Lordy, Johnny has been on another level lately. Sometimes I forget just how f’n attractive he is and then I’m punched in the gut with it.

He just gets hotter and more mature looking every year. Ugh, my man, what a man. But he needs to stop deluding us with his daddy talk.

Now I’m watching his fan cams. The way he kisses at (?) at 3:35. 🥴 https://youtu.be/UC3wd6Gq0H8?feature=shared

just saw this and im srsly so proud of him because this is the exact mentality he should have!!!! especially with the way some kpop stans age shame and discard idols once they’re like over 25 smh.

its nice that this is what he is saying to a FAN too because I’m tired of people being afraid to get older. it seems like a hot topic this week online especially lol💀

he’s really embracing his older and more mature image and rolling with it, LOVE that for him! AND HE’S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!! HE IS IN HIS PRIME!

he can very much keep deluding me personally😁

sooo normal about this (lying)

Gaz is obviously really nice and sweet and lovely but he also does give me the vibe of someone who like, if you were with a group of people jumping off somewhere high into water and you were scared and hesitating he'd absolutely delight in shoving you in. Like you come up later yelling at him and he goes 'i was just trying to help you!!! I'm sorry :(!!!' but he's not. He will take more opportunities to scare the shit out of you just to hear you squeal. The sooner you catch on the sooner you can put a stop to it because he doesn't want you to think he's mean or anything... He's not, but he's just the slightest bit of a sadist.

I watched Shubble's vod talking about abuse a few days ago and she said something that stuck with me. She told a story where her abuser bit her really hard in front of their friends. She yelped in pain and they laughed.

Men, when we see our friends make jokes about hurting women, don't laugh. Make it uncomfortable. It's not funny. This isn't a joke. You may not think your brothers and friends are abusers, but it doesn't mean that any of this is funny.

I'm certain their friends didn't think there was anything going on behind the scenes, but they should have. I could never even imagine joking about bringing harm to my partner. I'm sure most of them couldn't either. We need to stay vigilant and critical of the ways we carry ourselves around others. What does our laughter signal to the women around us?

My brothers, hurting women is not a joke. Don't laugh.

rewatching st s4 and just. lucas. love of my life he was trying so hard to do the right thing…. he’s still just the protector guy…… him and steve just…. two bisexual self sacrificing jock peas in a pod……

consider: mad genius who's also a very kind and lonely old man

actually adores children and connects with them better than most people because they are both openly candid, creative and curious

struggles with the asexual conundrum of wanting a spouse and offspring but ultimately Sucking So Much Ass at building intimacy with another person he skipped that part altogether and mad scienced his way into a family

in due south 3x03 "i coulda been a defendant" when brothers in arms by dire straits hits, and then they play it nearly in full... talented. brilliant. incredible. all those other things lady gaga said.

I've probably talked about this before, but man, when we're talking about the dangers of mandating trans people go to the "correct sexed" spaces, that isn't the time to bring up passing trans people and say how weird it'll be to see a man in the women's restroom or vice versa, or whatever other example there is.

It still puts trans people in danger whether or not they pass, or if they "look" like they don't belong in a space. Who do you think is most in danger of these mandates? Because cis people will (generally, not always, obviously) be fine, if anything, it will be trans people who are affected, and those assumed trans.

Hey Isa!! So I haven’t really been following the QSMP, I’ll admit, but I heard about the recent angst of the “Cage for a cage” situation, and I’m very intrigued! What are Philza and Wilbur’s stories in the QSMP? I’d love to know more! Also where could I find all their footage to catch up?

Well Wilbur's sorta yeeted into the void bc of Lovejoy things, so there's not much to talk about on his front. He has his egg daughter Talullah, who Phil is looking after and has adopted as his own at this point bc its been months, and that's kinda it as far as major keypoints go for Wilbur lore. That and he canonized (or tried to?) him/Phil father/son dynamics again. Haven't heard much from the community if we accepted that as canon or as a Wilbur Bit Because Of Course He Tried To Canonize That Again.

Phil lore on the other hand. OUGH. I don't know where to start, it feels like so little and so much at the same time. Which is funny bc this motherfucker is so allergic to lore despite being a bomb ass rper (I have 11+ years experience rping, this man is rp veteran approved). I get timezones exist and whatnot & he's usually 3-4 hours into a stream already by the time he gets on QSMP to begin with, but he dodged so much of The Horrors for so long. This week has been an outlier and the crows are suffering thriving.

