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fincalinde · 1 year

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lwj, for the meme?

Not the Lan bro I was expecting but here goes!

a song that reminds me of them

This doesn't remind me of him because I wouldn't want to ruin it for myself, but I can imagine a sad montage of interregnum LWJ set to I Am Stretched On Your Grave. Anyway, my proper answer is Frostrósir by Eivør. It's in Faroese, which I do not speak, but I pinched something from here:

Each sigh from a lonely soul Every word that was formed without sound Now seems like a frostbitten affair Dressed in the guise of lifeless flowers

what they smell like

We have an answer to this in canon and it's sandalwood, so I don't have much to add.

an otp

I mean, it is the central point of the novel. But even aside from that, LWJ is consistently only ever interested in WWX. I'm not saying he shouldn't be interpreted as gay, but I am saying that even if he is gay it's secondary to his actual sexual identity which is Weiyingsexual. I'm not treading any new ground here.

Personally I don't find Wangxian interesting, but I at least believe they love each other and are compatible in the sense that they are both selfish in slightly different ways that mesh well for their own private universe. Not so great for others in their orbit, but part of that is authorial fiat so I try to be fair about what I hold against them.

I don't think CQL successfully executed the changes it made to Wangxian in having them click and partner up from the beginning, but I do think it was necessary to at least attempt to rebalance the relationship. In MDZS, WWX genuinely does not reciprocate LWJ's feelings in his first life beyond a very deeply buried and not particularly inevitable spark. His first life is really centred on his relationships with JC and JYL and they are the tragic 'romance' (in the traditional sense). LWJ only gets upgraded during the second life. Kind of awkward to do your sweeping romance if it isn't a romance in the 35+ episodes of flashbacks, so I don't blame them for trying. And I do like the Colin Firth vibes WYB brought to his LWJ.

a notp

Aside from not finding the idea of LWJ with anyone else convincing, let me take the opportunity to pettily sideswipe at Chengxian and shoving LWJ in to make it what? Wangchengxian? Is that what it's called? Either way, nooooooo thank you. You can't get much more fraternal than WWX and JC's idiot bickering, and even if they weren't such classic stupid boys together, JC and LWJ loathe one another with the kind of loathing that does not give way to a rendition of I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face. (Incidentally, in the original stage version Eliza walks out on Higgins never to return, and it is awesome.)

favorite platonic/familial relationships

Obviously it's his relationship with LXC (and by extension LQR?). Just absolutely fascinating. Their rapport is very sweet, as is LXC's protectiveness and gentle trolling. LWJ is not a particularly good didi, but LXC both doesn't notice and doesn't mind.

Actually, someone once made a meme for me in relation to this, let me dust it off and drag it out:

More seriously, though he was also raised with harsh discipline, in comparative terms LWJ is the spoilt baby of the family. As is often the result when we encounter morally rigid characters in MDZS, he is also in many respects hypocritical. Clearly I have a lot of negative things to say about him as a brother to LXC, but I'm not interested in demonising him and what's really interesting about it is that by and large this uneven dynamic works for the Twin Jades. Right up until it doesn't.

When LXC really needs LWJ to come through for him, he just doesn't. I'm not even talking about LWJ's behaviour leading up to and during the Temple, which is objectionable in the sense that he refuses to give JGY the benefit of the doubt that LXC extends to WWX. No, I'm talking about the fact that he bods off for literal months after LXC has just been through the worst experience of his life and lost his closest friend and partner. And I don't want to hear it about LXC being the elder and having a responsibility to take care of LWJ. LWJ owes consideration to his big brother and clan leader, even if that consideration might take a different form.

Here's a thought experiment. After WWX's first death, when LWJ has been whipped 33 times by the discipline whip and dragged himself to rescue LSZ and branded himself in drunken grief, can you imagine LXC bodding off for three months without a word to have picnics with JGY? It's inconceivable isn't it.

I didn't intend for this section to become a hit piece on LWJ and he obviously does love his brother, but in terms of actions it is somewhat of a one way street. The fact that LXC has no other expectations doesn't protect LWJ from my croc-hatted judgement face.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with

Righteous LWJ. Oh, please. In MDZS, righteousness goes hand in hand with hypocrisy, and though I doubt MXTX the human being intended LWJ to be read as thoroughly selfish, the (translation of) the text she wrote is a depiction of a profoundly selfish man. And that's not a bad thing, because his selfishness coupled with the occasions when he is genuinely altruistic makes him more interesting than if he really were a moralising ice cube with a ribbon tied around it.

the position they sleep in

Official Lan Position, and postcanon I probably don't want to know.

a crossover au i’d love to see them in

I'm going to be lazy and suggest X-Men AU again just because his secondary power would definitely be organic diamond form like Emma Frost. I don't think he'd also be a telepath, but the idea of that is funny because he could read WWX's mind and know for certain that WWX isn't (currently) into him. But as a serious answer, organic diamond form as a secondary power and then primary power the same as Alison Blaire. I see no reason why his mutant name wouldn't be Dazzler too.

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn

I think he only has like one outfit. I'm sorry, I'm not cool enough to be able to distinguish between different varieties of plain white robes. In CQL I prefer first life LWJ because they put that massive ornament on second life LWJ's head to make him look older and taller but actually they created an unfortunate perspective effect where he just looks even shorter.

#ask #crashorpie #roquen meta #me when i'm discussing lwj: CRITICAL DIDI FAILURE #me when i'm writing fic from lxc's perspective: precious tragic didi i would die for him

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amaurotine · 10 months

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ahhh cw for negativity.

i, too, long for plots. i feel like ppl really don't care about me, my muse, my desire to plot, or the oodles of meta i've written for hyth because at the end of the day, most ppl just want to ship with him or have a hyth muse on their ship roster and that's it, or its ppl who only ever really interact with me to like or comment on the occasional n/sf/w post out of the blue (which kinda makes me feel like both myself and my muse are being objectified, ngl) i do enjoy shipping, but this kind of behaviour is making me NOT want to ship with anybody period. i will also add that i love shipping for the sake of building a greater plot or dynamic. i want to have ships that exist for the sake of building stories. imo, that's the good kush.

i haven't been able to really find anyone who wants to do that, despite having been here for over a year. i really feel that for whatever reason, most ppl do not and/or cannot match my energy wrt writing and plotting (and to realistic, i definitely don't expect anyone to match my energy wrt portraying their muse to the extent that i do; i only ask that my energy be somewhat matched in the writing department), and while there are many valid (and often irl-related) reasons for that, it is nevertheless depressing and discouraging for me (and i will be th first to admit that im a slippery devil, i lose muse, and i drop threads due to my own energy levels and irl circumstances. it happens to everyone but like...damn. i do kinda feel like i put more into things than i recieve in turn. i am typically the one who approaches others first, and i feel like i'm silently expected to, which kind of spoils things.) as an accomplished writer w multiple degrees, i am more than capable of writing fic on my own, but i crave the collaborative worldbuilding that comes from rp, and that's literally why i'm here! it's also why you see me constantly talking about potential dynamics between hyth and other muses. (and if said proposed dynamic dosn't suit you or if you have a different idea, then please let me know so we can build something awesome together!) by that same virtue, i feel that i need to be more honest with myself and about what dynamics and muses do and don't interest me.

additionally, i very much feel like i'm generally the one who is expected to have plot ideas (and seeing multiple friends say the same thing, i do feel like this is a reflection of a larger issue of ppl who write canon muses/npcs constantly being expected to do the most, like we're always the ones who are supposed to have the plot ideas and we're magically expected to know about others' muses despite them having no about pages and not really telling us anything.) it places a lot of burden on me when ppl do this, especially when most ppl who do this dont have a detailed dossier or about page for their character. like. i don't know what the fuck i'm doing, i don't know about your muse, and i cannot read your mind. it's a really unfair and unreasonable way to treat ppl imo and makes rp more of a...weirdly one-off transactional process, which gives me horrendous vibes tbh? a lot of the plot ideas i personally have involve specific muses and have specific stipulations, which just don't seem to interest people or don't involve specific types of characters.

#🧋 — spillin' on ur dash.#i guess what im saying is: if ur not interested in writing with me and dont respect my lore then pls unfollow? sdjghdg #and if u dont have an about page or dossier thats fairly easy to find. then im not gonna write with u.

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skinnyscottishbloke · 1 year

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TOP SHOWS PART ONE

Okay here’s a list of my top shows, in no particular order, based on rewatchability, acting, cinematography, writing, surprising moments, and overall season by season/series satisfaction

HEARTSTOPPER

Perfect 10/10 A+ emotional fluff serotonin producing GORGEOUSNESS. The casting, writing, directing, acting, music choices, cinematography, and impact could not be improved in any way. I cannot wait for s02!! Queer joy forever 💖💖💖 Nick and Charlie are my children now and need to be protected at all costs.

SENSE8

One of the most unique, stunning, surprising, and satisfying shows I’ve ever seen. A+ 10/10 would not change anything (except how it got cancelled, fuck off Netflix). ALSO QUEER JOY FOREVER 💕💕💕💕 The Wachowskis are goddesses of film making sorry it’s true I don’t make the rules.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

It’s kickass, it’s groundbreaking, it’s funny, it’s campy, it’s sad, and the 90s fashions are ON FUCKING POINT. It’s a classic for a goddamn reason okay??? For a show about supernatural beings it manages to be one of the most human and relatable things I’ve ever watched.

PEAKY BLINDERS

A show about working class gangsters with a Roma background set in Birmingham England right after WWI?? YES PLEASE. Amazing acting and costume design and a whole lot of ‘what the fuck just happened?!’ moments. Come for Cillian Murphy as Tommy Shelby, stay for Helen McRory as Aunt Polly. Cause she’s a baddaassssss.

LEVERAGE

Found family found family found family!! A show that manages to take 5 main characters on arcs that end in better places than they started, which is so so refreshing. Incredible acting, and plots that manage to combine humor and gut punches with a slight hint of camp (aka my happy place). Added bonus for calling out capitalism and corruption without seeming too overbearing. 10/10 A+ no notes.

BLACK SAILS

Technically it’s a prequel to Treasure Island set during the Golden Age of Piracy; realistically it’s a hell of a lot more surprising, heartbreaking, and GAY than that. Another show that manages to make you go ‘what the fuck?!’ at every turn. A+ costumes and cinematography. And the characters themselves are so complex and intriguing; they’re angry and defiant and have a relatable ‘we’re gonna lose this war but we WILL make it an end to remember’ energy. Also Toby Stephens as Captain Flint. I mean. GODDAMN.

BONES

Probably the most ‘normal’ show on this list but like. IT IS SO GOOODDDD. The cases are well done, the cast of characters is interesting, the music is on point and so poignant, and the finale is satisfying. Do they have some misses along the way? Yeah for sure. It ran for 11 seasons it’s not really a surprise there were some problems. But they also had great representation for an early 2000s show (Cam, a black woman, running the lab, Angela being bisexual), great plot arcs, and some of the best individual television episodes I’ve ever seen (Gravedigger anyone? Judas on a Pole?) Plus these 2. I just love them so much.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

Where do I even start with this one? Cool world building? Check. Awesome animation and design? Check. A wide variety of characters, especially nuanced and non stereotypical female ones? Absolutely! ATLA will make you laugh, cry, and think about the world, all in one episode. Then there’s Zuko. His arc is just one of the best examples of character growth ever seen on TV. I love this show as much as the cabbage merchant loves his cabbages. 10/10 A+.

