#we'll hope for the best. we'll hope for a recovery. even if not a full recovery. i just want to have my dad. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luveline · 5 months

Note

hiii, i just wanna say i absolutely adoreee ur writing ur amazing and fabulous. I wanted to request something with hotch where reader gets hurt pretty badly in the field and is gonna have to spend a lot of time in recovery (so like not being able to work in the field for a while) and just a lot of fluff and comforting? (thx ur the bestest ever ever ever and i <3 u i’ve been reading ur stuff for years)

love u <3 fem

Your leg is broken in four different places.

Hotch is sure you're going to cry the moment you realise what that means, but he isn't expecting for it to be a minute after you've woken up.

“We'll get you something for the pain,” a nurse promises.

“It's not that,” you say, you sob, looking between your leg and Hotch as though you're hoping he'll tell you something different.

You live for your job. They all have their reasons, and they all have their vices. You and Hotch are the same —you can't live without this. There's no alternative.

But your leg is undeniably broken.

The nurse gives him a look, hoping he'll calm you down, and he would've started the moment your eyes welled with tears if he thought he could change the outcome. Still, it breaks his heart to see you so immediately upset. He has to try something.

“It's not forever,” he says.

“How long?”

“Not forever.” The break, the surgery, the physical therapy. He asked for the estimates. He doesn't want to be the one to tell you, but you won't accept it from anyone else. “Six months.”

The broken leg isn't the end of it. Your wrist is fractured, your pinky and ring finger broken, a laceration the length of his hand up your thigh. You were concussed, you're still at risk of agitating all the things you've hurt. Your face crumples and you can't even cover it with two hands like you would. It is, admittedly, the worst you've ever been at. Hotch can't stand it.

“Would you excuse us?” he asks the nurse. “I have her.”

“Hotch,” you say as the door closes, your voice achingly unhappy, “make them check again.”

He takes your uninjured wrist. Holds it. “They've done everything they can do. I promise you, I was here for all of it. I argued against the pins, I knew they'd keep you here longer, I– against my better judgement, I sent people away because I knew you wouldn't want them to see you like this. This is the best outcome I could salvage.”

“This is the best?” you ask, shaking your head at him. “This is my life.”

You didn't see yourself. The way you'd laid there after it was over. You don't get that this is a good thing, that you weren't hurt worse. All you can see is months of desk duty, and he can't even blame you, because six months away would make him ill.

“This is the best I could do for you,” he says, rubbing your wrist with his thumb. “I'm sorry.”

His apology catches you off guard. You make a sound near a hiccup and turn to him completely, the fat body of a tear dripping down your cheek to your chin, where it stays. He can see the question before you've asked it and he won't make you, either, leaning down to cover you up with his arms, his chin atop your head. “I'm sorry, honey. I know how much it means to you.”

“It's…” Your good arm works around him weakly, a hesitant touch to his back. “Not your fault. I…”

He lets you fade, rubbing at the top of your arm, enthusing you with as much warmth as he can. “Six months recovery doesn't mean six months out of the field,” he promises. “In two months you'll be walking. It won't feel as long as you're thinking.”

“In a boot.”

In a full cast, poor thing. He frowns, pressing his nose into your head. “You can consult from home just as soon as you're home,” he says softly, still rubbing your arm. The touch turns to a gentle stroking, his palm numb to the ticklish sensation your naked arm brings, the sleeve of your hospital gown bunching with each line he makes.

“I know you're unhappy, but it will heal. And you have an army of people who can't wait to see you. We… things have been complicated.”

“How long was I out?” you ask.

“You were awake between surgeries, but it's been two days.”

You hug him with more insistence. “Thanks for looking after me,” you whisper.

Oh, sweetheart, he could say. He could kiss your crown. Honestly, Hotch could take your face into his hands and suddenly he is, he's holding your face and looking down at you, eyes dark and sorry to your silvery tears.

He strokes your cheek. “It'll be alright,” he promises.

You dissolve into tears again in his hands. He wipes them away as they come, for as long as they will. It's the least he'd do for you.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotch x reader #hotch #hotch x you #hotch blurb #hotch drabble

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scribblestatic · 6 months

Text

More Clown on this silly day

---

"Quirk exhaustion."

The doctor stands outside of the private room he set up for Midoriya Izuku. The boy laid in the bed, pale and unconscious with a breathing mask over his nose and mouth. His bruise, previously getting darker, was lightening up from the use of a doctor's quirk.

Of course, they couldn't heal everything. Doctors hadn't been able to heal his lungs, pancreas, or anything else in the general area. They'd done their best, and if he hadn't seen the absolute best in their field, he would've died that day. He never thought they'd done anything but the absolute most they could. He still thinks they did everything possible.

It just so happens that what Midoriya Izuku has accomplished is impossible.

"He should be fine after a few days of rest, but whatever he did with his quirk wore him out."

"Ah... Well, he confronted a villain," Toshinori says, lying. "Mild suffocation, from what I recall. His quirk saved his life by the time I got there."

"Hmm...certainly. Well, we'll be sure to do everything we can to help him. He's cleared for others to enter his room, so you can sit with him if you'd prefer."

"Thank you."

So, he does, entering the room and sitting at his bedside, the heart monitor beeping away. He'd made it to the hospital as quickly as possible after dropping the sludge villain off at a police station with a note of what his crimes were.

The delay wasn't long, but he hoped that it wouldn't hinder the boy's recovery.

...Moreover, he had so many questions.

What exactly is the boy's quirk?

He'd been doing what looked like magic tricks, playful and clownish, when he arrived. Even after he arrived, he did something of a little performance while doing the job All Might was supposed to do.

For a moment, he was afraid the boy had somehow replaced Toshinori's lungs with his own. Thankfully, a scan showed that his lungs weren't damaged.

His body simply showed high levels of stress and strain with high amounts of adrenaline and cortisol in his blood. He also had hypervalfridemia (hyper- for excess, valfri- for quirk or quirk factor hormones, -emia for blood: excess quirk factor hormones in blood), which often corresponds with excessive quirk use. That, plus All Might's own...er, fudged confession of what occurred likely led to the 'quirk exhaustion' diagnosis.

He still needs to get himself checked to figure out what the hell happened in his own body. Whatever it was, it allowed him to breathe much easier than he has for years.

"...Well, you lied, young man," Toshinori sighs.

His scar is still there. He doesn't mind that. However, whatever he'd done to him clearly took entirely too much out of the boy. Even so...

He thinks about it for a moment, then he opens a notebook that was in the boy's backpack, flipping through the pages full of...quite detailed and thorough hero analysis. Indeed, the boy seemed to be thinking quite seriously about becoming one. But that wasn't what he opened the notebook for.

He finds a blank page and, knowing the boy is a fan, writes his signature across two pages.

On the back of the second one, he pens the number for a burner cell he uses often.

Then, he gets up, patting Midoriya's shoulder.

"Get well soon."

He then leaves. After all, he has to get checked on himself.

-- --

"I don't know what you did..." Recovery Girl murmurs, her voice wavering in surprise. "But it's done you some good. More good than I've seen in years."

Toshinori also stares at the CT scans of his chest, his mouth slightly open in awe. Naomasa, Nedzu, and Gran Torino are also there upon receiving his rather hurried call. They marvel at the results, shocked to see them.

His lungs are completely healed. As good as if he'd never gotten them damaged. Moreover, his diaphragm, which was also damaged and prevented him from breathing properly, was healed as well.

Most of his stomach was still missing, and his other organs still missed parts and looked crumpled like before. But his lungs and diaphragm were exceptionally healthy.

"What the hell... What'd you do?" Gran Torino asks, turning to his former student.

"I didn't do anything. It's...what young Midoriya did."

"Midoriya?" Naomasa hums. "The boy you said you took to the hospital. I thought you said it was from a villain attack?"

"Well, it was... Rather, that's how we met. He was stalling a villain with his quirk. But, after I was going to leave, he ended up finding out about my, erh, circumstances." He pats his left side, still in awe at feeling his ribs press against his hand instead of be slightly deflated compared to the right. "He said he'd like to heal my scar and...against all reason, I know. I know I shouldn't have said yes, but I felt... I don't understand. I felt drawn to let him try."

"And he healed your lung and diaphragm instead." Nedzu put his paw on his chin.

"Yeah." Toshinori looks at his hand. "...With my lungs back in full order, I think I have another hour in me."

"Dammit, kid, don't go off running yourself ragged," Gran grumbles.

"N-No, of course not." He quickly raises his hands placatingly. "I wouldn't want to test it too much. Besides... Whatever he did, the boy, it put him in the hospital. He was unconscious when I left."

"Prognosis?"

"Doctor said 'quirk exhaustion.'"

Recovery Girl squints at the scans, simply baffled.

"...It's quite like my quirk."

They others look toward her as she continues.

"My quirk enhances a person's own ability to heal by using their internal energy. Of course, that depends on your body's ability, and our cells eventually run out of energy to repair themselves. That's why we age, why we get old, and eventually die. Even someone with high regenerative abilities often can't escape their eventual fate."

She taps his new left lung.

"But this... It's more than just giving you energy. It's as though your body got briefly rejuvenated, and it specifically repaired your lung and diaphragm. Your genetics were, in a sense, overwritten...no, put on overdrive? Temporarily given enough energy to fully recover in the span of seconds? And that should generally be impossible."

When she turns to the others, her expression is grim.

"That boy... He possibly sacrificed his own cellular energy to give you the ability to recover the way you did."

Toshinori's expression drops, shocked.

"But... The doctor said he'd be sleeping for just a few days. Is it... It's that bad?"

"Possibly... I can't say for sure without knowing his quirk."

"...Well, his ID said he's quirkless when he's clearly not."

"What did you notice from him? You said he was using his quirk when you got there," Nedzu cuts in.

"Ah... How could I describe it..." Toshinori puts his hand to his chin, squinting as he thinks. "...It's quite hard to. Something like...spatial...no... Erh, for example. I had empty soda bottles in my pockets to catch the villain--slime or sludge body, couldn't cuff 'im--but he was there, distracting him. Midoriya then...got juggling balls from nowhere and started juggling them. As he did, they suddenly became the bottles I'd gotten together. Then, he turned the bottles into a tablecloth or something? He gets the sludge villain under the tablecloth and..."

Toshinori claps his hands together before spreading them out.

"Bam. Caught and padlocked in the bottles. It was like..."

"A magic trick," Nedzu finishes. "His quirk perhaps has something to do with the work of magicians."

"Or clowns."

The others look at Toshinori, confused. But he just shrugs.

"I'm not sure why. He gave off the sort of impression you'd get from a clown rather than a magician."

"So he used his quirk...his magic tricks...to have him grow new organs?" Naomasa wonders. "That should be impossible, as Recovery Girl said."

