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hamsterclaw · 3 years

Text

Open Chest

Namjoon and you were in medical school together, but you haven't seen him since you moved away for work. Until he turns up at your hospital for a fellowship.

Pairing: Namjoon x F!reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: Non-idol AU, smut, fluff, angst.

Word count: 15k total over 3 parts

Warnings: Sexually explicit content, explicit language, mentions of blood and medical procedures.

Part 1

I pushed open the door and slid into one of the chairs around the conference table, making eye contact with my friend Mel before taking a sip of my flat white. It was early autumn. I half-listened as the night team went over the patients and the plan for the day. I’d worked the weekend prior and knew my patients pretty well already.

After handover Mel caught up with me outside the unit. ‘Good weekend?’ she asked.

‘Would have been better if Chan had stayed at home,’ I muttered, dropping my empty coffee cup into the bin. Dr Chan was one of the attendings and notorious for being clinically excellent yet incapable of behaving like a decent human being.

Mel rolled her eyes. ‘Let me guess – he stayed in and pissed off all the nurses?’

I laughed. ‘That’s standard for him. He also pissed off half the staff in the ER. He was only there for 30 minutes before I convinced him to go. For his safety and mine. How was your weekend?’

Mel grinned. ‘I met up with Tae.’ I alco-gelled my hands as we passed through the unit doors.

‘Sounds fun,’ I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

‘It was,’ Mel smirked. ‘Tell you about it later’. Tae was Mel’s newest boyfriend, an incredibly good-looking yet unbelievably cocky orthopaedics fellow. Despite his general fuckboy demeanour, he was kind and funny and, as Mel put it, incredibly kinky in bed. I had no doubt she would fill me in later.

The rest of the morning was spent reviewing patients, organising scans and contacting other teams for consults. I was at the hub waiting for a call back when I sensed a shadow over my screen.

‘I’m here for the chest closure,’ said a voice. I looked up, slightly panicked as the bedside nurse and I were only halfway through getting things ready for the closure. My eyes met a pair of brown eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses. The eyes crinkled up at the corners, and I knew if I could see behind the surgical mask, I would see twin dimples on either side of a devastatingly handsome smile.

‘Namjoon?’ I stuttered.

‘Y/N,’ he replied.

Holy fucking shit. If there was anyone from my past I was not expecting to see, it was Kim fucking Namjoon.

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, my eyes running from the top of his ash-grey hair to the thin silver chain round his neck to the expanse of tan chest exposed by the V-neck of his standard issue blue hospital scrubs, down his long legs to the white Nikes on his feet.

I hadn’t seen him in 10 years, and whilst I had spent those years in the depths of paediatric intensive care, apparently Namjoon had spent those years becoming the fucking hot older brother to the scruffy nerdy lab partner I had in medical school.

I flushed as I realised that whilst I had been looking him up and down, he had been doing the same to me.

‘I’ve just started,’ Namjoon replied. ‘I’m the new cardiothoracics fellow.’ His eyes met mine. ‘So you’re an intensivist?’

‘Well my neuroticism had to be good for something,’ I joked, standing up. I paused, looking at him and trying to decide what to say.

‘The patient,’ I blurted out, immediately wanting to kick myself, ‘I’ll take you to them. We're just getting drugs ready so it’ll be another 15 minutes before we can start.’ It looked like Namjoon was going to say something else, but I was already heading towards my patient, and so he fell into step behind me.

‘This is Namjoon from cardiothoracics,’ I told Nina, the bedside nurse, ‘he’s here to do the chest closure.’

Nina gave me the same panicked glance I had given Namjoon. ‘Our drugs aren’t ready!’ she squeaked.

Namjoon chuckled, holding up his hands. ‘Don’t worry guys, I’ll be doing it with Francesco, so we can’t start yet. I just wanted to see the patient beforehand.’

Nina and I exchanged a glance. ‘I’ll get prescribing, then I can help you draw them up,’ I said.

I turned to walk back to the hub, pausing by Namjoon.

‘It’s lovely to see you,’ I said, realising too late how close I was standing to him. I tilted my head back to meet his eyes. Had he always been so tall? He looked down at me, eyes crinkling at the corners.

‘Likewise,’ he said, and I felt myself flush again. What was wrong with me? I beat a hasty retreat to the nearest free computer. Today was turning out to be an interesting day.

************************************************************************

I pulled off my scrub hat, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was five past one and we had just finished the chest closure. My stomach rumbled. I had got home at 11 the previous night, and apart from the flat white I had bolted in handover, I hadn’t eaten since 6 the previous evening.

Namjoon and Francesco had finished the chest closure and disappeared, whilst I had remained by the bed until the surgical drapes came off my patient. It was just as well – it hadn’t been difficult to pay attention during the procedure, but as the patient was relatively stable, I had found my gaze wandering to Namjoon more often than was probably acceptable in normal societal interaction.

Mel paused next to me. ‘Lunch?’ she suggested.

‘Sounds good,’ I replied. ‘I just need to order this chest X-ray.’

Mel glanced over, then her vision snapped to a point behind me.

I turned. Namjoon was standing there, loupes and hat off. His scrub hat had left a little pressure line across his forehead, and his hair was slightly mussed. I looked at him quizzically.

‘Lunch?’ he said. I tilted my head at him.

He looked at his feet. ‘I mean,’ he said, ‘would you like to grab some lunch?’

Mel was already picking up the phone. ‘I’ll order the X-ray. See you after lunch!’ she chirped.

I looked at her and she smiled back. ‘Sure,’ I said casually. ‘Have you got yours with you or do you need to buy something to eat?’ I knew the answer already. Having spent a lot of weekends studying with Namjoon in medical school, I was aware that his culinary skills were feeble at best. Namjoon snorted and we both laughed, and for a moment I felt the years fall away.

‘Let me introduce you to the hellhole that is the staff canteen,’ I said. Namjoon held out his arm, and I gave only the briefest of pauses before placing my hand in the crook of his, surprisingly firm, arm.

‘I’ll be back soon,’ I told Mel, who only smiled sweetly at me. ‘Take your time,’ she said innocently. ‘There’s nothing else to do this afternoon anyway.’

I let go of Namjoon’s arm as we left the unit, leading him down the stairwell to the canteen. ‘The options are dire at best,’ I warned.

Namjoon smiled at me. ‘I think you know I eat everything,’ he replied, holding the door open for me as we entered the noise and heat of the canteen. His words triggered a flashback to the last summer before graduation, when he and I had been two of only a few students left on campus during the summer holidays.

I looked sharply at him, but he was perusing the options under the heated lamps, a moderately appalled look in his eyes.

‘There’s sandwiches in that fridge,’ I suggested, pointing. We settled for jacket potatoes and nabbed an outside table. Namjoon pulled off his surgical mask, as did I.

‘Wow,’ he said, and the warmth in his gaze made me feel strangely trembly. ‘You look the same.’

‘Tired and stressed?’ I suggested lightly, smiling at him.

‘Pretty,’ he countered. ‘And also tired.’

I stabbed my plastic fork into my potato to hide the awkwardness I felt at his compliment.

‘You’re the pretty one now,’ I joked. ‘What’s with the K-pop idol hair?’

He ran his fingers through his short ash-grey hair self-consciously. ‘Is it too much?’

‘No,’ I said, sincerely, ‘it suits you. It’s a good look.’

Namjoon scoffed, stuffing his mouth full of beans.

‘We have a lot of things to catch up on. How do we even begin?’ I wondered.

‘I guess we’ll have to keep meeting up,’ Namjoon replied, dimpling at me. ‘I’m here for the year.’

Over lunch, I found out that Namjoon had worked in London after our graduation, then moved back to Seoul, where he had been working when he had accepted the cardiothoracics fellowship he was currently on.

As I returned to the unit, I logged onto the computer beside where Mel was tapping away at the soft-touch keyboard. Mel glanced over. I could feel the tips of my ears turning red.

‘Yes?’ I mumbled, tugging at my surgical mask awkwardly.

‘So….he’s a bit of a snack, isn’t he?’

I laughed. ‘God, Mel. Isn’t he?’

‘Fucking gorgeous,’ Mel laughed. ‘How do you know him? And do you have his number?’

‘Hold up! What about Tae?’ I spluttered.

‘Well, if you hadn’t ditched me for lunch, I would have told you about the latest thing I’ve discovered about Tae, which is that he doesn’t mind sharing,’ Mel smirked.

‘Fucking Taehyung,’ I said drily, ‘a saint among men.’

Mel chuckled. ‘Isn’t he? Don’t worry though, I saw the way cardiothoracics man looked at you. I don’t think I could compete.’

‘His name is Namjoon,’ I replied, tamping down the faint thrill I felt at the idea that Namjoon would have looked at me a certain way.

‘OOOOOOH, Namjooooooon,’ Mel hooted, bursting into giggles.

‘Fuck’s sake Mel, this is an ICU. Keep it professional.’ I scolded. Our eyes met and we both laughed.

Then something occurred to me. ‘Wait! How did you find out Tae likes sharing?’ I asked, intrigued.

************************************************************************

I next saw Namjoon when he came down to the PICU with a patient he had operated on. He stood next to me and we exchanged a smile as we waited for the anaesthetics team to transfer the patient into a bed. ‘How’ve you been?’ he asked.

‘Yeah good,’ I replied, blinking up at him. ‘Been to the canteen lately?’

Namjoon shuddered visibly. ‘I can’t believe you took me to that place. I pick up lunch at the supermarket before I come in now.’

I snorted with laughter. ‘It wasn’t that bad!’

‘It was worse,’ Namjoon said flatly.

Pointed throat clearing caught our attention. ‘Are we ready for handover?’ asked the cardiac anaesthetist, Tom.

‘Yes, sorry,’ I replied meekly. Namjoon nodded slightly, lifting a hand in apology.

After handover, I was heading to a computer to order investigations when I heard shuffling from behind me.

‘Lunch?’

I turned and Namjoon grinned at me. ‘I have a spare salad,’ he said casually.

I looked at the wall clock. ‘It’s barely 11 am!’

‘So?’ Namjoon asked. ‘I’ve been operating for the past 3 hours.’

‘I can’t,’ I say regretfully. ‘I’ve got a tonne of jobs to do from handover.’

Namjoon’s face fell.

‘Maybe a coffee later? I’m on a long day,’ I said quickly, before I could overthink it.

Namjoon smiled. ‘I’m on call from 5. Text me when you’re free?’

‘Sure,’ I said. He looked like he was about to say something else, then he reached out and touched my neck.

I looked at him quizzically. He held up a scrap of white plastic. ‘Your apron,’ he explained, ‘this was stuck to the back of your neck.’

My neck felt warm where he had touched me. ‘Occupational hazard,’ I muttered.

‘See you later,’ Namjoon said. I watched as he tossed the scrap into a pedal bin on his way out, his easy gait and broad shoulders evident even in hospital scrubs.

I clapped a hand over my face. What was I doing? I had no idea whether he had a girlfriend or fiancée, and here I was, developing a crush.

‘Keep it together, Y/L/N,’ I said sternly to myself.

‘Y/N,’ called a nurse, and I headed in her direction, grateful for the distraction from standing there fantasizing about Kim Namjoon.

************************************************************************

I leaned back in my seat, laughing. The on-call attending was Dr Black, who was possessed of an inappropriately morbid sense of humour that I could definitely relate to.

‘And so, I said, I don’t mean to be rude, but can somebody do some fucking CPR on this kid,’ he said.

‘You didn’t say that,’ I countered.

‘Yes, I fucking did,’ chortled Dr Black gleefully. He paused and looked over my shoulder.

‘Can I help?’ he asked politely. I turned.

‘Yes,’ said Namjoon. ‘I just came to see if Y/N was free for a coffee.’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Dr Black replied. ‘We work them pretty hard on PICU. I am not sure that’s allowed.’

I snorted. ‘This is Namjoon, the new cardiothoracics fellow, Dr Black. Namjoon, this is Dr Black, an elderly attending.’

‘I’m not that old,’ said Dr Black indignantly.

‘And yes, I am free for coffee, does anyone want me to pick them up anything?’ I asked, getting up.

Dr Black ignored me. ‘So you’re cardiothoracics are you?’ he asked, nodding to Namjoon.

‘Yes, here for the year on fellowship,’ replied Namjoon politely. ‘I’ve just started.’

‘Settling in ok? How do you know Y/N?’

‘We went to medical school together,’ I explained. ‘Then we lost touch until he started here.’

‘Well, welcome,’ said Dr Black, smiling kindly. ‘Don’t listen to anything Y/N says about me.’

Namjoon laughed, ‘I won’t.’

‘And on that note, let’s go Namjoon,’ I said, pulling on his arm to get him to move. Namjoon allowed me to guide him down to the coffee shop tucked in a corner of the hospital.

‘Seems like a nice guy,’ Namjoon remarked as we settled in with our coffees.

‘Yes, he’s great,’ I replied, ‘most of the attendings are, apart from one.’

‘Which one?’ asked Namjoon.

‘Oh, his name is Dr Chan, you’ll know him when you see him. He is great clinically but is a total dick to basically everyone,’ I explained.

‘Even you?’ asked Namjoon, his jaw tensing.

I paused, looking for the right words to explain. ‘He is an indiscriminate dick,’ I said lightly, sipping my coffee.

Namjoon’s expression darkened. ‘I’ll look out for him,’ is all he said.

I sat back in my chair, sighing. ‘How’s your day been, busy?’

Namjoon started to reply, and my gaze dropped to his beautiful hands holding his coffee cup. He had always had lovely hands, long fingers, well-delineated veins. My gaze travelled up his arms, defined biceps just visible under the shortish sleeves of his scrubs top.

Suddenly I realised he had stopped talking. My eyes snapped to his.

Namjoon smirked. ‘Are you checking me out?’

I met his gaze steadily. ‘Yes, you’re a straight hottie,’ I replied, and we both laughed.

‘You were always the hot one, Y/N,’ Namjoon said. ‘How many guys did you date in medical school?’ He paused. ‘At the same time?’

I laughed, flushing slightly at his reference to my past history of overlapping. ‘I guess you’ve made up for lost time since med school?’

Namjoon grinned at me, dimples flashing. ‘What are you talking about? I looked good in a lab coat.’

I snorted. ‘The problem was never the way you looked, Namjoon. It was the way you shouted out answers in every pathology class. The way you participated so enthusiastically in every PBL seminar. Admit it, you were a total nerd.’

Namjoon smirked. ‘Got in your pants, though,’ he said quietly.

I leaned over to smack him on the arm. ‘Rude!’

And just like that, I flashed back to his attic bedroom in a shared house we had to ourselves for the summer. The way he had looked over one lazy day and how, unable to help myself, I had kissed his dimpled cheek. One thing had led to another and the next thing I knew we were in his rumpled sheets, his warm breath on my neck, his hips rolling against mine…

Namjoon looked at me, tilting his head to one side and flashing the dimple in his left cheek. ‘Good times, huh,’ he said, voice low, that familiar deep tenor making my stomach flip.

I was saved from answering when his bleep went off. ‘You should get that,’ I said, hastily getting up. Namjoon gazed up at me, hand on his phone to answer his page. He looked like he had more to say but I was already putting my surgical mask back on to leave.

************************************************************************

It was heaving. I kept my eyes on the monitoring as I pushed the ambulance trolley with our latest admission through the hospital corridors, heading to PICU. I was back from my second retrieval of the day, having collected a collapsed baby from a nearby hospital to admit to PICU.

As we arrived on the unit, the consultant of the day, Dr Sycombe, looked up. ‘You’re back,’ she said by way of greeting. ‘Is the baby ok?’

‘Yes, pretty stable,’ I replied, pushing the trolley into the allocated bedspace and turning to her as the ambulance tech and the nurse started transferring the pumps and monitoring over.

‘Do you want the good news or the bad news?’ Dr Sycombe asked.

‘No bad news allowed,’ said Seb, the ambulance tech, voice testy. I just waited.

‘Well the good news, is that you can come in a couple of hours late for your shift tomorrow.’ The nurse, a calm dark haired petite woman called Lucy, was already putting the pieces together.

‘Where are you sending us to next?’ she asked, voice resigned. It was 6pm and another trip meant we were all going to finish late. The only question was how late.

Dr Sycombe told us and there was a collective sigh of relief. The hospital was 40 minutes away, which meant we were likely to be back at base only a couple of hours past the end of our shift time.

‘I’ll just get a quick snack before we go,’ said Lucy.

Seb was already on the phone. ‘I’ll get Matt to refuel the ambulance whilst we transfer this little one over.’

‘I’ll take care of handover,’ I said, nodding to Lucy and Seb whilst we started transferring the patient over into his new cot.

As I set up the ventilator, Angela the bedside nurse turned to me. ‘Oh, that cardiothoracics fellow was asking after you earlier,’ she said, setting up a pump. I glanced over.

‘Which one?’ I asked.

Angela chuckled. ‘The one literally everyone swoons over whenever he turns up? The tall one with the shoulders.’

I laughed at the idea of everyone lusting over Namjoon. ‘He was such a nerd in med school,’ I told Angela.

‘Oh,’ squealed Ruby, another nurse who was helping. ‘Do you think if I ask him for help with my cardiac course, he might give me some tutoring?’

‘What kind of ‘tutoring’?’ snorted Angela, raising an eyebrow. We all laughed at that, and then it was time to leave.

I got back in record time – it was before 11 when I left the unit. I strode through the deserted car park, already thinking about the pizza I was going to order after my shower. I pressed on the ignition, waiting for the familiar rev of the engine, and was greeted by silence. It took me about 10 tries to accept that my car wouldn’t start.

I grabbed my phone, ready to look up the number of the roadside assistance service I paid for, when a car parked in the space next to mine. I looked over automatically, shielding my eyes against the glare of the headlamps.

‘Namjoon,’ I squeaked. He gestured to his window, making a rolling down motion. I rolled down my window.

‘You ok?’ he asked.

‘Oh yeah,’ I replied, ‘I’m ok. It’s just my car won’t start. Do you have any jumper cables?’

‘No. Are you back in tomorrow?’

‘Yes, such a pain! I’m going to call the AA,’ I replied, waving my phone.

‘Well why don’t you let me give you a lift and you can sort it tomorrow?’ he suggested.

‘I live an hour away. I can just get a cab.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ he said, unlocking his doors. ‘It’s late. I live 5 minutes away, just stay over at mine and I’ll drive you back in tomorrow.’

I hesitated, but the idea of a hot shower and something to eat was too tempting. ‘Are you sure?’

By way of reply, Namjoon reached over and pushed his door open. I grabbed the small overnight bag of toiletries I left in my car for contingencies and got in.

‘Wow,’ I said, admiring his leather seats. ‘Nice car.’

Namjoon looked over at me. ‘Yeah, it’s a lease, I figured I’m here for a year, might as well get a nice car whilst I’m over here.’

‘Have you had dinner?’ I asked, settling into the seat. His stomach growled in response. I reached over and patted his abdomen.

‘Guess not,’ I said, giggling. I paused and we both looked down at my hand resting on him. His taut, firm abdomen. Oh my god! What was I doing? I jerked my hand back like I’d been scalded.

Namjoon smiled at me. ‘Nothing you haven’t felt before,’ he remarked, pulling the car out of the car park.

‘You weren’t packing those before,’ I replied. ‘Namjoon got buff.’ I meant it to be teasing but when our eyes met, his gaze was heated.

‘Like what you felt?’ he asked lightly. I looked away nervously.

‘I think I am disinhibited with hunger,’ I told him, picking up my phone. ‘Pizza?’

Namjoon insisted on letting me shower first while he waited for the pizza. His flat was small and cosy, and his bathroom surprisingly luxurious. I got undressed and was just about to run the water when he knocked at the door.

‘Yes?’ I squeaked, grabbing my towel as though he was about to walk in.

‘I’ve got some pyjamas for you,’ Namjoon called through the door.

‘Oh, thanks,’ I said, wrapping the towel around myself before pulling the door open. I reached out a hand and he paused, eyes dropping to my exposed shoulders briefly.

‘Here you go,’ he said, handing me a bundle of clothes. I thanked him and shut the door.

Namjoon

Namjoon got crockery out of his kitchen cupboard for dinner. The sound of the shower running in the background was unusual enough to distract him. He was used to living alone and hadn’t had anyone over in the last couple of months.

His thoughts wandered to Y/N and how she had looked when she opened the door to take his clothes, her hair up in a loose bun, her cheeks flushed and her shoulders bare. She looked more stunning than any fantasy he had had about her since medical school.

She had always been beautiful, but more than that she had been a loyal friend to him throughout medical school despite all her foibles. She had been a serial dater, often dating multiple guys at once, drawing them in with her sparkly eyes and dark sense of humour.

She got away with it because she was light-hearted and kind, always willing to help anyone in need. It was no surprise to him that she got into paediatric intensive care -- her mix of kindness and cynicism made her the perfect personality type for it.

He remembered the first time they had had sex, in his attic bedroom. They had technically finished medical school, their exams over and results out -- and had a shortened summer holiday to be able to start on their first placements right after graduation.

‘An end of an era’, they had called it, the last time they would spend together before taking up jobs on different sides of the country. She had looked over at him, and he had smiled, showing her his dimples that he knew she loved. He hadn’t expected her to lean over and kiss him, but once she did, he knew he was lost. All he could think was ‘finally’. Finally, after 5 years of her dating everyone in sight except him.

‘Namjoon?’ the uncharacteristically shy voice pulled him out of his memories. His gaze snapped to her, dressed in his clothes, an impish smile on her pretty face.

‘I can’t believe you still have this?’ she marvelled, tugging at the material of the soft T-shirt he had given her, their old graduation T-shirt with the names of the entire year on the back.

‘It’s my favourite sleeping t-shirt,’ he confessed, loving the way she looked up at him. ‘You look great in it.’ She laughed then, lifting a leg slightly awkwardly in his old basketball shorts that were too long for her.

‘I’m sure I do. Oversized men’s clothes are a good look for me,’ she said sarcastically, smiling at him.

