#what sounds good vs reality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skzdarlings · 3 months

Text

bets and situations ; skz ; minho x reader

original ask: requested by anonymous: minho and “is that how you usually get out of these situations? by fucking your way out of them?” please

pairing: lee minho/reader content info: rivals to lovers. street racing. stubborn!reader. placing bets, betting sex (still explicit consent), fucking vs making love. outdoor sex. sex on a car. explicit sexual content. word count: 3400 words.

masterlist. part of the valentine’s day stories series. credit to prompts. requests are closed.

enjoy! <3

Sure, you are a little insufferable.

But Lee Minho is worse.

He carries himself with an elitist pomposity, like he is above the other drivers just because he once raced professionally. Trophies or not, he is out here with the rest of you, illegally racing cars down desert roads, placing bets in the dead of night.

You were content until this fucker came along. Lee Minho and the stupid pretty face that won him fan clubs and brand deals. Ugh. You hate him for having that life and for giving it up when it is a fantasy for you. The world of professional racing is notoriously hostile to women. You admit there is a tinge of bitterness on your side of every interaction, but he goads you like an asshole.

He arrives with his usual entourage. A couple of them are racers, though not professionals, and a couple just spectate and mind his vehicle. He has a nice car, almost as pretty as him.

You whistle as he approaches. He looks at you with his usual exasperation, delicate features pinched with annoyance. His hair was a vibrant red in his racing days, quite the act of showmanship, but it’s a natural dark brown now, framing his mean, stupid, handsome face.

“Hey, pretty boy,” you say. “Finally gonna grow a pair and race me?”

His scowl turns to a bitchy little sneer. He laughs sarcastically.

“Not worth the mileage,” he says. He shoulders past you, his leather jacket against your denim. “Winning against a little girl does nothing for my massive ego.” He says this with a sarcastic flourish, mocking your derision of him.

You know the comment is a deliberately cheap shot. Unfortunately, in reality, Minho is the least chauvinist racer you have ever met, treating the women here with the same basic dignity as the men.

It’s just you he hates, because you hate him too. It was inevitable. You were hostile when first meeting. You challenged him to a few too many personal races. You were a sore loser and even worse winner. What started as an effort to prove something spiralled into a rivalry.

You won the last couple races. You gloated a little too hard and now he is refusing to race you again.

“Sure,” you say. “Sounds to me like you’re scared to lose for the third time in a row.”

He just keeps walking, ignoring you, which is so much more infuriating than when he snaps back.

You decide to keep your distance tonight. If you continue to agitate yourself, you are going to develop a stress aneurysm. So you keep to your own group, race your own races, and collect your own winnings.

But, ugh.

He is right there.

Just in the corner of your eye, just skirting the periphery of your space, just breathing the same night air. When you are looking at him, he captivates you. When you look away, he is like an impossible itch, begging for your attention again. You constantly catch him looking at you too, which does not help matters.

By the end of the night, you feel like a live wire, all electricity and unbound energy. Not a single race has satisfied you. You won three of four, making way more money than you lost, but it is not enough. It is never enough. You already know how good you are. You know you can beat most of these guys blindfolded.

Your only perfect match is Lee Minho. The only victory that matters is that one.

As the crowd disperses and everyone departs, you march towards him. He is saying goodbye to his crewmates, his back to you, but his buddy cracks a grin when he sees you coming. He smacks Minho on the shoulder before turning away.

Minho turns around with a befuddled look on his face. When he sees you, it slackens to that unamused vexation. He pockets his hands in his leather jacket and slouches against his car. He shakes his head as you stomp up to him.

“One race,” you say.

“No,” he replies, without missing a beat.

“Why not?”

“Because I said so,” is his insufferable reply.

“That’s not an answer,” you say.

“That’s too bad.” He gives you a final shrug then turns, opening his car door, preparing to leave.

“Wait,” you say.

You heart is racing. Somehow, you feel like tonight is different from every other night. Maybe it is the perfect crispness on the breeze, the remarkably clear sky, or maybe just the way those jeans seem to hug his thighs. Stupid hottie. You will have him and his attention. You will get the better of him, one way or another. It was all leading to this.

“One race,” you say. “A bet worth the mileage.”

“I don’t need your money,” he says.

“I’m not offering money,” you reply.

Finally, he closes the car door. He sighs, a very loud and dramatic sigh, like you are the biggest inconvenience on earth.

“What are you offering?” he says, facing you. The disinterest in his tone is betrayed by the curious sweep of his gaze, an up-and-down perusal like he expects to find his prize somewhere on your body.

Oh.

You feel flushed inside, realizing that it exactly what he is thinking. Looking at you with a hungry, lecherous gaze, anticipating you are about to offer up yourself as a potential prize.

It makes your heart stutter and your lips do the same, your next words all tangled up on your tongue. It did not even occur to you to offer such a thing. You hate him, so of course you would never think about him that way. But now that he is looking at you like that, his expression coloured with interest and suggestion, you find yourself too shocked to even parse your feelings.

The only thing that is obvious, abundantly obvious, is the punch of heat in your gut. No, lower. Heat that curls up inside you and makes you second guess. Heat that is curious about the look in his eye.

Then you shake your head. You resist the urge to smack him for throwing you off. You were in control and now you are flustered.

“Not me,” you snap.

His eyes, which have made their way down your whole body, follow the same path up. He meets your gaze eventually. Then he says nothing, because he is the worst, and just lifts an eyebrow at you.

“My car,” you say, with no-nonsense finality. “I bet my car.”

He blinks at you. Long, slow blinks like a cat. It takes him a second to find a sentence.

“Your car,” he says. He tilts his head and squints, looking at you with scrutiny, like he is trying to see through your ploy. “And what do you want if you win?”

“Admit I’m the better driver once and for all,” you say. The words feel a little foolish leaving your mouth. You have been chasing the high of that confession, aggravated every time he dodged it, but saying it out loud makes you feel needy. You clear your throat and stand straight like you are unbothered. “That’s all I want,” you say.

He rubs a hand across his jaw, laughs incredulously, then swings his arms out at his sides.

“Fine,” he says.

By now, everyone else has gone. It is just you and him under the streetlights, the long empty road stretched across the dunes ahead. You stare at one another, like there is no road and no sky, no world at all outside each other. It is intense and all-consuming.

You hold out a hand. He takes it and yanks you closer to him.

“I would have told you that for free,” he says. “Since it’s the truth. You just had to ask.”

Now it is your turn to blink, looking at him with shock. You would have been less stupefied if he called you a tirade of rude names, or tried to weave doubts in your mind. Instead, he smiles at you, and it is not half as smarmy as usual. He drops your hand and turns away, leaving you gawking at the air as he ducks into his car.

He honks the horn, snapping you to attention.

The heat rushes back in a hurry. You swallow, then walk to your car on suddenly shaky legs.

He wins.

Of course he wins.

You were distracted by his parting words. You and him are so closely matched in skill that a fleeting weakness is all it takes for one to overtake the other. You were faring well at the start, but his engine revved and your attention strayed. Your prize was somewhat nullified by his confession, your behaviour embarrassing in hindsight. You bet your car. What were you thinking?

You weren’t. And it was all his fault.

Your car skids to a screaming halt just seconds after him. You smack the steering wheel with frustration.

Maybe I should have just bet my body, you think to yourself, a thought that has you shivering from something other than adrenaline. Thoughts like that are not like you. And Lee Minho is the last man on earth you could ever want. Even though he is simultaneously the only man you want, or at least the only one with an opinion that matters, the only man whose attention you ever want. He is always the highlight of your night.

Oh god, you think with a nervous twist in your gut, I like that arrogant loser.

Facing him is hard and it has nothing to do with losing your car.

He is not gloating because he is not the type. He is just leaning against his vehicle with his arms crossed, watching your nerves and passion get the better of you. He does not flinch when you get right in his face, huffing from exertion.

“Do-over,” you say.

“Absolutely not,” he replies.

“You got in my head on purpose.”

“I can only do that if you let me in,” he says, looking smug.

“One more race,” you insist.

“You have nothing left to bet.”

“Me,” you blurt. “I bet myself.”

You feel some satisfaction at the flicker of surprise that creases his brow, but then he is just staring and blinking again. Your heart still thinks it is in a race, stampeding so far ahead that your whole body is awash with heat.

“You,” he finally says. His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, then he tilts his head in that studious way. “What does that mean?”

You feel so hot it is making you a little woozy. It’s just aftershocks from the race, you tell yourself, even though that heat comes from somewhere much more intimate.

You cross your arms stubbornly. You look away. You even stomp your foot.

“You know what I fucking mean,” you snap.

“Is that how you usually get out of these situations?” he asks in a teasing tone. “By fucking your way out of them?”

You refuse to answer. You arms are still crossed, your face still turned.

He touches your chin, a painfully delicate touch. Whenever you do fuck someone, it is hard and fast, like everything else you enjoy. Your greatest rival should be touching you with the roughest touch of all, but it is the very opposite. It is a suggestion of a touch, little more than a caress as he turns your face to his. You swallow until the intense focus of his sharp eyes.

“I don’t fuck like that,” he says. He bats his pretty eyelashes while smirking like a devil. “I don’t have to make bets. I make love to people because they want it. Sorry.” He rolls his eyes and turns away, wiggling his fingers in a sarcastic good-bye wave as he slides into his driver seat. “You can keep your car. I don’t want or need it. Good night.”

You put yourself between the door and car, stopping him from closing it. He looks at you, eyes narrowed more intensely.

“Now, now,” he says.

“I’m a big girl,” you snap. “I don’t need you protecting my honour. I wouldn’t offer to let you fuck me if I didn’t mean it.”

He stares at you, contemplative behind those dark eyes. He has just returned your vehicle so you have no reason to make another bet, other than to prove the veracity of your previous offer: that you do want to fuck him, even if you don’t want to admit it.

“I told you that you can keep your car,” he says.

You are amazed smoke is not blowing out of your ears, considering how hot your face feels.

“I heard you,” you say.

He gets out of the car slowly, holding your gaze the entire time. You take a step back.

Then he walks at you, which forces you to take another backwards step. Step by step across the tarmac. The breeze tousles a bit of his hair, but nothing stops his stride and his eyes never leave yours.

You find it difficult to catch your breath. Garnering this man’s undivided attention has been your only goal for months, and the reality of it is heady. He is intoxicating.

It seems the feeling is reciprocated, given how he looks at you, which just makes you stumble in your backwards trek. He catches your wrist, tugging you upright, yanking you closer. You collide with his chest, disoriented from so little.

“So,” he says. “If you win, we fuck. And if I win, we make love. Is that correct?”

“Whatever, there’s no difference,” you say. You are instinctively combative when flustered, redirecting the source of your embarrassment to confrontation.

It seemingly works. His attention diverts and he says, “Yes, there is.”

“No, there isn’t.”

“Yes, there—” He stops himself from retaliating with the same childish rejoinder. He props his hands on his hips, shaking his head at himself as he stares up at the stars.

Eventually he huffs, rakes his teeth over his bottom lip, then looks at you.

“Fine,” he says. “We’ll race.”

Your heart is already revving like an engine. You take another couple steps back to smirk at him triumphantly. You walk right into your car, that smug face dropping in surprise. It gives him the opportunity to crowd you against it, planting his hands on either side of your head. You hold your breath.

“You have to pass my test first,” he says.

“Excuse me!” Your own incredulity resounds. You smack his chest but he does not move.

“It’s just two questions,” he says. “You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”

He is tormenting you. You hate him. You hope he never stops.

“Fine,” you snap. His smirk makes your whole belly swoop with anticipation.

“Good,” he says, then stands back.

You hold his stare, refusing to show any weakness. At least you can catch your breath in the space between you.

Then he says, “Get on your knees.”

Your legs are already shaky – from nerves, from the dwindling adrenaline of your race. There are a lot of reasons your knees buckle. Plenty of explanations for why you do not hesitate, sinking to your knees right there on the road.

Your gaze drops, flustered by his demand and your response. You look at his shoes, all black, well-worn, scuffing the tarmac as he steps towards you.

“Now tell me,” he says, then gathers a fistful of your hair and yanks your head back. He meets your gaze as he says, “Is this fucking or making love?”

Then his fingers are in your mouth. You let him in without any hesitation, like your whole body is instinctively attuned to his. His grip is firm, his fingers relentless, undoubtedly fucking your mouth with the sloppy, mean thrust you would expect from an enemy. Still, it feels good, unbelievably so, your mouth wet and hot and his fingers sliding over your tongue, the soft suction of your lips making his eyes blaze and his throat bob as he swallows.

When he slides out, a trail of spit connects his fingers to your lips. Your lips quiver with a shuddering breath.

“Well?” he says.

You swallow, but eventually manage a weak, “Fucking.”

“Good,” he says, grinning that wicked grin. “That’s one out of two. How about this one?”

He drops to his knees. You are face-to-face now, kneeling on the road in the dead of night. There are no witnesses to this scene except maybe the stars, the clear night revealing all your secrets.

His face is as open, his expression suddenly so devastatingly soft and vulnerable. Your breath stutters before he even moves. He cups your cheeks with both hands and draws you to him.

Your eyes close when your lips touch. He strokes his thumbs across your cheeks and licks into your mouth with decadent slowness, like he wants to savour every second of your taste. Your mouths move together like they were made for each other, never racing too far ahead. A perfect give-and-take.

When he stops, you feel dizzy and bereft, but only for a second. He cups your jaw and tilts your face just so, then his fingers are parting your tender lips and the taste of him is on your tongue once more. Your eyes close and you moan thoughtlessly, bobbing your head to the gentle rhythm he sets.

“This,” he says in a feathery-light voice.

You shiver as he slowly withdraws his fingers. He wipes his thumb across your lips to clean you. You let him cup your chin and tilt your face, this time so he can look you in the eye.

“Tell me what we’re doing,” he says.

The suggestion makes you throb. You are hot and aching when you admit, “Making love.”

