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your-local-closet-monster · 1 year

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Home, a place I never knew

"I miss my home"

they say.

What is home?

I never knew the real meaning of that word.

Some say it's just a place.

Some say it's a person.

Most people think rather positively about this word.

What about me?

I never had a real home.

My first "home" was just a dark place.

A place that hurt me.

A place I hated.

My second "home" wasn't even a home.

I was used.

Broken into a weapon. A tool.

Nothing more. Nothing emotional.

And now?

I'm not sure if this place is a home.

My existence alone proves this life wasn't perfect.

However it did get better.

The demons of the past still haunt this body, but they're mainly in the past.

But I'm getting off topic.

Often I hear my headmates whine about how much they miss home.

How much they miss their family.

Their old life.

Their powers.

I may not feel the same.

My old life wasn't one with a home.

But I will do my best to make this place a home.

#- Keir #- 🌫️#poetry #vent poetry #home #system #did system #osdd #what is home?#mental health matters #neurodivergent #fictive #fictive alter #bnha fictive #poetry by me

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full-of-roman-angst-trash · 2 years

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What is Home? Chapter 3

Masterpost Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4

TW: Implied abuse, implied neglect, bugs mentioned

Age(s): Virgil (17)

As the weeks went by Roman and Remus did everything they could to make sure they stayed on Janus’s good side. They followed Janus’s rules, did chores, and kept their fighting to an absolute minimum. The two of them seemed to always be walking on eggshells in the house, something they did more out of paranoia instead of absolute necessity.

This was something Janus found both interesting and upsetting. As the days continued to pass, she couldn’t help but wonder just how bad the twin’s parents were. She couldn’t imagine what made the two teenagers so scared and nervous to make even the smallest of mistakes.

Of course, she never voiced her questions since she didn’t want to upset her guests or potentially trigger them. She quickly learned that the two teens weren’t exactly mentally stable. The two of them were extremely awkward with food, only eating an actual meal once throughout the whole week they stayed with Janus. The twins rarely slept, evident by the fact that they seemed extremely tired most of the time. They would often get irrationally angry and agitated, thankfully they never got aggressive but it did seem as the two never learned how to deal with extreme emotions.

The more Janus learned about the siblings, the more she felt sorry for them. She wished she could get them the help they clearly needed, but at the same time there wasn't much she could really do.

At the end of the day, she has only known Roman for a week and this is the first time she’s met Remus in person. She doesn’t really have a right to involve herself in their personal lives. All she could really do was try and subtly suggest for the twins to get help.

This was something the twins actually caught on to but neither of them thought much of Janus’s advice. They both knew they weren’t mentally healthy, it was something they realized a long time ago since they were obviously very different from the kids they grew up with. They just didn’t believe they needed help. I mean, the two of them have survived this far without the help or support of adults, so did they really need help?

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter. The two of them had other stuff to worry about, especially as the week came to an end.

The siblings had spent the week attempting to find jobs and an apartment. They eventually managed to find a cheap apartment that seemed relatively average with the help of Janus.

So on Saturday, the day before they left, Roman and Remus packed up their stuff. They spend most of the day with Janus, who they consider a good friend now.

The next day they thank the long haired teen once more before starting to drive to their new home.

“I wonder if our apartment will actually look like the pictures we saw,” Roman comments.

Their brother chuckles, “It probably won’t. I think the price seems a little too good to be true but eh, beggars can’t be choosers. Plus, we can’t really afford anything better so we’ll just have to make do.”

Roman nods, “I suppose you're right. I just hope it won’t be infested with bugs. I hate bugs so much.”

“There probably will be bugs, but I don’t think it’ll be infested if that makes you feel any better,” the older twin says with a shrug.

The shorter of the two siblings shudders and lets out a whine before looking at the sky. The 16-year-old has had a crippling fear of bugs for the longest time now. Something that probably comes from the dirty environment they grew up in.

