisses.
Someone honked behind him and Leo jumped, startled. He had missed the green light.
The remaining 5 minutes to his house, were dark five minutes. Not only because the clouds clumped together to start spilling snow, but because his thoughts started to run down a dangerous road.
This was what he hated the most about the holidays. How his dark thoughts creeped up on him with such ease, how much emphasis was there on family and love and how it highlighted that he was painfully alone in this world. There was no place to go for thanksgiving and there was no father to smooch his face and comfort him and none of the garbage that every single TV ad was showing now.
He avoided the first floor, not in the mood to force a smile for Matthew, and once he got home, Leo went straight to the bedroom, stripping out of his tux jacket and kicking off the shoes.
JD meowed, pushing the door ajar as she entered the room, climbing the bed and forcing herself on his lap even when he paid her no mind. He was too busy trying to undo his tie with one hand, the other one running through the mess of meds they kept in the bedside table drawer.
Vaguely Leo was aware that Jonah kept more meds in the first aid kit, but he couldn't remember where it was and his head was throbbing too much and he felt like fucking crying, so he decided not to go looking. They were out of paracetamol, but still had benadryl and Leo swallowed the little pink pill dry, before opening the drawer right under that one, where he kept his own stuff.
He always took his meds in the morning and then two before bed, but even thought it was only six PM, Leo decided to just taken them already. He wanted to sleep for fifty years, maybe sleep and just... Just stop existing all together.
Leo rubbed his face at the thought, letting out a groan, and his cat let out a meow, forcing her head in the space between his arms.
"Hey," he sighed, scratching her behind the ears, "hey, sweetheart, it's okay. I'm fine. I'm not doing that..." he reassured JD, pulling on the blankets so he could crawl under them. Jonah had left the heater on, but the apartment was still freezing.
JD meowed, chewing on his now undone tie and Leo wrapped an arm around her, thinking that maybe he should get out of the office clothes.... Then fell asleep.
---------------
Jonah wasn't a festivities type of man. He had never been, not even back when he was a teenager and he definitely wasn't the type now, when he was so stressed about graduation.
Yet, he knew Leo was acting pouty for the past ten days and his bet was that it was related to the holiday season. It was very unlike Leo to not openly complain about what was upsetting him, unless it was something close to his heart, when he closed off like a clam.
So if Leo wanted Holidays, Jonah was going to give him Holidays. Hopefully with a better outcome than Halloween, Jon cringed at the thought.
"What is this?" Jon asked, as Wendy reached inside her car and pushed a big tupperware in his hand.
"Torrone," she said, fishing one of the little white squares, "it's an Italian candy, traditional around Christmas. Vin's mom sells them, but she made a huge first batch and sent him. Here's some for you and Leo."
"But Ma made them for Vince..."
"Vince has half my fridge filled with these," Wendy rolled her eyes, getting in the driver's seat of her car, "just remember to get a picture of Leo eating it so we can send it to ma."
"Alright Dee, bye," Jon sniffed one the little white bars, before turning around to get in his own car. That had been the start of his Christmas mini spree and the reason why he was going up to their apartment now carrying not just the tupperware, but a bunch of little boxes of fairy lights, a wreath and a bag of groceries to make a black forest cake.
Jon wasn't daft, he knew Leo was being terribly considerate with the fact he had all but put their whole relationship in the backburner so he could focus in the school work. He needed to woo the guy a little bit.
"Leo?" Jonah pushed the door open, before crouching down to grab all the items again, "Leo, I got a bunch of shit I think you'll like..." he thought nothing of it when there wasn't an answer, instead starting to put things away. He found a good jar for Ma's little torrones and checked on JD's food bowl, frowning as he realized Leo hadn't fed her yet.
"Leo, did you feed JD? Her bowl is empty..." he said, but still got no answer. Jonah didn't wait for one, shaking the little empty dish until he heard their cat trotting back to the kitchen, then filling it up. She snaked between his legs, purring as Jon scratched her behind the ear and watched her eat for a little bit.
Only then did he frown at Leo's full absence, walking back to their room. Jonah wasn't sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn't his boyfriend buried under all their blankets, heavily asleep. He checked his watch. Eight o'clock.
"That's early," Jonah whispered, moving closer to get a good look at his face, "Leo?"
There was no answer, not a snore, nothing. Leo's blonde hair was peaking out and so was the top half of his face, but that was it.
Jon sighed, a little bummed he was already asleep, but deciding against waking him, tiptoeing back out of the room. JD was still in the kitchen, happily munching on her treat and Jonah crouched down next to her again, "why did Leo go to bed so early, do you know?" he asked, causing the cat to stop eating for a second, before she went back in.
He put away all the groceries, then went through the fridge. They meal prepped and Jonah frowned as he realized there were exactly as many frozen dishes as there had been when he left the house earlier that day.
Happy that he had found an excuse to wake Leo up, Jonah got two containers out and put them to defrost, while walking back to the room. Leo hadn't moved a muscle and he didn't stir even when Jon sat on his side of the bed, brushing his bangs.
"Leo..." he whispered, shaking him lightly, "baby wak-" Jonah interrupted himself, noticing Leo was still wearing his office clothes. That was very unusual... So was the low heat rolling off of him.
"Goddammit Leo," Jon sighed, touching his face and feeling the low grade fever. He shook him a little harder, "Leo, wake up. You gotta eat something..."
Still nothing. By now, normally, the blonde would be blinking awake.
Jonah frowned, pushing the blankets down and shaking him a little more, "Leo, wake up..." his voice raised at the end as alarm bells started to go through his mind, so he all but rattled the other man, finally causing Leo to open his eyes.
Jon was about to let out a relieved sigh, but he didn't have the chance, as Leo slurred something unintelligible and then passed right back asleep.
Jonah rattled him again, harshly, and this time he got no reaction, not even a whine.
"Leo!" he called, leaning in so he could feel his boyfriend's breathing, planting two fingers to his jugular in search of a pulse. His own heart was drumming in his ears, so it took Jonah a second before he could differentiate what was his, what was Leo's.
The blonde's heartbeat were slow...Too slow. His breathing was weirdly timed.
Jonah felt vaguely dizzy as he looked around the room, in search of his coat. He had left his cellphone inside the pocket... He almost got sick as he saw the three different medications sitting on Leo's bedside table.
His usual Zoloft and Ambien and... Benadryl?
Jon frowned at the label, before shaking the antidepressant case and ambien. Both were still full, Leo hadn't taken more than he should... Or at least, it didn't look like he had, not on purpose.
"Baby," Jonah patted his cheeks, with more force than he'd normally use, "baby, open your eyes for me. Wake up-" he bit the inside of his cheek, before deciding that fuck that and splashing a little bit of water on his boyfriend's face.
Leo blinked, confused and drowsy, "why am I wet..." he groaned, attempting to go back to sleep, but Jonah stopped him, patting his cheek again.
"Leo, hey, look at me- How many pills did you take?"
"Uhm?" he yawned, his eyes starting to roll back again.
"LEO!" Jonah shook him vehemently, forcing the blonde to wake up, "how. many. pills?"
Leo groaned, rubbing his eyes, "Jon...?"
"Yes, baby, it's me," Jonah shook him again, holding the pill bottles in front of his face, "how many pills?"
"One," Leo slumped back against the pillow, "just one."
"Each?"
The blonde nodded, yawning again, "I don't feel so good..."
"I know, baby," Jon grabbed his shoulders again, forcing him to sit up once more, "c'mon, we're going to the ER."
"What...?" Leo groaned, slumping forward so his forehead met Jon's shoulder, "no, I'm not sick, I'm just... I'm just off..."
"Yeah, because you took two sedatives and your antidepressants," Jonah scoffed, looking one of Leo's arms around his neck, "c'mon, baby, get up."
"Jon, no, stop-" Leo weakly tried to shove off his chest, but his legs were almost jelly under him and the only thing keeping him up was Jonah holding him tightly, "I wanna sleep..."
"Nope," Jon dragged him out of the room, "no sleep for you until a psychiatrist checks you out."