“Good,” he says, then pecks your lips before rolling onto the balls of his feet and shooting upright. “Now we can race.”

It is a perfect draw.

You are both distracted. When you slam on the brakes in the same place at the same moment, it is with a singular purpose in mind.

Doors slam. You meet in the space between your vehicles.

“I won,” you say, just to be argumentative.

He is shrugging out of his jacket. It his the ground. He does not break his stride, already going for his belt. Your knees nearly buckle again.

“Fine,” he replies. “Then get over here. I’m fucking you on the hood of my car.”

Fucking you is exactly what he does. It is not making love. He strips you methodically, your jacket and shirt and bra. Your jeans get shoved down past your knees and he bends you over the hood, still warm from the purring engine. You are hot and frantic, cheek pressed to the hood of your rival’s car while he works you open and shoves himself inside you.

You make a sharp sound then a low moan, hands plastered to the hot hood. He fucks you like he races you, without holding anything back because he knows you can take him.

It feels as primal as a race, the animal instinct that conquers you in a rush of adrenaline. It is your singular focus, the steady thud of him inside you. You do not care about appearances, about seeming ridiculous, meeting every thrust and moan with your own. He sounds good and feels better, your bodies in harmony, chasing each other to the finish line.

He yanks you up, your back arching as he turns your head for a kiss. It puts you over, clenching hard around him, setting him off. He makes a soft sound then groans with pleasure. He stays there for a minute, both of you breathing hard.

“I want you to keep your car,” he finally speaks, “because I need you to come back tomorrow and race me again.”

You gasp when his hand moves between your legs, working you up again, slowly but surely.

“Because next time I’ll win,” he says. “You sounded so good getting fucked. I want to see your face when you come on my cock again and again from making love.”

“Won’t happen,” you say, even while your on the cusp of doing just that.

“Mm,” he says, then laughs that light, evil laugh as you come all over his hand. He kisses the side of your head and says, “Wanna bet?”

#lee know x reader #lee know smut #lee minho x reader #lee minho smut #skz x reader #skz smut #stray kids x reader #skz x you #lee know x you #lee minho x you #valentinesdaystories

2K notes · View notes

bunny-queen · 2 months

Text

3d vs 4d

This is one of the big epiphanies I've had recently, and it's going to sound questionable. Or not. Ig many other LOA blogs have thought of this before but I'm still figuring out the logic of things lmfao

nothing you do in the 3D has any impact whatsoever. It has no consequences. Nothing comes out of it, good or bad.

YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE 3D BY ACTING IN THE 3D

babes, the 3d is dead. Like legit. It's a fire gone out, you can't do anything with it. It holds no power, none whatsoever

That might seem daunting at first, but it's actually freeing: it doesn't matter!!! It doesn't matter if you saw bad grades on your last few exams, it doesn't matter what the reflection in the mirror is like, it's DEAD!!!!!

Even more, you don't have to force yourself to do anything you dislike out of hope of changing your circumstances: you don't have to study 9 hours a day, you don't have to workout religiously, you don't have to diet, because nothing done in the 3D has consequences to the REAL world

Which, finally means, that ALL CHANGE must be achieved in the 4d

Aka in your mind

Now's the part where you cry from joy and say "oh my god I'm so relieved" bc baby changing things in your mind is literally the easiest thing in the world

Going through class after class thinking "no I can't sleep I need to study more" is depressing, so instead of it you can retreat to your mind and tell yourself all you want to hear

"I've already passed my exams"

"My past grades were all A's"

"I am the perfect student"

And that's it. It's done. The minute you tell yourself these things, you've done not only everything you could—you've done everything you HAD to

You don't need to do anything in the 3d

You've changed your perception of things and now your outer world will reflect it

By retreating into your mind and telling yourself all you want to hear, you are effectively shaping your reality

And there are NO bad consequences associated with it, unless you think there are

Meaning; you won't fail your exams bc instead of studying you meditated and changed your state

...except if you obsess over that possibility and give it power

Then it might happens

But if it does, no panic, continue denying everything you don't like about the 3d, and it is BOUND to change

Nothing's ever a lost cause, nothing's set in stone

You are safe from everything in your mind

Your only job is to change your inner world. That's it

#law of assumption #manifesting #loassumption #loa tumblr #shiftblr #shifting #loa blog

992 notes · View notes

leonstoenailunderhisbed · 30 days

Text

American Psycho Killer

Summary: Leon S. Kennedy, a man who’s taken his duty of protection very seriously. He’ll do anything to ensure the safety of people, especially the safety of one particular girl.

Warning: stalking, murdering, mentions of planned murder, mentions of drugs and drug abuse, gore (kinda), death, masturbation (m receiving), smut, creampie, yan!leon, not proofread lol, fem reader, psychopathic.

A/N: I did my research for this as I wanted this to sound a little spooky teehee :3

“I got you under my skin” - Mirotic, TVXQ!

Psychopath vs. Sociopath. The popular argument in between psychologists.

Leon never really cared enough to get himself checked out but there were signs. He didn’t feel empathy for others, his moves were calculated and he’s highly educated. He has a well paying career, he pretends to be this normal guy when in reality, he’s psychopathic.

What defines a psychopath apart from a sociopath? Psychopaths, at least in Leon’s case, cannot form established bonds with others. He doesn’t feel guilt or sad when he sees a person die by his hands.

His job already requires him to kill so this was an easy feat. He doesn’t care. He can’t feel anything.

He couldn’t feel anything until you came along.

Leon lived in this apartment complex just downtown of a city in the state. The apartment was big and had security cameras all around. It was well guarded and the people were kind.

When he saw the new neighbor move in, he felt weird. He narrowed his eyes as he watched you from the window of his apartment loft. He was growing suspicious at his behavior. Why did his chest feel warm? Why is his heart beating fast? Why are his hands sweating?

He didn’t know. Up to this point he didn’t feel anything but you brought something to him and it made him uneasy. So he decided to keep an eye on you.

Days passed after you moved in and you settled just fine. The old lady at the end of the hall brought you cookies, a sweet old lady. She talked to Leon a few times and he didn’t think much of her other than just as his neighbor. Nothing more.

But if you were to ask him what he thought of you? Oh boy, he thought a lot of things. Both good and bad.

Being a psychopath isn’t praised in society. Only 1% of the population is considered one and no one knew he belonged to that percentage. And he’d like to keep it that way; his excuse for his behavior was his job. He always left early in the morning and came back late at night. A manipulator and a liar is what he was, and a very good one.

He’s seen you leave your apartment from time to time. You’d take out the trash, went out with your friends- he’s seen everything you do.

Leon isn’t stupid, he’s attentive and observant. He leaves no trace behind of the murder he just committed. The male neighbor across from your door saw you one day when you walked out of your door with a short dress.

The man eye-fucked you so much he literally almost started drooling. Leon cringed and found him repulsive. How dare he look at you like you were some meat on the market?

He felt anger and disgust. No one should look at you like that. No one.

So, one summer day, he made up an excuse to visit him. Something about a water pipe connecting to his sink that didn’t make it work. Like I said, Leon is a good manipulator and a good liar. He always gets what he wants.

The male neighbor invited him in and closed the door behind him. He offered Leon a beer, to which he refused. He found liquor and other substances repulsive. He walked over to the man’s kitchen sink and began to inspect it.

He noticed the man’s sink had a garbage disposal unit. That’s pretty dangerous, he thought to himself.

He walked over to where the man was sitting. The male neighbor was sitting on his reclining couch as he watched a game with a cup of beer on the stand next to him. The neighbor was so engrossed on the football game that he didn’t notice Leon slipping something into his drink.

Leon was smart. Dangerously smart. He knew everything when it came to death- he worked in the DSO, of course he knew some things. He knew the effects of alprazolam and what it does to the brain.

So when he lied to a psychiatrist about his insomnia and got prescribed some Xanax, he crushed a high dosage into fine powder and slipped it into the man’s beer.

Stupid bastard, Leon thought to himself.

He watched as the male neighbor took a sip of his drink and Leon waited. Xanax is a powerful drug, can cause hallucinations and make your brain become a little too calm. You’re bound to fall asleep at some point. And with the amount Leon dropped into his drink, he knew he’d knock out sooner than later.

After a few minutes of “tinkering” with the man’s sink. He got up and went to check on the man again.

And sure as hell did the man find himself in a profound slumber. His snores layering with the sound of the TV.

Too easy, Leon smirked to himself. He put on some elastic gloves and made sure he wore shoes that wouldn’t leave footprints. In case things would get messy, of course.

He poured the man’s drink down the sink to get rid of the evidence. He then thought hard about how he should go about this.

There’s many different ways one can commit murder but Leon wanted the cleanest one. So he came up with one.

He brought pans to the stove and made it seem like the man was cooking something for himself. He partially cooked a stupid egg and left it there. Leon went back to where the man was sitting and dragged him out of his couch and towards the kitchen. Since this man’s place was small, the kitchen and dining area were joined together. He sat there man down on the dining table, which happened to be near the stove. He took out the man’s phone and put it in the man’s hand to make it seem like he was using it.

Leon went back to the kitchen and continued to prepare the scene. He took out bottles of alcohol the man had and poured them down the drain to make it look like he’d had a few drinks. He took a single cup from the cup rack and filled it up halfway. With the cup and bottle of whiskey in both hands, he walked back to the table where the man was sitting and laid them on the table. He took the half empty cup and smeared the man’s lip on the rim. You must cover every single detail.

He even poured a little alcohol into the man’s already parted lips. Leon walked back to the stoved and kept the gas on. Now all he needed to do was wait and let nature do its thing.

Leon walked out of his apartment, pretending to still be talking to the man since there was a camera on the corner of the hall. As the door opened, the camera couldn’t record that Leon had been talking to himself. It made the act believable.

With a smile, Leon walked back to his place and stayed there.

A few hours passed and it started to get dark outside, each resident was inside their unit and ready to go to sleep when the fire alarm began to sound. Everyone was forced to evacuate the premises as the firefighters came to the scene.

You saw as the ambulance brought out a stretcher into the building. Someone was still inside, you thought to yourself as your eyes widened and your heart rate increased. You tried to move but felt someone’s hand on your arm, it was Leon.

“Don’t. It’s too dangerous,” he replied in a serious tone as he stared at you with those cold blue eyes. You pinched your brows together. He was right. If you were to try and save the person, you’d die in the process. You nodded defeatedly and he let go of your arm. He stood there watching you- analyzing you.

You had a good heart, he thought. Too good for his liking. That made you an easy target for people and he loathed the idea of people exploiting your kindness. He vowed to protect you, to mark his hands dirty for you.

As the EMT brought back the stretcher, you could see a person lying there lifeless. All the other residents immediately started to mutter amongst themselves, some started to cry and others gasped in shock. You simply stood there, wide eyed and jaw slack. Leon’s expression remained unchanged as he watched you react to the man’s death. The man deserved it, he thought to himself.

Couldn’t you see that he was protecting you? You’ll come around eventually, he thought.

As the ambulance left the area, the firefighters started to clear the smoke as the police arrived. The police began to do their investigation as the firefighters checked the unit and deemed it good after clearing out the fire and the smoke. One police officer began to make her way to the apartment as the other stayed behind with the residents to ask questions.

Leon was a smooth talker. A trait most psychopaths had. He could get himself out of any situation and he could lie. So when the police asked him what had happened, Leon simply replied with, “I’m not sure. I went to his apartment to check his water supply as my sink stopped working and he lived next to me. I noticed he was making himself some food but I was too busy checking our pipes. He reeked of alcohol and barely spoke to me,” Leon’s tone was different. He sounded likey he spoke the truth.

You couldn’t help but listen to his words. To you, they are true. You saw him walk out of the man’s apartment.

The investigation was deemed as self-manslaughter. The police believed that the man suffered from deliberate alcohol poisoning which caused him to pass out in the process of cooking himself some food.

This made news headlines. Everyone believed the story but they thought the man was stupid enough to cook while he was drunk. Many of the residents believed it, he was a known alcoholic. Leon was never caught.

He was watching you from the window, months after the incident occurred. You had just come back from your college lecture. Leon knew. He stalked you, he followed you.

He knew your weekly routine. Monday through Thursday you had lectures. On Friday, you did work study. And the weekends were reserved for your personal time. He felt proud of you for balancing your life. You lived healthily and he couldn’t help but feel proud at your decisions. He knew you were smart enough to take care of yourself.

He knew the campus you went to, he knew the classes you were taking, he knew your major- he knew everything. But he pretended like he didn’t.

So when he saw you in the parking lot, right next to his car and you had trouble with your groceries, he couldn’t help but feel like your knight in shining armor. With his hardened expression, he asked you in his stern and serious voice, “Need some help?”

You smiled sheepishly and nodded, “Yeah… you don’t mind helping me?” You scratched your head awkwardly. On the inside, he found it adorable. But on the outside, he maintained his cool. He nodded and walked over to your car to retrieve the bags of groceries you bought. He was so strong he carried all the bags to your apartment door. You thanked him graciously and invited him inside.

“You can put them on the table, I’ll assort them,” you said as you took of your jacket and hanged it on the rack right next to the door. He nodded and walked over to the dining table, where he put all the bags with food. He took this opportunity to look around your place.

You kept it simple. It was nice, colorful, but nice. You had tons of books on your shelves, he took a mental note that you probably liked to stay indoors. He noticed the way your laptop and a few papers were scattered on the couch and coffee table, you were studious and dedicated to your education. He silently applauded you in his head. He liked that about you. You had goals and ambitions.

“Thank you, again. I owe you one,” you walked up to him and gave him a warm, genuine smile. He looked down at you and nodded again. Pretty smile, he thought to himself.

“It’s no problem, let me know if you need help with anything. I’m a couple doors away,” he replied with his usual serious tone. He remained unchanged, at least to you. To him, he felt like he about to combust into pieces. You were perfect, absolutely perfect.