The rest of the ride the two of them mostly hum along to the songs on the radio. They share a couple of words here and there but they mostly just let a comfortable silence fall between them. This is a huge step in their lives. They can finally prove wrong all the doubt and opposition they faced as kids. They’re finally experiencing true freedom. In a few minutes they’ll reach a home that they have full control of. So they took advantage of the silence to come to terms that their dreams are finally beginning to become a reality.

They arrive at the apartment complex and get their bags out of the trunk of their car. They walk to the door of their apartment and for a second the two of them just stand there. They stare at the door, both of them mentally preparing to walk in.

“Ready?” Remus asks quietly as he unlocks the door and waits to turn the door knob.

Roman takes a deep breath before nodding, “Yeah.”

With that the older teen opens the door. The two of them make no attempts to walk in, instead the two of them just slowly look at what they can see. After a minute or two, Roman takes the first step forward.

They put their backpack down by the door and start to slowly look around the small apartment. It wasn’t much but it was enough. It’s a one bedroom apartment with one bathroom and a kitchen that is connected to the living room.

After the teens finish looking around, they begin to move their bags into the bedroom, then they go to the living room and sit on the couch.

“So, what should we do now? It’s not like we have a lot of things to unpack,” Roman asks as they lean back on the couch.

Remus shrugs, “Well we can look around a bit. I mean, might as well get to know the complex we’ll be living in for a while. Then once we get back we can finish putting our clothes and stuff away.”

The younger twin agrees and the two of them walk out of their new apartment. As they walk around the three story building, they see some of the neighbors. They exchange greetings with some of them, but for the most part they talk among themselves.

After checking out the entire complex, they go outside and decide to look at the surrounding buildings. They see a couple of small restaurants around that the two of them might want to check out on a later day. They also notice a playground close by, where a handful of kids are playing at. The two watch with a small sense of longing. They don’t stare for long however since they don’t want to come off as creepy and they both go back to the apartments when they notice not much else is around.

As both of them walk to their door, they notice a relatively tall, pale male opening the door of the apartment to the left of theirs.

“Hey, you!” The taller twin calls out to the stranger loudly.

The other male flinches and looks over at the siblings, “Um, yes?” He speaks in a shaky and quiet tone.

Remus smiles widely, “My name is Perseus!” He points to his younger sibling, “And this is my twin Theseus! We’re your new neighbors!”

Obviously, those aren’t their real names. The two of them know that if they truly want to be successful in running away, they can’t just use their real names since it’s too dangerous. So, before they left their home the two of them picked out some new names.

“Perseus and Theseus? Those are some interesting names,” the other teen notes.

Roman shrugs, “Our parents really like Greek mythology. Anyway, what’s your name?” They attempt to change the topic.

Their neighbor seems to think over the decision of if he should tell the twins his name.

“Virgil,” he mumbles after making up their mind.

“Oooh! That’s a really pretty name!” The shortest of the three teens comments joyfully, “Really unique too!”

Virgil blushes slightly and looks down, “Oh, thanks. Uh, how old are you both?”

“We’re 16,” the older of the curly haired teens responds, “I’m older by like an hour though!”

The freckled male nods, “Oh, we’re similar ages then. I’m 17.”

The twins nod.

“Anyway,” Virgil leans back on his door frame and starts playing with the strings of his hoodie, “What are you both doing in these awful apartments?”

Roman and Remus go quiet. Both of them should have probably expected to be hit with this type of question sooner or later. Yet, here they are completely caught off guard by the simple question.

“Well, since we are still teens we needed a cheap place to live,” Remus eventually begins to explain. “This was one of the cheaper places we could find. We could ask you the same question though.”

The 17-year-old chuckles wryly, “I’m kinda in the same boat as you two. My parents unexpectedly kicked me out so I had to find a quick cheap place to live.”

Roman frowns, “You were kicked out? That must have sucked, I’m sorry.”

Virgil shakes his head, “Meh, it’s fine. It’s in the past. Plus, I need a cheap place to live so that I can earn money and eventually move somewhere better.”

