#which is gonna be my text post tag I think
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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Saw a meme post and started doodling and somehow spawned this???????
#this definitely isnt thematically consistent with ANYTHING#i really just started drawing ig#if the dress seems weird its bc that was the post i saw. dont think it fits the vibe or the character really but its rlly there as a remnant#of the original idea. which was just drawing that dress. which turned into hal bc the black said spectre to me apparently? although the cut#isnt consistent w anything theyd wear in my mind#idk who knows. its late im bored and i just started adding things too it until i was like damn. should probably post this bc ppl may get a#kick out of it. even if there are a few things im :/ abt. namely the dress bc again that was a remnant from a diff idea#and i dont think the text fits the vibe of stuff at all (although i wouldnt fully know) i was just messing around there#bc it was parallax and then in turned more spectre and just yeah. kind of eh but ill put it here in case ppl vibe w it#blah#swishy art tag#not gonna put this in any main tags bc again the style + thematic messiness
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Strange question, but would you alright with responding to this with your separated username? Im dyslexic and have a very hard understanding what it says ^^"
Sure no problem!!! :D I’m kinda dyslexic too so I understand, I’m gonna put it in bold too cause that helps me sometimes if that’s alright d(^^ ).
Chibi Short Death
#text post#ask post#anon ask#hehehe I’m gonna explain my username in the tags#the chibi part comes from an older username I used to use for things#but it also comes from a silly chibi version of Bowser I used to draw when I was little#I made like a comic about it when I was in 5th grade it’s so cringe looking back at it but like in a positive way lol#the short part is there cause I am short XD#also short death used to be a nickname of mine#but I kinda don’t claim that part of it anymore cause the guy who gave it to me was a dick#I guess the chibi part also relates to me being small too lol#the death part also comes from two characters!#death from magical drop iii#and death from Castlevania :)#chibi death was also a former internet persona that was just me as a reaper#I have not used it in forever tbh#I’m thinking of making a different persona or something someday#idk it’s kinda just some words that have been related to me over the years thrown together that I got attached too X3#I now get called chibi online tho which is cool I guess#I’m surprised no one had the username before me on all the platforms I’ve been on so far :O
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since tumblr never let me edit html maybe i should make a lil intro post for cori
#bc i have gotten a lot of new followers i think probably from that she loves you more than her own life post#and i need to make sure everyone knows cori is nonbinary agdhjdksk#i need a text post tag#this was actually secretly a way for me to complain about work in the tags#which is that i made a plan to catch up and have been STICKING to it but my boss randomly decided just now#the whole department has mandatory training on monday after a meeting he also decided was mandatory for me#(they never have me in meetings so it was a surprise)#so that’s the middle four hours of my day gone which is unfortunate and making me feel like i’m never gonna catch up#well at least when i get home there’s shb hours ahead of me 😌
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hi! I was scrolling down your DC tag and found this post (www(.)tumblr(.)com/cleromancy/735420182202368001/fucking-no?source=share) -I hope the link doesn't vanish but just in case it's one where you talk about approaches to writing DC and you cite waid, grayson and morrison. I know a bit more about morrison's, but (if you don't mind), would you care to elaborate on each style?
speaking very very broadly here, and therefore making generalizations that won't apply to every single thing each writer has ever written, but rather their general reputation or what i personally have found reading their work
waid is famously well-read and generally tries to reconcile as much canon as he can while still 1) telling the story he wants to tell and 2) fitting with modern style/genre/etc conventions. if he does make a departure you generally assume he knew he was doing it and did it on purpose while still mostly adhering to that former goal. im thinking of the donna/garth situationship in worlds finest teen titans here, which to me read like he was like "wait, why *wouldnt* they have ever had a thing, they have so much in common" and an exploration of that, and it does actually mesh with stuff that came before imo. but i picked waid as an example of someone who is extremely well read and puts a lot of effort into yes and-ing what came before. but at the same time he Builds a lot off of it, he's not just parroting.