Days went by and you found yourself talking to Leon more often. Or at least on the days you could. Leon was gone most of the day, he told you about his hectic work schedule and you couldn’t help but feel bad about him. So you decided to make him a small dinner with a note.

You left it on the front door of his apartment and walked back to yours. When Leon came back from work, it was 2:27 a.m. As he climbed up the steps of the stairs, he noticed something on his front door and felt slightly confused. He hasn’t ordered anything. He grew cautious and slowly approached his door. But then he saw your name on a sticky note. He quickly picked up the lunch box and walked inside his apartment.

Walking to his dining table, he read the note you left. Even your handwriting was perfect. The little swirls of the letters, almost writing in cursive made him want to keep you all to himself. He brought the piece of paper to his nose and sniffed it roughly, the paper crumbling in his hands as he could smell your scent on it. He groaned in pleasure as he could imagine your soft and small hands picking up a pen and write something just for him.

Just for him.

That thought alone almost set him off. He couldn’t eat dinner, not with the growing erection in his pants. He put the dinner you made in his freezer and quickly walked to his bedroom. He sat down on his bed and unbuckled his belt, throwing it somewhere on the floor. He pulled down his pants and boxers and watched as his cocked sprung freely, hitting his abdomen with a thwack.

His left hand held the piece of water with your handwriting and your scent while his right hand traveled to his cock. He brought the piece of paper to his nose again and closed his eyes in pure delight. Your scent was intoxicating- sweet vanilla with a hint of coffee. He grunted and moaned at the thought of your hands picking writing this note. He could picture your small hands wrapping his big cock, rubbing his base up and down as your scent infiltrated his airway.

His muscles tensed up as the thought of having you in between his legs made his cock throb. His stomach coiled as he felt himself nearing his orgasm. He could imagine your mouth sucking on his cock as he rammed his hips deeper down your throat, making you gag on him. He’d grab your hair and pull you closer to his pelvic area, having his blonde pubic hair rub against your face as you took his cock like a good girl.

He growled your name as he came in himself. White ropes shooting down at his palm as he tried to collect his cum and prevent it from staining any of his furniture. He sighed softly and laid his back on the mattress as he thought of you.

You drive him wild, he’d do anything for you. If it meant having you as his.

And that’s what drove him to kill more people. One day, he overheard you while both of you “coincidentally” went to get the mail from the lobby. You were speaking on the phone to a friend and he tried to make it seem like he wasn’t listening. But he was.

He heard you talk about how your ex is pestering you and giving you a hard time. That you cried last night because you two had an argument while he tried to get back together. His blood ran through his veins as you mentioned you cried.

He’d kill anyone who made this sweet and perfect angel cry. And that’s what his next murder was going to be. He went back to his apartment and began to stalk you again. As a government agent, he had privileges the common folk didn’t have. He was able to run a background check on you and found out your ex. To his surprise, he was your first and only relationship so far. He knew this guy probably broke your heart as your first relationship will always be your worst one.

He narrowed his eyes in anger as he found the man who broke your heart. And jotted down the information he had on him- his address, his workplace, his contact information, etc. Leon found everything thanks to his job.

When you heard news about your ex dying, you were shocked to see that he died from overdose. You’ve never known he was a drug addict, or at least that’s what Leon made it seem to be.

Leon drove all the way this man’s house and observed his routine. Your ex went to work, came back home, and went to the bar. An alcoholic, this made it easier for him.

Leon walked into the bar with his casual clothes, he spotted the man sitting on the bar counter with a drink already in his hand. He walked over and sat next to him as he ordered himself whiskey.

Your ex was already stupidly drunk, flirting up some poor girl who was just trying to talk to her friend. So he’s a creep too, he thought to himself as he took a sip his drink.

Why do you always find yourself around creepy and perverted men?

Leon looked around and made sure no one was watching him as slipped some stuff into his drink. Leon then continued to sip his drink and even chatted up the bartender.

The more your ex drank, the closer he got to an overdose. Turns out if you mix alcohol with prednisone, the effects could be fatal. Your ex would develop a liver damage that could potentially end his life if he kept drinking like he was right now.

It was getting late and Leon paid his tab. It was 11 PM and he decided he should go home. He wasn’t drunk, not yet at least. So he was perfectly capable of driving back to his apartment. But not your ex.

It was nearing closing time for the bar and the poor bartender saw your ex passed out on the counter. She didn’t know what to do but she tried waking him up.

Unresponsive. Her eyes widened slightly as she over to his side and checked for a pulse.

Flat line. She called the police and reported the death.

The police declared it suicide. They believed he voluntarily took drugs and alcohol at the same time.

In your mind, you were in denial but then you slowly began to think to yourself. He’s been acting weird and out of the ordinary when he’d talk about getting back together. It all made sense now. His aggressive behavior, his short temper… he was a drug addict and an alcoholic.

You attended the funeral, of course. And when you came back, Leon had been unlocking his door. He saw your puffy eyes as you had your heels in your hands. You looked like you’ve been crying- which you probably were. Leon paused as he stared at you, he nodded once at you, acknowledging your presence. He then spoke up in a tired voice, “Rough day?”

You nodded as you blinked slowly, “You could say that.”

He hummed in response and looked back down at his doorknob. Then he looked back to you, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Leon himself was tired as he just came back from a tough mission, but he would never be too tired for you. He pushed his exhaustion to the side and would rather take care of your needs for you.

You sighed and nodded slowly, “I could use a drink.”

He invited you over to his apartment and let you sit down on his couch as he took two glasses and one bottle of Jack. He walked over to the couch and set down the glasses and the bottle on the coffee table as he sat down next to you.

He began to pour for the both of you, not wanting you to work any more than you’ve already had.

“Cheers,” you muttered under your breath as you clanked your glass with his and chugged the liquid down your throat. The burning sensation almost making you forget about the mental strain you had.

He watched you as you set down the glass back down on the coffee table. Even in this state, you looked absolutely beautiful. He couldn’t wait to have you for himself. To prove to you that what you needed was a real man.

One thing let to another and you found yourself pinned under him on his bed. Your legs spread open as your knees rested on his shoulders. The head of his cock abusing your cervix, bruising it with brute force as he pulled out and pushed back in harshly. His balls smacking against your ass as his arms caged you under him. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails clawing deep into his flesh as the bed creaked from him pounding into you. The headboard hitting the wall behind the bed as he pulled out and forced his cock back into your tight walls. Your cunt clenching around his member as his hands gripped on your hair, forcing your head up so he could hear your stupid blabber.

He pulled out and rolled you over to your stomach. His left hand gripped on your waist as his right hand gripped the back of your neck and pushed your face down the sheets of his bed as he rammed his cock from behind you. Your ass jiggling as pounded harsher and harsher. Making sure you knew who you belonged to. He’d fuck you until you couldn’t walk.

You kept moaning his name against his pillow. Drool falling down your lips as tears rolled down your cheeks from the pleasure. You felt him even deeper from this position. His left hand gripped on your waist as it then traveled down to your ass and smacked, almost immediately seeing his hand print show in a pink and red hue on your skin. The burning sensation of the slap only made you more needy for his touch. His left hand found your hip and forced your body to clash against his as he fucked you straight to bliss.

Stars clouded your eyes as you whimpered and moaned. He cock throbbed and twitched inside of you as it stretched you. It hurt but it hurt good. His right hand gently squeezed the back of your throat, causing you to moan.

“Fuck- Leon- ‘mma cum-“ you spoke breathlessly in between moans and whimpers. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Cum for me,” he pressed a kiss on your shoulder blade as he felt you squirm under him. Your body convulsing as your orgasm took the best of you.

Your pussy clamped and clenched around him, wedging him with your juices. He didn’t stop, however. He kept pounding into you as the squelching sound echoed through his room.

He grunted and growled as he felt himself about to cum. He began to speed up and he let go of your neck. Now that both of his hands were on your hips, he gripped the fat of them and forced your body in and out of his cock. Bruising your cervix as your ass hit his hips. The sweat making your skin glisten under the shitty light of his room. You looked even more beautiful when he was fucking you like this.

His hot and sticky cum spurted out of his cock, coating your walls with a part of himself. In his sick and twisted mind, he branded you. He branded you with his essence and he didn’t regret it. He pulled out and heard you moan dumbly as he watched his cum slowly drip down the lips of your cunt to his bedsheet. He’d have to clean them but he didn’t care. He gave your ass a gentle squeeze as he patted your back for you to lay down. He knew you enjoyed it so much since you were on the brink of passing out.

You closed your eyes and felt as Leon cleaned you up. He took your hand and placed a gentle kiss on you knuckles. He was grateful to have you.

He wouldn’t mind killing again. Now that you were his in his mind, he’d go as far as killing every man who’s ever laid eyes on you.

For you, he’d become the world’s best serial killer.

797 notes · View notes

shockmastervoidstate · 1 month

Text

The pre-void state vs the real void state — differences, how to enter the real void state and my experience yesterday

Hey, void explorers, there are a couple of things I want to talk about regarding the void state.

Pre-void state vs the real void state — key differences

When you attempt to achieve the void state or shift realities, you might experience typical symptoms which could be confused with the void state.

These include: feelings of rotating, floating, flying or falling through empty space, often while seeing stars and galaxies or other lights and often while hearing buzzing sounds, wind noises, voices, music or other sounds.

Shifters and void explorers used to falsely believe that this is the void state, but it's not. If you experience the symptoms above, you are close and "get a taste" of the void, but you aren't there yet.

There is no failure and no randomness in the void state. If you shift from the void, you are guaranteed to end up exactly in the reality you want to be in.

In the void, there is also no movement and nothing to hear or see — unless you intend(ed) to manifest these things in the void.

It's also impossible to shift back to the CR involuntarily, because when you are in the void, you achieved a complete detachment and separation from your CR and your CR body.

The same cannot be said about the pre-void state. In this state, you haven't fully detached/separated from your CR yet.

You can manifest and shift from the pre-void state, but success isn't guaranteed.

In fact, when I shift from the pre-void state, I usually end up in random realities and can only stay there for a couple of minutes to a couple of hours.

How to enter the real void state from the pre-void state

Use any of the community's methods or your own method to shift or enter the void state.

If you end up in the pre-void state, here's how to enter the real void state. This information is from successful shifters on amino, reddit and Tumblr.

When you are in the pre-void state, keep doing your method and ignore the symptoms. (If your method is no longer relevant, repeat affirmations like "I am in the void state" or or simply "I am")

Ignore the floating, the sounds, the sights, the sensations. Don't react to anything.

Instead, keep going until you are in the real void. Try not to get excited. This will be easy once you've experienced the pre-void many times.

You can try to shift to your DR from the pre-void state, but as I explained, success from shifting from the pre-void isn't guaranteed.

My experience yesterday

Enough of the lecturing, it's story time. I practiced what I preached yesterday.

Yesterday evening, before going to bed, I relaxed and repeated affirmations like "I can enter the void state", "entering the void state is easy" etc.

Did this for one and a half hour and got rewarded for my efforts the following day.

When I went to sleep, I just repeated the affirmation "I am" over and over again until I fell asleep.

I had a random dream and at a random point, I fell through the floor, became conscious of myself and experienced the pre-void state.

Had all the symptoms I talked about. I felt like flying through a black space and saw a white galaxy like the Milky Way ahead.

Kept repeating "I am".

...

Despite my best efforts, I woke up in the CR.

It was still a nice experience. I feel refreshed, because even the pre-void state is therapeutic thanks to the freedom and limitlessness it allows you to experience for a very brief moment.

I'm taking a break today and will attempt to achieve the void state tomorrow. I did a good job of ignoring very invasive distractions I encountered in the pre-void, including voices. Next time, I will do even better.

-shockmaster

#void state #the void state #shifting realities

428 notes · View notes

zzzzzestforlife · 2 months

Text

✏️ what no one tells you about how to journal 📒

i was sick of all the "how to journal" content out there recycling the same advice that sounds great but doesn't always work in the reality of daily life. you're welcome 😏 (also low-key a shitpost, but there are nuggets of wisdom in here, i promise 😇)

✍️ what to journal about ✍️

sure, you could journal about self development and treat your diary like your therapist, OR you could write about:

the pettiest grudge you're still holding onto from elementary school 😤

all the gossip about other people's lives that you have Strong Opinions™️ about, but you're a good person, so what goes in the journal, stays in the journal 🤫

all the witty comebacks you never say to people's faces because you're a sensible, non-confrontational person, but also you didn't think of it until later 🙃

the possibilities are endless, let your imagination run wild, and/or feel free to contact the blogger for more 🤭

🚫 when NOT to journal 🚫

this is just as, if not more, important as when to journal.

nothing to say — forget morning pages, i can barely string together a coherent greeting before lunch. also, a whole night's sleep is like a total memory wipe, so i have nothing to write about 🤷‍♀️ and don't listen to whoever says to just write "i have nothing to write about" because if you start enough entries with that, you're gonna begin to feel there's no point BUT THERE IS!! just not right now. and that's okay ☺️

too often — personally, i think it's important not to make journaling your one source of clarity 🔮 continue to think things through in your mind, confide in people you trust, and have moments (in nature, perhaps) that simply can't be transcribed to words 🌼

not feeling it — if you're too tired OR feel fulfilled and clear-headed enough about your day, don't make journaling a chore you have to do no matter what. if that means you don't journal everyday, then so be it 🌝

so when do you journal? in general, when doing so would add something to your day ☀️ whether that's peace, humor, gratitude, or something else.

🎁 materials 🎁

now for the fun part: let's go to the stationery store! 🛒

✒️ GET A PEN THAT WRITES SMOOTHLY! you are literally lowering the physical resistance that's keeping you from journaling, trust me it works. also pencils suck.