“That’s a good idea,” Remus mumbles to Roman. “We should do that once we get a job and stuff.”

“You both are unemployed?”

The darker of the twins nods, “We’re currently job fishing.”

The other thinks for a bit before saying, “Well, I have an aunt that owns a clothing store here and she could use more employees. If you want I can give you guys the information to have an interview with her.”

“Yes!” They say simultaneously with bright smiles on their faces.

Virgil laughs and he gives both of them the needed information. After that, the three of them speak for a few more minutes before eventually saying goodnight to each other.

Roman and Remus walk to their room and put their clothes away before going to bed. Both of them excited to see what tomorrow has in store for them.

Taglist (Ask to be added or removed)

@ranboo-but-booran

#my writing #what is home?#roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #implied abuse #implied neglect #bugs mention #roman angst #remus angst

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stuckinapril · 1 month

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Incredibly alarming that talks of “peace” in Gaza seem to extend no further than a ceasefire. How do you think they’re gonna start off where they left off themselves? Their houses are destroyed, so many have lost mothers and fathers and brothers and children, they still have no clean water and no food. Any area Israel withdraws out of is an area it already knows has been rendered inhospitable. There was even a direct quote by some IOF soldier gleefully stating how he “wasn’t sure Palestinians could go back to their homes.” So what happens when the US “succeeds at negotiating a ceasefire”? Who will be responsible for helping the Palestinians rebuild all that they’ve lost?

#Just so incredibly heartbreaking #Watching the footage that has come out of Khan Younis is a different kind of pain #It’s a whole city razed to the ground and people are #Trying to salvage what they could but their homes don’t even exist anymore

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dirt-mccracken · 5 months

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As much as I want to be a wholly joyous about the fact that Henry Kissinger is finally fucking dead, as he deserves... There's a lot of me that can't help being upset with. With the fact that he lived to 100 years old. He got better medical care, better housing, and a better, more stable life for those 100 years than billions on this planet ever going to see and he did it specifically through exploitation, state sanctioned murder, and lies. He lived to 100 years comfortably on a legacy of violence that rarely threatened his personal comfort. I want to be joyous that he's finally dead, because the world IS better with him dead, but the reality is he won a long time ago.

#sorry to be a hashtag Downer but I've been thinking that for a few years like what victory is there when war criminals live full lives #and never face charges or jail time or any sort of mandated civil restitution #what victory is there when Kissinger died peacefully at home at age 100.#and what victory will there be when loads more 20th century war criminals die out naturally? what comfort can that bring?#bc to me all it says is the Next Kissinger will get the same mercy and same immunities #personal #pol #<- kinda

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sheshallfromtimetotime · 1 month

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National Poetry Month 2024 - Day One What is Home? - Mosab Abu Toha

#National Poetry Month 2024 #day one #What is Home?#Mosab Abu Toha #poetry

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petrichara · 6 months

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‘Love is the one thing that we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.’

“Eulogy from a Physicist” by Aaron Freeman, with quotes from Interstellar by Christopher Nolan, and images from NASA, Interstellar, Getty, Petrichara, and Reuters.

1- NASA: GOODS-South.

2- NASA: NGC 1850.

3- NASA: Iberian Peninsula.

4- Christopher Nolan: Interstellar.

5- NASA: From the Earth to the Moon.

6- Hannah La Folette Ryan: Subway Hands.

7- Adams Evans: Heart Nebula.

8- NASA: Exploring the Antennae.

9- NASA: Crescent Moon from the International Space Station.

10- Petrichara.

11- Getty Images.

12- NASA: SMACS 0723.

13- Reuters

#the comparison of humanity and the universe gets to me alright #we ARE the universe #what do you mean homes look like stars in space and from space we look like stars #what do you MEAN we’ll go back to the stars just as we began #we draw hearts and hearts are in the stars OH MY GOD #good god it gets to me #space #interstellar #stars #grief #love #physics #nasa #webweaving #compilations #subway hands

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full-of-roman-angst-trash · 2 years

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What is Home? Chapter 9

Masterpost

Note: There's going to be a chapter 10.

