Alive again

Chapter 4

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it. 

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 8-10: hurricane katrina more like hurricane tortilla

Chapter Summary: Everyone in this school needs their hearing checked.

Warning:  Curse words, jokes about death, slight violence, fire,

Words: 4.3k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

While you normally say “Sleep is for the weak,” this is not what you meant. And honestly you want to be weak compared to the literal 7 minutes of sleep you got. Everything felt off, and it wasn’t like your regular sleep schedule was great anyway.  All you did the entire night was make up scenarios in your head and contemplate both life and exploring the campus more. However, by the time you decided to go find the tallest tower (just to see it dude), all three ghosts were floating above you close to your ceiling. 

You whispered as to not wake up the sleeping cat that needs to stop taking up the bed, “Yo, not cool dude.”

The ghosts just winked at you and proceeded to try and scare the cat out of his slumber by reminding him about cleaning the school, but Grim seemed more like a teenager than you when he responded with a wish of “five more minutes.” 

The ghosts did not find this at all amusing, so they continued and even tried to make a morbid joke:

“Laze about too long and you’ll never wake up!” The smaller one started the joke. 

“Just like us!” And the largest one ended it.

The ghost's appearance frightened the cat causing the little demon to spring from under the covers and frantically run around the room basically accomplishing nothing. The ghosts, however, did not find this appealing and turned to you.

The tallest one spoke to you, “Are you all going to be living here? You’re gonna get pranked.”

Nodding your head, you agreed to the wonderful idea, but with a twist, “See dude I know you wanna prank us, but I would love to help all of you prank others.” You paused for a second and put your hand on your chin. “I’ve never had ghost friends and I really wanna know what you guys can do..” 

Grim was the exact opposite and continued to scream at the ghosts, but you just nodded your head at your brilliant idea and thought of all of your plans that you could get away with ghost friends. 

Right at this moment, the oh so gracious headmaster appeared out of thin air and greeted you, “Good morning, you two. Did you sleep well?”

Grim apparently did not, which peeved you off because you were the one up all night, so you just responded with, “Yeah the best sleep I’ve had since I was conceived…”

You knew the headmaster would not understand sarcasm, but honestly why is he even in your room in the early morning without knocking? The world will never know. And with a small world from him you zoned him out. At least until he mentioned cleaning the Main Street of the Campus. Once he stopped his speech his eyes flew to yours to wait for an answer.

“Sure, headmaster, but what am I supposed to use and where is this “Main Street”??” He never explained anything to you. I mean even if you listen when you try, the man tells you nothing. 

Here he goes trying to not explain anything to you, “I'm counting on you. You have permission to have lunch in the school cafeteria. Take care of your work enthusiastically.” He yeeted out of here just like your world did to you. 

“Ughhh, at least we get lunch…” You sighed into the unknown hoping someone would save you from this.  

“Tsk... No way I'm doing any cleaning. I wanna go to class, and bang! Boom boom boom! Use a bunch of awesome magic.” There was no use speaking to either of the two children of the school. 

“Dude, please, let’s just go and get this over with. Got it?” The cat just muttered in response to your reasoning, and you took that as a sign that he listened and that was the best you were ever gonna get from him. 

You got yourself together and decided that since nothing was gonna go your way, why act like it was. Your ideal belief made you not even look at yourself in a mirror, but just pull up the hood you had on from yesterday and grab some of the cleaning supplies that you found in the dorm. 

You and Grim headed out, and you waved a goodbye at the ghosts and blew a kiss at them because it is for the homies. 

Grim did end up abandoning you for a while to go find some “great tuna” for him to snack on. 

While walking out of the dorm and into the normal path of the school you encountered some odd people, and you actually considered yourself to be odd so these people were like the weirdest of the weirdos. One was a really jacked up on steroids furry, another was this pair of twins who everyone was avoiding and had weird anime twin hair which was the same hairstyle but parted differently or something, and you even saw an adorable boy, which is not considered weird, but he looked incredibly peeved at the rocks that he was kicking. Their outfits were all similar, but you did notice that there was a slight color difference between all the different people. 

Since life is not going your way and probably never will, you decided that the next person who you saw that you did not already see before you would ask directions from. The one problem with that is that the dude had a very sus vibe. He had on like a hat that was from like the 1800’s, but he did not have any other terrible features. He was rather breathtaking if you thought about it, but his eyes moved all around the crowd walking to get somewhere, and that gave you enough stalker vibes. His blonde hair in the bob was very cute, and maybe a little bit attractive, but his fashion sense was eccentric. Honestly, he was just eccentric. However, weighing your options, he is mostly approachable, and besides who isn't afraid of everyone they meet. 

You strided up to the man with as much confidence as a supermodel has. The male’s eyes swiftly darted to your form once you changed directions just making everything more awkward. Confusion spread through his face, but you kept on walking and stumbling and even lifted your hand for a small wave to him. The male did observe you just like you did him and found that you would not be a threat at least not that much and allowed your approach. 

Once you were within a distance where both of you could hear one another, he spoke, “Well, well, well, is there anyway I can help you, canard?” The man gently smiled at you, and damn you were hooked, but the man totally watched you stumble around wondering who to turn to, so this was just a cute situation. 

“Um, you see, I don’t know where the main street is..Could you help me?”  This man was actually making you nervous, but you put it all to how charming he was. 

“Oui, who would I be to not help un petit canard.” His hand went to his chest, and while with the headmaster and most of the others on this campus would piss you off if they did it, the male in front of you actually made you feel a little reassured. 

Your mind paused for a second to finally realize, ‘It’s been five minutes and I already have a slight crush… wow.’ 

The male waved his hand to motion for you to follow him as his grin just grew and he turned around, and you in your confused glory stumbled after him. He slowed his footsteps to allow you to both match him and keep up with him in the long run, and he began to make conversation with you.

“You must be the magicless student, oui?” As gentle as he looked when he lightly smiled and closed his eyes, he also had an air of danger floating around him. You wanted to trust him but also didn’t. 

“Yeah, dude...don’t know why I’m here either, and I can’t leave. Nothing seems to be going my way.” You shook your head and sighed deeply, but you were just happy that someone would listen.

“Poor petit canard, it would be my honor to help you with any of your problems,” he’s really good. He’s probably the best person you have met since the sun because he actually seems a little nice. 

“Thanks a lot. With all of the assholes and weirdos here, I didn’t exactly expect someone who would care about me.” You placed your gaze on the ground where you watched your feet and his walk while your lips turned up slightly, but you did think that this guy was weird enough for making you feel embarrassed and his whole odd vibe.

“It is no problem, petit canard, but I would recommend giving a chance to the people here,” he halted his speech and steps for a second just to land in front of you and to turn around causing his gaze to meet yours while you slowly looked up at him, “No one is like they seem.” His eyes did those weird anime think where a light shines over them for a second. 

“What?” Your mouth gaped open in visible shock at the man before you. 

At least until he twisted back around with the wind giving his jacket a flutter, “We have arrived, canard. Do have a nice day, oui?”  With a bow of his hat, the blonde hair man was out. 

“You know what, that is probably gonna be the most normal person I will meet at this school,” you thought for a second recognizing that you forgot about the dude from last night, “either him or the silver haired sleeping beauty.” You chuckled to yourself. 

You began to scan your surroundings which consisted of seven different statues and a long path leading up to the school one way and out the gate another. Many trees also decorated the area outside the path. 

And from this you determined that you would need the broom and washcloth you brought, but a rake would be appreciated. 

You groaned out to announce your displeasure and got started on cleaning up the place, and that is when Grim showed up to begin complaining that he had to pay for the tuna and that no one would give it to him for free. He even said that someone even threatened to kick him out of the school, but that did not surprise you. You just threw a cloth at him and told him to go scrub the statues.

He did his job for a good ten minutes without mouthing off at any of the students walking on the street getting ready to start school, but he did turn to you while washing the statue of the Queen of Hearts from the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland. 

“Hey, servant,” the cat peered up at you with big doe eyes, “What’s with all these statues? All seven of them look pretty scary,” the cat gazed up at the statue he was cleaning again, “This granny looks especially snobby.”

You just giggled at his statement, but a male with red orange hair and a red heart on his face came up to you too, and he was puzzled, “You don’t know about the Queen of Hearts?”

Grim gawked back at the male, “Queen of Hearts? Is she important?” 

“Grim, no one is important unless someone makes them important, so logically speaking no.” You just had to cut in with an idea about society that you just thought about.

The male with the heart on his cheek had something to say and started going on and on about how amazing she was as a queen. You just ignored him and went to work because you have heard of her and all that she was before, but Grim was captivated and started basically worshiping the words that came out of the male’s mouth. Grim even added in comments about the Queen here and there, but then Grim asked, “By the way, who are you?” and that caught your attention from cleaning. 

“I’m Ace, a fresh-faced first year. Nice to meetcha~” Ace winked at the two of you.

But you had to open your mouth, “Who calls themselves a fresh-faced first year. That’s basically saying you're fresh meat.” You raised an eyebrow while asserting your belief. 

However, neither of the boys listened to you. 

“I’m Grim, a genius who’ll become the greatest magician.” Grim just had to introduce himself; he even introduced you and called you both a dimwit and a servant which did not surprise you. 

Ace turned to you and in your eyes tried to compliment you, “You’ve got an odd sounding name.” 

“Thanks I guess, dude, but why are you here?” He had to be leaving for class soon, but he was just sticking to you two. His introduction confused you about his personality because after all the people you have met only three of them had been slightly nice and even then, all of them were odd. This guy had to be hiding something, and you think it might be something to do about his personality. 

“What are you talking about? I’m just here to help you two. I don’t mean to cause any trouble.” Ace responded.

‘So he wanted to cause trouble,’ was your immediate reaction. 

Ace then turned back to Grim who started a conversation about Scar from Lion King. All that was in your head was “Be Prepared” the villain song in the movie while you watched the two discuss who Scar was and what happened in the movie. But Ace never mentions his death or how he betrayed those who helped him. From your understanding, there was a serious misconception about villains at this school. Now that you thought about it they must clearly respect and reverence them because they had statues of some of the worst Disney villains. And throughout your debate, those two started to talk about Ursula from The Little Mermaid, but Ace referred to her as “The Sea Witch.” Nothing was similar really from the interpretations of the story in your world or this other world’s interpretations. 

While you will admit that some of the villains were not as bad as they could have been and that they were not total villains because most times the main characters and heroes of the stories were total pretentious assholes who knew nothing of ruling a kingdom or anything, romanticizing villains is a little wrong. Moana, though, an absolute queen. Cinderella also deserved better. 

The two visited every statue from Jafar from Aladdin to the ‘Evil Queen’ which they called the ‘Beautiful Queen’ from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to Hades from Hercules but the entire storyline was off because in greek mythology Hades wasn’t even the villain behind the story but whatever. The two finally gathered their stuff next to Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, so you followed the two along because this was the last one and you needed to observe Ace, “the fresh meat,” more. 

Grim asked the question about the statue, “And the last one, with the horns?” 

Ace went on about her too, “That is the Witch of Thorns from the Magic Mountains. Noble and elegant, even within the Seven, she is top class in magic and curses! She can summon lightning and storms, cover an entire country in thorns, her magic is on a whole other level. There was even a time she transformed into a huge dragon!” You just nodded along at his speech. 

Grim even contributed again, “Ooh! A dragon! All monsters look up to them!” Grim looked so overjoyed for having someone to tell him about the villains; he’s just your idiotic cat sibling. 

“They’re all so cool!”  There had to be a moment where Ace showed his true self but he hasn’t done it, “Unlike a certain raccoon.” And there it is!!

Grim backed up in alarm from the kid and switched his gaze quickly to you in panic. He was an incredibly trusting cat which made you feel pretty bad for him.

Ace ignored the communication between you and Grim and like a proper villain presented his monologue to you two, “Pfft... Ahaha! I can't bear it anymore! Ahahahaha! Aren't you the guys who went crazy at the entrance ceremony? You were summoned by the Dark Mirror even though you can't use magic, and you, a monster, weren't called but still trespassed. Yeahhh, it took everything I had not to lose it at the ceremony.” His laugh sounded like a fart trying to come out but was halted by the butt cheek and the fabric of the pants so really not cute. 

Grim shifted his attention back to “fresh meat” and gawked at him, “Whaaa!? You're a rude one!”

Since you wanted to find more about this kid before you beat him up, you gave him a second to explain himself.

“And now you aren't allowed in and got regulated to be a janitor? Haha, how lame.” Is this kid kidding? Grim even agrees with you after his noises of distress and disagreement with the kid, but the kid kept going, “On top of that, you don't even know about the Great Seven. How ignorant can you be? As I recommend you go back to kindergarten before coming to Night Raven College.”

You just shook your head at the boy ready to step in once he finished his little speech.

“I thought I'd just mess with you a bit, but you really blew my expectations away. Unlike you two, I actually have classes to attend. Keep this school squeaky clean, you two~” The boy whistled at you two and waved at you and walked away.

At least he tried to before his collar was in your hands and your eyes were right in front of yours. 

“Y’know I’ll give you some praise because you are the most pretentious fuck I have met at this school,” You let go of his collar and knocked his feet a little to make sure he would fall to the ground, “ And what are you like five. All of your jabs at us are literally terrible, but that’s not even the worst of it. You must be so bored of your life or have such a small dick that making fun of people supposedly weaker than you, just gets you off. I never get people like you who belittle and tease others. Is it fun kid, huh, to make jokes to basically another kid when you just know how they are gonna react? ”

Ace sat on the ground stunned by your comments acting like a helpless child who just got yelled at with his red flushed cheeks and his balled up hands by his side. At that point, you realized that there was a crowd gathering around your little spat, and Ace’s cheeks and embarrassment was probably due to getting yelled at by the magicless student who became the janitor. 

However, Grim did not process that you were already lecturing the kid before he blew flames at the two of you.

“Are you kidding me GriM? I’m right here!” Normally fight or flight would respond to his action, but yours was not working causing you to stay in the same spot while some of the flames got closer. 

The kid was running away screaming stuff like “Nope not today” and “why,” but after he stood all the way up and walked a couple footsteps his collar was in your hand again. 

“Not happening, pipsqueak. You’re gonna pay for your actions.” You pulled him around to make sure he could hear you and see the mess of people running around behind you and the cat still trying to blow fire at the two of you.