"No!" Leo shoved at his arm and then stumbled back, falling sit on the edge of the bed. Jonah glared at him, feeling his own temper flare up, fueled by the sheer stress.
The stress of the situation, the panic of finding Leo like that, but also the overall stress that had been Halloween, followed by Leo's appendicitis, followed his quickly approaching deadlines...
"You're getting in the car even if I have to fucking carry you, Leo," Jonah glared at him, "get up."
If he expected to get a rise out of the blonde, he didn't. Instead Leo planted a hand on his chest and fell back on the bed, facing the ceiling as he groaned, "Jon, I feel really weird..."
"Yes, get up-"
"No, there's... There's someone standing in our hallway," Leo said and Jonah glanced at the open door and saw nothing, not even JD.
"There isn't, baby, its in your head..." he grabbed his boyfriend's arm, pulling him up again, "c'mon-"
"No, they're gonna get me."
"Ah fuck's sake," Jonah sighed, although while this was scary, he much rather have Leo fighting him and responsive than dead to the world, "no one is going to get you, Leo..."
All he got as an answer was a whimper.
"Fuck," Jon whispered, leaving the room in two steps to grab the coat he had hung behind the door and his phone, already dialing 911.
They asked him how many pills Leo had taken and upon Jonah's answer, a lady said "It doesn't sound like a suicide attempt, we're going to transfer you to poison control. Please stay on the line and stay calm."
A suicide attempt. Jonah's mouth dried as he sat right next to Leo on the bed, wrapping a hand around his wrist and feeling his pulse, barely listening as the poison control responder said that at this dosage going to the ER wasn't necessary. To keep checking on him and get loads of liquids on Leo, take him to emergency if he started throwing up or struggling to breathe.
Jon's ears were still ringing as he crouched down next to Leo again, now holding a glass of cold water, with a straw sticking out.
"C'mon, baby, just one sip, it's gonna help..."
Leo groaned again, but after a little more prodding, he did open his mouth and took the drink. Apparently he had been thirsty, because he drained the entire cup without much of Jonah's prodding.
He pulled back, looking slightly more awake, "Jon..." Leo clumsily grabbed his face, "something's wrong."
"I know, Leo," Jonah pulled back from the clumsy face squeeze, planting a kiss on the blonde's brow, "you'll feel better in the morning... Well, probably hungover as fuck, but you'll feel better in the morning..." his voice caught at the end and Leo pulled back, frowning.
"Are you sad...?"
"No, I'm fine, I'm fine," Jonah cleared his throat, "why did you take the benadryl?"
"What?" Leo blinked, struggling to keep his eyes open, "get into bed..."
"The third medication, Leo," Jonah raised the little box in front of his eyes, "why did you take it?"
"My head hurt..." Leo yawned, "had a fever... Couldn't find the right-" he yawned again, tugging on Jon's shirt to pull him closer, "the right one."
Jonah let out a little sigh of relief, allowing himself to get pulled into a clumsy, weird hug, the best that Leo's half sedated brain could do.
"I love you," he whispered, voice muffled by Leo's shirt and the blonde let out a hum, sounding like he was falling right back asleep. Still, Jonah did hear a faint, "love you too" said in return.
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Simonrileyscockring aka Maxim is a liar and claims frogchiro stole their ideas. Here's proof he lied.
@simonrileyscockring Now since you dont wanna acknowledge me or my post calling you out, i decided to make it its own post so more people can see it. I don't like liars. i don't like virtue signalers "dni proshippers" we interacted tons of times, i sent you asks, my own art, we talked in dms, i even checked on you when i worried about you and now you're worried about "proshippers" and realize the term i identify with, which means "anti-harassment, respecting peoples fictional preferences" and not whatever tiktok-brained bullshit you think it is? So convenient you say that AFTER i send you an ask asking if you were gonna acknowledge what the hell you did.
edits: the only edits i did was "@/" Konigsblog cause they said they apologized and acknowledged what they did, whether or not the apology is accepted is not up to me.
original call out below:
you absolute dunce. i LOVED your writing before but the drama on your page, responding to hate anons rather than just deleting their asks drove me off. I have so many words for you
EVERYONE can see your personal posts, they just don't LIKE them cause who the fuck wants to like a post that's a vent post? it feels wrong, people see it and choose not to react, people see you vagueing about someone stealing "your" concepts (which theyve written BEFORE cod fandom erupted on tumblr and aka before YOUR popularity) they'll want to know cause stealing writing is very serious!! but oh wait!!! they didn't steal shit!!! They never wrote about a teenager, which btw when you say all this shit and show no proof it fucking sucks!! cause people are so tiktok-brained that they will believe anything!
Because you decided to pull a fuckin mean girl move with @/konigsblog you ruined someone's love for writing and this fandom. "no one got harmed" my fucking ass. You as a writer should know that motivation comes and goes, and that hyperfixtations can be the closest thing to people. So rather than acting like a fucking man, you vague and claim they wrote about a minor as well, btw heres the teenager you claim is well, a teenager
Scaramouche is a puppet made by Raiden Ei, over 500 years ago to the current time in genshin impact. When Raiden Ei's sister had passed and she wanted to make a puppet to be the archon but she left him in a slumbering state, free from her own control cause he came to life crying which puppets aren't supposed to do. He woke up and thought she abandoned him, then OVER 5 HUNDRED YEARS AND THREE BETRYALS LATER. The fandom baby-fies him admittedly, but he's not obsessed with his mother nor does he have a teenager mentality. He's a bitter and aloof character, only getting mad when his creation or betrayals are brought up,
"a teenager physqiue" Okay lets challenge that, In the game this model is called Short_Male, it been used for Cyno, Tighnari, Kazuha, Xiao, Albedo, Mika, Chongyun, Bennet, Xingqiu, Heizou, Gorou, Venti, Razor, and even the male traveller.(I'm gonna use basic terms since you obviously never played the game if you think he's child like) Cyno is basically an officer in the game for the Akademiya, aka an adult. Tighnari is basically like a forest ranger, an adult. Kazuha sails around the sea while being a poet AND a sword expert because of his family line, becoming an expert swordsman takes YEARS even in real life, he's an adult. Xiao is over 5,000 years old and a "deputy" for an Archon. Albedo is a synthetic experiment human made 500 years ago from the current timeline in the game. Heizou is also a cop, an adult. Gorou is a fucking ADMIRAL, an adult. VENTI is literally over 2k years old. an adult. The traveller is AT LEAST over a thousand years old, cause the traveller that you choose slumbers for 500 years.
The rest are hinted to be late teenagers or early twenties depending on who you ask.
I even took pictures of these models in-game compared to a Tall_Male model!
Here's scaramouche, compared to Diluc and Tighnari! who aren't children! Now let's see an actual model of CONFIRMED children, why don't we?
here we have klee, who despite being something like 50 or 75 years old, is still mentally a child!! So she has the child model since she is still physically growing up, unlike Scaramouche AND Albedo.
Scaramouche isn't a child. he doesn't have child-like features. He's not obsessed with his mother, cause he does not have one cause motherfucker is a 500-year-old puppet, he's mentally an adult, physically an adult that was prepared for archon duties.
Sorry, i droned on about this for so long but i just fuckkking hate it when people are wrong. So blindly like you are,
here's proof that you said that, incase you go on a deleting frenzy.
Now let's talk about the point system, point systems are so widespread in real life and in fiction, even i used a point system once before. So to see it, in a COMPETITION(cause they are in the pervy AU) between men isn't weird to see. If you genuinely had a problem with this, Kin would've LOVED to talk it out with you as they're lovely and understanding human being.
the stray cat au? i even remember reading about it on both of your blogs but heres the thing.... the last time they wrote about it was in October.. of last year.
i had to search your blog just in case i was wrong in thinking they wrote it before you did.
as you can see, this is march of this YEAR. checking your archive, you made your blog back in February of this year. To claim they stole your concept of stray cat is beyond fucking insane, as well as bringing up the post with scaramouche in it cause.. that was over at least 10 months ago, cause Kin had went on a hiatus when December came around and came back with a COD hyperfixtation.
Onto the stealing the hubull concept! Searching their blog I can't find any evidence of them even writing a bull-like idea, at all. So you seemed to pull that one straight out of your ass.
