#weve been talking so much during this
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that's what thirty years of commitment to Aperture will do to you.
+ one divorce
#Weve been talking about how aperture employees were exposed to so much shit during their tenures they were ALL probably dying from like#sixteen different things#my arts#wheatley pevensie#portal 2
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moving today </3 very upset!!!!! having a terrible time!!!!!!! dont want to leave and certainly dont want to move back in w my parents!!!!!!
#im gonna miss my roommate so much yesterday we spent the whole afternoon doing colouring pages#because of some stupid inside joke we have#and then we talked ab our respective traumas during it there will never be another roommate like her!!!!!#weve gotten so close since we moved in together i love her so much im going to miss her sm :(#weve both been having our respecive sobbing sessions over it and i think i will have a few more today#horrible!! worst day of my life!!!!!!!#personal
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god every time I think too much about this my brain wants to explode a little, but going into teaching as a nonbinary/genderqueer person is really going to be something huh
#thinking about this again tonight bc in one of my grad classes today we were all gendered as minus the one guy in the group#like during discussion someone (who i do love) was like. well I think because everyone here idenfities as a woman etc etc#and the other day in a different class my prof was talking about the demogroahics of the class in the same way relating it to teaching#how we were all the except the guy women etc etc#and there are so many other examples and ive been wondering like...how is this possible#and how does this happen so foren bc like#my cohort is very tiny and weve all been in classes for years together and most i know really well AND an out too#and my profs are lovely and know my pronouns#and this has never happened to me in other classes before to this level let alone with people i know so well#but i think ive come to the conclusion that these are all teaching spaces and people just dont think of teachers as gender diverse at all#like even the most well meaning progressive people in literal educational justice classes just it does not occur to them as a possibility#in our class but also just in general#and we talk so much about other stuff but it constantly feels like people are leaving this out the equation#anyway this probably makes zero sense#but i am just. thinking thoughts and need to put them somewhere.#its just fascinating#teaching#nonbinary#queer
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It's so not fair but I can not stand my coworker when she's not feeling well/sick and I really wish she'd just stay home
#it occurred to me she may think a doctors note is required but it is not#unless its like a ton of days and even then weve not once been asked to get one from someone#and its so stupid and especially unfair of me to have the attitude i have because i KNOW its bullshit#but years and years of like being fortunate to have pretty decent health and also parents that just sort of have me tough it out and etc#theres this stupid ass almost superiority feeling im trying to smother with a pillow#about how less annoying *I* am when im not feeling well which is so unfair i kept having the same feeling while ny roomate was sivk#she kept talking about how much she wanted to go to work so she was debating just lying to her boss about her remaining symptoms#which i do not think she could have actually done and i kept thinking about how much better i am at doing that#which is so so bullshit and unfair and also stupid#so thats been an incredibly annoying feeling in the back of my head during all this#and its separate sort of from being annoyed with her#but its also all unfair and like layers and layers of it#but also if she crys about not feeling well and goes home early a second day in a row i am#gonna be so mad#dont mind me#tag rambles#work tag
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need hamzah HEADcannons... like giving and receiving. weve discussed him holding hands but think abt him being soooo nervous the first few times he goes down on reader. i also think he would be one of those guys that keeps count of how many times u cum so he knows he's satisfying u. also i feel like after a few months in the relationship when he's receiving and he gets comfortable he kinda becomes a headpusher :P
𐙚HEADcannons ― hamzahthefantastic
notes/warnings: nsfw !! hamzah giving and receiving head :3 (lord save me) sorry it took me so long to get to this request angel !!
nervous asf to post this for some reason, pls be nice
giving
-yeah ... this boy holds his breath he's so damn nervous the first two or three times god bless him 😭
-he's a smart guy though so it doesn't take long for him to figure out your body and what you like/don't like
-being a pragmatic person, he experiments with different angles, speeds, roughness and takes a mental note of how vocal they make you and how much your squirm with pleasure
-he's a big kisser when he eats you out ?? idk i have such a clear image of him literally making out with your heat (the cake video....) and giving your clit a sweet kiss even when you're sensitive from cumming
-speaking of kissing, i know damn well this boy is dragging out the foreplay as long as humanly possibly. he's a tease, whether he's aware of it or not SO he'll kiss your inner thighs and bite them 💝
-he's a munch, i will die on this hill. i know those sexy plump lips are put to good use on you
-when words aren't enough during an argument or you're sad/stressed, he will literally offer to eat you out (but he still gets shy abt it, so cute)
"i'm sorry, baby. i can make you feel better if you want...?"
"mm? how so?" you tease him, knowing what he's trying to say
he'll blush so baddddd
"i-uh- if you want, i can...y'know?"