Grim even started yelling, only making the flames worse and more rowdy, “It's what you get for making fun of me! I'm gonna light up that fire-head of yours!” Grim even smirked to make his point and pointed at the boy still in your hold.

This immature boy was not able to read the atmosphere and stood up to the fire breathing cat, “Fire-head, huh?Heeeeee. You've really got guts picking a fight with me. You too. I'll turn you into a puffy, little toy-poodle!” 

You slapped him on the back of the head for that causing his head to go forward and his hand to grab where you slapped. But Grim kept on shooting fire.

At least until Ace managed to get out of your hold by twisting and wiggling so much. Once he left he ran over to join in Grim and have a fight, and it just seemed like these past couple of days nothing would go your way. 

Ace took out the pen thing you saw yesterday and pointed in directly with a light coming out of it at Grim causing wind to go everywhere blowing the fire. More people also began to crowd around the two and murmurs and gossip broke out everywhere, but all you could pay attention to was stopping them. 

That didn't work out. 

The two kept on spitting insults at each other and magic, and once you got close you grabbed Ace by the ear pulling on it causing him to slightly turn from the fight. You tried to lecture Ace in that moment to tell him to stop, but Ace was far too focused on the cat in front of him and ended up grabbing your wrist, throwing it off his ear, and then shoving you right on your hands and butt into the cement where some flames were. 

All in all basically getting roasted alive was a solid 3/10, but you are sure some people got pictures and videos of it. Since you did get out of those flames in a split second and ‘Stop, Drop, and Roll’ which surprisingly worked, all you ended up with is some burns on the palm of your hands and the back of your calves. And since everything was pissing you off today you also found out that the cult-like cloak you were wearing is fireproof.

Grim got more enraged the more the fight went on and finally had enough, “Eat that!” 

A great amount of flames appeared darted toward Ace, but Ace had other plans, “And I just change my trajectory with the wind like… that!” The wind sent the flames hurtling to the statue of the Queen of Hearts causing the statue to be engulfed into flames.

And your only thought was, ‘This school needs to offer a physics class even a basic math class if all these magicians are as bad at predicting as this one.’

The two children were panicking and running in circles with their stupid tails between their legs screaming at each other and blaming each other. You just wanted to get this over with because you knew that you would be in trouble even though you can’t control anyone or threaten anyone because you are magicless. Grim is also a wild cat, and cats never listen. 

Right as Ace tried to reason with Grim the headmaster showed up, but that only caused two to overreact in fear of him and run away from him and the problem both of them caused. 

Neither escaped of course because they both got whipped which made you think what were the laws regarding teachers and children because you know that whips mostly were not allowed at school and not to be used on children. 

Nevermind that because the lovely headmaster with his gorgeous top hap and magnificent cape started another lecture, “This is my Lash of Love! It'll be another hundred years before you can outrun me!I told you just yesterday to 'not cause any trouble', didn't I?Then you go and char the statues of the Great Seven!I very much would like to see you expelled.” 

You could not wait to be let out and with a blank voice you let out, “Honestly, please let me out. I’ll take the streets over this.” 

No one heard you or at least no one seemed to. 

“Assholes,'' you grit your teeth ready to bear with another problem the headmaster gave you. 

Ace did not agree with you and screeched out, “Wait! Not that!” He whined like the baby he is. 

The headmaster could only make your day worse by turning to you who by the way is still covered in burns and had a look of pure defeat on your face and address, “And you, this is not how you supervise Grim.”

You just exhaled and promised to yourself that while getting expelled and kicked out of this school sounded great, living on the streets did not (Even if it did for the tiniest second there), so you nodded and smiled as best as your strained face from anger could take. 

The headmaster thought that was enough and turned to Ace asking, “My goodness.. You, what's your grade and name?”

Ace actually replied, most likely in fear, “Ace Trappola, first year.”

The gracious headmaster was pleased, “Then, Trappola, Grim, and you as punishment, I order the three of you to wash 100 window around campus!” He bounced his head probably affirming to himself that he chose the proper punishment after he pointed at you. 

Grim did not agree, “Nyaaa!? It's all cause this joker was making fun of us!”

Ace also did not, “Eeeh!? Me too?”

You silently sympathized with the headmaster for having to deal with so many children because he could only respond undoubtedly, “Most definitely! After school, meet in the cafeteria. Understood?” 

The two children groaned in disapproval but went with it.

And Grim stated something that you couldn't agree more with,“Nothing but misery since yesterday!!”