As far as his lore (in a simplified tldr) goes: Ancient bird man wired for nothing but survival gets plopped on a weird island with other English speakers & Spanish speakers. Shit Is Weird And Continues To Be, but all the islanders make friends with eacg other. They're *emotionally slams fist on table* levels of tightknit. Phil especially is always so ready to help anyone out. Timeskip a month or so, Island Federation decides to play matchmaker and then make said matches parents. They're given a dragon's eggs because Dragon Gone ??? Phil acquires egg kid and raises them to be a careful & loving powerhouse like himself (& then later gets second egg kid who's meant to be Wilbur's) only for the island he's stuck on to throw every wrench at him they can in the form of mobs, federation people, trivial ass tasks given by said feds, and more. The longer things go on the worse they get, and ancient man's biggest weakness is his two kids who keep getting used against him. But ancient bird man is an anarchist, this federation can pound sand. Federation doesn't like that! Ancient bird man get punished. (And that's skipping chunks of things, but I have the memory of a peanut so I'll leave better summaries to someone better equipped.) Also when he's not experiencing the horrors he has at least 4 other men thirsting for him at any given time and he donowalls their advances beautifully while also playing into their flirting and thirsting at the same time because he has No /R Thoughts, Only Goddess Wife and egg children. Goddess wife also encourages his unintentional yaoi-ing.

I DO know you can catch up on QSMP lore via the official recap channel "QSMP Info" on YouTube! There's two videos out so far so the recaps aren't caught up to date yet, but they're made by the admins of the server, so they're thorough and accurate.

There's also a Phil VODs channel that's run by one of the most devoted PEGS (Philza Early Gang Society, Phil's offline chatters <3) in the crow community. I'm sure they have every single QSMP vod uploaded (but strap in, Phil's not a 1-3 hour stream andy, he's a 5-8 hour stream chad). Most times, he does Hardcore first then QSMP later (though I think a few times while playing TOTK he'd get on later too so ??? Good luck?) so realistically despite being a 5-8 hour stream chad, there's only 2-4 hours of QSMP in the vod, you just gotta skim through the last half of the vod. For reference, you'll want to search for vods from March 22nd, 2023 to now. That's how long QSMP has been going. It'd be laborious to fish out every crumb of QSMP stream time but I do genuinely think it's worth it just to see how things on the island develop and why so many people are screaming about The Horrors every day.

I'm sure you could also scrape around YouTube for like. Fanmade recaps, perhaps even Phil-centric ones, though I'd be wary of ones that have character analysis rather than just the plain ol stream content a) because they won't have every bit of footage & b) Sometimes People Are Wrong About Characters. You could also dig for clips of major moments (Phil has some on his Phil Clips YT but they're mostly funny) but that'd probably not give you the whole picture if you wanna be slamming your fists on the table and screaming like a monkey with the rest of us LOL.

There's also plenty of livebloggers who scream as streams progress, so check out some tags maybe. The main one is probably #qsmp liveblogging but that'll be any & all member POVs so it's not the most helpful resource but an idea nonetheless. You'd probably be better off looking through #qsmp philza or #q!philza or something, you'd just have to sift through creative works, memes & shitposts too.

Any crows who follow me that might have more/better resources are welcome & encouraged to reblog or reply to this and add Phil lore summaries (and your character analyses bc Phil mains are trustworthy) or more things to check out in order to get all the Good Shit Lore(TM) btw!

(Reblogging might also help this reach crows who DO have more/better suggestions or the capability to recap Phil lore thoroughly, so please do that. :] )

I have successfully boiled my problem with most of the izzy reads that i hate down to a sentence:

he's not sexually repressed, he's emotionally repressed.

me walking into a grocery store after watching NOPE for the first time and seeing a balloon display

𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱. This, beyond being a testament to his softer heart, his rather sizable well of care, is a consequence of his time shared with Mystra. Being a worshipper, a follower and lover both to the mother of magic, Gale is far more familiar with giving than receiving. A tremendous deal more. Beyond those illusions of love, Mystra granted him nothing, and whenever she was troubled, even sour or short, it was Gale, doting Gale, who would smooth it out. In truth, short of the stars, he had offered her everything. His whole life to boot. Still, living for some years prioritizing Mystra, Gale's grown notably reluctant to ask for help. It's why, when strapped with the netherese orb, newly blighted and rotting to death, he'd sooner clamored in his tower than look to friends. He's loathed to show his folly, of course, and is far from a fan of stirring worry, but with Mystra, any ask he'd made was resolutely shunned, and from his lover, his deity, that left its mark. Gale--a giver, a man that wants to hope but doesn't dare to--is not a man to ask for anything. If ever he does, the ask is comically small, and even then, he expects to be denied almost immediately. Consequently, an eager kindness leaves him floored. Gale can read displeasure. (See: Mystra.) Gale's trained to soothe it, too. Yet, when confronted with the novelty of that same generosity, your resident Gale of Waterdeep is like a fish out of water.

