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#when we hit the reset button
theinfinitedivides · 4 months
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'why do you want to go back?' 'so i can hug my mother one last time' the emotional destruction i experienced in this last episode istg when they showed that phone call coming in with the caller ID i lost it. broke down screamed into my hands i need to sleep but i'll probably cry my way into bed
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blinkpen · 8 months
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having long ago made the executive decision to sublimate MUCH more of my rage over all the ways my body identity and personhood have been violated over the course of my life on levels both mental physical domestic and systemic into my writing by the way
#this does not mean we will be Seeing things on screen we don't need to#just that i am going to crank the dial and how much harrowingly visceral information can be conveyed -without- actually doing that#good horror will make a frame with seemingly nothing going on the scariest shit ever bc you Know. you cant see. but you Know.#the tragedy of 'my schizophrenia did not disable me but the PTSD from how i've been treated and taken advantage of bc of it DID'#'and SO MUCH of the WORST trauma was inflicted in the name of Fixing me (be it the mental illness or my gayness or my being a girl wrong)#and a lot of other things really but this is at the forfront of my mind as i finally finish recovering from a lot of repressed shit finally#boiling over to dangerously lethal levels last year and my entire brain just Imploded lmao#i dont know when i'll be able to really forgive my family for refusing to vaccinate or distance and transmitting covid to me twice#resulting in seizures and brain damage the second time#which basically hit a reset button on how well i could manage my pre-existing schizophrenic symptoms and damaged my cognition#i've had to mourn losing a big chunk of my own mind's ability to function focus or even remain anchored in reality because of that#oh yeah the transphobia my family still refuses to work on that and it also contributed heavily to the system shattering so bad#i finally realized that it even existed#some of the alters now have mutually exclusive genders and orientations presumably as weird coping mechanism
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jamietxrtt · 1 year
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1x09 all apologies is the best episode of the show actually
#particularly because of the way it focuses on ted and roy’s relationship#i LOVEEE their relationship in this episode#how ted refuses to get angry at roy even when roy wants him to#and promises his support and roy BELIEVES HIM AND TRUSTS HIM AND ACCEPTS IT#and the way roy gets angry at ted but then comes back calmer and apologizes#that very frank conversation they have in ted’s flat where they might disagree but they’re trying to make this#as easy as possible on each other#and then the end when ROY STOPS TO TOUCH THE BELIEVE SIGN AHHHH MY HEART#i just love how they may not always agree or see eye to eye#but regardless they’re always trying to do right by each other#and they’re both able to give and recieve support from each other#its a very affectionate kind of respect#i like you and i want whats best for you and im gonna try to make it happen in any way i can#despite the circumstances we face and the disagreements we might have#i just. love their friendship#part of why it bothers me so much that roy is suddenly so distant at the start of s2 :(#i kinda feel like they hit him with the reset button between seasons#like he spent s1 learning how to be part of a community and trust ppl#and stop being such a lone wolf#and learning to love ted#and it all pays off!!!#then s2 starts and suddenly he hasnt spoken to ted in months. hasnt been back to the team or anywhere near football in months#back to his lone wolf ‘i dont need friends im better than that’ ways#and he has to kinda relearn in s2 why he likes being a part of that community#and both helping guide but also accepting guidance himself#which like. i know its in some ways realistic that he’d backslide in that regard#especially when going through something so tumultuous as losing his career#but i dont find it super narratively satisfying to watch him go through basically the exact same arc again 2 inches to the left#anyway im very excited where he’ll go in s3 now that he loves the team and ted again! i hope they dont hit him with another reset button#all that is to say yes i love ted and roy’s friendship and mutual affection and respect and i hope we get to see more of it in s3
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mikiruma · 2 years
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i feel like ppl on the internet heard the phrase "if you only expect the worst then you're never disappointed" one time and made that their personal mantra they just HAVE to inflict on others
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buckyalpine · 6 months
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LMAOO OKAY IMAGINE 40s!BUCKY (like tfa stark expo version) MAGICALLY TELEPORTING TO MODERN DAY, and Sharon’s bitch ass is hanging all over him, flirting hardcore, and is absolutely thrilled bc he’s actually giving her some attention. BUT THEN HE SEES THE READER AND IS LIKE “oh wow who is THAT” and leaves her alone to go woo the gorgeous dame. I can picture her face getting all red and embarrassed and upset. And Sam and Nat and Tony are in the background giggling.
GOD I LOOOVEEE THISSSS 40's heart has my heart cause this blushing soldier would be such a perfect mix of devilishly handsome and adorably shy.
-
"Shit" Tony huffed watching his time portal experiment start up and fail for the fourth time in a row while Bruce continued to medal with the dials, resetting the machine once more. "Why does it keep doing that"
"Give it a secondary power source, there's not enough juice with the first one"
Tony nodded, rummaging through a pile of knick knacks on his desk, grabbing a vial and adding it to the generator.
"Alright, set the timer to 19:00 hours and 40 in the past. Let's see if we can just travel to yesterday first before messing with going back years" He snorted, as Bruce punched in the time before hitting the start up button. The machine started to rumble before growing hot, the dials and buttons spinning and clicking on its own, parts starting to pop off.
"Oh shit!" Tony ducked under the table, shielding himself from getting knocked out as the portal grew more powerful, a force filed growing, knocking down things around the lab.
"What the hell did you use as a power source?!" Bruce yelled over the high pitched whizz the machine started to make, blinding light filling the room before disappearing, leaving a cloud of smoke in its place.
"I don't know, I just grabbed something that look like it'd fit" Toy shrugged between coughs as the smoke dissipated, squinting when he realized the platform wasn't empty.
Someone was standing there.
"What the hell..."
Blinking with bright blue eyes was a young soldier, dressed in a fresh, clean and pressed uniform, looking like a lost puppy while Tony and Bruce blinked in both confusion and amusement.
"Banner what the hell did you do with the timer?!"
"You're vial set everything into over drive, it must've recalibrated to 1940 instead of a couple of hours ago!" Bruce threw his hands up while the younger version of Bucky stared at the lab with child like wonder, his eyes twinkling as if it were Christmas day.
"Holy shit..." He breathed out seeing the vast technology, his mind still reeling over what was happening. One minute, he was on his way to see Steve and take some girls dancing and next thing he knew, he was sucked through a loop.
"Dear God-alright, uh-Barnes?" Tony waved the soldier over, mentally debating on what to tell him.
"Mr. Stark? It's-it's an honor, sir" Bucky shook Tony's hand before standing tall before him with his back straight, ever the bright eyed Sargent. Tony scratched his head before letting him take a seat, figuring honesty was the best police.
"Sargent. This may take a while"
-
Bucky understood bits and pieces of what Tony explained to him while getting a tour of the compound, the common room being the last place for him to check out. The team alternated between greeting and secretly cooing over the adorable young Bucky while also simultaneously laughing at Tony. At the very least, the billionaire was lucky the actual Bucky was away on a mission with you and Steve; there was only so much he could handle in a day. The soldier decided to hang back in the living room with the others, happily chatting away with Sam and Nat.
Then there was Sharon
"Hey Soldier" She winked, giving him a smirk causing the young Bucky to blush, throwing her a flirty smile right back.
"Nice to meet ya' doll" Bucky drawled out making her giggle, his lip catching between his teeth when she flipped her hair back.
"Aren't you sweet" She whispered, her heart beating a little faster when he moved towards her, his sweet baby blues gazing down at her intently. She'd tried a million times to get Bucky's attention before and he didn't look at her twice. She wasn't about to lose her chance with the new one.
"Look whose talking" Bucky chuckled back, his naturally flirty nature taking over with ease, after all it would be rude for him to ignore her.
"Someone's gotta protect him from this randy she goat" Sam whispered while Nat snorted, watching the two of them continuing to flirt, Sharon's hands toying with the buttons on Bucky's uniform, making her way up to brush his collar.
There was no way she was going to just let the gorgeous soldier go.
The machine wasn't fixed any time soon so Bucky was given a room to stay in. He loved the feeling of modern day sweats, looking cute as ever in some comfy joggers and a cotton tshirt, his fluffy cropped hair always neatly brushed and face shaven.
He was a Sargent after all. He always looked his best, even in lounge clothing.
There hadn't been a day where Sharon left Bucky alone. She clung onto his side, practically crawling up his leg day in and day out while the others side eyed the situation, keeping an eye out for the innocent Bucky.
"So, what's a soldier like you doin' without a girl, hm?" Sharon teased, pressing her hand to his chest, loving the way Bucky flirted back with her while the both of them sat in the common room with a movie playing in the background. Tony, Nat and Sam glanced at each other, quietly watching from their place in the kitchen while the blonde continued to giggle and blush, running her finger's through his hair.
"How do you keep your hair so soft, Sargent"
"Well, I- woah"
Sharon frowned when the soldier stopped talking half way after something- or someone- caught his attention. His eyes grew wide, a classic boyish smile appearing on his face when he saw the prettiest dame he'd ever laid his eyes on walk by the living room, making his heart flutter.
"who was THAT" Bucky stared in awe, seeing her stretch her arms up, still in some type of modern tactical suit, rubbing sleep from her eyes and yet she was still one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen.
"Uh-excuse me" Sharon's face twisted watching Bucky stare are you like a love struck puppy, nearly jumping over the sofa so he could run and talk to you. He didn't take his eyes off you, practically swooning when he saw you pack away the gun from you holster.
"Huh-yeah, sorry-" Bucky mumbled, still focused on you, unbothered by the way Sharon's face was now red with embarrassment, seething at what he was doing.
"Look at this guy, he's not even hiding the fact that he's staring at y/n" Sam snorted while Tony and Nat snickered, watching the young Bucky watch you with heart eyes, "Aw man, he's got it bad"
"Hey y/n, looks like someone's got a little crush on you" Nat whispered, discreetly nodding to the living room. You nearly squeaked in surprise, seeing a very very young version of your boyfriend sitting on the couch, taking peeks over at you whilst ignoring the blonde who was still fighting for his attention.
"Tony, you did this, didn't you" You sighed while Tony smiled proudly, now fully invested in how all this was going to play out.
"I'll explain later. Go wash and change and you can talk to him"
As soon as you were out of the kitchen, Bucky scrambled to the group, cheeks tinted pink, bashful as ever, looking at the three smirking faces, wiggling their eyebrows at him.
"See something you like, soldier?" Nat prodded while Bucky nearly giggled, nodding.
"Who was that" He asked in earnest, truly curious to at least get your name.
"That would be y/n. I'll introduce you once she's back down. You might be her type, y'know" Sam winked knowing damn well he was your type. After all you were technically already dating. Bucky bounced on his heels, waiting patiently while Sharon huffed, refusing to move from her spot on the couch. You made your way back down after a shower to see an exited Sam and a shy Bucky along with a smug Tony and Nat.
"Y/n, meet young Buck" Sam smiled while you held your hand out, swooning at the way he shook it gently, throwing you smile few got to see, one he had when he got butterflies in his belly.
"Nice to meet you Sarge"
"Pleasures all mine, angel" Bucky whispered, leading you off to the living room to talk to you more, offering you a seat, wondering if you wanted anything to snack on or drink, forgetting Sharon's existence entirely. Sharon nearly opened her mouth to say something, immediately shutting it with a satisfied smirk seeing the other Bucky walk in followed by Steve. Hopefully he'd see his girlfriend was a cheating whore, flirting with someone else even if it was him from the past. Her brain wracked itself in hopes that this would all crash and burn while Bucky frowned the closer he got.
"What the fuck Stark" Bucky scrunched his face walking in on some punk flirting with his girl, only to realize said punk was a younger version of him.
"Relax, I'll fuse you two together" Tony shrugged while Bucky's face twisted again, grumbling when his younger self kissed you hand again, pulling you up for a dance while fumbling with a phone he'd just managed to figure out.
"They're cute" Steve grinned, nudging Bucky playfully while Bucky rolled his eyes, smiling to himself a little while later when you caught his eyes, throwing him a wink. You laid your head against the young soldiers chest while he swayed with you, unaware that he was being watched by everyone else, in his own world with just you in it.
"You better fuse us together" Bucky hissed, narrowing his eyes when you giggled at something that was whispered in you ear; Tony snorted with a shit eating grin on his face.
"Why Barnes, scared of a little competition?"
Before Bucky could retort, Sharon was up and walking with purpose, stalking right towards Bucky.
"Y'know they're both flirting hard, right? Aren't you two dating?"
Bucky wordlessly stared at her while the others looked at her with confusion, the desperation becoming embarrassing.
"Sharon, shut up" Sam deadpanned while her mouth gaped open and shut before storming off.
"Back to what I was saying. Scared, Barnes?"
"You should be the scared one" Bucky sassed back, knowing exactly what his younger self was capable of; he knew that innocent boyish charm did wonders when it needed to. That being said, even his past self recognized real love, gravitating towards his one true soul mate after just seeing her once.
He watched the two of you continue to dance and whisper, the young soldier tipping your chin up, eyes flicking to your lips, his soft pouty pink lips so close to yours, leaning down so he could press a kiss so sweet-
"Alright that's it, punk get your hands off her!"
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ayeforscotland · 2 months
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I know that there's a high chance that 'pro GenAI' folk who come on my blog are probably on the wind up, but it will honestly wreck havoc throughout the entertainment industry. But not really for the reason you think.
We're going to see the limits of this technology reached pretty soon, the cost of resources for the CPU/GPUs required, and the cost of energy will spike and this will bleed AI companies dry. Most of them are hemorrhaging money, only propped up by the silicon valley venture capitalists and tech megacorps that have invested in them. They will expect a return at some point and producing 60 seconds of nonsense footage isn't going to turn this into a trillion dollar industry.
Where this hits the entertainment industry, as we've already seen with games industry layoffs, is that there's a whole bunch of generational talent being purged because these companies are swept up in techbro hype.
Making whole teams and studios of talented people redundant and injecting a new work culture tied to GenAI will hit the entertainment industry massively. When the realisation hits that GenAI isn't going to replace human creativity, and there's no cultivated talent in the industry, we'll be hitting the reset button.
I do genuinely wonder what these techbro types will do when we hit 2027 and the quality of games has dipped massively. Or maybe they just don't care.
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wtfsteveharrington · 5 days
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take the upper hand | carmen berzatto x reader
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push the reset button we're becomin' something new
description: carmen berzatto is stubborn and anxious and doesn't always know how to express himself. your best friend drags you to a party that carmen knows you'll be at and he shows up to make amends and thank god he does because he saves you from dealing with some drunk asshole.
content warnings: angsty!! drinking/party scene, shitty drunk guy w/ a shitty guy mentality!!, reader gets hit on with one night stand suggestion tones, carmen's ready to swing, mentions of anxiety and jealousy. mentions of reader drinking. kissing, mentions of intimacy related scratches, some light smut references.
author notes: my first time posting something that isn't just smut!! also something that no one but me has read!! normally i always get a proof read, not today. but this idea has been rattling around in my ole noggin' for a minute now so here we are. reminder!! you are responsible for your own media consumption!! if this won't be your jam then there's tons of other fics in the sea (: ily thank you!
even if it's handcuffed i'm leavin' here with you
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
The last place you wanted to be tonight was some house party in Wicker Park. With Pitbull, of all artists, playing so loud in the basement that the floor upstairs was still vibrating. Everything was sticky and stinky and you did not wanna be here.
But your best friend was hooked on this guy from her gym. 
It didn’t help that Carmy recognized his name from high school and mumbled out some remark about, “Oh yeah, no Dave’s a pretty solid guy.” She was convinced it was a sign that they were meant to be. Not to mention she found his mom’s Facebook and a post from two years ago that included his birth time. The whole train ride over you listened to how compatible the two of them were and how much she loved that he was a Scorpio rising. 
She had begged you to come to this God forsaken party and help put in a good word for her. Something had her convinced that if you mentioned just how well you were getting to know Carmen to this Dave guy that he would hold your opinion of her in higher regards.
And sure, maybe there was a part of you that hoped Carmen would be here even while the two of you were feuding. He knew it was coming up but couldn’t promise he’d be off in time - Something you got quite used to. It normally didn’t bother you that he had so many late nights at the resturant but when it rains, it pours and now you’re stuck sitting next to the sink littered cups filled with what can only be best described as some sort of horrific finance bro jungle juice. A mix of 1942 and fresh pressed juice. 
Your nose wrinkles up at the smell but you’re quickly refocused at the booming sounds of Ethan Callaghan stumbling through the back door. Another man Carmy knew from high school but didn’t like as much. Something about always being too in-your-face. Though you were pretty sure he was close with the guy your best friend was currently hooking up with in some random bedroom down the hall. 
The second his eyes land on you there’s a lopsided smile being thrown your way as he tries to fluff his hair and stand up as straight as possible. He’s stumbling into the kitchen with a full drink in hand, droning on and on about how he was ‘just so jealous’ that your friend went into that bedroom earlier. How nice it must be to not end the night alone. No pleasantries at all, just right into the whole lonely and horny act that was grossing you out. 
No one particularly knew you and Carmy were together yet - He wasn’t the type who wanted to label right away and potentially mess things up and you weren’t the type to out your dating status to random drunken men either. Besides, you weren’t so sure that ‘I have a boyfriend’ would put an end to this pitiful man’s sob story. 
