#we could just be weird forever
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i hate being asexual so bad im like a caged dog. i think i need some intimacy substitute like whatyever hannibal and will have going on... or to contract vampirism.. but its not like i can go around biting people.. actually, if i had a bf and we just bit each other rly hard sometimes, like tomshiv, i could be normal. anyway, who wants a weird psychosexual thing with me that stays unresolved <3
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The gang’s all here!! They’re on the case!! And there’s no ghost that they wouldn’t chase!!!!!
@mysticalcats’s Foxglove, @toki-toro’s Chaumet, @emimii’s Clownaire, and my own Bluebelle :)
#this was indeed the project I was working on lmao#WHY DID THIS TAKE 17 BILLION YEARSSSSSS#I actually rly like how the actual paint turned out#ESPECIALLY FOR FOXGLOVE SQUEEEEE#he looks so cute….and I got all the colors mixed for Chaumet#watercolor oc painting: 1#back paint neck pain headache pain: 0#no but sketching this took such! a long! time!#I just straight up could not get foxglove and bluebelle right it was maddening#but I persisted and I beat the odds‼️‼️ Yipee‼️‼️#I love all of these guys so so so much I’ll prolly never stop thinking about them#please never stop talking about your ocs ever#and I am working on being coherent about Bluebelle as we speak!!!!#I got an idea and now I’m trying to make my brain not be mean about it#literally just chanting to myself ‘YOU! CAN MAKE! IT AS WEIRD!! AS! YOU WANT!!!’#shoutout to my fairytales throughout that ages book for inspiring me#100 points and a drawing of your choice if you can figure out the story Bluebelle’s backstory is based on lmao#ANYHOW#I just be rambling in these tags I perhaps need to calm down lol#I LOVE YALLS OCS FOREVER AND EVER!!!!#clownaire was literally perfect from the start I NAILED his pose first try and then he was very supportive the rest of the way through#live laugh love 🫶🫶🫶💐💐💐🩰🩰🩰#next up: Jemima painting!! with two special guests!!!#oh shit those are a lot of tags uhhhh I’m done now i promise 🫶🫶#cats the musical#cats musical#cats oc#jellicle oc#sorah’s silly scribbles#(also the text right under the drawing are a Scooby doo song LMAO it’s called Dig It Scooby Doo it’s insanely catchy)
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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT
#EVERYONE#NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER#i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving#literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things#for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW#so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing#so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan#OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG#& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted#to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it#i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN#like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...
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ripping this moment to shreds with my teeth
#OUGH YGHHHH ARGHHHH UGHHH RHRGRHRRHHRRRGRHRGHRRGHRH#sorry but im forever thinking about this literally tattooed this moment on my skin forever it means everything to me#one day we will unpack my obsession with murderous prettyboys who scratch their own skin bloody in moments of despair#cause their own downfall with their carelessness and their closest loyal friends' deaths with their fucked up ambition#and attempt suicide after their fall from grace#(they also fuck highborn women and have a weird gay thing going on with their misogynistic bestie. btw)#so yes we will unpack that but not today thanks. its not illegal to want to chew on murderous femboys yet#the three musketeers#vicomte de bragelonne#alexandre dumas#aramis i like you a normal amount king haha im unwell#anyway the fact that i could have just let this hyperfixation go a year ago and been totally fine and at peace with it#if sofia hadnt organised a playdate for her two coolest mutuals who hadnt known each other before...
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go crack open an ao3 tag of a fandom that aired/got published 10-15 years ago, realise that after sorting by kudos/bookmarks most fics on the front page may be good and solid but not any more or less earth-shatteringly rewiring your brain chemistry as the occasional gem on page 10, 50, 100, 1873, and maybe you'll calm down about popularity dick measuring contests
#mona rambles#on fandom#on ao3#almost as if popularity and numbers are relatively arbitrary#like. i do think there's a weird trend to be mean-spiritedly dismissive of people's work just because they get some numbers#but there's also absolutely fics lauded as fandom classics that did Not do it for me at all#so much of all these pointless lil numbers comes down to luck and coincidence and timing and what have you#like. pls calm down how do we keep having this discussion#I've read fics with less than 100 kudos that changed me as a person forever#and I've seen fics with over 30k (!!) that i could not make it through the 1st chapter of#which doesn't mean the author of the latter didn't put as much work and heart into it as the author of the former!#it just means that numbers don't mean shit and i neeeeeed people to stop trying to turn fandom into instagram#anyway#*mine
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LOST MYTH OF TRUE LOVE → for tav/the emperor | listen
i'd be the immediate forgiveness in eurydice / imagine being loved by me.
based on my ao3 collection of the same title, here is a mix for my tav, catarina, and the passionate calamity going on in her relationship with the emperor.