‘Especially if they’re mine,’ Namjoon said, so quietly he wasn’t sure if she heard.

The doorbell rang. ‘I’ll get it!’ she called, skidding across his living room to the front door.

************************************************************************

I wasn’t sure if it was too hot in Namjoon’s living room or if it was just his proximity. He had showered and changed into a variation of the clothes he had given me – an oversized tee and grey sweatpants. We were sprawled on his sofa watching an old Cantonese film – I remembered Namjoon being a huge film buff in addition to being an avid reader, it was one of the many things we used to have in common.

He nudged my thigh with his socked foot. ‘Penny for your thoughts?’

I grabbed his foot. ‘You’d better have changed your socks since work, Namjoon.’

He smiled. ‘Are you kidding. It was a real sacrifice letting you shower first – I normally can’t wait to get changed. My feet get so sore standing all day.’

I squeezed his foot and he moaned dramatically. ‘That feels so good. Give me a foot rub.’

I paused, torn between incredulity at his demand and the desire to please him. Namjoon waggled his eyebrows.

‘I did rescue you from a 1-hour cab journey. Or a 1 hour wait for the AA,’ he said teasingly.

‘Oh, so I owe you?’ I asked lightly, rubbing my thumbs over his feet.

‘You don’t owe me anything. You always were amazing at back rubs though.’

I pressed my thumbs into the arch of his feet, turning to face him.

‘You always were a big baby,’ I teased. Namjoon just grinned, dimples on full display as I rubbed his feet before moving up to his calves over his sweatpants.

In some ways I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but in others I think I knew exactly what I was doing. I massaged up his calves lightly as the movie played in the background. I didn’t speak Cantonese, but I had watched it enough times to be able to follow what was happening.

Namjoon hummed in appreciation as my hands moved up his legs. As I got to his thighs, I took a breath. The man had sure filled out since medical school. Even through his loose sweatpants I could see the definition from what could only have been the thickest thighs I had ever seen on a man. I kept my eyes on his thighs, not daring to look up, worried about what I might see on his face.

As my hands wandered up to mid-thigh, I heard him suck in a breath.

I looked up to see his eyes on me, pupils dilated, his gaze dark. As I dropped my eyes I focused in on an unmistakeable bulge in his groin.

‘Fuck,’ he swore. ‘I can’t play this game with you anymore.’

I looked up at him again, kneeling between his legs. ‘What game?’ I asked innocently.

He chuckled then, low and husky. ‘You always were a tease.’

In one swift movement he sat up, cupping a hand behind my neck, under my hair. ‘You look so fucking good in my clothes,’ he said, bringing his face so close to mine our lips were millimetres apart.

I smiled then. ‘Show me your fucking dimples, Namjoon.’ He grinned at me and I leaned forward, kissing his left cheek, letting my tongue flit against his skin. Suddenly he turned and his lips captured mine. I sighed with pleasure. His lips were so incredibly soft.

Namjoon

Namjoon wanted to pinch himself. He couldn’t believe what was happening – the last thing he had expected when he had left work that day was to end up with Y/N, the girl he had had a crush on for years, between his thighs, giving him the best massage he had ever had.

She sighed against his lips, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder as she turned fully to him. Namjoon could have held back, but the final straw was when she reached out with her other hand, tucking it warm against his waist. He kissed a path across her jaw, down her slender neck, pausing to flick his tongue against the hollow of her collarbones. She moaned then, and the sound made even more blood rush to his dick.

Suddenly his hands were around her waist, and she arched back onto his sofa, pulling him down with her. Her legs spread to accommodate his hips, and she gasped as he ground his pelvis against hers.

Y/N

It was getting so hot. Namjoon’s lips felt so warm against my neck I whimpered at the sudden loss as he pulled away.

‘Can I take this off?’ he asked, hands firm around my waist over his t-shirt.

‘I don’t know,’ I said, pretending to think about it. ‘Can you take yours off?’

In a millisecond he reached behind his neck, shucking his t-shirt in that way men do that is so incredibly sexy. Kim Namjoon with his shirt off was a sight to behold. His bare chest with a silver chain between his collarbones was broader and deeper than I remembered, and his shoulders! I wanted to kiss all along the width of them.

I realised he was watching me again. ‘Are you checking me out again?’ he asked, smugly.

In response I ran a hand down his flat stomach. ‘Is that a problem?’

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and instead of replying, he bent over and nudged at the hem of my t-shirt with his nose. Pulling it up to the curve just under my breasts, he licked a stripe up my torso. Then he pushed the soft material up further and looked up at me delightedly. ‘What? No bra?’

I covered my face, slightly embarrassed at the way he was looking at me so intently, my nipples exposed and tight. ‘Oh my god, Namjoon.’

Again, he didn’t respond. Instead, I felt warm breath on my exposed nipple, then a long lick. ‘Oh,’ I cried, unable to help myself.

‘You still like this?’ he teased. My hands went involuntarily to the back of his neck, holding him to me as I arched into his mouth. Painfully slowly, he licked around my breast and suckled. My hips rose involuntarily, grinding up and onto him.

‘Namjoon,’ I gasped, trying to get more friction where I needed it the most.

‘What?’ he hummed, his fingers playing with one nipple whilst he suckled happily at the other. I reached down, cupping his erection with my hand.

‘I need you,’ I whispered into the shell of his ear. Namjoon jerked involuntarily at the sound, temporarily taking his mouth off me.

‘Show me,’ he said, hands pulling at the waistband of my/his shorts, helping me lift my hips. His knuckles brushed against my clit as he wriggled my shorts off, making me jerk. I moaned at the contact, hands reaching out to touch him.

‘Take yours off,’ I said, and no sooner had I finished my sentence when his sweatpants were off, tossed to a corner of the room, revealing his gorgeous cock and his incredible thighs. He was so hard it looked painful, and I swallowed at the sight. He curled a hand around himself, looking me in the eye.

‘Let me see you,’ he said, and I spread my legs for him. Before I realised what he was going to do he dipped his head between my legs and licked. A fresh flood of wetness gathered between my folds as he ran his tongue along my entrance, his nose nudging my clit.

‘You taste so fucking good,’ he moaned, as he pulled back to suck at my clit. I nearly came off the couch at the sensation, letting out an inordinately loud keen of pleasure.

‘Namjoon, please fuck me,’ I pleaded. He chuckled, low and husky, his tongue at my entrance, the vibration sending waves of pleasure through me.

‘You’re so needy, baby. Do you want me to stuff my cock in this cunt?’

‘Yes,’ I cried, ‘Joon, please.’

‘Then cum for me. Cum for me and I’ll do anything you want,’ Namjoon promised. With that he pushed two fingers inside me, hitting the exact spot I needed, who knows how he remembered after all this time. He licked and sucked my clit like a starving man, moaning his appreciation as the two fingers he had worked into me stroked and pleasured. I could feel the tightening low down in my pelvis, the pressure building.

‘Namjoon, I can’t – I’m gonna…’ I never finished my sentence as he growled against my core and I came, riding his face.

‘Good girl,’ he said, kissing my thigh as he pulled his fingers out. ‘You look so pretty when you cum.’

He licked my cum off his fingers and left the room briefly, returning with a condom. He stood over me, breathless, one hand on his length. ‘What do you want, baby? A promise is a promise.’

I looked up at him through my lashes, smiling sweetly. ‘I want to taste you.’

His eyes darkened as he looked down at me. He sat down on the couch and I got off to kneel between his thighs. He sucked in a breath as I licked up the underside of his cock and cupped his balls in my hands.

‘Y/N, don’t tease,’ he warned.

I smiled and paused just long enough for him to cock an eyebrow at me as I leaned forward and took as much of him as I could into my mouth.

‘Fuck,’ he breathed, as I looked up at him, my lips around his cock. I licked him again and plunged deeper, trying to get my nose right up against his taut abs.

‘That feels amazing, baby,’ he murmured. Suddenly I felt his hand in my hair. ‘Stop. I’m not cumming until I get inside you.’

He lifted me into his lap and then his fingers were in me.

‘So wet,’ he murmured, amazed. ‘You’re still so wet for me.’ He lifted up the condom. ‘Put it on me, baby.’

I ripped the condom open, and as I unrolled it on his hard cock, he leaned forward to suck at my nipples again. I moaned at the sensation, then I lifted my hips, sitting on his dick.

I took him in to the hilt, gasping. ‘You’re so fucking big, Namjoon.’

He panted, the expression on his face strained. ‘You have no idea how good you feel, love,’ he replied. ‘You’re taking my cock so well.’ I braced my hands on his big thighs, taking a bit of time to adjust. It had been a while since I’d had sex, and I wasn’t flattering him, Namjoon was bigger than most.

Namjoon rested his forehead against my chest, nestling between my breasts. ‘Can I move?’ he stuttered out.

I nodded. ‘Yes please.’ He gripped me to him, moving me under him onto the couch and lifting one of my legs to his hip.

‘You feel so amazing, baby,’ he breathed out, pulling his cock out, leaving just the tip inside me then snapping his hips back to meet mine. His mouth was on mine, one hand holding my leg against his hip, the thumb of his other hand stroking against my clit. I cried out at the sensation.

‘Can you give me one more?’ he asked. ‘I think you can.’

I didn’t reply, lost in the feel of his cock in me and his thumb against my clit. He swore again, voice a deeper register than I’d ever heard from him. The combination of his deep voice against my ear and the friction from his thumb as he thrust into me was a heady mix, and suddenly I was cumming again, arching against him as he snapped his hips. I felt the smile on his lips against my neck.

‘You’re my good girl,’ he crooned, stroking my neck.

In response I shifted my pelvis, taking him deeper. ‘I am good, Namjoon, but you’re even better. Can you cum for me?’ I whispered into his ear. He groaned, and his hips stuttered, losing his rhythm.

‘Fuck!’ he cried, with a particularly hard thrust that shifted my whole body up as he came.

I shifted so his head lay between my breasts and wrapped my arms around him. He was so warm, his weight pressing me into the cushions, my legs propped apart by his pelvis. I closed my eyes.

‘That was amazing, Namjoon,’ I said quietly. He said nothing, and I wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Namjoon

Namjoon lifted his head, not wanting to crush her. He raised his upper body up, looking at her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even. He got up to get a warm washcloth to clean her up and when he came back, she had turned on her side, one hand tucked under her face. ‘Y/N,’ he said, softly. She didn’t stir, and the easy cadence of her breathing told him she had fallen asleep. He picked her up and carried her to his bed, settling her under the fluffy duvet. She hummed a little and reached out to him as he let her go.

‘Namjoon?’ she asked, eyes closed, voice soft.

‘Yes baby?’ he asked.

‘Cuddle,’ she yawned. He had intended to sleep on the sofa but there was no way he was turning that down. Namjoon slid into bed next to her, arm around her waist, her back against his front. He pressed a kiss into her hair as she sighed, snuggling into him.

Y/N

I woke up not quite knowing where I was for a second. I shifted slightly, realising there was a warm male arm around my waist and instantly the events of the night before came back to me. The night before? It was still dark. I squirmed my hips and realised there was a cock nestled intimately against my ass cheeks.

A velvety voice against my ear sounded faintly amused. ‘I don’t know whether to tell you to stop or carry on, but if you keep squirming like that, we might have a problem.’ The grin on my face threatened to split it in half as I rocked my hips against him again, then worked my hand between us to palm his rapidly hardening cock.

‘I don’t see a problem here,’ I purred.

Namjoon laughed huskily. ‘I guess I don’t either.’ His big hand slid up my torso to cup my breast. ‘Are you sore, love?’ His voice and his hands were rapidly making me wet.

‘A little,’ I said. ‘But I want you.’ Namjoon hissed at my reply, lifting my hips up, his fingers slipping between my folds to make me ready for him.

The delicious friction of my nipples against the cool sheets and his talented fingers had me spreading for him. His hand came up to cup my cunt, spreading the wetness with his fingers. He licked up and down my folds as I moaned.

‘Can you take me?’ he asked.

I turned my face towards him. ‘Fuck me, Namjoon,’ I replied, reaching out to stroke him. He fumbled towards his nightstand, tearing into a condom and unrolling it over his length. And then he was inside me again, and we both hissed at the sensation of him sinking in to the hilt.

‘How did we go so long without doing this?’ he asked.

I giggled, reaching back to cup his balls. ‘You could have had me anytime, your ass looks amazing in scrubs,’ I teased.

Namjoon

Namjoon looked down at her smooth back, marvelling at the view as she arched beneath him. She let out a breathless moan, and unbelievably, his cock grew even harder.

‘You’re so fucking good at this,’ she cried. He ran a finger down the line of her spine, and she shuddered.

‘Joon,’ she moaned.

‘God, I love the way you say my name,’ he groaned. He pulled out, flipping her over, then re-entering her, his rhythm changing to a slow grind. Her eyes flew open, and the sight of her gorgeous eyes, flushed cheeks and swollen lips nearly sent him to the edge.

‘Joon,’ she cried again, the need in her voice making him feel positively feral.

‘I’ll take care of you,’ he promised, grinding his pelvis against hers as he dipped his head low to mouth at her breasts. Her arms came up, wrapping around his neck.

‘Joon,’ she wept, her hot breath against his ear. She didn’t seem capable to forming any other words, and he growled as he felt her tightening around him.

‘Cum for me,’ he murmured, his thumbs pressing so hard on her hips he was worried he might break her. She gasped and tightened, and he kept thrusting through her orgasm until he felt her muscles relax. She pressed kisses against his neck and chest, her hands smoothing over his back.

‘Fuck!’ she hissed. ‘How are you so good at this, Joon?’

Namjoon grunted. She clenched around him and suddenly her tongue was laving the sensitive spot on his neck, lips pressed to the hollow in his collarbones.

‘You’re so fucking big, Joon,’ she moaned, wrapping her legs around his hips to rock against him. The feel of her legs circling his hips, pulling him tight against her was so erotic it pushed him over the edge. Namjoon cried her name as he came, filling the condom. He collapsed on top of her and she let out a breathless squeal.

He lifted himself up instantly. ‘Did I squash you?’

She wound his arms around him. ‘I don’t mind,’ she insisted. They lay there for a few minutes, his dick softening and slipping out of her. She pulled off the condom, knotting it and tossing it carelessly in the general direction of the bin.

Y/N

I left to use the bathroom, and when I came back, Namjoon was sprawled across the bed in the same position I had left him in. I got into bed next to him, pulling the covers over us.

‘What time is it,’ I asked.

‘Too early,’ he replied, pulling me closer. ‘We have a couple of hours before we need to get up.’

I cupped his cheek. ‘Thanks for the lift,’ I told him. His eyes met mine.

‘Yeah, thanks for the ride,’ he smirked.

‘You’re gross,’ I laughed. ‘When did you become a fuckboy?’ He waggled his eyebrows comically at me.

‘Since I learned that girls don’t like it when you talk about the Kreb’s cycle all the time.’

‘This girl does,’ I joked. ‘Tell me all about it.’

His laugh rumbled in his chest. ‘Go the fuck to sleep,’ he said, dropping a kiss on my head. And so, I did.

Namjoon

Namjoon walked onto the ICU rapidly, side by side with his consultant, Francesco. He had been called down for an emergency cannulation onto ECMO. They didn’t need to be told where the emergency was – they could see a collection of people around a cot, the theatre scrub team having made it down before them.

‘Francesco,’ called Dr Sycombe, her eyes widening with relief as she saw them. ‘We need to get this baby on ECMO. We’re just getting a line in.’

Namjoon looked over at the cot and saw Y/N, fully scrubbed, wielding a needle and an ultrasound probe as she frowned over the head end of the baby, her brows drawn together and her gaze fixed to the ultrasound screen despite the noise and movement around her. Getting a central line in, in a small baby, could be tricky at the best of times, let alone when there was an audience of people waiting impatiently around you.

Francesco began scrubbing up and Namjoon waited to assist him to get his gown on before getting scrubbed himself. He glanced over at Y/N, realising that she had got the line in but was waiting for a suture to secure it.

Loud swearing caught his attention. ‘What are we waiting for? Get on with it.’

Namjoon bristled as he realised the words were directed at Y/N, by a furious looking male attending. This must be Dr Chan. ‘I’m just waiting for a suture,’ Y/N explained, her voice steady, one hand holding the line against the baby’s neck as she waited. ‘The one we had dropped on the floor and I can’t use it.’

Dr Chan huffed angrily, turning to glare at the nurse who had returned with a fresh suture. He snapped sterile gloves on. ‘Move, I’m taking over.’

Y/N’s gaze shot to him. ‘We’re in, I just need to suture it.’

Dr Chan nudged her out of the way with his shoulder. ‘Go and speak to haematology and get the blood ordered.’

Y/N stepped back, nearly stumbling as he moved into her space and began suturing. Namjoon couldn’t believe his eyes. Placing a couple of sutures would take less than 30 seconds. There was no actual need for anyone to take over. How obnoxious was this guy?

Y/N took a breath then turned, pulling her sterile gown off. She looked up and noticed him watching her. He was too far away to say anything to her. The corners of her mask moved up as she gave him a weak smile, and then turned, heading to the nearest sink to wash up.

Y/N

I stopped by the sink, trying to calm down as I snapped my gloves off and started washing my hands. My hands trembled as I washed them, a combination of the adrenaline wearing off from the resuscitation and fury from the way Dr Chan had treated me. The absolute icing on the cake was having Namjoon witness it all, and I flushed with humiliation. I dried off my hands, trying to suppress all the emotions I felt as I dialled the number to order blood for the patient.

Job done, I returned to the bedspace and looked around for anything I could do to help. I could see Namjoon and Francesco, fully scrubbed, dissecting down vessels in an open version of what I had just done on the other side of the neck.

Dr Chan snapped his fingers at me, catching my attention. The man was on a mission to be as vile as possible today, apparently.

‘Yes, Dr Chan?’ I gritted out, fighting to keep my expression neutral as I fought my inner rage at being summoned like a dog. I could see Namjoon and Francesco exchanging a glance.

‘Use your words, Dr Chan,’ retorted Nina, the bedside nurse. Dr Chan was notorious for behaving like a brute when things got stressful, and most senior nurses, like Nina, were accustomed to having to rein him in when his behaviour got particularly bad.

‘I need some goddamn fentanyl,’ Dr Chan glowered. I grabbed the keys off Nina, who smiled gratefully at me as I nodded and walked to the controlled drugs cupboard to get it.

Having signed out and drawn up the fentanyl, I returned to the bedspace, watching the perfusionists as they primed the ECMO circuit with emergency blood. As the patient went onto ECMO I turned off some of the pumps running infusions that were no longer needed whilst Namjoon and Francesco waited for the cardiologist to check the position of the cannulas they had just inserted.

‘Good flows on the circuit,’ called the perfusionist.

‘Good means on the art trace,’ said Dr Chan.

‘Happy with the cannulas?’ asked Francesco, looking at the cardiologist.

‘Yes,’ grunted Andy, the cardiologist. ‘Perfect.’ There was a collective sigh of relief.

‘Good effort, team,’ said Francesco. He was the exact antithesis of Dr Chan, an incredibly talented surgeon in his late 50s who managed to always behave impeccably. For a moment I envied Namjoon. I couldn’t imagine Francesco ever snapping his fingers at him.

As if sensing my thoughts, Namjoon’s eyes met mine. I sent him a thumbs up and a smile. ‘Good job,’ I mouthed, forgetting he couldn’t see my lips through my mask. He seemed to get the gist, though, eyes crinkling at the corners before he turned his attention to securing the ECMO cannulas.

After work, I was waiting in the car park for the AA to arrive and see to my car when Namjoon pulled up next to me. He got out of his car, hand rubbing the back of his neck, looking almost shy as he walked up to me. ‘Hey,’ he said.

‘Hey,’ I replied, smiling up at him. I gestured to my car. ‘Just waiting for the AA to arrive.’

‘Yeah? Once they’ve fixed your car, do you want to grab dinner? I figured you might know where’s good around here.’

I looked down, trying to stop the silly grin that was threatening to spread over my face at his words.

‘Doesn’t dinner usually come before the incredibly hot sex?’ I asked lightly.

He laughed then, his voice dropping a register as he replied.

‘Are you propositioning me again, Y/N?’

‘Hell, yes I am,’ I said instantly, and we both laughed. He looked at me for a moment then kissed the side of my mouth.

‘You’re stunning,’ he said quietly.

I fidgeted with my hair. ‘You like hat hair?’ I teased, referring to the way my hair had flattened from wearing a scrubs hat for most of the day.

‘Oh yeah,’ replied Namjoon, and the ridiculous expression on his face had me leaning forward to kiss him again.

‘Whoa,’ said Namjoon. ‘These scrubs are not good at hiding boners.’

My gaze dropped to his crotch instantly, and he chuckled. ‘You can see later, if you want.’

‘Now who’s propositioning who?’

©hamsterclaw 2021

#bts smut #namjoon x you #namjoon fanfic #namjoon smut #namjoon x reader

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acciocriativity · 3 years

Text

You and Me II || Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin/Reader

Summary: After years at Hogwarts, your life would really begin and nothing could be better than to start this new phase with your official birthday party, but the next day does not turn out quite as expected.

Warnings: For those who haven't read the first part yet, Tom Riddle is not Voldemort in this fic. The first wizard war was against another wizard but its consequences are still valid! Just pure fluff and an implied bit of smut.

Word Count: 3,0k

A/N: This is obviously the part two of You and Me, but it’s not necessarily related, so you can just read this one as a one shot but the first part gives you a lot of context for this, ok? ok then. (Happy really early Birthday Katie! I'd like to post this on your bday but I was too anxious for this. Hope you like it!)

Part I

04/27/1997

"You're really not well, how can a person be in this state when their birthday is so close? I've tried to understand and still can't", the brunette's bored voice made itself present in the room for the 4th time in the day and as I prepared my answer, she held up her hand and delivered her own hypothesis first. "You can't be sad that we're finishing seventh year, I swear for Merlin's sake, if that's the case, I'll...", the words slipped slowly from her mouth, as did the calmness remaining in her.

