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thatonebirdwrites · 7 months

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Thoughts about fandoms and Writing

I suppose this will be a ramble of sorts. I wanted to talk about a sad thing I noticed but also a good thing I noticed about fandoms. This is a ramble, and I hope it all connects into a coherent whole by the end.

I'll start with the question I leave at the end. The question that my writing silently asks all readers:

"Here is a story of a human being that may be different from you, so will you join me at this campfire and hear their tale? To join them on this great journey of wonder, pain, joy, sorrow, and hope?"

One of the things that drew me to various fandoms, and my current one was a sense of connection. A sense of community, but I've also learned that despite this strength, there is an underlying undercurrent of who is allowed to exist in that community.

Part of writing fanfiction is because we want to see more of our beloved characters. To dig deeper into them, to fulfill this need for connection.

Because that's the crux of most things about us human beings, right? We are social beings that live best when we have connections with other human beings. None of us can live in a perfect isolation with no contact with anyone else ever (in fact studies show this is very, very, very bad for our health and can slowly kill us).

Yet, as a disabled person, I find myself stuck in this weird liminal space of seeking connection but sometimes finding instead reminders of how conditional my existence in the space truly is.

I notice that the stories willing to push the envelope a little, to explore what it'd be like if one of our beloved characters was disabled, often get far more harsh comments and far less support.

I've sat back and observed, and the more I interact with fandoms, the more I wonder if there is room for people like me.

I've seen some pushback in various fandoms -- even TLOK -- against people who want to explore our beloved characters in settings that allow for a more diverse intersection of identities. That tackle themes related to disability, gender identity, race, and so forth. To tackle more nuanced Leftist thought (that isn't displayed like a bad thing which TLOK sadly does at times).

This saddens me because that sort of pushback breaks the connection and community of fandoms in a way.

The whole reason I'm writing fanfiction is because I couldn't quite find the story I wanted to read. There's a lot of flaws in Legend of Korra, and I wanted to tackle the stories inherent in it from a different angle. To explore themes left unexplored. But also to show the shared moments Korra and Asami have. (They are legit my favorite couple of all time).

But I just don't feel very comfortable writing smut. I never have, so I'm already an outlier in the fanfiction writer community.

But I've realized of late that I also because an outlier with how I explore disability in my fanfiction.

Honestly Book 3 of TLOK sets the disability theme up, and although it does an excellent job with the PTSD arc, the way the temporary physical disability was handled during Korra's long healing left me quite frustrated because it utilized verbiage that's often used to demonize or deny disabled people support. No, it's not all in Korra's head (we find out later, that she really did still have poison in her, so Korra was right THE WHOLE TIME). No, it's not a mind over matter (this is the most unhelpful thing to say to a disabled person, seriously). No physical therapy can't cure all things. *sighs* I wanted more nuance there, and since it failed to deliver, I decided to write my own.

I also wanted to dig deep into Asami's story too because sadly enough TLOK doesn't give her the attention her and her trauma deserves.

So I have two separate series. One canon-compliant to explore the ramifications of that.

One an AU where Korra and Asami are romantically together by middle of Book 2, where they must navigate Book 3 and the trauma of that together. How do they do it? Can they do it? What sort of disability will they face and how will they deal with that?

I recognize what I write is not what most folks want from the fandom, and I feel like sometimes there is this unspoken undercurrent in the fandom to not really dig into the disability themes inherent in TLOK.

I think this is why commenters literally had a fight in the comments of my Shared Moments: Book 3. I had taken the disability theme in Book 3 (and 4) and made it highly visible. I had foreshadowed this quite thoroughly in all honesty.

I had made it clear from the start of the series that I promised to be realistic about trauma, about physical injuries, and about healing. Sure, I took some liberties in fight scenes to play up some interesting martial art moves that actually exist, but there's always ramifications and consequences.

I think in a way the fight that happened in my Book 3 (at the final confrontation with Zaheer's group) exemplifies the hidden current of ableism within the fandom.

Asami had barely escaped the lavabender and had a fourth-degree burn on the sole of her right foot. Those are when the burn destroys the nerves and can go as deep as the bone. They are quick to become infected if not treated right away, and in Asami's case, there was no way for it to be treated until after the airbenders are rescued. TLOK is set in a technological and medical period similar to 1940s, so the typical solution in that time period is amputation.

I'd carefully laid out details like crumbs for readers to find that heavily hints that this could be one of the possible outcomes.

Nothing about it was surprising.

And yet, two commenters were angry that one of the characters would end up permanently disabled. They utilized a harmful ableist trope, ignored the story up to that point, and demanded I alter the story because they deemed Asami's injury "unnecessary for the narration" and "too much."

Truth is, as much as I tried not to let it hurt me, it did.

Why? Because I'm disabled. I've had injuries due to circumstances where I didn't receive the healthcare I needed in time to prevent the injury and illness from worsening. I've been in Asami and Korra's shoes in a way.

Being told that a story that mirrored my own, that mirrored the lives of so many disabled people is "too much" and "unnecessary for narration" is a vivid reminder of how deep ableism has fallen into the psyche of our society.

Most folks wouldn't consider that ableist, and yet, if the same words were said about queer identities? If someone said that Korra and Asami being bisexual is "unnecessary for the narration" or "too much" there would be riots in the TLOK fandom. (In fact, I sometimes still witness some between Makorra shippers versus Korrasami shippers, where it doesn't seem to matter that Korrasami is canon to the Makorra folks, they get incensed and fall back on biphobic language. Only to be rightly called out for the harm of it.)

So why aren't we standing up for disabled people?

The Legend of Korra is a survivor story. It's a disability story. Complex-PTSD that Korra has is a disability. Acute-PTSD, which is likely what Asami has, is also a disability.

Disability is not bad. It is not evil. It's not too much.

Disability is beautiful. It should be normalized as just part of who a person is. We, disabled people, can do great things despite our disability.

And yet, those commenters couldn't see that.

All they could see was their beloved character would be permanently disabled. Their unconscious bias reared its head, and they lashed out in a way that hurt. (And also angered several other commenters who kindly called them out).

They were angry at being forced to confront the fact that their beloved character was now in the category of "disabled." It required them to relate -- to connect -- to a disabled person as a human being.

That's the moment of truth isn't it?

When someone is forced to relate to another person as a human being worthy of respect and dignity, that is when we discover the true character of a person I think.

Disabled people like myself are often treated like we are sub-human. Like we don't matter, like it'd be better if we ceased to exist. (I can give dozens of examples, but I think how the pandemic is currently being handled is a blatant look at how ableism is structured in our society and how much it harms all of us.)

Society saturates our media with messages of how disabled people are less than, sub-human, unworthy of life, unworthy of being allowd to even participate in society. Often the only way we are allowed to exist at all is if we are displayed as an "inspiration," something for which abled-bodied people to oogle and feel good about themselves for "helping" us "get over" or "cure" our disability, as if our disability is a problem to be solved rather than something that can be both painful but also beautiful. (I often try to see the beauty in my ADHD, my APD, my autoimmune illness. And yes, for LongCovid in particular, I may wish for a cure for my LongCovid, but I can also recognize the beauty within my illness - I see the world differently and that lens allows me to connect in new ways and to show more kindness and love in different ways. That too is beauty).

The harmful messages about disabled people are everywhere, and we often unconsciously absorb them.

I try to do my best to respond with kindness. To even try to educate when I can, but I also have to have a firm boundary because I'm a human being.

I don't have enough energy to tackle educating people about this AND doing what I need to survive.

And for me, writing is survival.

I think the reason it hurt to see ableism at play in the fandom was because I had been thinking maybe I might actually belong to a group for once. That maybe I would be treated as a human being, who has a talent for something.

But seeing the words "too much" and "unnecessary for narration" in the comments, brought out not only my insecurities, but a reminder of just how fucking hard it is to write diverse characters.

I've never written fanfiction before 2021.

I'm a science fiction (and sometimes fantasy) author, though at the moment it's only short stories that have been published.

Do you know how many times I've heard those harmful phrases said while I trying to get my original stories published?

Editors would tell me:

"Your character being nonbinary is unnecessary for the narration." Or "It's too much to have a nonbinary character. You should just choose a gender and we'll consider it."

"Why is this character disabled? It seems unnecessary for the narration. Just eliminate them and rewrite it."

It didn't matter that the disability was crucial to the character and her understanding of the world and how she navigated it. (Or that she was literally the protagonist.)

It didn't matter that the nonbinary person's identity was crucial to their character, their understanding of the world, and how others related to them.

It didn't matter even if it was crucial to the plot.

All that mattered was that the editors were uncomfortable with characters that didn't match the ideal human they decided was the only allowed protagonist.

In a way, they were saying that people like me didn't deserve to have our stories told. To be recognized and seen as protagonists, as human beings to which readers could connect.

Is fandom any different?

Maybe there are readers who enjoy what I write, but sometimes I see so much of the content of fandom, and this intense demand for an ideal form of human, and I don't see myself.

I don't see myself and those like me being accepted as we are. Where we are worthy of connection too.