NORTH AND SOUTH (BBC)

If you love period dramas but are sick of shows that focus exclusively on upper crust rich people problems, watch this 2004 mini series. It’s based on an 1850s novel by Elizabeth Gaskell and follows the story of a girl who grew up in the countryside in the south of England but then moves to the grittier, darker, more industrial north. There’s in your face poverty, worker’s strikes, political upheaval and a whole lot more. It’s fabulous. Brendan Coyle and Richard Armitage star and let me tell you, RICHARD IS IMMACULATE. It also features the BEST ONSCREEN KISS OF ALL TIME I MEAN JFC LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE I AM DEAD.

BROOKLYN 99

Aaaaahhhhh this show!! It’s diverse, it’s poignant, it’s clever, it laughs at toxic masculinity, it’s quotable af, it’s a sitcom that proves you don’t have to be an asshole to be hilarious. The ensemble is lovable, the relationships are on point and oh, did I mention it’s HELLA QUEER? 10/10 everyone go watch.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Doctor Who

I love particular seasons of it but not every doctor or season soooo I can’t really say it’s a favorite all time overall show. Ninth and Tenth Doctor tho? THOSE ARE MY BOYS.

Merlin

I know I know I know - how is it not a top show when 60% of my blog is Merthur? Idk man. I’ve only watched it once and I really like to live in the fic universe more. Sorry. Maybe I’ll do a rewatch and my feelings will change but until then…🤷🏻‍♀️ I still love you Colin and Bradleyyyyyy.

Good Omens

Another show that I’ve only watched once. I absolutely ADORE the Aziraphale and Crowley dynamic but I don’t really care about the rest of the show or characters? So I can get all the ineffable spouses cuteness I need from fic. I am looking forward to s02 though!

The White Queen

Based on a Philippa Gregory novel, this is another Tudoresque historical drama telling the story of Elizabeth Woodville and the Wars of the Roses. The acting is really good and the pacing well done. I’ve watched it a few times and really enjoyed it.

#tv #about the blog #about me #long post #long post for ts #wow a lot these shows are hella queer aren’t they #HMMM I WONDER WHY THAT COULD BE #lol #my post #mine #queeranomaly #nelsonandspringforever #if you guys need new shows I guess these are kind of recs!!

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mrslittletall · 1 year

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2, 16, 24, 32, wildcard (pick a random number!)

Get to know your fic writer

2.) Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go? I have a rough outline and ideas for a fic, but I write on the go for 80 % of the time. I often want to get to a plot point and then the characters just run away from me. I would never write in a different way. I love this. 16.) How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them? Not really anything that isn't published or a WIP in the moment. Since the thing happened in December, I barely could come up with new stuff, all the stuff I am writing atm are old ideas that I wanted to start once my two big fics are done. Which they are now. I wish it would have been different circumstances. I wanted to write and publish this without these awful feelings. I miss having ideas. I miss daydreaming. I miss having a life that won't be overshadowed by worry and the wish that it never happened as well as the very dark thought that I sometimes wished my loved one had died so that I finally can have peace. Sorry, that was too much. I should talk to a therapist about this. 24.) Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you? Pretty much the entirety of the asks on the blog olderthannetfic. Which was one of the main reasons I unfollowed it. Pretty much every ask there was like "Oh, the way you write is wrong and cringy and I will hate you and your fic forever and ever and ever and nobody will ever like your fic." Yeah, that is just my anxiety speaking, but pretty much every writing related ask there made me cringe. It felt like nobody is allowed to have fun or nobody is allowed to write author's note or nobody is allowed to do anything. Also, never use ephitets. Yeah, don't OVERUSE them, but sometimes a sentence would be like "Name did that and then name did this and then he and he is Name 2 actually and sometimes you just NEED an ephitet or your sentence will sound clunky as fuck. 32.) Name three of your favorite fanfic writers. I read almost everything that Hambone posts. They are not on tumblr, don't bother looking for them. Other than that... I don't know. I don't really look for fic writers, I more look for fics that could interested me so I read quite a lot of different authors. All you guys in the Soulsborne Discord are of course awesome and favourite writes ^^ The wildcard 56.) What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

My dialogue. I just love letting characters talk to each other. It usually just easily flows then and I just have to let them do their thing and write down what they talk about. It just is really hard to get them to shut up...

#ask answered #thank you for the ask #about my writing

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raisinghellonstarbug · 1 year

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OK so I just wished to express this because I don't do it very often but feel the need to right now, even though it's actually hard to do so and put into words so I'll do my best, hopefully without sounding too disgustingly fan girly...

Basically Sam Fender is someone who despite being from a whole different part of England to me, is someone who as a person alongside his music, I could not relate to anymore to than I already do.

I have had the privilege of being able to express my adoration a little and was shocked when he responded to me over Instagram last year, but man I don't think he would even know the half of it if I could actually tell him all of it in person.

I just know I would find it difficult, I would stutter because of nerves and he would probably find it too overwhelming and somehow I would probably make him feel uncomfortable because I am good at that, and I think there's a reason I haven't met my absolute favourite actors/musicians for this very reason 🤣🤣 but yeah I would struggle for probably an hour or two before I would eventually calm down and be able to chat to him like an actual fucking normal person!

So instead I am letting it out to this tumblr void and letting it be here for just my thoughts and for anyone who might be slightly interested.

Sam Fender is like a mind reader. Like he really feels like he knows my life for real. I mean similarities are definitely there where my parents struggled financially when I was a child. I had an estranged relationship with my dad for years despite choosing to live with him when I was 10. My mum walked out on us and I was broken for years. I got bullied at school for years as well and although it's called "Dead Boys", I was nearly a Dead Girl that couldn't be explained, except I just wanted to die at 17.

Seventeen Going Under was really the hitting point for me. I really was 17 and going under in life. I was a mess. And then Spit of You made me bawl my eyes out when I first heard it because those lyrics alongside the music video was just pure dynamite for me, like everything that I wish I could express, but he has done it better than me.

I've considered the music route and have been told I am a good singer and a good writer, but damn, did I struggle to keep myself motivated to teach myself guitar. I did ok but then kind of gave up on it because I didn't think I could get very far.. I was watching my dad have mental breakdowns almost everyday which clouded my motivations. I still consider sometimes whether I try and pick it up again and play at an open mic night. One day I might. The closest I have come as of late so far is on karaoke nights working at the pub and only then do I sing my heart out besides at home 😄

His political views are a part of it too. Our political system is fucked and he expresses that brilliantly too with Long Way Off and Aye. I mean Hypersonic Missiles and White Privilege as well but they're more worldwide explanations. The left (Labour) and right (Conservatives) don't appeal to me either way. We need a whole revamp.

Basically this fella from North Shields is like a gift to me and to many others. I just wish he could know this without me sounding like a creepy fucker. He's just awesome in general really and I guarantee that if I wasn’t so awkward with celebrities and could actually keep my cool when I usually can, I would happily have a good old chinwag with him, just talk about life and have a few bevvies.

I mean hell, the actual dream would be to duet a song with him ❤ he would play guitar and I would sing. It's not expected though and seems like such a long shot to ever actually happen, and while I saw him perform at Ally Pally in London in November 2021, I did not get lucky in catching him after the gig. Maybe one day I will but then he would probably be super famous by then. He definitely deserves all the attention anyway!

So yeah. That was what I was thinking about this morning of all things 😅

I love you Sam Fender, even though you have no idea who I am.

Peace,

Luna x

#ok i think this is too cheesy but oh well #sam fender #this took me a while to write because i needed to make it clear goddamn it 😆#hypersonic missiles #seventeen going under #i love you sam

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traitor-boyfriend · 2 years

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south park re: scientology

Scientology specifically but cults more broadly have been a subject of interest of mine for a long time. I'm an avid listener of Leah Remini and Mike Rinder’s podcast exposing the state secrets of scientology. South Park's episode "Trapped in the Closet" has been mentioned in passing several times and I think people who are unaware of scientology outside of South Park underestimate just what an impact that episode had and continues to have in the present day.

I was motivated to write this post after listening to an episode featuring a guest appearance by Marc Headley; Headley is a former Sea Org member and author of Blown for Good. His wife, Claire Headley, is also a former Sea Org member of a higher OT (Operating Thetan) level than himself. The Sea Org is the administrative body of scientology. In his episode, Headley discusses how, after their joint defection from the church, they watched this episode together. Neither had ever seen it before leaving their positions within scientology.

Scientologists are notorious for their adversarial relationship with journalists, news media, and the internet; members are routinely advised to avoid seeking out anything related to scientology, founder L. Ron Hubbard, or its current head David Miscavige. Their access to such information is monitored as a prophylactic (and punitive) measure.

And Marc Headley mentions that the this is what scientologists actually believe sequence was the first time he was exposed to the ‘truth’ of scientology, and the role it played in contextualizing how absurd and bizarre the reality of what devout scientologists are indoctrinated to believe at a time when he was in the baby steps of deprogramming. He turned to ask his wife Claire if that was all true -- as this is not knowledge readily given to anyone below OT 3 -- and she simply laughed and said yes, it’s pretty accurate.

The reason for that is because Matt Stone and Trey Parker, facilitated by longtime producer Anne Garefino, invited Mark Ebner to speak with them while preparing the episode. Mark Ebner is a journalist who has been writing about scientology for nearly three decades and is one of many great writers covering the church from the perspective of someone who is not a high ranking ex-member. Though, Ebner did join the church in an undercover effort to gain firsthand understanding of the audit counseling process. This experience is from where much of his contribution to the episode is drawn from.

Matt and Trey had previously poked fun at scientology before, albeit in a more covert way. The 2001 season five episode “Super Best Friends” in which the boys are recruited into a cult headed by David Blaine (creatively called ‘Blaintology’) was later acknowledged as an early hit at the church. This episode is oft forgotten due to it being one of several episodes in South Park’s catalogue that is neither in syndication nor available through streaming owing to its depiction of the prophet Muhammad; it was scrubbed after the airing of the show’s infamous 200th and 201st episodes.

They were inspired to make a full episode on the church after a conversation with friend Penn Jillette, who was advised against doing an episode of his documentary program Bullshit! with Showtime out of fear for legal retaliation from the church. When asked about the decision to do so, Trey Parker said:

To be honest, what kept us from doing it before was Isaac Hayes [who does the voice of Chef]. We knew he was a Scientologist. And he’s an awesome guy. We’re like, Let’s just avoid that for now. But we’re friends with Penn Jillette, and Showtime wouldn’t let him do an episode of Bullshit! on Scientology. We’re going, That’s fucked up. And hearing other people say, “You can’t do that,”—you can only say “You can’t do that” so many times to Matt and me before we’re gonna do it. Finally, we just had to tell Isaac, “Dude, we totally love working with you, and this is nothing personal, it’s just we’re South Park, and if we don’t do this, we’re belittling everything else we’ve ripped on.” So we realized we had to do it, and now that we��ve done it, now it’s like we’ve sort of opened the floodgates. People will be less scared.

A few years back, Tony Ortega -- a remarkable journalist and the definitive authority on all things Scientology -- wrote a brief article on his website in conversation with Ebner about the impact South Park's episode had within the world of scientology. What is described are the ways in which Matt and Trey became targets caught in the cross-hairs of the church as well as corporate figureheads at Comedy central and Paramount who bent their knees first and foremost to none other than -- you guessed it -- Tom Cruise. Cruise, in true toddler fashion, threatened not to participate in any promotional publicity for the upcoming Mission Impossible: 3 (a Paramount production) unless Comedy Central pulled the episode out of cable syndication, which did happen. Comedy Central and Paramount are both properties of Viacom. At this time in the mid 2000s it seems inarguable that Tom Cruise’s star power burned far brighter than that of Matt Stone and Trey Parker in the corporate consciousness. Money talks, and quite loudly at that. The LA Times affectionately dubbed this controversy Closetgate.

But what of the church?