🔐 get a journal with a band, lock, clasp, button, etc. — just because it's fun, but it has the added benefit of securing your intellectual property(?)

have a separate journal for writing thoughts vs. schedules vs. todos vs. collections (TBR lists, recipes, etc.) — beats having to make and maintain a whole index to keep it all organized in just one (1) notebook 😵‍💫

🌸 stickers — are a pretty substitute for correction pens 😻 (in theory, but i have yet to use all the washi tape i bought 😅)

or just journal digitally, idgaf, do what works for you, okay? 😇

491 notes · View notes

nuka · 2 months

Text

Call me delulu, but I woke up with hope in my heart today.

It's only been 2 months since the show was cancelled. WBD is run by an incompetent fool. WBD previously said they'd sell Coyote vs. Acme, but then made it impossible for anyone to buy it. All streaming services are struggling financially at the moment.

Daddy Jenkins had to tell us we've reached the end of the road, because that's the reality right now. Either WBD made it impossible for anyone to buy the show, or the actual realistic price was just too high for other streamers at the moment even if they wanted to buy it. “Many complimentary meetings, conversations, etc” sounds like someone was interested.

DJ and everyone else who worked on the show need to be able to move on, so they can make a living from other projects. They’ve all been holding their breath just in case they can start filming after all. The fans need to move on in the sense that we can't expect a renewal "any day now", like we did for 2 months. We can still hope that we'll see season 3 one day, but now we can be realistic about the chances of it happening in the immediate future.

Everyone who worked on this show has loved it so dearly that I'm certain that if season 3 gets greenlit in the future, they'll all want to work on it again. As long as DJ is in, the others are too. The Revenge can be rebuilt. The time that has passed can be explained in the story, if it needs explaining at all. If some actors won't be able to return, we'll get new characters added to our family, and we'll embrace them just like we embraced all the new characters in season 2.

Depending on what the problem for the pick up was, things might change very quickly, or they might take a few years. Who knows, if we continue being loud, a streaming service that quickly passed on the show in January might take interest in it later. A streaming service that offered too little might make a better offer, and WBD might accept just to get rid of us (because we're back to calling Max out on this bullshit and it's not a good look for them). Or, once the industry recovers a bit, a streaming service might be willing to reconsider spending a big amount of money on this show. And if WBD set an impossible price for the show this time, they might shop it around for a more reasonable price once Zaslav is out (or even greenlight season 3 themselves, but that’s delulu level 200). Even if we don't get a season 3, we might still get a movie, or a comic book, or a script book, or a blu-ray release, or the Jenkins Cut. And honestly, if someone was to announce they've picked up the show in a year or two... that's not a long time at all.

Pirate Daddy said that our campaign was noticed across the industry. They hear and see our love for this show. They know we're here for the show if it's ever to return. They know this show has potential.

So let’s keep having fun in the fandom. Keep being loud about Our Flag Means Death. Keep using the hashtags. Keep making fanart. Keep shouting about how unfair this cancellation was. We don’t have to do it with the same intensity as during the campaign (I know we’re all tired and it’s completely okay to step away if you need/want to), but as long as we as a fandom are consistent, they’ll see there’s a demand that just won’t go away.

There is always hope. It’s not the same kind of hope we had before January 9th, and it’s not the kind we had until March 7th. But there are so many variables, and so little time has passed. Who knows what the industry will look like in a year or two. I’d rather believe in a future that might just hold a pleasant surprise for us than throw in the towel completely.

#ofmd #our flag means death #long live ofmd #save ofmd #adopt our crew #our flag bbc #renew as a crew

268 notes · View notes

pangurbanthewhite · 9 months

Text

Hey guess what it's time to talk more about Stray Gods.

Specifically about the concept of "reactive narrative" in video games and how I think Stray Gods executes it as gracefully as you can possibly execute on the concept.

I think a lot of people balk at how choice-based games do and can only change in a limited way based on your choices. Which is a shame, because only being able to change in limited ways is a hard rule of both hardware and the concept of a story.

I think the games that handle it best are the games that lean into that fact. They should flesh out those limited choices as much as possible rather than try to stretch them to their breaking point. They should accept the reality that there WILL be fixed points in the narrative and build around them.

Example - Pan will always turn up in your apartment early on in the game and lead you into the "tutorial" song that is "I Can Teach You". But, based on your choices, the song can sound entirely different.

youtube

And that's if you stick to one color exclusively over another. You can weave the choices in and out to create dozens of unique instances.

The choices you make do not fundamentally change anything beyond the song, excluding the last choice. But those choices set the tone for what kind of story you are going to tell. Is it a story of how Grace, even when granted the powers of a god, still values her humanity and cherishes her human bonds? Or is it a story of how Grace, who begins by feeling adrift and out of place, immediately chases down any chance she has at belonging somewhere, at having a purpose? Is Pan a mentor or a source of suspicion? How big of a part does Freddie play?

Your thought processes behind making a choice, your reasons for choosing red over blue, do make a story unique as much as your choice to let Aphrodite "live" or "die". I think you have to accept that if you really want to get a lot out of these kinds of games.

Some scenes WILL always happen, and that's okay! That's good, even! Because differences in the journey matter just as much as differences in the destination! You might always wind up in the same place, but you will have told a different story in getting there. You'll be in a different headspace, you'll bring different baggage, you'll have had some different conversations which drive you to feel differently about characters along the way.

Freddie does always die, yes, but if you've spent the entire game flirting with her, expressing affection and admiration for her, traveling to find her in the Underworld leans so heavily into the Orpheus and Eurydice parallels. Orpheus becomes a dark mirror of Grace as much as Persephone.

Do you retrieve a Freddie that you love from the Underworld because of that love, or do you retrieve a friend as much out of spite, as if to prove that you can succeed where Orpheus failed? Is godhood worth her friendship? Is godhood worth her love? Are you making a sacrifice at all, or are you glad to be rid of these powers that you never asked for? Freddie returns either way, but your motivations have changed the story.

I'm getting a bit lost in the weeds here, but hopefully people get what I'm going for. The fact that, ultimately, Grace is going to wind up on trial against Athena, with the primary differences being whether or not Freddie is there driving the song, or whether it's Aphrodite in one body standing there vs. another, doesn't invalidate the choices and the uniqueness of the journey to get there.

And I cannot stress enough that the potential variation in any given song is so impressive. I'm genuinely kind of bummed that there's no way to listen to some of the versions I made, that I feel like really added to the story I was trying to tell.

And, most importantly, I think Stray Gods understood that this kind of variances gets infinitely more complicated and precarious the longer a game goes. 6 to 8 hours is almost certainly your upper limit possible. Anything much beyond that, and the variations you have to account for spin out into something approaching infinity. And, yes, they do and can get much less meaningful as a result.

IDK! I like this game a lot. I think it did some really cool and inspired things in really cool and inspired ways. And I think its understanding of how to use player choice within the narrative and hardware constraints of a video game is one of those things.

#stray gods #Youtube

373 notes · View notes

why-animals-do-the-thing · 1 year

Note

hi there! love your work! i recently had a prof say that all zoos (USA) are bad (so we shouldn't support them) and sanctuaries are better because using animals for entertainment is morally wrong, most zoo profits dont go to conservation, and conservation efforts are bandaid solutions to capitalism destroying animal habitats, so the real solution is to return the land to indigenous stewards to manage/rewild. i didn't disagree with the last bit, but the argument as a whole felt a little off to me for a reason i couldnt put my finger on. am i off base here? just feeling really unsure about the whole thing.

You're not wrong! There's a mix of reality and personal opinions in those statements, and it's definitely something worth critically examining. A quick fact-check of what they said for you:

All US zoos are bad

There's a massive range of quality of zoological facilities within the US (and around the world). Some are stellar and some are not, and it's really just not accurate to lump them all under the same umbrella for almost any purpose. Unless, of course, your issue isn't with animal welfare, and it's philosophical, which is what it sound like in #2...

2. Using animals for entertainment is morally wrong.

This is one of my favorite things to talk about w/r/t how we exhibit animals. Entertainment has become equated with exploitation and implicit low welfare in the last couple decades, and so you get a lot of people saying using animals for entertainment is wrong. But those same folk will say that they enjoy seeing animals in other contexts, and they think that's okay. Where's the line between enjoying something and being entertained by it? What makes something one and not the other? Also, we know that people learn better from from situations which are enjoyable/entertaining - even just a fun teacher who jokes around vs a dry lecture - so how can that only be a problem when it's used to make viewing animals more impactful? I wrote a whole piece on this a while back (linked here) if you want to dig into this more. Some zoos (and accrediting groups) are shying away from "entertainment" type branding - shows are demos now, for instance - and others are leaning into "edutainment" that's done with good welfare and communicates actual education messaging. In short, this is a personal philosophical belief, and you're right to question if you agree. (Even if you decide you do think that too! It's always good to question why someone is arguing what they believe about animal use, and how they came to believe it).

3. Sanctuaries are better than zoos.

There's two reasons I think he's misinformed here. First, almost all exotic animal sanctuaries in the US are licensed exhibitors - just like zoos! I only know of a couple that don't exhibit to the public at all. It's an important part of their revenue stream, because gate take helps support paying for animal care. Also anything you see from a sanctuary on Youtube, Facebook, or TikTok? Also exhibition! They just message about it differently, and often have a different ethos about how they exhibit (e.g. tours to reduce stress instead of letting people wander, doing conservation or rescue messaging instead of just display). Second... look, most people assume that the word "sanctuary" means a facility is intrinsically more ethical than a zoo, and therefore they must be a good place. In reality, many sanctuaries get much less public and regulatory scrutiny (at the state level) than most zoos. There are good sanctuaries out there, but there are also sanctuaries where stuff goes on that would absolutely be unacceptable at zoos, and it slides because of the assumption that sanctuaries are inherently more moral and ethical and care for their animals better.

4. Most zoo profits don't go to conservation

This is correct! Direct conservation funding is often a small part of the money a zoo makes. However, that's because money goes to things like facility maintenance, new construction, paying salaries, etc. If zoos put all the money they made back into conservation programs, practically, they wouldn't have the funding to continue to operate. The question that I'd suggest asking instead is "where are they putting money into conservation" and "are they doing conservation work or just throwing money at something to display the logo of the program." Also, it's worth keeping in mind that a lot of what zoos do to support conservation isn't necessarily financial. Many facilities contribute "in-kind", by doing things like sending staff to assist with programs or teach specific skills, or by donating things like vehicles and equipment. Research zoos do also seriously contributes to in-situ programs, and breeding programs for re-introduction like the scimitar-horned oryx and the black-footed ferret are also conservation. Could many of the big urban facilities with huge budgets do more? Yes. But looking just at dollars spent on conservation programs is disingenuous and inaccurate.

5. Conservation efforts are band-aid solutions to capitalism destroying habitats / Returning the land to indigenous peoples to manage/rewild is the real solution to conservation issues

This is a little outside my scope so I'm going to only address the part that I know. First off, like, there's no One True Answer to conservation issues. That's reductionist and inaccurate. Conservation really is a human issue, though, and it often has to involve solving human problems that lead to negative results for animals. There's definitely an issue with what some people call "parachute conservation" where Westerners swoop in and try to tell people living in range countries how to best manage their animals and natural resources without recognizing their perspectives, needs, or what drives their behavior towards those animals. That's not just a zoo issue - that's an issue with a ton of traditional Western conservation work. And there is progress towards fixing it! In the zoo world, I've been very impressed with the work out of The Living Desert, where their conservation people spend a lot of time overseas teaching people in range countries to evaluate and improve their own conservation programs, so they can assess efficacy and also have data to apply for grants, etc. They provide support when asked, rather than trying to tell people who live with these animals regularly what to do. One of my favorite programs that TLD collaborates with (they don't try to run it!) is a group called the Black Mambas that reduces poaching by supporting entire communities to reduce the desperation for food/income, educating kids about animals, and running all-female patrols staffed by community members.

Overall, it sounds like your professor's view of zoos is really informed by their personal moral perspective, and possibly reinforced by a lot of the misinformation / misleading messaging that exists about the industry and about conservation work. They do have some specifics right, but not necessarily the context to inform why things are like that. It was a good catch to question the mix of information and approach it critically.

#zoo industry #zoo information #philosophy around zoos and what they do #conservation #zoo questions

1K notes · View notes

makethosenarratorsfight · 5 months

Text

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; THE FINAL FINAL

Shen Qingqiu Propaganda:

The entire series is told from his POV and the story seems like a comedy. The side stories from other characters POVs make the story sound like a tragedy. He thought that Luo Binghe hated him and wanted him dead while everyone else knew that Binghe was in love with him.

the whole book he’s using his OWN interpretation of the world to explain literally everything, not knowing that his introduction into the world changed it so fundamentally that his prior knowledge of it is less than useless. he’s like “binghe is being sweet to me because binghe is sweet to people that wronged him before repaying their slight a thousandfold, and he only adds their acceptance of his sweetness to his tally of their sins!! i have to run away forever or he’ll tear my arms and legs off!!!!!!” and binghe in reality is like “wow the love of my life my beloved shizun is scared of me still :( i should act sweet and nonthreatening so he’s not scared of me :(“ and he literally doesn’t have this corrected until the end of the book. but even when that one thing is corrected he still is like “haha okay but these other six things-“ bro……. cucumber bro………….. you homosexualized the world just accept it

He examines the entire reality he's isekai-ed into as if it's still fictional and his inner monologue ignores any "character trait" of the people around him that doesn't fit into his perception of "canon" despite everything he's done to change reality from the canon of the novel he first read. He routinely mislabels his own emotions as well as making heteronormative assumptions about himself and the people around him before he finally realises he's in reciprocated gay love with a man. It's a book that benefits being read twice, so the second time around you can focus on the implications Shen Qingqiu blatantly misses.

Transmigrates into a novel he “hates,” assumes he’s doing a good job pretending to be the character whose body he got stuck in, assumes other characters will stick to their original paths. Lotta assumptions, lots of rationalizing, lots of incredible feats of misunderstanding/misinterpreting things. His internal narration is also hysterical.

Lemony Snicket Propaganda:

(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure

While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.