-big believer that he holds your legs/hips down if you jut them up while he's working on you
-he'll do that slutty tongue click if you start to buck your hips eagerly and be like "nah, i got it baby, just relax" 😵💫
-LOVES when you grab onto his hair and pull it ... the way your fingers rake through his curls and tug them encourages him like crazyyyy
-he's a bit messy with it if ykwim... very sloppy and wet
-will not stop until your legs are shaking, like you will have to PRY him off of you
-lowkey surprises himself the first time your legs tremble. also kind freaks him out lmao he can be so clueless i love him
"holy fuck.... that's a good thing right? "
-likes to overstim!! not so much for the kink of it, more so for his own self confidence to make sure he's making you feel good 🙁 because of this, he'll count how many times he can make you cum before you get too sensitive. he's a bit of an overcompensater but you’re not complaining
-he's so pussy whipped bye
-geuinely craves you on the mf daily and it will come out of NOWHERE
-he could be editing a new vid and suddenly have this insane urge to be between your thighs and taste you
receiving
-WHIMPERER AND CRIER 1000000%
-ik yall know what i'm talking abt bc there have been times in vids where i swear i've heard him whimper from a jumpscare
-he gets so submissive when receiving oh lordddd
-he'll beg you all pathetic and does not give a fuck
"fuck, y/n, please keep going, please, please, oh fuckk please"
-his voice will crack too and it's adorable
-if you gag easily me he makes sure to stagger how much of him you take
-he would love if you could take all of him, but he never wants you to feel uncomfortable or like you have to
-head pusher :3 not until later in your relationship but when the time comes and you’re both comfortable, he’ll have his fingers through your hair, carefully guiding your head back and forth
-likes to cup the side of your face while your work on him, especially if he’s feeling extra intimate that day
-PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE 🔊 likes to receive it but gives a lot of it as well
“so good, sweetheart”
“like that, baby-fuck mhm”
-he’s nearly been in tears from being so touch starved and finally getting head 🤕 it's so pretty when his eyes are all glassy and half-lidded
-you have to make sure he’s still breathing sometimes bc he’s so overwhelmed with stimulation that he’ll go nonverbal lmfao
-screws his eyes tightly shut almost the whole time, if they’re not closed he’s making the most submissive eye contact with you, watching your every move
-sometimes he has to hold onto something else or sit down bc his legs get so weak
-no matter how many times he gets head, he always acts likes it's the first time
-he’s at your mercy fr 🎀
໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts , @junebugin-july , @itgirlvirgo , @sie17136 , @1312006 , @kingvioleta , @hrt-attack , & @scarvain , @ldrvinyl
i always feel like i'm forgetting ppl on here idk why 🧌
#jules speaks !! 🐻ིྀ#hamzahthefantastic#hamzahthefantastic x reader#hamzahthefantastic imagines#hamzahthefantastic x you#hamzahthefantastic headcannons#slushy noobz#cdbabymp3
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im making an entire seperate post JUST TO TALK ABOUT THE WATERLAND SCENE
right off the bat we see how much percy trusts annabeth, she tells him to push the gate that seemingly connects to a death trap and HE DOES??
annabeth absolutely geeking out over the entire park the whole time, literally taking a moment to ADMIRE said death trap. this no doubt gained her points with hephaestus from the JUMP
percy ‘mommas boy’ jackson is on another level, he loves sally so much.
you can SES how what percy is saying in the boat ride/during the hephaestus story to annabeth is literally like blowing her fucking mind. it’s fundamentally challenging EVERYTHING she has known
Annabeth immediate attempt to sacrifice herself to the chair instead of percy after the watch, after he already sacrificed himself for her
THE SEAWEED BRAIN WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (i went back and rewatched 3x and my little brother yelled at me:i have no regrets:))
the argument between the two of them, the tears and grief in each of their eyes, percy using what very well may be his last words, his last moments to comfort annabeth
the way my girl jumped right into ‘alright , you can’t stay in there forever we have places to be come on now’I LOVE ANNABETH CHASE
‘i’m not leaving without my friend’ oh okay make me cry again great. PLEASE I CANT WITH THE FRIEND THING ITS HURTING ME(don’t stop tho)
Annabeth telling off every figure of authority is so personal for me, god i love her
‘He isn’t like that’ fundamentally changed me and i will never be the same.
anywho if you stayed for my rambling, i love you and thank you for listening to my brainrot❤️
#pjo tv show#pjo series#leah sava jeffries#walker scobell#annabeth chase#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#rick riordan
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WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?
Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia
I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.
Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.
I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.
Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol
Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.
We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.
On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.
I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.
So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?
What are these acronyms?
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f1 lestappen database nini edition
notes: number 1) this can get outdated super easily… number 2) i also dont know how to link content as i dont use tumblr alot but upon request im remaking my twitter thread here number 3) im not putting the races in chronological order as im quite lazy
at the 2019 japanese gp, max and charles hit eachother into turn two.
max after the race on the crash:
“i just dont get it. there was no need to risk so much in turn two. cause at the end of the day, both of us had to pit.”
2019 austrian gp, 3 laps left into the race max overtook charles and won the grandprix.
charles at the postrace pressconference:
“as i said, ive done exactly the same thing from the first and the second lap so i didnt expect any contact on the second lap. as max said, i think he braked a little bit deeper. i dont know if he lost it or not but then there was the contact. i felt like i was quite strong in traction. on the first attempt i managed to have better traction and have my position. on the second one i couldnt do that cause i was off track.”