What happens here next is that the Church of Scientology set their sights on Matt Stone and Trey Parker. They are declared as SPs (suppressive person). Suppressive person is a label applied to anyone that is critical of scientology or its mouthpieces and is considered ‘dangerous’ to the ultimate goals of the church. People who are deemed SPs are liable to be subjected to “fair game”. Fair Game is a policy within scientology conducted by the OSA (office of special affairs) wherein which sustained and relentless harassment campaigns, excessive litigiousness, and surveillance is levied upon whomever has been declared “fair game” with the express purpose of ruination.

Here comes Marty Rathbun. Rathbun is an ex-Sea Org member, David Miscavige’s former right-hand man, and the #2 executive in the corporate structure of a global cult. He famously left the church in 2004 but considered himself an “independent scientologist,” which is common with defectors. Some years later he would begin his own blog where he wrote extensive articles revealing internal documentation and his personal experiences as a mafia capo facsimile about harassment campaigns against famous SPs, abuse and degradation faced by Sea Org rank-and-files at the hands of Miscavige (as well as himself), and the church’s many, many legal misadventures. He was also a consultant seen in Louis Theroux’s terrific and terrifying 2015 documentary, My Scientology Movie.

Rathbun is why much of this information about fair game directed at Stone and Parker in retaliation for “Trapped in the Closet” is corroborated public knowledge. But keep in mind, Rathbun is a controversial figure within the community of ex-scientologists and adulation as a hero should be avoided; there is a lot of confusion regarding his status within the church. Many believe he has rejoined, which is doubtful. What is more likely is, following a lawsuit filed jointly by himself and his wife against the church regarding their harassment of the couple, that there is a high likelihood of a generous, under-the-table cash settlement. This would explain why Rathbun has in recent years set his sights more and more at discrediting fellow ex-scientologists speaking out against the church like Leah Remini and Mike Rinder, as well as reputable journalist Tony Ortega. He is essentially still a scientology attack dog, but acting independent of directives of the church that were previously required by his position.

There is not an overwhelming breadth of specificity regarding the harassment lobbed Stone and Parker’s way, but lots in the way of generalities. This article by Tony Ortega at The Village Voice details it as such. Highlights include:

Private investigators hired to rifle through garbage for incriminating refuse

Close friends and employees being stalked, investigated, and/or asked about their connection to the pair. Such people include Troma Entertainment founder Lloyd Kaufman (Parker) and actor John Stamos (Stone)

Seeking out public footprints -- i.e. bank records, phone records, legal records etc. -- available on both Stone and Parker as well as their associates in attempt to uncover potential criminality or otherwise private information for use as ammunition in public smear campaigns to discredit and degrade them

These efforts were obviously unsuccessful, but they are said to have been under high investigative scrutiny within the church for a “significant time,” and though they certainly have bigger fish to fry in defense of the church’s public reputation (namely the many internal whistleblowers), it is not improbable there is still sporadic monitoring of the two.

Now, the arc within the episode itself regarding the ‘truth’ about scientology (Xenu, aliens) is somewhat beside the point as it relates to the broader hold of scientology as a ‘religious technology’. Scientology -- like most cults -- has a very boil-the-frog approach to indoctrinating people. As earlier specified by Headley, this does not become part of scientology’s ecclesiastical canon until a person reaches OT 3. For reference, Stan in the episode is lauded for having a thetan read of OT 9. In order to reach any of the OT levels of the scientologist bridge to total freedom, a person must first go through the process of “objectives.” These are the introductory courses provided in pursuit of “going clear”; once someone has gone clear (meaning, when one no longer possesses a “reactive” mind), then they begin climbing the rungs of the OT ladder.

These courses are designed to do two specific things: be a financial drain, and desensitize a person to objective reality and guide them toward a mental state in which they are vulnerable and receptive to manipulation. Courses are pedantic, repetitive, and extraordinarily strict in regards to interpretation of source material (dianetics). Scientology engages in absolutes and relies on black-and white thinking.

It is useful in the episode to straight-out go to the Xenu storyline. For the general public who either 1.) knows nothing of scientology, or 2.) only knows it as a fringe, wacky but harmless woo-woo Hollywood happening, it undercuts the work (read: brainwashing) necessary to be entrusted with this information. By the time your average scientologist who has gone through all introductory coursework, gone clear, and begun climbing OT levels, this is a person who has already sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars in financial investments and several years of their life. This is a person who can be sold a bridge. Most scientologists will never reach this level; though no hard numbers are kept, several former scientologists estimate that only 5% of people affiliated with the church will ever reach OT 3.

If you ask someone today what they know of scientology there is a large array of documentary media, stand-up comedy, podcasts, journalistic coverage in mainstream media, celebrities etc. that they may point to. Chances are good though that if you asked the average person in 2005 what they know of scientology, they would tell you: Tom Cruise is a member of it, and South Park made fun of it.

It is a genius setup to have Stan left out from the group because he is trying to save money, and to have him stumble upon the offer of audit counseling by people who seem well-meaning, happy, and helpful. He “discovers” he is depressed; he is offered the one true solution. Like any cult, Scientology sinks its claws deepest in people who are depressed, aimless, alienated. It provides purpose and clarity and community in a life where there is none.

Unlike what many people believe, no one is too smart to become a member of a cult; anyone can find themselves in a potential state of mind in which they are desperately seeking something and are highly suggestible. Uniquely suggestible, too, in a way that bleeds American is scientology’s reliance on celebrity to sell a bill of goods. The power of celebrity and iconography is something L. Ron Hubbard sought to harness from early on to effect mainstream proselytizing. It is an excellent subversion of such for South Park to then humiliate Tom Cruise, the most bombastic and steadfast of all celebrity scientologist bell-ringers, by portraying him as a simpering lunatic who is, well... throwing a fit in a nine-year-old’s closet for the duration of the episode.

One thing to keep at the forefront is that Scientology is indeed in its death throes. Despite constant inflated figures regarding current membership, the church is losing members at an exponential rate; chief among those growing ex-members is the scientologist golden goose -- celebrities. Given the widespread accessibility of the internet, scientology is not drawing in numbers the way it used to. But in the time following its initial publication, Hubbard’s Dianetics was popular among circles seeking reprieve from the woes of life outside the crude callousness of then-conventional psychiatry. For some perspective, note that Dianetics was published May 9th, 1950; it was only just the previous year that Egas Moniz -- mentor to American neurologist Walter Freeman, who popularized the lobotomy -- was awarded the Nobel prize in medicine for developing the radical procedure that was promised to ‘revolutionize’ the treatment of mental illness. Dianetics was once an appealing alternative.

I would be remiss to make no mention of the fact that there is, of course, the suspicious circumstances under which Isaac Hayes’ role on the show as Chef was terminated a few months after its premiere and what responsibility his association with scientology might have in his untimely death. Isaac Hayes is known to have left the show through a public statement that was presented in protest against Matt and Trey for their portrayal of scientology by crossing the line of satire into “intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs.” Isaac Hayes unfortunately died three years later in 2008.

What many people don’t know is that Matt and Trey allege they did indeed discuss their intentions for the episode with Isaac Hayes before its production, and he had no qualms about their tackling of the church. He is quoted to have said on an episode of the radio show Opie and Anthony that December (roughly a month after the episode aired):

“Well, one thing about Matt and Trey, they lampoon everybody, and if you take that shit serious, then I'll sell you the Brooklyn Bridge for two dollars. That's what they do.”

“Trapped in the Closet” premiered on November 16th, 2005; three months later on march 13th, 2006, a letter purportedly signed by Hayes was issued that detailed his objection to the episode and a desire to be released from his contract -- which Matt Stone obliged. There was no direct, physical contact between Hayes, Stone, and Parker at this time.

Coincidentally, a week after that open letter was issued it was reported that Isaac Hayes had suffered a stroke earlier that January. Hayes’ spokesperson, Amy Harnell (who is herself a scientologist) denied this claim and said that Hayes had only spent some brief time in the hospital for the comparably benign issue of high blood pressure. However, later that October, Hayes himself confirmed he did indeed have a stroke. Isaac Hayes would be dead less than two years later.

Hayes’ stroke was by no means a minor medical issue -- according to his son, Isaac Hayes III, in conversation joined by Parker and Stone for South Park’s 20th anniversary, Hayes was left unable to speak and with severe cognitive and neurological impairment that notably necessitated him needing to relearn how to play the piano -- the piano being an instrument Isaac Hayes was a proficient virtuoso of from the time he was a teenager. Hayes III believes with certainty that a currently unknown entity with some association to his father published the open letter that him from his South Park contract at the behest of the church given Hayes was medically incapacitated at the time of its publishing to do so on his own behalf.

On August 10th of 2008, Isaac Hayes was found unresponsive by paramedics near a treadmill in his home. At the time his cause of death was not known publicly; an autopsy was not performed. His death was later ruled a stroke. It is estimated that roughly 15-30% of people who survive a stroke are at risk of a recurrent stroke within two years of their first, and the mortality rate of a recurrent stroke is substantially higher without preventative medical intervention.

Keep in mind, this is not to lose sight of the forest for the trees. I do not believe Isaac Hayes was murdered; what I do believe is that it is a reasonable assumption to make that Isaac Hayes’ medical condition left him extremely vulnerable to his scientologist handlers. His immediate professional circle was made up almost entirely of fellow scientologists, according to Hayes III. This is a common reality for a celebrity parishioner. It is entirely possible that Isaac Hayes was discouraged by a scientologist entourage to seek the appropriate, long-term rehabilitation and medical support he needed after his initial stroke which may have worsened his outcomes. This is all pure speculation but were anything definite to come out some day alluding to such, it would not surprise me.

There is a harrowing breadth of personal accounts from former Sea Org members regarding the extreme reluctance with which any of them ever stepped foot in a hospital to be treated for serious illness or injury -- injuries ranging from electrocution as a result of members with no vocational training being made to perform electrical work, punitive beatings and torture performed for derelictions of duty or violation of church policy, and motorcycle accidents occurring onsite at scientology’s notorious Gold Base in Riverside County, California. Hospitals are avoided to prevent any legal prying into the abusive and illegal manner these injuries are often acquired due to mandatory reporting laws in addition to beliefs that physical ailments can be resolved through auditing to rid oneself of the Body Thetans that cause them as opposed to conventional medicine.

There is also the devastating case of Lisa McPherson, a woman who was privately sequestered for monitoring and counseling under the guise of “rest and relaxation” after experiencing an episode of depressive psychosis. She died 17 days later of a pulmonary embolism with no attempts made to provide her with standard hospital care. It remains one of the church’s largest scandals to date; a lawsuit brought by her family reached a private settlement in 2004, a little over a year before “Trapped in the Closet” aired.

To reach some sort of conclusion, Matt and Trey built an early reputation for themselves as the “anti-establishment.” This is no longer the case -- not with South Park currently in its 25th season, both Stone and Parker being worth millions, and with many other successful, mainstream business ventures. However, I think it’s easy to lose sight of the fact they are certainly creators of a different cloth. You don’t need to look much further than a quick google search of “south park controversy” to see that.

But this entire debacle does demonstrate something specific about both the show and Matt and Trey themselves -- that being, even when I disagree, I have a deep appreciation for Matt and Trey’s refusal to see any topic as off-limits or any bully too big. Scientology is well-known to file suit at the drop of a hat and have skirted much legal repercussion by simply exhausting and discouraging all dissent and criticism by abusing the pay-to-play parameters of the American judicial system. It is the reason the church still maintains its tax-exempt status and its classification as a religion. Countless others of comparable status to themselves have said, no, I don’t want to deal with all that -- and this is not a condemnation; it’s definitely not a wrath I would wish anyone to incur. Of Matt and Trey, it is an admirable quality they possess as public figures to have been warned of all the professional and personal risk they may be taking on to make a mockery of one specific, niche subject -- at a time when South Park was a definite cultural phenom, but not quite yet the too-big-to-fail iconoclast staple of American media we know it as today -- and to say fuck that, we’re doing it anyway.