So let's go over this real quick! one more time for the people in the back!!!
@simonrileyscockring made a post vagueing that someone stole their concepts and ideas, @/konigsblog replies below asking, hey who is it? maxim responds saying its @frogchiro and claiming that they wrote about a teenager and stole their point system for an au. Publicly. Instead of going to Frogchiro and trying to work it out, like a 23-year-old should. You keep drilling on about it, claiming that people trying to defend them are being your entertainment now
sure some people shouldn't have come in attacking you, i won't defend people who throw cruel words at you. You can claim this to be an attack but all i'm doing is calling you out, cause as you claim "it doesn't affect the way you live your life" you let it go and ruin someone else's way of life, destroying their love for fandom and writing. As a writer yourself that ive SEEN struggle with motivation AND hate anons, you of ALL people should fucking understand that getting your love for writing ruined is a terrible thing to happen especially when its an outlet for stress.
"i wanna talk shit in peace, not have my shit gossiped about." .. that is noooot how the internet works OR how shit-talking works, as the biggest shit-talker in MY family, i understand that when i talk shit, there's another person behind me talking shit. When YOU post vagueing about someone, and then continue talking about them, people will gossip about you. End of story. You should've blocked them in the first place, you also should've messaged Kongisblog PRIVATELY if you really wanted to avoid all of them. The only screenshots that i know that kin was sent, were you confirming that they "stole" your ideas and that they wrote about a teenager. How can they refute your claims without knowing what your claims are. They had to defend themselves from people in their inbox.
So, really in the end here, you fucked up. As a previous fan of your im highly disappointed in you but seeing how you act i doubt that will affect you, i make this post-DEFENDING frogchiro from pointless claims, AND in hopes that anyone who wants to follow you. Will find this post cause you are a fucking asshole to the core. Step back and realize that while it may not affect you, your actions affect others.
#call of duty x reader#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw2 x reader#call of duty headcanons#abo 141#141 abo#pervy 141#cod modern warfare#cod x reader#call of duty mw2 x reader#simon riley x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#kyle garrick x reader#john price x reader#phillip graves x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#rodolfo parra x reader
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not the same ganon anon but in your tags you offered strategies?? send help plz 🙏🏻
yes ok here is blueskittlesarts extended spoiler-free totk ganondorf strategy guide! specially formulated for players who generally suck at combat because me too bestie LMAO
pre-depths preparations:
as many sundelion foods as you can physically carry. fuck other healing food it just takes up inventory space. make sure your food can both restore your hearts and get rid of gloom-infected ones at the same time, and make sure you have A LOT of it. food that gives you extra hearts will also be VERY useful.
gloom-resistant food from dark clumps is ok but less useful because it doesn't stop ganon's hits from infecting your hearts, it only defends you from gloom that you might wander into on the floor of the arena. if you don't trust yourself to avoid it, bring some, but keep most of your inventory space for sundelions.
get good at flurry rush dodges if you can’t reliably perform them right now. trust me.
you want at least 100+ arrows and 60+ bomb flowers. seriously do not skimp on these things
as many STRONG shields as you can carry. try to get brand-new ones to maximize durability
i would not EVER go into this battle with less than 15 hearts. i had 17 when i fought it and was still dangerously low by the end. trust me on this
pre-ganon segment (depths):
im gonna be real you wanna savescum your way through this to maximize your survivability with ganon. do not use your food when you get hit, just reload a save and go again. save every time you beat anything, and avoid enemies at all where possible. use arrows when you have to fight but do NOT use your bombs, save those for later. the goal here is to get to the ganon’s army fight with full health without using any of the food you prepared, because there’s no teleport waypoint down there so you have to get through everything in one go. (if you have the travel medallion you may be able to negate these preparations by placing it once you get down to the last section of the depths before the battle kicks in, but I didn't so this is how i did it lol)
ganon’s army:
bomb arrows. bomb arrows are your best friend. the second each segment starts, dash as far away from the enemy spawn points as possible and fire off bomb arrows at them. don’t worry about running out your arrows or bombs because they are useless with actual ganon. this is what we brought them for. again, your aim here is to NEVER get hit so you can enter ganon’s battle with full health and all your food. this means staying far back and firing arrows like your life depends on it. ignore the sages, their abilities are useless here.
ganon phase 1:
this is the most straightforward phase i think. guard, dodge, and flurry rush. you should never try to hit him outside of a flurry rush because that gives him easy openings on link & he will often dodge your hits anyway. keep your shield up until he swings, and go for a perfect dodge every time. he has decently wide dodge openings so once you figure out the timing for each attack you should be ok. try to get hit as little as possible. you still want to maximize your food by saving it for the third phase.
ganon phase 2:
same as before, except extra phantom ganons make it extra annoying. they have the potential to fuck up your targeting, so your first priority at all times should be to make sure you’re guarding from the REAL ganon and not one of the others, because he will ALWAYS be targeting you. you can mostly leave the phantoms to the sages. continue dodging and flurry rushing in this stage, but be mindful of phantom ganons because they can mess up your dodges if you run into them or they hit you.
ganon phase 3:
this one is the hardest. use your food liberally now; this is the last time you will need it. do not try to hit him with melee attacks, even flurry rushes. it will not work. don’t go for arrows either (one online strategy guide claims arrows are the way to go in this fight. they are WRONG), it usually just gives him an opening to hit you back, and his attacks in this phase are capable of permanently DESTROYING your hearts, meaning even sundelion food wont get them back. your objectives here are 1. DO NOT GET HIT and 2. hit his own attacks back at him. when he goes for melee attacks, dodge or guard and then jump back as far away as possible. the further you are from him the more likely he is to go for ranged attacks, which is what you want. when he fires off balls of scary pink fire at you, hit them back at him with the master sword. they will do comically little damage and you will initially be frustrated. this is a waiting game. as long as you can wear him down with his own attacks while avoiding getting hit by him, this part of the battle is decently easy to win, it just takes a LOT of patience and dodging.
ganon stage 4:
this one is easy. if you’ve gotten here, you’ve basically already won the game. good luck!
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For Shades of Magic, what do you think of all the various villains/antagonists? Obviously, the Dane Twins and Osaron, but I'm also interested in your thoughts on George IV, Maxim and Emira, Berras, Ezril, and anyone else you consider to be in that category.
I will also make some theories about Threads so there will be spoilers!
Well, if we have to talk about who was better as a villain, it's a match between Osaron and the Dane twins. I would call this first group "the villains that were so hard to beat and we're not sure are really dead".
Osaron was the typical evil that was around you but you couldn't see and it was difficult to destroy - in fact we see how that went. It needed to be contained but it wasn't truly destroyed.
The Dane twins also scared the shit out of me because they weren't just cruel, they were plain crazy and unpredictable. It would be interesting if they were to come back, because sometimes I'm not sure they really left. What if they went to Black London? What if, when someone dies because of Antari magic, they are sent there? Because killing them looked so easy.
I'm still convinced that Kosika might've brought something to White London and it might be a mix of evil forces who have taken the shape of Holland. Perhaps they never even left White London.
Then there's a second group that I would define as "the villains who tried so hard and who are likely going to fail" and I would put Berras and maybe Ezril. Berras never posed a threat until he used the bracelet to steal Lila's power. I never took him too seriously to be honest, because he was covering for Ezril.
Ezril is still a mystery. Since she's a priest, she might have skills we don't know about, like some kind of borrowed magic too. I think she will lay low because she needs Rhy and the others not to suspect her, so she can spy from the inside. We see that Kell doesn't seem to like her, and I hope he keeps an eye on her because it's clear Rhy trusts her too easily. She will also probably use her intel and her being a trusted person in the castle to steal any of Nadiya's trinkets (she probably gave Berras the ring and the bracelet). She might be outed in Threads #2, because I believe there is someone even bigger than her behind the Hand, even though we know her motive for treason is that her family is third in line after Nadiya's family. She would kill two birds with one stone if she got rid of the king and queen, but we all know that Rhy will only die if Kell dies, so... I expect things like a murder attempt at Kell or LIla both.