2019 silverstone gp, the race right after austria. max and charles closely battled for 10 laps straight
charles during the postrace press conference:
“the best move was probably the one on max, on the outside in copse, i think he just passed me and i passed him back around the outside of copse. i think that was definitely was one of the most exciting (moves) of the race… of my race!”
2020 sakhir gp, charles crashed into checo, forcing max to go wide and then also crash
max post race:
“i respect charles alot, hes a great driver but i think today was a bit too much. he asked me “what happened?” and i say “what do you mean “what happened” you crashed into sergio and i have to go around”. i think he will look back at the footage and i hope he will understand that that was maybe a bit too aggressive. which is a shame.”
charles on the beyond the grid podcast 2021, talking about his rivalry with max:
“its the same (their rivalry) at the moment its obviously a little bit deminished because i can not fight against him, unfortunately. but if you look at the fight in silverstone 2019, i think you can understand theres quite a bit of competition and its always been the case. i mean its nice; we have grown up together in karting weve been always fighting eachother and now we find ourselves again in formula 1. so its great and i cant wait to put the team back were it deserves to be and fight against max for the title.”
monaco gp 2021, during Q3 charles crashes which means max cant set a laptime
max postrace interview:
“he just clipped the wall initially and ended up where ive ended up twice [laughs] so its just unfortunate. ofcourse i am disappointed not to have a shot at pole but thats life, you know. sometimes you cant do it. i mean its fine, i dont think his lap should be deleted in the future if they want to make rule changes. i dont that would be fair.”
charles instagram post after the 2021 silverstone gp yes i am counting it too:
max saying he prefers his rivalry with charles over the one he has with lewis, 2022
max to sky italy:
"i prefer what we have now because, first of all, charles i know very well, hes a nice guy, we are a similar age… on saturday night, we even had a laugh in paul ricard... we are hard competitors on the track and we will always try to beat each other, which i think is very normal, but outside of it you can have a good time as well, and thats what i really enjoy about this year."
max debunking that charles never forgave him for austria 2019 and racing together with him, 2022
max in a video interview:
"i never speak about these things with other drivers, i mean, it happens. ive lost wins as well, and its not the end of the world, you move on. i think charles is one of the most talented drivers in formula 1, and he will win many more races… i would say back in the day it was a little bit more difficult, but also we were very young and growing up and you are fighting for the same goal, right? now that youre in formula 1, i think it is really different. you are representing really big brands. so we get on very well now. we can have a good chat and enjoy our battles, and i think thats very nice. knowing each other for such a long time helps. weve spent so much time together, in a way."
2022 hungarian gp, max told the hungarian press he understands charles his frustration after the 2022 french gp
max to the hungarian press:
“everyone handles that (their disappointment) in a different way. some people need to reflect on it like that. at the time youre still a bit emotional from what just happened and maybe become a bit too emotional, but thats fine, people should be emotional, they should show their emotions."
charles on fighting with italian site corriere della sera, 2022 this is not an official translation sorry but i can link the source
charles:
“i like to deal with max, we have a similar level of aggression. we have fun, with respect. im not saying that last year there was no respect between max and lewis, but it seemed like a different duel than ours. but if we were to get to the end of the championship very close in points, the situation would be much more tense than it is now.”
max, also for corriere della sera in 2022
max:
“i have known charles since we were five years old, we are of the same generation and we grew up challenging ourselves on the track.”
max to viaplay, 2023 after charles crashed during Q3 of the miami gp, meaning he couldnt set a time and had to start from P8 (this is a livetranslation of mine post qualifying, so the quote isnt 100% spot on but you get the gist)
max:
“the red flag was annoying, but it happens on streetcircuits. it just sucks, i will have to cope and move on.”
monaco gp, charles had an interview with canal+ for its 10 year anniversary with formula 1. he got asked to name 10 drivers hes the closest with
charles:
“pierre without a doubt, carlos, lando, george, alex albon, yuki, lewis, max aswell eventhough most people dont think its the case but it is! esteban, and lance.”
this is it for now, i am a bit tired but thank the tumblr lords you can change posts later on so i can update it with ease later on. enjoys besties 🫡
#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#verstappen#scuderiafemboy#charles leclerc#leclerc#lestappen#1633#ferrari#redbull racing#making this drained the life out of me#im so tired#but this is for the people who wanted it#live laugh love lestappen#oh right happy pride month besties
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How do each of the captains/first mate trio handle separation? (Plus the reunion sex afterwards must be INSANE…) examples: Law and Bepo being separated during Dressrosa, Luffy and Zoro during WCI/Wano (ish), Kid and Killer during the whole Wano thing…
luzo doesnt have over a decade under the belt so they handle it worst, kidkiller and lawbepo are so Mature and sure of each other theres rly barely concern despite my silly jokes.
