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born-to-eng-sub · 1 year

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2022.11.18 Seo Eunkwang Theatre+ Interview English Translation

Original Korean article here. Interviewer's questions in bold.

Please credit Born To Eng Sub if you post excerpts anywhere.

[COVER STORY] Never Ending Story: Actor Seo Eunkwang

As the leader of an idol group, as a vocalist who gets recognition, as a 10-year musical actor, Seo Eunkwang never treats any dream recklessly and shines today.

editor: Son Jeongeun; photographer: Kim Taewoo; stylist: Park Hyejeong, Jeon Sohyeon; Hair: Taehyeon (Mijangwon by Taehyeon); makeup: Hana (Mijangwon by Taehyeon)

In the defining number 'A Musical' from musical "Something Rotten," famous musical numbers are wittily melded together. You may wonder why we're bringing up a past work, but the start of this story was 2 years ago. Back then, in a video interview with Theatre Plus, we asked if there was a musical parodied in that number that Seo Eunkwang would want to participate in, and without hesitation he answered "Jesus Christ Superstar." "It would be so great if I could do that musical with Michael (Lee)," he said and in two years that has become reality.

The musical "Jesus Christ Superstar" was created fifty years ago by the musical world's virtuoso composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyricist Tim Rice. It interprets the story of the seven days before the death of Jesus from an unconventional perspective, and became a topic as it stood at the center of several controversies. It was a work so ahead of its time that even now, a long time later, you can still feel how unconventional it is. One wonders what kind of message it will throw to the audiences of 2022. We asked Seo Eunkwang, playing the role of Judas, to tell us about this work which is being performed again in Korea after 7 years.

You mentioned that your dream work was "Jesus Christ Superstar" in a number of interviews. How does it feel to have that dream come true?

Like I've said, this is one of the works I wanted to try doing the most, so it makes me want to do a really good job. While I've been doing musicals, I think this is the first one that's made me feel this much pressure. And the thing that adds even more pressure is that this is the 50th anniversary performance. It's even the first time it's been performed (in Korea) in 7 years. Since I know that so many people have so much interest, I'm working very hard to prepare. It's such an honor to be able to participate. I'm very happy.

You mentioned that your dream role was Jesus, but this time you ended up with the role of Judas.

I wondered what kind of feeling it would be to stand onstage as Jesus, and that kind of expectation led me to say I wanted to play Jesus. I'm still not good enough for that role, so I think I'll have to build up more years of experience first. And Judas is very impressive and has a lot of charm, so I'm really into him. The Judas numbers are very intense, so on one hand it's very difficult.

Like you said, this work has a reputation for having very difficult musical numbers. You're famous yourself for being good at singing, but it must feel very different to be engaged in this work.

Since the Judas numbers "Heaven on their Minds" and "Superstar" are so famous, a lot of people probably know them, but as I've actually been starting work on the show, there are also a lot of other difficult songs. I was shocked the first time I started practicing. The number "Judas' Death" which he sings just before dying is incredible. And besides that all the other songs are hard, too. Three or four songs are in the range of the top of the second octave, even playing into the third octave, which is just ridiculous for a male role. It makes me wonder what the composer was thinking when he composed them.

And also all the different Judas actors have interpreted the songs in their own different ways.

That's why practice was so hard. The work itself is very free. The melody line is set, but everyone has sung it with their own style. So after absorbing the sheet music, changing it to fit my own style was really extremely hard. It was my first time doing such a free work, so it was very new for me.

Recently on a livestream you showed yourself practicing "Heaven on their Minds." It was like getting a taste of Seo Eunkwang's Judas.

Now I'd like to delete the video. At the time, after practicing a few songs including Western ones, I started livestreaming because I wanted to show that, but I really regret showing this song in advance. Since I was just practicing, there were a lot of parts that were lacking. It's a relief that the fans like it, but next time I'll have to be more thorough.

Even though it was practice, that in itself makes you feel like it was lacking, I guess.

When singing, I want to show a perfect side of myself. Compared to the past, I've let go a lot. When I was young, I felt that way strongly, but lately I've thought that I wanted to show my growth through even the imperfect side of myself. That's why I showed myself practicing, but afterwards as time has gone on I've felt regretful about it. "I could have done it better," I think.

There are a lot of videos where your fellow BTOB member and musical theater actor Lee Changsub sings the number "Gethsemane." It makes me wonder if the two of you might do this work together someday.

We tend to sing for fun, and we both really like that song. If someday Changsub could play Judas and I could play Jesus and we could stand on stage together, that would be a dream come true. Wow, just imagining it is amazing.

Judas is a person who's remembered as a betrayer. But in this work, he's drawn as a revolutionary, which became a hot topic.

I also only knew Judas as a betrayer. But while preparing for this work, the other day I asked my mom while we were eating. My mom is an elder and is very devout. I asked, "What do you think about Judas?" and what she told me is very similar to how I'm interpreting Judas now. Most people think of him as a betrayer, but how much must he have worried and thought over his decision up until he sold Jesus out, and what kinds of thoughts must he have had when he heard Jesus predict that he would betray him. She told me that must not have been an easy decision, and that put part of my mind at ease. I thought that I could express Judas as much as I wanted and the people watching would fully accept that. I had a lot of worries, but thanks to that I became a bit freer.

What kinds of things were you worrying about?

The hardest part was that the character of Judas isn't explained very well. In the Bible, he's mostly portrayed as a traitor, so most of the audience will come in with only that background for him. You can't help but come in with those biases. But within this work, rather than being a betrayer, he loves Jesus so much and reveals his own beliefs so strongly, and those beliefs are so clear. So my homework was to portray that well. Also my own image tends to be strongly of someone very bright and happy, on top of my build being on the small side, so I worried about how best to capture the character in order to explain him well.

In the role of Jesus, actors Michael Lee and Im Taegyeong have returned. What is the difference between the two Jesuses?

We're still in the practice stage, but I feel like Michael Lee sunbaenim's Jesus feels more like a friend. He mentioned that this season he wanted to show a more human side. So when we practice, I feel those parts and there's a closeness to it. I think Im Taegyeong sunbaenim's Jesus feels a little more divine. Rather than a friend, he feels like a teacher or a father.

It's been 50 years since this work was shown to the world for the first time. Yet the modifier of "unconventional" always seems to follow it even now.

Actually, I had never seen this musical before, myself. It's being performed in Korea for the first time in 7 years, and there aren't a lot of videos. I had only heard of it indirectly, and the reviews of audiences who saw it in the past were quite cutting. People say it's very serious and can be very polarizing, and due to the fact that it's all sung-through people could get bored, and as a rock musical the songs can be unfamiliar. I was also very nervous when practices started, but everything was a lot more fun than I expected.

In particular, I think there are a lot of reviews that say it can be polarizing.

I saw a lot of those reviews, too. But when it actually came down to doing it, it was very fun. Is that because I'm on the "liking it" side of the polarizing divide? (laughs)

Then please appeal to the audiences and tell them why you ended up liking it.

First of all, the development is very clear so the storyline progresses well on its own. The musical numbers are very convincing, as well. Seeing Jesus' more human side is very fresh and shocking, so it's not boring and has a lot of new charm to it. At first when people I knew told me they were going to see this musical, I, too, responded by saying "It's so polarizing, and it can be unfamiliar because it's sung-through." But now I say "Guys, this is so fun! You can expect good things from it," to people. It's a work that's snappy and full of charm.

Have you ever felt, like your character, that you are being led by a fate you can't refuse?

With my personality, I tend to accept things rather than try to refuse them. Even when I'm exhausted, I tend to think that if I can just get through this time then things will get better later. So I don't think I've had very many times when I feel like things are so hard that I break down. I live happily and enjoyably. I like living.

Just because you say you're happy, I'm sure you've still had hard times. How do you get through those times?

Of course I have hard times, too. When that happens, I try to work things out in a good direction, and I think that someday things will get better.

You must have what they call a good mentality about things.

I do think that I do. I've never doubted it.

This year BTOB reached their 10th anniversary. And you're also in your tenth year of doing musicals.

My debut in the group and my debut in musicals were just about a year apart. I've been doing musicals since I was 23, and back then there were a lot of things that were hard. Because I was young and an idol, I got a lot of various attention, and because of that I felt a lot of pressure to do a better job. Now I'm finally in the hyung line! [Someone with relatively more experience who is relatively older.] As I've been consistently working, now there are more people junior to me, so I'm a lot more comfortable now. I've always been the style to be less reserved with people younger than me. And now that I can work again with actors and staff I've already worked with, the practice room has also become more comfortable and I feel like I can try doing more new things.

When you look back, what is the most memorable period for you?

The thing that comes to mind the most is the practice room for my first musical, "Monte Cristo." I remember being so nervous I was shaking like a leaf. Back then I played Albert and Im Taegyeong sunbaenim played the Monte Cristo role with me, so I was so happy to see him again this time. It had been a long time, but I was so thankful that he greeted me so happily.

You've been consistently appearing on the musical stage. What kinds of charms do musicals have that they keep leading you to the stage?

I think the best thing is that through a musical work, you can live as various different people. I don't think I could really perceive it clearly until now, but this time thanks to this work I could strongly feel it. I thought "Wow, the works I've done up until now were really amazing." The thing that played the greatest part in leading me to realize that was Director Hong Seunghui, who is directing this time. The director always tells me to do things the way I want to, and asks me how I feel about each scene. The director tells me to follow my emotions and move the way I feel. I think I was able to immerse myself more in the role when I practiced because I was able to fully become Judas. So with this musical, I think I felt the good points of musicals even more.

So when you approach your character, what point do you start from?