I am afraid because I also remember about the knife Lila nicks in the tavern that can kill someone using their power against them... even so, do you know what makes me feel like even Ezril will not win? It's because of the bond that now exists between Lila and Kell. I believe that by giving him a thread of her magic, Lila might've bound herself to Kell the same way he bound himself to Rhy. But for them, this may work differently: this connection could amplify their magic unbeknownst to them. The ring/bracelet might've been a foreshadowhing of that.
The last group is about "the ones who I wanted to slap so hard because they watched everyone from their high horse but were scum". I would put king George IV and Maxim and Emira, obviously. George was just plain annoying and I was glad when Kell literally said fuck you and stopped visiting him. I'm curious to know how he's doing, though, because I don't think Lila updates us on the king in Grey London?
I hope they will go again in Threads #2, but so far he isn't a threat even though the fact that the box containing Osaron's power is in Grey makes it possible for the king to attempt to steal the power. We know he went to the Five Points to look for Kell, and he might do it again. I wonder what could happen if such a great power were to be used in Grey London. Would the magic tip from one London to another? Is that the reason why magic in Red London seems to have changed?
Last but not least, Maxim and Emira. I hated them with a passion. They weren't good parents not even to their biological son, but I mostly hated how they treated Kell like an object they owned and not as a human being. They are one of the root causes of Kell's abandonment issues too. The poor guy just wanted to be loved and being treated like an equal, but they only gave him a mere title to make people believe he was part of the family but he was their watchdog, basically. I was so glad when they died, because it served them right.
I think I said enough haha! I might add more in future posts because I plan a Threads reread and there is still a lot to say :) Thanks for the question!
#posta#adsom#tftop#threads of power#threads of power spoilers#kell maresh#osaron#astrid dane#athos dane#lila bard#the fragile threads of power
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right i keep forgetting: speculated another layer in lackadaisy murder mystery
so my premises being:
atlas, mordecai, mitzi being in on atlas's death, which was somehow necessitated &/or inevitable. such that mordecai was the one who shot/killed atlas, which everyone was also in on, so that there'd be maximal control over the situation. mordecai would do it, because it was made part of his job, ordered by atlas. see: mordecai banging on about how he just deals with his approach to Work & Professional Business & The Job, which is obviously already relevant to being the effective professional assassin who everyone keeps going "aren't you here b/c you're having so much fun? why aren't you having fun. what a weirdo" at, but gains even more relevance if he's also a resident of coping city over killing atlas, even at atlas's behest.
mitzi and mordecai now having the best relationship ever where they keep this secret and also never talk to each other after mordecai goes fuck it i quit this specific operation. both of them being aware of the material, transactional aspects of their relationships with atlas, who wanted this wife and this talented hire, but there also being emotional aspects, at least mostly on their ends. suspecting that atlas, as this central, opportunist figure, had feelings as well but was always centrally opportunist regarding his relationships with them, and regarding anything else, and much more detached from them than they were towards him. and they're both probably aware of that, in no small part, And Yet. the emotions still matter hugely or what are we doing here, with characters, in a narrative? these two, who aren't really so dissimilar, being locked into this "ugh. only you understand my experience here" connection lmfao the tragic widow of this mf where the marriage presumably wasn't this epic love story, and yet, and the gayass bodyguard/hitman from out of nowhere whom nobody likes because he's just so particular and uncharming hmm but who is also effectively brought into things on atlas's arm, parallel to mitzi going from showgirl to glamorous wife....competitiveness between them? unbelievable. by which i mean "believable" and through which there can still be this begrudging recognition of the self, or, at least, begrudging recognition of the [atlas's preferred party] status that means being motivated by him says you put up with them, and now, recognition of the shared understanding in this shared secret involvement in atlas's death.
just preemptively i guess like "mordecai said he's trying to find out who killed atlas" he didn't, that's only one way to read between the lines; "he quit lackadaisy to go investigate them regarding atlas's death" he didn't & he does say that there was no overt reason to suspect any involvement Until Now, like a day & a half ago in the timeline lol; "he would not kill atlas b/c he was loyal to him" yeah, unless he Would b/c he was loyal to him, that is, because atlas told him he had to
anyways so i of course have no idea what mitzi specifically could've gotten up to such that she and mordecai think she had a key role in atlas's death, that was her fault, but wasn't her directly killing him or anything. though we do see already how she won't abandon the hope for better via lackadaisy, and won't cut her losses, she can put it back together....but what could she have pursued when atlas was still alive, that confers some blame onto her? idk. but it's not something that mordecai Really harbors this vengeful grudge over, so he knows enough about it And has some kind of understanding about it....and/or just doesn't choose to pursue a grudge over a dead man. whom he shot & killed btw! is my firm theory. even though he didn't want to, of course. but that might help him sympathize with mitzi / her sympathize with him, here lol....part or all of this is understood to be her fault, even if of course she wouldn't have chosen that outcome, while it's also understood that mordecai carried out killing atlas, even if of course he wouldn't have chosen that outcome: maybe enough of a balance there
so my One More Layer to add on, that does feel necessary (b/c mordecai sure IS investigating something very motivatedly rn, & marigold's mysterious goings on do seem to be connected to the murder mystery that'd apparently otherwise been in stasis before that fateful brunch like one day into the timeline) is simply that atlas had more involvement in whatever led to his death than mordecai or mitzi know about. i'm sure it's plausible that in this one last Event, atlas was totally fine leaving them more in the dark about things, if that preserved his ego or was otherwise somehow more Advantageous, perhaps simply convenient, even if it leaves them with less info and more blame. like, it's sure possible there's some kind of Reveal that's all heartwarming like reassurance that aww atlas really cared....i just always presume he's essentially shitty & is this central force of peak Opportunism in the middle of this mystery, fine to benefit from mitzi's and/or mordecai's emotional investment without being beholden to genuine reciprocation on that front
sure wondering who runs marigold, since it's not asa, night manager, little more than a messenger in these matters. sure wondering if this is all about some feds going "and this time we mean it" with investigations like hey hey stop with this economy we don't have formally organized access to, which seems bolstered by the pilot emphasizing that element as a reason to "tie up loose ends," and by mordecai seeming to have found this thread where the comic's tying up of loose ends / sizable thorn in marigold's side subplot (sidenote about his own "thorn" nickname thrust upon him lol....presumably about him being Thorny, but it sure seems like he's now a problem for marigold, with his conflicting motivations stirred up: Now looking into things surrounding atlas's death, beyond who pulled the trigger (since i think that was him) more so, who might know that he did, what does asa/marigold Know just in general about the whole situation)....sure thinking that whoever runs the place is Very secretive about it, like, even if mordecai and/or mitzi know who it is at all, why is communication all so indirect & [as little info as possible] if not to insulate/protect this highest up person? e.g. mordecai's tasked with doing all this dirty work, but if he was the one being interrogated, he couldn't say why, even if he wanted to....and he'd like to know, as being left this in the dark did bother him enough to ask asa about it, even before the fateful brunch.
sure thinking about how if the head of marigold is prioritizing this kind of minimizing of risk, even at expenses like the employee morale of your top [killing you] agents (see also: the savoys not assuming that their working with mordecai Now will go on indefinitely, whether because he breaks with marigold, or they do, they sure don't specify, while they do say that they're both parties who'll turn on partners simply over "business" (though it wasn't Just Business for mordecai re: lackadaisy, as he bristles over)) and how really ultimately Everyone Else is a liability, vulnerability, risk....sure wondering if, say, what asa had to warn atlas about had to do with the head of marigold simply starting to rethink the alliance, now that they'd cleared out all other competition, if they thought they could keep that monopoly without lackadaisy, and perhaps also if they were seeing all of lackadaisy as this possible loose end already, all of lackadaisy's vulnerability potentially transferring over to marigold....so planning to benefit by killing atlas, presuming this would get rid of lackadaisy altogether. just also not planning to be open about it, when instead other ambiguous/unknown rival parties could be presumed the killers, or mitzi, to inherit things. maybe it was such a done deal that atlas simply decided he'd rather at least have more control over it (have his own guy kill him instead) and whether he thought this might be better than, say, retiring, and/or if he thought this afforded lackadaisy the best chance of surviving....difficult to suppose how the Opportunist guy would pursue plans for his own death, kind of the opposite of any opportunity, but maybe if he truly thought it was inevitable, and was wanting to try to ensure this legacy that he thought could preserve some status, preserve some of the resources he'd built up, preserve his ego / sense of success....