As if, on queue and manifested right out of thin air, Carmen rounds the corner and takes a second to soak in the sight in front of him. You’re sitting there with your eyes trained on the water bottle in your hands. Ethan’s yapping away about how pretty you are and how big his apartment is. An excellent view in Streeterville that you’d love to see with the best brunch place in town two blocks away blah, blah, blah. Your shoulders are hunched over, body leaning away from Ethan as he stands at the window watching his reflecting in the window above the sink. 
“Hey - Been looking for you.”
Carmen.
Your head whips around to the sight of his voice instantly. There’s a pang in your chest at the sight of him standing in front of you after you two had been apart for these last few days. He looked tired. Wearing a sweater he knows you love because he wants to look nice for you. God you wanted to run over and crash yourself against his chest. Screw the petty fight. Instead you’re stuck giving him a very pointed look, hoping he takes the hint to save you. 
He’d be lying if there wasn’t a split second where Carmen feared you were actually going to go home with this loser until he saw the panic and annoyance written across your face. Ethan’s laughing at the sight of him. “Hey, Dude. Think we’re all good here, yeah?” Oh he hates this dick. 
There’s a thick level of tension in the room as Carmen squares up his shoulders and steps further into the room. His eyes are trained on Ethan who clearly wasn’t expecting much of a fight out of Carmy. He stops when he’s standing between your knees, putting himself between the two of you. Something about the way he instantly turned possessive turned up a feeling deep in your stomach no matter how annoyed you still were. 
“Pretty sure someone out back was looking for you, Dude. It doesn’t seem like anyone in here wants you around. Now either you’re too fucking dense to realize it or you don’t care that you’re not wanted, but I’m here to let you know. So I suggest running out back and getting the fuck out of our hair.” 
Ethan’s clearly entertained while looking between the two of you, a playful glint in his eye. You’re silently begging him to walk away and find yourself bringing a hand up to put on the small of Carmen’s back. While you’ve never seen him actually fight, you’ve seen many scraps between him and Richie. Heard stories of him growing up and heard the Bachelor party story. 
You’re fine not having your own fight stories to tell. 
T-Pain is now blasting in the background and the contrast of people laughing and singing downstairs versus the situation you’ve found yourself in is making your head spin. The whole time your best friend is clueless and wrapped up in Mr. Scorpio Rising. She owes you big time. Like you’ve secured friend of the year already and she needs to throw a parade in your honor after going through this.
Ethan’s finally putting his hands up in the air, that shit eating grin still plastered across his features. “My bad, my bad. Didn’t know you were already claimed.” Claimed. Gross. Your fingers press into Carmy’s back, a silent plea to beg him not to escalate this even more. He’s laughing at the sight of the two of you before snagging a half finished bottle of vodka off the counter and backing up towards the back door. 
Carmen steps out from between your legs and follows Ethan to ensure he leaves. Shoulders pushed back, chest puffed out. You’d find the sight entertaining if you still weren’t so on edge. Carmen Berzatto, your protector. 
And sure, he’s probably just making this asshole someone else’s problem for the night but he doesn’t care. The main priority is getting you away from him and getting you safe. 
You catch the sight of his curls out of the corner of your eye when Carmen returns and instantly steel your spine. The shift in the air now that Ethan is gone was thick. He was a distraction from the distance between you two but now you’re preparing yourself for another argument when really you had no energy left to give it. There was a small worry that he’d think you gave Ethan any inclination that you were interested. Even though you two had been tense, there was never anyone else but you but him. Even if you’re too stubborn to drop that information just yet.
Carmen’s quiet. His heavy boots against the floor make your heart beat faster. Everyone had scattered out of the kitchen when he walked Ethan out of there but not before giving you two a nervous glance as they went. Some probably disappointed there wasn’t a fight if we’re being honest.
“Hey.” 
You don’t dignify him with a response. Crossing your arms over your chest and taking a sudden interest in the magnets that littered this guy’s fridge. Toying with the idea of putting the ‘Area 51 is for Lovers!’ magnet in your pocket. You figured you deserved something for going through this hell of a night. 
He stops himself once he’s reached your side, the silence awkward and thick in the air. Carmy’s hand is on your knee now, his touch not as firm as you’re used to. The whiplash of emotions once again not helping either of you know just quite where you stand. 
“M’still mad at you.” 
He winces but he knew it was coming. 
The two of you wallow in silence. Carmy’s just about to finally speak but someone stumbles in on the hunt for vodka, takes one look at the annoyance on your boyfriend’s face, before quickly muttering they’ll find it somewhere else. 
And you still won’t look at him. 
He’s grabbing at your waist now, pulling you from the counter and against his chest. You wanna protest but there’s still a buzz going through your body that makes it hard to think quick enough to push back. Plus God does he feel warm and smell so good.
Carmy’s walking backwards towards the fridge, waiting until his back is flush against it to slide down. Bringing down those magnets you wouldn’t stop staring at, family photos, whatever was in his way came with the two of you. He’s tugging you until you’re straddling his waist while he brings his knees up to support you. Grabbing a hold of your face, finally making you look at him and fuck he looks like shit close up. Dark circles, hair a little messier than he’d normally allow, a bit of fear deep in his eyes. 
“You gotta tell me how to fix this.” It’s all unfamiliar territory for him. There wasn’t exactly a good example set for him growing up to say the least. 
Four days ago Carmen watched as the barista at some coffee shop you wanted to go to flirted with you. That shit already annoyed him, but he tried to bite his tongue. Then your latte came out with a heart in the foam and you kept explaining that’s just how they all come out but he was jealous and possessive and didn’t know how to communicate that so instead the two of you fought in the car for an hour. It was so stupid and he’s been kicking himself in the ass ever since. 
The past four days you refused to talk to him and had done a good job at dodging the situation. Normally you two fight, you fuck, and then you pretend everything’s okay. The cycle was getting old and wearing you down.
Until now. 
You give a heavy sigh, reaching out to toy with the bottom hem of his shirt. Carmy really did look like it had been going through it so you’re throwing him a small bone. “Maybe not making me sit on a sticky floor would be a good start.” He’s muttering out this small laugh, thankful to hear anything coming out of your mouth let alone a joke, the sound vibrating against your fingertips and you hate how much it fills your heart. 
He waits for the rest. The other shoe to fall. Every ounce of laughter is gone when you finally collect yourself enough for - “Do you think we’re good together, Carmen?” You can feel him stiffen under you, his hands gripping at your waist because he needs something to give him some stability. 
A beat goes by. “I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Another beat, this time it’s Carmy who refuses to look at you. Eyes downcast and trained on your lap. “But I’m not sure I’m good for you.” You weren’t expecting that. 
Once again silence falls between the two of you, still toying with the hem of his shirt before you lean in to bury your face in the crook of his neck. Taking a deep breath that’s filled with his cologne, faint smoke, and just Carmen that you’ve grown to crave. “You just gotta learn to trust me, Carmen. Outta everyone in this world, I’m the main one who never wants to hurt you. Especially for some barista with a fuckin’ comb over.” 
You hoped he would laugh again, but the sound never comes. Instead you feel his arms go tight around your body, his knees coming up a bit more which makes you fully lean into his chest. He’s clinging to you, wishing so badly he knew what to say (or could let himself) say what he knows he needs to. Instead he’s just pressing a kiss ​​to your head, sighing into your hair. 
“I wanna be better for you. Just don’t know how.” 
The two of you cling to each other and fight to get as close as possible. The distance apart these past four days has left the both of you physically aching for one another. It’s been hours, days of a tense heart and checking phones for texts neither of you knew how to send. You press a kiss against his neck, leaning back just enough to grab his face in your hands and stroke your thumbs over his cheeks. 
“It’s scary for me too, y’know? This, us. You’re not alone in being scared but lashing out at me isn’t gonna solve anything. I’m not going anywhere, Carmy.” You take the first step in mending the relationship by leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. There’s a hand coming up to cup the back of your neck, holding you in place as if he’s still scared you’re going to change your mind and run off before he can realize it’s happening. 
He’s letting you take the lead and only deepening the kiss once he feels your hands slide under his shirt. Fingers trailing along the toned skin while Carmey licks your bottom lip. Your hands glide around his back where you’re able to trace over healing scratches left on the skin from your last night together. 
Your lips part and you take the lead once again, letting your tongue slide along his and giving a low moan into his mouth as you taste him. There’s the lingering taste of cigarettes mixed with black coffee and Carmen. Once again indescribable and simply him. His grip on you tightens up in response and you know if you’re not careful then you’ll end up disheveled and tangled up in the backseat of his car or bent over one of the sinks in a disgusting bathroom. Both options you refuse to pick over getting home and letting him properly make this up to you. 
Dragging your nails along the healing marks, Carmen starts to lose track of his kissing. His grip on your neck tightening a bit more, hips rocking up towards you against his better judgement. The motion’s getting needy and sloppy and you have to pull away much to both of your disappointment. 
Shaking your head and bringing your hands up to rest flush against his warm chest. “You’re not gonna fuck me on this nasty floor. I deserve better than this.” Which, of course you do. He just gets carried up when he’s wrapped up in you. He’s nodding in agreement but can’t stop himself from licking his own lips to chase the sensation of you.
He’s looking over your features, his heart picking up pace even more than he thought was possible anymore. “Think you’re meant to be my forever, y’know? Sometimes I look at you and it scares the shit out of me because I look ahead and-... It’s you. Kids sitting at a table in the restaurants doing homework. A honeymoon overseas where I get to drag you around different pasty shops and restaurants and we’ll find random art in flea markets to hang when we get home. Take photos that end up framed. It’s you. Always.” 
Now how are you supposed to be mad when he’s this open and honest. Unpacking a future you had thought only you considered so far. You hope this behavior sticks. It’s not easy for either of you, but it’s worth fighting through the learning curve. “Kids, huh? Multiple? They’ll be your harshest critics, Carmy. I dunno if you can handle their reviews quite yet.” He’s chuckling, shaking his head with a lazy smile. “No, not yet. But one day.” The promise of more between you finally putting an end to this discussion for now. You make a mental note to remember this moment when the two of you bicker in the future - No matter what there’s always more on the road ahead of you. 
Which makes you smile too. Wrapping your arms around his neck. “One day.” You reward him with one more kiss, knowing that’s all the two of you can risk before you end up sprawled out on this floor. 
Carmy’s desperate to keep the lightened mood. He’s giving it a moment for both of you to calm back down from kissing before playfully scrunching up his face. “God you taste like shitty tequila.” It works. You’re laughing and swatting your hand against his chest, feeling a bit lighter than you did when you walked into this place. “Carmen Berzatto be nice to me!” 
He’s beaming at you now. Bright, happy. 
It’s a stark difference from the funk you’d both been stuck in since this fight started. The sight makes your heart swell and you bring a hand up to push some curls back off of his forehead. Leaning in to press a kiss against the tip of his nose. 
“Lemme take you home, yeah? Get you some food on the way? Gotta make sure someone so pretty doesn’t wake up with a hangover.” He loves taking care of you in anyway you'll let him.
You nod and carefully start to shuffle off of his lap. Getting yourself to your feet before reaching down to help tug Carmen up to his feet. You catch as he adjusts himself in his pants, a flush blooming along his cheeks and down his neck. Stepping back in until you’re chest to chest with him, you press a line of kisses along his jaw. Rough stubble going away once you find his lips yet again. You hum against his mouth, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek. “You gotta shave in the morning, Carmy.” He’s nodding instantly, reaching his hand down into his pocket to fish out the car keys. 
There’s a notification lighting up your phone - Perfect timing. A simple “Gonna spend the night ;)” text from your best friend. You can’t help but to grin and roll your eyes, turning the phone around so Carmen can see the notification too. He’s laughing while sliding a hand into your back pocket and starting to lead the two of you out of the kitchen. 
“Yeah, remind me to tell Dave that his friend fuckin’ sucks.” 
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sameschmidtdiffname · 3 months
Text
Repentance
Billy x Gender Neutral! Reader
Tumblr media
('Burn' gifs are limited and this was hotter. Sue me.)
Summery: You know the phrase 'sleeping angels?' Yeah, not in this fucking house. Pretty soon it's gonna be you or him, but Billy may have a trick or two up his sleeve to provide a happy ending for you both
Tags: No use of Y/N, no specified genitals for Reader, prequel/standalone fic for 'My Ghost' but not required reading to enjoy this fic, ('My Ghost' may even be enhanced if you read this first, I'll be fr.) Porn with plot (if you are only here for plot, the porn is only in the second half and is easily skippable), snoring, Reader is sleep deprived, non-serious threats of violence, mentions of gun violence, banter, make-up sex, drug usage/alcohol consumption, Dom!Billy, Sub!Reader, Reader goes mostly non-verbal after smoking but their thoughts don't, dumbification, Reader gets spoiled and folds like a lawn chair me too bitch me too, massage turning into sex, doggy style, Reader gets that good dick that knocks their head into a wall, vocal! Billy, dirty talk/talking through it, pet names, possessive sex, mentions of wet dreams, happy ending for everyone :)
Other Works in This Series: 'My Ghost' (Original) • 'Lapses' (Sequel to 'My Ghost')
Notes: This was supposed to be a drabble and it was not gonna contain smut. What can I say, when the holy spirit of a short man with big brown eyes compels you, you compel him into your bitch. Anyways, this was inspired by this headcanon written by @g0ry0re0! So if you liked this fic, please thank her as well in the comments and go support her works because this wouldn't exist without it!! They're a fucking great writer as well.
                            -¤°》◇《°¤-
Have you ever killed a man?
I might.
Listen, I'm not a bitch. I'm not unreasonable even though that was a hell of an opening statement. But if you'd dealt with the shit I've put up with for the past few nights, you would understand.
How can a man who's not even that fucking large in stature make such noise? What the fuck is wrong with him?
I kick him to try and hit a reset button. It works for five minutes, which is long enough for me to begin to relax again. Right before his snoring revs up like the engine of that bike he loves parked on our front lawn. Maybe I'll run him over with it. Be poetic, take him out with his own weapon. Don't the reports show just how deadly motorcycles are compared to regular cars? It's bad for your health.
Okay, I'm assuming that bit because I'm tired, I'm cold, and Billy won't shut the fuck up. It was a little cute when he was just spending the night and we were hardly sleeping. But now that he actually lives here?
Kick. Stop. Wait. Snore.
Goddammit.
Billy has the fucking audacity to greet me with a smile this morning. Sitting at my fucking table, smoking from the ashtray I fucking made him. He should be ashamed to look so good with no shirt on, displaying his chest hair for the whole neighborhood to see as he sits near the open window with coffee set in front of him like he owns the damn place.
"Morning beautiful," he says with a smile. What fucking nerve does he have to sit there and act so happy about while I hate him?
"You snore," I growl. His eyebrows shoot into the air, this son of a bitch has the nerve to widen his smile.
"I'm sorry?"
"I said you fucking snore," I repeat.
"Don't think I've heard that complaint before," he says, shifting in his seat to look at me better. I don't like the way he looks in those sweatpants, grey and hugging the wrong areas for my attitude.
"You haven't dated anyone long enough for someone to complain about it," I mutter under my breath. His eyes focus on the oversized shirt I wear that alright, maybe I stole from the drawer I stash his things in that I now claim as mine. We live together, it's inevitable, fucking fight me. Watching me as I walk into the kitchen, taking the coffee pot off the dock and pouring some into my cup.
"Something I can do to make up for it, shirt thief?" He asks, leaning back in his seat and manspreading, his hands on his horribly thick thighs. "I was wondering where that one went," he mutters to himself, amused.
"Yeah. See a fucking doctor."
It's day five. I'm genuinely considering homicide.
Dear God, or Allah, or whoever you are. If I shouldn't suffocate this man, give me a sign.
...does the short snore that escapes Billy's mouth count?
It doesn't matter what I do. If I turn him onto his side, if I kick him, if I shove ear buds in and blast whatever music I can sleep to at max volume, he's louder and I'm on my last straw. It's him or me.
"William," I say, poking my head up from the old pillow.
No response.
Maybe it's safe.
Maybe he's dead.
Maybe he'll stay quiet.
I lay my head down once more.
"...what?"
"You fucking snore."
"I'm sorry baby," he slurs in half baked consciousness, turning to wrap his arm around my waist as he presses hot, open mouthed kisses to the back of my neck. "Can I make it up to you?"
"Yeah, let me sleep."
"Sleep is for the weak."
I am weak. I am very, very weak.
"Put your dick away."
"It isn't out."
"I can still feel it."
With a grumble and his face buried in my hair, he abandons his quest in favor of returning to whatever dreams make him keep me up at night. And I am so close to joining him when he starts back up hardly two minutes later. Right in my ear.
With a final huff, I tear the blanket off of him and stomp my bleary eyed way to the living room. Fucker is too sleepy to even notice. Fuck him.
I'm not amused when I wake up in the ungodly hours of the morning sprawled on the couch, Billy's foot in my face as early morning light peaks through the shitty blinds.
"You followed me," I groan, my voice rough with sleep.
"I followed blanket," he slurs.
"It's mine."
"I was cold."
"You snore."
"I've offered consolation, you should take it."