So I create that representation; I carefully weave a story so everything is set up, foreshadowed, makes sense in the characterization and narration, and I come face to face with the blatant ableism, blatant transphobia, and sometimes even blatant biphobia.

And it's a reminder that even while I try to find comfort and solace and a safe place to recover from my own illness and from the world at large...

... in the end, it's hard to feel like there will ever be acceptance. It's hard to feel like the fandom is willing to treat people like me as a human worthy of respect and dignity.

Because that's the thing, isn't it?

When people see me in my wheelchair, they don't see a person. They see a thing. A sub-human to be pitied. I get touched in ways that would never happen if I was abled-bodied. My wheelchair gets moved in ways that would never happen if I was abled-bodied (that wheelchair is an extension of my body and touching it without my consent is touching me without consent). I get sneers sometimes. I get people staring at me like I'm some carnival show.

It's tiresome. It's hurtful. It isolates.

To have a beloved character end up in a wheelchair, or end up with a prosthetic?

People are forced to face their own ableism. They are forced to see the ugliness they display toward me and those like me. Because now their beloved character is one of my people.

And the anger that is hurled at me for doing this is honestly ridiculous. Exhausting too.

People don't like being uncomfortable, but we cannot grow if we're not uncomfortable. We cannot become better than we were unless we confront the things that break our ability to connect.

i write because I want people to connect. I want people to understand ways of being that is unlike their own, and to come to understand that we are all human beings. We all are worthy and deserving of respect and dignity. We all deserve to be seen and accepted where we are.

Those are the stories I love the most. The ones that build up and not tear down.

And perhaps that is why I will never truly fit in. Because I refuse to sit down and make myself small enough to fit in. Because I prefer to dig into the reality of our differences and how those differences are actually our similarities and our biggest strengths.

It is our diversity that is our strength. It's also how we connect, how we find our similarities, because even in our beautiful galaxy of identities, we all have similar human needs and qualities that shine through.

We are all made of stardust. We are all social beings. We all strive for some level of connection, and although the layers of that may differ for each of us, that human need to connect cannot be truly erased or ignored.

I'll end where I began, with the great question my writings always silently ask readers:

"Here is a story of a human being that may be different from you, so will you join me at this campfire and hear their tale? To join them on this great journey of wonder, pain, joy, sorrow, and hope?"

And honestly, that's why I write.

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homocrafting · 11 months

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turns out whatever instinct in me makes me want to make tma aus is unstoppable and all consuming. so here's qsmp tma au focused on the brazillians:

cellbit- he HAS to be the archivist ok this man is so eye aligned it's not even funny. HOWEVER because qcellbit and fcell are the same person, Events happened to him before he became the Archivist, ala from the archives grian. local paranormal enthusiast finds dead half eaten bodies, gets arrested for it (he SWEARS he didn't eat those people), goes to prison for 10 years, goes nuts (becomes F!Cell), kills himself in the island, wakes up in his room and Felps tells him "bro you disappeared for 10 days are you ok" and he's just like. What.

Worth mentioning that he fucking speedruns the archives. also known as the qsmp. Cucurucho, who is kind of like elias but a bit less (I inagine the Host would be elias, wjoever they are), thinks "wooo new archivist I wonder how long it'll take them to find out abt the horrors" and then cellbit shows up 3 days later running on 2 hours of sleep and 20 mugs of coffee with a consipracy board connecting a bunch of statements and theorizing about entities

ALSO the web is around him like all the time. if you pay attention there's at least 2 spiders near him at all times, usually hidden because he squishes them when he sees them. he's tangled in the web of lies that is the plot I'm making for this au and his ass is NOT beating it

Felps- Stranger type of guy who doesn't even know and takes like. a year to realise something's up with him. don't worry abt it ok I don't know why he's stranger-y to me either. it's the vibes just trust me

Mike- ok so. I am Very unsure for pac and mike, PLUS I've not seen herobrine a lenda, which means I don't know all their backstory, BUT I'm thinking Lonely for Mike, so far? he kind of distances himself from everyone after richas dies with him, so far is the only person I've not seen much gay happenings happen to, tends to disappear to fuckall nowhere apparently, as one does. also the fact that, back in prison, he seemed to have the most difficulty connecting with others.

also, the Desolation hates him personally. he doesn't know why. his house has burnt down thrice. he gets burnt by the littlest things for no reason. he's banned from the kitchen. an avatar of the desolation tried to kill him once. he watched his own son die in front of him. this is based on nothing from qsmp or anything I've seen Mike do I just think it's funny

Pac- I can only think of Vast and Spiral for him tee bee eich. Leaning heavily towards the Vast because, you know. gestures to the giant hide and seek maps, and also O RAIO, even though I have 0 context for that. he just... he explores the world and made giant hole (yeah yeah holes are the buried but consider: it's big.). it's his "I can show you the world" vibes. again dude just trust me

note abt tazercraft: both of them are very, very touched by the Spiral. reason? Chume Labs

Forever- I'm thinking either the Buried (mostly the digging aspect- he's destroyed a whole mountain and dug up and entire desert), or the Hunt (his intense hunt for Phil's love, the insane grinding that could be seen as hunting for resources, the werewolf hc my beloved). Leaning more towards the Hunt bc dogboyyyyy

The plot I have in mind is very different from the tma plot, but I'm not sure of everything yet, so for now you get this little bpnus :)

[CLICK]

[Cellbit]

We've been back from the Adoption Center for about a day now. Not a timely update, but things happened, and, well.

We found... we found a weird... creature. It- he? Acts human, although he can't talk. He communicates with us through a little notebook, and overall acts incredibly childish. He sure looks like a child. One with- with some material akin to... to egg shells as skin. He has hair, despite apparently being all... eggy. It's black and curly, covers his face. He doesn't like it when we try to move it away from there, but we're working on a safe way to see what's under there.

He seems not to know where he came from, but I know he's lying. It's- there's no way he doesn't, not with what he said, I don't care if Pac and Mike or, hell, Felps believes him, He called us fucking- he called us dads! That's the first fucking thing he said! It has to be some kind of trap, some kind of spy, I don't know yet but when I find out I'm going to fucking-

Shit. That wasn't too professional. Alright, where were we.

We brought him to the Institute. Forever and I weren't thrilled about the idea, but it was 3 against 2. I can't believe Felps would- I get Pac and Mike, there's something wrong with them I'm sure of it, but Felps? I underestimated his braincells. What am I talking about, he doesn't have any.

(Soft chuckle)

We, we named him Richarlyson, he seemed to like it. We asked his name first, but all he did was draw a- (Snort) a stick figure shrugging.

The only clothes he has are a singular oversized Brazil shirt. The moços and Felps want to go buy him clothes.

I don't know how they'll justify the kid having, I don't know, pure white hard skin, but they said not to worry about it, so I guess I won't! I won't. I fucking won't.

... I'm gonna follow them tomorrow. Just to be safe.

That's all for today, I'm gonna go- I'm going to check some statements, see if there's anything even remotely related to this.

This is Cellbit, Head Archivist of the QSMP, which I still don't known what stands for by the way, signing off.

[CLICK]

#cellbit #forever player #forever #richarlyson #felps #tazercraft #pactw #mikethelink #brazil world domination #qsmp #hmmm I need a tag for this au #the quesadilla archives #<- idk if that's gonna be permanent but that's it for now #favela five

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thegreenthepeacetheorange · 6 months

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Everlark (The Hunger Games, Ch. 2)

I've decided to track the development of Katniss and Peeta's love story as I reread the Hunger Games trilogy. There's already so much great discussion on tumblr so I'm gonna throw my two cents in on one of the greatest love stories ever written. It's probably going to be nonsensical and not laid out properly as I'm tracking Katniss's own thoughts (that are definitely not straightforward!) - but I just want to capture my thoughts.

It's amazing how their story doesn't even begin in Chapter 2, but years before, when they were just 11.

So on the day of the reaping, after she herself has volunteered for Prim, Katniss says she doesn't even have time to wish for Gale's safety before she hears Peeta Mellark being called and she finds herself stressed. She thinks "oh no, not him" straight away. And of course we find out why: he's the boy with the bread. The boy who saved her at her worst time.

We all know the story so I'm not going to recount it here and I know many people have talked about just how kind and revolutionary Peeta's act of burning the bread and throwing it to Katniss was. What I'm focused on is the clear building of Everlark as the key romance and central relationship that drives the whole trilogy.

Before Katniss even sees Peeta, when she's stopped outside the bakery, she's mesmerised by the heat and the "luscious scent" coming from the bakery. Big focus on the heat because throughout the trilogy we're about to see how heat/warmth is about to play a part in who Peeta is and what it means to Katniss. The bread is burning as she clutches it to her and runs home, it's still warm when she reaches home. Katniss can't explain his actions, she's confused by why he would've done this. She's preoccupied with this lovely boy from then on, he bore visible signs of his mother's beatings as the result of his kindness.