"But quirks are always getting stronger, aren't they?" Gran cuts in, crossing his arms. "And it took a toll on 'im, however he did it. But what are we going to do with this information?"

Nedzu hums. "Well, a quirk like this sounds intriguing. I suppose it's not something he's talked about, considering his ID said he was quirkless. So, since he's hiding it..."

"Is there something dangerous with it?"

"Possibly. Or he knows it could be dangerous if someone villainous knows about it."

"Considering how powerful it can be..." Recovery Girl trails off, looking back at Toshinori's scans.

...Right then.

They'd have to keep an eye on the mysterious young man.

And, perhaps, keep an eye on the things happening around him, too.

#au post 6 #clown deku au #static writes #static drabbles #bnha au #bnha #mha au

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gogogogolev · 3 months

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Today marks the 8th anniversary of our blog.

I am sharing a photo by Isabelle Zky from 2023 Grand Prix de France today. It looks like Stephen is spreading his wings to soar off.

Year 8 saw some highs and lows. Stephen started to turn things around and won his first senior international medal. He was well choreographed, well costumed, and even engaged in social media usage related to his skating. He listened to us and spent time at his home club in Toronto. He was able to show some progress, gaining confidence in his abilities with some great skates, including a new personal best short program.

His third withdrawal from Nationals was unfortunate, but it was definitely the right decision. While we wish to see Stephen succeed, it's not at the expense of his health. Every withdrawal of his is heartbreaking but the ones at Nationals just hurt a bit more as he is definitely someone who has the ability to succeed at that stage. Maybe next year is finally his year.

I heard some terrible commentary after Nationals and I believe a few people have forgotten what has been going on with Stephen. The past 5 years have been incredibly tumultuous. Shortly after he moved to the US Stephen got injured. Then he missed an entire season, and when he was starting to come back and won Challenge he had to withdraw from Nationals due to COVID. Then last season happened, and I think that's quite negatively impacted how the public perceives him. He did make changes as a result of that, and he was heading in the right direction, but this injury arose before he could show us the full effects of those changes. All this time he's been growing and is now more than a foot taller than when he began competing in juniors. He's been dealing with a lot of complex problems that are demoralizing. Some would choose to retire yet he's continuing to persevere. I know people have run out of patience, but we need a bit more of it when it comes to Stephen.

These posts are too long every time so let's wrap this up. I had this quote I wanted to share from Vaclav Havel about hope. I know we are all very sad but don't give up hope. If there's anything I've understood in 8 years it's that Stephen's fans are a resilient bunch. Considering his uncommunicative stance with his fans and how his career has progressed I realize we haven't really had a choice. Hang in there.

Thank you to everyone who supports Stephen. Thanks to you all as well for following along with me. Most importantly, thank you to Stephen for doing his best with the limited season he had. He put himself on the SB 75 list so hopefully we'll get to see him on the Grand Prix series next season though I am unsure how many months he will be gone for this time around. Please make a full recovery and come back stronger than ever.

Onward to year 9.

#stephen gogolev #GPdF23 #2023 2024 season #photos

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simplymakkari · 2 years

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Druig taking care of a sick Makkari? I love your writing btw.

Here you go, anon! I hope this meets your expectations! (And yeah, I went totally overboard with this, much to my dismay, but I hope you enjoy it anyways!) 🥺

SUMMARY: It's February in the grandiose of Arishem University and roommates (and occasional friends with benefits) Druig and Makkari rally the town of Olympia with their mischievousness.

However, one week, Makkari falls ill, stricken with the flu and it's up to Druig to take care of a sick Makkari like the good (whipped and smitten) man he is (because that's what best friends do). Fluff and smut and many, many bowls of Gilgamesh's chicken noodle soup ensue.

DAY THREE

It had begun with a little cough, here and there. No worries, it would disappear. But then the next morning, the cough had been replaced with a terribly sore throat that aches and burns scratchingly raw.

And then the third day, her muscles are being snared with utmost deep tension in her bones, chills settling into her with the laughable mockery of a cold smile. It leaves her in pain, confined to the bed.

Druig's taken the liberty of calling off work for the both of them when it's clear Makkari isn't getting any better. He assured her several times that her boss, Thena and his boss, Ben understood.

Druig had also sent several emails to her professors explaining her current predicament. They too, are blessedly understandable — "I may have had to put my powers of mind control to good use in person," he joked to her — waiving off her future assignments and wishing her a speedy recovery.

You didn't have to do that, she tells him.

"Nonsense, Makkari. Ye've taken care of me. Now it's my turn," Druig smiles, finishing signing and speaking, helping her sit up for the third time that day, from her rousing vivid-filled sleep in confusion, propping more pillows behind her back.

He hands her two painkillers and a glass of water. She swallows them with some slight difficulty.

He's also swung by the popular restaurant of Gilgamesh's, nestled in the ever-so bustling Olympia Mall in town, picking up bowls of his famous chicken noodle soup.

Druig tells her: "They say his soup works wonders for the soul. Ben told me to give some to ye to help cure your sickness."

Druig holds out a spoon, bowl in hand, gently trying to coax it into her system. Makkari hesitantly opens her mouth. Nausea pools inside her disagreeing stomach, ripping past her lungs, her throat, her mouth into the lifting trash can Druig quickly holds up by their bed.

His hand presses against her back soothingly, his fingers simultaneously pulling double duty — keeping her messy braid from falling forward.

We'll try again later, Druig promises, when she stops dry-heaving. She nods weakly in response, blinks at him groggily, her fingers holding onto his clothed waist.

— Just end me, Makkari moans in a dramatic fashion, her hands lifting. Her signs are slow and sluggish.

"Ah, can't do that, honey," Druig half-smirks, signs briefly one-handed while picking up a wet washcloth, wiping her lips clean of her saliva. A joke passes on his fingertips. "Who else would torment me so?"

Makkari tries to chuckle, tries to say oh, possibly my ghost if this keeps up at this rate — only to find her chest racking with another round of wet, hacking coughs, her eyes watering.

God, she hates this.

Hates feeling so useless, full of exhaustion and unlike herself, her usual bubbling energy being siphoned from her. Tissues surround her, bawled up and most scattered all over the floor, having missed the trash can below.

Druig watches. There is tension, worriment and sadness crossing over his face. He does not speak as he signs. It hurts me to see you like this.

— I'm sorry, she says, apologetic. Even though she can't hear her coughs, she's pretty sure it's an annoyance to him. Makkari has been coughing for the past three days and she's sure he can hear down the hall, disturbing his sleep.

"It's okay. Everyone coughs and it's fuckin' annoyin' —" A chuckle, his hands lowering. His eyes soften as he watches her, immediately adding and shaking his head, " — but not ye. I could never be annoyed with ye."

From her watering eyes, he wipes away a few stray tears running down her cheeks, Druig supportive as always. God, she does not deserve this man at all.

"But everyone gets sick," Druig mollifies, enunciating clearly for her, "even me, remember? Somehow, ye're still lookin' beautiful —"

— Nonsense, I don't —

"— aye, you do. I don't know how, but ye do. But we'll get ye better, all right? But when I said rest, I meant all of ye . Even yer hands. I don't want to hear another word, Makkari. Rest."

Makkari nods, sniffles and smiles half-heartedly. He cups her face between his hands, a tender gesture. She's too tired to challenge him today and he knows it. Any other day not plagued with this vengeful flu she would be quick on her fingertips to snap back a joke.

She finds herself deeply admiring and liking the way he is taking charge, solemn-faced on his fingertips, leaning hard into his caretaker role.

— Thank you, she tells him. It will be her last sign for the day, Makkari offering him a smile of gratitude. Druig returns it immediately. His hands lift.

Of course, he says. Another pause and the next words makes her heart lurch and flip under her ribs, tightening and squeezing under the ghost of his fingers.

He says: What are best friends for?

(Read the full fic below here: )

#drukkari #druig #makkari #druig x makkari #makkari x druig #barry keoghan #lauren ridloff #eternals #fanfiction #tumblr prompt #tumblr asks #inbox

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jamesheartupdates · 2 months

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6 months and many breakdowns later... surgery is rescheduled

TL;DR: Surgery is now scheduled for Wednesday, February 21, 2024. James will have pre-op the day before. We'll keep updating here as we can!

The longer version...

Almost everything from the last post in August is still valid. It's still the third and final surgery for his "full repair" (called the "Fontan"). It's still not an "emergency" (although it does need to happen). And it's still happening at UVA hospital in Charlottesville (and we still live in Richmond, an hour away).

The biggest change is that James turned 4 in October! Also after having conversations with his cardiologist, the initial 2-4 week hospital recovery we were told to anticipate may be a little inflated. James is an all-star little patient and has recovered more quickly than average during his past two surgeries, so we're anticipating hospital recovery to be more around a week (or two, but you can never really know these things).

For a little background over the past several months, there have been many twists and turns since August. The August date was canceled due to low ICU staffing at the hospital. We planned again for October. We kept the boys out of daycare to prevent us from getting sick. We all got sick. We delayed surgery week by week as we continued to be sick. Then we decided to take a break from the madness as we entered into cold and flu season, and we would wait and try again in the spring.

It's not quite spring, but we're back at it again. We're anxious to have this surgery behind us, and we're hopeful James will feel relief for ailments he doesn't even realize he has (his oxygen saturation levels are in the low 80s currently, after surgery they'll be in the high 90s).

We took the boys out of daycare again and have been quarantining as much as possible in preparation for the surgery. It's important for James to not have an upper respiratory illness for the surgery and immediate recovery because his lungs need to be in tip top shape (something we didn't *fully* realize until our second attempt at the surgery in the fall).

The logistics, the considerations, the emotions, the stress — it's all a lot. We just keep telling ourselves and each other we're doing the best we can.

Here's what the next few days will look like:

We plan to tell James about the surgery today or tomorrow (the fun news is we also get to tell James he was accepted for Make A Wish, so he can choose something to look forward to after the surgery!).

Tuesday 2/20 we go to UVA for pre-op mid-morning to mid-afternoon (vitals, echo, blood draw, ultrasound, etc.), then we come home.

Wednesday 2/21 is surgery day, so Michael and I will take James SUPER EARLY to UVA. Surgery will be 6-8 hours (for those who this means anything to, it's a "beating heart" operation and he'll be on the pump for ~1-1.5 hrs). Michael and I have been in touch with the hospital about getting a room at the Ronald McDonald house — chances are it's full, and if it is, the hospital will provide a room at a hotel for us for 3 nights. Michael and I will be taking turns staying overnight with James at the hospital (they only let 1 adult overnight).