devins approach to my reading is more like... she's character driven in a way where like. 1) she probably has a solid understanding of the history of her mains and has probably read at least the recent stuff but definitely hasnt sat down and read their Whole History, and 2) if her character concept differs from what came before she's comfortable stepping away from it. so by contrast to waid as an example, you generally won't see her playing with minor elements from teen titans 1966 or new teen titans, or if you do it's a surprise and she might have just taken a concept and turned it on its head, if that makes sense. shes more likely to bring in her own stuff. but at the same time you usually don't expect anything of hers to be a sharp departure from anything recent or any of her contemporaries. devin is someone who can read catwoman comics and then be like "i actually think catwoman should be more like xyz, because when i boil her down to what i see as her essential/core elements, this is what feels honest and compelling to me," and then that's how she'll write her.
morrison is pretty infamous for their "everything is canon" approach by which i mean. they may not have read anything recent scrimblo scringus was in, but they *did* read the elseworlds comic from 1989 where they originated that bears little to no resemblance to their current iteration, and they think it would be fun to randomly bring in some shit from that story into scrimblo's mainline continuity. so you get things like new earth jason being a redhead but also entirely unlike either pre-crisis jason or post-crisis jason in any discernable way, or they'll import batcow from tiny titans to the main continuity. because actually why Shouldn't we have batcow too. so morrisons something of a wildcard in terms of both what they might have read and in what they'll use and what they'll ignore, its a total free for all. every comic ever written is their playground, pretty much.
hopefully that makes sense lol. and i am oversimplifying a lot but that was my logic in name-dropping those three
#for the record im only on First Name Terms with devin bc when i just say/read 'grayson' i always get whiplash thinking it meansthe character#and i have to assume shes comfortable being firstnamed like that since she didn't choose a penname yk#anyway.#text#ask#dc#also i dont think any of these approaches is inherently better or more worthwhile BUT LMAP#lmao* ... obviously i have some beef with morrison... im not gonna pretend I don't... but like#its bc i didnt like what they did with their approach not bc i think the approach is inherently Bad#editing my tags again to add on some more devin thoughts which are#she has an awareness that she's writing Icons and not just like#characters From Comics do you know what i mean.#like this isnt just a woman named selina who is a jewel thief devins inhetiting from the last writer this is Freakin Catwoman#and i think that's integral to her approach to character in a way it isnt for waid or Morrison. its hard for me to put it into words really#but i think thats another factor tbh. how much you incorporate the like#the wider cultural concept of the iconic character compared to focusing more heavily on comics history#morrisons approach also plays with this but in a really uh. different way#...i am going to stop tagging this post now
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Oh my goodness! I wonder what questions we have to ask to see what happened?
//Well if there's something you wanna know about, you gotta ask about it! Whether or not the character answers, or answers in the RIGHT way...well, maybe there's a way to get one character to "loosen their lips", and maybe there's another character who's already willing to answer. Or, perhaps, the other can tell you how to get the first to talk. Who knows?