Katniss didn't know Peeta's name then but by the time the reaping comes around, we know she knows his full name and that he has two brothers older than him. She knows who he hangs out with. Later on in the book, we'll find out that she's been keeping more tabs on him and knows more about him but I believe his act of kindness completely captured Katniss's attention. She developed a curious affection for this boy who suffered a beating just to help her. Through her narration we see that there's multiple times where she's looking out for him and where she catches him looking at her and it honestly makes me want to weep. "More than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away" (THG, 39). Key thing to note here is that Katniss has also been looking "more than once." She seeks him out, find out information about him like his name and who his brothers are. Neither of them has the courage to speak to the other but there seems to be a tether between them forged by the bread.

Of course, as a result of looking away from Peeta (after she's been caught staring at him). her eyes fall on the dandelion. The dandelion that gives her hope, that reminds her of her skills in hunting and foraging for food that her father taught her (we'll see Katniss connect Peeta to her dad many times throughout the trilogy too). "To this day, I can never shake the connection between this boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me I was not doomed" (THG, 39). I think Collins set up who the central love story of Katniss was going to be right from this second chapter, and it's very powerful because it's put into the framework of the other key themes in the book: survival, kindness, humanity. From his single act, Peeta becomes to mean so much more to Katniss and to us as readers of the books and critics of the Hunger Games.

Back to the reaping and when Katniss and Peeta shake hands up on stage, Katniss remarks that Peeta's hands are "as solid and warm as those loaves of bread" (THG, 39). Again, notice the solidity and warmth she connects to Peeta.

It's weird to me that people consider that Katniss didn't love Peeta, only stayed with him due to shared trauma, didn't really care for him etc. because it's clear from chapter two that Collins is masterfully setting up an epic love story. From chapter two she's laid the groundwork for their relationship and these same themes and tokens in this chapter are going to be found again and again through the trilogy.

A side note: Katniss's mother after the death of her husband goes into a state of darkness and sadness that Katniss can't understand, as she outlines in chapter 1. However, we'll see how she similarly falls into that dark sadness in Mockingjay when Peeta is captured and tortured by the Capitol.

A petty note: for all the people who deny the importance of Everlark as the main love story still (for some reason) or hang on to the whole 'Gale was there first and therefore is more important' line of thinking, Can I just say: Katniss and Peeta's connection predates Katniss and Gale's. The only reason Katniss even ends up knowing Gale is because of Peeta. Peeta and the dandelion reminded Katniss she can hunt and that's how she ends up in the woods meeting Gale. Gale wouldn't even be in Katniss's life if it wasn't for Peeta. So y'know, just another lovely thing Peeta gave Katniss.

#the hunger games #everlark #katniss x peeta #katniss and peeta #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #peeta x katniss #tgtpto everlark read

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imthepunchlord · 7 months

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So the Wu Xing is:

Wood - Butterfly

Fire - Ladybug

Earth - Bee

Metal - Cat

Water - Peacock

That's what I'm thinking. I think that'll work best in how they work and who can match with what. And it can also work off kwami personalities. Ish. Pollen and Duusu are the only real issues, but otherwise everything works well.

Working off the canon power (and not any more as we're not there yet poll wise), Butterfly echoes Wood as it's rooted but expansive, a social butterfly that branches out and extends to others. Wood as an element seeks to nurture and support, and it's an element that has promise for leadership, all of which can apply to the Butterfly's power of granting others a means of empowerment and being a distant leader offering direction. Wood negatively also has issues with anger, which canon wise is the biggest source of emotions that creates supervillains.

And as Wood is yang (extroverted, energetic, direct, ect.), Nooroo can act as a yin counter to the typical Wood personality. Someone who is calm and reasonable in the face of the more emotionally volatile Wood personality, and is more likely to be heard and worked with as Wood thrives off connections and seeks their own self growth. And the bit we see with Nooroo is that he is eager to engage and eager to help humans grow (until he found out Gabriel wants to be a villain).

Ladybug with Fire, first and foremost actually works off color very well, as Fire's color is red. Fire is an element strong associated with love, often romantic, but can also extend to self-love and love for others, and one of Ladybug's biggest symbols is love. Working off other cultures too, Fire is tied to cleansing, burn away the impurities, and Ladybug is THE cleanser. Fire is also known to be the most creative of the 5 elements, which can work off Ladybug being Creation, and much like Wood, Fire is an element that has promise for leadership, often aims for the position, and is very charismatic, literally wants to light up people's lives. And Ladybug users, especially backed by Tikki, seem to be the preferred leaders and encouraged to solve everyone's problems.

And as Fire is a yang element, Tikki acts as the yin counter. She's very direct, involved, and forward, but she's also a lot more focused and knows what to prioritize (or what she prefers to prioritize), as Fire can be distracted and chaotic, she can help give direction to the fiery personality. Fire, while a sociable element and is charismatic and likes to be the center of attention, it can be too intense, burn too hot, and just as quickly as it draws people in, can send them away. This can work off Tikki getting involved in her human's social life, desiring to give advise on how to work off people, and desiring to improve leadership skills. And as Fire does have a risk of being very selfish and overbearing and hotheaded, it makes sense for Tikki to take this stance to encourage her humans to be benevolent, helpful, patient, and considerate. Fire also can have really bad burn outs and that can work off Tikki's habit to be encouraging and affectionate, it's her means to try and reignite that flame.

Bee matching with Earth largely comes down to color, as Earth's color is yellow, and it works more off how bees function and their symbolism. Earth is the neutral between yin and yang, it's balanced and even, making it an element of diplomacy, compromise, and harmony. Earth thrives for functionality, for things to work as expected. Earth is helpful, wants everyone happy, seeks to provide support and a foundation. While adaptable, the element does drag it's feet and doesn't like to be rush, can be stubborn, and expect integrity and honesty. And I see this echo bees in how they work, this element embraces teamwork and community and order and bees thrive off all playing their part, working as a team, and everyone shouldering their share of the weight. Bees are also big symbols of communication which works off Earth's diplomacy. And while bees are known to sting, it's a last resort for them, they'd rather not if they can, which can also work off Earth as not being a very aggressive element. Bees like Earth also have a system of functionality figured out but are open to adapt and change as needed and make compromises. Like, bees are willingly working with people, they're actually the only animal that will unionize if they're with a bad bee keeper.

Pollen (and her power) does throw a wrench in things as they went for an eager servant personality for her and an aggressive power, which was more done to work off Chloe than actually work off what the bee kwami should've been and what the power should've been. By how I have things going, Pollen ideally should be neutral and flexible, and aim to help a human find their role and help them thrive in it, help them learn to be more of a team player, help them become a leader, help them learn to assist others, or find some means of order if they're life is chaotic. For an actual personality, we'll go with sassy but social-able, open minded, sweet as honey but don't push her buttons (which, really, if Pollen truly reflected actual worker bees, things with Chloe would've gone differently as worker bees terminate bad queen bees).

Cat can work off Metal as this is an element that's tied to their definition of structure and order. Metal is an element of perfection, they have an idea of how things should be and how things should go, and get irritated when things don't go as expected. It works off cats having an idea of how things should go for them and have fits when things don't. This element is also known to be emotionally distant, standoffish, and cold, which can work off cats being aloof and independent, and works off the concept of Destruction which is a power that most people are leery of. Metal is also known to be analytical and brilliant, which would be a requirement to use Cataclysm, and does have potential to be leaders and see to it that things get done (though they may struggle to connect with their team). Metal's biggest negativity is grief, which can tie back to Destruction and the finality of it.

Plagg can nicely act as the yang to the yin element. He's easy going, flexible, and lazy as a counter to Metal personalities who like things to go as planned, see things are finished efficiently, and enjoy being busy and delving into their interests. Intentionally or otherwise, Plagg does keep his holders on their toes and throws wrenches in their daily lives, helping them break up that established order and learn to live with some chaos in their life, learn to adapt and work with it. Plagg also reflects the Metal personality in that, when Metal comes to love another, they love deeply, which works off Plagg coming to care deeply for his holder, even to an unreasonable point.

Lastly, Peafowl and Water. Wu Xing as a whole represents a cycle of life, with Water representing death/soul/the end, and that can work off peacocks being tied to spirituality, rejuvenation, and being regarded as the earthly phoenix, where the end will pave the way to new beginnings and new life. Water is also an element of duality, tied to truth and clarity, but also secrecy, inner depths, and being withdrawn. Water is also a knowledge seeker, is observant, and seeks to expand. This nicely works off peacocks being symbols of vision and truth, spiritual enlightenment, and guidance. Water is also noted to be a hidden danger (play off murkey water), and that can play off peacocks being very bold and daring, able to consume snakes and use their venom as a means to bring out the vibrancy of their feathers.

Duusu I have yet to really see her(?) personality cause I haven't watched s5 at all, I don't know how much she even appears in s4 post her Miraculous getting fixed and her mental state healed, but ideally Duusu should act as the yang counter to the yin element, probably a very iconic duo of the extrovert and introvert. Duusu should be flashy, flamboyant, talkative to counter the more quiet and withdraw Water personality, but she should also be incredibly observant and able to match the wavelength of the humans she's dealing with, which can play off Water being a fluid and flexible element that's always able to adapt to it's environment.

