File 001: Mr. Scar Goodtimes
Real name: We're still not sure, and frankly, we're too afraid to ask.
Job: CEO and Founder, Former CEO
Notes: CEO and Founder of Apeture Science, Mr. Scar Goodtimes raised this company from the ground. From making shower curtains to our new scientific advances, he has led our company to prosperity.
More writing under the cut!
Statement from Mr. Goodtimes: "Hello, all you investors and test subjects, Scar Goodtimes here, CEO and founder of Apeture Science. You might be wondering, "Scar, what possessed you to buy hundreds of dollars of moon rocks?" And the answer would be: Science! Just some good, ol' fashioned Science. Cleo, tell the Lab Boys to see if ground up moon rocks can do any Science."
Additional Note: We're not sure how Mr. Goodtimes came into possession of billions of dollars, considering he spends them all almost as soon as he gets them. The stock ratings are awful, and had it not been for Mr. Goodtimes' fortune, Apeture would have been bankrupt within its first two months.
Note from Mr. Goodtimes: "You know what I think will help achieve our aim of a big, beautiful tomorrow? AI. Artificial Intelligence. Cleo, can you get the Lab Boys working on that? Thank you. You see, I want to try and put myself into a computer! Wouldn't that just be great? Then I can get to see that great big, beautiful tomorrow. So, I'm getting the Lab Boys to work on that now! Say... That diamond looking moon rock looks suspiciously tasty..."
Additional Note 2: Mr. Goodtimes has begun eating the moon rocks. We hope this has no health concerns.
Additional Note 3: There were, in fact, health concerns. While we cannot get a direct statement from Mr. Goodtimes at this moment, he has stated that he wants Miss Cleo Zombie to "run this place" in the event of his premature death, and that the "Lab Boys" should "Stick her in <his> computer" if needs be.
Additional Note 4: It is with a heavy heart we report the death of Mr. Scar Goodtimes. As his tragic death occurred before the completion of the "GLaDOS Project", Miss Cleo Zombie will take Mr. Goodtimes' place as CEO of Aperture.
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Friday, January 5.
Farewell little friend. (tw: pet death)
This is a tough one, y'all. We are deeply saddened at the news that Jellie, the most beloved and beautiful cat of @GoodTimesWithScar, has passed away, aged 17-and-a-half years. But we are also gladdened to see the community band together in support of Scar—and pay poignant tribute to this sweetest little pal.
Hugs to Scar, and to all y'all, too.
@crunchesloudly
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i had a drram i called scar “scunt” and people got soso mad at me
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