"William, have you ever shot a man?" I ask, bolting upright as I wipe the crust from my eyes.
"Fucking what?"
"Have you ever shot a man?" I repeat slowly, properly enunciating each word.
Billy's eyes dart to the side, then back to me, wide but still tinted from sleep.
"...no?"
"I've considered it," I tell him. "There's a gun in my nightstand. And if I don't get some sleep soon, I'm going to use it. I haven't before, but I can't imagine it's hard."
Billy presses his lips together in a thin line, knowing I'm not serious but that I'm on the last straw.
"... should I go back to bed?"
"I can go back to bed," I say. "You can stay on the couch."
"That's a great idea."
"I'll take the blanket."
"You do that."
It's only two hours later when I'm woken by the alarm, and the smell of sausage is fresh on the air. Even if it was short, the sleep in solitude feels refreshing, no interruptions from Yellowstone volcano on the other side.
When I wander into the kitchen he's in the midst of finishing his preparations for a feast. And by feast I mean a fuck load of eggs with sriracha on top and plenty of sausages to go with it. There's also a pile of toast, the bottle of homemade cinnamon sugar next to the stick of butter besides it.
"Morning beautiful," Billy tries carefully, eyeing me as I lean against the hallway doorframe. "Coffee's on the table."
Whatever I said earlier- which may or may not be blurry to me at this point -has clearly changed his attitude. He's even set out the hazellenut creamer for me, a treat.
"Did you sleep well?" He asks, setting a heaping plate in front of me. I don't know how to tell him I'm too sleepy to eat.
"Better," I say. I take a slice of cinnamon covered toast, trying to convince my stomach to wake up. "Kinda cold, though."
He smiles softly at that, setting down his own plate to join me. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." I return the smile, taking a small bite of the corner of my toast. He takes a sip of coffee and brushes his foot against mine under the table. The silence is sweet, apart from the radio just ever so quietly playing in the background to add to the calm morning atmosphere Billy has created for me. His hair is ruffled from sleep, his hand nervously fiddling with the thin chain around his neck. He glances at me, smiles apprehensively, then breaks the silence.
"Do you actually own a gun?" He asks, trying so hard to sound casual.
My brows furrow before I realize what he's referencing, letting out a loud laugh and almost dropping my toast in the process.
"I'm not gonna shoot you, Billy," I laugh, trying so hard to maintain my composure.
"Last night you called me William. I did not like that," he laughs nervously.
"William, I will not shoot you."
"My mother calls me that, I don't want you and my mom calling me the same name."
"Willy-"
"Fuck you," he groans, laughing. "You're terrifying."
"When I don't sleep," I add for him. He nods, eyes wide and brows raising in agreement. "Did you seriously make breakfast because you were worried I owned a gun?"
"When you meet the devil, you meet demands," he says. I kick at his foot playfully, giggling.
"The devil doesn't really eat breakfast."
"I know, I packed lunch too."
Fuck free will, I should've done the gun thing a long time ago. When I walk back into the ramshack house that evening fresh off my shift, Billy has dinner, a bowl and a bath prepared for me upon my return.
"I did not take your comments seriously and I'm sorry," he says genuinely, taking my coat. "I should have and you have suffered. Consider this repentance."
"Repentance is nice. You hide the gun too while you were at it?" I ask.
"I'm not answering that."
Billy may be many things, and a cook is one of them. It's simple, fresh, and nice after a long day. The backrub I'm getting while I eat makes the flavors even sweeter.
"I feel an urge to clarify my threat was not serious," I joke between bites, taking a sip of the wine Billy had run out and gotten special for the night.
"I'm well aware, but this is overdue anyways," he says softly. "You're mine and you deserve nice nights." He presses a warm kiss to the spot just under my ear, making me blush. "My baby needs spoiled."
"Well, I certainly feel spoiled," I say contently, finishing the last bite. I lean back in my chair, letting him explore my neck as his gentle hands work their way through my many knots, whispering sweet nothings in my ear all the while.
"Wait until I tell you what kinds of oils I slipped in your bath as well," he whispers in my ear.
If this is repentance, he should snore more often.
I'm stoned, zoned, and completely naked across the bed as Billy carefully massages my legs, phone propped on a spare pillow beside my head as I stare blankly at the show in front of me.
His hands are slick with oil, gliding across my skin with ease as he works at a knot on the back of my calf.
"I've been ignoring you too much," he muses, his voice soft and loving as his thumbs work in small circles. "You're much too tense for my taste."
I am too stupid to respond with English. I will tell him later about the day I've had at work, running around for fifteen different customers and a boss I can hardly stand. But for now a low moan will do, my mind too blurry from substance use and the stimulation that makes me dizzy with want.
"Does that feel good?" Billy asks, pressing a small kiss against my shin. I moan again, eyes fluttering shut. "Wanna make sure my baby sleeps well tonight."
Oh, I'll sleep phenomenally.
His hands abandon me, searching for the bottle of lavender scented oil, coating his hands before reaching for the back of my thighs, right below the curve of my ass.
"How's the show?" He asks me, digging deeply into my tissue in a way that makes me moan, arching my back subconsciously as the stimulation takes over my thoughts. "That good?" He asks, voice deep as he chuckles.
"Very good," I confirm, my voice soft against the freshly washed bedsheets. I have never said a bad thing about this man. I would never curse the provider of relaxation. Any claims otherwise are false and slandering against me and my man.
"You're grinding against the bed, you realize that, right?" Billy asks bemused, his thumbs drawing deep circles against the inside of my thighs, making me gasp in want. "There something else you want?"
Whatever strain he has given me has made me nonverbal, but the squeak I let out is answer enough. For me, anyways.
"I need words, baby. Words. Vague noises are not consent," he says softly.
"Motherfucker that noise was not vague," I snap, lifting my head up briefly before resuming my mindless appreciation against the bed. Billy's laugh echoes throughout the room, his hand lightly smacking my ass before reaching for the small towel and bottle of lube on the nightstand, wiping off his hands before squeezing a generous dollop onto two digits.
His fingers press against my entrance slowly, coating it with the thick, cold lube, making me squirm and gasp against him, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
"I'm gonna start off slow, okay baby?" He says gently, still stroking my entrance as he positions himself above me. "You let me know if you want me to change something."
I moan in understanding, but it's not enough for him. His voice is low and rumbling by my ear, his lips teasing at my shoulder.
"Say yes if you understand," he says softly, breath hot against my ear.
"Yes," I say just as soft.
"Good," he praises, pressing a soft kiss to the back of my neck. "Good baby."
His cock slowly sinks inside of me, the pot from earlier making the sensations deeper and more vibrant as I feel the sweet stretch even at the top of my head. Billy moves slow, taking his time to enter me as though we had all the time in the world. I can't help but pant against the bed, whining for more intelligibly as Billy sheethes himself to the hilt, pressing himself against my g-spot just perfectly at this angle, no real effort needed when I'm like this. My eyes roll at the touch, my hips bucking in uneven, stupid rhythms against him as he remains still inside of me. Fuck it, he could snore in my ear right now and I'd let him.
Billy's voice is breathy, moaning as he brushes my hair with his hand. "Let me know when you want me to move," he moans in my ear.
"I am," I whine. "Fuck me."
He chuckles against me, his voice rough as he continues in a slow, even rhythm. "You don't want to go slow first?" He asks, pressing a kiss to my spine as he slowly slides against my spot again, his cock making me clench tightly around him.
"Uh uh," I moan, still trying to buck rapidly against him. "Want more."
"You usually get so overstimulated if I start fast at this angle," he teases, ignoring the pace of my hips in favor of his. "Can't even finish fucking you if I start out fast, you're so sensitive by the end."
That's a lie. Terrible lie. Slander.
"Do you really want me to go fast?" He asks softly, one hand finding my hip to guide me to a better rhythm.
"Motherfucker, yes," I whine, lifting my head. He chuckles, much to my annoyance. "Fuck me like you own me."
At that he grabs my hips, slamming me against his base before he begins to violently abuse my hole, fucking directly into my g-spot and never missing once as he fucks me hard enough to make the bed slam into the wall, making a painting rattle on the wall behind us.
"Jesus- fuck- wait!" I cry, my hips subconsciously trying to escape his abuse while I clench around him, silently begging for more.
He slows his pace once more, pressing such soft, sweet kisses to my spine as he speaks. "See? You can't handle it like that. You're half fucked out already and that wasn't even five seconds."
He's absolutely right and I should listen to him more. How wise is my man.
"If I was really fucking you like I owned you," he says lowly between slow, long thrusts, his hands guiding my hips gently as I whimper with each move like the bitch I am. "I'd pick the pace. But here you are, telling me what to do and changing your mind the moment I give it to you. So indecisive is my baby." Very indecisive. Go fast again. "And I'll do whatever you want like a good man should."
I will stay home with the kids. I will scrub my permanently stained linoleum floor until it shines like the top of the Chrysler building. I will spend my days barefoot and pregnant if he so requests of me. In Jesus's name, Amen.
Billy moves slow and purposefully against me, grinding his cock and moaning in my ear while he watches me, smacking my ass here and there when he wants to watch it bounce against his hips.
"So pretty," he moans. "Even prettier when you cum. Is there something I can do to help?"
I whine against the bed, feeling edged and whoreish with his thick dick pulsing inside of me, fucking me into blind submission and making me willing to do anything he says.
"Would someone like for me to go faster?" He coos sweetly, slightly speeding up his tempo as he slams more gently into my spot. "Does my baby wanna get fucked?"
I nod stupidly, whining and huffing as he slowly continues to gain speed.
"You gonna cum around me? Take my cock real nice and fast?" He asks, smacking my ass once more. I clench upon impact, making him do it again and again until he laughs.
"Cum in me," I moan. All care has been thrown out the window, my head scrambled and vision blind.
"Yeah? You want that?" He teases. His balls smack loudly against my front, offering additional stimulation and making my eyes roll. "Looks like you're drooling over it." Motherfucker I am, and?
"I'm gonna fuck you so good you sleep for days, sweetheart," he moans in my ear, slamming into me hard enough to make me squeal. "Kept dreaming about you for the past week. Kept getting all nice and hard only to have you wake me up before I could fuck you. Come to find out I was keeping my poor baby up, being my own cockblock."
His cock pistons in and out of me at impressive speed, one of his hands slamming against the bars of the metal headboard to offer him stability while he fucks me, the bed ramming against the wall so loudly it's all I can hear besides him. I think the painting fell.
"Now we can both sleep better at night. My balls empty, your ass nice and full. Think I'll do it again tomorrow," he muses, slamming me against the bed, pushing me higher. "And again." And higher. "And again." Until the top of my head pounds against the ceiling. "Till the fucken cows come home."
Moo, bitch. Moo.
With a pathetic scream, hardly able to make any noise due to the violent climax, I cry his name as I clench around him. His dick pounds my head into the wall absuively as he chants my name like it's the only word ever known to him, his voice raising in volume until he's shouting it so clear it raises above the rocking of the bed, loud enough surely for the neighbors to hear. I'm hardly even aware of when he cums, or really anything at this point, his dick pulsing within me and fucking his admittedly larger than usual load into me so deep you'd think there'd be no chance of it to escape. I'm only aware he came when his cock finally softens, our cum dripping and pooling underneath of me in a mixed puddle when he slips out with a small whimper, his breath so heavy and wheezing I'm almost scared he'll pass out on top of me.
"Wanna go again?" He jokes, his voice worryingly pathetic as he tries to laugh, sounding more like a death rattle than anything. All I respond with is a shaky thumbs down, my head spinning from the possible concussion I may genuinely have.
It's an effective sleep method. Works wonders for both of us.
                              ▪︎》◇《▪︎
After he slips out of the house one winter morning with my gun tucked in the back of his jeans, I can't tell you how much I'd give to hear him snore against our lavender scented bed one last time, feeling his arms that are now ash and bones on the floor of a gas station just outside of town. My only company now being his ghost echoing his bright laughter down the darkened halls of what was once our home.
You like my ending bbgirl? Special just for youuu.
Taglist:
@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3
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How about reader, who is a seasoned gamer, invites Gaz to play something like Valorant or Fortnite etc. She says "dw it took me a while to get good too" but he picks it up stupid quick. He spends the rest of the time enjoying winding her up more than the actual game.
absolutely absolutely. gaz can and should get away with everything.
1,833 words / lucky number 13
...
"Gaz... you know most people play video games to escape their responsibilities."
"So you've told me." Gaz's voice crackles over your headset.
You're staring at your screen, watching as he confirms his character selection in the game's lobby. "You're absolutely sure you want to play tank?" you ask him.
He locks in his character, and it appears in the pregame lobby: a bald-headed, square-jawed guy with a muscular build and heavy armor.
"Positive. You're playing healer, aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Then I'm playing tank. Pocket me."
"You've never even played this game. We'll both get obliterated."
"Come on. How hard can it be? Shoot, use ability, reset. I take the damage; you heal me; I dish it back out; we win; you thank me for carrying you as always. It's just like our usual game."
"Repeat that last one. I think your mic cut out on account of the bullshit."
"You don't think I can keep the heat off you?"
"I don't need you to keep the heat off me. I just want you to have fun and not die in the first five seconds of the round," you tell him. He did buy this game specifically to play it with you. After a totally reasonable amount of prodding on your part. It's been your go-to for weeks.
"Then pocket me and I won't die. I'm not having fun if I'm not in the thick of it. You know me."
"Fine. For one game."
"Bet," Gaz says, sounding smug about it. "I'm not gonna disappoint."
During that first game, he's getting his bearings. But he takes to it rather intuitively, especially with your help over voice chat. His tactical skills are whip-sharp as always. As you pocket him, you focus your character's abilities on keeping Gaz alive. But you switch to upping his damage output when you realize he's holding down a choke point by himself, taking on enemies and laying out a field of fire for your team. It's impressive, considering this is his first time playing the game.
When an enemy sneaks up on you, his pocket healer, he disposes of them with slightly more prejudice.
"You're pretty good at this," you tell him, scanning the results screen. "I mean, maybe mid-tier if you were on your own."
"Mid-tier?" he says, a little affronted. "It's called being adaptable. Not that you'd know. Hundreds of hours in this game and you're mid-tier support at best."
You cross your arms, leaning back in your computer chair. "Because I don't play support. You know what? I'm switching to DPS. See what you carry without me patching your ass up every ten seconds."
Back in the lobby, you select your main. Gaz eyes the character with a bit of respect. "A rogue, huh? You must think you're pretty good. Gonna need a lot more healing."
"Only if I get hit."
"I could sponge that damage right up for you. Keep you nice and safe."
You scoff. "Won't need it."
"Let's see."
In the next round, you weave in and out of combat, gleefully dodging attacks and landing devastating blows before you disappear. Your bread and butter. Meanwhile, Gaz does--at worst--an admirable job tanking. Still, when you look back and see enemies surrounding him, it's clear he could use an assist.
You double back and flank two of the enemies on him, picking them both off one by one. But before you can gloat, his voice in your headset interrupts you.
"Good kills, baby."
That's not the reaction you wanted. It immediately ticks you off. "I know."
He chuckles and takes down another enemy. He's tunneling in on the fight now that you've got him back on his feet, but clearly he still has time to talk to you. "Can't take a compliment."
The face that he's purposely pushing your buttons just irritates you more.
The next few games, he makes himself indispensable as a tank. It should be a good thing, but he keeps getting in your way specifically. You'd swear it's on purpose. He tanks hits for you and then acts like you'd lose the game without him. His cockiness is insufferable. Worse--you can't ignore how deftly he's scaling the difficulty curve here. He's holding the attention of the enemy players, keeping them away from you while you deal the damage. And you'd never admit it, but the way he's holding aggro is saving your ass.
You shouldn't need him to do that, though. You tell yourself the only reason you're not playing better is because he's forcing you to maneuver around him.
Then he offs the enemy rogue right as you're finishing her off. You swear into the mic. "Gaz, come on! You stole my kill."
"I'm giving my little rogue the help she needs. Besides, you know it's not about getting the most kills. It's about the team's collective score," he teases, and you have to remind yourself it's just a game.
It's like he can tell exactly what to do to piss you off in record time after that. Bossing you around, telling you to take this point or make that kill. He even pipes up once to remind you it'd be a good time to use your ult. You open your mouth to tell him it's not ready yet, but to your chagrin, you glance down and realize it is. Somehow he's keeping track? Unreal.
You're a little impressed about that one, but you'd never tell him. In your defense, he's distracting you with all this banter and teasing. He's making it hard to focus.
"No backseat gaming," you tell him.
"Wouldn't have to backseat game if you played better."
"I would be playing better if you weren't crowding me!" You sigh out your nose. "You're only doing this to get a rise out of me. Micromanaging me. I swear you get off on it."
"You're giving me too many opportunities to obsess over you." He sounds smirky.
The way he says it makes something in your lower stomach flip. You lose focus for half a second--long enough for the enemy rogue to slip past Gaz and smack you.
Gaz slams into her with his shield to stun her, then spins around and uses his special to deal more damage. That last hit downs her. You don't even have a chance to react.
His voice in your headset is smug still. "Like I said."
"Fine. Thanks."
"You can thank me by not dying again."