#using the tags down here as an opportunity to dump my autism#i've got the next interaction posts planned out i just need to make the art for them#but starting said art is easier said than done i'd rather work on another standalone post like the 'it's you!' post#since i dont actually have any asks to work on between interaction posts#i wanna get them out because i wanna continue the story and get to where this next standalone post would be relevant#but then its gonna feel like an obligation like i HAVE to#which I DONT but i feel like i do because i wanna continue the story#if you've read this far#send me an ask answering me this: would yall care if someo of my posts were more rp based?#describing what hte character is doing isntead of drawing it#i do still plan to draw it's just that sometimes i'm working on a 'panel' and it just. isn't hitting right and i don't wanna work on it#so i think maybe making it text based would be easier on me so i can get the posts out and continue th story without having to stress#soryr to autism info dump on your very simple ask i've been thinking baout this stuff NONSTOP#mun speaks#anon ask#anonymous#ask#answer#anon
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i’ve been too unormal lately
#im so tallsettos#crazy times on pluto#i need to stop#somewhere that’s green reprise i will cry#what even is little shop#rehearsals stop please#i’m not even truly off book i just listen to text to speech of my lines while i’m sleeping#it’s working kinda#weirdest thing of tags i’ve posted i think#no one in this science building knows i’m listening to little shop#little shop kills and saves me#both our audreys are gone this whole week#school is not real i swear to god#also heart shaped sunglasses fav always#i don’t know what i’m doing in tags rn#talked to my drama teacher about harmony#which ended up with me finding out he went to highschool with someone who was in smash and hes prolly gonna invest in the new bway producti#i love movies i’m a self proclaimed film bro#i hate rain#is this a brain dump rn
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Turning into the joker because both of my landlords keep threatening to kick me out every single time i have a slight disagreement with them or dont do exactly what they want
#text post tag#both of them keeo independently threatening me with homelessness for the stupidest fucking reasons#its honestly so fucking irritating and annoying and its pissing me off so much#but i cant even have a simple fucking conversation with either of them because they both think that i should just#roll over and do exactly what they say without protest and im fucking sick of it#reek will actively try to puff himself up and act like a big tough alpha male and tells me to get out if im not gonna ''respect'' him#and my sister will threaten to make me homeless just because i dont want to be the only fucking person the house who does dishes#and because she doesnt like that i have trouble keeping up with the dishes of three adults#two of which dont fucking rinse anything and just pile everything into nasty standing water#and shes mad that i have trouble getting down on my knees to clean the cat boxes out - esp since now theres a bunch bc pf the fosters#when i famously have knee problems and cant be on my knees for very long or often without it causing intense physical pain#and she never even fucking helped me clean any of them out even when it *was* just our own cats#not to mention that she keeps getting pissed off at me because i dont like thay she keeps throwing fits and being out of line with how#she reacts to every single fucking thing that stresses her out#like its my fucking fault that shes hitting her dog with a shoe or its my fault that shes screaming at her baby#reek doesnt even fucking do anything around the house when hes home#and hes almost never home#and he thinks he can lecture me about how i dont do anything and they have to do everything for me?#as if he has any right to think he has any authority over me whatsoever or as if he has any fucking right to treat me like a child#i fucking hate the both of them so goddamn much#im just constantly pissed the fuck off but i cant do a damn thing about it because everything i do is bad or wrong to them#to my sister i cant do anything right because the only thing i know how to do is escalate and make things worse#i am so fucking mad
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Very unfortunate that I am a very slow drawer because I am also very impatient. Why must it take 1 million years for my drawings to manifest
#Adding this in retrospect: I'm so sorry. There's so much tags under here. But I think it's interesting stuff so#Doesn't help that rn I'm trying to do a lineup of my 4 main ocs that I hope to make a comic with someday...#I have done a lineup of them in the past (that I haven't shared publicly) as very tiny + basic but bc of that. Not a lot of features.#So I'm trying to do a proper lineup now. This will be my first proper full body drawings of them :3#I will probably show it off when I'm all done because I've been drawing this so far for 8/9 days. And I'm not even half-way done#BUT YEAH. AUGH. I'M DYING OUT HERE.#I'll probably post it on my art blog which is gonna be funny bc I haven't drawn a lot the past 2 years ESPECIALLY last year#BUT in the past year I have still been Trying a lot. And Learning a lot.#And so while I only posted 1 drawing in 2023 on there. 6 months ago. That was a HUGE leap from my previous drawings#Both in regards to skill and developing my style#And I feel like this drawing. From there. Is ANOTHER huge leap in both of those things. And I'm so excited#Iron text