In the days that follow, someone will be with him around the clock (it's different having a newborn or 5 month old compared to a 4 year old!). He'll probably be in the ICU for a couple nights then go to the pediatric floor for the remaining days.

Another thing to note is that there are two heart transplant candidates that could move our surgery to Thursday or Friday, but the odds are still good that James's surgery will happen within the week. As long as we get through pre-op, surgery will definitely be within the week.

People have been asking how to support us, and most simply you can cheer us on however you prefer — thoughts, prayers, letters, song, dance, poem, etc. Some people have asked about meals, and we don’t have a meal train currently, but if you’d like to send an Uber Eats or Door Dash gift card or Venmo us (@ninarogers or @mikerogue) for a coffee, a meal or to just help with the extra costs that can come with traveling to and from the hospital and being out of our normal routine — that would be appreciated. Hopefully this will just be a short stint and not too disruptive for too long.

Last but not least, here are some cute pictures from the past few months 🥰 James is still our sweet, funny, sassy, spirited and curious little red head, and we love him so!

That's all for now! We'll post more (shorter) posts as we go. You can come here to stay updated!

Love, Nina (+ Michael, James & Gabe)

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colonoscopycostsingapore · 5 months

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Navigating the Path to Healing: The Best Stomach Cancer Treatments

Stomach cancer, also known as gastric cancer, is a formidable adversary that affects millions of people worldwide. The journey through diagnosis and treatment can be challenging, but advancements in medical science offer hope and effective strategies to combat this disease. In this blog, we'll explore some of the best stomach cancer treatments available today, highlighting both conventional and innovative approaches that are making a difference in the lives of patients.

Surgery: The Cornerstone of Treatment

Surgery remains a primary treatment option for stomach cancer, particularly in the early stages. The goal is to remove the cancerous tissue and, in some cases, nearby lymph nodes. Advances in surgical techniques, such as minimally invasive procedures and robotic-assisted surgery, have improved recovery times and reduced the impact on patients' quality of life.

Chemotherapy: Targeting Cancer Cells

Chemotherapy is a systemic treatment that uses drugs to destroy cancer cells. While it can have side effects, such as nausea and fatigue, it is a crucial component of stomach cancer treatment. Newer chemotherapy drugs and regimens are continually being developed, aiming to enhance efficacy and minimize adverse effects.

Radiation Therapy: Precision in Action

Radiation therapy utilizes high doses of radiation to target and kill cancer cells. Recent advancements in radiation technology, such as intensity-modulated radiation therapy (IMRT) and proton therapy, allow for more precise targeting of tumors while minimizing damage to healthy surrounding tissues.

Targeted Therapies: Personalized Medicine

Targeted therapies are designed to specifically target cancer cells, minimizing damage to normal cells. These therapies may include drugs that block specific molecules involved in cancer growth. Molecular testing helps identify the genetic changes within the cancer, enabling oncologists to tailor treatment plans to the unique characteristics of each patient's tumor.

Immunotherapy: Harnessing the Power of the Immune System

Immunotherapy has emerged as a groundbreaking treatment for various cancers, including stomach cancer. By boosting the body's immune response, immunotherapy helps the immune system recognize and attack cancer cells. Clinical trials are ongoing to explore the full potential of immunotherapy in treating stomach cancer.

Clinical Trials: Paving the Way for the Future

Participation in clinical trials offers patients access to cutting-edge treatments that may not yet be widely available. These trials contribute valuable data to the ongoing quest for more effective stomach cancer therapies, pushing the boundaries of medical science.

Comprehensive Care: Beyond Treatment

Addressing stomach cancer goes beyond medical treatments. Nutritional support, psychological counseling, and holistic care play integral roles in supporting patients throughout their journey. A multidisciplinary approach that considers the physical, emotional, and social aspects of health is essential for comprehensive cancer care.

Conclusion:

Stomach cancer treatment has evolved significantly in recent years, offering new hope for patients facing this challenging diagnosis. From surgical innovations to targeted therapies and immunotherapy, the arsenal against stomach cancer continues to expand. Patients and their loved ones must work closely with healthcare teams, stay informed about the latest advancements, and consider all available options to create personalized and effective treatment plans. As research progresses, the future holds promise for even more refined and successful approaches in the battle against stomach cancer.

Here you can find our original post:https://gallstoneremovalsingapore.blogspot.com/2023/11/navigating-path-to-healing-best-stomach.html

#Best Stomach Cancer Treatments #Best Stomach Cancer Treatments in Singapore #Stomach Cancer Treatments Singapore

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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SaL anon here friend wishing us luck for tonight but without a whole lot of hope. Do I think KR will allow Buck to discuss his PTSD with his best friend who JUST LAST SEASON started to recover from his own version of PTSD in a full circle type of storyline?? Obviously not while she is actively vying with RNM for the award for most emotional beats missed. But it sure does sound like it will be super fun 🙄🙄🙄!!! Good thing to because we'll need the emotional break from Bobby's distress over not being able to solve uh, Wexel...Kendall...his sponsor's death. Setup really is not KR's strong suit. But I'll enjoy my 1.5 minutes of Eddie, wherever they decide to shove him in, and just pray Buck's recovery doesn't somehow lead back to the accursed sperm donor arc. Cheers friend, we'll need it 🍷🍷🍷.

You said it all perfectly! Last week I was not expecting much especially on the Buddie front and was STILL entirely let down by the lack of firefam so safe to say I just have not paid much attention to what is supposed to happen this week just so I might be pleasantly surprised. But given that it's the "fun" part of the episode? I'm just very 🙄🙄🙄🙄 about it all right now. It'll be nice to see Buck actually getting to talk to his friends though! (He'd better actually get to talk to them because if aside from Hen it's all just a montage, Imma fight someone for real.)

I'm excited for Bobby to finally get SOMETHING to do (that isn't immediately undermined by forcing toxic parents into the narrative instead) but again, idk who this man even is so it's really hard to care about how much Bobby is affected by someone he's LITCHERALLY never spoken about before 6x09 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm watching the episode and then going home and to bed so I can drag myself to work tomorrow. Cheers friend, let's see what we get! At least we know Eddie will show up! (even if it's for .3 seconds to talk to someone else)

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers

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fitnessfreaklover · 1 year

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Beginning Bodybuilding: A Comprehensive Guide!

This series of articles is written for the beginning bodybuilder, someone who either has been training a very short time with some initial knowledge of weight training, but who is unsure of what they're doing, or someone just starting out.

BodyBuilding Secrets Revealed?

In my business, (I work in a retail vitamin store), I get customers all the time who come in looking for the magic supplement that will pack on pounds of muscle overnight. When I begin to question their training, eating, etc., I discover they've been training maybe 3-4 weeks; they train every day (sometimes I get a guy who says twice a day), they have no clue about protein intake, calorie intake, recovery, and on top of all that, the routine they use is anything but logical for their experience level. This extremely common!

What happens then is we lose these trainees because they have no guidance, they're grossly overtraining and they burn out. There's no reason for this! With this series of articles, I hope to give people a logical guide to their first year of training. By getting them off to a good start, maybe they'll stick around for awhile.

Walking into a gym to work-out for the first time can be intimidating, especially if you don't have proper guidance. Many new lifters either find themselves in that situation or are just training at home on some flimsy bench with a bar and a few plates. So, mistakes are common. Mistakes in terms of the exercises you're doing, how long you work out each day, how many days per week, the exercise form you're using, not to mention your eating habits.

The first order of business should be to set some goals. What do you want to do? Why are you working out in the first place? Most people want to build some size, maybe to compete or maybe just to impress some girl.

Many people want to lose fat and tighten up, adding some but not a lot of muscle. Regardless of the goal, however, you have to go into it with some kind of plan.

With all the tons of information sources out there today, there is really no reason not to have a good, basic idea of what to do. Not like in my day, when info was limited and hard to come by. None the less, we'll cover some of these basic concepts and things now.

BASIC CONCEPTS

What to expect—most new bodybuilders, regardless of age, get into it after seeing a picture of some current/past bodybuilder. Of course, you want to look like the person in the picture. Be realistic, and strive to be the best you that you can be.

The top guys have strong genetics and, yes, drugs on their side. That doesn't mean you can't build good size, maybe even compete. Just be realistic about your goals. So, just what can you expect in terms of gains?

Everyone is different, with different lifestyles, and age plays a big role, so exact numbers are impossible to quote, but most new lifters see impressive strength and size gains in their first six months or so of training.

In terms of actual gains, depending on the factors listed above, maybe 12-15 lbs. of muscle, 15 lbs. being on the high end. This assumes you are natural, by the way. Drugs are a personal choice, but my experience is as a natural bodybuilder, so I'm not going to pretend to know a lot about how steroids affect your gains. Having said that, it makes sense to at least be aware of what they are and what they do, purely from a knowledge standpoint. There are enough knowledge resources available on line that you can learn about them if you choose to pursue that option.

YOUR FIRST ROUTINE

The classic 3-days a week, full-body routine, training Monday-Wednesday-Friday, is of little use beyond getting a feel for the exercises and working on form. Why? Because this type of routine allows for next to no recovery, once you start training hard.

Right now, right at the beginning, is when you want to understand how critical proper recovery is. Growth cannot occur if you are not recovering from your workouts, regardless of your level of experience. Recovery does not happen from hitting the gym 6 days a week for hours on end, something I'll talk about when I discuss common mistakes.

The above routine is useful as discussed, and should be used for the first month, to allow the development of good form, rep performance and getting a feel for what exercise works what muscles. By the start of the second month, you should use a split routine, this will allow you to train harder and to use more exercises, and this type of routine enhances recovery significantly.

SETS AND REPS

The first month, after warm-ups, 2-3 sets per body part is good. Reps at this stage are 10-12 per set.

WEIGHT

Your first month is more about learning how to perform the exercises correctly, so you should be using a weight that easily allows you to hit the prescribed 10-12 reps, with maybe 1-2 tough reps at the end.

Trial and error with weights really is an easy and somewhat fast way to get started—expect your first session to be one of trying different weight to determine comfortable working poundages. There are, of course, more accurate but more complicated ways to determine starting weights but this method works well enough.

PYRAMIDING

Pyramiding refers to starting with an easy warm-up set with light weight, hitting 15 easy reps. Add weight and decrease the reps over 1-2 more sets ( I like to use 3 warm-up sets) until you arrive at your first "working set," the first set where you are training with your required reps, in the example, 8 reps.

This set, seeing as how you are a beginner, should still be easy, but the last 1-2 reps should be a little tough to complete.

Example:

Set #1 = 15 reps

Set #2 = 12 reps

Set #3 = 10 reps

Set #'s 4-5 = 8 reps

Pyramiding will be introduced along with split routines in the second month.