Your only response to the entire situation was to fall onto the cement again and try not to cry because a bad bitch doesn’t. 

~~~~~

Hahaha...I can't with myself. I tried to make this short, but it's the longest one so far. Thank you so much for reading everything, and I hope you have a great day!

More Than I Know [Epilogue]

Tom Holland x female reader

Masterlist

Words: 1.2k

Warnings:  fluff, fluff, fluff

A/N: Here’s the epilogue! I thought about writing about their wedding but then I thought it would be cute to show how they tell the reader’s family that they’re engaged :)

And I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for reading this story! It’s been so much fun to read all your reaction and I hope you’ll be around for my new fics as well ❤️

I’m also going to post a few bonus chapters at some point so keep an eye out for those :)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

You slipped out from under the covers, trying not to wake Tom. It was still quite early in the morning and it had been a long night. You picked the shirt that Tom had been wearing yesterday up from the floor and pulled it over your head before stepping into the bathroom. Yesterday had been quite a day. After spending the whole weekend moving yours and Tom’s stuff to the new house, with the help of both your families and movers, of course, you had enjoyed your first dinner in your new home. The house was significantly bigger than the flat you had shared before and you could see yourself starting a family and growing old in this place. Tom had cooked for you and because the dining table had still not arrived you had sat on one of the moving boxes, pasta plate in hand when Tom got down on one knee. Asking you to marry him. 

For the longest time marriage had always been something that you felt pressured into by your family. Even if they only did it because they wanted you to have your own happily ever after. You always thought that you’d someday get married because that’s just what happens, right? But since being with Tom, you’d found yourself thinking about marriage in a whole different light. You genuinely wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. And even though it was technically just a piece of paper, it meant so much more, and you wanted to take that step with him. 

You stared at the diamond ring on your finger. Surreal.

“Having second thoughts?” Tom mumbled wrapping his arms around you from behind, his warm hands moving under your shirt, touching your skin.

“Never.” You replied and Tom placed a kiss on your shoulder. You turned around in his arms, his hands slipping from your waist to your butt, his fingers running along the lace-trimmed edges of your panties.

“Are you excited to tell your family?” He questioned as he pulled you closer, placing a kiss on your lips.

“My mums gonna ball her eyes out, she’s gonna be so thrilled.” You smiled at the thought. “And I think dad’s gonna be excited, too!”

“Well, your Dad already knows.”

“He does?”

“I had to get his blessing before asking you.” He shrugged his shoulders with a small smile. And it made you feel all warm inside.

***

A few hours later you arrived at Kate and Daniel’s place. They were hosting a little family get together and you couldn’t wait to share the news. Kate opened the door with a warm smile on her face. 

“There you are! C’mon in guys. Mum and Dad are already here.” She motioned for you to enter the room and as soon as you did you heard quick footsteps approaching from the living room. Little Ella came rushing towards the two of you the biggest smile on her face.

“Uncle Tom!” the two-and-a-half-year-old exclaimed raising her arms up in the air. Tom quickly picked her up and placed her on his hip. 

“Hi Ella, how’re you doing?” he asked making the little girl giggle.

“Very good.” she started playing with the collar of Tom’s shirt. “Draw with me?” 

“I’d love to draw with you! Where’s your drawing stuff? In the living room?” with that he walked towards the living room with the toddler clutching onto him. 

Ella was born about nine months after the wedding, if that wasn’t a successful wedding night, and she had been fixated on Tom ever since. He was her favourite person besides her parents. You couldn’t really blame her though.

“She didn’t even acknowledge me.” You laughed and turned to Kate who was also grinning. “Promise me you’ll like me more than Tom.” You addressed Kate’s baby bump making her laugh. 

“Ella probably won’t let Tom near the baby in fear of losing his attention.” She said as you both entered the living room. “Your chances are good.” You nudged her with a roll of your eyes before greeting everyone. Daniel and your dad were deep in conversation and only looked up for a moment to say hello, immediately continuing their conversation. So you sat down on the couch next to your mum, you both watched as Tom drew with Ella.

“She adores him.” Your mum said and you nodded. Every time you watched Tom with Ella you wondered what it would be like to have a family of your own with Tom. He’d be such an amazing dad. You hadn’t really talked about having children, not seriously anyway. Shortly after Ella was born you had talked about it briefly. So you knew that he definitely wanted children. He had grown up with three brothers, so his dream was to have at least two kids, but he wouldn’t be opposed to more. “So...when can I expect some grandchildren from the two of you?” Your mum raised her eyebrows and you lightly slapped her thigh.

“Mum!”

“I’m only joking. Kind of. No pressure, love.” She smiled softly and turned her gaze back to her granddaughter. You wrapped your arm around her in a side hug and placed a kiss on her cheek. Your mum absolutely adored being a grandma, it’s as if she’d been born for it. Kate had to have a word with her every once in a while so she wouldn’t spoil her too much.

You walked into the kitchen to help your sister with dinner and half an hour later the whole family was gathered around the dining table. You leaned closer to Tom so you could whisper into his ear.

“Should we do it now, or wait until after dinner?” Tom shrugged his shoulders. 

“However you wanna do it, darling.” He kissed your cheek with a smile and you nodded. Might as well get it over with. You cleared your throat and contemplated on knocking your fork against your glass but that seemed a little much. Tom reached for your hand under the table. 

“So...Tom and I have a little announcement.” You said and everyone turned to look at you with wide eyes. 

“We’re getting married.” You said and raised your hand to show off your ring at the same time as Tom said: “She said yes.” And for a moment you could’ve heard a needle drop before everyone started talking at the same time. As predicted your mum was teary-eyed, so was your sister. Ella didn’t really understand what was going on and Daniel pat Tom’s shoulder while your dad smiled gently. The food was now forgotten as everyone congratulated the two of you and your mum already started questioning you about what you wanted the wedding to be like. When everyone had calmed down a bit you told them how Tom had proposed the night before. Everyone was so happy for you. And you felt like you were the luckiest girl in the world, surrounded by the people you loved. You couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with Tom. 

Who would’ve thought you’d be getting married to your fake boyfriend?

THE END

Taglist

@jackiehollanderr // @alicethestral // @snowxbarryxendgame // @van-horn-dashner // @sltwins // @yeahimcrying // @ohhhotstan // @heathera101x // @xxnomercy // @bbyxk // @infamousmany // @zabdisamor // @starsholland // @kthemarsian // @jillanaholland // @lamesister // @madon566 // @prettylittlevampire1864 // @llamazarecoolaf // @ultrunning // @rachaeldonnaspiteri1 // @ilmondodiennie // @poorlittlesuperstar // @averyfosterthoughts // @crazyfreaker // @tbh–idk29 // @oh-mymendes // @stxfxniexreads // @fwess // @parkeroffline // @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven// @iwastornsincethestart // @claredolphinbear24 // @simnons​ 

Tethered - A One Shot [AO3] by @thetranquilteal

Being tethered can be both a blessing and a curse. It all depends on your point of view.

Modern Day Firefighter AU. One-shot. Inspired by personal feelings of anxiety and helplessness this Australian bushfire season. 

A/N: I had just settled myself down in front of my computer with the intention of editing Part II of The Gift when the news caught my notice. For many Australian’s like myself, bushfires are not anything new. Every year hazard reduction burns are conducted (weather permitting), friends and family who volunteer with local fire brigades are likely to get called out at unexpected times, we pay attention when the State Department issues a Total Fire Ban. But the news that day was worrisome. It was alarming. It was downright anxiety-inducing. A literal state of emergency. I looked down at the story on my screen and asked myself… What would Claire and Jamie do in this situation? The answer, I found, was easy: they would be right there in amongst it. Fighting. Healing. Doing anything and everything they could to help the cause. Then I began to wonder… what if Claire was in my situation? What if she, too, was a primary carer who had little ones relying upon her, who had little to no extended family to provide support, who couldn’t simply walk out the door - no matter how much she wanted to? After much thought, I came to understand that - just as there is strength in staying to defend and strength in leaving everything behind - there is strength in going in headfirst and strength in staying behind. 

That being tethered can be both a blessing and a curse. It all depends on your point of view.

She was tethered.

And all she could do was worry.

Claire's hand hovered over her phone sitting on the kitchen bench and she caught herself, purposefully pulling herself away and over to the sink where a pile of dishes were waiting. 

Reading the news would bring no relief, she knew, only reports of more people evacuating homes, an ever-increasing number of people missing and warnings of extreme weather forecast for the days ahead, all guaranteed to intensify the sense of helplessness that had been hovering over her ever since Jamie had left.

It was a feeling as hot and sticky as the heat itself - and one she had come to hate. 

In all her thirty years, she had seen and done many things. She had served with an army, graduated medical school and worked in the most adverse and trying conditions with Doctors Without Borders. She had been arrested during protests, been beaten, wounded, patronised and, at the worst of times, betrayed by those she relied on most. Most recently she had relocated to a new country, become a foster mother and survived childbirth twice.

Yet nothing compared to staying behind while Jamie went with the Rural Fire Service to the front line. 

It had to be the hardest thing she had ever done.

Even now, two weeks after Jamie had received the call, she was itching to move. To take action. Drop Fergus, Faith and Brianna off with trusted friends and head for the hills. Literally.

She looked down at her gloved hands, covered in soap suds and clenched them tightly before opening them again to look at them plainly. There was so much more they could be doing - should be doing - other than washing multicoloured milk stained cups and jam smeared plates. 

Respiratory problems, minor burns, heat exhaustion and dehydration, for example, were things she was well trained and equipped to deal with. But staying at home to look after the house and the children while her husband, friends and colleagues risked their lives during a state of emergency? Not so much.

Welcoming Fergus into their home had been both simple and easy. As an 8-year-old he had been happy to go wherever she and Jamie went, be it home or away, on a schedule or travelling across land and sea at only a moments notice. So much so, in fact, she had caught him attempting to stow away in one of the RFS trucks, adamant that he was not only old enough to go with the men but it would be beneficial for the team to have someone as small and fast as he around to help them.

Having Faith and then Brianna, however, had been something else entirely with periods of enforced bed rest, a near-death experience during birth and now being on maternity leave during a crisis challenging her in ways she had never expected. 

She let out a sigh and pulled the plug out of the sink, deciding to leave the now clean pile of dishes to the elements in favour of giving in and scanning her phone for updates. Again.

‘Too Late To Leave’ the latest headline read and, just like every other time she came across those words, a shiver ran through her leaving goosebumps along her skin in its wake. Her throat tightened at the thought of something happening to Jamie or any of his team members and tears welled up in her eyes, from frustration or despair she didn't know. 

Perhaps it was a mixture of both. 

Not a moment too soon, Faith bounded through the kitchen door, hands full of colourful flowers pulled from the garden. 

"For Mrs Cook!" Faith announced, holding out the bouquet proudly, her both smile wide and innocent, as Fergus joined them notably red-faced and out of breath.

"For Mrs Crook?" Claire corrected with a smile of her own as she reached for one of the clean cups behind her.

More than once she and Jamie had expressed to their foster son that caring for the little ones was not - and never would be - his responsibility yet the 11-year-old could always be found nearby actively looking after them, be it redirecting Faith’s attention when her antics turned dangerous or rocking Brianna’s crib when something startled her from slumber. 

The least she could do, she figured, was refuel him at any given opportunity. 

"Aye! Mrs Cook!" Faith repeated unfazed, her red curls bouncing eagerly.

"We haven't gone down to see Mrs Crook nor Mr Martin since the day before yesterday,” Fergus paused to gulp down half the cup and then wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “We were thinking to take them some iced tea -” 

“And flowers!”

“- and some flowers," Fergus added clearly, his eyes sparkling.

"That's a wonderful idea,” Claire agreed proudly. The days had been warm and at times the air so thick with smoke the normally busy roads were abandoned in favour of air-conditioned residences and she had made a point of regularly contacting their most at-risk neighbours just 'in case'. Such thoughtfulness from the children warmed a part of her, somewhere deep within her chest, that she hadn’t realised had grown cold. “I’ll get Brianna ready while you collect the fresh jug from the refrigerator."

On her way out of the kitchen she picked her phone up off the counter and slipped it into her back pocket before scooping Brianna up out of her bouncer and following the elder two children out the door.

"Come home to me, soldier," was the last thing she said to Jamie. 

She would have to trust that he would.

"Keep the bairns safe," was the last thing he said to Claire. 

He would have to trust that she would.

There was no point in worrying about things he had no control over, he knew. Not when the ash beneath his feet was like snow, covering every surface the eye could see, and flames in the distance reached heights he never imagined possible, producing smoke so thick it threatened the sky's existence. 

To consume the very air they breathed.

Jamie pulled up his visor and wiped the ever-present sweat off his forehead with a dirty sleeve.

With moderate temperatures and low winds, they had expected to spend the day reinforcing containment lines in preparation for the days ahead, a much-welcomed respite from the gruelling 16-hour shifts they had been partaking in so far. 

Just halfway to their assigned location in the National Park, however, they had received an urgent request for assistance in the Valley where a spot fire had taken the local crew by surprise. Together they had managed to protect all nearby buildings - including one he later found out was heritage-listed and an important part of local history - and were taking a moment to rest before getting back on the highway.

"Hey, Fraser! Catch!"

Jamie turned and caught the bottle of water in his gloved hands smoothly. He tucked it under his arm to take off his gloves before opening the bottle and lifting it to his dry, chapped lips. 

"Taing," he called back, his voice still scratchy but strong, and lifted the now mostly empty bottle in a show of gratitude.

Left to his own devices for a moment more, he took the opportunity to look around as his heart rate slowed to a more reasonable beat. Except for their fleet of three trucks and two utility vehicles, each strategically parked to form a line of defence, the road was barren and the lack of wildlife combined with the eerie orange glow filtering through haze left him with an unusual sense of unease. 

The very first time he had signed up to volunteer with the local brigade, he had been a young lad living in the Scottish Highlands, determined to follow in his late father’s footsteps, and in the years that followed learned from some of the toughest and most experienced senior members not only how to deal with the myriad of things they would undoubtedly encounter but what it truly meant to be a firefighter and part of a crew. 

For some years now, he had considered himself both highly skilled and well informed, worthy of the seniority bestowed upon him and prepared for anything that would fall across his path. Yet, in all his years fighting fires, he had never experienced a summer like this.

It wasn't just the challenging terrain, unprecedented severe weather conditions or the growing number of losses that settled upon his shoulders, as heavy as the equipment they carried on their backs, that was testing him - threatening to push him beyond his limits. 

It was also the first time the job had taken him so far away from his family. And for so long.

The first day or two had been easy with specialist reports, numerous briefings, allocation of equipment and the challenge of building a team under extreme conditions taking most if not all of his time and energy. But as they became familiar with the situation and settled into a somewhat regular routine, he found himself thinking of his family more and more. It was not uncommon for him to lay on a makeshift bed on the station floor in the wee hours of the morning, his body exhausted to the point of collapse but mind not yet following suit, and find himself wondering how they were or what they had been doing in his absence. 

Even on their busiest days, when they stood on the front line, feet planted firmly on the ground, sweat running down their backs and hearts racing in their chests, they were there, not so much in conscious thought but a subtle sensation. As though something was pulling on him, reminding him that their mere existence provided him with purpose.

A purpose to fight, yes, but also a much newer purpose to come home.

At the signal of their Crew Leader, he drained the last of his water and climbed up into the cab of the truck.

Right now, they were headed into the unknown, their uniforms blackened and scorched in places before they had even truly begun. He didn’t know what they would come to face in the next few hours, how long this beast would rage or much damage it would ultimately cause. 

All he knew for certain was that none of them were invincible, that what they were facing here - yesterday, today and tomorrow - was bigger and stronger than he and the crew would ever hope to be.

