#what more do i want in life
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For Suzie, do you ever feel sensitive about your big schnozz? Because honestly, I think it's fine the way it is. :)
heyyy
honestly i used to? but now i dont really think about it anymore because @girlnextdeer(my girlfriend <3) never stops telling me how much she loves it LOL...
i used to be REALLY . KINDA. self conscious about how i looked, but now i dont care!!!! as long as my girlfriend loves it then im good lol
#ask#Anon#not that if she likes it then im good with it but like. yes it is LOL#she thinks its cute. she likes my sharp teeth and thinks its awesome that it looks like i can rip through flesh#what more do i want in life
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do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great
i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually
#ramble#yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am#and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks#i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me#one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know#i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary#some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier#and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless#signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow
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You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?
#TSAMS#Sun and Moon Show#The Sun and Moon Show#TSAMS Lunar#SAMS Lunar#Sun#SAMS Sun#FNAF Sun#FNAF#Five Nights At Freddy's#MeaganCanDraw#I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was#YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but#their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything#So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death#Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting#Moon's final in-person words to him were “I love you and I'm sorry”#to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode)#Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment#How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe#Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him#And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him#Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in#How much does HE think about that?#Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years??#It'll likely happen again#1k
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Steph's Year of Recovery
So! Danny noticed that a new face had made it's way into town. Two new faces actually, an older lady known as Dr Leslie, and a girl about his age called Steph.
He first met them when he was at the hospital for one of his parents. They had stood too close to an explosion again, and he met them while he was in the waiting Area.
Dr Leslie was a strict but obviously caring older woman, who seemed to be the one taking care of Steph as a kind of maternal figure, or maybe more like an Aunt. She greeted him simply and then walked away to talk with the Secretary, leaving him to talk to Steph.
Steph was a blond girl in a Wheelchair, and he could see bandages piking out of her clothes as he talked to her. She explained that she had been in an Accident a few weeks ago that left her wheelchair bound for a while, and that she had come to Amity for their surprisingly good Medical Centers.
He and Steph got along really well, and by the end of it he asked her for her Number so they could continue talking later. They stayed in touch, and when she was finally permitted to leave the Hospital, he introduced her to his friends. They all got along like a House on Fire, both figuratively and in one memorable case very literally (Vlad had pissed them off okay!)
Eventually Steph recovered enough that she moved from a Wheelchair to Crutches, and their shenanigans got even more chaotic (Vlad hadn't even pissed them off, this time was just for fun)
The only thing Danny could complain about was the fact that Steph was hiding something from them.
She said that she had been in an Accident a while ago, which was why they had come to Amity in the first place. But Danny knew it was more than that.
He could sense lingering traces of Death coming from her after all.
...
Steph honestly loved her current life.
Sure she had lost everything, her home, her health, her friends, her life, but she had gained new things too! Like Danny and the Gang! They were honestly some of the best friends she had ever had, and for some reason they just clicked with her instantly.
Danny was interesting and funny, Sam was vegan and a badass, Tucker was smart and witty, they all fit with her personality perfectly! It almost felt like she bad been friends with them for years. (She ignored the way her heart skipped a beat when she saw them)
But she still couldn't shake the sense that they were hiding something from her.
She knew it had something to do with the Ghost Problem in the town. And wasn't that a kicker, there was a whole Supernatural Ghost Outbreak in this Town and nobody knew about it. Dr Leslie had said that Amity was off the map enough to hide from Bruce, but she hadn't mentioned it was hidden from the Justice League itself!
Danny, Sam, and Tucker definitely knew more about it than they let on however. Whenever a Ghost Attack would happen, at least one of them would rush off with some practiced excuse and return after the Ghost Attack was over all dirty. She could guess what was going on, and she really didn't like it.
(This had killed her, she had died doing what they were doing, she didn't want to lose them)
Eventually she had to confront them, coincidentally on the same day they decided to confront her.
"Are you Vigilantes?" / "Did you die?"
"..."
"What?" / "What?"