So, not an entire match working off canon strictly, but I think there's a good bases for these elemental match ups and why kwamis can be the way they are. So I think that's the ideal: Butterfly is Wood, Ladybug is Fire, Bee is Earth, Cat is Metal, and Peafowl is Water.

#ask Punchie #wu xing #wu xing miraculous #butterfly miraculous #moth miraculous #ladybug miraculous #bee miraculous #cat miraculous #peacock miraculous #peafowl miraculous

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infizero-draws · 11 days

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oh hey, id love to here your labduo hcs

YAYYYY ok. i'll start off with the demon soulmate ones (not specific to them) since someone else asked to hear about that as well. this is very long sorry

SO. all demons are born with a special kind of semi-immortality (able to be killed but unable die from age) where their lives are connected to a mortal soulmate(s). soulmate in this context has no inherent romantic or sexual connotations; soulmates can be strictly platonic, romantic, sexual, or anything in between. they dont even necessarily have to spend their lives with each other, it's purely the bond and the connections between their lives.

soulmate bonds exist from the moment all parties are alive, but the demon doesn't get the instinct to seek them out until the age of 18. the demon will follow this instinct and once they meet their soulmate(s), their lives will be connected from there on.

if the demon decides not to seek them out for whatever reason, they'll still naturally be drawn to them. however, if by bad luck or purposeful avoidance they dont meet their soulmate(s) by age 50, then they'll just Die. for this reason most dont avoid their soulmates but there are some who choose this lonesome dangerous lifestyle; choosing a set-in-stone 50 year lifespan over one tied to a mortal's lifespan, which could end up being cut short.

if the demon has already met their soulmate(s) before the age of 18, then nothing really changes. they still don't KNOW they're soulmates until they turn 18, and then once they do the connected lives come into effect.

these mortal soulmates have historically been humans, which is what led to the horned human variant coming into existence a long LONGGG time ago. these are different from demon-human hybrids, as over the years they've become their own subspecies. the horned human variant is still considered fully human, just with horns and a tail. this is what c!tommy is, while c!eryn is an actual demon-human hybrid. here's this old chart i made to illustrate the differences:

demon-human hybrids don't have quite as good of a sense for locating their soulmate(s) as full demons; they'll still naturally be drawn to them but won't really be aware of it until the bond has been forged, unlike a full demon.

^ this is all obviously expanded upon from bad and skeppy's canonical soulmate bond btw.

ANYWAYS so that brings us to labduo. (i forgot they were called that btw. awesome) basically they're soulmates, but as per the way this all works, eryn doesnt realize this until they turn 18. and that's when he's like ummmm tommy. i think we're soulmates lol. and tommy is like wot. rlly? ok. and that basically is it LOL. tommy lives with tubbo and ranboo in the future to me, i dont think eryn and tommy would be attached at the hip soulmates. eryn would probably go off on his own adventures and come back every so often to catch up, rest at the benchtrio house, etc. rolewise they're like the distant uncle who randomly shows up from time to time LOL.

when it comes to other hcs for them ummm i dont actually have a lot. i think they figured out they were trans around the same time, like pre-puberty, and that was something that rlly brought them together. eryn tried to cut tommy's hair and it was a disaster. for anything more read this comic i made a while back

for me tommy was just this scrappy kid who showed up at the village stealing bread and shit, until he befriended eryn and was taken in by eryn's mom. ive never given tommy's actual origins much thought, as i dont think it rlly matters to me. the thing thats important is that he was an orphan from a young age. as much as i think the lab stuff can be cool i think i do just imagine him to have had normal parents and. Something happened where he did not have them anymore. young enough where he didnt have memories of them or anything. idk

OH and rq to explain this doodle in the context of all this. its basically just eryn saying that it's a good thing all of tommy's trauma and deaths happened BEFORE their soulmate bond existed or else it would've happened to eryn too lol

thats kind of it...... thank you for your interest...

#asks #dsmp #c!tommy #c!eryn #<- in case anyone is interested lol.................

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witchofthesouls · 4 months

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do you realize how awesome that would be between a cybertronian and an atlanian having a few similarities ?

also I had a lot of thoughts that had me sort of stuck.

Like the beginning part of how the atlanians were trying so very hard to out run an explosion. Perhaps a little tie to Quintess? something must of had their attention that they thus gave knowledge to them but later something that caused their downfall, just like Quintess and his creations. perhaps that was price?

would the Cybertronians know at some point, be it accident or intentionally, they seek them out? Even if they had no tie to the primes, it would still be one within of Primal. though the same could be said in reverse. either way, who knows what they may have inhereted by the line. Scratch that, the Guardian would more than likely prevent them from going further but say they do get past the Guardian and they do come across an Atlanian and thus their broken home beneath the surface.

I had forgetton that the stone(?) defense does react to danger and does choose someone of royalty. I did forget about the part where Kida was chosen and thus looked... crystalized? like energon. but also could not be touched cuz you'd wind up being like them too.

I unfortunately do not remember the all parts, only bits and pieces of the movie so feel free to ignore this.

There had been some talk that other ancient civilizations had their own massive technological marvel wonders in that movie verse, so perhaps there's something in the legends and myths…

I can't help but to think of it in a universe where Earth-is-Unicron or Unicron-yielded-Gaea because 1) we all need to utilize that way more, 2) makes sense with all the chaotic fuckery on the planet, and 3) would make a lot of sense on how it managed to store/grow Energon without tipping off a nearest spacefaring civilization, seems to be a reverse Cybertron in its makeup (dirt, metal, and water), yet able to support Primus’ own creations if utilized correctly, and build on the connection between Earth and Cybertron.

We're cousins. We have to fuck around with it. Especially with the same idea that Cybertronians and humans are cousins to the Quintessons since those multi-faced, space squids are Quintus’ descendants.

So that would make so much sense why Atlantis’ mobile weaponry was modeled after sea creatures. The Atlantians are taking advantage of the squids’ natural predators for extra psychological damage.

Imagine if the Leviathan ship came after the Quintesson invasion after a lot of tinkering between mechanical and organic components? The Atlantic answer to Quintessons’ space whale transport.

King Kashekim's dying words gave us so many details of the Heart itself and how it's able to make choices. Look, if that doesn't feel like a divine instrument or a Primal Artifact, then I don't know what does!

As a timeline, we could put the Downfall after repelling the Quintessons. King Kashekim would have had access to greater tech compared to other ally civilizations at that point, who's to say he wasn't looking to expand Atlantis’ dominion, especially after a massive undertaking and decisive win?

As for being searched by Cybertronians, it would depend on the universe. It would totally revamp the G1 episode with Atlantis and TFP would have really fantastic world-building on sentient Artifacts, Optimus not being the last of the Primes, and delve into the impact of cultural/religious instruments and “who” could claim them. Could the Autobots take the Heart and doom the inhabitants to ensure Decepticons don't raid it? What happens if the Heart refuses to cooperate? It may be a Primal Artifact/Titan, but who holds its loyalty? The descendants of its creator, especially with an unbroken lineage, or a pure Cybertronian Prime?

Could they even get past the Leviathan in the first place? This isn't a submarine where a standard mech could punch through its hull. A Leviathan is a proper war machine on a galactic standard and capable of transporting the Cybertronians themselves. Would it obey Optimus or not?

There are so many directions this could go. It's fascinating!

#ask #transformers #atlantis the lost empire #crossover #fic ideas #my thoughts #maccadam #ughhh the Thoughts I have with this #especially with the crystal #CRYSTAL MY GUYS ENERGON CRYSTAL SPARK CRYSTAL IT'S RIGHT THERE

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simplegenius042 · 4 months

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Music Monday + "Your OC as cannibalism"

Tagged by @inafieldofdaisies

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @shallow-gravy @direwombat @strangefable @strafethesesinners @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @bitchofedensgate @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @vasiktomis @voidika @onehornedbeast @nightbloodbix @afarcryfrommymain @corvosattano @deputyash @deputy-morgan-malone @cassietrn @chazz-anova @softtidesworld @derelictheretic @ladyoriza @minilev @wrathfulrook @neverthesameneveranother @henbased @thewanderer-000 @fourlittleseedlings @vampireninjabunnies-blog @skoll-sun-eater and @dephellseed

Music for a story in The UnTitledverse, while the quizzes will be for three characters from the other series. You can find the quiz here. Song and results below the cut.

This song, although generally a FNAF song, somehow managed to fit Calvin's story in The Dark Awakening, a planned sequel of A Blast In The Past, where he discovers the truth behind his state of purgatory, who's behind it, and how to escape it.

youtube

"In a loop inside the screen Your own prison in a dream Try to run and try to scream Even death can't save you, we

Replay your nightmare Replay, play, play your nightmare Replay your nightmare Replay, play, play your nightmare

Get in a cage While we rattle it While we rattle it Our eternal revenge We know what you did We know what you did It's Me, It's me, it's me We're all here just for you Get in a cage While we rattle it While we rattle it FOREVER

Torture, torture, don't you know How your seeds of evil grow?