And he also knew he needn't worry.

He was tethered.

Mr Hollywood (Chapter 8)

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 1599

Chapter summary: Easter holidays and ignoring Bucky's show; all anyone can talk about.

Warnings: a little bit of angst :( no actually Bucky, but soon!

Previous: Chapter 7

Mr Hollywood Masterlist | Main Masterlist

*****

Waking up early on Monday, you take a few moments to just lay there, enjoying the quiet. You know today will be difficult, no matter how many promises of letting go and moving on you've made to yourself. Five more minutes avoiding the inevitable won't hurt.

Peggy had insisted you stayed until late afternoon yesterday, not wanting you to be alone too soon, but you couldn't intrude on her for too long. The short walk back to your house felt like a marathon as you past right by the house Bucky used to rent a flat in, and you couldn't stop yourself from glancing through the hedge and into the window that used to be his lounge. The 'for let' sign was up again, another neighbour moving on some place new, and you'd quickly slipped on your sunglasses, not wanting any pupils to see their teacher crying in the street. Reaching home, you were surprised to find your abandoned shopping placed neatly inside your porch. Looking a little scuffed and bashed, but nonetheless edible, you'd brought it inside as you wondered who you had to thank.

Dayton had called you yesterday evening, under the guise of just checking in, but you had a feeling it was more than that, and it didn't take long to get it out of him. Bucky had turned up at his place on Saturday night, after you'd seen him, and when Dayton had taken the opportunity to ask about what was happening between the two of you he'd taken off again.

“Didn't give me a chance to go after him. Straight back in his taxi and puff, gone.”

“Where's he now then?” You'd asked, worried despite everything. You can't just switch your feelings off overnight.

“On his way back to America, according to one of his cast mates. Buck's not answering my calls.”

“I'm so sorry.”

“Not your fault, sweetheart.”

“What if it is!” You'd exclaimed. “What if I've caused a wedge between you and him? Just because he hates me shouldn't mean he-”

Dayton interrupted, bewildered. “Whoa, what? Hates you? What's going on?”

Trying to summarise Saturdays events, the tears made an appearance again. He was just as astounded and angry as Peggy was, sure you must have heard Bucky wrong, but you know what he said.

You don't think you'll ever forget it.

“Don't you worry about it, I'll find out what's going on.” Dayton had hung up with a promise.

Pulled back from your reminiscing by your alarm, you sigh and slide out of bed, hoping to get this day over as quickly and painlessly as possible.

*****

Easter is late this year, a blessing as it means you only have to make it through a short week before the school breaks for a fortnight. Even three and a half days feel like forever, especially as the upset caused by seeing Bucky again, and everything that came with it, has you running on hardly any sleep.

His television show has clearly wrapped, the promotion in full swing, and all the children at school can talk about is the trailer. You haven't been able to bring yourself to watch it yet, which is why it comes as such a shock during lunch break on Tuesday when a double decker bus rolls past the front gates, his image plastered on the side, two times larger than life. You vaguely recognise the actor he's standing beside, but you're too dazed to think straight.

Noticing your frozen figure staring after the bus, Peggy comes across to stand with you, a comforting hand on your arm as you turn to her open mouthed.

“Are you okay Y/N?”

You spin back to the playground where all the children who also saw the advert are straining to see it again. “Have you watched the trailer?”

“Do you want me to say no?”

“I want you to be honest.”

“Then yes. It actually looks quite good.”

“Of course it does,” You mutter bitterly.

“Sam Wilson is always great.”

You nod in agreement. No wonder Bucky had been so excited to get this role, there weren't many actors he placed higher than Sam Wilson, and getting to work with him was probably a dream come true.

It's just a shame that dream didn't involve you.

*****

By the time Thursday afternoon arrives you feel like you need the two weeks off just to sleep. A few pencils were snapped when you suddenly remembered Bucky's words to you but other than that, you managed to get through to the end of term with no major break downs.

The holiday comes at a good time weather wise too, and you bask in the sun with the chickens for most of the first weekend. You're happy the hens got to enjoy a few full days of freedom in the garden, as when you open their coop the next morning, little Dot isn't moving.

It is obvious she's gone.

Moving her away from the others as you find the spade to dig her a final resting place, you wipe your eyes on your sleeve. She was always Bucky's favourite, smaller than the others and picked on more because of it, he made sure she never missed out on treats.

Replacing the earth after you bury her in a shady spot under the willow, you find a tall, pretty daisy to plant in loose soil over her, before slumping down on to the bench nearby, exhausted both physically and mentally. Most people laughed when you said you had such pets, not understanding how a farm animal could be as interesting and rewarding as a more conventional companion, but then they met them and understood your love. It's always hard when you lose one, harder still when the person you long to speak to about it has made it clear he doesn't want you in his life any more.

When Sophia comes to stay during the second week she brings Benjamin, and flowers in sympathy for your loss. She gets it. Helping her unpack her weekend bag, you listen to her chatter away about her plans for the nursery, and how they're trying to squeeze one last holiday in before they become a family of four.

Dayton's on a trip back home, very last minute, and he'd asked you if you minded keeping Sophia company for the couple of days he's away. He didn't say why he's going back to the USA but you have an idea, it would be too much of a coincidence so soon after Bucky disappeared from his driveway after your confrontation. Regardless of your own feelings that it would be pointless to try and talk him round, you wish him luck in his quest.

She knows about the current situation surrounding you and Bucky, but ever the optimist, she's convinced that it's nothing more than a silly argument that will be resolved in a few weeks. You don't have the heart to tell her otherwise. Instead, you busy yourself with keeping Sophia and Benjamin fed, watered and entertained, playing the perfect host to hide your pain.

*****

School holidays used to drag on forever when you were a child, however now you work there it feels like you blink and it's over. You're not too disappointed to be back, however, as the summer term is the most enjoyable in your experience, the lighter evenings meaning you don't feel so confined in your home after you finish for the day, and the children seem more happy and carefree in the warmer weather.

There were also more dates in the calender this time of year, it'll be sports day again before long, but first, the May Day celebrations. You hadn't been involved in the organisation of this years fête, and as you stare at the poster and the announcement of the 'extra special star guest', you really wish you had. Ripping the flyer off the wall, you march to Peggy's office, not bothering to knock before you burst in so it's lucky she's alone.

“What the hell is this?”

“I could ask you the same, Y/N.” She stands from her desk, moving to close the door behind you. “You can't just charge in here unannounced. We've got to at least pretend to be professional.”

She's joking but you're not laughing, shoving the offending piece of paper into her hands, causing her smile to slip.

“Ah.”

“Ah, indeed. Why the hell didn't you tell me he was coming?” You pace as you rant. “Why the hell is he coming? What has he got to do with anything! And you must have some sort of input in this, why did you let it happen?”

“I'm sorry Y/N. What was I meant to do?”

“Stop it!”

“Without airing yours and his private lives, there's nothing I could’ve done!”

She's right. Huffing in frustration, you hold your tongue. You can't afford to lose two friends in less than half a year, and you know Peggy hasn't done this on purpose, now you think about it rationally Bucky being there would bring a lot of attention to the schools humble spring fête. You can no longer go on any website, or watch TV, without seeing his face. Whatever the show is about you're not sure, as you still haven't got the strength to watch any of the dozens of videos hanging around, but it's clear it's going to be the next big sensation. That Bucky is going to be the next big sensation.

You guess you're going to have to suck it up and ignore your heartache, just for one day.

*****

A/n: lot's of Bucky in the next chapter, I promise! And maybe an explanation or two...

As always, thank you for reading!! Feedback is very welcome if you would like :D

Chapter 9

J.B.B. (2)

Bucky x Reader Fluff

Warnings: Blood, broken jaws, violence.

Wordcount: A lot. A. Lot. But I had fun writing it so I don’t regret it.

A/N: Let me know how you find the chapter so I can give it a better direction as the story follows Bucky’s post-Hydra arc

MASTERLIST

^J.B.B., ^Part 2, ^Part 3, ^Part 4, ^Part 5, ^Part 6, *Part 7, !Part 8, ^Part 9, ^Part 10, !Part 11, ^Part 12, Part 13

"John Watson. Channel your inner John Watson." You persuaded yourself as you punished the slings of your bag with one hand, making it stick to your back higher than where it usually hung while tightening your other hand around your bottle. "Wait, no. That idiot likes danger. You're supposed to run away from it. God! You stupid girl!" The morning sun was a welcoming sight in the cool winter breeze that would leave cracks in your cheeks if you did not have a good layer of moisturizer slathered on you. But even this cold disturbed air couldn't cool down the heat rising at the back of your neck as you walked closer to the park. The City Park was a five-minute walk away from where you lived. Though it was one of the many parks inside the city, the locals preferred calling it City Park, it is the first to initially exist as a playground for children before the city was modelled. The park covered enough acres to have its own mini forest inside it. You would find it alive with people or their pets at any time of the day you went there. Even at night, one would find couples, students, tourists lost in their own world here- something you had discovered on one of your long walks during the days you would not be visited by slumber. This place had become your bubble of solitude with the starry skies for a roof. "Morning Y/N!" A voice called from behind you. You immediately recognised the voice, the tension in your shoulders dropping a little. "Kalisha! Morning!" Your voice almost cracked as you greeted the patrol officer you had befriended during one of your night outs in the Park. The green-eyed woman, who's African roots reflected through her beauty, would always greet you with a huge smile and kindness in her eyes. She was the same woman who had almost mistaken you for a homeless person lying on the park bench on your first encounter and had cautioned to go away until she saw your face and the tears that had left their marks on your cheeks. That had been one long night where the officer had sat down and listened to whatever you had to say and even bought you hot tea to help soothe your nerves after the breakdown you had. "Headed to work?" She asked, her braided brown hair neatly tied in a bun at the back. "Yes, ma'am," you smiled back before adding, "I just have to meet...someone here before going to work." Kalisha raised a brow at you as her open smile shifted into a smirk. "By someone you mean that guy?" She said as she pointed to a figure standing near the park pond under a tree. The familiar brown shirt, black trousers, black jacket and black cap brought back yesterday's events, making her neck and arms ache at the thought of his arms around you; his body heat emanating behind you, making your stomach weak. You could see him steal glances at you, clearly aware of the woman in uniform standing by your side. "How did you..." Your voice trailed off as you noticed a red ball come to rest by his feet, making him flinch lightly. "I know a face out of place when I see one, Y/N." You couldn't decide whether she was stating a fact or giving you words of caution as your eyes followed the movements of the man in front of you. He picked up the ball carefully and gave it to the golden-haired boy that came running towards him. The little one's high pitched, wide-grinned 'thank you' made the man smile involuntary- making your chest feel something fuzzy in turn. The smile vanished when his eyes turned back to the two of you. He couldn't decide between crossed his arms, putting on the hips of leaning against the tree as he waited for you, making you smile involuntarily. "Should I come with you?" Kalisha brought you back to where you stood. "Huh? Uhh...no. I'm good, thanks Kalisha." you confirmed as you took one lungful of air before walking towards him. "I'll be around if you need me." Kalisha announced, less for you and more for the man in front of her as she eyed him like a cat before walking away. The man took off his cap as you approached him, revealing his face to you for the first time. You confessed to yourself of not having seen such wondrous, soft eyes paired with a hint of a smile on pink lips surrounded by an uneven stubble. The man himself, held his breath for a moment as he saw you come towards him, tucking your hair-that was being teased by the breeze- behind your ear revealing the shimmer of your eyes in the morning sun. "Hi," you felt your voice speak as you finally stood before him, having to look up a little. "Hi," he answered, letting his lungs breathe easy for the first time as he brought forward his right hand. "I'm James." James. You let it run through your mind with the image of the man standing in front of you. "Hello, James. I-I'm Y/N." "Nice to meet you, Miss...uhh...Y/N." You stood there awkwardly smiling at each other till James offered you to sit on the bench behind you, cursing himself internally for not thinking about it earlier. The bench was big enough to accommodate the two of you. You sat down, trying to shift as much as you could to one corner, allowing him to sit beside you. And as he did, a gentle breeze blew towards you, bringing with it the familiar scent. James' scent. Focus, you scolded yourself. James couldn't help but notice the bags under your eyes that you tried to hide under your glasses. He noticed your eyes carry a familiar look behind them- the same look he would see in the mirror as he would wake up from a nightmare, never getting the sleep he craved- thinking to himself when was the last time he met someone who'd been so sleep deprived as to carry the same pain in their eyes as a monster like him. "I'm sorry about last night ma'am," his voice came out of nowhere. "I meant no harm." You really had no idea how to respond to that, your fingers digging into your coat in your lap as you still weighed the option of trusting this man. "Thank you for um...my Tupperware." you finally blurted out, finally looking at him and noticing something you hadn't yet. "Is that...?" You didn't finish your question, making James turn his head towards you only to find your fingers coming for the nape of his neck, making him flinch hard on your touch. "Sorry." You jumped, retrieving your fingers, screaming on the inside of touching someone without their permission. "It looks like a deep scratch. Oh my...did Panther do this to you?" "Who?" He turned to look at you, brows furrowed in confusion, sending a flutter down your spine for some fucking reason. "Right. Sorry. The black cat. He scratches. He's a scratcher." James brought his long pale fingers to the spot you'd just lit up, running them over the wound before running them through his long hair, forcing them to cover it. "It's fine. It'll heal quickly." You tried to hide the embarrassment burning on your cheeks with your own hair before turning to your bag. "I brought your journal. I didn't want it to land somewhere it wasn't supposed to be, that's why I took it with me," You explained handing it over from your tiny looking hands into his giant ones. "I swear I didn't read it," you assured James, whose eyes turned a shade lighter on seeing his lost treasure. "I know," he replied like a reflex action, making you raise your brows in question. "You wouldn't be sitting here if you'd read the all the wacky stuff I've spewed in there." He smiled nervously, lowering his head in what you thought was his way of embarrassment. "Oh good!" You proclaimed to yourself out loud, "I'm not the only one who thinks like that about their journal." James looked at you in confused surprise seeing you smile for the first time. He was not sure what emotion this warm uneasiness in his chest was supposed to be categorized under. "I'm...sorry for stabbing you." You finally confessed. "I didn't think twice ab-" You saw him chuckle, the warmth reaching his sparkling eyes. "It's fine. No harm was done. I uh...I deserved that. In fact, it was very brave of you." He didn't miss the surprise in your eyes. "Really?" Not believing that you could be brave. "Yes," he nodded as he looked at you with a hint of pride before reaching inside his jacket and taking out a roll of worn out leather. "Here," he brought it towards you, "this is for you." You hesitantly took the leather in your hands, fearing it to be some unreasonable gift- the inexpensive types you had gotten in the past that were of no value to you. You carefully undid the single string of rope keeping the leather rolled up and opened it, letting out a light gasp at what lay in front of you. "I accidentally broke your knife yesterday. So, I tried to find something similar but more sturdy for you." The knife in front of you was definitely bigger than the one you had but James was right- that sharp little thing wasn't sturdy. This, on the other hand, had tiny teeth on one side and a sharp blade on the other, resting inside a dark heavy wood that you weren't sure about. "Oh!" Words were failing you right now. The person you had literally stabbed last night, was gifting you a dangerous knife. Who does that?! "Thank you. I don't know what to say," you grazed your fingers over the metal, careful not to touch the edges, "I've never used-I-I mean for defence, of course, anything like this before." "I'm sure your friend can teach you," he acknowledged, casually pointing towards Kalisha, who'd been stealing glances at the two of you from behind the fountain. You couldn't help the smile forming on your face, bringing your fingers to press your lips and suppress as much of it as you could, not realising Bucky followed your every movement even the one were inviting unvisited shivers inside him. The vibration of your phone in your pocket made you sit straight. You looked at the screen to see Gina's name. "I should go," you apologised, turning the vibrations silent, as you got up. He straightened up as we, standing to his full height again, without even a moment's hesitation. "Thank you for the journal, ma'am. And I apologise again for the trouble I caused you." His words came out like a soft tune to your ears. You gathered your bag and coat in your hands. "It's okay, James," your lips vibrating at his name, "I'm sorry too. And thank you for the...uh...knife. Have a nice day." "You too." He answered, his voice wavering a little as he saw you leave, wrapping your coat around you as you went, almost missing the light bruises on your arm where he had held you last night. The warm uneasiness vanished, giving way to a small stabbing pain in his chest. He saw Kalisha leave too but not before she threw a suspicion-filled glance at him. Bucky stood there for a moment, hands tight around his journal, lost in the conflicting thought of him making you smile and him hurting you where the bruises now marked your arm. A regret filled breath left his mouth as he was about to leave when was stopped short, letting out a tiny groan of an inevitable circumstance about to come his way.