#not particularly chronological just vibes. hopefully the lyrics speak for themselves but yknow 😌#i resent that bitter by black box revelation isn't on spotify though. that's my special mention#each and every one of us needs someone to make love be true / we'll be in love forever / why don't we eat each other's heart#each and every days an everlasting passion kill / our souls entwined forever doomed together from the start / my ❤️ TASTES BITTER W/O YOURS#bg3 spoilers#the emperor#catarina#s: i am still dreaming of kissing your claws#dream visitor#i might change the album art later but for now i just used my own :]#i rly do want to make a mix for empy but the vibes would have to be so weird and i just want to put matryoshka on it like 15 times.#who could i even trust to understand that.#anyway moving on. 🤺#🦑.txt
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Finishing the Dark Knight and cannot stop laughing: Nolan's ability to finish a movie is like Sting's ability to finish a song.
#it just goes on and on and on with a slow gradual fadeout#it was the same issue in dunkirk#i get it finishing beloved things is so very hard you're like what last bit of preach can i squeeze in here? was it sufficiently hammered i#i have moments of *total* absorption and breathlessness then slammed in the face with this weird stiff dialogue; nolan does *so well* -#-in those mad sequences with next to no dialogue#kidlet has committed to watching the nolan back catalogue with me so expect random nolan commentary for a bit while we mother-son bond#even kid was going 'why are they still talking??? didn't this movie finishhhhh? i wanna watch tmnt'#i am attempting to build myself up to nolan's cm vehicle because it ain't my usual taste#you could parody a nolan film in a skit of a triumphal ending that just doesn't end. i feel like i've seen this before#load blown man you can't stay in there forever#makes movies instead of sex#such a sexless movie the dark knight. like the most physical chemistry was between joker and dent#even batman's weird idolisation of dent was so marble-statue pure of course the man could only live up to it while safely dead#the second-most physical chemistry was between fox and alfred and they don't even share a scene together#'not my diagnosis' what did nolan offer to get cm out of bed for that one
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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So the problem is. That I don't want to call Ten-cubed "fourteen." I think Ncuti should be. Fourteen. He IS fourteen.
But if I want to talk about Ncuti's specific incarnation of this character. And make it clear that I am talking about him. I will have to call him "Fifteen." But doing that means that everyone involved in this ridiculous naming decision wins.
#maybe we call him 'gatwa!doctor' ??#kind of like we do with the masters#(and we've done this with other doctors too like war and ruth so it's not like there's no precedent)#(then again this will change ALL the numbers going forward. like whoever's after gatwa will '''officially''' be sixteen & so on & so forth)#WHY DOES THE SAME ACTOR GET TWO NUMBERS. ONE OF THOSE WASN'T EVEN A FULL RUN. WTF RUSSELL#like I'm willing to say that maybe. MAYBE. there wasn't active malicious intent. but holy shit the optics are SO bad.#genuinely I am still mad about this and I will be forever#I promise I am not trying to make this one (1) writer man into my parasocial enemy there are plenty of other people I could do that with#who deserve it more. I just get...tired.#like really it's the fact that everyone interpreted the past 2 eras in the WORST faith possible and STRAIGHT-OUT MADE UP THINGS TO COMPLAIN#ABOUT THAT WERE NOT CANON. but there's SO little impulse to criticize ANYTHING regarding russel or dt's 70000 incarnations#which. that discrepancy/hypocrisy isn't COMPLETELY the show's fault. but that. unfortunately. doesn't make it any less annoying.#there was something else I was going to say but I deleted it for being a bit TOO salty#mel screams about The Weird Little Space Show again
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Listen being in your 20s doesn’t mean you’re old; you’ve barely been able to do anything without direct adult supervision at this point but also it makes me feel old when I get a cut that draws blood and it takes fucking months to heal and when it does it leaves an ugly scar.
#ra speaks#personal#scars#listen okay I have trichotillomania and dermatillomania I KNOW when it’s my bad for constantly fucking w a cut or whatever#but even when I do everything right - neosporin bandaids whatever IT STILL TAKES FOREVER AND SCARS BADLY. WHY.#(there’s a genuine possibility this is part of my moms autoimmune thing that I probably inherited#by which I mean sometimes we get blood work done and it looks like we’re dying of blood cancer but a month later our blood work is normal#so the docs are just like huh. weird. ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ )#but seriously if someone could tell me how to get cuts to heal faster that would be great. like am I just missing something in my diet?#a vitamin???? bro I cut myself shaving a month ago and it still hasn’t healed over fully *head in hands*
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i’ve been using those toe spacers for my tailors bunions & it’s like damn …. yall rly just walk like this ??
#stream#ALSKALSKLAKSLAJSLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#i just thought this was normal for 2 decades ….#but also :( SAD ! they won’t actually correct them at all in terms of permanence bc u need to actually go get surgery to fix it but that#leaves u w 2 metal pins & i don’t want those#it helps those calluses a LOT lmfao#like ok there goes my love for fucking just SHREDDING them w the foot file but also that’s a good thing bc i always cut myself like not my#feet but my hands😭😭😭😭#but i get them sooooo raw & clean it’s sooo satisfying it’s ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#then i’d go walk on them & i could feel the bone screaming but it was sooooo SAFISFYING TO FEEL IT#it’s like a tickle but also a pleasure & a pain but it’s soooooooo GOOD idk it’s literally like a drug to me#but it just gets to delay me doing that but i know it’s not healthy & if i get them fixed i probably won’t get to do that again#bc i know exactly why i got them & it’s bc id wear the same cleats for years until they were like worn out growing up so like#……. my feet would grow but the Shoe Is Not#& it’s been like that forever so i didn’t realize it was weird#tbh idk it’s like i’ll see someone’s feet & be like did u play soccer growing up ? & they’ll say yes like we got matching fucked up toes !!!#😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Part 6 of my poll adventure fic. Links: the beginning, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.
It's mid-day Wednesday (at least for my time), which means a new part of my poll adventure fic, because I've been here for over a year and still don't know how to use this site effectively. :D (Oh wait, here, I made a poll about tumblr timing.)
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Valerie walked toward Vlad through the rubble, hugging a hissing and clawing Maddie against her armor. "Found him," she said proudly, smiling up at Vlad. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Actually, there is. There's a malevolent ghost loose in Amity Park, posing a serious risk to my health, as well as to the city. I need him contained and brought to me."
Oh, cheese sticks with marinara dipping sauce! He had meant to do the responsible thing here—not ask a fourteen-year-old child who couldn't even hold a cat properly to risk her life in his stead.
...He really had become too accustomed to avoiding anything unpleasant.
"Sure thing, Mayor Masters!"
Maddie squirmed out of Valerie's hold with an angry yowl and ran off.
Well, he could still work with Valerie. ...If he truly wanted to. He was unlikely to succeed on his own, anyhow, if this older version of Daniel actually was as powerful as he'd heard.
But did he truly want to be a part of this endeavor? He was already dreading it, with only the thought.
He recalled what the older Daniel had said—that he let his emotions hold too much sway, and that in turn caused his plans to fail.
Which had been exactly the case when he'd felt some level of compassion for that ghost.
Thinking purely objectively, Vlad could still use the ghost if he could get him back under his control. And if Vlad were to have some part in the ghost's capture—in saving Amity Park—it would boost his ratings. He did need to keep his position as mayor of Amity Park for his contingency plans.
"Valerie, dear. Why don't we work together? I'm sure it's just misplaced guilt, but I can't help but feel somehow responsible for this situation. Ridiculous, I know. However, working with you on his capture would ease my poor conscience."
"Oh... uh, you've never suggested this before," Valerie said uncertainly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, as though she was trying to think of some way that poor old 'Mayor Masters' could work with her. "But if that's what you want."
'Cheerleader' isn't, ah, a literal cheerleader. (Don't make me dress him up in a skirt.) It just means... like, advertising and cheering her on. More of a cheer-leader (...which is probably an even more literal meaning actually).
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"Alert me when there's an update" list:
@charlietheepic7, @chrysanthemum9484, @mymadmedleyw, @dp-marvel94, @aikoiya, @whydouwantmyname, @cinturon-cadena, @freakofyournature, @satanicrutialspecialist, @danphantom80
(if you want on the list, specifically ask to be alerted for updates in a tag or comment. Ask again if I forget! If I can't tag you, I'll send a Message.)
#danny phantom#vlad plasmius#valerie gray#poll fic#poll adventure#asj post#asj writing#Don't worry Maddie's fine. She(?) is just startled from the collapse and doesn't like strangers much.#We know Valerie's not a dog person but who said she was a cat person either?#Vlad will probably run into Danny in the next part.#(...you guys voting for Vlad to ask two young children to help him catch a very dangerous ghost.)#actually I probably should've thought to add an 'everyone he can' option. In Reign Storm against Pariah Dark he'd talked to several people#Hmm... if this works out good enough to later post on AO3 I'll need to remember to add that option.#(I'm afraid the plot is deteriorating though.)#(And I can't figure out how to End a path. This could go on forever. ...Especially if you guys keep shifting the plot.)#It's kind of fun though. You guys sometimes come up with such weird ideas.#...I'm not sure how long s post can be before I should add a Keep Reading/Read More break.