Replay your nightmare 'Cause tables turn Replay your nightmare And it's your time to hurt."

On to the quiz results! For antagonists no less!

Paul Yellowjack (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, Old Dusk the New Dawn Arc)

Paul just got called out. While his... diet in Old Dusk is more literal, this result does reveal a bit about himself. Paul's (familial) love for Silva is strong and without a doubt true, however, its this co-dependence which leads his love to become obsessive, as if he is the only one that understands her. While he knows her more than most, he hasn't known how much she's changed from the young woman he watched grow up on the Archipelagos. He longs for their connection, even when he himself admits that he does not deserve it, its the only thing that keeps him relatively sane. The "believed in magic" part comes to cruelly bite him in the ass when he is (reincarnated? resurrected? restored with horrifying abilities? IDK) and now as a swarm of wasps must seek out bodies/corpses in order to feed/puppeteer around and interact with people.

Frederick Rosemary (Life, Despair & Monsters)

I'd feel bad for him if I didn't know just how disgusting of a character he is. Frederick is all for going for the "fine" and forbidden/taboo things in life. His emptiness leads him to going the deep end of making people (especially children's) lives as miserable as possible. This man is wanted by the feds and would be on a watch list if it was common knowledge he was alive and some kind of cyborg. The fact Malvolio of all people sees him as a friend and close companion should tip off how screwed up this man is.

Aggravor the Accursed (A Radioactive Calamity of Love, Bombs & Gore, a Fallout fanfic series)

Aggravor is a nearly 3,000 year old human-turned-Lich that worked alongside a powerful inhuman warlock (from another dimension) named Arcane Urias, becoming one of the first official disciples of the Occult, a cult Urias founded to worship the Mad God of Carnage, Discord. Aggravor is being tutored under Urias' wing to learn more about older magic, beyond the basics and newest spells. Aggravor wants to become something more than what he originally was. He wants to be remembered as the most powerful spellcaster and curse-user who either succeeded or was second best to the likes of Urias and the Court King. Aggravor even manages to defeat or even fatally take out powerful casters like the Pumpkin King (an old-world supernatural being from medieval times) and Ore Brantley (one of Urias rebellious children). He was however outclassed and lost an eye in a fight with Ress Bishop (Urias remaining rebellious child). A thousand years later, he does achieve his life-long goal, for however short it is.

#music monday #oc quiz #the untitledverse #wip: the dark awakening #oc: calvin dearing #far cry the silver chronicles #far cry new dawn #wip: old dusk #oc: paul yellowjack #life despair & monsters #oc: frederick rosemary #a radioactive calamity of love bombs & gore #fallout #oc: aggravor the accursed

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bionicle-ramblings · 2 months

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MORE BIONICLE SCP AU!!!

This time we're focusing on the agents and the Metru SCPs, plus Takua

Huge thanks once again to @chancetimespace for the ideas in this AU, many of which being mentioned in this post. I will be referring to them as Chance going forward

Right off the bat, the Mata are in charge of their respective Metru, which means Gali is usually looking after Nokama, Onua is with Whenua, et cetera

An idea from Chance, Nuju and Kopaka often spend hours in silence, though Kopaka doesn't push for Nuju to say anything if he doesn't want to. He will also just let Nuju vent his frustrations about living in the foundation, even saying what he's doing isn't even living. Just sitting around and waiting for the next time he gets experimented on. The two are close personally, but Nuju has yet to fully embrace and explain why to Kopaka

Gali lets Nokama leave her room and will challenge her to swim races in a lake near the facility, something Nokama often prefers to the large tub she has in her cell. Gali is a former linguistic, so she can keep up pretty well with Nokama. She does talk to the other SCPs, including Vakama, who she has helped keep emotionally stable

Lewa is in charge of looking after Matau. He's mainly just keeping an eye on Matau and making sure Matau stays where he's supposed to. As Matau is a non-human anomaly, Lewa keeps him entertained by challenging him to hide and seek and monitored walks through nature preserves. He's also tasked with seeing how Matau's shapeshiting works and what his limits are, if he has any

Tahu is in charge of keeping an eye on Vakama and bends the rules of protocol by calling Vakama by his name and occasionally slipping him things like gum or something. He also reminds Vakama that he can make requests after sessions(especially after particularly challenging ones), and is more just trying to give Vakama some autonomy without getting either of them in trouble

Pohatu and Onewa have a similar "relationship" to Kopaka and Nuju, but only in that Pohatu lets Onewa vent as he excerises; only having two pieces of scenery(his room and the rec area he's allowed to go to) does get to someone sometimes

Takua/Takanuva is "shared" between the Mata because he's new, and he's close with Jaller who is an "intern."

Idea from Chance, Hahli is another SCP, being an aquatic SCP that Jaller monitors to make sure she's alive and doing well. The two end up getting close over time

Roodaka is another SCP, though she is one that is allowed free-roam and gets privileges thanks to her "connection" to a scientist working in the facility. The scientist himself is Sidorak, who's often testing the Metru, though he is particularly unterested in Vakama, due to his resilience and how he can see the future, to some degree(Idea from Chance, I believe)

The Metru are allowed to spend time together, but they're monitored by Lhikan and Naho. The Metru do somewhat get along, but Matau is fully of energy at finally meeting people who don't wear white coats, Whenua comes off as being too comfortable in the facility, Nokama's just trying to keep the piece, and Onewa wants out, but has his "muzzle" on, so no dice. They're genuinely curious when it comes to an SCP the Mata keep bringing up and soon make requests to meet him. Matau makes the decision to try seeing him when he hears the number the SCP is and follows as a fly, catching a good-ish look at him before he's caught. When the others ask for details, he admits to only seeing the SCP either faint or hide

When the Metru do all meet, it's awkward. The five were expecting to see someone or something like an eldritch horror, but instead it's just a kid. Introductions are shaky, especially as they learn why/how Vakama ended up in the facility

An idea from Chance: Takua/Takanuva has gotten in trouble by playing dead and scaring scientists, but isn't afraid to do it again

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acorpsecalledcorva · 2 months

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While I do definitely wholly agree that no perspective or technique is universally useful and helpful for everyone, I definitely think there is value in being open to the perspectives and techniques that we've dismissed in a limited and specific way when we struggle.

For instance, I use parts language and view the system, including myself as a part as all being part of a collective singular me. It's why I tend not to use we/us a lot. I, and the other mes take ownership of all actions taken by petty much everyone in the system because this creates a sense of cohesion and continuality that allow us to function. It reduces daily amnesia because we're not constantly trying to distance ourselves from each other and generally reduces friction around decisions trusting that they're made with the system in mind rather than personally for each part. HOWEVER, I've always hated myself. I have incredibly negative opinions about who I am and punish myself a lot for just being me or not being a better version of me. Any mistakes I make are treated with severe prejudice and I don't accept nice things because I feel like I don't deserve them.

I would never treat anyone else like that though, I wouldn't think these things about a friend. And so for these issues it IS useful to view my parts as completely separate people, to think of them as friends or colleagues or family, because I can show them the compassion I cannot show myself. If an alter fucks up or does something harmful I can remember that they come from a history of pain and isolation, I can understand their actions and forgive them, think about what they might need from me to heal and help them move on because I truly believe that everyone is deserving of rehabilitation.

Sometimes though, I have to reverse engineer this situation. Often an issue with persecutors is that they feel rejected, their actions and behaviours were once a helpful coping mechanism but when our lives changed and we moved on it became less and less appropriate to do those things. They get stuck doing the only thing they know how to do and become increasingly frustrated that it's no longer working or being appreciated by the system. They're hostile to everyone else because they've been treated with hostility and aren't open to reconciliation because by that time it's like "oh what? Now you want to talk? Fuck you". To write them off is to confirm what they think about themselves. That they're bad and evil and so what's the point in getting better because they don't deserve compassion or acceptance from the system. Sound familiar?

So what do I do? Well, from my distanced perspective I then have to approach it with curiosity. Why might I behave this way? What scenario might lead me to do these things? What environment might convince me that this is a necessary thing to do? Can I find empathy with this position or similarities? Could that be a point of connection through which to make a connection? To show that I truly understand what they're going through and genuinely want to help?

Or even, am I subconsciously a willing participant in this dynamic? I hate myself, right? Do I think I deserve these things to do be done to me? At one point in time is this behaviour what I thought showing love was? Is this what it meant to be cared for to me back then? Does this situation feel safer to me in a way because pain and suffering is the devil I know?

In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott believes that we create painful scenarios for ourselves because our brains desire a more complete human experience, the good with the bad, and the more we conciously reject and resent the bad the more we desire it and create badness for ourselves. It is only by accepting this desire and gratifying ourselves by enjoying it and being grateful for the terrible things that happen that we can move on and seek out the good. Which is...definitely one of the takes of all time. I definitely take issues with the implications of victim blaming that are prevalent throughout her book, but there is insight to be drawn for sure. And in fact, the number one recommended approach to a persecutor is gratitude. To thank them for doing what they do, to show them that they're appreciated for their role and what they're trying to do, because from that position it may very well be more possible to provide constructive criticism. You have to mean it though, because by living in your head they can usually tell your true feelings.