After the game, you sit back in your chair, arms crossed. "You sure talk a lot of shit."
"Am I?" You hear him grinning. "I hoped you'd give me a little more attitude than that."
"Oh, I know. You're not subtle."
"Neither are you. You get riled up so easy."
"You want me to fight you? Because it sounds like you'd rather me just roll over and bite the damn curb."
"No, you want that. You're a masochist."
"Thank you."
"It isn't a compliment."
"I know. Keep bullying me," you snark into your mic.
It's hard to resist teasing you when you say stuff like that. "Okay," he says, his tone turning playful. He leans back, crosses his legs, and situates himself in his chair. The game's results screen idles on his monitor, forgotten. "You've gotta stop making it so easy for me, though."
"I get that a lot."
"I'm sure you do, sweetheart."
"Ooh, are we doing condescension now?"
"I've been condescending to you since minute one. I can turn it up if it's not obvious enough."
"Keep going and I'll get off."
"Off voice chat, you mean?"
You smirk. "No."
He smiles, rolling his shoulders back. "I can absolutely be more condescending to you if that's what your incompetent little heart desires."
You laugh. "You were just waiting to bring that one out, weren't you?"
"I've got several of them tucked away just in case you got mouthy, But let's be honest--you're always mouthy."
"You're one to talk. You talked hella trash that last match."
"Only because I had to pull your ass out of the line of fire all the time. If you were better, I wouldn't have to. You're giving me ammunition, here."
"I just think it's telling that you play tank."
"Are you saying I'm compensating for something?"
"You said it. Not me."
He rolls his eyes, smirking. "You want to talk about projecting? You're the masochist, and you play a rogue? The one class known for being fragile? You're putting a target on your own back. What does that say about you?"
"Better than a tank main," you quip.
"I'm taking all the hits so you can DPS your way to getting play of the game. Makes me sound proper generous."
You examine your nails. "Makes you sound like a control freak."
"Why don't you look me in the eye and say that? Turn on your cam."
Your grin widens. "Gaz, please. If I turned my webcam on every time some guy online asked me to, I'd never have time to play."
He leans forward, lowering his voice. "Who says I'm kidding? Come on, baby. Give me eye contact. Look me in the eye and tell me I'm a control freak."
"Nope." You know he hates that you're not budging.
"Why? Aren't you decent?"
"More like I have Cheeto dust all over my hands."
"Doubt that."
"It's true."
"Come on. Prove it."
"See? Control freak."
"Fine, I'm a control freak--withyou. But you like it, don't you?"
"Oh, I love when you order me around. I love knowing exactly what you want me to do so I can avoid doing it forever."
He sits back in his chair and stares through his screen. It's not like he's never seen your face before. You've posted a selfie or two in shared chats. But he's never seen you cozied up in your pajamas. Or in a cute little robe. Or maybe a big t-shirt, the soft kind. Like he wears.
Yeah, he's realizing he's down bad. Worse than he thought.
"You wanna make the next round more interesting, then?" he asks.
You arch a brow, propping your sock-covered feet up on your desk. "Like how?"
"You lose, you turn on your camera, obviously."
You snicker. "I don't know what you think I get up to on a Friday night, but you're gonna be sorely disappointed." You pop another Cheeto in your mouth, knowing he'll hear it crunch.
Gaz laces his fingers behind his head. "I've already curbed my expectations. Bet you're sitting around in sweats and a hoodie with some anime character on it." Not that the thought of that isn't appealing. He suspects you don't let many people see you that way.
"You're... uh..." You look down at what you're wearing. "Not far off, actually."
"I know, baby. I've seen your Discord handle."
"So what if I win?"
"Then I won't tell anyone how hard you got stomped these last few rounds. And trust me, I'd be telling everyone. It's embarrassing how much of a load you were. Don't take that the wrong way, though--by all means, just sit there looking cute while I carry this next game."
"Oh, you're on."
Gaz grins, leaning forward. "Yeah, we'll see how cocky you are when I put you back in your place."
You pull your chair back up to your desk, hands poised over your mouse and keyboard. "Promises, promises."
Gaz readies up, too. "Don't worry, baby. I'll keep my word. But once I humble you, you're gonna regret ever doubting me."
...
more Gaz / masterlist tag
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ghouljams · 10 months
Note
Omg I LOVE your konig!cowboy story, it's entertaining just how dumb bee is around this whole farm life, but what if she wasn't really that stupid? Like imagine konigs computer completely shuts down, and he's not the most tech literate but bee sees the problem and goes full city slicker tech bro mode and fixes it in no time, showing she is in fact competent, just not about her current life
Congratulations on unlocking Bee's expertise.
This is almost exactly what I had in mind when I was trying to figure out how she could just up and move and do wfh and generally have no clue how to own a farm. I think she's 100% a tech jockey of some kind, maybe a little bit of a hacker type. She's very smart but only about her areas of expertise.
König's laptop is open on the kitchen table when you drop by, the blue screen staring at you like an angel of death. You wince a little. You hope he wasn't working on anything important. You set your fabulously not failed cookies on his kitchen counter and pull out the chair in front of the computer.
"König, you mind if I poke around on your computer a little?" You call, straining to hear any movement before he pokes his head into the kitchen. He narrows his eyes at the computer for a moment, and damn you've never seen someone think so long about having their tech salvaged. "I won't check your browser history or anything if that's what you're worried about, just wanna get it running again."
König makes a noise of surprise and embarrassment. "I am not worried about that!" He sputters, which tells you he actually was worried about that. You shrug and flex your fingers a little. "Don't poke around too much." He relents, you grin, men are all the same.
"I'll stick to drivers and operating files only," he gives you a blank look, you press a few command keys to pull up your favorite little black box, "I'll just get it back to working."
You spend a few minutes manually filling in code and resetting the garbled muck that's filling your neighbor's computer. It's not too bad but he's got a nasty worm that seems to have been installed through a lousey torrent. You wipe the last few installs as best you can, calling König over to translate every so often. It's bad enough reworking an operating system in English, you're losing your mind trying to parse German files.
Eventually he finds a chair to sit next to you and watch. You pull your feet up onto the chair, your posture atrocious as you concentrate.
"I don't even know what half of this is," You grumble, staring at what looks like a matrix of some sort, a really sparse one.
"Which one is giving you trouble," König follows where you point on the screen, eyes narrowed against the brightness as he reads through named files, "Ah, this is security."
"Your place has security? We're in the middle of nowhere," You shoot him a look, he hums half agreeing, "I'll leave it."
"Braves Mädchen," he breathes, "you're very good at this."
"I hope so, can't exactly fall back on farming." You grumble, fingers working to finish your repairs to Königs frankly ancient laptop. This thing is going to be running marathons when you're done with it. Probably best to avoid any major changes to the OS though, König doesn't seem like he'd be willing to learn new shortcuts.
This is good though, you feel like you're paying him back for helping you out so much. Especially when you hit the button for the final restart and everything springs to life with a pleasant chime. You smile at your work, typing in König's shitty password to check that everything is working alright. You check the time, updating the clock to the correct time zone.
You stop, dread making your stomach roll. Is it really that late? "We were supposed to see a movie," You frown. König shoos your hands off the keyboard and shuts his laptop, it rings like a death bell on your ever present forgetfulness. "I'm sorry, I didn't even realize, and now we've missed it," König raises a hand to stop your apology.
"I don't mind," He's so sweet, his eyes smiling at you over his bandana, "I enjoyed watching you work, it was very... informative." You offer a hesitant smile, that's certainly one way to put it.
König watches you straighten up from your position over the computer, knees dropping from where you'd pulled them up by your chest as you arch your back to stretch out the kinks. The satisfied little noise you make at the quiet pop is going to bounce around his mind for a while yet. The same way your focused stare and the silent movement of your lips as you read will stick with him.
He would have asked you for help sooner, but there was too much about you on that laptop to be safe. Still, your discretion was a credit to your professionalism. Although your flagrant dismissal of what you must have thought were his porn habits was... telling. How many men have jumped to get their computer out of your hands?
"I better go home, gotta feed the critters and all." You stand, grabbing your bag from the floor, "Thanks for letting me fix your computer."
"Of course," König stands as well, walking with you to the door, "Danke Schön, hummelchen." He tells you quietly, holding the door above your head.
"Bitte schön, König," your pronunciation is hesitant, but still leaves him wide eyed staring down at you, "I Googled a few basics." You explain, as if that could be the reason for his silence.
"I see," König tries to keep his voice from sounding too tight, thinks he even succeeds at it, "Then, Gute Nacht."
"Gute Nacht!" You reply enthusiastically, giving a wave as you turn to leave. His fingers tighten on the door, grabbing something other than your throat. If you were going to speak his mother tongue so prettily, you should have at least warned him. Maybe then he wouldn't have to close the door half hard. You are going to be the death of him.
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Text
requests: “remus on a first date with shy reader?” and “maybe Remus lupin with a plus size reader? just if you’re comfy with it of course! thanks!”
fluffy 🐈 first date
pairing: Remus x reader
tags / description: shy! reader, plus size! reader, anxious! reader, reader insecurities, but these in a somewhat toned down way; sweet and fluffy; first date, first kiss; not proofread, sorry!
word count: 1.9k
Why couldn’t he have asked you out during winter?
You’re standing in front of the mirror, finishing fixing your hair for your date, but you can’t help but keep glancing down. Your arms are bare; your top is loose, but somehow your sides manage to look chubby anyway. 
But it was so bloody hot out. You were not going to put yourself through a miserable time just to cover yourself up. Besides, you’d known Remus a while, had mutual friends. He knew what you looked like. And he’d asked you out anyway. 
At least, you think he had. You’d been sure in the moment, but afterward, when you started overthinking (and panicking), you’d begun having doubts this was a date. He’d asked you to “hang out” on Saturday, but he had clarified that he meant just the two of you. You’d been too shy to ask any further questions.
You try to exhale the negative thoughts away, and right as you go to check the time, you hear a knock at your door. Your stomach drops — whether in nerves or excitement, you’re not sure. When you open it, Remus’s brilliant smile intensifies the feeling. “Hi.”
“Hi,” you whisper back. You step out of your place but trip on the threshold. Remus quickly catches you, one of his arms snaking around your middle.
“You okay?” he chuckles gently. His hand lingers on your side even after you’re steady, and the self-consciousness butterflies war with the lovestruck ones.
You’re mortified at how quickly you’d managed to be awkward. Your cheeks burn, and you wish desperately you could hit a reset button like you did the many times you imagined this scenario in your head.
“‘M fine. Sorry,” you smile shyly, unable to look him in the eyes.
“’S alright.” He sounds kind, at ease. “You ready?”
You nod and follow him outside. As soon as the hot sun hits you, you’re grateful for your outfit. There’d been too many other times you’d endured the heat instead, and you’re glad with your progress of loving and taking care of yourself as you are. Without thinking, you smile at yourself at the thought. You’re startled by Remus’s chuckle next to you. His eyes on you burn more than the summer weather.
“What?” you manage.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head, smiling all the while, “that smile was just adorable is all. I’d love to know what’s going on in your head to make you smile like that.”
Ironically, this completely erases your smile. You know it’s impossible, know he’s trying to be sweet; but even still, the embarrassment is overwhelming. 
“What?” You hear the new tension in his voice. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no, sorry, I - I just,” you wince at your awkwardness, “I’m just being stupid.”
“Don’t say that.” Gently, playfully, he bumps your shoulder with his. “You’re great.”
“Thanks,” you respond, but you sound sarcastic. “You are,” he repeats. 
You’re tense but smiling when you ask, “So where are we going?” “It’s a surprise,” he chuckles. “It’s kind of weird. But I saw it and thought of you. Not that you’re weird! I mean, you’re weird in a special way. I mean, I think it’ll be fun. For you. For me as well! Just getting to hang out with you is fun for me, obviously,” he rambles quickly, cringing at the end.
There it is again: “hang out.” What did that mean?
At your silence, he goes on, “Fuck, sorry, I’m just a bit nervous, you know?” He laughs mirthlessly. “You’re nervous?” you reply before you can think about it. “Why would you be nervous? I’m the one who should be freaking out. And am, by the way.”
“Oh, and you have a monopoly on first date nerves, do you?” he shoots back playfully.
“So this is a date?”  Again, it’s out of your mouth before you really realize what you’re saying, and when you do, you’re terrified you’ve asked. His eyes wide, his hand messing with his hair, he replies, “Of course.” Then after a beat, “I mean, I thought it was. If you want it to be, that is…”
“I do!” Too loud. Shit. “I do,” much softer.
“It’s a date then,” he concludes, smiling. You nod. 
Your walking together eases your nerves as you go. Something about the motion, the not having to look at him directly, brings you solace. You’re already worrying about how that’ll change when you reach your destination, but you try to push that away and enjoy the easy chat along the way. 
You love talking to Remus… which is saying a lot. People make you nervous. And Remus isn’t just people. He’s smart, kind, funny, attentive, unreasonably attractive people. But something about the way he listens assuages your anxiety rather than exacerbates it. He makes you feel heard and seen. But never in a way that makes you feel judged. And you love hearing what he has to say in return. Conversation with Remus could be so many things: fun, thought-provoking, surprising, comforting… but never upsetting.
He turns off the high street into a cute side street and stops in front of a surprising establishment. It’s a café. A cat café. 
He looks nervous as he watches for your reaction. Maybe he can’t read it, because he starts another nervous ramble: “We can go somewhere else if you’re not into it. I just thought, well, you know, I know you like cats. And coffee. And not so much talking to people. So, if you got nervous, you could just pet the cats or something. I don’t know. Maybe it was stupid, I just —” 
“I love it,” you interrupt. “You do?” The relief plasters itself across his face. 
“I love it,” you repeat, laughing now. “You’re right. About all that. Everything you just said. And you’re the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met for thinking it.” Your warm smile comes easily now, and the adoring one he gives you in return makes you shyly look away.
He grabs your hand and walks in.
The place is shockingly cosy yet spacious. And crawling with cats. A friendly black cat rubs itself against your leg, and you can’t think of a possibly better first date.
The seats are ridiculously comfortable, and only a couple of minutes in, an adorable ragdoll sitting near you lets you coax him into your lap. He’s incredibly soft, and his purring makes you feel at ease. 
Remus smiles at you, watching you pet the cat, never demanding more attention, but always easily continuing the conversation. He tells you stories, listens to yours, asks you questions, and all the while giggles at the cats’ antics and cuteness. 
He stops petting the cat lounging next to him to take a sip of his tea, and she scolds him, rubbing her head aggressively on his leg. Remus laughs and obliges, and the responding purrs warm your heart.
“She likes you,” you say. “Yeah,” he smiles, petting her. “Not as much as that one likes you,” he chuckles, nodding toward your lap, where your new friend had fallen asleep snuggling you. “He’s got good taste.” 
You give a sincere but strained smile, and not knowing what to say, go to drink some coffee. Your nerves distracting you, you clumsily knock over the cup, spilling some on the cat by Remus. Startled, it hisses and jumps across Remus to get to the ground, scratching him in her hurry across.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You reach over to try and help somehow, but there’s not much you can do, and your hands just dance around him awkwardly. “I’m sorry; I’m so, so sorry,” you keep chanting. 
“It’s fine, really.” “Oh my god,” you mumble, covering your face with your hands.
“Hey, it’s fine; it’s okay,” Remus reassures you, and you feel his hands come to yours. 
He brings your hands away from your face and holds them in his, his thumb running back and forth on your skin. “It’s okay. It’s not a big deal,” he tries to calm you. You want to believe him, but you feel horrible, and another look at the freshly bloody scratch on his arm makes you wince. He sees you looking at it, and releasing one of your hands, he brings his up to your chin, raising it so your eyes meet his. “I’m fine, lovely. It’s just a scratch,” he smiles. “I don’t think it’ll even leave a scar,” he looks down at it. “But, hey, if it does, I don’t even mind. I’ll love to have a reminder of our first date,” he laughs. 
“Yeah, of how I ruined it all,” you retort sadly. “Ugh, it’s not surprising, of course I did,” you look away despite his hand gently holding your chin. “It’s only surprising you wanted it to be a date in the first place.” 
“Hey, hey, hey,” he shushes you gently. “Please stop.” You do, but keep looking down, feeling on the verge of tears. “Hey, look at me, love. Please.” You manage it. “Of course I wanted to be a date. How could I not? Don’t you realize by now I love spending time with you?” “You love spending time with all your friends.” As your insecurities surface, the tears finally do as well. 
“You’re not like all my friends. Actually, you’re not like any of my friends.”
“Yeah, I’m not as cool and outgoing,” you sniffle. And in the softest whisper, you add, “or as pretty. Maybe if I finally lost some weight…”
“You’re breaking my heart here, lovely,” he says, scooting close to you. “You’re so beautiful.” When you try to look away, he gently guides your face back, caressing you and repeating, “So fucking beautiful. And fun and funny. Witty and wicked smart. You don’t have to be outgoing to be those things. Being loud is overrated,” he jokes. “Your quiet is electric. You save the words for the good stuff. And you’re much more expressive than you think,” he chuckles. “It’s subtle, but it’s there. If you look. And I can’t help but look. Fuck, it’s enthralling. You’re enthralling.” A smile, a caress. He squeezes your hand. “So can you please stop being so mean to my favourite person?” he chuckles, moving closer, his eyes piercing yours. You give the slightest nod, and he wipes your tears away, smiling warmly. 