"Even though anything you have to say sounds like a lot of fun, it's not the case. I really want to start my own life, have my own job and all that. I'm just thinking a lot lately, too many things have happened, we've all changed so much", I didn't bother to look at her, still focused on the ceiling painted like a blue summer sky and she didn't mind asking permission to lie next to me on the bed.

"We had to grow up eventually, although some took too long, in fact, I can point out for sure that half the boys still act like kids", we both laughed until our bellies ached.

"Well, good for us then because Draco and Blaise are not on that list and don't even dare look at me like that, you know he's changed a lot", I heard her amused giggles and already imagined what was coming.

"I wasn't even going to say anything this time, it's really impressive how you just stick up for him, I hope it's the same with me", I frowned and looked at her as if she was out of her mind, and there were chances she really was. "Since when do you need protection from someone?".

"I never said I needed it, but it's nice to know I have it", she shrugged without looking me in the eye and I decided it would be better to change the subject, because nothing good ever comes out of a Pansy, who is unseasy in any sense.

"So, about your...," she started. "Pansy, what do you…”, I said at the same time, but I just smiled and waited in silence for what she had to say.

"I was going to ask about your parents, you're going to have to live with them in a month, so how are you feeling about that?", she just glanced at me.

"That's been going through my mind, I have no idea what it's going to be like but it's going to be better than anything that's happened in the past, that's enough for now", I sighed.

"You know you can come to my house, right? You can hide there", I agreed with a smile and we continued in a comfortable silence.

04/29/1997

7:30 A.M.

On the morning of my birthday, I woke up in the best possible way. The warmth emanating from Draco's body and the thick blanket kept me unfazed by the freezing wind coming in through the window. I didn't want to move and I didn't need to.

I sighed satisfied with the position I was in, curled up under the blanket hugging the blond's bare torso, with no responsibility or obligation other than to enjoy my day.

"Morning, love", his arms pressed me tighter against him, I could feel his calm breathing and somehow, I felt calmer too.

I left a few kisses on his bare skin and the goosebumps they caused on him made me break out into a little smile. "Good morning, love", I whispered leaning back against him.

"Come here, let me give you a proper happy birthday", he gave my hair a quick pat and lifted my chin to look at him.

As soon as I crawled closer to him, his arms entwined around my waist and pulled me even closer.

"Happy birthday my love", he left several little kisses on my face and neck before moving to my lips, but our moment was interrupted by a noise on the window.

A gray owl incessantly beat its beak on the window pane, we looked at each other, neither of us wanted to get up, but it would be too cruel to leave the poor thing waiting there.

"It's my birthday, I have the right to ask you to go", I gave a brief kiss on his lips before letting him go to the war field.

I stayed warm while he opened the window further so that the owl could get through, as well as the icy wind.

He rushed back to my side in time to see me tear the seal off the letter I received.

"It's from my parents, they are really working hard this year. I have to admit that", I told him as I scanned the paper.

"At least they realized what a great daughter they have, she's a little mean but still great", I was too busy reading the letter to notice his cunning and more icy than usual hands pass around me.

I jumped out of bed as I felt the shock of our skin contact and he had the audacity to laugh, I had to control myself too much not to grab my wand.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you are dead now", I climbed into bed with my pillow, ready to fight.

20:00 P.M.

A few hours later, I was getting ready for the party in the Slytherin common room, everyone was invited since after this stressful year, a party would be nice and I couldn't physically kick anyone out.

I was barely concentrating in my makeup, Nala was running back and forth between my feet wanting attention and I couldn't give it to her or for the next few hours, no matter how much it broke my heart.

"For Merlin's sake... Nala! Sit!", it saddened me to see that she obeyed but still wanted to come running to me, that deserved a good reward.

I fed her one of her favorite cookies and petted her shiny fur before going back in front of the mirror. I checked several times to make sure I was ready.

"See you later my love, mma will be back soon", I waved to her and went downstairs before I gave in.

There were already a lot of people when I arrived, the new song by The Weird Sisters was so loud that Pansy didn't hear me, even though I called out 2 times as she passed by on the other side of the room.

As I made my way through, many friends stopped to congratulate me and also to chat a bit, by the time I realized what I was supposed to do, more than 10 minutes had passed.

"Have you guys seen Pansy? I was looking for her", I said before turning my own glass of buttered beer over and leaving it in Tom's hand. "See you guys later", my eyes were glued on the blond guy standing in the corner and in less than a second, I was walking towards him.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!", I heard his indignant voice but ignored it along with all the other people, who tried to talk to me on my way to him.

"You know, the delay is only elegant because it doesn't last more than 5 minutes", he was smiling even though he hated tardiness.

"Maybe for most people, a queen is never late love, the others were too early. Especially when it's her birthday", I stopped in front of him. "You haven't given me my present yet, I'm waiting", I pointed to my own lips.

He chuckled and looked at me for a few seconds before he said something, even with the lights flashing I could still see the twinkle in his eyes, which still reflected mine equally.

"Are you asking this as a gift around too?", his smile widened as did mine, he took a step closer.

"Does that mean you're not going to give it to me? I had high expectations for this one in particular", something in his gaze changed, I could clearly tell but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"That particular one can wait, right now, I have my main gift", he took his hands off his back and in them was a green velvet median box with silver details.

I was almost breathless just admiring the package once it was in my hands. To top it off, a green silk bow and I had the impression that he had made it himself.

When I opened it, my jaw dropped. A silver necklace with an emerald heart carefully displayed in the box.

"Draco, you really didn't have to give me something expensive", he didn't answer me, instead took the necklace and helped me put it on.

"It seemed like an appropriate gift, now that we will no longer be living by Slytherin rules, it’s a nice way to say goodbye", I didn't think twice before I kissed him.

"I love you, I'll never get tired of saying that", I whispered between kisses. "You won't forget that, right?", I sighed as he brushed his lips across the skin of my neck.

"I have no reason to forget love, I...", we were interrupted by a forced cough behind me.

"Why don't you two just go into a room? No one has to see this scene", Blaise's unmistakable voice sounded and I felt my boyfriend giggle, not moving out of position.

"You can go after your girlfriend instead of getting in our way, wouldn't that be a brilliant idea?", I didn't see what happened, but a nice answer wouldn't be."So where were we honey?", he raised his eyes to meet mine.

"We better save that for the end of the party love, wasn't that your idea?", I pulled away from him and took his hand. "You have a whole party to enjoy."

"I already regret that decision, thanks for reminding me", he mumbled that and a few other things I couldn't hear.

07/01/1997

7:00 A.M.

"I still can't believe this is our last breakfast at Hogwarts", Astoria commented amidst the silence that had formed at our table.

"I still can't believe it's really over, it seems like any minute now I'm going to wake up and be back in third year", Pansy added.

"Well, I hope you'll make better decisions if you go back there tonight. No one forgot the hair Pan", my remark made everyone laugh for the first time in the day, a bit of pride grew inside me.

"Just because Hogwarts is over doesn't mean we're going to split up. None of you have any right to be this down today", Theo said and I was forced to smile as was everyone else.

"I was glad to be rid of you, at no point I was sad," Blaise muttered but we could all hear him and we all laughed once again.

8:00 A.M.

"What are you thinking?" he was with his eyes closed leaning against the train window, but I knew he wasn't asleep.

"How familiar everything here is, the worn leather of the seat, the smell of candy in the hallway and of trees coming in through the window. Other things will be familiar 7 years from now, it's just weird to think about it," he continued in the same position but held out his hand to me.

"That's true but I feel better knowing that we will continue to be each other's constant," I intertwined our fingers and we continued like that until we arrived.

11:00 A.M.

"It's time for the gifts, we prefer to give you personally. I believe you will like it", my mother said as soon as we sat down on the couch in our living room.

I smiled not knowing how to respond, since I usually got the same thing every year, money or more paint, and I was pretty sure they didn't choose in person.

"Go ahead, open it. We decided to give two separate presents this year, the pink wrapping is mine and the purple one is your father's", the two boxes were right next to me on the couch, so why was I hesitating so much to pick them up?

A lot was going on in my head, they have changed a lot in the last year but why? I could be dreaming of the ideal day, but no dream was as vivid as this one.

I took a deep breath and opened the pink first, I expected to find anything but my stuffed bunny, he was washed and clean, different from how I remembered, but still the same.

"I thought I lost or tore it a long time ago", I managed to say as I hugged him like one who finds an old friend, but he was beyond that.

"He was really in a rough state, but I was able to fix him. It was in one of the boxes in the basement, remember how you got it?", I agreed again, a wave of memories washed over me.

My parents had just arrived home from a business trip, it was the first time I had been alone at home without them.

"Mommy, Daddy!", I ran down the stairs as fast as my little legs would allow and threw myself into my father's arms, not caring about his wet coat, which soon became even wetter. "You promi-promised that you would be back soon”.

"Oh my love, something unexpected has happened. We were never going to leave you alone for so long," her hands wiped away my tears and took me in her lap. "So, for you never have to be alone again, we brought a little friend, he will always keep you company when we have to leave."

That wasn't enough to calm me down but it made me curious enough to stop crying, I didn't have any friends before that.

I hurried to open the other package but there was only an empty picture frame with no photo inside.

Before I could open my mouth to ask for an explanation, shapes began to appear from the black background.

I recognized the picture, me still a baby in my mother's arms and my father behind her, hugging us both but as soon as I blinked, it was gone.

Another picture formed in its place, I was older, about two or three years old, this one I had never seen. I was on my mother's lap holding a drawing that I had made and possibly looked terrible.

More pictures appeared and disappeared but I didn't wait to see them all at that moment.

"I loved these gifts...thank you Mom and Dad," I made a great effort to hold back the tears as I hugged them both. "They are the best presents I have ever gotten."

23:00 P.M.

"What are you two doing out there at this time of night?! Draco, have you been drinking now?", Narcisa gave us another stern look before opening the door and shoving us inside.

We walked in almost tripping over the living room rug, laughing at each other, to the point where tears formed in our eyes.

"Shhhhhh, my dad must be working... uhhhhhh, he's not going to like this, u-um," his hand covered my mouth.

I pushed his hand away from my face. “Me?Shut up? You're practically screaming you idiot!".

"You two, I don't want another peep out of you. Come up quietly. Your father doesn't like to be interrupted," she whispered, but it was enough for us to agree without hesitation.

"Yes, Captain, I mean, ma'am," he pulled me up the stairs before her patience ran out.

07/02/1997

14:00 P.M.

"What do you mean, you don't remember what happened?", the blond was clearly trying hard not to laugh and I sighed, still under the blanket.

"I don't remember Draco, did your mother really not hate me? I can't believe we came here...", even though no one was watching me, I started to blush, or was it just the fever? There's no way to be sure now.

"That could never happen, she made sure to request your favorite tea. Now get out of there before it gets cold", he tried to pull on my blanket but I used all the rest of my strength not to let him.

"Noooo, out there that's too cold. Come here, it's too cold for you too", I took one of my hands from the comfortable warmth to pull him to me. "You didn't have to get up so early to get this", I whispered but soon after started coughing.

"There must be a potion to help you, I'll just get it and then...", he was ready to get up from the bed but I didn't let go of his arm.

"I just want you, please stay here? The elf will bring it anyway", before he could protest, I covered him with the blanket. "You're not well either, let's just lay down for now".

He opened his mouth to deny it again but all that came out was a sneeze, after this he just gave up and lied down too. We were both screwed but at least we were together, right? I tried to think positive.

[ @x-dratie-x @fa-me]

Harry Potter Masterlist

#harry potter fanfiction #fred weasley #harry potter #george weasley #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy masterlist #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #tom riddle #blaise zanbini #pansy parkinson #ron weasley #hp fanfic

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xeo-kunsatan · 3 years

Text

Beast Choices Chapter 2. Woman Tears

Betrayus and Muriel have passed a lot of time together in their department next to Yūu, as well their works were too hard for them, living them completely tired.

The Summer was starting and Muriel and Betrayus really needed vacations.

Muriel: God damnit... I'm so tired...

Betrayus: me too... Ugh...dude, don't think we need vacations?

Muriel: that's so obvious....

Betrayus: y-yeah.. but sadly we don't have any fucking money to pay for a trip....

Muriel: yeah...

Someone knocks the door.

Muriel: i'll go..

She opens the door and finds that it was the delivery man with a letter for Muriel.

Kevin: Are you the Ms Muriel Plizetxki?

Muriel: ahm yes.

Kevin: this is a letter for you, it was send by the Mr Marlos Plizetxki, *gives the letter to Muriel*.

Muriel: ... Thank you sir..*holds the letter tightly*...

Kevin: have a good day *he leaves*

Muriel:*closes the door*... Dad....

Betrayus: Hey Mury, what is it?.

Muriel: *Opens the letter and takes a million dollars from it*...It's Money... A lot of money.

Betrayus: Wow, really!? Let me see.

He takes a look to the letter without noticing Muriel's shocked expression.

Betrayus: Holy shit! a Million dollars!? This is enough to all a travel around the world or to buy a own house, oh this has a note too!, seriously..Who send this to you Muriel!?? *notices Muriel*

Uhm... Mury? Are you okay?...

Muriel; It's nothing.. my father send this money for me.

Betrayus: that's a good thing Muriel but why are you so blue?.

Muriel: it's just.... My Dad and me we had a hard relationship..

Betrayus: Ow... Ahm you want to talk about it?..

Muriel: it's okay.. at least We have money to our Cool Ass vacations!

She said it with a brilliant tone hiding something strange inside her, Betrayus knew that something was wrong with Muriel but he didn't wanted to force her to speak.

Betrayus: well, if you say so.. what place we can visit?

Muriel: i don't know...

Betrayus: hmm... I would like to visit a country with variety of weather.

Muriel: hmm... I don't know..

Betrayus: what about.. Pac Mexico? I heard in a paper about traveling and tourist places that Mexico has a lot of wonderful places to visit like the island of Dolls in Xochimilco, Mazamitla forest with their cabins, Cancun Beach, a More.

Muriel: Hmm? Mexico? that sounds interesting, that's it i want to go there

Betrayus: Me too ^^.

The next day, Betrayus and Muriel next to Yūu went to the airport to take the plane to Pac Mexico. The plane have arrived in Pac Guadalajara Jalisco Airport.

Muriel: oh damn.. are you okay Yūu?

Yūu: *she is dizzy*

Betrayus: Poor little girl.

Muriel: don't worry girl.. *flees Yūu from the box and puts a strap in her collar* c'mon let's get going!

Betrayus: Oh yeah girl!

Muriel: Hey Taxi!

The 3 taked the Taxi and left the airport.

Taxi Girl: A dónde los llevo jóvenes?

Betrayus; Excuse me?

Muriel: ehh.. No Espaniol..

Taxi Girl: Heh i was jocking with you, where do you want to go?

Muriel: Hehehe, we want to go to Mazamitla, please

Taxi Girl: Mazamitla, all right.

Yūu: D,:<

During the travel Betrayus and Muriel we're watching the wonders of mexico since the windshields as well they ended having a good conversation with the Taxi Girl, while that Yūu was sleeping on Betrayus'lap.

Taxi Girl: You Know, Jalisco is a really beautiful state of the country, without speaking of the shootings and other dangerous stuff here, but hey don't be Scared, with just stay away of suspicious places and people everything will be alright, the most important for tourists like you is have fun in this place with all the activities you can do, we care a lot of our visits.

Betrayus: Wow, that sounds cool, we we're looking for a place to spend our vacations, and Mazamitla sounded like a nice place for us.

Taxi Girl: It is, Mazamitla is so cool, and their cabins are so relaxing and warm, well there are more cool places you can go, like walking around the town and appreciate the beautiful details of the traditional houses, the Enchanted Garden, The forest "La Zanja" we're you can make a picnic there, and other more stuff, you want me to take you to the Cabins?.

Muriel: Yes Please.

Betrayus: i can't wait to go there, Thank you Miss-.

Roxy: Roxana, but you can call me Roxy.

After a long travel, Roxy have taked Muriel, Betrayus and a Dizzy again Yūu

Roxy: Here we are.

Betrayus: Oh my Gosh.. this place is even more cool in person, thank you Ms Roxy *pays Roxy*

Roxy: your welcome, it was a pleasure.

Muriel: I really love it!.

Roxy: oh yeah, you guys most be hungry and tired right now.

Muriel: Uff yeah..

Betrayus: Even more the dog.

Yūu: <:(...

Roxy: Aww no.. poor little big thing, *takes a bag with Dog Cookies* Take this ones girl.

Yūu: :D! *Eats them all quickly as she is waving her tail*.

Roxy: *knocks a little store next to her* Quiero! [Quiero: is a way to call for the Person In charge of a little store]

A Old woman of the Store arrived to attend Roxy.

Roxy: Como anda Doña Petra?,

[How are you Miss Petra?]

Ms Petra: Rosy que bueno verla de nuevo, como están tu y tus papás?

[Rosy, thanks God to see you again, how are you and your parents?]

Roxy: Pues ya ve Seño, echandole ganas al trabajo para pagar los estudios y apoyar a la familia.

[Well Miss, as you can see, I'm working hard to pay my studies and support my family].

Ms Petra: Ay que bueno mija, así debe de ser, y en qué anda?

[Aww That's so good dear, as it had to be, and what are you doing?]

Roxy: Pues ando trayendo a estos turistas gringos por la zona, están muy emocionados pero también apachurrados por el largo viaje, y pues ya andan hambriados.

[Well, I'm taking this american tourists around the Zone, they are so excited but tired and hungry at the same time]

Ms Petra: Ay pobrecitos [Aww poor things]

The old woman starts talking to Muriel and Betrayus wich seemed confused because they didn't understand spanish.

Ms Petra: Oh my bad, Welcome to Mazamitla, are you looking for a Cabin to spend your days?

Betrayus: Yes miss.

Ms Petra: Alright *gives Muriel the keys of their cabin* here you are, you would love this cabin.

Muriel: Thank you so much Miss.

Ms Petra: I'll prepare you some instant noodles for you to at least cushion your hungry *puts hot water in 2 instant noodles boxes*

Both: Thank you Miss.

Roxy: Órale.. Doña Petra, no sabía que usted sabía hablar inglés.

[Wow.. Ms Petra, i didn't know you can spoke english]

Ms Petra: Mi nieto Jorgito cuando vino de de Inglaterra me enseñó a hablar inglés, bueno mija ayuda a estos jóvenes a llevar sus maletas, porfavor

[My Grandson Jorgito when he came from England, he teached me to speak english, but well dear, please help this young to take their suitcases to their cabin]

Roxy: Alright guys, let me help you with this.

Betrayus: you two are so kind, thank you *Carries his suitcase*

Muriel: seriously thank you so much you both. *Gives Roxy the Dog's Suitcase while she holds her own Suitcase*

Ms Petra: you have nothing Thank us, the most important thing to you is enjoying your vacations.

Roxy: Alright, I'll take you to the cabin, nos vemos al rato doña Petra [See you later Ms Petra].

Betrayus and Muriel: Thank you so much Miss Petra!

Ms Petra: Mijos olvidan su Maruchan!

[Darlings, you forgot your Noodles (Maruchan=Instant noodles in mexico)

Betrayus and Muriel: Oh yeah, sorry sorry

Both takes their instant noodles and left grating Ms Petra again,

Roxy have taked Muriel, Betrayus and Yūu to the Cabin, Yūu was so happy to finally walk.

Betrayus: *Opens the Door* Oh Man.. This Cabin is so cool

Muriel: Seriously, how can I pay you?

Roxy: nah, it's okay, it's own me.

Betrayus: thank you very much Miss Roxy.

Roxy: you're welcome, you had a very long travel, for now you need to rest to recharge energies for tomorrow,

Betrayus: we will do it

Roxy: Alright first, you already knew where is doña Petra's to leave your cabin keys with her and buy some snacks, near her there's a restaurant with the most tasty food wich opens at 7:00 pm to 10:30 pm, well see you tomorrow!

M&B: Goodbye and thank you!

Roxy have left the cabin, Betrayus and Muriel where looking around the cabin to meet up with the Bedrooms, both start eating their instant noodles and resting in the beds.

Betrayus: Ufff this is so comfy *eating slowly his Soup*

Muriel: Yeah~, hmmm~ the ambient feels so good~

At ending their noodles they fell asleep.

2 days later have passed and This 3 had a lot of adventures with Roxy guiding them.

They both were having fun, but Betrayus still had the doubt about Muriel's behavior at the letter with money.

all the whole year Muriel was hearing all Betrayus's problems and insecurities and helping him to use them to grow as person and supported him in the bad and good moments, He knew it so well but..

"Who is hearing Muriel's Problems?".

Betrayus more than ever wanted to know better Muriel and help her as she did for him, all he knew was just her mother was dead, and her living family members were her father and Older sisters and that Muriel left her home.

Tuesday 9:00 pm

Betrayus and Muriel where relaxing in the couch watching the fire of the fireplace, the radio was sounding some wholesome rock songs.

Betrayus: Mury, can i make you a question?

Muriel: Sure.

Betrayus: First, thank you very much for everything you did for me, nobody else have worried for me like you did.

Muriel: You have nothing to thank me, i really wanted to help you, Heh you're my Patient number 1 and my best friend After all.

Betrayus: and I'm still so grateful about what you did for me, but... Mury.. you listen everyone's problems... What about yours?..

Muriel: ..w-ell... I.. uhmm...i have no problems, im Fine.

Betrayus: C'mon Mury, you did a lot for me, i want to give it to you back.

Muriel: i don't want to bother you Betrayus..

Betrayus: C'mon Mury, you're my best friend, i want to help you.

Muriel: *Sighs*... W-ell....

When I was younger...

I was too close to my mother Yoong since my birthday,..she used to take me to visit the wolves to gave them food, and ice skating in family, I used to do many figures in the snow with my sisters... *Sighs*

Betrayus: and What happened?..

Muriel: everything was so great... But it ended when that snow storm happened,

I was playing with my mom in the snow and it suddenly happened, my mother acted quickly and hold me running from the storm, it was kinda close to us so... M-my Mom.. had to threw me to the other side to keep me safe,.. she was running to the same place but... The storm smashed *sobs* smashed my mom in front my eyes...