And I completely understand why that might feel impossible to do when you feel like what they do is unforgivable, but there's a very important lesson that everyone needs to learn if they want to grow. And that's that sometimes it is up to us to take responsibility for a situation, even when we really shouldn't have to, even when it so completely isn't our fault or fair in the slightest. If what a persecutor needs to feel to change their behaviour is gratitude and acceptance, to feel that they really are a vital part of the system just like everyone else, and by providing this for them we can make things better for ourselves and the rest of the system, to create a net positive effect on all regards, then... shouldn't we? Not because of some moral duty to do the right thing or be the better person, but simply because things would be better?

Like, if there's a $1000 dollars on a table that's free for you to take, if you don't take it then no one will get it, it's only there for you to take or not with no judgement or consequences either way even if you feel like there will be, would you really not take it? And if not, then why? Do you think it's a trick? Do you think that you don't deserve it? You see how these all loop around and connect to each other?

This post is long and confusing because these situations are complicated and don't have any simple answers. All I'm trying to highlight and urge everyone to do is to never stop being curious. Always ask yourself questions, always approach something from a different angle. Especially when you come across obstacles that feel impossible. If anything that I've said feels completely wrong to you, rather than dismissing it as not being applicable to you ask yourself why you feel like it doesn't? If your persecutor is actually irredeemable and evil but mine are not, what makes you different than me? Is it easier for you to think that because then you don't have to put in the work? Does it make you feel special to have a kind of persecutor someone else doesn't? If what I'm saying right now offends you, is there a possibility, however small you think it may be, that deep down it might be true?

No, I don't think you can say for certain that every persecutor is a misguided protector, but what if the one you've decided definitely isn't actually is? What if you're wrong about them? What if you can fix it and make things better? Shouldn't you try? Why not?

#syscourse #system community #sysblr #actually did #did system #actually traumatised #persecutor

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wraith-caller · 3 months

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Elden Ring and the 5 Stages of Grief

The story around Those Who Live in Death is often characterized as being about prejudice. They didn't choose to be what they are, the game paints the Hunters of the Dead as blindly seeking an enemy to contend with, Rogier says they are in need of saving, and Fia seeks to "stay their persecution". Alongside the omens, the misbegottens, and the albinaurics, TWLID are just another rung on the Golden Order's "not fit for life" ladder of being. But there is another lens we could view this story through, and I don't see it brought up very often. I'd like to suggest that this is a story about death and the very human reactions to it, manifest in the behavior and actions of the characters integral to the Duskborn questline.

🚨🚨SPOILERS AHEAD🚨🚨

Darian - Denial

"Those Who Live in Death fall outside the principles of the Golden Order. Their mere existence sullies the guidance of gold. Tainting its truth. And so it is the vermin must be exterminated... Down to the very last."

Darian is presented to us as someone staunch and unflinching in his beliefs, to the exclusion of all other perspectives. The Order has told him that the dead are vermin, and that's all he needs to know. But it's not just their word he's taken. He's witnessed the bloodshed and pain that the living dead inflict on others, and he laments it. We meet him beside a dead man, killed by TWLID, and he tries to keep us from running headlong into the same fate by warning us away from the Mariner. Darian has only seen the cruelty and the violence of death, has been mired in it as a hunter, and relentlessly pursues an end to it. He is denial, resistant not just to death but to change.

Devin - Anger

"Soon you will know, filthy witch! The wrath of D!"

This one's probably simplest to argue. Devin's singular scene in game is all about gaining vengeance for Darian, and he makes repeated use of the word "wrath". Death has forced its way into his life, first in the face of Godwyn that drives him mad, and again when his brother, the other half of his soul, is murdered. When we meet Darian, his sword is planted in the earth and he is praying for the dead. When we last see Devin, his sword is raised high and covered in blood as he curses Fia's mutilated corpse in anger.

Godwyn - Bargaining

"O brother, lord brother, please die a true death."

Like Miquella, Godwyn is more of a presence that hangs over the events of the game rather than much of an active element within it. It's hard to dredge up much about his character to make this link. But there are some pieces connected to him, such as the quote here from the Golden Epitaph, a weapon made in his honor, which come from a place of bargaining. There is Miquella's desire to bring him a true death, the mourning of the Crone in the Deeproots("he should have died a true death!"), and the desperation of Fortissax to forestall Godwyn's death. Godwyn himself may almost seem to be begging us for relief, his deathroots erupting from underground as cries for help, spreading his face on the backs of crabs and the castle of his descendants so that someone may see him and take notice of his agony, and possibly deliver him from it. While the bargaining stage is generally geared in the opposite direction, begging for life, Godwyn and those few who know of his fate, may know it is too late for that, and so they beg for a true death instead.

Rogier - Depression

"This is unfortunate...Couldn't change a thing."

While Rogier is a character described as concealing his anger, regret, grief, and fear, his aloof bearing is most reminiscent of someone a bit more numb than anything else. Yes he is friendly and polite, but we're told by the game that this is a mask, and it's something not entirely uncommon in high functioning individuals afflicted with depression. He's someone that has lost everything else - the higher purpose a tarnished may find in the sight of grace, his friendships, whatever past he left behind before either dying or being exiled to TLB, even his life. He gives us, a near perfect stranger, his belongings, easily admitting he has no further use for it, reminiscent of the way a dying/suicidal person might start wrapping up the loose ends of their life. All he has left is his research, which, without our help, he'd have lost the ability to continue. Rogier clings to this final thread, hopes of seeing it through to the end, but his parting words to us are about a void he feels himself falling into, something deep and fathomless, and in the end that void consumes him.

Fia - Acceptance

This is goodbye, my dear. But I am satisfied.

Fia's quest revolves around not just the acceptance of TWLID, but uplifting them, mothering them, weathering the blows an unkind world would rain on them. Death is not an idle interest or a vague abstraction to her, but her profession, her purpose. Where Darian looks at what the dead have done and sees violence and blood, Fia sees the meek in need of a merciful mother. Death is not something to be reviled, but embraced. She even goes to her own end with grace and poise, knowing that the creation of the rune will kill her. She is content with her place at Godwyn's side, and readily accepts her end.

#elden ring #elden ring meta #d hunter of the dead #d beholder of death #godwyn the golden #sorcerer rogier #fia the deathbed companion #godwyn #the age of the duskborn #wraith meta

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brazenautomaton · 8 months

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re gender dysphoria: what are those other criteria, though, do you think? i share your intuition that the number of people who claim to have dysphoria may be higher than the number of people who really do, but i struggle to think of a better way to ID those who do other than "ask them if they have it." do we just disregard their "yes" if it comes with the caveat "and also i think we should broaden that concept to include people who want to go by 'they' sometimes but otherwise change nothing"?

see now that's the tricky part, figuring out how many people are lying or mistaken about a completely subjective experience

as I understand it the neurological origin of transgenderism is that your body develops one way if there's sufficient testosterone present, and another way if there isn't. this is what SRY-activated genes are. everyone contains a complete genetic blueprint for themselves as a man and themselves as a woman, and it's the presence of testosterone that determines which one to use.

your brain forms at a different time than the rest of your body, and if the testosterone level goes above/below the line between those two points, then you have mismatch. your sense of self and your sense of your own body are made for a body you don't have. you literally have a man's/woman's brain in a woman's/man's body. since you cannot change the nature of someone's identity, and it would be evil if you could, the solution is to change the body.

as I understand it, there is a part of the brain you can look at to determine if it's male or female and in trans people it's much more likely to be mismatched, but the part is so small you can't really see it unless you do an autopsy, and no research on this has been done in like 30 years and if it had been it'd be too ideologically captured to be useful.

so I believe that trans people do exist and it is a real condition and it has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone's culture, opinions, decisions, or ideology. it has nothing to do with gender roles, it has nothing to do with how you are seen, it's that your nervous system is wired for a different model and is constantly reporting "there's this thing here that isn't supposed to be here, and stuff is missing, and your balance is off, and and and..."

you don't have to have an ideological declaration of the true ungraspable essence of gender-truth, and before trans rights became devoured, this is what I observed: "dude I don't know what it is that makes a True Man or True Woman I just know I'm the wrong fucking one."

this was ideologically inconvenient, so it's not the story any more. now the experience has to match what the ideology wants to be true, which is that there is no subjective experience of gender whatsoever and it's only contemptible, punishable sexists who ever think otherwise.

so now we have to have to repeat that there's "so many genders" and accept it as "scientific fact" even though it's based on nothing but devouring. there's two genders and they're "SRY-activated" and "not SRY-activated" and they exist independent of any opinion or culture or identity. no matter what cultures associate with them, the fact that different things can be associated with it does not change underlying material reality. but we're not allowed to notice that because it would mean sexism isn't maximally easy to solve and might require something other than yelling and making demands.

this is all only vaguely connected. my conclusion is that there are in theory ways you could screen for it like "has this been a thing you have felt since you were young and only recently were able to put a name to" and "did you develop strong opinions in gender politics before or after you realized you were trans" or "if every other human being on Earth died and you were doing some I Am Legend shit, would you continue to present as this gender and would you seek HRT in the apocalyptic Afterscape?"

but it is impossible to actually communicate "no you have to answer this question honestly instead of repeating the thing that affirms your ingroup status" and even if you could, it's impossible to have the people looking at those answers care about the truth instead of playing cruelty games and telling flattering stories to themselves about their ideology

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hellhoundmaggie · 11 months

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5 comfort characters

Finally getting to this @cymatile. the notification email has been burning a hole in my inbox for weeks now and I'm glad to finally get to it!