the kinda summary here being just that maybe marigold did have this role in atlas's death, as vaguely described above lol, but for some reason atlas told mitzi and mordecai it had more to do with some situation that they now both think gives mitzi more Culpability than she had....like, speaking of "it's possible atlas also has feelings lol / any sentimentality here too" maybe he figured that their really not knowing the full/real story could protect them from marigold? since they're not happy with whatever story they know now, but they're not particularly endangered for it, to the degree that they apparently could've never discussed it with each other again without issue. atlas just Always looking for further opportunity and pursuing it without much discretion sure could get him killed, sure could have him seen as too risky an associate for marigold, instead a liability to be gotten rid of if marigold then thought they wouldn't then be worse off (which, they're now not, the only big game in town). and it's similar to mitzi now having less discretion/restraint in pursuing any opportunity, because of how few options they have, and rocky similarly as well, as this potential atlas esque figure who just has no similar veneer/demeanor/style about anything lol, and of course is also scrounging for resources to hold things together day to day.
just sure is the case that mitzi and mordecai do not seem to have The Full Story, despite that they do seem to be the only ones who know the full story of how atlas died, as a specific, isolated event lol (atlas planning & ordering it, mordecai shoots him (with the gun atlas first gave him on the train!! compare the illustrated dramatic silhouettes!! the dramatic resonance of it all), mitzi knows this, they all know that they all know)....and wondering if atlas didn't somehow Use Them a bit more in the end than they realized, though i also hardly think they Only have the rosiest view of atlas....a capacity here to learn Whatever about his death, and be disappointed, but not surprised. or, as i've talked myself around to thinking about, which is a demonstration of putting thoughts into writing as another layer of thinking through things: maybe it Was atlas sentimental mode after all, realizing how dangerous the head of marigold is about getting rid of these loose ends, making up some alternate story about why his death is inevitable that puts more blame on mitzi (somehow. doesn't seem to have been a Complete fabrication, or how/why would either of them be believing it?) which is unfortunate, as well as the unhelpful rumors about her killing him, but it still protects everyone from Knowing about marigold's involvement, and having suspicion towards this party (the mystery head of marigold) who is now willing to kill him, this powerful, valuable, reliable ally, to get rid of someone who could simply Know Too Much, give too much info away, in the course of having this independent but connected operation. mordecai's already in hot water for having suspected something's up with marigold's prior assumed noninvolvement in atlas's death & it's been like a day (we don't Know this, but he's taking major risks & deviating from what he Should be doing, professionally....and i do think the next thing that was going to happen is the savoys busting in like hey lol what tf's going on here. and i don't think they'd race to Tell On Him (though i do think serafine kills gracie just sight barely seen) and i figure he'd be pushed into committing to more of an alliance with them, since now they all know he's already secretly going afoul of marigold at all, asking these questions & whatall. and i think the savoys would also be interested in the answers. like, why not)
#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#lackadaisy#the joys of mordecai & the savoys out here like yes i hate him yes that's my husband yes i throw him at the ceiling to see him stick there#the joys of mordecai & mitzi....got the same terrible husband & also not but yes & now we've killed him but also not but yes
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You won’t miss anything by not watching the series, it’s absolutely dull. The monster designs are boring (this is the most grievous offense to me, they’re all human-looking but with added body parts, shells/armor, wings etc), the most frequent action our protagonists do is running away, the characters share no similarity to their game counterparts (big oof with Juste), the main boss is especially lackluster compared to Dracula (even Netflix Dracula), the music is lacking and unimaginative, the voice acting combined with the animation/design is awkward, the aristocratic enemies are non-entities (they’re just npc vampires in powdered wigs, heck the Headhunter has more personality and they only have attack voicelines), the plot is Richter, Maria, Annette, and Tera have to defeat the vampire Messiah and their underlings along with a subplot about saving a friend (how is it different and better than the games which “have no story”), their modus operandi for giving the protagonist characters a backstory is to have their loved ones killed (heck even Olrox’s past lover was killed), and France was underutilized.
I noticed in the first three episodes how the series has regressed to NFCV S1 tier of generic monsters, when the rest of the og show actually tried to bring back iconic enemies - I remember smiling when I saw Karasuman! Hell, Abel stole the show in S4E6! What happened here?
no really. what happened here.
I'm already seeing takes that always bringing Dracula back is boring and we need variety (which is the literal same argument moved against Eggman. I hate it here). And look, not only Castlevania, original name "Dracula's Demon Castle" is all about Dracula and his castle... but are the replacements worth it? The games gave us the likes of a corrupted Richter lamenting the fate of his clan, Walter the entertainingly sadistic lord serving all sorts of cunt, Isaac the cruel, insane, cunning yet tragic and loyal servant, Brauner who stole two girls and turned them into vampires out of grief, Barlowe the eerily realistic abusive cultist... only the Sorrow games are lacking in this department IMO. What did the show replace Dracula with, after swearing up and down that he's nothing but a dysfunctional dumbass? A girlboss? A cute rapist? An edgy redditor? Now a thundercat with her BDSM simp that wants to be Isaac so badly but doesn't have what made him charming? Wow, it was worth shitting on Dracula for three seasons straight and then basically saying "yeah he's not evil anymore" :V
I also noticed how both animation and voice acting took a nosedive. The fight betwen Richter and BDSM mommy is 10 fps, and Sun Thundercat sounds like she recorded herself on a shitty flip phone. c'mon bruh those were like, the two things I could easily praise about the og show. what are you doing.
I also also noticed how everyone has a dead mom, or alternatively a dead sister, and now we have a dead lover because Olrox has to be a poor little meow meow too on top of the tiddies. Oh, but the Games Are Stupid because they keep fridging wives, right? We Are So Much Better Than The Stupid Games :) fuck you.
Yeah I am so uninterested. I don't even want to hatewatch this. I don't care. It's just a shitty French Revolution story told from an American perspective, plus the most condescending of crumbs for the game fans. No, I don't care that you brought Juste back and you gave him afterimages, if you then say that Maxim died like a dumbass and that turned Juste into yet another cynical old man. Bleh.
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Crown
Day 20 of the 30-day short story challenge
Today's prompt was crown and for that, I rescued my fic "A Deal with Hades" and added a little extra. Fandom: The Almighty Johnsons. Pairing: Anders Johnson x Fem!Hades. Words: 912. CW: natural death/afterlife
Here it goes:
Deep inside Anders would've liked there was rain. Something to accompany his own gloomy mood.
The graveyard was quiet and sunny. Anders hated it.
He tore his eyes from the closed coffin and glanced at the crowd. That was quite a gathering. In the end, his younger brother lived a long, fulfilling life next to Gaia and was always accompanied by his best friend Zeb. Anders was certain there had always been some sarcastic joke around Axl's titanic height compared with his three brothers, but at that moment he was unable to catch it.
Axl's large frame was resting inside the coffin. His children and grandchildren were there to say his last goodbyes. Gaia cried silently in Zeb's embrace. Friends and colleagues also came to pay their respects. As well as Mike's and Ty's children and grandchildren. Odin gracious, Ty and Dawn brought into this world no less than six children!!
Ander's eyes abandoned the wrinkled faces of those adults who were once small helpless babies crying in his arms and diverted his attention to the gravestones next to Axl's. Olaf, Mike, and Ty were already three feet under. Hanna and Dawn as well. Time had passed way too violently for his taste.
A warm soft hand slipped under his and the intrusion was welcomed. He had always felt calm and loved with Aïdi's attentions.
Due to his new status as the god of Persuasion, guaranteed by Hades after their deal, Anders was immortal, and as such he'd been fake-aging next to his wife not wanting to awaken suspicions over their nature. Anders had awaited for the precise moment to leave the mortal realm and move to the Netherworld with Aïdi… with Hades.