About the show, scams/grifts/snake oil salesmen are recurring fodder for South Park to attack. And they have a relatively good eye for such; great examples outside scientology include their episode on psychic John Edwards to as recent as this past special, with future butters and his NFT ponzi scheme. Something that holds true as a broad generalization is that the vitriol is concentrated on these scams and not those who fall for it. Matt and Trey seem to detest few things more than someone or something that seeks to pull the wool over another’s eyes for profit. You see it in “Trapped in the Closet” when Stan approaches the podium after scientology is revealed to him as a ‘global scam’ by the Miscavige stand-in. It pans to the auditors we see earlier in the episode: the joyful woman crying as she takes dutiful notes, the excited man with clasped hands and bated breath.

These are not the bad people. And we are not meant to believe they are bad people. These are people who think they are witnessing something extraordinary that will alter their lives in a deeply special, magical way. The narrative extends our sympathy to them -- this is what compels Stan to tell the truth because no profit is worth deceiving someone to such an immoral degree. Where it’s very easy to find a sentiment of “what sort of idiot could fall for xyz?!” mirrored in other media, South Park avoids this low-hanging fruit and taps into something both more sympathetic and closer to reality.

TL;DR: it is a good thing that much public awareness about the Church of Scientology in the culture of American media is born from South Park’s “Trapped in the Closet.” It bears a significant, material responsibility in humiliating the church, consecrating its status as a cult, and shedding light on the octopus of malice that is the hierarchal structure of scientology’s corporate body. It paved new ground for emboldening creatives, journalists, and watchdogs to speak freely in the public sphere about the evils of the church. The 2010s saw innumerable celebrity scientologists and ex-members come forward to condemn executive leadership and denounce scientology as a belief system. The tide is turning -- has been for some time -- against scientology and Miscavige in the present day but instances in which anyone other than journalists and ex-scientologists offered criticism both harsh and accurate at the expense of their person were few and far between. South Park deserves a bone thrown its way for that.

#long post #man oh man did i absolutely not intend for this to get as long as it did #but everything felt necessary to the context #south park

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lockefanfic · 3 years

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The Girl with the Purple Hair

A/N: No smut here, guys, sorry to disappoint you - just some fluff. I wrote this fic literally four (!) years ago - one of my first k-pop fics and my first non-smut fic. I never reposted it here for some reason, but an ask I received recently got me to re-read it and I remembered how proud I was of it when I wrote it, so here it is. Please don’t judge me :P

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Purple.

It’s the first word that comes to mind when you see her. And how could it not be, given the color of her hair? It’s not like purple hair is a common thing - not like there are other people in the noisy, crowded bar that have purple hair. In fact, this is probably the first time you’ve seen someone in person with purple hair. Normal people had normal colored hair, like black or brown or blonde. Her hair isn’t some lazy dye job, either, with shades and highlights and a gradient to the violet strands.

You don’t want to be caught staring, and so you steal glances at her every now and then, and every time you look her way, the first thing you notice is the wavy strands of purple as they play about her shoulders, falling lazily down like a waterfall on an alien world, where the water happens to be purple.

Beautiful.

It’s the next word that comes to mind, because were anyone to look just a little past the eye-dazzling color of her hair, they’d find a beautiful face, made with delicate, small features. She is traditionally beautiful in the sense that any man or woman would agree with you if you said “here is an attractive human being.” There is a timelessness, a universality to her beauty. She could have been born a hundred years ago and still be considered pleasing to the eye - purple hair aside, she could be a painting of a woman from a time gone by, dressed up in the fashion of a model from the magazines of today.

There is a playfulness about her features at the moment, as she indulges in conversation with the three other girls at her table. Her three friends are nothing to sneeze at, but she makes them all pale in comparison - part of it is the ridiculous, daring color of her hair, but there is something more than that. She possesses a magnetism, an allure that makes her stand out amongst three girls that, were they anywhere else, would easily be the most attractive girls in the room.

You’re not alone either, sitting as you are with a few of your friends at your own table on the other side of the small bar. It is Friday evening, and as is custom with your co-workers, you all headed to the bar to celebrate another week gone by. But they are currently immersed in a conversation about some work-related topic, some absent co-worker or client (you weren’t really sure anymore) that was frustrating them. Uninterested in the topic, you found your attention drifting, naturally, to the girl with the purple hair.

You notice that she has a certain aloofness about her, a certain detached nature from the conversation her three friends are having, and for a moment you wonder if perhaps she is in the same boat as you - stuck at a bar with friends who are babbling about co-workers or video games or guys or shopping or cars or clothes or those girls in the random k-pop video playing on one of the big screen TVs, when clearly you’d rather be anywhere but there.

The other three girls seem like average girls, typical of the type you’d see at a downtown bar on a Friday night, out to have a good time with friends whilst under the influence of perhaps one too many alcoholic beverages. They are the type that would head to a club after they are sufficiently liquored up at this bar, spend the night dancing, post a group picture on Instagram when the night is at its peak, and then make a post on Facebook about how awesome it was the day after.

But the girl with the purple hair seems different from the other three.

She lets her gaze wander, and for a split second you are afraid again that perhaps she would catch you staring, but thankfully her eyes drift in a direction opposite from you. She lets a small, almost imperceptible sigh escape her lips, and you wonder if perhaps she would rather be somewhere else, perhaps at home on the couch binge watching some random show on Netflix, or playing Overwatch, or indulging in some random artistic pursuit that you didn’t even know existed.

She seems like the type that would play Overwatch. She seems like the type that paints, or makes her own earrings that she sells on Etsy, or likes to watch movies in foreign languages. Maybe she watches them with the subtitles off sometimes, just to see if she can understand what they’re talking about simply from the universality of gestures made by foreign hands and the tones of foreign voices coming from foreign mouths.

The sudden realization that you are framing this random girl in your mind rattles you a bit, and you smile to yourself as you shake your head, as if to rid those stupid, childish thoughts. You didn’t know this girl, not even in the slightest, and it was wrong of you to impose a character, a personality, on someone you knew nothing about.

You play idly with the small glass of whiskey in your hand, watching as the amber brown liquid swirls about. You take a sip and appreciate the warm taste of it in your mouth and down your throat, appreciating the soft burn, the soft warmth it leaves behind.

You take a moment to try to tune back into the conversation your friends are having, but they are knee-deep in a conversation about a Super Nintendo game. You loved vintage games - there was something about the original plastic in your hands, and the classic, blocky pixels on your screen, that made it feel more authentic in the way an emulator on a modern console could never be.

You are about to join in on the conversation, about to tell your friends about some random game you picked up online, when a movement on the other side of the bar catches your attention - the girl in the purple hair is raising a glass. One of her friends is speaking earnestly, it appears, and after finishing her little speech the brunette girl next to her gives her a hug - perhaps it was a toast? Perhaps it is the brunette’s birthday? It probably was. Either way, the girls clink their glasses together, and down their shots in one gulp.

The girl in the purple hair scrunches her face as she forces the strong liquor down her throat. Immediately you think that perhaps it the cutest thing you’d ever witnessed, and you find that a small smile has appeared, unconsciously, on your lips.

The four girls share that wonderful post-shot reaction with each other, complaining about how awesome that small bit of alcohol they just had was. Together three of them tease the orange-haired, thin girl who is struggling with the alcohol and having a coughing fit. They laugh and one of them grabs her phone to take a picture of the poor girl, who, to her credit, is laughing along with them, probably out of embarrassment.

The girl with the purple hair joins in on the fun, saying something that must have been hilarious, for all three of her companions burst out in laughter - including the thin girl struggling with the shot. The girl smiles, and her eyes narrow to thin half-arcs. In that moment she is the picture of happiness and joy.

She says something else to her group - you assume it is her declaring that the next round is on her. She stands, and the girls make way for her to leave their table.

For the first time you get a glimpse of her from head to toe. She is wearing a short, black dress, and what appears to be a grey patterned collared shirt beneath it. The dress is plain and relatively short but not overly so, showing off her long, slender legs without being improper or overly suggestive. It’s an interesting outfit; classy enough to be worn to work, whilst casual enough for a night out with the girls.

Here again she differs from her compatriots, who appear to be dressed in typical club girl outfits, with short tops and skirts, heels and small, glamorous purses and accessories. If ever there was a club girl starter kit, they were perfect models.

But the girl with the purple hair, as you’ve come to see, is a little different from her friends.

You watch as she approaches the bar. There is an elegance in the way she walks, which is admirable considering the alcohol you presume she’s consumed thus far this evening.

Later on, you’ll wonder where your sudden burst of confidence came from. But at that moment, when the girl with the purple hair reaches the bar and tries, unsuccessfully, to flag down the overly busy bartender, you see an opportunity.

Hastily, you mumble something to your friends about grabbing the next round, and step away from the table. Out of the corner of your ear, you hear one of your friends wonder where you’re going, and another say that you still have an almost full pitcher at your table - but they are irrelevant now. Nothing else exists aside from the thirty feet between you and the spot at the bar next to the girl with the purple hair.

Where did this come from, this sudden burst of confidence, this sudden need to get up and go over to this girl to talk to her? Was it the liquor, the liquid confidence coursing through your veins? No. It was the desire, nay, the need to speak to this girl, the need to see if she really was everything you’d built up in your mind. You needed to speak to her, to ask her her name, maybe find out a little about her. Even if she shot you down before you could get a sentence out, well, at least you had tried. You couldn’t bear the thought of wondering what might have been had you not done something.

Ten feet away. You take a deep breath, and ready what you are about to say in your mind. Some comment about her hair? A stupid, corny joke, just to break the ice?

Five feet away. Maybe some witty comment about bad bartenders?

Two feet - and suddenly your thoughts disappear, and your mind goes blank as the girl with the purple hair turns her head and makes eye contact with you. Later you would realize that moment seemed to go on forever. You were hardly the mushy, sentimental type, but you finally understood why the movies slow that moment down, why the soft music plays in the background during those scenes. You wonder if this is what it feels like when someone who will be important in your life looks at you for the first time.

You are relieved, beyond words, to see a smile appear on her lips.

You smile back, although you wonder if perhaps the nervousness coursing throughout every fibre of your being is having an effect on your smile, and if you are actually grimacing oddly at her instead of smiling. But your mouth and lips miraculously follow the orders sent to them by your dazzled mind, because her smile widens a little bit in the way that smiles do when they are returned.

It is just a second, maybe two, of the many billions of seconds in your life, but it felt like an eternity.

You reach the bar, your legs - your wonderful, reliable, stable legs - by some miracle not failing you and delivering you safely to the bar without collapsing due to sheer nervousness. You remember who you are, what you came here to do, and you try to act as casual as your nerves could allow you to. You make a show of trying to flag down the bartender, but he is busy on the other end of the bar catering to some especially loud patrons.

Your mind is racing, trying and failing to remember what it was you were going to say to the girl with the purple hair, your nerves suddenly afire at the mere proximity of the young woman you’d been stealing glances at all night. You were far from inexperienced with the opposite sex, far from being some timid fool when it came to approaching them. But this one was different. This one was special.

Maybe you should just say hi. Start simple, y’know? But dammit, that never works. You needed something witty, something memorable, something that would make her laugh and giggle and think ‘clearly this man’s shirt is made of boyfriend material and I should throw myself into his arms posthaste.’ You don’t get that with hi!. No one gets that with hi. Girls want someone cocky and confident and sure of himself. No one ever just says hi! You know who approaches girls and says hi? Single guys, that’s who! Don’t just say hi!

Dammit! What were you going to say? Your mind races, tries to think back to other times you’d approached girls, tries to remember what you said to them when you were successful. Gah! Your mind fails you, returns only a simple blank slate, as though your mind had put on its hat and jacket, hung up a sign that said “you’re on your own, kid,” and then started to walk home.