LAUGHS at how easy luzo had it and yet their reunion was the most dramatic. Young couples amirite... altho sabaody separation now THATs traumatic but we won't talk abt it itll take ages
cute to think luffy getting his hands on zoro (further than the hug) the first chance they got, asking what hes been up to and smiling the whole time cuz hes so giddy, zoroooo its zoro hehehehe~~ moving against each other with practiced ease, not that they have wanted to have most efficient sex But clothing removal being unceremonious at the very least to feel skin on skin
skin to skin (or fur to skin in one case 😊😊) being the goal they get to in different ways.
where Kid and Killer have that - weve done this many many times muscle memory, there is that trembling that comes to having to deal with something potentially life altering.. (even tho i dismiss that Killer is messed up for life idc fuck you 0da he doesnt deserve this.) picture Killer reading all the guilt and pain on Kids face and smiling (a little, tenderly) because he is gonna heal his boy and he is happy to be alive to do it..he is too happy to be back in his place - living to support Kid, even if the thing thats tearing Kid apart is Killer's own pain - that can be put aside, what matters in that moment is pushing kid to familiar - he will press against his chest to straddle him, adore the surprise on Kid's face as he demands to be fucked while almost bursting into laugh at Kid's ridiculous expression that looks like he's abt to "are you sure?" him. no that won't do, aren't you trying to be a king, chin up
as for lawbepo i wrote so much abt it here
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ok ive been thinking about it a while but im thinking about angela again. specifically about the way she functions physically, as a machine.
during lobcorp, angela never really did much outside of the whole Perfect Assistant thing. can of worms, but it's not an immediately terribly physically demanding thing. and then, towards ruina, she becomes a bit more active, but still never participates in any of the receptions herself. and then theres the whole Becoming Human thing. but that's not really what im here about.
specifically, im curious if angela can even... get. hurt. at all. weve seen her get swung at a few times during ruina, but even those have their asterisks-- the library's protection, her becoming less mechanical, and so on-- but just on her own, is she just... fine? can she take physical damage?
what im getting at is, how is her upkeep? does she need to worry about any of that at all? i can see her being built to deal with a lot given um. the environment. but mechanics are a delicate thing-- even With the way the setting is. how would repairs even Work? and additionally, has she ever had to deal with them before?
and a step past that, how would they handle that post-lobcorp, when the people responsible for her, the ones who Know how she works, are um. not exactly. able. to. closest one is hokma, but... again, can of worms.
and then, talking about angela's thought processes, how she functions-- i can't imagine she's ever been like... off. for very long. if at all. she's spent a lot of time keeping everything together, keeping things in order, constantly storing and retrieving information and executing processes-- something like that must be pretty strange.
...am i making sense? what im saying is, theres something very interesting to be said about vulnerability, the symbolism of raw mechanics and technology behind a seemingly impenetrable surface of metal, of self-image and fallibility and trust and care.
can you see the line?
wounds can heal and scars can fade, but what about angela?
#piktalk#projmoon#icould be waffling on about nothing but i do Think.#in which General Worrying About Angela kinda spirals into something else.#how weird must it be; to undergo maintenance as a constantly-running process?#to spend so long constantly aware and running and making connections and on and on-- what would happen if she needed to switch off a while?#for someone running on high that intensely-- is the silence long? or is unconsciousness imperceptibly short? ...which is scarier?#and most importantly; to repeat words that still dig deep into my heart--#will she dream?#much to think about.
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WE ARE :D
okayokay and also a lot of it has to do w transness
i am a t4t gayboy and i met this other guy whos the coolest ever and hes also a gayboy (i dont think hes t4t but !!)
ESSENTIALLY, as is in true gay fashion, i became friends w him at the beginning of the school year, and weve gotten more and more close ever since.
i have my seminar with him, and every day during seminar we sit under the table and talk about life, and his favorite bands (which are now mine, because i like to steal the interests of the people i love) and its awesome. i love being around him, his presence is comforting.
on A days, i sit with him and a few friends at lunch, and the cafeteria is quite loud (and i have major overstimulation issues,) so sometimes ill get overwhelmed and he always notices and makes sure im okay, and sometimes when i don’t feel like i can do it, hell sit with me in the stairwell and let me talk about whats bothering me and he’ll just listen and give advice. On B days, during lunch, we just sit in a corner somewhere and talk. he’ll always listen and help me and ill so the same for him. if its not him comforting me, i get to talk to him and hear him ramble about his bands and his favorite things and i love the way he sounds when hes happy - i love the way his smile is so bright, and i love the way he looks when he gets embarrassed and realizes hes loud (i dont mind it - its not aggressive.)
every day after school, we hang out for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, just. coexisting. its awesome. i love him. and we spend this time working on hw together, and talking about the things we love.
i have a very all-over-the-place tumblr blog, which comes with a lot of yearning, because im lonely and in love. but this boy, my boy, my crush, follows me and we like constantly support each others blogs. so sometimes, ill post yearning posts and HE’LL REBLOG THEM 💞. maybe im overthinking it but like if were looking for the same things in a relationship.. i mean !! it cant mean nothing!! like the other day i reblogged a post that was like “all i need in life is a boy to lay on my lap and let me play with his hair” and he reblogged it with the tags “#all i need in life is a boy to let me lay on his lap and play with my hair” AND OMG??? LIKE MARRY ME UGH gosh this is so exhilirating.