Now was the time.
No matter how much he loved his brothers' children and grandchildren, they were not his brothers. Only in his hands was the possibility of spending time with them now that they had passed away, and he was not going to accomplish it on Earth.
"I'm ready." Hades kissed him on the shoulder to his statement.
The first thing Anders did after seeing Hades' palace for the first time was to steady himself seeing as his knees became weak. The palace was stunning and luxurious, filled with the blue aura provided by the fire of life. Aïdi was in full Hades mode, and that turned him on to no end. As a god, she was taller than as a human, her skin was bluish and her hair floated over her head in blue flames. Those intense white eyes were Anders' perdition.
Evidently, they Christianized the palace in a sexy way; although Anders found it difficult to voice that term out loud. He would never forget that he was married to a fucking god whose job was to care for the dead and the Netherworld.
Time there passed differently than on Earth and before he knew it, Hades informed him that Gaia and Zeb had also passed away. Suddenly it was time to do the coronation ceremony. He'd married Hades in the mortal realm on mortal terms, but also signed one of Hades' famous contracts that trespassed spheres. The only detail to tie it down was his position in the netherworld.
The likeness in terms of title between both planes was uncanny. Hades was king, lord, and maximized authority in the Netherworld. Nowadays not even Zeus can depose Hades from her realm. One might think that terms such as king, lord, or god are male ones for someone using feminine pronouns, but let us remember that Hades existed before humanity, before language itself. Hence the improbability of finding a proper term to name someone like her. Thus, as Hades was king, Anders was bound to be the king's consort.
Such a ceremony had never been performed in the netherworld, but it was huge for being labeled as an intimate one. None of Hades' family crawled down from Mount Olympus to take a peak of the human she had transformed into a god. Anubis did come, however, and it was the first time Anders' had felt true honest fear. That jackal head!!! Those fangs!!!
On the other hand, Anders' granddad and brothers were there hand in hand with their wives (plus Zeb). It had been the first time they had traveled from the Kiwi death realm to this one and they did it with the same appearance as when they were still gods. Axl, who had suffered from chronic pain in his last years, was the one enjoying the arrangement the most.
The ceremony went smoothly and by the end of it, he was dressed in a tailored black suit with a navy blue tie, a blue-flame lapel pin, and a silver crown. It wasn't as gorgeous as Hades' but it was still encouraging.
Hades had always been fond of guests and so she prolonged the Johnsons' stay in her palace for Anders' peace of mind.
Ty mocked him about his crown. Dawn wanted to try it out whilst Anubis' cats surrounded her mewing for pets. Mike looked at him proud-like, which was unnerving. Olaf never gave up his mystic quotes and high poetry as he intended to give Anders some advice. Axl just hugged him multiple times as if wanting to remind Anders that he was loved and missed.
The crown was supposed to be heavy with the weight of responsibility, yet it felt light as if he could finally breathe and be himself for all eternity.
The end.
#fanfic#fanfiction#dean o'gorman#anders johnson#the almighty johnsons fanfiction#fem hades#hades#30 days short stories#30 days#crown#short stories#writing challenge#writing prompt
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youtube
I don't know if anyone brought this video here. So I'll bring this immortal masterpiece. This is Big Iron, but it's russian obscene folk song about Grandfather Maxim.
Lyrics translated:
So grandfather Maxim died,
And the dick stayed with him.
They put him in a coffin -
The dick hit the coffin lid.
He was a big guy
He was spitting shish kebab on his dick,
He dug the garden beds with his dick,
and watered the beds with his dick.
And he fucked his neighbor Auntie Zina
through the basket,
And he threw his neighbor Uncle Grisha over the roof with his dick.
And during the civil war
He saved the whole division:
The Germans surrounded our soldiers and slaughtered them.
And grandfather unbuttoned his fly
And he stretched his dick over the river.
Our soldiers carried the wounded across his dick.
The Germans started stepping on his dick.
Grandfather shook his dickhead -
He plunged the Germans into the river.
He hit those who swam on the water with his dickhead,
After the battle the general kissed his dickhead.
The train is traveling to Navoi,
And there are only dicks sitting in it.
Shut up, whores, I'm a saint
I'm a saint!
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Rushsly: Into the Depths 1
Sorry for no updates yesterday; I spent the entire day making food, watching longform YouTube videos, and working on some other artistic outlets. In the interest of maintaining my anonymity until at least the end of this project and possibly indefinitely after that, I won't be sharing them (well, I can't send home-cooked food over the internet anyway - yet! Get on that shit, techbros!) but you'll be relieved to know they turned out well. I'm only just now sitting down at the computer this evening after a day that mostly tanked due to me starting to feel under the weather, but I think I know the cure - and obviously, it's the single greatest simulation game of all time, Dwarf Fortress.
There's no better way to start off a session than crashing the game, so I decide to make a nice and agonizingly slow "quick"save and throw Rushsly into Stonesense, the isometric-3D fortress visualizer which is notoriously stable when used with the Steam release and mods. Well actually it was working fine before I tried to maximize the window, then it crashed. I could find some way to blame the program for that, but I've been reading "The Inner Game of Tennis" lately, and though I'm not very far into it, I get the gist that I probably shouldn't, but also I shouldn't blame myself either? When I say not very far, I mean literally 4 or 5 pages. Are you even allowed to say you're "reading" a book when you've barely made it past the foreword and preface? Fine. I'm browsing The Inner Game of Tennis, and I'll consider myself reading it in 20 or 30 pages. Anyway, the fort looks pretty unassuming from the top, besides that "chimney" which is not actually there, but I can't get anyone up there to destroy the "downward staircase" tile without creating another "downward staircase" tile, which I'd need to get someone up there to destroy on and on over and over forever for the rest of my life. It doesn't have an "upward staircase" tile below it so it's purely a cosmetic blemish. Clear glass tiles also look very funny in Stonesense.
The furnace floor, where I already had to alter the stockpile by a single tile so I could put down a floor tile to stop the growth of a young tower-cap. I fucking hate floor fungus!!
The catacombs really do look a bit shit from this angle sorry kobbles. The little magma pockets do look cool though.
The (secondary now, I guess?) production floor is such a fucking mess and I hate it but I'm never going to do anything about it.
The tavern and chief's chambers look pretty cool though! I like that the dogs get sprites but my kobbles are just the letter "k." I feel bad for the people in the bedroom below who have a clear glass ceiling. Imagine trying to sleep and a bunch of motherfuckers are dancing above you and you can not only hear but see it the whole time. What a life!
And the only other floor of any visual interest is the barracks+hospital+dungeon floor. I like that stonesense makes the wells into faucets. Kobbles got plumbing lol
It always hurts to give a miner a different job, since I like it when the mining gets done fast, but since he wasn't particularly great at it anyway: Zhag, the miner who did not give a single shit about breaching the caverns, has been transferred to the military right around the time that a couple years of constant training starts really paying off for On Speechlessmonstrous and Zomrca Lulledjackals. In fact, it's sparring with one another that brought on this "level-up."