#unreliable narrators #final final #polls #unreliable narrator battle #shen qingqiu #sqq #svsss #scum villain #scum villain self saving system #lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue books #asoue netflix

211 notes · View notes

milgram-tournament · 3 months

Text

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

---

the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

---

miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.

Propaganda for CAT:

"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.

You’ve got a lovely “jingle” (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.

The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.

The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.

The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.

And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.

As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."

---

-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*

-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk

-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.

-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.

-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.

---

FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!

THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.

THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.

Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.

#milgramtournament #milgram #mahiru shiina #shiina mahiru #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui

105 notes · View notes

lostinwoso · 1 year

Text

Thin Line (Alexia x Reader)

Request - ca. 10.3k words - Enemies to Lovers

The sound of the excited fans rings around the stadium and through the tunnel, in which both teams are currently starting to line up to walk out in a few minutes. The atmosphere is clearly good, but this comes to no surprise as it’s the UWCL semi-final with the match-up being Barcelona vs Wolfsburg.

After walking to your position in the line, you take a glance around the tunnel, when your eyes catch the ones of the Barcelona captain, who currently is on her own way to the front to lead her time out in a bit. As soon as Alexia notices that it’s you, she sends you a glare, which you return instantly before breaking eye contact as she walks past you.

The dislike towards one another started at the close semi-final match in the 2019/20 UWCL season. The close game back then had both teams on edge, so after giving a “light” shove to the Spaniard, to stop a counter-attack from Barcelona, you two got into a small argument with rather not so friendly words being exchanged. The fire was fueled even more after you managed to kick the ball into the net as the defense couldn’t get it out in time, securing Wolfsburg the win.

Plus, you might have run past the midfielder during your celebration on purpose and sent her a provocative smile as you walked back to your position to continue the game, wanting to annoy her as much as possible after the incident that occurred earlier in the game. And as it was time to shake hands after the game, you might even decided to put some more salt into the wound with a comment about how unfortunate it is that they couldn’t achieve more in this game.

So safe to say that the reaction from the Spanish midfielder comes to absolutely no surprise to you. You just hope that Wolfsburg can beat Barcelona once again, as you definitely don’t want to be the one to have to face any possible teasing this time.

Even though you know that you would kind of deserve it.

A tap on your shoulder breaks you out of your thoughts, turning around, you are faced with your teammate Lynn, “Are you planning on moving soon or should we just stay here?”, she teases you while pointing over your shoulder.

Confused, you turn back around, only to notice that the teams already started to walk out into the stadium. You quickly jog up to the line, trying your best to ignore the snickers of the left back behind you.

The moment you step outside into the almost completely full Camp Nou will for sure be forever engraved inside your head. It almost feels more like a dream than reality. The fact that so many people came to watch a women's game is an unbelievable feeling for you.

When it was time to shake hands with the referee and the Barcelona girls, Alexia made sure to once more send you a rather sharp look, which only fueled your need to win this game even more.

But already early on this plan seems not to go the way you would like, thanks to two early goals at the 3rd minute by Aitana which was only 7 minutes later followed by a goal from your ex-teammate Hansen.

Barcelona clearly owned the game, barely giving you and your teammates any chances of even getting close to their goal before they would get the ball back into their own possession. All you could do was try to close off as much space as you could, which also didn’t work as well, and before you knew it the half-time whistle blew with a score of 4-0 for Barcelona.

What annoyed you the most is that Alexia managed to score one of those goals.

The smirk and raised eyebrow she sent you as she walked back to her position after her goal made you angry and upset, this game was nowhere near how you wanted it to go, and you hate it.

To your luck, the second half starts much better.

Barcelona was still the more dominant team, but your team now managed to hold it much better together in your own half, thanks to a much-needed adjustment in the defense.

In the 69th minute, you manage to regain the ball back into your possession thanks to a miscommunication between Alexia and Jenni. You immediately start running up the field before you end up passing the ball to your teammate Jill, who sends the ball in the goal. The joy is short-lived though, as the referee blows the whistle when the sideline assistant holds up the offside flag.

You were ready to cry in frustration at this point, of course the one goal you manage to get in gets flagged off.

After quite a long VAR check, the goal gets allowed, the automatic line showing that Jill was just slightly onside after all. But even then there was no time to celebrate, not when Barcelona is still in a comfortable three goal lead.

Which would turn into a four goals lead just 15 minutes later after Barcelona gets a penalty from Dom fouling Alexia inside the box. And of course, Alexia herself steps up to take the penalty to obviously put the ball into the back of the net effortlessly.

That would also be the last goal of the night as not long after the referee blows the whistle signaling that the game is over. And if you are honest, you are quite happy that the nightmare is finally over. All you want to do now is leave the game behind you and focus on the second leg, which would hopefully go much better for you and your team.

Even though you want nothing more than to get off this field already, you make your ways around to say some encouraging words to your teammates as well as shaking hands with the Barcelona players, purposely trying to avoid Alexia.

But to your luck, you do end up encountering the Spanish woman, even almost walking directly into her as your attention swayed over to where the Barcelona fans were celebrating the win for a moment.

When your attention turns to the Barcelona captain in front of you, you immediately notice the smug smile on her face. Deciding that you don’t want to deal with whatever she is going to say, you try to maneuver around her, not caring if the cameras might catch the failed encounter.

Alexia doesn’t seem to like your plan of escaping and ignoring her in the process, so as you try to move past her, she takes a hold of your upper arm to stop you from walking past her, “What, no handshake for me?”.

You try to keep your face as neutral as possible at her question, but the annoyed look she receives from you once you look at her lets her know exactly how you feel, making her smirk grow even bigger in satisfaction of getting to you.

Not wanting to cause a scene or have an argument interrupt between the two of you, you swallow the words you would like to say to her and instead force a smile on your face, which might look more like a pained grimace than an actual smile and free your arm out of her grasp to hold your hand out for the requested handshake.

The Spaniard raises her eyebrow at your silence as a challenge, before accepting your outstretched hand, repeating the very same words to you that you said to her just two years prior, “How unfortunate that you couldn't achieve more in this game, no?”.

It’s obvious that Alexia wants to get back at you by repeating your own words to you after the tough loss. And with your mood already at its deepest point it could be at right now, she certainly achieved her goal.

“Yea, really unfortunate.”, you scoff, retrieving your hand from the handshake, adding, “Just wait for the second game, you won’t have a chance.”.

As soon as you said the last word, you turned around and hurried into the tunnel, leaving Alexia behind you. The midfielder looks at you until you disappear out of her sight, the satisfied smile not leaving her face once.

___

The loss clearly bothered you a lot, of course all your teammates weren’t proud of the performance in the first game, but it was obvious that it hit you the hardest. So, the next few days, leading up to the second game, you spend doing almost the same things every day. Eating, training, analyzing the loss plus Barcelona’s play style in general and sleeping. Being prepared for the game was your number one priority.

You can’t give Alexia the satisfaction of winning against you back to back.

The team seems to feel the same way, not for the same reason as you but losing the second game at home was certainly not an option.

So here you are, just 8 days after the grueling game in Barcelona, ready to walk out of the tunnel onto the pitch of the Volkswagen Arena. To keep your concentration sorely on the game ahead, you make sure not to look around the tunnel to potentially catch the eyes of the person you so desperately want to see lose tonight.

Once it is time to walk out and the UWCL Hymne starts to play, you take a moment to look around the stadium, of course the attendance isn’t as big as it was in Barcelona but having around 22,000 people here to support you feels you with confidence, pride and the need to give your fans a good game and victory at the end.

As it was time to shake hands with the Barcelona players, you still made sure to not meet the eyes of Alexia. And if the captain was honest to herself, your complete disregard of her presence infuriates her for some reason. But it also fuels her even more to beat you once again.

Both Teams realize early on though that this game isn’t like the last one. Yes, Barcelona still holds more possession, but your team is awake and way more safe in the defense and able to create chances up front. So unlike the half-time score of 4-0 in the last game, it’s now 0-0, meaning everything can happen.

But this changes rather quick, just two minutes after the beginning of the second half, Wolfsburg gains a free kick which results into a mess in the defense to get the ball out so as soon as the ball lands in front of your feet you fire it towards the goal, most Barcelona players too distracted complaining about a possible foul or handball.

You get swarmed immediately by your teammates, while some Barcelona players run up to the referee. And as soon as the goal check was officially over and your goal counts, which you could see irritated Alexia a lot, you can feel some weight fall off your shoulder.

“Immer weiter!”, you yell out while clapping, wanting to keep the momentum up. (Keep going)

Which seems to work out great as just around 12 minutes later in the 59th minute when Jill successfully wins the ball into her possession to score another goal.

Unfortunately though this would be the last goal of the night, meaning Barcelona will advance into the final while you would just have to try again next year. But even though you and your team didn’t manage to advance, you still felt somewhat good. After all, you did manage to put an end to the winning streak of Barcelona and proved that Wolfsburg is still one of the best teams Europe has with that one win.

Just like every other game, you make your way around the field to handshake your teammates and opponents. Ironically though, this time Alexia is the one who seems rather hesitant to encounter you, but knowing with the huge spotlight she has on her that the cameras would notice if she wouldn’t go up to you, she makes her way over.

You stand with your back towards her, talking to Jill about her goal, when you feel someone poking your shoulder. Turning around, you are faced with Alexia, who offers no words but simply holds out her hand for you to shake, which you accept.

Alexia is confused by your silence, why haven’t you made fun of her losing, once again, to you?

“Just say it.”, she huffs out once the handshake is over.

“Say what?”, you say with a teasing smile, kind of enjoying her visible annoyance at your silence.

The Spaniard rolls her eyes at your teasing, “You know the whole how unfortunate you couldn’t achieve more.”.

“And for what? You are still the one going to Juventus.”, you reply with a shrug of your shoulders.

Alexia is confused, yeah you are right, but that's it? Not a single bad word from you about the performance tonight? Her thoughts are interrupted when Aitana calls out for her to come over to say thanks to the few fans that traveled to support their team tonight.

“Well, good game then?”, she offers, still confused by your behavior.

“Good game.”, you agree but once she starts to walk over to her team you can’t help yourself and yell out after her, “And good luck for the final, maybe you have a chance there to actually achieve some more, you know, something like a win maybe?.”.

The woman turns around at your words to send you a glare, almost feeling foolish for believing you wouldn’t say something like that after your words at the end of the last game. You in return send her a smile and thumbs up back, to which you can see her jaw clench in annoyance, before she turns around as Aitana calls out for her once again.

Slowly making your way over to your own team to take a walk around the stadium, you let out a laugh at her reaction, satisfied with getting to her once more.

___

21 days later, you find yourself with some of your Wolfsburg teammates in Juventus to watch the UWCL final. With Wolfsburg having only the DFB-Pokal final left in a few days, you decided to spend some time together before all your ways would part after the game, everyone going on different vacations before the euros would start.

You don’t know which team you would like to win more, instead hoping more for an exciting game of football from two amazing teams.

But you early on get flashbacks from your own final against Lyon back in the UWCL 19/20 season. Lyon managing to score three times in a span of 33 minutes certainly wasn’t on your bingo card. And even though Alexia managed to score one goal before the half-time whistle blows, you can’t help but feel like that this game is already decided.

That feeling would turn out to be true another 45 minutes later, as neither of the two teams scored any more goals, crowning Lyon once again the winner of the Women Champions League. Seeing the Barcelona players so sad makes you remember your own final once more, knowing exactly how painful it is to lose such an important game. As your eyes find Alexia lying on the floor crying, you slightly start to feel guilty. It was obvious under how much pressure the Spaniard was with all the sudden attention on her, and knowing that your words weren’t necessarily positive input on the immense amount of pressure she already felt makes you feel bad.

After the stadium calmed down a little and the ceremony was over, you all met up with Jill’s teammate Dan real quick to gratulate her and the team on the win before it was time to head back to the hotel, needing to get some sleep before the early flight the next day to get back to Wolfsburg, your own final not long away as well.

___

Just two months later, you are sitting in the Old Trafford Stadium, waiting for the opening game of the Euros 22 England - Austria to start. Unfortunately for you, you got yourself a small injury in the DFB-Pokal game against Potsdam from which you didn’t manage to fully recover before the Euros started, meaning you would have to sit out the tournament this year. But not wanting to sit back home in Wolfsburg the entire time, you decided to fly out to England anyway to watch as many games as you could.

Yesterday, the news came out that Alexia tore her ACL, ending her tournament before she even had the chance to start. You saw a lot of footballers sending her encouraging words and thought about doing it too, but the history between you two made you decide against it, since you were probably the last person she would want to hear from.

As the Euros went on, you went to whatever games were closest to you, with some exceptions where you would travel a bit further to watch the games of your Wolfsburg teammates to support them. It was during the Germany - Austria game where you first heard about the rumors about Barcelona looking to sign two new players, now that Alexia would be out for a few months, from a trusting social media source.

And with that, just two days later you receive a message from your Agent, informing you that you are one of the players Barcelona is interested in signing this summer and that Wolfsburg would be willing to let you go for the amount of money they offer for you. When you read that message you didn’t reply immediately, actually you didn’t reply at all, so the next day your Agent called you to talk about the offer. It’s not that you are not tempted to play for Barcelona, they are a powerful team and that they want you to join them fills you with pride, but the hate between you and Alexia fills you with doubt.

First you destroy her win streak, and you are once again snarky towards her, and then she gets injured, and you are one of the players that is supposed to help to fill the hole her injury left in the squad. You are aware that you couldn’t completely replace her and that’s not what you want anyway, just because there are some differences between the two of you, you can’t deny that she is the best in the world in her position. But the whole thing about you going to Barcelona to play instead of her could leave a bad impression on the woman.

You and your Agent agreed to her, telling Barcelona that you would still need some time to think about the offer. After all, it’s not just the situation between you and the Barça captain that bothers you but also the thought of leaving Wolfsburg. The team has become your family almost immediately after you joined them back in 2017, so saying goodbye to them would be everything but easy for you. A few hours later, your Agent lets you know that the team wants your answer by the end of the month, meaning that you only have exactly one week left to make your decision.