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okay i will actually stop the public breakdown sort of now because it's kind of embarrassing but i do need to point out that my girlfriend sent me a video which i do not find funny and like i'm already splitting right now and i really do not need this energy in my life where are the funny men like what are we doing here
#public meltdowns are good to use in reserves bc people really care initially but after a while it's like#yeah okay here's mare again not handling her emotions which w/e that's my whole fucking thing but like#it is no longer fun so use it well when you have it that's just my advice#anyway. oh i forgot what i was going to say oh fucking whatever#now i'm just cold why is my room fucking freezing this time of year. i'm so fucked in college like actually#i'm genuinely going to snap in half in college it's going to be such a thing . i'm going to actually throw up i think#post canceled i got sad about going to college fucking sue me. okay? i'm going to go fucking crazy#do you know what it's like to watch yourself go crazy do you know what it's like to always be the crazy one#because i'm ALWAYS the crazy one like for years that's why i keep breaking down publicly#cause like everyone knows i'm THAT one you know.#and no i cannot talk about this one on one individually who the fuck do you think i am! who am i putting this on!#my friends are all like you should tell me your emotions No actually bc here's the thing#if people do not want to see me vent here they block tags and they unfollow and they block me#and like it's over. who cares. we're done bitches#but in text like there's no escape honey there is nothing#so like. even if i want that i don't do that i don't fuck with that. what am i even talking about#OH MY GOD THE UNFUNNY VIDEO WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOOO#i'm going to listen to the recs alek just sent me because alek is the best. you all follow him right#i'll just leave her on read who fucking cares#she's not gonna notice
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Man it’s so annoying that I like my job bc the job itself is like fine or whatever but I really do love the people
#not to get on tumblr everyday to post about my job and type out this tag like every day but here we r again#like my friend and I went out for ice cream after work and I drive her home every night and it’s so fun#like I’ll keep in touch with her I’m not worried about falling out of contact with her#but like. she is the only person who I talk to outside of work#and like a lot of my coworkers who I really like r like. definitely in their 60s. I’m not gonna be like omg bestie what’s ur snap?#first of all I don’t use Snapchat second of all I am not that friendly third of all like. what would I even have to say#i am a terrible texter. i have nothing to say ever. I don’t know why but I am just so very boring to text I’ve got nothing to say#but yeah I’m sad that I’m gonna miss these people#my last day is the 19th :(#i am a little curious if they’ll do anything bc they usually host little goodbye parties for people who leave#and I am well liked. I’m gonna be so sad when I leave#I’ll be back every few weeks like hi you missed me a ton right? I’m here for the weekend. yes I do live across the country. don’t even worry#i have 2 favorite people there. ones my friend who I talk to a lot and the other is one of the waitresses but I won’t probably talk to her#which means like I’m gonna definitely miss her a ton and she’s already made a few comments like oh I’m gonna miss you so much when you leave#like man. catch me crying on my last day#god this is why I can’t deal with people being so nice to me bc then I’m gonna miss them!! like come on say one hurtful thing please#well actually no I think I’m sad enough as is but like. some people r just so nice. and it’s like bestie please I’m getting attached#soup talks
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Acting all wise and spewing random words, I see 💀
i'd show you photos of my bachelor's degree AND my master's degree, but i like maintaining the illusion that i'm a talking eel
#literally what was the point of sending this lmao#you're the one reading through literally thousands of words at this point of someone else's opinions#if you don't like it just leave none of the other ppl who unfollowed me the last few days bothered with doing this#are you offended that i don't like your faves???#that i have critical measured opinions based on my own observations and experience working in similar industries???#awwwwwwwww poor little baby what is it like with such low critical thinking skills#text#answers#also none of my posts recent posts are tagged so idk how you found me other than you were following me already. in which case:#this is doubly your own fault! suck it up princess!#gonna keep writing my own opinions on my own blog now byeee 👋👋👋
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yall i've been awake for 25+ hours lets see if i can do some account stuff before i succumb to feral
will edit post if i succeed
edit: I've done the bare minimum!
Hello!