PROGRESSIVE RESISTANCE

One of the basic tenets of weight lifting: you must either add weight, add sets, increase intensity or decrease rest time to encourage continued progress. At this stage, adding weight makes the most sense and will be recommended throughout the first 6 months or so. But by the very nature of acquiring experience, you'll also be adding sets. Decreasing rest time and the use of intensity techniques is used as you reach strength plateaus, when you are more advanced.

REST BETWEEN SETS

At first, you may find you need 2-3 minutes between sets, working down to 1 minute is ideal. As you get in better shape, you may find you need even less. A good rule of thumb is to rest just long enough to catch your breath.

REP TEMPO/PERFORMANCE

You want to take a few seconds (2-3) to raise the weight, and a few seconds to lower it, slow and controlled, not just heaving it up there any way you can and then letting the bar drop back to the start position.

You can pause at the top for 1 second and squeeze the muscle being worked, this may help develop a sense of what muscles are doing what during each exercise. There is more than one way to perform a rep, and there are numerous tempos you can use, but for now, follow the above.

MIND-MUSCLE LINK

This refers to the idea of being able to feel the muscle being worked. This requires being in touch with your body and the functions of your muscles. Take the time to look at anatomy, you should know what each muscle is called and what it does, and you should try to flex these muscles to get a feel for each one.

As you work out, think about that muscle and it's function. Try to focus on the muscle as your going through your sets. In time, you will have no problem "connecting" with the muscle you are working.

FORM

Proper performance of every exercise is critical. Doing an exercise with poor form can easily lead to injuries, and can limit your progress. The point is to make the target muscles work hard, not just heave the weight around however you happen to do it.

Bodybuilding.com has complete descriptions and video demonstrations of every exercise I'll list in the upcoming "routines" sections, so take the time to watch them and take the time to work on proper execution with a light weight.

If you have a training partner, they can help you get your form down. The time spent now will lead to much better long term results with a much smaller chance of injury.

TRAINING DIARY

From day 1, you should keep a log of your exercises, weight used, reps and sets performed, time the workout started and ended, and how it felt: was this set or that set hard, too easy, how did the exercise seem to feel. This is your guidebook that allows you to chart progress from workout to workout.

BREATHING

Don't hold your breath! To start, breathe in on the downward part of an exercise and breathe out on the upward part. As time goes on and you gain experience, breathing will take care of itself.

EXERCISE SELECTION

Most of the exercises that should make up your initial training are called compound, or basic, exercises. These are exercises that involve more than one muscle group, such as the squat, deadlift and bench press. This is in contrast to isolation exercises which only work one muscle at a time, such as dumbbell flyes (chest), concentration curls (biceps) and side laterals (side deltoid head).

STRETCHING

It makes sense to stretch both before your workout and in between sets. This helps improve flexibility, helps keep your muscles warm and pliable, and can aid in recovery after your workouts.

Bodybuilding.com has useful stretching guides you can refer to for ideas for each muscle. One thing I always do is simply hang from the chin bar for a moment or two, then go on to other, muscle specific stretches.

VARIETY IN TRAINING

The idea of changing your routine after a certain time to prevent staleness. A good rule of thumb is that after 4 weeks, it's time to do something new, as you will have gotten all you can from your current routine. However, certain key exercises should always be there—squats, deadlifts, to name two.

SORENESS

Muscle soreness is a common side effect to working out. It subsides as part of the recovery process. Delayed-onset muscle soreness is the most common type of soreness and occurs 24-72 hours after training. This is why rest days are important, to allow soreness to disappear before training again. In fact, if you are scheduled to train and are still sore, take an extra day off.

ROUTINE 1: MONTH 1

Perform on Monday/Wednesday/Friday. Time of day doesn't matter. If those days do not work, adjust to your schedule, as long as you work out every other day or no more than 2 days in between.

Squats: 2 warm-up sets, 15-20 reps, 2 working sets, 12 reps. The squat is considered by many to be the best over-all exercise out there—it hits, either directly or indirectly, most of the muscles of the body. Primarily, it will work the legs, but your lower back will also come into play as well.

Deadlifts: 2 warm-up sets, 15 reps, 2 working sets, 10 reps. This is like the squat, working many muscles of the body at once, but primarily a back exercise.

Chin-ups (or Lat Pull-downs): As many chin-ups as you can do, or 2 sets of pull-downs for 12 reps The key here is to begin the pull with your lats, not your arms. This is an important part of back training and you want to think about it from Day 1.

Barbell Curls: 1 set, 12-15 reps. Don't swing the weight up, let your biceps pull it up.

Bench Press: 2 warm-up sets, 15 reps, 2 working sets, 10-12 reps. This can be a hard exercise to feel for some people, as this hits the front delts and triceps pretty hard as well as the chest. You have to think about the muscle being worked, in time you will feel the exercise there.

Seated Overhead Press: 2 sets, 12 reps this works mostly front and side deltoids.

Triceps Extensions: 1 set, 10 reps. Let your triceps push the weight, if you feel this in the elbows, adjust where your elbows are—bring them a little closer to your head, or move them out a little.

Crunch: 2 sets, 15 reps.

print Click Here For A Printable Log Of Routine #1 - Month #1.

PERFORMANCE TIPS

If you need to see how an exercise is performed, you can watch the exercise videos on Bodybuilding.com, I highly recommend this. Now is the time to take the time to learn good habits—do the exercises the right way, learn to feel the muscles each movement is supposed to be working.

Don't learn sloppy habits. Use this routine for one month. As you feel comfortable with the exercise performance and the sets seem easy, begin adding weight in small increments, such as 5 lbs. If you can add more, do so.

CARDIO

If fat loss is your primary goal, you'll need to add some cardio to your program. To start, I would use a simple program of 20 minutes 3 times a week and gradually build up to longer sessions and perhaps one extra session a week.

Use whatever cardio equipment you like, a treadmill is a great choice. You can help the time pass by listening to music or watching TV. Try to do cardio either after weights or first thing in the morning.

If you do it in the morning, have a small protein source prior to doing cardio but don't have any carbs. This will help the body burn fat for fuel. Refer to my Beginner's Guide To Losing Body Fat article for more detailed information on this subject.

BASIC NUTRITION

One of the most misunderstood areas for new bodybuilders is nutrition. I talk to guys all the time that have no idea of their daily calorie intake, their daily protein intake, their carbohydrate intake. They have no idea of what types of foods they should be eating, or when they should be eating them. They don't know what supplements do what and what they should using. Let me refer readers to some of my other articles that detail these areas.

In this article, I will highlight the important points. First, refer to the following two articles: Beginning Nutrition and Supplement Stacks for Size. Now, you must be sure your calorie intake is adequate and your protein intake is high enough.

Your protein intake should be 1 to 1.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight. Take this total and divide by 6, this is the number of meals you need to eat every day. By meals, I don't mean 6 five-course feasts. I mean smaller meals. You should be eating every 3 hours, 2-3 meals can be a protein shake and a low fat, low sugar sports or granola bar. A meal like this works great if you're in a hurry.

SAMPLE FOOD LISTS

Protein:

Lean beef

Chicken

Turkey

Fish

Low-fat dairy (such as skim milk, or eggs using 2-3 whites to 1 yolk)

Carbohydrate:

Oatmeal

Brown rice

Sweet potatoes

Multi- or whole-grain breads (in moderation)

Pre- and post-work out, you want simple carbs, such as fruit or yogurt, these are usually combined with protein powder as part of a shake.

Fats:

Cold water fish

Sunflower seeds

Almonds

Walnuts

Peanuts

Canola oil

Safflower oil

These lists do not include every single food choice but represent a well rounded group of food items.

SAMPLE MEAL PLAN

Here's a sample meal plan for one day:

Breakfast:

Omelet: 1 yolk to 2 egg whites

Oatmeal

1 scoop protein shake

Mid Morning Snack:

2 scoops protein shake

1 granola bar

Lunch:

Lean beef on whole-grain bread

Veggies

Water

Midday Snack:

2 scoops protein shake

1 granola bar

Dinner:

Lean meat

Sweet potato

Salad

Water

Evening Snack:

2 scoops protein shake

1 granola bar

Or protein pudding

CALORIES

Serving sizes should be based on your appetite, you should never be over full when done eating but should be satisfied. Daily calorie intake should be based on the following formula: which takes into account your metabolism and activity level. Here's what you do:

Body weight x 10 (men) or 9 (women) x activity factor x metabolism level.

Activity factor is determined like this:

Sedentary lifestyle (sitting a lot, no real exercise) = 1.1

Mildly active - standing at work, 2-3 workouts a week = 1.2

Very active = 1.3

Metabolism level is determined like this:

Fast metabolism = 1.1

Average = 1.0

Slow = .9

Here's an example for a 170lb man:

170x10 = 1700 x 1.2 (mildly active) = 2040 x .9 (slow metabolism) = 1836 calories per day.

For this same man, let's assume he has a faster metabolism and is more active:

170 x 10 = 1700 x 1.3 = 2210 x 1.1 = 2431 calories per day.

This formula determines what you need to maintain your current weight. If you want to add muscle, take your base calorie intake and add 500 quality calories a day, divided over your 6 meals. When adding calories, monitor how the extra calories effect your physique. Pay attention to your midsection, you want to gain muscle, not fat.

If fat loss is your goal, decrease calories by about 500 per day. Be careful to reduce carb intake after dinner, and keep an eye on your sugar intake, really the only time you should have any type of sugary or fast carb is in the morning and around your workout. Read my article A Beginner's Guide To Losing Body Fat for more detail on this.

PRE/POST-WORKOUT

On training days, you should make two additions to your eating plan: a pre/during workout drink and a post workout shake. One of the newer concepts in supplementation is the idea of a carb/protein drink that you can have leading up to and during the workout.

An example of this might be Gatorade with a packet of Amino Vital. Probably the most common example is a carb drink like Vitargo mixed with protein and maybe creatine. This keeps you in an anabolic state while training, which speeds up recovery and can promote faster gains.

Many people use a pre workout energy drink based around caffeine/creatine/nitric oxide. This is good to, provided you don't mind the caffeine buzz.

Since I work out late, I don't want the caffeine but I do want the "volumizing" effects of this drink plus the anabolic effects of the other drink, so I mix Gatorade with a creatine/nitric oxide/glutamine/BCAA powder. This works well and powers me through my workout. After training, within about 20-30 minutes, have a protein shake with fruit mixed in as discussed in the "supplements" section. This further helps recovery and growth.

BASIC SUPPLEMENTS

The cornerstone supplements are protein powder, a good multivitamin/mineral, and creatine. You can add a lot to this but these are the three most important.

PROTEIN POWDER

Protein powder is important as a convenient and easy source of protein, if you can't make it to a meal or are unable to eat a sit down meal, say at work or school, a quick shake can be a life saver.