also the other day i wrote him a long paragraph about how much i love him (we say “i love you” to each other consistently, presumably in a platonic way, but its never been specified or indicated, sadly :() and it was like (ill include a little excerpt)
“[…]nothing can come close to [describing] the feeling i get when im with you, not by a long shot. its so much stronger in a way that youd think it would have its own word, like how "a lot" has "a myriad," and ones stronger, more intentful, more meaningful. if there was a word that was as to love as myriad is to lot, my love for you would still be stronger. i am more than eternally grateful for your presence and where you have brought me since ive met you. talking to you has been the actual light of my life lately.” AND SO SO MUCH MORE IT WAS LIKE 700 WORDS LONG - AND IT WAS ALL LIKE THAT YK
and the next day i get this:
“I love you a alot (name). […] I love you so so much. […] I want to give you all that you deserve. Because people don't remind you of your actual worth. And if I can be a start to help you to that path, I'd be so fucking happy. I, more than anything need you to know just how much of an amazing person you are. […] I promise to always listen to you. Always. It's the least I could do. You're an amazing person <3” WITH A LOT MORE BUT I CUT A LOT OF IT FOR WORDS SSKE BUT AAAAAA HE WROTE ME A PARAGRAPH!!!!!!
ALSO we call almost every night and i always text him good morning and hes the awesomest and i love spending time with him.
sometimes i also get text exchanges where i say “text me when you get home” and he says “im not home but i just couldnt wait <3” AAAAAAAAAAA
and “wish i had a boy to hold me n warm me up <//3” and he said “i volunteer as tribute!” AAAAAA
i think the point of this is i dont feel like he likes me back but im in love w the man dude like the other day he let me lay on his shoulder and he played w my hair and i nuzzled into his neck a bit and he giggled and i was like “hm?” and he said “youre adorable” AAAAAAAAAA SOBBFIANDBSJ and i just buried my red ass face in his neck and he giggled at me again and i said fuck you and UGH i love him so much and all i wanna do is just be his i just wanna be his boy and he can be mine and we can be boyfriends!!!
and also hes also so awesome because he makes me feel so validated and sometimes when i like my outfit ill send him pics of it and he’ll say “you look very boy / very cis” and ill be like “no” and sometimes hell tell me how i look cis and sometimes hell say he wishes i could see myself the way he sees me. i wish i could understand how he sees me. i wanna know how he thinks of me, i wanna know if hed ever love me the way i love him!! i love him. so much. id do anything for him.
thank u for letting me ramble, i needed to get it out of my system because i cant tell anyone else cause theyd tell him but god i love him. so much.
p.s. if you see this, i love you dude. youll know its you. if you dont love me back, just . idk . act like u never saw it ty <3
-🧷
send me an updated ask when u two get together
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of all the things to just not bring up again about the events of kings tide, im surprised to see that luz being very nearly petrified didnt make that cut. like, she was seconds or less from being irreversibly turned into a statue, while nobody was around to help, completely at the mercy of belos.
sure, we saw this once before with eda, at the end of season 1, but shes a full grown adult, with a lot more experience being transformed against her will (what with the curse and all), and she had at least a whole day to come to terms with her impending demise, not to mention the years shes known she had it coming.
not luz. shes a child, the closest experience she had to this body horror was when she bodyswapped with eda for an afternoon, and she had maybe a minute, tops, between when her petrification was started on a whim and when it wouldve been complete. she was just a kid trying to convince an old bastard to stop his religiously-motivated genocide.
and somehow, she kept a cool head, cool enough to find a way out, cool enough to talk her executioner into stopping, and cool enough to turn the situation around on him right afterwards, flawed though that plan ended up being.
luz seems to have become the kind of person to be remarkably calm and competent under life-threatening pressure, only to pass that dread into the future. we saw this near the end of season 1 when she managed to walk all the way from the emperors castle to the owl house before finally breaking down, again when she was run ragged at the blight expo before coming home and crashing, and another time when she broke down as soon as the action stopped after the trip into the emperors mind.
ever since the end of season 1, she hasnt done a lot of panicking under duress like she used to do (like running away during the duel at the covention, and running from grom, to name a few), but she almost always brings it up again eventually, from her pride over the piece of the emperors mask she chipped off in their first fight, to the constant angst about the revelations in hollow mind, she clearly processes the emotions from those scenarios eventually.
not so with her petrification.
i suppose i can chalk it up to another casualty of the cut, but its really a huge shame that all we get to worry about from the events of kings tide is "the child god is running loose on the boiling isles while were stuck on earth, unable to ensure the safety of our loved ones", and then theres the whole new/old thing of belos somehow still being around, and it just feels so disconnected from that plot.
their time on earth couldve been a deeply emotional unpacking of all the stuff theyve been going through while they try to make it back, mixed with whatever adventures can be had, repeated failures and lingering repression leading up to luz's attempted narrative suicide, but instead we got "look how sad this all is, but look at all the fun times weve had, but now look how much sadder luz still is than everyone else, despite all those fun times we just showed you, and wOAH WATCH OUT! BELOS!"
idunno, one of the biggest reasons ive gotten into fanfic in the last month has been to explore the emotional consequences of all that stuff. one of my favorite oft-overlooked traumas is that luz had to endure the encroaching effects of a rather horrific death while simultaneously lying her way out of it, succeeding by such a small margin that it may as well have been a fluke that she survived at all. lots of potential for angsty nightmares and such, but none of it explored.