After much deliberation i've come to realize i associate myself with the name meavitamin so much that my attempts to go under a different handle just couldn't click! so here i am editing my accounts under the haze of an unintentional all-nighter (but with much thought beforehand) with a very simple run down.
@meavitamin is now my official art account! finished works only, no ramblings of a mired human in a society, no really rough sketches, etc.! Just! Art! Original and Fanart! and clean tags!
@meavitamin-notes (this one!) is the exact opposite! messy with sketches, rambling thoughts, processes--the only time you'll ever see finished art is when i reblog with notes for myself (and for you if you're interested!) with critiques on how to improve the piece and what i need to work on. I'd like to think it would be a nice view into a mind of an artist that could be helpful if you're a budding artist yourself. you can think of this as a very public art journal :D
Last but not least, if you're interested, feel free to follow me on my insta @/meavitamin !!! who knew i would go back but here i am! it'll be a mix of fanart, sketches, and original art, but probably a little more curated to hide my personality!
that about wraps it up! thanks a lot everybody!
#text post#i wean myself off of coffee and go back to simple tea only for a restaurant to literally only have COFFEE (i had yet to have caffeine)#context i went to get brunch#laid awake in bed contemplating my existence before 4AM hit and i surrendered myself to reading on my phone#which does not help i am aware yes but anyway i hit the 24 hour mark an hour ago and my filter is off so i'm posting on here this wild exp#normally i would not but this is hilarious to me#was gonna draw today but i'm not even gonna try (though the thought interests me to see how it'd go) (not well probably)#why does this happen when i'm out of school and when i don't want to#anyway going to stop now bye#tags after edit:#let's see how this goes yall pray for my sanity#both rn and in the future with me managing social media lolol#i made my insta public but i actually don't have a lot to post rn so i'll probs work on a sketch tomorrow while i post gero too#the overuse of exclamation points means i should get off oops#really representative of the weird energy i have rn i think my body is trying to cope with the lack of sleep#okay that's tmi methinks but again. funny to me.
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ok so i watched a video of the op with lyrics yesterday and i’m sure this has been analyzed to hell and back already BUT there’s still these two lines that are making me Emotionally Unwell
so this one, which is in the first minute or so, no news to anyone “knowing it all, am I destined to fall, like you once did for me” OUCH!! if we’re assuming the song is from LG’s POV (which...we are, right?) then not only Ouch but also Hm bc like. this implies that cxs “fell” for him once before right??? IS THERE A TIMELINE WHERE CXS TAKES A BULLET FOR LG OR SOMETHING. im gonna die
but then!!! then i listened to the REST of the song and this line came for me and my family: “wasn’t it hard to follow? I’d do it again tomorrow” LIKE....again if we’re assuming LG’s POV then like. he’d do it all over again. again and again, no matter how many times it takes, to save cxs iM FINE ITS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE IM FINE
#text post#(she wasn't fine)#im not gonna tag this bc ive been spamming it enough but. oh my god. oh jeez. oh man.#im so. im so unwell about these two boys#also this gets worse if we think of the song as CXS’s POV#which is actually what i think i meant to write as it pertains to the first line bc that makes more sense#actually this whole post makes more sense if i assume the song is CXS’s POV since like#he is the main focus of the OP#everything hurts and i’m dying
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the moment i stop watermarking gifs i see them reposted
fucking great
#text#reposts#not that watermarked gifs were not reposted but at least i did not see it right after i fucking posted something#wow thanks for the fucking mood#really makes me want to gif today more#yeah fuck no#are you really that dumb to think i won't see and recognize my own gifs HERE?#other socials i do not check that often to see it and i don't want to go there#i wanna see fan art of my fav shows on insta? lmao how about fuck tons of *ART* created from your gifs ??#had it enough with caos fandom not gonna even try to see any art anywhere#but im here i check tags to reblog stuff to my blog or sideblogs#I WILL SEE WHATEVER YOU POST#unless you block me#which will be good cos that way at least i will not know about reposts
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