The walk towards your workplace was languid one today. You had ample amount of time to get to the bookshop-cum-library and the thoughts running through your head really needed to be organised before you could dutifully submerge yourself in work. James. That name was swirling around in your mind like a silent stream in the mountains meeting a cluster of rocks. Your mind tried to reason with this cold wave in your heart, building up low-key pros and cons list somewhere to see if it was alright to think about him. All the possibilities were laid out by your brain. Stalker, random thug, mafia's muscle, military-man, hitman, black ops, assassin- getting worse by the minute to pull out any tiny thread that would make him a danger for knowing where you lived. You really were scared for a moment before a realisation hit you- what's the worse he could do to you? Kill you? Yeah. And that won't be the worst thing you would have gone through. "Excuse me, miss," a voice next to you brought you back to the sidewalk of the tall buildings rising on the sides. "Could you tell me where this address is?" You took the small note from a pair of wrinkled fingers and read the address. "Oh I know this building." you looked up at the person asking for directions, "it is-" The face in front of you sent a chill down your spine as you tried to gather your nerves amongst the adrenaline rush building inside you. The man, who was being referred to as the 'boss' last night, stood in front of you with a devilish smile on his face. You backed away from him an instant only to run into his subordinate behind you, whose broken-toothed smile scared you more than it should have. You couldn't find your voice to scream for help and so, ran into the only exit you saw- a small alleyway between the two buildings standing by you. Cursing yourself, you reached for the knife inside your coat as you ran, swerving by the garbage bins. You could hear their footsteps rushing behind you despite the loud throbbing of your veins all over your body. "Hans! Get her!" You ran faster at that man's command, looking back at him getting closing the distance between you, only to run into the hurdle you missed in front of you. A pair of hands grabbed the life out of your arms, making you wince. But before any voice could escape into the cold quote stench-filled air of the alley, you were gagged from behind. The torturous arms were that of a six feet five building of a man, ripped everywhere; dead eyes carrying scars all over his face. "Put her in the van," the boss man commanded. As soon as the giant let go of one of your arms to push you towards the white van parked ahead, you got the knife out and went for his leg. His grunt nearly turned into a scream as you brought out the knife and swung it out towards the slim faced subordinate 'John', catching his ear and cheek. The arm that was still in the giant's grasp felt a jolt of pain as the strength in his hands tried to crush it. You winced as you turned towards him with the knife that he easily blocked, doing the same to your wrist until you let go of the one thing that you were holding on to for help. "Get this bitch inside," the boss hissed before turning to the front of the van. The giant picked you up by your hair and the bruised arm before throwing you on the vehicle's floor.

"You really should look around before crossing streets, Missy. You never know who's watching you run out of abandoned buildings at night." Your bloodshot eyes had been blurring and clearing themselves time and again for about an hour now. The cheek that had been hit by the 'boss' to stop you from resisting them pounded with pain. The cable ties dug through your wrists as they ran around the armrests of an old wooden chair they'd brought out from somewhere in the building opposite your house. They'd brought you back to this place. It was obvious to you what they were planning; you were soon going to accompany the poor fellow that was lying in the basement inside some body bag. Great, you thought to yourself, the one time I decide I wouldn't really care if I die today and some force somewhere moulds that specific thought into a reality. How convenient. Your phone vibrated on the table beside you where your blood smeared knife lay. The boss picked it up to show you the name on the screen. Gina. "I'll just text her you're busy. Is that okay sweetheart?" You felt your stomach nearly regurgitate at his cooing voiced smacking your ears with poison. You didn't look at him as he swiped away with the default text. "Boss what are we waiting for. Just kill this stupid slut already," John announced as he winced while covering his slashed side with a handkerchief. Your lips found a smile building behind the gag around them on seeing your handiwork on John's face. "Shut up, John," Boss snapped, taking your knife in a handkerchief and wiping it clean. You gulped at the flawless shining steel glistened in your eye, flashing all the Law & Order episodes that had anything to do with a knife. Two men entered the room and stood by the door with identical bags, making your heart race at the thought of your limp body inside them. Fuck. Your hands and feet wriggled inside the cable ties, cutting through at every harsh graze as the blood rushed to your brain to let the gravity of the situation seep in. "Did you get them?" the boss asked without taking his eyes off your knife, making of the new men open up their bag and produce another bag that he carefully placed on the table and unrolled. Your breathing grew erratic at the site of medical grade knives, forceps, syringes, cutters and slicers. This was worse than the Law & Order episode you had running in your mind. So much worse. "Now," the boss finally turned towards you with your knife pointed at your vein in the wrist, grazing it slightly with cold metal, while still covering the handle in his handkerchief, "answer my question sweetheart. Hmm?" Your eyes stung as the sweat running down your forehead entered and mixed with the tears in them. "Was anyone else here with you last night?" James. Your mind called out the name like a final prayer. You shook your head. "Good," he nodded, "good. I believe you." "Anyone know what happened here?" You shook your head again. "Does...Gina know?" Your lungs ached at the thought of Gina being heard. You shook your head as a whimper left your mouth. "Good. So you are the only one who was present here last night." You nodded, letting the tears fall down quickly. "Well, that was easy." He announced to the room before coming behind you as he carefully angled the knife on your dominant wrist. "I promise," he whispered into your ear, placing the tip where the vein was visible, "this will be quick." Oh for fuck's sake, you prayed in your head as you closed your eyes, if there is some stupid force looking out for you, please do something. "Here we go." Clank, clank, clatter. You jumped at the sound. So did everyone in the room, guns and knives drawn out. "Must be the cats," John mentioned casually, still pointing the gun at the door. Something had fallen down from an upper storey near the foot of the stairs. "Smith." The boss commanded, still standing behind you. You saw Smith walk out of the room for a moment, kneel down for something and come back with something shiny in his hand. You recognised it the moment he brought it forward to show to his boss. You weren't able to breathe as you tried to make sense of what was going on. "A broken knife? Who is this son of a bitch?" "I'll go take care of it." Smith's silent footsteps creaked the stair boards till they vanished two floors above. There was dead silence. All five of you waited with unspoken tension to hear something. Anything. A loud thud came from the entrance as Smith's body landed on the foot of the stairs, his neck twisted at an unruly angle, gazing into the room. Your mind went into a spiral of curses as the men around you rattled and took positions, aiming for the entrance, forgetting about you all together. The boss went to the table leaving your knife and picking up his gun. The giant placed himself with the wall, to land a surprise attack on whoever was out there while John stood aiming his gun at the door and the third guy did the same while shielding the boss. Your arms were shaking with fear as the silence grew louder around you. A creak of the stair boards alerted everyone, causing a reflex action inside you, making you wince through your gag to alert whoever was out there until a cold barrel rested on your temple, the boss shushing you with his finger to his pale lips. The creaks grew closer, making the giant loaded his firearm carefully, ending with a click. Silence. The wall around him broke as an arms came for his throat and dragged him back through the hole. Moments later the familiar figure in brown jacket and black trousers entered the room throwing the giant's gun right into John's forehead with uncomfortable ease, knocking him over as he blocked a shot aimed for him with his gloved hand and went on to throw the man at his left into the wall behind you, tearing it apart as well.

"Jbss," you mumbled through the gag, half relieved, half terrified. His eyes settled on you as his gloved hand moved on its own in front of his face to shield him from the endless silenced shots aimed at him by the boss, who kept moving closer to him to get a better shot. "Jbss nnhh!" You tried to warn him, as the boss drew closer to him, only to have the gun locked into his hand as it crunched in between his palm like a soda can. Bucky's eyes never left you. He kept moving closer to you despite your warnings, a fire igniting inside him on the fresh bruise he saw forming around your cheek. "Who did this?" He asked, his voice controlled but his eyes giving the building rage away. You saw his hand come forward towards your throbbing cheek, before pausing at a safe distance. Your eyes met his again before going towards the boss, who was recklessly trying to reload his gun. Bucky did not waste any time. He picked up an incision tool, driving it straight into the boss' shoulder as he stuffed his mouth with a rag and punching him just where it had hurt you. The latter screamed his soul into the rag as his gun fell from his hand. From where you sat, it looked like he had paralysed the man. He was quick to cut your hand ties with your knife and removing the gag from your mouth, instructing you to take a mouthful of air. "Breathe, Y/N. Brea-" A grunt left his mouth as John stabbed him in the upper back. Leaving the knife in your lap, he landed his elbow into John's face, turned and landed a punch into his jaw. You got your feet free and shoved yourself onto the man who had come out of the broken wall and was aiming a knife at Bucky. The man, in turn, shoved you down, his knife aimed at your chest before you felt yourself sliding away, slashing your knife through his calf muscles as Bucky brought you to himself, before attacking the man- who was now throwing curses at you- in his stomach and liver with perfect precision and ease before punching his voice box. "Who the fuck are ya?" The boss finally stood up taking the gag out of his mouth, his shoulder drenched in his blood. You kicked the gun away from the man as you backed away from him, your cheek burning just by looking at him. Bucky didn't utter a word, his breathing controlled and silent as he stepped in between you and the man, his long hair nearly masking his face. He walked towards the boss, startling him for a moment before he took out the man's phone from his pocket and brought it towards him. "Call your cleaning crew and tell them to clean up this mess." There was hesitation in the man's eyes for a moment before he took his phone and did what Bucky said. "How long before they arrive?" "Ten minutes." "Good," Bucky acknowledged before punching the man unconscious. You were pretty sure he was dead already.

"We should get out of here." Bucky stated as he picked up your phone, bag and coat and handed it to you. "Come over to my place," you responded without missing a beat. "Wh-" "You are in no condition to go around without grabbing attention to yourself. And I know for a fact you don't have a place to stay right now." Bucky didn't negate your words. "Come on," you said before stopping with a sudden jolt, "wait" confusing him for a moment. "Take off your jacket." He looked at you with questionable eyes. "Please, James, just trust me." And he did. You took his blood-spattered jacket and gave him your black coat to put on. "Glove." You gave him your pair out of your bag, "Yours is ripped. I can see the metal." Bucky couldn't help but be surprised at how your mind was working through the shock right now. You unfolded your green shirt's cuffs to cover your bloodied wrists and unfolded your jeans into your boots to hide your ankles. Taking your belongings, and Bucky by the arm, you moved out of the building. You crossed the street, him following behind you, both of your trying to be as low-key as possible. You thanked all the Gods when no one greeted you at the entrance, allowing you to quickly move toward the elevator. Ding. "Y/N!" Your heart came up to your throat as Micheal- Mr Kline's husband- stood in front of you in the elevator. "Hi, Michael!" Your voice trying to sound the normal enthusiastic self as you dragged Bucky inside the elevator with you, making Michael bring up so many questions in his mind. "What the hell happened?!" The glass walls of the elevator showed you your dirty clothes and coloured cheek while the only scratch visible on Bucky was the one left by Panther. "R-Rugby." "What?!" "We had a-a rugby match today. My friends and I. I took a pretty hard hit to my face. It isn't as bad as it looks, but uh...everyone was really worried about me. So...my friend... James brought me home." You wrapped your hands lightly around his arm to display some, if not overly, casual affection between the two of you. James nodded at Michael, you gave back a relieved nod. "Be careful honey." "I will."

The elevator door shut back up, leaving the two of you to breathe again. "Fuck." You rubbed your eyes under your glasses not believing you lied so easily to one of the two people who considered you as their daughter. The elevator moved slower than its usual pace making you tense up on the thought of meeting someone else on the way before Bucky's face in the mirrored wall distracted you. "How did you find me?" Bucky looked back at your reflection trying to form some words before giving up and bringing forward something in his hand that was away from you. "You forgot your bottle at the Park. I'd come here thinking I'd leave it at the reception but those suspicious looking goons distracted me." Your brows shot up in surprise as your eyes tried their best not fall out, the proceeding silence between the two of you making Bucky worry.

A tiny ‘huh’ burnt your voice box before you shut your mouth. No sooner a snicker left the back of your throat before it turned into a laugh, taking him by surprise. "All those people back there are messed up because of my bottle." You laughed again. Bucky joined you this time.

Let me know how it was before heading over to Part 3 :)

J.B.B., ^Part 2, ^Part 3, ^Part 4, ^Part 5, ^Part 6, *Part 7, !Part 8, ^Part 9, ^Part 10, !Part 11, ^Part 12, Part 13

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@lost-and-wandering-alone @imsunnysu @vxidnik @sebbies @nilokoniloki @unknownuserhasjoined

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@greenarrowhead @magiclolipopqueen @choke-me-sweet-pea @classy-swiftt @smexylemony @hazzastyles2471 @lokis-lady-death @lokixme

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Rewind.

Written by: @thegirlfromoverthepond

Prompt 8: Start your story at the end (like the backwards Seinfeld episode “The Betrayal” about a wedding in India) and reveal how it began at the end. [submitted by @567inpanem​​]

Thank you @javistg and @xerxia31 for hosting this amazing fic exchange :) it’s always been a great opportunity to start wirting different things … I still remember the first fic I posted for the exchange :)

Thank you for the prompt, @567inpanem, I hope you’re not disappointed in what I wrote. (I’ve never watched Seinfeld ;) )

And again thank you to @xerxia31 for betaing this story so well. Your help made this story much better.

I’m dying. I can feel it. Life leaves my body, finger by toe. My heart will soon stop, and I’ll finally join him. These last two years have been too difficult, too sad. Too empty.

I know they’re gathered downstairs. I can hear them all. Children, grandchildren. I’m glad I’ve met them. I’m happy we made them.

The cold is taking more and more space inside of me. I’m not strong enough anymore.

I don’t want to fight it.

Maybe, in death, I’ll hold his hand again. Maybe we’ll sit in the Meadow, watch our family live and laugh. Maybe he’ll whisper in my ear, like he used to when we were younger.

Or maybe we’ll just look at each other.

The cold is going to take me away …. I turn my head, and I see him looking at me, from the old armchair near the bed.

He extends his hand, I think he wants me to come with him ..

I take his hand. The cold is everywhere.

I’m dying.

———-

I never thought there would be something scarier than giving birth. Or surviving a war and two Hunger Games.

But there’s something even worse than suffering.

It’s seeing someone you love deeply in pain.

Peeta holds my hand the whole time. I can see the distress in his eyes - so much like when I gave birth to Charlotte and Aiden. This time, though, it’s different.

Because it’s our little princess who is delivering, bringing her own child into this world.

Our little daughter, who once was a carefree kid, laughing and playing in the Meadow. Who grew up to be the kindest of big sisters, caring so much for others that her becoming a doctor was as natural as breathing.

And now, after a few years in a happy union, she’s about to give birth.

And we’re freaking out.

Not because we’re becoming grandparents.

But because she’s going to become a mother.

I exchange a look with Peeta, which says it all. We’re in this together. Always.

We only break eye contact when we hear the waiting room door open.

Our son-in-law, eyes sparkling in what would have been a ridiculous outfit if we weren’t too distracted to notice it (pink scrubs never look good on men) enters, announcing that the baby is here.

A girl, named Lily.

I start crying at the news.

—–

He dies on a beautiful summer day.

For years, summers meant death and dread for him. Now, they mean afternoons spent in his backyard or ours, watching Charlotte and Aiden play with the animals we have. Our little farm, expanding with each passing year, along with his neverending flock of geese. Why he had so much, he never said.