It's important to have a post-workout shake—30-40 grams of simple carbs with the same in protein, within 20-30 minutes of training. This jump starts the whole recovery/growth process. There are various types of protein out there, as well as several " formula" powders.

As far as protein, whey protein is the highest quality available and it's also digested quickly. Currently, milk, or casein protein is popular because it's slow digesting, this is good if you can't have a shake as often as you'd like or before going to bed.

There are also protein blends out there that combine whey, milk, soy for the same reason—to be slow digesting. "Formula" powders include products like Muscle Milk—a blend of milk protein and mct's, and a little more carbs than usual. Syntha-6 is another of this type of product.

MULTIVITAMINS

A multivitamin is taken for insurance purposes, you will not make as much progress if you're lacking in key nutrients. Look for a natural vitamin product, nothing synthetic or artificial. I prefer higher potencies, especially in the B's and C. Look for at least 50mg. Of the B vitamins and at least 300 mg. of vitamin C.

CREATINE

Creatine is a time tested product important for energy and volumizing—this means it can cause the muscles to swell in size. Many current products revolve around this concept. There are many different types of creatine out there, they all, of course, claim to be the best. I like the original creatine monohydrate by itself, this needs to be mixed with a sugary drink, I use Gatorade.

OTHERS

A basic stack like this is a good starting point in the use of supplements. As time goes on, you can add to this as your goals and budget dictates. For fat loss, I would use a Thermogenic product such as Lipo 6 or Hydroxycut. The concept of these types of products goes way back and are time tested and proven.

CONCLUSION

In the next section, we'll move into new routines as well as information on setting up a home gym. The series will end with an in depth glossary of terms.

#Bodybuildinghelper #bodybuilder

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lauribrubakergb · 1 year

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Ronaldo: I never agree that Rangnick is the boss

On November 16, the full first half of Ronaldo’s interview with Piers Morgan was released. It mainly talked about returning to Manchester United, infrastructure, young players, and his views on Solskjaer, Rangnick, Ten Hag and others:

How close are Manchester City to signing you?

Very recently, two weeks before the transfer to Manchester United, I was surprised that Guardiola contacted me, they wanted to try to complete the transfer.

But then Manchester United came in and changed all that, you know what I did at Manchester United, it made all the difference in an instant, my relationship with Ferguson, my heart told me I should come back to Manchester United, it was prudent Decide.

Ferguson's role in it?

I spoke to him before going back to Manchester United and he said I could go to Manchester City and I said, well, boss. So I made the decision to go back to Manchester United, I reiterate, I was very cautious about it, so it was a great decision.

Breaking Messi's 24-hour jersey sales record after return?

Of course, I have to admit that I am very happy. I'm not chasing the record, the record is chasing me, it's just another entry in my record book.

Manchester United's infrastructure problems

To be honest, when I came back to Manchester United, I thought everything would change. After all, it has been 13 years, I played nine years at Real Madrid and three years at Juventus.

When I came to the club, I thought I would see a lot of new technology, new equipment, but I was surprised, everything was bad. The reason I say this is that these things are not different from when I left in the first place.

In my opinion, Manchester United have made zero progress. Both Real Madrid and Juventus are improving, and their technology, especially in terms of training, diet, and physical recovery, is getting better than before. I think Manchester United is behind now, I thought, it should be the top in the industry, but unfortunately, Manchester United is not. They're not at that level, but I expect them to be at the top level in the next few years.

About Solskjaer

I love him very much. He is an excellent person. I think he is someone who can really be in my heart and is worth entrusting. For me, he's a great guy, it's been a difficult role to lead Manchester United after Ferguson, but I think he's done a good job.

He needs more time, but I never doubted he would be a good coach. I'm happy to be able to work with him, even if the time is a little short.

About Rangnick

I had never heard of him before he came to Manchester United. But, of course, I respect him, we gotta call him BOSS, because he's got the job anyway. All the coaches in my career, I will call them BOSS. If they do the job, that's what we'll call them.

But deep down inside of me, I never identified with him as a BOSS because I saw something from him that I never agreed with.

About respect

I respect any coach and any different methods, opinions, and mentality, but respect does not mean that I will agree unconditionally. I have always been like this in my life, Zidane, Ancelotti, Mourinho, Santos, Allegri… I have experienced some of the best coaches in the world and I will learn from them, so I have some experience.

Rangnick may have communicated well with the club, but they are not in the team and don't know the history of the team. That's why when you sack Solskjaer, you should hire a new top manager, not a sporting director.

About Ten Hag

I knew a little bit about him before he took over Manchester United.

There are still a few hours before Piers Morgan released the interview video of Ronaldo. Manchester Evening News' Manchester United and team reporter Samuel Luckhurst updated the reaction of the Carrington base. Critics feel sad, thinking that Ronaldo's description does not match the facts, and Manchester United will still regard Ronaldo as a legendary player of the club, and hope that the two sides can break up peacefully instead of choosing a confrontational approach.

According to Samuel Luckhurst's report, Carrington's staff were puzzled by Ronaldo's criticism because they had renovated the Carrington base and updated the swimming pool equipment that Ronaldo specifically requested. Nowadays, Manchester United increasingly believes that Ronaldo has played the last game for Manchester United, but Manchester United will still respect Ronaldo's legendary status and hope to break up with Ronaldo peacefully.

Especially with regard to the transfer turmoil of Ronaldo in the summer window this year, cab주소 thinks that the management of Manchester United is even more commendable in dealing with Ronaldo. On the one hand, they have given Ronaldo enough respect, and they are declaring that Ronaldo is absent because of family affairs. In the preseason, when Ronaldo asked for a transfer, Arnold announced to the media that Ronaldo was not for sale, but respected Ronaldo's legendary status and authorized Mendes to contact other clubs. After all, when Ronaldo and Manchester United still have a one-year contract, it is a violation of the rules for Ronaldo's agent to contact other clubs.

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electrictoes · 2 years

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so seeing now the photo stills from tonight episode Amanda is back at work already???! I am confused at the timeline at this point because we know she was shot on Sept. 16th, now unless they're like, in November (and that's already be generous with her recovery time because jfc a shot in the abdomen is a bitch to recover from) how can she be already back full duty? because they don't look like to be in the middle of Nov they're wearing light jackets at best and doesn't make any sense for the second episode to be based in Nov. Unless, which I find even weirder, this episode happens BEFORE the shooting? but I don't really think so. ugh who knows!

And also, if she's back to work and we all saw her a few days ago too still filming while being a detective, why on earth she decide to leave after coming back from the shooting? what will prompt her to decide to stop working at svu after being back for a while/few months? the only thing that I kind of fear (because I didn't want it to be played like that if it would have come to it, but way better) is a pregnancy announce in the last episodes and like, now she's scared to be shot again and also she's older so it's an already at-risk-pregnancy bla bla bla. I hope it's something else and planned better at least, Kelli deserves it as much. I don't know, we'll see tonight in which time date we are lol

I think the mothership screwed up the timeline because in the episode Liv specifically says "six weeks", so my guess is she was actually shot in mid-August and the timeline's off. This message was sent pre-episode so you probably already know how it was played out - it seems like she's on some sort of light duties, at least. And honestly now I'm back to thinking the pregnancy storyline is less likely -which is my preference, so maybe I'm projecting. But it felt like the seeds were sown for Amanda dealing with her trauma, that growing over time, and for her thinking about how much more she has to lose now, with the girls and with Sonny - I think (hope) we're heading for a career change that doesn't compromise her happiness. Maybe to another unit, maybe to some sort of victim advocacy. Having watched the new episode I have renewed faith in the writers, particularly as David Graziano seems to be handling the characters with real heart, and hopefully they'll write the ending she deserves - we already know Kelli will deliver, whatever they give her.

#anon #ask #svu #amanda rollins #svu24 #svu spoilers

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tadpole-san · 3 years

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okay, its time for me to break down the season three trailer for titans

leading on bruce "using fear to control everyone" - we see parallels to jonathan crane on that one right away, and we know that he will be one of the Big Bads going in to the season, and I’m guessing the guy who’s calling Bruce a psychopath using fear is (ironically) Jonathan crane himself. Dick goes to him for messed up therapy it looks like????

interestingly enough, this also is a call back to Under the Red Hood - "You wanna rule them by fear, but what do you do with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out." Sound familiar?

Seems this isn't the only Under the Red Hood reference we'll be getting. In this shot of Jason that we see of him approaching the crime lords of Gotham, this also parallels with a scene of him doing the exact same thing as in Under the Red Hood. It's starting to look like the Red Hood storyline will be more or less the comic and movie getting live-action adapted

JOKER BEATING JASON TO DEATH CONFIRMED?

Okay hear me out i know this seemed like it would obviously happen, but there were a lot of realistic reasons that it seemed like titans would shy away from this approach - for all that it has established itself as a very adult show, the nuances of displaying such a thing so graphicly (I use that term loosely, because this is still a very vague silhouette, albeit with very clear sound effects) especially when it is involving a character who is supposed to be a teenager on the younger side is VERY tricky and if you watched the trailer, the sound of it alone is very harrowing

Looks like Tim is going to be sort of taking on some of Duke’s backstory, maybe we’ll even see the We Are Robin campaign as it is established I believe that they adjusted his story to make him like a kid from the narrows because for some reason we csnt have a black kid who comes from a rich Gotham family (but that’s a rant for another day)

Bruce is also stepping down from the Batman mantle it looks like? So here’s hoping we follow comics canon and Tim pulls him back from that

Hot take though: we probably won’t see Tim as Robin until next season unless Titans does a strange timeskip (which it also looks like they’ll do). My guesses are either a timeskip between episode one or two, or a timeskip in episode one form the get go after about a quarter of it is spent establishing Gotham’s regression when Jason dies. Logistically, I want to say that at least half a year or even a full year (or more) would pass before he becomes the red hood? So the question is how long the Titans will be in Gotham before that

Dick is set to take the Batman mantle??? Which I’m kinda bummed out about because we barely got Nightwing last season and it would be nicer to see him get comfortable in that persona, rather than have him grapple with the cowl and the idea of being Batman. We saw that enough in the season two flashback episodes

Hawk and dove on their same BS again. Not much to say there

Kory???? ARE YOU OKAY????? Because by the looks of it the fear toxin got our queen kind of good, or it could be Blackfire’s influence on her??? Disappointingly, not much was revealed for the blackfire storyline even though she’s legitimately a bigger threat than the Red Hood

ALSO the “red hood is a biblical brother” like could be a reference to how he and scarecrow teamed up in Arkham Knight (if I’m not mistaken), so there’s a chance that rather than actually “dying”, Jason is just presumed dead bc theyre taking things in a more Arkham Knight direction (I hope they don’t, that was even more brutal than his OG death in the comics)

Or “biblical brother” could be crane talking about Jason’s relationship to dick, who he seems to know somewhat personally. With the red hood vs Nightwing snippet we got, it could be a cain vs Abel situation, and this further implies that crane knows their secret IDs

RAVEN WHITE SUIT!!! Very nostalgic for those Teen Titans watchers back in the day, and it looks like it’s some sort of Amazonian armor too? Like in teen Titans, this could be a signifier that she’s coming to terms with her powers and who she is as her father’s daughter

We didn’t get much Gar content, but by the looks of it our boy is once again saddled with the responsibility when all the adults go to play. With the timeskip it’s likely we won’t see his recovery form the aftermath of Cadmus :/ but at least I hope we get his reaction to Jason’s death? Because they were really tight next season and that’s a friendship that should be explored more

Speaking of teen Titans looks - kory’s eyes glowing full green in the trailer? About time we got over her powers being blocked

No scenes of Kory and dick yet in the trailer, which is atrocious. A lot of dick and babe, and I can’t be the only comic book reader that’s sick of the dick and Kory and Babs love triangle. Let him be with Kory. PLEASE.