Of course with each character you have to show a different side of yourself, but at first I work hard to find things that go well with me. When I look at myself, the nice way of saying it is that I have a strong identity, and the not-so-nice way of saying it is that I am a person who sticks out a lot. Because Seo Eunkwang is that kind of person, I think that if I only try to match things generally without melding more thoroughly, then I can't blend with the character well. So I try to find and bring out the most Seo Eunkwang-like parts of myself.

So then of the characters you've played so far, who was the most Seo Eunkwang-like one?

The character who fit me best was Nick Bottom from "Something Rotten." I barely had to add anything. I didn't need to immerse myself, he was just me so it was very easy. However, the tap dancing and other dancing, as well as the large amount of lines I had to memorize did make things harder, but when I think of the character it was so much fun. I think it might have been the only work I've done that was that comfortable for me.

With this work, you've achieved a dream of yours. What's your next goal?

I want to try something really shocking. Like Lola in "Kinky Boots."

You always have precise goals. And it seems like your goals are designed to challenge yourself.

I think you should always make goals for yourself. You need to have goals in order to prepare thoroughly and make progress. It's not just for musicals, I can only grow as a vocalist and singer when I make goals for myself, as well. And I always like a challenge. That's more fun, and I think I'm more proud of the result, as well.

Is that the reason that you appear on so many singing competition shows, too?

I went on a lot of them for that reason, but to tell the truth because of that I've been considering things a lot. I feel like I've been showing myself too much lately, and now maybe it's time to take a break for a bit. I asked my vocal teacher about these worries, but my teacher said "Eunkwang, you need to do these in order to grow." A person like me has to make goals and run towards them, as my teacher also knows. In order to even reach the general ballpark, I have to set clear goals and move towards them.

You're the kind of person who whips yourself into shape, I guess.

That's right, that's how I live. That can be my driving force. When I hear compliments, it feels nice, but it doesn't really help me to improve. So I also seek out negative comments. It lets me know what I need to work on. If it's not a helpful comment, I do pass it by, but for some negative comments I feel like if I can take them in, then I can make it so that I won't hear those comments anymore. I try to use them in a positive direction. When I do musicals, I look for a lot of audience reviews. I really look at everything. Be careful, everyone. (laughs)

You'll reach your 10th year anniversary of being a musical actor next year. What kind of musical actor do you want to be remembered as to audiences?

I want to be a truthful actor. An actor whose sincerity can be felt on every stage. And I want to continue to show my growth in the future. Of course I will continue to work hard and do my best. Since I'll continue to stand on stage and pour my heart into it, please continue to support me. And I'd like it if a lot of people could get good energy from me. As someone who is living through this time, I want to show that I'm living my life to the fullest. Let's all live the best we can.

#btob #seo eunkwang #eunkwang #kpop #musicals #jesus christ superstar #theatre plus #whew this ended up being pretty long but at least it's finished #please forgive any mistakes #gotta say it's a lot more comfortable translating longer texts on tumblr tho #if I do any more article translations they'll show up here #magazine article #article #born to eng sub #borntoengsub #korean magazine article translation #translation

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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jlf23tumble · 2 years

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Hey Jen, have u listened to the new interview yet? Louis so damn funny when he's being a Capricorn, the fact he chose to do nudes rather than tiktok is sending me 🤣. A hater for life indeed. His laugh tho after the OnlyFans talk, very angelic 🥵👀.

I did see it, and I loved it, the rancor over TikTok, he = me! The second I saw the title, though, I was like, lmao, let me guess what gets edited here, oh baby(gate) fandom, so predictable, so idiotic. But also? HE IS RIGHT, the way there's always gonna be the next big platform that celebs will be forced to use because it's current, I just wanna say, a) watch Girls5Eva to truly see how stupid it is, but also b), wow, is it horrific and sad IRL, lookin' at you, Florence Machine on TikTok).

#louis tomlinson #nobody asked but one of my fave things is seeing long-time larries #all pissy about dad louis #i genuinely don't understand why this is a talking point in promo #like bb way to self-own jesus christ #tell us more how you support closeted artists #but also? WHEW get ready for some lyricsTM about some 'heterosexual' love #some 'girlfriend' issues #without drawing too much heat #it makes a lot of cents #sorry you're too wrapped up in ao3 to see it

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theonlyadawong · 1 year

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crying sobbing throwing up... I'm listening to nick apostolides talk abt a.da and l.eons confrontation scene in 2 and the director told him to say, "tell me you love me" after every line in order to evoke the right emotions from the actors

#speakerphone!#thats also really good direction. AMAZING direction #and then ofc when they ran the scene he didnt say it but... whew #'tell me you love me'#good GOD #my knees are shaking #throwing up for real #i have many... complicated thought about a.eon... too many to list right now... but jesus christ #that does add a lot to their relationship #and i have to say so many people have this fantasy that the nice innocent good and pure white boy saved ada from a life of pure evil #and hes the reason her morals change #which is fucking weird (also mmmmmm it feels a bit misogynistic and also toes the line of being weirdly racist as well)#especially considering that she has a bigger impact on his life tbh #she doesnt bend over backwards for him the way he does for her #if shes helping him its because she wants something #very rarely is it just for him #which is fine! she literally doesnt need to be up his ass!#but yeah people always want to talk abt this fantasy where a.da is turning good JUST for l.eon and thats... not happening #she does good because she wants to. on her own terms.#she also saw the horrors of RC and they also affected her im sure. so acting like l.eon is the sole reason she does anything good irks me #anyways. not sure these tags have anything to do w the post but #who knows i might make a normal post abt this instead of rambling in the tags lol #ada posting #<mostly in the tags

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dameare · 8 months

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Personal Brand of Heater | Jacob Black x Fem!Reader (Oneshot)

Word count: 1,899

Summary: The first time I had kissed Jacob was entirely an accident. That was how I wanted to think about it, at least.

Silly notes: So... it was 4am... and it was cold, so at the time writing this made a lot of sense. Plus I was lonely and destructively pining for the one and only, Jacob Black. *hands you this fic* Enjoy!

The first time I had kissed Jacob was entirely an accident. That was how I wanted to think about it, at least.

Winter was just by the horizon, approaching with a certain quiet inevitability, and a blanket of darkness was beginning to unfurl itself across the landscape—and Forks, being the cold and sleepy town that it was, made the first hints of a wintry burden a lot more obvious.

So it was cold. And it was just that there was something about cuddling with Jacob in the middle of the night that did it for me. It made total sense: I was freezing, and Jacob was hot. Literally. Like my personal brand of heater. And maybe I also liked him a little bit. Or a little too much. Or maybe I was in-love. It was the only explanation, even though before what had happened I'd hardly given myself enough time to even name what I'd started to feel for Jake.

It sounded stupid at first, being in-love with Jake. There was no way. But the more I thought about it, the more convinced and horrified I became. That stupid fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever Jake looked at me. I'd thought about the way my chest sometimes felt like it was going to explode when he hugged me, or the way my stomach dropped and twisted at the thought of Jacob hugging a different woman that wasn’t me. God, I was in-love. Of course I was. But even that wasn’t reasonable enough to accidentally kiss him.

So when I had had the clever idea of hitting Jacob up to “hang out” at two in the morning and he didn’t reply, I'd assumed that would be the end of it, and that I would have to curl up in bed, alone and feverish from the chills the night brought.

But that wasn’t the case, and I had only realised this when Jacob was already launching himself through my second-story window and then into my room with a stealthy thud. The dumbass.

I looked at him, stunned. “Jake, what the hell?”

“Whew, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jacob said, a wide and pleasant grin of mockery spreading across his face—the one that made my stomach do the dumb flip thing. GAH. “I’m sure you don’t really mind.”

“I don’t,” I said automatically. I wasn't stunned at seeing him anymore, because he wasn’t wearing a shirt and I was stunned at something else instead. The pale moonlight sneaking in through my open window made his russet skin look richer. He looked ethereal. The dangerous kind of ethereal. “Do you ever get cold?” I asked dumbly, trying to shift my focus.

Jacob laughed. “Didn’t you already ask that before?”

“I did? Maybe I forgot.” And maybe I had also forgotten how to talk.

He opened his mouth, looking like he was about to crack a joke, but something made him change his expression. Instead, worry creased his forehead, and he inched closer to me.

He was huge, and he leaned over me, so huge that his shadow made my little room look darker. I was looking up at him, completely overwhelmed—my head was pounding and my chest was freaking out and the fever, which I had momentarily forgotten about ever since he came in, came hitting me again. I swayed unsteadily, legs going slightly limp. Jacob grabbed me easily by the waist. “Hey, hey. Is everything okay?” He whispered anxiously, slowly easing me towards the edge of the bed. “You’re shivering, why didn’t you tell me you were sick? Are you cold?”

I only managed to nod before my legs gave way, plopping into a weak heap on the bed.

His hand was really warm. “Jesus christ, you’re freezing. Don’t you have a heater somewhere?”

I shivered uselessly on the bed, delirious. He watched me for one long moment, hesitating. Then he snuck to my side and began settling down onto the bed, and before I could even begin to protest, his arms were already wrapped around me—one arm under my head and the other tightly snug around my waist. And then I wasn't protesting anymore.

I let my head rest against his bare chest. “You’re so warm,” I muttered, the words muffled out by his chest. The heat was so inviting, so comfortable that I didn’t want to pull away. Not that I could ever, even if I had the energy to. The warmth seeped into my skin, the icy grips of the night slowly melting away.

Jacob chuckled, pleased. “That better? Don’t move too much, alright. Save your energy for me. I’ll warm you up.”

“What about you?” I exhaled heavily. “You’re going to freeze.”

“Not really,” he promised. “Hey, say, why don’t you try sleeping? What’s kept you up this late?”

I thought for a second. "Hypothetically," I said, my mind gaining clarity. "If you weren't a werewolf anymore and you lived in the city, what's the first thing you'd do?"