He lived a tough life, full of tears, full of pain, full of loneliness.

We hope he had a happy ending, full of laughter, full of joy, with his adopted family.

Charlotte cries for days over the loss of her Grandpa.

—-

Of course, Peeta agrees before I can say anything.

Just like every other time.

How I find myself with a cat, chicken, rabbits and a goat is beyond me.

But they make the children happy. Which makes Peeta happy.

Seeing my loved ones happy makes me happy too.

Hearing Haymitch complain about them is a bonus.

–

Having two kids makes everything different.

Only one thing still amazes me.

Love can’t be divided.

It multiplies.

—

Charlotte comes into the world screaming.

It took me a long time to agree to having a child, but I finally caved. Our world has changed, to something I never dreamt of.

I never dreamt of having children before, but if the world can change, so can I.

Charlotte has my hair, and what I hope will be her father’s eyes.

I’m happy I brought her into our lives. I feel at peace.

Haymitch has even quit drinking. I think he’s found his peace, too.

—-

It’s a quiet morning and I’m feeling lazy. Peeta is asleep next to me, his arm resting on my belly.

He’s protective, my Peeta. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to wake up yet.

I just want to bathe in his warmth.

I turn on my side, feel his hand slide to my back. I find my place on his chest.

I close my eyes.

I’m happy.

–

It’s always harder on the anniversary of her death.

The first years, it felt like I was dying inside.

Today marks the tenth anniversary. Prim would be 24. She would be married. She would be worrying about her children’s first reaping.

No mother will ever again have to worry about her children being sent to death.

Ever.

It helps with the pain. Time soothes all wounds, Peeta says.

He’s right.

I still have bad days, but they are few and far between.

Maybe, in the end, it was worth it?

—

The first day is hard on Peeta. Opening a bakery that bears his family name in view of everybody, in front of the cameras, reminds him too much of what he has lost. What he’ll never have again.

His family.

His parents and brothers.

I try to be as supportive as I can, even helping with the front counter. It’s like people have come from all over the country to be part of the opening. But after a few minutes of people asking me more about our life as a couple rather than about bread, I let the staff we’ve hired manage the sales.

I can feel it’s a tough day for Peeta, I can feel it in my bones.

I find him sitting on the steps of the back door, his gaze lost in the sky.

I know he misses them.

I know I’m nothing like they ever were to him.

I just know they are his past, when I can be his future.

I hug him.

We watch the sunset, watch the birds fly by.

We wait until he’s ready. Until the tears are dried.

Then we go home, hand in hand.

————

It happens because it’s where all the kissing and exploring leads us. It’s not a date we’ve chosen, it’s no particular day, it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

Our hands wander a little more than usual. Mine like to trace his muscles, the firm lines that reappeared when he started making bread again. Lifting sacks of flour did his body good.

HeI can hear soft moans softly as my fingers linger on his chest, under his shirt. It’s like he’s as sensitive to my touch as I am when his hands are on me.

I don’t know why today I feel bolder than usual. my mouth wants to taste his, or linger on his jaw, feel his pulse under my lips when they find his neck. Over and over again.

I thought I knew what hunger was until I hear his moans - they do something to me, break all the barriers.

They set me free.

He sets me free.

We find ourselves more adventurous than ever. Clothes are thrown away, hands wander again and again, touches become more intimate… until we’re finally one.

It’s short, it’s rushed.

But we have a lot of time to practice.

So we practice.

—-

He’s back.

He came back.

I don’t know why.

He’s back.

Yesterday, he planted primroses around my house.

Primroses.

He made her come back.

Even when she couldn’t.

She’s everywhere now.

In every flower that will bloom.

In every whisper of the leaves.

She’s back here.

With me.

He brought her back.

He brought me back.

My boy with the bread.

He saved me.

Again.

—-

I hate the sun. It’s scorching.

Even through the windows.

I haven’t been outside in days.

Or weeks.

It’s not important.

I just want to die.

Everyone left me.

Finnick died for me. He should have lived.

Mother - she couldn’t even look me in the eye. She’s in Four, I think.

I don’t care.

Not anymore.

Gale- I can’t even think about him.

Prim. My sweet little sister. She wasn’t supposed to die.

Or maybe she was. Maybe it was her destiny all along.

Peeta - they keep him in the Capitol. I guess he’ll never come back to me.

I’m nothing but scars and pain.

I’m worthless.

—-

It’s true, what they say.

When you die, you see your whole life passing in front of your eyes.

Mine has been so long… I was supposed to die at sixteen.

I never expected to survive the Hunger Games, much less a second one. Or a war.

I never thought I’d be one to believe in love.

Yet, I did.

For every loss, every pain I felt, happiness came my way. First with my boy with the bread, so many years ago. Then with my fellow tribute. Or the man I loved with all my heart. The one who held my hand when our children were born. The man who shared my life, through everything.

He was my past. He became my present.

Now we have all of eternity.

Together.

Always.

Goodbye, Grandma

My grandma passed away yesterday morning. Even though we knew it was coming, it is still hard.  Tuesday around 3:50 am, I awoke suddenly and couldn’t quite get back to sleep until 4:30. Come to find out, the end started around four and she was gone around 4:20.  It’s amazing how souls are so connected that we can feel the loss happening at the exact moment it occurs.  The older I get, I am made more aware of how similar my grandma and I are.  I’m proud to have inherited so many of her quirky traits and have come to embrace them.  In fact, I see them as a tribute to the impact she had on my life.  So, in honor of the life my grandma lived, here are the 25 things she has taught me:

1.     Bladder problems ARE a joking matter.  My grandma was a hot mess, God love her. Whether it was peeing her pants in an elevator in front of a bunch of strangers or never leaving a restaurant without a huge stain on her top, she always managed to leave a trail.  Most people would cry or die of embarrassment, but she’d just hee-haw, laughing so hard she’d likely pee again.  She passed on her small bladder and the ability to find humor in the embarrassment to me, which has provided my friends with endless counts of entertaining stories. College friends still text from time to time, “Remember when Adam Harris finally asked you to hang out and you had to say no because you’d just peed on your long sweater and had to shower and change?”  Yes, yes, I remember.  

2.     If you want it, get it.  She always knew what she wanted and wasted no time in purchasing it.  I remember, around age ten, her saying how much she wanted a bird feeder.  I went home and made one out of an old milk carton.  When I showed up to proudly give it to her, only two days later, there in her front yard was a brand new gorgeous wooden one.    

3.     Eat it and get it over with.  My grandma was notorious for eating an entire watermelon in the course of an afternoon.  This also contributed to her bladder problems.  Once, my sister went to take a nap at her house.  While drifting in and out, she caught a whiff of the sweet smell of a butter braid (a very large pastry you’d take to a party).  When she awoke excited for dessert, she went out to discover my grandma had de-thawed it, cooked it, and ate 99% of it in the course of two hours.  To this day, whenever I make any dessert-I eat 99% of it while it’s still hot.  We all know what’s going to happen so just get it over with already.

4.     If it annoys you, get rid of it-no matter its practicality. My grandma loved buying things almost as much as she loved getting rid of those same things three months later.  One time she showed up at mom’s house with a car full of lamps.  She decided she hated lamps and wanted them all gone.  My mom, always the practical one, kept them so when my grandma realized later they were necessary, she wouldn’t have to buy more.  Any of my friends know I’m the same.  I served wine in a juice glass the other day.  My friend asked, “Don’t you have wine glasses?” “I did,” I said, “but just got rid of them.”  “Why? You didn’t use them?” he asked.  “No, I used them all the time.  I just got tired of looking at them.”

5.     Never stop moving.  My grandma moved all the time.  She’d often announce it at the latest holiday dinner.  She would wake up, be suddenly sick of her place, and a month later would be somewhere new.  She once left a home, only to return to it a few years later.  A constant mover myself, I was looking forward to staying in my current place for more than a year (a new record) until I recently found out I had to vacate in 30 days due to construction.  Although annoying and inconvenient, I was not surprised when I found myself thinking the other day, “Actually-I’m kind of over this place, so that worked out.”

6.     Crazy is charming.  My grandma was nuts, as am I.  Yet we embrace the crazy and combine it with big hearts.  That’s why people keep coming back.  A little crazy never hurt anyone…and we are a lot of fun on road trips.

7.     The flu is for sissies.  We’d often stay at her house when we had the flu. Grandma gave us whatever we wanted, which included the time my brother insisted he wanted to eat a bunch of tacos.  You can imagine my mother’s frustration when she arrived to pick him up and found him vomiting ground beef and shredded cheese everywhere.

8.     Pools and convertibles aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities.  Life’s too short.  GET THEM BOTH.

9.     Dogs are our children.  She had an antique cradle for her dog to sleep in and was the first to introduce me to a dog stroller.  I get it and think it makes absolute sense.

10.  You don’t need a man.  Most of my life she’s been single.  Men have chased after her and she’ll let them buy her lunch or keep her company, yet it goes no further.  Because at the end of the day, she’s her own woman and has no need for a full-time man dragging her down.  This is a lesson I’m still learning.

11.  Soap operas are good television.  She lived near the high school, so at lunchtime, my girlfriends and I would take our lunches to eat at her place and watch Days of Our Lives.  Those were some of my favorite memories.  If the show got really intense and it was time for us to go, she’d try convincing us to drive her car back, at age 14, so she didn’t have to leave.  She even took me and my aunt to a Days of Our Lives festival one summer.  When it came to idolizing celebrities, her and I saw eye to eye.

12.  Dairy Queen can be dinner.  When she helped move me to Michigan, we spent a week eating Dairy Queen snicker blizzards for every meal.  She was doing Weight Watchers at the time and, although two of these, met her quota for the day-she was willing to make the sacrifice.  I remember thinking how brilliant this was.  When we got tired of Dairy Queen (rare), we’d hit up the Chinese Buffet.  No excuses and no shame-it’s how we rolled.

13.  Why choose when you can have both.  My grandma loved driving with the windows down.  She also would sweat profusely.  Once, we got in the car on a blazing summer day and I asked if we should turn on the AC or roll down the windows.  Her answer?  Both. We cranked the radio up, let the wind tousle our hair as the cold AC blasted our faces.

14.  Underwear is optional.  In fact, it’s often preferred you go without.

15.  Sing loud and proud.  My grandma had one of those loud operatic voices which she’d use to pelt Amazing Grace in church.  We grandkids would chuckle, but in reality, I always loved how she simply didn’t care. She was singing for Jesus.

16.  Spend your time how you want.  There were years where she’d choose hours of Farmville over leaving the house.  I’ve been known to spend an entire 48 hour weekend playing Sims-taking breaks only to run to the bathroom and grab a snack.  It’s our time-we will do what we want with it, and if that means interacting with computerized lives over human ones, so be it.

17.  There’s always something burning in the oven.  Every holiday she left something in the oven.  EVERY. HOLIDAY.  How no one caught on, I don’t know.  How I managed to inherit this trait, despite being annoyed by it, beats me. It seems the rolls always take the biggest hit…who needs carbs anyway-more DQ.

18.  There’s no time for sentimentality.  At a family event, she once walked out with crates of old photographs-including her wedding photos-and announced to the family she was throwing them away the next morning, so, “grab what you want.”  Everyone started arguing with her and refusing to take anything.  Meanwhile I did a clean sweep, loading boxes into my car.  Later, everyone was grateful because she kept to her word and burned everything I didn’t get my hands on.  Years later, I marched out to the living room with a box full of the photos I’d taken and said to my mom, “I’m throwing all of these away tomorrow, so take what you want.”  You better believe she took them-lesson learned.

19.  Sausage gravy is love.  As long as I knew her, she had a part-time job of sitting with an elderly person, a job I’ve now inherited.  As soon as I could work, she started taking me along and then giving me some of her shifts.  She taught me how to make sausage gravy-the first meal I ever learned to cook.  “Old people love sausage gravy,” she told me. She was right.

20.  Rules are meant to be broken.  My grandma didn’t give a f***.  In fact, she invented the phrase.  Sometimes she’d do stuff simply to get a reaction out of you.  There was no rhyme or reason-she went with her urge. I remember walking through the shoe store with my mom a couple years ago and asking my mom, “Do you ever get a strong desire to just start knocking things over?”  

21.  If it can go in a blender, it should.  Grandma introduced me to smoothies and I’ve never looked back.  “Everything can go in a blender!” she once enthusiastically told me as she threw in leftovers along with fruit and hit “blend.”  Now I buy pineapple in bulk and enough produce to feed a small village for a month.

22.  New fads are meant to be tried.  My grandma purchased every diet pill and vitamin that existed, as well as any exercise devise.  She had one of those machines that shook you, vibrating a strap around your bottom and promising to eliminate cellulite by simply standing there.  She had the utmost confidence they would work.  Each time she’d pull the latest tool or pill out of the box, I’d watch in awe as she demonstrated its powers, believing she’d discovered the secret to staying fit and healthy.  She instilled this hope in me.  I carried a crystal around for weeks once after reading it’d get my period to finally to start.  I paid an obscene amount of money for Cindy Crawford’s miracle elixir, returning it 30 days later, and then surprising myself by purchasing it a second time years later during a 5 am workout binge when the infomercial reappeared.  My recent purchase was a $100 fascia blaster which I use with fervor, while watching Friends episodes, and later have to justify when explaining the bruises on my legs to friends with a, “Yeah, it hurts but I can feel it working!”

23.  Walk everywhere.  It’s great exercise, sure.  But, more importantly, it gives you a chance to catch up on the town gossip.

24.  Careful-you can give a man your yeast infection.  This statement alone is self-explanatory.  Yet my grandma felt the need to retell an in-depth twenty-minute story of how her and my grandpa discovered this to be factual, leaving me scarred for life.

25.  When life pushes back, you push harder.  The beginning of my grandma’s life was not easy.  In fact, as I understand it, it was quite hard. My grandpa rescued her and she fell madly in love.  When he died so young, it would have been easy to give up.  But she didn’t.  She found job after job, she gave of herself whenever she could, and always left people laughing.  She was resilient.  She didn’t take the easy way out and, in fact, often took the road less traveled. She made no apologies and left some scars.  Although I will miss her greatly, I am grateful she’s in heaven, reunited with my grandpa-right where she’s always wanted to be.  

So, sing loud, grandma.  Eat your fill of watermelons and leave your underwear here on earth.  I won’t say rest in peace because that never was your style and, besides, I can hear the hee-hawing from heaven already.  In the end, she had it right.  We don’t need all this stuff we carry around because it’s only temporary. All that matters is how you make people feel, the laughter over tears, and never giving up.  And, of course, always knowing where the nearest restroom is.

Day 30-35