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Stephanie Brown#Stephanie Browns Death#Steph actually did die to Black Mask#Dr Leslie didn't manage to save her but did manage to bring her back#How she did it is up to you#But because if that Steph needs Physical Therapy and Treatments only found in Amity#Amity is also secluded enough that Batman won't find them there#Steph knows she died but is willfully ignoring it to the point of almost repressing it#Especially because she doesn't know how she came back to life#She doesn't like that her brand new friends are also Vigilantes because being a Vigilante is what got her killed#She doesn't want them to die like she die#She doesn't want to lose her new friends#Trauma#Steph is Traumatized#Also all of them are 17 in this#Stephs age when she died is very vague but 17 is the most reliable middle ground#So the Trio has been Vigilantes for 3 years now#They know what they are doing and have a system so they can share the workload#Sam and Tucker still have their powers#So they can help Danny with the workload#Idk if Steph would develop Powers from the Treatment or her Resurrection but I kind of like the idea#Also yes this is Poly Eternal Trio + Steph cause she deserves happiness#I NEED more Steph Ships cause she deserves more attention
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idk how i want to draw him yet and not ready to make a srs attempt but here's a bad kdj phone doodle lol🚶🏻
#orv#kim dokja#omniscient reader's viewpoint#my art#oh yeah i didnt have ref for this fkdnfn was going off memory of the last (first) time i drew him#i cant do a serious attempt tho bc i havent read the novel so i dont have a clear image of him in my head yet...#(dont want to just copy the webtoon design hastily... if it matches my image thats fine but... idk yet)#my main opinion on the webtoon design is he's too hot/ikemen tho KFJDKDJ (this is what i thought since the beginning)#its like BONES mp100 anime reigen.... kdj is like manga reigen to me /j#but who knows maybe if i catch kdj brainrot i too will start drawing him like a kpop idol out of affection...🤷🏻♂️#like the webtoon artist prob draws kdj pretty bc they love him sm#just like how i draw jys pretty bc of my brainrot...#so who knows maybe that will happen to me too🤷🏻♂️ time will tell#my main opinion on webtoon yjh (no one asked): CUTE BUT WHERES THE T1TTY BEL- *voice muffled as i get dragged away*#(copied most of these tags from twit too lazy to retype the commentary)#EDIT: i call him reigen jokingly bc theyre abt the same age but#kdj is also mob core to me....#in that theyre both protags that dont look flashy and look more like extras/'mob charas'#yet r irrevocably unequivocably the protags of their respective stories#(just as everyone is the protag of your own life! sieze ur narrative! etcetc🖤)#also. both black haired bowlcut havers KJDJS#kdj is reigen coded (derogatory) and mob coded (POS)#hes also a 'con man like reigen..... yep hes def still reigen coded
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There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]
#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but#i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead#because i just think they're so neat and cool okay#listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs#because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested#but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings#i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that#in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh#i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding)#but also#i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube#its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all#maybe an animation reel will do for now?#i hope so :(#because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU#and honestly i dont regret it#i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black)#but yeah!#apart from this little video#you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be#and why theyre there#actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc.#but i got lazy HAHA#tsp blank scripts au#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.
They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.
They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.
Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.
On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.
#This is about traditional publishing but there’s pretty privilege and ageism in self publishing too#I can’t think of the last time I saw an up and coming author recording videos who was over thirty#And frankly that’s a shame#It could be that I’m not looking hard enough#but it’s more likely that algorithms are trained the way they are#truly I don’t think they should have to do any of that at all#And forgive me but (and I know it’s rich because I’m an artist on a platform) but art shouldn’t be at the mercy of an algorithm#Now there’s also something to be said about self publishing becoming easier and easier to achieve success in#And doors opening because of influencer status is real and makes publishing wider in a way#But that doesn’t mean it’s accessible#I’m not gonna plaster my health issues over the wall but that life is certainly not accessible to me!#are you healthy enough to write and make sure people on social media still want to like your stuff#are you mentally well enough to be your own pr#I’m sure people who have studied this have more to say and have said it better but this is what I’ve observed#writing#publishing#publishing industry
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Tango makes a terrible, terrible face as he walks into Grian's new creation. Bit rude, he thinks that is, but whatever. Grian waves his arms out, getting ready to show Tango more than he'd shown him when the practice room was still in-progress, when Tango says:
"What did you do to it?"
"Huh?"
Tango shudders. He folds his arms over himself and looks at Jellie the ravager. "What did you do to it. To this place. Why is it... warm?"
"I mean, it's not really warm, see it's all white so it actually doesn't retain heat very well, even with the froglamps, so I had to do some work to make sure the temperature was appropriate for heavy physical activity while not risking frostbite the way the actual dungeon does, and..."
Grian trails off.