The next day you met up with Popp, wanting to get her advice on the situation, as she was one of the players you were always closest to in the Wolfsburg squad. She made it obvious that you leaving would be sad for everyone, but she understands the feeling of wanting a new challenge and that you should just follow your heart.

You thought the talk would help you to fully decide on whether you should accept it and start a new chapter or let everything stay the way it was, but that was easier said than done. So now on the deadline day for you to make a decision, you are sitting in the location where Germany celebrates their second place but while most of them are talking and dancing you are simply staring at the call button of your agent.

“Mach es.”, a voice next to you speaks up. (Do it)

Turning to the voice you are met with Huth, one of your Wolfsburg captains, “Ich weiß nicht.”, you reply, still not sure if you really want to go. (I don't know)

“Es ist okay etwas Neues auszuprobieren und ich glaube du wirst dich in Spanien gut einfinden können.”, she assures you. (It's okay to try something new and I'm sure you will fit in)

You don’t reply immediately, taking a moment to think about her words but also about the talk between you and Alex a week prior, “Okay.”, you breathe out.

Sveni sends you an encouraging smile before taking her leave to let you call your agent, who picks up rather quickly, clearly having waited on hearing from you, “I’ll do it.”.

___

After Barcelona received the ‘yes’ from you, everything happened rather quickly. The club helped you find an apartment and announced your signing almost immediately once all the paperwork between Wolfsburg and Barcelona was done. Quite a few of the Barcelona women reached out to you to congratulate you on the signing and how excited they are to play with you instead of against you now for the unseeable future. Especially your Ex-Wolfsburg teammates Ingrid, Rolfö and Caro were excited about your arrival to the Spanish club.

Alexia wasn’t one of them but you didn’t expect her to reach out to you, after all she just got one of the hardest injuries she could have gotten which she has to focus on coming back from and dealing emotionally with.

Since you were still coming back from your own injury, you first would join the team in training a few days before the first game of the season, meaning that you didn’t play in any of the club friendlies prior. For most of the training session you stuck close to your ex teammates from Wolfsburg, still a bit overwhelmed by the change after having played in Germany for the past 5 years.

Especially the change of weather hit you hard, yes Germany can also get quite warm during the summer nowadays too, but the Spanish heat certainly hits differently, so safe to say you were grateful when once again a small drink break was announced. You were chatting with Keira for a moment about the weather, the Brit also not having gotten really used to it by now, before Lucy pulled her away to get more to drink.

You are in the middle of chugging down a whole water bottle when a voice behind you speaks up, “You are doing great.”.

Putting your bottle down, you turn around and are met with Aitana, “Thank you.”, you reply with a small smile.

The small midfielder returns the smile, “You know, we were all quite excited to hear that you would join us.”.

You raise your eyebrow at her words, “Really?”.

Aitana nods her head in confirmation, “Yes, you were always one of the most unpleasant people to play against, so having you on our side now will help us a lot.”.

A chuckle leaves your lip at her words to describe you, “Well, I hope I can help.”.

“I’m sure you will, but now let’s get back to training, the break is over.”.

You can’t stop the groan from leaving your lips, quickly trying to get some more sips from your bottle before you would have to start running under the Spanish sun again.

Aitana simply laughs at your reaction, “Come on, you will get used to the weather soon.”.

“Mhm, sure.”, you mumble before joining her to walk back to the squad.

___

Your first appearance for the Catalonian club would still have to wait as the first game day has to be rescheduled due to the Referees going on a strike. But the week later it was finally time against UDG Tenerife in the Estadi Johan Cruyff. You were super excited about the game, you might not be in the starting XI, but you got informed that you will be subbed on at some point, which would officially start your new chapter with this club.

You even got on earlier than expected due to Patri having to get subbed off after receiving a head injury in the 11th minute. Surprisingly for you, you managed to fit in immediately, almost no sign of you just having transferred to the club as Keira, Vicky and you are doing a great job in the midfield. Even managing to score the first of the two goals of the game in the second half, so safe to say that your start almost couldn’t have been better than this.

After the game is also the first time you somewhat encounter Alexia since the semi-final game back in Wolfsburg again and this time not as her opponent but her teammate. The team is celebrating the win in the locker room, clearly excited about the great start into the season, when Alexia comes in, still on her crutches. While almost all of your new teammates go to greet the injured midfielder, you stay behind, unsure on how to approach the woman. You do meet her eyes for a moment, but the way she immediately divides her look to somewhere else in the room, lets you know that maybe it is not the right time yet to talk to her anyway.

But the first time you would actually talk to her follows up just two days later as you make your way to training and see Alexia struggling to open the door to get inside, making you quicken your step to jog up to the door to help her open it, “Here, let me help.”.

“Gracias.”, she mumbles, glancing at you before slowly making her way through the door with her crutches.

There is an awkward silence between you as you both walk down the same hallway, so you decide to speak up, “I’m sorry about your injury, but I'm sure you will come back even stronger.”, you try to encourage her.

The midfielder stops walking and turns to you, “Are you now?”, she asks, and you notice the upset tone in her voice.

“Of course, no one deserves an injury like that and-”, you start off but get interrupted by Alexia letting out an upset laugh, “You really think I’m going to believe a single word you are saying?”.

“I mean why would I-”, you try to defend yourself, but Alexia once again puts a stop to your words, “Why would you? I don’t know, maybe because you made fun of me every time I lost against you, then you celebrated with the Lyon players after the final, and now you come here to take my spot once I'm injured?”, she says, now clearly upset and distraught.

You take a step back from the woman, “I wasn’t, I’m not…”, you stutter out wanting to defend yourself, but the midfielder was still having none of it, “Just save it okay? I don’t want any of your alleged pity and-.”.

“Alexia!”, a voice a few doors down the corridor speaks up, interrupting the Spaniard in front of you this time.

As you both turn to the voice, you notice Irene standing there, she must have heard the upset and angry woman in front of you from the locker room, meaning that she probably also isn’t the only person that heard what just went down between the two of you.

Alexia mumbles some words in Spanish to herself before taking her leave, leaving you and Irene standing alone in the hallway.

You know that the situation between you and Alexia was tense but her accusing you of thinking that you are not sorry about her injury stings. Yeah, your words towards her certainly weren’t nice but wishing people an injury is something you would never do.

“Come on, let’s get changed.”, Irene’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts, walking towards her, you notice the team at the end of the hallway, already walking out to start training soon.

“Just give her some time.”, the defender says as she waits for you to get changed.

“I don’t know, maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea.”, you say with a sigh, clearly overthinking the decision to sign for the club.

Irene makes her way over to sit down next to you, “It was a good idea, you are a great player and a great addition to the club, Alexia still has some difficulties adjusting to the situation with her injury. Your signing may also put some impact on that, but I’m sure you two can get through that at some point.”, she reassures you.

“Alright, if you say so.”.

“I am, now let’s go out before we have to run extra laps around the field.”, she says, pulling you up from your seat to get you out where all the girls were already warming up.

___

The next few weeks you kept your distance from the injured woman, not wanting to risk another argument and of course to give her some time to deal with her own emotions with you now being at the club. But you knew that sooner or later you two would have to talk it out if the team climate wants to stay positive, so you decided to apologize to her the next time you would have the opportunity away from all the other girls.

Alexia was also aware that the situation between the two of you would have to get better at some point, which was made more clear during a conversation she had with Irene.

“You should give her a chance.”, Irene says to Alexia, who is looking out to the pitch where you and the other midfielders decided to do some extra training, wanting to make sure that Real Madrid will have the most difficult time to get past you all.

All Alexia offers is a distracted hum at the defender's words.

“I’m serious Alexia, I don’t know what went down between the two of you in detail, but she is our teammate now. And I’m not asking you two to become best friends, but to simply get along good enough to keep a healthy team climate.”.

Alexia lets out a sigh and turns away from the window and instead turns to face Irene, who is watching her intensely, “I know, I’m going to work on it, I promise.”.

Satisfied with the answer, Irene takes her leave to go out to where you and the others were still training to put a stop to it before you all would be too tired to actually play the game in two days.

Agreeing with her, you all make your way to the shower and get changed. Once you are done, you are ready to go home and eat some food but as you make your way down the hallway you are once more met with Alexia struggling to open the door, making you stop in your tracks. You are unsure on what to do, should you just wait for her to figure it out herself or help her but risk another rather unpleasant conversation?

You decide to go with the latter, maybe this would be a good opportunity for you to apologize to her in hopes to make things somewhat better between you two.

So with a deep breath you make your way towards her, “Here.”, you say while opening the door for her once again.

“Gracias.”, she says while walking through the door, you following close behind her.

“Do you uh, have a moment maybe?”, you ask her before she could get away towards where she would be driven home.

With the words of Irene still present in her mind, Alexia turns around to face you, nodding softly.

“Alright, so, I would like to apologize for how things went between us.”, you start off, “The way I behaved the times we played against each other wasn’t okay, but the emotions of the games always got the better of me and yeah.”, you stop to check the reaction of the woman in front of you but when you notice no sign of any emotions on her face you start to ramble “And I didn’t accept the offer to steal your spot or anything, I just saw it as a great way to start a new chapter and I truly do feel bad about your injury, there is no denying that you are one of the best players in the world and having you sit out sucks a lot.”.

Noticing that Alexia is still silent, you are about to jump head first into the second round of apologizing, but her speaking up puts a stop to that, “Okay.”.

“Okay?”, you ask her confused, when she doesn’t add any other words.

“I accept your apology, if you accept mine. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that a few weeks ago.”, she offers.

“Oh no, no, you had every right. I know how weird it must have been when you heard I would join, that's also the reason why I hesitated for so long.”, you explain to her, but the single raise of her eyebrow lets you know that it’s not the answer she was looking for, so you quickly agree, “Okay, deal.”, adding, “So a fresh start now?”.

Alexia nods her head in agreement, “Si, fresh start.”.

You can’t stop the smile from forming on your face, “Great, so uhm I’m Y/N.”, you reintroduce yourself to her, holding your hand out for her to shake, wanting to make everything the proper way this time.

The woman in front of you looks at your outstretched hand before her eyes scan her own hands, which are occupied holding her crutches, so she can stand properly, following her eyes you quickly realize the issue, “Oh right.”, you start off, moving to put your hand down again when Alexia starts to shuffle her crutches into one of her hands, so she could accept yours, “Alexia.”.

“Nice to meet you.”, you say, starting to feel embarrassed after though once you realize that you might overdo the whole fresh start thing.

“Nice to meet you too.”, Alexia confirms when she realizes your slight embarrassment.

Sending her another smile, you notice a woman stepping out of the car from the corner of your eye, realizing that it’s Alexia’s sister Alba, you decide that it’s time to go home now.

You nod in the direction of her sister, “Alright, I let you leave now then.”.

Alexia looks towards where you were motioning to, agrees, “Si, good luck on Sunday.”.

“Gracias.”, you thank her before making your way to your own car to get home, happy for finally defusing the tense situation between you.

___

At first interactions between you were still awkward, like when Alexia complimented you on your performance in the last match against Madrid CFF, where you scored a goal and assisted one, you didn’t really know what to say. So you simply thanked her, which turned to you both smiling at each other rather awkwardly before she had to go.

But it got better as time went on, you two were now able to hold conversations without the awkward aura, sure you still weren’t close, but it’s far better from what you expected how things would go between you both from when you first joined the club.

One morning as you walk up to the stadium for training, you notice Alexia in the corner of your eye, but what surprises you the most is that the woman is walking without any crutches for support.

“Wow, am I dreaming or are you really walking by yourself?”, you speak up once she is in hearing range.

Alexia laughs at your reaction, “No, no, I really am walking by myself.”.

“That’s amazing, I’m happy for you.”, you tell her, truly happy to see the woman slowly coming back.

“Thank you.”, the Spanish woman says, smiling at you, as you hold the door open for her to go inside, “Excited about the first Champions League game of the season?”, she asks you as you two make your way through the training center.

“Of course, I’m ready to show everyone that we are one of the best teams in the world.”.

“That's what I like to hear.”, Alexia chuckles, changing to another topic before you two would have to split up, you to get ready for training and Alexia to get to the physio.

Two days later, you were in the starting XI for the first group game of the UWCL season. You had to admit that it felt kinda weird hearing the hymn play knowing you are about to play in the tournament for Barcelona instead for Wolfsburg, which you had done the last 5 years, but you were ready to give it your all and make the best from being on as starter.

And that’s clearly what you did, with scoring 2 goals yourself and assisting another 2 goals for your teammates, leaving Benfica absolutely no chance as the game ends in a clean 9-0 for Barcelona.

After thanking the fans for the support and celebrating the win with them, the celebration moved into the locker room, everyone obviously happy about the result from the first group game. But after another hour of talking and dancing, you find yourself growing tired, the 90 minutes of playing slowly catching up to you.

As you start to pack your things up and get ready to leave, you see Alexia sitting in the corner of the room, also looking slightly exhausted. Knowing that you two don’t live that far from each other, you decide to walk over to her to offer a ride home.

“You good?”, you ask her, standing in front of her.

Alexia raises her head as she hears your voice, slightly confused by your question, “Si, ¿Por qué?”. (why?)

“You look tired and haven’t really talked to anyone in the past 20 minutes.”, you state with a shrug of your shoulders.

“I guess that's because I am tired.”.

You let out a hum at her words, “Want a ride home then? I was going to leave now.”.

Alexia thinks about your offer for a moment before replying, “If you don’t mind?”.

“If I would, I wouldn't have offered, now let's go.”, Alexia rolls her eyes playfully at your words before saying goodbye to everyone, you doing the same.

As you two make your way towards your car, you hold open every door for the Spanish midfielder on the way, “You do know that I’m capable of opening doors just fine, now that my hands are free again, yes?”.

“I do know yes, but thanks for reminding me, but you know, I was kind of hoping for a thank you.”, you reply, waiting for her to get seated in your car, so you could close the door.