6-13-17 Day 30: I was told that I wasn't approved to leave a week before my sign off date for my cousins wedding and papas birthday. My mom already bought my plane ticket and everything. My mom emailed the lady who denied the request so hopefully something can be changed. We're technically over staffed so there's no reason for it to not get approved. I would only be leaving a week early, that's it. I also went to st Nicholas (the resort) and laid out. It was so relaxing. And it feels good to wake up and not sleep all day. After work me and Rain went to the crew mess to see what food they had. We started walking and saw something weird from the side door. So we kept walking and sitting there was an entire pig completely cooked and cut open. It was terrifying. And it was stuffed with all of this weird stuff. I completely lost my appetite. Tomorrow is day at sea so it's gonna be a long day. And of course I'm still awake at 3am. It's hard when I don't get off until 1ish and I'm wide awake. 6-14-17 Day 31: sea days fucking suck. I started at the slide. We have 3 with only a worker at 2 of them. Some random worker comes up to me and just hands me a walkie talkie and then walks away. Doesn't say a word. I was switching through all of the channels until I finally heard a police signal. They were looking for a red mustang and were saying all of these codes. I was so confused. Finally I found a worker and asked him which station I should be on. I then had a parent come up to me complaining about how there wasn't an attendant on the little slide. He said there were tons of kids getting hurts as well as one of his. He was not happy and was putting it out on me. I apologized and said I would let someone know. And at this time I didn't know which channel we were supposed to use for the walkie talkie. The communication here is terrible. And the language barrier obviously doesn't help. Some girl came up to me and said you're the first American worker I've met! Which is true. We have a steward that comes and makes our beds everyday and changes the towels. For the past 4 days he's come in and made my bed as well as given us fresh towels but has not touched rains bed. We never see our steward so we haven't been able to ask him. It's so confusing yet so humorous at the same time. Our room looks so nice and then rains bed is all over the place because he hasn't touched it! We have this thing where guests can submit feedback and if they mention our name we get a shout out. If we get 10 shout outs we get a day off. I got 2 last week and 1 this week. It seriously feels so good that I was the reason someone had an amazing vacation. And that these guests went out of their way to recognize me and my hard work. A mom came in today and gave me and Alina gifts. They were rocks she had painted herself. They were so cool. She was Israeli too 😋 I met a family in camp today. They have 9 kids and another one that passed away. Their mom home schools them because they're moving to Honduras in September for a mission trip and are living there for a year. The oldest is 21 and the youngest is 1. It's so cool to get to know these families. And when the kids hug us goodbye and the parents thank us and truly mean it, it's means the world to me. I also met another family with 9 kids. It's crazy to me. And the youngest 2 were twins and were so cute yet so annoying. I miss my kids back at home so much. Typical kids are so annoying and have so much drama. My kids at home are exciting and bring something new to me everyday. There's actually a huge amount of kids who come on the boat who have autism but I don't always have them in my age group. Right now it's 3:03am. I went to crew bar after work. I met a new girl a few days ago from Tennessee. Her name is Candace. She sings in one of the bands. She's super nice and I love having another American around. Because she's a singer she has her own room. Today we got a list of boats and the positions they need. Rain and Alina are signing on to the breeze in September and October. That boat has a circle c position starting in November which is a huge possibility for me. I need to request it tomorrow before it's too late. I need to find somewhere to bring my laptop and eat where there's good wifi. Thankfully packages will come tomorrow too. I haven't been taking a few of my medications the past few days because I ran out and they didn't get here in time. Which is probably why I had a bladder spasm today and yesterday. NOT GOOD. Also got some paperwork today that said MR again. I've corrected them so many times and they can't get it right. Kinda like the Filipinos (I finally spelled it right) who don't know the difference between he and she and her and him. The notes they write to the parents are comical. "You child great. She love play with toy. The boy make a friend and has polite." No joke that's what they say. There's also tons of mistakes in the schedules we give out to guests which is super frustrating. This week my name wasn't on the schedules given out to the parents which sucks because they reference those when it comes to writing reviews. There was names of 2 girls who I've never even met...aka they were on the boat 2 months ago. If I see a mistake I just circle it and put it on our supervisors desk so she doesn't know who did it. Oops 😶 I want it to be tomorrow so I can sleep and get stuff done! I also forgot to write about what happened this morning. In the Kiera of my dead sleep I hear loud weird music. I sit up and realize it's coming from the announcements. The bridge (where the captains are) accidentally turned their awful music on and everyone who was in their cabins could hear it. It went on for a good hour as I smashed my head between the pillows. It was comical at first and then I was just flat out furious. 6-15-17 Day 32: today I got off in Long Beach by myself. I took an uber to a local outlet mall where I sat at Starbucks and got some stuff done with the wifi. We were given a list of positions needing to be filled for the rest of the year so I went and did some research on all the boats. I also set up my account on how to get paid from here. They give us a debit card that the money goes on. We can do direct deposit but it wasn't working for me :/ I also sent my dad a Father's Day gift card online. Then I went across the street and ate at California pizza kitchen. I got to face time my mom and update my phone and stuff. Then I learned there's a bus that I could've used for free that goes from the terminal to the outlets. Poop. I didn't know how to use it though so I just took an uber back too. I asked my supervisor about requesting a boat and she said I can't do it until I have my evaluation. When I asked her when my evaluation would be she said "before you leave" well no fucking shit before I leave. I told her the position I want is going to be taken by then and she didn't respond and just kept looking at her computer. She's such a shitty person it's like humorous. We have this other lady we work with who acts like she's our supervisor and she's not. I've literally never even had a conversation with her yet she thinks she can boss us all around. She confronted me about how I turned off the tv and how I didn't do it right. There was a sign saying to not turn off with a certain button and that's the one I turned it off with. Obviously if I would've saw it I wouldn't have touched it. It was a mistake lady...speaking of mistakes, so we are all required to write notes to the parents about their kids and how they've been doing (it's meant to help us get good ratings) well today I decided to read some and I was totally taken aback. These people do not know how to speak English. I felt embarrassed giving them out to the parents because the letters make absolutely no sense at all. It's so awkward. And one of the ladies wrote all the same things on all the cards and put a line where a name would be. Once she met the kids she went in and wrote their names on the line. Like obviously a parent is gonna know what that means, it means everyone is being given the same card and they're just going in and writing all the names down which isn't the point of them. Went to go pick up my packages today and my medication still isn't here. So I haven't been on 3 of my medications since Sunday. And my mom called Sunday and they said they would over night them here which obviously didn't happen. None of them are super serious but I've definitely been getting bladder spasms now that I'm off one of the medications. I'm also off my thyroid medicine as well as my medication that helps me stay awake during the day. I'll have to call my mom tomorrow and tell her but there's nothing she can do because we can't get mail until Sunday. 6-17-17 Day 34: I had no time to post yesterday. I've been so exhausted I sleep every chance I can. Even when I need to eat a meal or shower I've just been sleeping instead because it's so needed. There's been so much unnecessary drama around here it's crazy. Yesterday we had a mom come in asking to talk to "Ms Candy" because supposedly she called her daughter big and chubby. We apologized to the mom on behalf of ms candy (she wasn't there anymore) and explained to her that there's a language barrier and was probably the main reason behind the comment. The mom was understanding but that's hard for a 10 year old girl to hear. I can't believe our playlist cast is leaving tomorrow. I've gotten to know all 8 of them so well. It's very bittersweet. I'm excited to see how the new cast performs though. It's hard to imagine that anyone could possibly do any better than what we have now. I met a family yesterday who has 5 biological children and fosters 3 on top of that. And their youngest son has autism, so of course I'm already obsessed with them. It's crazy how many kids come on the boat who have autism. I love being able to interact with them. Everyone always asks me advice on how to work with them and make it a great experience for the child. I seriously talk about my kids back at home so much I feel like everyone is so sick of hearing it lol. I saw a shit ton of dolphins today. They were right next to the boat. I might get off tomorrow and go to the beach at Long Beach. I HAVE to get my hair cut it's like humorous how awful it looks. It's like I'm a human paintbrush and my hair is the bristles. Rain did my laundry with hers :p so blessed lol. I went to the candy store today on board. They have the cutest stuff there. They're starting to put them on all the ships. We have some people from the office on the boat. They told us that they have 4 new boats that they're working on. They said eventually they're gonna have a boat that sails to china. I'm actually really content on work at the moment. Yeah I'm really tired but moving in with Rain has helped a lot. It feels good to have someone I can go do stuff with and I conveniently always know where she is. There's obviously a lot of negatives about my work environment and my supervisor who has a stick up her fucking ass, but there's so many positives that come with it as well that make this experience so much fun. I worked night owls this whole week (10pm-1am) last pickup time is 1245 and the parents are told this every time. Yet we still are calling parents at 1 having to remind them that their children are in our care and they need to come pick them up. It's so irresponsible. And half the time the parents are wasted. Parents are also allowed to check out a phone but just return them before 10pm on the last night which never happens either. Tonight one of the late parents came in and literally just threw his trash on the ground. These poor kids are passed the fuck out, so tired, and their parents leave them there all night. I'm off now and I'm eating at crew mess alone. Which I'm okay with besides the stares. I've had a headache all day though so I needed to eat something. We have to be at a meeting tomorrow at 930 to meet with some people from the office. I seriously need to sleep in so badly but not sure when that's gonna happen. I start in circle c tomorrow. It's so weird switching back and forth. And being alone in there is hard as well. Especially during high count which is now. 6-19-17 Day 35: I finally got my haircut yesterday. Winslow picked me up. Got about 3-4 inches off. The lady charged me way too much though and she didn't even wash my hair. I was so mad. I didn't question it though because I was in a rush ugh. I started my week at circle c yesterday. No joke had 30-40 kids in there at one time it was not okay. One of the moms asked if I was alone and when I said yes I could tell she was worried for me. She told me I was doing a good job though which was nice. A lot of the kids think they're too cool for my club and it makes me so mad. Like then don't come if you think it's too babyish. I got to sleep in today 🙌🏾 I had a training at 130 that only lasted 30 minutes. Such a waste of time I could've been sleeping! It was an environment training. They train us on the weirdest things. Yesterday 2 of the people from the office came. They're the ones that hired me. I talked to one of them about not getting approved to leave for my cousins wedding and she's going to look more into it for me. She thinks the week I'm requesting to leave we'll actually be overstaffed because of an event on board so it may work in my favor! We got to talk to one of the ladies about issues we're having. She said Circle c is going to be getting an iPad that kids can request songs on. Right now we're using cds...and the most recent is from 2015. The office thought we had one this entire time...she was also confused as to why I was only here for 3 months and why I'm switching on and off from camp to circle c every week. Seems like the office doesn't know their shit. Even today when I signed in at my training it said my position was club O2. And the other day one of my papers said MR. So frustrating. It's 230 and I have work at 4. I'm gonna take a nap because I have nothing else to do and I'm tired af. Tonight I got to see the rock show with the new cast. Not. Good. They don't even come close to our old cast. It kinda made me so sad. People come and go here so fast it sucks. I have 2 brothers in my club. One of them has autism and the other one supposedly doesn't. The one who "doesn't" is out of control. He is constantly in my space and not listening to me. He asked me for just dance 16. I told him we didn't have it. He asked me at least 4 more times why we don't have it and if we have it. I told him no and then he asks if he can look in the office just to make sure we don't have it. I told him no and that they are not allowed in there in which he walked right in. There's also been numerous times where I've been talking to a parent and he'll come over and interrupt because he wants me to do something. I don't have a problem with having him in the club but I wish his parents would use a little common sense and supervise their kids more. They come and go as they please which is okay, but the mom never knows where they are and doesn't understand how their behavior towards me and the other kids is hard on everyone. At first the boys registered themselves so we didn't even know that one of them had a disability. On top of that I have tons of kids this cruise which makes it hard and I'm getting sick.

New Post has been published on https://www.madpicks.com/sports/mlb/autopsy-angels-ninth-inning-comeback-mariners/

An autopsy of the Angels’ ninth-inning comeback against the Mariners

Did the Mariners play bad baseball? Did the Angels play good baseball? Was there a lot of dumb baseball mixed between? Yes.

My Dearest Mariners fans,

This is a cruel post. Do not think for a moment that I am unaware of this important fact. However, it is a fair post. It was less than a year ago that we were in this same spot, talking about an impossible Mariners comeback. This is the spiritual sequel to that game.

In this sequel, our hero wakes up drunk and disheveled, which lets the audience know that a lot has happened between the first movie and now.

Again, apologies. But there’s a part of me that knows Mariners fans have had it too easy lately, so it’s time to dig into the Angels’ seven-run comeback in the bottom of the ninth inning on Sunday.

The reason is simple: Baseball is defined as a series of meaningless events that occur between innings like this. Every time you’re watching the ninth inning of a game with a team down by six, there’s a large part of you that’s wondering why in the heck you’re wasting your time. There’s a much smaller part of you that realizes there’s still a chance Cliff Pennington could rope a 98-mph fastball into the gap the second time he bats in the inning.

This is a victory for that small, foolish, and dominant part of your sports brain. This is why you’ll waste hundreds and hundreds of hours in your life waiting for comebacks that never happen. And we need to play a game while performing the postmortem. Was this the Mariners playing bad baseball? Or was this baseball being a jerk?

Before rolling the tape and going batter by batter, I’m going to assume it’s both. It’s probably both. If you want to duck out, I understand.

Batter #1 – Albert Pujols (home run)

I have selected the new cover for my children’s book, Don’t Throw Albert Pujols a First-Pitch Fastball There, Dummy, in which I use a classic Goofus/Gallant setup to praise smart kids and excoriate dumb ones. This is the cover:

The camera angle makes that look more outside than it was. From Brooks Baseball, here’s what the pitch looked like from the catcher’s perspective:

However, it’s not fair to jump on Casey Fien for that pitch. He had a six-run lead. What, you want him to nibble? Throw a breaking ball? Risk getting behind in the at-bat because you’re scared that a museum exhibit was going to turn on it? The only thing worse than that pitch location was any location out of the one. That would have meant getting behind 1-0 and putting a runner on for free.

Fien should be commended for challenging the hitter. Let me just take a big sip out of this “Fien should be commended for challenging the hitter and not walking him” coffee mug and see how the rest of the inning went down …

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk? I want it to be the latter because no pitcher should be reprimanded for a get-it-in fastball with a six-run lead, but … well, there’s no getting around how Pujols-friendly that location was.

Ruling: Bad baseball

Batter #2 – Cliff Pennington (walk)

Pennington was a defensive replacement, because of course he was. He’s hit .209/.283/.293 in 382 at-bats over the last couple years, and those are numbers that help players retire early. If you were surprised he was on a major league roster, don’t be. If you had asked me before yesterday, I might have guessed that he was active from 1999 to 2007.

And on the fifth pitch of the at-bat, he hit the baseball so poorly, it went about 14 inches from home plate.

It was foul by this much:

These aren’t things the hitter or pitcher control, really. If this seems like beginner-baseball to you, I apologize, but after about 15,000 hours watching baseball in my lifetime, it still blows me away. Before every big hit, every huge baseball moment, there’s probably a batter screwing up and not doing what he wants to.

If you think about it, every foul ball is a batter screwing up and not doing what he wants to, he says, wide-eyed and dead serious, as smoke swirls around the dorm room.

So in a way, you don’t want to be too hard on Casey Fien because he almost did his job. Technically, he did do it. He got Pennington to hit the ball where he didn’t want to.

In another, more accurate and important, way, Fien walked Cliff Pennington with a five-run lead in the ninth inning.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Bad baseball

And how!

Batter #3 – C.J. Cron (single)

There’s a mound visit before this at-bat, in which Mel Stottlemyre Jr. probably growled something like, “You know that was Cliff Pennington, right?” The overall message likely had something to do with throwing strikes, perhaps with some swear words, or at least a grawlix mixed in.

So Fien threw a strike. Or, at least, he tried to. It was an inside curveball that might have been a ball, according to Brooks Baseball and PITCHf/x:

Looped over short for a single. Finally, we have an unambiguous one to give to the Mariners.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball being a jerk

Two on, no outs, but the lead is still five. No big deal. Just can’t walk anyone else, ha ha.

Batter #4 – Ben Revere (BB)

You cannot walk Ben Revere to load the bases with a five-run lead. Of all batters, up to and including a few pitchers, this is the one active player who absolutely cannot be walked in this situation. Walking a player with six career home runs in 3,044 plate appearances is a mortal sin against the sport.

To be fair, the first pitch might have been the worst non-strike of the young season:

Alas, but it missed the target, which forced a catcher-stab.

That’s Carlos Ruiz behind the plate, which is an ironic name for the rookie, considering that it’s the same name as a long-time veteran catcher. Unless … no, it can’t be.

After another borderline call for ball, Fien completely loses his feel and throws two pitches that aren’t even remotely close. He did it. He walked Ben Revere to load the bases with a five-run lead.

I can’t have been the first one to do this, but just in case …

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: The worst baseball

Batter # 5 – Danny Espinosa (ground out)

Edwin Diaz, a minotaur wearing human skin, is in the game now, and he’ll surely restore some order. A couple of batters might get lucky against him, but not three or four in a row, right?

Danny Espinosa grounded out on the second pitch, a 96-mph fastball that was just above the knees. Really, I’m in favor of Espinosa getting credit for a single in the box score, just for making contact. Moral victory.