“Sorry,” you whisper.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.” 
His hand lingers on your face even after all your tears are gone. You see his Adam’s apple bob and feel his hand get a bit fidgety in yours. His eyes quickly shoot across your face. They linger on your lips but return to your eyes as he moves closer. You smile at him and move the tiniest bit toward him as well. He smiles back, and you can feel his tension begin to ease at your warmth. It completely melts away when his lips meet yours. Remus tastes slightly of tea when he deepens the kiss. He’s a warmth and comfort you’ve never felt before, and you want to be enveloped in him forever. 
Your forever is cut quite short by the cat from earlier bounding back into his lap, startling you apart. She rubs her head against him, and you both laugh as you pet her. 
Remus’s eyes are cheerful as he’s looking down at her, but when he looks up at you, they fill with a striking brightness and adoration. If eyes that stunning could look at you like that, maybe you could see the beauty they beheld too.
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undertale-yellow · 5 months
Text
Experimental Patch 1.1.0
First, we would like to thank everyone for the incredible reception we've got for UTY 💛 it's been surreal in the best way
We do hear your feedback though, and have worked to address what we can in a new patch for Undertale Yellow. Please be warned, we haven't been able to test everything with this patch, but we're confident it should work in a normal playthrough
Thank you once again for playing and giving feedback! We realize these are not all the issues that have been brought up, but we will continue to work toward improving the game!
You can download Undertale Yellow version 1.1.0 on Gamejolt!
**This new build will recognize any ongoing save, so just make a new folder for the zip contents or replace the old ones and you're good to go
Changelog under the cut ↓
Major Changes
Added two new accessibility options: - Easy mode: When enabled, the Hats now provide DEF values for an easier experience (can be changed mid playthrough) - Auto Rhythm: When enabled, automatically hits the notes in the rhythm fight without having to press a button, if you are in the correct lane
Reworked the final pacifist boss fight attacks to be less chaotic and unpredictable
During a chase sequence, a character was supposed to slow down every time they catch you in the chase, it now works as intended
Added an Act heal to the final No Mercy route boss (Also fixed a crash caused by this Act option being partially implemented but not working)
Crashes and Softlocks
Fixed a crash caused by using the “shoo” command twice during the dunebud duo fight
Fixed a crash caused by interacting with an object while completing the minecart puzzle
Fixed being able to backtrack on the second steam puzzle, which could lead to a crash and your save being ruined
Fixed a crash caused by pressing Z on frame 1 of the attack targetting cursor
Fixed a crash caused by a demo saved game being present on your system
Fixed a softlock caused by blocking Mo’s path as he’s leaving
Fixed a softlock caused by interacting with the crystal tree in Snowdin from the left
Fixed a softlock in the final pacifist boss fight where the selection soul would disappear from the menu
Fixed a softlock caused by sending one of the mine carts off track
Fixed an issue that caused one of Cactony’s attacks to never end
Fixed a softlock caused by mashing through the text fast in the raft room in Snowdin
Fixed a softlock caused by turning around immediately upon entering one of the rooms in the lategame
Fixed a very specific bug that caused you to get stuck on a bridge upon retrying a fight under it
Fixed a crash during the Guardener fight that could happen on her last line of dialogue
Fixed an unrelated softlock in the Guardener fight
Fixed a crash on the final No Mercy boss caused by getting hit on the same frame as you defeat the boss
Other
Fixed the tutorial buttons being swapped in the arcade minigame, also added additional information to the tutorial screen
Changed the Delta Rune Patch gold requirement from 150 to 100
Increased the item stock in the final shop of the No Mercy route (Applies on save reset)
Fixed mistakes in the credits
Fixed several line breaks, typos and mistakes in the text
Altered one of Sir Slither’s act dialogues to make the sparing condition more apparent
Added an autosave post the final pacifist boss as a temporary help with reported performance issues in this cutscene
Added the Auto-Fire toggles to the death screen of relevant fights so you don’t need to restart the game and fights in order to change it
Fixed a mood ruining issue in the final act caused by an unintended random event
Other minor fixes
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italiansteebie · 1 year
Note
Idk if it was u or someone else that has already done this but I need Steve so out of it (hit his head or high or sum??) he literally forgets to speak English- like maybe he’s just saying stuff in Italian and he’s so confused bcuz no one understands him and he realizes he’s speaking his first language and not English.
Also the party would be drooling after him like?? He’s already cute and he speaks more then one language? Literally screaming!!!
tbh i've probably written something similar to this but for you anon, i'll do it again.
--
steve was walking, and if we want to get technical, he was really wandering, with robin trailing behind him. they weren't paying attention, they weren't really thinking, so.
it just so happened that steve wandered right into an opening door, and he fell back and smacked his head on the side walk. robin proceeded to lose her shit, cackling loudly before realizing he'd actually been hurt.
"oh, shit. dingus. are you okay?"
"oh fuck, i killed him!"
and what a surprise that was. eddie just so happened to cause this brutal door attack. his head was already swimming from the fall and now he has to form words around eddie? really?
"non sono mort." he mumbled, reaching back to run the spot where he hit his head.
"oh my god. he's having a stroke, he can't talk. call 911!" eddie was always one for the dramatics.
"robin, smettila di urlare. per favore."
"is that... italian??"
"non essere ridicolo. sto parlando un inglese semplice."
"steve. oh my god. parli italiano sul serio."
and that caused him to realize what he'd been doing.
"oh no! ha fatto perdere il mio inglese!"
robin doubled over in laughter. she knew it wasn't serious enough to call an ambulance, just knocked a few screws out of place.
"what? what'd he say?! oh my god. i changed steve's language. quick find the reset button!"
this only caused robin to laugh harder, her face turning red and tears leaking from her eyes. steve started to giggle at the sight, but eddie was still watching them, wide eyed.
"are- did i hit steve so hard it started effecting you too?"
as robin sobered up, she took a few shuddering breaths before she realized what just happened. "you speak italian! since when?" she shoved her finger in steve's face.
he groaned, "since always." he brightened, "hey! it's back."
"so i- i didn't change your language?"
"no. he's bilingual."
"oh! so you just decided that for me? you told me that stuff was personal, rob. but what does that have to do with you speaking italian?"
robin laughed shortly, "that's bisexual, dingus. bi lingual means you speak two languages."
"oh. then yeah. im bilingual."
"yeah, we've covered that. but since when?"
steve shrugged. "it'd be odd if i couldn't talk to my mom, right?"
robin shook her head. "it's like every time you open your mouth i found out some new lore about you, steve." and he just shrugged.
and eddie was still there watching this whole thing, trying not to pop a stiffy at the idea of steve speaking italian to him, all slow and sexy- no! bad eddie! steve is hurt, this is not the time.
"so." he dragged out. "i'm okay, ed's." steve assured. "yeah. okay, um. are you... so like. you're one bi... are you the other bi too... or?" eddie said awkwardly.
steve blushed and robin gagged. "yeah. is this your way of asking me on a date?"
eddie nodded dumbly.
"okay. tomorrow? bennys at 6?"
"uh. uh huh."
"sounds good, ed's. i should probably get my head checked out now. a domani, amore mio."
and that was it. suddenly eddie felt like he just got hit with a door. he was still reeling from the interaction when robins distant squealing broke him from his trance.
he shook his head.
steve's got more layers than he thought.
// i did use google translate so it won't be accurate.
"i'm not dead."
"robin, stop yelling. please."
"don't be ridiculous. im speaking plain english."
"you're speaking italian. seriously."
"oh no! he knocked my english loose!"
"see you tomorrow, my love."
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shinakazami1 · 9 months
Text
TSPUD: Symbolism of The Pink Room
@stelar-time asked in Twitter (I refuse to call it X) post about people's headcanons about the Pink Room and I thought I'd share this here, too
CW for some religious mentions
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First, I'd like you to look at the dialogues in this part.
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The fact that it's the fourth figurine is not a coincidence.
The Pink Room seems to serve as a symbol of nostalgia and of how memories can change with time. They tend to be rough and down the pipe you go, they do tend to lose details or get some added parts in, for your brain to make sense of them. That's why this room doesn't come at the first or last Figley and instead in the middle, as those are more often the parts we tend to forget.
What is interesting, though, is how Narrator questions it. Because a similar situation occurs somewhere else.
At the end of the Demo, Narrator starts to do a callbacks to the journey you had. However, at some point, he starts to mention and show parts you've never seen before. In contrast to the Pink Room though, there is not a single questioning involved. So, what's so special about that room?
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You could say it's only a symbol of a nostalgia and fragility of memory. That he is recalling some moments he felt halky about and due to it, puts rose-tinted glasses which show off in a form of this room. Why hadn't he done the same thing in the Demo, though?
Memory overall seems to have a bigger role in TSPUD.
Narrator overall seems to have memory issues - he tends to remember some of the previous resets (skipping parts of the Freedom run after going through it nth time in a row) and completely forgets others.
That's why he has Memory Zone. He uses it as a photo album, not knowing it's as unreliable as his own callbacks.
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But then, I did wonder... Why an apple? Why does this room show it and not anything else, any pink fruit?
And then, I looked at the architecture of the place and it reminded me of something.
Big window, a statue of some sort on a pedestal before it, pointed archs, to ribbed vaulting... It seems to match a typical church architecture. And then, it hit me.
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The Apple of Eden. Fruit of the forbidden knowledge. Of somebody being there, someone watching, listening. Of him not having fun control over his creation might have been bit when we were jsut skipping around, only seeing part of his struggle in the Skip Button.
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You might be then asking, why doesn't it have a bite mark then?
There are two possibilities I've considered:
1) it could shows Narrator's ignorance that he shows quite often. That could be true since he just tries to accept what had changed, trying to just say 'don't focus on it, it's a silly thing, let's move on'. He brings it up though since he already learnt from the Broom Closet that things untold seem to interest the Player more.
2) It's a memory within a memory. The apple before he bit in. It's the knowledge he beholds and shows us in a non direct way.
Just like the Bucket.
Nostalgia is supposed to give a good vibe but - it doesn't always succeed.
But this room can indirectly show Narrator's progress. The fact he knows more, the fact he can tell his memories get altered, the fact that - he changed.
In ways we misremember.
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mischievous-piltovan · 6 months
Text
Of Atlas and Sisyphus (NSFW)
Part 1 | Part 2
Part 2: Overthinking and Overflowing
Pairing: MiguelO'Hara x afab!Reader
Themes: Romance, Fluff, NSFW, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn.
Word Count: 9.4k words
Synopsis: Reader wakes up at the Spider HQ Med Bay and needs further care. Miguel spends his day watching the recording of their last mission. None of them are ready to face each other. But circumstances and a perky AI assistant say otherwise.
Trigger Warnings/TWs: blood, wound, piercing damage, reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, miscommunication, emotionally constipated idiots, a bit of power imbalance because boss x underling (but ever so slightly), hand job, oral sex (female and male receiving), very soft femdom.
A/N: sorry for the wait. Life happened but I managed to push this one out! I'm thinking of doing a third part to really solidify the ending of this things. Comments and rebblogs keep me motivated! Have a nice read :)
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The very first thing that hit you when you next opened your eyes was a feeling of unfamiliarity. The white ceiling lights buzzed overhead, overwhelming your sight; the mattress and pillow you laid on felt harder than you were used to, there was a distinct antiseptic smell in the air and somewhere in the vicinity a machine beeped. You tried getting up, but your muscles failed you, bringing you right back down. The little ruckus you caused made someone gasp nearby.
"Careful now," a masked nurse hastily came over your bed "We can't have you accidentally unhooking yourself from the IV-drip."
In your daze, it took a few seconds to register that the nurse was a Spider-Woman, a few more seconds to realize it meant you were at HQ's Med Bay and even more for it to click that that's NOT where you were supposed to be. You sat upright suddenly as dread coursed through your body, successfully yanking the needle out of your arm "The Goblin! I gotta- " 
With a sigh, the nurse gently pushed you back into the bed with a hush. "It's all right, dear. It's been dealt with," she proceeded to reset the IV needle in your arm "Boss brought both you and the Anomaly back to HQ. Your Universe is safe, you need to rest now."
"Miguel… ?" You croaked, the memories of the missions slowly coming back to you "Is he ok?"
"Yes, he was dismissed not too long ago," she reassured you "He wasn't injected with as much venom as you did, and he's also much bigger than you - it almost didn't affect him."
"Venom…?"
"Oh, right. You wouldn't know," she chirped "The projectile you took was venomous, it did a number to your body and halted your healing. But don't worry, we're working to fix that.You should be right as rain in a day or two!"
"Right…"
"Well, I need to attend to other matters now," she said in a gentle tone "There's a little button on the wall over there, press it if you need anything and I'll come running, ok? Now, get some rest."
You watched the nurse hop out of your room before sinking into the pillow with a heavy exhale. You didn't finish the mission; you couldn't carry your own weight to catch an Anomaly in your own dimension. Miguel had to do it. He caught the Anomaly by himself and had to carry your unconscious body back to HQ. Your only contribution was being dead weight.
To make matters worse, according to the nurse, you'd be stuck in the Med Bay for at least another day. This meant that all the unfinished work you left at your workstation would inevitably get delayed. Consequently, all the new tasks that you'd surely be assigned to will stack up and, thereafter, also get delayed. You shielded your eyes with your forearm as you groaned, the amount of extra hours you'd have to put in to compensate already sent a shiver down your spine; an all-nighter was definitely due. You just hoped no unforeseen crisis strike in the meantime - adding Miguel juggling a million tasks at once to quench a metaphorical fire by himself to the fiasco that your mission with him was just added more weight to your already heavy consciousness (and another jab to your very much hurt pride). You also didn't want to have him going through stress by himself  when you could very well be there to share the load - that's precisely what you've been trying to accomplish all this time after all. As capable as he was, he was still just one person - he needed you.
Wait…
He needed you.
"Because I need you."
He… He said that, didn't he? You were not entirely sure, you were in a rather delirious state right before passing out. It could have very well been a fabrication of a blood-deprived (and poisoned, as you just learned) mind that has been yearning for him for far too long. But somehow, it felt real… You've dreamed about Miguel before and it didn't matter which scenario your subconscious made up, waking up always left you with a bittersweet feeling afterwards, like you've been yanked away from your own Garden of Eden. But this particular memory had an intensity behind it, an unrelenting force. Like that first sip of cold water on a very hot summer day.
You swatted that notion away before escalating your swooning any further over a single crumb of hope. 'Because I need you' could mean anything, it didn’t necessarily have to do with romance or lust. If you recalled correctly, you were in the middle of quitting your job, he could very well have meant he needed you working in the lab with him. As in 'You became a valuable asset to the Society, replacing you would be too troublesome. I need you'.
Heh… Despite not being ideally what you wanted it to mean, the thought still amused you. Miguel finally admitted he saw worth in your contributions to the Society, after all these months of getting nothing but criticism and scoldings. And you could hear in his voice how he struggled to let the words out, how strained and a bit desperate he sounded. Like he was running out of choices and just had to use the truth for once.
It really was amusing how much leverage he gave you over him. 
Miguel didn't want you to know he needed you and you couldn't wait to rub it in his face.
—--
Miguel didn't want you to know he needed you and he dreaded to see your reaction now that you did.
It had been a full day since he was dismissed from the Med Bay and he couldn't concentrate on anything. And it's not like he wasn't trying; he kept forcing himself to focus - compartmentalizing tasks in more palatable chunks, timing his strides and peppering them with short breaks, and even going as far as vocalizing out loud what he was trying to accomplish step by step - but no matter what he did, his thoughts kept circling back to you and everything that went down in your dimension.
After the ninth time failing to keep a steady flow of work going, Miguel finally gave-up. Among the catalog of yesterday's missions log files, he put up the VOD of the mission at your dimension and silently watched it. He paused the moment before you were hit with the Goblin's javelin and felt his stomach churn; he watched himself curled up on screen, trying to fix his suit, pathetically oblivious to the impending attack coming from behind him. The next second you were lunging at him, getting the Goblin's attention and successfully protecting him at the cost of your wound.
 How… Pathetic.
His intention to accompany you on your next few missions was to protect you - he knew you bore a grave injury from a past job, he wanted to aid you until you were fully healed. To watch him be a hindrance that caused you further harm made him feel disgusting; and knowing it was because he didn't have Spider-Sense the same way most (bright and cheerful) Spider-People had just added more insult to the injury. 
But the fight with the Goblin wasn't the reason he wanted to watch the Video Log in the first place. He kept watching it until he got to the part he wished to revisit - the moment the argument broke out. Unsurprisingly, he was the one who triggered the conflict.
"Why the shock were you exerting yourself when you should have been resting?"
Miguel groaned at his tone. He didn't have to be an asshole when all he wanted was for you to be more careful with your well-being. But at this point, being a jerk towards you became second nature - a defense mechanism born from the need of keeping you at arm's length; treating you the complete opposite of how he felt about you to ensure you were kept safe from him. If you ended up hating him all the better. But actions have consequences, and tipping you off yet again was just that. He couldn't blame you for snapping, he had been pushing you for a while now - the band was bound to break. 