You tap your fingers nervously on the bar surface, trying, and perhaps failing, to appear as casual as possible as you stare, blankly, in the general direction of the too-busy bartender as he struggles to pour the correct kinds of alcohol in the correct kinds of glasses in the correct proportions.

Clearly you needed to make some witty comment to break the ice. A small joke, perhaps? A corny one, or a genuinely funny one? What was a good joke… dammit! Damn you, mind, and your vacation time! Perhaps mention something… about… sports! Yes, it was a bar, and there were sports playing on the TVs. Maybe she was a hockey fan? Or soccer? What if she liked one, but not the other? Which sport had the highest proportion of purple haired fans? What if she thought sports were stupid, a male-dominated dick measuring contest that wasn’t worth her time or attention, and she thought less of you for liking them? Dammit!

Maybe you should comment on her hair? Maybe something along the lines of… perhaps… using her hair to get the bartender’s attention? Then segue into how it got your attention. That’s it. Hahahaha, you laugh nervously in your mind’s eye. Then she would say how she was hoping you’d come over to talk to her, and you’d say she was awesome and you’d go on a date the next day and get married a month after that and later you’d have kids and live happily ever-

There is a soft tap on your forearm. You turn, nervously, to the girl with the purple hair, and the sight of her face, her eyes locked on yours, that bright smile once again on her lips, causes your heart to skip a beat like it was a crack on the sidewalk.

The next day, when you’d recovered from the whirlwind of the night’s events, you’d realize that her first words to you, the first sounds you’d hear from her voice, would sound like music. And it was crazy, considering it was just a single syllable, a single word, but someone could have told you that the entirety of Beethoven’s works were held within that syllable, and you’d have believed it.

The girl with the purple hair’s mouth opens, her lips part, a she leans towards you with a soft smile and says:

“...Hi.”

#kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #male reader #blackpink jisoo #Kim Jisoo #fluff

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deviliciousdev · 3 years

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appreciation post for the types✨

from your local intp🖤

------------------------

✨The Sensors✨

estj (the executive)

Oh the executive, the most organized and loud boss bitch to ever exist. You cut through the bullshit and do not let anything stand in your way. And yet, like you're intuitive counter part (entj) you are quite sensitive if and when something hurts your feelings. Even though you're an expert at being all business during business hours, you still know how to have fun. and omg you have such a dorky sense of humor and love random facts, we love that. you are/can/will be a great leader/parent. All in all you are THEE boss and everyone knows it. keeping leading and kicking ass. 👏🏼

estp (the entrepreneur)

i absolutely adore estp's. you are the epitome of one of my fav character arcs. which is the charismatic rogue, who possibly drinks a lil more than they should, but can handle their liquor like a sailor (amazingly). you never back down from a challenge. you are so fun and wild in a han solo type of way, that just makes everyone want to be around you. but the best thing about you, is the way (deep down & to those you let close know) you are actually such a sweetheart. you would get hit by a bus trying to rush to make sure a friend is ok. you would take a bullet for any of your loved ones and let them cry on your shoulder. you're secretly the white knight but you're happy to let everyone think you're just the brash rogue. you're one of my best friends and someone i will adore with all my heart till the end of time.💕

p.s if you don't have an estp in your life, get one ASAP. they are a necessity for a complete friend group.

istj (the logistician)

oof, yes istj's. so sublet in their charm, and ready to die for what they believe in. i love the istj because you have two of an intp's fav qualities at your core. badassery & humility. you're like this pillar of certainty. even if you are uncertain about something, no one would ever be able to tell. you have a way of decision making that's not loud or overwhelming. which is why intp's love when you plan things. you're also quiet at first, but if you're challenged, you would never let someone walk all over you or something/someone that matters to you. i also love that you're one of the types (alongside infp & entj) that is sooo funny and goofy when you're drunk. like a lil toddler. #adorable

istp (the engineer)

ahhhh, the intp's sensing counter part. istp's fucking rule. truly. you believe in many of the same principles intps do. the main one being, keeping an open mind without fore fitting you're own beliefs. your exterior calm and collected nature makes you cool af. AND you also have such a FANTASTIC sense of sarcastic humor. like yes bitch. i love the way intps are the idealists and istps are the doers. if an istp and intp got together, ooof the world better beware the chaos that would ensue. also you guys have thee COOLEST fictional characters. the first one that always comes to mind is Arya Stark from Game of Thrones. like suchhhhhhh a badass who also roasts literally EVERY single person in that show no matter if it's the fucking leader of the house you're at war with. out of all the types i think you would be the best assassin. to sum up i think the word i always relate to you is... cool. 😎 like plain and simple. 💀🤘🏼

p.s let's be partners in crime. 😁🚨🚓

esfj (the consul)

ok, ok, so first things first, because you are so opposite of the intp, i know we can butt heads sometimes. the main reason this happens is because nt's will see you're want to make others happy as a negative. HOWEVER, as i have gotten to know and respect an esfj as they are a part of my family (irl). i can say that the perceived notion of esfj's wanting to please everyone to get them to like them is a bit misguided. while esfjs DO want everyone to be happy, it's not always about being the popular kid. it's actually because they care about others. AND not just others but like situations. they really care if a party or a dinner is going smoothly. because they want events and people to have an enjoyable time and be happy. so esfj's I SEE YOU. and i genuinely appreciate how much you care about even the smmmmallest things. you are very dependable and high key you've taught me a lot. like how/why it's important to always say please and thank you. and you showed me that having emotions (like being nervous) isn't a weakness and it actually shows us what's important. esfj's are HIGHLY underrated, and much more wise than anyone gives you credit for.

p.s you are so much fun to prank and you always give as good as you get. 🤘🏼

esfp (the entertainer)

holy shit. that's all i can think when i think of the memories we share. we somehow bring out the worst/best in one another. you and infp are the ones i tell first when i get good news because i know you'll hype me the fuck up. we have sooooooooooo much fun together. you are so absolutely awesome and one of my best friends in the whole wide world. if i have a passing random idea, YOU WILL DO IT. i can be like "wouldn't it be funny if someone got on the hood of the car and twerked" and you're hilarious crazy ass will literally jump out of the car and do it. just because it's funny. you can party soooo hard, like rockstar level. you 100% need you're own reality show. your presence makes my introverted self feel more confident even when i'm at my lowest. with all that chaotic-ness said, you are actually a REALLY good parent/s.o?? such a crazy bitch, but also wife material?? like are you real?? anywayyyyy, just wanna say esfp's are the bad bitches of the types (no gender intended, bitches is gender neutral). and i can't wait for our next adventure. 🤩💜

isfj (the defender)

ok so even though you're a feeling type, i would have to say you're the most logical out of ALL the feeling types. i think it comes from you're mama bear (no specific gender intended) core. you don't put up with anyone's shit when it comes to those you care about. and dayummm will you fuck someone up (metaphorically and literally) if they come for your loved ones. you are VERY intelligent and people often underestimate you. the word that comes to mind when i think about isfjs is... resolve. your resolve in the face of hardship is so inspiring and something to be feared. i really love the way you seem so chill and even sweet and gracious and then it's like... oh fuck mamas here... but you don't even have to raise your voice to get your point across. like the istj, you've got a certainty and loyalty that intp's lovvveee. we never have to guess where you're loyalties are, because you don't just say, you show, through real actions. and we love that. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🐻

isfp (the adventurer)

oh the isfp, no one and i mean no one can match the intp's weird out of the box thinking like you. can. you view the world in SUCH a unique way. you not only see things in deep meaningful aesthetics, but you make them a reality. you love to push the envelope of what are perceived social normals. and we lovvvvvvve that shit. you're life can be so out there, but you still respect and can make friends with just about anyone. you're so sweet and creative. and you always show me something sooooo interesting. a hidden gem, a beautiful view spot, a hole in the wall place to eat. you've got that thing that xntp's sort of fall head over heels for, but in a subtle way to where we don't even realize it. and you can make time the illusion it actually is, not even noticing that we've been hanging out for like 12 hours, because it felt like 30 minutes. and omg talk about talented! anything that requires creativity you are always so good at, like wtf?? 😂👏🏼 i will end this by saying; you're simultaneously the most tranquil yet exciting person i've ever met. and truly one of a kind. keep doing exactly what you're doing and i can't wait to see what you come up with next.

p.s you are my top choice, to go to Bali & Tulum with✨🤍☯️

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ch1giri · 3 years

Note

heyy!! I found your blog recently and I really enjoy reading your writings! You’re an amazing writer! I’m really happy to see more Blue Lock content as well! Blue Lock is such an awesome manga and I love it so much! I look forward to more of your works! 💘

Could I also request maybe First Date headcanons with Sae, Rin, Nagi, Chigiri, Reo, Kunigami, Isagi, or any of the Blue Lock boys? Thank you!

Hi anon you are such a sweetheart thank you so much! This made my day (*≧з≦) I apologise for making you wait too long, I hope you'll like it! Also, sorry some of them were much longer than the others

First date headcanons

Characters: Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi, Nagi Seishiro, Reo Mikage, Chigiri Hyoma, Kunigami Rensuke and Isagi Yoichi

Sae Itoshi

• You have to be very special to catch his eye. He doesn't go just for anyone, but you, you're definitely special

• And once he confirms his feelings for you he confidently asks you out. Bonus points if you get flustered a bit, he thinks it's cute that he has that effect on you.

• Once you guys agree to go on a date this boy immediately rearranges his schedule around the date

• He tried suggesting that you two go on your first date in Spain or France. But you politely shut down his idea down, saying that he doesn't need to go overboard for your first date

• So you guys settle for a nice restaurant in Japan, he was a little bummed that he had to stay here but it's with you so he will manage

• Sae is a true gentleman, opens the door for you, pulls you out a chair, compliments you and pays for the meal

• If someone happens to see you two outside on a date tho, rumours will start immediately. But he couldn't give two shits tbh

• He would enjoy listening to your interests, Sae loves watching that spark light up in your eyes he knows the feeling of happiness that rushes through you when you talk about your interests.

• If they do happen to ask him about you on some press conferences he would just say: "Yes I'm currently dating someone, I don't get how is that related to my career."

• After your date, he would drive/walk you home and kiss you on your forehead. And when he comes back home he would have to fight the urge of buying some tickets for a foreign country to take you on your next date.

Rin Itoshi

• Like his brother, Rin seems very cold and calculated. So you have to be super interesting to catch his fancy

• Rin is introverted, so he wouldn't like to go out to some fancy restaurant. So he would take you out to the movies! He enjoys horror films so I feel like he would pick out a really good one

• After movies you guys would get ice cream and walk around, talking about anything and everything

• He would complain about all the lukewarm people he met in blue lock. And he would offer an ear to your complaints.

• He is so cute I swear, Rin is trying so hard to hide the smile that is stubbornly trying to show on his face. He doesn't want to blow his "cool guy" persona yet.

• He would walk you home and you would walk you home, but you would have to be one to initiate something. He wants to hug you, but the poor boy is just super embarrassed.

• When you hug him, or kiss him on the cheek. You can definitely see the red color creeping on his ears. When you two finally part your ways. Rin is letting that simle show, just this time it's much bigger and the pink dusting his cheeks is much more visible. But when he gets back home he puts on his cold facade

• He is not into PDA, so on your next date I feel like you two would walk around with your pinkies intertwined

Nagi Seishiro

• This one is a given, Nagi would totally take you out on an arcade date! He could effortlessly impress you, plus who doesn't love arcades?