"The point is that it's mostly just, I don't know, mild temperature? Unnoticeable temperature? The fact you commented on it is weird."
There's a strangely echoing quality to Tango's voice as he steps back again, against the door to the practice room. "It's clean."
"Yeah. I mean, that's the aesthetic, isn't it? Wiped clean of everything but the ravager, the water, and the drowned. None of the distractions. Good for practicing, you know?" Grian squints. "You should like it. You said you'd like it. Wanted people to be able to practice so they'd do better at the dungeon."
Tango shudders again. "You've wiped clean the ravagers, too. I can't... touch her."
"What?" Grian says, baffled.
"What have you done to this place," Tango says.
"Listen, I won't have you insulting my clean room," Grian says. "I cleaned it of all the dungeon bits. It's nice and easy and white and understandable. I won't have you corrupting it."
Hm. Not sure where that one came from, he realizes. Probably a bad sign. He'd certainly guess as much from Tango, who is staring at him with something akin to horror.
In a voice that echoes like a card readout, Tango says: "You won't do this in the dungeon. You'll feed us what's left from this. Or I'll have to ask you to move it."
Grian rolls his eyes. "Geez, yeah, I won't touch the actual dungeon! I already broke the sound test room, I'm not breaking any really important redstone. Now, do you want to see the drowned dodging room or not?"
"I'm horrified to find out what happened to the drowned, if this is your ravager."
Grian looks between Jellie's blank stare and Tango and throws up his hands. "Nothing! I did nothing to her! I have no idea what you're on about!"
"It's like you bleached their insides," mutters Tango. "Bleached everything. It's not natural."
"Not natural? Like you're one to talk!"
"I need to know. Show me," Tango says.
"Right then. Take off your armor first, I don't want Jellie getting thorned or something, then let's practice some dodging and get in there. Then you'll see this is a perfectly normal set of eerie white rooms and leave me alone, right?"
Tango makes a face.
"I don't know why I bother. Honestly. You'd think I'd done something weird," Grian says, and then neither of them talk much, on account of the ravager trying to chew their faces.
#hermitcraft#decked out 2#a bee fic#grian#tangotek#tango voice: what the fuck. how did you do this to the dungeon. what the FUCK#grian voice: what could i have possibly done. i just bleached the entire thing of everything that gave it life and made it hollow.#tango voice: WHAT THE FUCK#anyway i love how OPPOSITE the aesthetic of the practice room is to the actual dungeon#and how that is still somehow terrifying#also this one’s funnier if you read it as being in the universe where tango was COMPLETELY eaten because then it’s decked out itself#just going ‘what the fuck’ real quietly on repeat#but you can also read it as a universe where decked out and tango are more mutually the same thing or communicate or whatever you want
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we don’t talk enough about how great a job parisa fakhri is doing playing marwa, especially considering the restraints of the role. the way her mannerisms and tone of voice get more and more “cutesy” as the episodes go by and her true personality is altered by the djinn’s magic is honestly horror movie material, and she does it really subtly and gradually. i didn’t even notice at first but if you compare her speech in 4x02 to when she asks nandor about the flowers or her parents in 4x06, the change is noticeable, her voice is much more high-pitched. even in the wedding itself, her voice only lowers in register when she mentions she has had doubts about the wedding - the only moment where her real thoughts are coming through. as soon as she starts talking about how a feeling came over her and now she wants what nandor wants, her voice gets higher again. i may be wrong but i get the feeling that’s an acting choice on her part, and it really adds a new layer of depth to her moments on the show
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#marwa#rewatching the lamp episode it really stands out how much her personality and voice have changed#it could just be that she was more reserved at first because she wasn't as comfortable with her surroundings but..... i'm not sure that's i#frankly her arc so far has been a horror story so i'm really excited for the moment she gets her life back and she can go be an astronomer#or whatever else she wants to do#she deserves so much better#and i want to see more of her true self!!#post.txt#meta.txt
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updated Sleight ref!!