What he didn't foresee was that said reaction encapsulated your sudden decision to quit Spider Society altogether AND your stubborn persistence in flinging yourself back into the mission while gravely injured. His mind went into overdrive trying to salvage the situation while keeping the professional facade. He watched the moment he grabbed your wrist, the same desperation he felt then creeping up all over again. The havoc inside him caused the beast to get set loose and he recalled almost doing something stupid as he gazed into your eyes, like kissing you. It was said thought that jolted him out of his stupor, forcefully yanking the beast's leash back and making him utter the most ridiculous statement in a desperate attempt to bring the conversation back to a professional ground (it didn't).
"You're going to jeopardize this mission in your current condition."
He had to pause the video to take a breath, the surge of shame too much to bear. There were a million other ways to address your relentlessness that would both convey the message and still sound professional, but his thick skull decided to go with the ballistic option. But then again, it was the easier route, par for the course; being as mean as possible to make sure his true intentions and feelings were kept secret. He unpaused the video, and your next words were his undoing.
"I'm DONE being your silly little plaything."
What the shock could you possibly have meant with that? Yes, he had been an asshole to you for the last few months (even if not intentional), but he wasn't toying with you. To make someone a plaything means bestowing them a lesser status; is to perceive them as a mere toy, an unfeeling object undeserving of respect. And that was the last thing Miguel connected you with; to him you were a goddess, worthy of worship and absolutely unattainable. You were his muse and his tormentor, his salvation and his undoing. Far too important to him even consider playing with. The revelation that this is how you felt broke him; destroyed him to the point that made him falter and his next words practically spilled from him.
"Because I need you."
There they were. The words that escaped his lips and which possible repercussions he dreaded. The little confession that's been keeping him from concentrating in anything else. In his desperation to remedy the notion you held, he waned and the beast broke free; it spoke in his stead and revealed more than Miguel was ready to admit. In a (terrible) way, he was lucky you passed out soon after; who knows what else would come into the light had the conversation gone any further.
Yet, even though the words he uttered didn't actually convey much, the implications behind them had the potential to roar. It shouldn't take a genius to logic their way to the truth and you were highly intelligent. And he dreaded how you'd react to it, how disgusted you'd feel upon realizing the beast fell for you. Only he was no prince under a spell, he was just that - a monster.
"Miguel? Heeey, Miguel! Are you listening?"
It took Lyla to pop up in front of his eyes, completely blocking the screen he was looking at, for Miguel to finally notice her. From her frantic gesturing alone, he could tell she had been trying to get his attention for a while. 
"Ah, perdón, Lyla. I am now."
"Good grief, Miguel. You are uncharacteristically slow today," she quipped, feigning annoyance. "Did the venom from that Goblin affect your cognition?"
"I–What? No," it took a minute for Miguel to understand Lyla had insulted him "Callaté."
The AI ignored Miguel, opting to scan whatever he was working on. She assumed she'd have more luck understanding her master's plight through any other way than getting him to talk. Upon realizing the video file he was watching, she paused with an oh.
"I'm gonna throw some statements at you, and you're gonna tell me if they are true or not," she said more calmly. Before he could muster anything, she continued "You are worried about what you said during yesterday's mission.'
Miguel took a moment before responding "True."
"You don't want her to know about your feelings."
"...true."
She paused, mulling over her next statement before continuing "You think you're not reciprocated."
Miguel frowned "Fal– No, that's not even– She couldn't possibly–"
The mere thought of you reciprocating his feelings was ludicrous. Of all people, why would you fall for him - a barely human, brutish, hard-headed monstrosity. In the Society alone he could think of a good number of Spiders that you were more likely to fall for; the cheerful, laid-back types who could touch you without fear of accidentally sinking their talons into you. Lyla was delusional to even suggest that.
"Drop it, Lyla."
The AI took a minute to study Miguel, her expression unreadable. The next second, her eyes shifted, unfocused, and a glimpse of a mischievous grin spread across her face before turning to her master again.
"Aye aye, captain, consider it dropped," she said cheerfully. "On other news, you have that immersion treatment scheduled now. You better head to the Med Bay."
"Cancel it," he dismissed, the last thing he needed was to waste more time. But Lyla was having none of it.
"Not happening," she snapped her fingers and suddenly all screens from Miguel's workstation blinked off.
"Que carajo," Miguel spat, frantically trying to undo his assistant's input "Lyla! Restore the power this instant!" 
"No can do, Miguel," she said, floating with her legs crossed in the air, while pretending to file her nails. "Even if it was just a little, you still got poisoned with that Goblin's venom. Doctor's orders."
Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, as he groaned. Finally, he dropped his shoulders with a huge exhale as he yielded "Fine…"
"Oh, and do me a favor while you're there, will you?" She added "I've found a strange entry in my command inputs, could you take a look at it?"
Miguel spent the whole walk to the Med Bay wondering how his life got to the point his AI assistant had more power over his life decisions than he did.
Once arriving, he was led to a private locker room and instructed to fully strip and enter the immersion pool area through the door on the other side of the room. 
"The session should take an hour, give or take," the nurse informed him, "There's a clock in there, so don't worry about bringing any devices with you."
Once the nurse left him, he fully deactivated his suit, the digital material retracting from his head down, and wrapped a towel around his hips. Even if he was supposed to be by himself through the whole process - thus dispensing the need to protect his modesty -, it would be unlike him to not take precaution.
The very first thing that hit him when he opened the door to the pool area was the intense herbal smell that assaulted his sensitive nose. The second thing was how foggy the place was, provided by the temperature of the water. The third thing was a yelp.
"AH! What the– Wait… Miguel?"
You stood immersed in the water, at the far end of the pool. Miguel was stunned, trying to process the situation he walked into, his head working in overdrive: Why were you here? Did he go through the wrong door? No, there was only one door. How did he miss your scent? Oh, the fumes from the concoction must have overpowered it. Should you be here? Should he be here? Once his eyes fell to how your arms hugged your chest in an attempt to maintain some sort of propriety, he promptly turned on his heels as an intense heat flared up on his face.
"Shit! I'm sorry!" He spat. "I don't know what– I should– I'm gonna go."
He frantically tried opening the door back to the locker room, pressing the buttons on the door pad with more force than he should, but it was futile. As he punched the pad in frustration, Lyla popped up beside him.
"You're not leaving until you finish your treatment session," she sang.
"Lyla! Open this door this instant!" Miguel barked. Lyla just clicked her tongue.
"Just get in the water, the pool is big enough for the both of you," she replied "Besides, the mixture of medicines in the water make it very murky, you can barely make out what's under it."
"LYLA! NOW!"
"It's OK, Miguel," you said, your voice instantly starting to subdued Miguel's anger "You need this treatment too, you should get in."
Miguel brushed his hair back with his hand, his fingers running through his thick locks as he tried calming down to assess his situation. You were behind him completely vulnerable in an extreme state of undress, protected only by a thin veil of water. He shuddered at the thought, the image in his head alone sending all the blood in his body directly south. The beast inside of him wanted nothing more than to seize the opportunity to claim you here, shrouded by the vapors and the thick herbal smell. Getting in that water was risky, it would take a lot of him to keep control. 
But what other option did he have? Lyla was adamant in making him go through the treatment, blocking the door control altogether. He had the power to just force his way out, tearing a hole in the metal with his talons, but he'd end up not only ruining your session but also exposing you (and the protectiveness in him was vehemently against it). He just had to endure it.
"Fine," he breathed out in defeat. He turned around, eyes down to avoid looking at you. He approached the pool's edge as he tugged on the towel around his hips "I'm gonna lose the towel, you… might want to look away."
You did not want to look away in the slightest, but you closed your eyes nonetheless out of respect. Once you heard the tell-tale splash followed by the ripples of water hitting you, you opened them again. 
Neither you or Miguel spoke, the silence being broken only by the gentle humming of the water heater. The tension in the air was almost as palpable as the herbal steam flooding the room. Miguel kept himself on the opposite corner of the pool, as far from you as possible. He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest and sank as far as he could while resting the back of his head on the edge. His heart was racing, a mixture of arousal and embarrassment overwhelming his senses. He was fighting hard to relax, to be present in the moment and enjoy the break from the ever-present onslaught of responsibilities his life bestowed upon him, but your presence was proving too strong. 
The beast inside of him stirred, flooding his mind with obscenities; you bent over at your hip on your belly at the edge of the pool, your ass on full display for him as he plunged his cock between your glistening folds; you sat at the edge with your feet in the water as he savored your nectar with his head between your thighs; him sitting on the shallow part of the pool with you on top of him, bouncing on his cock as he gripped your ass, watching your tits gorgeously jump from the movement. Miguel groaned, fighting to keep the beast on a tight leash as he tried to push the vulgarities away; fuck fuck fuck… What wouldn't he give for a chance to jerk these thoughts out of him, to release the tension just a bit to make this ordeal a bit more bearable. The occasional sigh and shudder you'd let out from the other side of the pool just added to his fantasies, making the effort of keeping his very much hardening cock down that much vexing. At least Lyla was right about the murkiness of the water - the pearlescent shade whatever chemicals granted the liquid made it impossible to distinguish anything immersed in it.
Wait, that's right - Lyla! She did ask him to take a look at a weird entry on her command input history, didn't she. This was perfect, some busy work should keep his mind occupied, if he was lucky it would take the whole treatment session to finish dealing with it. He promptly called Lyla and before long, he was scrolling through her command input history.
To say you were faring any better at the other side of the pool would be a lie. Ever since Miguel walked through that door you became acutely aware of how bare you were - your skin prickled as if more sensitive than before. On top of that, you were fighting for your life not to ogle at the man - the dampness of the ambient clung to him making his bronze skin glisten and tousled his hair, causing some thick locks to fall on his face. You started to question your decision to offer him to partake in the session with you the moment the words left your mouth; you supposed it derived from both the guilt you felt from him getting wounded during the mission and the opportunity your lizard brain saw of being close to a very naked Miguel. Nevertheless, the result was an awkward situation filled to the brim with tension. 
Suddenly, you sensed Miguel tense up for a second, meeting his eyes the moment you looked over to see what had spooked him. The workaholic that he was, he had a screen open in front of him and seemed to have seen something that surprised him. You lifted a questioning eyebrow at him, but he didn't respond; instead he returned to the document he had opened as if double-checking something before turning the screen off. He then set his eyes to the water in front of him, but his mind was distant - you could almost hear the gears turning in his head.
The silence stretched on and minutes started feeling like hours. You racked your brain trying to find a topic of discussion, something to fill the silence and loosen the tension if only for a bit. Maybe even something silly, just to share a little amicable laugh, or some kind of teasing, to partake in a familiar friendly jabbing session. And then it hit you, the one thing you were dying to bring up to him - the little confession he let out during the mission. His (work) need of you (in the Spider Society).
"Soooo," you broke the silence in a sing-song voice "Miguel O'Hara finally caved in, huh."
Miguel snapped out of whatever was consuming his mind, clearly taken aback by the tone of your voice "¿Q- que?"
"Because I need you," you mimicked, doing a very bad impression of his voice "Took you long enough to admit it."
Miguel didn't respond right away. You watched him stir, visibly distraught, as he searched your face for something. "... you knew?"
There was a tinge of melancholy behind his question, something even vulnerable. But you kept your smirk, backing down now would just compromise your attempt at alleviating the tension. "I mean, I had a feeling."
Miguel dropped his shoulders in a strong exhale as he scrunched his eyes shut. When he opened them again, his eyebrows furrowed up slightly as he looked at you in desolation "I'm sorry."
Of all things to hear back from him, an apology was not on the list. Something was starting to feel off, but you decided to push it a little more "You should be, it was high time you recognized the work I put in here."
It was Miguel's turn to look confused "... the work?"
"Oh, don't act dumb, O'Hara," you retorted, slightly annoyed. He was not gonna dissuade you from finally getting the praise you rightfully deserved from him. "You couldn't let me quit the Society, you literally said you needed me here. I might have passed out soon after, but I did hear those words coming out of you."
"But that wasn't–," Miguel started frantically, but halted abruptly, seemingly collecting his thoughts. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves before continuing. "You are an exceptional member of the Society. Your work at the lab and in the field are crucial and I can admit without problem that I need you at the Society. We all do."
He paused again, contemplating his next words. After a brief second, he resumed his speech. "What I said back then had nothing to do with work."
You frowned in confusion for a moment, but then the other meaning to those words you had first imagined crept up in the forefront of your mind. He couldn't be talking about affection, could he? A yearning for you that matched yours for him? Your chest fluttered in an erratic cadence, but you promptly stomped the elation down. You had to make sure - to hear him say it - before allowing yourself the bliss.
"What did you mean then?" You spoke softly, carefully. Like your tone alone could corner Miguel and cause him to withdraw, putting his walls back up and leaving you with half truths and lies.
But he didn't give you the clarification you desperately craved right away. Instead he shifted, standing a bit taller while still leaning with his back to the pool's edge, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. 
"I'll let you know," he spoke, fiercely gazing into your eyes from under his brow; his voice husky and stern. "But first I need you to explain why you asked Lyla to find a Miguel O'Hara variant in your dimension."
Your heart sank as dread rapidly coursed through your veins. You desperately tried to find a suitable answer, one that could give him a good explanation while omitting the truth from him. But the harder you racked your brain, the clearer it became that there was no way out from the corner Miguel drove you into. 
Dread started giving away to anger. How dare he tries to dodge your question by conditioning its answer to an answer from you, one that puts you on the spot. Leave it to control-freak Miguel O'Hara to use sleazy methods to keep himself on top.
"That doesn't concern you," you said between greeted teeth. "Now, answer my question."
Miguel was unphased. "Oh, you think someone looking for a variant of myself using my tech doesn't concern me?"
"It doesn't, that was a matter between me and Lyla about a potential third person," you spat, voice rising a bit. "My question is about clarification on a conversation WE shared. THAT concerns you."
"You can't possibly-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, O'HARA," you snapped, standing up abruptly, splashing water all around you "STOP DEFLECTING MY QUESTION AND JUST ANSWE-"
You stopped upon noticing the look on Miguel's face. He seemed shocked, eyes wide open, eyebrows knitted together and mouth agape. Then you noticed a tinge of red make an appearance underneath the bronze color of his cheeks. Finally, you watched as he rapidly looked away from you, dramatically turning his head to the side. "SHOCK! ¿PENDEJA, ESTÁS LOCA?!"
Adrenaline ebbed from your body giving room for your other senses to kick in. You shivered from the lack of heat and soon realized your rage had eclipsed you to the fact you were still very much naked and now with your torso (and tits) completely exposed above the water from your outburst. Heat quickly flooded your face as you plunged back into the water, mortified and vulnerable. 
Another thick stretch of silence fell between the two of you. You hugged yourself tightly over your breasts under the water as if it somehow could alleviate the intense shame coursing through your body. Miguel tried to compose himself, the image of your tits hanging down your torso as water dripped down in rivulets over your skin carouselled in his mind on loop. 
You huffed. Was trying to keep your feelings for him a secret worth it at this point? After sharing a bath with and subsequently flashing your boss, a love confession felt harmless. Might as well rip out that band-aid and live with the consequences of this bundle of awkwardness. You took a deep breath and…
"I asked Lyla to find a Miguel O'Hara variant in my dimension because I wanted to find a version of you with whom I could take out all my pent-up frustrations about you on," you spoke in almost a whisper, eyes away from Miguel. "Because I'm in love with you."
Miguel's eyes widened. He turned to you looking for any sign of mischief - a smirk, a held laugh, a smug stance -, but he found none. You kept your gaze downwards, your arms around you as you tried to withdraw within yourself. 
"And… I've been for the longest time, too," you continued, still avoiding his gaze. "And I would be very grateful if we pretended this confession never happened."
"What…?" Miguel croaked, still processing your words.
"Yeah, kinda pathetic, isn't it?" You scoffed, a defeated smile adorning your face. "It was obvious this would go unrequited the moment it started blooming, but I couldn't help it."
As soon as those last words left your mouth, you felt a surge of shame rising up from your very core, begging you to stop talking. But you pushed it down, the cat was already out of the bag and there was no undoing it. Alas, it was better to exhaust everything regarding this topic now than to regret leaving things unsaid later.
"And you know what the worst part is? I've been trying to compensate for my feelings by assisting you the best I can to help lighten your load," you started talking more emphatically, adding speed and volume to your speech in order to drown out the shame. "You're carrying so much responsibility all by yourself, I wanted to make your life easier if only for a fraction."
"Wait, it… its not-" Miguel was having a hard time keeping up with the onslaught you poured on him. There were a lot of conflicting emotions clashing inside him, his mouth couldn't put into words what he was trying to convey. The sudden surge of speed in your speech was not helping him in the slightest. 
"Yeah, I know. It's not working, isn't it? I figured as such, you've been really uptight about my performance lately," You spat back, not giving him a chance to talk. You were worried that you'd lose your momentum and never be able to gather it back. You needed to get everything out. "But I'll work harder! Just… Maybe it's best if I quit the Lab Assistant job, I don't want to make you uncomfortable at your own workplace and-"
"¡Por favor, deja de hablar!" Miguel's voice echoed through the chamber, halting your verbosity. "It's not unrequited…"  He spoke more quietly, a gentleness in his tone. "Your feelings, that is."