Betrayus: Oh... No...

Muriel: I was innocent at that scene..*sob*...my father and sister.. have saw that... My Father was looking for my mom and my sisters.. they just yelled to me.. blaming me of her death...

Betrayus: T-thats terrible...

Muriel: After Her death... The things in my family changed a lot.... My Father just gave all his attention to my sisters... Rejecting every of my acts, while my sisters... Yoona was the one who repeated me that it was my fault that mother died, Yeena just stared at me to then try to ignore...

When I cried my father and Yoona just shat me up... telling me "stop playing the victim, you're the parasite of this family"...

I grew in that cold and toxic ambient... But in my birthday 19th I got tired.. and I stole a part of the money of my dad to pay a plane to then left Pac-Arctic...*tries to not cry*

Betrayus: Mury... *Hugs her tightly*... Don't suppress your feelings.. you can cry

Muriel just taked air and started crying on Betrayus's arms.

Betrayus: you don't have to suffer for that again Mury... I'm here for you..

Muriel:*she is crying*

Betrayus: shh shh... Now i understand..

Muriel: W-What is it? *sob*.

Betrayus: we both are the parasites for our families.

Muriel:....

Betrayus: oh.. uhm sorry.. i didn't mean to.

Muriel:...*starts chuckling* it's true.

Betrayus:..heheh.. you're not mad?

Muriel: of course not dummy..

Betrayus: Heheh.. Heeeeyy!!

Muriel: Heeeeeyy!!

Both started laughing and drinking beer while in the radio sounded the song

"Jenny (i wanna ruin our friendship)"

Muriel: heheh...*hip*.. Oh gad.. it hurted.. but i learned that it wasn't my problem.. they are the Assholes!

Betrayus: Exactly!.. *hip*..

Muriel:*hugs Betrayus* thank you~

Betrayus: *hugs back* thank you too Muriel...*Suddenly he Kisses Muriel on lips*

Muriel: *blushes*... B-Betrayus!...

Betrayus: I-i-im s-s-sorry.. i..i don't know what i.. did.. just...

Muriel: Don't worry..Heh..*Kisses Betrayus back* i also.. i wanna Ruin our friendship~♪..

Betrayus: We should be lovers instead~♪

M&B: Heheh..

They both singing along the song to end the song with a kiss between them, to then other things together.

To be continued..

Wednesday 8:39 Pm

Betrayus was reading a book about occultism but he noticed that Muriel haven't came back with the wood for the fireplace, he got Worried and left the cabin to look for her in the forest holding his flashlight.

Everything was dark and the singing of the owls were sounding around the forest.

Betrayus: M-Muriel!... Where are you?

Betrayus suddenly saw something strange in the woods.

Betrayus: Muriel?...

???: Grrrrhh...

Betrayus: !!!!

Yep the chapter 2 is here as also a celebration of Muriel's Birthday

April 4th, i hope you loved this chapter.

#pacman and the ghostly adventures #pmatga #Beast Choices #Extraño Mazamitla ;_;#Quiero ir a Mazamitla otra vez! D:>

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ms-rampage · 3 years

Text

Eden’s Gate: Left Behind Chapter 18 - Carry On

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Angels and Demons.

Word count: 3k

Summary: In the penultimate chapter Kate tells all of her friends that she has to leave Hope County due to a family emergency across the country. She has a hard time telling John because of how close they’ve gotten.

Guest OCs: Paige Winchester, Sarah Dunham, Alissa Connors, Layla Michaels, Becky Taylor, Ashley Saunders, Ivan and Isaiah Wren, Ryan Cho, Dylan Paulson and Kevin Baker.

Guest characters: Lilith, Archangel Gabriel, (Supernatural, in a dream), Sam, and Dean Winchester, Castiel [mentioned], Eli Palmer, Wheaty, Mary May, Nick Rye, Grace Armstrong, Pastor Jerome, Raphael, Michael and Lucifer [mentioned].

Note: This chapter is a clusterfuck. SMGDFH.

*************************************

Kate and Morgan are on their way to the Wolf’s Den. They’re planning on telling all of their friends, everyone they’ve come to know during their time living in Hope County.

They’re leaving, they don’t know for how long, not sure if they’ll ever come back especially with the Cult running around, and destroying shit.

They make it to the Wolf’s Den, parking the car by the grassy area, and they make their way up the small mountain.

“So what are you gonna tell Wheaty?!” Morgan asks, trying to keep herself from slipping down the grassy hill.

Kate sighs, “I don’t know. Probably “Hey I’m gonna be leaving Hope County, I’m not sure how long I’m gonna be gone, it’s a family emergency and they need me, and Morgan because she’s family as well”. I don’t know something like that, or along the lines”.

“Aww you see me as family?!?” Morgan says in a sarcastic but also heartful kind of way.

Kate rolls her eyes, “Well duh, I’ve known you for over 10 years. We’ve traveled together”.

They go down the stair of the Wolf’s Den, the Whitetails being the first on their list to say their goodbyes even though they still have two months to do so.

They get to the bottom of the steps, and Kate almost walks into Wheaty.

“Hey!!” he says loudly, startled by their unexpected visitors.

“Hey Wheaty” Kate greets him with a smile.

“Morgan, Kate. How are you two doing?” he asks, in an awkward tone.

“We're doing great, but we unfortunately have some bad news” Morgan says, walking past him, and sits down on a chair.

“What’s the bad news?” he asks, looking back and forth at them.

Morgan raises her eyebrows at Kate, telling her to explain to him why they have bad news.

Kate clears her throat, “We uh. Unfortunately, we have to leave Hope County”.

Eli walks in as she says this.

“Leave Hope County?!?!” the bearded man asks loudly.

“Yeah, I got a call from my uncle, and there’s a family emergency, and they need mine, and Morgan’s help” Kate explains to them.

“What kind of emergency?” Eli asks, “If you don’t mind me asking”.

“It’s just my great aunt, she got into some trouble with some sketchy people. She made a few deals, and we have to help her out of it” Kate further explains.

“We’re gonna be leaving in a few months. Because that’s when the “deadline” expires, and we have to help her hold off it” Morgan adds.

They’re both great liars. No one. Not a single soul can know of the evil monsters in this world.

Vampires, Demons, Werewolves, Ghosts, Ghouls. That shit will only freak people out, and only a small handful of people can know, and hunt these monsters.

The people in Hope County will never know, or understand what Kate and Morgan do for a living.

What their families have been doing for generations. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.

It was a close one with John getting possessed, Kate was glad Castiel worked his angel magic, and wiped his memory of the whole thing.

One of the perks on being besties with an Angel of the Lord.

Kate clears her throat again, “November 2nd. That’s when we’re leaving for Jackson, then we’re going to Pennsylvania because that’s where she lives”.

Eli, and Wheaty look back and forth at the two huntresses.

“As much as we don’t want to leave, especially with the Cult terrorizing everyone” Morgan says.

“A lot of shit going on” Kate adds.

They stayed at the Wolf’s Den for another half an hour, and they moved on to all their other friends.

Luckily Nick Rye, Grace, Pastor Jerome and Mary May were all at the Spread Eagle.

You can cut the tension with a knife, after what happened several months early with the whole atonement bullshit, and Saleos.

Mary pretty much glared at Kate the whole time, Nick and Grace didn’t even look back to look at her, and Pastor Jerome just looked like he didn’t want to talk about what happened that day.

“Hey” Kate says, greeting the Holland Valley business owners, and residents.

“Hey” Mary says with a hint of anger in her voice.

Morgan takes the lead with this since none of them want to hear Kate out on this.

“Listen” she starts off, “Kate and I are leaving Hope County in a few months. Family emergency, we’re telling you guys because we don’t want you guys to think we just, up and left Montana out of selfishness”.

As Mary cleans glasses, “So after everything that has happened. You’re just gonna leave like the fucking Cult is gonna let you?!”.

Morgan and Kate both look at each other, then back at Mary.

“Oh wait. That’s right you can because you’re fucking dating John Seed” she yells angrily towards Kate.

Kate snaps back, “Okay first of all I didn’t even fucking know he was involved with that shit!!”.

“Bullshit!!!” Mary snaps, almost breaking a glass “You seriously didn’t even know about the Cult, or the atonements?. Or any of that shit?”.

“What John did to me was un-fucking-forgiveable” Nick says, “I’m surpised you defended him, and was still dating him after all that. Hell I don’t know why you even got with him in the first place”.

Nick doesn’t even look back at them when he says this, not even turning his head in the slightest.

“I broke things off with John shortly after that. I never spoke to him after all of that” she defends herself but it wasn’t good enough.

“That still doesn’t make things any better Kate!!” Mary adds, “I don’t know if you’re blind, or just stupid for defending that man. After what him and his family have done to all of us, and you still justify his actions”.

“I’m starting to think you two leaving is for your own selfishness” Grace says, not looking back at them.

Pastor Jerome turns to them, and says “Some of us can forgive you, but we won’t forget. We won’t forget the pain the Seeds have done to us all. The wrath, pain and sorrow they put on all of us will be justified”.

Kate and Morgan turn around, and are about to leave the bar. Kate’s surprised Jeorme didn’t bring up her citing an exorcism during her atonement.

Mary mutters as she’s cleaning glasses, “I thought you would be like your mother when I first met her. But turns out you're both the same”.

Kate stops, and turns to her, “What did you say?!?. My mother?!?”.

She walks up to the counter, “What do you mean “I would be like my mother?”.”

“Mandy, or should I say Mother Amanda. She was a part of the Cult, she was The Mother, Joseph picked her. They were the Mother and Father of Eden’s Gate” Mary says, “That was 6-7 years ago”.

“Bullshit!!” Kate yells, Morgan tries to hold her back, “My mother would never be a part of a fucking Cult. Be a goddamn peggie?!. Fuck no!!”.

Mary scoffs, “She betrayed us, she betrayed the Cult, and look what happened to her. Joseph had some of his followers kill her”.

Kate's voice starts to tremble, and takes a deep breath “Lies. all fucking lies!!!. She wouldn’t let a bunch of inbred hillbilly motherfuckers kill her”.

Morgan practically drags Kate out of the bar, and back to their car.

“Kate, you have to calm down!!!” Morgan tells her.

Pacing, aggressively scratching her head, “That’s all bullshit. My mom would never join the fucking Cult. I know she’s not dead, I know it. My uncle Brent said he needed her help as well with the whole thing with Aunt Flora”.

“Okay. Kate you need to relax. Let’s go home, and you can sleep for a bit. Then we can tell the others later”.

Morgan puts Kate in the passenger side, and drives them home.

Kate goes into her room, and tries to sleep for a bit.

1:30 in the afternoon, and she still has a lot more people to tell about her departure in a few months.

Tossing and turning in her midday nap. She had a very eerie about an old enemy demon that at one time needed to harvest her soul because she was, or she still is the true vessel to this particular demon.

Lilith the first demon to be created by Lucifer himself.

That bitch demon that her cousin Sam had killed several years earlier, she was resurrected by Crowley, or Alister, or Asmodeus one of them demon fuckers brought her back, along with Abaddon.

-The dream-

Unable to sleep even her own dream, or should I say nightmare, Kate has a hard time sleeping.

“Hello Katella” a female voice says.

Kate wakes up, sitting up in her bed, and sees Lilith.

“What do you want?!?” she asks, angrily. Narrowing her eyes at the demon.

“You already know what I want” she says, walking towards her, and sitting at the edge of her bed.

“And you already know the answer” she replies, “It will always be no”.

“I will get you to say yes” she replies in a threatening tone.

Kate scoffs, rolling her eyes “I won’t let you harvest my soul, my body. I won’t let you. No matter what you do”.

Lilith stands up, walking in front of the bed, and says.

“I know how much you love your sister. Paige. Her and Abaddon are basically counterparts, just like how Sam and Lucifer, Dean and Michael. You and I”.

Kate stands up from her bed, “Paige will never let Abaddon harvest her soul, and I won’t let you. The whole thing with Sam, Dean, Lucifer and Michael was a different story”.

Lilith’s eyes turn white, “I will harvest your soul. No matter what. You’re my other half, my true vessel.”

“You need my consent to harvest my soul. You can stay in that meatsuit of yours”.

Lilith scoffs, walking towards her “I don’t need your consent. I can just harvest your soul. Just like any other demon”.

“Not while I’m around” a male voice says, “Stay away from my human”.

Lilith stops, and turns around. Sees Archangel Gabriel.

She groans in annoyance, rolling her eyes “Of course. One of Heaven’s feathery boys”.

Even though this is all a dream, Kate is relieved that her Trickster Archangel best friend is here.

He narrows his eyes at the demon, “As Kate’s guardian Angel. I won’t let you anywhere near her pure, good soul”.

Lilith laughs softly, “And what are you gonna do about it?!?. By the way how was being tortured by Asmodeus?”.

She smirks, and that was a huge mistake the first demon ever to be created has ever said.

“He fed off of my grace for years!!” he yells, his eyes turning purplish white.

He banishes Lilith away with a bright light. Kate covers her eyes from the blinding light of the Archangel.

Turning back to face the Archangel, he stares at her with those whiskey color eyes.

They stare at each other, “Gabriel?” she whispers.

He slowly approaches her, placing his hand on her cheek. Kate practically melts to his touch.

Sighing softly, closing her eyes. The heat radiating off this angel is very comforting.

Gabriel slowly pulls her closer to him, and-

-end of dream-

Kate wakes up from her very good dream, she’s been having it for a couple weeks now.

It always ends the same way. Gabriel banishing Lilith to Hell probably, caresses her cheek, and pulls her in closer to him.

Probably to kiss her, because Gabe is her guardian Angel, Michael being Paige’s and her mothers is unknown probably Raphael.

That dream is probably telling her something, a sign or some kind of foreshadowing.

Later that day, her and Morgan leave to hang out with their group of friends. 3:30pm.

They all go to the campsite they went to several months earlier when Kate first met Wheaty.

“You guys are leaving?!?” Sarah asks.

Kate and Morgan nod their heads, “Yeah, we are”.

“How are you guys gonna get out?!” Ivan asks.

“We’re not sure yet” Morgan answers.

“We’re driving out. Obviously” Kate says.

They all sit around an unlit bonfire, chatting. Going over their two friends that are leaving. As they're talking, a Cult truck stops near their campsite.

4 peggies come out, all male, rifles in hands. They approach the group of young adults.

“Kate Winchester!!” one of them calls out.

The group of friends turn to Kate, except Morgan her eyes are locked on the 4 peggies.

“What do you want?!?” she asks.

“John wants you to go by the church. Now” another peggie answers.

Kate and Morgan turn to each other.

She gets up, and they guide her to their truck, climbing into the backseat, and they drive out of the Whitetails, and back to Holland Valley.

Dropping her off in front of Falls End church.

Unsure what John wants, or what he wants to talk about.

She walks inside, and sees John with his back to her, standing in front of the panel.

Having flashbacks to 5 in half months ago, when all that shit happened.

“Hey John” she says, her voice echoing.

He turns around, a huge smile on his face.

“Hello Katie” he says, with enthusiasm, and excitement in his voice.

She walks towards him, swinging her hands at her sides, clapping them.

“Soo” she says, “Why did you call me here?”.

He sighs loudly, echoing throughout the church.

“It’s a surprise” he says with a hint of malice in his voice.

Kate raises her eyebrows at him, “Really?. Am I gonna like it?!?”.

John chuckles at her cuteness, the innocence in her voice. How cute, naive and innocent she sounds.

“You’re gonna love it” he says with emphasis on the word love.

“Well I look forward to seeing it” she replies, stepping closer to him.

He stares at her with a smirk, “Well to give you a few hints, it might ring a bell, and it’s gonna be very engaging”.

Kate awkwardly chuckles at him, and John notices something is off about her.

“Darlin’. What’s wrong?” he asks, moving her hair away from her face.

Stammering over her words, trying to hold back tears.

“Its-It’s nothing” she lies, John catches on.

“Don’t lie to me sweetheart. What’s wrong?” he places his hand on the back of her head.

She looks down at the ground, and before she could tell him. Her phone rings, she pulls it out, and sees her sister's name.

Her eyes widened at her phone screen, she looks up at John.

“I’m sorry I really need to take this” she tells him. He nods his head.

She steps away, standing near the front door of the Falls End church, and answers her phone.

“Hey!” she says into her phone.

Paige on the other end, sounding like she just woke up.

“You called, and gave me a very lecural voicemail” she says in a groggily voice, “What’s so important?”.

“Uncle Brent called me. Him, aunt Laura, our cousins, and Barbara need our help” she explains to her older sister.

“For what?!” she asks, voice still groggily.

“Our great aunt Flora made a deal with a demon, and she needs our help” she whispers, so that John can’t hear her.

“Okay. So we head back to Jackson, and leave when?” she asks.

“November 2nd. That’s when we leave to Philly” she whispers to her.

Paige sighs, “Okay. I’ll call Brent, and get more details. But we’re gonna talk out our issues, and you’re gonna have to leave school”.

“Well I graduated, and have my Master of Science degree in Psychology” she tells her, “So me leaving school won’t be necessary”.

They hang up, and Kate turns back to John who is leaning against the panel. His head tilted to the side. Smirk on his face.

“Sorry that was my sister” she tells him.

He can still see the sadness, and worried in her eyes.

“Katie, darlin’. Answer my questions, what’s wrong?.

She sighs, looking down at the floor, “I have to leave Hope County”.

The expression on his face changes from happy to sadness mixed with anger.

“No. No you can’t leave me” he tells her, his voice getting upset, “Why are you leaving me?!?”.

“I don’t want to. My family needs me” she further explains to him, “They need my help. A family member is in deep trouble with some sketchy people”.

John shakes his head, tears starting to form in his eyes, “You can’t leave. I love you, I need you” his voice going hoarse.

“You mean a lot to me. You changed me Kate. I love you, I need you here with me”.

Kate starts to cry, her eyes going red. “I love you too. I can’t leave my family hanging. I’ll come back when we return from Pennsylvania. I have never loved, or cared for anyone before. You’re my first real boyfriend, you took my virginity. Everything we’ve done and been through was all real”.

John tries to smile through his tears. He loves Kate, he really does love her.

He never wanted her to go through any pain. He wants her to stay in Hope County with him.

But he knows how family oriented she is, and that’s why he loves her. He wants to have a family with her. Grow old together in the ranch house, or maybe move to the West Coast, and start their family.

The possibilities are endless for them, but he unfortunately has to accept that she has to leave in a few months, and he wants to spend every moment with her.

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

Text

'Not mine' : New chapter for Redemption of a Spirit in a Cold War is out !

'Not mine'

Chapter Summary :

Bell passed out after confronting Adler and memories is coming back....fake & real ones

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

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One week.....one week to finally come face-to-face with Russell Adler in person. One week where I was thinking at each moment about what I will do : make him suffer like he did to me three years ago, make him realize his own mistakes he has done towards me and the others. He lied to everyone about me : he said them that I died at Solovetsky and he kept it a secret. He did this because he & the CIA was someone that know too much about them and my supposed 'threat' on the Free World.

I had him tied up on the same stretch he put me on and I did this because of what he did to Park : he put his dirty hands on her throat, going to strangle her and I had to intervene. I told him everything that I knew about myself and.....and I was ready to do it.....to take my revenge from him for having left me for dead on that island, to have lied to me, I was ready to do it.....but I didn't do it !

I didn't do it because I realized that it was going to get me killed as well. Killing Adler is like, writing myself my death warrant immediately, getting pursued by the CIA and for sure, Park will have to be obliged to pursue me as well with the MI6. I had no choices but to let him live with his own actions. I walked out of the safehouse, trying to get some fresh air before falling on my knees as Park decided to join me and recomfort me.

That wasn't helping me at all even if I could understand her. I let a monster live and I'm sure as hell that I will have to work with him again against Perseus. He's the only person that can bring the fight to Perseus and if I was just alone, I wouldn't have any chances to stand right. I wanted to put my arms around Park but.....I wasn't able to move like if I was petrified, I just saw Adler standing right in front of me, it was just a simple vision as I could hear the real him in the safehouse and this vision were wearing the same clothes at Solovetsky and then.......

"Bell, we have a job to do !"

I closed my eyes knowing in a second, I would pass out because I couldn't resist to that and I think I wasn't willing to do a thing right now since I was feeling so empty to fight....to resist. And that's exactly what happened to me, I passed out and it was all black for me until I started to see some weird dreams and those were lasted a few seconds and everything was like mixed in my head, I could hear the voices of these dreams.

".....From the safety of Solovetsky....."

".....It was never personal....."

"....The United States and its allies....."

".....I never wanted this for her....."

"......Freya....you.....my few friends....is my family...."

".....Stay by your side at every moment...."

It was all mixed up but these voices, I could recognize each time : Perseus, Adler, Park and even myself and then, I stopped hearing those voices and seeing these dreams. I think it was better for me to calm down and try to focus on myself but I just passed out and I don't know what is happening to me at this moment.....I just need to rest.....

I was lying down on a bed and I was sleeping but I realized that.....oh no.....a damn fake memory.....it was something Adler gave me : Vietnam....I slowly opened my eyes and it was all dark around me but I was able to recognize the inside of a military tent and by the look of it, it was sure that it was at Vietnam.....why I'm thinking of this ? It's not my memory so why I'm doing this ?

The bed I was on wasn't really comfortable and somehow, I was having the impression that I wasn't alone in that tent, feeling observed as my body was slowly getting stressed out since this tent is able to fit for one person like an personal quarters. I moved to turn on the little lamp that was put on an big ammo box, serving as an nightstand and when I looked around once the light was on, I could see someone sitting on a chair, looking at me......Adler !

"Sleeping well.....Bell." He smirked at me when I had my eyes on him

"What the...." I started, almost jumped off my bed in scare, terrified by his presence "What the fuck ?" I finished in anger.

"Hey, easy, lady." He was sounding so calm in his voice.