I felt his chest stop at a chuckle, and then there was silence. When it dragged on for a moment too long, I tilted my head to look at his expression. He was staring into the distance, where I'd put up a bunch of city photos for my vision board. His eyes seemed to light up. "If I weren't a werewolf anymore," he mused. "I'd try out all the burgers in the city and check out what they sell in Walmart. I heard they sell weird stuff there... and then maybe I'd go shopping in one of those big malls... get a job... go to a university."

I snorted. "Wow okay, I understand the rest, but Walmart? Really?"

"Don't judge me," he met my eyes, suddenly defensive. He smiled playfully and pushed my hair out of my face. "Let's hear yours. If you decided to live in the city, away from... all of this. What would you do?"

There was hardly any need to think, because it was all I ever thought about during my first summer in Forks. And it was hardly even a summer, really, because it rained all the time and it was still cold even on the good days where the sun was slightly more visible. "I would live by myself in the city, in a small apartment. Like a normal person," I said, wincing at the last part, because all things considered, I thought the word *normal* just didn't exist in Forks anymore, and saying it felt like a major offense. He nodded, and I went on, "I would go to bookstores and those loud concerts... and then go for a late night drive after, you know? Just drive for hours without a destination. It kind of sounds nice. It's like surrendering all your worries for one night. I think that kind of freedom would make me feel lighter."

I watched his face. He laughed at first, saying, "Your answer makes mine look like child's play."

"I'd try out every burger with you, and go to every Walmart conceivable." I offered.

"You'd do that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He grinned. "Well, I'd carry your books for you, and I'd drive you across the city for as long as you want. Sounds fair?"

"So it's a promise." I smirked.

"Hah well, not that my being a werewolf can stop me from making you happy," he said. Then he tightened his grip just a bit and lifted me effortlessly, setting me on top of him. "Is this better?"

I hummed a yes, suddenly finding it very, very difficult to breathe. "You're... really warm," I sighed.

He smiled softly. It looked so much better up close, so much so that my stomach did that weird flippy thing again. "You said that earlier. Although," a sheen of mischief lit his eyes up, "if you want to feel warmer you could always just take your clothes off."

"Jacob," I warned, a smile threatening to break out of my face. "Shut up, will you?"

"Survival one-oh-one," he teased.

"Saying that isn't really a friends thing."

He raised one eyebrow, curious. "Oh so taking your clothes off is where you draw the line?"

"Like every sane person, ever, duh."

"Well, cuddling like this isn't really a friends thing either," he retorted.

My face flushed red. "What do you mean?"

"The way I hold you," he said quietly, with a sudden hint of seriousness to his voice. "Is this how friends are supposed to roll?" He asked, his face speculative.

I stayed quiet. I wasn't breathing again. It was the question, and maybe the way the gentle glow of the moon was casted upon his face. His eyes twinkled in the light, like pools of rich and velvety chocolate. He was sort of beautiful that I didn't want to breathe ever again. He stared right through me, watchful and interested. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, and our breaths mixed with how close our faces were. It was so warm and so right.

My gaze flickered from his eyes to his mouth, then back again. His mouth tugged up at one corner, as if he had the faintest idea of what I was thinking—and maybe, just maybe, he thought the same.

It was slow, but also quick in a weird way—not quick as in like something in the heat of the moment, but quick enough that I couldn't register what was happening, and slow enough for me to remember every single detail—slow enough for me to conclude that it really wasn't an accident.

His hand gently made its way to the small of my back. He rubbed gently, and I leaned in, our faces inching even closer; I could hear my heartbeat loud against my chest, so loud maybe he'd heard it too. But his eyes were fixed, mesmerised as I moved in. Our noses touched and he inched to the side, nudging forward with the tip of his chin; he glanced at my mouth, then flickered quickly back to my eyes.

There was a momentary pause where our faces both hovered, so close and mellow and sure, and I ached in anticipation. I stole one more glance at his mouth, and then I was sighing into the kiss, the aches and worries leaving my body. His lips were hot, and it scorched against mine, but god he was so gentle—like a gentle rush of air through leaves. The kiss stayed warm and slow, almost exploratory, but there was also a sliver of hunger shoved in between—like Jacob had been dying to do this for a while, and when he finally did he couldn't stop anymore. My lower lip caught delicately in his teeth, and he sucked on it; I allowed him, because I loved exploring his mouth just as much—in an almost obsessive manner. My tongue wandered, the pleasant taste of something woodsy settling into my mouth.

When we pulled apart, it was with soft gasps and fitful smiles and chuckles. He patted my head. "Was that also a friends thing?"

"Nothing about us is friendly," I finally admitted.

"So that means...?"

"I want to be your girlfriend, Jake."

His face stretched out into a huge grin. It was contagious. "Took you long enough, my little moon."

"Is that a yes?" I pinched him lightly.

He chuckled. "Do you want to go at it again for an answer?"

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clarajohnson · 7 months

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the magicians s1e4

filed under episodes you couldn't make today and that you shouldn't have made then. not that i don't love it because I DO but whew

watercolors!

(hamster who was turned into a human boy voice) no, my life is my life, this is--

i do think we need to grapple with how dumb tutting looks out of context

that napkin full of technicolor pills would've done numbers on 2014 tumblr at least

the physical kids is as suggestive a name for that group as they deserve

the moths are real bad !!!!!

ALICE'S BROW RAISE. i'm gonna find a screenshot of it i can't let it go

that's an episode of lost in space-- star trek-- what?-- that's an episode of star trek-- fine, that's an episode of star trek

there is so much eyebrow acting in this episode actually

in my first watch i was so pro-julia the whole time because quentin hadn't become an all-time little meow meow for me yet god this was always a terrible thing for her. the fake engagement is a particularly cruel dig like... how can i torture q the most? tell him nothing that's brought him joy and purpose in the last few years was real, tell him he's being left behind, tell him people are moving forward without him, everyone else knows how to be normal but him

ohhhhhhh julia did you want to see the fireworks? did you? rookie gaslighting mistake miss wicker

laughing at you? what kind of a friend would do that? AND THEN THE SMIRK ohhhhh she and marina could have been so good together

one thing that's real? you're always a raging dick

someone in the discord said penny is leaning into it so hard and i have to agree like... they should not have done this but at least arjun gets to have fun

[whispers] hashtag agree

in 2015 singing shake it off was one of the strangest things a man on television could do but eight years later it just seems like me watching myself in my apartment any given friday night

i understand the logistics that inhibit the pairing but alice and eliot had so much potential like at LEAST platonically

okay all of the stuff above was awful of julia but actually the most awful thing was making q think he'd harm his father (and that that harm was linked to magic use! which will come back around when magic shuts off!)

penny helping by shouting at quentin as loud and aggressively as he can :-) you racist motherfucker !!!!!!

julia and marina having a sexy raspy voice-off

high-end designer cooperative magic... said while wearing her little leather bondage outfit... hitting on kady... affectionately, you melodramatic cunt

our little q :-) he knows where he would take him on a first fucking date

do we know what marina's discipline was/would've been? ik it's not like (barf) hogwarts houses or whatever but i'm curious where brakebills placed her

jesus christ i didn't remember he was gonna get a fucking lobotomy

there's a lot of eye horror in this show which is just the worst

ughhhh bad episode for julia

god eliot is so obvious right from the start it is insane... patting q's head giving him things... fuckin loverboy

poor you and your taste of honey worse than none at all :-( marina they could NEVER make me hate you

#unauthorized magicians rewatch #the magicians #text

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magicshopaholic · 11 months

Text

The Test (Seokjin x OC)

Summary: You and Seokjin deal with the possibility of an unexpected - and unplanned - discovery.

Pairing: Seokjin x OC

Genre: Best friends; angst

Word count: 5.9 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language; talks of pregnancy; mentions of death and amputations (Nari's a surgeon, duh); allusions to abortion, childbirth, complications and miscarriages

A/N: Whew, this was rough. Takes place the day after The Wedding.

Tagging: @bbl32 @quarter-life-crisis2 @dreaming-with-happiness @meirkive @faearchives @margopinkerton @kflixnet (italics could not be tagged; drop a message if you want to be added)

Listen to: "don't know why" by norah jones

seokjin masterlist | main masterlist

Seokjin is just done brushing his teeth, bleary-eyed and exhausted, when someone knocks on the door loudly. For some reason, his first reaction is to duck, as though afraid of a gunshot through the window of his sixteen-storey bathroom.

He splashes some water on his face and makes his way to the door, all while the knocks grow louder and more inconsistent. It’s annoying, not least because it’s reasonably early in the morning, but there’s something terribly frantic about the way the sound echoes through his living room.

Seokjin knows who it is before he opens the door.

“Nari, it’s - do you know what time it is?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s late,” she says hurriedly, brushing past him without invitation and entering his house. “Or it’s early. Or - I don’t know. I’ve been at the hospital,” she adds, and her voice trembles a bit.

He shuts the door slowly behind him, taking in her mildly dishevelled state. It’s strangely similar to how she’d looked twenty-four hours ago at her parents’ house, but different in every other physically conceivable way. In faded jeans and a grey t-shirt that she’d changed into at the hotel yesterday, with her hair tied back messily, she looks completely drained of energy. Yet, her tone is upbeat, almost jumpy in a way.

“Are you - have you slept at all?”

“What? No,” she says, shaking her head jerkily. “I told you, I was at the hospital. I had to monitor a patient all night, so I’ve been hitting the caffeine. I had to make sure he didn’t conk off on my watch,” she explains vaguely, moving some items off his couch to make space for her bag.

Uncertain how to respond to that, Seokjin swallows. “Okay. Um… don’t you think you should get some sleep? You’ve been up all night -”

“I will - I’ll take a nap at the hospital. I have a surgery this afternoon,” she tells him, eyes shining. “It’s a below-the-knee amputation. It’s my first orthopaedic rotation all year but I’ve been with this patient since he got admitted, so if everything goes well, I’ll get to saw the leg off,” she finishes excitedly.