Two girls, both keenly aware of their bodies and the way they move, pushing each other to greater and greater heights of martial prowess. I don't care who you are, that's yuri. And also they're drunk. But kobbles, like dwarves, are basically always drunk. There was a time when I'd be like "Same! That's so me, lol!!" but it's long been over. I don't actually miss alcohol, I just miss the way alcohol used to feel, the effect it used to have on me. For the last little while, whenever I finally gave in to the temptation to knock some shots back every 2 or 3 weeks I would just suddenly jump-cut straight to the next day, waking up with literally all my clothes on including my goddamn socks like a fucking bastard feeling absolutely miserable in every physical sense and terrified that I had fucking humiliated myself and made lifelong enemies in the 25 Discord conversations I didn't remember starting. Now if I try to drink at all my body just says "no, fuck you. Go to bed" and all I can bring myself to do is lay down and get five to seven hours of miserably low-quality sleep - while still lucid enough to take my socks off, thank fucking god. I can't complain, really. The time from my early 20s when drinking made everything beautiful and everyone into my friend has long been over. If I never wake up in a stranger's bed or literally drooping halfway off the couch of their back porch again it'll still be too soon. But it's fine for kobbles to drink I guess. They were literally programmed to do it
At only 136 steel bars, it feels a bit too early to be getting the kobbles into steel armor, but new weapons and shields should do them well - provided they're not all too attached to their current gear. The dream is, eventually, adamantine, but to tell the truth I've never actually gotten that far in a fort. They either died in a horrible violent tragedy or from the miserable slowness of FPS death far before we could chance upon any Hidden Fun Stuff. To be completely honest, despite making a few attempts as early as early as 2009, even installing it on the computers at my high school and getting away with playing it all through study hall because nothing that looks like that could possibly actually be a game, I really never figured the game out or had any real success. I just didn't have the patience to either learn to read the ASCII or manually check every tile every time I wanted to know what anything was. This was back when carp were serious threats and rhesus macaque invasions were commonplace - the Brazil era, as I've literally just now decided to dub it - but half the things I take for granted really weren't even in the game yet. Also, on those same high school computers I managed to install Cave Story, and I got all the way to Hell before getting hopelessly stuck, which is what happens to me basically every time I play Cave Story, though I did manage to beat Hell & Ballos just once as a kid. I like to joke that my soul is stuck in Cave Story Hell forever until I finally beat it one more time, but sometimes I get scared it's not a joke. One time my friends came over while they were tripping on acid, and I was stoned and playing PaRappa the Rapper, and they were watching with so much delight but then I got to the bathroom level and just couldn't fucking do it, failing attempt after attempt, and one of those same friends professed to me years later that he feels like part of his soul is still trapped in the PaRappa the Rapper bathroom level, instead of experiencing the catharsis of the big concert finale level. The other friend from that time is no longer my friend because he burned down his fucking house with a turtle and several dogs and cats inside. All the dogs and most of the cats escaped but the turtle did not and since then he has been in permanent rehab because every time he almost finishes up at a halfway house he decides "you know what, I should take mushrooms right now. I should get so high on cough medicine that I can't even pretend to function for 5 minutes. While I'm in this fucking halfway house that I could be free from if I just waited one or two more weeks to take these mushrooms or cough medicine." I mean I can't really begrudge him the drugs but, well, actually I think I can. I can begrudge anyone for anything if I want. He also had a pad on the floor where his dogs could shit instead of just taking them out, I mean that's not just on him that's on his whole family being fucked up. Basically just fuck that guy
We'll be breaching the first cavern layer in earnest soon. I'm not quite sure what I actually want to do down there - fungiwood and tower-cap don't actually interest me, considering how much wood we have on the surface, and farming has been going so well that we don't really need anything edible from down here, either. Maybe I just want to stir the pot. Maybe I just want conflict. You know there's a reason why people who play this game say "losing is fun" and it's beca
Oh Fuck Oh Shit No No No Oh Shit Get The Fuck Out Of There Everybody Get The Fuck Inside Right Now Oh Fuck Oh Fuck Oh Fuck Oh My God Please No ... errr .......
Everyone has more than enough time to get inside safely, because... it's a fucking giant tortoise. In the time it takes for everyone who was topside to get safely into the base, the weretortoise has... not moved a single tile.
The moat bridge is retracted, marksmen are poised and (hopefully) ready to fire, but uhh... I don't want to say I overreacted, but I may in fact have overreacted.
Its kill record is not impressive, either. I'm more impressed by the names of some of these places it's been. "Grayhatchet" is actually pretty cool. "Questsloshed" that one sounds kind of horny... "Womansoak" That's what they call me when I walk up in the fucking club LOL !!!!!!!! Sorry. I'm going to be normal again.
The were-tortoise reverts back to a lobster (yes I have the mod that adds crustacean civilizations installed on this world) and skitters away off the map and far from my mind. Honestly, he might be more intimidating in this form. However strong the were-tortoise form might be, it's not exactly effective. Another thing I learned is that the statue "radar" does not actually tell you where or which statue was toppled, it literally just says that one was. If I wanted to put in a bunch of effort, I could set up a system where I have statues of one material put on the west, another material on the east, other materials north and south, maybe even go 8-directional with it, but I kind of don't care. The reason that people who play a lot of Dwarf Fortress say that "losing is fun" has two reasons. First of all, there is no real "winning" in Dwarf Fortress - you can become the new Mountainhome of your civilization, sure, but that's more of "the best game state you can attain" than a victory. It ultimately just comes with more challenges: an entourage of picky, problem-causing nobles and a king/queen/gender-unspecific-position-of-royalty/whatever else show up to make demands, and it's not like you export a certain amount of wealth and roll the credits or something. The second is that, since you cannot win, getting your fortress to be perfect, infallible, and autonomous only actually serves to make the game boring. Losing is not just a learning experience as far as the actual mechanical game goes, but an exciting event that changes the story and landscape of your world. After this fort inevitably goes down in flames I am going to keep playing in this world and Rushsly will be not just a memory in my mind but something that existed and changed the culture and history of The Land of Nails, the biggest continent in The Dimensions of Portent. (Kind of a lame name though. Why don't you portend to go fuck yourself, lol. Not you the reader, just a general unspecified "you".)
There's motherfucking gold in them there hills, tons of gems too. I'm prone to ignore stuff like silver and cassiterite because it's not that valuable and more important not that interesting to me, but I can absolutely be tempted by the glint of gold, and much like Sonic Adventure 2's breakout MILF Rouge the Bat I always love a good gem. If you don't think she's a milf you're looking at the wrong pictures - the wiki is wrong, the writers and designers of the games are wrong, she is a 43 yr old cougar. And me well I just want to be the pudgy twink 10+ years younger than her that she is just ever so slightly emotionally abusive towards, not in the traumatizing way just the sexy way. Like "the hurting your feelings but then you also get aroused from it and afterwards she's like yeah you know i didn't actually mean it" way.
Fucking kitchen full of fucking miasma
Just USE THE BARRELS YOU FUCKING BASTARDS
Like why do they do this
With nothing but perfect timing, a metalcrafter falls into a strange mood that makes him cry out for:
-metal bars (He's already taken a platinum one)
-logs (We have plenty all over the fucking place but he won't grab any)
-silk cloth (We have 100s of these too, he won't take any)
-bones (which means we have to slaughter an animal in the same disgusting butcher room with the miasma and all the meat already just sitting on the floor.)
Zylr has made an enemy out of me but I am honor-bound to help his bitch ass create a masterpiece so fuck it.
He takes the bones and... just keeps bitching. I don't know. Does he just want more bones? Because I'm not going to be heartbroken over killing another horse. Fuck it. I'll gladly kill another horse. I hate horses and want them to not exist.
And yes, he did literally just want more bones.
And downstairs, they finally started putting things in barrels. Not before letting our food & meat stocks drop by literally hundreds of items, but I guess a win is a win. kind of. Not really a complete win yet either there's still very much some shit on the floor. Fuck it I'll just make them throw it out too. What were you really going to do with horse nervous tissue, like be honest. As usual I had to run cleanowned in dfhack like 5 times to make the kobbles actually start taking out the garbage but they did it. (I know the military backpack glitch but I don't understand how meals got claimed as owned without even making it out of the kitchen (I don't feel like explaining the military backpack glitch right now but I can later if someone asks me to (We're kind of losing the fucking plot here though (and suddenly I care about that))))
Zylr had the good sense to offer this to me instead of keeping it as a personal treasure, and I mean, 20k value ain't bad. Most interestingly is the chain either has an image of itself on it, or is making a reference to another platinum chain that exists somewhere. It would be really funny to just put it in the dungeon and tie criminals to it, but it feels weirdly appropriate to put it in one of the churches, so I'm going to do that instead.
AMBUSH TIME!!!!
The fucking pricks are going after our bird towers. It's so personal now.
Their necromancer doesn't even make it past the first row of traps.
A boar that their necromancer resurrected literally kicks one of them to death. I don't think these guys are very good at this.
With their... leader(??) and three of their most fearless caged, and one of their least lucky shredded into fucking bits, the stragglers just awkwardly wander off the map to go hide. They didn't even make it past the third row of traps on the very first level.