Interestingly enough, no rose in the trailer. Not sure if she’s confirmed to be in the season, but fingers crossed that the toxic romance from last season is put on hold

Overall the season looks really strong, but I’m still going in skeptical that they’ll sideline a lot of POC characters - kory, blackfire, gar, Tim - but it’s shaping up to be one of the best seasons so far for Titans. There’s definitely a lot more to unpack that I might do in a part two or a later post!

#📦#tadpole croaks #📰.dc #titans #dick grayson #Jason todd #bruce wayne #blackfire #hbo max #Tim drake #starfire

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free--therapy · 3 years

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Developing A Personal Recovery Plan - Part 1

It's important to come up with some idea as to how you want to establish your roadmap to recovery, growth, and personal development. A lot of us may not know where to even begin, what to include, and how to execute it. This guide will help to give you an idea as to what to include in your own recovery plan. It will help you to figure out everything you need to come up with and establish in order for it to serve as your roadmap on the journey towards recovery and healing. This will be done in a step-by-step matter as to not overwhelm you!

What Makes the Personal Recovery Plan Successful?

We Can't Change Everything All At Once

It's so important to keep in mind how easy it is to get overwhelmed when we want to make such a huge change all at once in our lives. It sounds good, no doubt, but it can be a daunting task. The journey will seem longer than we expect and it's so easy for us to want to get to the end of that journey as soon as we embark on it. We have to keep in mind that recovery happens in small steps. Healing is also not a linear journey and we may have days where we feel we make leaps and bounds, and others where we feel like we've taken 10 steps back. It's so important to be realistic with our expectations and to be patient with ourselves.

Be Okay with Making Difficult Decisions and Setting Priorities

In order to move forward with where we are to where we want to be, we have to get comfortable with having to make difficult decisions. Healing comes with a lot of discomfort, but there's a lot of growth on the other side.

Sometimes we end up being forced to give up our power when it comes to other people. Often times we like it when other people make decisions for us because we often feel we're not well equipped with making those decisions or we're scared we'll make the wrong ones. We have to remember that our lives are our own responsibility and we have to take charge of it. At the end of the day, we still know what's best for us, not anyone else. Self-responsibility is the core of recovery and healing! It's time for us to take the leap and take charge of ourselves--go from dependency to independency. We have full control of ourselves and our destiny. It's time to be brave.

If you're not used to making your own decisions or haven't done it in a while, doing so will definitely feel scary, uncomfortable, or strange. Despite this, you have to push forward on your journey and it's going to get uncomfortable. You got to be okay with being uncomfortable from here on out. You have to start first by setting goals for yourself, your recovery, and your future. This is definitely another daunting task since you likely feel hopeless and like there may not be a future for you to look forward to or one you never anticipated living long enough to even care to plan for, but the whole point of healing is to have hope for something better. Having hope is key to recovery since it'll be what motivates you to strive for better for yourself and will be the driving force to make sure you're committed to staying on track. If you want to overcome your mental illness, you already have hope! Goals can be as simple as being able to write in a journal a few times a week to reflect on the healing journey; it could be wanting to find out why you have a specific phobia and what events in the past may have contributed to it; it could be dismantling a negative thought pattern or cognitive distortion you may have; or just overcoming depression in general! The sky is the limit and no goal is too big or too small to attain. Make a list and write everything all down. You may find that as you work towards certain goals, you'll have to break them down into digestible bite-sized pieces in order to accomplish each bigger goal or add more to the list to get to where you want to be. This is okay and positively encouraged.

After coming up with a list of goals for your recovery plan, you have to then figure out what is most important to you on this journey and make sure you invest most of your energy behind each choice you end up making. You have the power to make decisions and to achieve whatever it is that you set your mind to, no matter what. No matter what kind of goals you may have in mind, you have to learn to put them in order of what is most important to you, or what things need to be accomplished first before getting to the even bigger ones or the more long-term ones.

How do you start to prioritize them? You can either start by choosing which of your goals seem interesting to you, which ones uphold your personal values, which ones will reflect and embolden your strengths, which ones you're most passionate about, which ones bring you closer to your overall vision in life, which ones seem like the next best thing to do, or which ones are easiest to achieve first, just to get them out of the way. Another way you can choose an order is to start to analyze each one by applying some specific criteria set up by yourself and then assign each goal a number in terms of which should be accomplished in what order. There is no one way of doing this and even though some goals are next up on the list, others may be accomplished sooner or later than originally intended. Learn to be flexible and open to this happening.

When you haven't had many experiences in seeing your options while looking forward, decision-making can be a little rocky at first. Often times you feel like you can't trust yourself to make the right decision because of the lack of experience, or perhaps you're just afraid of failing, or you don't know how to listen to your intuition quite yet. The more you practice making decisions and seeing the results of making said decisions, the more you'll be able to get better at it and increase your confidence in yourself because you'll get a better idea of how you can move yourself forward. You have to learn not to be afraid of making mistakes either because they can always been seen as learning opportunities. It's always so important for you to continue to get up after every time you fall and to inspect what went wrong instead of feeling discouraged. You need to learn to make decisions with your mind, heart, and intuition.

"Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them." --Robert R. Updegraff

Adapted from Pathways to Recovery: A Strengths Recovery Self-Help Workbook by Priscilla Ridgway, Diane McDiarmid, Lori Davidson, Julie Bayes, Sarah Ratzlaff.

Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

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askultimateluckytrash · 3 years

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They pulled him out of the Neo World Program abruptly.

For a second, smashed back into his own body against his will, dazed and confused, he staggered and swayed and had no idea where he was or who he was. For a blissful moment, he was nameless with no past and no present. But the illusion was shattered soon enough.

They berated him, but he didn't even hear it. Their words pummeled against his ears, swollen and distorted like he was underwater. He didn't remember what they said. Why did he care? He felt so horrible already. Surely these people who he didn't like and didn't know couldn't possibly make him feel any worse.

They took him to a hospital bed and made a full examination. For the most part, aside from the big bump on his head, he was unharmed. A full recovery. No adverse side-effects, mentally or physically. What bad luck.

They made him wait in the hospital for a while. Then they pulled him from the room and made him wait in a lobby. Then they took him to a therapist, who asked him a bunch of questions, and he gave the best answers he could, dazed as he still was. They took him to a different lobby. He awaited punishment.

Part of him hoped that they would simply put him back in the Neo World Program, though he knew that wasn't likely. What else could they do? Would he have to stay here for another 6 months of therapy, like before? He wouldn't mind that too much. The island was beautiful, and therapy at least gave him something to do every day, if nothing else. Or would he go to prison this time? Was his clemency finally at its limit? Prison wouldn't be so bad either. He would get chores to do every day, and be distracted with a strict schedule.

Either way, he would still be gone. That was what he wanted. That was what they didn't understand. He wanted to be gone. Anything they did to him, so long as they didn't send him back home, would still feed into his goals.

He wanted to be gone. He wanted to be completely severed from his life and his identity, his friends, his past, his disappointing future, his expectations, his responsibilities, his crimes, his guilt, all the people he was hurting, all the things they expected of him, his name and personality, his memories...everything about his life. He wanted it gone.

The easiest way to do that, of course, was dying. But he couldn't do that. He had made so many promises to so many people-- which was something else that he wanted to escape. Why was there so much pressure on him to live?

But he hated his life, and all he wanted was to end it. If he couldn't die, he could still end his own life, right? If he severed himself from it completely. Gave up everything, broke it all off, and ran away from everything that made up 'his life'. At least he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of living it anymore, even if he couldn't completely erase it from his mind.

If they sent him to prison, he wouldn't have to be 'Nagito Komaeda' anymore. He would just be another faceless criminal, with his sole life being harmless jail chores and a rigid schedule. Nothing about Despair, or the Neo World Program, or the 77th class, or Hajime Hinata. And if he stayed here, well...this place might still be connected to his old life, but at least he wouldn't have to see his classmates here, or see Hajime, or be forced to think about his miserable future and be forced to do work to take the steps to make it there. As if a future that tortuous could possibly be worth even sticking around to see, let alone doing so much work for. It was so tiring, and all for what? For more torture. More pain. At least if he didn't go home, he didn't have to face the future.

He waited. The more he thought about his punishments, the more his head cleared a bit. Either of those was a good option. Already, he was planning how to make himself at home in prison or here. Planning what to do afterwards. Move someplace else, buy a small house, and live out the rest of his days in bored, lonely obscurity? With no one knowing who he was or where their annoying, hated classmate Nagito Komaeda had gone. The idea of the misery gave him pleasure. This will be your punishment, so you can stop feeling so guilty. You'll be truly miserable, but at least this time, you won't get your hopes up just to have them shattered. At least this time, you won't have to see all the faces of all the people you hurt, and love them knowing that they hate you.

Or maybe they would give him the death penalty, and he could die without knowing that he was letting everybody down.

When they delivered the final verdict to him, he nearly fainted.

"What?" He mumbled, his voice numb with disbelief.

They repeated their instructions, but he still couldn't register it.

"What do you mean?" He shook his head, getting to his feet a little unsteadily.

"We'll send someone to the hotel to pack your things for you, and then meet us at the airport for your flight home." The employee explained, glancing at a clipboard he was holding.

Nagito blinked again. "Home?" He stalled a little and his voice cracked. "You're just...sending me home?"

Maybe he didn't sound as thrilled as he should have. The two employees exchanged confused glances. "Yes. It will be good for you."

"No." He disagreed calmly, shaking his head. "I don't want to go back."