There’s a distinct rumble of thunder in the distance while Seokjin processes this information. “Jesus Christ, Nari,” he says finally, running a hand over his face. “That’s - that’s really morbid. And weird.”

“It’s not! The patient has cancer and he’s in pain - believe me, he wants this leg cut off as soon as -”

“Okay, stop!” He cringes when she gets cut off. “Sorry, it’s just… a lot. And not what you came here for.” He pauses, watching her smile fade and knowing he’s right. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Nari swallows, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and dropping her gaze. “Why - why would you assume something is wrong?”

Because the last time we saw each other, you seemed like you couldn’t wait to get away from me. But no good can come of reliving that.

“Um, you seem a little… frazzled,” he says. “Is everything okay? Is this about - about yesterday?”

Nari’s breath hitches a bit. “Oh. Well… yeah, actually. Oh, God, I don’t know where to start,” she mutters, covering her mouth and sitting on the sofa. She drops her head in her hands and groans.

Shit. Seokjin hoped it wouldn’t come to this, that the things he’d said to her yesterday would just stay buried - would stay on the other side of the door, like she said. But that’s too much to hope for, even though he’d done the right thing. He takes a hesitant seat next to her.

“Look, I - I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way,” he murmurs, not knowing whether to look at her. “I never wanted to hurt your feelings and I - I guess was taken a little off guard when you asked me. But… I understand if you’re mad at me.”

Nari frowns, and he can almost hear her brain working. Then her eyes widen. “Oh… God. No, no, that’s - that’s not what I’m talking about,” she says quickly, her cheeks flushing. “I heard you. Loud and clear,” she mutters, looking away, clearly embarrassed.

Loud and clear. It’s ironic, for he’d heard her loud and clear, too. The timing was impeccable - and fortunate - for if Seokjin had not accidentally overheard Nari with her mother, right when he’d been on his way to apologise for his horrendous behaviour, he may have destroyed their friendship for good.

You thought I was dating Seokjin? God, mom, there’s just no way.

In hindsight, it makes sense. They were never supposed to have feelings for each other. She knew it - he just had to put into the right words for her.

Seokjin clears his throat, trying to ignore his heart sinking at the memory. “Oh. Okay. What is it then?” he asks, suddenly struggling to remember anything else that might have happened yesterday, but drawing a blank.

“Right.” Nari nods before abruptly standing up and facing him. Their positions now reversed, she takes a deep breath. All her jumpiness seems to have disappeared; she looks more worried than he’s ever seen her.

“Okay, for the record, I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but… it’s the right thing to do.” She exhales again, deeper this time. “Seokjin, I… my period is late. I - I might be pregnant.”

There’s that thunder again, somewhere in the distance. It’s strange, for the sky is blue, with not a cloud in sight.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I -” Seokjin tries to swallow, but finds his throat is dry. He shakes his head and meets her gaze. “Are you telling you’re pregnant? With - with my -”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“No,” she says, pacing around the living room now that the words are out of her mouth. “I haven’t taken a test; I’ve been awake all night and the coffee and the - the alcohol from the wedding - they can mess with the result. A blood test is better. But the lab is backed up, so I won’t get the result until later tonight.” She looks up at him expectantly. “But… I can’t remember the last time my period was late.”

That last detail is enough for Seokjin. “Oh, my God.” It feels like a tree trunk that’s broken during a storm and is blocking the road, clouding his entire future as he knows it. “I - we’re going on tour next year,” is all that comes out of his mouth.

He knows instantly that it’s the wrong thing to say, for he looks up to see Nari’s face fall.

“Of course. I - I know. You’re - I would never ask you to give up -” But here she breaks off, and her face screws up as though she’s about to cry. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no,” he mutters immediately, getting to his feet and standing right in front of her. “That’s not what I meant. I’ll be with you, okay? Whatever you decide to do. I mean it,” he adds, squeezing her shoulders. “It’s just a lot to process. But… we’ll figure this out.”

Nari doesn’t say anything for a moment, her eyes searching his face. Her fear is visible and he wonders momentarily if she’s thinking about yesterday, about his hesitant confession in response to a question he never thought either of them would have the courage to ask each other. As he thinks it, another possibility occurs to him.

“Wait, is that why you asked if -”

He’s cut off by a beeping sound. Nari steps away from him and fishes her pager out of her pocket. “Fuck, I have to go. My patient’s vitals are dropping,” she mutters, moving around him to get her bag.

“Now?” Seokjin frowns, bewildered at this sudden change in atmosphere. “Wait, Nari. We - we have to talk about this.”

She sighs, looking more tired than ever. He’s so tempted, so tempted, to ask her whether she’s eaten anything decent but the words catch in his throat.

“I know. We will. I just… I can’t deal with this right now.” She shakes her head and heads to the door, pausing at the exit. She turns around to face him, and she looks almost guilty. “I’m sorry, Seokjin.”

It’s too loaded to be about anything else, but before he can ask her again, she’s gone.

—

Seokjin hurries into Big Hit an hour later, his mind going a mile a minute. There were too many variables in front of him once Nari left his apartment, so his solution was zero down to the one most within his reach. He’d blasted a message in the group chat before heading into the shower, vaguely hoping to drown himself, and had emerged to a single lone reply from Jungkook who told him exactly where to find Namjoon for the rest of the day.

He races to the younger member’s studio and bursts in without warning, all formalities set aside for now. Namjoon, head bent over laptop and a pair of gigantic headphones perched on top, doesn’t even notice him for a few seconds.

“Whoa,” he says, doing a double take and pausing something on the laptop before taking off the headphones. “Hey, hyung. What are you doing here?”

That’s a great question. Seokjin knows the gist of why he’s here, at Big Hit, in the leader’s studio even though he’s not on schedule right now. But he hasn’t the faintest idea where to start because suddenly, for the first time in over an hour, the full force of Nari’s news is occurring to him. He exhales shakily, still standing in the doorway, feeling like his legs might give out.

Namjoon frowns. “Hyung? Are you -”

“Yeah.” Seokjin nods and steps in, the door swinging shut behind him. “Sorry, I know you’re busy and everything, but I just wanted to, uh… discuss something.”

“Uh, yeah. Of course.” Namjoon gets up and pulls a chair over to the monitor, gesturing for him to sit. “Do you want coffee or anything?”

Something strong. But it’s much too early for that.

“Just water. Thanks.”

Namjoon nods and takes two small bottles out of the fridge and hands one to Seokjin, who unscrews the cap and takes a large swig, not emerging until he’s drunk the whole thing. He pretends not to notice Namjoon’s frown deepen, staring at the screen instead.

“What are you working on?” he asks, hearing the barely-masked indifference in his own tone.

Namjoon stares for a moment before gesturing to the screen. “Uh, nothing, really. Just mixing some stuff. Something for the next album probably.”

“That’s great.”

“Something on your mind, hyung?”

“Yeah, okay.” There’s no point beating around the bush right now. Time is of the essence and as much as Seokjin would like to skirt around the topic and make nonsense small talk with a clearly busy Namjoon, there are some things he needs to get out of the way.

“Hypothetically,” he begins, then pauses. Before him, Namjoon sits still, patiently waiting for him to continue. He tries again. “What if… what’s the company protocol on… taking a break? For a single member to just… step back for a while?”

It’s clear that this isn’t what Namjoon was expecting. “What do you mean? Do you want to take a break? How long -”

“Just hypothetically,” interrupts Seokjin, feeling his own pulse race in response to Namjoon’s tone. “What would - I mean, how would that conversation go? What would you have to do?”

“Well… I would have to talk to management,” he answers after a moment, and Seokjin can tell he’s struggling not to roll his eyes. “I would have to talk to marketing, to PR, who would analyse the revenue hit, the stock price and a bunch of other things. I would have to discuss it with Production, because a lot of content is in the works already, so if this… hypothetical member wants to take a break, he’s got to be really sure about it,” he finishes ominously, his gaze unmoving.

Seokjin is quiet, the slow realisation hitting him that logic is not what he was looking for right now, and that he’s sought out the wrong member in that case. His palms feel sweaty and he stares at his shoes, feeling his stomach churn painfully.

“But if this hypothetical member really does need a break,” begins Namjoon, startling him a bit, “I can work it out. I just need to know. Hyung, do you?” he asks after a moment, dropping all pretence of hypotheticals.

He sighs, dropping his head in his hands. “I might,” he confesses, feeling like he might throw up.

“Okay. How long are we looking at?” Namjoon asks, tone calm and deliberate. “A week? A month?”

“More like nine,” he mutters, hesitantly meeting his eyes. Seokjin watches with the feeling, once again, of a slow-motion car crash as the words sink in. There’s nothing first, then the registering, then the confusion, then the hope that it’s some sick joke, and then horror.

“When you say -” But Namjoon doesn’t need to finish his sentence, for Seokjin’s expression apparently confirms everything it needs to. His hands fly to his face and he’s in sort of a mid-gasp where he seems to be unable to exhale. It occurs to Seokjin that when Namjoon heard “break”, he possibly thought it was due to tiredness or burnout of some kind.

“Yeah,” he confirms uselessly, feeling, for the first time, a creeping shame throughout his body for he knows he’s putting Namjoon in an unbelievably difficult position, for no fault of his.

“But who -” He doesn’t seem to be able to finish this sentence either.

“Um… it’s - it’s Nari.” He doesn’t add anymore, and something in Namjoon’s eyes seems to soften slightly. He seems as though he wants to ask, but decides against it at the last moment.

“She’s pregnant?” He whispers the words, finally letting a gust of breath out.

“Yeah, most probably.,” he admits, his heart sinking.