Alexia once again rolls her eyes at your words, but can’t stop the smile from forming on her face, “Thank you.”.

“No problem.”, closing the door, you make your way over to the driver's seat, ready to finally make your way home and get to bed.

You leave the parking lot in comfortable silence, that's it until Alexia speaks up, “You played really well tonight.”.

“Thank you.”.

“I’m glad you joined us, you are a great player and not as much of an ass as I previously thought you are.”, she admits jokingly, but you know that there is definitely some truth in those words, making you chuckle lightly.

“It wasn’t an easy decision to be honest.”, you admit, glancing over to her for a second before focussing back on the road.

“Oh really? I thought you would have jumped on immediately at the chance of stealing my spot.”, she jokes, making you actually full on laugh this time. Alexia waits for your laugh to fade out to ask, “What made the decision so difficult?”.

“Honestly? The whole drama between us played a huge role but also leaving Wolfsburg after 5 years sounded very scary.”, you confess to her, “I was scared to come here because I knew that with our history it would seem like I would come here to simply use your injury to my advantage to get to you in another bad way, you know. And the day you blew up on me in the hallway, where you had every right to question my motives, made me doubt that move even more, but the happier I am now that we can actually talk to one another now, without all the snarky and provocative comments.”. Alexia is surprised by how much the ‘hatred’ between you and her injury seemed to play a role in your decision, “I’m also glad that we managed to get over that, but I didn’t think that my injury would really play a big factor for you.”.

“Like you said, I’m not that bad of a person as I might have seemed like from the few interactions between us.”, you echoed, coming to a halt in front of the apartment building where the Spanish woman lives, “Here we are.”.

“Thank you for driving me.”, Alexia thanks you but makes no move to get out of your car yet.

“No problem.”.

The midfielder still makes no move to get out of your car, “Are you waiting for me to open the door for you or what?”, you joke, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“No.”, she chuckles, “But you think you could pick me up tomorrow on your way to training?”.

“Of course I can.”, you send her a reassuring smile.

Alexia nods, “See you tomorrow then?”.

“Yup, I'll text you when I’ll be here.”.

“Alright, goodnight then.”, she replies, standing now outside your car.

“Goodnight Alexia.”, and with another smile, Alexia closes the door and makes her way into the building, with you waiting until she is safely inside before you drive off to get home yourself.

It soon became a regular thing. You would pick her up in the morning when you had to go to training, and she was slowly working on her comeback, and at the end of each of your sessions you would drive off together. The car rides are always filled with interesting conversations and laughter, something you wouldn’t have dreamed of before your move to Barcelona.

What you also didn’t expect was how well all the games would be going so far, winning the El Clásico against Real Madrid, winning the first game against the toughest opponent in your UWCL group, Bayern. Safe to say, you are beyond happy with the team performance and the minutes you were getting on the field.

But every streak has come to an end sooner or later, which you learn during the away game against Bayern München in the Allianz Arena, Barcelona having to accept the 3-1 defeat. You were upset, you played so many games against them during your year in Wolfsburg that you feel like you should have been better at preparing your team for what was about to come. Besides the fact that you absolutely hate losing against them, they were your direct rival for years, after all.

“It’s not your fault, you know?”, Mapi speaks up, guessing that this is the reason as to why you’re so silent.

You sigh at her words, “I don’t know, I feel like I could have done more for us to be prepared.”.

“You did it great for the first game, it was obvious they are gonna do some changes now.”, she shrugs.

“I guess.”, you agree, not really convinced yet, but you don’t want Mapi to sit here and try to console you while she obviously herself is upset about losing tonight's game.

Alexia could immediately tell that you were still upset about the defeat two days ago, the usual lively car ride now completely silent, no conversation, no laughter, the only sound to be heard is the car engine and Rosalía’s voice from the radio, which you would put on every time since you learned about the liking towards her music from the woman next to you.

“Meet you at your car after training?”, she asks you once it was time to part ways.

“Yup.”, you confirm before disappearing in the locker room.

A few hours later, Alexia was about to make her way to your car, when she notices someone still being outside on the field, all alone kicking the ball around made up obstacles. Upon noticing that it’s you, she makes her way outside, sitting down in one of the seats outside, deciding to give you some more time.

You are so focused on your own little training that you don’t notice the woman until almost half an hour past already. “Shit.”, you curse to yourself at forgetting that you were supposed to drive her home already, so you quickly pack everything up and make your way over to her, “I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried away but let me shower real quick, and then I take you home.”.

Alexia sends you a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry about it, take your time.”.

Despite her words, you do worry and have probably taken the quickest shower you could have before meeting her at your car.

The drive starts off the same as in the morning, that’s until Alexia decides that she has enough of the silence, “Are you hungry?”.

“Uhh, why?”, you question her, glancing at her for a moment.

“You weren’t in the cafeteria during lunchtime.”, she points out.

An embarrassed blush flushes your face, “I might have skipped it to train a bit more?”, you say sheepishly.

A small frown forms on Alexia’s face, the Champions League defeat might have hit you a little harder than she thought at first, “I know a small café not far from where I live, we could grab some food there? Unless you already found a different spot you would prefer.”, she offers.

If you were honest you would love to just go home and have some silence, but the empty feeling in your stomach seems to decide this one for you, “Sure and I honestly haven’t seen much of Barcelona yet to know any good places.”.

So a few minutes later you two were sitting in the café she suggested, enjoying some light food with the usual conversation taking place, the former silence now long gone. You were almost dreading it when it got to the point of you two paying and making your way outside, spending time with the injured midfielder definitely helped to take your mind off everything.

“Thank you for showing me this place.”, you thank her as you were about to make your way over to walk her home.

“We are not done yet.”.

You tilt your head in confusion at her words.

“You said you haven’t seen much yet, so we are going for a little tour around the area.”, she says, already walking some steps in the opposite direction from where you parked your car, waiting for you to come over to join her.

Alexia showed you all the nice places around the area, giving you as much information about everything as she could, that was until her knee started to feel a bit uncomfortable, so you decided to make your way back to her place.

“You know, you could easily become a tourist guide later.”, you joke as you arrive in front of the building, making the woman in front of you laugh.

“Oh yea, for sure, maybe you could become my assistant then.”, she plays along.

“I think for that, I would have to see a little bit more.”.

“You will, I’m going to show you every single little place this city has to offer.”.

“Can’t wait for that.”, you reply, a genuine smile on your face, besides playing football, the time you spent with the spanish woman was definitely one of your favorite things to do. Alexia feels the same, every time she was around you her mind stopped thinking about her injury. Of course the Ballon d’Or winner already accepted her injury but sometimes there were moments where the insecurities came over but being with you for some reason always manages to put even those to rest.

And with that a new regular was formed between the two of you, whenever you both were free after work and rehab, you would go grab some lunch and afterwards Alexia showed you around the city for as long as she could, making sure you would see all the places tourists often like to oversee.

During all those moments, you two started to grow a slight crush on one another, not that the other would know, but the lingering stares when the other wouldn’t notice started to become obvious to some of your teammates.

“You think they have something going on?”, Mapi asks her girlfriend with a slight smirk on her face.

“Who?”, Ingrid questions the defender, confused on who she was referring to.

“Alexia and Y/N!”, she points out if it was the most obvious thing.

Ingrid takes a moment to think about her girlfriend's words, she did notice about you two having grown a little bit closer to one another, and she did catch Alexia staring at you maybe once or twice when she was watching the training.

“Maybe.”, she shrugs, she did think that there could be something sooner or later but she knows how noisy Mapi would get once her suspicions would be confirmed.

“¿Quizás?”. the defender asks, “There is one hundred percent something!”. (maybe?)

“Like I said, maybe.”, Ingrid repeats, Mapi simply lets out a huff before walking away to her fellow defenders, deciding that it seems like that she has no choice but to question Alexia about it herself.

And that’s what she does a few weeks later at the small christmas party after the champions league group game against FC Rosengård, where the team decided to spend the evening together before everyone would leave for christmas and new years eve.

“You are staring.”, Mapi approaches her best friend with a big grin on her face.

“I’m looking around the room.”, is all Alexia says, only spending her friend a small glance.

Mapi her smile only grows, “The room is a bit bigger than just Y/N though.”

Alexia lets out a sigh, she knows María long enough now to know that the defender won’t stop bugging her until she receives the answers she wants to have, “What do you want?”.

“Is there something going on between you two?”, the defender wastes no time to get to the point.

“No.”.

“Do you want to?”.

Silence.

“Aha!.”, Mapi says slighter louder than intended, making people turn their heads towards them, “Lo siento.”, she mutters, waiting for them to get back to their own things, “I knew it! You should ask her out, like right now!.”.

The midfielder rolls her eyes at her friend's antics, “No.”.

“¿Por qué no?”. (why not)

“Because I don’t want to embarrass myself when she doesn’t feel the same and did you forget about the whole thing where we hated each other?”, Alexia points out with a sigh, not really in the mood to talk about her feelings.

“But she does feel the same! And haven’t you heard of the quote ‘It’s a thin line between love and hate’?”.

“Mapi no.”, is all Alexia says, making it pretty clear that the conversation is done as she starts to walk away from her teammate.

“But you know I’m right.”, Mapi yells after her, once again turning the attention in the room towards her. Even though she didn’t achieve her goal she was still happy that her guess was correct, so she could annoy Ingrid later for being in the right.

But unbeknownst to her, Ingrid tried to get some information about the possible feelings between Alexia and you out of you as well, but obviously not in the same annoying way her girlfriend did.

“I don’t know, it’s complicated.”, you shrug, “I don’t want to risk destroying what we have built so far, you know?”.

Your fellow midfielder lets out a hum at your words, understanding your fear, “I understand, but from what I noticed so far, the feelings seem to be shared.”.

“Maybe, but I think I'll just leave it at that for now.”.

“That’s fine but if you ever wanna talk about it, you know where to find me right?”.

“Of course, thank you Ingrid.”, you smile at her.

___ There wasn’t a day where you and Alexia didn’t talk to each other during the almost two weeks apart, whether it's been some messages simply wishing the other a good day or calling for at least an hour, you two always stayed in contact. Alexia was glad about that, because if she was honest, she slightly missed seeing you almost everyday which made her rethink the conversations she had with Mapi almost everyday. Maybe she should ask you out, but what if you reject her and the whole friendship falls apart?

Eli and Alba took notice of the change in behavior from the footballer, they noticed how happy the woman always is whenever she told them about what you two did every other day, also did they notice how excited Alexia always got whenever she received a message from you. When they asked her about it, Alexia tried to play it cool, that you two are just friends and nothing more but they know her well enough to see the doubt and hesitation right through her mask.

You weren’t much better, you also missed the Spanish women, your feelings only growing stronger during the two weeks you were separated, leading to a much longer than necessarily hug between the two of you the morning you picked her again after the break.

During the first game of the year against Sevilla FC, Alexia's eyes almost stayed the entire time on you, “You should ask her out.”.

Alexia turns her attention to her mother, but before she can reply, loud cheers erupt in the stadium, turning to look back at the field she sees your teammates swarming you, meaning that you must have just scored the third goal of the match. As you walk back to your position, you look up in the stands sending Alexia a wave and a thumbs up with a bright smile on your face which the injured woman immediately returns, “Maybe I should.”, she agrees quietly.

After the celebrations of the game are done Alexia and you find yourself in your car again, just arriving at her apartment she decides that it’s now or never, “I was thinking.”, the spanish woman starts.

“Yes?”.

“Maybe instead of grabbing lunch tomorrow we could go out for dinner instead?”.

“Sure, why not.”, you reply with a shrug, confused on why she was so hesitant about it.

Alexia blushes as she realizes that you haven’t gotten the real meaning behind her request, “I kinda mean as a date?”.

Now you also start to blush, feeling kinda stupid for not catching what she meant, realizing that the midfielder in front of you is still waiting for a reply, you quickly snap out of your thoughts, “I would love to.”.

“Really?”, Alexia asks almost in disbelief of you really wanting to go on a date with her.

“Yes.”, you chuckle.

The both of you just look at each other for a moment with hugh smiles and blushes on your faces, before a car horn behind you destroys the moment, “I text you the details then?”, Alexia wonders while stepping out of your car.

“Sounds good.”, you agree before you two say your goodbyes, the smile not leaving either of your faces for the rest of the evening.

The next day you were stressed, but Ingrid was your savior, you were nearly at the point of having a breakdown on what you should wear when the norwegian came over to help you.

“You look great.”, she says once you come out of your bedroom, having put on the clothes she suggested.

“Are you sure? Maybe I should try the ot-”.

“No.”.

“No?”.

Ingrid gets up from your couch, making her way over to you, “You look amazing, Alexia is going to love it okay? You need to calm down a little.”.

“Yeah, okay okay.”, you say, taking a deep breath in hope to calm down.

Alexia wasn’t much better, the woman also overthinking every little thing, while her sister makes fun of her, “Are you going on a date or are you about to get married? I have never seen you being this nervous for a date.”.

“It has to be perfect Alba.”, she says to her younger sister, clearly not finding any of her words funny.

“Come on, I was just trying to lighten things up a bit.”.

Eli comes in to interrupt Alba as she was once again going to speak up, scolding her “Alba leave your sister alone.”.

“Te ves hermosa.”, she tells Alexia, helping her with adjusting her dress. (you look beautiful)

“Gracias mamá.”.

One hour later you are standing in front of the restaurant where Alexia booked a reservation for the two of you. You were nervously rocking back and forth waiting for Alexia to arrive, which she does just a few minutes later.

A bright blush covers both your faces once you make eye contact, “You look beautiful.”, you compliment her, the nervousness clearly audible in your voice.

“Gracias.”, she whispers, “You also look amazing.”.

“Thank you.”.

Once you made your way inside to the restaurant and the nerves settled a little everything went smoothly, you two talked, joked and laughed for hours. Not wanting the night to end, you two decided to take the long walk to get back to your cars.