Another stretch of silence took place between you. You slowly uncurled yourself, straightening up your back as you finally looked at Miguel. His stance defied the words he just uttered to the point you wondered if you might have misheard them - he was tense, shoulders slightly up with his hands at his sides in tight fists; he looked down, avoiding your face. 
"Wait, you-," your voice failed you. You quickly cleared your throat before resuming. "You feel the same…?"
Miguel relaxed his shoulders a bit as he exhaled, running a hand through his damp hair. He then proceeded to meet your gaze as he rested his hands over his hips. "Yeah…"
"Oh. I… That's perfect! Miguel, I-"
"No, wait," he cut you off. "I owe you an apology and an explanation - yes, I… I realize I have been an asshole to you lately. I'm sorry about that, it's just-," Miguel paused again, collecting his thoughts. He closed his eyes for a second and, when he opened them again, there was nothing but hurt behind them. "I've been trying to distance myself from you, and I know that that's not an excuse to lash out on you, but being near you made that task so much more vexing…"
"... why would you want to distance yourself from me?" 
"To protect you." He responded matter-of-factly.
You frowned slightly. "From what??"
"From me." Miguel said, emphatically pointing a finger at his own face.
"Why would I need protection from you??" You asked, lifting an eyebrow at him. "Miguel, don't get me wrong - you are very strong. But not strong enough to be a threat to me."
"I cannot allow myself to partake on more… intimate activities with you," he spat, avoiding your gaze again. "I would ruin you."
"And what if I want to be ruined?" You asked, taking a few careful steps towards him. Miguel swallowed nervously as he felt your words go straight south. He tried to compose himself before responding.
"You don't know what you're talking about," he muttered. "I am a monster and you know that. There ought to be a better suitor for you."
You took another couple of tentative steps towards him. "I decide what's best for me."
"No, you don't understand," he spat, his gaze towards the water. "You are amazing. You are.. strong, smart, have an intellect to die for and so, so kind. While I have to live in isolation, in a dim-lit Lab, taking shots to keep a semblance of humanity because my powers make me a monster and you don't deserve tha-"
He stopped upon feeling your hand reaching for his. He was so lost in his rant that he failed to notice your approach. He flinched at your proximity but didn't pull away from your touch. 
You took his hand in both of yours, slowly kneading his palm with your thumbs. "Do you trust me?"
"...What do you mean?" Miguel answered, watching your hands work his. At this distance he could finally feel your scent alongside the concoction herb-y smell. 
"Just in general." 
"Of course I do," he responded softly. "I trust you with my life."
"Then trust me when I say I want to be with you," You said, bringing his hand over your chest, right above your heart. He inhaled sharply at the contact, realizing the softness of the tissue below was the top portion of your breast. He finally met your eyes to prevent him from dwelling on the thought. "Trust me that I will tell you if, like you fear, it becomes too much for me."
"I… " He let your words sink in. He really was deciding he was no good for you, robbing you of your own agency on the matter, wasn't he? But something tugged at him in the back of his mind, something that wasn't adding up - a fear that prevented him from just letting go. 
Then it clicked.
He set the hand you held free, cupping your jaw with it. You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. Miguel's heart fluttered at the sight, but he quickly composed himself - he had a point to make.
"You have to promise me you will actually tell me if something becomes too much for you. That you won't push yourself past your limit for my sake," he started, capturing your attention again. "I watched the video of our last mission and you put yourself in harm's way to protect me and you almost died. Add that to what you just told me about putting a lot of effort in the Society for my sake, it worries me you'd favor me in detriment of your own well-being." 
"I…," you started.
"That first injury you sustained, it was also a ramification of that dynamic, wasn't it?"
There was no way around that, you figured. Closing your eyes, you rested your own hand atop Miguel's hand on your face. "Yeah… "
With a resolute exhale, you locked eyes with Miguel once more. "I guess we both have things to work on."
A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Miguel's mouth. "Yeah…"
"So…," you said after a pause. "Can we kiss?"
Miguel chuckled. "There's nothing I'd like more, hermosa."
He cupped your face with both hands, craning down to face you. He opened his mouth slightly, ghosting your lips for a moment as he took in your scent before colliding into your mouth. The kiss was gentle at first, chaste even; as if Miguel was still not entirely sure it was happening and he was under some hallucinogenic side-effect from the fumes of the concoction. But then he heard you whimper into his mouth - it was a silent thing, almost a whisper -, but it was enough for his heightened hearing to pick-up. 
And then somewhere inside Miguel a switch flipped.
His tongue breached your lips, hungrily tracing the inside of your mouth. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, giving Miguel the leverage he needed to slide his hands down your sides, gripping your hips and bringing your body flushed to his. Like everything in his life, Miguel needed to take control and… it didn't feel unwelcome this time. In fact, the heat emanating from his body against yours paired with the oily dampness the concoction provided and his ministrations in your mouth was making you dizzy - your heart drummed in your ears and you could feel arousal starting to build up in your core.
You instinctively brought your hands to his hair, raking your nails through his scalp. He grunted in response, the sound going straight to your clit. You instantly got addicted, suddenly you needed to hear more; to learn all the pretty sounds Miguel could make. So in between kisses you sank your teeth into his lower lip, earning the groffiest moan you ever heard. Spurred further, Miguel descended to your jaw, nibbling his way to your neck. He nuzzled into the crook of it, inhaling hard to bask in your intoxicating scent, before sinking his teeth into your pulse point.
You moaned shamelessly, the mixture of pain and pleasure only adding to the pressure in your core. His erection pressed against you, twitching at every sound that escaped your lips. Your head spinned as if you were drunk, any reservation you formerly had dissolved.
"Fuck, Miguel," you mewled near his ear and you could sense him tensing up in response; he hardened his grip on your hips and you could feel his talons starting to pierce your skin. A gasp of primal ecstasy from deep within you escaped your lips as his talons extended, sinking further into your flesh. Miguel flooded all your senses, yet you yearned for more.
But suddenly he stopped.
He grabbed your shoulders, pushing your body back and away from him. His head hung between his shoulders as he fought to catch his breath, keeping his arms extended to maintain the distance between you. 
"Miguel, is everything okay?" You asked, worry lacing your words. 
After a moment, he took a deep breath and turned his head up to face you. His skin still flustered from the kiss. "I'm so sorry…"
You frowned slightly. "What for?"
"I lost control, I-," he stuttered anxiously. "I hurt you. I could smell your blood."
"But-," you tried speaking, but Miguel continued.
"Shit, you aren't even fully healed yet," he scrunched up his face, spiraling on. "Fuck, this is a treatment. We're in the middle of your treatment, I-. I'm an idiot."
"Shut-up, O'Hara," you spat, trying to break him from the guilt pit he started sinking in. "I'm practically 100% already from that injury and…"
Your pause brought his attention back to you. You gathered courage to continue.
"...and I rather enjoyed getting rougher a second ago." You finished, avoiding his gaze.
Miguel relaxed a bit, enthralled by your bashful display. "But still I… I'd prefer if we didn't do anything too rough today."
"Oh c'mon, man," you scoffed, very much annoyed. "Don't treat me as an invalid."
"I'm not," he responded. "I'm just not comfortable escalating this when you still have some healing to do."
"But-," 
"Please," Miguel pleaded. The raw vulnerability behind it spoke of the guilt he still felt for your injury. It faltered your resolve.
"Alright…," you pouted. "Not easy after all that, but fine."
"Don't even get me started, hermosa," Miguel responded, letting go of your shoulders. "Although…," he said, scanning the area around the pool. "I think there's something we could do."
"Hm?"
"Sit on the edge of the pool," Miguel said curtly, the change of tone catching you off-guard.
"What?"
"You heard me, princesa," he spoke again in a more sultry voice, half-lidded scarlet eyes meeting yours. "Let me see you."
"I-," you suddenly felt very shy at his request, the small break from the heated kiss you two shared seemed to have cooled you down enough to bring back your self-awareness. Sitting on the edge of the pool meant being on full-display for Miguel, way more exposed than the seconds of accidentally flashing him from before. 
Your eyes shifted back and forth from the edge to Miguel, unsure of what to do. But he was having none of it; he cupped your jaw again, his touch enough to ground you a bit, bringing your attention back to him. "I need to see you, chiquita. All of you."
"Okay," you blurted out in a resolute exhale. You turned towards the edge and paused before moving forward. "Prepare to be disappointed."
"I could never."
Miguel watched you with bated breath as you hoisted your body up the edge of the pool with your arms. Your plump ass emerged next, droplets of water running down its surface as you finally brought your legs up and onto the hard floor. If he died now, he would have died happy. You sat with your back turned to him and your legs to the side, as you held your torso up with your arms. That scene, paired with the rivulets of pearlescent water running down your body and the vapors from the pool painted an image Miguel could only describe as divine. You were his goddess and he wished for nothing more than to be your most adulant devotee.
Finally, you slowly turned around, bringing your legs back in the water as you scooted your hips to the edge of the pool. You kept your hands on your lap and your legs pressed together; subconsciously trying to hide yourself from Miguel's gaze. 
But Miguel was nothing but awestruck, trying to formulate a proper reaction. He moved towards you, placing a hand on each of your knees. "Not once in my wildest fantasies I could attain the perfection that is your body." 
You inhaled sharply at his earnest words, heat blooming across your face. His hold on your knees sent shivers down your spine, beginning to fan your embers back to flames. His thumbs caressed the inner side of your knees, a silent plea to let him pry them apart. His crimson eyes devoured you wholly, his gaze searing your skin.
"Let me make you feel good, mi preciosa," Miguel husked, as his eyes met yours from under his brow. His hands guided your knees apart and you followed, exposing your innermost self to him. You watched his gaze falling to your cunt and his chest heaving in response. He proceeded to hover his mouth over your inner thigh - the contrast of his hot breath against your wet skin driving you insane -, before planting a kiss on the soft surface. He kept kissing you agonizingly slow, teasingly making his way to your center; each of his ministrations eliciting a gaspy moan from within you. Finally, he pressed a kiss directly on your engorged clit, keeping his lips on it in the longest iteration of a kiss you ever witnessed, drawing out his teasing for as long as possible.
"M-Miguel, for the love of-."
You never finished your sentence. He hooked his hands under your hips, tilting your pelvis up and licked a fat stripe with the flat of his tongue up your slit and you whimpered. With his grip on your hips giving him leverage, he began eating you out like a man starved, flicking his tongue on your clit, kneading your outer lips with the pad of his thumbs and lapping up your essence like he needed it to stay alive. You instinctively gripped his hair for purchase, his relentlessness robbing you of your breath. 
"Don't hold back, hermosa," he said, coming up for air. " Show me all the pretty sounds you can make."
He let go of your hips with one of his hands before plunging a finger between your folds and into your velvety insides. You moaned at the intrusion as he deliciously rotated his finger, massaging your inner walls, before settling his pad on the sensitive spongy spot directly behind your clit. You buckled involuntarily into his mouth as he curled his fingers and he chuckled against your cunt, the vibration adding to the pressure building up in your core.
Miguel dove a second finger inside you and began pumping them in and out while rotating his wrist. A cry fell from your lips at the new pace, the obscene squelching sounds of your arousal permeating the air further compressing the coil inside you. A part of you didn't want to cum yet, didn't want your first orgasm with Miguel to be with his mouth when his cock was right there. 
"M-Miguel, ple- ah! Please," you managed to blurt out. "I need you inside me."
Miguel planted a kiss on your cunt before responding. "I'll use my cock if you can refrain from cumming for the next… 5 minutes."
He resumed his assault right after with a renewed vigor and you mewled. There was no way you were gonna last five minutes.
To say Miguel was faring any better was a lie. Despite his facade, his whole body screamed for release. He had his lower half pressed to the wall of the pool, lightly humping into it to get some form of relief. It was taking all of his self control not to give into your plea and plow into you then and there, to feel your warm walls around his cock instead of the cold tiles of the pool.
But you were still hurt, your wound was still healing; he couldn't risk bringing more harm upon you. 
With a final barrage to your hole and a long suck on your clit your band finally snapped. Your climax hit you like a supernova, white hot and powerful; you buckled into Miguel's face until it died down and he promptly provided the guidance you needed through it. When you finally came back from your high and managed to catch your breath, you turned to Miguel.
"You bastard." You spat feigning annoyance. He chuckled as he wiped your juices from his chin.
"Didn't see you complaining when you came." He teased, licking his fingers clean. 
"You know what I meant," you retorted. "Miguel, please, just-... Just pound me. I need you to fill me up so fucking bad."
Miguel's cock twitched at your words, still painfully hard underneath the water. He was fighting hard to keep his head cool and not just give in, to throw caution to the wind and just slam into you like you wanted. To make matters worse, you never moved after you came, still in its afterglow, blissfully unaware you kept your lower-half very much on display to him - your glistening hole practically welcoming him. He forced himself to look away before his resolve faltered.
"Next time, Chiquita," he said softly. "I promise."
"What about you, though?" You asked, hoisting yourself up on your elbows.
"I can take care of myself later."
You groaned in response. You hated when Miguel got like that, so focused on an emotionally charged aspect he couldn't fathom considering other takes. There was no need to forgo all sexual activity if he was worried about your healing, especially after eating you out (so fucking well). With a huff, you got back in the water - if there was something you learned working in his Lab all this time is that Miguel needed help seeing other points of views sometimes.
You gently pressed your torso to Miguel's back, tenderly enveloping your arms around his middle in a hug. He flinched under your touch at first, but relaxed soon after. You proceeded to run your fingers on his abs, slowly massaging the taut muscle.
"I could take care of you, you know," you whispered. 
Miguel felt his heart race at your words. He was already getting lost with the way your body pressed against his, the heat emanating from you paired with your scent causing him to walk the edge between lunacy and prudence. Looking down, he could see your delicate hands working his muscles - every little press of your fingers sent electric bolts downwards, where he yearned for your touch the most. Would it be so bad to indulge…?
"Y-your wound…"
"I'm sure using my hands wouldn't compromise my healing," you responded, trying to sound alluring. You tentatively slid your fingers down his lower belly, stopping just below his hips and Miguel hissed. You drew circles on the region slowly, feeling him shudder against you. "Let me make you feel good, Miggy."
"I-," Miguel tried speaking, but the little brain power he still had was having a hard time fighting against the sensation of your dainty fingers so close to his cock. The fact the whole massage was now happening hidden from his eyes under the water only made each touch feel searing hot.
He desperately needed release. 
"... Yeah," he husked. "Just… don't overdo yourself."
You grinned behind him before finally sliding a hand to his cock, enveloping your fingers around his shaft. He hissed at the touch, getting so wound up had made him a lot more sensitive. You glided your hand along his cock, feeling his veins against the pads of your fingers before reaching his tip. You pulled back his hood, circling your thumb around the gland before gently rubbing the slit; Miguel hitched a breath.
"Does it feel good?" You asked, feigning innocence. Having control over him, knowing he could turn the tides easily if he so wished, felt oddly good.
"Y-yeah," he managed to huff out. 
Pleased with his response, you started languidly pumping his cock and Miguel let out a strangled moan. You slid your body to his side to gain more range of motion while gently bringing your other hand to his ass. 
The pace of your hand was slowly depleting Miguel of his remaining sanity. With his heightened sensitivity, the movement alone was both a lot and not enough. Your other hand kneaded his ass gently, occasionally prodding the rim of his hole, putting him in a position of vulnerability unfamiliar to him, yet not unwelcome. It felt good to relinquish control, especially with you at the helm.
But he needed more.
"Please…," he whispered. You lifted an eyebrow at his tone.
"Please what, handsome?" You teased.
"I… I need more."
"You need to speak more clearly, big guy."
"Mierda," he cussed. "I need you to stroke me faster."
"Atta, boy".
You increase your pace, gently rotating your wrist as you pumped him. Miguel groaned, throwing his head back. He instinctively brought an arm over your shoulders for purchase, holding you against his body. He could feel the pressure in his abdomen growing, his release getting dangerously close. 
"Y-yo voy a, yo voy a…, (I-I'm gonna, I'm gonna…)" he groaned, his peak hastily approaching.
And then you stopped. And he hissed.
"N-no no no, please…," he cried out, desperately trying to rut in your hand. But it was no use.
You had the audacity to chuckle.
You cupped his jaw, bringing his attention down to you. You guided his head down, hungrily taking his lips with your own. He moaned in your mouth, frustration and arousal blending together, flooding all of his senses. 
You both parted for air, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his. He looked at you with half-lidded drunken eyes, a gentle giant tamed by lust.
"C'mon, big guy. Let's get you sat at the edge," you whispered in his ear. "I want to taste you."
There wasn't a fiber in Miguel's body capable of denying you at this point.
With his back to the wall of the pool, Miguel hoisted his torso up by his arms, plopping himself down at pool's edge with his lower legs in the water. His heavy cock throbbed, thick and dark red, covered in droplets of a mixture of precum and the oily pearlescent concoction; a sight that had you salivating.
Miguel watched you approach him, slotting yourself between his thighs. You gently pulled his hood back, revealing the gland to the thick air of the chamber, before pressing your tongue flat to the underside of it and locking eyes with him.