"What are you doing in my tent ?" I first ask before I realized that I had another thing in hand "Who are you ?"

"Can you calm down just a bit ?" He told me before he get something out of his pocket....a cigarette. "You're getting so stressed in here that you're getting angry at complete stranger."

"Yeah, especially those who broke inside my own personal tent in the middle of the night." I replied as I grabbed the glasses that was on the nightstand, to have a better look on him "I'm gonna ask again : who are you ?" I asked again as he started to light his cigarette before looking at me.

"Russell Adler, MACV-SOG." He presented himself "You must be Jess Blackwell also called 'Bell' sent by the MI6 in the Vietnam's jungles." He added as I redressed myself on the bed.

"We could have make the presentations tomorrow and not while I'm sleeping." I exclaimed, rolling my eyes, keeping an angry look

"I prefer to make things in private." He responded, taking something at his feets "I learned a lot about you, miss Blackwell."

"Call me Bell." I said to him before sniffing but he wasn't looking surprised like if he already know that.

"I see that you are just an MI6 recruit and that you're only 18." He raised an eyebrow to me "Why the MI6 would send an 18 year old recruit in the Vietnam War ?"

"I don't know." I replied, clearly "I'm here to obey the orders given to me, that's it."

"And you were so willing to put yourself around people who aren't even your friends and perfect strangers, people that are trained well enough to kill and people who aren't going to be so pleased to work with an woman ?" He breathed at the end, awaiting for an answer. I nodded.

"Well, they will have to adapt." I responded

"I know you would say that." He removed the cigarette of his mouth to blow smoke "You know that you are getting assigned to my team until your superiors decide to pull you out."

"I know that." I readjusted my glasses. "You need to know that I put the Crown's interests at first before those of your president." I smirked at the end, little laughing too.

"Hmm..." He rolled his eyes and smiling "Something that I should have take notes." He then woke up from his seat, getting next to me "Anyway, you will be under my authority for an undetermined time." He then offered his hand.

"Guess that I have no choice." I shook hands with him, a fake smile on my face before I removed my hand "And now, I would have some sleep so if you can left..."

"I will." He said before he slowly walk away from me as I was awaiting that he completely left the tent before he looked back at me "Oh and don't forget......

......we have a job to do !"

No....not again, not that stupid phrase. At least after hearing this, that fake memory was finally over. Hearing this each time is going to break me apart because each time, I either freaking out and trying to control it or falling for it. In fact, I can't control myself when I hear this. I think it would take time for me to succeed to get that line out of my head and if I'm forced to hear it, finding a way to fight against it until it doesn't do anything to me anymore.

I don't know how I will do it but I will surely find a way to counter that.....fearing that Adler could maybe try to control me in the future but if anyone know now who I am and what I suffer, will they really let him doing it before they're able to shut him down ? For the moment, it was better for me to get some rest and.....aw, great....another memory coming inside my head....and for once, it was not a fake at all....

All around me, it was snowing and I was laying down on the snow. At my side, there were Zasha, also laying down on the chest, a sniper rifle in hands.....A scoped Mosin-Nagant M1891/30. We were positioned on a hill near a large forest. We were dressed in some military outfits, nicely fitting to the snow. The day was clear but very snowy and apparently, I was training them to learn to shoot with an sniper rifle on some targets down the hill, all posed against some trees.

They started to fire some bullets, giving 10 seconds between each shot to get focus on the targets. I let them fire a whole mag of the Nagant before they looked at me as I took my binoculars out to check the targets.

"2 bullets in the targets." I started, getting a view on the three first targets at the right side down the hill before looking at the left "3 has missed." I removed my binoculars to look back at Zasha.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Yirina." They excused themselves as they were beginning to reload the gun

"What are you sorry for ?" I asked

"It's been hours we're here and I'm feeling that I make you lost your time with me." They stopped by what they were doing to look at me. "Sniper rifles aren't my thing."

"It's okay to be sorry, Zed." I replied "It took me hours, even days to allow me to get along with those types of guns."

"I don't know how to feel about this." They put their hands on one of the numerous ammo mag that were near them

"Listen, I'm not losing my time at all." I affirmed, putting my hands on their shoulders "I'm trying to train you to survive."

"By using a sniper rifle ?" They asked, confused and I rolled my eyes in the skies, smiling

"Just get the next mag ready, okay ?" I gave them a little tap on the shoulder before letting them reload the rifle "Wait until I gave you the order." I positioned myself well to look at them "Take your time to shoot, get your lungs empty when you are getting prepared and don't stress." They prepared themselves well until I decided to start "You can go."

I keep a good eyes on them as they were getting focused on their training. Empty lungs, don't breathe too heavily to allow the enemy to spot you and everything that a good sniper need to know about. After a few seconds I told them to go, the first bullet was shot and after ten more seconds, another came....and another. It took 50 seconds for them to empty the gun and then, once they were done, they looked at me, awaiting and I looked with the binoculars to the targets.

"Well, that's good progress." I said with an clear voice. "4 bullets on....only one missed."

"Really ?" They asked, stunned as I gave them the binoculars to look by themself "Oh damn." They exclaimed after they gave it back to me. "I can't believe it."

"See ? Told you." I raised an eyebrow "Don't need to stress each time." I then looked down the hill "But, you will have next time to fire more quickly and precisely. 50 seconds is too long."

"I'm...." They started to said, wanting for sure to be sorry "Nevermind."

"It's okay to be sorry !" I affirmed to them, guessing their words before I start to look at the skies, feeling the snow falling on me as Zasha was getting his rifle back on the snowy ground.

"Yirina, can I ask you something ?" They started.

"Anything." I looked back at them

"Back at the base, I heard people calling you by a strange nickname and they said to me that you weren't really approving that." They were looking curious to ask me that and when I heard them, I was concerned "Why ?"

"Because it make me look like a cold-blooded and brutal soldier." I responded, looking away and crossing my arms "Something that I'm not, something I will never be."

"And when did this all start ?" They redressed themselves to have a better look, removing the hat they had as the snow stopped falling down.

"After an mission in Norway with Freya." I started, taking a deep breath "An NIS task force captured her when they discover that she was an double agent and I helped escape through the cold mountains before I went back to their homemade base to kill them all." I could feel a tear falling off my right eye "They hit her pretty badly."

"Shit, that must be hard for you at that time." They were sounding worried about me.

"They almost killed her and I was so blinded by rage that I took that decision to kill them all.....I shouldn't have ever done this." I sniffed "When I went back to the extraction point with Freya awaiting, everyone was starting to call me like that when I realized the brutality I used against the NIS."

"But people are still calling you like that, you know ?" They exclaimed, sounding a little angry "I thought that they would stop to call you like that after they knew your opinion."

"Perseus.....he is forcing me to keep that nickname." I looked at them with an sad look "He said that it's allowing me to distinguish from the others." I shooked my head in disapproval, biting my lips before standing up "Well, it's better we got back to the base, we're done here." I then helped Zasha gathered up their training equipment and get them up.

"Thanks, Yirina." They said after I got them up before they started to slowly walk away from the scene as I was getting into my thoughts whispering the nickname in question.....

"The Winter Soldier."

Once that memory was done, there were nothing else new getting inside my head for the moment, allowing me to have finally a rest even if that rest was because of me passing out in Park's arms outside the safehouse after I almost put a bullet in Adler's skull but at least, I was getting a good sleep......well, just a sleep, that's enough for now.

I opened my eyes slowly after a good time....getting waking up by the sound of a radio inside the room. I was back into the dorm, under some blankets.....the same bed as before. Park must have put me back in there after I passed out. My head.....well, it was hurting me a lot like if I had a damn headache and because of it, I was holding my head with my hands as it was feeling so heavy right now.

"You're okay ?" An voice surprised me, getting me a scare as I was inside my hands before I looked up to see Mason, standing next to me with his arms towards me. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, didn't want to scare you." He said, apologizing to me before he sit on the next bed on the right.

"You're looking great for an dead woman." Another voice said on the other bed at my left and I was surprised to see Woods, sitting on it, joking. "Sincerely, you're okay ?" He asked me, getting back to serious

"Well, my head is feeling so heavy....like if it's trying to kill me." I smiled nervously before getting my hands back to hold my head, my elbows posed on my knees

"Here, something for you." Mason moved to give me a glass of water, it was so looking white and somehow, I've got scared !

"Is that drugged ?" I asked, feared, trying to get the cup away from me "I don't want to be drugged !" I exclaimed. I guess that now I knew that the food given to me 3 years ago was rigged, I was fearing that again now.

"Hey, it's okay." Woods reassured, looking not sure to get next to me "Just water with some aspirin on it." He affirmed before I decided myself to get the cup of water with my trembling hands and the two men could see that. "Damn, Adler did really messed you up."

"So, Park told you everything, right ?" I asked, an hand holding my forehead, the other holding the glass

"Basically, she told us what happened to you and your real identity." Mason replied concerned "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, Mason." I smiled at him before taking a little sip from the glass "Bad things happened to me, I can tell that but now that I'm back, I hope I can make things better." I added, trying to get the water inside my body as it was hard with aspirin in it.

"I hope you will." Woods affirmed before looking at me with wide eyes "So....Yirina Grigoriev ?" I nodded with a small grin "It's looking cool."

"Thanks." I simply said before I started to think of something "What happened last night ? I mean after I....uhm....passed out ?"

"Let's say that Adler had to give us a lot of explanations after what he did." Mason responded to me, looking dead serious "He told us everything that happened to you and the fact that he knew you were still alive all along."

"And....and Park ?" I asked, worried as hell

"She took care of you after you passed out before she started to get into a big argument with Adler." Woods intervened "Their arguments did put a lot of noises around the safehouse." I was now fearing the worst with that.

"If he has put his hands on her again....." I started to get up from my bed

"Yirina, don't worry." Mason cut me straight, moving to put me back in the bed "Did I say it right ?" He whispered, I nodded quickly with a very small grin "We were there in case they were going to put their fists against each other."

"And hopefully that we were there with Sims, I can't remember the numerous times that we got to get ourselves between them." Woods smirked at me, joking again.

"And now ?" I questioned them

"The two are getting quiet in their respectives workplaces with Sims keeping an eye to them." Mason responded with an smile "You shouldn't worry about them, you know ?"

"I'm only worried for Park." I admitted without saying why exactly before I got back myself comfortable in the bed. "She's the only person I want to be worried about."

"And why her ?" Woods asked, curious

"Because she believe in me and she's helping me." I replied clearly before I breath "I...I think I need to be alone just for a while."

"It's okay, get some rest, you're a good person." Mason started before he got up from the bed with an smile before Woods started to follow him, giving me a good look.

"Be well, Yirina." He said with a fake russian accent, causing me to laugh a little from it before I found myself back alone in the dorm with a radio on, I looked around before I put my head back in my hands,

"Am I really a good person ?"

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #fem!bell #helen park

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dogfightz · 4 years

Text

wonderful

pairing: ron weasley x oc

year: 4th

warnings: nothing really, just fluff. also i wrote this for myself thinking no one else would see it lmao.

also please note, this oc has a lot of character development, and one of the characters is another oc! for a little backstory, she’s oliver woods younger sister, she’s a ravenclaw and her parnets basically disowned her when they found out. she stayed with remus and dora and the burrow sometimes because her family knew them. but yeah, that’s a little backstory, now please enjoy :)!

(gif made by me!)

scarlet woke up bright and early on saturday. you may be asking why but she had a small date with ron weasley today. god, everyone knew. harry, hermione, draco, eva, fred and george(they wouldn't stop talking about it in the common room).

scarlet placed her feet on the blue rug, stepping out of bed as luna looked at her. she was up early. luna smiled at scarlet as she turned the pages of one of the many herbology books around the girls dorm. scarlet smiled backand walked over to her dresser, trying to find an outfit. the girl fished out a blue and yellow flannel, a nude turtle neck, and some black jeans.

scarlet grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom. cho was just coming out, she rolled her eyes at scarlet. scarlet was very confused. it seems like cho had became friends with all the mean ravenclaw girls and even some of the mean slytherins, leaving scarlet and luna behind. they weren't very close but it still hurt scarlet.

scarlet ignored cho, and simply walked into the bathroom, throwing her clothes off and getting dressed. she already got a shower the night before to save time. once she was done, she walked back to her dorm with luna, and sent an owl to oliver, her brother.

"Dear Oli,

How's life? I haven't sent in owl in a few days but I got your letter. Today, I am going to Hogmade with Ron. Just a day with my best friend. Have you heard from mom? Or dad? Let me know.

Snape was talking about how you were so good in potions, saying I should be better. I think it's because I'm friends with Harry. Also, I heard you got the spot on the team! Good for you, I'll be coming to your next game in January. For now, I'll keep sending the letters.

Until next time,

Scarlet R. Wood."

she finished the letter in no time, looking up at the clock. 9:30. ron said to come down for breakfast at 9:35 but she decided to go a bit early. she grabbed her scarf and she headed down to the Great Hall, smiling the whole way.

when she got there it was about 9:33, she was early but it was alright. she saw that ron, hermione, neville, and harry were all out of bed. odd. harry always slept late, maybe it was for training? scarlet didn't question it too much because she was now sitting right next to ron.

"hey, you're early." ron smiled, harry rolled his eyes. why was he was jealous? he liked cho. "of course i am, i'm always early." scarlet replied, taking some pancakes from the table. ron smiled. "i guess you're right.." he replied awkwardly. "well, i've gotta go to hagrids for tea..i'll see you guys later." harry spoke, fixing his glasses. everyone nodded as fred, george, and evanora malfoy came to the breakfast table.

"hey ron! do you remember the protection spell we gave ya?" fred asked, winking. "shove off, fred." ron replied, his face as red as his hair now. scarlet laughed softly. "ronald, you're not embarrassed, are you?" hermione asked, ron rolled his eyes at her. ron was embarrassed but scarlet found it cute. she smiled, and kissed his cheek lightly, making ron even more embarrassed.

ron and scarlet walked to the entrance of hogsmeade, scarlet anxiously grabbing his hand. ron smiled. "sorry..i'm just a bit nervous. i heard cho is going to be here....she hates my guts." scarlet chuckled softly. ron nodded softly. "she's a bloody bitch." ron mumbled softly as scarlet began walking towards the candy shop.

as the pair arrived, they spotted luna and neville. the pair was buying some chocolate frogs. scarlet smiled at the pair as ron ran to acid pops. he loved those things, and scarlet had no clue why. "hey ron, why do you like those so much?" scarlet asked coming up behind the boy. he jumped slightly. "you scared me!" he laughed but then shrugged. "but i'm not sure, scarlet. why do you ask?" "i don't know, just curious. ooh! jelly slugs!" scarlet smiled, walking over to the slugs. ron laughed. "you're so odd." he smiled, picking up two packs of the slugs. ron also had about four acid pops.

the pair made their way over to chocolate frogs, ron smiling like a fool. he loved chocolate, and so did scarlet. "how many do you want?" ron asked. "four is fine, i can pay for them. oliver sent me about 50 gallons." ron's eyes went wide. "50? merlin!" ron laughed, hanging her four of the frogs.

they paid for their things and decided to go get some food and butter beer with harry and hermione who ended up coming later on.

ron and scarlet walked into one of the restaurant that actually allowed younger people in it. harry and hermione were already there. ron waved at them, walking over to the pair.

harry forced a smile onto his face as he noticed the pair holding hands and hermione sighed. "you've gotta move on, harry. i heard ginny likes you." hermione spoke. harry rolled his eyes. "i like cho." harry replied quickly. hermione looked at him with that look. "fine, i still like her. but not as much as i use to. it just hurts to see he-" harry stopped when he saw the pair inches away from the table. they hadn't heard anything, which was a good thing.

"hey guys." scarlet smiled, looking over at ron briefly. "hey, how was your day so far?" hermione smiled wiggling her eyebrows. scarlet laughed. "oh hush. we've only been here for 35 minutes. we've only went to the candy shop. we're gonna go to the bookstore after this." scarlet replied to the comment.

ron was quiet, which wasn't normal for him. scarlet picked up on it, quickly, too. but the waiter came quicker than normal, so she hadn't gotten the chance to ask what was up with him until after.

"hey, what's wrong?" scarlet whispered to the boy while hermione and harry were distracted. "nothing, i just feel bad about the whole harry situation. i shouldn't be such a git about everything." ron admitted. scarlet nodded. "hey, love, don't feel bad about it-" scarlet stopped, she had realized she had called the boy love. ron turned bright red, but scarlet continued her statement.

"we all make mistakes, as cliché as it sounds, we really do. now, cheer up. please." scarlet smiled as she directed her attention back hermione who was telling us about fred asking her to the ball.

it was now 8:45pm, and all the kids were making their way back to the castle. ron and scarlet walked hand and hand laughing. "oh my god, once! once-let me tell you about this-" scarlet said in between wheezes, "my dad always wanted oliver to fly like flawlessly- so he'd take him outside to practice, and one day oliver fell off his broom and the broom hit my dad in the head so hard-" the pair laughed as harry looked on with jealousy.

"harry, you really need to realize scarlet doesn't feel like same. she obviously likes--no loves—ron." hermione mumbled. "i know, i know hermione. i think i'm gonna ask cho to the ball." he smiled. hermione smiled too. the pair didn't know that cho was with cedric.

"one time fred shit his pants." ron wheezed. scarlet spat one of her gummi slugs out at the comment. "when he was 10." ron continued. "no fucking way!" scarlet laughed harder, hanging ron a gummi slug.

ron, scarlet, harry, and hermione all plowed into the common room, everyone laughing. it was a great day. "hey guys, i had fun but i've really gotta get back to my dorm." ron frowned. "uhm..why don't you just stay here? you can sleep on my bed or something." ron spoke awkwardly. "okay—okay fine, but i've gotta write to my brother in the morning." scarlet agreed.

ron lead scarlet to the dorm. everyone had separate dorms with one other person. sometimes, they didn't even have another person. scarlet smiled at the smell of the room. pine, mint, and flowers. it was wonderful. she had been in his dorm before but it didn't smell this good. maybe she was just distracted.

"do you wanna go to bed now?" ron asked, a smile on his face. "sure." scarlet spoke, returning the smile. "can i borrow some clothes from you?" she added. ron blushed before mumbling an "of course."

he handed the girl some red pj pants and grey shirt. she nodded and went into the bathroom connected into the dorm. she slipped her other clothes off, taking her rings and necklace off, sticking them in the pocket of her jacket. she slipped the pants on before putting the shirt on and returning to ron.

when she came back ron was laying on his bed, smiling and looking up at the ceiling. scarlet smiled at the boy again, walking over to the small bed and laying down on her, her head laying on the boys chest. ron blushed softly, as he awkwardly wrapped his free arm around her figure.

"thank you." scarlet mumbled softly, closing her tired eyes. "for what?" ron inquired. "today, silly." she chuckled. "you're welcome. but thank you even more. i had such a fun time.." he smiled, tempted to kiss the top of her head. but he was too nervous.

"scar, do you wanna go to the ball with me?" ron asked, confidently. "y-yes! of course!" she smiled, flipping her body so she was facing the boy. he smiled and cupped the girls cheeks gently, kissing her. scarlet smiled, wrapping her legs around the boy's waist. ron's face heated up as he realized what she was doing.

he had no problem with it, it wasn't a bad thing at all. it was just terrifying, for both of them. but even while thinking this, they kept kissing each other, sloppily, though. scarlet pulled away, placing her forehead up to the boys.

"you're wonderful, ron weasley."

#ron weasley #ron weasley x oc #harry potter #hermione #hermione granger #fred weasley #george weasley #writing

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angelcorebabyowo · 4 years

Text

Title: Honeydew

Warnings: Brief mention of suicidal thoughts

Summary: Lydia, Johann and edward get ready for a party and it's all OOC because yeah

"I don't even want to go!" Johann complains adjusting his poet's shirt and flopping down into the window bench with a huff as Lydia just as quickly starts to brush through his unkempt hair, he even closed his eyes whenever the strokes got gentler. He typically didn't go to parties unless he was performing and he, sadly, wasn't invited to do that this time. Honestly, the only reason he agreed to go was that it was considered rude to ignore an invitation from the mayor so he felt as if there wasn't really even a choice. Maybe he should just fake sick to get out of it, that wouldn't be all that bad, just a simple little head cold.

He sighs softly and leans back into his sister so that he wasn't jerked around as much, he was a bit tender-headed so it made it easier on both of them now that he wasn't wincing every three seconds. "It'll be perfectly fine babes, don't stress so much. You'll get gray hairs if you do it too much." Lydia warned with a small grin, her unnaturally sharp canine teeth looking unnatural amongst the normal ones. A few years ago she dragged everyone into sharping them but she continues to do it every time they run down even slightly. It would be weird if she didn't make it look so damn good " Although I bet you'd love that, huh?"

"Oh, you better believe it" Johann joked sticking just the tip of his tongue out of his mouth by habit. That wasn't a lie, he always fantasized about the thought of having grayish-silver hair at a young age and everyone in the family knew it and would make fun of him at every chance they could. He knew it wouldn't be a good look or actually enjoy it but it still made him laugh every time so he didn't really think that far ahead on the subject. His dad had gone completely grey by the time he was 30 and Edward, his brother, was starting to already so signs of it at the ripe age of 16 so it was possible that he could develop early on as well. "Could you imagine me being completely grey by my 20th birthday? You'd have to start calling me sir in a sign of respect!"

"You get no respect, none" Lydia laughs and stops brushing Johann's hair for a quick second before starting to do the very loose twist with her fingers. It was one of the easiest hairstyles she knew that could be done in half an hour or less. "Put it in a bun or just leave it down? Either way, it's getting twisted because I've already started."

"Maybe in a bun? " He mumbles leaning more onto the window and looking out at the city the setting sun was hitting just perfect to cast a somewhat orange and pink glow on the tops of certain buildings. He assumed his apartment complex was one of them do to the height alone. He sometimes wanted to just sit on the ledge and watch the sunset that way, one false mood and he would plummet ten stories down before landing in the pool below. He wondered if he'd still be alive by that point.