The Beast/Prince Adam (Beauty and the Beast 1991) As a bookish autistic little girl, I of course identified very strongly with Belle. As a city kid in a small town, I still do sometimes. But as an adult, I find myself drawn to the other half of the pairing. Belle is of course a lovely young lady, and I appreciate how she only respects the Beast when he first extends respect to her. But let us face it, she is too perfect a character to be truly compelling. Beast is quite the work in progress, though, and that's what makes him so fascinating. You thrill as you watch him angst and snarl and throw his weight around -- first to frighten and threaten others, then to protect the woman he loves. You are charmed as he discovers joy and companionship, then mourn with him as he gives it up to return Belle's freedom to her. And you're just a little disappointed when he changes into a generically-handsome man, even if it does mean he and Belle get to live happily ever after. Plus, as the meme says: "I'll get that bitch a library. Bitches love libraries."

Shane (Stardew Valley) Okay, I've read all the criticisms many times. He starts out mean to you for no reason. He's a total slob and a sad sack. He never actually quits drinking. He looks like Ben Shapiro. And I gotta tell you: I cannot fault this very good chicken man for any of it. This is another guy that I feel no choice but to root for because he struggles with so many flaws. I appreciate that the game doesn't let you "fix" them for him: you only give him the help he directly asks you for. He makes the most important changes himself, and the stuff he doesn't change isn't a dealbreaker for me. Plus Shane kind of looks like my IRL spouse so I gotta love him just for that, y'know? I can't forgive him for liking gridball, though. As a nerd, jocks are my natural enemy. Sorry, I don't have a choice!

Entrapta (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) Not a lot of people know this, but ND Stevenson called me up while he was developing the She-Ra reboot and asked for my input. I asked him, "Are you going to have a woman character with autistic coding in the show?" "Yes, we're going to have one of those," he said. "And is she going to have a special interest that few other characters in the show understand or empathize with?" "Okay, yeah." "Is she going to despair of ever finding genuine human connection and try to find solace in technology before learning that yes, there are people who care about her and value her uniqueness?" "Ooh, that's a good idea. Sure." "And can you pair her up with an angsty boy?" "I can definitely do that. Thanks, Maggie!" And that's why Reboot Entrapta is the way she is. You're welcome, everyone. 4. Wayne (Scarlet Hollow) I already post a lot about this guy, so I won't say much this time. I like him because he lets me explore the idea of being the subject of extreme passion and devotion in a way that doesn't put me in actual danger. I would never seek out that kind of relationship in real life, but love beyond proportion, beyond reason, beyond sanity is compelling in fiction. Plus he makes for some fun memes. 5. Mr. Pages (Fallen London) I love this big ol' nerd: its creative vocabulary, its book hyperfixation, and how bad it is at hiding the fact that it's not human. As soon as they put out the balance patch for Mask of the Rose, I am going to figure out how to smooch it, and you cannot stop me.

tagging nobody! Do this if you feel like it.

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sinigangsta-ao3 · 2 years

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Thursday Thoughts: On fandom and a sense of belonging, pt. 2

second part posted on a Friday lol

A few additions to yesterday's Thursday Thoughts, especially since that post seems to have resonated with a lot of people (btw, thanks @ao3commentoftheday for both your "overthinking" that inspired my original post and the signal boost!) — and a lot of people added some really important perspectives that I wanted to consolidate here.

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On validation:

First things first, some clarification on my terminology: When I use the term "validation," I understand that word sometimes can be misconstrued as praise, fame, widespread recognition, etc. — especially on the Internet and in fandom. To clarify: when I say that people want to be validated, I specifically mean that they want to be affirmed and recognized as worthwhile. Sometimes, it's a matter of just being seen, full stop. Of being recognized that they exist (because sometimes people enter spaces, online or offline, and their existence isn't even acknowledged — and that is inherently a disheartening and dehumanizing experience. How can it not be?). On that note...

When I say that people seek validation, I definitely do not believe that means seeking validation or recognition at scale. I think, for most people in fandom (including me), validation through one or two readers/viewers who say, "I see that you did this work, and I think it's good and/or I appreciate that you did the work" is more than sufficient. I'm not saying that there aren't individuals in fandom who seek fandom fame or "cult status" — I have seen some and have observed them. I do, however, think those who seek fandom fame are the minority, rather than the majority. Basically, I do not think that, for the most part, artists/creators truly desire high volume of engagement — I just think that, psychologically and neurologically speaking, engagement metrics are the only things our brains can hinge on when we're trying to find authentic emotional and social connections via the zeroes and ones on the Internet. And volume feels like authenticity when we're looking at a screen.

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On community:

In the tags, @rowenabean made a really great clarifying point about seeking community: "looking for connection is important and valid; needing it to come from one specific person or place is unhealthy." To which I say: YES ABSOLUTELY 100%. In my initial reflections, I'm definitely not saying that fandom is the only place where people seek connection — instead, I'm saying that people inherently seek connection ANYWHERE they go. This is also where my allusions to "individual responsibilities" come in...

We owe it to ourselves and are ultimately responsible for not only navigating online spaces based on our needs, but also honestly calibrating our expectations within ourselves when we navigate online communities. If we're seeking connection, we must constantly ask ourselves: "What am I actually looking for here?"; "Am I being clear with myself and with others on what I want and/or need?"; and — most importantly — "Am I being honest with myself with the fact that I cannot control others and if/how they have the capacity to connect with me?" Answers to that last question, in particular, get blurred because of the chaos of the Internet and the inability to effectively interpret others' intentions through a screen. I also think it's fair for us to get disappointed when misinterpretations happen in our attempts to build connection online — we're only human, after all. We can and should grieve loss, even if it's "just" a loss of a potential online friendship/connection.

Side note: this is all about healthy boundary setting, and I think that the work by Nedrata Glover Tawwab — including her book, "Set Boundaries, Find Peace" — has some really helpful tips on how to navigate this. She even provides some insights and advice on setting effective boundaries on social media and in online spaces, generally.

But, going back to diversifying the different containers in which you pour pieces of yourself: I fundamentally believe that fandom shouldn't be the only place you find a sense of belonging and that fandom can be one of a multitude of places in which you find authentic connection. I know there are some people who look down on individuals who try to seek authentic connection and a safe space in fandom — and I think that is both a problematic and privileged take. For some people, fandom can sometimes be the only place in which they feel safe enough to share certain parts of themselves. And that is a valid, understandable, and reasonable approach.

Finally, my good fandom + writing friend @onwriting-hrarby made a great point that, more often than not, we internalize the blame when we are unwelcomed because it is easier to see what's wrong within us instead of looking at the way in which the community/space we're entering is not set up for us to participate, let alone to belong (this is where my allusion to "systemic changes" comes in). In her own words:

Sometimes we blame ourselves for not having found the community, or still finding the way we feel ourselves comfortable with it, without giving full thought that we are not taught to navigate communities that don’t want us, or neglect us because it is easier not to rebel against them and just feel shame or guilt over it.

When Oedipus gets exiled by Creontes, the choir sings about the great “fall of man”, and we’re introduced a human that couldn’t navigate the community where he was shove in. But we hardly see the same amount of criticism to Creontes, the king, for whom is extremely convenient to have Oedipus exiled.

Forming part of a community implies vulnerability to let this community hurt you or welcome you. There is no sense of belonging without opening yourself to it, and pour your feelings onto it. That’s why it hurts when we are not welcome: it is not only that we feel like we don’t belong but that, ultimately, they are saying “no” to who we are, after bearing ourselves open.

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On that note: I think that's enough for this week lol. I will inevitably revisit this topic at some point, either in a future Thursday Thoughts post or just generally. I can't help it: this is literally where my brain just goes, haha.

Sending everyone good vibes — and hoping that you're able to find connection and validation in whatever way that resonates for you! 💕

#on fandom #sense of belonging #online community #connection #validation #thursday thoughts #nina-bean writing

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queerprayers · 11 months

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Do you think god can help me find a romantic partner? Or since we have free will its just luck/chance?

Hi, beloved! Can I say yes to both? :)

I see God working through chance and luck all the time, even though that might sound like a contradiction. God works unpredictably without an observable cause, God encompasses all the forces we perceive as working for or against us, God exists outside of time, God encompasses what we've given all kinds of names, like chance/luck/fate/destiny. However you see the world, however we interpret things happening, whether we seek meaning in why things happen or if we simply accept that they happened, God is there.