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#emperor belos#toh spoilers#season 3 spoilers#thanks to them
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Oh those fabio thought, i need sleep so bad but all i can think of is bestest boy himbo fabio.
Like theres so many pictures of him on having like hotgirlsummer vibes, just him on a boat with you and wearing nothing but his collar and sunscreen. Lying in the shade on the warmest and sunniest parts of the day as you edge him, getting dressed to go to dinner and him not having to think even out around people,just chilling and folöowing you.
Also re clothes would ds au Fabio be into lingerie? Weve established hes got several collars to mixand match with his outfits, but does he like wear your panties or more like lingerie made for men? Cause fitting issues. Hed look very pretty in lace. And painted nails.
Cheers and soon zzzz🏍 anon
After the fucking chaos of today’s sprint, I think we all need some soft smutty Fabio thoughts (also I’ve been in such a Fabio mood lately lads please keep indulging by sub!fabio obsession).
Firstly, Fabio THRIVES on holiday with you. He insists on getting at least a few days with you alone, so that he can be shamelessly horny with you on a boat. He must be horny with you on a boat for at least 4 days during every break. Yes this is a requirement.
Absolutely adore the idea that he’s naked except for his collar. Honestly I think that’s fabio’s standard outfit at home with you? Or at least, it would be if Andorra wasnt so fucking cold all the time.
So when it’s just you two in a boat somewhere sunny and warm? Clothes are absolutely optional. Bonus points if you decide to sunbathe topless because Fabio will lose his fucking mind.
And of course he must have sunscreen on!! You carefully monitor how much time he spends in the sun and how much sunscreen he wears, never letting him spend too long in the sun when the sun is at its peak and making sure he waits for the sunscreen to settle before he goes in the water, etc.
If you weren’t there this would never get done. But because you’re there and you’re his Dom and you’re telling him what to do and putting on sunscreen for him and praising him for listening…. Yeah he’ll do it. He’ll do literally whatever you say.
(Sidenote: you keep this up when all his friends join and this has the absolutely hilarious consequence of you accidentally ending up managing Tony’s sun exposure too because he just does whatever Fabio does)
But anyway, he’s very happy. He gets so much time in the sun and so much attention and it’s the best. You edge him throughout the day and even though it drives him insane, he absolutely loves it.
I also think he gives you head all the time? Just you and Fabio on the deck, Fabio eating you out and grinding against the couch you’re laying on. He’s completely naked and he’s got your swimsuit pulled to the side for access. You’ve got your hand in his hair and your leg over his shoulder and he’s in absolute heaven. Absolutely zero thoughts.
And then going for dinner!! He’s smiles all round the entire evening. He doesn’t even look at the menu because you make all the decisions and he just hands over the card at the end of the meal like the good boy he is.
And ok ok we need to talk about lingerie for a second:
I think it’s the one aspect of fashion that Fabio is actually insecure about? He’ll wear the most outrageous outfits that truly make your eyes hurt without a care in the world, but he can’t even hold a pair of panties without crying.
That being said, he wants to wear them!! So badly!! Specifically he wants to wear them for you!! He wants to match lingerie with his collar and present himself you like a pretty present for you to unwrap and play with.
But there’s something so… vulnerable about that fantasy of his? It’s not the same as wearing a ridiculous outfit because he thinks it looks good. This is…. This is about being pretty for his Dom. And he’s so scared.
I think you’d have to bring it up? Like one day you’re going over kink lists because you like to do that every couple of months to make sure you’re both on the same page. And to your surprise, Fabio stutters when you say feminisation. He’s never shown any interest before and he’s certainly never liked humiliation so you’re a little confused.
But slowly but surely he begins to open up about his fantasy and well… he’d look so pretty.
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Aw dammit, you guys are makin me wanna post this now(10:05) instead of 11:00, but im strong lmao (WARNING, long post ahead)
Anyways, i wanted to start this post off, by giving a thanks to all the truly wonderful people ive met on this platform from this year, last year, when i first joined, and the years to come. Youve all made my experience here wonderful, and to be honest youve made me feel so very very welcomed, and especially loved.
I came to this (wonderful)hellsite during a really lonely time in my life. A few years ago, around the later days of june, 2019, looking for more undertale content. What i didn't expect to find at all, were all the wonderful people im so so so very glad to now call my friends.
All of you, and i mean all, of you invited and welcomed me into your blogs with open arms, kindness, and silly jokes. Even going to the lengths introducing me to your other friends and making me apart of your friend groups. And...i genuinely cannot express how thankful i am for that.