"A buns always a safe option." She whispers interrupting his thoughts and gently putting his hair in a bun before taking a step back to look at her handiwork "Its a little high but I think you should be good. That way it's nearly a safe bet, not one person would recognize you."

"Do you think Avi would still recognize me though?" Johann questions as he looks into the vanity mirror and puts on a fix inspired mask. He forgot why he picked a fox, maybe do to their cunning abilities or something along those lines. He'd picked it out when he first got the invitation weeks ago so all memories seemed to just fade from him.

"Avi would recognize you even if you didn't have a face or hair, now stop being a love-stuck puppy and both of you finish getting ready. " Edward interrupts walking into the room. How no one heard him walking down the hall with the obnoxiously loud heels was beyond everyone. He was also wearing his mask already. A cream scaled one with a few black scales mixed into it as it added ' Flavor '

'Snake' was the first thing that came to Johann's mind whenever he first saw it all those weeks ago, and even today his mind couldn't stop from going to that place no matter how many times Edward insisted it was a dragon inspired one. Johann still wondered what kind of snake it would even be, maybe just a simple corn snake. Edward wasn't that mean, after all, he wouldn't pick something venomous after all.

"I am ready." Johann insists pointing to his outfit, the only thing he had to do was change into some dress pants and he'd be off to go.

"I was talking about both of you. More specifically Miss. "I'll do it later" over there," Edward says, he had a point after all. Lydia wasn't even remotely ready to go at that point. Her hair was pulled into an over-the-top and eye-drawing hairstyle and her nails were done to perfection, but other than that her clothes were just basic pajamas "go get dressed before we leave you at home."

Lydia smirks before patting Edward on the cheek in a taunting manner. "Talking mad shit for someone who got his license suspended."

"Johann can! Right, you can still drive?" Edward questions flopping down onto Johann's bed with a loud sigh as the bed creaks under the new weight. He winced at the sound but overall didn't say anything about it.

"I'm 15 years old and haven't even taken the exam yet"

"Didn't ask how old or if it was legal just asked if you knew how."

"I refuse to let either one of you drive my car," Lydia says before walking out of the room to actually go get ready knowing that the other two would actually leave her behind.

"Our car!" Edward calls before leaning over and closing the door fully and sighs loudly again before laying up against the headboard already messing up his golden capelet and neon blue shirt. He really couldn't stand not being the center of attention for a single second, he always dressed like that so it wasn't that far of a bet after all. "We have ten minutes before it starts but you know the saying-"

"Arriving fashionably late is better than arriving on time, shows how little you care." Both of them say at the same time although while Edward sounds cheerful Johann just sounds even more tired then he always does as if he was trying to drag it out for as much as he possibly could. Johann sat at the vanity trying to figure out how he was going to cover up the bags under his eyes that, even with the mask, were extremely prominent. he eventually just settled on leaving them there as it seemed to add character to the entire look. (He was going for a renaissance era poet who just lost his husband due to some mysterious illness. He seemed to actually be hitting all of the points except for the crying but no way was he going to cry in front of people.)

They sat in silence now, it wasn't awkward, in fact, it was more comfortable than anything. Edward was doing something on his phone and Johann was trying not to have a panic attack because he was actually going through with this while struggling to fit pants that were a little too tight on. Alright, so maybe it wasn't all that comfortable but it was close enough to it.

After about 20 minutes Lydia rushed in with a smile wearing bother her outfit and mask on. It was a multi-colored short yet puffy dress that fell off the shoulders and a mask that looked suspiciously like a peacock with the number of feathers that seemed to be hastily glued on. "All they had at the store was the plain ones so I had to glue the feathers and sequins on myself so now it looks as if a 3-year-old designed it!" she complained before going over to Edward and promptly laying down on top of him with an over the top sigh. "Woe is me."

"Well whose fault is that L? We offered you to come with us weeks ago but Noooo, you needed to wait till the last second like some sort of troublemaker," Edward says pushing her off and then promptly standing up and rubbing his eyes slightly and throws the keys he had been hiding in his pockets to Lydia with a pout.

"Off we go come along little children!" Lydia says before walking out the door again, the sound of her boots echoing through the mostly empty hall. The only thing in them was a few paintings of fruit painted in over the top and crazy colors and a single statue at the end of the hall that they won at an auction a few years ago for like a thousand dollars,

It wasn't worth it.

"We're the same age!" Johann argues running after her trying to put on some of his slip-on shoes as he walked. It didn't fit the look but no way was he also going to wear heels, that was pushing it too far for him at best.

"Stairs or Elevator?" Edward askes whenever all three make it out of their apartment building and into the main hallway "I'm taking the stair because no way am I getting Vored by an elevator"

"Stop being so mean to me!"Edward whines but gets in the elevator anyway with a pout and it started to go down, Lydia was babbling about how much fun tonight would be and her brothers both groaned in unison.

"That's baby talk. Grown-men take getting eaten like a champ." Lydia says with a small laugh before hitting the button to take them to the main lobby "Johann baby, what are you taking?"

"I'm already in pain so I'll just take the elevator, fuck walking down 10 flights of stairs. "Johann says pushing his way into the elevator and gently holds on to the railing. "Ed gets in here, I refuse to sit next to you if you walk down down disgusting!"

If this was going to happen all night then what a fun one it would be.

#yes their step siblings in this #thoight it would be fun #taz edward and lydia #taz johann #fanfic #originally on ao3 #taz balance #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance

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pbandjesse · 5 years

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It's been such a nice Christmas Eve. I finally felt like I was actually on vacation. For the most part. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything that I didn't want to do. We can just move slowly.

I slept well last night. I woke up a couple times but mostly just cuz I was thirsty. I got up at 9 and I felt okay. Got washed and dressed. And then I hung out my room until mom was ready at 10.

We went to Friendly's for breakfast. Turns out from this Monday through Thursday during breakfast is always 50% off. So our entire meal was $12. That was cool. It was nice just hanging out too. Talking and laughing. It was good.

We went over to Sally Beauty First. I picked up hair dye. I'm going for a more red purple look this time. I'm going to do that tomorrow night. We left there and try to wander over to Habitat for Humanity but they were closed on Mondays. Oh well. We got back in the car and we went over to the Goodwill. We had very good luck there.

I got a great new blanket. Because that's what I needed in my life. I also got another pair of clogs which have break in the heel but still very comfortable. I'm going to have to fuss with them a little bit but very cute. We looked through all the stuffed animals to try to find three similarly-sized bears to get to Steve's kids. We actually found three Build-A-Bears. But the one was kind of dingy so we switched out for a pink bear. I also found a stuffed animal for sleepy and had a fun time looking around. I got a couple small things. A new sweater and I'm going to work at the Christmas party on Friday. And I got a cast iron heart baking tray. I grabbed a couple things and put them back. But mostly I just had a good time looking around and taking pictures of things and laughing at stuff with Mom.

We went over to the other side of the parking lot to go to Target. I got some of the home good stuff I needed. I wanted to find a new cup to replace the one I had smashed the other day. And the one I got I really like. It's silver. And it has a weird neon green or yellow straw. That's probably my least favorite part but it's leak-proof and it's the same brand and if I drop it it will not explode. And worst case I can paint the neon parts. It's not the worst.

We were going to also get groceries while we were there but they were short on a couple things that I wanted so we left and we went to Redner's.

I was running out of steam but we got the groceries we needed. I got some laughs from some of the others customer it's because I kept throwing things in the cart from too far away. We paid and we headed home.

When we got back here we unpacked and then I spent the next hour and a half working on lesson plans. I could not for the life of me remember where the list of terms they need to learn our. So I was very annoyed with myself. But I did get the first 4 weeks kind of mapped out. The lesson plans aren't exactly done but they're on their way. I will for sure finish at least some more of that tomorrow. And then I'll start a couple more. I would like to get the six done before the end of the week.

Around 3 I went to my room and lay down for a bit. I didn't nap but I did watch some videos and play on my phone. At 4:30 everyone started getting dressed and we got out of here pretty quickly relatively speaking.

Dad made a reservation at Bonefish Grill. I have never been but the men you didn't really seem promising. At least vegetarian wise. But I kind of just wanted a salad. So it worked out for me. We went and it was really really nice.

We all eat too much bread. Dad spilled olive oil all over the table. I got a Cobb salad that has avocado and kale and it was very good. That also got an appetizer that I ate the lettuce for an appetizer that was good too. Food was really good and it was nice talking to my parents. My brother texted me while we were at dinner and we're going to see him tomorrow. But I did invite him and his girlfriend to come to Baltimore to see me and be a tourist. I hope he takes me up on it.

And we all got dessert which was way too much. He had already eaten too much food. And the chocolate thing I got was a little too much chocolate. But we were full and happy and tired. Where did over the live nativity so we can all have some animals. The goats and the Sheep were butting heads and it was very cute. We went in the church to take a picture with the Christmas tree. Pastor woman was very sweet but did not know how to take pictures. But that was fine. It was just nice being altogether.

We are back here and Mom put the clothes in the dryer so I could dry my clothes that I had washed earlier in the day. And then we all got together to open presents.

I got to go first. I got a dapping set for a jewelry making. Which is going to be great once me and James moved to a new place. I'm just going to work on collecting my jewelry making stuff and cleaning up the stuff I already have since I can't really make metal jewelry in the space I am now since my floor is tile and I will break it if I try to hammer anything on it. I also got some rose petal bath salts and a cool metal anchor. I also got 12 boxes of pasta salad. My favorite kind of pasta salad. So he's very excited about that.

They also gave me some money and that that went towards the jacket in the jeans I got yesterday. Plus I was able to buy a couple of the things on my Amazon shopping list like the tea diffuser and purse I have had my eye on. So overall a really good Christmas.

Mom and Dad open all their gifts next. They really liked the things I got them. And then they both opened the why I love Mom and why I love Dad books I had filled out. I made mom cry. That's an accomplishment. We try to do that every year. I'm glad that they really appreciated hearing from me. They are very important to me and they are very good parents.

After everyone opened their gifts I remember James had left one for me to open why he wasn't here. And it was the deer we had looked at on Amazon a few weeks back that reminded me of toy act when I was a kid. He also wrote a very cute note to go along with it. The deer does make me laugh though because it has a very uneven shoulders. He's very soft and we have named him Cupid. Because of love and stuff.

I hung out in the living room with them for a while. But now I'm in bed. Surrounded by about 12 blankets. Of varying softness. I'm going to go to sleep soon and tomorrow we're going to have a really chill Christmas. We're going to go visit my brother at lunch time. And then we're going to come home. And I'm going to work on lesson plans. And I'm going to lay around and do nothing. And then me and Mom are going to make dinner. I hope to watch a Muppets Christmas Carol and just enjoy a nice day. I hope you all do as well weather you celebrate or not. Good night everyone. Merry Christmas.

#ootd #babe #selfie #family #sheep #thriftstore #christmas eve #christmas #monday #happy

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whenallisquiet · 4 years

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From a crisis statistician in my London Business School WhatsApp:

Christoforos Anagnostopoulos, Lecturer at Imperial College

The next two months will be critical. We will remember them for the rest of our lives. I would like to offer a few pieces of information, under the burden of my professional capacity as a statistician who is working in crisis modelling and simulation, and the additional burden of the dearth of data that we have for this new virus.

Our best current estimate of the mortality rate of Covid-19 is around 1%, with a range of 0.5%-2% (source in the first comment). This differs from the so-called snapshot CFR which is obtained by dividing the number of deaths by the number of confirmed cases, and which varies in the range of 2%-5% or more per region. The snapshot CFR is factually accurate, but not very predictive, so let's run with 1% as a median expectation. This is still at least 20 times worse than the flu. The belief that "the flu kills more people every year" will soon be proven wrong. The related belief that "maybe most of us have caught it already and didn't realise" is also unlikely to be proven right: the virus is indeed mild in about 80% of cases, but, conservatively, for every 95 mild cases, at least 5 additional severe cases would have been admitted to hospital, and hence tested, and hence become known. Although we are extremely uncertain about the absolute number of mild cases, we have good evidence that the majority of the population has not yet fallen ill, and, as a result, the worse is yet to come. The virus is probably twice more contagious than the flu, and almost certainly contagious before symptoms appear.

So the facts, such as they are, indicate that COVID-19 is worse than the flu, more contagious than the flu, and already widespread, but nowhere near widespread enough that we have seen the worse of it. The situation in Europe (and elsewhere) is about to get worse, much worse, and fast. The only thing we can control is how fast. This is why, I reiterate, the next two months are critical. We are still within the window of opportunity of slowing the virus down - we can no longer stop it, but we can slow it down. A lot. This is known as the "flattening of the curve": the effort to delay the peak of the outbreak, and reduce its height by spreading it over a longer period of time, so that the number of critically ill patients remain within the capacity of the national health system. The only lever we can pull right now to achieve this is behavioural change: better hygiene, and social distancing, which I elaborate upon below. Before I do, let me drive home why this is worth doing, as it is common to argue "why bother? Why sustain the economic cost? Since we're all going to get this anyway and the majority of cases are mild?".

Here is why. According to a recent count, we have about 5K ICU beds in the UK. For every death it is sensible to expect about 3 to 5 critically ill patients that require an ICU bed for about 4 weeks. Let's go with the lower bound of 3. If the case fatality ratio is correct at about 1%, and if 10% of the population gets this virus within the same 4-week period, we will require 180K ICU beds. We have 5K. That's more than 30 times higher than the available capacity. If critically ill patients have to stay at home, without mechanical ventilation, they will succumb to the disease at greater numbers. The mortality will increase. The contagiousness will increase as loved ones will have to try and take care of critically ill patients at home. The social trauma will increase as patients die in their homes.

It is hence clear that delaying this virus is now a public service. And delaying this virus is hard, but simple: try your best not to get it. You can achieve this by extreme measures of personal hygiene and moderate measures of social distancing:

- Wash your hands thoroughly. As if you've just chopped chilli peppers and you're about to remove your contact lenses. Use liquid soap or alcohol-based solution. Do it 10 times a day.

- Treat every surface as possibly infected, and your phone as a Petri dish. If possible, keep it somewhere safe with your keys and wallet and do not use it indoors, or near your bed.

- By default, cancel everything. Reduce all non-essential travel, all non-essential social interaction. Spend time with your kids indoors. Work from home if you can. Or be outdoors, keeping at least six feet between your family and other people.

- Do not shake hands. Avoid meetings in closed spaces if you can.

- But keep working, if you can. Sustain your economic contribution both demand-side and supply-side as much as you can, without exposing yourself physically. Don't watch TV and check your Facebook feed every five minutes. Stay safe, keep working.

- There is little and contested evidence that masks help a healthy individual, but it is certain they help when used by medical professionals, and when worn by people that are ill. Leave masks for those that need them.

- The elderly are particularly at risk, which is not common across all viruses. The best thing you can do for your elderly neighbours and relatives is to help them stay indoors (shop for them), but avoid seeing them in person if you can.

And remember this: democracies deal with emergencies by relying on personal responsibility and voluntary behavioural change. Take this responsibility seriously. And demonstrate leadership. It is a common misconception that leadership lies with government only. This is not true. Leadership is everywhere. Every employer, every manager, every teacher, every public servant, every parent is a leader. Everyone who makes decisions on behalf of other people is a leader. Every handshake is a decision. If you're young and healthy and fall ill, you'll most likely be OK. But the best way to protect the groups at risk, like the elderly and those with chronic conditions, is not to catch the virus yourself. Deny it the opportunity to use your body as a vector. Fight it.

The above sounds alarming, and it's meant to be. But it is not a call to panic. Panic is not only unhelpful, it is also unwarranted. Do not empty the supermarkets. We should not be anticipating shortages in staple products, so do not entertain that self-fulfilling expectation. The CDC advice is sensible: stockpile enough food in case you have to self-quarantine for two weeks. Do it responsibly: just shop twice as much in every visit, and in about a week you'll be ready. There is no reason to panic. It is very unlikely that the supply chain will collapse as a result of this virus. Its mortality is high, but not that high, and it tends to spare the demographic that is most crucial for a nation to function: adults between 20 and 40, who are the majority of our policemen, our soldiers, our firemen, our logistics employees, our doctors and our nurses. Even if we all catch this virus, the absolutely vast majority of those of us that need to keep on working for the nation to avoid collapse will survive it. This does not detract from the tragic effect this would have on the populations at-risk. But it is a cynical albeit rational reason not to panic, and not to fear collapse.

So be very pessimistic in the short-run. But be unwaveringly optimistic for the long-term. A vaccine is extremely unlikely to reach us in the next 12 months, but it is almost certain to do so in 18-24 months - the technology is well understood, well underway and there are no fundamental stumbling blocks. Meanwhile, anti-virals (which is the equivalent of antibiotics, but for viruses) will reach us far earlier; with some luck, they might be available within 2020. When they arrive, they will likely have a big impact on mortality and severity. And take solace in the fact that the virus spares children under 9 (0 deaths so far). There is some justice even in this tragedy. There is also the hope, and some weak evidence, that the virus might prove to be seasonal, like the flu, in which case the summer's arrival will give us an interlude to lick our wounds, and allow the health system and the scientific community to prepare for the coming winter.

Science has come together in an unprecedented manner to combat this epidemic. I have been watching this evolve from the very first week, and recall my heart sinking when, in early February, it was observed that the virus is contagious before symptoms appear, that telltale characteristic of pandemic-strength viruses. But I have also been deeply touched by record after record being broken by scientists all around the world. Humanity has fought much nastier bugs than this, and won, every time. We will win this time, too. Share on social media, inform your friends, protect the groups at-risk, stay at home, keep working.

Friday 13 March 2020

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40sandfabulousaf · 4 years

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Some US influencers are starting to address the coronavirus situation while others in the UK are also asking where to get hand sanitising lotions because the drugstores have run out. Here's a tip in case you need it: buy the next best thing - Dettol wet wipes. Not only are they gentle enough for your hands, they're great for wiping down surfaces if you're concerned about being in a crowded public space.

Just to be clear, I'm not, in any way, linked to Dettol - as an ambassador, affiliate, whatsoever. This is not sponsored, not an ad and I do not make a cent from my suggestion. I'm sharing purely because we're 'ahead of the game' so to speak and have been coping with the situation for awhile now. We've also had past experience with other virus outbreaks and passing on our knowledge will help more people to deal with the current situation.

I'm also grateful to the influencers in the US and UK who've spoken out against xenophobia as a result of the coronavirus outbreak and encouraging people to be more nuanced when talking about the situation so as not to cause mass hysteria. From someone living in the midst of it, all I can say is, life goes on as normal, as long as we take the necessary precautions against catching and spreading the virus.

Bottomline: stay calm and do your best to protect yourself and your loved ones. Eat nutrient-dense foods, explore alternative medicinal herbs (cordyceps are great!), exercise whenever you can, get enough rest, destress with music, books, meditation, singing, dance or Netflix and practise better hygiene.

Speaking of dance, the bluish-haired babe in this video is probably not considered curvy but...

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A post shared by B A B Y B L U E ❄️ (@kyla_fajardo) on Feb 26, 2020 at 6:08pm PST

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OMG her hair is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 I know curls are popular in Western countries but for Asians in Southeast Asia, many of us love the sleek, straight look for a reason and this IS the reason. Waves and curls just don't have that same movement, even if they're also attractive in their own way.

In my early to mid 30s, I had almost waist-length hair like this. Seeing it again gives me all the feels, especially since I love dance... 😍

Anyway, I digress, sorry! 😋 It's good to see Americans paying more attention to health matters, because it truly is necessary during this period if we're all to weather the storm together. Yes, it IS tough, I won't deny it. However, rather than panic and go crazy, our emotional wellbeing can be better protected when we know there're ways to take care of ourselves and our loved ones.

Before sharing the curvy babes, here's a tip for busy bees who really cannot set aside a full hour block to get active. Each time you get off the couch or bed to use the washroom or grab a glass of water, do 5 to 10 squats. When you get back, before you sit or lie back down, do another 5 to 10. When bedtime rolls around, you'll have done plenty.

Now if you already squat and are looking for other calisthenics exercises to do, here's the babe you should check out.

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A post shared by 🙋SQUATGIRLSGUIDE💁 (@squatgirlsguide) on Mar 2, 2020 at 7:12am PST

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You wanna work those glutes, right? There're several to choose from; just swipe right!

What if you don't wanna be indoors and you prefer some fresh air and sun, both of which are especially helpful for dealing with virus outbreak situations?

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A post shared by Ebony Bates (@efightingtogetfit) on Feb 23, 2020 at 2:05pm PST

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Well, you take a cue from Ebony and get out there with cardio and plyometrics! Cardio has gotten such an unfair bad rep in recent years, especially from gym rats and bunnies. But let me set this straight for you: in the 1980s, aerobics was the rage and guess what? People were like... healthy too, you know? 😂

Just a heads up, you will pant. And that is perfectly normal. Because what panting does is, it expands your lungs, it gives them a good workout and it keeps them strong. 1 of the coronavirus symptoms is pneumonia and a good set of lungs is so important during this period, so run, jump rope, do those jumping jacks and dance, yeah, even on the streets!

Other ways to get strong are:

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A post shared by 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝙼𝚊𝚖𝚒 𝙵𝚒𝚝𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 (@thickmamifitness) on Mar 3, 2020 at 7:47am PST

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Lifting/gymming...

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A post shared by Marcela Baccarim (@marcelabaccarim) on Feb 27, 2020 at 6:13am PST

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Big weights or small doesn't matter, and...

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A post shared by Candice Brathwaite (@candicebrathwaite) on Mar 5, 2020 at 10:29am PST

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Cycling. It's fantastic cardio too, btw!

And now we have the favourite way to get active, by far. I mean, really. So many laydehs are great at dancing and it's an exercise that makes everyone happy.

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A post shared by DAY/WON Activewear (@yourdaywon) on Mar 2, 2020 at 1:06pm PST

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I've loved Hawai'i since I stayed there in my mid-20s. What a treat it is to see the gentle, sensual sway that is their form of dance!