• You two would play few intense rounds of air hockey. After the fifth time that you lost he let you win one round, just to see you jump around in victory

• After that you guys played some co op games, Mario Bros, Bubble Bobble and other classic

• Your small rivalry will continue as you guys start playing vs games like Street Fighter, Tekken and Mortal Kombat if you main Kitana you are immediately attractive idc again he will let you win just to see that cute smile on your face

• Please if you have the willpower make him play Taiko or DDR. At first he would be hesitant, because he thinks that it would require so much effort but if you bat your eyelashes he might just fall for your trap

• What can he say it's hard to resist when it comes to you. Surprisingly he is really good at Taiko, which of course earned a compliment from you "You should consider becoming a drummer." please just imagine drummer!Nagi what a concept

• Nagi saw you eyeing one of the toys in the claw machine and he just had to jump at the opportunity. So here you were with two milkshakes in your hands cheering Nagi on

• It took him a while but he got it in the end! He knows that you will treasure it, and the huge smile on your face was totally worth it

• You two walk to your house hand in hand and talk about all the games that you played you leave him with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to beat him fair and square next time

Reo Mikage

• This guy goes all out, like it's unreal how much effort he put in. The second you agreed to go out on a date with him he started planning everything out to the smallest detail

• A limo was waiting outside for you, I mean he did tell you to wear something nice, but you didn't expect this much

• He bought you flowers, he went as far as renting out the whole restaurant. Which is one of the most expensive in town.

• At first you felt kinda awkward, I mean isn't he going a bit too far? He probably spent a lot of money on this. But he reassured you that you deserve to be spoiled

• After some time you get much more comfortable, and you stop caring. You don't feel uncomfortable and out of place because Reo is there, and that's the only thing that matters

• After a very nice dinner made by the best cook in the country. You guys went on top of a tall building and just talked your hearts out, admiring the beautiful navy sky

• The limo took you guys back to your place and you were standing on your doorstep hoping that Reo would do something and he did!

• He kissed you! And you had to hold in a scream of happiness, after he left you ran into your room to let out that happiness by screaming into your pillow

Chigiri Hyoma

• Okay, you two would go on a study date! He feels like that's the best option, it's lowkey and he wouldn't feel as stressed to actually ask you out

• But just because the date seems casual, it doesn't mean he didn't carefully chose the location you two would go to. He checked all the local cafés and what food and drinks they serve

• He would choose the most beautiful café, a beautiful slow melody is bouncing around the room. The whole café was decorated with wood and plants, making it look like a whimsical forest

• You two ordered tea and got two Strawberry Shortcakes, Chigiri and you opened your books, you guys talked a bit about the harder subjects you have to get to eventually

• But as the conversation started to flow, you two kinda forgot about the pile of books you had on the table

• You talked about your favorite writers, and other hobbies you share, the tea was great and so was the Shortcake

• After a long talk, it was time to part your ways. Chigiri walked you home, and you guys just couldn't stop talking about everything and anything

• You didn't want to go and neither did he, so he immediately asked you out on a another date, and of course you were so excited

• When he left he just couldn't stop thinking about you, so he called you and the two of you talked for so long.

• Both of you couldn't wait to see each other again

Kunigami Rensuke

• The two of you would go to an amusement park! Eating delicious, colourful cotton candy as you guys talked about all the ride you want to go on

• Kunigami would win so many games, you would have so many stuffed animals by the end of it

• Like his hands were full and you were carrying two stuffed bears each settled into your hands

• You guys would ride the fastest, highest roller coasters. But if you are afraid of heights, that's okay too. There is a lot of other fun rides and games you can try

• You would go on the teacups and you would ride a carousel giggling like little children throughout all of it

• Kunigami suggested that you should visit the Haunted mansion, everything was fine at first, but then a second jump scare happened and then out of reflex Kunigami hit the poor worker in the head

• When the sun started to fall asleep and the sky splashed with orange gradients. The two of you went to a farriers wheel

• Walking home still laughing about the aftermath of the punch Kunigami accidentally landed and your hands full with the stuffed prizes, he asked you out on a next date

Isagi Yoichi

• Isagi took you out on a picnic! At first he was kinda hesitant to ask you out. He can get really insecure at times and you are just so perfect he thought you were way out of his league

• When you said yes, he was the happiest he ever felt it's the same feeling he gets when he scores a goal

• In an attempt to surprise Isagi, you decided to make some sandwiches

• Isagi had the same idea tho, so when you two met up, both of you were holding baskets full of food earning an angelic laugh from Isagi

• The field looked beautiful, it was filled with flowers and some kids were running around. The two of you sat on a blanket right under a blossoming cherry tree

• Munching on some sandwiches, you talked about anything and everything

• After you stuffed your faces with food, Isagi suggested that you two play football. And you eagerly agreed

• Sure, maybe you aren't the best football player. But seeing the spark that is dancing in his eyes is totally worth running around trying to kick a ball

• To your surprise, you played football for hours laughing and playfully bickering

• And everything was fine until the rain began to fall. Quickly starting to pack your things up, Isagi looked for the shelter

• The two of you ran to safety, never dropping your smiles, your hair and clothes totally wet by now

• Your house was closer so that's where you went. You begged Isagi to stay until the rain stopped. And he oh was he embarrassed, he's never been in a girl's room and now here he is. Changing into some clothes you had laying around while you were making tea for the both of you

• After some time passed, Isagi finally got comfortable and you laughed the whole situation off

• When the rain stopped, it was time for him to go even though you didn't want him to

• He thanked you for the stuff you lent him. Promising to return them on the next date

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thewincestgospel · 3 years

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Wincest and J2 High School Fics

2028 AD by inlustwithsammy

It's in 2028. Sam and Dean got reincarnated and they have no idea who they were in their past lives. They live a normal life as high school students. They grew up as best friends who live close to each other. Dean is still a playboy. Sam is still a nerd. Some things never change.

a first time for everything by riyku In which Jared announces that his family is moving, and Jensen suddenly becomes very concerned with time.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" by gothpandaotaku

Sam Winchester, the jaded new kid at school. Dean Winchester, the school badass who rides a motorcycle to school every morning. When they collide, sparks fly- the wrong kind. It's hate at first sight. But over time they find they have a lot more in common than they thought...

All The Other Kids by AureaMediocritas Dean and Sam roll into another high school. The first weeks through five students' eyes.

Baby Steps by cherie_morte AU: Jared is nine years old when his mom marries Jensen's dad.

The Ballad of the Invisible Boy by dollylux This is a story of adolescence. This is a love letter for the slow burn, for Led Zeppelin, for the 90s. This is the first of two sets of stories about how Sam and Dean didn’t fall in love. They never had to. It was always there, this desperation between them, like a real, breathing thing. When they came together, it was inevitable. As sure as continents colliding, as the phases of the moon and the life and death of stars. This isn’t a love story, but it’s a story of love.SeriesPart 1 of Invisible Boy.

Becoming What We Pretend To Be by locknkey In a fit of pique Sam brags to his high school friends that he can get Dean as his boyfriend. Dean's never been able to say no to Sam. Pretense is a slippery-slope when you're romancing your brother and it's all too easy to for the lines between what's real and what's fake to become blurred.

Bend and Break by Winmance If Jared had to describe his life, he would say that his life is lonely. Between the bullying and his parents lack of interest, the only true joy he has is Jensen, the baseball player with who he's having sex. But everybody has a limit and Jared is about to find out his own.

Best Birthday Ever by ballsdeepinwinchesters prompted for: w[ee]cestiel + bottom!Sam For Sam’s sixteenth birthday, he only asked for one thing. He didn’t want a car, or money, or even a dog (Dean hates dogs). All Sam wanted was to get f***** by Dean and his friend, Cas.

Bitchface No.5 by bookworm1805 There's a new kid in school and Sam is being a bitch, but Dean doesn't see how the two things are related.5 stars

The Craziest Thing by thefourofswords Sam and Dean find themselves de-aged back to 18. The only solution anybody seems to have is to go back to high school.

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn't get along with his distant, distracted father, he's figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he's a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who's taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Flagstaff by Linden John tracked Sam down in Flagstaff, four days after he got home to find him gone.

Go, Dean... by orphan_account Prompt: Teenage Dean joining the football team and Sammy cheering him in the stands, Dean calling him his little cheerleader and making him wear the outfit while he rides his big brother... How's that for enduring football?

“Thought you wanted to be my little cheerleader, Sammy,' Dean said, tossing the gathered supplies onto the bed and crawling back between Sam’s legs. His lips sealed themselves to Sam’s, and he kissed him breathlessly. 'Loved watching you bounce up and down out on the field, everyone watching you, wishing you were theirs.'”

Good as New by sixtysevenlmpala When an asshole at Dean and Sam's high school breaks Dean's amulet, he doesn't react well. But as always, Sam's there to make it better.

Hope You Don't Mind by compo67 Jared has no problems being an introvert in a family of extroverted women. He enjoys his alone time as a freshman in high school... that is until signs for prom start showing up. With both his sisters going, he begins to wonder if maybe his time alone is a little lonely.

I'll Give You What You Like by soulmatecest Jared is, by all means, the worst cheerleader in the world.He absolutely fucking sucks; Jensen’s not even sure how he made it to the cheer squad and why would anyone take a look to his really bad dancing moves and still think ‘oh yeah, we definitely need to get some of that for the team.’Jared is honestly a disaster at this.And yet, Jensen has done pretty much nothing apart from staring at him most of the game as Jared dances terribly in a short skirt. Because even if Jared sucks, he’s also the most beautiful omega Jensen has ever seen.

The Jock and The Nerd by JuniperLemon Unrelated Wincest High School AU. Sam and Dean go to the same school. Dean asks the school nerd, Sam, on a date. Little do they know that it'll lead to so much more. Is there more behind Sam than what meets the eye and how will John react to Dean's bisexuality?

Kiss Me by lotrspnfangirl Worst case scenario: Jensen would be freaked out and spend the next three weeks until graduation, completely avoiding Jared and not speaking to him. And as much as that would hurt… It was only a dollar to get a kiss from Jensen at the kissing booth.

Little Pieces by compo67 Jensen the Bad Influence is better known as the town hellraiser. He stays out late, skips class, and takes bets on chess games after school. His partner in crime happens to be Jared, raised in a strict Catholic-Protestant household, and reigning chess champion. Together, they've skimmed five hundred dollars from their classmates with no end in sight.If they can survive high school, conquering the rest of the world must be a piece of cake.It just happens that the world has something else in store for them--something no one planned for in a million years.

Mr High School by kinkylittlered This is for a bingo competition on livejournal. Each chapter has prompts. AU Sam is a popular boy in high school and Dean is an invisible boy who is coming to terms with his sexuality. Each chapter will have different warning, eventually leading to slash

Putting On A Show by BewareTheIdes15 Lightning fast Dean's grin slants into sly and Sam's stomach lurches hard enough that his lungs get jealous and jump in on the action. Without so much as a glance in Sam’s direction for approval, Dean lifts one shoulder and says, "I'll make out with Sam."

Say the Words by dollylux A new boy rolls into town, and Jensen Notices. (And... his girlfriend notices him noticing.)

Touch and Go by versaillesatnight Dean Winchester doesn’t date. He fucks around, sure, but the whole dating thing? He’s never seen the appeal. Enter Sam.

Verses Like Yours and Mine by rivers_bend Sam and Dean are regular brothers--no hunting, no demons--who fall in love anyway.

White Knight by echoes_of_another_life Jensen is a senior and protects shy freshman Jared, who is being bullied.

Worth It by saltandbyrne Turns out the only thing more uncomfortable than sitting through class with a half-woody and a pair of panties wedged up your ass is doing it while your panties are soaking wet from your brother's mouth.(Sam is 14).