Last fanart before the New Year for @pdrrook Perfumare featuring Laurent and my MC Liz, cuddling.

After playing Laurent's route, and that the man just wants someone to come home to, yet he feels like it's such a selfish thing to want. That's especially hard for Liz because she knows what it's like to be rejected by your own family. Yet, at least she was able to find a new family with Flavio and Reed, and it broke her heart, learning that Laurent didn't believe he deserved to feel loved. Even considering Laurent works for the SPD, he does genuinely want to help and protect people.

Thankfully, Liz can be stubborn, and on Laurent's route, she's determined to make the man understand he is deserving of love and family dammit!

ough guess I am regaining the sense of being Personally Responsible for all and sundry occurrences

but also not sure what I'm imagining I might have done about a clearly doped up man chasing another with brick in hand

Platonically adore my psych for a number of reasons but a big one is that her whole practice is committed do de-colonising and stripping anglo christian values from therapy. Discussions on violent urges and guilt below the read more

So in my last session when I was like "I know I am a bad person because I solved most of my problems growing up with violence and genuinely enjoyed doing so what if I'm the next jack the ripper no one should enjoy violence" and my psych just uno reverse cards me and goes "Nah fuck that, all the examples of you hurting people are in situations where you were actively defending another person, often a minority, and gave warnings before attacking. Its bullshit that people are 'allowed' to hurt you but if you hurt them back you're suddenly the monster. Fuck that. You had your power stripped away and found a way to get it back, of course that felt good" and then we spent the last like ten minutes flipping between being nostalgic about past fights and talking about subjects like the military, police brutality and the way the western world moralists and demonised violence from any individual or group other than the ones that support the oppressive status quo

Jacket!!!! Ye olde varsity I got at the very beginning of my transition thinking "Oh fuck yes I am going to pass so hard in this" and. Well. It never worked I just have never passed a day in my life I don't think 😔 Eventually it just became a beloved test subject and has since gone through a bit of a transition itself LMFAOO

Some Notes:

> A lot of the decorations are taken from old backpacks I loved dearly that got absolutely fucking destroyed by the weight of all the shit I'd lug around in highschool LMFAO (sketchbook, diary, all kinds of notebooks...). Never had the heart to get rid of them. Specifically: The pink zippers, the holographic pockets, the glow in the dark stars, and the holo angel wings!

> The pink/blue checkers are from a small decorative quilt I thrifted years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if it was handmade (it's super soft material, btw! Important LMAO). I only took out one line of squares, I plan on stitching the rest of it back together (haven't done it yet though LMFAO). The reason for this was to upsize the jacket, so I can button it without it clinging. The pockets were added for funsies ESP cause it lined up very well and aren't really practical LMFAO (BUT YOU CAN PUT THINGS IN THEM! If you want!! 🎉🎉🎉)

> The patches (esp the name/pronouns one) were the first additions actually. Eventually more and more things were added, but I will say all the pins on the opposite side of the patches were haphazardly placed for a concert I VERY BADLY wanted to look good for LMFAOO (that's when the stars were added too! Fighting for my life on the car ride over speedrunning sewing and trying not to throw up about it AHAKHSKSHDK)

> Spike placement may be odd and I'd like to add more, but also I do frequently still carry around big heavy backpacks so I have to take that into consideration. Which is also why the wings have been bolted on. Those motherfuckers are NOT going anywhere LMFAO (has a really cool visual effect too!!)

> The material of the jacket itself (sort of a swishy windbreaker fabric) IS ABSOLUTE ASS TO WORK WITH. BY THE FUCKING WAY. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. I would NOT recommend it to anybody ESPECIALLY someone who is just starting to fuck around and find out. I literally am just sticking it out bc of the sentimental value this fucker has to me 😭😭😭

This jacket was my first plunge into customization and punk fashion, I didn't have a plan and still don't have one (and I think it kind of shows lmfao). I do worry that it's too soft and cutesy. Kind of the whole point for me, when it came to leaning heavy into punk, was to feel sharper, like I had some bite to me. I might be getting closer, but I think I'm still just kind of a silly guy LMAO. But, I do think in a way, esp as my first project, it represents me well -- where I started, what I loved before the beginning, what I tried desperately to be, what I still wish for, reuniting with the things I loved and embracing them in a brand new context. It's still an ongoing project too! So maybe as I keep growing, it'll grow alongside me, maybe finding that grit I've been striving for along the way.