TW: Abuse, Neglect, Eating Disorder, Drug Abuse, Smoking, Depression, Injuries. (Ask to tag)

Ship(s): Anaroceit, Small hint of Intrulogical.

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Roman, Virgil, and Janus began to go on dates all throughout the last month before the court hearing. At first, they kept the relationship a secret since it wasn’t official and it was more of an experimental thing. After their 5th date, the teens decided that they were ready to commit to a relationship after they confirmed that it would work out for them. And once it was official, they announced it to their friends.

Of course, their friends were extremely happy for the three. Remus of course pulled Virgil and Janus aside and gave them the mandatory talk about not hurting his sibling or else ze’ll kill them. Janus and Virgil promised they’ll take care of Roman and never hurt them.

In the end though, Remus was okay handing off zir twin since ze could see how happy Roman was with their boyfriends. All ze has ever wanted was for zir sibling to be happy and if Janus and Virgil give them that then ze is happy too.

The time eventually came.

The twins drive to their hometown for the hearing late at night so they can arrive at the court early in the morning. Iris decides to pay for a hotel room in the twins' hometown. She does this so that not only can the twins' friends go and support their friends, but also so that the twins have a place to stay after the hearing. Unfortunately, the others weren't allowed into the court hearing since it isn’t open to the public.

As they enter the courtroom, the twins avoid looking at their parents as much as they can. They do their best to tune out their parents’ voices, though this is much harder considering the fact that their parents have to make statements to the judge.

Eventually, Remus is called to make zir statement.

As ze stands there reading zir statement, ze can feel zir parents staring at zir. They look nearly identical since the last time ze saw them.

Zir mother’s chestnut brown skin seems to have gotten slightly lighter. She was still as short as ever, Roman having gotten their height from her. Her amber eyes that ze can feel glaring at zir are still as cold and sharp as ever. Her long wavy hair is tied up into a clean lower bun. Her appearance is cleaner than it usually is, probably something her lawyers advised her to do to make her seem more professional.

Remus isn’t as scared of zir mother as ze is of zir father. Zir father is 6'7", something zir's father always used to intimidate Remus. On top of his height, zir father is also muscular, a trait he works hard to keep since not only did it give him a good public image, but it was also something else he could use to strike fear into the twins. What scares Remus the most though is how similar ze looks to zir father. Zir's curly hair, facial features, and hair color come from zir father. Ze hated it, but ze knew there was nothing ze could do to change this.

In zir's statement, ze details some of the abuse zir was subjected to; However, ze avoids going into too much detail since ze knows the judge has already seen the evidence. Instead, ze mostly describes how zir parents’ abuse caused zir irreversible mental and physical damage.

Ze talks about how ze developed an eating disorder due to the neglect and negative comments zir parents made about zir body. Ze talked about how seeing zir parents abuse drugs at a young age led to zir becoming an addict as well. Ze mentioned how years of malnutrition has caused zir many side effects, everything from dry hair to a weakened immune system.

Once Remus is done with zir statement, ze is on the brink of crying. Knowing that zir parents, the people responsible for so much of zir pain, are in the room listening to zir talk bad about them made this whole situation so much harder for zir. Ze knows that if they don’t win this court case and ze is forced to go back home, this statement might be the death of zir. Ze just hopes that zir statement can help guarantee they win.

Roman is called to make their statement next.

In the beginning, the twins’ lawyer was adamant about Roman not making a statement. It wasn’t because they didn’t have anything important to say, it was because they’re super emotional. They have a harder time speaking about their past without breaking down than their older twin does.

But, after Roman wrote the statement and showed it to their lawyer, she agreed to let them read it in court. So for weeks, they practiced reading the statement over and over in front of their twin and their boyfriends.