You Didn't Listen When You Went To School by Posse Magnet (rhink_is_my_kink) The kids at school know the new Winchester brothers are different. Everything about them is strange. From the way Dean effortlessly completes any physical challenge that gym class can throw at him without even breaking a sweat. To the way Sam is the smartest kid in all his classes, even though he's a freshman, and all his classes are college-level and full of seniors. But the most peculiar thing about the Winchesters, the thing that everyone notices: the way they come tumbling out of empty classrooms, closets, bathroom stalls, untidy hair, messy clothes, cheeks flushed with a color that’s almost as intense as the color of their lips.

you're a real f*ing page-turner by grace_fully Jared's days pretty much all run together, one big muddy mess of emotional turmoil and confusion and shitty friends and shittier classes. not to mention that his best friend is equal parts awesome and a complete jerk, his little sister is also kind of a jerk, and he thinks privately that someday his books are going to be the only thing to stand by him in the end. luckily, life has a way of turning things around on him.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell by sonofabiscuit77 While the Winchesters are living in a small-town trailer park, sixteen year old Sam accidentally spies on his brother with an older man. The discovery triggers feelings in Sam that lead him and Dean down a path which will change their lives forever.

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Dean Winchester: Brandy

*Credit to the gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Fem!Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Drinking, drunk texting, bad dancing, having to rescue Dean, Friends to loversish, Believing in destiny kinda.

Summary: Dean spends the whole night at the bar, tryin' every bottled drink. Ends up drunk texting Y/n and being completely honest with her

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: (Based on the song Wine, Beers, Whiskey by Little Big Town)

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

I sat at the bar of the old bar. It reminded me of Harvelle's. The old smell, the plaid-up men and women that I noticed came walking in through that door.

It was amazing. I was a drinker, always had been. The first drink I had with my dad, I was fifteen. A beer we shared, that should be an amazing moment for father and son, but it was ruined for the simple fact that we had no home, and my father and instructed me to take care of my younger brother.

I grew up, mostly without my father after that. He prioritizes hunting and saving people over me, and over his youngest son. Everything was always secrets. So many secrets, that it's started to become how Sam and I live.

There were certain things that I had learned from my father. How to protect, how to be anger almost all of the time, and how to handle my liquor.

So I sat at the bar, my hand around an iced cold glass of beer. I sipped and watched people. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with any. I mean yeah sure there was probably someone out there that was meant for me, but that's getting into destiny shit.

You know how bars, almost always have music playing. Well being in the good old state of Kansas, so pretty much any place you walk into is playing music more specifically country music.

It started to come through the speakers. I had already been here for what seemed like hours, I had enough beers, that I had switched to drinking something harder.

Something like a whiskey.

"My friend named Jack"

"He's got my back"

"He always seems to know right where I'm at"

Well, this is definitely a song I could get used to listening to. I don't think anybody else was listening. All having their own private conversations. The barmaid was a beautiful young lady, but even still with her crop top of a shirt and the cleavage that was burst out of her shirt.

I wasn't interested in her. Every time she'd come over. "You need anything else sweetheart." Bending halfway down to try and have me look down.

I waved her off. Maybe I should try something else. Waving her back over, I asked "Do you have something stronger?" she looked at me sideways, before saying "If it's something stronger than you want I've got you" and then she walked away.

When she returned with the rest of the bottle of Jose. A half left standing in the clear bottle. "Here's something stronger, forty percent." She said taking my empty beer bottle and empty cup that had been holding the recently downed Jack Daniels.

"My friend Jose"

"He likes to play"

"He's always up for anything I say"

I downed the rest of the bottle, not even needing the new glass she had bought for me to use. Slamming the bottle down on the countertop. She snapped her head around, our eye making contact before she grabbed something off the shelf.

"If that's the type of night you're having you should have said." She said handing me a half empty glass of crown apple. "Thanks, I can handle my liquor so no need to worry about me," I said as she left to take care of other people sitting at the bar.

I sat alone. Like I always have, it was the best way to number one people watch, but it also gave me a reason to think. Nobody trying to pull my belt out of my jean loops. No need to save someone this was my safe haven sometimes.

Alcohol was my safe haven. It's always been that way. It's always been able to understand me ten times more than Sammy. Well I mean there was always Y/n, she lived with us, but she was my friend, my best friends. There is something that she just doesn't need to know.

I took a swig, drinking down most of the bottle.

"Little bit of red, lotta bit of crown"

"Don't matter what it is"

"I'm gonna drink it down, down, down"

Was it just me or was this song getting better by the second. Maybe, It was just me. I looked around me, couples stood dancing to this song, some sat with clasped hands. And the older men sat at the bar, I was an older man sitting at bar watching like a creep.

"The wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"Are the only things that fix me"

"I'm not saying it's a problem"

"I can stop it if I wanna"

"But the wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"They always get me"

Wow, I'm started to get the idea that I can relate to this song. The lyrics are right you know. Liquor is the only thing that can fix me, calms me down and then I sleep it off. It's right the lyrics I can stop if I wanna. But do I really wanna stop?

"Here," The young lady said, handing me a made drink "Here's a gin and tonic." Walking away yet again to take care of other patrons. A gin and tonic, not a drink I was every ballses enough to try.

Taking the little green umbrella out, I took my first sip. "Shit that's actually really good," I said more to myself than anyone else. I looked up from my gin and tonic drink, looking at the glass wall.

It held so many drinks that I hadn't heard of before. Like a new drink called "Screwball", "Kingfisher". Odd brand names but they all looked like awesome drinks. But of course, there was the regular drinks, the brandy, sherry which is a wine, and Jim Beam

"My friend named Gin"

"She's got some friends"

"I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim"

"Hey, so it sorta looks like we're going along with the song, so I'll grab you a shot of rum, Captain." She said pulling a tiny shot glass out and pulling the bottle off of the shelf.

She slides the small glass across the table, I caught some rum tipping out and falling over my thumb. 'I wonder what Y/n would do if she was here with me? I wonder if I would have her pushed up against the wall, kissing down her neck.'

Shaking my head; stop thinking of her that she... She doesn't think of you in the same way, you are an idiot. Taking my rum-filled shot quickly. I pulled out my phone.

'Don't do what you're about to do'

"I'll be fine," I said to myself. The room was starting to spin. Or maybe I was just spinning. 'Stop thinking about Y/n. She doesn't need to deal with your drunk ass' "Oh come on I'm not that drunk" I was still sitting at the bar, but people were starting to look at me.

>Y/n, you know I've just gotta say. YOu're beautiful.

Dots played at the bottom of my screen.

>Dean that's very nice.

Minutes pass, so I send another message.

>You know I think I'm falling.

Immediate answers came

>Falling?? What do you mean?

>Winchester? Where are you?

She asked, she only ever called me Winchester when she was pissed off, but I was too worried about telling her the truth.

>Y/n, I've spent the past forever fawning over you. I spent it, wanting, yearning for you. I guess after years of wanting you, years after having nobody in my bed. Wishing and hoping that it was you.

>Dean send me your current loca!

>We can talk more tomorrow

I was able to send her my location, she pulled up in a rather crappy car. Walking in distress, her black night shorts, a pair of slippers on, and my red and black plaid shirt on.

She came over, apologizing grabbing my arm, and wrapping it over her head. "Dean, let's go, now," she said dragging me out. "You smell so good Y/n," I said going to pet her hair. She rested me up against the side of the baby.

"Where are your keys, Dean?" She asked her voice starting to become more worrisome. "In my.." I stopped talking and just reached for her hand, shoving it into my jacket pocket. "Right here!" I said I let go of her wrist and she looked up at me.

She got me into the car, somehow. I rested my head against the back of the front seat. "I felt and heard the rumble of baby engine. "Dean, what were you doing?" I looked over at her. "I wanted a drink."

The rest of the drive was quiet, she helped me out of the car after shutting the loud engine off. The sound finally stops bouncing off the cinderblock walls. "Dean. Couch, bed, or table?" She asked.

"Couch, comfier," I said breathing in more of Y/n's scent. I've never been this close to her, for this long. she smelled like a garden of flowers and honey. she smelt of summer. She looked like summer half the time.

"Are you a god?" I blurted out. Her eyebrows creased, licking her lips. "No, Dean I'm not a god," Y/n said reaching around behind the couch and grabbing a blanket but not before untying my boots.

She tossed the blanket over my body and went to walk off. "Y/n?" I asked. "Yes, Dean." She said with a sigh. "Can you get me a water, so I can maybe explain myself?" I asked.

A pleading look on my face, the puppy dog eyes I had learned from Sam. "Fine Winchester, but you've five to explain yourself." She said stomping off into the kitchen, and back with a tall glass of ice water.

She stood next to me. "Can you sit? Please Y/n?" I begged. I sipped on the water, trying to regain any sort of control of myself. She sat crisscrossing her legs. Her exposed legs, my eyes drifted from her legs.

My eyes came back up to hers. "Start explaining Winchester, you've got four minutes." I shook my head, clasping my hands together. I cleared my throat.

"I've sat here for the past few years, wondering why everything seems weird. It's hard. y'know because that song was right in the bar. I don't want to be alone not anymore, I don't wanna watch the couple dances anymore, I wanna be one of the couples, that hold each other hands."

I said, looking at her. She broke our eye contact when she started to fidget with the bottom of my flannel. "You know that's my flannel?" I asked grabbing her hands.

"I want you, I want you in my bed. I want to drink with my girl. I want to love you because Y/n that's really the truth." I said, "I love you Y/n" We sat in silence for a few, "Y/n please say something?" Now I'm begging her, this entire night has been a fucking mess.

"What are you waiting for you dumb Winchester? Come kiss your girl." It only took a few moments for the words to click in my mind. I grabbed the back of her neck and she fell into my lap.

It wasn't like fireworks or lighting coming down. It just fit so well, it was more like finishing a puzzle, puzzle pieces just fitting together so well. A missing part of me found filled and always there for you.

"Dean? Y/n?" I heard Sam said and properly say "Nevermind." And leave. I felt Y/n's lips leave mine. Realizing that I needed air, my lungs burning but in a good way.

"That was something," I said, catching my breath. "That's was awesome!" Y/n said kissing chastely. "Did you hear Sam?" I asked her, she giggled she rolled her. "I bet he's in there going I just knew it," Y/n said. I laughed and hugged.

"My feet hurt, I think I may have blacked out and started dancing by myself," I said, flexing my socked toes. "You dancing!?" Y/n questioned, "Oh we've gotta go back to that bar and get that tape, for FBI reasons." Y/n said.

My mouth gaping open. She laughed more, and she started to have a few tears. "You know Y/n. I'll you back for that, now come on. You'll love the memory foam bed." I said, Whispering closing to Y/n's ear "It remembers you Y/n." My hand landing on her lower as we walked to my room.

Completed on: 05/12/2021

Posted on: 05/14/2021

Dean Winchester Tag List: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo @wonderfulworldofwinchester

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

Note

When they met Jake had a mop of hair (still looked cute) but then he got it cut and went from cute to HOT AF wonder what Amy’s reaction to that was 🤔🤔 or what her reaction to first time seeing him in a suit (suit Jake can step on me)

(gonna smush those together and add the awesome triple Ask part 2, "Amy realizing how hot Jake is early in their friendship like a moment of realization and then it won’t get out of her head)

also, Jake’s suit: like this

and Amy’s dress: like this but in blue

for your imagination pleasures :D

He was cute in a dorky kind of way, she had to admit even before she ever dared to think she might like him.

Well, she didn't exactly have to admit that to anyone, because no one really asked (except for Kylie, who only got a shrug and an eye roll when she inquired about her new co-workers). But she kind of admitted it to herself, whenever she caught a glimpse of his mop of hair bobbing past her desk with a new file, or leaning over her when they were discussing a new case. He was kinda cute.

Annoying and childish and boisterous and a pain to work with, but... in a cute way.