This is baseball being a jerk, however, because Espinosa hit the ball so poorly, the Mariners couldn’t turn a double play, and it brought a run home. It makes me pine for an alternate timeline where baseball evolved to have a judge who could reverse the outcome of a play if the contact is crappy enough.

ANNOUNCER: And, yes, Judge Joe West is on the field, and he’s ruling that a double play. The crowd doesn’t like it, but that’s the right call.

I don’t see how that could possibly go wrong.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball being a jerk

Batter #6 – Martin Maldonado (strikeout)

Maldonado took the first pitch, which was a 97-mph fastball roughly where Pujols’ home run pitch was. That was probably the pitch to swing at.

As is, Diaz did what he needed to do, which was get some quick outs. Maldonado struck out on a wicked fastball down in the strike zone, as one does against Edwin Diaz.

This was the fifth pitch of the at-bat, and PITCHf/x had it as being right on the corner:

All catchers stab throughout the season. Some catchers stab more than most. I have no idea which one Ruiz is, but it’s probably something to watch, Mariners fans.

(Also, I am completely aware that every last Mariners fan has already closed the tab, and I’m free to write incredibly nasty things about them. Ken Griffey, Jr. was overrated! Edgar Martinez shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame! Harold Reynolds is your fault!)

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Perfectly normal baseball

Batter #7 – Yuñel Escobar (double)

Not every moment of a seven-run comeback will be fair. That’s the point, see. The Mariners are in a death spiral early in the season, and it feels like everything is going against them.

That’s because it is!

Escobar pounded the fastball right into the ground, which is most assuredly what he did not want to do. Good job, Edwin. That is some good pitching.

Double.

Not only is it a double, but it brings the tying run to the plate. Now Diaz can’t pump fastballs down the middle, daring hitters to make contact. Now there has to be nuance. Now there has to be precision.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball being a jerk

Batter #8 – Kole Calhoun (walk)

And where there has to be nuance and precision, there just might be the tendency to grip a baseball a little tighter. Whatever you do, don’t look in the on-deck circle, because there’s absolutely no one in there, certainly not Mike Trout. I SAID DON’T LOOK, EDWIN, why would you look?

Diaz walked Calhoun on four pitches, and the first three pitches weren’t even close. The fourth pitch, well …

And if you’re wondering about the framing …

I’m not an expert on catching. I would also assume that catching Edwin Diaz is one of the hardest jobs in baseball. Don’t take three GIFs and turn them into a narrative. Carlos Ruiz might be a fine defensive catcher in his advanced age.

According to StatCorner, though, he’s been among the worst framers in baseball over the last four seasons. The next time you hear someone making fun of pitch-framing metrics that overestimate the value of a plus-framing catcher, remember this game. With a superior framer, the Mariners might not have blown a six-run lead in the ninth inning.

Still, the first three pitches were on Diaz, and he needed to throw a pitch down the middle there, not nibble on the corners.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Bad baseball

Batter #9 – Mike Trout (walk)

In which Mike Trout represents the winning run.

You would have done the same damned thing.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Good baseball, probably

Batter #10 – Albert Pujols (single)

In on the fists at 97 mph. Pujols was late. This is the hit that tied the game.

Before we chalk this up to baseball being a jerk, though, let’s side-eye Danny Valencia, who was making the 29th start of his career at first base. The ball wasn’t hit that hard, was it?

Seems like a ball that should have been knocked down, at least, but that’s a subjective judgment.

If you’re wondering how many opposite-field grounders Pujols got hits with last year, FanGraphs has the answer.

So, again, we have Diaz doing what he wants to do, combined with a hitter screwing up because he wasn’t ready for it. At the same time, we have a fielder who took three steps and fell down, but didn’t do it in time to stop the ball from leaving the infield. What to do in this case?

How do you grade this one?

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball

Batter #10 – Cliff Pennington (double)

When a pitcher throws a first-pitch 98-mph fastball low in the strike zone to Cliff Pennington, he should feel like he’s done a Very Good Baseball Thing.

Pennington, of course, murdered the baseball.

Mitch Haniger’s route to the ball was more of a ¶ than a , but I’m not sure how many right fielders in baseball catch that. Just like the note up there about not being too skeptical about catcher-framing metrics, maybe this is a play you can remember the next time you’re furrowing your brow at Jason Heyward’s perceived defensive value.

Regardless, Pennington ripped it, and it deserved to be a hit, even if Diaz made his pitch.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball

Maybe the whole “baseball being a jerk” construction was unnecessary. Baseball is already in there. Calling it a jerk is being redundant. Baseball is the kind of game that leads to Cliff Pennington being covered in baby powder.

And it’s the kind of game that can lead to this collection of extremely Mariners faces:

This was the game the Mariners put on their credit card last June, and they’ve been ignoring the minimum payments for months. It was incredibly unfair to Edwin Diaz, who got two quick outs and made just a couple of mistakes. It was incredibly unfair to Mariners fans, who were probably the only people who bothered watching the ninth inning.

It was the kind of ninth inning most of us dream about over and over when our teams are in a seemingly impossible situation. We dream and hope and what-if our way through the entire ninth inning, even though it never happens.

And then one day it does. It’s what keeps us coming back. The Angels came back from six runs down in the ninth inning, and they did it with walks, poorly hit baseballs, crushed baseballs, sketchy defense on the other side, and everything in between.

It was a very normal inning, in other words. You just have to stretch your definition of “normal,” which baseball is very good at making you do.

An autopsy of the Angels’ ninth-inning comeback against the Mariners

Did the Mariners play bad baseball? Did the Angels play good baseball? Was there a lot of dumb baseball mixed between? Yes.

My Dearest Mariners fans,

This is a cruel post. Do not think for a moment that I am unaware of this important fact. However, it is a fair post. It was less than a year ago that we were in this same spot, talking about an impossible Mariners comeback. This is the spiritual sequel to that game.

In this sequel, our hero wakes up drunk and disheveled, which lets the audience know that a lot has happened between the first movie and now.

Again, apologies. But there’s a part of me that knows Mariners fans have had it too easy lately, so it’s time to dig into the Angels’ seven-run comeback in the bottom of the ninth inning on Sunday.

The reason is simple: Baseball is defined as a series of meaningless events that occur between innings like this. Every time you’re watching the ninth inning of a game with a team down by six, there’s a large part of you that’s wondering why in the heck you’re wasting your time. There’s a much smaller part of you that realizes there’s still a chance Cliff Pennington could rope a 98-mph fastball into the gap the second time he bats in the inning.

This is a victory for that small, foolish, and dominant part of your sports brain. This is why you’ll waste hundreds and hundreds of hours in your life waiting for comebacks that never happen. And we need to play a game while performing the postmortem. Was this the Mariners playing bad baseball? Or was this baseball being a jerk?

Before rolling the tape and going batter by batter, I’m going to assume it’s both. It’s probably both. If you want to duck out, I understand.

Batter #1 - Albert Pujols (home run)

I have selected the new cover for my children’s book, Don’t Throw Albert Pujols a First-Pitch Fastball There, Dummy, in which I use a classic Goofus/Gallant setup to praise smart kids and excoriate dumb ones. This is the cover:

The camera angle makes that look more outside than it was. From Brooks Baseball, here’s what the pitch looked like from the catcher’s perspective:

However, it’s not fair to jump on Casey Fien for that pitch. He had a six-run lead. What, you want him to nibble? Throw a breaking ball? Risk getting behind in the at-bat because you’re scared that a museum exhibit was going to turn on it? The only thing worse than that pitch location was any location out of the one. That would have meant getting behind 1-0 and putting a runner on for free.

Fien should be commended for challenging the hitter. Let me just take a big sip out of this “Fien should be commended for challenging the hitter and not walking him” coffee mug and see how the rest of the inning went down ...

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk? I want it to be the latter because no pitcher should be reprimanded for a get-it-in fastball with a six-run lead, but ... well, there’s no getting around how Pujols-friendly that location was.

Ruling: Bad baseball

Batter #2 - Cliff Pennington (walk)

Pennington was a defensive replacement, because of course he was. He’s hit .209/.283/.293 in 382 at-bats over the last couple years, and those are numbers that help players retire early. If you were surprised he was on a major league roster, don’t be. If you had asked me before yesterday, I might have guessed that he was active from 1999 to 2007.

And on the fifth pitch of the at-bat, he hit the baseball so poorly, it went about 14 inches from home plate.

It was foul by this much:

These aren’t things the hitter or pitcher control, really. If this seems like beginner-baseball to you, I apologize, but after about 15,000 hours watching baseball in my lifetime, it still blows me away. Before every big hit, every huge baseball moment, there’s probably a batter screwing up and not doing what he wants to.

If you think about it, every foul ball is a batter screwing up and not doing what he wants to, he says, wide-eyed and dead serious, as smoke swirls around the dorm room.

So in a way, you don’t want to be too hard on Casey Fien because he almost did his job. Technically, he did do it. He got Pennington to hit the ball where he didn’t want to.

In another, more accurate and important, way, Fien walked Cliff Pennington with a five-run lead in the ninth inning.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Bad baseball

And how!

Batter #3 - C.J. Cron (single)

There’s a mound visit before this at-bat, in which Mel Stottlemyre Jr. probably growled something like, “You know that was Cliff Pennington, right?” The overall message likely had something to do with throwing strikes, perhaps with some swear words, or at least a grawlix mixed in.

So Fien threw a strike. Or, at least, he tried to. It was an inside curveball that might have been a ball, according to Brooks Baseball and PITCHf/x:

Looped over short for a single. Finally, we have an unambiguous one to give to the Mariners.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball being a jerk

Two on, no outs, but the lead is still five. No big deal. Just can’t walk anyone else, ha ha.

Batter #4 - Ben Revere (BB)

You cannot walk Ben Revere to load the bases with a five-run lead. Of all batters, up to and including a few pitchers, this is the one active player who absolutely cannot be walked in this situation. Walking a player with six career home runs in 3,044 plate appearances is a mortal sin against the sport.

To be fair, the first pitch might have been the worst non-strike of the young season:

Alas, but it missed the target, which forced a catcher-stab.

That’s Carlos Ruiz behind the plate, which is an ironic name for the rookie, considering that it’s the same name as a long-time veteran catcher. Unless ... no, it can’t be.

After another borderline call for ball, Fien completely loses his feel and throws two pitches that aren’t even remotely close. He did it. He walked Ben Revere to load the bases with a five-run lead.

I can’t have been the first one to do this, but just in case ...

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: The worst baseball

Batter # 5 - Danny Espinosa (ground out)

Edwin Diaz, a minotaur wearing human skin, is in the game now, and he’ll surely restore some order. A couple of batters might get lucky against him, but not three or four in a row, right?

Danny Espinosa grounded out on the second pitch, a 96-mph fastball that was just above the knees. Really, I’m in favor of Espinosa getting credit for a single in the box score, just for making contact. Moral victory.

This is baseball being a jerk, however, because Espinosa hit the ball so poorly, the Mariners couldn’t turn a double play, and it brought a run home. It makes me pine for an alternate timeline where baseball evolved to have a judge who could reverse the outcome of a play if the contact is crappy enough.

ANNOUNCER: And, yes, Judge Joe West is on the field, and he’s ruling that a double play. The crowd doesn’t like it, but that’s the right call.

I don’t see how that could possibly go wrong.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball being a jerk

Batter #6 - Martin Maldonado (strikeout)

Maldonado took the first pitch, which was a 97-mph fastball roughly where Pujols’ home run pitch was. That was probably the pitch to swing at.

As is, Diaz did what he needed to do, which was get some quick outs. Maldonado struck out on a wicked fastball down in the strike zone, as one does against Edwin Diaz.

This was the fifth pitch of the at-bat, and PITCHf/x had it as being right on the corner:

All catchers stab throughout the season. Some catchers stab more than most. I have no idea which one Ruiz is, but it’s probably something to watch, Mariners fans.

(Also, I am completely aware that every last Mariners fan has already closed the tab, and I’m free to write incredibly nasty things about them. Ken Griffey, Jr. was overrated! Edgar Martinez shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame! Harold Reynolds is your fault!)

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Perfectly normal baseball

Batter #7 - Yuñel Escobar (double)

Not every moment of a seven-run comeback will be fair. That’s the point, see. The Mariners are in a death spiral early in the season, and it feels like everything is going against them.

That’s because it is!

Escobar pounded the fastball right into the ground, which is most assuredly what he did not want to do. Good job, Edwin. That is some good pitching.

Double.

Not only is it a double, but it brings the tying run to the plate. Now Diaz can’t pump fastballs down the middle, daring hitters to make contact. Now there has to be nuance. Now there has to be precision.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball being a jerk

Batter #8 - Kole Calhoun (walk)

And where there has to be nuance and precision, there just might be the tendency to grip a baseball a little tighter. Whatever you do, don’t look in the on-deck circle, because there’s absolutely no one in there, certainly not Mike Trout. I SAID DON’T LOOK, EDWIN, why would you look?

Diaz walked Calhoun on four pitches, and the first three pitches weren’t even close. The fourth pitch, well ...

And if you’re wondering about the framing ...

I’m not an expert on catching. I would also assume that catching Edwin Diaz is one of the hardest jobs in baseball. Don’t take three GIFs and turn them into a narrative. Carlos Ruiz might be a fine defensive catcher in his advanced age.

According to StatCorner, though, he’s been among the worst framers in baseball over the last four seasons. The next time you hear someone making fun of pitch-framing metrics that overestimate the value of a plus-framing catcher, remember this game. With a superior framer, the Mariners might not have blown a six-run lead in the ninth inning.

Still, the first three pitches were on Diaz, and he needed to throw a pitch down the middle there, not nibble on the corners.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Bad baseball

Batter #9 - Mike Trout (walk)

In which Mike Trout represents the winning run.

You would have done the same damned thing.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Good baseball, probably

Batter #10 - Albert Pujols (single)

In on the fists at 97 mph. Pujols was late. This is the hit that tied the game.

Before we chalk this up to baseball being a jerk, though, let’s side-eye Danny Valencia, who was making the 29th start of his career at first base. The ball wasn’t hit that hard, was it?

Seems like a ball that should have been knocked down, at least, but that’s a subjective judgment.

If you’re wondering how many opposite-field grounders Pujols got hits with last year, FanGraphs has the answer.

So, again, we have Diaz doing what he wants to do, combined with a hitter screwing up because he wasn’t ready for it. At the same time, we have a fielder who took three steps and fell down, but didn’t do it in time to stop the ball from leaving the infield. What to do in this case?

How do you grade this one?

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball

Batter #10 - Cliff Pennington (double)

When a pitcher throws a first-pitch 98-mph fastball low in the strike zone to Cliff Pennington, he should feel like he’s done a Very Good Baseball Thing.

Pennington, of course, murdered the baseball.

Mitch Haniger’s route to the ball was more of a ¶ than a \, but I’m not sure how many right fielders in baseball catch that. Just like the note up there about not being too skeptical about catcher-framing metrics, maybe this is a play you can remember the next time you’re furrowing your brow at Jason Heyward’s perceived defensive value.

Regardless, Pennington ripped it, and it deserved to be a hit, even if Diaz made his pitch.

Bad baseball or baseball being a jerk?

Ruling: Baseball

Maybe the whole “baseball being a jerk” construction was unnecessary. Baseball is already in there. Calling it a jerk is being redundant. Baseball is the kind of game that leads to Cliff Pennington being covered in baby powder.

And it’s the kind of game that can lead to this collection of extremely Mariners faces:

This was the game the Mariners put on their credit card last June, and they’ve been ignoring the minimum payments for months. It was incredibly unfair to Edwin Diaz, who got two quick outs and made just a couple of mistakes. It was incredibly unfair to Mariners fans, who were probably the only people who bothered watching the ninth inning.

It was the kind of ninth inning most of us dream about over and over when our teams are in a seemingly impossible situation. We dream and hope and what-if our way through the entire ninth inning, even though it never happens.

And then one day it does. It’s what keeps us coming back. The Angels came back from six runs down in the ninth inning, and they did it with walks, poorly hit baseballs, crushed baseballs, sketchy defense on the other side, and everything in between.

It was a very normal inning, in other words. You just have to stretch your definition of “normal,” which baseball is very good at making you do.