They also did not even make a dent in our bird numbers, despite them being the only targets they were able to even take shots at. Though this does serve to prove we need to reinforce the Bird Towers to prevent unnecessary loss of bird life, that's literally all it proved. They will one day be back with more, they may come back with the idea of maybe not walking straight into the trap hallway, but for now they are idiots who barely managed to kill a single goose.
Unfortunately, speaking of idiots, our marksbold squad was deployed up to the fortifications above the trade depot, and despite getting a clear shot on one of them, fucking did nothing because the ones with bows keep picking up bolts and the ones with crossbows keep picking up arrows. Since different types of ammo is a mod thing, there's no actual option to force them to use one or the other, I guess our best bet is to just dispose of all the bows and arrows and force everyone to use only crossbows. I don't feel like doing that right now though and I've also hit the 30 image limit again so you'll just have to find out whether that even works or not on the next exciting episode of Rushsly. I probably should have ended it on a cliffhanger but I think it's funnier if the thing you have to look forward to is just me cleaning out some traps, figuring out to do with some prisoners, and trying to fix a military logistics problem. This ain't that new-fangled Witch from Saturn Ion gundam show this is the classic 1979 gundam. WHO WILL SURVIVE?
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man idk why my roommate telling me to take up less space is getting to me so much. like it feels like a bomb has been set off in my chest and im just running on trauma response. I mean I guess I did get threatened with physical violence last month from a previous roommate who seemingly hated me for reasons I could not understand and now this other roommate that has beef with me is using some of the same rhetoric that this previous roommate was.
he's decided to go on a crusade against the fact that I have extra furniture that I brought in, before he was in this colocation, to store my things, as agreed upon with the roommates that were there at the time bcs the existing space we had wasn't enough- and I needed my things physically accessible to me. But anything he says, he says it as if he's speaking for the entire colocation. Which he isn't. The rest of the roommates share that they don't share his beliefs behind closed doors to me privately, but won't actually stand up for me when he's saying shit in the group chat or in-person.
And it's scary because explaining my disability to him isn't going to change anything, he wants more space, he wants my space, and nothing I can say to him will make him change his mind. He's set himself up as defender of everyone else in the coloc and characterized me as this selfish asshole who's unwilling to listen to reason. And actually, I can't understand his reasoning or his logic firstly, because he's being confrontational so my brain is shutting down while he continues speaking and while I try to decipher what he's trying to say and secondly, because what he's saying doesn't make sense to me and no one else agrees with him! Because what he's saying, isn't actually what he means. He's saying "we should all have equal space" and what he means is "I need more space for my things". And I'm scared of trying new things- I'm scared of being IMPOSED new things!! That also requires that I have to rethink how I can reorganize things in a way that would be accessible to me.
Idk if it's a fear that everyone would have, of being told you're taking up too much space and have to find a way to reorganize your things? but being disabled makes things so hard. eating is so hard. buying food and cooking is so hard. doing my dishes means I have to go lay down for 30 minutes afterwards bcs the pain is so bad. The idea of making things less accessible to me is terrifying, because I then won't have energy for the other, much more important things I need to do anyways. I have to save up my spoons and so I've set my food up in a way that maximizes spoon retention. Since he isn't disabled, he doesn't know what I go through on the daily, so his suggestions aren't adapted to my needs. And he doesn't understand that I'm not going to make my life harder just because he isn't willing to find another solution to fit his fucking pans into the common space.
He keeps going on about having "equal spaces" but the cabinet spaces in the kitchen AREN'T EQUAL. making it literally impossible for us to be sharing equal spaces. And in any case, it's just a pretense for his own needs- that he wants more space. And I don't fucking get it, there is space in the kitchen that he can use and that IS accessible to him?? I've PROPOSED solutions to him that he just keeps turning down without having any actual justification for!
#personal#me#disability#like im back to being scared and feeling threatened and being afraid of physical violence#and of course to someone without ptsd this seems absurd. when i tell him i am scared. he doesnt believe me.#he probably thinks im trying to play the victim when im genuinely scared of leaving my room right now
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for the ask thing
rhea
favorite thing about them
oh god. where do i start. she's so fucked up and she's so hot. she's an absolute mess on every level. my daughter who has every disease. my poor little meow meow. she did everything wrong and i love her for it. she's so bad and it makes me want to clap my hands and rub them together with glee. all of the rest of my answers to this meme are my favorite thing about her
least favorite thing about them
the fandom
aside from that, her lack of relevance in azure moon sucks. i'm glad that at least she got more focus in azure gleam, as much of a cursed route as that was, if only because it just makes it so obvious how incredibly and delightfully toxic rhea has been for fodlan and its people
favorite line
every line rhea gets is just fucking. so good. cherami leigh is perfectly cast in the english dub. her lines are dripping with menace when they need to be, unsettling when they need to be, and vulnerable exactly when they need to be. every fucking line she gets in cf is just so, so good and the voice acting brings it all to life perfectly.
rhea's lines when byleth chooses to protect edelgard in the holy tomb are my favorite. especially the sheer contempt you can hear in "you are just another failure"
chills every time. the truth comes out there. exactly how she sees byleth and exactly how she sees humanity as a whole
brOTP
one of the fascinating things about rhea is that nobody is on an equal footing to her. not seteth or flayn, her fellow nabateans, whom she never answers to for any of the decisions she makes, despite seteth being nominally her advisor. not catherine or jeralt, who were brought under her wing in exchange for their servitude as knights, one of whom was successfully groomed by her and one of whom wasn't and got out while he still had a chance.
honestly cyril is the only human character in the game that rhea doesn't appear to have a purely transactional relationship with, and... he's a child. a child who cleans her room and does chores for her. okay that's pretty transactional now that i think about it.
so, given that rhea doesn't have anyone she can be bros with, my brotp for rhea is...
rhea/catherine. you get the more wholesome ending of a deposed rhea retreating from the world and catherine looking after her, which is quite bittersweet. but you can also be delightfully fucked up with it. imagine if cf ended with the black eagle strike force being routed in fhirdiad and fresh off a decisive church victory over the empire catherine had to live with the thousands of civilians she'd murdered on rhea's orders, with nowhere to go but deeper into rhea's arms. hhhhhhhhhh
OTP
i don't think rhea is capable of having a healthy romantic or sexual relationship with any other playable character in the game (she might have had one with wilhelm, but that was 1000 years ago), but a relationship doesn't have to be healthy to be incredibly fascinating and compelling. that is why my rhea otp is rhea and cf!dimitri. the feedback loop of bloodthirsty revenge they would enforce for each other would be fun to watch... from several miles away.
nOTP
rhea/byleth. like... rhea outright doesn't see byleth as a person (in stark contrast to the other humans in her life, who she at least understands are people and not merely vessels) until the end of ss/vw and tried to erase their entire identity without their foreknowledge or consent. that's not something i can ship. i can fantasize about how fucked up it is i guess but as a ship? nah
also rhea/edelgard is one of those ships which i like mainly for horny reasons but under certain circumstances it goes instantly to squick. and it's a fine line but a line nonetheless.
random headcanon
this isn't so much of a headcanon as it is an interpretation of sothis' characterization through her behavior in 3 hopes, but i believe that sothis felt no affection for the nabateans she created; they were just tools to her, and she cared about them as much as a paperclip maximizer cares about the paperclips it makes. and that makes it extra tragic for rhea, who wastes her entire life after slaying nemesis trying to recapture a maternal love that only really existed in her own head.
gives me real nier automata vibes. isn't that hilarious? doesn't it make you laugh?
unpopular opinion
rhea is the villain everyone accuses edelgard of being. she's a sympathetic and fascinating character, but at the end of the day she's an alien colonizer who spent 1000 years fucking up an entire continent. and she didn't have to be any of those things. you know it. i know it. she knows it
song i associate with them
youtube
See these eyes so green
I can stare for a thousand years
Colder than the moon
It's been so long
Feel my blood enraged
It's just the fear of losing you
Don't you know my name?
You've been so long
And I've been putting out the fire with gasoline
favorite picture of them
SageOfAnys
frogbians
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