It made no difference to admit that, anyway. It didn't matter. They were co-workers, and that's it. She wasn't here to make friends - especially not with someone as wild and career-hobbling as him. She’d made that decision before she even came to the 99, and it wasn’t going to change.

-*-

He came in with no curls left at all six months into their working relationship, about a month after she’d also admitted to herself that maybe she wasn’t intentionally here to make friends, but had accidentally ended up with a strangely loyal one.

“Good, right?” He grinned at her with a proud double-pointer to his head, sitting or rather plonking down into his chair across from her while she tried to pry her eyes from him. She had been staring the whole way from the elevator to their desks, but maybe it wasn’t too late to hide that.

It was a bit harder to hide the blush that started at the top of her ears, but she cleared her throat quickly to pull his eyes away from that.

“That’s quite a change.”

“Yeah, Gina set me up with one of her stylist friends. Didn’t work out, but, uh, guess I got something out of it. Which is probably what she was planning for anyway.” He shrugged, answered with a resounding “Uh, duh!” from behind Amy before he stuck his tongue out at the childhood friend she was separating him from.

Something in her face twitched at the mention of another one of his dates - he seemed to be going on a lot of those, and he had no qualms telling everyone so, even though he never elaborated. Why it made her stomach drop a bit every time, she wasn’t quite so sure. Probably because it was so unprofessional to discuss at work, and she was already toeing the line too much joining in with some of his jokes and pranks. He swore McGinley didn’t give a damn, but she was sure she’d seen their captain’s disapproving stare through the half open blinds the last two times Jake had pulled her up from her desk for something definitely not police-related.

Jake was still low-key squabbling with Gina over her head, so she could slip out of that conversation easily, focus on the files she was working on before he came in looking like that, disrupting her… everything.

“It looks good.” She said instead, cursing herself for opening her mouth the second it closed again, but continuing. “Frames your face much better.”

The infighting stopped, and she could feel Gina’s stare burn into the back of her head. But far more pressing was the look Jake was giving her now, a short blink of… surprise, maybe, before his face broke out into a grin that wasn’t half as goading or over-the-top as usual.

“Uh, I, mh, thanks.” He mumbled, quickly staring down at the files he’d left open yesterday before he left, and she almost thought she could see a blush on the tip of his ears now, finally visible without being hidden underneath all that hair.

But that was surely just her imagination.

-*-

A very overactive imagination, she sighs as she stands in the copier room. An imagination that couldn’t stop staring at him throughout the day, at the way his profile had changed so much now without those curls always in the way, at the short hairs on the back of his neck, her fingers itching to run through them to find out if they’d feel soft or bristly. An imagination that refused to go back to the simple description of ‘cute’.

“I see you, Santiago.” A terrifying voice behind her interrupts her, and she’s glad her files are already in the copier so she can’t throw them at Gina in shock as she turns around to face her.

“What?”

“I see you, staring at my boy.” Gina points two fingers from her eyes into Amy’s direction, a grin breaking out on her face that almost rivals the ‘boy’ she’s talking about. “Getting the hots for the class clown? Gonna go smoochtown on my little bro?”

“As if.” Amy scoffs, maybe a bit too loudly, shaking her head a bit too much. “We’re talking about the same guy here? The one who claims that jelly beans have 4 calories each, so eating 500 a day should fulfil his caloric needs?”

“Uhu.” Gina seems bored now, which is not unusual for her whenever she’s talking to Amy, staring at her fingernails instead. “Keep trying to delude yourself with those negatives, poor girl. Just channel all that unfulfilled desire into some boring paperwork. I’ll be waiting for the day you snap and tear his clothes off right at his desk, so I can be out sick that day and not have to witness it.”

“I’m not going to-” Amy tries to protest, but Gina has already hopped out of the room, her hair bouncing behind her as she gives a wave and leaves her behind with a growl.

She’s not. She’s not going to do anything. There’s nothing to do something about. There- it’s- he’s-

She’s allowed to think someone looks attractive without immediately devolving into sexual thoughts or interest. She can think one of her friends is good-looking without making that weird. She can… she can admit that Jake is her friend and that Jake is attractive and it doesn’t change anything.

It doesn’t.

-*-

They’re all standing in front of the precinct, half shivering because of the wind swiping through their legs, and Amy curses whoever’s idea it was to meet up there instead of straight at the NYPD party two blocks down. We’re supposed to show a unified front as a squad, she remembers Terry saying, arriving together will help with that.

Well, they apparently won’t even start off together, because they’ve been waiting for Jake - of course, who else? - for close to 15 minutes now, and none of their messages were even answered. (Amy duly noted that hers were actually the only ones signed off with a ‘read’ notification, but she couldn’t think too much about that now, not while she was freezing in a dress she was still worried might be too low cut for a work event, even while Rosa next to her was sporting the most amazing little black dress she’d ever seen.)

“I swear to god, if Peralta isn’t here in 5 minutes, I’ll-” Terry is interrupted in his rant by a far too familiar voice sprinting at them.

“I’m here! I’m here.” Jake coughs a little as he comes to a stop and leans forward, hands on his knees, before standing up with a wide grin as if nothing happened. “I’m here! Let’s go! What are we waiting for?!”

Terry gives him the most dead-set stare he can muster before the group starts moving, all eager to finally get to a place that not only offers free drinks and food, but also heating.

Amy falls back a few steps, fighting with some uncomfortable heels she also should’ve rethought as much as her dress, and finds herself next to Jake, who’s apparently still trying to catch his breath from his run to the precinct. At least that’d explain the little gasp and baited breath as she bonks against him in her next stumble, and finds she’d rather like to stay there - on account of him being warm, of course.

“Geez, Santiago.” His arm wraps around her, suddenly, an even warmer hand rubbing up and down the thin sleeves of the stylish yet impractical soft coat she’d picked. “If you know you run cold all the time, why don’t you bundle up for the weather?”

Because bundling up doesn’t look good, she thinks with a sigh. Bundling up doesn’t leave an impression with the captains at that party. And because, maybe, Kylie had been a little too convincing about her online shopping cart after two glasses of wine each and clicked Buy before Amy could stop her.

“I wasn’t exactly expecting to spend more than 5 minutes out in the cold today, but we had to wait twice that for you.” She bites back instead, and hates herself for it, because it makes his wonderfully warm arm drop from her side almost immediately.

“Sorry.” He mumbles while staring at the ground. “Hey, you want my coat? It’s fresh dry-cleaned, I promise.”

“I didn’t know you even owned anything but that leatherjacket and at least twenty similar hoodies.”

“Yeah, it’s my grown-up nice jacket I only wear for special events.” He decides to ignore her dig, stroking down the soft grey wool with a strangely proud grin before unbuttoning it. “Here, put it on. Pre-warmed.”

She can’t protest anymore before he slips it over her shoulders, and it is incredibly warm and soft, but that’s not what freezes her mind entirely.

Jake’s in a suit. That much was to be expected, considering the event they were going to specifically asked for it, but it only now dawns on her that she’s never seen him in a suit before, not accounting for his dress blues. And what a suit. It’s dark green, emerald, she thinks it’s called, a colour that works perfect with his light brown curls (slightly grown out again), and there’s- there’s a waistcoat involved, and a pocket square, a navy blue coloured pocket square, and she realises it’s the exact same shade of blue as her dress, and her mind can’t even focus on how the cut of his suit seems perfectly tailored around his waist while thinking about that, until Charles’ wolf-whistle pulls her out of her fugue.

“Hot damn, Peralta.” Terry nods next to him. “Didn’t expect you to make the effort, to be honest.”

“Gina has this friend who works at a tailor.” He coughs, and yes, there is definitely a blush on his ears now. “Plays himself as a bit of a stylist, but I think he went overboard.”

Charles “Nuh-uh!” mixes with Rosa’s “Why does Gina keep trying to hook you up with horrible people”, and almost overshadows Amy’s “Do you make any fashion choices that aren’t basically Gina-led?”

“Because she’s Gina.” Jake shrugs and seems to answer both Amy and Rosa with that, staunchly ignoring Charles for the moment, which is probably his best bet.

Amy wants to shoot something back, anything, to keep her mind off of that suit and her eyes from staring, but she can’t. She’s glad she has to look forward as they move on, though, focusing more on not stumbling on the uneven pavement with Jake’s warm, heavy coat over her shoulders.

So he looks good in a suit. That’s fine. He cleans up well. Lots of men do. Terry is wearing a nice suit, too. So’s Charles, she has to admit.

But neither of them pull at the seams of her mind like his does. Neither of them makes her wonder how it feels to let her hands slide down his lapels, maybe grab them midway and pull him forward-

The two block walk is far too short to cool her down again, especially with that cursed warm jacket around her, smelling so much like him and his unusual cologne that he’s definitely never worn to work before, but that will be burned into her nose for a while now.

-*-

He helps her slip both his and her jacket off at the coat check, and there seems to be a short moment where he almost drops hers as she turns around again, his eyes rushing up and down her wrap dress, sporting a cleavage and a high slit that really can only be explained by two glasses of wine and Kylie. At least the sleeves are long enough to not make her freeze anymore now that she’s inside.

“Wow.” He mumbles even as she begins pulling at said sleeves, adjusting the collar that already feels like it’s dropped too far.

“I know, it’s too much, my friend-”

“Too much?!” He interrupts with a stare. “Ames, you look-” He seems to be grasping for something to say, and she can see a flash of a lot of words across his mind before he stares at the ground again for a second to find himself. “Good. You look really good.”

She smiles as her eyes drop to the ground as well.

“Thanks. You look good, too.”

He snorts, before lifting his arm in an inviting gesture, and she doesn’t want to rethink it too much as she slips her arm into the hook of his elbow.

“Well, let’s go look good together then.” He says, and yep, she’s definitely rethinking all of that. For the whole evening. Every time he catches her eyes - she’s not staring, she’s not - and smiles at her. The first time he points to his pocket square, mouthing We match! with almost childlike glee in his eyes. The following five times he does it. Even the one time Charles points it out as they find each other in their little group again, met with a round of sighs and a disgruntled “No, Charles” from Jake himself.

She thinks about it - and about him, and that suit - when he picks up their coats, both swaying and giggling just a little from the free champagne.

And then she thinks about something a bit more, when he slips his jacket over her shoulders immediately, his hands gliding over her bare neck for just a second, the scent of his cologne from the collar only strengthened by the scent of him right behind her.

So he’s cute. So he’s attractive. So he looks amazing in a suit.

So she might be a little bit attracted to all that.

It still didn’t change anything.

-*-

what r u wearing 2 NYPD party, he texts her a year later, and she crinkles her nose at his appalling writing.

You know how to write proper English, I’ve seen your reports. She texts back, and then… Why do you want to know?

Thought it would be fun to match again. comes the well-written answer, and she stares at it for a good ten minutes before finally answering.

Green chiffon.

She was going to change her mind about that dress Kylie helped her pick again, but she won’t. Not now.

-*-

What r you gonna wear babeeeee, he pesters her with the 5th message about it in as many days, ever since she sent him the reservations info for their first anniversary dinner.

I told you it’s going to be a surprise.

Not fair! How am I supposed to match?! She grins as she reads it.

Won’t look good on you if you can’t figure that out, detective.

-*-

“I knew it!”, he grins at her wide at the bottom of her stairs as she descends in her navy blue wrap dress, glad it still fits after years in her closet.

“Easy enough for you to say. You probably have a whole colour range of pocket squares ready.”

“Nuh-uh.” He shakes his head, reaching for her hand on the last step already, his other hand unbuttoning the same ‘grown-up nice jacket’ she knows so well by now. “Look?”

She lets out a happy laugh as she’s met with his emerald green suit jacket, a memory burned into her mind for probably forever.

She’s so glad he never changes.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #my writing #ficlet #fic

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