“Um… when exactly -”

“About a month and a half ago.” When Namjoon doesn’t respond, probably because the maths checks out, Seokjin shakes his head. “In any case, I need to be with - I mean, I can’t just not -” He breaks off, finding it impossible to explain.

“No, of course,” says Namjoon almost mechanically, his eyes unfocused. He seems to be thinking about a hundred things simultaneously. “I understand. We’ll work it out somehow. I mean, we’ll have to get PR involved - I’m not sure if you’ll be able to keep it a secret - or if you’ll want to,” he backtracks hastily. “But, uh… yeah. And - and I don’t think nine months will cover it,” he adds, giving him a sideways glance.

No, probably not. Feeling sick to his stomach, Seokjin clears his throat. There’s so much he wants to say, to vent, to ask and get off his chest but one look at Namjoon tells him he’s burdened him enough for one day. He’d burst into his studio on a normal Monday to change probably every single plan he’d made for the group for the rest of the year or more, just like Nari had barrelled into his apartment this morning to change his life forever.

“I should go,” he says abruptly, standing up so suddenly that his chair wobbles. “I just - I just wanted to give you a heads up.” Without waiting for a response, he turns around and leaves the studio and the building, making a beeline for the only person he wants to see right now.

When Seokjin is a few minutes away from the hospital, he calls her.

“Can we talk?” he asks, striding up the sidewalk, waiting only for her to respond with an uncertain “Sure, I guess?” before he hangs up. Heart racing but this time with something else, he reaches the entrance to the hospital where he spots her jogging down the stairs.

Nari is in hospital scrubs this time, her hair tied into a higher and tighter ponytail, and her shoulders straighter somehow. She shows none of the anxiety she’d displayed this morning in his apartment, and Seokjin wonders for a moment if this is her preparing to cut a person’s leg off. Still, as she nears him, he sees a hint of nervousness in her eyes and feels a grim sort of satisfaction at the sight.

“Listen, about this morning -”

“Not here.” She turns abruptly to lead him away from the reception, up the stairs and down several corridors until they reach their destination, and she shuts the door behind him. When she switches on the light, a harsh, white tubelight, he’s momentarily speechless.

“You brought me to an on-call room? Are you kidding me?”

“Yeah, the irony isn’t lost on me,” she mutters, shrugging. “But there isn’t anywhere else here that we can get some privacy. And I’m assuming this requires privacy.”

It comes out a bit like a question. Seokjin can’t be sure if this is the exact room in which they’d had sex weeks ago, a spur-of-the-moment mistake, with consequences they should’ve been more responsible about. It had been dark, with nothing but their sense of touch to guide them, warm and soft inside the small room while outside, it poured.

Right now, however, Seokjin can’t reconcile that room with this one, this medically bright room, clean, sterile, a reminder of when their impulses had got the best of them.

“Seokjin?” She breaks him out of his reverie. “What is it? I have surgery in a bit and I need to prep the guy and everything -”

“Okay, I need you to stop talking about surgery for a second,” he interrupts her. “I - I can’t hear about another dead person or a - or a body you’re going to saw in half. Just - please.”

Nari frowns and opens her mouth to respond but apparently changes tacks at the last moment. “What’s going on?”

Namjoon’s face swims in his mind again, his twenty-five year old friend and leader, with the burden of the company on his shoulders while Seokjin could do nothing to help him.

“We need to have a plan. I’m going to tell the company that I need to go on a hiatus,” he announces, his voice dangerously calm. “Or - or Namjoon will, but he said that it can be done if we talk to -”

“Wait.” Nari takes a step forward, her frown deepening into what almost looks like a glare. “You told Namjoon? What the hell, Seokjin?”

And something snaps.

“Of course I told Namjoon!” he exclaims. “This - this changes everything! Not just for me, but for him, for the company, for all the guys! For my parents, for -” He stops abruptly, this thought having only just occurred to him. “This isn’t just your problem, okay? I get to freak out about it, too!”

“But you don’t get to freak out at me!” she shouts back and to his horror, he can see her eyes start to fill with tears. “You think I don’t know that everything is going to change? I’m in the second year of my residency - and now I’ll have to cut back on surgery time, go on maternity leave, probably change specialties. If I’m a single mom in the city, there’s no way I’ll be able to keep this up! My career… it’s over,” she murmurs, taking a step back and looking away, her voice trembling.

“I didn’t -”

“No, you really didn’t. God, you think this is about you?” She sounds scathing now, her voice slicing through him with a fury he’s never heard before. “This is in me! It’s the rest of my fucking life! It’s my - it’s my body! If there are complications, if there’s a surgery, if I fucking die on that table - nothing happens to you! I’m a doctor, you know - I see this shit happen every day.” She shakes her head and scoffs, jabbing a finger in his chest. “You can walk away whenever you want. So, no, you do not get to freak out at me.”

Seokjin stares at her, all thoughts wiped clean from his mind. His conversation with Namjoon feels like a minor inconvenience from ages ago, her fears taking precedence over everything else he’s ever known or cared about.

“You think nothing happens to me if you die on that table?” he asks quietly.

“Fuck you.”

She moves past him to leave, taking care to knock his shoulder with hers, but he grabs her arm to stop her.

“Don’t you dare, Seokjin, I’m not in the mood for your -”

“I’m an arsehole,” he says softly, tugging gently and sighing in relief when she stops. “I’m a complete arsehole and you’re right, okay? About everything. I have no business freaking out.”

Nari doesn’t fight him. She turns around on the spot to face him, her eyes and nose red. “That’s not what I mean,” she mutters miserably, wiping at her eyes and not meeting his gaze. “You’re allowed your reaction, too, but… it’s going to be hard enough telling my parents that I’m pregnant while being single and unmarried, but if I have you blaming me, too, then I don’t know how -”

“Whoa, I don’t blame you,” he interrupts her, holding her shoulders now. “How could I blame you? There were two of us there, two of us who chose to go ahead without a condom.” He’s quiet for a moment. “It wasn’t our finest moment, but we were in it together. We are in it together,” he adds, squeezing her shoulders. “Nari, I swear I’m not going anywhere.”

Nari bites her lip. “Seokjin, you don’t have to say that,” she tells him in a small voice. “You don’t feel that way about me and I can’t hold you to something like this.”

“Forget about that,” he says immediately, shaking his head. “That was completely - I mean, this is -” He swallows and squeezes her shoulders again. “You’re still my best friend, Nari.” And if you’d let me, if you wanted it, too, who knows what else you could be?

But her own words ring in his mind, incongruous and unwelcome, reminding him of truths he’s not sure he’s likely to forget. Seokjin? Mom, there’s just no way.

Her lower lip trembles, and he resolves in his mind that no matter what else might be going on, he will not fail her when it comes to this.

“I’m so scared, Jinnie,” she admits, a tear escaping.

Seokjin’s heart hurts, so much, and he pulls her into his arms without a word. He feels her body shake against his and holds her tighter, his hand on the back of her head, lips against her hair as he tries, tries and fails, to find the words that can make it even slightly better for her.

But it turns out he doesn’t need to say anything at all, for after about a minute of their silent embrace, devoid of anything other than his silent promise to be there no matter what, she sniffs and pulls away slowly.

“Thanks,” she says with a watery smile. “But I, uh… I have -” She gestures awkwardly outside.

“Surgery, yeah.” He nods and steps away, feeling her warm body separate from his. “I’ll meet you at your apartment tonight?”

“Yeah. I get off at eight, so… after that?”

“Done.” There’s a few seconds where they don’t move, staying in the moment of a mutual promise. Then Seokjin steps forward and hugs her again, kissing the side of her head and feeling her arms wrap around his waist.

“For the record,” he murmurs against her hair, “if you die on that table, they’re going to have to try and save two of us because I’m not making it without you.”

—

It’s late afternoon when Seokjin heads to the dorm, and it’s the longest he’s ever gone without a meal. But hunger seems to evade him today, his stomach occupied instead with nerves and stress so strong that it’s beginning to physically hurt.

He enters the living room, simultaneously glad yet slightly disappointed to find it empty. He flops down onto the leather couch and drops his head on the back, feeling more tired than ever as his future swims before him, completely unknown.

“Hyung?”

Seokjin looks up, a bit startled, to see Namjoon coming out of the hallway, in his hand a backpack. “Hey,” he says hoarsely, not moving. “I thought you were at the studio all day.”

“I was. I mean, I am.” He holds up the backpack. “Just came to pick up some stuff.”

Seokjin doesn’t respond, not even when Namjoon walks over and gingerly takes a seat next to him.

“How are you doing?” he asks lightly.

“Fabulous.” His eyelids feel heavy, but he doesn’t think he can fall asleep for several days now.

��And Nari?”

Seokjin doesn’t respond. There’s a frustration bubbling within him, a low simmering frustration at how he’s lately been managing to constantly say the wrong to her. He hates it; it feels cheap and cowardly and thoroughly undeserving of her.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon,” he says after a moment, still unmoving as he stares at the ceiling. “For doing this. I know it’s going to be a lot of trouble for you.”

“Stop it, hyung,” chides Namjoon gently. “You know you have nothing to apologise for. It’s your life.”

“Yeah, but it’s your job.” He finally looks at the younger member, wondering how many more people he’s going to need to apologise to. “You sounded troubled before and… I get it.”

“Well… sure,” he replies slowly. “I have to have certain priorities. But they don’t have to be your priorities,” he tells him. “You should really only have one priority right now.”

I do. He realises then that it’s true. All other worries aside, there’s only one thing that’s non-negotiable to him, and she’d been crying in his arms less than a couple of hours ago.

“Have you ever been in one of these situations? Like, a pregnancy scare?”

“With Kaya? No.” He pauses. “She’s on the pill.”

“What if she forgets to take it?”