At first, it was tough. Roman would barely be able to make it halfway through the statement before breaking down crying. However, the more they practiced and the more they got the support of those who love them, the easier it got for them.

So, as Roman stood in front of the judge, they stood strong. They read in a confident and powerful tone. They kept their emotions in check, making sure they didn’t crumble or give their parents the satisfaction of making them cry. They kept a strong composure, maintaining eye contact with the judge throughout most of their speech.

Roman’s statement was vastly different to their twin’s. They chose to speak about how much better they’re living now compared to in the past. They speak about how amazing it is to finally live with people who actually love and care about them. They speak about how liberating it is to know that their friends accept their gender identity and sexuality, something their parents could never do. They speak about how refreshing it is to come home and not have to worry about not having electricity, medicine, food, or even just clean water.

They go into very few details about the actual abuse they go through. They do mention their struggle with anorexia, kleptomania, depression, and drug addiction due to the way they grew up. They talk about how they only managed to survive living in their parents’ house because of Remus and if it weren't for zir, they wouldn’t be standing in the courtroom.

As Roman comes to the end of their statement, they turn to their parents.

“And to the people who like to call themselves my parents, you have done nothing to earn that title. You both have no idea how to care for anyone who isn't yourselves. For that reason, neither of you deserve the right to have custody of me or Remus, who for the longest time was forced to take the role of my parent.”

Remus smiles softly. Ze was so proud of how much zir twin has grown and matured. Ze just hopes that they’ll win and be able to continue growing.

After Roman’s statement, all that was left was going over a couple more documents and lawyer statements.

Soon though, the judge is ready to make the final decision.

The twin’s tightly hold hands, both of them anxious and scared for the results. This was it. This is their chance to finally be free from the years of suffering they’ve endured. This is the last chance they have to start anew.

Iris stands outside of the courtroom with her cousin and his friends. They’ve been standing out there for about an hour now. No one knew how much longer Roman and Remus would be inside, but it didn’t matter. They were willing to wait out here as long as it took.

They knew that the second their friends came outside, they would need support.

So as the doors of the courtroom opened, they all immediately prepared for whatever reaction the twins would have coming out. However, what they weren’t expecting was to see the twins’ parents walk out first with their lawyers.

“Virgil, Janus, don’t,” Iris mumbles as she notices the anger in the two teen’s faces. “Stay focused. Roman and Remus will come out soon, that’s all that matters.”

Virgil scoffs and holds Janus’ hand, “I guess. They’re lucky you’re here.”

“You wouldn’t really be able to do anything even if she wasn’t here Virge,” Logan chimes in, “There’s literally police officers everywhere. Besides, they really don’t deserve your time, emotion, or attention.”

“There they are!” Remy calls out and points to the courtroom doors before Virgil can respond to Logan.

The twins walk out with their lawyers. Roman is crying, a hand covering their mouth. Their other hand is being held tightly by Remus, who is whispering something to zir twin with a bright smile and tears in zir eyes. Their lawyers are talking among themselves, smiles also present on their faces.

Their friends immediately run over to them.

Roman practically lunges at their boyfriends when they notice them. Meanwhile, Remus just waits for the others to get to zir.

“Ro?! What happened?!” Janus asks frantically as he hugs them back, “Did you win?!”

The tan twin doesn’t answer, crying too much to say anything. They can’t even seem to nod or shake their head. Instead, all they can really do is let out an incoherent sound.

Emile notices and turns to Remus for answers instead, “Did you guys win?”

“How about you ask them?” Remus responds as ze points to zir lawyers.

The teens turn to the lawyers with worried and curious expressions.

One of the lawyers gets a file and holds it out to Iris, “Here you go, ma’am. You have to sign these papers and turn them into the court in the span of two months to finalize the adoption process.”

Iris takes the papers with a shock expression before smiling brightly, “Oh my! Thank you so so much!”

The lawyers nod and say goodbye before walking off.

“You won!!” Patton yells excitedly.

Remus lets out a small laugh, a couple tears roll down zir cheeks as ze nods, “We did it! We’re finally free!”