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Are you a fello bigslab shipper
late 2 answer this bc ive been so busy and i wanted to write up a whole thing abt the post bu the tl;dr is that i got invested in bigslab bc of an au with my partners that involves them with a rly fun dynamic. i just havent seen it anywehre else but now im like dang. i should rotate them more
#ask#bigb-enthusiast#the au is a renchanting/red army vampires au and etho is an old/true vampire (born of a curse instead of being bitten) who turns bigb#they spend months trapped together under rough circumstances and etho like. could leave. but he doesnt. bc bigb cant and would otherwise di#so at bigb's request etho turns him to save his life and they both make it out of there#and then its like. the enormity of what bigb agreed to under stress starts to settle in#they were in the middle of a war and then they lose the war and bigb is . still there. he;s just a vampire now#his side of this au isnt fleshed out as much bc i am a treebark guy thru and thru but i would like to rotate it more#hes out in the world finding his way through it as a vampire. and he and etho keep crossing paths.#he and etho DEFINITELY have a weird gay thing going on#most holidays he meets up again with the red army at the old castle they all died to protect#i think we could give vampire bigslab a medieval hallmark holiday romance movie. tbh. those words mean nothing together actually do they#forgive me. i am SO fucking tired forever and ever
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acv hate on my dash and i can't even be mad about it because they make some good points 😶
#like yes it was extremely fucking weird to have us play as a viking with all the violence that entails#while conveniently sidestepping any real consequences for that violence or contending with the results of that violence#because you're too afraid that lingering on it for too long might make your protag look bad#it's like they suddenly decided that their audience is too stupid to deal with moral ambiguity. in the moral ambiguity franchise.#this is once again drifting towards my forever argument that making these games rpgs was a mistake#or rather making these games *half-assed* rpgs was a mistake#and weakens the narrative bc there's never any meaningful follow through for any decisions#including some of the decisions that we the player don't even get to make ourselves#like i think having a set narrative would eliminate a lot of the problems with this game's writing#because they clearly weren't willing to take the rpg elements all the way#also just... make it smaller. there's too many arcs and too many diversions from the main narrative#which while a lot of them admittedly have some fun character moments they probably should not have been required to advance the main story#and with no mission replay or ng+ it's just so prohibitive to replay unless you're like me (deeply mentally ill and in love with eivor)#the point being that dissonance has always bugged me about this game. i could fix her i could fix her i could fix her#anyway. hi i'm gonna go do that ask game now ajdgjhdsf#the nerve pain last night was making it difficult to be on the computer. tbh it also is right now but we soldier on 🫠#ky posts text#ac.txt
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know you're in too deep with a william ship when it's 4am and he's lying next your muse and suggests that they should/could "be together for eternity"
#˖ ✧ ship musings » ( moth to the flame )#'should' if it's like. the college verse/pre-remnant#'could' if he's discovered remnant and also he's dead fucking serious#william 'i've discovered immortality & i'm about to make it everybody's problem' af.ton#this is in line with my joke abt him unironically bringing up 'do you think a person can become a god' in conversation#william @ the partner he intends to spend his life with like#'you can't ever die' 'we could be together for eternity' 'i can't afford to lose you' 'you'll be mine forever'#and he frames it all like 'oh i just really love you haha' if you point it out as weird#unless you actually know what he's up to in which case no he's dead serious. spend eternity with him.#your first warning is the first time he says 'you're mine' & your muse just thinks he's trying to be sexy#locked yourself into a relationship with the guy who wants to make you both immortal and also murder people
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thinking about angel banishing sigil tattoos on Sam & Dean, but in order to make them effective, they have to be tattooed with their own blood. Which apparently leads to the body reabsorbing the tattoo after a few weeks, so they’d have to do it constantly to stay safe. Sam & Dean committing to this ritual every few weeks… tattooing themselves in their own blood or maybe even each other’s…
#i do not think that is strictly healthy but this is Sam & Dean I don’t think they care#they just go ‘oh we can force our blood under each other’s skin to protect each other and leave a mark that anyone will be able to see?’#and then don’t think twice they just do it#oh 🥺 Dean being ready to do it from the get-go. if it’ll protect Sam. if it’s a bit of him for Sam to carry everywhere…#he’s got the blood drawn and the tattoo needle ready before Sam even says anything#but sam has to be convinced. what if his blood hurts Dean. what if he’s too corrupted to protect Dean like that.#but Dean coaxes him into doing it anyway. he’ll take the risk.#and then by the end they’ve both got matching blood tattoos along with their matching anti-possession ones#and they work too. Nick a finger and put the bleeding tip on the center of the tattoo and boom! banishing.#but they have to keep reapplying them as they’re reabsorbed…#which is probably a part they both like honestly. little bit of them is going to sink into the others bloodstream forever.#they are such freaks <3#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#should I tag this wincest? I mean I wasn’t thinking about it I just think they’re Weird about each other#and like. what’s a little blood tattoo compared to being platonic life partners in your supernatural war bunker where you’re raising#a devil son right?#but I guess you could also look at this as a romantic thing or something.#eh. for the sake of people’s filters ill tag it:#wincest#I can see it. it could definitely be that.#look away dev
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