#i changed his colors !!#treat this as a suggestion than a solid ref. i spent like 3 hours drawing and redrawing the legs bc i couldnt get the shape right so if u#wanna draw them more planti or digi i do not mind ^_^ get silly with it!! same goes for pelt pattern do whatevr u want with it#the pelt pattern is loosely based on a snowshoe cat which was fun to play with. as u can see they kinda have a butterfly motif going on#if u squint the ear tufts kinda resemble luna moths or swallowtails with the long tail at the end of the wings#i was kinda torn about changing the costume color but it clashed too much with the new color palette so i had to change it#i didnt include the cape here so its easier to see the costume but ill draw it another time if i remember lol#its also a lil hard to see but i put pinstripes on their pants but thats optional. their design is pretty flexible anyway#god im pretty attached to this guy already. hes like semi fan character semi regular character... oc... thing#i should draw more furries. i followed some furry artists for giggles recently and its true what they say. u need furries in your life#btw while i was drawing this i was fooling around while trying to figure out his costume color and colored it as kaito kids suit for fun#and i just stared at it for a solid 5 minutes before saving a picture. maybe ill post it later#my art#myart#my oc#oc#furry art#fur#furry#laika's comet#laika's comet oc#fan character#sleight#ref sheet#oc ref sheet
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hi been noodling with designs for block guys have some sandy boys
#mcyt#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#scar goodtimes#desert duo#3rd life#third life#trafficblr#what are. the fandom tags (ekplodes)#dragon doodles#id in alt#remembered I wanted to let myself post more messy things here so here's! design passes I got carried away with#rly liked the idea of scar's palette being dark colors and green and grian's pale color's and red but scar's a red life and grian's a green#complimentary character design when I remember to do you my beloved <3#scar's wheelchair is powered and has treads + a front stabilizing wheel for sand purposes (also I referenced minecart wheels hence. cube)#not something I have much practice in but AM wanting to experiment more with wheelchair designs had lots of fun with this one :]#meant to be making these for a bigger piece but I'm actually procrastinating rn so Not saving these for then I Aim to stop procrastinating
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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.
people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.
"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."
the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.
the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.
at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.
"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.
this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.
#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations#idk that this makes sense#but im like#people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art#n im like#sure#but what if we stop making things for you huh#what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore#what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices?#why do u need to see us as machines?#''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it''#okay spend literally years of your life studying#''i don't want to do that''#okay pay someone who DID do that#''no i don't think it's a real skill''#okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to?#FOR FREE?#either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind#btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting.#thats studying#do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing#ur studying#do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully)#that's also studying#etc#was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that
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My job is burning around me and I’m only seen as an expendable cog in a giant corporate machine, but at least I have Helpy to lend a brightly colored hand!!! <3
#am I talking about fazbear entertainment or my irl job? nobody knows#what I do know is today I found out we’re getting a salary increase freeze for 6 months at least#which in corporate speak probably means a year or more#and restructuring of the company may happen after that#who needs a livable wage? not me obviously#anyway I just needed my small pink boy to cheer me up and it helped a lil#it was fun drawing his blush that way I may keep doing that. hehe#and he must have pretty pink eyeshadow#I’ll be all good in a few days just processing my life asmkcpjsdklc#my baby bear my little skrunkly guy…..#I need a plush of him to kiss on the forehead…#fnaf#fnaf help wanted#help wanted 2#five nights at freddy's#helpy#fnaf helpy#art
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oh boy, what are we doing to do with you now...
#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#my art#sketch#jrwi spoilers#jrwi riptide spoilers#riptide spoilers#is it in the same exact color pallett as the last dead chip art? yes#why? i dont know#am i going to draw another one like this? maybe...#its a fun pallett what can i do....#changed the design ever so slightly. removed the veins from his neck because it was just too much plus i don't think i want to-#pull up a ref with vein locations in human neck every time i draw chip#plus like. surely the veins were black just because his throat was damaged by the heart. surely they'll calm down later. haha#oh and his hair are a little lighter. i was debating making them gray as well but decided against it#my boy already looks like Scar from 3rd life. he doesn't need more....
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thinking about saiura
#my art#saiki k#tdlosk#saiki no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k#saiki kusuo#aiura mikoto#mikosai#saiura#i like them as friends more often but...an impulse came over me idk what happened . ..#i got an anon a couple days ago saying they liked my mikosai arts even tho i . didnt mean for those 2 be ship arts#so this one goes out to you#usually i dont like it when ppl tag my stuff as ship but i had a change of heart#(btw those other arts are still intended as platonic/ friendship stuff but i'm making an exception just this once)#anyway. no one probably wanted to listen 2 all that but yeagh#more recent art but not really. i really tried to do like have a bunch of arts on queue type deal but it didnt work . like at all.#anyway peace and love
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