"You have to." They insisted. "The Future Foundation thinks this will be the safest--"

"I don't want to go home." He said firmly, shaking his head again. "Don't make me go back home. Send me somewhere else. I'll pay for it." He clasped his hands together, crushing his palm between his fingers. The idea of going back home was suffocating.

"This is where the Future Foundation wants you." The employee matched his tone. "That's where you have to go."

He grimaced a little. The idea of going back there-- it made his stomach turn. That place is a prison. Don't make me go back there. He could feel his hands starting to shake, so he squished them harder. "I don't...want to." That was the only argument he could give them. How could they possibly understand in any form of words what it felt like to be at home? But he knew that wouldn't be enough. They wouldn't listen to him. They would pack him up and ship him back anyway...He'd rather have gone to prison. Would it have been much different?

The employee shook his head, making it clear that Nagito wasn't going to get his way. "We're sending someone to pack up your things right now. We'll meet them at the airport." He put a hand on Nagito's arm and began to pull him forward.

Nagito wanted to resist. He started to pull away feebly, out of instinct, and let off a nearly - silent whimper, but he knew there was no getting out of it. He had no right to get out of it. Didn't he have to face the consequences of his horrible actions just like everyone else? He stumbled forward numbly, slipping into a daze again as the employee tugged him along.

The thought of going home was suffocating. Going back to that place, that house, with all those wonderful memories that were past and gone. Seeing the rooms where he used to be so happy with his family and knowing he would never have that again. He would never have a family, or be safe, or be loved. And seeing Hajime again was equally crushing. He'd be angry and disappointed and hurt, and he'd take it all out on Nagito with his withering looks, his telling silences, a few well-placed comments here and there. Nagito would have to look at the face of the person who used to be his best friend and his hope and know that what he dreamed of was never coming true. Just like with his house. Remember all the good times with Hajime, when it seemed like it could be possible for them to be friends. Remember when they used to talk. When maybe, possibly, Hajime might've loved him. Remember all the dreams he had of then being together, and how happy he would be, only to find out that it wasn't true. His dreams were...stupid and ridiculous. Hajime would never love him. And even if they were together, Nagito still wouldn't be happy. Hajime was never around. He never talked to him. He never spent time with him. There was no relationship there at all anymore.

Home really was a prison. He was stuck there all day, every day. With no friends to distract him or take him out. No boyfriend present at all. Alone only with the thoughts of all the things he missed and all the things he dreamed of that he would never get. Knowing that nothing would ever get better and that he had nothing left in his future but suffering. It was...helpless, suffocating, stifling, claustrophobic. Like being stuck in a straight-jacket. Constantly alone, with no one to talk to and no way out. Going home was the worst punishment he could ever get.

He froze in his spot, so abruptly that the employee jerked and glared back at him.

That was the point. Of course! How had he not realized it sooner? Ahaha! How stupid and blind he had been! Of course this was the worst punishment. Of course that was the one he would get. Obviously. This was punishment. That was the point. This was the punishment he deserved. He deserved the worst possible punishment in the world for what he'd done. He deserved to have everything he wanted dangled in his face, held just out of his reach forever. And if he ever got closer, his hopes would get further away. What a cruel, fitting punishment! What a deserved torture for someone as worthless as him! He should know better than to dare to hope. Hope was for people better than him.

He cracked a smile and let off a tiny laugh. All at once it hit him how ridiculous he was being. It wasn't his lot to complain about his life. He had no right. What happened to the version of him from the killing game? The one who could take any punishment, any misery, any despair and still smile. Still keep going, perfectly happy, content in his deserved suffering. Why was he being such a baby now?

Had he spent too much time around Hajime, and allowed his resolve to weaken? That must be it. He had grown too used to being happy. He had been basking in hope so much that he couldn't handle despair anymore. But that wasn't him. His lot in life was despair, forever, until the day he died.

And he shouldn't be complaining about that! This was a good thing. He was getting the punishment that he deserved. Hope was prevailing. Good was prevailing. He should rejoice in knowing that, in seeing that fact played out every day before his eyes. Every bit of suffering he went through just meant that hope was still winning. Every time he suffered, it should renew his faith in hope. A worthless piece of garbage like him was being punished. And he could take pride in his punishment and resolve. Take pride in going through all this despair for the sake of hope. Because didn't that prove his devotion? And his strength, what little of it he had? And if he got punished for all his horrible crimes, wasn't that a relief? Didn't that ease the guilt? He might have done bad things, but at least he was suffering for them. This punishment was a blessing!

He should revel in every bit of misery he got. Be proud of every horrible feeling and every instance of bad luck. It was time to be strong again. To stop complaining. To stop being so spoiled. It was time to stop expecting more than he deserved. To go back to being happy and content with his despair. His worthlessness. His misery. And he would go to the airport quietly, and they would see if Hajime would be late to pick him up, or if he would even bother to show up at all.

Time to smile at despair in the name of hope.

#updates #event: rebirth #event: end #its finally finished luckily just in time #but I have more unfortunte news that I'll post about

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years

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Youth - A. Irwin

For the lovely @starshonerose who requested a songfic from Blue Neighbourhood and thankfully didn’t roast me when I said BN was a song in my sleep-deprived state. Hope you like it, love!

Original story by Sarcastically-defensive17

Ashton knew love once. The purest form of love he had ever felt from a person not related to him. The kind of love that made your heart swell simply in anticipation of being in the presence of the other person.

Even now, 6 years on, his heart still swells when his mind lands on Y/N.

They were young but they truly believed they had found the truest love. They had been joined at the hip since they met at 10 years old, and had started a relationship at 15.

They didn’t part on the best terms when Y/N made the decision to move to the city for University. They knew the consequences of her application to her dream university, but Ashton didn’t expect it would end their relationship; he simply thought they would work it out long-distance until he was ready to follow her. That was until his mum got sick.

What if, what if we run away?

What if, what if we left today?

What if we said goodbye to safe and sound?

Anne-Marie was sick for a year, then made a full recovery and now maintains better health than she did before. Unfortunately, that time was enough time for the man to spend apart from his love.

He still found it hard to believe how they could go from cuddling on his bed, whispering about how they would one day run away and leave the monotonous life behind to breaking up for fear of losing each other.

He planned to give her his all.

She didn’t want to force him to settle.

And what if, what if we're hard to find?

What if, what if we lost our minds?

What if we let them fall behind and they're never found?

She never thought she’d see the day when she returned to her hometown, and to the boy she never forgot.

Y/N had earned her masters degree in Psychology, and she was planning to return for her doctorate after spending some time with her family she had left behind for 6 years.

Her parents had gone all out. She hired out the largest function area in the town, and organized for everybody to attend a welcome home party. Including the one person she was most nervous to see.

She had been forced to dress up nicely, although she managed to get away with her black doc Martens with her best little black dress, and as she walked through the entrance, arm linked with her mother, a camera flashed and sent her vision spotty.

And when the lights start flashing like a photobooth

And the stars exploding, we'll be fireproof

The only face she could make out amongst the dots in her vision.

Ashton Irwin.

His sandy blonde hair was slicked back, and his dimpled smile shined brightly beside his mothers matching one.

For a moment, Y/N and Ashton could have both sworn they were 17 again, cuddled together playing video games or relaxing as Ashton pelted the drums with his sticks, or as Y/N forced him to sit through various serial killer documentaries that interested her.

My youth, my youth is yours

Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls

My youth, my youth is yours

Runaway now and forevermore

He could feel her eyes linger on him for longer than they should have, but he turned his attention to his younger sister who had been ranting about how beautiful the woman looked.

She was no longer the girl of his youth, but now a woman who looked as stunning as she did 6 years prior.

It was as if he was experiencing the same love he did when he was younger, simply by looking at the woman he once loved so intensely.

My youth, my youth is yours

A truth so loud you can't ignore

She had to fight the urge to latch onto the man. He looked very similar to how he did before, but he no longer had the youthful glow on his face. He was now a chiseled man who looked confident in himself.

She had heard from her mother that he had become a teacher, after attending a local university and following his passion for helping kids.

Y/N did always tell him that he would be an amazing father; if only he gave enough of himself to somebody to settle down.

He gave himself to one woman long ago, and it was too loud a truth to ignore.

Just as she had given herself completely to him.

My youth, my youth, my youth

My youth is yours

Hours had passed, full of mingling and reconnecting with people she had lost contact with, all while avoiding the hazel-eyed gaze focused on her.

That came to an end when a deep but incredibly familiar voice flooded her ears.

“So, did you ever get your license?”

She could hear the smirk in the mans voice, and she was not surprised to see the expression plastered on the face of Ashton.

“For your information, public transport is much easier to navigate the big city,” she mirrored the gesture, improving hers with a smooth draw on the straw. Her mother had forced a vodka and midori into her sweaty palms to help her relax and open up.

“You can’t tell me that I really scared you out of driving that much?” He chuckled, and she felt the familiar tingle in her stomach and the swelling in her chest.

She couldn’t help the laugh that fell from her red stained lips.

“You drove 10kms blindfolded just because Michael dared you to!”

“Yeah well, I got that $100.”

“I see you’re no less insane,” she quipped downing the rest of her drink.

“I see you’re no less gorgeous.”

Her drink caught in her through and she all but sputtered it onto ashtons jacket, causing the man to let out the loud laugh that she adores.

It’s music to her ears and instantly makes her feel at home.

What if, what if we start to drive?

What if, what if we close our eyes?

What if we're speeding through red lights into paradise?

The remainder of the party was spent with the two young lovers rekindling and remembering why they were so enamored with each other years before.

The music died down, the patrons left, and the final photos had caused their vision to be spotted from the flashing lights.

They couldn’t be more at home despite the public setting. They couldn’t feel younger despite their adulthood.

'Cause we've no time for getting old

Mortal body, timeless souls

Cross your fingers, here we go

They walked in sync, their feet striking the same rhythm as they dawdled across the uneven ground of the local park ground.

They always found solace in the area after hours. The certain serenity that eased every worry and every racing thought in their minds.

Where they found themselves, six years later, fingers laced together as they did in their youth.

“Yknow, there hasn’t been anybody permanent since you,” she found herself whispering to the man, watching as his hazel eyes shifted their intensity to her face.

“Really?” He was dumbfounded, mouth agape at the thought of the woman he found so gorgeous spending the long period of time alone.

Just as he did.

And when the lights start flashing like a photobooth

She made a noice of agreement, “couldn’t find myself loving anybody as much as I love you.”

He took note of her choice of words, and his heart thumped against his rib cage at the confession.

“There hasn’t been anybody since you for me, either. Nobody could keep my attention anywhere near as long as you have,” his hand rested against her cheek, something he had longed to do since she walked out six years before.

She nuzzled her head into his hand, eyes boring into his, “I’m sorry I left you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t follow you.”