“That’s amazing!” Virgil smiles widely, hugging Roman tighter before kissing their forehead and whispering to them, “You’re free, Ro!”

Roman finally manages to nod as they continue crying from the overwhelming joy they feel. They were finally going to have the opportunity to experience a normal life. They finally have the chance to try and heal from the years of abuse they’ve experienced.

The teens stay outside of the court room for about 30 minutes as they embrace and celebrate the huge victory they’ve just had.

Eventually, they go to the hotel to rest.

Early the next day, they start heading back home. Some of them ride with Iris and others go with Remus.

They get to Iris’s house at around midday and for the rest of the day they throw a small party to celebrate. It was amazing. They had the time of their lives as they let the rest of the world fade away. That evening, all that mattered was the victory and nothing else.

“Are you tired?” Logan asks Remus, seeing zir yawn.

Remus leans against the wall. The two of them are in the backyard. They had stepped out to get some fresh air while the others were still in the living room.

“Yeah, a bit,” Remus responds. “I mean everything still feels so surreal and a bit overwhelming. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster.”

The pale teen nods, “That’s fair. I can’t imagine it’s easy to go through so much trauma and emotional instability.”

The other just nods and for a couple of minutes the two of them go quiet. They allowed nature to be the only noise around them. They both knew they needed a moment of silence and this was the only chance they really had to achieve that.

“Hey Remus,” Logan eventually says as they look up at the sky. “Can I confess something to you?”

The curly haired teen nods, “Go ahead.”

“I have a crush on you. And I have for a while now,” Logan gets straight to the point after taking a deep breath.

Remus blushes deeply as ze is caught completely off guard, “H-huh?!”

“You don’t have to return the feelings,” the shorter teen reassures as they look at Remus, “You don’t even have to respond to my confession if you’re not ready to yet. I know it’s been a long couple of days for you, so don’t feel pressured to give me a response.”

The twin takes a deep breath and nods, “Can I give you my response another day? I need some time to think about everything that has happened.”

Logan smiles and nods, “Take as long as you need.”

---

@thedeadandthedecaying

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kithj · 8 months

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games (mostly text-based) about houses and places-- exploring them, haunting them, feeding them:

childhood homes (and why we hate them) - after a decade, you return home.

return - a text-based horror game about coming home.

singing from the far side of the hill - about a trans woman, homeless after a bad breakup, who rents a stranger's spare room. it's a decision she comes to regret.

anatomy - Explore a suburban house, collect cassette tapes, study the physiology of domestic architecture.

leave house - leave house

the open house - We at Northtree Real Estate (in partnership with Optix Dynamix Labs) are proud to present our new, state-of-the-art, open house simulator! Come and take a quick tour of 15615 Hollow Oak Lane, a familiar and comfortable showcase home in one of our premier developments!

what girls do in the dark - This little game is based off one of the greatest fears they had as a teenage girl: showing up late to a stranger's slumber party.

unbecoming - a sonically-textured interactive horror fiction exploring cycles of trauma and unspeakable forces of nature in a mythic rural American landscape.

13 laurel road - an interactive fiction game about the relationships we have with places and reconciling with trauma. You play as a young man named Noah who has been tasked with picking up some things from his cousin’s old house.

domvs - a gothic mystery game in which you rely on your environment to uncover the truth.

flesh, blood, & concrete - you find yourself in a vast, empty apartment complex.

i am still here - a short, unconventional ghost story and vignette reflecting on the end of a long lockdown.

vacant - Film a ghost-hunting show.

#on a haunted house kick #some of these are like. a stretch i suppose #but all of them revolve around places or exploring them in some way #people seemed to like that last list i posted surprisingly lmfao #this is just from what i've personally played #it's kinda hard to search for a niche subgenre....i skimmed some of the haunted house tag on itchio #but as soon as you get into 'horror' over there you just get some real awful schlock #edit: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT GONE HOME.....#games

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