“She’s not the type to forget stuff like that. Actually, she is,” he amends, “if she’s busy. But… not with this.”

It doesn’t help. Namjoon seems to realise it, for he sighs. “Obviously, I don’t know what you’re both going through right now, but… you don’t have to worry about anything else. Not the management stuff or anything. I’ll take care of it.”

Seokjin can’t seem to find the right words to express what that means to him, so he simply nods and pats Namjoon’s knee.

“You and Nari,” he begins, then pauses. “Were you… are you dating?”

“No. It’s just been a few times,” answers Seokjin in a low voice. “God, I can’t believe how stupid we were.”

“Cut yourself some slack, hyung. Everyone makes mistakes.”

He scoffs quietly. “Hell of a mistake.” He shakes his head, the same feeling of shame rising up in him again. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he mutters.

Namjoon hesitates. “Which part?”

“Everything.” Seokjin sighs. “A year ago, Nari and I made a pact. We were drinking and fooling around, but… we decided that if we were still single when we turned thirty, we’d give it a try. Give us a try,” he clarifies.

“Oh.” He nods. “You still have a couple years to go.” When he doesn’t respond, Namjoon nudges him gently. “Come on, hyung. You said it yourself - you two were drinking and everything. People say stupid shit when they’re drunk.”

“Yeah, but even that drunken pact was more of a plan than this,” insists Seokjin. “We would’ve been thirty, we would be dating like normal people, I’d be back after enlistment… and then we’d move forward with our lives.”

“Hyung,” he begins after a moment, and Seokjin can tell he’s trying to be delicate. “I know it isn’t the ideal situation, but… I don’t know, isn’t it better that it’s with Nari at least? Over some random girl that you may have dated but didn’t know very well?”

Seokjin opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Isn’t it better that it’s Nari? It’s not a thought that’s crossed his mind thus far, the idea that having a baby out of wedlock with Nari is somehow preferable to having it with someone else. It’s been the most shameful part in his mind, the thought of irrevocably changing the most important relationship in his life. His childhood best friend, his lifelong constant, now quite possibly the mother of his child. For the first time, it doesn’t automatically fill him with dread.

He pictures it, the unknown future now taking shape. Nari, her skin glowing and her belly swollen with his child. Nari, on a hospital bed, sweaty and happy as she cradles their newborn in her arms. Nari, right beside him as they watch a toddler take its first steps, the pride and euphoria almost making him choke.

It’s Nari. It always would be.

Seokjin exhales shakily, his chest loosening up just slightly, just a pinch, and for the first time all day, he feels hungry.

“What if she did forget?” he asks after a moment, almost hopefully. “Kaya. If she forgot to take her pill… if it was you in this situation?”

Namjoon is quiet for a few seconds. “It wouldn’t be ideal,” he admits, shrugging. “But there’s no question. I’d do whatever she wants.”

—

At eight pm that night, Seokjin goes to Nari’s apartment, half a block away from the hospital. He hopes she’s home; there’s a very good chance that either her surgery ran long or she got pulled into another one or she just fell asleep somewhere and lost track of time. Given that it’s been almost forty-eight hours since she last got a proper night’s sleep, he really hopes she’s home.

And the other thing, of course.

He rings the doorbell with a shaky determination, anxious but certain of what he wants. When she opens the door and gives him a small smile, stepping aside to let him in, he prepares himself for it.

“Do you have it?” he asks. She nods in response, holding up a folded sheet of paper. “Okay,” he says, licking his lips and nodding back. “Okay. Nari, listen. Before we look at it, I just need to say something.”

Nari tilts her head and gives him that same small, forced smile. “Seokjin, I know. I know you’ll be there.”

“No, it’s not that. Can you just -” He pulls her gently by the hand and guides her to the armchair, silently requesting her to sit down. When she obliges, he kneels before her, his heart racing again.

“Look, I know I haven’t been… I mean, I’ve been a bit of a dick the last few days and I’ve been apologising for something or the other constantly,” he begins, spotting a hint of amusement in her eyes and feeling heartened. “But… I meant what I said today, Nari,” he says, squeezing her warm hands between his own. “I’m going to be right here with you, through everything. Whatever you decide.”

Nari swallows. “Even if I choose to…” She trails off, but it’s enough for him.

“Even if you choose to,” he confirms. “And even if you don’t. Doctor’s appointments, midnight cravings, diaper changes… everything. You can move in,” he offers. “Save on rent, more space, more help. My career is a lot more flexible than yours - you don’t have to give anything up.”

Her lower lip is trembling again. “Do you really mean that?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious about anything in my entire life. I think I might pass out from the seriousness.”

She chuckles and his heart leaps. “Thanks.” Her thumb strokes the back of his hand lightly. Seokjin wonders if it would be inappropriate to kiss her right now; just a peck on the lips, more out of comfort than anything else. Before he can consider it, however, she reaches for the folded paper and Seokjin realises he’d forgotten why he’d come over in the first place.

“You ready?” she asks, sitting on the edge of the chair.

Seokjin nods, moving backwards to sit adjacent to her on her mismatched sofa. He clasps his hands together, his chest going back to contracting painfully as she slowly unfolds the sheet, a medical-looking document with the hospital logo on the top right corner.

He watches as her eyes scan the sheet, clearly making sense of numbers and results he has no idea about. Then her face goes slack and she exhales, her breath coming out raggedly.

“Oh, my God,” she whispers, and her mouth starts trembling again.

“Nari, it’s okay, I -”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“- will be - what?”

Nari lowers the sheet of paper and tilts it towards him. “My hCG levels are completely normal. They’re normal,” she repeats, although it seems more to herself than him. She stands up and drops the paper, ignoring it fluttering down on the coffee table.

“They’re normal,” she murmurs again, rubbing her hands over her face. “They’re normal, they’re normal - yes, yes, yes - yes!” She lets out a shaky, relieved laugh, pumping her fist in the air. “I’m not pregnant - fuck, yeah! Oh, thank God, I was so worried…”

Seokjin watches her, a continuation of the car crash he can’t help but watch, much as he’d like to turn away. His own anxiety is gone, too, and he waits for the relief - but it never quite comes. The anxiety is gone, taking everything else with it, too, and leaving behind a strange emptiness.

He watches her, trying to ignore the irrational disappointment he can feel deep in stomach. She doesn’t seem to notice at first, still marvelling at their luck, at their near miss. It isn’t until she turns around with the same relieved smile, the one making her face brighter than the sun, to see his own expression, and her smile fades.

“No…” Nari shakes her head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just - I mean, this is a good thing, right? Now nothing has to change,” she explains, a different sort of uncertainty in her voice this time. “I really appreciate that you wanted to step up and - and I’m sure it would’ve been…” She swallows, and a small frown appears on her forehead. “Seokjin, come on… I mean, you didn’t want this either.”

Not trusting himself to speak, Seokjin nods. It doesn’t matter, he realises. It doesn’t matter that he’d pictured Nari holding their child or Nari living with him or Nari coming home to him every day - Nari didn’t want any of that. There’s just no way. It finally hits home.

“Yeah,” he manages, forcing a smile that he’s sure she can see through. He stands up, needing to be anywhere but here. “I’m - I’m happy for you, Nari,” he murmurs honestly, unable to meet her eyes for longer than a second. He is, it’s true. She’d said it herself: this was not about him. She’s got her life back, and Seokjin has got yet another confirmation of where they stand.

“Jinnie, I didn’t mean it like that,” she starts to say, but he’s already on his way to the door. “You don’t have to take a break now,” she blurts out. “You can go on tour next year, just like you planned.”

Good news for Namjoon, he supposes. “Yeah, you’re right,” he says softly. There’s nothing more to say - he can see that on her face as well. She looks confused, hurt - and somewhat knowing. But Seokjin doesn’t think he can take any more today.

“Take care, Nari.” Tearing his eyes away from her tall, familiar form, he steps out of her apartment and shuts the door behind him.

—

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)

#seokjin x oc #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfic #thebtswritersclub #btshoneyhive #bangtanwhq #bangtantheatrenet #bangtanbathhouse #k-vanity #wkcnet #bangtanoasis #hyunglinenetwork #micdropnet #bts jin fanfic #bts jin angst

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the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 2 years

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#317

This is a direct follow up to story #50

“Cunt. I’ve got a surprise for you. Remember that truck stop I met you and used you at? The old school style toilets and showers were torn down last year. I was going to use the facilities and a faggot or two while there yesterday, and it’s gone. They have a new facility, and the showers became individual rooms. I was talking with that fag that works the check out. She told me they got too many complaints of guys having sex. Then she told me that the scenic overlook thirty miles up the highway going towards the mountains has been picking up the slack, but it's mostly after midnight. After taking care of business in town, I drove back at night and stopped there.

“Jesus fucking Christ. There were about six or seven semis and a couple of pickups. I was talking with one driver who said the activity is up the hill a bit behind the semi parking.

“Do you know of that place was cruisy when you used to look for dick?... Me neither. I went up the hill to see. There was a small clearing with a fallen tree. Wouldn’t you know the truck stop clerk was completely naked bent over? She took driver after driver. By the time it was my turn, that faggot’s cunt has six loads in it.

“Initially I thought it was nasty, but damn! did it feel good on my dick. There was a fag driver who really wanted my hog. I smacked her across the face, and she thanked me for it. I told her that I wanted to fuck her in her cab. Off we went. I made her walk back naked. She didn’t even hesitate. She got some looks, but no one seemed surprised. I dumped a couple of loads into her. She drank my piss and ate my ass. Her tongue was not as good as yours. She didn’t know what to do with all my ass hair.

“Apparently, any worknight will be busy. You better believe it that we’re going there tonight. She suggested securing you to that log. Some of the drivers really get roughing up the fagmeat.