“Thank you for tonight.”, the catalonian says as you near the parking lot.

“Thank you for asking me out.”.

A moment of silence follows after that, you two just standing in front of each other, gazing into each other's eyes, slowly shuffling closer and closer.

“Can I kiss you?”.

You nod your head slightly, “Yes.”.

With your consent, she immediately places her lips on yours, her hands reaching out to your hips to pull you closer while you drape your arms over her shoulders. After air becomes an issue, you two slowly pull apart, big smiles on both your faces.

___

A lot of dates followed after this one, but your relationship actually wouldn’t become official until after the Supercopa game against Real Madrid. Having played almost the entire 120 minutes you were clearly exhausted, the happier you were that you and Alexia decided for a calm evening, simply cuddling while watching a movie in her apartment.

You were just about to start the second movie of the evening when Alexia speaks up with a nervous voice, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”.

Pulling a bit away from your position so you could look her in the face, you are met with the cute sight of a clearly nervous Alexia, “I would love to be your girlfriend.”, you say with a soft smile.

The relieved expression on your now girlfriend's face makes you chuckle, “You really thought I would say no?”.

Alexia quickly pulls you into her so you wouldn’t see the blush forming on her face, “I just didn’t want to assume things.”, she mumbles in your neck.

Breaking out of her grasp, you place a small peck on her cheek, before pressing a light kiss on her lips, “You are cute.”.

You two were almost inseparable after this evening, side by side whenever you could be with lingering touches and if you couldn’t directly touch each other, lingering looks were shared. Barely a day and night spent away from each other.

“It’s crazy to think that you two hated each other once, I still remember the way Alexia was cursing your name after the two losses against Wolfsburg back then.”, Aitana says during a team bonding night a few weeks later, nodding to Alexia and you while you were comfortably cuddling on the couch, waiting for the food to arrive.

You chuckle at her words, just about to reply when Alexia beats you to it, “You know what they say, it’s a thin line between love and hate.”, she shrugs.

“Love?”, you question, leaning a bit back to look at her.

“Mhm, I love you.”, she admits while looking you in the eyes, not caring about the others in the room.

The intensity of her stare makes you blush, “I love you too.”, you say, hiding back in her arms as your teammates around you start to ‘Aww’ at the confession that just took place between you.

But Alexia’s eyes are still sorely on you, not noticing the way your teammates were still staring at the both of you or the way Mapi tried to rip Ingrid's hand off her mouth, to ruin the moment by commenting about Alexia repeating the words she told her just a few months ago, all on her mind is how happy she is that you two crossed that Thin Line.

#woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #woso imagines #alexia putellas imagines #woso imagine #alexia putellas imagine

806 notes · View notes

super-paper · 9 months

Text

"Thank you for such wonderful comedy."

I've been wanting to talk about how MHA plays with the concepts of "fiction vs reality, the characters vs the actor, the world vs the stage" for awhile now, bc I believe understanding how MHA utilizes these concepts is pretty crucial to understanding our Big Bad (and Tomura!) (...and Izuku!) (.. etc!) (y-yeah...!!!) (wooo.....!!!!!)

If this post is more incoherent than usual, I apologize-- I'm just really enthusiastic about stories that play with the fact that they're stories and characters who throw themselves into a fictionalized role as a means of coping. I love the way MHA handles these concepts in particular, so I lost all sense of restraint as usual.

Hori: "I'm Like Dropping Hints That Hero/Villain Personas Are Actually Coping Mechanisms Lol"

"As Tomura Shigaraki and Tenko Shimura, I've got just one wish: the total destruction of everything that created that house." "If my origin as Touya and Dabi was such a simple thing, then... No, there are still things I want to say. Arguments I want to have."

I've seen a few ppl saying that it sounds awkward/strange to have the characters repeatedly asserting themselves in the third person, but imo, the emphasis on real names versus hero/villain names during these particular scenes plays into the idea of the villain/hero identities being "alter egos" that might not actually have the same core desires as the """"actors"""" that are behind these personas.

Tomura and Touya invoke both their real and villain names while asserting their respective wishes. Himiko also invokes her villain name, though it's less obvious to english speakers because she uses her real name as her villain name (in the raws, "HIMIKO TOGA" as a villain name is written using katakana-- and this is what she uses when asserting her wish). MHA plays with the idea of "fiction"/"Alter Egos" as a form of escapism and as a coping method, and at this point in time, the Dabi/Tomura/"Himiko" identities are still being utilized as a crutch/mask by these three very hurt individuals.

*loud, terrifying chanting* PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PE--

Ochako's fight being like the second most thematically important fight in the whole series still makes me unreasonably giddy btw.

To contrast, Ochako uses her civilian name alone when asserting her wish-- and imo we're meant to read this as Ochako wanting to save Himiko as herself, not as Uravity. Saving Himiko is not something she can accomplish as her alter-ego-- Ochako is able to save Himiko by stepping off the stage and becoming a "real" person, while also acknowledging the person behind "Toga Himiko (villain name)".

Izuku hasn't had his "I'm Izuku Midoriya"/"I'm-saving-you-as-Izuku-not-as-Deku" moment yet-- instead, we see Tomura intentionally making that distinction between the-hero-and-the-true-self by constantly referring to Izuku by his real, full name. And I'm pr sure Izuku is also the only one he does this to-- we see him referring to all the other heroes he encounters by their hero names alone, or by insulting nicknames (l-lol). Correct me if I'm wrong, tho!

(side note: Tomura switching to calling Izuku just "Hero" in the aftermath of Bakugate is actually a big step backwards imo-- it reads as Tomura trying to push Izuku away by shoving them both back in the hero/villain box and doubling down on enforcing their respective "roles." Not that I ever expected mister doomdere to make things easy, but, woof. Good Fuckin' Luck, Izuku ( ´･ω･) )

TL;DR The final arc has mostly been about tearing off the hero/villain masks to reveal who is hiding underneath— MHA's careful use of names and monikers plays heavily into that and its distinction between "alter-ego"/"true self" a lot. Which is... probably one of the many reasons why All For One still doesn't have a given name, as someone who has all but completely lost himself in his character.

Anyway! That brings us to the meat of this post: how does MHA take the concepts of "reality vs fiction" and "the character vs. the actor" and apply it to All For One (...and Tomura) (and Izuku--)?

"Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain!"

"If you refuse to submit, then I'll just rewrite the story." - it's amazing how all of this coulda been avoided if someone had just introduced AFO to Demon Lord x Reader fanfiction. (/j)

AFO fancies himself as the author of MHA's greatest tragedy (the desecration of Shimura Nana's legacy via the sacrifice of Shimura Tenko), while simultaneously inserting himself into its overarching narrative and treating himself as the leading villain of the story-- it's self-indulgent and intentionally invasive in the way that most self-insert fanfiction tends to be invasive, with him going to extremes to make it seem as though the whole story revolves around him. AFO wants to be both the author and the leading character and the leading antagonist. This greed is typical of him, but it also establishes him as a character who's more caught up in (read: trapped by) his relationship to "fiction" than anyone else. Again, MHA explores the use of fiction and alter-egos as an escape from a painful reality-- so, it's entirely reasonable to assume that this applies to AFO as well.

To me, so much about AFO reads as an escapist fantasy of someone who is utterly terrified of being put in a position where he is truly seen. The idea of being vulnerable, of being naked, of being "human," is intolerable to him. But by not allowing himself to feel and "be a human," he has effectively cut himself off from what he wants most. The character of “Shigaraki Tomura” is as much an escapist fantasy for AFO as it is Tenko-- It's just another (younger, prettier) layer of skin he can hide his true self in.

"so basically you're saying that AFO is a never nude" yes, actually :)

AFO dehumanizes Tomura through his attempts to turn the boy into his personal comic book character, but he also dehumanizes himself by desperately trying to insert himself into that “character." It's only fitting that Tomura’s innate humanity and capacity for feeling ends up rendering AFO himself painfully, painfully human-- and ultimately causes AFO's carefully constructed character to start crumbling.

If All the World’s a Stage, Then Let’s Destroy the Stage

"That stage is gone now. The theater's knocked down. How much longer can we afford to be spectators on the sideline?" "Once upon a time, a man named All Might showed all of us how to be a hero. But somewhere along the way, people forgot about the heart and soul that made the man." -MHA, Chapter 325

Tomura is attempting to destroy the stage, because without the stage there can be no "Shigaraki Tomura" (Or "All Might," or "All For One," or "Endeavor," etc etc etc). Without the stage, there are no more "characters" and no more tragedies. But-- without the stage, there are no more stories period. There are no more tragedies, but there are no more happy endings either. The world never recognizes the actor behind "Shigaraki Tomura" without the stage. The stage is not inherently a bad thing, so long as people can remember that the actors on the stage still exist outside of it.

But Tomura himself cannot imagine what happens after the curtains fall, and all that's left is Shimura Tenko. He is stuck in a role that was written entirely for someone else, but remains convinced that the role was always his and that the role defines him.

Tomura rebels against the story the only way he knows how--against an "author" who *LITERALLY* views him as a spicier self insert, and against a "setting" that treats his death as a happy ending-- but even so, Tomura still can't picture an ending that doesn't end in tragedy. His rebellion is not about him trying to wring a happy ending out of a miserable, mean-spirited book-- it's about burning the whole damn library down so he never feels let down or hurt by a story again.

Basically: Tomura cannot act outside the confines of his "character" in a way that will truly save him. Even as he rebels, he's rebelling in a way that is painfully consistent with the way his "character" is written-- and that's why AFO (the author) still poses such an enormous threat to him. Destruction cannot save him from this story when he was explicitly penned to destroy.

The only way to break this narrative is to act in a way "the author" doesn't expect, and to tap into all the traits that AFO desperately attempted to "write out" of him-- Shimura Tenko is someone who has always rebelled against his writing, his author, and the unfairness of this story with his kindness and his willingness to accept those that no one else will.

AFO cuts off Tenko's own power at the root by reinforcing Tomura's belief that the world will always inherently reject him, without fail, always and forever-- so he should just reject the world, too (and I've talked at length about this before, but this is why a story that ends with Tomura dying or locked away from society is an ending that fails in its goal to save Tomura). The more Shigaraki Tomura rejects everything and the more Shigaraki Tomura is rejected by everything, the more he distances himself from his root and the source of his power-- and the more Shimura Tenko gets lost in this character.

While AFO is terrified of someone seeing behind his mask, Tomura longs for it. Tenko has been there since the beginning and has been begging for someone to finally see and acknowledge him (both in-universe and out of universe).

"I’ll Be There, Changing Fate by Your Side."

AFO: "Blah Blah Blah Do you still believe myths can save you? Foolish creature. Let me be clear: every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered yadda yadda yadda :) :) :)" ENTER, MIDORIYA IZUKU WITH A STEEL CHAIR.

Izuku's role is that of a completely average boy who gets pulled into a narrative ''that wasn't for him"-- he has no heroic lineage, no hidden powers, and no connection to the centuries old conflict that drives the plot. He's just a boy who did the right thing at the right time and was rewarded for it. Izuku is someone who was "never supposed to be a hero" the same way Tenko was "never supposed to be a villain" per the "rules" of their world-- and Izuku, like Tomura, is someone who exists to destroy those rules and the expectations of their narrative, completely changing the ending.

But rather than burning the book and ending the story forever (like Tomura wants to do), Izuku believes that the story and characters can still be salvaged. There's always something worth saving. It doesn't have to be a tragedy, they can still change the ending. They can talk specifics after Tomura's crazy ass puts the lighter down.

Izuku, like Tomura and so many other characters, throws himself into an alter-ego in an attempt to redefine himself and escape from pain ("Nobody's been saved yet. Don't be the worthless old Deku who can't save anyone" 😬). He almost loses himself in the role of "OFA's torch bearer" the way All Might did-- but just as Izuku managed to find Toshinori Yagi and helped in convincing him that his life as Toshinori has meaning, Izuku ends up getting saved by his friends who couldn't care less about OFA's ~protagonist power~ and know that Izuku is just a goofy, awkward, human boy who needs help.

Like.... If we explore quirklessness as like... a narrative stand-in for characters that the story typically views or dismisses as irrelevant extras/npcs, then AFO's barely restrained anger at Izuku and Toshi (and possibly Yoichi if we're being honest) for daring to ''act beyond their roles'' becomes even funnier. AFO can't stand the idea of his power/the protagonist role being passed on to someone who seems so utterly unworthy, unremarkable, and plain. He can't stand the idea of someone without a quirk/"role" standing up to him, the leading character. Dude really is a toxic comic book fan to the core.

afo really said "I didn't like how things were going so I stopped reading and just wrote a better ending to the story :^)" like...... @mhareddit that's u buddy...........................;

Anyway...........!!!!! AFO is someone who cherry picks what he likes about a story while ignoring the actual intent/message of the work (#theabsolutestateofthemhafandom), but he has no intention of breaking down the dichotomy between heroes/villains and instead actively enforces it (.............#theabsolutestateofthemhafan--). He just wants to flip what side wins in the end.

Tomura wants to break the narrative because he sees that as the only way to escape from his pain (but in doing so, he permanently cuts himself off from being a part of a story with a happy ending). He wants to destroy the dichotomy between heroes and villains because heroes and villains "will never understand each other and never stop creating each other" (lol. lmao, even).

Izuku wants to break the narrative because he's realized that there's something more to this story than your standard "Hero versus Villain," "good vs evil" affair and that he cannot explore what lies behind those masks and labels without tearing them down, first.

These three work together well as a narrative set of Fucking Nerds, and AFO works well as both Tomura and Izuku's villain for all of the above reasons (& also bc he's the only one who is actually benefitting from their current society) ((which basically offers him an endless buffet of hurt and angry children he can exploit on a silver platter)).

Anyway! Kick his ass, Izuku.

#shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #all for one #sophie.txt #midoriya izuku #mha spoilers #mha.txt

251 notes · View notes