Im so serious, i feel so loved and cared for every single day now, i always have someone to vent or talk with, someone to joke and ramble with, so many people that ive intertwined into this little online family of mine.
Weve all been through..a lot these past three years. What, with covid, loss, hate, and so much more. What im grateful for, is that i havent lost any of you, which not only am i suprised about, but also so grateful. You guys make me feel like the best verison of myself, and make me feel..well..me. we've all stuck together and looked out for each other, helped each other out with our problems, and shared art and stories.
Ive had the pleasure of meeting some very fine, brilliant, and respectable people thus far, and have had the honor of talking with some astonishing young friends. Ive even had the pleasure of gaining followers, and have received fanart of my own characters!! Which, i would have never guess would have happened. Ever. And yet it did, and that means so much to me.
So i suppose what im trying to do, or well..say here, is that all of you have turned my life for the better, and id like to thank you for that.
Thank you, @let-love-run-red @ratsoh-writes @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut @vrnicky @a-gods-somewhat-mortal-form @icelingbolt @shimmer-lamp and @glaucus22 for being my very first friends in here, for welcoming me so warmly, and sharing your art and introducing me to so many cool people. I wouldn't have had as good as an experienced as ive had with you to have shown me kindness in the way the way you did
Thank you @glitchysquidd for giving me the honor of seeing your artwork, and goofing off with me from time to time.
Thank you @mochamashi @kuvvydraws and @underfell-crystal for being so nice to me, and taking time out of your days to chat and listen to my stupid little jokes
Thank you @luminawithherdaemonlinh @wisteria-and-crocuses and again @mochamashi for all the fanart youve sent me iver the months, and all the kind and craziness youve shown me. Thanks for going on crazy little rants with me wisteria, and a big thank to you lumnia for supporting me and my art for so long
Thank you @shimmer-lamp for being there with me since day one, for letting me vent and trusting me enough to confide in me at times.
Thank you @rainbowut @the1920sisntaphasemom and @scienceisfood for giving me so many ideas and laughter, i really do appreciate you guys and i feel as if i dont say it enough. You guys so are hilarious- seriously, i appreciate it
Thank you so so much @hearty-dose-of-ranch @kioko-noodles @fruitsnackart @skele-fucker @sendryl and @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut taking me in your friendgroup so fast, and so warmly. Before you guys took me in, all of you inspired me and my art so much...i could hardly believe i was actually talking to you guys and was considered a friend??! My hands were shakey, my breath was wobbly, and yet you guys never thought twice about including me. You all have been there for me since ive met you, you all have (patiently)listened to my stuttering and ramblings without a second thought, youve all introduced me to so many cool things and have made me feel so so loved..i cant possibly thank you enough. Youve done so much for me
Thank you @ratsoh-writes for enduring my chaos and bad jokes. Youve made my dumbass feel incredibly welcomed, not to mention being such a big fuckin inspiration??? Youre one of the reasons i started to get confident in my art man. Ive used your art as references so much- and youve been such a good friend to me as well?? Be angry about me gettin muchy all you want, i love you ya stinky sewer varmit.
Thank you @springbon-t-art for showing me kindess even more since i joined the hellscape that is tumblr. Youve showed me nothing less then gentle smiles and kind words, and i thank you for that. Your art has inspired me for years, and most likely years to come from now. So thank you for inspiring me enough to pick up a pencil and start scribbling down on the floorboards
And a big big thank you to @let-love-run-red love...i dont even know where to begin. You've helped me through so much, you've inspired and taught me so much fuckin stuff...you've been one of the best damn friends i could ever have. You've supported me and my cringe drawings since the day i entered your inbox as that shy little anon on that late August day.
Hell, you're the damn reason i started writing. I still remember the tips you given me, all the advice and confidence. And i sincerely thank you for that. You have shown me nothing other then kindness and hardcore support. And i cannot express how much that means to me
And theres so many more people i have yet to thank but unfortunately cannot due to tag limits and my memory. Id have to make another post and make sure i havent forgotten anyone lmao, but thank you all!! To my close moots and followers, to the big inspirations ive yet to summon up the courage to talk to
I seriously, would have not made it this far without you dorks, and i sincerely, and genuinely, hope ive made an impact at least a fragment of the size you guys have made on me. Thank you all for giving me a place to call home on this little site.
Right now the time is 10:41 as i wrap this up, so im gonna go ahead and post this(probably willl be 11 or 12 by the time you twerps get to this point lmao)
So HAPPY NEW YEARS!!
And happy many years to come!!! I cant wait to see what this years brings us, what bonds strengthen and friends we'll meet. Thank you for the wild ride and for all the adventures to come!!
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thinking about telling my new friend almost date partner ish about the system. weve all been talking about it, but weve never told anyone before.
how did you go about telling miss white? and like having each individual alter meet when they were ready ?
I'm so sorry for not answering this sooner! I saw it and wanted to formulate an answer but then lost it in the shuffle. I know this is probably too late and I am very sorry about that, but I can share what I can say on it. If you have already had the conversation I would certainly be opening to hearing how it went.