My youth, my youth is yours

Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls

My youth, my youth is yours

Runaway now and forevermore

“Ashton?” He grunted softly, signaling for her to continue. “Your my favorite part of my youth”

He leans close enough that his nose brushes against hers, resting his forehead on hers and she smiles brightly.

The act was a complete nostalgia trip, and try both reveled in the feel of one another after so long.

My youth, my youth is yours

A truth so loud you can't ignore

My youth, my youth, my youth

My youth is yours

“Darling, I realized long ago that I was happiest when I was 17. I was happiest with you,” his voice was louder than hers, and more serious despite the smile.

“Ash, I’m going back to the city soon,” she was sorrowful, not wanting to walk away from him again. The first time was painful enough and she didn’t want to hurt him again.

“Y/N, the last six years have made me realize something; I would follow you anywhere so long as you will have me,” he pulled back both hands on either side of her face.

She beamed at him, pulling him into a hug that he hadn’t felt in so long.

“I don’t want to let you go again, Ash.”

“Darling, I’ve been wrapped around your finger since we were 10, if I have my way, you won’t need to even consider letting me go ever again.”

My youth is yours

#ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin #5sos #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #songfic #5 seconds of summer #requested

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lunasxsol · 5 years

Text

Love Like This

Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Word Count: 2194

Warnings: Abortion

(A/N: If you do not believe a woman should have a choice on her body then you can fuck off thank you vm. On another note I hope you enjoy this angsty fic. I just had this idea lingering in my mind so it’s here now..)

As I sat in the waiting room dreading my name being called, I looked at the other women that look terrified to go into one of the rooms. Some of them came alone as myself and others came with their significant others or friends. A nurse had brought over a clipboard with some paper I had to sign. I was so nervous I couldn't keep my hands from shaking, I felt like I was going to pass out. Someone took my hand in theirs, I look up to see my best friend Maia. She took me in her arms as I silently cried.

"It's okay, I'm here."

"I thought I was gonna have to go through this alone."

She shook her head taking the clipboard from me, "I would never let you do this alone. Now you sit and calm down and I'll fill this for you okay?" I nodded taking a drink from my water.

Once she finished filling out the forms she handed them back to the nurse and we waited to be called over.

"Y/n L/n"

I got up quickly as did Maia, "You'll be alright, I'll wait here." She gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the head."

"Alright hun lets get you prepped." The nurse said as she took me to one of the operating rooms.

After 15 mins the procedure was finally done, they took me to the recovery room where Maia sat on the couch waiting for me. The nurse, Stella, handed me a cup of water and some pain meds before she went back to her office.

"You okay?" I nodded laying on the bed, Maia took my hand in hers. "He called." I stayed quiet not carrying what he had to say. "He called me too, I didn't pick up."

"Maia, I don't care anymore. I needed him here more than anything and he left me." My eyes started watering once again. "We'd been together for two years and he couldn't respect my one difficult decision. He can go to hell for all I care."

We stayed quiet for a while until the doctor came back and discharged me. Maia took drove us home, I thanked her for being there for me, "I'm going to sleep early today, goodnight Maia." She nodded.

I went into my room shutting the door quickly, taking a seat on my bed and letting myself cry. Maybe if we had gone through this conversation differently then maybe he would've respected my decision.

[Flashback]

I looked at the pregnancy test that read PREGNANT in its bold letters. What the hell was I gonna do? I'm only 19, I'm still enrolled in the uni. I have so much ahead of me. I can't put it aside, I've worked too hard for it.

"Hey babe!" Bill spoke as he walked into my room. "So my parents are having a celebratory dinner for Alexander- hey what's wrong?" He turned me around and I handed him the test. "Hey its alright, we'll figure this out."

I shook my head, "I'm not ready."

He pulled me into a hug sighing, "Neither am I but we can do this. You have me.. till the end."

"No you don't understand.. I'm not ready, I can't have a baby right now, Bill."

"So what you're going to give it up?" I nodded. "You're kidding right?"

"Bill, we aren't ready. Do you not get it?" I threw the pregancy test in the trash brushing past him and taking a seat on my bed. "Your body isn't going to go through the entire change. I am not you. You get to walk around and continue to do your shit while I go to class carrying the child and getting called a whore for opening my legs at a young age. So yes I am going to give it up because I'm too fucking young to have a child."

"Fuck them, you shouldn't give a fuck of what other people say about you. God knows I don't so neither should you."

I chuckled, "My parents sacrificed so much so they can send me here to study at the uni of my choice, I'm not messing it up because of our fuck up."

"So what our child is a fuck up now?" He was red with anger.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way but if you loved me you would respect my decision."

"I love you (Y/n but I'm sorry, I don't agree with it. So whatever you're thinking of doing to our 'fuck up' you can do it alone." He left slamming the door loudly leaving me completely alone.

[End of flashback]

I sat up turning the tv on to have some sort of background noise. There was a knock at my door I groaned not wanting to see Maia or anyone at the moment. "Maia I'm okay, I just want to sleep."

The door was opened and a tall figure had walked in.

"Hey."

"Get out."

"I'm sorry."

"Get the fuck out." He didn't listen and instead kept coming closer. "Bill seriously get the fuck out."

"I need to talk to you."

I chuckled, "Well if it's to try and change my mind you can kindly fuck off cause the procedures done and so are we."

"I know it's done and I should've been there." I finally looked up at him his eyes sunken and red. "I'm sorry, I should have respected your decision because it's your body. I was just happy that we were gonna have a baby. I thought you wanted one."

"I did, I do, just not now. Not till I was settled." He nodded both our eyes brimming with tears. "Bill I need a break, a really long break. You fucked up and I-I don't know anymore. Look I'm 19 you're 26, I don't want kids till I'm like 30 or maybe never I don't know. And well with the way you reacted it's evident you want kids now. I knew this relationship wasn't gonna last."

"Hey, hey, I do want kids but I can wait. Just don't-don't leave, please." He took my hand in his but I quickly moved it away.

I sighed now full on crying, "I'm sorry Bill but this isn't gonna work out. You can find someone your age that you can settle down with now. I still have years before I'll even remotely be sure if I want kids. By then you'll be in your mid 30s, which is besides the point but what if I don't want kids what will you do then?" He shrugged his shoulders crying silently. "I love you Bill but we can't be together anymore."

He got up pressing a lingering kiss on my forehead, "I'm sorry."

***

3 years later

Today was finally moving day. I had finished my studies in New York and I was moving back down to LA. My parents were a bit against it since we had lived there years ago but they hated it there but I loved it. I was moving down by the beach areas. Maia was staying here with her fiancé.

"Well Ms. those are the last of your boxes." I handed the movers a decent tip and they went on their way.

I turned to Maia as she was already getting emotional, "Hey no crying, it's bad for the baby."

She chuckled pulling me in for a tight hug, "Hey me and Rosalie are gonna miss you."

I pulled away immediately in shock, "it's a girl?" She nodded causing me to shriek in excitement. Tyler came into the room and I jumped on him. "Congrats!"

"We were actually wondering if you would like to organize the baby shower for us." Tyler spoke.

"Yes of course!"

"We wanted to do it in 4 months. Closer to her due date."

"Once I get everything situated in LA I'll get things prepped and fly back here to organize everything!"

There was a honk outside of our house.

"Well guys I will see you in 4 months!" I hugged them both goodbye and grabbed my suitcase getting into the taxi.

***

2 weeks later

I was finally getting the finishing touches to my new house down. I still had a bit of work left but everything was mostly good to go. Now I currently sat in my living room going through a couple of designs for tomorrow's meeting. With the help of one of my close celebrity friends he got me a job with Leah Valderia a famous singer from London. She wanted help with her house and of course I said yes. This could be a great opportunity for my interior design career.

It was getting late and I decided to call it a night. I would show her the designs I had and maybe go shopping with her for some of the things.

The next morning I made sure to wake up early. I took a quick shower to calm my nerves. For my outfit I decided on a corduroy skirt that was a creamy chocolate color and a black turtle neck that fit perfectly. I also went with a dark grey oversized blazer that was just an inch longer than my skirt, for shoes I went with some heeled ankle boots. I did some light makeup and left my hair in its regular straight style. I added just some thin gold necklaces just to bring the whole outfit together. I looked at the time and grabbed my purse and work folders quickly heading out of my house. Before leaving the lot I sent a quick text to Leah letting her know I was on my way.

The traffic to her mansion was horrible to say the least. Luckily I made it on time, I parked my car on the curb and jogged to her door. "Great you're here, please come in!"

Looking around I could definitely see some potential for this beautiful home, "So Y/n I'm so excited you're here. I'm hoping you can bring my vision to life!" We took a seat in her office and she opened her laptop sliding it towards me. She had quite the vision. "I will sure try."

We were in her office for two hours, let's just say she is completely indecisive about what she wants to do with this place. So beautiful and so much potential only her vision was nothing like mine. "So we can definitely do what you want to do and we can also add some color maybe open up these curtains here as well just to get some light and more open space."

"Great! Let me show you the nursery so you can kind of get an idea of what we can with it. This baby will be here in 3 months need to have it done before anything else."

"What are you having?"

"A girl! I'm so excited, I hope one day you get to experience how beautiful it is to carry a life."

I smiled not really knowing what to say I just nodded, "Hey honey, I'm home, brought the- Y/n?"

"Bill?"

"You guys know each other?"

"We-"

"I-"

"We dated years ago."

"Oh?" Leah looked down. "Is she?" Bill only nodded.

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna go. I can send you an email of other designers if-"

Leah shook her head, "No I love your work, that's why I called in for you. This thing you and Bill had is in the past so I would still like to work with you if that's alright."

I nodded, "Well I'll email you some of the ideas I have then we can get started immediately. I'll be back in a week?"

"Perfect."

"Well I'll see you Leah, beautiful house you have here."

Bill set his things down, "I'll walk her out." Leah only nodded.

My car was only a block away but as we walked it felt like it was miles away. "Congratulations." I broke the silence.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"I told you, you would find someone to make you happy. Look at you, you're gonna have a baby."

"Yeah, I'm really happy, but I'm still really sorry about what happened between you and I. I'm sorry we didn't work out and I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I should have been there for you."

I sighed trying not to cry, "It was a bit traumatizing, having the procedure done is weird and horrible but it had to be done. I don't think I would've been happy if we went through with the pregnancy. I never want to be resentful towards a kid that wasn't at fault you know." He nodded. "I went to therapy after we broke up, got back on my feet and now I'm okay with it. I'm happy for you and happy that you're with someone that can give you the life you deserve."

He pulled me in for a hug giving me a kiss on the forehead, "I love you Bill Skarsgård."

"I love you too Y/n L/n and I wish you nothing but the best."

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