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A post shared by sahra (@sahra_n.n) on Feb 26, 2020 at 11:19pm PST

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When curvy babes take to the dance floor, they work it like anyone else can.

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A post shared by SARAH WHITING (@sarah_whiting_) on Mar 5, 2020 at 1:33pm PST

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Another sexy dance form like salsa and zumba, the samba can also be done outdoors!

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A post shared by Big Moves (@bigmoves_bayarea) on Feb 13, 2020 at 5:40pm PST

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If you're looking for an inclusive and safe space to dance, check out this group. They hold auditions to join them too 👌

Let's get real, ok? Ok. Many of us think that the coronavirus is on its way to becoming a pandemic. However. Since when has panic and hysteria gotten anyone anywhere? The best thing you can do - for yourself and your loved ones - is to keep calm and find ways to boost your immunity, as well as take the necessary precautions.

It's also about time that nations unite to fight the spread of the virus rather than turn against one another (hear that Trump and all those bozos demanding an apology from China?). Being myopic and bigoted isn't gonna get us anywhere, so let's all have some humble pie, sit down together and start the conversation. We'll benefit from this.

Till the next post, stay sweet!

#goldenconfidence #itsmyconfidence #positivity #positivethoughts #positivemind #positivelife #positiveliving #bepositive #positivevibes #positivelifestyle #visiblyplus #visiblyplussize

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clarenceomoore · 7 years

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Voices in AI – Episode 16: A Conversation with Robert J. Sawyer

Today's leading minds talk AI with host Byron Reese

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In this episode, Byron and Robert talk about human life extension, conscious computers, the future of jobs and more.

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Byron Reese: This is voices in AI, brought to you by Gigaom. I’m Byron Reese. Our guest today is Robert Sawyer. Robert is a science fiction author, is both a Hugo and a Nebula winner. He’s the author of twenty-three books, many of which explore themes we talk about on this show. Robert, welcome to the show.

Tell me a little bit about your past, how you got into science fiction, and how you choose the themes that you write about?

Robert Sawyer: Well, I think apropos of this particular podcast, the most salient thing to mention is that when I was eight years old, 2001: A Space Odyssey was in theaters, and my father took me to see that film.

I happen to have been born in 1960, so the math was easy. I was obviously eight in ’68, but I would be 41 in 2001, and my dad, when he took me to see the film, was already older than that… which meant that before I was my dad’s age, talking computers [and] intelligent machines would be a part of my life. This was promised. It was in the title, 2001, and that really caught my imagination.

I had already been exposed to science fiction through Star Trek, which obviously premiered two years earlier, [in] ’66. But I was a little young to really absorb it. Heck, I may be a little young right now, at 57, to really absorb all that in 2001: A Space Odyssey. But it was definitely the visual world of science fiction, as opposed to the books… I came to them later.

But again, apropos of this podcast, the first real science fiction books I read… My dad packed me off to summer camp, and he got me two: one was just a space adventure, and the other was a collection of Isaac Asimov’s Robot Stories. Actually the second one [was] The Rest of the Robots, as it was titled in Britain, and I didn’t understand that title at all.

I thought it was about exhausted mechanical men having a nap—the rest of the robots—because I didn’t know there was an earlier volume when I first read it. But right from the very beginning, one of the things that fascinated me most was artificial intelligence, and my first novel, Golden Fleece, is very much my response to 2001… after having mulled it over from the time I was eight years old until the time my first novel came out.

I started writing it when I was twenty-eight, and it came out when I was thirty. So twenty years of mulling over, “What’s the psychology behind an artificial intelligence, HAL, actually deciding to commit murder?” So psychology of non-human beings, whether it’s aliens or AIs—and certainly the whole theme of artificial intelligence—has been right core in my work from the very beginning, and 2001 was definitely what sparked that.

Although many of your books are set in Canada, they are not all in the same fictional universe, correct?

That’s right, and I actually think… you know, I mentioned Isaac Asimov’s [writing] as one of my first exposures to science fiction, and of course still a man I enormously admire. I was lucky enough to meet him during his lifetime. But I think it was a fool’s errand that he spent a great deal of his creative energies, near the later part of his life, trying to fuse his foundation universe with his robot universe to come up with this master plan.

I think, a) it’s just ridiculous, it constrains you as writer; and b) it takes away the power of science fiction. Science fiction is a test bed for new ideas. It’s not about trying to predict the future. It’s about predicting a smorgasbord of possible futures. And if you get constrained into, “every work I did has to be coherent and consistent,” when it’s something I did ten, twenty, thirty, forty—in Asimov’s case, fifty or sixty years—in my past, that’s ridiculous. You’re not expanding the range of possibilities you’re exploring. You’re narrowing down instead of opening up.

So yeah, I have a trilogy about artificial intelligence: Wake, Watch, and Wonder. I have two other trilogies that are on different topics, but out of my twenty-three novels, the bulk of them are standalone, and in no way are meant to be thought of as being in a coherent, same universe. Each one is a fresh—that phrase I like—fresh test bed for a new idea.

That’s Robert Sawyer the author. What do you, Robert Sawyer the person, think the future is going to be like?

I don’t think there’s a distinction, in terms of my outlook. I’m an optimist. I’m known as an optimistic person, a techno-optimist, in that I do think, despite all the obvious downsides of technology—human-caused global climate change didn’t happen because of cow farts, it happened because of coal-burning machines, and so forth—despite that, I’m optimistic, very optimistic, generally as a person, and certainly most of my fiction…

Although my most recent book, my twenty-third, Quantum Night, is almost a deliberate step back, because there had been those that had said I’m almost Pollyanna-ish in my optimism, some have even said possibly naïve. And I don’t think I am. I think I rigorously interrogate the ideas in my fiction, and also in politics and day-to-day life. I’m a skeptic by nature, and I’m not easily swayed to think, “Oh, somebody solved all of our problems.”

Nonetheless, the arrow of progress, through both my personal history and the history of the planet, seems definitely to be pointing in a positive direction.

I’m an optimist as well, and the kind of arguments I get against that viewpoint, the first one invariably is, “Did you not read the paper this morning?”

Yeah.

People look around them, and they see that technology increases our ability to destroy faster than it increases our ability to create. That asymmetry is on the rise, meaning fewer and fewer people can cause more and more havoc; that the magnitude of the kinds of things that can happen due to technology—like genetically-engineered superbugs and what not—are both accessible and real. And when people give you series of that sort of view, what do you say?

Well you know, it’s funny that you should say that… I had to present those views just yesterday. I happen to be involved with developing a TV show here in Canada. I’m the head writer, and I was having a production meeting, and the producer was actually saying, “Well, you know, I don’t think that there is any way that we have to really worry about the planet being destroyed by a rogue operator.”

I said, “No, no, no, man, you have no idea the amount of destructive power that the arrow of history is clearly showing is devolving down into smaller and smaller hands.”

A thousand years ago, the best one person could do is probably kill one or two other people. A hundred years ago they could kill several people. Once we add machine guns, they could kill a whole bunch of people in the shopping mall. Then we found atomic bombs, and so forth, it was only nations we had to worry about, big nations.

And we saw clearly in the Cuban missile crisis, when it comes to big, essentially responsible nations—the USSR and the United States, responsible to their populations and also to their role on the world stage—they weren’t going to do it. It came so close, but Khrushchev and Kennedy backed away. Okay, we don’t have to worry about it.

Well, now rogue states, much smaller states, like North Korea, are pursuing atomic weapons. And before you know it, it’s going to be terrorist groups like the Taliban that will have atomic weapons, and it’s actually a terrifying thought.

If there’s a second theme that permeates my writing, besides my interest in artificial intelligence, it’s my interest in SETI, the search for extra-terrestrial intelligence. And one of the big conundrums… My friends who work at the SETI Institute, Seth Shostak and others, of course are also optimists. And they honestly think, in the defiance of any evidence whatsoever, that the universe actually is teeming with aliens, and they will respond, or at least be sending out—proactively and altruistically—messages for others to pick up.

Enrico Fermi asked, actually, way back in the days of the Manhattan Project—ironically: “Well if the universe is supposed to be teeming with aliens, where are they?” And the most likely response, given the plethora of exoplanets and the banality of the biology of life and so forth, is, “Well, they probably emerge at a steady pace, extra-terrestrial civilizations, and then, you know, they reach a point where they develop atomic weapons. Fifty years later they invent radio that’s the range for us, or fifty years earlier—1945 for atomic weapons, 1895 for radio. That’s half a century during which they can broadcast before they have the ability to destroy themselves.”

Do they survive five-hundred years, five-thousand years, you know, five-hundred-thousand years? All of that is the blink of an eye in terms of the fourteen-billion-year age of the universe. The chances of any two advanced civilizations that haven’t yet destroyed themselves with their own technology existing simultaneously, whatever that means in a relativistic universe, becomes almost nil. That’s a very good possible answer to Fermi, and bodes not well at all for our technological future.

Sagan said something like that. He said that his guess was civilizations had a hundred years after they got radio, to either destroy themselves, or overcome that tendency and go on to live on a timescale of billions of years.

Right, and, you know, when you talk about round numbers—and of course based on our particular orbit… the year is the orbital duration of the Earth—yeah, he’s probably right. It’s on the right order of magnitude. Clearly, we didn’t solve the problem by 1995. But by 2095, which is the same order magnitude, a century plus or minus, I think he’s right. If we don’t solve the problem by 2095, the bicentennial of radio, we’re doomed.

We have to deal with it, because it is within that range of time, a century or two after you develop radio, that you either have to find a way to make sure you’re never going to destroy yourself, or you’re destroyed. So, in that sense he’s right. And then it will be: Will we survive for billions… ‘Billions’ is an awfully long time, but hundreds of millions, you know… We’re quibbling about an order of magnitude on the high-end, there. But basically, yes, I believe in [terms of] round numbers and proximate orders of magnitude, he is absolutely right.

The window is very small to avoid the existential threats that come with radio. The line through the engineering and the physics from radio, and understanding how radio waves work, and so forth, leads directly to atomic power, leads directly to atomic weapons, blah, blah, blah, and leads conceivably directly to the destruction of the planet.

The artificial intelligence pioneer Marvin Minsky said, “Lately, I’ve been inspired by ideas from Robert Sawyer.” What was he talking about, and what ideas in particular, do you think?

Well, Marvin is a wonderful guy, and after he wrote that I had the lovely opportunity to meet him. And, actually ironically, my most significant work about artificial intelligence, Wake, Watch, and Wonder came out after Marvin said that. I went to visit Marvin, who was now professor emeritus by the time I went to visit him at the AI Lab at MIT, when I was researching that trilogy.

So he was talking mostly about my book Mindscan, which was about whether or not we would eventually be able to copy and duplicate human consciousness—or a good simulacrum thereof—in an artificial substrate. He was certainly intrigued by my work, which was—what a flattering thing. I mean, oh my God, you know, Minsky is one of those names science fiction writers conjure with, you named another, Carl Sagan.

These are the people who we voraciously read—science fiction writers, science fiction fans—and to know that you turned around, and they were inspired to some degree… that there was a reciprocity—that they were inspired by what we science fiction writers were doing—is in general a wonderful concept. And the specificity of that, that Marvin Minsky had read and been excited and energized intellectually by things I was writing was, you know, pretty much the biggest compliment I’ve ever had in my life.

What are your thoughts on artificial intelligence. Do you think we’re going to build an AGI, and when? Will it be good for us, and all of that? What’s your view on that?

So, you used the word ‘build’, which is a proactive verb, and honestly I don’t think… Well first, of course, we have a muddying of terms. We all knew what artificial intelligence meant in the 1960s—it meant HAL 9000. Or in the 1980s, it meant Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation. It meant, as HAL said, any self-aware entity could ever hope to be. It meant self-awareness, what we meant by artificial intelligence.

Not really were we talking about intelligence, in terms of the ability to really rapidly play chess, although that is something that HAL did in 2001: A Space Odyssey. We weren’t talking about the ability to recognize faces, although that is something HAL did, in fact. In the film, he manages to recognize specific faces based on an amateur sketch artist’s sketch, right? “Oh, that’s Dr. Hunter, isn’t it?” in a sketch that one of the astronauts has done.

We didn’t mean that. We didn’t mean any of these algorithmic things; we meant the other part of HAL’s name, the heuristic part of HAL: heuristically-programmed algorithmic computer, HAL. We meant something even beyond that; we meant consciousness, self-awareness… And that term has disappeared.

When you ask an AI guy, somebody pounding away at a keyboard in Lisp, “When is it going to say, ‘Cogito ergo sum’?” he looks at you like you’re a moron. So we’ve dulled the term, and I don’t think anybody anywhere has come even remotely close to simulating or generating self-awareness in a computer.

Garry Kasparov was rightly miffed, and possibly humiliated, when he was beaten at the thing he devoted his life to, grandmaster-level chess, by Deep Blue. Deep Blue did not even know that it was playing chess. Watson had no idea that it was playing Jeopardy. It had no inner life, no inner satisfaction, that it had beat Ken Jennings—the best human player at this game. It just crunched numbers, the way my old Texas Instruments 35 calculator from the 1970s crunched numbers.

So in that sense, I don’t think we’ve made any progress at all. Does that mean that I don’t think AI is just around the corner? Not at all; I think it actually is. But I think it’s going to be an emergent property from sufficiently complex systems. The existing proof of that is our own consciousness and self-awareness, which clearly emerged from no design—there’s no teleology to evolution, no divine intervention, if that’s your worldview.

And I don’t mean you, personally—as we talked here—but the listener. Well, we have nothing in common to base a conversation around this about. It emerged because, at some point, there was sufficient synaptic complexity within our brains, and sufficient interpersonal complexity within our social structures, to require self-reflection. I suspect—and in fact I posit in Wake, Watch, and Wonder—that we will get that eventually from the most complex thing we’ve ever built, which is the interconnectivity of the Internet. So many synapse analogues in links—which are both hyperlinks, and links that are physical cable, or fiber-optic, or microwave links—that at some point the same thing will happen… that intelligence and consciousness, true consciousness, [and] self-awareness, are an emergent property of sufficient complexity.

Let’s talk about that for a minute: There are two kinds of emergence… There is what is [known as] ‘weak emergence’, which is, “Hey, I did this thing and something came out of it, and man I wasn’t expecting that to happen.” So, you might study hydrogen, and you might study oxygen, and you put them together and there’s water, and you’re like, “Whoa!”…

And the water is wet, right? Which you cannot possibly [have] perceived that… There’s nothing in the chemistry of hydrogen or oxygen that would make the quality of a human perceiving it as being wet, and pair it to that… It’s an emergent property. Absolutely.

But upon reflection you can say, “Okay, I see how that happened.” And then there is ‘strong emergence’, which many people say doesn’t exist; and if it does exist, there may only be one example of it, which is consciousness itself. And strong emergence is… Now, you did all the stuff… Let’s take a human, you know—you’re made of a trillion cells who don’t know you or anything.

None of those cells have a sense of humor, and yet you have a sense of humor. And so a strong emergent would be something where you can look at what comes out if… And it can’t actually be derived from the ingredients. What do you think consciousness is? Is it a ‘weak emergent’?

So I am lucky enough to be good friends with Stuart Hameroff, and a friendly acquaintance with Hameroff’s partner, Roger Penrose—who is a physicist, of course, who collaborates with Stephen Hawking on black holes. They both think that consciousness is a strong emergent property; that it is not something that, in retrospect, we in fact—at least in terms of classical physics—can say, “Okay, I get what happened”; you know, the way we do about water and wetness, right?

I am quite a proponent of their orchestrated objective reduction model of consciousness. Penrose’s position, first put forward in The Emperor’s New Mind, and later—after he had actually met Hameroff—expounded upon at more length in Shadows of the Mind… so, twenty-year-old ideas now—that human consciousness must be quantum-mechanical in nature.

And I freely admit that a lot of the mathematics that Hameroff and Penrose argue is over my head. But the fundamental notion that the system itself transcends the ability of classical mathematics and classical physics to fully describe it. They have some truly recondite arguments for why that would be the case. The most compelling seems to come from Gödel’s incompleteness theorem, that there’s simply no way you can actually, in classical physics and classical mathematics, derive a system that will be self-reflective.

But from quantum physics, and superposition, perhaps you actually can come up with an explanation for consciousness.

Now, that said, my job as a science fiction writer is not to pick the most likely explanation for any given phenomenon that I turn my auctorial gaze on. Rather, it is to pick the most entertaining or most provocative or most intriguing one that can’t easily be gainsaid by what we already know. So is consciousness, in that sense, an emergent quantum-mechanical property? That’s a fascinating question; we can’t easily gainsay it because we don’t know.

We certainly don’t have a classical model that gives rise to that non-strong, that trivial emergence that we talked about in terms of hydrogen and oxygen. We don’t have any classical model that actually gives rise to an inner life. We have people who want to… you know, the famous book, Consciousness Explained (Dennett), which many of its critics would say is consciousness explained away.

We have the astonishing hypothesis of Crick, which is really, again, explaining away… You think you have consciousness in a sophisticated way, well you don’t really. That clearly flies as much in the face of our own personal experience as somebody saying, “‘Cognito ergo sum‘—nah, you’re actually not thinking, you’re not self-aware.” I can’t buy that.

So in that sense, I do think that consciousness is emergent, but it is not necessarily emergent from classical physics, and therefore not necessarily emergent on any platform that anybody is building at Google at the moment.

Penrose concluded, in the end, that you cannot build a conscious computer. Would you go all that far, or do you have an opinion on that?

You cannot build a conscious classical computer. Absolutely; I think Penrose is probably right. Given the amount of effort we have been trying, and that Moore’s Law gives us a boost to our effort every eighteen months or whatever figure you want to plug into it these days, and that we haven’t attained it yet, I think he’s probably right. A quantum computer is a whole different kettle of fish. I was lucky enough to visit D-Wave computing on my last book tour, a year ago, where it was very gratifying.

You mentioned the lovely thing that Marvin Minsky said… When I went to D-Wave, which is the only commercial company shipping quantum computers—Google has bought from them, NASA has bought from them… When I went there, they asked me to come and give a talk as well, [and] I said, “Well that’s lovely, how come?” And they said, “Everybody at D-Wave reads Robert J. Sawyer.”

I thought, “Oh my God, wow, what a great compliment.” But because I’m a proponent—and they’re certainly intrigued by the notion—that quantum physics may be what underlies the self-reflective ability—which is what we define consciousness as—I do think that if there is going to be a computer in AI, that it is going to be a quantum computer, quantumly-entangled, that gives rise to anything that we would actually say, “Yep, that’s as conscious as we are.”

So, when I started off asking you about an AGI, you kind of looped consciousness in. To be clear, those are two very different things, right? An AGI is something that is intelligent, and can do a list of tasks a human could do. A consciousness… it may have nothing, maybe not be intelligent at all, but it’s a feeling… it’s an inner-feeling.

But see, this is again… but it’s a conflation of terms, right? ‘Intelligence’, until Garry Kasparov was beaten at chess, intelligence was not just the ability to really rapidly crunch numbers, which is all… I’m sorry, no matter what algorithm you put into a computer, a computer is still a Turing machine. It can add a symbol, it can subtract a symbol. It can move left, it can move right—there’s no computer that isn’t a Turing machine.

The general applicability of a Turing machine to simulating a thing that we call intelligence, isn’t, in fact, what the man on the street or the woman on the street means by intelligence. So we say, “Well, we’ve got an artificially-intelligent algorithm for picking stocks.”

“Oh, well, if it picks stocks, which tie should I wear today?”

Any intelligent person would tell you, don’t wear the brown tie with the blue suit, [but] the stock-picking algorithm has no way to crunch that. It is not intelligent, it’s just math. And so when we take a word like ‘intelligence’… And either because it gets us a better stock option, right, we say, “Our company’s going public, and we’re in AI”—not in rapid number crunching—our stock market valuation is way higher… It isn’t intelligence as you and I understand it at all, full stop. Not one wit.

Where did you come down on the uploading-your-consciousness possibility?

So, I actually have a degree in broadcasting… And I can, with absolutely perfect fidelity, go find your favorite symphony orchestra performing Beethoven’s Fifth, let’s say, and give you an absolutely perfect copy of that, without me personally being able to hold a tune—I’m tone deaf—without me personally having the single slightest insight into musical genius.

Nonetheless, technically, I can reproduce musical genius to whatever bitrate of fidelity you require, if it’s a digital recording, or in perfect analog recording, if you give me the proper equipment—equipment that already is well available.

Given that analogy, we don’t have to understand consciousness; all we have to do is vacuum up everything that is between our ears, and find analog or digital ways to reproduce it on another substrate. I think fundamentally there is no barrier to doing that. Whether we’re anywhere near that level of fidelity in recording the data—or the patterns, or whatever it is—that is the domain of consciousness, within our own biological substrate… We may be years away from that, but we’re not centuries away from that.

It’s something we will have the ability to record and simulate and duplicate this century, absolutely. So in terms of uploading ‘consciousness’—again, we play a slippery slope word with language… In terms of making an exact duplicate of my consciousness on another substrate… Absolutely, it’ll be done; it’ll be done this century, no question in my mind.

Is it the same person? That’s where we play these games with words. Uploading consciousness… Well, you know what—I’ve never once uploaded a picture of myself to Facebook, never once— [but] the picture is still on my hard drive; [and] I’ve copied it, and sent it to Facebook servers, too. There’s another version of that picture, and you know what? You upload a high-resolution picture to Facebook, put it up as your profile photo… Facebook compresses it, and reduces the resolution for their purposes at their end.

So, did they really get it? They don’t have the original; it’s not the same picture. But at first blush, it looks like I uploaded something to the vast hive that is Facebook… I have done nothing of the sort. I have duplicated data at a different location.

One of the themes that you write about is human life extension. What do you think of the possibilities there? Is mortality a problem that we can solve, and what not?