“After what, two and a half years of being dedicated to only my dick, I think it’s time to change how I treat you. I’m going to have your cunt gangbanged. I’m going to strip you down and make you walk across the lot naked. No shoes, nothing. I’m going to write in big black letters ‘Cum Dump’ across your chest and back. You will leave your dentures in the truck. This will be your first time giving another man head since I had your teeth knocked out.

“Come to think of it, this will be the first time you have will be in service of another man since I modified you. But I don’t think any man would notice or even care that you have no hair below your nose or that I replaced your balls with a fake set.

“I can’t wait to see you struggle to take dick after dick. Oh fuck I’m so fucking horny, turn around. I need to fuck that cunt. Present it. No fucking lube other than my leak. Here it comes faggot cunt. Oh man does your cunt feel dry in comparison.

“Tonight, when you are done, your cunt lips are going to be puffy and raw. You are going to be dripping load from the gape you can’t close no matter how hard you try. You are going to reek of piss and sweat. I am going to tell each driver that you will drink their piss.

“Fuck! Tighten up. I want to feel your cunt lips give me one last tight fuck before I have it destroyed, like some fucking whore. You are going to be my whore. My cum dump whore.

“Your cunt is on fire!

“When we get home tomorrow night, I’m going to empty this cunt of the cum sludge. And you are going to fucking lap it up. Fuck yeah. I’m going to breed you faggot. And it will be your first. Then tonight, one after another is going to load you up.

“Get ready faggot. I’m gonna explode. I’m going in deep. I’m gonna blow. Oh shit. That’s it, tighten harder. Harder faggot! Oh baby here it comes. Urgh! Urgh! Ahhh! Ahhhhh!

“Fuck yeah. Keep squeezing. Milk me for the last drop or two…. Now clean me off. Whew!

“Oh man, you better perform like that tonight. The driver I fucked said that faggots your tiny size get worked over hard. He was saying that I should put a wig and a skirt on you. We’ll see about that.

“The other thing is that when I was leaving his cab, I saw his piss bottle. I told him that I knew the perfect sewer to dispose it in. He was grossed out by it, but he understood. Here you go, drink up! I think I’ll have tonight’s drivers pay me to fuck you with their piss bottles. Fuck yeah! That’s what I’m going to do. Faggot, you just got yourself in the business of being a sewer. And if I play my cards right, that fag driver will begin his transition to being your replacement.”

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til-f · 4 months

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Episode 3 Thoughts

I was literally terrified that they weren't going to give us the whole prophecy. Breathed a sigh of relief when they did.

the prophecy scene with only gabe saying it felt super forced lol

I really missed the line "The real world is where the monsters are. that's where you learn if you're any good or not." Like, I wanted that. I also think it describes annabeth's character, and a lot of the reason why she wants to go on the quest.

some good angst when percy got mad on thalia's behalf. again, why do we have to change the tiniest lines to be different. JUST KEEP THEM THE SAME UGHHGHLJ

I don't mind that annabeth is like, a badass, but she isn't the leader of the quest. and i think her anal leader vibe is kinda not the best way to portray her. I don't know. This is percy's only quest. and I could see rick in the film studio being all like, "nah, we can't let percy be the star of the show. he needs to learn to relinquish control" and that is driving me CRAZY. the whole bit where alecto tells annabeth that she might be the most formidable demigod alive? WHY RICK. WHY. WHY MUST YOU NOT LET PERCY JUST BE THE FUCKING MAIN CHARACTER. WHY MUST YOU CHANGE THINGS. WHY WASN'T PERCY THE ONE TO KILL THE FURIES ON THE BUS AND WHY DOESN'T HE FEEL LIKE THE PROTAGONIST. WHYYYY

this book is so near and dear to my heart yall, I should not be making these posts LOL. But I love the show so please read on.

I loved grover's song, lmao. so cute. and when percy goes "our voting system's broken." i'm cracking up.

WHY WAS THE MEDUSA SCENE SO BAD AND SO WEIRD ??!!!!!???? WHAAT ???? WHAT THE FUCK. SERIOUSLY. WHAT?????????????? And again, why are the mosnters so fixated on annabeth? It's kinda weird?!!?!? Um. and I feel like just putting the invisible cap on medusa wouldn't have stopped her powers. also, the fight scene should have been more epic. whats with all the psychology. Just let the children eat burgers and kill medusa. jesus christ.

I don't quite get why percy is having trust issues in the show. in teh books, he's loyal to a fault. he doesn't even think to question that annabeth or grover would betray him. and that he only brought annabeth because he thought they wouldn't be friends? Sigh. Rick, if you're reading this, grrr

the last bit of the episode where percy ships the head to the gods (very impertinent!!!) (same font and same message as the book ahhhh!!!!!!!) and hermes delivering it to the 600th floor almost made up for the other nonsense. almost.

New York City babyyyyy I like it!

WHEW. overall, this episode drove me a little crazy, so I don't really know what to say. Hopefully next episode is better.

#percy jackson #pjo show #meta #percy jackson and the olympians

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bigsnzstanacct · 2 months

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Fellow. Travelers.

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life seen a canon ship that gives so much “sub who has allergies and dom who has the kink.” All those scenarios of, dom induces the sub, dom induces the sub and then makes them hold it back as long as they possibly can….all of that is Hawk and Tim to a T.

You’re totally right that Tim has terrible allergies and fits. Can you imagine the first time Hawk sees Tim sneeze? He would be GONE. Because Tim’s sneeze is just as cute and pretty and puppy-like as the rest of him. And Tim would be so self conscious about his sneezes and allergies, immediately blushing and stammering out an apology. “Don’t worry Skippy, I think it’s cute.” And then Tim would learn just how cute Hawk finds it and……oh. Well, he’s already given Hawk power over him in every other way, might as well give Hawk power over his sneezes too.

And we know that despite his innocence, Tim can play the game. (“I’m your boy, right?”) So when Tim’s allergies get bad he starts to play it up a little, all innocent and helpless, “sorry the - heh - the pollen is getting to me. My nose tih-hihh-tickles so much….” “Jesus Christ Skippy, are you trying to kill me?”

Yeah, it’s like the topping from the bottom of it all that really gets to me. Sk/ippy playing it up it just… SO HOT. Honestly that moment you mention on the show when he did the first little role reversal seduction moment bc he wanted to go to the party… whew! A++++++++ moment. Also I just want H/awk to sneeze loud. I want him to also sneeze a lot but what would probably make sense would be like he’s one who doesn’t have allergies or if he does have allergies he stifles BUT when he’s sick he just like… holes up at home and roars it out. Like maybe even he stays at his DC apartment “cause he’s sick” and Sk/ippy’s there and Haw/k’s sneezing this huge cold-ridden sneezes all over S/kippy and so of course S/kippy gets his cold and it’s still allergy season so between the two Ski/ppy can barely breathe through his nose without flying forward with a fit of intensely itchy sneezes… yeah sooooooooo much to play with in terms of the fetish with these characters, and it also doesn’t hurt that you know the actors are *beautiful*.

#sneeze asks

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hostess-of-horror · 2 years

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Can we possibly get something where saltbaker was making some kind of love pastry he was planing on using but ended up with it back firing onto him, resulting in him becoming obsessive/ super clingy???👀💘 (love ur saltbaker stuff btw 10/10😍)

Oooh, I like the way you think, anon!

Love potions are actually one of my favorite plot devices, and the only story I have ever made that involves something similar is "The Elixir".

And thank you so much! I'm really, really glad that so many people are enjoying my stuff! Actually, I'm just overwhelmed by the amount of attention, Jesus Christ...!

Alrighty, with all that out of the way, on to the prompt!

However... before we get to Chef Saltbaker, let's go over my rendition of love potions. This is so we can get a clear idea as to what they are, how they're used, and overall their place in the world of Cuphead.

Love potions within Inkwell Isles are actually somewhat common, but they aren't found in just your average local shop. They are small apothecaries that sell them and other special potions located a bit farther away from towns and cities. But sometimes, there are rare occasions where a shopkeeper would have a "private" stash of love potions for customers, after they've proved themselves old enough to buy them.

Unlike most depictions, love potions do not cause people to fall in love instantly with whoever they first see. It can only work effectively if a couple, or at least one of the two, drank the potion while being in the relationship they're in. In fact, stories of people using love potions to fulfill their unrequited love for another are just propaganda.

Speaking of which, love potions are relatively uncommon knowledge to a lot of people, hence the propaganda. This is usually because of pure ignorance due to the fear of the unknown. Luckily, there are licensed professionals that can educate first-timers and ask any questions they have.

Although a love potion mostly works for couples, single people can and do use it. However, this won't be as powerful as it would if they have a partner they love. The potion would, instead, work as a positive mood changer and thus create self love, which makes for a good medicine.

If someone were to take too much, then they will go into a temporary condition called "Lovesickness." Lovesickness is where the user literally goes blind with love. The symptoms include: uncontrollable giddiness, heart palpitations, shivering, hallucinations involving Cupid, romantic proses and ramblings, extreme cases of clinginess and other acts of love. These symptoms are completely non-fatal and will wear out after 12 hours.

Love potions are often used by couples to enhance their attraction for each other and set the mood for their time together. They can be used by itself or be incorporated into recipes for consumption.

Whew...! Okay, NOW onto Chef Saltbaker!

Content Includes: Lots of Flirting and Suggestiveness (not explicit NSFW)

---

He could feel his glass body quiver as a strange surge of energy rushes through his chest.

The two Danishes he had baked for himself and his beloved were meant as an anniversary gift, and so, he wanted to make them special by adding a few teaspoons from a love potion.

He had took small sips (or so he thought) to test the flavor, unknowingly creating a whirlwind of firsthand lovesickness.