"Fuck," was all he could muster. There was no way he would last much longer inside your warm mouth after getting edged. In fact, he was afraid a couple more kitten licks would be enough to finish him off. But he wanted to endure a little more, to enjoy you for as long as he could.
You rotated your tongue around his head a few times, catching as much precum as you could, before enveloping him with your mouth. Miguel hissed, instinctively bringing a hand to your hair for purchase. You bobbed your head slowly, swirling your tongue around his shaft in the process. 
"Nena, I won't last," he warned you. 
You hummed around his cock in response, bringing your hand up to him with your pointer finger pressed against your thumb, asking him for 'just a little longer'.
Miguel groaned. He would try. For you, he would try.
You started to slowly increase your pace, taking him deeper with each movement. Miguel could feel the pressure in his abdomen building up again faster. He tensed his muscles and gripped the edge of the pool with his other hand in an attempt to sooth it, to prolong the pleasure you provided for as long as possible.
But you weren't planning to play fair. You enveloped the remainder of his shaft you couldn't mouth with one hand, stroking him alongside the movement of your head, and used your other hand to reach his neglected balls, fondling them in tandem to your ministrations. It was all too much, Miguel threw his head back and could only tighten his hold on your hair in warning before spilling into your mouth hard, completely emptying his seed in you in a fervent release.
You soothed him through it, until his first wince of over-stimulation. You then gently pulled yourself back, letting go of his softening cock, before lifting your chin up to him and making a show of swallowing his spent and opening your mouth to present your clean tongue to him. Miguel shuddered.
"No me hagas esto," he said, still catching his breath. "You'll be the death of me."
"A good way to go, I hope?" You jested. 
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Miguel chuckled. 
You two sat in comfortable silence, basking in the afterglow. You rested your head on his thigh, drawing lazy circles on his other's quads while Miguel gently rubbed your scalp, admiring the peace in your countenance.
"We should probably leave soon, I'm getting all pruny," you broke the silence.
"I do so love raisins," Miguel joked. You huffed in return.
"Shut-up, O'Hara," you spat back, feigning annoyance. You paused before continuing. "I'm gonna hold you accountable, you know."
"Hm?"
"To that promise," you clarified. "About pounding me next time."
Miguel chuckled before responding.
"It's a deal."
248 notes · View notes
unreliablesnake · 1 year
Text
Animals - part 4 (Simon “Ghost” Riley x reader)
Summary: You turn to the Military Police to get help against Simon, but this move only enrages him. Things take a tragic turn after his visit.
Note: I didn’t like writing this at all. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.
part 1 / part 2 / part 3
Warnings: afab!reader, toxic!Simon, dark!Simon, r*pe, character death. If you’re triggered by any of this or you’re a minor, DON’T READ IT!!!
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“What the fuck were you thinking, Simon?” Price yelled when the lieutenant closed the front door behind him. “Attempted rape? Harassment? Stalking? Were you even using your brain when you did these things?”
Ghost let out a groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned against the back of the couch. “She told you, I guess.” The captain nodded. “That’s her side of the story, I hope you don’t believe everything she came up with.”
“I talked to the staff of the inn where she and Soap hid from you, and the receptionist confirmed that you were there, making a scene by insisting on them still being in the building. This also means you really did track her phone.”
“I just… I didn’t want her to do anything stupid, like jumping into a relationship with Soap because she’s a little confused about her feelings for me.”
“She doesn’t love you,” Price pointed out as he watched the other man. “She’s terrified of you.”
The lieutenant tilted his head to the side and gave him a disappointed look. “Come on, John, don’t buy that crap. We aren’t on the best of terms at work, I admit that, but she wouldn’t have slept with me if she didn’t feel anything about me.”
“She did what?”
“See? I thought she would miss that little part out,” he noted dryly. “She didn’t complain about that to me.” And he was right, he knew that, mostly because you were such a good little girl for him, doing everything he said. When he left, you were sleeping peacefully in your bed, looking everything but upset.
“It only happened once?” Ghost nodded. “Look, okay, you had her consent one time, but what about the last mission? I heard what you did, and she definitely didn’t consent at that time.”
He rolled his eyes at this. “Nothing happened.”
“Because Soap arrived to tell you that I wanted to see you,” Price pointed out.
“You think I’m lying?” he asked, offended by even the idea of it. “We were just talking. Okay, maybe I kissed her, but she returned it,” he added.
“That’s not what she said.”
Ghost let out a frustrated huff as he stood straight and gave his superior an expectant look. “Fucking hell, John, this conversation is going nowhere. Do they have any evidence against me?” he asked, genuinely interested.
But Price only shook his head at this with arms folded over his chest defensively. “It’s not my job to know what they do or don’t have against you. And even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you,” he added with a pointed look.
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to hear what you had to say about this issue.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong, she’s just making shit up because she hates to admit that she wants me as well,” Ghost explained. “Are you happy? Are we done?”
“We’re done.”
Once Price left, his mind immediately turned to the possible evidence that could be in his home, starting with the drive with those precious photos and videos of you. He hated the idea of getting rid of it, but there was no other choice. He also had to reset his phone, deleting every sign of the tracking app he used to keep an eye on you.
••••••••
You looked at Soap when you let Price into the building, tense from all of the possibilities of how his conversation with Ghost went. You knew he was good at convincing people, what if he could make Price take his side in this?
The moment he entered the apartment, Soap folded his arms over his chest and asked, “So? How did it go?”
Price let out a sigh as he took off his jacket and placed it on the back of a chair. He looked tired and at least ten years older now. Whatever had happened, it certainly took its toll on him. “He denied everything. For some reason he’s convinced that you’re only confused about your feelings, but deep down you know you should be together,” he explained.
When he saw your reaction out of the corner of his eye, Soap put a hand around your shoulder and pulled you against his chest. “He’s delusional,” he noted.
Nodding, Price sat on the couch and rested his fists on his thighs as he watched you. “This is definitely not the Simon Riley I used to know.”
“Maybe he just needs professional help,” you suggested, surprising even yourself with your sudden wave of kindness and understanding. “Maybe I shouldn’t go through with the plan.”
“Hey, don’t say that. After everything you went through, he has to be punished,” Soap told you.
“You’re right, Soap, but don’t forget that she will have to testify against him,” Price pointed out. “She has to be ready for that. She has to be ready to face him.”
You didn’t want to see him ever again. He was mad at you, why wouldn’t he be, and if he knew your new number, and if you hadn’t deleted all of your social media accounts, he would definitely keep harassing you. You were surprised he hadn’t shown up at your door yet, ready to get revenge for you turning to the Military Police with this.
It wasn’t hard to tell that Soap was tense, probably already disappointed that you were hesitating. He had been by your side from the moment you had asked for his help, and you knew he would stay until the very end. He would support you while the trial lasted, giving you the strength to face Ghost.
“I hope if we go on our next mission, he won’t be there,” you said quietly, glancing over at Price from under your eyelashes.
The captain shook his head. “Of course I won’t let him near the team. But you’re staying here as well.”
“What? No, that’s the only place where I would feel safe,” you told him on the verge of a panic attack. “You can’t do this to me, you can’t expect me to stay here alone when he’s in the same city as me.”
“But you’re under way too much stress, you couldn’t focus on your job properly. The last thing I need is you or anyone else getting hurt because of a mistake,” came the reply.
He was right. You didn’t want to admit it, but Price had every right to feel this way about your return. But you couldn’t get yourself to say it out loud, and instead it was Soap who spoke up. “He’s right,” he said quietly, giving you a sympathetic look. “And I don’t think Ghost would sabotage himself by coming here when he’s under investigation.”
Price nodded and you let out a sigh. “All right.”
In the next week or so Soap remained by your side, but then he had to leave and you were left alone. It was hard to be in the apartment on your own, constantly terrified of the idea of Ghost showing up. Because he was insane, it was quite clear, and who knew how far he was willing to go to get what he wanted.
You barely left your apartment, grocery shopping was usually done online so you could stay at home, and when your neighbors knocked on your door to ask you about that man who had had so many questions about your whereabouts, you simply ignored them.
Soap regularly sent you messages to find out how you were, and even Price and Gaz sent you supportive texts every now and then. Knowing there were people out there who cared about your wellbeing made you feel better, and days passed faster thanks to them.
But before they could return from deployment, you were awakened by a loud banging on your door. You got up from the couch and took a few hesitant steps in that direction, carefully listening as if you couldn’t already guess it was him.
“Open the fucking door,” he growled, his angry tone making you gulp.
This was exactly what you had been afraid of, him showing up to get revenge for everything that had been happening lately. Shaking your head to snap out of it, you ran to the coffee table for your phone and immediately dialed Soap’s number. He didn’t answer, and your call went to voicemail in the end.
“Soap, it’s me. Ghost is here. I–I don’t think he knows I’m at home so he might go away, but if I don’t send you a message that I’m okay, call the police please.”
You weren’t lying, he didn’t know you were there. The television was off, you weren’t listening to music, there was absolutely nothing that could have given away that you were at home. As far as you knew, even your neighbors were at work, so it wasn’t possible that he had begun this visit by asking around.
Then you heard a clicking sound and the door began to open up, revealing the lieutenant’s giant frame. “H–How do you have a key?” you asked weakly.
Ghost closed the door with a grin as he pulled down the mask he wore over the bottom half of his face. “I found it when I was last inside this place.”
It must have been your spare key from the drawer of your desk. He had been alone in your apartment after the one and only time you had sex, after all he sneaked out while you were asleep. Fuck. “Leave or I’ll call the police,” you hissed.
“You can’t really think I’ll just leave you here. After all the shit you’ve put me through lately.”
“The shit I put you through? Ghost, you’ve been harassing me for a long time now, you have to face the consequences!”
Ghost bit on his lower lip as he watched you, his eyes darker all of a sudden. Every single cell in your body was screaming at you to make you run, but when you wanted to obey your instincts, your body gave in. You were frozen by fear and there was nothing you could do about it.
It should be easy, you could do it. You just had to run past him and you would be at the door in a second or two. After taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself, you began to run, hoping this would take him off guard.
But he was expecting this because he simply held out his arm and caught you by your waist. “Where are you running, sweetheart? I’m not done yet,” he whispered menacingly as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a zip tie.
Whispering weak pleads to get him to stop, to let you go, you soon realized that Ghost was not about to give up. He tied your wrists behind your back, and when you began to cry louder, begging him to think it through before doing anything, he pulled out a ball gag and put it on you.
He was prepared. What was happening now was all part of his plan. He didn’t come here to talk, he didn’t want to set things straight. No. He wanted to punish you, it was that simple. For a while he was only watching you, probably enjoying the sight of you being tied up and gagged.
After he was done admiring you, Ghost put a hand on your waist and began to push you towards the bedroom. Panic quickly filled your mind, knowing full well from the look in his eyes what was about to come. How could he be this crazy? Whatever had happened to him that made him snap like that?
Ghost suddenly pulled out a knife and began to cut up the front of your shirt with it. You didn’t feel safe at all. What could’ve been exciting and even sexy in the company of someone you trusted felt like a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. Tears were running down your cheeks but it didn’t seem to bother him, in fact, he looked rather proud of himself for turning you into this whimpering mess.
“Come on, sweetheart, don’t look this sad. You’re gonna enjoy it, trust me,” he cooed before placing a soft kiss on your forehead.
Once he removed your sweatpants and panties with one confident move, he turned you around and pushed you face-first into the mattress. He then began to move your body as if you were some doll he could fold however he wanted, making sure your ass was up in the air for him. You could feel his warm breath on your cunt, and it sent shivers down your spine.
You didn’t want this, you wished the police would arrive and help you, but something told you help wasn’t coming. You were on your own, tied, and gagged, and at the mercy of this man. When he let his tongue disappear between your folds, you began to cry even harder, your body squirming to get him to stop.
But he didn’t care, he just slapped your ass so hard you knew it would leave a red mark behind. “Stay still, love, it would be better for the both of us if you just calmed down. Try to relax. You’ll enjoy this, trust me,” he said, repeating his previous words.
Without a warning he pushed two fingers inside of you, furiously pumping as he tried to chase you to an orgasm, his other hand rubbing your clit to make the process even faster. Then another finger joined the first two, stretching you even further, and you could feel the heat pooling in your belly despite your brain trying to stop your body from reacting like this.
“That’s it baby, I can feel that you’re close,” he growled before placing a kiss on your thigh. “Come on, cum on my fingers, let me taste you again.”
And you did, you came on his hand like an obedient slut, your body going limp as he kept fucking you with his fingers. It felt good, and this thought made you feel disgusted. How could you like it when he was literally raping you? You didn’t consent, you didn’t even let him inside your apartment, yet here you were, naked and helpless.
You were snapped back to reality when you felt the head of his massive cock tease your entrance, dipping in a little for a moment before pulling out. “I wish I didn’t have to gag you,” he said as he put his palm on your back and pushed you down. “It was nice to listen to you while I fucked you the last time. But you’re a bad little girl, you can’t keep your mouth shut when you should.”
Suddenly you felt him slam his entire length into you, the move making your eyes roll back into your head from the pain. With a groan he tightened his grip on your hips and fucked you as if you were nothing more but a fleshlight. He was enjoying this way too much, and the guttural sounds and raspy moans leaving his throat made you feel nauseous.
He kept calling you a good little whore as one of his hands moved to your stomach and he pulled you up against his chest. “I wish I could put your hand on your belly so you could feel me move inside of you,” he whispered in your ear before biting on your shoulder.
You tried to turn off your brain, tried to ignore the way he abused you, but it was impossible to get him out of your mind. Your body had once again betrayed you, causing your cunt to tighten around his member as you were close to another orgasm. He kept talking to you, but you didn’t listen, you had no idea what he was saying. All you could focus on was the familiar feeling in your core, pushing you close to the edge.
You came four times in total before he finally stopped, although he didn’t pull out, instead he slowly fucked his cum back into your cunt. He told you how proud he was, what a good little slut you were for him, but he didn’t say anything about letting you go. Even as he was wiping your tears away, he kept talking about the next day, about how you’ll beg him to fuck you eventually, and how it was just the two of you from now on.
“If I take this off,” he began, pointing at the ball gag, “will you be a good girl and stay quiet?” You nodded. At this point you would have promised anything to get rid of it. “All right, let’s see if you can keep your word.”
The plan was simple. You play by his rules, stay quiet, then the moment he goes to the bathroom–because at one point he has to go out–you make a run for it.
Once your mouth was free again, Ghost leaned in to kiss you, tongue soon gliding over your lower lip to get you to open up for him. You had no choice but to return the kiss, feeling like throwing up the whole time. This was disgusting and sick and twisted, but for some reason he thought it was perfectly normal.
After some time the silence of the apartment was broken by your phone’s ringtone. You told Ghost to ignore it, hoping if the caller didn’t get a response they would send help, but he was quick to go out to the living room and check who it was. It didn’t take long to find out Soap was the one calling. The lieutenant was angry, really angry, and he almost smashed your phone against the wall.
“Tell him to stop calling,” he ordered after it began to ring for the third time. “Tell him everything’s okay and that he can stop calling you. But if you dare to say anything more… I guess you already know.”
Nodding, you waited for him to accept the call, put it on speaker, and hold the device closer to you. “Soap?” you asked hoarsely.
“Finally! Is he gone?” came his eager question.
You took a deep breath then gulped. “Everything’s fine, no need to worry.”
“Is he gone? Yes or no?”
It was hard to answer this. Every cell in your body was protesting against lying to him, you wanted to tell him the truth, that Ghost was still there with you. What’s the worst that could happen if you were honest with Soap? He fucks you again? If it meant help would come, at least you would know it would end soon.
So you took a deep breath and said, “He’s still here. I need help. Call the police, please!”
“Fuck,” said both men at the same time.
While Soap was yelling at his higher up over the phone to make him come to his senses, telling him he was calling the police as you’d asked, Ghost threw the phone on the bed and wrapped his hands tightly around your neck to strangle you.
He pushed you into the bed as he choked you, hell-bent on killing you apparently. You tried to tell Soap that he should hurry up, tried to ask Ghost to stop, but no voice left your throat. You were soon losing consciousness, falling in and out of the darkness.
••••••••
He checked several times but you had no pulse. Ghost put his hands on the back of his neck and kept telling himself this wasn’t happening. He didn’t want to hurt you, this wasn’t a part of his plan.
But when you had told Soap that you needed help, he lost it. There was nothing he could have done, his emotions got the best of him.
If the sergeant called the police, they could be there any second. He picked up your phone and unlocked it to check how long it had been since that conversation. Four minutes. He still had time to get out of your apartment. Yes, that’s what he was supposed to do now.
“I’m so sorry, love,” he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. How could he be this stupid? How could he be this irresponsible? He should have expected you to misbehave, he shouldn’t have taken the ball gag off. “Fuck!” he cursed loudly.
“Hands in the air!” he suddenly heard a voice say behind him.
It was too late. How could he not hear the sirens? With a sigh, he raised his hands and slowly stood up. There was nowhere to run. But where would he go anyway? He killed you, he killed the only good thing in his life.
He was truly the monster you’d been so afraid of all along.
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