The thing about how Miss White and I met, and how the conversation went. On the first meeting we talked for quite some time. Eventually trans topics were brought up which prompted Kyra to switch forth. The talk of gender fluidity lead easily into the concepts of plurality.
During this time we only had 3 alters, the core three of Jak, Kyra, and Ian. Luna came forth during a time when Jak was so depressed that he disappeared entirely, diving into a deep part of our subconscious so much it he was practically gone. When he came back Luna came with him, and it was odd at first but since she was such a minimal immpact of alter it was easy for Miss White to understand that new alters form.
Atom was a bit of a different story, as he came forth in order to protect her (I will be doing a comic about this sometime soon) and so the connection was there instantly. Though his serious nature made her believe (rightly so to an extent) that he was closed off to her. But through patience and trust she eased his entrance to being a conscious being. (Panel 2 below)
It's not exactly typical, her and my relationship, she was very receptive and easily understood the complex parts of living with D.I.D/O.S.D.D and I know that's a best case scenario.
I don't know how applicable the advice I can give but here goes; Honesty goes a long way and can often liberate one's self. Having good communication is crucial with any relationship, and a plural one exponentially so. It will be clear if the person isn't receptive, but that's not to say they always will not be. Patience is a very good tool in relationships.
but again, I may not be the best people to ask, I think I lucked out. But that's not to say that you can't luck out too. :)
Again, I am so sorry for letting this slip through the cracks. If you have already had that talk I would love to hear how it went, you can message me privately, or reblog this and share it for others to see.
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hey! me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months now ans i love her to death. we both see a future together and despite certain hiccups weve had here and there, we always find a way to work through them and become better partners for each other. however the past few months our sex like has been suffering (at least on my part) because she's been so stressed due to outside factors and her libido is considerably lower than before. i havent pushed her to have sex with me (i am a SA and also r*pe victim so i am extra careful about consent and i would rather walk on hot coals than put her or anyone else through what i went through) and ive tried to be respectful despite the fact that she always says no whenever i try to initiate something and we rarely have sex now. she knows its affecting me and feels very guilty about it, which ive told her on numerous occasions that she shouldnt because im not entitled to sex or anything of the kind from her. thing is that despite the fact that im scared to tell her, this is affecting me in more ways than i can manage. it's fucking up my self esteem, making me feel unwanted (because even though the reason for her lack of sex drive isnt me and i know she finds me to be the most beautiful girl in the world, im the one that always gets rejected and she always looks so guilty when saying no) and kind of gross for wanting sex. i feel so disconnected from her in that area and i crave that kind of intimacy and closeness with her so much. plus getting rejected every time stops me from saying no if shes offering and i dont feel up to it, because i don't know when else ill get to be that close to her agan like that so i just do it. i very much enjoy it still but its messing me up that our sex like is suffering like this. most of all, im so unreasonably sad and angry and ive been having horrible mood swings because of it, which affect my ability to be a good partner to her and give her space to talk about her things. its making me hate myself and idk what to do about it. im sorry for the long post, but i need advice as im scared to tell her how much its affecting me in fear of making her feel guilty or coerced. i love her so much. any advice?
Hi love! Mismatched libidos are so tough to navigate in a relationship, even if it's common (at least at some point or another). It's truly commendable that you have such a healthy, respectable take on the situation (unfortunately, so many people feel more entitled to sex from their partners than they would like to admit), so I can see how healthy your relationship is! I totally get why this situation makes you feel undesired, it's only human, so validating this feeling of yours.
Here's my take on how to create intimacy and a closer sexual connection without actual sex when one partner (or both honestly) isn't in the mood:
Do A Sexy Photoshoot: Both wear your hottest outfits and lingerie and take photos like you're each others' muses (because you are!). It can be a hot activity on its own, a steamy way to initiate more foreplay, or to use as souvenirs when you need some self-care time to satisfy your sexual needs.
Give each other sensual massages: Candles, sexy music, sensual smelling oils, the works.
Ask for a dirty talk or sexy recording: Even if your partner isn't in the mood, it doesn't mean she won't be happy to communicate her desires for you verbally. You can listen to it when turned on to feel more connected generally or to use it during a self-pleasure session.
Discuss fantasies and unexplored desires: Nothing is hotter than talking about new things you want to try (besides actually doing them, of course). Either you feel closer from this steamy conversation or you get your closeness on a more physical level after you're both hot and bothered.
Schedule regular date nights: Never forget to arouse other pleasure centers: A delicious meal, wine, sensual music, candles, and musky perfume. Create tension and connection – whether dessert includes something sweet or slightly tangier.
Also, as an important note: I'm a heterosexual woman, so I'm speaking from a general place of how to manage mismatched libidos through a heteronormative lens. Anyone in the WLW who wants to correct me on anything, please do, and feel free to teach me more about these relationship dynamics to help the community!
Hope this helps xx
#femme fatale#dark femininity#dark feminine energy#it girl#dream girl#queen energy#sex and relationships#sexuality#relationship advice#libido#seduction#femmefatalevibe
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