His chest and stomach began to flutter, his face contorting uncontrollably into a sweet smile, his face flushing until it burned like fire, his mind becoming set on one thing and one thing alone: you.

You were just coming back from the farmer's market to pick up more ingredients. Once you went downstairs into the kitchen, you were met with a rather unexpected display of affection.

Chef Saltbaker was certainly very affectionate; he absolutely loves you very much and wanted to show it whenever he can. But on this particular day, he was rather... Lovey-dovey.

As you were putting away the ingredients, you felt hands softly course their up from your hips to your waist. You jolted straight up from the touch, and immediately felt lips grazing up against the crook of your neck, peppering kisses all over your skin.

You turned around to an intoxicated, infatuated Chef Saltbaker, who wasted no time pinning you against the wall, holding you captive as he traced his finger up underneath your chin to kiss you.

At first you had no idea what had gotten into him. But once he began to graze your neck again, you looked over towards the counter where a nicely decorated dish with two Cherry Danishes are places. Right next to them was a half-empty love potion.

Immediately you knew exactly what had happened. But before you could mention anything, Chef Saltbaker swept you off your feet, bridal style, and went over to his living quarters.

He wanted you all to himself. If his actions while cuddling on a lounging chair weren't giving you any clues, then his words of passion and desire certainly did.

The things he whispered into your ear! The flowery prose-like confirmations he spoke of you! The many, many ways he longed to do with you - right now, in the future, and so on! The intoxication had spilled out your lover's most sober thoughts, and by Golly, were you immensely flattered!

But eventually, you asked about the love potion, which made him stop. In a moment of sheer embarrassment, Chef Saltbaker sheepishly covered his face as he gently placed you down. How could he be so... so...!

Ah, but you were okay. He was okay. You knew what he was trying to do for your anniversary, and you reassured him that, despite his mistake, you were absolutely happy to be with him. With or without those sweet little pastries.

Although this had not cured his lovesickness, Chef Saltbaker rested his head on your lap, exhausted from his experience. You smiled as you lovingly rubbed your thumb against his cheek. It would be another six or so hours until Chef Saltbaker finally goes back to being himself again.

#chef saltbaker x reader #answered asks #chef Saltbaker #cuphead the delicious last course #cuphead dlc #cuphead #my writing #love potions #anniversary gift

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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edwardian-girl-next-door · 6 months

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Feast Days: Martinmas

Anthony Van Dyck ~ "St. Martin Dividing His Cloak" (c.1618)

Happy Martinmas!

Today marks the feast day of St. Martin of Tours, who was bishop there from 371 CE until his death in 397 CE. He is the patron saint of many things, including: against poverty, against alcoholism, the poor, cavalry, Buenos Aires, quartermasters, wool-weavers, soldiers, and tailors, as well as wine growers, makers, and sellers. Whew! He must be very busy.

Keep reading for info about his life, a snitch goose, where the word 'chapel' came from, and how to tell what the weather will be like at Christmas.

His Life

Much of what we know about Martin comes from his hagiographer, Sulpicius Severus, who includes some 'artistic license' that is common in chronicles of the time, and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt.

Martin was born anywhere from 316-336 CE in Savaria, now Szombathely, Hungary. His father was a senior officer in the Roman Army, and as such was given land in northern Italy for his retirement. At the age of 10, Martin attended a Christian church against the wishes of his parents, and became interested in Christianity. Because of his father's status as a veteran, he was required to join the cavalry at 15. Dates surrounding his military service are shaky, but Severus states that, during his time stationed in Gaul, he was riding on horseback when he encountered a poor man with threadbare clothes. Having compassion on him, Martin used his sword to cut his own woolen cloak in two and gave the other half to the man. That night, Jesus Christ appeared to him in a dream, surrounded with angels and wearing half of the cloak. After this, Martin was baptised as a Christian. Though other miracles of his are recorded, this tale is the one most associated with Martin's life. It fits in with depictions of God or his angels in disguise as a beggar, traveller, &c., and is also a narrative found in many other religions and traditions. (Biblical examples include Abraham feeding the three angels in Genesis 18).

Martin dips from the army ~ fresco by Simone Martini (c.1320s)

With his new faith now firmly a part of his life, Martin decided to leave the army. Before a battle near modern-day Worms, Germany, Martin went before Emperor Julian and refused his salary, saying, "I am the soldier of Christ: it is not lawful for me to fight." They threw him in prison for this, but due to ye olde extenuating circumstances, he was released and discharged without further incident.

Martin made his way to modern-day Tours in France and declared himself a hermit, becoming a disciple and friend of Hilary of Tours. Because Christianity was Not OK™ in the Roman Empire, he and Hilary faced a lot of discrimination, including corporal punishment and exile. After converting his mother to Christianity and having numerous adventures, like living pretty much alone on an island, he and Hilary settled down in and around Poitiers, where Martin established Ligugé Abbey. It is the oldest known monastery in Europe! Martin made it his home base while he preached throughout western Gaul.

In 371 CE, the bishop of Tours died, and Martin was considered a good candidate for a successor. However, he liked living as a hermit and monk, and they resorted to tricking him into coming to Tours and then forced him to become the bishop. Legend holds that he tried to hide in a barn, but a honking goose gave him away. Hence he is the patron saint of geese, which I think is adorable. Martin proved true to his hermit ways, living very simply in huts with his monks. He established a rudimentary parish system, through which he visited different Christian communities and established monasteries. He was very determined in his efforts to convert local Pagans, as well as protect Christian institutions from unfriendly sects in the area, and in some cases he was successful. He died in 371 CE, already a venerated man. His popularity was ensured by his adoption by various French royals and by the Third Republic as a national symbol.

Martin has been portrayed by several famous artists, including Van Dyck, Peter Bruegel the Elder, and El Greco. He is usually portrayed on horseback, dividing his cloak for the poor man, though occasionally he can be seen riding a donkey. This references another story in his life about the time where he met the Devil and outwitted him. It also connects him to the image of Jesus riding a donkey into Jerusalem (recounted in Mark 1:1-11).

Martinmas and its Traditions

Martin lent his legacy to a host of English words and phrases, including those relating to the word 'chapel'. Temporary buildings that held the relic of his cloak (cappa in Latin) were referred to as cappella, and hence the word 'chapel' was born. A similar thing happened to the word 'chaplain', which derived from the word for the priest in charge of the cloak.

Though the Anglo-Saxon church did celebrate St. Martin to some extent, more references to Martinmas celebrations begin to crop up after Norman Conquest of 1066, when the Frenchman William the Conqueror invaded England. Supposedly, he promised to build an abbey dedicated to Martin if his invasion of England was successful. William was very likely familiar with the early Mediaeval association of the battle-hungry rulers of France with St. Martin, and was possibly responsible for his increased popularity in England.

In England and Scotland, and indeed through much of western Europe, Martinmas became a celebration marking the culmination of the harvest and the beginning of winter. From the late fourth century through the late Middle Ages, it also served a similar purpose to Mardi Gras/Carnivale: a period of fasting was ordained for the day after Martinmas through Christmas, so Martinmas was your last chance to stuff your face for a long time! (This period later became Advent, though with much laxer rules). As such, it was a time for feasting, celebration, bonfires, getting really drunk, and even events such as bull-running, as in Stamford, Lincolnshire. It was also a time for the end-of-harvest tasks, such as sowing winter wheat and slaughtering pigs and cattle. An old English saying goes, "His Martinmas will come, as it does to every hog", meaning, "they will get their comeuppance" or "everyone dies someday". Due to Martin's association with geese, some celebrated with a roast goose, but in Britain particularly it was also popular to eat salted pork or beef. For those not rich enough to have a goose, a duck or hen would also suffice. Other traditional fare included black pudding, haggis, and the first wine of the season.

On the business side of things, Martinmas served as a quarter day in Scotland and in parts England. A quarter day was one of four days on which major legal business was conducted. Servants and labourers would be hired or let go, rent was paid, contracts would begin or end, &c. Hiring fairs would be held for agricultural labourers seeking employment, and there would also be entertainment, food, trading, and other scenes of merriment. One of the most famous Martinmas fairs was at Nottingham in England, which lasted eight days.

Like many other English holidays, there is weather folklore associated with Martinmas. To have a warm fall and winter is to have a "St. Martin's Summer". If Martinmas proves an icy day, Christmas (or the rest of the winter) will be very warm. The rhyme puts it more pithily: "If the geese at Martin's Day stand on ice, they will walk in mud at Christmas".

If you stand at the back of the church and observe the congregation on Martinmas, those with a halo of light around their heads will not be alive by next Martinmas.

Interior of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, with a funky window!

The church of St. Martin-in-the-fields in Trafalgar Square in London is named after Martin. Many people commemorated there are associated with his anti-war sentiments -- these include Vera Brittain, a memoirist and pacifist; and Dick Sheppard, founder of the Peace Pledge Union. The church also supports houseless and vulnerably housed people.

The holiday gradually fell out of practice due to the English Reformation (when England split from the Catholic Church throughout the 1500s) and the Interregnum (Puritan republican government, 1649-1660). The observance of Armistice Day on the same day largely overshadowed the holiday in the UK, though many regions in Western Europe still take part in traditional festivities.

Martinmas is celebrated on 12 October in the Eastern Orthodox Church.

If You're Still Interested...

"The Life of St. Martin" by Sulpicius Severus himself! (pdf)

Pot Roast Martimas Beef Recipe by Chatsworth House

Sources

Historic UK

Wikipedia (Martin of Tours)

Wikipedia (St. Martin's Day)

Fisheaters.com

The Encyclopedia of Saints by Rosemary Ellen Guiley

"Medieval English "Martinmesse": The Archaeology of a Forgotten Festival" by Martin Walsh (via jstor)

#feast day series #feast day #martinmas #st martin #martin of tours #history #cultural history #english history #british history #saints day #folk history