This is very interesting… Again, I’m working on this TV project, and this is one of our themes… And yes, I think, absolutely. I do not think that there’s any biological determinism that says all life forms have to die at a certain point. It seems an eminently-tractable problem. Remember, it was only [in] the 1950s that we figured out the double-helix nature of DNA. Rosalind Franklin, Francis Crick and James Watson figured it out, and we have it now.

That’s a blip, right? We’ve had a basic understanding of the structure of the genetic molecule, and the genetic code, and [we’re] only beginning to understand… And every time we think we’ve solved it—”Oh, we’ve got it. We now understand the code for that particular amino acid…” But then we forgot about epigenetics. We thought, in our hubris and arrogance, “Oh, it’s all junk DNA”—when after all, actually they’re these regulatory things that turn it on and off, as is required.

So we’re still quite some significant distance away from totally solving why it is we age… arresting that first, and [then] conceivably reversing that problem. But is it an intractable problem? Is it unsolvable by its nature? Absolutely not. Of course, we will have, again, this century-radical life prolongation—effective practical immortality, barring grotesque bodily accident. Absolutely, without question.

I don’t think it is coming as fast as my friend Aubrey De Grey thinks it’s coming. You know, Aubrey… I just sent him a birthday wish on Facebook; turns out, he’s younger than me… He looks a fair bit older. His partner smokes, and she says, “I don’t worry about it, because we’re going to solve that before the cancers can become an issue.”

I lost my younger brother to lung cancer, and my whole life, people have been saying, “Cancer, we’ll have that solved in twenty years,” and it’s always been twenty years down the road. So I don’t think… I honestly think I’m… you and I, probably, are about the same age I imagine— [we] are at a juncture here. We’re either part of the last generation to live a normal, kind of biblical—threescore and ten, plus or minus a decade or two—lifespan; or we’re the first generation that’s going to live a radically-prolonged lifespan. Who knows which side of that divide you and I happen to be on. I think there are people alive already, the children born in the early—certainly in the second decade, and possibly the first—part of the century who absolutely will live to see not just the next century—twenty-second—but some will live to see beyond that, Kirk’s twenty-third century.

Putting all that together, are you worried about, as our computers get better—get better at crunching numbers, as you say—are you among the camp that worries that automation is going to create an epic-sized social problem in the US, or in the world, because it eliminates too many jobs too quickly?

Yes. You know, everybody is the crucible of their upbringing, and I think it’s always important to interrogate where you came from. I mentioned [that] my father took me to 2001. Well, he took a day off, or had some time off, from his job—which was a professor of economics at the University of Toronto—so that we could go to a movie. So I come from a background… My mother was a statistician, my father an economist…

I come from a background of understanding the science of scarcity, and understanding labor in the marketplace, and capitalism. It’s in my DNA, and it’s in the environment I grew up [in]. I had to do a pie chart to get my allowance as a kid. “Here’s your scarce resources, your $0.75… You want a raise to a dollar? Show me a pie chart of where you’re spending your money now, and how you might usefully spend the additional amount.” That’s the economy of scarcity. That’s the economy of jobs and careers.

My father set out to get his career. He did his PhD at the University of Chicago, and you go through assistant professor, associate professor, professor, now professor emeritus at ninety-two years old—there’s a path. All of that has been disrupted by automation. There’s absolutely no question it’s already upon us in huge parts of the environment, the ecosystem that we live in. And not just in terms of automotive line workers—which, of course, were the first big industrial robots, on the automobile assembly lines…

But, you know, I have friends who are librarians, who are trying to justify why their job should still exist, in a world where they’ve been disintermediated… where the whole world’s knowledge—way more than any physical library ever contained—is at my fingertips the moment I sit down in front of my computer. They’re being automated out of a job, and [although] not replaced by a robot worker, they’re certainly being replaced by the bounty that computers have made possible.

So yeah, absolutely. We’re going to face a seismic shift, and whether we survive it or not is a very interesting sociological question, and one I’m hugely interested in… both as an engaged human being, and definitely as a science fiction writer.

What do you mean survive it?

Survive it recognizably, with the culture and society and individual nation-states that have defined, let’s say, the post-World War II peaceful world order. You know, you look back at why Great Britain has chosen to step out of the European Union.

[The] European Union—one can argue all kind of things about it… but one of the things it basically said was, “Man, that was really dumb, World War I. World War II, that was even worse. All of us guys who live within spitting distance of each other fighting, and now we’ve got atomic weapons. Let’s not do that anymore. In fact, let’s knock down the borders and let’s just get along.”

And then, one of the things that happen to Great Britain… And you see the far right party saying, “Well, immigration is stealing our jobs.” Well, no. You know, immigration is a fact of life in an open world where people travel. And I happen to be—in fact, just parenthetically—I’m a member of the Order of Canada, Canada’s highest civilian honor. One of the perks that comes with that is I’m empowered to, and take great pride in, administering the oath of Canadian citizenship at Canadian citizenship ceremonies.

I’m very much pro-immigration. Immigrants are not what’s causing jobs to disappear, but it’s way easier to point to that guy who looks a bit different, or talks a bit different than you do, and say that he’s the cause, and not that the whole economic sector that you used to work in is being obviated out of existence. Whether it was factory workers, or whether it was stock market traders, the fact is that the AIG, and all of that AGI that we’ve been talking about here, is disappearing those jobs. It’s making those jobs cease to exist, and we’re looking around now, and seeing a great deal of social unrest trying to find another person to blame for that.

I guess implicit in what you’re saying is, yes, technology is going to dislocate people from employment. But what about the corollary, that it will or won’t create new jobs at the same essential rate?

So, clearly it has not created jobs at the same essential rate, and clearly the sad truth is that not everybody can do the new jobs. We used to have a pretty full employment no matter where you fell, you know… as Mr. Spock famously said, “—as with all living things, each according to his gifts.” Now it’s a reality that there is a whole bunch of people who did blue-collar labor, because that was all that was available to them…

And of course, as you know, Neil Degrasse Tyson and others have famously said, “I’m not particularly fascinated by Einstein’s brain per se… I’m mortified by the fact that there were a million ‘Einsteins’ in Africa, or the poorest parts of the United States, or wherever, who never got to give the world what the benefits of their great brains could have, because the economic circumstances didn’t exist for them to do that in.”

What jobs are going to appear… that are going to appear… that aren’t going to be obviated out of existence?

I was actually reading an interesting article, and talking at a pub last night with the gentleman—who was an archaeologist—and an article I read quite recently, about top ten jobs that aren’t soon going to be automated out of existence… and archaeologist was one of them. Why?

One, there’s no particular economic incentive… In fact, archaeologists these days tend to be an impediment to economic growth. That is, they’re the guys to show up when ground has been broken for new skyscrapers and say, “Hang on a minute… indigenous Canadian or Native American remains here… you’ve got a slow down until we collect this stuff,” right?

So no businesses say, “Oh my God, if only archaeologists were even better at finding things, that would stop us from our economic expansion.” And it has such a broadly-based skill set. You have to be able to identify completely unique potsherds, each one is different from another… not something that usually fits a pattern like a defective shoe going down an assembly line: “Oh, not the right number of eyelets on that shoe, reject it.”

So will we come up with job after job after job, that Moore’s Law, hopscotching ahead of us, isn’t going to obviate out of existence ad infinitum? No, we’re not going to do it, even for the next twenty years. There will be massive, massive, massive unemployment… That’s a game changer, a societal shift.

You know, the reality is… Why is it I mentioned World War I? Why do all these countries habitually—and going right back to tribal culture—habitually make war on a routine basis? Because unoccupied young men—and it’s mostly men that are the problem—have always been a detriment to society. And so we ship them off to war to get rid of the surplus.

In the United States, they just lowered the bar on drug possession rules, to define an ability to get the largest incarcerated population of people, who otherwise might just [have] been up to general mischief—not any seismic threat, just general mischief. And societies have always had a problem dealing with surplus young men. Now we have surplus young men, surplus plus young women, surplus old men, surplus old women, surplus everybody.

And there’s no way in hell—and you must know this, if you just stop and think about it—no way in hell that we’re going to generate satisfactory jobs, for the panoply that is humanity, out of ever-accelerating automation. It can’t possibly be true.

Let’s take a minute and go a little deeper in that. You say it in such finality, and such conviction, but you have to start off by saying… There is not, among people in that world… there isn’t universal consensus on the question.

Well, for sure. My job is not to have to say, “Here’s what the consensus is.” My job, as a prognosticator, is to say, “Look. Here is, after decades of thinking about it…”—and, you know, there was Marvin Minsky saying, “Look. This guy is worth listening to”… So no, there isn’t universal consensus. When you ask the guy who’s like, “I had a factory job. I don’t have that anymore, but I drive for Uber.”

Yeah, well, five years from now Uber will have no drivers. Uber is at the cutting edge of automating cars. So after you’ve lost your factory job, and then, “Okay, well I could drive a car.” What’s the next one? It’s going be some high-level diagnostician of arcane psychiatric disorders? That ain’t the career path.

The jobs that are automated out of existence are going to be automated out of existence in a serial fashion… the one that if your skill set was fairly low—a factory worker—then you can hopscotch into [another] fairly low one—driving a car—you tell me what the next fairly low-skillset job, that magically is going to appear, that’s going to be cheaper and easier for corporations to deploy to human beings.

It ain’t counter help at McDonald’s; that’s disappearing. It ain’t cash registers at grocery stores, that’s disappearing. It ain’t bank teller, that already disappeared. It ain’t teaching fundamental primary school. So you give me an example of why the consensus, that there is a consensus… Here you show me. Don’t tell me that the people disagree with me… Tell me how their plot and plan for this actually makes any sense, that bares any scrutiny.

Let’s do that, because of… My only observation was not that you had an opinion, but that [it] was bereft of the word ‘maybe’. Like you just said ATM, bank tellers… but the fact of the matter is—the fact on the ground is—that the number of bank tellers we have today is higher than pre-ATM days.

And the economics that happened, actually, were that by making ATMs, you lowered the cost of building new bank branches. So what banks did was they just put lots more branches everywhere, and each of those needed some number of tellers.

So here’s an interesting question for you… Walk into your bank… I did this recently. And the person I was with was astonished, because every single bank teller was a man, and he hadn’t been into a bank for awhile, and they used to all be women. Now, there’s no fundamental difference between the skill set of men and women; but there is a reality in the glass ceiling of the finance sector.

And you cannot dispute that it exists… that the higher-level jobs were always held by men, and lower-level jobs were held by women. And the reality is… What you call a bank teller is now a guy who doesn’t count out tens and twenties; he is a guy who provides much higher-level financial services… And it’s not that we upgraded the skill set of the displaced.

We didn’t turn all of those counter help people at McDonald’s into Cordon Bleu chefs, either. We simply obviated them out of existence. And the niches, the interstices, in the economy that do exist, that supplement or replace the automation, are not comparably low-level jobs. You do not fill a bank with tellers who are doing routine counting out of money, taking a check and moving it over to the vault. That is not the function.

And they don’t even call them tellers anymore, they call them personal financial advisors or whatever. So, again, your example simply doesn’t bear scrutiny. It doesn’t bear scrutiny that we are taking low-level jobs… And guess what now we have… Show me the automotive plant that has thousands and thousands of more people working on the assembly line, because that particular job over there—spraying the final coat of paint—was done to finer tolerance by a machine… But oh my God, well, let’s move them…

No, that’s not happening. It’s obfuscation to say that we now have many more people involved in bank telling. This is the whole problem that we’ve been talking about here… Let’s take terminology and redefine it, as we go along to avoid facing the harsh reality. We have automated telling machines because we don’t have human telling individuals anymore.

So the challenge with your argument, though, is it is kind of the old one that has been used for centuries. And each time it’s used, it’s due to a lack of imagination.

My business, bucko, is imagination. I have no lack thereof, believe me. Seriously. And it hasn’t been used for generations. Name a single Industrial Revolution argument that invoked Moore’s Law. Name one. Name one that said the invention of the loom will outpace the invention of…

Human inventiveness was always the constraint, and we now do not have human inventiveness as the constraint. Artificial intelligence, whether you define it your way or my way, is something that was not invoked for centuries. We wouldn’t be having this conversation via Skype or whatever, like—Zoom, we’re using here—these are game changers that were not predicted by anybody but science fiction writers.

You can go back and look at Jules Verne, and his novel that he couldn’t get published in his lifetime, Paris in the Twentieth Century, that is incredibly prophetic about television, and so forth, and nobody believed it. Me and my colleagues are the ones that give rise to—not just me, but again that example: “Lately, I’m inspired by Robert J. Sawyer,” says Marvin Minsky. Lately I’m inspired by science fiction… I’m saying belatedly, much of the business world is finally looking and taking seriously science fiction.

I go and give talks worldwide—at Garanti Bank, the second largest bank in Istanbul, awhile ago—about inculcating the science fiction extrapolative and imaginative mindset in business thinkers… Because no, this argument, as we’re framing it today, has not been invoked for centuries.

And to pretend that the advent of the loom, or the printing press, somehow gave rise to people saying, “The seismic shift that’s coming from artificial intelligence, we dealt with that centuries ago, and blah, blah, blah… it’s the same old thing” is to have absolute blinders on, my friend. And you know it well. You wouldn’t be doing a podcast about artificial intelligence if you thought, “Here we are at podcast ‘Loom version 45.2’; we’re gonna have the Loom argument about weaving again for the umpteenth time.” You know the landscape is fundamentally, qualitatively different today.

So that’s a little disingenuous. I never mentioned the loom.

Let’s not be disingenuous. What is your specific example, of the debate related to the automation out of existence—without the replacement of the workers—with comparable skillset jobs from centuries ago? I won’t put an example [in] your mouth; you put one on the table.

I will put two on the table. The first is the electrification of industry. It happened with lightning speed, it was pervasive, it eliminated enormous numbers of jobs… And people at that point said, “What are we going to do with these people?”

I’ll give you a second one… It took twenty years for the US to go from generating five percent of its power with coal, to eighty percent. So in [the span of] twenty years, we started artificially generating our power.

The third one I’d like to give you is the mechanization of the industry… [which] happened so fast, and replaced all of the millions and millions and millions of draft animals that had been used in the past.

So let’s take that one. Where are the draft animals in our economy today? They’re the only life forms in our economy that can be replaced. The draft animals that can be replaced by machines, and the humans that operated them. Now we’ve eliminated draft animals, so the only biology in our economy is Homo sapiens. We are eliminating the Homo sapiens. You’re not gonna find new jobs for the Homo sapiens any more, than except maybe at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, where we found a job for a jackass.

Are you going to find a place to put a draft animal on the payroll today? And you’re not going to find a place to put Homo sapiens, the last biology in the equation, on the payroll tomorrow, except in a vanishing few economic niches.

So the challenge with that view is that in the history of this country, unemployment has been between four and nine percent the entire time, with the exception of the Depression… [between] four and nine percent.

Now, ‘this country’ meaning United States of America, which is not where I am.

Oh I’m sorry. Yes, in the United States of America, four to nine percent, with [the] exception of the Depression. During that time, of course, you had an incredible economic upheaval… But, say from 1790 to 1910, or something like that, [unemployment] never moved [from] four to nine percent.

Meanwhile, after World War II, [we] started adding a million new people, out of the blue, to the workforce. You had a million women a year come into the workforce, year after year, for forty years. So you had forty million new people, between 1945 and 1985, come into the workplace… and unemployment never bumped.

So what it suggests is, that jobs are not these things that kind of magically appear as we go through time, saying “Oh, there’s a job. Oh, that’s an unskilled one, great. Or that’s a job…” It just doesn’t happen that way—

—When women entered into the workforce—and I speak as the son of a woman who was a child prodigy, and was the only woman in her economics class at the University of California at Berkeley, who taught at a prestigious university—I have no doubt that there were occasional high-level jobs. But the jobs that were created, that women came in and filled—and are still butting against the glass ceiling of—were low-level jobs.

It wasn’t, “Oh my God, we suddenly need thousands of new computer programmers.” No, we’ve created a niche that no longer exists for keypunch operators, as an example; or for telephone operators, as an example; or for bank tellers, as an example. And those jobs, to a person, have been obviated out of existence, or will be in the next decade or two.

Yes, I mean, you make an interesting metric about the size of unemployment. But remember, too, that the unemployment figure is a slippery slope, when you say ‘the number of people actively looking for employment’. Now you ask, how many people have just given up any hope of being employed meaningfully, respectfully, in dignity? Again, that number has gone up, as a straight line graph, through automation evolution.

No, I disagree with that. If you’re talking about workforce utilization, or the percentage of people who have gainful employment, there has been a dip over the last… It’s been repeatedly dissected by any number of people, and it seems there’s three things going on with it.

One is, Baby Boomers are retiring, and they’re this lump that passes through the economy, so you get that. Then there’s seasonality baked into that number. So they think the amount of people who have ‘given up’ is about one quarter of one percent, so sure… one in four hundred.

So what I would say is that ’95, ’96, ’97 we have the Internet come along, right? And if you look, between ’97 and the last twenty years, at the literal trillions—not an exaggeration, trillions upon trillions upon trillions of dollars of wealth that it created—you get your Googles, you get your eBays, you get your Amazons… these trillions and trillions and trillions of dollars of wealth. Nobody would have seen that [coming] in 1997.

Nobody says, “Oh yes, the connecting of various computers together, through TCP/IP, and allowing them to communicate with hypertext, is going to create trillions upon trillions upon trillions of dollars’ worth of value, and therefore jobs.” And yet it did. Unemployment is still between four and nine percent, it never budges.

So it suggests that jobs are not magically coming out of the air, that what happens is you take any person at any skill level… they can take anything, and apply some amount of work to it, and some amount of intellectual property to it, and make something worth more. And the value that they added, that’s known as a wage, and whatever they can add to that, whatever they meaningfully add to it, well that just created a job.

It doesn’t matter if it is a low-skill person, or a high-skill person, or what have you; and that’s why people maintain the unemployment rate never moves, because there’s an infinite amount of jobs, they exist kind of in the air… just go outside tomorrow, and knock on somebody’s door, and offer to do something for money, and you just made a job.

So go outside and offer to do what, and make a job? Because there are tons of things that I used to pay people to do that I don’t anymore. My Roomba cleans my floor, as opposed to a cleaning lady, is a hypothetical example.

But don’t you spend that money now on something else, which ergo is a job.

Spending money is a job?

Well spending money definitely, yes, creates employment.

Well that’s a very interesting discussion that we could have here, because certainly I used to have to spend money if I wanted something. Now if I want to watch—as we saw this past week, as we record this… The new season of Orange is the New Black, before the intellectual property creators want to deploy it to me, and collect money for it… Oh, guess what? It’s been pirated, and that’s online for free.

If I want to read, or somebody listening to this wants to read any of my twenty-three novels, they could go and buy the ebook edition, it’s true; but there’s an enormous amount of people who are also pirating them, and also the audio books. So this notion that somehow technology has made sure that we buy things with our money, I think a lot of people would take economic exception with that.

In fact, technology has made sure that there are now ways in which you can steal without… And it comes back to the discussion we’re having about AI: “Oh, I now have a copy, you still have the original. In what possible, meaningful way have I stolen from you?” So we actually have game-changers that I think you’re alighting over. But setting aside that, okay, obviously we disagree on this point. Fine, let’s touch base in fifty years, if either of us still has a job, and discuss it.

The easy thing is to always say there’s no consensus. Then you don’t have to go out on a limb, and nobody can ever come back to you and say you’re wrong. What we do in politics these days is, we don’t want people to change their ideas. Sadly, we say, “Forty years ago, you said so-and-so, you must still hold that view.” No, a science fiction writer is like a scientist; we are open, all the time, to new information and new data. And we’re constantly revising our worldview.

Look at the treatment of artificial intelligence, our subject matter today, from my first novel in 1990, to the most recent one I treated the topic, in which would be Wonder, that came out in 2011—and there’s definitely an evolution of thought there. But it’s a mug’s game to say, “There’s no consensus, I’m not gonna make a prediction.”

And it actually is a job, my friend, and one that turns out to be fairly lucrative—at least in my case—to make a prediction, to look at the data, and say… You know, I synthesize it, look at it this way, and here’s where I think it’s going. And if you want to obviate that job out of existence, by saying yeah but other people disagree with you, I suppose that’s your privilege in this particular economic paradigm.

Well, thank you very much. Tell us what you’re working on in closing?

It’s interesting, because when we talk a lot about AI… But I’m really… AI, and the relationship between us and AI, is a subset, in some ways, of transhumanism. In that you can look at artificial intelligence as a separate thing, but really the reality is that we’re going to find way more effective ways to merge ourselves and artificial intelligence than looking in through the five-inch glass window on your smartphone, right?

So what I’m working on is actually developing a TV series on a transhumanist theme, and one of the key things we’re looking at is really that fundamental question of how much of your biology—one of the things we’ve talked about here—you can give up and still retain your fundamental humanity. And I don’t want to get into too much specifics about that, but I think that is, you know, really comes thematically right back to what we’ve been talking about here, and what Alan Turing was getting at with the Turing test.

A hundred years from now, have I uploaded my consciousness? Have I so infused my body with nanotechnology, am I so constantly plugged into a greater electronic global brain… am I still Homo sapient sapiens? I don’t know, but I hope I’ll have that double dose of wisdom that goes with sapient sapiens by that time. And that’s what I’m working on, is really exploring the human-machine proportionality that still results in individuality and human dignity. And I’m doing it in a science fiction television project that I currently have a development contract for.

Awesome. Alright, well thank you so much.

It was a spirited discussion, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, because one of the things that will never be obviated out of existence, I hope, my friend, is spirited and polite disagreement between human beings. I think that is—if there’s something we’ve come nowhere close to emulating on an artificial platform, it’s that. And if there’s any reason that AI’s will keep us around, I’ve often said, it’s because of our unpredictability, our spontaneity, our creativity, and our good sense of humor.

Absolutely. Thank you very much.

My pleasure, take care.

Byron explores issues around artificial intelligence and conscious computers in his upcoming book The Fourth Age, to be published in April by Atria, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. Pre-order a copy here.

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babbleuk · 7 years