Much of finding a romantic partner is what we usually call chance, because it's who you meet and when you meet them! I do think the people in our lives are there for a reason, but not because of divinely ordained soulmates or anything like that--more like, every person on this earth is someone we can learn from, and, if we meet them at the right time, is someone we can connect with. A lot of factors go into whether we begin a romantic relationship with someone in our life--I don't really encounter God as someone pulling divine strings, so I prefer to let those factors, while God-encompassed, be a divine mystery (mystery in the unable-to-be-comprehended/full-of-wonder sense, not the something-to-be-figured-out sense).

Seeking out God/recognizing Their presence can absolutely transform you, though, and mostly people find that they are better able to approach romantic relationships when they're in a stable, loving place. Obviously instability is a part of all our lives, and we shouldn't wait around for a perfect life before seeking out other people. But I find I am more able to be a better family member/friend/partner when I am spiritually present.

In case you need this: Whatever comes next for you, remember all the kinds of love we strive to value--love for friends, family, strangers, enemies. Don't wait around for someone to romantically love you to be a whole, loving person. I find it really meaningful that we consider Jesus as having been fully human, full of love, but he never emphasized (or even really mentioned) romance, and it wasn't a part of his life at all if we're being orthodox (for the headcanon enjoyers: it at least wasn't deemed necessary to be documented for future Christians). The most perfect Lover who ever walked this earth did not center romance in any way. Romance is meaningful and beautiful but it is not our ultimate calling--or at least, it is only one way to take part in our ultimate calling, which is Love.

Did God magically create a soulmate for you? Doubtful, sorry. Is God a puppeteer throwing people into your life, one of whom is meant to run away with you? I don't really see it that way. But we are called to love all those who cross our path, and we are called to renew our hearts and be spiritually present, and romantic relationships bloom when we move through the world with love, but often when we're least expecting them. For everything there is a season.

So my answer is: God can absolutely help you to find love in yourself/others/God. Chance/luck/free will/fate/destiny/God will lead you where they lead you. My answer is I won't pretend to understand any of it, but I do trust we were born to do this. May God be with you as you continue questioning and seeking and creating relationships of all kinds!

<3 Johanna

#asks

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cosmichighpriestess · 1 year

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Self Love (part two)

I previously wrote about self love and the inner work that I've discovered for myself and what has worked for me. When we come into higher states of awareness it becomes clear that self love is of the utmost importance in order to expand and truly evolve. We hear the phrases, " just love yourself, focus on self love, self care, you have to learn to love yourself to be loved." Ect. But no one ever tells you how to truly love yourself because it takes a lot of healing first. It's important to remember you cannot truly love yourself until you've done inner healing work daily and mostly it's trial and error, getting back up again after difficult days of feeling not good enough, beating ourselves up, feeling unappreciated, unloved, and searching for validation outside ourselves only to discover that doesn't work and it's not real self love to only focus on the outside.

We must choose to go inwards. We must tune into our hearts, and connect with our soul to see what it is we truly need to do and heal in order to love ourselves. When we love on ourselves we instantly raise our vibration. Anything we dislike about ourselves are just concepts based from third dimensional beliefs from human programming of what is "good" and "bad" with no real substance other than your belief in them. Change the belief, change your reality. What does practicing self love really entail? When we truly want to love ourselves without faking it, we practice boosting our self confidence. We spend quality time with ourselves. We invest in our self care rituals. We reprogram our limiting, false negative beliefs about ourselves daily. We dig deeper in all ways to truly eliminate all false illusions about ourselves.

We say and write down positive self love affirmations daily, and we immediately throw away any negative thoughts about ourselves that are lies. We become self disciplined and regularly challenge our old self and give ourselves a stress free life by making things easier on our future self. We start saying no to everything not in alignment with our higher selves. We stop beating ourselves up, and start honoring and nurturing our sacred vessels. We cut out smoking, drinking, drugs, eating disorders, giving away our bodies, and we start drinking more water, eating healthy, healing our bodies, and we cut out anyone negative in our lives with firm boundaries. We no longer tolerate or accept their ignorance and abuse in our lives and we take back our power and our energy. We burn bridges because we know we can swim. We stop letting others with lower states of consciousness take advantage of us just because they don't know how to love themselves. No one can truly love you unless they love themselves. When you have a consciousness of self-loathing, self hatred you draw to yourself the experiences supporting more of that energy.

At a certain point of our evolution it becomes easier to love ourselves because of our higher states of consciousness. When we love ourselves, most people no longer become attractive to us unless we can see they are good for us. We can truly become even more isolated because fewer and fewer people have done the inner work that we have done on ourselves. You only allow people into your life if they deserve you. You stop needing other people to make you feel less lonely, and they become a bonus in your life, not a necessity. The qualities we dislike about ourselves are really our inner child desperately seeking support, love, and approval from us. Whenever you find yourself judging yourself harshly just become conscious and aware, and say, "Oh you again. No we're not doing that anymore. I'm in charge now and I say we're enough as I am now and I love every part of myself completely." You will always be a spiritual being regardless if you choose a reality of heaven or hell, your human flaws and errors are not who you truly are underneath. You will not be punished just because you have a bad habit. Consciousness is always moving forward, you are always evolving no matter how slowly; evolution never stops.

When we keep evolving we keep discovering our true form. Once you stop feeding the negative illusions about yourself they disappear because they have nothing to hold them in place. When we love ourselves we see our worth and we stop second guessing ourselves. Loving ourselves is moving out of old third dimensional beliefs and realizing that everything I need is embodied within me because Source/God is Self and I am already complete and perfect now. If I choose to share that with someone else, that is great, but I do not, never have, and never will need someone outside of myself in order to be whole. Once you transform yourself in mind, body, and soul you truly make it easier to love every part of yourself because you are healed and you did it. No one else did it for you; you can no longer be broken or have those self loathing tendencies because you built yourself up and you are living from a higher state of consciousness. You become unbreakable, secure in yourself and love yourself completely. Nothing and no one can take it away from you.

#messages #Rose messages

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loopy777 · 10 months

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Not that everyone has to have kids, but why do you think Bumi II and Kya II didnt have any kids of their own? Was it because of how Aang wasnt a great dad to them?

Psychologically, their issues with Aang might be the deep-down bedrock-level root cause, but I'm not psychologist and we're talking about cartoon characters, so let's go a few levels higher.

First of all, I want to say that I agree people don't have to have kids. I'm almost certainly never going to have kids. I say this because I don't want my next statement is be misinterpreted:

Bumi and Kya are not complete people.

Think about it. Neither one has any friends. Neither one has a home of their own. Neither one has any kind of community outside their mother and their brother (and Tenzin's family in turn, which includes Korra and her various hanger-ons). Bumi had a purpose in his life with his military career, but he gives that up before we've even heard him utter a single complete sentence, in favor of becoming a freeloader in his brother's place. Kya supposedly traveled the world, but when Aang died she came back to the South Pole to supposedly help Katara- and yet she produces no contacts or information during the story's world-spanning adventures, and Korra never met her before Book Spirits.

How could either of these people consider having kids? I'm not sure they know how to have a conversation with anyone who isn't involved with Avatar Business in some way.

Even if either one theoretically managed to acquire a kid, I don't think that would make them complete people. I can honestly see both of them dropping their kid off with Tenzin and fleeing. Or else showing up at Tenzin's doorstep for his and his family's help raising the kid.

Now, maybe their inability to form connections with literally any other human being they're not related to is because of Aang's parenting. But I don't think the story's intention is for Bumi and Kya to be that damaged by their childhood. And, as long as we're looking at things from a meta-perspective, let's admit that the real reason for this portrayal is because LoK is about Korra, and Bumi'n'Kya are in an outer orbit around her compared to the more consistent cast (and even Asami literally has no one in her life but Korra and Mako and Varrick). However, the result is that Bumi had an entire military career but no old veteran buddies, and Kya is the franchise's first confirmed lesbian but has never so much as been depicted as flirting with someone never mind actually engaging in a romance.

All we have to work with is the text of the story, and that says that neither Bumi nor Kya are outgoing enough to consider procreating. The fandom likes to imagine past relationships for them with Toph's kids or Izumi, but let's face it- those kids probably would have rather died than dated one of Aang's kids, except for Lin, who wishes she had died instead of dating Tenzin, and even she never had so much as a conversation with Bumi or Kya.

If we wanted to repair this portrayal, there are some options. We could say that Bumi preferred to focus on his career, or just have someone Korra's age show up one day and say, "Nice to meet you, Dad. Remember that cute Si Wong sandbender 20 years ago?"

For Kya, it could be even easier; just introduce her grown child as someone everyone already knows about and is familiar with (except Korra, who can serve as our audience POV) and who coincidentally has never been mentioned before now despite there being plenty of logical places where it should have happened. (It's a tried and true LoK storytelling tactic! :P) Or talk about the difficulties that a lesbian seeking to have a child would encounter in the Avatar world. Or just give her a personal reason for not having a kid while also establishing that she has friends and lovers around the world.

The possibilities are endless when you treat Bumi and Kya as actual characters.

#lok critical

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